#But the truth was that this relationship wasn't healthy for EITHER of them

[nexttrickanvils]

I just got all of Eve's collectables in NSR and I am in pain. 😢

[hinakazino]

Tobi’s Sister? || Akatsuki w/ child!reader

Summary: You’re tobi’s sister, that’s it. You may also be the one the Akatsuki love most.

Warnings: Fluff, tiny bit of angst.

Inspired by this piece: uchihas w/ sister!reader.

You were the last Uchiha ever born, as in you were born a little over a year before the Uchiha Clan Massacre. Obito had known about your presence as it was no secret when a new member was arriving.

Although it was traditional to keep quiet about it until around the 2nd semester out of worry for stressing out the mother. He still found out anyway, and he wasn't sure how to feel about it.

Your arrival was a heartwarming moment. Your mother was very happy for you filled up her heart. Her heart which was dull, was now filled with hope, from the previous loss of her son, him.

It was unfortunate then, that not long after having you that she had gone. That the whole clan had gone, except for you and Sasuke. Obito had debated on your worth but ultimately he chose to keep you and Madara didn't seem to be against it.

Madara himself hearing that he had a little sister had simply said that "we should at least leave out some hope for our clan". So, on the night of the Uchiha massacre you were taken to a secret location, death faked.

From that point on, Obito had raised you on his own and he soon found that you were his love. You were so sweet and adorable, he didn't want anything happening to you. When you came he swore no feelings towards you, yet now you are his weakness.

It wasn't like Obito hid his face from you either, but he knew that he had to keep his plan foolproof so he never told you his real name, sticking to Tobi/big brother. He'd save that revelation for when you were much older.

By the age of 3, you were a healthy toddler who was energetic and intelligent. You picked up things quicker than others, such as walking and talking. Although you weren't a professional you could communicate what you wanted. It was at this age that Obito introduced you to the Akatsuki. Most of the members were surprised by this. Not really by the point that Tobi had this child with him who he had a brotherly relationship with, but more so the point that Pain actually allowed you into the organization.

By the age of 4 you had gotten used to your environment, you were an energetic child. Tobi was personally worried about how the Akatsuki would treat you but nothing bad came out of it. You were given all you needed and treated with the utmost respect.

It was honestly laughable, how the akatsuki. The most powerful criminal organization, dawned in their signature black, red cloud cloaks had this small child. In her small puffy dress running around.

The truth was that not all of the akatsuki knew you personally, they knew you exist but not all have met you. It was decided that you'd be with the main group.

Pain was at a loss of words, truly, when you were introduced into the equation. He knew right away that you were definitely an uchiha and that you had quite a strong bond with Tobi (for him, "Madara").

But it seemed that out of all things Tobi sincerely meant everything he said about you. He had even cited how Pain and Konan wanted to create a place where children could be happy, "a place I hope she'll be," he said while cradling your sleeping form.

So, Pain ultimately did let you in but not without stating his own terms. Handling a child was not at all easy and if you were to stay with them. You should at least be trained to an extent where you were useful.

After all, the organization doesn’t want any people who’d slow them down. At least, that was the original reason, deep down Pain did feel the need to protect you.

Ultimately a plan was devised, they’d take care of you, teach you, and train you. The more difficult things could be dealt with later on. So, a teaching plan was developed for you when you became apart of the Akatsuki.

Kakuzu had known of your arrival long before any of the other members. As previously Pain had consulted him on this as part of the budget would be put towards taking care of you. This, greatly annoyed Kakuzu.

Kakuzu didn't understand why Pain even cared about you to this extent. He saw this as wasted money, baby formula and diapers weren't cheap. But thankfully, he didn't have to worry about that because by the time you were established as a member you didn't need that anymore.

He eventually didn't mind you at all as you weren't that big of an annoyance. You weren't that interested in him at first. Eventually though due to Pains plan Kakuzu would have to teach you mathematics.

A class, which, to your dismay and Kakuzu's you disliked. Nonetheless he was at least grateful you absorbed knowledge and was quite shocked whenever you'd join into his money-speaking conversations with Hidan.

Hidan was one of the most shocked members, "oh I wonder how strong she is!" he had said. Then when your small form peaked out from behind Tobi, Konan had to reminded him that you were just a child.

Hidan got along with you easily though, and it was no secret the rest of the members enjoyed the "tea parties" you'd host with him and Deidara. Hidan greatly enjoyed your innocence to the world.

Especially your reaction to new things. He remembers laughing so hard when he had you try french fries for the first time, or when you'd seen a shooting star for the first time. He made sure of course, to tell you to make a wish. He really enjoyed your company.

Despite this, Hidan wasn't given an educational role but more so a babysitter rule. It wasn't ideal but he was like a guard for you, since he enjoyed your company he was tasked with keeping an eye on you most of the time.

Deidara reacted exactly like Hidan had, he didn't expect you to be a kid though honestly! When he first saw you he honestly thought you were quite cute. You were so chubby and soft, he loved whenever he'd come back from a long mission. You'd run and hug him!

It was even better when Hidan and him would compete for who you'd hug first. However most of the time you wouldn't choose or just run to Konan instead.

Deidara, unlike Hidan, although being assigned to watch over you partly also was your art teacher. Deidara was not allowed to use explosions at all with you, this was strictly forbidden by Pain and more so by Tobi. Not like he would though after seeing how easily you could get injured. You had merely fell but it'd left you with two bleeding knees that healed fast thankfully since you were still young, but had scared you for awhile. It hurt Deidara to witness that, who would enjoy that anyway?

He mainly just has you make sculptures with him, and it isn't like he hates doing other things besides sculptures. So besides his tendency to destroy things in "the name of art" he really doesn't do that with you also because you had cried once. That was when he realized you were more of a collection person.

Sasori hadn’t given any reaction at all when you’d arrived. He saw it like this, as long as you didn’t disturb him he wouldn’t you. However, it seems like Pain had other plans.

As you technically had to be taught besides being taken care of. It turns out that Sasori had been chosen to be your science teacher. He wasn’t particularly fond of this idea as a child such as you seemed quite dumb, no?

Well he was wrong about you being dumb because you were quite intelligent for your age, but not obedient. Sasori was a man who’d get the job done though so he found a way around your constant moving. It didn't take a genius to figure out kids were active.

He was actually starting to enjoy teaching you then, as you were always excited when he said he had something new for you. You absorbed knowledge from him and always praised him. This stroked his ego a lot.

He was especially impressed at your reaction to his puppets. You’d let out the loudest squeal he’d ever heard and hadn’t even realized it was a puppet. You reminded him of when he was young, and it made him get closer to you.

Itachi had just accepted your presence, although your age shocked him a bit. He was technically considered young himself when he had joined the Akatsuki, and besides he'd seen much worse.

At first, he didn't know how to interact with you but introductions were said and done with Pain's assignment for him. Itachi was to be your actual babysitter, he got you ready for meals, helped dress you, and more.

Pain knew out of everyone here Itachi was kind with kids and knew how to be responsible. Which is why Itachi is your Nanny, always reminding you of naps, rest, and shower time.

It was a bit debated whether it would be Konan or Itachi but Konan was normally rather busy and Itachi had swore to Tobi no harm would come to you. He wasn't one to break promises either. Itachi tried to not become attached to you emotionally but clearly failed. He didn't want to lose another person, or worst comes to worst, be the one to take out that said person. He wasn't an idiot, he knew you were an Uchiha from the moment he laid eyes on you. It was the most shocking of all in your first meeting. He couldn't help feeling grateful in the end however, to know that at least one person was spared from the massacre. This was soon combined with a feeling of guilt though as he knew you were entangled in much more now, he vowed he'd protect you if he could, just like Sasuke.

Eventually, you had come to love Itachi just like a brother, he gave you a sense of familiarity and was super gentle. The same could be said for Itachi, who now saw Sasuke in you.

Kisame was quite amused when you'd joined the Akatsuki. Wouldn't it be rather fun for people to hear of this? Well, either way he thought you'd be scared of him on your first meeting.

Turns out you weren't in the least, you were really curious about him too. When you'd first met your hands had touched his face all over, but what made you love him the most was how high he could lift you.

This was when Kisame first learned just how much kids loved to be tossed around (gently) and he always made sure to lower his strength around you. He actually was quite entertained with you, not as bored as he’d thought.

He was assigned to be your swim teacher, expected really. He began teaching you right away and quickly caught onto your fear of the deep water. Not to fear though because Tobi was there watching your first couple lessons and Kisame controlled the waters to prevent any harm.

He did his best to make the waters seem calm and fun. Whenever he could he’d take you to the beach or a lake. Sometimes Itachi would even tag along with you two as he watched Kisame swim out with you.

Kisame felt proud knowing you were learning quickly. He had bragged about it once to Hidan and Deidara too. They had called him soft towards you but it wasn’t necessarily a lie.

Konan lastly, was your Language/Biology teacher, she came around more often after you came into the equation. You were so adorable in her eyes and she loved whenever you’d run into her arms.

Konan loved your squishy chubby cheeks, most of all your cute voice when you called her name. She was assigned as your biology teacher for obvious reasons. Although this is a more later role she would help you through puberty and such.

She was also your language teacher, helping you learn the characters and to read. Enjoying the fun moment she’d have with you on her lap reading along. You were a kind presence in her world, a reminder of what she hopes to work towards.

Konan is happy to take care of you and you view her much like an older sister. She teaches you so much, and is a very encouraging person. Helping you gain new experiences and also protecting you as much as she can.

© 2023 by Hinakazino, do not translate/edit/claim or use my work in any form.

[thatfandomslut]

One Last Time

Regina George x Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Trigger Warnings:

Requests:

Valentine's / Followers Celebration; Regina George w/ quote 50 and piece of chocolate number 2. Or: “I am here and I am looking at her. And she is so beautiful. I can see it. This one moment when you know you’re not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder.” w/ angst

Valentine's / Followers Celebration requests are closed.

Regina and (Y/n) had a very deep conversation about college. They decided that when they went, it would be best to terminate their relationship. It wasn't the conclusion either of them wanted, but they couldn't see a way around it. Instead, they explored a summer together that they would never share again. Now, here they were in (Y/n)'s driveway, leaning on her car for one last time, wondering how they were going to cope whenever (Y/n) would be forced to drive away. They had thirty more minutes and they were both a mess. Still, they continued to keep a strong front to not convince themselves that they could make what wouldn't work, work.

"So, are you ready for the semester?" Regina tried to initiate small talk. They both despised small talk, but it was something that they were going to have to get over as they were running out of things to say. They wanted to beg each other to reconsider, but they knew that wouldn't be healthy, Instead, Regina waited patiently for (Y/n) to answer after she was done snorting out a bitter laugh since they were both becoming increasingly aware that the end of their relationship was coming. Though they were desperately trying to grasp onto the final half hour they had left.

(Y/n)'s hand twitched in Regina's finally lacing their fingers together in thought. "I guess, you could say that." She muttered, not feeling ready at all. How could she be ready to conquer university without Regina George by her side? They had been glued to each other's hips since kindergarten, but now they were being ripped away by some cruel sense of fate that they were not fully prepared for. Neither of them processed the fact that their parents would be right, they were going to regret praying and manifesting growing up. Now that it was occurring and that they were going to be separated, they were wishing for a second chance to relive their last couple years of childhood when they got together.

Regina hummed softly, blinking away whatever tears were threatening to roll down her cheek. She refused to cry whenever she promised herself not to. She had to clear her throat to avoid her voice from cracking as she looked over at (Y/n). "You're going to do great. Plus, at least you'll have Cady, right?" Regina was bitter and jealous over the fact that she and Cady got accepted into the same school. Of course, this was partially her fault, too. After all, she could've also applied to attend the same school they did, but instead, she applied for her dream university and would be attending there in the spring instead. She just wished they shared the same dream as they always previously had.

(Y/n) glanced over at Regina, sensing her sarcasm over Cady all too well. In the spirit of ending their time together on good terms, she ignored the comment. "I guess you're right. At least I'll have Cady. However, I'm going to be more dependent on our weekly FaceTimes." (Y/n) confessed, hoping that she wasn't overstepping a boundary by being honest. In truth, she wished that they hadn't reached this conclusion, but she knew that when Regina suggested it, that she was right. High school relationships didn't last. She didn't know why she thought her relationship would be any different than the thousands of other couples that attempted to make it. Still, although it was wishful thinking, she wished Regina could see that they could outlive college together the way she did.

On the opposite side of things, Regina wished that (Y/n) hadn't been so quick to accept her suggestion. Now, she was forced to pretend that she didn't regret suggesting it in the first place. "I'm going to be just as dependent on those as you are. I'm going to miss you a lot." Regina looked down at the time. They had five more minutes together. She wished more than anything that she could put a freeze frame on the time they were spending together. She hated that it felt like their time was ending in just seconds. When she processed what little time they had, Regina's fingers tightened against (Y/n)'s. Neither pulled away, despite the deadly grip. They just kept each other close.

"I'm going to miss you, too, Regina. More than anything." (Y/n) swallowed the sob that was creating a horrendous lump in the back of her throat. She was mentally begging herself not to cry as her mom came out to let her know that she needed to go now. Her mom was right, but (Y/n) found herself cursing her over the fact. Regina almost winced at the feeling of (Y/n)'s hands falling from hers, but she smiled a bit when her hands were soon on her cheeks, pulling her in for a deep kiss. "I love you, Regina. Please know that I love you."

Regina forced herself not to break down right then and there. Instead, she allowed (Y/n) to pull away and get in her car. Before the car door shut, (Y/n) smiled a bit as she heard Regina speak. "I'm not going to say goodbye, but I will say that I'll see you later. Be good in college, loser. I love you, too, always." (Y/n) then proceeded to back out as she went to go pick up Cady from her house. They were going together. This made Regina seethe on the inside because she was envious that not only were they attending together but they were dormmates. She had told (Y/n) that the fates couldn't be crueler to her. A thought that caused (Y/n) to laugh softly as she wiped the tears that were falling down her cheek, burning her skin.

(Y/n) helped Cady pile in her things once she got there. As they were leaving, Cady watched them leave her home. "It's crazy leaving here." She spoke softly, obviously sad in her way. "How did it go with Regina?" (Y/n) knew that the strawberry blonde didn't mean anything by her question, but it unintentionally made her cringe as she focused a bit harder on the road. Still, she didn't want to continue this car ride with Cady thinking she crossed a line, even if she accidentally did. So, instead, she took some time to process her feelings on the subject.

"A lot was going through my mind as we leaned against my car. Like… I am here and I am looking at her. And she is so beautiful. I can see it. This one moment when you know you’re not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. Despite our sad ending, we are not a sad story. I'll always love her." And there it was, the familiar lump in her throat that she had to swallow. She refused to cry and drive. She refused to cry in front of Cady. She knew they were friends and they were going to have to get vulnerable together eventually, but it didn't need to be now. Right now, she just wanted to get the focus off of her and Regina. "Let's get something to eat before we get too far."

Cady nodded softly, getting comfortable as they looked for somewhere to eat. The rest of the drive was quiet as (Y/n) felt her fingers twitching constantly to call Regina. But, for a moment, she needed to just drive and focus on the next chapter in her life. She just wished Regina was in all of those chapters.

[allyriadayne]

i've been getting a lot of comments on my post about how the writers have "ruined" jace and rhaenyra's relationship. but. my guys. it's never been a good or healthy relationship anyway! or at least it hasn't been for the past six years since jace found out he wasn't laenor's son. this hasn't happened to me but i can imagine it's difficult to have a truly good relationship with someone who has lied to you from the start and who /to this day/ still doesn't dare admit the truth. it's not a lie to say rhaenyra and jace love each other but it's not a lie either to say rhaenyra doesn't respect jace and is unable to put himself in his shoes, while jace resents her and is just now realizing she has more than a bit of guilt on all that has been tormenting him.

they both have put an opaque screen in front of them and through it they've been interacting and seeing each other since harwin died. jace's just barely realizing he has one and it's cleaning the glass while rhaenyra has known it since the beginning and doesn't wish it to go away. it's a really complex relationship but to say it's only /now/ that's been ruined when in most of their interactions rhaenyra is shutting him down or gaslighting the hell out of him......... sorry i just don't see it.

[kirain]

what do you think of this post about Gale? I saw it today and idk how to feel about it. h t t p s : // www. tumblr. com / galahadwilder / 741497332636467200

I couldn't disagree with it more, to be honest.

First of all, and I can't stress this enough, Mystra doesn't care about her followers. She cares about the state of the Weave and nothing more. If her followers don't worship her, if they're not useful to her, if they don't serve her purpose, they mean nothing to her. After she abandoned Gale, she had no interest in him until she realised she could use him to stop the Absolute—and she only wanted to stop the Absolute because it threatened the Weave. In general, Mystra doesn't care what people use magic for either, be it the most admirable heroics or the most depraved insanity you can imagine.

Case and point: Lorroakan. He is an arrogant wizard, far worse than Gale could ever hope to be, who uses magic for pure evil. When he beat Rolan, he undoubtedly used magic to do it. Do you think Mystra cared? Nope. You can help that nutjob achieve his goals, kill a demigod, turn him immortal, and give him free reign to abuse magic any way he wishes, but do you think Mystra cares? Nope. She doesn't. She doesn't care about people unless they benefit her. In fact, all three iterations of Mystra have a vast history of grooming, flat out 🍇, and the forced impregnation of unsuspecting mortal women. Despite being neutral good, Mystra is and has always been extremely vain, selfish, jealous, and problematic.

With that in mind, I'd like to break this post down piece by piece. Also, please be aware that when I use the word "you", I don't mean you specifically, anon. I'm more so addressing anyone who might be reading.

PS: Please no one harass this person's post. Their opinion is their own, and it's very respectful. At the end of the day, we're just talking about a video game.

Mystra didn't tell Gale not to juggle the torches. She didn't even tell him it was a torch. She let him go on believing it was a part of her missing Weave. Had she told him the truth, he would've stayed away. That's why he's so shocked in Act 3, when she finally reveals it's the Karsite Weave. He had no idea, and she likely never intended to tell him. She didn't before he went off in search of it, and she didn't the entire time he was locked away in his tower, scared and suffering. I can't for the life of me figure out why she wouldn't warn him, but I can only assume it's because she expected absolute obedience, or because she was getting bored of him and wanted him to mess up.

Whatever her reasons, she didn't tell Gale to leave the orb alone because he was "worthy" already. He clearly wasn't in her eyes, because he wanted her to see him as an equal. He wanted her to share her knowledge with him, which is perfectly fair in a healthy relationship. If you're dating a god and they treat you like a worshipper—that's all you are to them. A worshipper. A plaything. You're beneath them. You're unworthy. She told Gale to leave the orb alone because she wanted him to be complacent. She wanted to keep him in servitude. That's what she wants from all of her followers, though it's even worse when it's her lover.

In almost every story where a mortal loves a god, the mortal is either ascended into the heavens or the god gives up their divinity. And this isn't even specific to gods, but also vampires, werewolves, elves, and so on. Arwen, for example, gives up her immortality to be with Aragorn. Bella becomes a vampire to be with Edward. Hercules gives up his divinity to be with Meg. Elisa Esposito becomes aquatic to be with the creature. These are common tropes because it makes the couples equal.

Mystra contradicts herself by saying Gale was "always worthy", because her actions don't reflect it. He was a worthy distraction from her job, sure, but not worthy enough for her to treat him like an equal. So in order to prove it to her, to prove his love and devotion, he went after the one thing he knew she wanted—her missing Weave. Yes, she told him not to, and I agree he should've respected that, but this is on par with a woman telling her husband not to buy a bracelet she really, really wants because it's too expensive. If your husband worked extra hours and saved up enough to buy you that bracelet, would you divorce him?

Gale was completely unaware of the danger. He basically thought he was getting Mystra a bracelet. Had she taken the time to explain it to him, the whole catastrophe could have been avoided. He was just a hopeless romantic who wanted to surprise his girlfriend and prove he belonged at her side. The same girlfriend who very well could have made him her equal and shared her knowledge, but chose not to. Why? Because she's selfish. She didn't want an equal, she wanted a servant. We know this because, if you romance and ascend Gale, he will ascend you alongside him and give you your own domain! Mystra had the power to do this, or at least the ability to slowly ease him into it, but she refused. No matter how much he pleaded and proved his devotion to her, she refused.

Mystra did not save Gale when the orb embedded itself in his chest. He survived only because it fed on his gifts. He says as much, and so does she when you go to see her at the Temple. That's why, when we first meet him, he admits he used to be better at magic. He was once exceedingly powerful, but the orb basically knocked him down to level one. Mystra was perfectly happy to let him scramble to find items to absorb, knowing that he would inevitably run out and erupt. When we give him his third item in Act 1, the orb is becoming quenchless, and he knows his time is nigh. Mystra has nothing to do with satiating the orb until Act 2 and 3, and only because he becomes her wild card.

Gale: Mystra will consider forgiveness?

Elminster: She will consider ... what she considers to be forgiveness.

Even Elminster, her most faithful Chosen, knows her "forgiveness" isn't really forgiveness. It's an ultimatum. Do this for me and be welcomed into my hall, or die and literally go to hell. Why would Mystra make this offer? Well, because why else would Gale agree to kill himself only to end up in the Wall of the Faithless? How would that motivate him? Mystra didn't make this offer out of the kindness of her heart, she made it because she was desperate. Had the opportunity never presented itself, she would've let him die and suffer for all eternity, and possibly take hundreds of innocent people with him in the blast. She. Doesn't. Care. 🤷‍♀️

Now, one could argue Gale was asking for too much, but I'm going to have to call bullshit on that. First of all, Mystra showed him things no mortal has ever seen. It's only fair he'd want to share her world and learn as much as possible. Imagine if the Doctor from Doctor Who picked up some random people and took them on breathtaking adventures, but the audience got mad at them for wanting to see as much as they could. Amy, Clara, Rose, etc.—none of them could live a normal life after meeting him, and they wanted to learn as much about the universe as possible. But everyone loves those characters. They don't get mad. There's even several episodes where the companions call the Doctor out for not treating them as equals, and he admits he's wrong for doing that and adjusts his way of thinking.

I would argue that the only real divide between Mystra and Shar/Vlaakith is that Mystra doesn't inflict physical pain ... most of the time. That's it. Vlaakith and Shar only care about themselves and the effectiveness of their followers, but the exact same applies to Mystra. She is the Weave, and she only cares about the Weave; therefore, she only cares about herself. She had ample opportunity to help Gale or tell him the truth, but she didn't until it was convenient for her. The gods of D&D are basically the Greek Pantheon gods—a bunch of assholes toying with mortals, regardless of their alignment. The odd one is decent, but most are only out for themselves and their rule. Now, I will concur that Mystra is hardly the worst deity (in fact, she's unfortunately one of the better ones), but she's still not great and Gale is her victim.

To get a little controversial, I think the writers made a mistake. I know what they were going for, but I think they lost it along the way. At first, I was ready to stand with everyone and admit he belonged in the quintessential "overreaching wizard full of hubris" category, but upon researching the lore, getting to know Gale better, and doing several different playthroughs, I've come to vehemently disagree. First of all, before 5E (the current D&D edition), becoming a god was the ultimate goal for a lot of players, and that was perfectly acceptable, with many DMs providing celestial paths to make it possible. Moreover, many of the current gods were once human themselves, including Mystra!

Second, it's only hubris if you fail. Gale can ascend. He can succeed. Although it's not the canon outcome I would choose for him, he is right about the crown. He does his research and figures out how to reforge it. And he doesn't seek godhood to be worshipped, he seeks it to either free himself (and all mortals) from Mystra's chains, or for her to acknowledge and love him as an equal. His arrogance stems from insecurity; an insecurity Mystra herself planted and cultivated, and in the end he's not really arrogant atfter all. Does him wanting to be Mystra's equal make him selfish? Well, I suppose that depends on how you answer these questions:

Is your partner equal to you? If you don't think so, why are you leading them on? Why wouldn't you take steps to help them become your equal? Why are you holding them back instead of propping them up? If they show interest in your life, in your world, in the things you can do, why would you keep it to yourself, especially when you have the time and resources to share it?

Just some ambrosia for thought. 😉

[rosesloveletters]

all is fair in love.

Pairing: 1971 Willy Wonka x Fem. Reader

Word Count: 10,261

Warnings: sexual content / smut.

Summary: The holidays are Wonka's busiest season and his work keeps him away from reader much more than either of them would like. After hours, the two spend a passionate night together as they both make the necessary arrangements to be attentive to each other's needs and empathetic of the complexity of maintaining a healthy romantic relationship that neither reader nor Wonka are accustomed to.

Author's Note: my smut fics are always between 6-10k haha so enjoy. I edited this the best I could, but for some reason I kept switching between first person and second person pov for reader (I don't know why since I always write in second person pov.) I think I fixed most of it, so if there's any parts I missed, I'm sorry. Also, I'd like to mention that Christmas isn't inherently important to the events in this story. It is used as an element only to convey why Wonka is so busy during this time of year, because most people like to buy chocolate and candy as gifts. I know Gene was Jewish, even though I believe he said he wasn't exactly religious. I have no intention of trying to be offensive/belittle/make light of anyone's religion or beliefs and I apologize if it comes across that way because it is without a doubt not my intention. 

Edited.

divider created by @/saradika on Tumblr.

You’ve always believed that if you truly love someone, then you keep it a secret. 

You would let that feeling freeze me down to the core – to love the way a person is meant to, but it is that same love that, inevitably and irrevocably, suffocates. 

You cannot satisfy that craving the same way one might satisfy a sweet tooth. Once given a taste, it seeps down into your skin, infecting both body and mind, pierces the heart and tears it wide open. 

The thundering beat inside your chest cannot be silenced. The fingertips of fate trace the spider-like, lightning-strike veins that split your heart right down the middle. 

A broken heart takes love like a beating.

It all comes boiling to the surface, bubbling up and out in the breath of a second.

The truth always comes out, one way or another. 

Because if you don’t let the heart have its’ way, then it will tear itself right out of your chest.

***

The days were short, but the hours were long. 

You spent much of your time by yourself, as this season kept Willy preoccupied. Time marched onward and the weeks themselves seemed to drag; it was nearing Christmastime and that meant very little to you in the grand scheme of things, except that you’d be seeing less and less of your lover. 

Traditionally, the holidays were a time of celebration and joy, gifts and laughter shared between friends and families alike. 

However, you lived a nontraditional life now, and Willy had unwittingly shown you that the life of a chocolatier was a solitary one. You knew that the busy holiday season was what pulled him away, but his lack of attentiveness made you wonder…

The only thing that kept these thoughts at bay was the way in which he looked at you when he was around. 

Willy was a difficult man to read. Whether that was intentional or not, were you still trying to determine. The only dead giveaway were his eyes – startlingly intense and piercingly blue – that bore no resemblance to subtlety. 

The vastness of the heavens, it seemed, were contained within those swirling galaxies. On dark nights when the cloud cover was too thick, you traced the constellations in his eyes to guide you into his morning light. 

You could see yourself peeling back the layers of his heart to get to the source of how he truly felt.

Deflect from it all he might – “I’m a trifle deaf in this ear. Speak a little louder next time–” you saw right through him and sometimes that only made him steer clear of you for longer. 

It wasn’t that he did not care for you; it was quite the opposite. Perhaps the extent to which he cared was a bit overwhelming for him at times. He immersed himself in his work during these times, else his mind inevitably carried him to places he would rather not visit. 

Willy Wonka’s mind was not a place any person, sometimes even himself, should ever go without a guide or a distinct way back. 

Though anyone with half a brain could tell that the amazing chocolatier was a troubled man on occasion, his true nature shone through in his creations. Something about this season’s batch of chocolate was a touch sweeter than ones previous. It would go undetected by those who did not have a refined palate, but like the saying goes, a true artist would put their blood, sweat and tears into their work and Willy Wonka was a mastermind. 

He knew exactly what he was doing and what he meant to convey, if only between himself and one other: the world’s most famous chocolatier was in love.

***

You sat on the plush sofa in the personal wing of the factory, a book in one hand and a mug of hot chocolate in the other. You were nestled beneath a thick-knit, purple blanket as you read and waited on Willy to return to your den for the night. 

You saw less and less of him the closer it got to the holidays, but such was the nature of his business. Christmastime was one of the busiest seasons and the one in which he made most of his money (the second being Valentine’s Day.) People bought exorbitant amounts of candies and chocolate during the holidays and so Willy was forced to expedite production (though never sacrificing quality) and work long, difficult hours preparing new and exciting treats for the public. In fact, it was no well-kept secret that Willy Wonka unveiled his newest creations around this time of year and that very news was plastered in every newspaper, magazine and bulletin across the world as people anticipated the exciting, brand-new sweets there would be to try. 

You knew the excitement and rush of the season fed into Willy’s own excitement over his work. He was thrilled to be working on new ideas and expressing himself through his creativity and imagination. It meant the world to him and so you did your best to stay out of the way. You did not want to make the situation about you and, after all, he always made it up to you.

 He was aware that his absence bothered you and he tried not to think about the fact that he may or may not be doing irreparable damage to your relationship. 

Not every difficult time or situation was an attack against you. It wasn’t personal, nor was it anyone’s explicit fault. Willy had a factory to run, Oompa-Loompas to manage and ideas to manifest into reality. Sometimes, your relationship would take a backseat and if you were serious about being with him, then you would have to be alright with that and you were, although that did not mean that it didn’t hurt from time to time. 

It would have been nice to relax and enjoy the season with your lover without his work getting in the way. You would have loved to curl up with him, sitting at opposite ends of the couch and enjoying lots of hot chocolate and hours of warm conversation. If you had your pick, you’d gladly have him here with you now, trading the book in your hands for his warm body, his fingers linked perfectly into the spaces between yours. 

You reasoned that this was just how things would have to be for now. No sense in adding more pressure on him by complaining. He was aware of how you felt, but sadly there was nothing to be done about it. You never would have dreamed of asking him to pick between his work and you. That would not have been fair or right. You could handle this, for now, but deep down you missed him terribly. 

Even if you chose to spend time with him inside the factory part of the building, he would be working the whole time. There simply was no time for much of anything else. He did like when you would drop by because you were his faithful little taste-tester. Better to try it out on you before selling it to the masses – that would seem cruel, knowing that his candies have had certain negative effects on people in the past, but rest assured, Willy had never given you anything that might harm you. 

Any candy which made its way to you had been tested and re-tested to perfection before it ever passed between your lips. 

He wanted feedback on his candy before it left the factory and you were more than happy to offer it to him, to which he was enthusiastically grateful. The only problem was, true to inventor fashion, he asked for feedback on everything. He wanted your opinion and was asking for it increasingly often these days. When you didn’t show up to the inventing room on certain days, he’d bring a whole box back to your shared living space and eagerly watch you with anticipation of your positive remarks as you were asked to try every piece. 

He was always so grateful to you for that and, honestly, you didn’t mind. You liked candy and chocolate, so there was no reason you couldn’t afford him this act of kindness.

The only thing you really felt like you were missing was him and it plagued your mind most often while you were alone, which was of course very often. You kept yourself busy and occupied your thoughts with other things as much as you were able, but when you settled in for the night, your loneliness crept in and took up the space beside you that would have otherwise been occupied by your beloved chocolatier.

You didn’t mind your alone time, but too much of it was not ideal. 

Too much of a good thing came with a price and now it seemed you were paying it with interest. 

The sound of a door opening and shutting pulled you from your thoughts. You glanced down at your book to realize you’d just had it propped open against your knees this whole time and hadn’t read a bit. You marked your place and closed it with a huff, setting it down on the end table beside you, your mug of half-drank cocoa with it. 

A quick glance at the clock hanging on the wall – thank God he hadn’t cut that one in half – showed that it was ten minutes after midnight. 

It did not come as a surprise that Willy was so late. It was only your wildest guess as to what he had been working on, but that point was moot. You did not really care what he was working on. 

That thought seemed harsh and you frowned; no, you were adamantly against resenting him for his work. That path was one you would not let yourself go down, a trap of codependence, you told yourself, but why couldn’t he just be a little more present with you? Surely it wasn’t too much to ask. 

Perhaps you would ask. 

It would make the most sense to be upfront with him about how you were feeling and to be as direct as possible. 

You did not move from the couch. You waited on Willy to come and find you, unlike the many days and nights when you might have greeted him at the door. 

Several quiet moments passed between yourself and your thoughts before Willy entered the room. He had shed his purple coat at the door, as well as his hat and cane, “there you are, my dear,” his gentle tone made your stomach clench as warmth pooled in your abdomen. Even troubled with doubts, you were still delighted to see him.

You watched as he approached and dropped himself on the opposite end of the couch. He nudged your knee with his, silently asking for a bit more space which you politely gave, “I would have been back sooner, but I’ve been so busy, as I’m sure you’re aware.”

“Yes, it is that time of year,” you replied coolly. You didn’t want to jump into the meat of the discussion too soon, otherwise he might take offense where there was none. 

He seemed in a good enough mood that perhaps this would be the perfect time to strike. 

“Yes, my dear, it’s the holiday season which does wonders for my business and I couldn’t be happier.”

His pride in the work he was doing warmed your heart. You listened to him for a while as he recounted what he had been working on that day. 

He cared so much and spoke so passionately, yet your mind began to wander.

“Is everything alright, my dear?”

His tender voice captured your attention and you blinked slowly, “yes, I’m fine. But, there is something I would like to talk to you about.” 

His lips hitched into a faint smile, then flattened into a serious line. It bothered you, not being able to read his face.

“There is? Well, you know that you can always talk to me about anything on your mind.”

You didn’t want to overwhelm him, not when he was already so fully immersed within his work. He needed time and space to focus. He did not need you hindering his creative flow by hanging all over him and demanding more attention. He already gave so much; how could you even dare to think that he owed you more?

“I know you’re busy this time of year, but do you think it would be possible for us to spend a little more time together?” My voice cracked as I added, “I…really miss you, Willy.” 

You hadn’t meant to speak with words that were laced with such pain, but in fairness you did miss him terribly. By the time he made his way to you most nights, you were already in bed or heading there and in the mornings before you’d woken up, he would be gone. It bothered you to not see him and you wanted him to hear it. He needed to know the truth if you meant to be honest with him, you only hoped he’d be able to understand that you didn’t blame him. 

Conversations like this always made you second guess yourself. 

By this point, you realized that he had not responded. He was probably just thinking about what he would say, but usually it didn’t take him this long to reply. 

“Willy?” you gently urged him, reaching out to place your hand on his arm. 

Whenever he felt the gentle graze of your fingertips against the fabric of his shirt, he glanced down, admiring the tender touch with a wistful smile on his face before he looked up at you and the emotion held inside of those ice-blue eyes was almost enough to send you over the edge and into uncontrollable sobs of relief. 

You felt the tension in your shoulders beginning to dissipate. Good, he felt the same way. 

He was still staring at you like there was something more on his mind. That was the way things were with Wonka and you’d be lying to yourself if you hadn’t thought on more than one occasion that it’s a good thing you weren’t a mind reader because there were things that went on inside his head that should stay there. It was better that you didn’t try to trace his Machiavellian ways or make sense of the enigmatic man who so frequently surprised you with small glimpses into how he really thought and viewed the world. It was fun getting to know who he was, but the true wonderment was in not knowing him at all. 

He tested your mind and all your senses, but never pushed your boundaries. He could knock you off your stride in seconds, then act as if nothing had happened. You were playing his little chess game and he was already three or more moves ahead. It had only been a matter of time before you had fallen into his hands like this. 

Things were as they were because Wonka wanted them to be. His quips and wisecracks often went over people’s heads, especially because of how well-versed he was in literature and culture. He could make the whole world fall in love with him at once, then forget him as soon as they were no longer in his presence, but you believed the world adored him much more than he liked to think it did. 

“I didn’t say anything sooner because I didn’t want it to seem like I was being insensitive, since I know you’re not intentionally ignoring me.” 

This statement made him smile for some reason, “where love is great, the littlest doubts are fear; where little fears grow great, great love grows there.” (William Shakespeare, Hamlet.)

At first, you didn’t know what to say. You had a bit of trouble discerning what he meant sometimes, missing the larger picture for deciding why he chose a specific quote at a specific time. 

Seeming to read your thoughts, he let out a polite chuckle, “This is to say, even in love do the smallest doubts scare you, but when you are afraid of such little things, you are still in love, too.”

His explanation seemed to help, if only for a second. 

It was true that you had your doubts, but those doubts only stemmed from love. That fear which grew inside of you had taken root, but when enough time had passed, it was the love which had bloomed from it. 

Both the fear and love would come with a connection as strong as this one.

In the beginning, Willy had never dreamed of having a romantic partner. His solitary lifestyle simply lacked the means necessary to cultivate a long-term relationship. He had never desired romance or human connection of any kind. He had his factory and the Oompa-Loompas to look after; he was stretched thin as it was.

It was with sickening rapture that he sought the reason for why his heart seemed so content within your hands. He had to know the true meaning behind what he felt, even if he had to wade out in to the wild, dark depths up to his neck. He was barely treading water, sinking still, feet kicking desperately and hands reaching, clawing for purchase but there was nothing for him to grab onto. No way to steady himself as his soul careened toward what he had been running from for so long, a runaway train on the track towards trust and away from self-preservation. 

At first, you wanted to be the one in control. You had your fair share of demons and setting the pace for the relationship yourself was very important to you, but neither of you wanted to go too far too fast. 

You became acclimated to his world quite quickly. 

You just seemed to fit right in and, with time, Wonka found himself closer to you than he had ever been with another person. 

The two of you had been together for quite some time now and the red string of fate binding your hearts together was pulled taut. 

It seemed that you both knew you were in the right hands and the love that grew here was stronger than any fears or doubts which gripped you. 

“What scares me the most is that you’re pulling away from me,” you confessed to him, and that revelation made his eyes widen perceptibly, “sometimes I think you don’t even realize that you’re doing it.”

The conversation had shifted and Wonka realized that you were no longer just discussing his absence in light of the holidays. There was deeper emotion and meaning laced within what you were saying to him now. 

He was used to being alone, as were you. The only difference was that while you had never lost hope that the right person might come along, he had done everything he could to close himself off. His heart was a precious thing and that was what the world had been after. Yes, he had closed his factory because of theft, but he put his whole heart into his work and, if anyone were to steal his heart, then there would be nothing left for the one whom it belonged to. 

He made sure he guarded his heart all these years, even if he didn’t know the reason for it. It was easier to deny the very fact that love was something every person desires, even ones who have become so layered and complex that it would be difficult to imagine what a true love might look like for them. 

Wonka was not afraid of anything. 

However, if one thing made him apprehensive it was the idea of anyone finding him out. 

Not that there was any chance of that; no one was able to think quite like him. But if anyone came close, that meant he’d cling to them forever, holding on for dear love. 

His gaze shifted down to your hands that were folded in your lap and reached for one. Long, delicate fingers gently wrapping around your right hand as he brought it to his mouth. 

A kiss for each finger, you counted, one two three four five…

Then, his lips made contact with your inner wrist. The sudden and unexpected brush of lips against your sensitive skin made your breath hitch.

“I promise to be more attentive,” he whispered on your skin, his hot breath tickling the inner area of your wrist, “the only one pulling me anywhere is you and I am only moving forward.” 

“You’ve got to go forwards to go back.”

He had believed that, in more ways than just one, in relation to his factory and to people, but there was no going back now. Even if that were an opinion, he wouldn’t have wanted to.

Within half a second, he dropped your hand and tilted his head, leaned in close and pressed his warm lips to yours in the most sensual, tender kiss your lips had ever known.

Your heart fluttered in your chest like butterfly wings beating against your ribcage, desperate to free itself and get to his. Your soul sought the kind of connection that your mouths were getting and jealousy was an understatement. 

If this was his way of making it up to you, then let it be known that you wanted nothing else for Christmas this year than a clear mind and the taste of your lover left over on your cupid’s bow. 

It was all electric, body and soul alight, glistening brighter than fairy lights strung up for the season. 

He tasted sweeter than his own candy and you smiled into the kiss at the very thought. He ate a lot of his own sweets, if only to test the taste, and you couldn’t help but enjoy the sugared kisses, your sweet tooth craving satisfied only by his honeyed lips. 

Somewhere in the haze you found the opportunity to grip handfuls of his tawny tresses, fingers digging into the soft curls that drove your heart mad with desire. You loved his hair and so infrequently did he let you touch or comb it. It was about as unruly as he was, wild, untamed and free, just like the man it belonged to. 

Your gentle tugging on his hair elicited a soft grunt from him and his lips attacked yours more feverishly, taking on a more aggressive quality now that you had accepted and encouraged him. 

There was no rhyme or reason for anything that occurred while you were with him, except what was happening now.

Wonka did everything on a whim. Sleeping, eating, working…no schedule, no routine, no nonsense. 

“A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.”

Perhaps the most nonsensical thing that had ever happened in Wonka’s factory was your fear that he might leave you. 

Strike that. Don’t reverse it. 

You didn’t want anything to change. There were more twists and turns in this man’s head than there were in his factory and you had lost yourself trying to find your way out. You never left his mind, not once. Even while he worked or spent time alone, you were in his thoughts, whether it was subconscious or not. 

Your own mind didn’t register your movement as you crawled closer and sought out more of his sugary sweetness which was more potent than any nectar of the gods. Your lips devoured his, tasting every inch of the same mouth that poured prose and poetry into your ear each night that you laid with him.

He hummed pleasantly against your lips. His gentle sounds teased you; so rare was it that he ever made a sound during these moments of intimacy. Oh, how you tried, and your futile attempts filled him with great satisfaction. He had more discipline than you ever imagined; living alone for so many years without the warmth of another had taught him to go without, but desperation clung to his bones and manifested through each fervent, heated kiss. 

Willy wouldn’t have described himself as needy, but he appreciated physical intimacy when it occurred and sometimes it was as necessary as any other proper communication. He wanted more than a quick romp; he craved human connection. It was completely unfounded for someone like him to want to share a connection with anyone, but here he was asking for it with his mouth on yours and your reciprocation of that same need meant everything to him. 

You tested the waters, grazing your teeth along his bottom lip to determine how far he might be willing to go. He didn’t stop you. His lips simply parted, allowing entry of your tongue. 

The only sound he made was a little gasp, which you swallowed as your tongue delved in to taste the inside of his mouth. Your hands were still holding the sides of his head, fingers buried deep within his unruly curls. 

He helped maneuver your body closer to his, unabashedly bringing you to sit on his lap. As you settled on top of him, one of his large hands moved down to the small of your back and held you firmly in place. 

You could feel the heat of his hand through your shirt. You had no grasp of how long the two of you continued to kiss like that. The passage of time, though a precious thing, was unimportant in the current moment. The only thing you demanded more of was him and you would greedily take all that he had to offer you. 

You were enchanted by him. He surprised you at every turn and, if it had been anyone else, you’d have questioned where you stood with them, but wasn’t that the point? The less anyone knew about Willy Wonka, the more exciting it felt to be in his presence. 

It was impossible to know whether the things he revealed about himself were true or not and there was beauty in that alone. If beauty was in the eye of the beholder, then he had the upper hand here.

You did not stop to see why his hand had suddenly been removed from your back, but any questions you might’ve wished to voice were answered when you noticed him reaching for one of the top buttons on his vest. 

The steady progression of events had led you here and you were too immersed within the moment to stop him, but you wouldn’t have wanted to anyway. You were entranced, enthralled, enraptured by the whole of him and his heart belonged to yours. 

The wet graze of your tongue against his cupid’s bow spurred him further, lips tangled tantalizingly with yours as his fingers worked open the buttons on his vest. 

The threshold had been breached. 

The moment was yours for the taking, if you wanted it and you knew that you did. 

Lost somewhere between drunk on lust and in love, you began to help him unbutton, starting at the bottom of his vest and continuing until your hands met in the middle of his chest. You followed this same pattern for both rows of buttons.

Coincidentally, this journey ended right above his heart, but another one was merely beginning. 

Your hands were shaking with anticipation as you looked up to notice him already gazing at you lovingly. A tender smile curved his lips like a crescent moon and the sunlight bleeding out through the cracks in your soul made the stars in his eyes sparkle. 

You cupped his cheek and pressed a gentle kiss onto the bridge of his nose. His arms encircled you, holding you flush against him and his shirtsleeves rode up on his forearms, exposing just a fraction of skin with a fine dusting of sand-colored hair. 

You let him hold you to him as his lips attached to your neck. You imagined when he pulled back that there would be an imprint of lips, a tattoo of his love painted across your collarbone, signifying that you belonged to him alone. 

You tilted your head to give him better access and he thanked you by delivering a loving nip to the column of your neck. 

You hadn’t forgotten your intention. 

With hands still shaking, you reached for his vest and pulled it open. His lips detached from your neck in an instant and long, elegant fingers wrapped around your wrist, effectively stopping you from undressing him. 

His eyes were crystalline pools of skylight, airy and substantially quantified by the depths within them. They had a mirror-like quality and you could see yourself reflected in them as you held his gaze for a heartbeat too long. 

“Only if…this is something that we both want��”

Willy’s words of brevity filled you with wonder. 

“If I’m being honest with you, Willy…I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something more than I want you now.” 

That single sentence melded with and fused into his soul. In a breath-to-breath admission of consent, your words had tied his tongue with cursive letters. 

He breathed a sigh of relief and held within that exhale was his own consent. You had granted him permission, assuring him that you were not offering yourself out of obligation or for complacency’s sake and that thrilled him perhaps as much as the act itself would. He felt the blood rush to his groin and he moved beneath you, shifting your body weight more onto his thigh. 

Willy nuzzled your cheek, dragging his nose along your soft skin. His arms had yet to unravel themselves from around you; he wanted to take his time. However, he was increasingly aware of his own sense of desperation. It had been some time since he had last gotten into bed with a lover. 

Actually, the last time he had gotten into bed with anyone was with you. 

Willy had a low sex drive, but on occasion it would crop up and remind him that he was, in fact, human and had needs, whether it was simple biology or heightened by the desire to connect with the one he loved. 

Whenever he thought of a lover and what had previously been just some nameless face at the forefront of his mind, that vision was now you. Yours was the love he sought; your hands were the ones meant to hold his heart. 

He let go of you and shrugged off his vest. 

Your lips captured his once again and he imagined this was what dreams tasted like. 

He went to stand up and you quickly took the hint and moved off his lap. He got up and began unbuttoning his white undershirt while you watched. He could see the fire burning in your irises, your pupils dilated with desire as you watched his delicate fingers pop open each button. 

You knew better than to rush him; a treat as sweet as him was meant to be savored. 

You took this opportunity to slip your own shirt off your body. With your skin exposed, his eyes traveled across your midsection and his fingers hesitated, fumbling the button he was on. His breath hitched and you swore you heard him whisper the word “beautiful” as he gazed upon you. 

Once he had recovered, the swiftness with which he finished removing his undershirt made your head spin. In his haste, he had forgotten to remove his bow tie and unbutton his sleeve cuffs, which made you giggle. He seemed flustered, his cheeks reddening once he realized, and perhaps this was the first time you had ever witnessed him with a blush on his cheeks. 

You reached out to help him and a soft chuckle dripped from his lips like maple syrup, “It would appear I’ve gotten a bit ahead of myself, my dear.”

You chuckled as well as his bow tie and undershirt were removed, “well, I’ll take it as a compliment…that you seem so eager to have me.”

Your words were spoken as if in jest, but his response was anything but. 

“Doubt truth to be a liar; but never doubt that I love,” he quoted, his smooth baritone steeping you in the tea of his desire. (William Shakespeare, Hamlet.)

It was enough to quiet your mind and when he said it, you felt your entire world get a little smaller. Your heightened senses had inflated your soul and carried you to the clouds. You were a runaway balloon stuck in a tree and his words were the hand that enclosed around your string. You had seen vast lands and known love in its many forms, but never until this moment had you felt so much in the presence of one. 

His heart knew yours better than it knew itself and the cracks left by heartbreak were filled in by your endless love for each other. 

You moved in to kiss him again and his hands cupped your warm cheeks. His breath tasted as sweet as the chocolate he made, which only made sense because of how often you saw him sampling it. He kept a bit in his coat that he’d pull out and nibble upon and often would you go sifting through his pockets for little treasures and treats that he had left over. Sometimes you found such delights that it had to have been no accident that they had been left behind. No, he knew your guilty pleasure was his chocolate and he made sure to satisfy your cravings, both for chocolate and for him, as often as possible.

Your tongue slipped inside his mouth and he finally graced your ears with a very delicate moan. 

His hands moved down the length of your arms to finally grab your hips. He pulled you in, your pelvis against his, and you could feel the hard press of his bulge against your thigh. 

While you kissed, he began to walk you backwards toward your shared bedroom. 

You could not have torn your lips apart to look where you were going even if you wanted to. 

You trusted him to get you there safely, perhaps more than you had ever trusted another person or at least you hadn’t trusted anyone this deeply in a very long time. Too many others had taken a hammer to your jawbreaker heart and smashed it to more manageably sized pieces, but once broken, it could never be put back together without its’ once-pristine surface now marred with jagged cracks. 

At least the breakage let the light of your soul pour out into his hands…

Willy was stained by your brokenness, his heart bruised the color of your trauma. 

He had been burned before, broken in a very real way, and therefore it was never a question of if you would trust him, but how much and when. He knew how long it could take a person to truly open up if they wanted to, but for you, he was willing to wait an eternity and then some. 

Time stood still and Willy had the presence of mind to remember how it felt to cradle your body to his when the only things that cemented your souls was an equal share of trust and love for one another and the mutual decision to take just one more chance. 

You sighed with relief when the backs of your knees connected with the mattress. 

Willy didn’t push you or press for more. His lips left yours in favor of your neck and several chaste yet sweet kisses were left along your collar bone as if his lips were asking for permission without the accompaniment of words. 

 In between you, you reached for his belt. 

He felt your fingers wrap around the waistband of his trousers and a gentle smirk crossed his features, “after something, are we?” 

His coy response made the tips of your ears get hot and you huffed, “well, it isn’t my fault that I’ve gone and gotten all excited…”

“I hope you’re not implying that it’s mine,” he replied as his smirk widened. 

“I wasn’t implying anything,” your time spent with him had sharpened your wit, “I’m saying it.”

His eyes shared in your mirth, twinkling with laughter at your response. He wrapped an arm around your lower back and pulled you in. With his cheek to yours, lips near your ear, he whispered, “shall we make use of your excitement, then, dear?”

You felt a shudder run down your spine as he spoke to you, the dulcet undertones of his honeyed voice pierced you like a knife through the delicate flesh of an orange. You wanted to sink your fingers into his heart and peel it apart to devour the pieces, sustaining yourself on his love. 

You nodded and he deemed it appropriate to continue. He gently pushed your hands from his belt and took on the task himself. He pulled it from the loops and laid it on the chair nearest to him. 

When he turned back to you, you were already removing your pants. He smiled to himself, stopping in his tracks to admire you as you undressed. He almost wanted to help you, but held himself back. Mutual trust came at a price and he would not want to overstep any unspoken boundaries. You had not explicitly told him not to help, but you hadn’t told him to do it either and so he decided it was best to let you indicate what you wanted from him and how comfortable you were with the situation. 

Neither you nor he were particularly trusting individuals. Your experiences with people who took advantage of others made you wary and skeptical, through no fault of your own. Maturity and wisdom came with age and while you had both grown and learned, you had built walls around yourselves both figuratively and literally, in Wonka’s case, to guard your hearts and protect them. 

Now, you were bearing your souls to each other.

It was an unlikely thing, but you were both ready. You had known Wonka for a long time now and you had no doubt that you and he were meant to be in each other’s lives. There was a reason that you were here. Even though you might have needed a bit of reassurance from time to time, it was never because you truly thought he might leave you. Giving word to that unreasonable fear set you free, because in your heart of hearts you realized that you were not afraid at all. 

You were lonely.

You had forced it down for years, but acknowledging it now was cathartic, because never again would you find yourself isolated like you had so many years before. 

Willy was no stranger to isolation either. Though he had reasons other than your own, he empathized. 

It was difficult, at times, for the two of you to find a rhythm. Both of you had been alone for so long that it took time to become acclimated to sharing your lives with each other, but in this moment you both knew that there was no person you would each rather share a life with than each other. 

Willy was never at risk of pulling away. He was simply learning how to love you. 

As soon as you pushed off your pants and stepped out of them, he was kissing you again. In a flourish of limbs and bare skin, you fell backwards onto the mattress with him. His hot lips descended over yours as his fingers linked into the spaces between your own. In all ways except for one, your two bodies were unified and, if either of you could help it, that would soon be remedied. 

The mattress dipped and shifted beneath your shared weight as Willy crawled on top of you. You held his hands for as long as you were capable of doing before you needed to feel him more solidly at your fingertips. You dropped his hand, grabbed his shoulder and dug in your nails to hear him hiss into your ear and nip at your neck. 

He couldn’t even finish undressing because you demanded every ounce of his attention. 

Your spirits were engaged in this battle of carnality and you had consumed him, corrupted his mind and possessed him body and soul, but all’s fair in love and war, both of which you had waged fervently on his senses. 

At risk of ruining the moment, he pulled away and got up to finish removing his trousers. Your chest heaved as you took a moment to catch your breath, propping yourself up on one arm. 

“And here I thought…we were just getting to the good part,” I quipped. A teasing smile bloomed on my face as he turned to look down at me. 

“And I thought you liked my kisses,” He replied without missing a beat. 

His lopsided grin made you giggle, but the sound of his zipper being pulled down tore your attention away from the witty banter. The fire of fierce need had begun to burn bright inside your belly once again after being extinguished to mere embers only seconds ago. 

You watched him kick off his trousers and make no move to pick them up.

He moved back down onto the bed and leaned into you. You met him halfway and pecked a chaste kiss onto his lips. Your bodies fit together like two immaculately chiseled sculptures whose delicate features appeared to be made of something much softer than stone. 

You knew what he wanted from you now and you felt goosebumps rising on your flesh as you anticipated his caress. 

He cupped your head, holding you to him as he lowered you back against the pillows. He liked to take charge of this part himself and you let him, despite the anxiety you felt at relinquishing control over yourself. You didn’t like feeling out of control, especially of your body and Willy knew this. He tried his best to make you feel comfortable and safe, never moving forward without verbal consent. 

“Shall I touch you, dear?” 

You reflected on his question before you nodded, swallowing thickly before you could make a sound, “yes.” 

You knew that he would check in with you frequently to make certain you still wished to continue. 

With your consent, his fingertips grazed the length of your arms. His warm touch sent pleasant shivers through you and you fought the urge to arch into him. He had a way of making you feel everything he wanted you to feel with just one touch. It was like magic, the control he had over your body and sometimes you wondered if his creative abilities branched into other realms as well. 

His hands slid down your sides, massaging your warm skin and admiring your supple curves, the angles and indentations of your hips. Before he traveled lower, Willy wanted to devote some appreciation to the rest of your body first. His hands moved to your back, working underneath you to swiftly unclip your bra. He had a way of doing things so fast that you barely had time to register what he was doing before it was done. Perhaps it didn’t seem possible, but impossibility did not exist where Willy Wonka came from; if there was a way to do the impossible, he had already figured it out and told no one. 

With your unclasped bra no longer pulled taut, he delicately pushed the straps off your shoulders and plucked the hindersome piece of fabric away from your chest. It dropped unceremoniously to the floor and his blue eyes glittered with mischief when he looked upon your exposed breasts. 

You wanted to cover them, but he held your arms at your sides. True to the creative genius he was, he had to admire beauty where and when he saw it and you were a masterpiece. His tight smile had relaxed as he gazed down at you beneath him and he practically cooed with appreciation for your form. 

“You’re very beautiful,” he whispered heatedly, like it was almost difficult for him to get the words out. He was overwhelmed with all his attention focused on the body before him. 

You wanted to thank him for the compliment, but all that came out was a soft squeak. 

He chuckled at your little sound and bent his head. He placed a firm kiss on your left breast and you sighed in pleasure at the gentle touch of his plush lips on your pillowy skin. His lips traced the curves of your breasts before encircling one of your nipples, suckling lightly as if it were a piece of candy. 

You mewled and arched into his mouth, desiring more from him and as quickly as possible, but Willy liked to take his time with you. He never left you unsatisfied, but you could expect nothing to be fast paced. 

His fingers wrapped around your hips to hold you in place as he moved to your other breast and did the same thing. His hot tongue teased your candy pieces to hardness and he hummed his appreciation, sending waves of pleasure down to your core. 

You squirmed in his grasp and whimpered pathetically, “please, Willy,” you begged him, “I want you now.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll have me, dear,” he reassured you, his thumbs rubbing placatingly against your hips, “when I’m ready for you to.” 

His teasing remark made you huff in irritation until his fingers dipped beneath the waistband of your cotton panties and paused you in your tracks. 

You whined as his fingers barely breached the fabric barrier before he removed them. His hands moved to your inner thighs and spread your legs apart for him to nestle in between them. 

All you could do was watch as he leaned closer and pressed a kiss to your navel, just below your belly button. His kisses traveled lower and lower down your pelvis to your pubic bone and finally to your core. You writhed in pleasure when his mouth found its way to where you wanted it, but your panties were still in the way and you groaned with frustration. 

Heat emanated from your core due to your arousal and the crotch of your panties were damp with your wetness. 

Your head dropped back against the pillow as he used the tip of his nose to brush lightly against your clit through your panties. 

You were so pliant to his will and responsive to his touch that he almost felt powerful. If it had been anyone other than him, he would have, but all he felt in this moment was an overwhelming feeling of love. The fact that he could give you a comfortable experience of vulnerability and pleasure perhaps did enflame his ego a bit, but he loved you even more for it. To see you enjoying yourself because of him was almost too much for him to handle and he could feel his cock swell to attention. 

He placed a couple of open-mouthed kisses to the crotch of your panties before he dragged them down your legs. He would have liked to tease you more, but he was already beginning to lose patience and he didn’t want to rush through too quickly. 

With your panties removed, he could admire your glistening folds and the sweet juices that had dribbled out of you. His mouth watered as he delved in for a taste, his tongue tentatively flickering against your opening. 

You let out a cry and bucked your hips, desperate for him to fill you. You needed friction and fullness to achieve release and Willy knew you couldn’t get either of those things without his compliance. He smirked at that and lowered his head between your thighs. 

Your hot core pulsed as more of your honey leaked onto his tongue. He moaned in satisfaction, savoring the taste of your sweetness and the delicious sounds you were making for him. He had never tasted anything this sweet except for his chocolate and if he could have only one of those two things right now he would have picked you without a second thought. 

It was almost too much for him to pull his mouth away, but he knew that he must if he were to indulge in the ultimate act of pleasure with you. You both wanted that more than you wanted air to breathe. A greater craving than candy, your existing love and soul connection a stronger aphrodisiac than chocolate. 

With a final flick of his tongue against your clit, he dragged his mouth off you. You whimpered at the loss, but in the back of your lust-flavored cotton candy mind you knew that your shared night of pleasure was just beginning. 

He got off the bed again and opened the nightstand drawer. He withdrew a small tinfoil packet and a small clear bottle of lubricant. 

You were still sprawled out on the mattress, your hair a halo around your head. The darkened room made it difficult to see what he was doing, but your eyes had adjusted enough for you to see movement.  

You felt eyes on you and before you glanced up from the object he was holding, his voice broke the silence, “are you comfortable continuing?”

Driven by lust and lover’s greed, you nodded your consent. Willy did not respond at first, waiting on your actual acknowledgement and proper agreement. Your voice was shaky as you replied to him, but you knew what you wanted and were certain in your response, “yes. I want this. I want you, Willy.”

The sincerity in your voice convinced him and he tore open the condom wrapper. 

Excitement thrilled you and coursed through your veins, carried into your heart by blood. Your body was singing with sensation as you wanted nothing more than his solid body atop you, his hard length buried in your tight heat. 

You watched him with barely-concealed enthusiasm – well, perhaps the only concealment was from the darkness in the bedroom – as he took off his underwear and rolled the condom on. He then squirted a generous amount of lube onto his fingers and coated his cock. 

You could hear him jerking himself off and the obscenely slick sounds from the generous amount of lube. He had yet to give himself any physical stimulation up until this point and you were eager to repay the favor. 

In the dark, your reached for him and he came to you, ready to meld together and fill you full of himself. 

He positioned himself on top and guided your legs around his hips. He propped himself up with one forearm flat against the mattress so that he wouldn’t rest his entire body weight on you and the other guided his condom-covered tip to your entrance. 

He gave your forehead a tender kiss as he pressed in. Your lips parted at your sharp intake of breath and your muscles tightened and seized around him. Willy kissed your face, calming you and keeping you still and relaxed until he bottomed out. 

He nuzzled against your cheek and moved his free arm behind you to cradle your head. 

You tilted your head back and captured his lips. The two of you kissed lazily for several moments as your bodies adjusted to one another. Your walls twitched around his cock, sending jolts of electricity down to his toes, into the pit of his stomach and behind his eyes. Everything felt fuzzy and seemed out of focus except for you. 

The one thing that was clear to him was his love for you and the appreciation he had for you being a part of his life. If he could not trust a single soul with his legacy, he knew that he could trust you with himself and that was more than enough. 

For once, nothing made you question Willy Wonka; his intentions were clear.

Your fears were just that: fear. It was irrational and based on nothing of consequence. However, the very fact that you were afraid let you and he both know how much you cared. 

You would never take Willy, and he would never take you, for granted. 

He would reassure you that though he was not used to sharing his world with another, that you were his world now and you would share in every aspect with him and reap the rewards of a unique and whimsical life with perhaps the greatest chocolatier who ever lived. 

Take out all the fantasy and spectacle and you were left with only love and imagination. 

All these people thought the most fantastical thing about Willy Wonka were his creations, but what took your breath away, and had since the beginning, was the man behind those creations.

 You had fallen in love with him as much as you had with his brain and his intellect, his body, his soul. You wanted to dip your fingers into him like if he were made of melted chocolate. You would lick the essence of his existence off your fingertips to taste his candy-coated soul and sugared thoughts. There were not many candies or chocolates of the Wonka brand that you hadn’t tried, but none were sweeter than the man himself. 

If he existed only in your mind, then your mind was alive with the thought of him. 

All too soon, your thoughts abandoned you as you felt him begin to move. 

He slowly pulled out, angled his hips and pushed back in. 

The sudden movement jarred your body and you clung to him tighter. 

As he began to set a pace, you rolled your hips down onto him each time that he pushed in. This seemed to please him, witnessing you thrusting with him, your bodies moving in unison toward a shared release and reciprocation of pleasure. 

He grunted softly in your ear with the effort of thrusting into you. His soft curls tickled your cheek and you bit back a giggle. A particularly rough thrust ripped the sound from your throat and you laughed aloud. 

His brows furrowed in amusement at your laughter, but he grinned with you nonetheless. 

His thrusts became harsher, deepening as you adjusted and conformed to the rhythm and pace he set that was creating a delicious friction between your legs. You moaned shamelessly into his ear and he thrusted harder, encouraged by the sinful sounds you were making. 

Willy kissed you, his lips feverishly moved against yours as he held you in his embrace and your skin blazed with red hot fervor. A thin sheen of sweat clung to your bodies and you could feel the heat rolled off him in waves. Sweat beaded on his upper lip, but it didn’t bother you as you kissed him harder, demanding more intensity out of your shared intimacy. Your core pulsed, muscles gripping and clenching tightly around his cock. 

Your moans began to take on a higher pitch the closer you got to your release. Willy could tell that you were close now and he was eager to send you over the edge. Sex was, at least for him, about mutual enjoyment and gratification, not domination, exploitation or manipulation. It was about individuals who loved each other enough to put aside their individuality and become one, just for a moment of bliss. 

His forehead pressed against yours as he thrusted into you harder than before, his pace becoming erratic the closer he came to his own release. 

As he panted, you felt his breath fan across your face and he smelled of chocolate.

You balanced on the edge of oblivion as your feverish coupling would soon send you into orgasm. 

After a few more hard thrusts, Willy slipped a hand between your legs and gently rubbed your clit. Your release seized you, your body shaking violently with hurricane force winds of equal parts pleasure and zest. It was as if the air had been knocked out of you and you were falling down into his waiting arms. Ecstasy radiated from your core, carried in waves throughout your body. 

You were alone with your pleasure, waiting on your lover to join you in the afterglow. 

You cried out his name as he thrusted into you through your orgasm. He lasted several moments after you came before he released, filling the condom with several hot bursts of his seed. 

He had just enough strength left in his body to pull out and collapse beside you. His harsh panting soon turned to gentle sighs as his heartrate decreased and his body cooled. His strawberry blonde curls were plastered to his forehead with sweat and were sticking out at wild angles except for the top which was always a bit flattened from the way he wore his hat. 

You reached out and petted his frizzy hair, your fingers delicately massaging his scalp. He let out a quiet little moan and you smiled at him. 

With a deep inhale, he sat up and peeled the sticky condom off his softening prick. He tied it up and tossed it in the wastebin, then snatched his underwear off the ground. He picked yours up as well and handed them to you for you to slip on. 

You got off the bed and put your panties back on, then crossed the room to the bathroom. A few moments later, when you returned after you had cleaned yourself up, you found him lying in bed waiting for you. 

He smiled at you as you approached and extended an arm out to let you curl into his side as you got back on the bed with him. He already had a blanket laid out to pull across your nude bodies so that you could cuddle in modesty and without getting a chill. 

He looked down to watch you settle in and you met his gaze for a moment, appreciating his features. His gorgeous blue eyes were like pools of galaxy speckled with stars. His aquiline nose, which most people thought was too big for his face, looked proportionate in your opinion and beautiful just the same. He had the softest features of any man you had ever seen, slightly chubby cheeks, a round face and curved jawline. He was exquisite in every sense of the word and just looking at him made you fall more deeply in love. 

As attractive as he was to you, his personality spoke to yours in a language only the two of you spoke fluently. 

His appreciation for literature and culture was unique and inspiring and, because it tied in with your own, you learned a lot from each other. His quick wit and casual snide remarks that often passed over other people’s heads made you laugh as though you were enjoying your own little joke with each other.  

During your private appreciation for this man, you concluded that you had no reason to ever think he might be pulling away from you. 

In surreal Willy Wonka fashion, he seemed to read your thoughts as he finally spoke, “I’d like to see you in the Inventing Room with me tomorrow. I want you to be as involved with the holiday busy season as I am.” 

He addressed your insecurities by offering a solution to the problem and your heart felt a bit lighter. He wanted you to be involved in his work so that you didn’t feel so isolated or lonely. He had promised to be more attentive and he intended to do just that, but you could offer him aid and visit him while he worked. True love was buoyed by compromise; you’d see to it that you did your part to keep your relationship strong. 

“Forgive me for not being as attentive as I should be,” he continued, “I’ve been so busy, not to excuse myself.”

“I understand,” you replied. 

He seemed surprised for a moment, as if he half-expected you to still be upset, “and it isn’t entirely your fault. I should come around more if I’m missing you. We’ll find a solution. We have time.” Willy put his arm around your shoulder and pulled you close so he could kiss your head, “time is a precious thing, my dear. Never waste it.”

Between his words, you heard what he was not saying. 

And while he had a point, what you did have was now. 

You could agree just to exist for a moment, sharing in the silence of the universe and listening to nothing but your dreams and the sounds of your hearts. 

You would fall into each other the same way that you fell in love: accidentally and achingly slow. 

One day you would both look up and see how far you had come, but for now, you still had a way to go. 

You knew his heart belonged to yours and that was enough to keep trying. Once the busy season calmed down and you had more time to focus on the two of you, you would ease into it like lovers were meant to, but right now you had an obligation to yourselves not to let the fear of failure drive you apart. 

It might seem fatalistic to ruin a relationship before it had run its course, but you’d seen it happen and the last thing you wanted was for that to be yours. 

You knew deep down that it wouldn’t happen. 

Your love was as strong as your imaginations were wild and no mind would ever dare dream the two of you apart. 

[dumbbitchenergy17]

Where the Wild Things Are - Chapter 8

Chapter Seven: Because of You

Plot: Wild men or monstrous infected creatures, the world is wild and ravaged by Cordecyps but some are raised in it and flourish becoming a wild thing.

Word Count: 5.4K

Pairing: Joel Miller x Platonic!Teen!Reader, Ellie Williams x Platonic!Reader

Warnings: canon-typical fighting/violence, injuries, harsh language, joel actually cares :0, just fucking sad shit tw: trauma from abusive mother, description of child abuse

—————

I cannot cry because I know that's weakness in your eyes. I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh every day of my life. My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with.

Joel and Tommy returned soon after you passed on the question. They expected some resistance or some smart comment but you accepted the meal with a noise of thanks and eyed the medicine Joel provided but took it regardless.

Ellie was quickly berated by both Miller brothers to understand what the sudden calm behavior came from and clearly, the young girl had something to do with it. “I just talked to her?” That was her response and it was the truth. A single conversation with the young girl that didn’t involve scolding or harassment about being seen as ‘normal’ in Jackson was what occurred. Ellie worked at your pace not pushing you to reveal everything and treated you like a human being, not some wild animal that the people of Jackson think you are.

Whatever you took knocked you out leaving you sleeping throughout the rest of the day only to awaken nearing sunset with a healthy meal Ellie had gotten from the mess hall by Joel’s orders but she did sneak some desserts in for you to eat. The environment and relationship that was changing from your near-death experience started to become more noticeable. You still kept to yourself, your bedroom and the stables your sanctuary from all that was outside, you hardly talked to Joel this instinct that keeps you at a distance from the man, Tommy it was more of him talking to you but you would add your two cents in and were so rigid when he would appear at the stables at random times to check in on you or to bring you something to eat.

The only person you would really ‘close’ to was Ellie. You started eating some meals with Ellie just the two of you and she would fill the silence by talking about whatever was on her mind with you speaking at times, she would hang around the stables and help with the horses when she wasn’t at school or hanging with Dina and Jesse. She took you to some places she would go with her friends and there was one interaction where you met Dina and Jesse that didn’t involve you beating someone up or trying to kill them when you first met them. It was awkward with you standing slightly behind Ellie just staring at the two teens as they tried making conversation with you either responding with grunts and nods or not even saying anything. But when Ellie would speak to you a few short sentences would come out but directed to her.

Despite being close to the younger girl and interacting with her friends you kept that boundary with the Millers and yourself. No matter how many times Tommy would invite you over for a ‘family’ dinner you refused.

“I’m not in your family.” And that’s how it would end, no amount of begging or offering of your favorite meals would convince you. Why would you have dinner with people who claimed it was for a family when you had no relation to them?

The cold was only getting more colder entering the final month of the year before spring would soon come. Making sure all the horses had extra hay for this chill in the air especially the two colts that are Dakota’s. Once they were situated you went out to do some last-minute things only to be interrupted by the appearance of Ellie petting one of the horses Shimmer.

“What are you doing here?” Your tone may have sounded cold and threatening to others but the young girl knew otherwise.

“Just wanted to see if you’re done here. I need help moving something from Tommy’s to the house.” She says rocking on her feet it looks like she just got out of school her pack still strapped to her back.

“Why can’t you get Dina or Jesse?” You question grabbing feed from some of the older horses petting Red in passing, “Because the two of them have this dinner date thing—blegh.” She says rolling her eyes and making a gagging noise.

“I thought they broke up?” You were very confused by the two’s on-and-off relationship, “Yeah they are doing this date to see if they want to get back together. Come on let’s go I need your help and everyone else is busy.”

Adding the remaining food in the large trough outside all of the older horses' section you move back inside grabbing your coat and throwing it on. “Fine.” Ellie pumps a fist up in the air with glee as you take your time signing out in the log and writing some notes on items needed. Ellie rocks on the heels of her feet,

“Come on let’s goooo.” She groans and you follow the girl out of the stables trying to take the quickest route to Rancher Street. Normally you would take backstreets walking through the few wooded areas only to walk through the main streets when completely abandoned. The awkwardness from the lingering stares from people as you follow the younger girl like a shadow keeping close by but distant enough that people seemed to move away when the two of you came near. It didn’t bother you, you weren’t looking for companionship or kindness from these people you didn’t know them and they didn’t need to know you.

The family street appears as the two of you pass by the house you reside in towards the other house containing the younger Miller brother and his wife and child. Ellie bounds up the porch steps letting herself in holding the door open for you to follow. You hear the door close behind you and the sound of voices further into the house but you can’t make it out.

“Tommy we’re here!” Ellie calls out and Tommy responds with an ‘Over here!’ and the two of you enter more into the house. You should have noticed something was off with Ellie’s almost nervous but excited energy. When the two of you turned the corner and saw the dining room you stopped in your tracks. The table was set for dinner food was already prepared Tommy held his son on his hip bouncing the slightly fussy baby, Joel sat on one side of the table already nursing a glass of whiskey, while Maria entered with what you assume was the final piece of the dinner.

“Great you guys are here come sit food is still hot.” Tommy gestures as he places his son into the chair designed for the baby before taking his seat at the head of the table. Maria moves to sit beside her child the baby separating the couple. Ellie already throws off her pack and coat taking a seat beside Tommy leaving an empty seat between Ellie and Joel. You still haven’t moved staring at the display.

“Come on kid, food’s gonna get cold,” Tommy calls out to you and your eyes slowly move from the table to the man. He carries an almost hopeful smile on his face as the others stare at you waiting for you to join in their family meal.

“What the fuck is this.” Void of emotion and sharp edge to your words. You were cornered the air was thin and a pit in your stomach made your insides churn.

“Hey, language,” Joel calls out in a warning tone, especially before the young child. Your gaze snaps away from Joel to Ellie who looks anxious about the growing tension, “You said we were just picking something up from here.” Your throat felt tight and a tingling sensation fills your fingers flexing them trying to gain feeling.

A sheepish look covers the young girl, “You wouldn’t have said yes if I asked. You never said yes before. So I thought this would be the best way to get you to come…” Her plan which everyone else seemed to be involved in had backfired horribly.

“I’m not hungry.” Your response is short already rejecting all of this: this idea, the meal, the people, everything. You didn’t want this. “You haven’t eaten since lunch and that was hours ago.” Tommy brings up having been the one to bring lunch for you just a simple sandwich not filling enough to miss dinner.

“I’m not eating that.” You shake your head sending a glare to the meal before you. Though the smell and appearance of it once made your mouth water and crave it you only felt ill looking at it.

“We can get you something I’m sure we can mix something up real quick. It would be good to all sit together and talk about how our day has been anything just a nice family dinner.” Tommy tries to convince you but it was that one word that made you want to hurl.

“I’m not part of your fucking family.” You hiss taking a step back, “I don’t want this or you or anyone.” You wanted to bolt you wanted to be back in that cabin maybe you should have pressured them more to put you out of your misery back then or maybe not fought as hard against those raiders.

“Why can’t you just accept our help or the fact we care about you?! Sure the world is fucked up but you don’t need to hate the small amount of good that is left,” Ellie stands taking a step towards and a frustrated look crosses her face. “If some shit happened to you just talk to us but don’t fucking act like your the only one suffering. You don’t want a chance to be a part of a family that cares for you again be my fucking guest.” It was like a punch in your gut and if there was any food in your system it would have left your stomach. Your gaze snaps to the three adults each of them with ranges of pity.

Fucking pity.

They saw you as someone weak.

Some broken little thing that needed fixing.

Your gaze pauses briefly with Maria’s, the understanding of how hard those words affected you. She knew the truth she knew why you were cold-hearted your life focused on yourself and everyone else was your enemy. The look of a mother who wished to comfort a child. Why hadn’t you ever received that look? What made you so different that she could never give you that look? It made you fucking sick.

A metallic taste floods your mouth from how hard you are biting your cheek. The weight on your chest felt unbearable just having them stare at you. You don’t even think you could respond unless it was to throw up. It was hot and uncomfortable in that room and it only seemed to rise in temperature. Your vision just seems to tunnel black creeping in from the side.

Fuck you can’t breathe.

You probably could have ripped the door from the hinges from how hard you swung the door open. A loud crash as the door slams against the wall but you don’t even care. Numb feet trip down the steps the coldness of the air heightens as you rush away. The people inside that house their voices fall on deaf ears. You couldn’t hear anything. Blindly letting your body guide you somewhere finding the familiar clearing that was introduced to you by Ellie. Where you sat awkwardly to the side just observing the trio of friends laugh and tell jokes. They tried to include you but you just shook your head listening in as you picked the dirt under your nails. Your chest screamed for air that it desperately needed. The blood spills freely from your mouth staining the snow a crisp crimson. You hold onto a tree with one hand hunched over gasping for air surprised you haven’t buckled over.

Why didn’t she care about you?

Why didn’t she love you? She could have at least pretended for your sake.

And why didn’t he stay? Did he care that little that he didn’t want to try?

Was she right? Just a bastard child to a bastard father.

“Kid?” Your eyes darted spotting the couple standing a few feet away from you. Maria holds her son in her arms the baby is sound asleep wrapped up. Tommy takes a step forward and you react taking a stumbling step back swiping your mouth ridding the blood that paints your lips and a bit of your chin. “You’re alright..” Tommy stops holding his hands out like he’s talking down some rabid animal.

“Tommy,” Maria calls out to her husband who glances back as the woman moves forward, “Go tell the other I got her…give us some time to talk. Girl on girl.” She says before looking over at you who watches the interaction with cautious eyes. Tommy hesitates just for a moment before taking his son and leaving the clearing until it’s just the two of you. Maria heads swiping some snow off the log that substitutes as a bench taking a sit before patting one end. You don’t move keeping your distance.

“You don’t have to might be nice just to sit and talk.” She says warmly, not an ounce of disgust or even remotely upset with your actions in her home. You shuffle forward but sit on the snowy floor a good foot or two separating you. “Ellie is sorry for what she said, though I’m sure she’d feel even worse if she knew how hard those words hit you huh.” She speaks not expecting you to respond. Finding more interest in the snow your gloved hand tracing shapes in the snow.

“Is it the fact that you don’t want to have dinner with us or you’ve never been given the opportunity to have a normal meal with people?” Maria saw the way your gaze snapped to her before darting back to the snow avoidant of the adult’s gaze.

You’re not even sure you’ve had a decent meal in your entire life. Even being here in Jackson you’ve eaten the bare minimum to survive. Why would you indulge yourself in the luxuries of a homecooked meal or even fresh food? You didn’t deserve it, a stranger in this place. No reason for them to feed you well enough until they can throw you make in that cell or perhaps turn you over to the raiders.

“It’s not fair.” You mumble and Maria looks down at you not rushing you to speak, “You live this great life, a perfect little family in this perfect town. Nothing is wrong with you.”

“Not everything is perfect. We’ve all lost something…some more than others. I hav—had a son, Kevin,” Maria falters slightly and you can hear the sudden sadness lace her voice as you look up at her, “He was only three on Outbreak Day. Tommy has lost people he’s cared for, same with Joel and Ellie. It takes time to come to peace and some just never get over it.” Maria says a sense of peace despite the fact of losing a child.

“It still hurts but the pain gets easier but it never leaves. Some days are better than others. I can only be grateful for the life I have now and knowing my little boy is in a better place.” Her voice gets all choked up and she swipes away a stray tear from he misty eyes.

“I’m sure he knows he is loved.” You say softly and she nods looking down as a few tears fall but she takes a moment to compose herself.

“I’m sure in another world both my sons would have known each other. I’m sure in another world your mother would have loved you the way you deserved to be loved.” She says and you’re not sure how to react.

You’re not sure you could ever imagine a world where she loved you. To hold you in her arms like you were fragile glass. To read to you stories about far-off lands of heroes fighting to save the day. To soothe your tears and heal your cuts and scrapes you gained for having too much fun not from getting beaten and burned by those around you. To care about your interests and the things you enjoy. To be funny and make you laugh so hard you cry. To hold your hand when you are scared and protect you from the nightmares and fears that couldn’t hurt you. To make you a homemade meal to sit at a table and talk about your day and just be together. Maybe you would have a day in that picture. He’d come home from whatever job existed before the Outbreak Day, complain about the long day but happy to come home to his daughter and wife.

“I don’t think she’d ever love me no matter what world we lived in.” You wonder what kind of person you’d be in a different life but you believe that some people truly can’t change. Maybe this apocalypse truly brought out the real side that people had hidden in a normal society. “I’d rather have her lie to me. To at least act like she wanted to read me stories, to hold me on the cold nights instead of sleeping by a barely working radiator, to have my father be in my life and not just a string of drug addicts and horrible men, to tend to my wounds from bullies instead of learning how to stitch my first cut at nine, to just sit with me and a goddamn table and talk to me! To treat me like her kid...her fucking daughter instead of some bastard child!” Your throat grew more tight and your vision more blurry. It was anger a hatred towards her. You were jealous of all of those people who had good parents. A father in their life. A mother who loved them. You got neither. You wanted that. You craved it.

“I just wanted a mom.” You gritted out a burning in your eyes until you felt something run down your cheeks. Raising your hand see wetness appear on your gloves before turning your attention to Maria who looks at you sadness covering her eyes. Harshly rubbing your eyes to rid the tears and scowl though not a very good one. “Doesn’t matter it’s stupid anyway.”

“It’s not.” Maria defends against your statement, “You deserved someone to care for you and she failed you. Not you. You deserved that life you wanted and she failed to give that to you. She failed at being a mother. You didn’t fail as a daughter.” She says and it’s quiet between the two of you. A mother who wished she could’ve given the world to her first child but was given the chance to try again and a daughter who gave all she could’ve to a woman who was meant to be a mother and given nothing in return. Maria stands up holding a hand out for you. It’s a moment before you accept her hand though it’s not the action of helping you stand but telling you something deeper.

A mother caring for a child that isn’t even hers.

The walk back to Rancher Street has a new energy and a different feeling. You can’t describe how things changed between yourself and Maria but it did. As the familiar view of the house you occupy with Joel and Ellie comes into view a guiding hand rests on your shoulder and you’re brought away to the house that is Maria and Tommy’s. “Why are we going over here?” You ask confused maybe Joel and Ellie were waiting in their house. But they would have been waiting in their home for you to return.

“Just trust me.” She says and while a part of you, the part that screamed at you to run and hide. To reject this adult’s trust, you didn’t know her, she could hurt you, you don’t know her intentions. But you still followed after her until you reached inside the house that remained empty no sound of Joel or Ellie. Coming around the corner is Tommy and their son held in his arms. “You’re back.”

“Can you go sit at the dining table for a moment?” Maria asks and you nod trailing over to the dinner table to food still set and waiting for someone to eat it. You could hear some muffled voices a whole room separating you from deciphering the words between the couple. The couple returns with the male holding Liam as he places the baby in the highchair. The child babbles at his father before Tommy pulls away heading off to the kitchen with Maria. The baby seems in their own world before he makes eye contact with you and you feel locked in its gaze. A staring contest between a teenager and an infant. Pinned under the child’s innocent gaze unable to react. You weren’t sure what to do. He seems to see something you don’t do before giggles fill the room as it laughs at you. Maria and Tommy return the couple smile softly at the sight.

Your gaze snaps to Maria and Tommy, “I don’t know why it’s laughing at me.” The worried expression only causes the child’s laughter and babbling to increase.

“Well, Liam seems to like you so I don’t think you need to worry about him giggling at you,” Maria says before serving generous portions of food onto a large plate and covering it to keep the food all warm. She gives the plate to Tommy who collects his son and the two head back out and you watch them leave. “Where are they going?” You question as Maria grabs a new plate and starts filling it with a spread of the food placing it at one seat and grabbing a new plate she looks up at you.

“What would you like?” She asks and you look at the food, then the plate, then at her a look of confusion. “What?”

“What would you like to eat? There is chicken, a mix of vegetables, and mashed potatoes with some gravy we also have some leftover cookies but those can be for dessert.” She explains pointing at the different options before you. It hit you hard in the chest what she was doing for you. “You don’t have to stay, I can serve you and you can stay here and I’ll eat somewhere else or you can sit somewhere else in the house if you feel more comfortable.” She reassures you willing to work at your level. To just sit at a table and talk.

“You can choose.” You say fidgeting with the gloves on your hands feeling hot from the layered clothes. She does a spread of the options giving you the option to try everything with portions you would never serve yourself. It was too much food that you didn’t deserve. You weren’t sure you’d ever seen this much food just for you in your life. Maria settles down going to get started on her meal when she looks at you sitting across from her staring at the meal unsure where to start or if you even could. Maria stands up grabbing her plate, “Come on.” She grabs your plate and drink follows after her as the two of you leave the dining room finding yourself in the family room. Maria places her food on the small table in front of the couch gesturing for you to follow.

“You can sit on the floor or the couch whatever you prefer.” She says before moving toward the television to set something up. You sit on the ground your plate of food resting on the table at your chest your legs crossed under the small table. “You can start eating if you’d like. Don’t wait up for me.” She says over her shoulder and the hunger you’ve been holding back has you digging into the meal. Rich flavors and the weight of the fresh warm meal a great feeling in your body. A pleasant sound fills the room as light shines from the tv. Maria sits on the couch her plate resting on her lap as she starts to eat as the film begins on the screen.

“This is one of my favorites.” She says and the film plays and you’re sucked into the story reading the title of the film with wide curious eyes.

“The Lion King? How can a lion be a king?” You say looking back at the older woman, “Just watch the movie.” She says and you return your attention to what’s on screen.

You ended up moving up onto the couch around the midpoint, the food filling you up, and when Maria said that you were allowed to have more servings you declined so full from that. You weren’t sure how you got so invested in the film, feeling a deep sadness and shock when Mufasa died. To be invested in the characters Timon and Pumba a crack of a smile listening to their jokes. By the time the credits came it wasn’t shocking from the full meal, the film, and just the exhaustion from the day's events you drifted asleep your cheek pressed against the arm of the couch your arms acting as a pillow.

Maria got to work quietly cleaning taking your plates to the kitchen and started to pack up the remaining food leaving leftovers for them but having some to give to Joel and Ellie. With the leftovers in hand, she glances at you still asleep on the couch the dim glow of the TV shines on your features before she quietly exits her home to fetch her husband and child.

Joel wasn’t sure what to say or do when you returned. Given Ellie’s outburst that quietly turned to guilt once you fled his brother’s home, they went out looking for you. Looking back at their home, then the stables all the while comforting the young girl who was filled with guilt for the harsh words she had spat. When Ellie suggested a location the young introduced the older one to they ran into Tommy with Liam who reassured them that Maria had you and they were talking things out and to return to their home.

Joel wasn’t expecting Tommy and his nephew to appear at his door with what looked like the meal they were meant to eat. Still, he questioned where you were but Tommy reassured him that Maria was providing her dinner and it would be better to make it a gradual approach involving you in these things. He could understand that, you kept to yourself eating meals alone in your room or at the stables when someone would bring you something, you came and went with little to no warning. Sometimes late a night he had to really strain his already bad hearing for the front door to quietly creak open and even quieter footsteps travel around the first floor before retreating to your room. So the four of them ate the meal Maria prepared in Joel’s dining room. Ellie hoped to apologize to you but for the time being, was able to distract herself with Tommy’s son. Now that it was truly dark and a meal would be over when another knock came at the door and it was Maria with leftovers he couldn’t help but feel slightly frustrated.

“She fell asleep after dinner. Tuckered out from the day.” Maria says while trading the leftovers to Ellie for her son. Joel nods his fingers holding the loops of his belt, “Well myself or Ellie will come over in the morning to collect her.” When he said that he saw the look Tommy and Maria gave each other clearly he was out of the loop with something.

“What is it?” A hint of concern in his tone. “Joel..” Tommy starts not sure the best words as Maria takes Tommy’s hand giving it a reassuring squeeze, “We’d think it might be better if the kid stays with us.”

Joel wasn’t sure how to take that news. Did you ask to stay with them given the events of today? Was it something he did before? “I’m sorry what?” The words didn’t seem to register.

“We just think it might be good for her to be in a more family-oriented environment,” Tommy says and Joel sends him a questioning look, “The hell does family-oriented mean?”

“Joel come on, she stays practically locked up in her room and if not she’s at the stables until she has no choice but to come back. Ellie talks and tries to spend time with her but seriously Joel do you know one thing about her? You both are busy anyways with Ellie in school and you with your patrols she’s left with nothing to do.” Tommy says and Joel feels like this is an attack on his skill of taking care of a child. His hand rests on the broken watch around his wrist. He raises Sarah all by himself with the help of Tommy but it is just him and his babygirl. Then there was Ellie he would say he is raising her well for an ambitious spitfire of a kid. Tommy’s words hurt him and the image he had of being a good parental figure but it shined a light. He saw Ellie as his daughter his kid to protect and care for but in the beginning, you were some brat shoved in his hands as his responsibility now but he couldn’t explain this need to watch over you. Though he did it while keeping a 15-foot pole separating you both.

“You said you couldn’t do it cause of Liam why the sudden change?” Joel wanted to find an excuse just the tiniest one so he could claim he was the better fit but he had no clue why he wished this. The old him would be rejoicing and letting them take you off his hands.

“That’s because we didn’t know her. All of us needed to learn to trust her and we do. She’ll be around at least one of us when with Liam and this might be the first step and getting her out of her shell,” Maria says “She’s been through a lot Joel and she’s only now wants to talk about it. She needs normalcy in her life. I don’t mean this in a wrong way but you and Ellie still live and act like you’re out there fighting to survive.” Now that riled up the older Miller. Sure he kept to himself spoke when only necessary to do his job then returned home to do it all over again but things were different now. Ellie and him had things that they never had out there and being here was their fresh start from everything that has happened to them.

“Tommy.” Joel looked at his brother hoping he would try to defuse the situation and maybe reconsider but he didn’t. “Did you even ask her? Do you really know her well enough to know what’s best for her?” He sounded spiteful a bite to his words.

“Stop it,” Tommy’s voice curt to his brother and his wife, “We just came here to tell you she’s going to be staying with us. Not fight over who knows her better. If she wishes to return to stay with you she’s more than welcome to.” It’s quiet between the three adults before Liam begins fusing and it’s too late for the baby to be out.

“Look you’re welcome to see her. We’re not keeping her away from you Joel but if you really think she’s better off with you. Put some goddamn effort in getting to know her instead of treating her like some stranger.” Tommy says before delivering his brother a pat on his shoulder that was meant to be comforting but only felt like a mockery. The family retreats back to their home as Joel closes the door a weight in his stomach as he stares at the woodgrain on the door.

“Joel?” Ellie’s voice makes him turn from where he stands to find Ellie standing in the living room. He was sure she heard their conversation but didn’t but in. “Is she not staying with us anymore?” Sadness laced her features and it only added more guilty weight to his gut. This wasn’t something he could give some hopeful response that things would be better but he truly didn’t know. You’re decision would be up to you and it may be his fault for not putting in an effort.

“I don’t know kiddo…I don’t know.”

Where the Wild Things Are Tags

@ashisabitgay @bobbypickl3 @christinamadsen @clovergray @cozyphine @daemontargaryenwhore @darthrue @daughterofthequeen @ellistyle @fictional-character-whore @gods-menace @kitdjarin1 @lorenaloveslewis @lovelyygirl8 @lunawants @maelartasch @marvelandhamilton @minaridior @oscarissac2099 @poetoflawed @queenofthekill @rhaenyramistress @scoliobean @stargurl99 @stickthegremlin @supernerdycookietrashblrr @todoroki-simp @ucannotcompare @wife-to-pedro-pascal @your-shifting-gurl

If your name is crossed out tumblr won’t let me tag you for some reason. Sorry :(

[albertasunrise]

Oops Baby - Broken Heart

Masterlist

Summary: Being best friends with Frankie meant movie nights, drinks with the guys and a shoulder to cry on when you got your hear broken. He is head over heels for you but you don’t feel the same… yet a drunken mistake will tie your lives together forever!

Relationships: Frankie Morales x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3 I choose to give none. Read at own risk. 18+ (I apologise in advance for this trip you're about to take 😬)

Series Masterlist - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Frankie needs a transplant.

Those words had been circling in your head from the moment the doctor had uttered them. He was in severe heart failure and only a new heart was going to save him. They could control it with medication. But there was only so much time he could live like that before his time was up. So now he was on a waiting list.

A long waiting list.

You were sitting at his bedside as he slept. The machines whirring around him letting everyone know that he was still here. Still breathing. It had been a few days since he'd collapsed. He'd spent 48 hours in an induced coma before they'd finally brought him around again and after another long, gruelling day, he'd opened his eyes and smiled at you.

Mary had been there whenever she could. Fussing over him in every way she could. Marking her territory and making sure you knew that Frankie was hers and that when this was over, it wouldn't be you he’d be with.

The Miller brothers had also been by most days to see him but Benny was the one that struggled to keep himself together whenever he was around his friend.

You were a little shocked that they discharged Frank after two weeks in the hospital. He had, more or less, died two weeks prior. So for him to be discharged with a new mix of meds and instructions not to do anything too strenuous seemed to be a little crazy to you.

You had agreed all those months ago that he would move in with you for a while when the baby was born so now seemed as good a time as any. He was weak in his first few days out but as the days went by, he got a little stronger each and every day. You had to learn how to accept the fact that Mary was now a constant in your life. It was clear that she wasn't happy that Frank was not staying with you and not her. You couldn't even start to understand how she must feel having to share the man she cared for with a woman who was about to have said man's baby. It was a mess.

She never outwardly made you feel like you were a burden to her and Frank but you knew you were. You were getting in their way and you were more and more conscious of that the more time you spent with them. She never stayed the night but she certainly made sure she spent as much time as she could with him. Fussing over him when he was having a hard day and cooking dinner for him almost every night. You hated how she had so consciously inserted herself into your situation without any thought for how it might be affecting you.

And Frankie said nothing.

He just wanted to keep the peace. To weak and tired to argue with Mary but the truth was he was getting fed up with her mollycoddling. He wanted to spend some time with you. He wanted to just enjoy these last few weeks with you until your daughter made her entrance. But as the days merged into weeks, she didn't back off. Then before either of you knew what hit you… You were staring down the barrel of your due date.

3 days to go.

Mary was puttering around in your kitchen as she prepared lunch. Another meal she'd found that was supposed to help keep Frankie healthy. Well as healthy as he could be despite needing a new heart. You were sat on the couch, rubbing your swollen belly as you watched her move from beneath your sundress.

"So I was thinking that we could maybe go out this weekend." She piped up as she started to dish the food up onto two plates "Get out out and about."

"It's Titch's due date this weekend Mary." Frankie groaned "We can't be going anywhere for a while."

"No… Right… Of course." She muttered as she picked up the plates and placed one on the table in front of Frank before placing the other down and sitting "Just thought it would be nice to spend some time together before the baby comes and steals you away from me." She chuckled as she dug into her food.

"All we do is spend time together." He muttered, eyes his plate of food before his eyes drifted to the counter "Didn't you make some for Titch?"

"She's so picky with her food." Mary shrugged "I just assumed that she'd make herself something."

"She's 9 months pregnant Mary!" Frank scolded.

"It's fine Frank." You piped up as you waddled into the kitchen "I have leftover pasta I can eat." You said as you opened the fridge and grabbed the plate of leftover Mac and cheese from the other night.

"Let me sort that for you." He said upon noticing that you were struggling to stay on your feet.

"I'm okay Frank." You assured him as you held onto the counter to aid your walk to the microwave.

"No, you're not…" Fish trailed off as he got up and swooped to your aid "Go sit… I'll sort this for you."

"Your food's getting cold Frankie." Mary piped up and Frank felt his blood boil.

"It'll be fine." He snapped at her before helping you over to a seat at the table.

"You shouldn't be overexerting yourself." Mary stated as she watched Fish practically carry you to the table "Remember what the doctor said-"

"I know what the doctor said and helping the mother of my child sit is not over-exerting myself." He growled, "Now shut up and eat your food."

Both you and Mary were a little taken aback by his sudden change of tone. Her green eyes started to fill with tears as she nodded at him a returned her attention to the food on her plate. Frankie felt a twinge of guilt at snapping at her but he was tired. After sorting your food and eating his own, he helped you up to your bedroom so you could take a nap. The last few days of this pregnancy zapping you of all your energy.

And that left him alone with Mary.

"I'm sorry for snapping." He said as he walked into the kitchen to see her finishing off the dishes "You just need to understand that Titch and I are having a baby and she needs my help right now."

"I get that Frank." She sighed as she gripped the counter and let her head fall forward "But you need to understand how much it hurts to know that I won't get to be the person to experience all this for the first time with you."

"What do you?…"

"I mean that I love you, Francisco!" She groaned as she finally turned to face him "And it's killing me that I won't get to be the woman to give you your first child. That it won't be me you get to experience all those firsts with… It'll be here."

"Mary-"

"And she doesn't even deserve it!" She shrieked "She broke your heart, Frank. Took it and stomped on it and yet she gets to have this with you."

"She made a mistake." Fish sighed "We were drunk and she was feeling shitty and the more I think about it… the more I realise that I took just as much advantage of her as she did of me!"

"Frankie-"

"I need you to back off a bit." He piped up, wincing at the heartbroken expression that then filled her features but it had to be said "We are literally just about to become parents and I need to focus on her for a while."

"What about you?" She asked and his brows furrowed "Who's going to take care of you?"

"I'll be okay." He tried to reassure her but she scoffed.

"You need a new heart, Frank!" She growled "You are so far from okay."

"I know that." He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he squeezed his eyes shut "I appreciate everything you do for me but baby I need to prioritise her and my baby right now. You told me you would be okay with this when we first talked about this!"

"I did!… And I do it's just… I just love you okay."

"I know." Frankie said softly as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close "We will get through this I promise." He whispered against her brow as he pressed a kiss there "But I need you to just give us some space okay?"

She nodded, knocking a few tears free.

"Okay." She said letting out a stuttered breath.

"This isn't us breaking up okay?" He assured her "This is just me focusing on my baby okay."

"Okay."

…

You were slow getting down the stairs. Having to stop halfway to the kitchen to take a breather. When you finally made it, you found Frankie standing at the stove stirring the most mouthwatering-smelling sauce.

"What'cha cooking?" You asked as you waddled to his side.

"Homemade Turkey meatballs with a tomato sauce." He replied as he looked over his shoulder to smile at you "Thought seeing as all you're craving these days is pasta… You wouldn't mind more of it."

"Mmmm, daddy's too good to mummy." You cooed as you lowered your face a little to talk to your bump.

Frank's heart skipped a beat at your statement, his eyes widening a little as he watched you rub your belly.

"Where's Mary?" You asked, snapping him out of whatever reverie he was in.

"She uh… Well, we had a chat earlier and she's agreed to give us some time. She was getting a little-"

"Much?" You interjected and he chuckled.

"Yeah." He replied before returning his attention to the sauce "She meant well."

"I know." You replied as you gave his arm a friendly squeeze before waddling over to the kitchen table "Just wish we'd had a little more time to enjoy these last few weeks together."

"Enjoy them how?" Fish chuckled as he glanced at you.

"I dunno… Start sorting the baby's room. Organising the drawers and choosing a name. That sort of thing."

It suddenly dawned on Frankie that you and he hadn't had a chance to sit and discuss potential names for the little girl who was due any day. He was hit with an immense wave of guilt at the realisation that he had been neglecting you and his baby. Sure he'd been sick but he had been neglecting you long before his heart attack. He needed to do better by you.

"Why don't we do that tonight?" He stated, grabbing your attention.

"Do what?"

"All that stuff you mentioned. We can get the clothes done then sit and read through that book of baby names my mum sent."

"Oh.. the 'Spanish Baby Names' Booked she mailed you literally a month after we told her?" You chuckled and he grinned.

"Yeah… That one!" He grinned at you and you smiled warmly at him.

"Sounds like a plan."

So that's exactly what you did.

You ate the wonderful dinner Frank had prepared for you. Sorted the baby's outfits into the chest of drawers he and Ben had assembled for you just before his incident and then sat down on the couch, giggling at some of the names you came across.

"What about Leticia?" Frank asked and you snorted "What's wrong with that one?"

"It sounds like Lettuce!" You chuckled "We can call her Leticia Salad Morales."

Frank's heart practically stopped at the mention of his daughter taking his last name. That also wasn't something either of you had discussed. He had hoped you'd give his daughter his name but he hasn't wanted to push the subject.

"Okay well… have you seen any you like?"

"Hmmm… Let's see." You said as you flicked back a few pages "What about Mercedes?"

"Pass!"

"Why?"

"Because I went to school with a girl called Mercedes and she is now an escort!" He stated plainly and your jaw dropped.

"Okay… No to Mercedes." You replied before looking back a few more "What about Esmeralda?" You asked and Frankie's eyes widened "Esme for short."

"I uh… I…" He was lost for words.

Something you mistook for embarrassment.

"Nevermind we can-"

"It's perfect!" He interrupted, stopping you in your tracks "I love it."

"You do?" You grinned at him and he nodded, smiling wildly.

"Yeah." He confirmed as he placed his hand on your bump and leaned in close "How about you Emse? You like the name?" He chuckled as he felt the baby shift under his palm "I think she likes it." He said as he looked up at you, freezing in place when your gazes locked.

The air seemed to crackle as the two of you looked at each other with such intensity that the air seemed to be sucked from the room. Neither one of you could be entirely sure who made the first move, but the next thing you knew the two of you were kissing each other breathless as Frank pulled you to straddle his lap. You groaned at how your huge bump seemed to get in the way of your core seeking the relief it needed and upon noticing this, Frankie's deft fingers slipped into your shorts and started to circle your aching clit.

The moan that slipped from your lips was bordering on pornographic. His fingers pushing into your core had you screaming his name as your hips rocked in an attempt to gain more friction.

"Fuck Frankie." You whined as you felt yourself hurtling towards your release.

"Cum for me Hermosa." He purred "Let Papi make mummy feel good."

That statement was all it took to send you hurtling over the edge. You came with a cry, panting against Frankie's lips as you smiled sweetly at him.

"That was… Wow…" You panted and Frank smiled sweetly at you.

"Glad I could help." He chuckled "Do you wanna?…"

He left the question open but you knew what he meant. You nodded before letting him help you to your feet. Smiling as he kissed you deeply before pulling you in the direction of the bedrooms.

"Oh!…" You gasped, stopping in your tracks as you looked down to see the small puddle that had formed at your feet.

"What?" Frankie asked as he looked back at you, his eyes then following yours and widening at what he saw "Did you?… Did your?…"

"I think my waters broke." You gasped, looking up at him with eyes the size of saucers "I think our baby's coming." You grinned at him and he chuckled as he cupped your cheek and pulled you in for a kiss so sweet you could practically taste it.

"Great timing baby girl." He chuckled as he looked down at your bump before returning his gaze to you "You ready?"

"Definitely."

…

Frank wiped your brow as you collapsed on the bed, panting as you readied yourself to push again. Tears stained your cheeks as you looked up and Frankie, your whole body shaking with the effort of pushing your child into the world.

"You're doing so well sweetheart." He said sweetly as he looked down at you and kissed your brow.

"Right one more big push for me." Stated the doctor, pointing at you when it was time and cheering you on as you pushed like your life depended on it "She's here!" The doctor announced and then the room was filled with the wailing cries of your newborn daughter.

"She's here sweetheart." Frankie sobbed "She's here and she's perfect."

"Mmmm." You replied, unable to string a sentence together and unable to keep your eyes open.

"Titch?" Frankie said as he shook your shoulder and then suddenly alarms started to blare "What's happening?" He asked panicked as he was pulled back.

"She's haemorrhaging." Stated the doctor "We need to get her into surgery!"

Frank was dragged from the room as it erupted into chaos.

…

Ben's knee bounced nervously as he sat there with his brother waiting on news of the new member of the group. He couldn't believe that there was going to be a baby. That he was going to be Uncle Benny!

"You think she's here yet?" He asked his brother as he looked nervously at the clock.

"I'm sure we'll hear news soon."

They both sat up straighter when they saw Frankie step into view. Both Millers stood in unison as they studied their friend and noted that he wasn't smiling.

"Is she?…"

"Esmerelda's here." He said, a small smile gracing his lips "She's perfect!"

"What's wrong?" Will asked and Frankie sobbed, throwing his head into his hands as he allowed his emotions to flow freely.

"Is Titch okay?" Ben asked, his blue eyes filling with tears.

"She's in surgery." Frankie managed to force out.

"Is she going to be okay?" Ben all but whispered, his knees going weak when Frankie looked up at him with bloodshot eyes and tearstained cheeks.

"I don't know." Fish replied as he shook his head.

Ben didn't stop the tears then. He had come to consider you his best friend. The sister his parents never graced him with and now he was facing the possibility that he would never see you again. That idea that he might never get to see your smile or hear your laugh again, killed him.

"I don't know." Frankie repeated as his hand went to his chest.

"Frank?… You okay?" Will asked, managing to grab the man in time before he hit the ground.

Then everything went dark.

Next

For updates follow @albertasunrise-ficsblog

[peachymilkandcream]

Second Chance|Levi x Evelyn AU

Request: A second chance one shot with Evelyn and Levi. They broke up but he’s been stalking her ever since conveniently showing up when she’s at her worst because he’s been waiting for this.

(A/N: The request is from me haha, I wanted to do something a little interesting and different so I hope you guys like it! I might have to do a part two, or a full series if anyone's interested, just let me know!)

WARNINGS: noncon/dubcon, graphic descriptions of violence, domestic violence, manipulation, mind breaking, yandere behaviour/themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, wishing rape upon someone, misogyny, mentions of child abuse, blackmail, revenge porn, murder, second chance, stalking, etc.

================================================

Evelyn had been blissfully free from her ex for months now. The only ties to him left the occasional time checking his social media and seeing what he was up to. It wasn't for being hung up on him or anything, it was more so making sure that he was moving on himself and was finally over it. Levi hadn't been entirely thrilled about the news that Evelyn wanted to break up and was kicking him out of their shared apartment.

He had been upset and brooding the whole time, asking her again and again if she was sure she wanted to do this. They could go to couple's counselling, work things out. This was a mistake, she was throwing away a whole relationship for what.

When he asked the reason she couldn't give a straight answer. The truth was he was controlling, everything from the way her hair was cut to her most recent manicure was all decided by him.

Currently her nails were being redone, Levi had sent her with a particular color, one that he later confessed with pride was the shade of his tip. That was the final straw, she was done with everything being about him and sex. Granted, she had lost her innocence to him and he never gave her a reason to hate it, but still. She was tired of that being all he cared about.

On his socials Levi was partying it up, showing him with his friends, going out to dinners, and acting as if she didn't exist. Her pictures with him were still up, but he supposed he couldn't make him go back and delete every memory over the past two years just because of them.

It brought her relief, she thought that he would be distraught, showing up at her apartment every day until she took him back. It was good to seem him move on in a healthy way.

She never had to worry about him again.

================================================

Levi hadn't moved on. Since he worked from home he set up one of his monitors for work and the other for the security system he had installed in their apartment before he left. He wanted to make sure no man came and tainted her from him. Levi wanted to see and hear what she was going through and know if she missed him, if she wanted him back, or if there was a weakness he could find.

So far nothing good had happened. Thankfully she was in a so called healing process so she wasn't interested in other men just yet. He had time.

With a sigh of finality Levi finished in time with his love, he had been watching her take care of herself through the camera, not mentioning another man's name either. He was sure she missed that aspect of him, even if she didn't admit it. Levi had left an imprint on her life that couldn't be so easily erased. He would come back and win her affections.

After Evelyn had finished she got a phone call with her friend, leaving it on speakerphone.

"So have you been missing Levi?"

"Well there's certain things I miss, but I'm better off without him."

"Move on girl, date some guys, hook up. Levi was your only guy so you need to get some experience."

"I don't think I'm ready for that just yet."

"Okay fine, but eventually. What about that cute guy at your work?"

"Warren? He's kind of out of my league."

"Are you serious? Levi was way hotter than he was and you had to end it with him!"

"Maybe, I'll give it a go. He's nice enough."

"Seriously, get out there. Have some fun, use protection."

"I will, you don't have to remind me."

"I think I do, I don't know but I wouldn't put it past Levi to baby trap you, and it worried me sometimes."

"Levi didn't know I was on birth control, it's okay."

"Good. Just try to forget about him."

"I will. Talk to you later."

They hang up, Evelyn looking happier, while Levi couldn't look more enraged. How dare she put ideas into Evelyn's head?! That was his girl, and now he had competition to work with? And she had been going behind his back this whole time. Evelyn would pay for this. He wouldn't take it lightly.

Levi would get back with her, and he would make her pay for what she'd done. Evelyn would love him again.

[cosmicpoutine]

Hello!

Sorry that you’re going through tough times. Let me attempt to lift your mood by some TimBerKon and StephCass thought of mine!

So you know how Tim and Steph dated, right? But did you know that, apparently, there was a moment when Kon and Cass dated? It’s canon, I swear!

I don’t know how the timeline works (because it never actually works when it comes to DC comics), but from what I heard Cass started dating Kon after “friendship break up” with Cass. I like to think it was Cass’ way of dealing with the heartache she couldn’t understand since no one properly explained romantic relationships to her. And Kon wasn’t that much of an expert in it either (no matter how much of a flirt he’s portrayed to be). So Kon and Cass getting together was their way to figure out this “romance” thing. They liked each other enough… but it wasn’t quite it.

At the time (if I’m not mistaken), Tim was dating Steph. And I can just imagine Kon and Cass looking at them adoringly, thinking it’s just “friendship feels”.

But then Steph died. And then Kon died. And Tim and Cass sought each other for comfort, both thinking that the other was mourning their partner. But the truth is that Tim was mourning Kon more than he should Steph and Cass was mourning Steph than he should Kon. And maybe that’s when it almost clicked for them.

When Steph and Kon were back, Cass was so happy to see her “bestie” that she finally understood what it is she’s feeling. What she’s been feeling for the longest time. She broke up with Kon and he let her go without fight, but they remained good friends, often reminiscing on the time they used to date with humor.

I believe Cass was very supportive of Kon when he learned that Tim was dating Bernard and thought he lost his shot. And then very excited for him when he entered a polycule with them (who knows, maybe she helped her dum-dum brother realize his true feelings for his clone boy). And Kon was hyping up Cass until she finally got together with Steph.

I dunno I just love the idea of Kon and Cass being healthy exes and bonding over their journeys for self-discovery.

Hope this brought you some good vibes! 💜💜💜

i knew that kon was cass' first kiss, but i wasn't aware that they actually dated? i dont wanna sound mean, but that just feels so wrong... that's a lesbian and a pansexual boy

however i do LOVE the idea of kon and cass being good friends after that, and also all the ways these 5 idiots would make fun of each other.

steph and kon have the "i fucked your sister" club

[theromanticrationalist]

Some Thoughts on Sheldon Cooper. . .

"Leonard, I am overwhelmed. Everything is changing and it is simply too much. I need to get away and think." | 7x24 The Status Quo Combustion

"Dr. Cooper, while you were away we came up with a solution that would allow you to change your field of study." "Wow. Pouting and running away actually worked! Yeah, I must say, that may not be the lesson you want to reinforce with me." | 8x02 The Junior Professor Solution

"I'm not leaving your world. I'm just talking about living across the hall." "I understand. Either way, I want you to know that I'm aware of how difficult I can be. So, I just want to say thank you for putting up with me." | 8x12 The Space Probe Disintegration

"It just seems silly to eat in two groups." "It doesn't seem silly if you think of that group as being lead by a big, evil baby." *a few moments later and everyone situated around the couch* "Well, isn't this nice. Sometimes the baby wins!" | 7x16 The Table Polarization

"Two years ago I got my driver's license." "What?! Why didn't you say anything?!" "I like being chauffeured around. It makes me feel important." | 10x16 The Allowance Evaporation

These are some of the moments where Sheldon shows a level of great self-awareness. I bring these moments up as showcasing that Sheldon's level of emotional maturity is much greater than his friends (and the writers of this show) give him credit for. One of the main problems is how the narrative often treats Sheldon as if he is completely incapable of growth, maturity, or taking care of himself. The truth couldn't be further from this. Even the narrative itself shows how much Sheldon changed during his relationship with Amy. The primary problem is that Sheldon's personality is so big and overwhelming, he doesn't HAVE to change because he is able to get everyone to do what he wants anyway, which he is fully aware of and exploits constantly. I mean if you are Sheldon, someone who has a mind sharper and faster than anyone you meet and prefer to have tight, tyrant-like control over your reality in order to feel safe and secure, pushing and manipulating people around to do your will is going to come naturally with the territory. The problem wasn't that Sheldon is a stunted adult who can't manage life on his own, but it is in the fact that Sheldon rarely got constructive and encouraging push back for his behaviors and choices. For when he did, which primarily came from Amy, he was fully capable of making corrections to his behaviors and expanding his worldview. It just ended up that he was either treated poorly and abusively or enabled and placated. That's why I really love the moment with Mrs. Davis when he comes back from his train-riding "sabbatical". Changing his field of study was a HUGE cataclysmic event in Sheldon's life and was one aspect that was causing him the greatest distress. Yet even in this reality-altering experience, Sheldon realizes that some of his responses to it weren't healthy, and makes a note of it with her, e.g. don't reward my childish behaviors because I will take FULL ADVANTAGE OF THEM. There was SUCH a missed opportunity there at the end of Season 7 going into Season 8. Penny realizing that she and Leonard needed to let Sheldon go, allowing him to make his own choices and do what he felt was right for him was a huge revelation for the characters. It was kind of a significant, paradigm shifting moment! I naively thought that they would build on that going forward in the show, but nah. Of course not. Any moments that would have allowed for such growth from all the characters were usually walked-back or dropped. It is such a shame, and makes the watching of this show frustrating for me. And yes! I know! I realize this is a sitcom! Why am I expecting such highbrow writing from something that is primarily supposed to be comedic and entertaining? Well, I think this subtext was implied in the narrative despite itself, especially with Jim Parsons. I think his acting conveys a lot of Sheldon's complexity through his body language and micro-expressions. There is SO MANY LAYERS to Parsons' performance, I just do not see how you couldn't possibly get wrapped up in dissecting them and having higher expectations of the narrative you are watching. Jim Parsons MAKES this show, otherwise what else would it offer?

[luvhynjinnnn]

I MISS HIM a/n: actually wasn't gonna post this but hey lets see what happens. we all know that im only good at angst.

"you always do this! I told you that I just came from the studio!"

"oh yeah! you obviously came from the studio with your MALE members, smelling like perfume!"

"oh my god, you're crazy!" he scoffs.

this was all your relationship had succumbed too. han would come home at two in the morning and and be out of the house before you even woke up.

people think that life with a k-pop idol was all glamour and unicorns and rainbows. and dating hanji was. until it wasn't. now, he was rarely home. he was always either on tour, or at the studio, or at the gym. and he never sent you so much as a text to tell you he was staying over. he'd rather simply let you stay up until 2am waiting.

and at first, he apologized. whenever he came home too late, he'd apologize and get you flowers the next day. now, he just denied, denied, denied. and told you that you were crazy.

were you?

"I miss him" now it'd been three weeks since the two of you broke up. part of you understood that it had to happen. that it wasn't healthy. that you weren't happy. but another part of you wanted to believe that it could've worked out. maybe you were the problem. had you done something wrong? had you driven him to become the person he was towards the end?

"do you? or do you miss the version of him you created? the version of him that you saw at the very beginning?" felix cocked his head at you as you both sat on your bed, the soft light illuminating from the tv screen reflecting on his face. freckles.

felix was the best friend you'd ever had. being friends from the fifth grade to college had made you closer than ever.

"i... i didn't create a version of him; it was there. he was there. we used to go on picnics and go on date nights. we've gone to the arcade together so many times that they have a picture of us pinned on the wall behind the counter." you giggled.

"and where's that version of him now?" felix raised an eyebrow.

"it's still inside him. i know it. he's just been stressed, that's all." a painful lump began to form in your throat as tears welled up in your eyes. even you didn't believe what you were saying. but you had to.

"the sooner you accept that he's not who he used to be, the sooner it'll stop hurting." he whispers. his voice was rather soothing.

just like han's used to be. when he wasn't yelling or drunk. but that was only sometimes.

you knew what felix was saying was true but you couldn't bear to face reality. the thought of having to live without him drove you insane. the thought of the loss of warmth from his arms around you.

who would ever love you if not him?

"will I ever get him back?" you asked, not wanting to accept any version of the answer he would give you.

truth be told, you didn't even hear his response.

as you closed your eyes, you took a deep breath. when you reopened them, you were still in your bedroom. but something had changed. when you turned, Hanji was lying beside you.

"you're back." you whispered.

he nods.

"I missed you. I love you."

he looked over at you, "I know. but this can't keep going on."

"I know. say it please. just once."

he sighed.

"I love you, my love. now I have to go."

"I know" you whispered as you silently sobbed.

the moment you closed your eyes again and reopened them, goosebumps painted you skin. you were greeted with felix's presence once more as he looked at you and sighed.

"I miss him."

"I know."

[archaeren]

just an informal list of reasons to love Tanakamigi Chui

this is not my full essay but it's a quick list of reasons off the top of my head from someone who asked me on reddit

canonically the most “honest and straightforward” character in the game (Neji’s words, and they do hold true) I can’t stand being lied to, even about small things, and I don’t want Kisa to be lied to either. Chui does never and will never lie to her. He’ll straight up tell Kisa things that he’s definitely supposed to be keeping secret. He’s so honest, it’s actively uncomfortable for other people. He’s not trying to be mean, he’s not trying to be ‘brutally honest’, he’s just awkwardly honest and it’s cute and good and I love him for it. Man who doesn’t lie? So hot.

this is a man who will admit when he’s wrong. UNPROMPTED. do you all realize how rare this actually is? Nobody is expecting him to do this. It doesn't benefit him to do it. He just does it because he thinks it's the right thing to do. I feel like everybody expects him to be such a huge egotistical douche (especially after his little speech about how he feels nothing from Quartz's performances--and then it turns out that wasn't him being a dick, he apparently just sincerely feels that way) and then he will repeatedly UNPROMPTED come up to the members of Quartz to be like, “hey so I was wrong about x thing and I really learned a lot from watching you guys” and honestly this is so rare and not a thing guys tend to do in real life that this alone was enough to capture my heart. Seriously, first time I saw his reaction after the fall performance, I was like, "oh no it's over for me" A man who admits when he’s wrong!! Oh my god, he and Kisa would have such a healthy relationship between that and the not-lying thing. No mind games from this guy. Fuckin love to see it.

comes out swinging when it comes to defending Kisa There aren’t many scenes in the game where we have the opportunity to see how he reacts when he feels like Kisa is being insulted because it just doesn’t happen in front of him that often, but WHEN IT DOES oh man, he employs a few well-chosen words of COMPLETE AND UTTER OBLITERATION. You ain’t gonna insult the transparent vessel like that in front of Tanakamigi Chui, hell no! Even when it’s only that he feels like Amber’s win against Quartz wasn’t justified (try getting second place in the fall performance sometime lol, it's EXTREMELY worth it imo), he completely eviscerates his underclassmen over it. That's how you know he really cares about making sure the record is kept straight, because apparently there are only two things that matter to Tanakamigi Chui: Art, and Truth.

drinks his respect Kisa juice (post-winter play spoilers) it’s a consistent behavior for him across routes that he pursues Kisa pretty doggedly and seems like he won’t take ‘no’ for an answer—until you realize that he’ll only take Kisa’s ‘no’ for an answer. Anyone else tells him to back off, he’ll be like, “mmm nah, you don’t know what you’re talking about” but the moment Kisa tells him no or that he sees evidence that she’s not interested, he immediately backs off. He also continues to show respect for her after this, as a performer and rival, his respect is not conditional on her potential as a stage partner. (He also knows her secret after a certain point, but instead of using it against her to strong-arm her into getting his way like you might expect an antagonist to do, he’s basically like, “wow you really risked it all for the stage, that’s SO FUCKING BADASS and exactly what I’m looking for in a stage partner, please team up with me”) It’s really telling that his way of asking her to be his partner is always to offer her his hand, which is a recurring theme with them.

Chui and Kisa are straight-up soulmate-coded (Kisa route spoilers) this might be unintentional, but for some reason the game REALLY goes out of its way to drive home the point that they’re the only true equals for each other, that they’re the only ones who can fully bring out each other’s talent, that they’re so talent-compatible that it’s a little spooky, that Chui is desperately lonely without Kisa, that they can sense each other’s presence, that they’re both willing to give everything for the stage, and that they’re both hiding who they really are. (Chui is, in fact, the only one at Univeil who could actually personally understand Kisa's dilemma of hiding her identity to prevent expulsion--he's in a similar position for political reasons.) How else are we supposed to interpret all of that except that they’re meant to be together? (So why CAN’T they be??)

Chui would do more for Kisa than Chuza will (Kisa route spoilers) This is getting very much into Kisa route spoiler territory but Chui directly states that he doesn’t give a damn about Kisa’s gender, he just wants to perform with her. We can extrapolate from his behavior in Fumi’s route that he’s willing to go pretty far to ensure that can happen. In the power struggle between Chui and Chuza, I think it’s safe to assume that Chui would actually be WAY more ready to embrace relaxing the boys-only rule than Chuza is, just because all Chui actually cares about is getting the best talent, not in traditions or playing power games. Honestly I haven't the fainest idea why the game thinks we should support Chuza over Chui, and that's not even my Chui bias talking--in my experience, that's a pretty common sentiment in the fandom. XD

lbr, he’s damn fine that VOICE. those HANDS. his huge pretty eyes and long eyelashes. he’s so TALL and BENDY and AWKWARD and a DORK and I love it. he’s so GREY and his haircut is so STUPID and I just want to allow him to snuggle a soft pink creature (aka Kisa)

ahem. anyway.

[weenwrites]

I imagine a new human, who has a symbiote in theirself (symbiote reader) and they try to hide the truth from anyone for a long time.

But one day, the bots find out accidentally when symbiote reader was showing their symbiote form to self defense from bad guys (some kind MECH).

(I just want to see the bots' and the trio's reactions about it.)

✎ A/N: Hello! If you've read my rules, you'll see that I don't write for the TFP humans. And since you didn't specify who you'd like me to write for, I'll go with 2 characters.

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

Arcee

Initially, she was completely horrified. All she saw was you being swallowed up by this... Thing... She didn't know what it was, but all she knew is that it wasn't you. She's fully prepared to start throwing punches the moment she thought you were being hurt in any way, so you'd better start explaining things quickly.

Even after you explain what happened and what a symbiote is, she's pretty weary of them and now treats you differently now that she knows that you're not alone. She seems a bit more on edge—especially if the symbiote has materialized themselves somewhere on your body, like on your shoulder or on your arm. She still treats you like a person though, she's just distrusting of your symbiote.

It brings her some comfort that you have protection even when she isn't with you, but she's unnerved that you're essentially being used as a host by an alien parasite. She's fretted over whether it's safe and healthy, and you've had to assure you that the symbiotic relationship you have with the symbiote isn't harmful to either of you.

Ratchet

He may not know much about humans, but he's certain that symbiotes aren't anything native to earth. He stared and watched in horror as your body was completely overtaken, and you were turned into some sort of monster that went berserk on whatever had threatened you, so you can most likely tell how his first impression of the symbiote was.

Even after you explain everything to him, he's skeptical of the them. He doesn't trust that they won't hurt you... But if you trust this thing, then he isn't going to try and pick you two apart if that's not something you want.

He was initially greatly upset at you for hiding something this big from him. He argued that this was a whole other being who was with you this entire time—all those times you spent alone are now forever changed by the knowledge that the symbiote is always with you. But if you explain your reason for why you kept it secret, he may or may not let it slide.

[castlebyersafterdark]

I'm not trying to be mean when I say this, but there are a lot of comments in this fandom that make it very clear the average age of this active fandom right now is about 15, or people with the life experience of 15 year olds. I'm sorry but if Mike is moving El's hands off him and stopping her from kissing him, it's not about duality. It's about him not being interested in kissing her. And the song in the background gave him an excuse to not do the thing that was making him uncomfortable. If you have ever made out with someone before and they keep trying to move your hands and stop you from kissing them, they don't want to be making out with you. Mike wasn't just so into the song he had to sing it right then and there. A hormonal teenage boy would be trying to make out with his girlfriend if he was actually interested in her regardless of what song was playing on the radio. He does not have to sing in that moment. Not to mention how he avoids kissing her in every other scene. Mike pushing El away from him at the airport when she tries to kiss him was the biggest tip off to me that he was gay and wanted to break up with her. And him saying "who said I didn't love you" is also an excuse. We all know he doesn't through his actions and so does El. It's why she acts like that during their fight. She knows he doesn't. But he was thrown off during their fight and was trying to stall. It's what people do when they aren't sure what to say but they are uncomfortable fighting. For the record, El doesn't love Mike either and never showed it and I hope this gets addressed later. But I think this fandom has a huge blind spot when it comes to El and they project themselves onto her a lot. So they think it's mean if Mike was just not into making out with her. You either want to kiss someone or you don't. And he clearly doesn't. It's not mean to not love El. But people go looking for excuses about why he has to have loved her at some point because they think it's about them. I think some people need more relationship experience before they start analyzing the relationships on this show.

Yeah, I do agree a little more with this assessment! I always like hearing everyone's analysis and opinion, but I do also have my own ideas.

I agree about the make out / song thing. The "duality" I prefer is more for several different reasons in that scene. First, we get yet another glimpse into Mike's goofy personality. It shows he and El have nothing in common. She really doesn't find him cute there. He's so charming and adorable when he was singing! Girl wasn't into it. Strike one for incompatibility as people. The other reason for the scene shows incompatibility as romantic partners. Their kissing is odd. The distance. Moving her hands. It's a pattern. So, there is a duality. Just not those other reasons. If he was sooo into her, it would have been framed a lot differently. The rest of the show. After a certain point, all intimacy between them vanishes. It becomes a theme, the overcompensation vs. avoidance.

But, I don't necessarily think one hundred percent the stopping to sing is only a lack of attraction because I could honestly see it with Will and it would be really cute. Even desperately attracted and into each other. It shows Mike's dorky side. Which I don't think El actually likes. Will does. Will would giggle and sing with him and he'd kiss him mid-line and Mike would use his hold on Will's hands to bring him closer as he laughs along to the song before they return to making out. They have the combination of best friendship and romantic partners. Mike and El have neither and they're trying and it doesn't work. Its not healthy, because it's forced. They need something else with each other.

Fandom has a MASSIVE blind spot with El - it's not a slight to El if Mike's gay! It's not mean to not love her like that. He obviously loves and cares for her, but it's about figuring out the differences in his emotions and motivations and truths.

[dropintomanga]

Don't See Yourself As a Cuckoo

I started reading Chica Umino's March Comes In Like a Lion after years of hearing about its great outlook on characters dealing with a variety of emotional issues. In particular, its main character, Rei Kiriyama and his struggles to come to terms with his past involving a surrogate parental figure who raised him after his family died, but ignored their own kids for the sake of Rei's future.

I see this first hand near the end of the 1st volume when Rei reminisces about the past and how he got into shogi.

It's scary that I felt the same as Rei about 13 years ago. I remember one time where I felt like I was dragging my family down a hell hole when we moved into a new living situation. I was dealing with so much uncertainty and didn't know how to handle it. I think at the time, we had limited resources. I felt that I was selfish because I wanted to move to a better place badly over everyone else's preferences, but my sister reminded me that I wasn't the only one who wanted out. She even said my thinking was warped. I think I was just so afraid of hurting my family and felt they had to do so much for my depression. I wanted them to stop helping me. I felt like a cuckoo despite not actually being a cuckoo.

When I look back at that time now, I realized that I was facing a new situation that I was overreacting to. It's fine to react in ways that make you fearful, but there's a point where it affects your relationships in not-so-healthy ways. You have to be realistic and trust in the people around you despite what your inner critic says.

Rei's quote about being a bird and free of emotional pain reminded me of my experiences with birds. I used to have a pet African finch and felt that he had it much easier than me. He got to eat, sing, fly around, sleep, poop, etc. And then I remember my finch lived in a cage and was taken care of by creatures (i.e. human beings) that he can't exactly communicate with. There's no freedom for him here. And even if my finch was free and roaming, he would have to deal with how vicious wild birds are due to being domesticated. My finch died in 2019 after 11 years of raising him and while I do think he lived a long life for his kind, I have to be careful in saying he lived a good life.

After my finch died, I later discovered an avian center that housed birds of all kinds that were on display while walking on a lunch break from work. There were a variety of them living in a special housing display for everyone to see. All of them were either injured, old, and/or couldn't be raised by regular folks. I had a lot of joy looking at those birds and would walk by to see them almost all the time. Some of them did die over time, but the birds reminded me how important it is to recognize that we deserve people to care for us when life deals us a terrible hand. I still stop by the avian center bird display because all the birds there are precious to me.

I sometimes wished I was a bird because it sucks being sad a good amount. It sucks to cry when you least expect it. And then I think about what that actually will entail. I don't want to anthropomorphize animals because it's hard to compare.

The grand truth is that everyone and everything (humans/animals/plants) goes through pain in some fashion. We decay and wither from time to time. That's how life works. Obviously, some pain isn't worth it. But I feel that we have to appreciate to a certain degree how we learn who we really are through our rough experiences. They make us value what's important in our lives. Despite whatever gaslighting we may get, we can get through the pain and/or live with it in healthy ways.

I will say that one thing I notice about birds is that they're usually together a lot. During the 1st year of COVID, I saw a family of mourning doves living in the back of my place for a short time. It was one of the cutest things I ever saw. The parents would fly away to look for food, while the kids parked themselves at their temporary home. I don't know how they're doing now, but I like to think that they're doing okay out there. Whenever I see families of mourning doves, I think of that one family.

Maybe a part of me still wants to be a bird - soaring into the air and being out in nature, free of modern life constraints. The real cuckoo isn't me; it's those who want us to ignore the interdependence of all things that truly makes human beings feel that they matter.

If you ever feel like you're a cuckoo, it's not your fault. You're a person who deserves the unconditional foundation to live a life full of love to process the pain you unfortunately had to deal with.

Much like what the manga seems to entail, springtime is a time to renew yourself with others around, whether human or animal, after the harshness of winter.