#But the “first drawing of the year” is a sacred tradition to me

[shenzaibird-art]

Constructs of Blood

“Verloren was well known for the gruesome magic crafts he used in the battlefield, but one of his most unsettling works was his ever growing Blood Army. Created from the corpses of his victims, these wretched things were devoid of any life, like hollow puppets of flesh, blood and bone. With no organs to perform bodily functions, their tissues were kept partially alive by magis alone, sourced from their former souls which he had bound to their flesh upon their deaths.

“Under Verloren's control, they were menacingly swift, dashing through enemy lines on their feet and hands, and delivering often fatal bites to any unarmored necks. It was nearly impossible to get one of these to let go once they clenched their teeth on their target, as they felt no pain and were simply disposable tools to their master, who had little concern if they were to suffer damages. Such formidable killing machines must have taken immense power to keep running, and yet, Verloren was able to maintain dozens of them around him, managing their every move while simultaneously using several other spells. The extent of his abilities was truly absurd.

“And as his vicious creations marched into battle, they left a trail of blood everywhere they passed. A constant stream of blood was generated within their carcasses and it overflowed, leaking through several places in their bodies -- perhaps a consequence of how much magis coursed through them. So among the bloodshed of their victims they left behind their own unnatural, necromagical blood. People in the region all dreaded the sight of those red-stained paths, for they were a sinister sign that somewhere nearby, death had been lurking, and has already made its move."

---

My first drawing of 2025.

[seafoamaphrodite]

a beginner’s guide to…

✨ altars ✨

here are some materials you can use for an altar, whether it is for your spellwork, a deity, or any other use! altars should reflect your personality, and be a space where you feel happy and safe :D

none of these materials are required, and everything is completely customizable to your beliefs! (just practice respect and safety obviously)

🕯️ basics 🕯️

an altar cloth is a piece of fabric that covers your altar. this could be a bandana, a small blanket, or even a piece of paper!

a glass plate is a mundane but VERY versatile altar piece. it can work as an offering dish, a tray to collect wax drippings, or just a little trinket holder

candles are an easy addition to any altar. you can use any type of candle, but my favorites are taper and prayer candles. scented candles are completely fine to use as well! choose candles based on color and scent

natural materials like crystals, flowers, plants, animal bones (responsibly sourced), etc. are an incredible addition to any altar! if you have a deity altar, learn about their associations and use this to guide your choice

paper and pen/pencil will be your best friend if you write petitions, draw sigils, etc. keep them near your altar for convenience

🌱 cleansing 🌱

many people believe an area should be “cleansed” before it is used as an altar or sacred space

methods of cleansing include incense, water cleansing, sage smudging, and more

incense cleansing is often done by wafting an incense stick or cone through a space and visualizing the smoke clearing out negative energy

sandalwood, lavender, and rosemary are common incense choices for cleansing

water cleansing is something i do a lot, it can be done by sprinkling water in an area or even washing/pouring water. regular tap water is perfectly fine, but you can also incorporate moon water, sun water, rainwater, etc.

smudging with sage involves burning a bundle of sage and, similar to incense cleansing, wafting the smoke through the area. sage smudging is traditional to indigenous tribes like the Lakota and Navajo. as a result, sage smudging (especially the use of white sage) is often considered cultural appropriation when done by non-indigenous people. i am not indigenous nor do i use sage, so i am not incredibly well versed on the subject but i thought i should include it. always do research and practice respect and sensitivity 💌

🌙 takeaways 🌙

finally, your altar is YOUR space. you can include or exclude anything you want; your space doesn’t need to be “aesthetic” or make sense to others

my first altar was a cardboard box with one candle and a handful of crystals. it wasn’t expensive or fancy, but it got me into my practice

through the years, my altar has grown and changed as i have

if you want to make an altar, start with what you have! you would be surprised how powerful your resources are 🩷

[coquettedragoon]

could you expand a little on your writing and worldbuilding process for coquette? the way you write characters is really nice

my writing process is kind of informed by a sense of wanting every part of the thing i'm working on to be fun to work on, which sounds obvious... but well im one of those people who made webcomics excited to get to the big story payoffs 5 years down the track but didn't put any thought into what came before it and got burnt out. in the past i would've shown xios life before enlistment as a slow burn but instead i'm just opening right on it.

the overarching structure of coquette is informed by hxh... i really like how each arc of it is a drastically different setting and genre with a rotating primary cast, i don't intend for coquette to be as varied but it struck me as a really fun way of making longform work that feels consistently enjoyable to work on... ig as a brief example, the first section will focus on the zephyranthes, after this xio and co are sent to fight in sunset as part of the lilac occupation and then are left behind after the lilac force retreats (careful what you wish for ayane...) and Stuff Happens, ig what i mean is i dont want to linger on a status quo for too long.

as for the world, i mostly am drawing from legend of the galactic heroes/gundam 79 as a template. the duchy is the empire/zeon, the lilac is the FPA/earth federation, and sunset is fezzan/side six.

for the lilac in particular, i'm kind of drawing from like... how things felt being in school during the iraq war and the fervor among the students around me, i knew so many people who wanted to enlist after graduation etc and saw the army as like a winning ticket compared to the deadend town we were in, like girls wanting to join the army to get a degree as a lawyer or a pilot etc. the core of the lilac is its a society that exists to funnel people (especially like xio) into the army.

the duchy is a bit more vibes based, i just like when the baddies in scifi are anachronistic aristocrats. theres a section in the gundam origin manga about like... interpreting the zeon invasion of earth as a return to 'the sacred grounds of the soul' that carries a lot of weight. i think it sort of gave me an impression of the zeon as like... people living in the void of space and feeling spiritually/intellectually starved by it and driven mad by it, and i kind of used that as my basis for the duchy. they are obsessed with tradition and antiquity to feel like they have a sense of place in the world and aren't just drifting in space, the aesthetic sense is rooted in a sense of like.. older feeling things are more connected to earth and feel more 'human' to them. then ofc like the imperialism and arranged marriages and social stratification are all 'old' and can't be questioned so they are miserable anyway.

i guess it's all based on the thing in LOGH of how it opens on 'no human or society is immortal', and then depicts the slow collapse of the two nations founded on flimsy ideas. the lilac and the duchy are both dead end nations.

as for character writing... i think i kind of just take archetypes i like from moe anime etc and then try and dig into how their brains work living in the world of coquette. xio could be a happy little moeblob in most other worlds. ryukishis writing is probably what informs me better than anything else... i just want to try and depict what it's like to live inside these characters heads.

[gravewaax]

canada is burning

hey friends. wanted to draw attention to the unprecedented wildfire season us canucks are currently having (and especially how these have been impacting indigenous communities).

3.3 million hectares of wildland have currently burned across the country. this is 10 times the average amount of fires that we experience per year. there’s air pollution advisories all over, with conditions ranging from persistent smokey hazes to orange skies and a red sun and general hellish atmosphere. communities are burning and people are being evacuated. i’m going to go over which provinces are the most affected along with some links to resources.

*updated 11/07/2023. please link me to any updated resources or personal fundraisers and i’ll edit them in.

QUEBEC:

currently headlining because they have 160 (mostly out of control) fires and the smoke is hanging over southern ontario, where most of canada’s population lives.

the Algonquins of barriere lake have been displaced. the community has a population of 800, with a number of people living in cabins along traditional traplines. the Maniwaki Native Friendship Centre has been taking in evacuees, as well as providing meals and support. i believe they’ve closed donations for now, but keep an eye on their socials in case anything changes.

edit: mutual aid request for the Algonquins of barrier lake can be found here. physical donations can be dropped off at ramada plaza, gatineau, quebec.

edit: Odawa Native Friendship Centre is taking donations to assist evacuees.

MARITIMES- NOVA SCOTIA & NEW BRUNSWICK:

following heavy rainfall, people are beginning to return to their homes in NS. due to the location of the fires, ruptured fuel and chemical tanks may have contaminated the groundwater. if you live in NS, free well-water testing kits are beginning to be circulated. samples can be dropped off at the following locations.

the canadian red cross is taking donations to provide humanitarian aid to those displaced in NB and NS, including shelter.

edit: fundraiser for a lost home in nova scotia, having raised almost 2000 of the $8000 goal.

ALBERTA:

set a record in may for the most hectares burned in a year, sitting pretty at over 1.3 million. the previous fire season was less than 500.

the east prairie Métis have been especially affected, losing 29 homes in a community of only 300 people. while this was in early may, and they’re starting to recover, their official gofundme is here. they’re about halfway to raising $50,000, with the aim to prioritize the 14 families who lost actively lived-in homes. the high prairie friendship centre is also taking physical donations if you live in the area. edit: been made aware that there is a fantastic linktree to individual fundraisers regarding the loss of homes.

edit: fox lake was also forced to evacuate back in early may. Little Red River Cree Nation had to escape across peace river on a barge. they have a fundraiser with 30 of $50,000 raised to purchase baby supplies and household items for the affected.

the canadian red cross is taking donations for alberta as well.

NORTHWEST TERRITORIES:

K’atl’odeeche First Nation and their neighbouring community hay river were displaced. as of late may, the K’atl’odeeche chief, Martel, is still trying to set up a 100 person encampment for those who were impacted by the fires. while hay river has been allowed to return, there is no timeline yet for KFN. chief Martel says that people from hay river have been ignoring the barricades set up at the reserve and she is concerned for the safety of her community. please be aware that chief Martel has asked photos of the damage not to be shared on social media, as members of her community have not yet been allowed back on the reserve to see it firsthand. sacred sites and traditional traplines have been destroyed. please be respectful.

i couldn’t find many fundraisers for the NWT, unfortunately. it appears that united way is taking monetary donations, yellowknife evacuation centre is taking giftcards, and the yellowknife salvation army is accepting physical donations.

SASKATCHEWAN:

in early may there were wildfires in northern sask that displaced the Clearwater Dene Nation. i wasn’t able to find any updates or fundraisers on the situation, but their live map indicates there are still 4 uncontained fires. you can imagine this is not good on a huge swath of flat, hot, dry land full of flammable grass.

*NEW* ONTARIO

i’ve been made aware of a fundraiser for the Anishinaabe of Grassy Narrows. last year, their one and only fire escape route was washed out by flooding. as canada experiences its worst fire season in years, it’s absolutely crucial that this road be repaired as soon as possible. they’ve currently raised about 16k of their 40k goal.

since the community banned industrial extraction (logging/mining) the ontario government has stopped maintaining the roads in the area. Grassy Narrows deserves justice and support during these hard times.

[lokavisi]

Yesterday was such a fantastic day. I love volunteering my time and energy to Pagan Pride Day. This festival is truly a gift. So many folks that walk a pagan path don't have physical places to go and commune with other pagans. This one day draws hundreds of folks to this one magical plot of land to celebrate and honor these many sacred traditions that have been pushed into the margins. (Where I'm at in the Midatlantic seems to be rather privileged in this regard. A friend shared with me that they encountered a woman who traveled all the way from Texas to attend.) It is an honor to serve and be a part of this vibrant and varied community, and foster safe spaces for people to be themselves and connected with the divine in all its many forms.

I didn't take a ton of pictures, but I wanted to share these. The first is of my friend, who is one of the head planners. He always wears a top hat for easy identification, and this year, he had it decorated for Loki! Second is an amulet I made for Apollo in a workshop ritual to the Kouroutrohpi. Third is of the pet blue tongued skank of one of the vendors. I was thrilled to get a shot of the blue tongue! And the last one is MY SELFIE WITH A CROW. It was so exciting lol

I am grateful, I am grateful, I am grateful ❤️

[srasdoesthings]

Girly is gonna try a december challange wahoo

SO! Every year (kinda) I have this kinda tradition to make a list of vocaloid songs to draw fanart of a fandom I'm in for! This year since I'm not as hyperfixated on one fandom, I decided it would be multifandom this year^^ Can't promise I'll be able to make everything, but I'll try to get most done and be responsible >:DD

Here's the song list with the fandom!!!

Venom - Twisted Wonderland

Sacred Spear Explosion boy - Bungou Stray Dogs

Showtime Ruler - Project Sekai

Odo - Project Sekai

Dance Orchestra - Ikemen Vampire

Dramin Chu Chu! - Bungou Stray Dogs

Monster - Twisted Wonderland

Kyuuto no Kanojo - What in Hell is Bad

DSCF - Project Sekai

SIU - Twst

Bitter Choco Decoration - Honkai Star Rail

Alien Alien - What in Hell is Bad

Crazy Clown - Bungou Stray Dogs

Annoyance - Honkai Star Rail

God-ish - Enstars

Unhappy Refrain - Bungou Stray Dogs

Love Ka? - Genshin

Wah Wah World!- Project Sekai

Love me Love me Love me- Bungou Stray Dogs

Mr. Showtime - Project Sekai

Positive Dance Time! - Genshin

Black Jack - Genshin

Doctor=Funk Beat - Genshin

There's supposed to be a Cheat Code For Happiness- Twised Wonderland

Samsa - Project Sekai

King - Project Sekai

On the Rocks - Vocaloid

Queen - Project Sekai

Romeo and Cinderella - Project Sekai

Kereshi no Jude - What in Hell is Bad?

Influencer is Dead! - Twisted Wonderland

The art quality may fluctuate cause ueuueue first sem finals coming up but I'll try^^ that's all, bye bye :DDD

[saiyukiitaliaandinternational]

Monthly Minekura Christmas edition

Day 25 “Swapped” (FREE)

Final piece of this cool and amazing monthly event that helped me to boost my self-confidence in digital painting especially when it comes to backgrounds. Since the prompt of this day is free, I decided to digitalize an old piece made in 2014 when I first started to draw Saiyuki characters for the first time. This draw is pure non-sense XD I would shit bricks if I saw a Ukoku-headed jungle crow but I wouldn't mind a jungle crow-headed Ukoku, lol. The whole subject doesn't have any particular meaning, the only notable thing is the Buddhist temple in the background which is Dafo Temple in Xinchang County, a county in the east-central part of Zhejiang province. This is the photo reference I used and I discovered that I love drawing and painting traditional Chinese architecture, plus I discovered several temples I want to visit when I plan to visit China.

The temple has a long history of more than 1600 years. Dafo Temple is constructed with five levels with several halls like the Heavenly King Hall, the Big Buddha Hall and the Scripture Hall. The Big Buddha is almost 15 meters in height, its nose alone is 1.5 meters and ears are 2.7 meters in size. There is also a grotto, several Buddha statues, a waterfall and a petrified forest. I was unsure if drawing the petrified forest instead of the temple entrance for the background but I couldn't resist to paint those vivid colours.

Fun fact: during the Cultural Revolution, locals covered the giant Buddha statues in the temple with pictures of Mao Zedong that managed to prevent the fanatic red guards from destroying the sacred statues, because they believed that all old traditions should be destroyed.

I deeply thank you locals for preserving such gem from human stupidity, thank you!

Credits:

Saiyuki Reload Blast © Kazuya Minekura, Platinum Vision, 2017-present

[astrologylife1]

DONT GET CONFUSED ‼️

This will be the SPIRITUAL & BIG PICTURE DESCRIPTION of my post regarding ASC OPP ASC.

Astrology is a spiritual tool that tells what has already happened. It is not the answer to your life and up to you to perceive the results spiritually.

Ascendant OPP Ascendant are KARMIC RELATIONSHIPS

Like the example I gave a Scorpio rising with a Taurus rising. This is my personal relationship. I am a scoripo asc and my first love I met at 15 is a Taurus rising.

When two OPPOSING ascendant form a connection it is very strong attraction, likeness, simple similarities and harmony. Meaning it isn’t hard to form the bond, there’s no playing games or with each others feelings because it’ feels meant to be.

When I was 15 I had no idea of astrology but when I met my partner I told everyone he looked like Chris brown LMAO. Like I was CONVINCED this 17 year old was Chris browns TWIN. All my girlfriends thought I was delusional, saying he looked nothing like Chris brown. But that was the first impression I had from him and who he reminded me of for whatever reason….

We ended up being together for 6 years and still very close today. When we got into a relationship on paper it seemed meant to be. People at work, family and friends would call us Mom and dad. They would say we argued like husband and wife at such young ages. So it was like we continued our relationship becuase it was SO ideal. But internally I could never say or felt that he was the one for me. Like i never saw myself marrying him even though we already lived like we were married.

This is where the KARMA comes in. When I was younger my parents had an on and off relationship. My mom was 15 and my dad was 18 met in high school. They tried to make it work for almost 10 years but never married. As a young girl I used to tell my mom they were meant for each other.

From the outside looking in my parents were BESTFRIENDS, they made it each other laugh and it was so easy. But when they fought it was DESTRUCTIVE and TOXIC and OFTEN. One minute there love birds next they hate each other in matter of hours.

Low and Behold my dad is a Leo rising and my mom Aquarius rising rising.

Opposites attracting ‼️‼️

Back to my relationship and the chris brown comment.. my ex is a Taurus rising but has NO Taurus placements he’s a Aquarius sun lol Chris brown is a TAURUS sun and moon.

As a Scorpio rising I’m always going to be attracted to Taurus energy.

The karma or lesson with this attraction is teaching you the downside and downfall to the typical ideal relationship. It draws you in and things move quick and fast but the lack of actually getting know each other is a recipe for disaster. There’s a underlying feeling of missing something in the relationship you feel but can’t figure out what it is.

The ascendant partner presents themselves like the ONE. But together you don’t agree or understand each other to feel that true love. This is why I brought up the 4th house examplesS

Scorpio rising- 4th house home is sacred but to me home will always be detached and I have to feel like an individual. I’m not attached to my family.

Taurus rising 4th - he desperately wants that traditional home and wife. No matter how bad his family acts he will never turrn his back away from his family .

-Hence one of our biggest consistent arguments was about family.

Another example 5th house

Scorpio rising- Pisces I am very spiritual and dream like when it comes to my expression, fun and romantic energy.

Taurus rising - Virgo he is very boring. Doesn’t care to explore and would rather do practical things.

The most important parts of ourselves our literally OPPOSITES. So not only did I learn that lesson in Ideal love but also understood and forgave my parents Becuase I used to believe they didn’t try hard enough. But they were only surface level compatible. The rest of their placements show why they weren’t compatible.

[starshcwer]

( baldur's gate 3 starters (part 2) | @opyre )

❝ you startled me. i…i was miles away. ❞

she'd felt this before, when she'd first seen clive after a lifetime. it had taken her what felt like both an age & an instant to recognize him but, once she had, all of the ( thankfully empty ) tankards that she'd been carrying had fallen from her hands, causing a scene she hadn't intended. she remembered little of that moment other than her sudden struggle to breathe & martha's concerned voice coming from what had felt like far away.

luckily, she was better prepared when she'd seen joshua. her hands were empty, & the sight of phoenix's dominant didn't send her into the panic that once would have taken over her. instead, she spent time studying his eyes, his face, the curve of his cheeks, & she could see the resemblance from the boy from so many years ago. she could remember standing in rosalith castle, her body leaning to look around the body of the man in front of her ( despite her mother's whisper of ❛ be still, tifa. ❜ ) so she could see as the heir to the ducal throne bestowed a sacred & ancient rite upon his upon his brother–––– his first shield. she could remember feeling pride for the traditions of her people for the first time & joining in the cheers so loudly her voice had vanished by the evening.

they had all been so happy, just for their lives to be torn asunder less than a year later.

upon seeing him again, alive & just as grown as she, tifa had hesitated. she'd kept her head down & focused on her tasks in the hideaway. speaking with clive had been a necessity, but there had been no reason to bother joshua–––– not when he certainly didn't remember her, who had been just another face in the crowd of his future subjects. no, she hadn't needed to trouble him.

until, this moment. tifa had spent extra time cleaning the tub & crown. most of the residents of the hideaway were resting when she finally finished, & she intended her walk to her bunk to be a leisurely one, but she paused at a lone figure standing by the docks. joshua, alone in the darkness, watching the blighted waters. instinct told her to keep moving, to leave him be, but she couldn't find it within her to depart for bed without checking to see if he was alright.

though she made no effort to hide her steps, he didn't seem to notice her, & she mustered up the courage to call out to him, her hand reaching up.

❛ my lord? ❜

he jumped the instant her hand brushed his shoulder, causing her to do the same. for a moment he looked ready to draw a sword that wasn't even at his side. his explanation almost made her laugh–––– startling a man with the magic inside him to become an eikon certainly hadn't been something that she'd forseen herself able to do–––– but she managed an apology instead.

❛ forgive me, that wasn't my intention. i just wanted to make sure you were alright. you looked... ❜

just as he said, as if he was miles away. as though his mind had wandered to a place his spirit & body could not follow, & she knew well the dangers of attempting. tifa left her statement unfinished.

❛ are you okay? ❜

whether or not he would share the thoughts that plagued his mind with her was a mystery but, should she be given the chance, she would gladly help him carry whatever burden was weighing him down.

[hildathesaint]

Hilda's herborium: Rosemary

Scientific name: Salvia rosmarinus

Native Habitat: Mediterranean

Magical qualities:

-protection

-banishing

-remembrance

-purifying

-death magick

-love

Description:

Rosemary is described as a woody, perennial herb that can become a bushy shrub. The leaves are evergreen and needlelike in shape, and they produce the essential oil that gives rosemary its characteristic scent. They are dark green on the upper side, and the underside has a dense covering of short, white, woolly hairs. Some varieties of rosemary grow in an upright form, and stalks can reach five feet tall. Other varieties have a trailing form with the branches curving downward into a cascade effect. The small flowers of rosemary can be blue, violet, purple, pink, or white, depending on the variety. They are fragrant and attract bees, butterflies, and some birds, which the plant depends on for pollination.

Folklore:

Rosemary is one of the most important Old World magickal herbs. It was associated with Aphrodite/Venus (Rosemary's name means “dew of the sea” in Latin). Later, it became linked to the Virgin Mary, who is said to have given the plant its blue blossoms when she rested her blue mantle on a bush.

Rosemary has a long history. It is native to the Mediterranean region and written evidence of it first appeared on stone tablets in Mesopotamia from around 5000BC. The Ancient Egyptians used rosemary in their burial rituals, maybe due to its antifungal and antibacterial properties which would have helped in the mummifying process. Sprigs of it have been found in tombs from as early as 3000BC.

During the Middle Ages (5th to the 15th centuries) it was used to ward off negative energies and evil. It was placed under pillows to ward off nightmares and was burned in houses to keep away the plague. The idea that rosemary provided protection and purification still continues today and it is often used to purify sacred places.

It used to be very common for a couple getting married to incorporate rosemary into their wedding. The bride would wear a headdress which would feature rosemary and the groom and guests would also wear a sprig attached to their clothing. It’s thought that this tradition was started because rosemary could improve your memory and recall. Wearing a remembrance herb meant that it was more likely that the couple would remember their sacred vows to each other. Guests would wear rosemary so that they could better remember the event. Rosemary would be planted at the door of the newlyweds’ home, the idea being that if the plant took root and flourished, the marriage would too. The traditional use of it at weddings meant that it soon became known as a love herb and was included in many love spells and charms.

Although Rosemary is generally now counted as a Masculine/Solar herb, the feminine association was stronger once upon a time. An old saying has it, “Where Rosemary grows, the woman rules.” It was said that Rosemary would only flourish in a garden where the lady of the house wore the pants. Because of this saying, men often forbid rosemary in their home. (Lol)

Christians once believed that the Rosemary plant echoed the life of Christ, growing for 33 years to the height of a man, then perishing. Rosemary also banished nightmares: according to a letter sent by Jeanne of Valois (1294 – 1342) to her daughter Queen Phillippa (wife of our Edward III), laying a sprig of Rosemary under the head of a sleeping man “doth away evell sprirites and suffereth not the dreeme fowl dremes ne to be afearde.”

Quotes about Rosemary:

"There's rosemary, that's for remembrance. Pray you, love, remember." -William Shakespeare

"I plant rosemary all over the garden, so pleasant is it to know that at every few steps one may draw the kindly branchlets through one's hand, and have the enjoyment of their incomparable incense; and I grow it against walls, so that the sun may draw out its inexhaustible sweetness to greet me as I pass." -Gertrude Jekyll

"I try to do nothing. I drink rosemary when I have a lot of work to do. People take coffee, they take speed, whatever. I take rosemary." -Agnes Varda

"As for rosemary, I let it run all over my garden walls, not only because my bees love it but because it is the herb sacred to remembrance and to friendship, whence a sprig of it hath a dumb language." -Sir Thomas More

Miss Ainslie gathered a bit of rosemary, crushing it between her white fingers. "See," she said, "some of us are like that it takes a blow to find the sweetness in our souls." -Myrtle Reed

[hostagex]

Ultra Black

Chapter One

“Fuck that hurts! If you don’t finish up soon I might tap out man. Seriously, we've been going for how many hours and you’re still not done? I swear to God next time I’m gonna sit in Himiko’s chair and not yours!” His client says, pain and something akin to desperation in his voice.

“Oh don’t start with this shit again Jin.” He said with an exasperated tone of voice, doing a quick wipe down of the area before sticking the round liner shading needle into the deep obsidian ink and continuing on. The piece was coming along beautifully. A large shoulder tattoo consisting of an intricate sacred geometry tree of life morphing away into stippled dots.

“We both know you wouldn’t tap and risk me not finishing while I’m ahead. Besides, I’m at least an hour ahead of schedule. And like I said not five minutes ago, we have around thirty more minutes before you’re done.” With a smirk, he sets down the needle for a moment to wet a new piece of paper-towel and clear the ink off more thoroughly than with just applying some vaseline.

“Also you would never be brave enough to sit in Himiko’s chair. You’re way too chicken-shit!” The artist lets out a laugh, tongue piercing glinting under the studio lights.

“Oh fuck off Deku! I will! That’s a damn promise! You hear me?!” In his need to prove his point, he shifted on the table, almost ruining the final bout of shading the artist had to finish up on.

“Jin, I swear to God if you move one more time you’re barred from my table and you’ll have no choice BUT to go to them for the rest of your shit!” He exclaimed, loud enough to be heard by the patrons in the lobby.

“Oh fuck! Sorry Deku!” Jin settled in once more, his face still showing his distaste of his artist's words. “Anyways, like I was saying…I have a plan. It’s foolproof ya hear? It’s a five step plan to get that angel to go out with me and become mine…” Jin trailed off, sighing lovingly. Just as he was about to go into detail about his plan, the buzzing of the needle stopped.

“I’ve heard that a million times dude. Everyone is dying to get in their pants. But just a heads up, it’ll take more than a shoddy plan to get with them I can promise you that” He said, a slight smile on his lips before his tongue poked through and touched the top ball of his vertical labret, a habit he had yet to shake. He wiped down the tattoo and shifted himself off the wheeling stool and stood up, walking over to his designated trash can to chuck his black sterile gloves as well as black surgical mask.

“Alright, we are all done man. Take a look in the mirror and let me know your final thoughts. While you’re at it, go ahead and say hey to Himiko and get that plan you’re so sure about started.” He said with a cheeky grin and wink, adjusting his round glasses and leaning back against the wall next to the sink, his arms and legs crossed, sporting all-black attire with black combat boots to match.

Deku, award winning tattoo artist and owner of Ultra Black Tattoo. Known to the public as an uber-talented artist who got his big break back when he was fresh out of high school, being mentored by none other than world-renowned American traditional-style artist Toshinori Yagi. For five steady years he was apprenticing with Toshinori before eventually deciding to open up his own shop with his specialty being that of fine line black and gray.

That’s the public image he carefully crafted while spending his years apprenticing. The personal image not many get to see is that of Izuku Midoriya. Son of Inko Midoriya, father leaving before he could even utter his first word, which just so happened to be art. Izuku spent his formidable years with his hands constantly on a paintbrush, never leaving the house without some sort of notebook to draw in. Growing up, he always felt like an outcast, what with him not having a father in the house and his mother working two, sometimes three, jobs in order to keep the house up and running. He always happened to be bullied for not having the newest clothes or for wearing his red high-top converse, a thirteenth birthday gift from his mother, so much that they had holes in them. Art ended up being his only solace from all the noise of the crowd.

One day, in his first year of high school, his teacher, Shota Aizawa, told him something he would never forget until the day he died. That magic doesn’t come from talent alone, it comes from pain. That all the pain and suffering he was going through or would experience in life, would turn into something magical and worthwhile. That you don’t get beauty just by being lucky or good at something. That true beauty comes from deep personal emotion. The quote meant so much to him that the moment he was legal, he took some of his savings and took the train to his now mentor and got his first tattoo. The quote his high school teacher had said to him in his time of need atop his chest, right over his heart. The tattoo was the first of many, and Izuku’s first look into the cruel, beautiful, rough, magnificent tattoo industry.

With a grunt from his client, Izuku was brought out of his daze just enough to see him show a particular finger in the air. Jin walked over to the oversized mirror on the other side of the studio, taking in his new piece of art permanently on him. He let out a low whistle and grinned from ear-to-ear.

“Shit Deku you really outdid yourself with this one.” Jin said, looking up and down and from different angles, even taking a few pictures of his new art. Izuku shoved himself off the nearby wall and walked over to his client, putting his hand on the non-tattooed shoulder. “Yeah, yeah you always say that. This is what? The eighth piece you’ve gotten from me? In what? A year? I bet you would break out into hives if you even thought of going to another artist!” Izuku exclaimed, laughing.

Jin blushed softly before shoving the artist's hand away and walking back over to the table, taking a seat. “Just wrap me up will you? I have shit to do and I can’t take all day getting some ink.”

Hearing this, Izuku raised one of his brows coyly and walked back over to his client. He opened up his drawer and put on a fresh set of gloves before taking out the tegaderm and applying an even film over the fresh piece. “You don’t have all day? Jin I’ve heard what you do for work and I know for a fact you have plenty of time on your hands. So spill. What has your dick all in a knot?” Tegaderm applied, Izuku discarded his gloves once more and began the process of disassembling his tattoo gun and throwing away the used needle into the biohazard container.

“First of all, fuck you. Second of all, today is the soft opening of that new flower shop on the other side of town and they have a special where if you buy a bouquet they’ll include a second smaller bouquet for free.” Jin brings his arm up and rubs the back of his head, blushing like a fool in the process. “And I thought it might be nice to get, uh, Himiko some flowers ya know?”

Hearing this, Izuku bent forward and started cackling like a mad man.”Jin you fucking sap! There’s no way in hell you think they’re going to be into all this frilly girly shit? Himiko? The person who on numerous occasions has had to put you in your place because you made some shitty ass ‘that’s what she said’ jokes?” Izuku continued to laugh, causing his other artists and the people in the lobby to look over. His client punched him in the arm, hard.

“I’m being serious asshat! Besides, who doesn’t like flowers? Just because they’re non-binary doesn’t mean they don’t like flowers? I mean, if anything you’re kind of sexist for assuming they wouldn’t…” Jin said, eyebrows raised. Izuku sighed and began walking over to the reception area, signaling his client it was time to pay and to follow in his stead.

“Jin, you know I’m not saying anything like that. I just know them personally. You’ve only known them from seeing quick peaks every now and then when you get some work done. But if you think flowers are the way to their heart then go for it my guy. The stage is all yours. I’ll even send you a text letting you know how the flower-receiving goes.” He said with a genuine smile. Jin broke out in a grin and hugged the artist over the reception counter.

“Thanks man! That means so much! I’ll be sure to let you know the day they’re being delivered too!” He said as he was heading out the door of the shop.

“Wait hold up! I didn’t catch the name of the shop! What was it again so I know what to expect and from where?” Izuku called out across the room.

“Oh shit sorry! The place is called Dynamite Flowers!”

——————

After closing up the shop, Izuku took the train back to his apartment. A spacious two bed, one bath, on the fourth floor with a view overlooking the downtown area. Putting the key into the lock, he turned it and opened the door. Immediately being jumped on by a fellow member of his family.

“Hi there Inky! Did you miss me today girl?” Izuku asked with a big smile on his face. The dog, Inky, a mutt Izuku adopted from the nearest shelter, barked at him. The dog was a rough mixture of Chihuahua, Dachshund, and Maltese. All coming together, she looked to be a small, long, ball of tan fur. The dog barked at her owner once more before running around in the living room as well as the adjoined kitchen.

Izuku laughed and set down his work backpack on the floor and kicked off his boots before setting his keys down on the entryway table. “Yeah yeah I know it was a long day without me huh? Well don’t worry girl tomorrow is my off day and you get me all to yourself! How does that sound?” He said with a bright smile. In return, the dog gave him a bark. The man laughed and walked over to the kitchen, getting food ready for both himself and his companion.

“What are we feelin’ today Inky? Chicken? Beef? Or salmon?” Right as the word slipped his tongue, the fluff all barked. “Alright, alright I hear you! Salmon it is!” Grabbing the corresponding can, he opened it and poured the contents out over a bit of dry pellets. “Now don’t forget to eat your crunchies too. I know you like the wet stuff the most but the crunchies are what’s good for you!” Almost as if the dog could understand him, she let out a huff of disagreement. Izuku laughed and set down the bowl on the floor and let the dog go to town on her nightly meal.

“Alright. Now that that’s all taken care of…” Izuku sighed and padded over to his master bedroom. Opening the closet, he took off his long-sleeved black turtleneck shirt and tight black skinny jeans, leaving him only in his mismatched socks and stark white Calvin Klein briefs. He shoved the days clothes into his laundry basket and decided to wear an old tattoo convention T-shirt for the night.

Walking back into the kitchen, Izuku spotted Inky on top of the couch curled into a ball, content after finishing her meal. Izuku looked down at the food bowl and noticed a substantial amount of pellets left. He smirked and let out a low huff of laughter. “Damn traitor. This is the thanks I get for giving you a 5 star meal?” He smiled and begins the process of getting his own dinner ready. The process takes all of 5 minutes before he realizes there in nothing enticing in either the cabinets or the refrigerator.

“Shit. It looks like tomorrow is grocery day.” Izuku sighs before picking up his front from the counter and setting himself alongside his companion. Scrolling through the food delivery app, he decides on pizza. “Better than a salad, huh Inks?” Izuku asks the sleeping dog, only receiving small sleep noises in return. Izuku smiles and places the order, settling in and putting his phone down.

The man must have fallen asleep because he was woken up by the harsh pounding of his front door. Izuku jolted awake and quickly shuffled his way to the door, nearly taking a face plant in the process. He opened the door and what stood before him was hardly his large cheese pizza. It was a tall, built man with spiky blonde hair and deep ember-colored eyes. Izuku gulped and gave the man a quick look up and down. He happened to be wearing a plain white T-shirt, loose fitting blue jeans, and a black apron. What got him was the wording on the apron. Dynamite Flowers.

“Hey are you going to just stand there or are you going to take these? I don’t have all day, dude.” The blonde gruffly said to him. Izuku was snapped out of his daze and looked into the other man’s eyes again. “Um yeah sure. Um.. take what exactly?”

“Tch. These flowers, dumbass. I have more deliveries to do so I can‘t just stand around here all day.” He said with a harsh tone of voice. Looking down more closely, Izuku noticed there was a bouquet of sunflowers and roses in the man’s hands. The bouquet that was being delivered to him apparently. “Oh shit my bad!” He took hold of the bouquet, hands skimming that of the man in front of him.

“Great. Now that that’s all taken care of…” The man gave a quick two finger salute and spun around, rushing off to the stairwell.

“Wait! I didn’t catch your name!” Izuku shouted out after him.

“…rd.” He heard coming from down the hall. Not sure what he heard, he looked down at the bouquet and took out the attached business card. Dynamite Flowers. Owned and operated by Katsuki Bakugo.

“Katsuki, huh?” He said aloud to himself before closing the front door and setting the flowers down on the entryway table.

If you liked this chapter pls show your support on AO3 ❤️

[thestars-aremycanvas]

Fifty miles north of Los Angeles, in the woodsy hills of Topanga Canyon, a hundred women gather in a community hall to celebrate the season of the year—and themselves—as sacred. Some bedazzle you with glitter-spangled cheeks, flowing skirts, and bold jewelry, while others move about at ease in T-shirts and loose-fitting jeans. They range not only in style but in age, size, able-bodiedness, and to a degree, in ethnicity.

A woman to the right of me places her palm in my hand. I reach out with my left, and a hand takes mine. We stand side by side and I look around the room at the circle of women. A mere whisper of a base tone emerges; subtly, the energy in the room shifts as this sound claims its place as focal point. The murmur gains as a hundred throats join in creating a vibrating unified hum of “mmmmm.” The tone is meditative, deep, and rich; similar to the chants of Buddhist monks, it begins deep in the back of the throat and vibrates the sinuses. My head falls back a little, and my eyes close. But the sound does not remain calm; slowly, it intensifies. No longer humming a mere “mmmmm,” some women begin to open their mouths to produce a sound that calls from deep within their bellies. My head draws forward in attentiveness. The opened mouths pronounce an “aaaaah” that draws me in further, listening, observant, joining. My mouth too hums and opens, following their song. The resonances harmonize. Some women move on after a few moments of having held this tone, filling each new pitch and then gradually raising it to the next level. As each woman feels ready, her voice rises to the next tone. As the tone climbs, so does the energy intensify. The timbre is reached again and then there is another breaking away to climb even higher. Goose bumps rise on my arms. I inhale deeply and again follow the chorus, starting at the “mmmmm” with my last tone and raising it to the next level as my mouth opens, joining in their harmonious summons: “mmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” And yet again the tone rises a level, and again, “Maaaaah” is mouthed with each full exhalation. Energy lifts the room. It no longer feels meditative or calm, but dynamic, enlivened. The power ricochets off the walls, intensified, rising with each higher frequency, again, and again! The women’s voices near the pitch of a cry. The wailing awakens a visceral longing for a near-forgotten presence; it summons the appearance of a lived experience. Hand in hand the sound of one hundred circled voices cry out for “Ma.” The intensity nears bursting. Then the chant drops to a soft hum that retains a resonance of energy now lifted, stabilized, and unified in focus: a backdrop for the first invocation that invites into the sacred space the elemental forces of Air. All turn simultaneously toward one wall, in the direction of the east. A woman standing farthest in the eastern direction calls out an invitation to the element of Air: breath of life, drifting inspirations, Spirit. She calls out, venerates and invites the Element’s powers. Simultaneously, around the circle arms raise in a gesture of welcome and invocation. The women face each of the four directions in turn and summonses are made to each associated element: Fire in the south, Water in the west, and Earth in the north. The final invocation welcomes the Goddess Herself; this takes place at the Center of the now-cast circle. In this manner the Dianic Witches draw the Elements of life into the space before the main ritual begins. But even this was not the beginning. My perception that the Dianic tradition offers something exceptional arose out of that initial experience of the “Ma” chant. Dianics are reputed to create “the most powerful” rituals of all the Pagans, meaning that their rituals raise the most energy. Yet the sheer intensity of the energy was not what made my first Dianic ritual so striking, so beyond anything I had experienced in the Pagan community. The sense that I was in a truly different space occurred in the few moments of that chant, calling for Ma, and the fact that there were over a hundred women–and only women–present. I was attracted by a knowing, an experience, of something other than what traditional, man-made society prescribes.

Re-riting Woman - Kristy S. Coleman

[myhappylee]

Hey there, Happy Tuesday!

How's it going? I hope you had a great weekend and your week is going great!

Just wanted to share a quick life update and talk about our creative journeys. I've been trying to stay mindful, and one way I'm doing it is by journaling and creating this weekly newsletter, I hope I can maintain this. It's a bit of a challenge, but it's helping me reflect. What about you? How do you stay mindful?

My weekend started with a change of pace – journaling. It had been a while since I enjoyed this simple pleasure, a break from my usual drawing activities. The combination of journaling and a cup of coffee was pure happiness.

Come Saturday afternoon, I found myself at Wereldcafe, ready to join the Shut Up and Write group. This group has become a cherished part of my life ever since I first arrived in Belgium last year. I proudly consider myself one of its first members, and I've created meaningful friendships along the way. Our Saturdays were dedicated to one sacred hour of uninterrupted writing. For me, it was a chance to craft my social media content and, now, my Patreon and blog posts as well.

Upcoming Vlog

I'm gearing up to release a new YouTube video, showcasing a timelapse of one of my current traditional art pieces for Peachtober. In the pipeline, there's also a digital artwork feature slated for the following week. Amidst juggling client commissions and personal projects, I'm diligently organizing my content for the week.

Peachtober Progress

I'm thrilled to see the positive response on my social media as I continue daily Peachtober postings. The challenge is a blast, and while I hope to complete all the prompts, the journey itself has been a joy so far.

Anticipating Folktale Week

Even though Peachtober is still in full swing, I can't help but notice the growing excitement around Folktale Week. I'm itching to dive into this challenge later this month. Are any of you planning to join in? Or perhaps, there's another challenge you're looking forward to?

Thoughts lately

Last week, I found myself stressing over work and life. I felt I wasn't doing enough for my creative goals. I'm currently swamped with client work, which I'm grateful for, but I'm also putting too much pressure on my social media presence, and I'm not sure why. Ultimately, I'm seeking fulfillment and genuine connections. I don't know where this path will lead, but I'm curious to find out. Do you ever feel the same way?

[suckitsurveys]

When was the last time you were bitten by an animal? What kind of animal was it? A kitty cat bit me the other day. Not enough to draw blood though.

When was the last time you had sex/did something sexual? How was it? The other night. It was pretty great.

When was the last time you did something illegal? What did you do? Drove without my seat belt.

What was the last colour you dyed your hair? Blue.

Tell me about the first five photos you have on your phone or camera. My phone organizes my pictures so weirdly now I hate it. And I’m not scrolling to find the first 5 pictures.

Who was the last person you know to have something big happen to them (i.e., get engaged/married, have a baby, etc.)? Ellen bought a condo and Liz got married!

Is there anybody over the age of 40 that you think is hot? Yes.

Have you ever been punched in the face? Nope.

Do you have to watch yourself in the mirror while you brush your teeth? No.

Do you think your last ex deserves to die? No.

How’s the love life going? It’s so amazing, I’m so in love with Mark.

Do you think the last person you Facebook messaged is a virgin? See the second question for this answer.

Have you ever had someone drag his or her nails down your back? Yes.

If you’ve been hurt in a past relationship, are you more jaded this time around? Eh.

[TW: ABUSE] Have you ever been in a physically abusive relationship? No.

Have you ever felt more like you needed someone, and less like you loved that person? No.

Is there any habit, attachment, or addiction that you feel you have beaten or risen above? Uh huh.

Have you ever lived with a friend? Nah.

Have you ever only liked someone because you found out they liked you? No

Do you think people act weirder or that stranger things happen when there’s a full moon? Not particularly.

Do you think you would make a good parent someday? Nope.

In which were you happiest: elementary, middle, or high school? Elementary.

Have you ever written something on a street sign? I have not.

Life is nothing without passion. What are your passions? The people in my life.

How’s the weather lately? It’s fall and cold and blah.

You can bring back one dead pet to life. Which one? Jessie, my childhood kitty.

Is there a pillowcase on your pillow? Describe it: Yeah. It’s blue.

School: what classes are you taking at the moment? I haven’t been in school in years.

What scent is your deodorant? It has powdery and floral notes.

Are you happy with what you see when you look in the mirror? Hahahahahahhhahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Does it get super hot in the summer where you live? Yeah.

Would you ever date someone of the same sex? I wouldn’t date anyone right now because I am married and plan on staying that way, but I am bisexual.

If you HAD to be raised by another family member than you were, who? My cousin Kelly.

Do you like reptiles as pets, or do they gross you out? I wouldn’t mind one but my cats would go crazy.

Favorite type of seafood? Crab! I love mostly all seafood, but crab is my favorite.

Are you more traditional or progressive? Progressive.

How long was your longest relationship? 13 years and counting.

Did you ever honestly believe you were going to marry your highschool bf/gf? I didn’t have a high school bf.

Are you a virgin? Do you believe virginity is “sacred?” No and no.

Would you say that you have a lot of friends? I have a small handful of friends.

Are both your parents alive? Just my dad.

Were you raised by your biological parents? Yes.

Has your family ever been broken? Eh.

Do you think your parents respect your space? They always have.

Are you close with you siblings, if you have any? Sort of.

Have you ever in anger told your parent(s) that you hated them? What kid hasn’t?

What’s your favourite Thai dish? Massaman curry.

Have you ever been on a date with someone you met online? How was it? Yup. We have been together 13 and a half years now.

What sort of games do you like to play? I like all kinds of games really; card games, board games, some video games, some computer/phone games.

What was the last candy you ate? Reece’s Pieces.

Do you know anyone who is deaf? No.

Do you eat or drink as soon as you wake up, or do you wait a while? Not as soon as I get up, no.

What’s your favourite kind of Oreo? Double Stuf.

Do you play any games on your phone? If so, tell me about one. I play Skip Bo on my on my phone a lot. And sometime Happy Color, which is a color by numbers game.

Do you have more male or female coworkers? I’m literally the only female.

What’s the longest stretch of time you’ve spent completely alone? Uhhhh Not sure.

Do you have the same color eyes as your mother? Yes.

Have you ever been put to sleep for surgery? Nope.

When was the last time you went bowling? Oh it’s been a while. I wouldn’t mind going again sometime soon.

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? Yes.

Do you have piercings anywhere except your ears? How many and where? My right nostril.

What’s your opinion on leggings as pants? They’re legit, I love leggings.

Who was the last person you were in love with for more than a year? My husband.

Do you have a secret life? Nah.

Have you ever seen the last person you kissed without a shirt? Yeah.

Do your parents know EVERYTHING about you? No.

Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? Chocolate.

If you had to get a piercing right now, what would it be? I’d get another ear piercing.

The last time you held a baby: Sometime in the last 3 years.

Does your mom eat meat? She passed 11 years ago.

What would be your reaction if one of your parents said they were having another kid? ^

How do you feel about snails? They’re okay.

Are you physically affectionate with your friends? Sometimes.

Do you kill spiders when you see them? No, I let them be especially if they aren’t bothering me.

Would you ever adopt a child? No.

Do you like your name’s meaning? Sure, it’s simple and sweet.

Do you and your mom look like sisters? --

Are you the same height as your mom? --

What subjects do you like to read about? Idk.

Are there any (obviously fictional) villains you can’t help but love? I can’t think of anyone right now.

Can you name a villain who you could kind of side with? Eh.

What color eyes does your significant other (or crush) have? (If applicable.) Brown.

Does anything around your home need repairing? Our oven hasn’t worked in like 4 years oops hahaha. We use our toaster oven since it’s just the two of us.

[sagechan]

Ask game questions for my beloved!

3. What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer?

12. What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it?

21. Share your favorite piece of dialogue

hi friend hi my beloved Major this is from so long ago but here i am at last answering these questions from what i am sure was an ask-game about fanfic writing!

3. What's something you learned about yourself as a writer?

Apparently I'm fairly good at adapting my writing to make it feel like it fits in with whatever genre/series/style it needs to! i think it was @todaddyroki who first mentioned that in one comment on AO3! like a chameleon loll

12. What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it?

I think probably my zukaang fic actually, the crown ain't worth much, and no it's definitely not finished lol. it's been sitting there with only 2 chapters posted since like 2018 lol. i think it's hard to write it, and honestly hard for me to write for ATLA in general, because i've known that show for so long it's ingrained in my being. the show is the show. it is what happens. and to try to change or add to that in fanfiction seems, idk, like icarus reaching for the sun? like, how could i ever hope to make something as good lol. which isn't true! but it definitely is a block when i'm writing or even thinking about writing for ATLA haha

21. Share your favorite piece of dialogue.

[Okay i didn't go past my first page of works on AO3, but within the last couple years i wrote a single fic for LOTR: Rings of Power, and this bit between Elrond and Durin is one of my favorite moments i've written in a while]

“Am I correct in assuming it is very sacred to share such a name with another?”

Durin took a drink from the canteen, then set it on the ground beside his foot. “It is. We do not share our birthing-names with those outside our race, for we are a people close to kin and buried under mountains of age-old tradition and suspicions. My mother knew it; she gave it the moment I was born. My father does not know it, for he was not at my birth, and my Common use-name had already been given. I will not tell him it till he draws the breath before his very last. My Disa knows it; we whispered our Names to each other one night after Gerda was born, so full of love were we for our children and each other. Some of my closest friends knew it, but many have died or drifted from my hearth. Now none remain but Disa to share in such knowledge.”

Elrond arched one elegant eyebrow. “It seems a lonely life, to be named twice but known only once by those closest to you.”

“You would know me more than once then, Elf?”

“I would know you in the darkest cave, Durin,” Elrond said. “I would know you.”

thank you for the questions my dear!! <3<3<3

[greenmansgrove]

I struggle to feel qualified to do my own readings…

and I also struggle to understand my self-readings. I worry for bad news, I worry for bias, I worry for missing something. And yet, I still feel called to perform readings, particularly in the times of strife I’m experiencing now. I actually performed this reading the night of my birthday — a yearly tradition.

I mainly use John Matthew and Will Worthington’s Green Man Tree Oracle, which is just a illustrated ogham deck and even includes the Forfeda. Saturday’s reading was as follows:

Ivy / Gort - Call upon those around you.

Vine / Muin - Consider what you hold dear; learn to let go.

Elder / Ruis - Sometimes we must make sacrifices.

*sigh* When I most need the readings, they always rip me to shreds. Given my predisposition towards hyper-independence, I know that I am being called not only to draw from my community for support, but also, given the difficulties I am experiencing, think about what matters most in these times and understand that, even if I have to give up what I want most at this time, that the blessings after such a sacrifice may increase.

It doesn’t feel fair, but I know there is truth in it. It hurts to hear when I spent so many year in deep material and emotional insecurity. I was beginning to resent this reading. What happened to my “protection” and safety I thought my first ogham reading had assured me I’d had in drawing Rowan / Luis two years ago? Just when I thought I was finally reaching stability, it all falls away before me.

I thought of The Morrigan, too. Chiefmost among her signs to me has been Elder / Ruis. It is how she lets me know she is near and watching. Thrice now I have found it growing in places dear and sacred to me. But it almost never comes up in my readings. The first and only other time I have pulled Elder was in the reading I performed for myself in September, when I began my dedications to and preparations for joining The Order of the Morrigan. At that time, I understood it to be confirmation of what she wanted of me, but perhaps it was also a warning of what was to come and something for which she was trying to prepare me.

Now I pull Elder again, when I know exactly what sacrifices are being asked of me. It is not necessarily a physical sacrifice or a sacrifice to the Morrigan, but a sacrifice of something towards which I had worked hard and which I may now need to put off in favor of focusing on what matters most. I almost resent this, too.

I admit that in working with the Morrigan, I fear being tested. I loathe the idea of a god testing my faith and resolve. Perhaps others are comfortable with it, as is their prerogative, but given my own religious trauma, I feel it is a breech of trust and mutual faith, and it is a boundary I have sought to set with the Morrigan since making my dedication. Was she testing me now? Or was she punishing me? That, too, I loathed, because as much as I reflect, I struggle to think of what I could have done and how to make amends.

I required clarity. Thus, I pulled from my Oracle of the Morrigan illustrated by Morrigan Oran. I had officially dedicated this tool to the Morrigan earlier in the week during the full moon, and I was nervous about my ability to interpret the abstract symbolism, but I needed clarity from the Great Queens herself. She would want me to stretch my oracular skills.

After shuffling the deck several times with my question in mind, I pulled the “Cycles” card. I took a long, hard stare at the card and read the little booklet’s entry, which the illustrator had channeled in her creation of the artwork. At first, I was only more frustrated at the vagueness. But soon enough, at least one meaning dawned on me, and it was almost as if I could hear the Morrigan saying,

This is all part of a Cycle. There will always be bad times. Neither you nor I can prevent them all, no matter how much you pray or what sacrifices you make. It is the way of things.

Though I still worry for bias, I found this comforting. Perhaps I am not actually being tested or punished. Perhaps this is not more of the same through which I have struggled in the years prior and against which I have been bracing. Perhaps I am just in a bad spot, and I can and will pull through.

I suppose I have the skills and resources on which to pull. I want to put my faith in this reading and find the will and confidence to keep moving and accept the sacrifices I must make. I am scared to, but I know I can.