#But right now I’m gonna go collapse in bed & sleep like a rock. G’night all.

[inga-don-studio]

I’ll brb - narrowly made it to my weekend and I can barely keep my eyes open, so I’m going to pause the queue so I can sort it when I don’t have scrambled eggs for brains.

[jamesdeerest]

‘cause i’m a little unsteady

pairing: sirius black x reader

request: anon asked “Heyy love, I Just love your writings soo much and just saw that ur requests are open (yayyy), so, can I request an one shot (young!sirius x reader) where they live together and are engaged or summat, and he has nightmares and the reader comforts him?? Just fluff because I am dying for a little fluff in my life. It's totally okay if ur not comfortable with that, but thank u anyway:^”

notes: song: unsteady-X ambassadors. seriously, go listen!! it’s so good

warnings: description of torture, panic attack.

word count: 900

“G’night love,” Sirius murmured, pressing a sleepy kiss to your shoulder. You smiled, pulling his arm tighter over your body as you snuggled deeper into your bed. “Night, weirdo.” Soon, you drifted off, though Sirius stayed alert. His eyes burned with tiredness, but he forced them to stay open, dreading what would inevitably happen when he fell asleep. Coffee could fix tiredness, but nothing could fix the horrors that flooded his mind. Looking out the window, he looked at the stars, quickly locating his namesake, before looking back at you as you shifted in your sleep, mumbling his name. Smiling softly, he just looked at your face, memorising all the little quirks that you hated, mapping your face out in his mind. You always looked beautiful when you slept, he thought. So peaceful. Snorting quietly, he looked away again, the red light of his alarm clock reading 03:01.  He couldn’t remember the last time he even had a proper night’s sleep, let alone a peaceful one. Mind you, he’d give up all his sleep, all his everything, as long as you were happy, and safe. You being safe- that’s one thing the nightmares liked to focus on. He would wake up gasping for air, tears pricking his eyes, your screams still ringing in his ears, before looking at you, running his eyes over you, checking you were unharmed. You would pull him closer unconsciously, as if sensing his distress, and the fear would flush out of him. You were his rock, and you didn’t even know it. 

Tonight, though? Tonight was bad.

Bellatrix’s cackle taunted him as he watched you writhe in pain, your body gripped by some unseen force. Sirius yelled out, struggling against his bonds as his cousin shrieked ‘crucio’ again, your screams only intensifying. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to shut them out, but they kept getting louder and louder, until tears were streaming down his face, begging Bellatrix to stop. “Leave her, take me instead! Take me instead-” 

“Sirius!” you shouted, breaking him out of his restless sleep. He quickly sat up, breathing heavily as his eyes flashed, taking him back, until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Shaking it off, he kicked the duvet away, storming out to the kitchen.

You bit your lip, eyes watering, before steeling yourself as you got up to follow, straightening out the covers. You walked in to the kettle boiling, Sirius’ favourite mug on the counter with a teabag in it, and your boyfriend leaning against the door, his head in his hands. 

Cautiously, you approached him, careful to give him space. The kettle clicked, and you poured the water in his mug, before setting it down again. “Sirius...” He flinched, shoulders shaking. Looking up slightly, you caught sight of his red eyes, before he fell into you, sobs racking his body. “I-I just can’t, Y/N. I can’t do it anymore.” he stammered, chest heaving. “Hey hey hey, do what?” you said, rubbing his back soothingly. He paused for a minute, sighing. “Never mind, it’s stupid.” You raised an eyebrow, looking at him sternly. “Look, Sirius, I’m gonna be straight with you here- if it makes you have a fucking panic attack, it’s not stupid. Alright? Now, please. What’s going on?”

He slid down to the floor, pulling you with him as he stared at the cupboard opposite him, a stray tear rolling down his cheek. “I have these dreams.” You watched him attentively, nodding. “But in them, you’re being t-t-tortured.” You let out an involuntary gasp; that was not what you were expecting. “And if it’s not you, it’s James, or Remus, or Peter, or Lily, or Harry, and every fucking time, I can’t do anything. I just have to watch whichever of you it is, crying out for help, and I can’t fucking do anything.”

You got up to chuck the teabag in the bin, Sirius leaning over to put his foot on the pedal, before putting some milk in, and handing it to him.

“Sirius. Hey, look at me, sweetheart.” He did as you said, eyes vulnerable and lip quivering. “I’m here. I’m safe. So are the others. We can call them up, if you want, right now. But Sirius, you can’t do this alone. We’re here for each other, right? For everything. I wouldn’t have put this ring on my finger if we weren’t in it for the long run. But you’ve gotta let me support you too, Sirius. We can’t all be strong all the time, that would frankly be exhausting. Let me help you. Talk to me about this stuff, alright? About whatever. If you saw a funky looking dog, tell me. If you had the best day ever, tell me. If you had the shittiest day ever, tell me. If you just had a normal day, tell me. I’m not gonna leave you, you hear me? You ain’t getting rid of me anytime soon.” 

Sirius looked at you, fresh tears flooding his eyes, before he pulled you into a kiss, hugging you. “You’re literally perfect, you know?” You snorted, pressing a kiss to his hair. “Thank you, Y/N. Seriously, it- it means a lot.” Smiling, you pulled him up, grabbing his mug and finishing up the last dregs of tea. “No problem. Now, let’s go to bed, alright? I’m about to collapse.” And for the first time in god knows how long, the nightmares stayed at bay. 

tags: @hoewkeye @blackpinkdolan @shadylittlewonder @sassy-specter @im-eating-rn @knowledgeisthebomb

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