#But one of the things I need to do is go to the store to get food so I don't have anything less aromatic
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wileys-russo · 2 days ago
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are requests open? if so could you do a comfort blurb the prompt “i could really use a hug right now” with alessia? thanks!
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need a hug II a.russo
"oh for fuck sakes!" you swore as you knocked over a pot plant, dirt and rocks spilling out everywhere, groaning as you flicked off the vacuum.
the house falling you silent you gingerly moved the vacuum out of the way, sighing as you hunted around in the cupboard beneath the sink to try and find the dustpan and broom.
"where has she put it?" you huffed, your girlfriend having an infuriating habit of using something and never placing it back where she found it, eventually fishing it out from the bottom of the pantry.
squatting down you began to sweep up the mess, only you'd barely begun before the brush promply snapped in half. "are you joking?" you had to laugh in disbelief, now only holding the handle.
"how does that even happen?" you grunted, grabbing the jagged brush and trying to sweep up as best you could, dropping it into the garbage and vacuuming up the rest before trying to repot the poor plant as best you could and setting it aside.
you were interrupted by a few short sharp knocks at the door, grateful you hadn't started the vacuum yet and hurrying over, well aware you currently looked an absolute state.
thankfully it was only the post man and with a smile you collected the few packages addressed to your girlfriend, closing the front door and leaving them on the corner of the bed for her to deal with once she got home.
you knew alessia had been stressed lately, she was so close to finally finishing her studies but juggling that, the podcast, brand deals, appearances and football, she did well to hide it but you knew her well enough to see how thin she was wearing.
the blonde was already gone before you'd woke up, having a photo shoot and interview before training and you knew she had a rather large assignment looming over her which she'd spend hours doing once she got home.
so you'd elected to work from home today which consisted of two meetings you'd moved to the morning and an hour of admin, and freed up your entire afternoon to try and make the house as lovely and tidy as possible.
your girlfriend proudly half italian had taught you how to make pasta many times only you'd never attempted it by yourself, but you'd ducked out to the grocery store to make some for the pair of you for dinner, determined for her not to lift a single finger tonight.
only your grand plan of this large self care evening in which you'd oh so keenly do whatever your girlfriend needed to unwind was being apprehended by one thing, the fact that someone, somewhere, with some unknown grudge against you seemed to have cursed you the most rotten luck in which nothing was going to plan at all.
the tipped over plant wasn't even the start of it, accidentally near blinding yourself with a bottle of toilet bleach as you'd wrestled to get the cap off and slipped on your freshly mopped floor, almost tipping it all over your face as you'd just capped it.
then there was your coffee, a slight lapse in your concentration meaning you'd burnt your milk and then had no more left to remake it, struggling through a very unwelcome long black instead.
thankfully the next hour passed incident free, a satsified click of your tongue as you arranged the lilies you'd gotten for your favourite blonde in the crystal vase which was a present from her mum on your first christmas with the russo's.
but now perhaps the biggest mission of all, dinner.
a brief glance at your phone and you smiled seeing a few messages from your girlfriend, fingers flying as you shot back a reply and tucked your phone into your pocket.
for some extra support you'd found a video online to run you through making the dough, which you knew would be the hardest part of it all as you'd watched even your semi pro pasta making girlfriend mess it up before.
your first attempt, was an absolute dud and the only thing it would be feeding was the garbage bin.
you were beginning to get the hang of kneading while also being acutely aware that any minute now alessia would be home, and you wanted as much of this done as possible because you knew your girlfriend well enough that her first instinct would be to takeover.
sure enough not even a moment later you heard the keys in the door, almost done with putting the dough through the pasta roller and withholding a laugh as you heard a thump and a curse ring out.
"welcome home clumsy!" you called out, the blonde appearing with a playful glare and blowing you a kiss, holding up her gym bag which you knew no doubt was full of dirty laundry she'd want to put on soon as possible.
it all seemed to be going well, dough rolled and ready to be shaped, but alas, your rotten luck struck again.
you rounded the counter to grab something, but having just washed your hands and not drying them they'd clearly dripped onto the floor and before you could even blink you'd slipped and your back hit the floor.
but no, of course that wasn't it, your hand collecting the half full bag of flour and sending it toppling down on top of you, a squeal leaving your lips and footsteps thundering toward you as your girlfriend skidded into the kitchen, concern clearly plastered all over her face.
"what happened?" alessia breathed out, eyes wide at the sight before her and you buried beneath a small mountain of flour, hand smacking over her mouth as you exhaled sending a puff of white up into the air.
"i could really use a hug right now." you mumbled, grateful somewhat for the flour smeared across your cheeks covering how red they'd flushed with embarassment.
"oh baby." alessia bit her lip clearly trying to conceal a grin, gingerly treading her way across the kitchen toward you. "c'mere." the striker stood over you and offered her hands, taking yours within them and very carefully pulling you up to your feet.
you exhaled tiredly into her chest as without a second thought the taller girl wrapped you in a hug, holding tightly as her hand rubbed up and down your back soothingly.
"i was just about to say everything is so clean." the blondes body vibrated with laughter against yours as you let out a pitiful whine. "i was trying to give you a lovely clean home and hot dinner to come home to." you sighed, words a little muffled against her jumper which was now covered in flour. "hey." you looked up as hands cupped your cheeks.
"i'm coming home to you, and that's always more than enough." your girlfriend spoke firmly, bright blue eyes locked with your own as you could only nod. "i love you." you leaned up to kiss her, frowning when the blonde craned her chin away.
"hey! kiss me." you scowled, a grin curling into her lips which again dodged yours. "you are covered in flour." alessia laughed as you rolled your eyes. "so you don't love me, noted." you sighed dramatically, pulling away from her.
"oh no no no, don't you be like that." your girlfriend was quick to capture you back in her arms, spinning you around so your back was pressed against the counter.
"kiss me then." you challenged with a sly smile, the footballer sighing dramatically as if you'd just asked her to build you a house, a scoff leaving your lips before they were promptly pressed against her own.
"i love you too pretty girl."
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cometconmain · 21 hours ago
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That sounds fucking amazing and I hope we get to where you guys are on that one day. Also those names are hilarious and I love them. XD
(Heads up short rant below the keep reading in case people don't want to and let me know if this is annoying/bad etiquette on a funny lighthearted post and I'll delete it. /genuine)
Right now you have to word things very carefully to get medically prescribed weed in Australia and you certainly CANNOT tell them that you get any kind of anxiety on the wrong dosage/type or that'll undermine your point about how it helps with anxiety (it does; I've just had some shitty experiences with someone taking advantage of me being knocked out from too high a dose/deliberately dosing me to do that and now my brain immediately panics if I put even one foot past the not-at-least-50%-aware-and-able-to-push-through-in-an-emergency state of relaxed/happy/creative/calm-my-farm-because-my-brain-moves-too-fast I want and need.)
My situation is not a problem most of the time now because I say I'm a pathetic lightweight (which is true) and that I need a lower potency (also true) and that I take ridiculously tiny amounts so I really don't need much to get what I need without getting HighTM because I don't want to be (also completely true) and hell, I actually take LESS than the prescribed amount because he has me on it daily and only take it 2 times a week (3 maximum) because I like to keep my tolerance levels down because if they raise it fucks with my very careful managing of the exact amount I need which I know won't send me into a panic attack. (This part I don't say because they don't trust people to be responsible with it in my country even though they're perfectly happy letting people destroy their livers and lives with alcohol which is available in multiple stores and pretty much unregulated past the necessary laws like don't drink and drive).
I would love to be able to say all of that and not have them decide to take it off me despite how much it helps when I take it exactly the way I need to which is far less than many other people (who are also valid though they're constantly treated even worse, like they'll go full opium-level-addiction or something and that's so shit).
Crossed fingers I will one day get to see Ooga Booga Skywalker Cake on a weed store's shelves even if it's not the exact strain I need. That's fucking epic. XD
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alchemistc · 3 days ago
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Part One
Oh, I've got plenty to be thankful for
I've got eyes to see with
Ears to hear with
Arms to hug with
Lips to kiss with
Someone to adore
-bing crosby
He keeps waiting for someone to say something. To accuse him of lingering where he doesn't belong, or remind him he'd never actually made it all the way in. To tell him to go home, maybe get a halfhearted promise to let him know how Buck is at some point.
Maddie lays an exhausted head on his shoulder and Bobby sneaks him a slice of pumpkin pie he's apparently been hiding in the tote at his feet. Hen tosses him a power bank with a lightning cord and Karen makes a joke about his holiday attire.
When the coffee comes, Howie takes the trip to the lobby with him, pulls out his wallet and does his damnedest to strong arm Tommy into letting him tip the haggard looking girl another twenty bucks on top of the fifty Tommy'd figured was appropriate for having to balance a literal stack of hot beverages from the parking lot on Thanksgiving. She eyes them both with a smile and Tommy is more compelled the grab the drink carriers from her tired arms than stop Howie.
They're halfway back when Howie purposely slows his pace, and Tommy fights the urge to pick his up and avoid whatever's coming down on him. "So. Was this the wake up call you needed, or can I expect Buck to order a freezer on a Black Friday deal for my garage to store more baked goods?"
He doesn't know what that means.
He can extrapolate, though. "He's been baking?"
"Tommy, I cannot stress enough exactly how much he's been baking."
He'd tried his hand at a few things here and there, but Tommy's used to experimental chef Evan Buckley, not baking Evan Buckley. To be fair, if he'd seen Evan working a KitchenAid, apron tied loose and flour on a cheekbone, Tommy doubts he'd have actually had the time to finish whatever he had planned. That was then, of course.
"What was he doing on that trail, Howie?" That, too, he could maybe extrapolate. He doesn't want to, but he could.
Howie eyes him. Uses his free arm to elbow Tommy in the ribs. "You were the first person he ever invited to a 118 Thanksgiving, you know. My guess? He wasn't in the mood to be reminded of it while there was no room in the oven to bake away his feelings."
Yeah.
Jax had been over the moon when Tommy offered to take his shift, no trades necessary. What would the point have been, when Christmas and New Year's would be unbooked too?
Evan had bribed like six different people to ensure they'd be able to swing dinner on the day. Hobbes had sounded so thrilled to hear Tommy asking for the time off that he'd approved it without even looking at the shift.
"I'm just warning you in advance. The grovelling process is gonna involve eating your weight in loaves, most likely."
And that's that, apparently. No heavy handed warnings, no suspicion about why Tommy hasn't fucked off yet. Like it's some foregone conclusion that Tommy's not gonna panic and bolt a second time. Nothing has changed, yet Tommy gets the feeling they're all expecting some tearful reunion and a return to TommyandBuck.
Tommy slips the tea into Maddie's hands and watches her sniff it in distaste, which is an interesting nugget he'll have to revisit later if -
If.
There's no guarantees, here. That Tommy will be able to articulate how fucking terrified he is, that Evan will understand it. That the two of them will find a way through it together. All he has to go on is a solo hike on a day Evan should have been with family, an apparent bakery full of feelings spread between the 118, and the quiet calm that had washed over him when Eddie prompted him to make a decision.
Feet to the fire, he'd stayed.
---
Maddie's pregnant. It hits him between the eyes right around hour three of sit-and-wait. He's not an idiot, or a fool, and he hasn't spoken to any of these people in weeks so he's not going to announce it to the world, but somewhere in between the sporadic naps on Tommy's shoulder and the way she is attempting (failing) to power through her now cold tea makes him think. She and Bobby had driven here, and it's clear everyone else had been indulging. Maddie's no lush, but he's seen her knock back half a bottle of wine before when she's got nowhere to be.
She excuses herself to the bathroom for a third time, looking a little green, and Tommy ends up locked in a staring contest with Howie that only ends when Tommy mimes zipping his lips.
He still hasn't gotten the story about Eddie and why he's not here.
Bobby and Athena are apparently closing in on a new house.
Howie is less than a year away from having a second kid.
Athena's kids are apparently at Howie and Maddie's, attempting to keep Mara and Jee from destroying the house in the absence of adults.
And Tommy wants.
Wanting has never really been the problem, though. Wanting is the easy part. Wanting doesn't get him over the hurdle of knowing he's not enough. For Evan, for this family he's built that just keeps growing bigger and bigger. It'd been a relief, those first few days after, not to have to wonder which member of the 118 would land in the hospital next, not to have to rearrange something else on his schedule because Evan was convinced he was cursed, or Eddie'd had another shitty call with Christopher.
The relief hadn't lasted. A week in, he'd stayed up all night demolishing the half-bath off his dining room, because he'd been putting it off for months and he'd nearly texted Evan something that was startlingly revealing and left him exposed on all sides. Two weeks in he'd finished grouting the backsplash in his kitchen. And in between, he wondered how Eddie was doing, if he'd made any progress with his son. He'd wondered if Maddie enjoyed the bottle of wine they'd brought back from a spur of the moment trip to Napa. He'd wondered how Nash was doing, if he was readjusting to having his crew and his station back. He wondered how Hen and Karen were, how many things Denny had already gotten stuck in his cast trying to ease an itch.
He'd wondered, and he'd sat in it, and then he'd rewired the shoddy work an electrician had done in his spare room that he kept telling himself he'd get around to.
The wanting never goes away. He just finds new places to put it when he starts to care too much.
"Kinard and Buckley?"
Maddie's still in the restroom. Tommy - has no fucking clue why the nurse is staring at them like they'll just materialize the right people. She sucks in her lips and gives him a dead eyed stare before her eyes dart to his chest. More specifically, the nameplate on his chest.
Tommy blinks.
---
The having is where he's always floundered. Things are temporary. People are temporary. He's always been borrowing. Borrowing time, attention, affection.
For a few months there, he'd really started to think he could handle the having. That he'd get to keep it.
---
"I'm Buckley, he's Kinard," Maddie says from somewhere over his left shoulder, and he turns in time to see her adjusting her jacket, wiping at her lip. She stabilizes, looking unfazed, and stands tall. As tall as she can, at least. "You have news about my brother?"
The nurse glances around the room. No one is bothering to pretend not to be listening. Maddie hovers a wave behind her.
"Ignore the audience, we're all waiting with bated breath to see how obnoxious my brothers going to be. It depends entirely on whether or not he gets pie tonight."
She gives them all a disapproving look. This must not be one of their normal nurses.
Christ. They have normal nurses.
"Well, no pie tonight, but he should be able to eat a sandwich in the morning."
He's fine. He's fine.
Tommy knew going in that most of his injuries were superficial. The ribs had been a concern but with the pain meds and the collar he hadn't really had a chance to exacerbate those injuries. There's no reason he should feel quite so relieved to know that Evan will have a few annoying splints to work around and he'll probably need to rehab his ankle for a couple weeks once it's healed. The concussion isn't ideal, and he'll need help for a few days, but he's fine.
Tommy can feel the tears building.
"He'll likely be out for a few more hours, but I'll let you know when he's set up in a room. Two visitors at a time," she warns. "The concussion will effect his response time. Don't be surprised if he doesn't remember much, loses his train of thought."
Hen shifts somewhere behind him. It feels a bit like she's being held back from correcting the nurse about the normal side effects.
Things move on around him. The nurse leaves, Hen passes a Stanley cup around that definitely isn't filled with water, the normal sigh of relief is released while Maddie drops into the seat next to him with a groan, the team has a strange competition around him to battle for visitor position.
Tommy breathes.
I should go, Tommy thinks to himself, as half the people in the room raise their phones.
His own phone vibrates against his thigh.
A message from Howie, time stamped two minutes - Tommy squints to make sure - two minutes ago, an update on Evan. Another from Eddie reminding them all to give Buck a patent Eddie look from him while they were giving him shit. A selfie of Eddie, with Christopher somewhat reluctantly bending into the picture over his shoulder.
In another thread, he's got three messages from Eddie.
If I have to remove you from this group I'm sending my kid after you with his crutches.
You guys hiked Griffith Park for your Not-A-One-Month-Anniversary-We-Swear date, right?
Send Buck my love. Not like that, though.
Tommy sends back: When the fuck did he add me to his emergency contacts? and then decides he doesn't want to know anyway so he turns off his phone.
---
Maddie goes alone, and Tommy spends the time alternating between tapping his foot against the tile to distraction, and clamping his hand over his knee in an attempt to stop the tapping.
Bobby and Athena go next, then Hen and Karen. Then they're pulling on jackets and promising to save a plate for Buck.
Howie slips away for a few minutes and then returns, looking amused. "You think everyone else got the same greeting?" he asks his wife, who grins tiredly at him, pats his wrist. Her gaze turns to Tommy.
"Should we stay?"
That's a trap of a question. That's an assumption Tommy doesn't have a clue how to handle. He clears his throat. Shakes a few curls loose.
"What makes you think he'd want me to?"
Maddie's perfected the unimpressed eyebrow. It must be a parent thing.
Tommy barely holds in the sigh. "Go enjoy your meal."
---
Evan's been watching the door. It's clear the moment Tommy makes it to the threshold - he presses up, winces, tips sideways just enough to peek around the corner.
"Tommy," he says, and his expression melts.
Tommy's heard some iteration of that name a million times. Tom, from his dad. Tommy, fond and quiet from his mother, who'd never really learned how to speak up before she was gone. Thomas, in school, from teachers annoyed that he wouldn't just apply himself.
He was Kinard, to teammates, then fellow soldiers, to the firefighters he'd worked alongside for a decade before he ever let any of them know him.
No one says his name with quite so much reverence as Evan Buckley. He's convinced himself, over the last few weeks, that he'd been hearing adulation in that tone. But now it just sounds...relieved. Happy.
Evan slumps back and tries to cross his arms in a pout. There are too many cords and wires attached to him for it to work. "I'm pretty sure I'm mad at you," he says, and Tommy steps over the threshold.
---
Hobbes sounds fucking thrilled to find out he's going to be down a pilot for five days.
Evan throws a fit when he finds out Tommy's plan is to sleep on his own couch for the short duration of Evan's stay. Evan wins the proceeding argument and doesn't even complain that Tommy hadn't argued too hard
Bobby brings over enough leftovers to keep them in turkey sandwiches for a week, and Tommy doesn't think to ask how he got Tommy's address.
Tommy breathes. Tommy thinks. Once Evan can hold a train of thought for more than five minutes, Tommy talks.
Evan listens.
---
"So no Christmas," Evan pouts, and Tommy wants to bite it. "And no New Year's."
Tommy shifts a hand over his shoulder, tucks his chin over top of it so he can't see the pout anymore. "We were both already working those anyway."
"Do people do anything to celebrate Presidents Day?"
"Evan."
"Tommy," Evan mocks, and pulls far enough away to catch his gaze. "In the interest of transparency that was mostly a cover so I didn't ask about Valentine's Day."
"Is this you not asking about Valentine's Day?"
His smile is deceptively sweet. "I need help with my sandwich."
Tommy's seen him balancing a glass of water, his phone, two books and a takeout bag in his one good hand. He's absolutely full of shit.
Tommy leans forward to grab the sandwich off Evan's plate for him.
---
"You should stay," Tommy says, an hour after midnight two days into the new year. He's tipsy on his second glass of cheap champagne and he can't think of a reason to keep this in, anymore. Evan crinkles a brow at him.
"I... wasn't planning to go?"
There's a gold crown perched in his curls, and Tommy still hasn't taken the cheap plastic 2025 glasses off. The house is quiet, and there'd been shockingly few fires started by fireworks this year, so he's less tired than he'd expected to be.
"I meant -." Tommy starts, and then pauses. "I meant permanently. You should live here."
Evan laughs. Takes a bite out of his cake, and rolls his eyes, and then...stops. His entire body stills. "What."
It's ridiculous. The very thing that had pushed Tommy up out of his seat just a few months ago, sent him out the loft door with wet eyes and a heaviness in his heart.
"Tommy," Evan prompts, and Tommy catches the hand frozen on the countertop. He'd planned to hold this back, wait until something significant or poignant. But Evan had baked them a red velvet cake and argued with him the entire drive back from dinner about the proper way to fold a towel, and Tommy's tired of denying this isn't everything he's refused to let himself want for decades.
"You don't have to say yes just to confirm you're not breaking up with me," he tries to joke, and it falls flat.
"Tommy," Evan murmurs, quieter but more insistent.
"I'm serious. I want you here. I want -."
"Yes," Evan says, and squeezes his hand before he ducks his head bashfully. "Sorry. Continue."
"I want a life with you." The tears tickle at the back of his throat. He's gonna fucking cry, again. He'd always fucking known opening himself up to this was just an invitation for more tears in his life.
He can't quite convince himself the rest doesn't make them worth it.
"Yes. Again. Tommy, of course." He tips his chin. Purses his lips. "If you're sure."
Tommy swallows down the lump in his throat. He's never been more sure or more terrified of anything in his life. So he tells him so.
The words are like knives, but he works his way through the soreness, fights up past the fear that he's not sure will ever completely go away, and claws past the reminder that it's been a blink of an eye since Tommy walked out on this.
"Well. You can't walk out of your own house," Evan points out when he's finished, and of all things, it's that that snaps the tension of for once in his life prioritizing something other than fucking survival. He tips a grin, curls his elbow to bring their entwined hands to his lips. "It's gonna take years to coordinate another Thanksgiving with everyone," he bemoans, looking suspiciously watery-eyed himself as he holds Tommy's own wet gaze.
Tommy can extrapolate from that.
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cece693 · 3 days ago
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Ok but like imagine both Billy and Stu with a big tiddy goth! male! reader as their roommate lol
Reader looks intimidating but is actually really nice lol
Looks Can Be Deceiving (Stu and Billy x M! Reader)
Hi! So I'm not really that well informed on the big tiddy slang (English is not my first language) but after a quick google search I think I got the idea????? If not, then I apologize, but I hope you enjoy this :)
tags: oblivious reader, realistic billy and stu (I think), pre-relationship, open ended, might be a part 2 coming
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Billy Loomis and Stu Macher weren’t exactly looking for a new friend, let alone a roommate. They’d been fine on their own, thriving in the chaos of their twisted little partnership. But when the college housing office placed them in a three-bedroom rental with some random guy, they couldn’t exactly say no. Rent was cheap, the landlord didn’t ask questions, and besides, how bad could it be?
The first time they saw you, though, they realized this arrangement was going to be
interesting.
You were standing in the living room when they arrived, setting up a bookshelf filled with horror novels and occult knickknacks. At first glance, you looked like something straight out of one of their favorite slasher films—towering, dressed in all black, tattoos peeking out from under your sleeves, with silver jewelry glinting against your pale skin. Your undercut only made you look more dangerous. Stu, never one to keep his thoughts to himself, leaned close to Billy and whispered, “Dude, do you think he’s in, like, a death cult or something?”
Billy didn’t answer, but his sharp eyes lingered on you as you turned to greet them. “Hey,” you said, your voice deep and smooth. “I made brownies. Want some?”
Stu’s jaw dropped. Billy just narrowed his eyes. And just like that, their expectations were shattered.
Over the next few days, it became clear that you weren’t at all what they expected. Despite your intimidating looks, you were ridiculously nice—almost unnervingly so. You always smiled when you saw them, greeted them with “Good morning” even if they ignored you, and even asked if they wanted anything from the grocery store before you went out. When you weren’t at class or work, you were usually in the kitchen, baking cookies or meal-prepping while blasting Bauhaus or The Cure from a tiny speaker.
Stu was instantly smitten. He started following you around like a puppy, throwing his long arms around your shoulders and declaring you his “best goth buddy.” He loved pushing your buttons just to see you scowl—like the time he “borrowed” one of your necklaces and pretended he lost it, only to give it back with an over-the-top apology. “Don’t worry,” he said, grinning up at you. “I’ll make it up to you. Wanna watch a movie? I’ll even let you pick.”
Billy, on the other hand, was harder to read. He spent a lot of time watching you from across the room, his dark eyes following your every move. You caught him staring more than once, but he always looked away before you could say anything. Unlike Stu, who was all loud jokes and obvious flirting, Billy was subtle. He’d make sarcastic comments about your goth aesthetic, only to quietly leave a new horror novel on your desk after you mentioned liking the author. He never admitted it, but you had a feeling he stayed up with you that one night you were stressed about your midterms just because he didn’t want you to be alone.
Stu and Billy’s affections, however, reached a dangerous new peak the day they stumbled into your room at the worst—or best, depending on how you looked at it—possible moment. It started innocently enough, or at least as innocently as things ever got with those two. Stu had been whining about needing help finding a charger, and Billy, clearly annoyed, suggested he ask you. Of course, "asking" wasn’t Stu’s style.
“C’mon, Big Guy!” Stu called as he shoved your door open, Billy trailing behind him. “You seen my—oh my god.”
You froze mid-motion, one arm reaching for the fresh shirt you were about to pull on, the other holding a towel you were using to dry your hair. Time seemed to stop as both of them stood there in the doorway, their eyes glued to your bare chest. No shirt. No barriers. Just you, all soft curves and broad muscle, your big tits on full display.
“Holy shit,” Stu breathed, his voice tinged with awe. His jaw practically hit the floor as he stared, unblinking. “Are you kidding me? Those things are, like, illegal.”
Billy, meanwhile, was much quieter, but no less affected. His dark eyes drank you in, his usual mask of control slipping for a moment as his gaze flicked downward, then back to your face. He swallowed hard, shifting his weight like he was trying to keep himself from stepping closer. His voice, when he finally spoke, was lower than usual. “We didn’t know you were changing.”
“No shit,” you snapped, snatching the shirt and pulling it over your head as quickly as possible. “You ever heard of knocking?”
Stu groaned, flopping dramatically against the doorframe. “Aw, don’t cover up! I was just starting to enjoy the view!”
Billy shot him a glare but didn’t argue. He was still staring at you, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “You’re...built,” he said, his tone almost grudging, like the words were being dragged out of him against his will.
“Thanks, I guess?” you muttered, tugging the hem of your shirt down and crossing your arms over your chest. You could still feel their eyes on you, and it made your skin prickle with a mix of embarrassment and something you couldn’t quite name.
Stu leaned closer, his grin widening. “Dude, do you, like, know how big those are? Like, for real? You could probably drown someone with ‘em. You want to try it out?”
“Stu,” you growled, your patience wearing thin. “Get. Out.”
Billy finally stepped in, grabbing Stu by the back of his shirt and dragging him toward the door. “Come on, idiot. Let's leave him alone.”
“But Billy!” Stu whined, digging his heels in. “I wasn’t done appreciating the—”
The door slammed shut before he could finish, leaving you standing there in stunned silence. You could hear them bickering in the hallway, Stu’s voice loud and animated as always.
“I’m just saying, those are a work of art! It’s like the Mona Lisa, but, you know, better.” “You’re an idiot,” Billy muttered, but his voice was tight, like he was holding something back.
From the moment Billy and Stu got an eyeful of your assets, the dynamic in the house spiraled into utter chaos. You’d barely noticed it at first, chalking up their constant presence to boredom or a newfound interest in hanging out. But as weeks went on, their antics became harder to ignore. The snarky comments, the heated glares exchanged when you weren’t looking, the way they tripped over themselves trying to one-up each other—it was enough to make even the most oblivious person suspicious.
But not you.
Whether it was the gym incident, the pancake debacle, or the never-ending movie night arguments, you remained blissfully unaware of the brewing storm. You were too focused on your studies, your workouts, and making sure the house didn’t descend into complete disorder to notice the increasingly absurd lengths Billy and Stu were going to for your attention.
It all came to a head one particularly tense evening. You’d gone out to grab groceries, leaving Billy and Stu alone in the house. The moment the door closed behind you, the gloves came off.
“Just admit it,” Stu said, pacing the living room like a caged animal. “You’re obsessed with him.”
Billy leaned against the wall, arms crossed, his expression icy. “Says the guy who’s practically glued to his side 24/7.”
Stu spun around, pointing an accusing finger at him. “You’re just mad because he actually laughs at my jokes. When’s the last time he smiled at you?”
Billy’s jaw clenched. “Maybe he doesn’t need a fucking circus act to enjoy someone’s company.”
“Oh, right,” Stu sneered, throwing up his hands. “Because brooding in the corner like some wannabe vampire is so charming.”
“Better than acting like a hyperactive toddler,” Billy shot back, his voice dangerously low.
The argument escalated quickly, voices rising as they hurled insults back and forth. At one point, Stu picked up a couch pillow and launched it at Billy’s head, narrowly missing. Billy retaliated by shoving Stu into the wall, and for a moment, it seemed like things were about to get physical.
But then you walked in.
“Hey, guys—what the hell is going on!?” you asked, staring at the scene in front of you: Stu pinned against the wall, Billy’s hand fisted in his shirt, both of them glaring daggers at each other. They froze, turning to look at you like two kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar.
“Uh
nothing!” Stu said quickly, plastering on his trademark grin. “Just some light wrestling. Y’know, for fun.”
Billy let go of Stu and stepped back, brushing imaginary dust off his shirt. “Yeah. Just messing around.”
You raised an eyebrow but decided not to press the issue. “Okay...well, I got pizza. It'll be in the kitchen.”
As you disappeared into the other room, the tension between them simmered, but neither of them made another move. Not yet, anyway. It wasn't until later that night, after you'd gone to bed, that Billy and Stu returned to their conversation.
“This has to stop,” Billy hissed, his voice low and cold.
Stu crossed his arms, still bristling from their earlier fight. “You think I don’t know that? But what’s your solution, huh? Scare him off so neither of us gets him? Not happening, Billy Boy.”
Billy was silent for a long moment, his jaw working as he mulled over his options. He hated the idea of sharing you—hated it almost as much as he hated the thought of Stu winning. But the alternative was losing you completely, and that wasn’t something he was willing to risk. “Fine.”
Stu blinked, caught off guard. “Fine what?”
“We share him,” Billy ground out, his teeth clenched.
Stu stared at him, and then a slow grin spread across his face. “Well, well, well. Didn’t think you had it in you to play nice.”
“Don’t push it,” Billy warned, his voice sharp. “This doesn’t mean I like you. It just means I like him more.”
Stu snickered. “Whatever you say, buddy. But hey, at least now we’re on the same team, right?”
Billy didn’t answer, turning on his heel and stalking off. Stu watched him go, still grinning to himself.
From that day forward, things
changed.
You didn’t notice the difference at first. If anything, Billy and Stu seemed to get along better, their bickering replaced with an odd sort of pact. They started spending more time together, which you figured was just a natural byproduct of living in close quarters. What you didn’t realize was that they were coordinating their efforts.
Stu would distract you with jokes and games while Billy silently took note of what you liked, using that information to his advantage later. Billy would lure you into long, intense conversations about movies and books, giving Stu time to swoop in with grand gestures—like the time he surprised you with a ridiculously elaborate cake “just because.”
If you were confused by their sudden teamwork, you didn’t show it. You just kept being your usual, oblivious self, completely unaware of the quiet, unspoken truce between them—or the way they both watched you like wolves circling their prey.
It wasn’t perfect. Billy still bristled every time Stu got a little too handsy with you, and Stu couldn’t resist making snide comments whenever Billy monopolized your time. But for the most part, they made it work. Because at the end of the day, they both wanted the same thing.
You.
And if sharing was the only way to keep you close, then so be it.
For now.
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biteyoubiteme · 3 days ago
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I'll be quick
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huening kai x fem!reader
synopsis: dress shopping with your boyfriend.
warnings: 🔞!!! slight exhibitionism, chubby reader implied, no protection, creampie mention, prob forgot some sorry
wc: 1.9k
an: thank you so much for requesting hp! im so nervous for you to read this lol I hope you like it if you don’t just put me down nicely :)) <3333
[m.list] [1kevent m.list]
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“How about this one?” you ask, smoothing your hands down the front of the silk dress you wore. It was the kind of material that should not be worn with this type of underwear; your pantie line clearly visible. Your hands went sliding down over your ass as if that would make the buckled fabric disappear. “Ignore the fact I'm wearing the wrong panties,” 
You give a slow spin in the fluorescent lights, the semicircle of mirrors reflecting every angle of your dress-clad figure at you. But all you can see is the damned line from your underwear. “Actually don't answer that, I hate it,” 
“I love it,” Kai speaks up from his spot opposite the mirrors. He's leaning back with your purse in his lap, eyes tracing up and down your body as he watches the way the material clings to you. He can imagine the way it would feel under his fingers, sliding over the expanse of your thighs. 
“You always say that,” you mutter, turning your cheek to look at the dress from the back. You can see Huening watching, eyes tacked right to the outline of your underwear. “Kai,” 
“What?” he blinks up at you like he was caught. Cheeks flushed as he pulled your bag closer to his lap.
“Is it that bad?” It was late in the day, and your usual trip to the mall was fun. Both of you could spend hours going from shop to shop, no need to buy anything but to spend time together looking at all the new things in store. It was one of your favorite things to do. 
Kai would follow you around like a little puppy, letting you pick out things for him to try on. Pulling him into dressing rooms so that he could get something new to wear. Spending too much time at the sunglasses wrack, spinning the display around and around, trying on each pair, first on you then on him, giggling over the silly reflective wraparound pairs. He loved when you picked out the different things for him to put on, especially jeans, your hands sliding into the back pockets to check their depth was always his favorite part. 
You had your favorite spots at the food court, always picking the same little table every time you sat down, knees bumping as you picked over each other's meals. Kai would carry your drink while you tried on shoes, hold your bag when you tried on clothes. And most of the time having him along with you made shopping less overstimulating, you could have fun without rushing to just get the shopping over with. 
Only now that you needed a dress for an event it felt like everything was crashing down at that very moment. Nothing felt right, every dress you tried on made it feel like you wouldn't find the one. The lights now make everything look too oversaturated, the dressing room is now cold enough to make goosebumps rise along your arms, and now the stupid panty line. 
You didn't even know why you were so focused on finding the right outfit, it was a last minute decision to even go to the little dinner your friends were hosting. you didn't need something new but you wanted something new. 
“Just take them off,” Kai suggests, sweet face glowing in the lights, every little mole dotting his skin easily seen. 
The fitting rooms were in the back of the store, the long hallway sectioned off with several doors before ending right at the little platform with the mirrors you stood now. Although a few people milled around in the shop just past the corner no one was in the other changing rooms. He was suggesting an easy fix to the only problem you were having with the dress and so you took it. Even though the door to the room where you kept all your other clothes was open and waiting for you to go back inside, you just bent right there hands going up under your dress and hooking in the waistband of your underwear, pulling them down and off without lifting the dress to expose yourself. 
Kai feels all the blood rush to his face, the prickling heat slinking through his bones. It was enough to already be thinking about undressing you, but now seeing you do most of the work for him, at his suggestion, was taking him out. You tossed the fabric into the dressing room, aiming for your pile of clothes but missing, the corner of the fabric still seen from where Kai's sitting. 
“That's so much better,” you're back to sliding your hands down the silky fabric, flattening out any bumps to make sure it's lying right. You love the way it hugs your thighs, outlines the shape of your hips, the curves of your stomach, and lays against the swell of your chest. “Okay now just imagine it without a bra, I'll have to find something without straps,” 
“It's uh- it's really nice,” you look over at him in his hesitation to find that he wasn't saying it just to appease you but was finding it hard to swallow back what he really wanted to say. He was doing exactly what you asked, picturing you naked under all that silk, he could see it falling to the floor, how easy it would be to slip right off of you.  He pushed your purse closer to his growing bulge, cheeks flushing deeper when you asked, “Huening, are you blushing?” 
He loved it when you used that slightly teasing tone on him, it was as if your fingers were brushing up his neck with each word. “I think that's the one,” he was avoiding directly drawing attention to your question, not needing to think about exactly why he’s red so that he can try and wish away his erection before you guys walk out of here. 
“Okay, perfect.  I don't think I want to even try on anymore ,anyways,” you step down from the little platform, “oh, do you think we could stop at the little candy store on the corner and get the gummies we shared last time?” 
“Umhum,” he gives his usual hum in response as you close the door behind you. 
It's only then that you realize that you can't undo the zipper by yourself, he had helped you do up the back with no problem and there was no way for you to reach up to grab the zipper on your own. “Kai? Could you help me take this off?” 
It's the last thing he should be doing, he knows it as soon as he's in the dressing room with you, hand placed on your hip as he steadies you. You're just as soft as he expected, his free hand not even making it to the zipper. You watch him in the mirror in front of you, his eyes following his fingers as they make their way down gripping the outside of your thighs.“God, I love your body,” he groans, his head falling to your shoulder, lips dusting over your shoulder when you finally feel how hard he is. “You really like the dress huh?” 
“No I just love you and need you, please I'll be quick,” he whines right at the back of your ear. 
“Anyone could hear-” 
“I'll be quiet, I promise, please,” and your slight nod is all he needs to push up the back of your dress, his hand pushing between your thighs, dragging his fingers through your fold, swirling over your clit to build up your arousal. You fall forward, hands bracing yourself on the mirror, kai readjusts so that one hand is splayed across your tummy, silk spilling through his fingers. 
He’s quick to free himself from his jeans, pushing them down just enough so that he can line himself up with you, dragging his tip through your folds, catching at your entrance. You know yourself well enough to cover your mouth when he pushes in, the overwhelming stretch of him always making you whine. He's no better, his pretty face reflecting at you as his mouth opens in a silent moan when he fully seats himself inside you. His head falls into your shoulder so that he can muffle any sound that wants to escape, your back arching as his hold on your plushie hip tightens, fingers digging into the soft skin of your tummy. 
Kais intoxicatingly deep inside you, his first thrust pulls a throaty whimper for you that you can't hold back. “This was a bad idea-” you try to whisper, cutting yourself off by clamping your hand back on your mouth when he slams his hips against your ass. His breath fanning over your ear when he whispers, “You feel fucking amazing,” his trapped whimpers rumbling his chest, all the vibrations pressed to your back. He peeks in the mirror, biting his lip when he watches the way your tits bounce, hanging perfectly in view for him, “fuck- look at you,” 
His cock slides so effortlessly in and out of your needy cunt, warm fluttering walls drawing him in until he's forgetting he needs to be silent, that he shouldn't be pounding this hard, changing his orgasm so intensely that someone might hear him. 
It's the soft clapping of skin that reminds you where you are, “slow down kai- we could- we could-,” but it's then that he uses the hand on your hip to slide under the bunched fabric of your dress, to draw circles on your clit. It was an instant shock that had your knees shaking. 
“Who cares,” he's muttering, head shaking as he picks up his pace, “If anyone saw you dressed like this they would want to be right where I am, fuck, but they could never fuck you like I can, never,” his last word caught on the end of a whimper drawn out and pulled from him as he came. 
It's the look on his face, brows tightening, eyes squeezing shut as he falls apart, mixed with his steady pressure on your clit that has you tumbling over the edge after him. Your whole body flexes as he pulls you in tight to him, hand leaving your stomach to clamp over your mouth. 
Both of you are struggling to catch your breath in the now stuffy room, mirror fogged up from your hands, skin once chilled now inflamed with your post-sex afterglow. His cock still jerked even when he pulled out of you, his hand moving to try and stop the spill of your combined release. Your thighs try to close around the feeling of him brushing your sensitive clit while he leans down to pick up your discarded underwear, using them to clean you up. 
He peppers kisses all along your cheeks bunching up the soiled fabric in his hand before unzipping your dress. “I really do love this dress on you,” 
“Oh really? I couldn't tell,” you giggle, and he helps you get dressed, carrying your bags out after you, panties shoved into his back pocket. 
When you leave the store you wrap an arm around his center, going underneath his jacket to feel all his warmth. He slinks his arms around your shoulder, tugging you into his side, pressing his lips to the top of your head. “Didn't I hear you say something about getting gummies?” 
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taglist đŸ·: @kissmekissykissme @bts-txt-ateez @apeachty @seungfl0wer @lunesdesire want to be added to the taglist? check out my rules to see how to join! want to be taken off the taglist? send an ask! thank you to @thetxtdevil @hmusunoo @hyukascampfire and @prince-jjae for proofreading/beta reading this for me ily all sm okay my little sweet baby angels I hope you get everything youve ever wanted in life and more
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megpie71 · 2 days ago
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This bill is an example of the politician's syllogism:
Something must be done
This is something
Therefore, this must be done
It isn't going to actually solve any problems; it is primarily intended to kick the can down the road for another twelve months to the other side of the election, and was rushed through in order for the two major parties to be able to say they were "doing something" about the problem of kids being affected poorly by online content.
It isn't the creation of a whole new law - it's an amendment to an existing law - the Online Safety Act of 2021. It defines "social media" incredibly broadly:
"(1) For the purposes of this Act, age-restricted social media platform means: (a) an electronic service that satisfies the following conditions: (i) the sole purpose, or a significant purpose, of the service is to enable online social interaction between 2 or more end-users; (ii) the service allows end-users to link to, or interact with, some or all of the other end-users; (iii) the service allows end-users to post material on the service; (iv) such other conditions (if any) as are set out in the legislative rules; or (b) an electronic service specified in the legislative rules; but does not include a service mentioned in subsection (6). Note 1: Online social interaction does not include (for example) online business interaction Note 2: An age-restricted social media platform may be, but is not necessarily a social media service under section 13."
"(3) In determining whether the condition set out in subparagraph (1)(a)(i) is satisfied, disregard any of the following purposes: (a) the provision of advertising material on the service; (b) the generation of revenue from the provision of advertising material on the service."
(or in other words: no, having most of your content be advertising doesn't mean your site isn't a social media site).
(6) An electronic service is not an age-restricted social media platform if : (a) none of the material on the service is accessible to, or delivered to, one or more end-users in Australia; or (b) the service is specified in the legislative rules.
There's some interesting bits in section 63D about the kinds of information these platforms may or may not collect and why they're allowed to collect it. Basically, one of the rules is they're not allowed to collect information for the purposes of complying with this legislation; they're not allowed to collect government-issued identification material (birth certificates, drivers licenses, medicare numbers, tax file numbers, government issued digital IDs etc etc etc) for the purposes of complying with the legislation. Oh, and if they can prove there are no reasonable steps they can take to comply with the legislation, the rules don't apply to them.
Information collection in order to comply with this legislation also has to comply with the provisions of the Privacy Act of 1988 (which basically specifies the information collected and stored has to be the minimum amount possible; only relevant to the questions being asked - so for example, they can't ask for information which isn't related to your date of birth in order to verify your age; has to be stored securely; has to be available for you to view if you request it; can only be stored for as long as is needed to serve the purpose for which it was supplied; and has to be destroyed completely when you revoke your consent to the collecting entity holding onto it). Or in other words: all these American social media firms have just put their hands up to be governed by Australian privacy law, which, while a bit long in the tooth and desperately in need of a revamping and tightening up for the digital age, is still a bit more vicious than US privacy law.
Plus, the whole thing has to be reviewed after two years.
Here's hoping the US social media firms don't just look at the comparatively tiny size of the Australian market (we're still less than 30 million people) and decide geo-blocking our IPs is the quicker and easier fix.
Australian Social Media News
Australia has passed a law that bans anyone under age 16 from using social media starting late 2025, fining tech companies up to A$49.5M for non-compliance. While intending to address mental health concerns in kids and teenagers, the law raises significant risks for privacy, digital access, and the freedom of expression, raising questions about the boundaries of digital censorship.
With that being said, we don’t expect this decision to affect the OTW or any of its projects, including AO3. However, as the OTW, we are against all forms of censorship and will be releasing a detailed statement about the matter soon.
https://www.reuters.com/technology/australia-passes-social-media-ban-children-under-16-2024-11-28/
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faylvrs · 13 hours ago
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holding you , holding me ✿ bllk men
ïč’postscript : when they realise they’re in love, with you. ɞ‎ feat. nagi, reo, rin, karasu, shidou, sae, kaiser ɞ‎ cw fem reader in a few, banter, suggestive
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nagi realises he’s in love with you when the late night calls start getting more frequent. he had started craving your presence more and more. hell, he felt lovesick.
“what a hassle..” nagi’s head flops against the bed sheets, his gaze constantly shifting to his phone to see if you’ve replied to his text yet.
the nagi waiting for your texts? not to mention texting first, call a man whipped!
”i only take a few second’s to reply..” nagi picks up his phone again, grumbling when his notifications are empty. if he replies as soon as you do, why do you have to spend the next 3 decades replying back?
nagi’s usually the one who replies and then logs on minecraft for hours. him replying in mere seconds at your texts—you’re definitely special. very special in his eyes, oh. there’s something else that caught his eyes.
nagi’s phone lit up with a notification, from you.
sure! it’s a date then :))
cool, :x. 7PM?
reo realies he’s in love with you when his pockets really start to hurt.
i mean really. he’s been spoiling you relentlessly for the past few weeks. even if you insist you don’t need a new shirt, by tomorrow your closet is filled with them.
you just can’t seem to escape his mind. whenever he walks by the street and spots a store, his first thought goes to you, that maybe you’d like this. that maybe he should buy it for you—of course he will.
“you know.” reo smiles at you as you try on the new necklace he bought for you. “i booked a dinner for us, just us.”
“oh?” you hum, still struggling with the hook. “can you help me?”
“sure.” he’s more than happy to help you hook your necklace—a chance to put his hands on you? he’ll take it gladly.
“so about that dinner..” his hands swiftly clasp your necklace around your neck. “are you coming or what?”
“i don’t know
 the mikage reo taking me out?” you grin up at him. “im a little shy.”
you and reo laugh soundly, well, looks like you’ve got a date tonight.
rin couldn’t believe it.
he’s in love with you, playback—he’s in love.
it started off with smaller details, like how he would leave his soccer practice or gym earlier than usual to see you. and also how his messages app slowly started to become his most used app.
soccer wasn’t everything anymore, he had you too now.
“don’t make me waste money on this lukewarm shit ever again.” rin gruffed as he watched you sip the drink he had bought you from the convenience store earlier.
normally, he’d never waste his money on some useless milkshake from the store, that’s not even good for your body. but seeing you contentedly gulp at the fresh taste of your drink, he can’t seem to hold himself back.
“give me some.”
the words slip out of his tongue before he can control them.
“you wanna try?” well he’s definitely colored you surprised now. “come here then, rinnie.”
rin could feel his face slightly heat up at the nickname. he scoots closer to you, snatching the drink from your hand with no warning.
“hey!” you glare at him as he drinks the entire thing in one gulp, definitely not what you anticipated. “that was mine, you were supposed to take a sip.” you huff at him.
rin only rolls his eyes. “i paid for it. ill buy you a new one later.” your eyes sparkle at his words.
“fine, you win.” you smile. “im going to get going before you become grumpy and tell me to shoo.” you give him a teasing wink, about to get up from his couch when suddenly he grabs your arm.
“wait.” he grits his teeth, biting back words. “don’t go.”
“rin?”
“just, don’t.”
“you missed me, huh?” karasu smirks. he had his hair down, for once not put up with an insane amount of gel—karasu in all his glory.
“i didn’t.” you huff at him. “you look even uglier with your hair down.”
“yer’ comparing my beauty to your birds nest?” karasu crosses his arms, leaning against the door.
“oh, we can see them split ends girl.” you roll your eyes.
karasu has always loved bantering with you, but nowadays, it seems as if his heart has been telling him thats not the only reason his heartbeat speeds up whenever he’s around you.
he loves bantering with you, he loves you.
there’s a prolonged silence, kaiser’s anticipating if he should say what he’s about to say. he usually isn’t this nervous—you’re the exception to that.
“you think you wanna go out sometime, yeah?” it’s the way his sharp eyes soften that makes your heart start doing flips.
“yeah, i do.”
there’s a moment of comfortable silence, your brain ingraving the memory in the back of your head. which of course, quickly gets ruined by his cocky smirk. he wasn’t the best at dealing with these moments
“even y’can’t resist my charm.” karasu sticks his tongue out at you. “ill pick you up at 9.”
“you
 get back here!”
shidou could feel a wide grin on his face as he read your message—“sure, i’d love to go sky diving with you!”
anybody would of said that is a crazy idea for a first date, but you? you can say you definitely match his freak.
his heart explodes into a burst of enthusiasm whenever you’re around him. he can feel a rush of serotonin whenever you accidentally brush your hands against his.
oh he was so in love. he is definitely wifing you up when you deploy the parachute- how could he not when he feels like he’s going to explode with all these bottled up feelings.
he in fact had a very disappointed pout on his face when you said it was far too soon for marriage, so what if you’re not dating yet? you can start now!
your betrayal will not be forgotten. but hey, he can try again next year.
sae realised he’s in love with you when you started becoming an avid figure in his daily routine.
it was like muscle memory for him to wake up and check for your good morning text, never failing to emit an amused scoff from his lips.
of course, he acknowledged the fact that he was in love with you. but would he dare entertain the thought and risk the beloved friendship you already have? never.
“nobody’s looking.”
this was dangerous. he has you trapped against the wall in the locker room, his lips tantalisingly close to yours. he wasn’t suppose to be doing this—but how could he resist when you came to see him at practice?
“sae
we can’t here.” you try to be rational, but your breathing is just as heavy as his.
“just shut-“
footsteps. someone was coming. sae pushes you away behind a locker so nobody see’s you, leaning against the wall nonchalantly.
maybe next time he’ll get you.
kaiser took some time to notice his feelings, but even he started getting self conscious of all the excuses he started making to touch you, and the flirting was starting to cross a few boundaries as well.
maybe he’s just lust-driven, that’s all he thought for a while. he chose to distance himself, and you didn’t miss the change in his behaviour.
he thought distancing himself would help ease his feelings.. not make them worse.
he can feel his heart throbbing, mind full with only thoughts of you—is it love or is it lust?
he doesn’t know, he’s never felt like this before. what even is love? thats stupid.
“hey.” he smirks, grasping your hand, a habit of his by now. “what are you up to, schatz?” the light-hearted pet name rolls off his tongue smoothly.
“michael.” you look at him, eyes widening a little. “i haven’t seen you in forever.” his expression slightly wavers at that.
“oh i’ve been.. busy.” he lies, smiling. the truth is, he hasn’t been busy at all. he’s been avoiding you, you and your precious smile.
“its okay.” you pat his shoulder. “i just missed you.”
“i missed you too.” he blurts out unknowingly, slightly flinching at what he said. “i’ve been avoiding you.” he confesses.
your eyebrow’s slightly raise at that. “
why?”
“because.. i don’t know.”
your hands hesitantly reach out. you knew how he was about physical touch, but maybe just this once he needs it.
he bents down a little, his face hitting your shoulder as he reciprocated your hug.
“Ich liebe dich.”
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apologies, some parts aren’t as long as the others. i got lazy ( and have favorites
 ✌) only 7 chrc bc i had no ideas for isagi
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gloomwitchwrites · 2 days ago
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i’ve only recently found ur acc and i’ve fallen in love! ur def becoming one of my inspo’s in writing my own fics!:D
now, what about t141 with an alt s/o who’s always dying their hair or piercing themselves? maybe it’s the first time they find reader doing said shenanigans, what would their reactions be? đŸ€” i think soap would have the best one lol, but i’d love to hear what your thoughts about it! <3
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Well, hello! Welcome! Now, I had multiple people request this very thing. I am answering one of those asks and the others will simply fall under this one (since they are all very similar). I did go with some variety here since being "alt" can mean a lot different things. I do have one with hair dying, one about showing off their taxidermy/skull collection, a metal concert, and forcing (Gaz) to have a makeover. I had lots of fun. Enjoy!
For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE
Task Force 141 x Reader (can be read as gn!reader)
Content & Warnings: established relationship, humor, fluff, swearing, hair dying, taxidermy, concerts, makeovers
Word Count: 800
ao3 // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist
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John Price
“Jesus bloody Christ. What happened?” John stands in the doorway of the bathroom, his eyes wide as he surveys the scene. “Did you murder someone?”
You stand hunched over like a gremlin in the shower, holding the handheld showerhead. The dye in your hair is circling the drain, but that’s not the only place is stains. The shower is going to need a good scrub as is the bathroom sink.
“I’m changing my hair?”
John blinks. “You told me you were going to a salon.”
“This is cheaper.”
His mouth opens and then promptly closes. You see the gears turning. John is reigning in the panic.
“It’ll come out,” you insist.
“Everything is red,” murmurs John.
“Only temporarily,” you insist.
“Are you talking about your hair or our bathroom countertops?”
“Are you mad?”
“No,” he says firmly, hand on the doorknob. “I’m going to shut the door and pretend that our bathroom doesn’t look like a crime scene.”
“I love you!” you call out as he starts shutting the door.
“I love you, too,” he sighs heavily. The door is nearly shut before it suddenly opens again. “Do I need to grab bleach from the store?”
“That would be great.”
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
“Stop moving,” you mutter.
“You’re gonna poke me in the fucking eye, love.”
“It’s just eyeliner. Calm down.”
“You’ve poked me already.” Kyle points at his eye. The white is slightly red with irritation.
Kyle’s gaze narrows, but you only tut, grasping the bottom half of his face with your hand. Squeezing his cheeks a bit, you tilt his face from side-to-side, observing your work. About half of his face is done. You’ve even added face piercings to his lips and nose.
The clothes were the easy part. Kyle was more than willing to put on what you picked out for him. It’s completely different from his tracksuits and jeans. He looks like he walked right out of the punk scene.
“You promised I could do your makeup.” You put a little whine in it, pouting your lip.
Kyle lightly grasps your wrist and tugs, removing your hand from his face. “I did,” he agrees. “But all this? Really?”
You’ve set out nearly every product you have, nearly covering the entirety of the bathroom counter.
“We have to match,” you insist.
Kyle’s mouth twitches slightly but he settles. “Fine. But you better make me the best-looking bloke in the joint.”
John "Soap" MacTavish
“This is June.” You present the racoon skull to Johnny.
His eyes widen slightly. “Hello, June,” he greets.
You wait for the eventual frown, for the brief flicker of disgust, but it doesn’t come. Johnny isn’t drawing back or judging you at all. His attention is rapt—focused.
You gently return the racoon skull back to the shelf and point to a collection of preserved butterflies. “These were a gift from a friend.”
“They’re beautiful,” murmurs Johnny. “Do they have names?” He leans in, observing the display of colorful wings.
“No, but they do!” You enthusiastically gesture toward the rest of your collection. There are skulls and bones from all sorts of animals, preserved beetles, tentacles in jars, and even petrified fish bones.
Men say they want quirky, but when they get quirky, they run. Johnny though is entirely fascinated.
“Can I touch this?” he asks with an excitement that surprises you, pointing toward a beaver skull.
“Yes. It’s delicate though. I’m always fixing the jaw.”
Johnny lightly lifts the skull and brings it close to his face, slowly rotating it.
No. Johnny isn’t disgusted. He isn’t shaming you for your special interest. If anything, he’s fascinated.
You’re keeping him.
Simon "Ghost" Riley
The shredding of the guitar reverberates in your chest. It stirs your blood, sending waves of adrenaline through your limbs until even your fingers and toes twitch with anticipation.
The breakdown is coming, and with it will come a sea of bodies. They’ll crash against each other like a massive wave before descending into chaos, nothing but flailing limbs and gnashing teeth.
Already, the energy is pulsing, becoming a frenzy that will eventually burst.
You’ve never been in the middle of the pit before. You usually stay off to the sides or well out of the way, not wanting to receive an injury.
But now you have protection. Now, you have a bodyguard.
Simon stands right behind as your support and your shadow. This isn’t his scene, not that he doesn’t enjoy a metal show, but he could care less about throwing himself around in a pit. When you expressed the desire to do so, Simon agreed, but only if he joined you.
Sure, it might scare some people off, or deter others from getting too close, but Simon is supportive anyway.
He’s just a bit vicious. A bit protective.
The shredding rises. It’s time.
A pause.
Then everything crashes.
taglist:
@glitterypirateduck @km-ffluv @tiredmetalenthusiast @miaraei @cherryofdeath
@ferns-fics @tulipsun-flower @miss-mistinguett @ninman82 @eternallyvenus
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@saoirse06 @unhinged-reader-36 @ravenpoe67 @sageyxbabey @mudisgranapat
@lulurubberduckie @leed-bbg @yawning-grave81 @azkza @nishim
@voids-universe @iloveslasher @talooolaaloolla @sadlonelybagel @haven-1307
@itsberrydreemurstuff @cod-z @keiva1000 @littlemisscriesherselftosleep @blackhawkfanatic
@sammysinger04 @kylies-love-letter @dakotakazansky @suhmie @kadeeesworld
@keiva1000 @jackrabbitem @arrozyfrijoles23 @lovely-ateez @waves-against-a-cliff
@ash-tarte @marispunk @gingergirl06 @certainlygay @greeniegreengreen
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verdaneart · 9 hours ago
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I cannot stress enough how important it is to treat ANY animals you have with care.
Do your research BEFORE getting anything
ADOPT from reputable shelters, NEVER BUY from stores, breeders, or strangers
ALWAYS SPAY AND NEUTER cats and dogs (Good shelters should have already done it if possible and safe at the time)
Properly VACCINATE your animals as their vet recommends
MICROCHIP YOUR CATS AND DOGS, EVEN IF THEY DON'T GO OUTSIDE
Ask their vet for an APPROPRIATE DIET, and KEEP UP WITH IT
DO NOT feed them anything that is NOT confirmed to be SAFE by a credible source
Regularly SOCIALIZE and/or play with your animals (I'm talking kindness every day)
If they go outside, SUPERVISE them, and it's best they have a leash
KEEP YOUR POOR CATS INSIDE FOR EVERYONE'S SAKE AND THEIR OWN FUCKING SAFETY. NO EXCUSES.
CHECK IN on their health and well-being REGULARLY. Even just being around them and socializing correctly can tell you when things are off
SCHEDULE VET VISITS for AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR like any normal doctor
If something is wrong, and you don't know what, do a bit of research, and if you can't pin it down as a specific (harmless/non-threatening) thing, TAKE THEM TO THE VET ASAP
DO NOT GIVE PETS AS GIFTS WITHOUT EXTENSIVE PLANNING WITH THE FAMILY THAT WOULD RECEIVE THEM. MANY PETS ARE A 10 YEAR COMMITMENT OR LONGER.
"But my cat needs time outdoors to entertain/sustain/whatever themselves"
You are OPENLY admitting that you cannot take care of that cat, or are too lazy to try. Letting cats roam freely outside also puts them in MASSIVE DANGER from things like vehicles, people, chemicals, pesticides, poisons, diseases, parasites, other animals, physical animal "repellants", and COUNTLESS OTHER HAZARDS. The average outdoor cat lives only 5 years or less, while the average indoor cat lives upwards of 15 to 20 years. If you want to let your cat enjoy some time outside, there's FAR SAFER options, like a cat leash, closed pet stroller, pop-up catio tent, or permanent catio. Fences CANNOT keep a cat in your yard for long, and many hazards can still get past your fence anyways. Outdoor cats- both feral and domestic- are responsible for countless deaths of small wildlife, threatening many species and driving others to extinction. The cats don't understand that, so we have to understand the dangers for them.
"What about Feral Colonies/Barn cats?"
Feral Colonies can be properly maintained if needed, or adopted out if possible. Many known colonies are cared for and monitored by nearby individuals in cooperation with a local rescue. The caretaker is generally responsible for feeding them and monitoring for changes in health or population. Rescues are then responsible for TNR (Trap, Neuter/Spay, Return), recording health/population, treating injured cats, and evaluating individuals for potential adoption, as well as removing any kittens to be raised and adopted. If done correctly and for long enough, the colony can eventually reach a generation where none of them are feral anymore and they all find homes.
To avoid the euthanasia of thousands of innocent animals, we MUST care for the ones we have now.
If anyone has more questions, literally just ask. I'll do my best to answer all I can, and provide resources when possible.
Euthanasia season? Please don't tell that is people deciding to euthanise because of the holidays....
It's not BECAUSE of the holidays but euthanasias do tend to increase during the holiday season. Iirc It's mostly because families are usually together at this time. One of the vets I work with thinks it's also due to colder weather being harder on senior animals.
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milktiicup · 2 days ago
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HEH I SAW YOU ASKING FOR REQUESTS SO.,,
How about a scenario where in an alternate universe, maybe, reader is a complete hikikomori and HATES to leave the house and that results in them always staying together and developing some kind of separation anxiety? Maybe reader gets money by doing some job on their computer or something, and that’s how they can afford it!
(Feel free to ignore if you don’t wanna do it/feel uncomfortable with it!)
-🩁 anon!!!!!
a world apart, together!
It was like a dream come true that he couldn’t exactly go outside. It meant he was yours, here and only here, where nothing could hurt him. Nothing could take him from you. 
‧₊ ᔎᔎ 🌊 ⋅ ˚✼ wow as much as i loved this idea, for the life of me i just genuinely couldn't think of anything to write until i had to go to the store and it was like a eureka! moment. sry for the wait my fav little anon <3
warnings. aaaaaabsolutely none!
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You didn’t like going outside. You mean, why would you? There’s nasty people out there, there’s nothing for you to even do out there- everything you ever needed was right here, in this little apartment of yours- work, comfort, food. Naturally, the first time you step outside in a while transports you into some whole other realm. 
Thankfully for your own sanity, you couldn’t communicate with most of the monsters, and whatever words you did pick up were relatively simple and repetitive. Monsters that towered over you, landscapes that defied logic, and the pervasive, bone-deep fear that you’d never find your way back. The one thread of hope that kept you moving, like a lifeline in the dark, was the thought of home.
Home meant safety. Home meant control. It meant not having to face the unknown.
Of course, under no circumstances, could you ever find  romance with your lifestyle. You didn’t like going outside. You didn’t have any dating apps. The only way for you to ever somehow magically get a partner, was if it was shoved onto you. 
And now you have a live-in monster-ghost-roommate-boyfriend-thing that’s totally into you and you’re totally into him. You weren’t complaining, though- he fit into your quiet little life perfectly, a ray of sunshine in a pitch black room, a kiss in the morning and someone to watch TV with a gasp and ‘ohhh’ and ‘ahh’ at all the exciting moments. 
It was like a dream come true that he couldn’t exactly go outside. It meant he was yours, here and only here, where nothing could hurt him. Nothing could take him from you. 
But it’s not like you can stay inside forever. Appointments, errands, obligations- it’s a part of life, that sometimes, you’re just required to go outside.
You hated it. You felt sick. You felt the nervous bundle up in your stomach, twisting and turning at all angles, never relenting. Your mind races with all the possibilities of things going wrong- you could trip and fall and embarrass yourself in front of everyone, you could miss your train to your appointment and be late, or you could lose your phone, house keys, sanity

“You not okay.”
You pause, pacing halted, and thumb with teeth marks. Your gaze shifts to Mr. Crawling, hands on the floor in front of him, head tilting and hair dangling with worry. A frown tugs at your lips, mirroring his, and you take a breath, sitting on the sofa. This would never get any easier.
“You walk around. What wrong?” Mr. Crawling asks, pulling himself up beside you. Immediately, his long arms encase you in a cold hug. It grounds you.
Sighing through your nose, you lean your head against his shoulder. You breathe in- he smells of something otherworldly; a mix of ozone and yet of the damp earth as if it had just freshly rained, but the hint of death was noticeable. “I have to go outside.”
His frown deepens, arms wrapping tighter around you, as if shielding you from the world. Mr. Crawling wasn’t stupid- he could tell you weren’t fond of the world outside of your apartment, not that he was complaining. “Outside bad?” he puzzles, but you can tell he already knows the answer.
“I don’t like it,” you swallow, body burning, “It’s loud and busy, and
 I just don’t like it. I hate it.”
“Hate?”
“Big dislike.”
“Big dislike outside
” Mr. Crawling ponders. “No want you sad,” he peppers kisses to the top of your head, hands rubbing at your shoulders and back, “Me worry you. Me go with you, come. Me go together you.”
Warmth blooms through you like a flower in the fresh spring. The idea was comforting. A small smile tugs at your lips- it’s a sweet gesture, but impractical. “You’d come with me?” You cup his face, dragging your thumbs over his grey cheeks. “People might notice. Or
 freak out.”
Mr. Crawling grasps onto your wrists gently, nuzzling his face into your palm. “Someone else not important.”
“That’s sweet, but it’s not that simple. I don’t want you to get hurt. Or worse, you know
 discovered.”
He takes a moment to process your words, your language catching onto him. He tilts his head, his bottom lip pouting out. You can see he was deep in thought. Mr. Crawling’s sharp giggle cuts through the silence, and he darts away to your bedroom. You furrow your brows. You watch, bemused, as he rummages through the few jackets you own before settling on a loose hoodie. He throws it on, the oversized garment hanging awkwardly off his frame, the hood nearly swallowing his hair.
“See? Me hide,” he announces proudly, the sleeves flopping as he stretches his arms out for emphasis. 
You press your lips together in a thin line in a futile attempt to stifle your laugh. Mr. Crawling looks ridiculously- adorably ridiculous. “I don’t think it works like that,” you say, words soft. He’s pulling at the strings of your heart so harshly it’s hard to not throw yourself at him.
“Me go together you!” he insists, crawling back over to you and plopping himself on the floor at your feet. “Me with you. Me come, afraid, not here. You mine, me yours. Protect.” His long arms wrap around your legs, and he rests his chin on your knee, the oversized hood drooping over his face.
You lay a hand on his head, the hoodie fabric soft under your touch. The hood drooped over his face, but you could still see the hopefulness in his grin. Your face falls, sighing, and you resolve crumbles. 
“Alright, you can come. But you have to stick close to me. And no scaring people, okay?”
“Okay!” His grin is instant, and he nuzzles his head against your knee like an oversized cat.
You hadn’t even stepped out the door, and already, you couldn’t wait to come home. To pull him back into your arms, where he belonged. Where he was safe. Where he was yours. And the thought of leaving him behind, even for a moment, made your heart ache in a way you weren’t sure you could bear.
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elysiuminfra · 2 days ago
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i want to talk about walmart for a second. if you haven’t worked or known someone who worked for walmart, you probably don’t know how bad it is. most people don’t, so i want to talk about it.
there’s a points system for absences. if you miss work, and can’t cover it with accrued time off (because you don’t just Get time off - it builds up over time. it takes about a month of straight work to get a day off.) you get a point. five points and you’re at risk of termination. all managers - team leads, and above them, coaches - have the power to excuse points so that you don’t get fired. some do, so you don’t lose your job. most don’t. five days, that’s it.
if you miss more than three shifts of work due to a medical issue, you have to go through a third party company (which isn’t really third party.) to get a medical exception so you don’t lose your job. it is hard to get this. they need a lot of documentation to prove that you somehow deserved to miss work. they don’t accept regular doctors notes. this is somehow nebulously legal. you are also forced to work while sick and infectious. flu, strep, covid, doesnt matter for all departments except produce and deli. even then, they only send you home if you throw up *at work* or have food-related illnesses. every other department you’re not allowed to go home. more than likely you are being exposed to someone who’s sick at walmart, because its either come in sick or get fired.
i work hard. everyone *has* to work hard. you are on your feet 8 hours a day. you can’t sit. there are no surfaces to sit on. some departments are harder than others. i worked in OPD, the online grocery fulfillment department. i would walk, bare minimum, 7 to 8 miles a day, hauling sometimes over 200 pounds of groceries. every day. now i work in the deli. you are constantly moving. this is very typical for the deli - you are given too many tasks to perform in one day. most days i can barely get enough done. i know people don’t take their legally entitled second breaks. I know people who have to work off the clock just to get everything done. my department - as is *most other departments* - is understaffed. i cook, clean, work the slicer, and dispense food at the same time. and trust me when i tell you the standards of cleanliness in my department is high, but in practice it is very, very poor. simply because there is usually only one of us working back there, and we just can’t do everything right all at once.
none of the “fresh” food in the bakery / produce area is fresh. the bread is baked in store, but the dough is made and frozen elsewhere. sometimes it’s been frozen for weeks. everything is shockingly artificial. same with produce. you’re better off buying your produce elsewhere, or even locally. walmart has been fraught with recall after recall.
people are cheated out of retirements. so many people I know that are at retirement age simply can’t. there are people working here in their 70s. they are being overworked. there are a lot of teenagers that work up front. they are being overworked. I know two kids who are disabled that work the register. they aren’t allowed to sit. one had to fight to be able to get a medical accommodation and only got one when he threatened to sue, because not taking a doctor’s note for an accommodation is illegal. they do it anyways. there are so many people i know personally that are disabled, have chronic pain, have mobility issues, and can’t sit. or walk miles and miles a day. one of my coworkers recently quit because she tore both rotator cuffs in her shoulders from this job. this job disables you. it kills you. (just look up how many people have died on the job due to negligence. it is not a small amount.)
even the prices are fake. sales are fake. rollback is fake. i notice how things are priced and they rarely change, even when they say they’re on sale. it’s a scam. you are being scammed.
we are overworked and underpaid for our labor. (speaking of, wages used to be higher by several dollars a couple years ago. they lowered them. my department paid 20 an hour. it only pays 16 now. almost all other departments are at a flat 14. it used to be 16.)
wage theft, lack of breaks, overtime violations, lack of sick leave, chronic understaffing and chronic abuse from management, not terminating employees that sexually harass coworkers, and piles and piles and piles of responsibilities. all of this is to say, walmart only operates because of how much they exploit their workers, and it’s in the top of the Fortune 500 list. it is impossibly dire. and it is in EVERY SINGLE store, because that is just how the work culture operates.
all salaried management is also given guides on union busting. unionization is impossible. there was one store that they completely shut down because of successful unionization efforts, laying off hundreds of people, and blamed it on “faulty plumbing.”
one last thing - if you are assaulted by a customer, you cannot defend yourself. nobody can help you, because none of us are allowed to put our hands in any capacity on a customer. if you are assaulted, you have no choice but to run and hide. I’ve heard of a worker at my store that was assaulted repeatedly over several days from people who would come in and beat her. they weren’t banned, and she was fired for fighting back. if you fight back, you’re fired immediately, no exceptions.
all of this is to say shop elsewhere. buy locally. buy at other stores. you will get better quality items and produce literally ANYWHERE else. if you can’t, be kind to Walmart workers. theres abuse at every step of the chain. even on the supply side. walmart is a corporate dystopian monster that only makes its money off of intense labor violations.
tl;dr don’t shop at walmart. it’s not worth it
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thebookewyrme · 23 hours ago
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Hey! Almost-40 here and experienced with this! I promise! All is not lost! You can very much have a life where friendships are your important relationships as much as family, I promise! First, modern technology is fucking amazing and you are not doomed to lose your friend just because they are moving away. Think of it like a long-distance relationship! I have been in a long distance relationship for about 8 years. Due to family obligations, I cannot move from where I am for at least another 5 years. Several of my dear friends, including my platonic partner, have also left the state I live in to escape anti-lgbt government. The secret is to make time for doing more than just short phone calls in those relationships. Use video-calling and screen-sharing technology to watch tv & movies together over long distance. Get involved in an online multiplayer game with them. Hell, play words with friends with them! There are many ways you can connect without being in the same place, and between those longer interactions, keep up the texting/messaging as often as you can.
Second, it is still possible to make new friends as an adult. Maybe you won’t have exactly the same relationship with them as your friend who moved away, but you can still form deep and meaningful connections. There are apps for finding friends now! If you’re queer I highly recommend Lex, I’ve found several friends there. Also, going out and doing things you like. Find out if your library has a craft group, or a book club, or whatever. Join a roller derby team. Go to game stores that have open ttrpg game nights and join a Pathfinder one-shot every week. Whatever you like doing in meatspace, find a group for doing it with and join it. You will make friends. Another strategy is volunteering for community projects. Volunteer with a soup kitchen, or the local pride center, or at the library. The people you volunteer with can become friends as well.
But most importantly do not give up and become an asocial shut in (be a shut in if you need for disability reasons, but keep reaching out and being social in whatever ways you can). And remember, you can visit your friends still, even if they move very far away. Maybe not often if you’re poor like I am, but sometimes you’ll be able to. They are not gone from your life forever, and just because one friend leaves you are not doomed to loneliness. You will miss your friend when they are gone. It will be hard sometimes. Feel your feelings, then get up the next day and keep being part of your community wherever you find it. It’ll be ok I promise.
And if all else fails, you’ve still got tumblr. 💚
Going on r/relationshipadvice but instead it’s just how not to be all consumingly heartbroken to learn a dear friend of yours is moving away
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makeitmingi · 2 days ago
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When Flowers Bloom In The Dark [Chapter 8]
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Genre: Romance, Mafia!AU, Violence, Angst, Slow burn
Pairing: Hongjoong x Reader (y/n)
Characters: Florist!Reader, Mafioso!Hongjoong, Mafioso!Seonghwa, Mafioso!Yunho, Mafioso!Yeosang, Mafioso!San, Mafioso!Mingi, Mafioso!Wooyoung, Mafioso!Jongho
Summary: When you appeared and wept at his mother's funeral, Hongjoong found himself wanting to find out more about you. A regular girl, who owns a flower shop in his territory and has a relationship with the mother that he hasn't spoken to in years, why hasn't he ever noticed you before?
[Warning(s): 18+ for violence, use of weapons, smoking, alcohol consumption, slight gore, gang affiliation, tattoos and character deaths. Minors DNI. This is a work of fiction and does not represent the Ateez members in real life.]
Word count: 3.2K
"You can add a layer of natural compost to provide the plant with the nutrients its missing. Then add a layer of this mulch right at the top, it'll help keep the moisture in. Your plant should be fine right after." You smiled, handing the bag of mulch and natural compost to the customer after she paid.
"Okay, I'll go home and repot it properly. Do I stick to my regular watering schedule?" She asked.
"Water it every alternate day instead. Since we're retaining moisture, there's no need to water it every day now. Or it might drown the plant." You informed.
"Ah, I don't want that to happen." She giggled and you nodded with a laugh.
"Come back if you need any other help." You told her, walking her to the door. She bowed her head and left your store.
Once she left, you went back to working on online order pick ups. You recently received a big order for a huge event so you were trying to clear orders and you were not able to take in anymore new orders.
"Excuse me. Are you open?" The door opened.
"Yes, I am. How can I help you?" You wiped your hands and went out to greet the customer.
"I need a bouquet for a friend in the hospital. Do you do that? Maybe a small teddy bear, I don't know..." She smiled in embarrassment. But you knew what she meant and what she wanted so you waved her further into the store.
"Do you know the person's favourite flower? If not, there are sunflower bouquets, those are popular because of how bright they are." You chuckled.
"She doesn't have a favourite flower... Let's just go with the sunflowers. I know she likes blue, can that be added?" She asked.
"Of course. I'll wrap the flowers in baby blue tissue, there'll make it really pretty." You smiled.
"Thanks." She sighed and sat down to wait. You hummed softly to yourself as you picked out the sunflowers and began to trim the stems, remove the excess leaves and arrange them.
"I'll add some extra flowers on the side if that's okay, just to bulk up the bouquet." You checked with the customer.
"Sure." You nodded.
She watched as you laid everything out in a bouquet arrangement and tied the stems together with a rubber band first. Then you wrapped the bottoms with wet tissues and began to wrap the whole thing in decorative tissues. The girl watched you as you worked, securing the bouquet together with a ribbon.
"These are the designs of small animal plushes we have. You can pick one and I'll add it to the bouquet. Also, you can write the card." You placed the box on the counter for her to pick.
"This one. She likes cats." The girl explained. You placed a holder and positioned the flowers while she wrote the card.
"All done. Is there anything else I can do for you?" You asked as you walked her to the counter.
"No, that's all. Thanks for all your help, the bouquet is beautiful. I don't know anything about flowers. I just know you get it for people when they're sick." She shrugged.
"Of course, happy to help." You showed her the bill and processed the payment on her card.
"Thanks again." She bowed and walked out of your store.
"Now, where were we?" You continued to work on your online orders. Suddenly, someone tapped you on the shoulder, making you flinch and jump, letting out a small yelp in surprise.
"Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you, I forgot to ask for a name card." The girl from earlier asked.
"Sure, sorry about that. I overreacted." You tried your best to maintain composure as you went to retrieve a name card for her before she left again. Your heart was racing, you didn't know why you reacted so badly to someone touching your shoulder.
Who were you kidding? Of course you knew. Because it was like the guy that was at the club. You shivered as a flash of what happened passed in your head.
And at the same time, you wondered if the guy would come back and sought revenge against you. Or was he even alive?
"Don't think about that." You scolded yourself with a frown. You didn't know the state Hongjoong left the guy in, he could be dead or alive.
"Focus on work." You let out a long, shaky exhale and proceeded to throw yourself back into your work. Hopefully, that will be the last that you encounter Hongjoong.
You didn't know what he did and what he was but at this point, you'd rather not find out.
"Hi. I'm here to pick up order #2140?" A male came in.
"Yes, sure. Let me help you get that. Can I see the order confirmation? Just to be sure." You wiped your hands against your apron. He nodded and showed you in email.
"That's great. Here it is, order #2140. You can check that everything is to your liking. Then you can pay." You told the customer. He scanned the bouquet and nodded in approval, going to settle the payment. It was a standard bouquet that you had on the website, an anniversary bouquet that was quite popular.
"Have a nice day." You wished as he left. Since there was a little bit of lull time, you stopped working on orders and worked on your botany.
"Tincture." You opened your botany book. Tinctures were made of dried and/or fresh plants and herbs, steeped in either vinegar or alcohol to extract their properties.
"This, this and this." You sought through your collection to find what you needed.
Following the recipe, you picked out the herbs that you needed and placed them into a glass jar then added concentrated alcohol.
"Ready in 4 weeks? Wow." You wrote the date and type of tincture on a piece of tape and taped it to the jar. Then you placed the jar on the shelf to let it mature.
"Hi (y/n). Here for today's pick ups." The delivery man came through the back door like always.
"Hey, Mr Kim. Let me see which orders are for delivery." You went to the area where all the prepared flower orders were.
"Looks like it's all these here." You gestured. He nodded and began to bring the flower boxes out to where his truck was parked in the alley. You helped him carry the bouquets while he picked up more of the wreaths and flower boxes.
"You've got the addresses already right?" You confirmed. He hummed and scanned all the barcodes on the order invoices against his checklist to make sure everything was there.
"There's a bouquet missing it seems. Order #418?" He showed you the screen.
"Hmm. Let me check, it could be mixed up with the pick up orders." You went back into the store and looked for it.
"Roses bouquet with black and grey tissue." You checked the description on your order list. Maybe you had missed out on the order while wrapping the flowers.
"Sorry, Mr Kim. Let me quickly put that bouquet together." You bowed and apologised.
"No worries. It happens." He waved you off.
"Feel free to have some tea while you wait." You gestured to the pot of tea that you always brewed in the shop, it's usually for yourself or familiar visitors like delivery men. You quickly picked out the flowers that you needed and made the bouquet. It was a standard rose bouquet with baby's breath surrounding the red roses.
"There, sorry again for delaying you." You handed him the bouquet once it was done, all wrapped in the layered tissue and secured with a thick, silver ribbon.
"No need to apologise, (y/n). Thanks for the tea. Have a nice day." He patted your shoulder and left to make the deliveries.
"You too!" You waved as the truck drove off. After that, you went back to getting orders sorted.
Finally when you sat down, you winced as you lifted your leg. It was a sprained ankle, nothing too major but you've been hiding the bandage under pants and the pain with a smile.
"Hello~" Jihoon entered through the back door and you quickly put your leg down, making sure your pant leg covered the bandage.
"Jihoon, what are you doing here?" You blinked in surprise.
"Well, hello to you too, neighbour. I'm here to deliver you a warm lunch! You're welcome." He held up the paper bag and the iced drink that he was holding.
"Thanks, Jihoon. Let me know how much everything is and I'll wire it over." You smiled gratefully as you stood up. At your words, Jihoon shot you a flat look. He knew you would insist on paying but he didn't want you too.
"Hush, just eat. Don't worry about paying." He sat you back down and cleared your table so he could put the sandwich and drink down.
"Hmm..." You shot him a look but sighed in defeat and patted the seat beside you. Before sitting down, Jihoon poured himself a cup of tea from your warmed tea pot.
"This is nice. What is this?" He pointed, taking a sip.
"Mixed dried berries with raspberry leaf." You replied, taking a bite of the warm sandwich.
"Isn't that what pregnant women drink?" He raised an eyebrow. You shot him a surprised look but nodded in confirmation.
"Yeah, my mom gave a lot to my cousin when she was pregnant with my nephew. Supposed to make birth easy or something. I swear she even bathed in it once." Jihoon scoffed.
"It'll help with muscle cramps too, it's an anti inflammatory and anti oxidant." You explained.
"Hopefully it'll get rid of my calf muscle pain then." Jihoon chuckled and took another sip. You laughed and continued to eat your sandwich, enjoying your chat with Jihoon. Mrs Kim was always your lunch time companion, Jihoon must know that you would feel the absence of her presence and come.
"Do you miss her?" Jihoon asked. Your hands stopped and you paused your chewing before nodding your head with a hum, knowing he was referring to Mrs Kim.
"You know that she was the closest thing to a mother figure that I have ever had." You replied.
"Mhmm. I also know you didn't even give yourself a break." Jihoon stated.
"I don't need a break, Jihoon. Continuing and distracting myself with work is what helps me, not sitting at home and crying." You shrugged, standing up and going to toss the trash.
"Don't you have a cafe that needs running?" You chuckled, changing the subject so you wouldn't harp on that topic for too long.
"They'll survive without me." Jihoon waved you off. You laughed and shook your head.
You and Jihoon continued to chat until your lunch break was over and you chased him out. No doubt his workers were good but you didn't want to be the reason why their boss slacks. So after giving him a bouquet of flowers to decorate his shop with, he left.
"Welc- Hongjoong sshi." You blinked, stopping in your tracks. Having heard the bell, you thought that there was a new customer. You didn't expect Hongjoong to come in.
"Good afternoon." Hongjoong bowed his head as he entered your shop.
"W-What can I help you with?" You blinked.
"I... wanted to make sure you got your ankle looked at." Hongjoong cleared his throat awkwardly.
"Oh! I'm fine, it's just a sprain. Nothing big. Please, have a seat and make yourself comfortable." You forced a small smile and gestured to the seats by your work table.
"I'm glad. Thanks." He unbuttoned his jacket and sat down on the stool. You poured him a cup of tea and offered it to him.
"Please, don't let me stop you from your work." He gestured to the materials that were scattered around.
"So, how have you been Hongjoong sshi?" You asked to try and prevent an awkward silence from falling down on the both of you. You kept your head down, focusing on the bouquets you were preparing to put in the display and fridges for walk in customers. Hongjoong watched you, sipping his tea.
"Same as always. What about you?" He asked back. You had stated clearly the last time you met that you didn't want the incident to be brought up again but Hongjoong couldn't help it.
"Fine. Same as always, too. Just here, running the shop, fixing orders, you know..." You shrugged.
"Hongjoong sshi, I don't mean this in any way at all but what's the real reason you came here?" You finally asked him.
"(y/n) sshi, I feel like I owe you yet another apology." He confessed with an honest look on his face. The way he looked at you, it just reminded you of Mrs Kim.
"If it's about what happened last week-"
"No, I mean, yes. Partly. I... I know we're practically strangers but I've been treating you unfairly." Hongjoong sighed
"Okay, now you've lost me." You chuckled. Hongjoong was relieved that you laughed, making this conversation a whole more lighthearted than he thought it would be.
"Like I said when we first met here... Whatever my relationship with my mother was shouldn't have clouded my view or attitude towards you. It's just... I don't know... It seems like we knew her as a different person entirely." He rubbed his temples.
"I get it..." You nodded your head with a hum.
"But that shouldn't excuse how I've been towards you. I have to deal with my demons myself." He confessed.
"It's okay, Hongjoong sshi. I know it can't be easy with everything that's been happening. And honestly, it's conflicting to me too." You empathised with him.
"So I'm not crazy." He cracked a smile.
"Far from." You giggled, fixing up the bouquet. You momentarily left the conversation to put the bouquets in the fridge.
"But still, I apologise." He insisted.
"There's no need to but if you insist, apology accepted. And I think at this point, we can drop the formalities." You turned your head to say to him as you arranged the bouquets.
"I'd like that." He smiled kindly as you returned to the work bench. You noticed his ears turning a light shade of pink. Dropping formalities didn't immediately mean a friendship but at least you two were no longer just strangers. Whether you liked it or not, the universe keeps making your paths cross.
"(y/n), I have another request, if it's okay with you." Hongjoon gulped as he mentioned. You nodded.
"I'm not ready to talk about my mother. My relationship with her, your relationship with her. I'm not ready... But when I am, I hope you'll help me." He looked at you with desperate eyes.
"Of course, Hongjoong. Any time. Whenever you're ready." You smiled softly.
RINGGGG
"Ah, hang on." Hongjoong clicked his tongue, annoyed that his phone broke that moment you were having. He looked at his phone to see Yunho calling.
"What?" He hissed, turning away slightly. You weren't gonna eavesdrop so you just continued your work.
"Look, Yunho. Just... hire another gardener, you don't need to tell me this! You make decisions too, all 8 of us do. If you need some sort of approval, ask Hwa." Hongjoong threw his head back with a groan.
"Fine, fine... Yeah, sure. I'm not sure why you want to add to my workload with this but I'll look when I get home later... Yeah, whatever. Goodbye." Hongjoong hung up with a grumble, glaring at his phone as he did.
"Everything okay?" You stifled a laugh.
"Oh, yeah. It's nothing. One of my brothers can't seem to hire a gardener himself all of a sudden." Hongjoong clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes.
"Well, if it's not too much. If you're too busy to find a gardener now, I could help you in the mean time." You offered.
"What? Really? I don't want to make you busier, I'm sure you have a lot to do with the shop." Hongjoong shook his head.
"I wouldn't have offered if I couldn't. My shop is closed Sundays and Thursdays anyway, I could go once a week on those days to tend to the plants." You shrugged.
"Just until I have the time to find a gardener." Hongjoong said.
"Sure, whatever you're comfortable with. Do you have a picture of your backyard?" You asked.
"Oh, let me see. Although, I don't know what plants we have." Hongjoong took his phone out and scrolled through his pictures, trying to find the last time he took a picture of the backyard garden. When he finally found one, he showed it to you. Your eyes widened at the huge backyard. The fenced garden only took a portion of it.
"Wow... That's a big garden..." You couldn't help but be in awe.
"It is. But you'll just need to tend to the fenced area. The rest of the field behind it is not necessary." Hongjoong informed. That was where they killed or practiced weapons sometimes.
"Sure, I'll be there on Monday." You smiled, excited to be working in such a big garden space.
"Here's the address." Hongjoong took the small piece of paper from the table and scribbled it down for you.
"Thank you." You took the paper and tucked it into your pocket.
"When I came in here, I didn't think I would leave after having offered you a job." Hongjoong admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. You nodded in agreement.
"You never know what the universe has in store for you." You chuckled and cleared your work table.
"Thank you, (y/n). I have to return to work now but I'll see you soon." Hongjoong slid off the stool.
"You're welcome, Hongjoong. Thank you for stopping by. I'll see you Monday." You walked him to the door. He nodded and bowed politely before exiting the shop. You watched as a chauffeur opened the door for him to enter a luxury car before returning to drive off.
"What just happened?" You asked yourself in disbelief as you walked back to your shop counter. You told yourself you should steer clear but here you were, offering to work for him.
But it was too late to regret now, what's done is done. You knew you couldn't go back on your word.
You'll just go, tend to plants and leave. Simple.
"I'm not ready to talk about my mother. My relationship with her, your relationship with her. I'm not ready... But when I am, I hope you'll help me."
Hongjoong's words from earlier replayed in your head. It was so different, he looked and sounded so involuntarily vulnerable.
To be frank, you were not ready too. You were fond of Mrs Kim, she took care of you, cared for you.
But were you ready to hear how sour Hongjoong's relationship with her was? No, you were not ready to hear any of that. Especially since that wound still felt so fresh.
"I hope I don't regret this." You muttered to yourself.
~
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delulupunk · 1 day ago
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How the batboys would react to anniversaries!
Dick Grayson
He really tries his best to spend the day with you or carve out some time, but if you’re a civilian then it’s hard. He’s got to lead the titans, stop Mr Freeze, make sure Bruce doesn’t adopt anyone else, stop Mr Freeze again!
When he finally gets to you he makes it well worth your time. He’ll confidently give you your favourite flowers because he knows exactly which ones they are.
Dick is a diehard romantic so he’ll bring you back to where you had your first date, or wherever you first met depending on how memorable the moment was.
“Sooooo, I’m assuming you remember this place
” He’ll say with a cheeky smile- nervously he’ll add, “You do like it right?”
Expect a lot of nostalgia to the early days of your relationship, which will lead to you two falling in love with each other again.
“I wouldn’t miss this for the entire World.”
Jason Todd
“Well
 do you want to celebrate our anniversary?”
Jason doesn’t believe it should be any different from any other days in your relationship. Sure he wants to commentate and appreciate your time together, but you two shouldn’t be doing anything drastically different right? After all you both put a 110% into your relationship naturally.
He’ll definitely buy you a very thoughtful gift, most likely a book that reminds him of you. However Jason doesn’t have the confidence to give it to you in person, because he’s scared you’ll reject the idea or throw his affections back in his face.
Instead he’ll leave the gift for you on the beside table with a note. Which is short and to the point, but again he’s worried that he may be overestimating how much you truly care for him, so he acts aloof.
“For you, happy anniversary.”
Tim drake
He’ll probably be a few minutes late to the date looking totally disorientated. Shoving your favourite flowers into your hand he’ll breathlessly give you an apology.
“Sorry-“ pant, “riddler,” pant, “is crazy,” wheeze.
Tim is looking for more of a casual day rather than a massive extravagant event. He just wants to spend time with his lover and feel free to be himself.
The pair of you will go on a date doing something that you both find equally enjoyable so the day isn’t solely spent on one of you.
Tim’s definitely bought you something expensive to give you after the date is over. It’s something that reminded him of you when he walked past a store in the diamond district a few weeks ago and he couldn’t resist. Secretly he hopes you like it, one because his bank account took a bit of a dent, two the store doesn’t do returns and three he’ll be scared he doesn’t understand you properly.
“It suits you perfectly.”
Damian Wayne
You and Damian have dinner at Wayne Manor, which sounds very simplistic, but the little details are what makes the anniversary special.
Either you or Alfred will make the dinner, while Damian goes patrolling. This means he has the entire night to give to you and not Gotham.
You both dress up as if you’re going to a fancy gala and insist on no interruptions.
It’s just you and Damian with the fireplace silently rustling behind you and the opulence of Wayne Manor to embrace you.
The affair is quiet and romantic, not overstated and tiring. It’s just the right pace for you and Damian.
No words need to be said at the end of the meal as you both stare into the fireplace, save for a previous statement.
“Thank you for trusting me with your heart.”
Duke Thomas
“No it’s next week right?”
Duke is so sweet and loves you to the moon and back. Unfortunately he’s a bit forgetful. Duke however makes things up for you in an impressive fashion. If there’s one thing Duke knows it’s kindness.
You’d think he hadn’t even forgotten considering how he takes you to all the right places and says all the right things. The day goes by so quickly but it’s completely jam packed with activities.
“I know you always wanted to, so why not today!”
Since he forgot the anniversary he doesn’t buy you a specific gift, but to you the day in itself is a gift. He completely forgoes patrol all together for you.
“Please forgive me, I love you too much to let you go.”
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ghostlybailey · 2 days ago
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imagine:
having your first thanksgiving dinner with joe and his family. your relationship is still new, having yet to hit the year mark. joe was having it at his house since it was his first thanksgiving at the new house. you stayed up all night trying to make sure everything was perfect and ready to go. currently , you were setting the table with some thanksgiving plates, you couldn’t seem to get the placement right. joe ran to the grocery store to grab some extra things, when he walked in to see you getting flustered. ‘babe, everything’s perfect the way it is’ joe said as he walked up to you and kissed you on the forehead. ‘i feel like these napkins just don’t match the color scheme of the plates, it looks tacky to me’ you tell him. ‘listen everything’s going to have some much food on it and half of them will get throw away, so i really don’t think it matters’ he chuckles. you stop what you’re doing, put your hands on your hips and turn towards him, ‘Joseph i understand that, i want everything to be perfect because quite literally your whole family is coming over, half of which i haven’t met so if you can’t tell i’m extremely nervous about it. i’m trying really hard not to freak out right now.’ joe put the bags down and quickly looked at you when you used his full name, ‘baby, first please don’t call me by full government name unless i really fucked up, scared me. second, they’re going to love you regardless if everything is perfect or not. i want you here at this house, sitting at this table, surrounded by my family and enjoying each others company. now go upstairs, shower, get ready or whatever you need to do before they arrive’. he leans over and pecks your lips while lightly pushing you towards the stairs. ‘i just want perfection that’s all. why do you have to be so perfect? i’ll go get ready joseph’ you winked at him and then turning to walk upstairs. at the end of the night, everything went perfect, joes family adores you to no ends. it didn’t matter if the table was set. all that mattered was that everyone was happy, and you were surrounded by loved ones especially your loving boyfriend that you hoped this would be the first of many thanksgivings with him.
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grey-eyed-gemini · 2 days ago
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I used to get The Redwall Cookbook out of my school library all the time. I adored it, and dreamed of when I could try the recipes myself. So seeing 'Cross Cooks Redwall' post series made my heart soar.
Until this one.
I was so saddened to hear it tasted like crap. But then it became clear Cross had been tricked! Bamboozled! That the berries they had sourced were not even related to gooseberries!
And when I came across canned gooseberries in an English import store (shout out to the Friar Tuck Shoppe in Sherman Oaks, CA), I knew I needed to give it a shot myself. To clear this recipe's name.
So, today, I made the Greathall Gooseberry Fool.
Well. Sort of.
You see, canned food is. Always a challenge. Canning, while extending the shelf life of a product, often has the adverse effect of absolutely demolishing the quality. And this recipe is so simple there's really nowhere to hide. Not only that, but upon weighing, it was clear i wouldn't have a pound of fruit. So, I knew I was gonna have to punt.
So, what you'll need is:
1 package of unflavored gelatin
2 300 g cans of gooseberries in syrup (i used the Prince brand from the UK, but there appears to be an American brand called Oregon that has them as well)
2 scant 1/4 cup sugar, seperate
1 Tbsp sugar
1 Tbsp cornstarch
1/2 cup and 2 Tbsp milk, seperate
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
1. First, drained the berries, reserving the liquid. Set the syrup aside, and wash the berries well.
2. Put the berries in a pot with 1 of the 1/4 cups sugar and 1 Tbsp of the reserved syrup. Cook over medium low heat until the berries have mashed up and begin to bubble. It'll be very similar to making cranberry sauce. Remove from heat.
3. Pass the cooked berries through a mesh strainer to create a smooth puree. Taste the puree and add additional sugar to taste.
4. Place 3/4 of the reserved syrup in a seperate pot with the other 1/4 cup of sugar. Heat on low. Mix the powdered gelatine with the remaining 1/4 of the syrup. It should become thick and foamy.
5. Once the syrup has begun to steam (you do not want it to boil), remove it from the heat and whisk it into the bloomed gelatin. Let cool, and then pour into your serving dishes. Put the jelly into the fridge to set.
6. In a third pot, heat the 1/2 cup of milk over medium low. As it warms, mix the 2 Tbsp of milk, 1 Tbsp of sugar, and 1 Tbsp of cornstarch together in a bowl. When the milk begins to steam, whisk it into the cornstarch slurry, and then return all of the mixture to the pot. Heat until thick.
7. Remove from heat and let cool, stirring regularly to break up any clumps. Once cool, fold into the gooseberry puree.
8. Whip the 1/2 cup of cream until stiff. I'd recommend doing so with cold cream in a metal bowl for best results. Using a spatula or metal spoon, gently fold the cream into the custard and puree.
9. Gently spoon the fool over the set jelly and refrigerate until serving.
Voila, gooseberry fool with jelly!
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Now, to explain.
I lowered the amount of sugar for the puree due to the double whammy of having less berries and them being canned in syrup. However! The sugar is necessary to help cover the acrid bitterness of the aluminum, so I didn't cut it completely. I used syrup over water to help ensure the flavor was as strong as possible.
While I halved the recipe for the puree, I did not for the custard and cream. This is because, in the grand scheme of things, this is a very small recipe, and I didn't feel like trying to make a custard with a 1/4 cup of milk. Because I didn't, the gooseberry flavor isn't as strong as it should be, but it is still there. Especially since-
I made the syrup into a jelly! Now this was not part of the original recipe, but i am always loathe to toss something that can be used. And in this case, the syrup was a punch of gooseberry flavor. Like with the puree, the sugar is necessary to cut the flavor of the can, but is completely up to taste. I like it a bit more sour, but you could easily go up to a third cup if you have a sweet tooth.
Also, while I layered the fool and jelly, you could easily let the jelly set separately, break it up into small pieces with a fork, and then fold it into the fool to add little flavor bombs of texture.
Sharp eyes will also notice i didn't add the chocolate shavings. One, I don't have any bars to make into shavings, but two, the bigger reason, is that it adds nothing to the flavor or texture. And I'm of the opinion that if something is on the plate just for looks, it shouldn't be there.
Finally, it can be noted that I mixed the custard into the puree before the cream, rather than all three at once. This is a personal choice, because in my opinion, trying to mix all three together at once will result in you losing a lot of the air you whipped into the cream, which seems like such a waste of work.
And as for how it tastes? Well, it tastes like gooseberries! Gooseberries, to me are like elderflower- they have a flavor all their own, that's hard to compare to other flavors. Closest I can get is cross between white grapes and a light clementine. The fool is light and fluffy, flavorful and rich without being heavy. The jelly adds substance and a nice bite, and I think is a nice contrast in texture. Both are very smooth, but in different ways. I wouldn't want it often, but it's a nice refreshing dessert that's not ice cream.
This was a fantastic experiment, and it definitely proved that the recipe has merit. I'd happily make it again, perhaps with the mulberries that threaten to bury us every year...
Anyways, thanks to those who read this far, hope you have a fantastic day. Go forth, and make good food!
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Hihihi all! It’s startin to get hot out. Or maybe it already is hot. I can’t feel this. Today from the little book of mice and war we are making a chilled treat named “Great Hall Gooseberry Fool”.
(If you’d like to follow along with this foolish endeavor, original recipe is under the cut!)-
MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS
SO, “what goes in to a Great Hall Gooseberry Fool?” YOU MIGHT ASK
Gooseberries
Sugar
Cornstarch 
Milk
Heavy Cream
(Optionally, vanilla pudding)
Grated chocolate
SO funny story; the principal, crown jewel, fruit of this confection was federally outlawed until 1966, where it transferred to a state-by-state basis. Now, the state I live in doesn’t have any restrictions on ribes (the family of fruit the gooseberry belongs to), but due to the decades of being banned, its still super duper hard to find. I’m not keen on the deets but golden berries are a lot more common than gooseberries, despite being the same family,. The main difference between them seems to be appearance, and taste. This will be relevant. 
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AND, “what does Great Hall Gooseberry Fool taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK
As if you ground up a pregnant mammalian insect and its unbirthed internal egg clutch, and ate it. 
Kind of like a rancid orange. Meaty.  Grainy. Viscous. Acrid.
With many tiny seeds
The custards pretty good!
Texture overall reminds me of baby food. 
A schnasty exploding bullet that gives way to an infection. The grated chocolate makes it look even more unsanitary but it and the custard were the most enjoyable parts.
.I managed about 2 bites before my mouth dug its heels into my brain and halted. This was meant for UK gooseberries, and you cannot substitute for cape/golden berries. 
.substituted Gooseberries for ‘Golden Berries’ .used almond milk for ‘milk’  ———————————————————————————————————–
Yipes! YUH oh!YORK!
In the future I’d make this with blackberry or raspberry, maybe? What I’m able to gather between the flavor profiles of goose vs golden, they seem to be more comparable to those. It’s also very very possible I didn’t puree it correctly, it called for an amount of water that didn’t quite cover the fruit and combined with the sugar I noticed even on low heat it seemed to caramelize some pieces of fruit skin?
The custard part actually turned out super well! Considering I’ve never made custard before, or, actually tasted custard before- I was thoroughly impressed with how it turned out! If only I hadn’t folded all of it into the fruit.
The custard and chocolate shavings try to papermache the termite infestation, and its damn good papermache, but the termites eat that too. 3/10. didn’t give me food poisoning, wasn’t as bad as the time i needed a scented candle held to my face to force down a whey protein shake, still super duper nauseating. 
🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁
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