#But ofc I can't tell whether that's just anxiety

[nekrophoria]

.

[missmonsters2]

⚡ Scared of thunderstorms

🫂 Comforting hugs

With Tara>>>>

If you don't wanna that's okay but thank you😭

Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader/OFC

Warnings: hurt/comfort. exes trope. Tara is so slkdfjds. unbeta'd we die like ghostface.

Library Blog | AO3

Note: you saying it's okay if i don't wanna is so cute for some reason. I already did a thunderstorm & hug tara prompt, so I hope it's okay I made this hurt/comfort to change it up 😭

Count: 999 (🧍‍♀️)

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Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.

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You're in the middle of grocery shopping when your phone vibrates in your pocket, disrupting the music playing from your earbuds. You pull out your phone from your back pocket, looking at the screen before pursing your lip.

You debate whether to answer it or not, but the lingering anxiety under your skin doesn't allow you to ignore it.

With a puff of a quiet sigh, you answer. "Hey, Sam," you greet, slightly wary. 

"Hey," Sam greets back, and through the phone, you can hear the rain outside, and you know she must be standing near a window. There's a rumble of thunder, and your heart drops, knowing why she's called. "Listen, I wouldn't call you unless it was—"

"The last resort?" You finish her sentence and hear a resigned sigh on the other end. "Sam, I can't keep doing this—not after everything Tara put me through."

"I know," the words are terse, and you can practically hear Sam swallowing. "But no one can calm her down. Please—" Sam's voice is pleading desperately. "The neighbors are going to complain, and the landlord isn't exactly thrilled with us."

You pinch the bridge of your nose, taking a deep breath. Thunder rumbles, and you hear noises in the background, sighing in resignation, abandoning your grocery-filled cart. "Fine, I'll be there in 15 minutes."

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You're mostly dry when Mindy lets you through the door as you bring an umbrella. 

"Hey, stranger," Mindy greets you with a lopsided smile that seems sad. "Nice to see your face."

"Nice to see yours, too," you give a small smile back. It was good to see Mindy, you admit. Her witty and charming personality had been refreshing to be around. You grin. "Well, mostly."

"Fuck you," Mindy's smile turns amused. "My face could cure any ailment."

"Considering you got stabbed six months ago, I'll let you have that."

Mindy snorts as you walk through the apartment. You see Chad hanging by a bedroom door, and you give him a terse smile that he returns. 

"Are they in there?" You ask, and Chad nods, looking reluctant to tell you. 

"Yeah," Chad's jaw is clenched. "We've been trying to get her to sit down but she refuses."

You nod, running your hand through your hair nervously as you step past him, pushing the door open. 

"Tara, please, just sit down. It's just a little thunder, is all," You see Sam immediately, and Tara's standing far from the window, pacing back and forth with tears running down her face as she cries, looking manic. 

Sam notices you immediately, relief on her face, and you nod at her. She touches your shoulder, asking if you want to be alone.

Your first instinct is to say no, but you can't bear having Sam witness what's about to happen. So, you nod, trying to appear less tense. Sam notices, anyway, giving you an apologetic look before she exits the room. 

Tara doesn't even notice you initially, and you feel rooted in where you stand. But then, a white flash fills the room, and Tara looks at the window terrified, and you know you only have seconds before she starts screaming. 

"Tara," you say, forcing your voice to be louder than the rain. The sound of your voice snaps Tara's attention to you. Her eyes instantly well up at the sight of you as she rushes across the room toward you, throwing her arms around your waist as she holds you tightly. 

Your arms automatically return her hold, embracing her tenaciously in a way you know makes her feel safe. 

Her face is pressed into your neck, and you can feel the dampness of her eyes. Your name keeps falling from her lips repeatedly as she grasps at the back of your shirt. 

"Tara," you whisper, and she can only hear it through the vibration against her temple. "Tara, it's okay. I'm here."

"I'm sorry," Tara chokes out. "I'm so, so sorry." 

You swallow harshly, clenching your jaw as if it will ease the pain you feel in your chest. You know Tara's not apologizing for making you come here tonight. She's apologizing for the fact you're not here in the first place. 

Tara's saying sorry for accusing you so harshly that you were Ghostface. There was a part of you that understood it and forgave her for it, knowing the circumstances of her life and the fact that you're never supposed to trust the love interest. 

Tara's saying sorry for leaving you with a broken heart instead of letting you prove it wasn't you—and you would've done anything to prove it if you were given a chance. 

"It's okay," you rub her back soothingly to calm her down.

But it wasn't. 

"That doesn't matter."

At least, right now, it didn't. 

You walk with Tara in your arms, guiding her to her bed. She almost refuses to leave your arms, but you keep your hands on her as you climb into bed beside her. You lift your arm over her shoulder and pull her close as she rests her cheek against your collarbone. 

Tara is still crying as she adjusts and rests on her side, pressed against you. Her eyes are closed from exhaustion, but she refuses to sleep. Her brain is running amuck between fear of the thunderstorm and fear of you being gone when she wakes up. 

Tara knew it wasn't fair to you, but all she could do was think about how to keep you here and get you back. 

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"I miss you."

"Me too," you reluctantly admit with a sigh. 

"I know it's my fault," Tara whispers, "but I don't want to be without you."

You lean your head back, telling yourself to forget everything for now and enjoy holding someone you still love, even if they broke your heart. 

"Let's just talk after the thunderstorm, okay?"

Tara's hand moves to yours and grasp it, feeling better that you don't pull away. "Okay."

[rosesradio]

And about the Jercy mpreg ask, I love that neither of them ever consider pulling out. Yeah birth control won't work, condoms won't work, they TRIED pulling out but at some point started giving in to the temptation, the pleasure, and "Maybe having kids isn't so bad" type orgasms. Them trying and failing to use pull-out and the pleasure and desire being too much for it to work is such good food.

(What if Jasico smut with this concept as a prompt. I'm the Jasico smut anon I'll always return to them in the end /lh)

— Jasico smut anon 💙 🖤

oh yeah, c'mon now, pulling out with jercy Was Never an option

they essentially have a breeding kink atp i'm convinced. i think if percy asks jason would %100 do anything to support him, though he also can't help thinking...what's the point? if he can't have percy fully, if he can't fill him up with the thought of Getting Him Pregnant (whether jason actually wants that or not) (he does), what's the point at all?

& ofc with the jasico addition, now i'm just thinking about them in this scenario—& i'm gonna derail to talk about that For You (& for me lol)

in this scenario, jason would be the top (even though i push cucciolo like it's The Ancient Texts but i'll ignore poor bottom!jason for this all the same lol). nico would be really anxious about the idea of getting pregnant, & ofc jason would be super accomodating to anything nico needs, despite how his desire drives him up the wall during the lunar periods

nico's desire would, for once, overshadow his anxiety, & he'd beg for jason to use him. he knows jason loves anything he wears (especially dark skinny jeans and leather jackets), though nothing makes him want nico more than when he's in jason's clothes. he sports one of jason's oversized chb shirts and his boxers, his hair messy & eyes dark with need. jason, of course, is gone for nico.

(he can't help wondering how bad it would really be to have kids if they had nico's eyes)

nico would suggest being on top, that way he could have control and could pull off whenever jason says he's close. so, nico ends up in jason's lap, riding him like he hadn't been with him in ages (it's been a couple days, max). he's still in jason's oversized shirt, smelling like him, and it drives jason wild with the need to claim nico in every possible way.

(if jason were to get nico pregnant, everyone would know he was the only one that could have him. he was the only one that could fill him up and hear the needy whines from his lips)

jason wants to support nico, though the haze of his own desire ebbs away at that support with nico's every bounce. he wants to grab nico's hips, to still him and push up into him and keep him from pulling off when he needs him most.

jason swallows. nico asks if he's close. he tells the truth, and though his moral compass is cheering him on, he still hates himself a little.

then nico murmmurs that he doesn't care, that he wants jason to come inside him. what's the harm in them having a kid? they're safe, and they love each other, and...and...

jason knows its a haze of desire, that they're giving into some fucked up biology, but he doesn't care. he wants nico to be his, to be marked by him & smell like him & carry his kids. most of all, he wants to live inside nico like this, for as long as he can stand it.

his high hits him like a truck, and he's grasping nico's shirt, driving up into him as nico moans against his lips. moments after the final aftershocks pass, jason grasps nico's face in his hands.

he asks what they just did, disbelieving that they broke the very rule they said they wouldn't. of course, his words are still soft—he would never yell at nico, and the fault in this was with both of them.

but nico is surprisingly content, his gaze fond and even, seeming more sure of himself than ever. jason can't help but be relieved to see that his anxiety seems to have gone away for now.

nico just tells him that he would be a good dad, and he nuzzles into the crook of his neck.

and yeah, jason thinks, his mind racing with thoughts of the future, as well as what he needed to do now to take care of nico.

maybe he would be a good dad.

[smallidarityfan]

ask game! smallidarity. i just wanna hear someone talk about them<3

you are my enabler tumblr user hellish-hyperfixation

Ship It

• What made you ship it?

I can't exactly remember when I started to, but it was sometime after watching Joel's esmp 2 around mid 2022 when I realized that the man would always mention Jimmy at least one time per video. and i was like. holy crapos. i know what they are.

Though I also vividly remember the first time I watched Joel through Last Life, he met Jimmy in some cave and bullied him and I was also like: "what?!?! being mean in minecraft roleplay?!??!?!! that is just like the popular ship bakudeku from the hit series my hero academia (literally barely watched the show)"

• What are your favorite things about the ship?

THEYRE SOOOO......... THEYRE............. ok. ok ok ok. other than the fact that I just really like enemies to lovers type shii, the way that Joel would go lengths to protect Jimmy whether in the life series or empires (see the times when fwhip or scott would bully Jimmy and then Joel rushes in to kill them) despite being the one to bully him in the first place,

or when Jimmy would be a victim to Joel's teasing, actively says he hates it, yet always seems to gravitate towards being around Joel and doing the things he tells him to without question??— the way it then seems like he'd never admit that they're friends (or. in love) and yet 2 seconds later he'd just be like "guys i love Joel so much. wait what who said that?"

And then the Exclusive Flirting?!??!?!! both Jimmy and Joel have canonical esmp husbands (scott and sausage) and yet neither of them ever so much flirts with their husbands much more then they flirt between themselves?????? Hello??!?!?!?! flirting after a whole enemies to lovers shtick??!?! in MY empires smp?!?!?! The way they call each other babe (other than their actual partners ofc LMAO) but not to anyone else?!?! Even in the life series!!! See that 1 clip where Etho professed love to Joel but gets shut down, or when Sausage called Jimmy 'babe' but was like "What? only Joel calls me babe..." and then on the Smallidarity side you get clips of them mutually confessing to each other???????

Jimmy's known Martyn longer than he's known Joel, and Joel's known Oli longer than he's known Jimmy, and yet just from X life 3 years ago they immediately snapped together as best friends the moment they met and then proceeds to do pet play in some quad account merging youtuber competition (sniffermyfeet piglinmynose video).

ykwhatimsaying. the clips basically do all the work honestly.

• Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

eughhh this is hard because i dont know much about the other opinions on this ship? OH ACTUALLY some people take their relationship to be that of a Joel dom-ing type situation where he takes advantage of his bully stance in order to date Jimmy, but i take it more in the shonen manga style way? eg: it's because Joel likes Jimmy that Joel bullies him (in a tsundere way)

To me, Joel fundamentally isn't brash or aggressive in nature, it's just the way he ends up communicating as such. His character has bits of anxiety sprinkled in (you can see from how jittery his movements are in-game), while his main value is just being calm and playing singleplayer hardcore minecraft for 600 hours building pretty little structures yk?

So normally, I don't think Joel would be as naturally aggressive as people take him to be in the smallidarity dynamic? Maybe only when Joel feels tense is when he'd start being mean n stuff, and maybe you could associate that with feelings for jimmy i guess. (highschool au brewing in my mind rn)

[foxboyscott]

bro. Rodney hcs. bc I can.

•Trans girl (Idk her name yet, so sorry 4 the deadname girlie)

•cannot tell feelings apart for the life of her. she just assumes it's love whenever she feels anything for a woman, whether it be admiration, gender envy, wanting to be friends uhhh... girl + emotion = romance, yeah?

•she also has social anxiety, i know what it's like to mistake the blushing and stuttering and tight feeling in your chest for love, because a lot of the stereotypical 'signs of love' in media are similar. so she feels herself blushing and getting nervous and goes "that means i like them, right?"

•also she just. seeks affection

•and doesn't have many friends bc of her anxiety and when she does she does she has trouble relating to guys, and i mean, didn't realize friendships with girls was a thing lol

•this ties in to the age old Rodney and Scott sibling hc (Rodney is the younger sib). i mean. i kinda accept that as canon at this rate tbh

•Remember when Dawn said Scott "wasn't held enough as a child"? with the sibling hc, Rodney and Scott probably had similar upbringings, so Rodney is ofc kinda just chasing affection she never really got.

•she probably didn't know much about trans people b4

•I feel like she heard the concept and avoided it because lowkey jealousy "dang. these transgirls transition from guys into beautiful girls? lucky." like. she didn't realize being trans was something you had to discover, that there was a telltale sign, or those people always knew

•pushed back those thoughts because "everyone feels like that, right? I just love girls!"

•if she were smaller she would probably express herself more femininely b4 the egg cracked, but feels like she can't pull it off because she's bulkier, and feels extra pressure to conform to masculine ideals.

•hell, if she were smaller she would've probably transitioned sooner, but another reason she rejects being trans as a possibility at first is because she looks too masculine, so surely she can't be trans, and cant be a girl, even if she wanted to (that's the devil talking)

•basically one hell of a dysphoria

•I feel like her Sky, Ella, and Sammy get along well after she stops being so girl-crazy (still lesbiab tho)

•pls she needs to be one of the girls, pls accepting friend group PLS

•sorry for my ship propaganda, but Rodney and Ella duets go crazy. Ella needs someone to duet with pls (Imma make a big Rodnella post sometime probs)

•Sammy, Ella and Rodney have karaoke nights (Sky doesn't participate often, but occasionally agrees)

•they're all pretty calm girlies, so, I feel like they would just enjoy casual hangouts. peace and love on planet earth tbh

[raeygina-george]

Hey Raey :)

Hide/Midnight/Mistake - for the not so nice OC ask game!

Select any 2 from the three options (or answer all 3 if you wanna! Upto you :D)

hide: What does your OC hide? Why do they hide it?

hmmmm.... i'll answer these for oliver and maybe a little emi and ezra too, because i like them a lot. oliver is known for hiding his own fatigue and mental health issues for other people's sake, but honestly, he's really bad at it. like if you just take one look at him you can very clearly tell that he is Not Actually Functioning Well.

his brother ezra on the other hand? poker face of a god. ezra is pulling all As, working long hours at a cafe, and still finding time to hang out with emi and comfort oliver. ezra is the dark horse, the real MVP of this household. ezra is also probably so emotionally repressed that he doesn't even realize he's mentally ill. lol

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

oliver has nightmares about kye's death ofc; he's kept up with guilt and the fear that it will happen again. ultimately, to him, this was an incredibly fatal mistake born from his failures as a big brother. and like. listen. these guys are good siblings who look out for each other but their relationships aren't exactly the picture of healthy. they've developed a codependency and everyone has this self-sacrificial mindset where they value their sibling's fleeting happiness over their own lives. like it's Bad guys. oliver takes on a Lot of unnecessary responsibilities because like. he's the oldest child, and he's trying to be the father figure that he needed so badly but didn't have. so yeah he spends a shit ton of time worrying about his siblings and trying to make sure they don't go and die on him

mistake: What's the worst mistake your OC ever made? What led to them making it? Have they been able to fix it? How have they moved on?

oliver's mistake is pretty obvious! but let's look at it from kye's perspective. so kye's thing is that they actually really really didn't want to die. kye loved their shitty little life with a passion. the problem was that they loved their siblings more. kye explicitly states that they regret their decision, but wouldn't make a different one if they got the chance to redo it. because while it was completely impulsive, not well thought through at all, and probably more trouble than it was worth, kye was able to start anew in the afterlife and just live without the fear of being a gigantic burden on anybody. and like. they don't have contact with their siblings, they can't tell whether or not that was a gigantic hit to everyone's mental health! but no, kye has not moved on

[psychelis-new]

Lys, can I ask what made you decide to develop your spiritual gifts? (even despite being among people that shun it😢)

I’ve found out not recently that I have gifts that let me know more about my future. Two tarot readers (through personal readings) had said that I should develop them. But I’m not sure whether I want to..

It’s nice to be aware of the consequences of my decisions, but they made me feel over-conscious and over-anxious..

I’m sure my Guides and Angels meant well. Perhaps they want to ease my path. But I can’t see the light in these gifts yet :(

Hey, sure!

Let me tell you something first. You know, I think it all comes down to realizing what you really want out of your life and who you want to be and what you want to do with those gifts (and if you think they can be part of your life and how/when).

It's not an ease and immediate decision: many people also decide to close off from their gifts for any reason, maybe they also don't feel ready or okay with them (maybe don't don't fully understand them nor want to) and rather have a different type of life which ofc is valid as long as they decide with a light heart about it. Another reason could be because of the fear of being judged (which btw is not on them but depends on issues and fears that belongs solely to the person judging them and how "scared" they are of the subject, since we're speaking about spirituality rn. it depends on the environment they grew up in and again their own triggers, not on the gifted/judged person). But ofc it's not easy to deal with this anyway, it requires time whatever the decision is.

Your premonitory gifts do carry a lot with them, maybe not just as for what concern your life (Idk). And you have to take time to realize the conditions under which you want (if you even want, ofc) to develop them and understand them. It's a lot, and nobody should blame you if you don't feel ready (which doesn't mean you won't in the future: you can wait for a better moment if you feel safer to not navigate that world right now). You can take your time to heal yourself first, and see where this anxiety/fear related with your gifts come from (fear of not being able to "possess" them, not being enough, being judged and left out....) and try to take care of you now, no matter if you one day will embark on a deeper journey with them or not. You said it too, you can't see the light in those gifts now and that's totally fine. Don't pressure yourself. I think at times we do get messages and realize something also about our future but it's never to scare us or pressure us into doing that specific thing. I think now it was just time to let you know about this chance, so that you can work on also what's related with your gifts to make your life better (whether you'll use them or not). You're still in charge of your life, you're not obliged to do anything (as when you read pacs and you don't resonate/agree with some messages). There's just this chance, and it doesn't mean that if you don't accept it now it will disappear: we're also talking about your gifts, so they will stay with you anyway. Take a breath and just let things happen as they are supposed to. Always follow yourself and what you feel is right for you at any given time.

For me I think it was different (everyone has their story, we can't compare). I always had clairs since when I was a kid, but never really knew what it was about. I never really paid too much attention to spirituality (cause here it's not supported), just did my mandatory religious stuff as my parents wanted me to, and it all stopped there. Never really practiced much until a time I started to get a little closer again to what's above (especially after a huge loss). I have always been interested in astrology though cause I found it fascinating. Never digged too much into it but the basic synastry aspects were an occasional hobby of mine. I am generally a very curious person tbh and I think my 8th house stellium + some scorpio placements always pushed me towards "the darker side" as well. And probably also my Guides did, even if I wasn't aware of them. But I got more into spirituality by chance and suddenly. I started learning more also here on tumblr, joining free games/readings (also for fun), trying to understand... it felt like fated. And very natural too. I started to practice more and try out more divinations methods (as I felt too) and grow more in contact with my Guiudes. I didn't really made a decision, it just happened. And despite I had to take some breaks cause of my healing journey (and huge tower moment connected with this long eclipse period of the last 2 years) I always had the need to come back and try to get better and help more people. So yeah, I just felt it was right for me, it was what I always wanted to do. When I was a child my dream was to save lives. I couldn't become a doctor nor a vet, it wasn't my real call (I was/am also too sensitive for that probably). I turned onto something else, leaning onto nature and art. I learned one can save lives in many different ways, and I think that also trying to lend a hand to people and helping them back up from the ground by offering support and guidance (to a certain limit ofc as at a certain point you need to ask a professional/medical figure), but also relief, chill/fun and understanding, can be one of them. I have also got readings (well, happened to read readings) in which I was told that what I had experienced in my life was also to help me understand others' lives and try to help them out. So I'm just trying to follow what has always been my call, no matter the triggers about it (those are just up to me and my own personal life which I am responsible to heal).

Hope this somewhat helps you. Again, do not feel pressured in doing anything you don't feel okay doing. Not just in your everyday life, but also in your spiritual one. Take your time to understand it all (and yourself) and take care<3

[glamorchild]

it is already done.

omg so like I'm so, so sorry for not posting a thing! thank you sm for followers!! i was freaking out of how much i saw! i just post a new video (Jeanie jean) pretty girl w/ a pretty aura ♡ i really hope you guys support it as much i love you all :))

this was inspired by a video: If You're Seeing This, It is Already DONE | Neville Goddard

it's so good and it's short too!

3d shouldn't be your validation.

to time, us humans aren't known to be patient (which that's ok ofc). but when it comes to manifestions, you shouldn't be looking at the 3d for your validation. what do i mean by that? let's use analogy!

Validation: the action of checking or proving the validity or accuracy of something.

why you should try to ask your self if the yolk in the egg is REALLY in there? because if you crack the egg, the yolk is there anyway. so why should you ask your self why your desires aren't coming because it IS there, you already have it. it's like atoms pushing and pulling the thoughts you think and what's gonna manifest next. and the fact you said ''why isn't my desire coming?'' then your desire isn't coming since you stated it yourself.

you're instantly manifesting 24/7 at all times; when you're sleeping and when you're conscious or unconscious about your own thoughts. like Neville Goddard said…, our thoughts create reality.

so how can we STOP checking the 3d validation? and how can we stop this anxiety we're feeling now?

you should know whatever you're feeling of your desire right now (if you're just manifesting RIGHT NOW or trying to) just know that it is coming, it is here, and there's nothing to stop it! if you want a desire to come true. then it is TRUE. your 4d is in YOU. whatever you say is true, it is true. only thing that is going to stop it is YOU. that's why i always say. PERSIST, PERSIST, and PERSIST! keep on telling yourself you will have your desire because nothing is stopping you. tell me one person who would stop your desires to come true? oh wait, it's you. seeing lack of movement? PERSIST. SP being rude to you but you want them to love you? PERSIST. persisting is just telling yourself you would have the thing you want because it is true and nothing stops you.

yes, you would have EVERYTHING that you want dearly because look. it is YOUR reality. if you have everything in your 4d reality, why are you still checking your 3d for it? it may take some time but it's there… you can't see it but it's there in front of you. you are LIMITLESS. do not care about people talking shit about you because guess what? you have your desire whether it would be a 5million lotto or getting an 11 pro max. aren't you 'feeling' about that? literally. your feelings are valid but they're nothing against you! :))

THAT'S IT Y'ALL! thank you so much for reading this far (it's kinda short but THX) i just want to write this down because i have poor memory to remember for next day.

have a great day, eat fresh and be fresh….

light out, i am glamorchild!

Affirmations

i am powerful, beautiful and abundant

whenever i say my desire is true and it is here; it is true because i said so

i am open-minded about my desires

my desires are here

i am thankful that my desires are here. i work so hard to get them and now there are here? thank me! i just love how i instantly manifest anything by lifting a finger! i love myself!

why do i have such quick powers to manifest anything i want?

i get whatever i want because it's my rules and i said so

[arytha]

orchid, cactus, bamboo, abelia, daffodil, mahonia, chia, camellia, jasmine, ivy, chamomile, aloe vera, palm tree, taro for get-to-know-me asks?

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect?

I. So I don't consider things by 'perfection' honestly but Fuck is CLASS::EXSPHERE_NOSURGE; a song that will forever kick my ass. Absolute favourite song of all time.

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

Waves my little Chinese Mandarin language learning app 'Hello Chinese' that helps (but with how i remember to do stuff i keep forgetting to do things) me remember that I actually did take 2 years of Mandarin in school.

bamboo ⇢ do you change into a different outfit when you get home?

Yeah I generally change out of my scrubs and into pjs. Usually a tank top and shorts 👍 be comfy

abelia ⇢ do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with?

Nope. Actually I used to wear a ring all the time, and then I lost it. And I used to wear a necklace all the time but I kept putting it in my mouth and it wore off the cheap silver coating. (for reference these were both while i was in middle school). I can't stand wearing jewelry daily anymore, it gets in the way.

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them?

Yep, two younger brothers. I don't get along well at all with the older one (nothing in common at all), but the youngest has a similar humor as me and we're pretty good friends..

mahonia ⇢ what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does?

Ehhhhh. Mainly reading inspires me the most honestly. Sometimes a song will also give me the executive function to create too, but it depends on whether I have the time to draw or write at the time!

chia ⇢ what’s an inside joke you have with someone else?

Logan and I have an adage we quote all the time which is simply: Don't worry about it.

Character is showing a weird side in a show we're watching? Oh, don't worry about it.

I make a weird noise? Don't worry about it.

Didn't catch the last half of a lewd joke or simply just a sentence he's said? Don't worry about it.

Its used more maliciously (in jest) than anything but its the funniest fucking thing we've let become a running joke.

camellia ⇢ what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot?

Ah. Well, I basically wasn't a human being until 2018 or so, so.... Trauma (and clinical depression and overwhelming anxiety) did a number on me. Its actually rather hard to remember my life unless I focus on really trying to remember things. I was a lot quieter tho, read books to escape reality, and had like. No friends. I tried to validate myself through internet 'friends' and made a lot of mistakes in the pursuit of being a human. I have changed a lot (and I better have, i've healed and matured quite a bit), but I do think I still hold some of my core. qualities i think.

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?

I'm never reading The Series of Unfortunate Events again. You can't make me. I LOVE the books. I cannot read them again. I Own the books (in nice shiny hardcover with the original printing, too), they are never going to be anything more than used space on my shelf.

ivy ⇢ what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired?

Uhhh my state of attentiveness I think. Logan says I enter 'screensaver mode' when tired but I'm not sure what actually changes. They can usually pinpoint it straight away tho fhdjs

Like if I'm more attentive and listening and engaging with you (ofc this is more for real life/voice call) im usually in a better state, I tend to tune things out when i get upset or tired or annoyed. Idk.

chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?

I have suuuuuch a soft spot for plushies. Its insane how soft I am over even just. a little guy. I don't even collect plushies but they always end up being my favorite present somehow. My coworker gave me a really soft Pusheen last year for my birthday(? or xmas) and god that thing lives at the end of my bed now but i was holding on to it daily for Months.

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?

Living in a house and not having anything in it that would deter me from. wanting to go home?This is a genuine first thought don't look into it too much..

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

am i allowed to like the little shit that is Asahi from ffxiv (the answer is no. I love him tho (and Fandaniel))

taro ⇢ if someone called you right now to catch up, what’re the things you’d tell them about?

(if they're close enough) I'd probably talk a bit about my recent art for Era and Lorne? I don't have a life that's bery interesting unless you are willing to let me babble about my recent hyperfixations...

[aethersea]

I think it's worth pointing out that there are two things kinda being conflated here, and also kinda overlapping – being perceived & perceiving. I'm saying this as someone who also hasn't watched these movies, so grain of salt lol, but Don't Look Up is basically "if you don't acknowledge the horror then it can't get you (yes it can)" while A Quiet Place is basically "if the horror can't find you then it can't get you."

(idk where Nope falls bc Jordan Peele is too good at his job so I've carefully avoided watching any clips or trailers. too scary. no idea where the nun thing falls either bc I haven't heard of it, though it sounds like a really interesting combo of these two.)

so first is the fear of being perceived, and I mean, we do live in the age of big data. fun little corporate panopticon we're all just marinating in. with that, plus the whole thing where we've known for an open fact the US government is spying on everyone to an egregious degree for, god, a decade now, and all that happened was Snowden had to go on the run for life – I feel it makes sense that we might have a pervasive society-wide anxiety about being noticed by a powerful force not entirely within our comprehension, which will devour us without a second thought.

and then the fear of perceiving, which I feel is more fatalistic/despairing. Don't Look Up is about how we're all fucking doomed and there's nothing we can do about it. feels like an unsubtle metaphor for climate change, though ofc I haven't watched it so I can't say for sure, but it applies really well to the pandemic too – there are all these problems that we're all aware of, but we feel powerless to do the slightest thing about them, and the people who do have power are using it on frivolous excess and/or saving only themselves. the movie's not even a horror story, except in the way that all satire is a form of horror.

(and like. as individuals, we are powerless. the solution™ to problems that affect the whole planet is to band together. but that's not something the american national psyche is really equipped for, conceptually – we're saturated in individualism so thoroughly that it's genuinely hard to apply any other philosophy to our own subjectivity.)

there's definitely an overlap between these two fears. part 1 of the overlap is maybe Bird Box – the fear that if you acknowledge the horror, it'll get you. this feels like the attitude behind all these loosened or absent covid restrictions even while people are still constantly dying – if we just act like there's no pandemic, then it's not real! it's the essence of your point about not facing up to things, like a child hiding under the blankets because if you can't see the monster then it can't see you.

the other part of the overlap might be the nun thing you mentioned – you keep your eyes fixed on something, don't look up, don't acknowledge the horror, and you're still fucking doomed because it's not actually up to you whether you're perceived. you can hold still and avert your eyes, you can run and you can hide, but it's all futile: the horror comes for us indiscriminately, impersonally, and there is no individualism really, we're all equally irrelevant in the face of the horror. we try to tell ourselves otherwise, we try to fool ourselves that we're special, but we all die just as easy no matter how we might struggle.

the one part I saw of Don't Look Up was the very end, as the meteor strikes. the movie cuts between moments of connection, courage, defiance, and love. we all die just as easy, that ending says, but that doesn't make the living any less meaningful. our connections to others transcend the banality of death – not only because we then live on in others, but because the connection itself is worthwhile, no matter how brief or how abrupt its end.

a beautiful ending, so much so that I almost watched the movie for it, and the avenue by which an individualist worldview usually aims for collectivism. and look, it is working. slowly, ponderously, but it is. if the horror is climate change, well, just a hundred years ago you couldn't see the sky in half the cities of the world because the pollution was a permanent cloud, rivers through major cities were too toxic for life, species around the world hurtled toward extinction and barely anyone cared (statistically speaking). but a hundred years of regulation and collective effort have slowly, painstakingly, cleared the skies and the waters, brought species back from the brink of extinction, and taught your average person on the street the importance of ecological preservation. if the horror is the pandemic, a hundred years ago the spanish flu killed more people than world war one, but we had covid vaccines within a year of the virus being identified. if the horror is the panopticon.....no actually that one's just worse. but we are fighting it, in a myriad ways, from all of us installing adblock to the US justice department suing google for monopoly. and I mean, look at all the unionizing that's been happening in the past few years, and the immense boom of them in just the last few months. we're getting better at collectivism. the fight for a better world is long and slow and full of stumbling, but it is ongoing. it spans far longer than a single human life.

I hope our children's children look back on us with sympathy, but I also hope they look back with that same detached uncertainty we feel about Victorian sexual mores or Cold War paranoia. I hope they don't quite get it, even when they understand intellectually. I hope ecological conservation is a foregone conclusion for them, the panopticon a thing of the barbaric past, public health an obvious priority. they'll have new fears, and new battles, but they'll be better at fighting them than we are. we're getting better at this. we just have to keep going.

changes and trends in horror-genre films are linked to the anxieties of the culture in its time and place. Vampires are the manifestation of grappling with sexuality; aliens, of foreign influence. Horror from the Cold War is about apathy and annihilation; classic Japanese horror is characterised by “nature’s revenge”; psychological horror plays with anxieties that absorbed its audience, like pregnancy/abortion, mental illness, femininity. Some horror presses on the bruise of being trapped in a situation with upsetting tasks to complete, especially ones that compromise you as a person - reflecting the horrors and anxieties of capitalism etc etc etc. Cosmic horror is slightly out of fashion because our culture is more comfortable with, even wistful for, “the unknown.” Monster horror now has to be aware of itself, as a contingent of people now live in the freedom and comfort of saying “I would willingly, gladly, even preferentially fuck that monster.” But I don’t know much about films or genres: that ground has been covered by cleverer people.

I don’t actually like horror or movies. What interests me at the moment is how horror of the 2020s has an element of perception and paying attention.

Multiple movies in one year discussed monsters that killed you if you perceived them. There are monsters you can’t look at; monsters that kill you instantly if you get their attention. Monsters where you have to be silent, look down, hold still: pray that they pass over you. M Zombies have changed from a hand-waved virus that covers extras in splashy gore, to insidious spores. A disaster film is called Don’t Look Up, a horror film is called Nope. Even trashy nun horror sets up strange premises of keeping your eyes fixed on something as the devil GETS you.

No idea if this is anything. (I haven’t seen any of these things because, unfortunately, I hate them.) Someone who understands better than me could say something clever here, and I hope they do.

But the thing I’m thinking about is what this will look like to the future, as the Victorian sex vampires and Cold War anxieties look to us. I think they’ll have a little sympathy, but they probably won’t. You poor little prey animals, the kids will say, you were awfully afraid of facing up to things, weren’t you?

[futurefind]

//4am is worst time to try and put it into words but i keep Wanting to talk about it and failing to so like!! before i forget procrastinate again!!!

i just worry that like. because I'm so enthusiastic and like. 'loud'? people think i'm no anxiety and/or can't be told no?? and so people just roll with whatever i say for sake of not rocking the boat even if they want something different or i'm getting repetitive or that i'm overwhelming them????

and emphasis on the last bit bc like... i very much ping pong between 'too anxious to say anything at all'/low communication and 'worry i'm bothering/overwhelming them bc im repetitive and have cant shut up disease'/walls of text and sdghsdhgsh ;_;

idk ik everyones got social issues even before like. social and/or rp traumas but like. idk. i appreciate + would appreciate continued support patience (or what have you) wrt like... giving clear signals ig???

whether it's all but Literally psspsspssing me to talk to you more, showing/telling me (incl via like. tiny reacts like emojis etc) you're appreciating what i Am babbling at you, and/or telling me to slow the roll / shift gears / Be Quiet etc whenever you feel the need to yk!! (all of these ofc Only being done when you genuinely want to!!!)

including, btw, sbing/unfollowing/etc if the chemistry or w/e is gone too!! ;w; if you'd rather leave then!! do so!! i'd much rather everyone do what they're comfy with than stick around Just for the sake of it or w/e (coming back always an option but also if not! gl and good life and what have you!)

[iridescentclaws]

x_x So many numbers to worry about. Anxious about seeing doctor again on Tuesday and also other appointments that haven't been arranged yet.

I think I'm doing okay so far. i think I'm mostly used to the needles/poking myself since it's not as bad as I thought it'd be. Fucking annoying I have to do it before every meal + before bed. At least before bed it's just for checking blood sugar but still. I miss not caring about what I had to eat. I wouldn't say my diet before was healthy but also wasn't the worst. I miss being able to eat comfortably, have sweets every now and then. I miss my microwave udon and ramen. Miss my hot cocoa. Didn't get to enjoy at least one candy cane before I got diagnosed

I did sleep okay last night, didn't wake up several times. But I still feel so tired. Feel like I have no time for anything because all this is taking up so much real estate in my head.

And I think I've been doing better to manage my feelings and stress over this. It had to have been impacting my blood sugar because I've been eating so little, doing my best to keep carbs, sugar, fats, and sodium down. Everything. Because of that it's also been a struggle to make sure I'm actually getting enough calories. It's such a headache. And all the advice I see when I google is just like "Cook a 20 ingredient dish that would take you easily an hour or more to make!"

And I know it's healithier and better that way but I just don't have the energy. I was depressed before, how do you think I feel now?

I keep telling myself to go look up recipes so we can get groceries to do so and every time I go and look I'm just feeling like "I can't do that.."

I've been having bell peppers with cream cheese and smoked salmon for the past 3 days I think it's been. I don't mind cooked bell peppers but I've been having them uncooked cause it's fast. also Idk I'm sure it would alter the nutritional values if I did. And it just sucks. Especially with such a tiny amount of cream cheese. It's the texture, a lot of foods if the texture is off I can't enjoy it. I can get it down but sometimes it's a struggle. Having shitty plain oatmeal sucked, was like eating cement. I added a bit of cinnamon but that barely helped. And I know there's more things I can add, like sweetner or fruit or whatever. but for me it's still a lot of work and thinking, and I didn't have anything like that around so that's what I had.

I've been trying to find apps and stuff to just plan meals for me but it's such a headache and a lot of them you gotta pay a subscription. I just want to be able to prepare everything without thinking so hard about it. I don't think I have dyscalculia but I'm often running numbers through my calculator over and over and over again + asking others to check my math on top of that. Re-reading over and over. I get so paranoid and its justt dfghdghhh

I just wish I could have something like dog kibble and just have that for every meal. would it still make me feel depressed just having the same shit over and over again? Maybe, but I'd KNOW for a fact I'd be getting all the nutrients I need and very easily and efficiently. So that fear is just eliminated. also sometimes watching like mukbang/food review channels while I eat helps. It makes me feel like I'm eating that instead of the fucking air I've been eating.

I'm trying so hard not to feel one way or another about this because like I said I'm worried about my stress levels affecting my blood sugar, whether or not that's something that can happen but i've been told by others it can. and ofc it was really bad those first few days and also the entire week. I feel scared to cry, to be angry, to have any kind of stressful emotions and it's making me feel so numb like I have to be a robot. having anxiety and paranoia on top of that, something I can't fully help it just makes things so hard

also i've had to take insulin every single time after I was given it. there has not been one time where it was not over 130, cause anything at that or lower I don't have to take it. But I have that and metformin and still it's been higher than that. doing my best to walk for at least an hour after every meal to help that.

i wish I could've somehow had a day to be like.. the last day I can just enjoy food and not care. I wish I could've gone to a seafood buffet one more time, had as much as I wanted. had as much sushi as I wanted, had as much dim sum as I wanted, as much soup and stew and ice cream and cake and fries and potatos.

oh well.

there's really no point in complaining about it

[linosies-library]

school stress - skz reaction (hyung edition)

in which your exam period leaves you stressed, tired, and at anything but your best.

wc: 669

pairing: boyfriend!skz x gn!reader

genre: comfort fluff, can be seen as angst to comfort (?)

warnings: drabble-y, mentions of stress, schoolwork, conflict with partners, symptoms of anxiety, food/eating (and lack thereof)

requested

hyung line | maknae line

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ

𝚋 𝚊 𝚗 𝚐 𝚌 𝚑 𝚊 𝚗 . as you can imagine, the absolute sweetest. constantly checking in with you whether by text or calling, and definitely asks you to come to his studio instead of confining yourself under piles of books and papers and blankets in your room, because we all know working in your bed can trick your brain into thinking bed time = work time. it's a great way for both of you to spend time together and keep each other from overworking. he'd encourage you to take coffee and snack breaks, and some cuddle breaks where you can both listen back on what he's been working on! I think chan's main goal would be to comfort you, care for you, and give you a comfortable environment you can escape to when you're feeling overwhelmed and your brain is scrambled. need to vent about crappy project partners? he'll listen and giggle as you go off. can't find the words for your essay? he'll have you talk it out or share what he's written, hoping to inspire you the way you do him. have a test you're worried about and feel like nothing's sticking? he'll ask you gently to explain your coursework as you cuddle, helping you realize you know a whole lot more than you realized.

𝚕 𝚎 𝚎 𝚔 𝚗 𝚘 𝚠 . okay another sweet one and yes I'll say it with every member in case you forget. but ofc we know that he either 1) doesn't like to show it or 2) shows it in his own unique way. you are his absolute favourite person and the light of his life and he despises seeing you upset and stressed and neglecting yourself for stupid tests and projects. so naturally, he volunteers to fight them all, going as far as to punch your textbook going 'yah, leave my baby alone only I can bother them!' he is also constantly and I mean constantly packing you little bento boxes and lunch packages so you have no excuse for not eating. leaves notes in them too with weird but cute messages and little cat drawings!! he can't have you wanting for anything, ever. but! if he's around while you're neck-deep in notes and coursework, you can bet he'll nag you every so often into getting up to stretch and get something in your stomach. stressed? wanting to throttle your prof or classmate into the next dimension? frustrated that things just aren't making enough sense? he'll chew out whatever the issue is and bitch about it in the most ridiculous ways; all he wants is for his baby to smile, even for a second.

𝚌 𝚑 𝚊 𝚗 𝚐 𝚋 𝚒 𝚗 . again, a sweetheart. but... dare I say annoying? he means really well but almost all he does is distract you. he hates seeing how stressed and frustrated and exhausted you are, so his brain comes up with the best solution it can find: taking you away from what's causing the misery. simple, right? well, no natter how many times you tell him you love him and appreciate what he's trying to do, he's not quite changing his approach. he comes by a little less often, but always shows up with a drink in hand or some food and a video to distract you for at least 5 minutes bc 'it's important y/n! you need to see this!' but it's just a workout fail compilation or smth. you're finally able to come to a compromise after he pokes your shoulder for the second time in the hour (without counting the dozen others before) and you're about to bite his head off because you finally were on a roll. in the end, you beg him to go to the gym for a couple of hours and take his time coming back, and after that you'll be all his. 'takeout and movie night?' he suggests, finally all 🥺 bc he considers this a win. how can you say no?

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ

hey! thank you so so much for reading!! please like and reblog to help support 💕 AND I'm sure you noticed I didn't include hyunjin in the hyung line and that's because he's so close in age to the rest of the 00s, so let me know if you want that changed going forward :)

[theunderneath]

Hi 👋 so this is my first time asking and I was wondering if you could do a platonic yandere asl brothers with a young reader (14-13) that isn't very open with others because of family problems, but they still show they care through small cute gestures? 🤔 Ofc you don't have to if you don't want to but if you do, I'd like it in headcanon format. Thanks!

Thanks for asking! I love all of the ASL guys, all dumb guys being dorks.

Portgas D. Ace

“(Name)! Wanna grab something to eat!”

Ace would ignore how you're so distant. Since he can understand how it feels to be hurt and distance yourself from others. So he is very understanding and not too pushy. Still, he can't help the creeping anxiety in the pit of his stomach.

Ace feels like you hate him, but that’s just his dumb mind and he knows that. Every time you look at him without saying hello or keeping things from him, he feels like he's being pushed away. Which you kinda are but not because of him. Still, he can't help what his brain is telling him.

Those thoughts kinda disappear once you start doing little things for him. If you gave him something. He'll stare down at it like he'd holding a weak child in his arms. Ace stares down at whatever you gave him, whether it be a cool rock or a dead bug with the utmost honor.

If you do something more physically for him. Like getting him food, remembering to bring something he forgot from the house, or even making sure he's drinking enough water. Ace will look at you like a dumbfounded child. Like why are you being nice to him all of a sudden? He'll soften up soon, no worries.

Ace while being a little hard-headed will try and return these small favors. It isn't much but he'll share food, his bed, and even clothes if you want. He can't remember to do the little things because he has shit memory, but he'll try.

Sabo

“Come on (Name), talk to me.”

Sabo is very bothered by your apparent distantness. He wants you to rely on him so he can manipulate you better, but in his attempts, he just pushes you away more. He so badly wants to be there for you, he can't help but intrude. He is still very loving but just comes out like a helicopter parent.

When you do small things for Sabo. He is sadly so blind in getting you to like him, that he can't notice them. Sabo might wonder why there are candies in his pocket or why his shoes are shinier than usual, but that's it. There is a small chance he will notice after a long time.

Once Sabo does notice all the little things you do, he'll back off. He comes quickly to the understanding that you show your affection in different ways than his brothers. He'll accept this but he definitely wants you to talk to him more.

Overall he seems a bit pushy at first and takes a lot of time to catch up (even though he sees himself as the smartest of the group) before softening his nagging. Sadly he still is like a helicopter parent in different ways. Always wanting to know where you are or what you are doing. If you're not gonna tell him, he's gonna ask.

Monkey D. Luffy

“(NAME)!!!! COME AND EAT!” 

Luffy couldn't care less about you being distant. You're still his little sister that he adores. So he's probably the one you'd feel most comfortable with since he doesn't push you to do anything. Like Sabo is a helicopter parent and Ace makes awkward conversations you feel kinda force to continue.

Luffy loves you so he doesn't care to make conversation. He'd just drag you around doing all the things he loves. He'd eat with you, play with you, run around with you. All stuff that doesn't need too much talking.

I think Luffy, as the people person he is, knows you mean no harm when you are so closed off. He can tell that you just feel like not talking, so he won't talk either. He is the one who will pull you out of your shell, making you feel comfortable and pleasant with him.

When you do your small gestures, he won't notice at first. A little too in his dumb little monkey brain while doing things with you. Over time he will start to notice, especially if it has to do with food. Sadly he is afraid if he tells you he's been noticing, you'll stop doing it. So he holds off on that while doing things for you. His things arent as small, mostly protecting you. He shows his thanks like that.

[romeoandjulietyouwish]

keyleth having moderately bad insomnia, most times it's from anxiety other times she just really can't sleep, sometimes she'll go down to Percy's workshop since he's usually awake, but nights where he isn't she'll sit at the window and just kinda zone out, she let's Vax sleep ofc no matter how much she would like the company of him being awake with her, once he started to notice he became more aware when she would climb out of bed, he started moving to go sit with her, sitting right behind her with his chin on her shoulder sleepily, she'll never be able to put into words how much she appreciates him just being there.

awww <3

And I think at first Vax feels really guilty because maybe he's not being there for her enough and she feels like she can't tell him things. But she tells him that it's just because she knows he doesn't sleep well either and that she feels bad about waking him up. After he assures her that she can wake him up whenever, she still doesn't. And he starts sleeping lighter and lighter until he can tell the second she wakes up and he just sits with her and holds her. And she starts falling asleep against him and he carries her back to bed.

Neither of them would say anything about it, but Percy asks about it one day, whether her insomnia had stopped. And she shyly tells him that it's still bad, but Vax is helping and most nights she can get back to sleep. And he tells her that he is so happy for her, but he does miss her company.

[hopeintheashes]

Things I Wrote This Year

It's Dec. 31, 2021. Here's what I wrote this year.

(All 9-1-1. Pretty much all Buddie and/or Buckley-Diaz Family Feels. Hurt/comfort, sickfic, angst, and a little bit of fluff here and there!)

Home series - My beloved. 50k of, as the tagline says, Eddie, Buck, and Christopher figuring out how to be a family. (Shameless hurt/comfort, all of it.) Continued in the Cabin Fic series, which just got underway. More to come.

First Best - If you had asked me whether I could write a 25k fic in three months, I would have said no. I would have been wrong. Basically: Buck and Eddie figuring out that they don't have to live without each other, or by anyone else's rules. With Buck and Taylor as friends with benefits, where the benefits are platonic cuddling and a little bit of tough love. Demi!Eddie, sickfic, Taylor/OFC, Buckley-Diaz family feels... yeah. I'm pretty proud of how this one came out.

Gravity - Because crying from fever is one of my favorite tropes. Buck's sick, but he's not alone.

not like it hurts much anyway - Because some things are unresolved. In which Buck realizes (has always known) that pain can be currency when you're trying to buy attention. He knows he shouldn't, but he can't not. Some habits are hard to break.

Bad Things Happen Bingo - filled under Come On, Sweet Catastrophe. Lots of little fics & prompt fills, and a couple of longer ones I want to highlight:

Waves - "Worked Themselves to Exhaustion" square. Post-4x14 (Survivors). Buck's trying to convince himself and everyone else that he's fine, even as the world tilts on its edge.

Drag the Lake and Bring Me Home Again - "Bundled in Blankets" square. Inspired by a post about how we should use the trope "Let's get you out of those wet clothes" more, with some enabling from some friends. :-) Part of the Cabin Fic series as well.

The Sharp End of the Knife - "Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms" square. Anxiety leads to disordered eating, and what Buck thought was under control suddenly isn't, anymore.

a little unsteady - "Soup for the Sick" square. Post-5x10. Buck is convinced that everyone who cares about him has left. Hen and Bobby are there to prove him wrong. (This one got angstier than intended. But there's still soup!)

Episode Tags - a type of fic I don't usually write, but seasons 4 and 5 had several episodes that just grabbed me and wouldn't let go.

with every small disaster - Post-4x05 (Buck Begins). Because somebody needs to tell Buck that it's okay not to be okay, and that somebody is Eddie, with some help from Christopher.

the static's where you'll find me - Set (and written) post-5x01, Panic. Buck goes home with Eddie after shift. No one is okay, no matter how much they're pretending to be.

let go - It comes out of nowhere. It comes out of everywhere. Buck and Chim, during and after that scene in Home and Away (5x04).

From Here to Mars - The distance between them feels empty and cold. Episode tag for 5x06, "Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1," because I would like that distance to be just a little bit less.

And then some collections of smaller things: soft seasonal ficlets, Follower Milestone Prompt Fills, other prompt fill ficlets.

Thank you to everyone who has read my fics this year; I would not be doing this without you! <3

p.s. If anyone wants to reblog this post to help new readers find these fics, that would be lovely!!