#But not a lot of people know about this and for some Catholic couples struggling with infertility it can be tempting to resort to ivf

[eternal-echoes]

Naprotechnology — For any couple trying to conceive, there is a way to help with that without resorting to IVF and other ways that goes against the teachings of the Catholic Church.

[ladyaes]

I need the Diaz family accepting Buck as Eddie’s boyfriend before Eddie even admits to himself that he wants Buck as his boyfriend.

I can’t get this Buddie fanfic idea out of my head, but since I know I’m never actually gonna write it, I figured I’d just share it here. Basically, it’d be the entire Diaz family going through this big, dramatic internal struggle to accept Eddie dating a guy (Buck) and blessing their relationship—all while Eddie and Buck have no idea any of this is happening. The plot could play out during Christopher’s birthday. In my idea, Eddie goes to El Paso for Chris’s birthday and brings Buck along. Because of the way they act around each other—and the fact that Eddie’s family probably has their suspicions about him not being straight (let’s be real, Latin families are very close and have a radar for this stuff)—the Diaz family assumes they’re a couple. And from there, the whole internal and external struggle begins within the family, with Eddie and Buck completely clueless.

First off, I wanna say I’m Latina, and 100% of this idea comes from my own life experiences within my culture. Obviously, Latin culture isn’t just one thing since it covers so many countries and subcultures, but there are some things that are basically universal.

Why do I think Eddie’s family would accept Buck? Because the only other person he introduced to the family was this white American woman they obviously couldn’t stand, and, ironically, Buck checks all the boxes of the “perfect wife” in the eyes of Latin moms, grandmas, and aunts and the “perfect husband” in the eyes of Latin dads, grandpas, and uncles.

Unfortunately, in our cultural context, traditional gender roles are still really strong for older generations, and even those who are more progressive tend to put these roles onto same-sex couples because they can’t quite picture a relationship without a “man” and a “woman” role.

So, I imagine Eddie’s whole family would evaluate Buck the same way they’d evaluate a girlfriend or boyfriend.

Important qualities for a good first impression as a Latina girlfriend:

Helpful: when the family gets together, it usually involves a ton of food, and that’s the women’s responsibility (I know, I know °_°). If a girl is introduced to the family and doesn’t help in the kitchen, she’s automatically seen as lazy, and if she tries to help but can’t do the basics, she’s seen as useless.

And we know Buck can cook pretty well.

Loud and talkative: I know that for Americans, people who are loud and super expressive might come off as rude, but for us, it’s normal. So if you’ve just been introduced to the family and stay too quiet, it might make a bit of a bad impression.

Buck’s expressive enough to fit right into a Latin household.

He’s involved, kind, takes amazing care of Chris, is superstitious, smart, and attractive. All he’s missing is being Catholic and female to be the dream daughter-in-law for every Latin mom.

And from the men’s perspective, he’s perfect too.

He’s got a stable, good-paying job, he’s strong, knows about repairs and construction, and he’s got that friendly, open vibe that makes it easy to bond. Plus, he’s a firefighter with loads of heroic stories. That alone would put him on a pedestal as the dream son-in-law.

I can just picture Buck spending hours setting up tents and tables, chatting with the men about firefighter stories, and then spending hours with the women, helping in the kitchen, talking to them, and listening to their stories.

By the end of the visit, after lots of private discussions, the Diaz family would welcome Buck into the family, and he wouldn’t even realize it. Since there’s still that ingrained prejudice, it’d be more like a blessing in disguise. Buck would get home exhausted, happy, and with a recipe to cleanse bad energy from his apartment (coarse salt).

When they finally do get together, it takes Eddie months to work up the courage to tell his family. But when he finally does, they’re so confused (since they thought the two had already been together for at least a year) that they end up thinking the news Eddie’s so nervous to share is actually that he proposed to Buck.

[livelaughlesbian00]

"Butch Awakening" BTVS Dream Storytime ft. Spike

I knew I liked women as a teen, but realizing I didn't like men came in college and hit me like a truck. Realizing I'm lesbian was a tougher pill to swallow than believing I was bi. But that's a long story that maybe I could tell later...

However my butch awakening experience from a couple years ago is more fun and easier to tell.

And it involves this sassy fucker. Shoutout Spike ✌️

As a kid in elementary private school, I had an attempt at a tomboy phase. Reflecting back, part of it stemmed from a "pick me" internalized misogyny mindset, but the other part of me felt comfortable and confident when I wore those 2000s DC skate shoes, hi tops, had shorter hair, etc.

I wanted to wear the private school uniform pants but as many butches can probably relate, I had an ass, growing hips, and calves and these were uniform pants designed in 2008-2013. So I settled for baggy jumper dress, baggy shirt, baggy sweatshirt, tights, biker shorts over them, and converse. I could tell something was different but I didn't exactly know why yet.

I tried befriending boys and wanted the bond I saw the non popular boys have with each other as opposed to what I saw in my class's popular Catholic sporty girl crowd. (In middle school I was obsessed with "The Outsiders". Curious if any other butches were). I didn't fit in with the girls in many ways, including my geekiness. I soon learned that I did not fuck with everything my boy classmates said or did. Seemed like I was a weird in between that didn't exist.

That tomboy phase did not last long as a ballerina & theater kid who loved dancing and musical theater. I was pretty good too. I slipped back into femininity before experiencing some gender envy towards pretty men in late high school. As it turns out, femininity (and "liking" men) was just another performance for me, but I loved performing which caused that years-long confusion! So I was "on stage" constantly.

Then came a day in college where I suddenly realized I really wasn't attracted to men, could do without them romantically and sexually for the rest of my life so I should probably dump my boyfriend, and really just wanted women (and as I've grown to accept, people with similar gender experiences as me). Yay lesbian! But I wasn't a butch yet. Butch L was still in hiding.

I started thinking back with a new clarifying lens at so many memories in my childhood. I questioned the "crushes" I had on men in a whole new light.

Then Spike materialized in a dream with priceless awakening insight

I had started watching Buffy for the first time a year or two prior to realizing I was lesbian but put a pause on it. I came back to watching it shortly after my lesbian awakening, which at the time, felt more like an identity crisis. I had a lot of unpacking and reframing to do that I couldn't avoid now. I had previously wondered if I had a crush on Spike because I struggled defining the feelings I had about his look, demeanor, and how female fans swooned over him. That would get cleared up real quick though.

One night I dreamt I was a part of the Scooby gang. We all met at the library in the high school as we prepared to take on the "big bad" of the episode. Buffy, Faith, Willow, and Cordelia stood by me as we looked up at Giles and Spike talking on the stairs.

I looked at Spike with admiration as he shared something important with everyone, but my focus quickly drifted over to the other women standing next to me. Dream me was so jealous of how they looked at him. He held their attention in a way I didn't. I thought about how Drusilla and Buffy wanted him in a way they wouldn't want me.

I eyed his style up and down and grew jealous of how cool it was. So dream me did exactly what anyone would do. As he spoke, I started replacing my clothes with a style closer to his á la 2000s Barbie dress up video game.

Woke up with the realization that I just had really bad lesbian gender envy (and women attention envy) for Spike. I decided that since I was so jealous of his style I could just take parts of it to make it my own. So I did and still sort of do.

Old fit check of stolen Spike look below~

Thanks Spike for appearing in a dream years ago to confirm the fact that the "crushes" I had on men were purely gender envy 🫡

That gender envy realization led me down a path for navigating lesbian masculinity and butch values that I hold now!

[ceilidho]

Do you have any advice on doing a character study for a character before writing them? Stuff like how they’d act/respond 👁👄👁

haha it's quite tricky, I won't lie! it's definitely one of the things I struggle with the most (writing really well-rounded and defined characters). Here are a couple things that I do, but keep in mind that I'm reeaaalllyyyy not an expert on this. I'm still learning so much about characterization every day.

If you're writing fanfiction, watch or read the source material as much as possible, until you can almost hear the way the character sounds in your head. Take time to understand things like their accent and how they speak (do they talk a lot or very little? do they use slang or enunciate everything? do they speak quickly or slowly?). Here, you just want to concentrate on the cadence of their speech / their speech patterns. If they speak plainly or use lots of proverbs or turns of phrases, that sort of thing. If you have that down, you've honestly done half the work. Even I often reread my work and go "fuck, all of these people SOUND the same even though they're saying different things".

This is harder if you're not writing fanfiction and have to create your own universe, but regardless of whether you're writing for an existing IP or your own 'verse, I think understanding your character's cultural and religious background is so crucial to developing them. It's a big part of the lens through which they see the world, whether consciously (if they're a very religious character for example, or raised in a specific country) or subconsciously (for example, I grew up catholic so I relate to the world through that lens, even though I'm not a religious person - it just heavily informed me in my childhood years). For this Bear story, I had to do a bit of research around Baptist theology because I knew Bear would be a religious character (whether or not he's struggling with that religion) and it would heavily inform how he sees the world around him. I listened to some sermons, talked to someone with a Baptist background, and also thought about how that background with tie into his desire to have a family).

Pick like 3-5 words that you think best describe your character and just write them down somewhere. I've never been very successful when I make huge character sheets for my characters or try to write a super detailed background for them, so I try to give myself a bit of grace and be brief about it. You can always expand on it going forward. Like for someone like Bear, I might pick: family-oriented, religious (Christian), gruff, and scrupulous. You can also do this in the reverse way and try to think of what they're not (same example with Bear, I might go: conniving, hedonistic, flighty, and optimistic LMAO). This is a nice way to put like, boundaries around your character.

In the framework of your story, try to pick a trajectory for your character, or a goal. At least have one, but you could have a couple. If they're directionless, that works too! But they should want something or aspire to be something. This counts even if they think that thing they want is beyond them or unattainable - it's still a want/goal pushing them forward. This can also be an unconscious goal by the way -> like a very hedonistic character that likes to party who's slowly getting worn down from that life and doesn't even realize they want to settle down, or vice versa! Someone who feels trapped in their mundane life but thinks that's what's expected of them. The character doesn't have to know they want this goal.

Fatal flaws. This is a big one. What is something that might get in the way of them achieving their goal or might influence how they get it? Easiest way to think of this is just looking at the 7 deadly sins (soooo corny, but it's a good place to start). Characters are never perfect, so give them a reason to struggle.

And honestly lastly? Trial and error, baby. Take your vaguely defined character and figure out what you want them to achieve (whether or not they get it is beside the point), and then work out how they might go about achieving that. If they'd run full throttle towards it because they think they deserve it or whether they'd fight it every step of the way because they either don't think they want it or don't think they deserve it.

I'm sorry if this is very messy!! It also totally depends on you as a writer. When I try to make "character background sheets", it gives me anxiety and I end up not following through with my writing versus when I try to keep it brief and just dive into the writing and slowly change things and edit as I write. But maybe a sheet works best for you!

[onlyancunin]

Therapy is so frustratingly expensive.

I have a few thoughts at the end of the year/beginning of another. Not necessarily about what happened per se, more about the general way of going about things.

I'm so lucky to have/had people in my life who were generous enough to support me financially. I think about it a lot. About the guilt that comes with not having money to support yourself properly, and manage your mental health properly. Which in my case means having a therapist, psychiatrist & meds. All for which I pay. I could go for the public health care, but I find the system severely unfit for mental health. I tried a couple years ago and literally made things worse fir myself. All the inevitable flaws of this system are hitting hard the mental health patients and honestly I can't be dealing with emotional stress while trying to get help for my mental health. One of the things about therapy is you need to trust and follow your therapists guidance, constantly wondering "is this how it's supposed to be" goes against the process. I on the other hand got paired with therapist who was Catholic, homophobic and who straight out didn't like me I felt like. I could change her, yes, but at the time I simply thought there was something wrong with *me* to even think that. After all I'm the one *fucked up* wasn't I?

All this to say I need to remind myself I do what I can and that it's enough. And that world is kind to me now. Hopefully it will stay that way. I take breaks in therapy when finances are worse and pick it up when I can afford it again. Which isn't ideal, but depleting my finances over therapy is an even worse idea. And I care about the ability to actually pick a doctor and have the flexibility that comes with paid therapist. I find my psyche too fragile when open to work to be taking chances again.

I wanted to put this down - for myself and others possibly struggling with the financial aspect of life, especially coming from an abusive, poor family. It's hard to work when you can't make yourself wake up from bed, when your emotional control is just not there and you feel torn apart in all the directions.

It's exhausting, pricey, and seems to keep me in the loop of living a better life everyday, but still being unable to buy Christmas gifts I'd like to for example.

My current therapist tells me to prioritize myself and introduce "plan minimum" for other areas of life if needed. And December is a especially difficult month for me. Starting tomorrow I'll have to wake up early and pick up the "slack", catch up on the work I was sometimes too paralyzed by trauma and depression to work. I pulled it off with whatever I could do and some work management, trying to reasonably pick my challenges and stay kind to myself whenever I failed. And I failed a lot.

I feel emotionally exhausted to the point of tears. But at the same time I feel fueled by the rage I have for my parents who "did this to me". And hopeful, because each December it gets just a little bit better. So things are working.

Thank you for reading. I hope somebody found something in my little rambles, reassurance, if nothing else. I know my position might be difficult to relate to, as I know people in US "have it worse" as the saying goes. I can't solve this for them, no matter where how much I want to. Somebody else's experience doesn't invalidated my own, just as my experience doesn't invalidate someone in "better" position.

Happy new year everyone. And lots of strength, whatever it is you're fighting with.

[gothicprep]

i have a little bit of time off, and i want to use it to catch up on award season movies. the problem is, of course, that the golden globes is sort of a fake award show. the people who vote on these awards aren’t part of a guild or anything. they’re just guys and dudes. the other problem is that a lot of the nominations don’t hit wide release until well after the awards air.

this is an aside but I love how they have a “cinematic box office achievement” category that’s just shit like alien: romulous, beetlejuice beetlejuice, deadpool & wolverine, gladiator 2, inside out 2, the wild robot, twisters, and wicked pt 1. it’s like saying “we will give a movie you actually watched some laurels so you can tolerate three hours of us giving awards to anora and the brutalist.”

a couple of thoughts outside of that:

I’m happy that the substance has gotten as many nominations as it has. the main issue I had with it when I first saw it was that it was just… so french while ostensibly being commentary on hollywood usa. I’m not going to spoil anything, but near the end of the movie, there’s a nye party that includes a topless kickline. this is DISTRACTINGLY FRENCH. we’re too prudish for that over here! but, the more I thought about it, the more I liked it. I love how deliberate the camera work is in it. it deserves a best cinematography or best director oscar nom for this. it isn’t coralie fargeat’s fault that she’s french and this carries into her work. she has a very clear vision and is able to execute it well.

I don’t love conclave getting a best drama nomination. there are very few movies that I watch and think to myself, “this would have worked better as a miniseries”. this was one of them. I don’t know how to talk about this one without spoiling the ending, but the last 15 minutes of it are so cheesy. it’s a slab of brie for dinner. i saw some people compare a speech at the end to aaron sorkin’s writing, but i walked out being a bit offended on sorkin’s behalf.

my wife (theology nut) saw this with my friends and me, and she went off on how disinterested it was in its catholic universe. it hints at a divide between cardinals in the global north and global south, but it doesn’t do much with this. it doesn’t address doctrinal beef at all. and the ending really skates over what the implications would be for the Catholic Church. someone in the theater we all saw this in loudly said “WHAT?” during the last scene. adrienne suggested that it was a bizarrely nested Trump thing because of how negligent it was in this aspect. a relatively progressive pope dies, and there’s a power struggle involved. liberal cardinals are going against an italian who longs for a pope who speaks latin, makes an event of being racist towards the african cardinal, and rails against muslims during the subplot of this movie where bombs are going off outside the church. this is a real thing in the movie that is never explained. i sort of see what she’s getting at. trump has been an inescapable anti-muse in art and it’s really difficult to not interpret this stuff through that lens. the more I thought about this one, the more of a mess i thought it was.

anyway, those are some golden globes hot takes. I don’t know what else to do with my time right now.

[irrealisms]

this might not be the type of question you’re looking for, but my understand is you’re a convert or at least someone who has become more devout over time. I was wondering if you were willing to talk about your faith journey? Obviously I know it’s a personal thing so I’m not looking for any prying details, just whatever you feel most comfortable with talking about!

this is a good question! prying questions are actively encouraged lol

i'm a convert! i was baptized on easter 2022, here are a couple pictures from that:

this was ... about two or three years after i started getting serious about Catholicism? uhhhh actually i should back up some more

i grew up nominally methodist but in practice my mom didn't believe in God and treated it as a convenient place for me to make friends and participate in a kids' choir and such and i picked up on this (and stopped going at some point, i don't even really know when, i think sometime in middle school). i also had my own elaborate mostly-animist theology that treated Christianity as blatantly laughable. in retrospect a lot of the theology was bc i heard voices a lot as a kid lol, both "this is what they tell me is true" and "i need a worldview that accommodates the experiences i am having". i feel a little weirder abt talking abt me-as-a-kid having delusional tendencies bc it was i think within the range of "imaginative autistic kid"? but i ... never grew out of it, and a lot of them are recognizably the same tendencies that got me labeled as delusional as a teenager-adult, so. shrug. i grew up with a familiarity with Christianity but not specifically Catholicism and it was never serious.

in high school i had, mmm... very varying theologies most of which were pretty shallow and focused on whichever girl i was currently in love with lol. but i was still drawn to Catholicism--i first observed lent in 2017 after Many years of flirting with it--and when i saw/experienced angels (2015? ish? ...arguably you could argue for 2007 but i do not think those were angels) i knew they were angels and was unsure how i saw it but definitely flirting with a Christian view of them. i did know that whatever view of them i took, they were important, they were serious, they were--the most important thing that has ever happened to me, that i have ever witnessed. they were beautiful and incredible and terrific in the sense of inspiring terror. and then i got put on antipsychotics about it within the year lol! the antipsychotics were uhhhhhh quite bad for me & then in 2019 i got off of them and embraced Catholicism more wholeheartedly. "so why the 3-year gap between that and getting baptized" uhhhh a few things going on there honestly? it took like a year or so to like. reconcile myself with Catholicism. i do/did actually struggle a lot with a lot of it--trying to figure out how i felt about hell and the problem of evil was ofc the biggest hurdle but i'm also side b and that was uhhhhhh not a painless process for me. which i can talk about any of that if you want but i talk about that less unprompted? and i prefer to talk about it in a conversation rather than just On My Blog, if that makes sense. but people should feel free to dm me if they're curious or want to talk more about any of this!

this....still gives a 1-year gap between Reconciling With Catholicism and Starting RCIA. this is because... i've been kind of eliding it with usage of "i" but at the time the body that currently uses "i" was Two People. and one of them (kit) was Catholic and one of them (sofia) wasn't. we ... talked about this with a priest a lot and he was helpful for a while but then he recommended me to a Catholic therapist who on her first session with us informed us that we were faking and she didn't believe us but even if she did then she'd just be focusing on trying to integrate us and get rid of our "doubting part". so we didnt go back to her and we (especially sofia) raged for a bit at the whole thing. as a result, for a while kit was kind of resigned to just ... not getting baptized, not getting to take the Eucharist. but in 2020-2021ish we sort of . integrated? not fully and i suspect we've been...splitting apart again more recently. idk! idk. anyway we eventually got integrated enough that we felt confident in saying yes, I believe in God, and have that be a true promise for the full body-soul. and we started RCIA in 2021 and got baptized in 2022 and now we're here! the angels aren't back. i hoped they'd come back when i got off antipsychotics, and-- they haven't. the belief has, the knowledge that they were real, but i haven't seen them again. i don't know if i'll get to see them again before i die. i hope they will, but i also know i don't need them anymore. it's a test, i think. i just have to live up to that test.

[maxiemcsoda]

Hand over some Teruya/Kinji headcanons‼️

hihi! sorry for takin so long on this!! i was doing splatoons grand festival all weekend!!

but yes i can give u some of my thoughts on these guys >:)

adding a read more bc it got a little long whoopsie

ok so first off! my sexuality + gender hcs for them;

- kinji is transmasc and nonbinary (they/he) and he's gay (mlm, nblm, nblnb), his identity causes him some distress due to his role in the church and his father being generally unaccepting of queer identities (he also hides his true identity when at home, hopes peak is the first time hes publicly himself)

- teruya is agender (he/him) and gay as well, he does not struggle with his identity, but he did take a while to realize he only liked boys/non-women. he rly thought his dad wanted him to marry a woman, but it turns out his dad is very pan and doesnt care who he dates as long as hes happy :)

ive got a couple different scenarios that i have different scenarios based on what happens in them and ill just list some stuff from all of em

firstly the general stuff that happens no matter what !

- teruya is initially appealing to kinji simply because he's loud but not in your face about it (usually), kinji also really respects that teruya stands very firm on his beliefs

- teruya also has a really good memory, so he remembers gifts and things that kinji likes, he just gives him stuff he likes every now and then, and kinji finds it really sweet

- teruya also makes silly accessories for kinji, theyre all tacky and rainbow themed but he doesnt mind :)

- they both really enjoy healthy food so they end up bonding over that

- kinji eventually gets adopted into teruyas friend group (haru, satsuki, kiyoka), they got along in the gambling extra event (minus kiyoka), so i think theyd be friends!

- kinji ends up close with kiyoka who can see right through him, she KNOWS he likes teruya, but she wont pressure him (too much)

- also teruya just thinks that kinji is so pretty :)

next up is the stuff i have for the ch 3 survivor au (i will get/have gotten to a lot of this in art, so ill probably have less here)

- teruya is initially stuck with kinji because he is the only one who has medical knowledge (they say this ingame), and due to this he ends up being the closest with kinji

- despite teruyas lil breakdown in ch 4, kinji still ends up defending him in the trial due to having gone through something similar previously, and this is kinda when it clicks for real that teruya might like kinji more than he thought

- they both bond over how much they value family, teruya with his dad and kinji with the church kids being the most valued people in their lives. they both respect this about each other immensely over it

- teruya and kinji grow closer after being kind of outcasted in ch 5. teruya had recently lost his two friends, and tsurugi, rei, akane, yuki, and mikako are either standoffish, not willing to get close, or out of commission for one reason or another. they get much closer in this chapter

- they dont actually become a thing until after they escape

now i have stuff that happened if there was no killing game

- without the killing game, they would just be more of acquaintances longer, since the game isnt there to push them to interact

- eventually kinji is the first to realize he does like teruya, and this causes Internal Religious Conflict for him. being a catholic priest means that you cannot love anyone above anyone else your love must be equal. along with this, if kinji chooses to stop being a priest while in high school, he will no longer be able to attend hope's peak, as he would basically be giving up his title.

- kinji suffers from religious trauma, despite the fact that he finds comfort in his religion. this is because most of the guilt weighing on him is caused by his father, so they are rather estranged.

- this trauma isnt something thats fixed relatively easily, but to keep it short, teruya does eventually try to help him become his own person and cope with the trauma. teruya's free spirit really helps this.

- after graduation, kinji would likely prefer to be a pastor over a priest so he can have more freedom with romance.

- he also ends up working at otori mart with teruya, and they have a lil garden together at their home :)

one more extra thing! topic of marriage and kids!

- in any au where kinji lives, so like all of the above, teruya is intending to ask kinji to marry him, its just whether or not the killing games happening defines if he gets to or not

- when they do marry, kinji takes teruya's last name

- in a very specific branch of the kinji survivor au, which i call foundation baby au (this au hinges on mikado never starting the sdra2 killing game), kinji and teruya have a child (through a surrogate mother, setsuka!) named Takara!

- teruya wants to be a good dad like his father, and kinji already likes to take care of children, so its only natural that theyd want one of their own

- Takara calls teruya "papa" and kinji "daddy"

- they raise takara in a way where they can choose their identity and whether or not they believe in religion. takara has found out that they identify as nonbinary and gay (like fathers like child) and that they do want to take part in kinji's religion, they just dont do it as much

- takara interacts with everyone at the kisaragi foundation in some way, theyre like their big mostly-happy family!

- kinji and teruya are very good parents!!

[obsessed-small-penguin]

Leosagi/Leochi in Musicals

I have noticed that some people are putting the Epic Musical associated with ROTTMNT (Mostly revolving around Leo). I just have to say, I haven’t listened to the Epic Musical, but my God why hasn’t anyone done Leosagi in other musicals 😭. I haven’t watched many musicals, but here are some suggestions (that no one will use 💀).

Musicals That Can Fit Leosagi/Leochi

Hamilton - Historical Musical about Founding Father Alexander Hamilton

I’ve seen people using this in other fandoms. For this one it’s mostly Casey and Future Leo. But to include Usagi:

“Helpless“ - The roles technically don’t matter, but Leo could be Eliza (because he has a lot of siblings and also is blue) and Usagi could be Alexander. Usagi’s friends could be Laf, Muligan, or Laurens. Very wholesome song! It could also be reversed with Leo as Alexander. His brothers would be Laf (Donnie), Mulligan (Mikey/Raph), Laurens (Mikey/Someone Else), or Aaron (Raph/Donnie) if this was the case.

“Satisfied” - For some Angst, Leo or Usagi wouldn’t be Eliza 💀 (or if people ship Donsagi, idk the name, then this is a perfect song LOL)! Usagi could be Angelica and Leo Alexander or vise versa. (Context: Angelica and Eliza are siblings, Angelica is the oldest and likes Hamilton. However, she sees her sister Eliza likes Alex as well, so Angelica sets Eliza and Alex up and the two are getting married. Basically, a love triangle)

“Congratulations“ or “First Burn” / “Burn” - This is just to cause more Angst and rub salt over the wound to match with “Satisfied”. “Burn” is basically Eliza and Alexander breaking up because of “Say No To This” when Alex has an affair.

“Dear Theodosia“ - Can be used for the headcanon of Jotaro as Leosagi’s kid & Aaron Burr as Cassandra which would make Theodosia as Casey Jr. 

“Blow Us All Away” and “Stay Alive (Reprise)” - Used as the above. Jotaro can be Phillip (Alex and Eliza’s son). Or maybe replace the son as Casey Jr. Either way, could be a fun idea.

In The Heights - Hispanic musical with people who have a dream and struggling with identity/poverty. (Idk how to describe it).

This musical can be use for those fans who like to headcanon the Hamato children knowing Spanish. There are 2 couples in this play (Benny and Nina | Vanessa and Usnavi) that could fit Leosagi and there is a musical and a movie (I prefer movie audio since it sounds newer than the musical since that’s kinda old).

“The Club“ - Just for funsies. Leo/Usagi getting jealous that the other is gaining a lot of attention on the dance floor with other men (Imma assume Leo aka Vanessa is on the dance floor).

“Blackout” - Follows right after the previous song. Only part that would fit here is an audio most might have heard. The whole “You barely even danced with me” and then “Don’t make me laugh, I’ve been trying all night, you’ve been shaking your ass with half of the Heights”.

“When You’re Home“ - Could be wholesome with using Usagi as Benny (since there’s no confirm race) and Leo as Nina (Afro-Latino and half Japanese moment? Black Hispanic and half Japanese?).

“Sunrise“ - This is only in the musical version, but it’s so cute!! Takes place after “Blackout” where Nina and Benny found each other and stayed with each other. Nina teaches Benny some Spanish. “Well how do you say kiss me?” “Besume” “and how do you say hold me?” All of that. And also a moment where Benny is scared that Nina’s dad is going to know that Nina is with him (Nina’s dad disproves of Benny). Obviously, Leo is Nina and Benny is Usagi.

Bare: A Pop Opera - (TW: Self-harm also Drugs) Gay musical with two boys struggling in a Catholic Boarding School. They are secretly dating, but one wants the come out and the other doesn’t because of his strict father (also he has a twin).

I really recommend this musical, it might be slow but it can get you in your feels. Btw, it’s a sad musical (Trigger warning). Honestly, any songs can fit because it’s literally a gay story. Also a theater Romeo and Juliet play they are doing. A play within a musical.

“You And I“ - Listening to the lyrics ummm, Leo fits almost TOO WELL with being Jason 😂 Jason is the one with a twin named Nadia (who believes she is fat and she harms herself). Their dad is rich and Jason is the favorite sibling. Anyways, Jason is Leo and Peter is Usagi. This song is an introduction to how they are together (always being in secret and having to pull away when people are around).

“Plain Jane Fat Ass“ - Twin moment with Jason (Leo) and Nadia (Donnie). Angst or Hurt/Comfort with the two.

“Best Kept Secret“ - Self explanatory

“Ever After” - THIS SONG OMG. So Leo and Usagi are having a heated argument and it’s tense and pretty sad.

“Wedding Bells“ - Angst. Usagi imagines Leo with another person.

“See Me“ - This is gonna have to change, so Peter is trying to come out to his mother, but she is clearly trying to ignore it. So This could be Leo being Peter and Splinter being the mom.

“God Don’t Make No Trash“ - Sister Chantelle (I didn’t spell that right. Anyways this is definitely Mikey aka Dr. Feels) and Peter talking about sexuality (kinda).

I don’t know who can be considered as “Father”. Maybe Draxum or Big Mama.

“Bare“ - Hurt, no comfort between Peter and Jason.

Be More Chill - Awkward teens who are trying to be cool so they take a pill (From JAPAAAAAAN) and they are controlled kinda.

Main character, Jeremy, likes this quirky girl named Christine, so he’s trying to be cool to get with her. If you heard the audio (”I’m waiting for my porno to load”) then that’s this musical. I did see multiple Donnie animations (and a Leo) with the song “Michael In The Bathroom”. Yeah that’s this musical. Maybe Christine (Usagi), Jeremy (Leo), and Michael (Donnie).

The Idea: I included this musical mainly because the whole idea if that teenagers are trying to be cool by taking a pill that (roughly, hard to explain) has a person in their head who “helps” them be cool (in actuality, a douche or a player). With the headcanons of The Krang still in control of certain Turtles, I thought well maybe instead of inserting something like “Mind Raph”, just make the person in the head (aka a Squip) just the Krang 😂 (Same can be used for BeetleJuice The Musical)

“A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into“ - Pretty cute song from Christine (Usagi).

“Be More Chill Pt. 1″ - Basically when the Squip comes in. Like listen and imagine the Krang behind the voices trying to manipulate people 💀

“The Pitiful Children“ - Basically a ‘world domination’ song. So just Krangs.

Heathers - Basically the movie.

This potentially fits the 2003 Leosagi more, I have no idea. At least, if we make JD Miyamoto. TW: Murders, Explosives, E.D., Suicide, Drugs/Alcohols, and attempt S.A.

“Beautiful” Or “Candy Store“ - The roles (based on colors) are Chandler (Raph), Duke (Donnie), MacAmera (Didn’t spell that right, Mikey), Kurt & Ram (The Foot Dudes? Bebop & Rocksteady), Martha (Todd? LOL), JD (Usagi).

“Meant To Be Yours” - Please, I need Psychopathic Usagi or Leo, I’ll take any 😭

Heathers: The Musical (2022), another version of the musical with some altered lyrics and added songs with a bit new style of musical form. “I Will Never Shut Up Again” - Wonderful song for Duke, would like to see an animation of Donnie (I like villain songs, lol).

“Seventeen“ - Wholesome song, hurt/comfort kinda, where Usagi and Leo are singing about having a life together (and not a life of being murderers).

I would add “Dead Girl Walking” but this fandom seems to not do much NSFW stuff with this ship, so I’ll exclude that song along with “Blue” as a suggestion.

[amethystina]

Shipper Tag Game

I was tagged by @a-very-fond-farewell! Thank you so much, darling! Though I'm not sure how good I'll be at it x'D

---

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don’t care anymore?

Honestly? None. While I did have some ships I was interested in, I wasn't obsessed with any of them. And I kind of still care about them? In a very nostalgic way. So I kind of fail at both parts of this question x'D

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

If I'm going with the one I got really invested in? Destiel tbh. Mainly because I was very much a late bloomer who didn't really discover fandom and fanfics until I was 20-21. I mean, I HAD read some before that but since I didn't have internet in my apartment until I went to university (I was too poor xD), it wasn't easy for me to access them. Shipping is just easier when you have internet.

But, once I had it, I DID revisit a couple of ships that were technically older than Destiel that I had never really gotten into before that, many of them from video games, anime/manga, and books I'd read. But they were all overshadowed by Destiel so that's the one I remember as my first.

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

Are we talking reading or writing? I guess I'll do both?

Reading: I think it was a Zell Dincht/Seifer Almasy one from Final Fantasy VIII that a friend printed out on actual paper and gave to me back when I was 16 or 17 (again, no internet). And I honestly can't say why he picked that pairing xD (I'm definitely more of a Squall/Seifer girlie now)

Writing: Sterek. Because it felt interesting but also not too intimidating. And I also just like werewolves?

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

Not really, no. Since I've been drawing for so long I spent more time looking for art than fanfics when I was younger so I probably stumbled over a lot of them without even knowing it.

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

Not if I can help it, no. I tend to stay away from that sort of thing as best I can and just let people ship whatever they want. It's honestly none of my business.

6. Did you use to have any no-otp or have it currently?

I have several, mostly based on what I find triggering or squicky. But I don't announce them publically because that's just rude to those who DO ship them. And, as stated above, I try not to get involved in what other people ship or don't ship.

7. Who were the couples in the last fanfic you read?

Choi Yoon/Yoon Hwa Pyung from The Guest. Because who doesn't love some pining and Catholic guilt?

For real, though, I read very few fanfics right now and actually had to go check my history on AO3 to figure this out x'D The second to last fanfic was a Strangers From Hell one. And the one before that was a Guardian one!

8. Currently do you have any OTPs?

Several. Honestly too many to list x'D I'm one of those people who don't really let go of ships I like. They're not always at the forefront of my mind, though, but I remember them fondly and coo a little when I think of all the fond memories.

But if we're talking about the ones I'm the most focused on right now I'd say Kang Yo Han/Kim Ga On from The Devil Judge, Yoon Sa Wol/5-8 from Black Knight (currently struggling with chapter 6 x'D), the aforementioned Choi Yoon/Yoon Hwa Pyung from The Guest, and Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan from Guardian.

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

Sterek. But that has less to do with my dedication to the characters and more to do with the queerbaiting and how extremely shittily Jeff Davis handled that whole thing. To use the Sterek shippers for publicity and hint that maybe it could happen, only to turn around and do everything within his power to not make it happen?

I take that personally, not because I have a huge stake in Stiles and Derek as characters, but as a queer person who, for once, thought that maybe we would actually get to see a couple we really liked get together, and then didn't.

I had more hope for Sterek than I ever did for Destiel, which technically had more in-canon queerbaiting, because the people behind Teen Wolf did their damndest to give me hope. Only for me to be ignored and basically told I was being gullible for ever thinking it would happen.

And that's a betrayal I'm probably never going to forgive.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

Not... really? I can't think of any, at least. But that could be because I always have a pretty good reason for disliking the ships I dislike. As mentioned, it's usually based on triggers and squicks and those don't really change. So my opinion on ships I dislike aren't likely to change, either.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

I mean, considering the social climate right now? Even Sterek qualifies because Stiles was underage when I started shipping them and Derek most certainly was not xD That said, I always prefer the fics when Stiles had time to turn 18 before any of the sexy stuff happened.

12. What was your favourite crack ship?

Okay, so, I've actually read a lot of fics for ships I don't actually ship, just for research purposes. Like, I find it FASCINATING to watch what other people like, how they choose to write about the things they like, and how they decide to portray the characters. Basically, I like to analyse authors just as much as I like to analyse characters. It's a hobby of mine.

And one of my absolute favourites was reading fanfics for Newt Scamander and the original Percival Graves from the first Fantastic Beasts movie (Sidenote: She-who-must-not-be-named is an asshole and this is not an endorsement of her franchise or shitty beliefs). And why I loved that so much was because the fics were about THE ORIGINAL Percival Graves who, technically, was never IN the actual movie (he might not even be alive anymore?). Like, it was Grindelwald all the time. We never actually SAW the original Percival Graves, just Grindelwald's impersonation of him.

And I just had so much fun reading various authors' takes on this character who was never actually seen but, based on Grindelwald's impersonation, can sort of be hinted? Because he must have done a good enough job of it that the people around Graves didn't notice? It was like an anthropological dig of Percival Graves transpiring right before my eyes and since I got on the train pretty early, I could see authors being inspired by each other and how the fanon developed over time. 10/10 would recommend if you're interested in watching a fandom evolve.

(also, some of the fics were so fucking good. So there's that, too xD)

13. Who is the couple you read most fanfics of?

I'm not entirely sure if it's Destiel or Stony, but definitely one of them (Sterek is most likely in third place). Partly because there are just so many to partake in (those fandoms are HUGE), but also because they've been with me for so long and numbers accumulate. That said, I haven't read any for those ships in a long, long time. But considering how many fics I devoured during the time I was the most active in those fandoms? It's going to be difficult for any of the ones I'm currently into to catch up.

Also because I tend to be in much smaller fandoms now >_>

14. What do most of your ships usually have in common?

WELL. A while back I would have said that even if there are some enemies-to-lovers tropes and antagonising in some of them, they're all mostly unproblematic and pretty healthy.

... I can't really do that anymore, can I? x'D

I mean, Kang Yo Han is problematic all on his own, but even HE is a green flag compared to Seo Moon Jo. That fucker is just a straight-up psychopath x'D

A more serious answer: An interesting dynamic. Which sounds like a given, but is actually a bit more tricky than that. Because I've only gotten more and more picky over the years. I've actually spoken to my wife and friends about this, because I've seen a pretty noticeable shift in my own shipping practices lately.

I gather fewer and fewer new ships and that's not because I watch/read fewer things, but because I'm getting pickier about them. There has to be an extra spark that interests me, often connected to the characters' personalities and how they play off each other, while, before, a bit of chemistry was enough.

But that also makes me more versatile, I guess? Because I focus less on tropes and more on characters and dynamics. But that also makes it harder to spot similarities xD

15. What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

I mean, hate is a strong word. But, again, it would mostly be connected to my triggers. I don't like ships that are too abusive and unbalanced. A little bit of danger is fine, but things like abuse, infidelity, grooming, non-con etc. don't work for me, personally.

---

I don't really know who to tag so just do it if you want to! :D

[sequencefairy]

Hi, I hope this is okay to ask. If not, totally okay! I am recently becoming comfortable with my attraction to women and bisexuality. However, I am also in a relationship with a cis man I care about and love very much. Can I ask about your journey and becoming comfortable with your sexuality within the context of your relationship?

Big question, I love it. Thank you for asking.

So, my partner and I have been together since I was 18, which was well before I really started interrogating my sexuality and what that meant for me. I grew up Catholic, with Conservative-leaning family, especially regarding social issues, so I never really knew there were options other than being straight.

Looking back, I definitely had some very intense friendships with girlfriends in highschool that probably should have clued me in earlier, but I didn't know it was an option and I liked boys just fine, so I figured everyone had girls they wanted to sit really close to and whose hair they wanted to touch, and clearly I enjoyed kissing boys, ergo I was straight.

When my partner and I moved in together in my third year of university, that was when I started to wonder about my sexuality and what being queer meant, especially as someone who was and continues to be in love with a cisgendered dude, and is generally monogamous. I looked at my attraction to women and my attraction to my partner, and looked at our relationship, wondering if I was missing something in it, and wondering if I wanted something he couldn't give me. I worried a lot about whether it was like, the seven year itch, or a quarter life crisis brought on by swapping majors in university and narrowly avoiding a nervous breakdown. I wondered if I was just imagining things, or if I was just being influenced by being around out, proud queer people on the regular as part of being a volunteer at the women's center on campus. I wondered if I should say anything, to anyone, or if I should just keep it to myself forever, suppressing the desires I realised I'd been feeling for such a long time, now. I wondered if my friends would still like me. I wondered if I would have to come out to my family. I wondered if my partner would leave me. I wondered if we would survive this revelation I was having about myself.

It was a scary thing to think about. I could lose someone I loved very much and who I knew loved me, and whose life was entwined with mine. But I also knew that he was a good person, and a kind person - I wouldn't have been with him otherwise, so I had to trust that he would see this not as a threat, but as a deepening of our intimacy and so, in the end, I decided I couldn't keep it to myself. I couldn't go on pretending I was something I wasn't.

It's been a journey, really - I had to come out to myself, and then to the people around me who mattered and who I needed to love all of me and not just the most public bits. I came out to my partner fairly early on, and it was a bit fraught! I was worried he'd not take it well - and initially, to be honest, it was a touchy thing between us! We've grown so much as a couple since then though, that now it's just a part of me that he accepts and celebrates and acknowledges.

I still, many years on, struggle with being queer enough because I'm passably straight, and don't outwardly 'Look Queer:tm:' so people just make assumptions. Even though I'm pretty loudly out online, I'm a little less out in real life. I work in a professional corporate setting, my parents are still Conservative, the community I live in is very rural, etc., which all adds up to not always feeling safe to be out and so I maintain my stealth mode a lot.

But, the crux of it all for me, is that my relationship is queer because I am in it. I am queer regardless of who I am or am not dating. I love my partner, and I intend to keep on loving him until we are old and grey and buried, and my being queer is just a part of me as the person who my partner loves. I fell in love with him before I was out to myself, and maybe, in another life, I'd have met a woman I loved first, or figured it out sooner, or or or - but I don't live those other lives, I live this one, and in it, I love him, and he loves me, and I'm queer, and that's enough.

Welcome to the journey, beloved. It's a lifelong one, and we all do it at our own pace. There's no right or wrong way to be queer, there's only the way you are.

[aprillikesthings]

stuff about an au fic where they go on the Camino that I haven't started (and won't until next year) but am seriously considering writing, and I know I've mentioned it before, but--

so I've half-joked about writing a fic where Catra and Adora go on the Camino. A good portion of it would, obviously, be based on my own experiences. They'd be sleeping in the same albergues I did, doing the same km per day. Like I'd literally be going through my tweets and facebook posts (...which is why I literally can't even start the fic until late April of next year, when those posts come up in my fb memories lol, I'd be copy/pasting my posts into the doc to use as inspo), and tbh I could probably even hotlink some of my photos (...the ones that don't have me in them) into the fic

And I already know how I'd structure it, to some extent--there'd be really upbeat "blog posts" Adora writes in first person mixed into swapping 3rd person limited scenes.

What's funny to me is that, of course, the first time I thought of this I asked myself: why the FUCK would Catra do the Camino? and of course the answer is "because Adora asked her to," and obviously they're not a couple at the start of the fic and are by the end lol

(do they have their first kiss in the square in front the cathedral in Santiago de Compostela, or do they do it earlier than that? hmmmm. either way it'll be fun to write them lying in separate bunks at some albergue or another, struggling to sleep because they're thinking about each other. the next morning they both blame a loud snorer for their lack of sleep.)L

OKAY ANYWAY so here's the thing I worry about:

I did, in fact, do the Camino in part for religious reasons. I went to mass as often as I could, I prayed the rosary most days, I prayed for people I knew all the time, I did morning prayer in both big and tiny churches, and evening prayer sometimes. And some of the most profound experiences of my Camino were faith-related.

And......I don't know how to work those in, or if I should.

Catra I figured out first, she'd be a lapsed Catholic with very mixed feelings about God and The Church. I know a lot of people like that.

And the temptation is to just make Adora an Episcopalian, like me. Or even just someone who grew up Episcopalian, and she's not sure if she's Christian necessarily, but she has neutral-to-good feelings about it.

BUT. My worry is that if I include some of my own experiences re: faith, it's going to sound like I'm evangelizing to people.

Which is not the point of the fic, obviously!

I dunno. I am probably over-thinking this. I feel like I can just write an author's note that's like: "Hi, I'm not trying to convert anyone; but this fic is based on my own experiences, and so I included some of the religious stuff."

Some of those experiences I've rarely shared with people, because they're hella personal. (I think I've posted about them to the Episcopal subreddit and that's it.) Like some of them I don't even think I've told my partner. So it's...kinda weird to put them in a fictional story with a focus on the romance?

But also there's stories from my Camino that I can already figure out how to work into the fic--

Like the time a few of us got into a, uh, vigorous discussion about religion at the dinner of an albergue in Navarette, and it was mmmmostly this Korean-Australian dude who was bordering on anti-theist, arguing with a woman from Texas who was a "non-denominational" evangelical. And I kept trying to butt in to point out that there's another way of looking at a lot of the things they were arguing about, but it was difficult because I could barely get a word in edgewise. And by the time we were all done eating, I got so frustrated I stood up fast (and my chair made a hideous scraping noise on the floor) and everyone stared at me as I announced "SO ANYWAY I'M GOING TO CHURCH" and walked off. And I did go to the church, which was open, but they weren't having mass that day, so I just whipped out my phone and the Venite app and did evening prayer and then just sat for a bit admiring the HUGE retablo and trying to identify the saints/biblical stories.

^literally that one! Look at it. It's INSANE. The full-sized image was too big for tumblr lol. Also I can spot St James, and Mary being crowned Queen of Heaven, and baby Jesus being presented at the temple, among other stuff.

I just want to point out: Navarette is small. And yet. Look at that fucking retablo--the actual altar is at the bottom of the photo. Not every small town had a church that ornate, obviously; some were far smaller and plainer than that. But it was always wild to be in some small town of a few thousand people and it would have a church that was built in the late-medieval era and was far grander than the diocesan cathedral at home.

ANYWAY in my fic it would obviously be Adora trying to get in a word in edgewise and failing and then announcing she's going to church, and Catra would follow shortly after and just silently sit next to her. And then they'd have a discussion about the other people arguing where Adora would be like "well, they each only know the Christianity they grew up with," and Catra's like "they don't have to be assholes about it though," and then Adora's shushing her like "omg don't say things like that in a church" but she's giggling.

Ugh. I just. I don't want to write a fic where the plot ends up being "Adora and/or Catra find God." Especially given how much of the show's plot was in response to Nate's religious trauma. The fact that his trauma is from conservative Calvinism wouldn't make it any less shitty.

Lots and LOTS of non-religious people do the Camino. In fact, the people there for religious reasons are absolutely the minority these days, even if lots of other people would say "spiritual" reasons. So it wouldn't be inaccurate to leave most of the religious stuff out.

(I've repeatedly joked: The Camino is a long walk about Jesus. The amount of Jesus is optional to some extent, but if any Jesus bothers you, the Camino might not be the long walk for you.)

ANYWAY I have like six months to think about this before I could start writing it lol

[lepartidelamort]

Poland: Government Introduces Draft Bill to Legalize Faggot “Civil Unions”.

Katarzyna Kotula, Poland’s Minister of Equality, holding the draft

You cannot be allied with the United States and not go full-anal. It cannot happen. They bring in all of these organizations, they take over education and the media. That is part of the deal when you sign up for “security” with the Americans. It’s in the contracts.

Polish people are apparently just as stupid as all those jokes claim they are.

Can you imagine going full-anal because Putin reminds you of the very bad daddy Stalin?

Reuters:

Poland moved a step closer to legalising civil partnerships with the publication of a draft law on Friday that the minister responsible for the legislation hailed as a “historic day” in a country where gay rights have proved bitterly divisive. Donald Tusk’s pro-European coalition government swept to power in predominantly Catholic Poland last year largely thanks to younger, liberal voters keen to draw a line under eight years of nationalist rule during which the struggle for LGBT equality was branded by those in power as a dangerous foreign ideology. However, some of those voters have become disillusioned with what they see as the slow pace of change, putting the onus on Tusk’s centrist Civic Coalition and one of its partners in government, the Left, to show progress in charting a more socially liberal course ahead of a 2025 presidential election. “Our voters expect us to introduce these changes to human rights,” Equality Minister Katarzyna Kotula, a member of the Left, told a news conference. “I believe this is an absolutely reasonable solution… that can provide a feeling of security for many people who live in informal relationships.”

Will the Chosen One rise to the occasion?

Under the bill, couples who have a civil partnership would gain rights to inheritance and medical information about their partners. However, they would not gain the right to adopt children, a concession designed to secure the support of the conservative Polish Peasants’ Party (PSL), another party in Tusk’s ruling coalition. PSL’s failure to support a liberalisation of abortion laws has already prevented its more liberal coalition partners from delivering one of their key promises to voters. LGBT activist Bart Staszewski said the draft law was a “good sign” but the LGBT community had also been promised legislation to prevent discrimination against them.

All Polish people aren’t against Russia, at least not to the point where they support the alliance with the United States. But a lot of these people are literally so retarded that they think they can be aligned with the US to fight bad daddy neo-Stalin, and also not become an anal niggerfest.

You know what Stalin never did? He never forced Poles to do gay sex.

He also never flooded them with niggers.

Come to think of it, he also never sent gangs of neo-Nazis to slaughter Polish peasants, like the Ukraine did.

Whatever Stalin did to the Poles, it’s high time to grow the fuck up and start prioritizing what they want to happen in their country. If the entire purpose of Poland is to take revenge on Stalin – who is dead, by the way – the Polish people are going to be long gone before they even get to the final showdown with Russia.

Will the good ol’ days ever come back?

Snake Baker

[honey-and-sims]

💔, 🥩, 🍓 for lawrence and winifred please <33

💔 (broken heart) - Who has your character hurt most? Physically or emotionally? How did it feel? Do they regret it?

Winifred - This may be a shock, but I feel as though this would be her father. He obviously wasn't around for her, and she never met him, and while I despise the term "daddy issues", I do think she suffers from some those stereotypical behaviors (difficulty trusting men, low self-esteem, people pleasing). Of course, through therapy today, we are able to identify that some a father abandoning their child can lead to psychological issues later on in life, but I'm not certain if Winifred would even know that's where some of her issues stem from. So, as for how it felt, it's probably deeply troubling & confusing, especially when she was just a girl. Lawrence - Jeeeeeez, again, probably his father! I have explained it in asks & sort-of alluded to it lightly, but Lawrence's father would have been considered abusive in today's society. Which is why it took him so long to realise he had only taken on caring for the farm to make his father proud, even if it was from beyond the grave!

🥩 (steak) - Does your oc have any coping mechanisms? Healthy or unhealthy?

Winifred - Ooooo she definitely isolates as a means to cope with her problems! I assume she learned this from spending long hours at the workhouse alone and struggling to engage socially both as a girl, and even now as adult. Lawrence - Although it pains me to say it he's a workaholic. Even now being a position where he doesn't necessarily have to work, but still chooses to. In some ways, having a good work ethic can be a good thing, but I also think a lot of people use it as a form of distraction without realising it. Also, probably note the last question as well tbh.

🍓 (strawberry) - Does your oc believe in anything? Are they superstitious? Religious? Atheistic? Has anything in their past made them this way?

Winifred - In this post, I sort-of alluded to Winifred's beliefs a little, which is the Pagan's holiday for the Autumn equinox, however, I wouldn't label her a pagan. I do think she would be very superstitious though, mostly because there a lot of pretty silly superstitions that came from the Victorian era that I feel she might adhere to. Lawrence - Again, I've never explicitly stated Lawrence's religion but I do actually believe him to have been raised Catholic. He was raised in Wales, which is mostly Anglican, however, his Mother's two best friends (Beth & Valerie) are canonically Catholic in the story, and by extension, I just decided Lawrence's parents were too. As for if he's superstitious, this is a complete yes. There are a lot of old superstitions about death & mourning that I hope to include moving forward.

🧣(scarf) - What comforts your oc? Is it an item? An action? A person? Whatever it is, how any why does it comfort them?

Ugh, my chance to gush about my favorite couple ever! Unsuprising, his comfort person is obviously Winifred. When I was more Gameplay focused, his aspiration was to find 'the one', which I took to mean, find someone he loved and begin to build a legacy (a family, a career, etc). For Lawrence, Winifred is just perfect, and he probably idolizes her to an unhealthy degree. But she is totally his person, and making her happy and comfortable is what matters most to him.

Send Me RED Emoji Asks! <3

[deadboyfriendd]

hello flea. i hope ur well. i read the new letter of bisbee you released and idk why it made me cry so much. unlike steve, i do consider myself a woman of god, but my faith has evaded me for a while now, and i don't know why but i feel like a like steve does, though obvs i imagine i live a much more comfortable life than him and haven't had the opportunity to shed as much blood as he has. still, i think we all feel a bit like a kicked creature whose only good for biting, and you really got that snapshot in a couple of sentences that packs a lot of punch. i will definitely be re reading this one a lot. i'm sorry of i took too much focus away from your work onto my own feelings, i just wanted you to know that you're writing really touched me deep. so excited for bisbee <3. i think about this steve a lot.

HI

I'm stumbling out of my docs covered in blood to come answer this.

So, here's some flea lore below the cut:

I write about faith a lot, especially in these pieces because I struggle with God and religion very much. Religion was used as a punishment for me, and now I equate it with shame and that feeling of inadequacy. In a way, it made me grieve who I probably should have been or should have ended up. That maybe, maybe, if I hadn't gotten kicked out of school, my life wouldn't have ended up differently, my parents would have loved me another way, the wrongs that happened in my life wouldn't have happened, I wouldn't be as shitty of a person as I turned out to be.

Even now, after three college degrees, a good life, a job that is really good for me. All of the good in my life feels undeserved, like somehow I will never deserve the good things that happened to me because of how I got kicked out of public high school and had to go to catholic school. No matter what good I do or what I accomplish, it still feels like rectifying the embarrassment of that wrong instead of just letting the "right" exist.

It made me really cynical and cold, and really, really learn how to resent people and humanity and morality and God. It honestly kind of ruined who I would have ended up being.

I guess what I'm getting at is PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't apologize for your feelings, because I WANT you to be able to feel those things. Its how //I// felt those things while I was writing it. It's how I can personify and deconstruct these things for myself to be able to understand them, and, if it helps you, then, maybe it'll help me, too.

[paula-of-christ]

So I am struggling with where to go from here. I've been going to some aa meetings and of course it's in a church, most of them take place in a catholic church near me. And a huge part of 12 step programs involves finding "a power greater than yourself", and every single time I start to explore spirituality and religion I get drawn to Catholicism. I didn't have religious parents, not much influence of it in my life except for a few times my grandmother would take my brother and I to church with her sometimes when she'd visit. I've done a lot of really awful things over the course of my life (i killed someone by accident years ago) it's hard for me to believe in a God that cares about me. I'm certain something exists that created the universe, I don't know what to call it besides God. Anyway I guess my question is how would I start exploring Catholicism? Like should I just show up to a service on a Sunday and go from there, and what should I expect? I just feel so drawn to it as a whole but I have no idea what to do about it cause I've never been religious/gone to church much/etc. Any advice would be wonderful.

Boy did you come to the right place, my friend! I am glad you are going through a program to help recovery, I know that can be an extremely difficult thing to go through, realizing all of the things you've done that are not what you'd like them to be. I think the most important piece of advice I can give you regardless if you decide to become a formal Christian and join the Catholic Church, is to continue to look for that growth inside of you and the way you treat others. Sometimes it can remain hidden to us just how much we are growing.

I posted this recently about sins being forgiveable and if you just want to take a moment to read that, sit with it, and then continue on to my practical advice about how to actually convert. (under the page break)

The biggest reason I say you came to the right place is because of the patronage of my blog, St. Paul. He was complacent and considered himself a murderer prior to his conversion to the Church, and then after experiencing the Risen Christ, became the greatest evangelist in Church History. He wrote the majority of the new testaments. All of those letters authored by Paul, is the Paul that helped the temple officials find and stone many of our first martyrs, including a tradition where he helped martyr the first martyr, St. Stephen.

You can read his conversion in Acts chapter 9, but if you go a little bit earlier in Acts, you can read about the persecution of the Christians as well.

The first step to formal conversion, since I think you already have what you need for spiritual conversion (a desire to pursue Catholicism) is to just start going to Mass. You can try out a couple of different parishes near you if there is more than one. If you google "Catholic church near me" and look at the different church's websites to find their Mass times or go to MassTimes.org I believe it is called. I would say try out different parishes to feel it out. They will all have the same basic structure but maybe the people at one parish are more friendly than others.

Once you find a parish you like, they will usually advertise RCIA classes in their newsletter/bulletin, or you can simply call or email the parish office (usually in the bulletin) to enquire about RCIA classes. RCIA stands for Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults. It is generally a 9 month class, where you learn more about Catholicism and how to live it out. At any point between signing up and the Easter Vigil, where people in RCIA are brought into the Church either through baptism or confirmation (both if you're getting baptized, but if you already are, just confirmation) you can decide not to become Catholic. If you need more time or if you decide to go with a different Christian Church. Ideally you stick with it, but it unfortunately does happen.

A note about sin and being sorry for it; through baptism we are saved. We have an obligation after that to remain in good standing with God, but we can always get back to good standing with God. The only reason we are alive, or the world exists, or for any of this to be here, is because God loves each and every small part of us, down to the very atoms, immensely, and wills for us to remain here. If God, who is Love, stopped loving us, we would stop existing. Just because it is difficult for us to forgive ourselves, does not mean that God has difficulty forgiving us. God understands our struggles, because "he was made sin so that we might become righteousness" (2 Corinthians 5:21) but he doesn't sin. He was tempted in the desert, and again in the Garden of Gethsemane, but He did not sin, because He is God.

I cannot stress enough how much picking up a Catholic bible is important, and reading the Gospels. I specify Catholic only because the Catholic bible has books in it that Protestant bibles do not. A good translation that I personally like is the New American Bible Revised Edition (NABRE).

Be assured of my prayers and please reach out on or off anon if you need some more encouragement!