#But just playing Gotham knights got me to thinking how goood a movie this could have been

[hiyaluronic]

Just started playing Gotham Knights and my first thought is how good this would be as a Batman movie.

This is why DCEU is so far behind Marvel in terms of a cinematic universe. It doesn’t really expand their heroes. Batman is great as a solo character but his kids and the extended batfam are where he really shines. (even when he’s not present physically. Bat!dad!bruce is best.☺️Just look at Wayne Family Adventures) imho I think we’re all collectively tired of the repeated origin story films. Throw us right in the middle of Cataclysm, follow it up with No Man’s Land. Or, Court of Owls was a great story line and a pretty recent one that new fans would be able to find and read up on. Give us Under the Redhood, even with Jensen being out of the age range to play Jason now I would still love to see that story brought to the big screen. Just stop rebooting and recasting and STOP the origin stories, unless it’s a lesser known DC character that most people will need some background info on.

I have hope James Gunn knows how to turn the DCEU around because I have been a DC fan girl since I was a teenager and have been sorely disappointed in the movies as of late.

[praphit]

Bats and Wick: Leave tortured souls alone!

It is Oscar season, people! Y’all  better get out there and see these movies! All kinds of goodies: we got sensitive movies like “Lion”, where a brown man gets Brady Bunch Fever and chases after some white woman… I think he saves her from a cg Lion, played by Liam Neeson or something. Good stuff!

We’ve got movies like “Hidden Figures” and “Fences” to keep those pesky “Oscarssowhite” hashtags away.

We’ve even got some science fiction action getting in there with “Arrival” where Amy Adams falls in love with some aliens that are literally all fingers. 

But, sometimes, movies come out a lil late for the cut, and have to wait a year. That’s the case here with these two tortured souls – John Wick and Batman

Let’s start with Keanu (aka Neo and my man gets another aka with John Wick) 

I loved the first Chapter.

If y’all don’t know, John Wick is a hitman. One of the rules of the killing game is never fall in love – he did so, but she ended up dying (sickness). She left him a dog, his car got stolen, and that dog got killed in the process, and that’s when we got a movie!

In chapter 1, it was not enough for John Wick to beat you, but he’s gotta beat you in the most badass way possible. Kinda like Michael Jordan used to do – you’re already down 30 points, jumps from the three point line for a dunk, while in the air he takes some selfies, winks at your girlfriend, does a Nike commercial, talks to the players below him about how he banged their moms (and he really did), eats a sandwich, finally dunks, and then lands in slo-mo. – yeah... that’s Wick.

John Wick is the Michael Jordan of the Hitman game.

But, still hurting from his wife and dog, he simply wants to be left alone. In Chapter 2, he has a NEW dog, he’s got his bachelor pad lookin all feng shui. Seriously, the ladies would love this place, but he doesn’t want them (rare for an action man) - just his dog, some Netflix, and a bottle of bourbon. He was good! Just sitting around, getting his mope on - 

Making pensive look good, right??

With his new dog - 

PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER!

But… if he and his dog are content, we have no movie, so… they blew up his house. 

Yeah, they BLEW UP HIS FRICKIN HOUSE!

Why won’t they leave this man alone?!

Fortunately, this gives us another stylish revenge flick.

All the good stuff from the last movie is in this one! LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!

Whenever Liam Neeson decides to retire from whupin ass, John Wick will be ready to step in. The creative action is there, the humor of all of this carnage happening in NY with no one being all that concerned is there, Keanu is doin his thang… I only have two issues – a minor one and a major one; and they both have names.

1)      Common (minor one) –

Another role with him playing a charisma-less bad guy. Not bad, but it could have been so much better with someone who could do comedy well. I know that might not make sense to you, but if you watch the movie, you’ll know what I mean.

2)      Ruby Rose (major one) - 

Sexy ass Ruby Rose. I mean look at her. Whew! I lead worship at a church, and if I (while leading) saw Ruby walk in… good sweet Lord. I’d stop the service so the congregation could give a united “Damn she fine!” I mean we’d all have to start repenting right then and there as fights over her would spontaneously break out.

If Ruby is in a movie like this you’re expecting sexiness and badassery… and you get neither. I’m not saying she has to be a hoe, but… c’mon now... Morpheus had more sex appeal in his scenes than her (NOT HER FAULT BTW… I blame the director). 

And Morpheus was walking around looking homeless and petting street birds. 

Ruby can act too! Do something with her!  It’d be like having The Rock in a movie, but not utilizing his charm… or that bahdy.

Plus nobody is going to believe that little Ruby can take on John Wick. I mean give her something… skills with swords, ability to blow fire… or simply make her over the top crazy – NOTHING!

BUT… her being mute was a nice touch.

All in all – good stuff! Grade: B+

Oh but there’s one more tortured soul that I need to get to… The Batman.

We know Bats as brooding, calculated, and disgruntled, but in Lego Batman we get to see more of the jerk side of Batman. He’s delusional and all about the glory, but I’d say that he’s earned that. The man saves Gotham (a city that deserves to be given up on) like every week.

But these ingrates can’t handle Batman’s shine, so they’re all playing pop-psychologist.

Alfred (his annoying butler) – talkin smack, saying Batman needs to move on with his life and start a family. Don’t you hate it when people try to pimp you out and marry you off?? Alfred does this in every movie. “Master Bruce, don’t you think it’s time to settle down?”

Sure, let Bruce give up all of the Russian supermodels, flamboyant lifestyle, his Bat toys, and total Dark Knight glory for this

Some of you might say this is cute... and it kinda is, but look at the face of the dad... yeaaaaaah. He’s thinking he much rather be doing this 

and this - 

Barbara Gordon – says stuff like “We can’t have a grown man dressed up like a bat, beating up homeless people and the mentally ill.” 

While out of context... she may have a point, but you tell me that while Catwoman is breaking into your home to steal your stuff, and while The Riddler is spray painting riddles all over your property. On a side note, isn't Barbara Gordon supposed to be closer to Robin's age? Batman was hitting on her hard throughout the movie... kinda like Ben Affleck putting the moves on someone like... Emma Watson. Kinda odd... but I'll let it slide! Cuz he's frickin Batman! Once you reach a certain level of glory you can do what you want! Look at Beyonce's Grammy performance... made no sense, but she's The Queen/"our light"(according to Adele) so we applaud anyway! Let Bats do what he wants!

Even Joker got in on the pop-psych – 

Well, kinda... trying to convince Batman that he’s gay for him, and that they complete each other... or something. Just imaging kids playing batman vs joker in the backyard... play time is about to get real interesting:) Anyway...

This movie has all of the fun and amazing cgi from The Lego Movie, and it even has some goood messages to get across... I mean, I disagree with them, but they’re well thoughout.

Movie Messages: 

“Get over your painful past” and “family is important”

Yeah, I said it, I disagree with them.

What if Eminem had gotten over his jaded past??

Think of all of the great music we’d miss out on

Or if Mike Tyson had processed his... “issues” properly?? He never would have went on to have such a dominating career.

and as for family --- family hurts us the most out of everybody, right?? Plus, in this movie, Batman is doing fine on his own. It’s not until people start making him doubt himself that he starts getting sloppy. There’s also a part in this movie (spoiler I guess) that they lock Batman up.... that’s when the city gets worse! 

Let Batman be himself! If he wants to kill, let him do it. If he wants to hold onto to pain and solitude, let him be!

I say stick to Russian models as your family and allow the pain to fester until it explodes in a glorious fashion.

Anyway, this movie is good. Not as strong as the Lego movie, but a solid B.

Soooooo… what have we learned?

1)      Alfred is an asshole

2)      Larry Fishburne is sexier than Ruby Rose

3)      LEAVE TORTURED SOULS ALONE! - quit trying to change people! You may need their dark craziness to save you one day.