#But it's part of learning and on some level I feel grateful for that lesson too. ✨

[elitadream]

I hope you don't mind me asking this but I'm confused about something. Did you only do Mario art because it was a popular thing? Because it seemed like you thought a lot about it with headcanons and such

Quite the opposite! I ultimately stopped because my blog had gotten too big for my personal comfort, and also because it was occupying too much space inside my mind. 🥲 I was intensely invested in my personal vision of these characters; so much so that I was putting aside important things to accomodate time and energy for it.

And that wasn't healthy.

The previous communities I was in were very small by comparison. Private discord groups for the most part. I was still very new to sharing art with a broader audience when I joined the Mario fandom, and like I mentioned in my update, the effect that this had on me long-term was sadly far from beneficial.

I've always loved discussing headcanons and other concepts regarding the subjects I'm passionate about! And I still very much do. 🤲 But now I aim to do it in a way that feels more reasonable to me and doesn't obstruct my every day life. 🌱🌤️

[donascozylivingroom]

LET GO OF THE STRESS AND HUSTLE TO 'GET THERE'

I was scrolling through tiktok and i found a post by someone who told me if i am comfortable in my life i shouldn't be, because i am not working on my next level. i got annoyed and skipped, two videos later: "if u want to be more comfortable..." ... skip!

i'm tired of society convincing us where we are is not ok. i either must want to be more or less comfortable, never accept my life and improve upon the life i have right now with as tiny steps as i feel i can right now.

guess what - I AM COMFORTABLE! And I love it.

I used to be a master at hustling, doing everything i can to get my million dollars and NYC Penthouse. Manifesting didn t work for me until i learned to robotically affirm and persist, and since then i am getting everything i want. And yeah I still have resistance to 2 of my only big desires, everything else i'm getting affirming 1-3 times because i assume i only need to affirm once and i get it, i repeated that for a while and ever since manifestation has been so easy.

And yeah just because i didn t get my 2 main desires yet, I AM COMFORTABLE. I understand that those things I want so much are part of my soul lessons and why my soul came here. God/Source/myself before this life decided to make some things harder than others, and that's okay.

My whole life i was either uncomfortable because i didn t get something external, or worried - why am I so comfortable?

I learned to never do anything that is not easy because my plan for this life is to FLOW, but still i was fed by the media that i am not perfect as i am, or where i am. It's not true.

Wherever you are, it's your starting place, your zero point. And if you are experiencing it, you are probably meant to be there. I mean look around u in the present moment, not to your mind. Are you okay? You're meant to be here, boo.

How can you make your life more beautiful where you are? How can you be more grateful for what is around you? What you already have.

There s no rush, you don't have to get there tomorrow. I know when you are young it seems like you have to do everything very fast, and the speed of manifestation on this planet has improved since i was a kid, everything seems to be more light and fast, BUT...

There will probably be a few more years until the speed of manifestation will be instant, especially for every single thing.

You are part of a collective, a collective consciousness, and everyone must be on board until they push the START button from above 🤭😁

We are literally on this mission together, it's not just about you, it is about the ascension of Earth and its citizens.

Don't stress! Make it your job to relax whatever happens and you will see small improvement after small improvement which will lead to an easy, chilled life that is financially supported by the Universe enough that u have time to do your affirmations, your journaling, your shadow work, etc. Make it a habit to not stress, because stress is always misaligned since it doesn t feel good.

My life currently: affirming, journaling and pinteresting most of the day while in bed...earlier i did groceries and got a lot of things i love to eat and would be considered expensive where i live. Spent 120 euro today and i am in europe. I don't work. I only manifest haha. I'm yet to be at the financial level i want (one of my two desires i'm working on) but i still live a comfortable life, a life that energetically i wish i will have once i have lots and lots of money, because the vibes are amazing. I'd rather have this warm house and bed, friendships and good vibes than a view from the last floor in NYC from my bed, while ridden with anxiety and loneliness.

Ya know.. Everything will be ok, if you struggle to affirm meditate and try your affirmations just once to check how it feels with eyes closed within your inner being..and then check more affirmations one at a time... and ask yourself, your inner being: what do i really need? what do i really want? and when you are clear, then start repeating and manifesting.

good luck!

[bunnyluvx]

genshin as teachers! ♡

featuring: albedo, yanfei, yun jin & zhongli!

summary: what would the genshin characters be like as teachers?

warnings: a little bit of angst on zhongli's part. nothing else!

tags: modern fantasy au | albedo and zhongli are still old men bc i said so | queer and autistic albedo | slice of life | fluff? fluff. | a whole bunch of cuties tbh

a/n: hi everyone!! happy halloween and happy samhain to anyone who is celebrating!! if not then i hope you have a wonderful day! have some headcanons <3

date started: 4:58PM, october 27th, 2024. date finished: 3:50PM, october 31st, 2024.

divider credit: @thecutestgrotto | wc: 2.2k | ao3

albedo ♡

you'd think that because albedo is an alchemist in the game, that i would put him down as a science teacher. not this time around he's not! i see albedo as an art teacher! even though it is only a hobby for him, i really like the image of him passing his admiration for art onto the kids he teaches. i think that his love for the subject would really show in his teaching and captivate his students. he would inspire them to be better artists and when they come to visit him years later, many would tell him that he was the reason why they wanted to be better at art. it always warms his heart to hear that he has influenced the next generation, and it makes him even happier seeing how much they have progressed throughout the years. he definitely keeps up with as many of his older students as he can, follows them on social media and scrolls through their work with pride.

i think that he would teach high school kids, specifically ages 14-16. when he was first getting started with teaching, he did grow a soft spot for grade school children, but with high schoolers, he's able to have conversations with people who have a more in-depth understanding of the world. when they all aren't busy, he likes to talk to them about things that are personal to everyone to understand their thoughts, opinions, feelings and ideas. this is one of many things that he loves about his job, learning more about his students. every individual that he teaches are so fascinating in their own way, and having the opportunity to get to know them all is something that he feels grateful for everyday.

i don't really see him having a special nickname for his students, probably just "students", "class", "kids", etc.

albedo isn't too strict of a teacher, he does have his rules and enforces them accordingly but he isn't uptight necessarily. he allows phones, food, drinks, earbuds/headphones etc in his class as long as they do not become a distraction, but if he notices that anyone isn't paying attention to the lesson because of these things, then he will ask for them to be put away.

a big pet peeve of albedo's is when students don't clean up after themselves. there is no reason for them not to, and he does not have the time to tidy their messes. it typically isn't much of an issue, as many of his kids are respectful of the space they take up and the time they have, but when it does happen, he cannot help but be annoyed.

albedo is very beloved by his pupils. he accommodates all of his students as best as he can, and he does his best to ensure that he is a safe space for his kiddos to come to him whenever they need anything. he is particularly adored by his fellow queer and neurodivergent folk, for they can relate to him at that level. he is happy that his efforts of creating a safe place for the young people that he teaches have paid off, especially for those who are like him. many have called him their favorite teacher because of his detailed teaching style and open-mindedness, and he humbly accepts the honor.

albedo never had an interest in social media until his students started to beg him to download some. he agreed begrudgingly and downloaded a few, and was very rarely active on them until those kids graduated. it was only not long after that he started to become more active. he never really posts, but he does interact with their content and keeps up with them to soak in the pride of their development.

yanfei ♡

yanfei being a government teacher makes the most sense to me. she is very passionate about law, so i feel like being able to pass on that knowledge as to how it all works is something that she would find really fulfilling and exciting.

once again, i see yanfei teaching high school kids, ages 14-16. maybe a little younger, but it's a strong maybe. i feel like she would get along really well with the kids and it would be really fun for her.

i can see yanfei calling her students "lovelies" or "lovely people". i think she really adores her students and wants to make them feel special, so that's how she refers to them outside of all of the basic stuff.

yanfei isn't much of a strict teacher either, she does allow phones, headphones/earbuds, snacks, drinks etc in her classroom as long as it is in moderation. she is a bit stricter than albedo, though, because when the students are working, they are working. no dilly-dallying or distractions, if she catches someone that is getting distracted or straight-up not doing their work, she will remind them to stay on task or to get on task if they aren't. she never sounds mean or anything, she just wants everyone to stay focused.

something that really grinds yanfei's gears is deliberate disobedience. when she asks a student to put something away, and they refuse or even start to speak to her disrespectfully, she will start to lose it. she's pretty good at keeping a level head, she won't yell or rarely fights with her students, but it really tips her over the edge when she asks one of her kiddos to do something kindly and they respond rudely. she didn't do anything to deserve that treatment, so why she receives it sometimes is something that she will never understand. it's something that she's learned to deal with as she has progressed in her career, and it doesn't happen too often, but when it does, it puts her very on-edge.

yanfei is very straightforward in her teaching style. once a lesson has started, it has started and it is uncommon for her to get distracted while she is teaching. a lot of her students like this because it means that they can get their work done swiftly and without any disturbances, and it fills her with pride to know that they are so dedicated to their studies.

just because yanfei likes for her and her kiddos to remain focused during their learning time doesn't mean that she is always so serious. she will converse with the students and laugh with them, and tries to surprise them with fun lessons so that they can stay engaged in what she's teaching them. she'll take selfies with them and follows them on social media, even make tiktoks with them when they are done with their work! while she does take her time on the clock seriously, that doesn't mean that she won't have any fun or bond with her students in the process.

yun jin ♡

music teacher yun jin. need i say more?

i feel like yun jin would teach grade school children. the thought of her singing with the kids and passing her love for music onto them just makes my heart feel all warm and happy eyfbuw.

yun jin calls her students "little ones", "lovelies", maybe other endearing terms. she uses "little ones" the most and it's adorable. her eyes show how much she loves and cares for her students whenever she looks at them.

yun jin is not a very strict teacher, some say that she spoils her students a little bit too much. she brings in snacks, candies, stickers, and makes her lessons as fun for the children as she can!!!! she believes that they deserve all of the rewards in the world for their accomplishments, and maybe she does overdo it sometimes, but that does not mean that she is a pushover. while she does find it difficult to tell her kids no, she knows that it is essential to the classroom environment, so she will be firm with her boundaries, much to the kids' dismay.

as much as she loves to let the kids have fun with all of the different instruments and wants them to be creative, she is still teaching grade school children who aren't always aware of their volume. they get excited, therefore they get loud, and while she is pretty used to it, sometimes all of the instruments being played at the same time with high-pitched screeching small people scratches the chalkboard of her brain. especially if she has asked them to quiet down multiple times, and they don't listen/get louder. her students respect her, so they do try to mind their volume when she asks, but there are days where they aren't as mindful of the noise they're making. there have been times where she has had to leave the room for a few minutes because of how overstimulating it could be, or told the kids to put the instruments away since they weren't adhering to her instruction.

yun jin is the type of teacher who is almost always smiling. she is cheerful around everyone in the workplace, especially around the little ones. doing what she does everyday makes her so happy that she cannot help herself! she adores the children that she teaches with everything that she is. they are all so unique, smart and kind, and she feels so lucky that she gets to help them expand their knowledge about something that is so important in the world.

sometimes, when she is alone in her classroom, she likes to blast rock and roll music. some of the staff have caught her jamming out to it, and to say that they were surprised is an understatement. yun jin is so well-known for enjoying opera that no one would expect her to enjoy rock and roll. i think it would be funnier if the students found out because they would be asking her all sorts of questions and she would just have to laugh it off.

zhongli ♡

this man is a history teacher. he has been alive for many years, therefore he is able to give an accurate, detailed description of history that he will be passing forward, and he can connect with younger generations to understand the modern world.

i don't have any specific ideas for what age group zhongli would teach, because honestly, i feel as though he would be happy teaching any age group. he is so interested to learn more about the world that has come to be that i feel as though it wouldn't matter much to him. no age group in particular really sticks out to me either.

zhongli wouldn't have any special nicknames for his students. just the normal stuff.

zhongli is similar to yanfei, but i imagine that he is a bit more strict than her. not to say that he's extremely hung-up on his rules, but he is very firm about them. he is never disrespectful when he is enforcing the boundaries within his classroom, but he does make it clear that he will not be so easily swayed. i imagine that he may be a bit more loose if he was teaching younger children, but he wouldn't tolerate any misbehavior.

this is a little sad and i don't know how much of a "pet peeve" it can be considered but i think that one of zhongli's pet peeves is when his class isn't listening to him. he knows that he has a tendency to go on long rambles that not everybody understands, but when he feels like his students are straight-up ignoring him, it makes him a little sad. he wants to be able to share his thoughts and stories with the younger people, but when he gets cast to the side like that, he can't help but feel a little down. he corrects himself and gets back to subject if he or any of the students can even remember what he was talking about to begin with, and he does apologize for it, but it still disheartens him.

zhongli is a very fun teacher, i think. he has been doing this for so long that he knows exactly how to keep the students engaged in what he teaches them, and he has also mentally noted every trick in the book that any student has ever used on him, so that if there is a repeat of an event, he knows what's going on and how to respond. he is always willing to try new things on behalf of his kiddos, and he is very open-minded. it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be able to listen to zhongli's stories, so many of his students tune in whenever he starts talking, for they are very interested in hearing about one of plenty tales that he has to tell. he is someone that everybody could learn from, if only to give him the chance.

if zhongli was teaching older children, they would be begging him to get a phone. he never had one before his students began to beg him, plus he figured that he would end up needing one anyways. he didn't use it much at first, but that changed with time. he soon got to using social media, and now does all sorts of fun things on there with his students. he finds it a bit difficult to keep up with the newer trends, but he does his best and his students love him for it.

@BUNNYLUVX ,, all rights reserved. do not copy/plagiarize any of my works or submit it into ai. any and all support is appreciated! <3

[fafatile]

Sana’s ideal type.

I did this reading using oracle and tarot cards. Remember this reading is for entertainment purposes only, take everything with a grain of salt.

A theme that I see very strongly in the reading is yearning, so I’ll try to explain more in deep what I see. I think that’s quite possible that Sana already met her perfect partner, someone that ticks all the boxes of her ideal type. But I also think that’s possible that this relationship didn’t work out or never started. So she yearns for this person and maybe hopes to find someone similar or get back with this them. But I’ll start describing what I see for her ideal type:

I think Sana wants a smooth talker, someone that knows how to talk to people and win them, get their respect and just fit in. I see a social butterfly, someone that has a big circle of friends and knows how to network easily. Curiosity, someone that’s very curious about others and about the world in general, they have to be always in movement. I see a very touchy person, someone that’s very open and honest. This can also translate quite negative which could mean someone messy, they might lack boundaries. But focusing on the positives, someone intelligent, curious about learning more and very jovial so she might want a younger partner. I think Sana wants someone that still has some innocence or they view the world very positively. She might want someone that can lift her spirits when she’s feeling down, someone who can still give her hopes and support when she feels that everything is lost. I also think she wants someone who can help her to heal and she also would love to do the same for her partner. A partner that can change her and maybe teach her to view things from another perspective. The type of person I’m seeing here is very innocent if I’m honest.

With the next cards I see some change or maybe some duality. She wants someone masculine, strong, sensual. So I see someone strong and with confidence. So connecting both parts I think she wants someone with duality, they might have a certain type of look but their personality it’s very different. A way that I can describe this is a bad boy/girl that has a really big heart. I see the word heart of gold. So the person she might like to date is someone that acts one way with their friends, but with their partner they’re a total teddy bear. She likes someone that’s protective and very giving with their friends, family and colleagues. I also think she likes someone mysterious and someone that you have to peel off to really get them. She might believe in love at first sight, but getting to know someone to a deep level is not an easy thing. So she might like someone that takes things slowly or really wants to take off her mask.

I also see that she wants someone that is completely healed and very open about their past wounds. She loves people that share what they been through and how they have been able to get through it. She respects that type of people so she might gravitate towards very hardworking people, someone that had a hard life. I see someone very open and giving, yes, maybe in the past they were hurt but they forgave and moved on, all that stuff are lessons and they grateful they went through all of it. I see someone very resilient. Very wise, she hopes this person can guide her and give her some advice. She also loves helping others or just giving support to others so she might want someone similar to her in that sense. I see someone in constant movement, so she wants someone that might surprise her with a travel or maybe having time to visit her. I see very jovial energy, but I still think she might like someone with an old soul.

For her ideal partner I see a lot of heartbreak and this is something they overcame. I don’t know if this can translate to her and this person fixing some problems they had in the past. But like I said her ideal type is someone very resilient so she wants someone that can keep charming her everyday and if their connection doesn’t work out or it’s quite doomed she wants this person to try again and again. For what I see she likes people with some type of power.

For physical traits what I see are black hair, piercings, tattoos, cold energy, cat like eyes or vibe, CEO vibes or they might dress very formal so they look very cold. Duality.

Here are some songs that played while I was doing the reading.

[tarotmundomonde]

Your current karma general reading

First, I want to thank @lilstargazing for suggesting this topic to me. It wasn't one I had thought of but found it very interesting and so here we are!

pick a number 1-5 OR pick a colour: 1-blue 2-red 3-purple 4-yellow 5-green Hope you enjoy! And next will be "Your current karma in romantic love reading"!

1.Welcome to pile number 1. What comes to your current karma, a lot is about communication and the intellectual. Very strong throat chakra and sacral chakra activation, possibly healing those chakras or rebalancing those chakras could be needed. First of all, there could be some hidden motivations surrounding you. There is a strong focus on you claiming your independence and you being the real you. To be your authentic self, to express yourself. You could experience a lot of worry, but you need to overcome that. It seems you are called to do some shadow work, because you are meant to grow. Be mindful of what you feed your mind, the more you focus on the positive, the more the positive will expand. And a part of the shadow work is to become aware of your own hidden motives and what it is you are longing for. And then to find your north star, to find your inner light, to find yourself. It looks like also you are dealing with hunger. For example, you could have a bigger appetite, because you long for more in life or maybe you simply need to eat more healthily. It looks like you are also meant to take a step back, trust and start planning and strategizing. Whatever that would be about, maybe just about daily routines, maybe school or work. It does look like there is a very stong focus on strategizing. And on foreshadowing, predicting what's going to be next, or what's going to be someone else's next move. Also, what's simply the best strategy for you, for example at work or learning and study strategy. Indeed, it's a lot about clarity and clearing things, making space. Maybe literally you need to do some cleaning. And also to get organized, to get things organized, to put things in order and in the right places. Like making things easy for you to find them. There is also focus on service and on kindred partnerships. You are called to tap into the energy of grace and peace and blessings. And you seem to be learning about using power with wisdom. So you are possibly taught lessons about what is to be in your power and what is healthy. And also, it looks like a part of your current karma is that some change is coming or going on, transformation and joyous opportunities. Now, one more thing that came through for this pile is also celebrity. Like said before about being you, there is a reference about shining like a celebrity, to be the star you were born to be. To walk your path. Perhaps it's time for you to confront your fears of exposure, of being seen and noticed. To become a bit more bold and just be you and shine your own light. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

2.Welcome to pile number 2. What comes to your current karma, there is a very strong presence of divine protection in your life at this time. There is also a great possibility that you could be into the supernatural at this time. You have a very strong lesson about denial and acceptance going on for you right now. You are definitely going through so many transformations at this time, so it's inevitable that you are experiencing some storms as well. It's life and it's also about stepping into life and to not be afraid of changes. Your life seems to be speeding up somehow. You are experiencing the phoenix effect in so many ways and on so many levels at this time. It seems like life could feel like quite the mystery to you at this time. Having to experience deep emotions and learning not to worry too much and learning to trust life. And learning how to find peace and how to create peace and how to be in peaceful energy. Learning to be grateful about peace, too. Peace is a huge theme for you right now. And then the phoenix effect as rising from the ashes aka taking your power back. To kinda rediscover yourself and to grow into a stronger you. Another big theme for you at this time is discovery and learning great lessons. Don't worry, you have spirit guides watching over you. For some of you, now is a time of studies. Maybe you are a student and so it seems that your studies are currently a big part of your current karma. You could feel drawn to libraries or bookstores or to school buildings or perhaps just generally to some specific types of architecture styles as well. Creativity and creation is a big theme as well. Creative thinking and creative solutions. Your current karma involves working harder and growing smarter. It's time for you to find new ways of solving problems. Whether it's just about some small tasks or situations. There is also a huge milestone for you in the cards. And one more thing is that you are learning that you'll always have what you need or find what you need. So you are taught lessons about gratitude, of assistance and that you have all you need. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

3. Welcome to pile number 3. What comes to your current karma, it's like you've been disconnected from your spirit and so you are asked to reconnect with your spirit, with your higher self. There is a sense of much good impending, but delayed currently, because you need first space for you to reconnect with the divine. Third-eye activation came through for you, maybe you need to do some third-eye chakra cleansing and rebalancing. But at this time it is activated, so you could notice yourself having increased intuition and clear seeing and visions. You seem to also be dealing with some sort of power struggles. So a part of your current karma is to take your power back, step back into your power and the right use of power. So you are called to work on having healthy boundaries and also honesty came through for you. And also you are called to see the royal you, to work on your self-esteem and you are going through a time of self-esteem healing. One big theme that came through for you as well is patience and stillness. It's not the right time yet, so use this opportunity to also focus on resting and taking it easy. You might not fully realize it, but you are taking steps forward and moving forward, even if it doesn't seem so at this time. You do seem to have some collaboration going on or coming in. Passion also came through. So there is a focus on your passions like hobbies. Also, sacral chakra healing and rebalancing. One absolute big theme for you is the divine presence. You might be struggling with faith issues at this time, but it's all about finding faith and having faith. You have very strong divine protection present at this time. It seems to be very important that you know that. Now on a lighter side, you are called to become a magnet for love, light and joy. It really wants to enter your life, you are called to enter that energy space. There are magical moments awaiting you, miracles. And true love. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

4.Welcome to pile number 4. This pile has heavy student vibes to it. It's very clear that this is a student pile. Your current karma is so clearly all about student life. For example it's pretty clear that you cannot advance in big steps, but instead you are required patience and to build little by little and in breaks. For example you have to focus on one semester at a time, on one exam period at a time. So a strong part of your current karma is studying and teachers and choices and consequences and creation and creativity and wisdom. In the end, this is all teaching you to walk your path and to trust you have the needed inner wisdom reguarding your student life and courage. And a part of you growing wiser is of course possible regrets, like the regret that you didn't study enough during the exam week. Things like that. And then endings. It's so much about preparations, plans, planning and routines. About knowing the outcomes you seek and what you are trying to manifest. It's a lot about using your mind and the intellectual, knowing the best learning methods for yourself and to tend to the small things, to pay attention to details. A lot of mental hard work. It seems a part of your current karma is to find and recognize your gifts and to not settle for less. And you seem to be dealing with so much new information, which is so typical for students. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

5.Welcome to pile number 5. If you chose this pile, it seems you have a bit of everything going on at the moment. So what comes to your current karma, one thing is home. This could be about renovation or relocation or just home life in general. A part of your current karma is also status quo and obstacles. And a part of it is assistance and control. So it seems you also need to learn how to accept help from others. You seem to also need to focus more on your nourishment. It's not just about food, but also about what you consume online and through all media, what you feed yourself energetically, etc. You are taught about prioritizing self-care. And about judgment. It seems you are experiencing some level of enlightment at this time. Your wisdom is growing and you are starting to see some things more clearly. There is also a focus on increasing your knowledge, be it through school or taking classes perhaps. A very strong focus on relationships, including friends and colleagues. It's really about learning that you are not alone. There is a sense that you have your own team. A massive energy of unconditional and all-encompassing love being present in your life at this time, it's time for you to tap into it and to learn to feel such love with no judgment. You are learning about acceptance and serenity. And you are learning about life, about experiencing life, about living life. That life is about everything. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

[study-with-aura]

Friday, February 23, 2024

I am posting this on Saturday because H's mom needed to drop her off early since something came up on her end, so I never got the chance to post my Friday update. We had fun though. I still had my piano practice to do, so while I practiced, she worked on a few things that she needed to finish. On the other hand, she did say that my playing was beautiful, and I was elated to hear.

H also plays, but she goes back and forth between enjoying it and doing it because she wants to be done with it and her mom wants her to at least complete Level 10 and then if she wants to stop, she at least knows how to play extremely well in case she ever wants to come back to it in the future. I told H a while back when that was decided that I agreed with her Mom. It was good to at least have the knowledge as she didn't know what she would want in her future, so she plays often when she's in the mood and not often enough when she has no motivation. It works for her, so who am I to say anything?

I plan on doing ARCT and then I'll feel like I've mastered to where I want to be. I'm a completionist, and I actually do enjoy playing. It's why I'm trying to find more time. I want to finish by the time I finish my HS studies, but I also heard that I need ample time for the ARCT since it's a whole other level. If I pass my Level 9 exams, then I can start Level 10 and plan on completing that by the end 10th grade and then I would have two years to prepare for the ARCT exam. That's my plan anyway. My parents don't really care what I do as long I continue to enjoy playing. It's merely hard to find the time to practice! I can only do it by cutting short my supplemental study time, which I have done, but I don't really need a full 2-3 hours for that since I cut my reading down to only one extra book at a time instead of a supplemental book and a fun book along with assigned readings.

Am I doing too much? Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough at all.

It's time to practice again. I'll try to update about today (Saturday) a bit later.

Tasks Completed:

Geometry - Reviewed solving systems of equations graphically + reviewed equations of parallel and perpendicular lines + learned to find the distance between a point and a line + learned to find the shortest distance between two parallel lines + practice + honors work

Lit and Comp II - Reviewed Unit 16-18 vocabulary + read second part of chapter 26 of Emma by Jane Austen + read about understanding poetry + read about how to analyze poetry + read poems and marked figurative language identified + wrote a short poem using figurative language describing a scene from a photograph

Spanish 2 - Copied new vocabulary

Bible I - Read Joshua 17-18

World History - Watched lecture videos on what and why on the origins of WWI + started writing an essay describing how Balkan nationalism, entangling alliances, and militarism led to WWI (due Monday)

Biology with Lab - Finished my human impact presentation + presented to dad

PE/Health I - Read an article about resources for teen depression and stress

Foundations - Read the definition of resourcefulness + completed one minute creativity exercise + identified fallacies in stories and arguments

Piano - Practiced for two hours in one hour split sessions

Khan Academy - Completed World History Unit 6: Lesson 1 (parts 6-7) + completed High School Geometry Unit 6: Lesson 4 (parts 1-3) + Unit 6: Lesson 5 (some was assigned)

CLEP - None today

Duolingo - Studied for 15 minutes (Spanish, French, Chinese) + completed daily quests

Reading - Read pages 220-259 of My Dear Henry: A Jekyll & Hyde Remix by Kalynn Bayron and finished the book

Chores - Dusted my bedroom, my bathroom, and the study + laundered my bedding

Activities of the Day:

Personal Bible Study (Matthew 28)

Ballet

Pointe

Journal/Mindfulness

-

What I’m Grateful for Today:

I am grateful to have my friends over again tonight for a sleepover to get ready for our second to last cookie booth tomorrow.

Quote of the Day:

Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us.

-Wilma Rudolph

🎧Symphony Op. 11 No. 1 in D major (Overture; 'L'amant anonyme') 1. Allegro - Joseph Bologne, Chevalier de Saint-Georges

[tarot-by-e11e]

Hi. This is my feedback for your latest tarot game.

First of all, thank you for the reading. When you mentioned staying true to my core/principles, it reasonated with me right away. Ever since I strengthened focusing on myself and maintaining boundaries with other people, I've cut-off lots of people from my life. I also distanced from a lot more. I took the time to get to know myself more to understand who I am at a deeper level, and as result, I don't want to compromise with anything concerning about myself anymore. I'm someone whose choices don't always make sense to people, and some view me "weak" for it because I don't go for the "flashier" choices in life. I don't take it personally as it's not my own issue, but I'm stricter with not letting myself be swayed by other people whose principles I don't agree/support with. When you mentioned about me not considering it as something worth-praising, I was actually shocked. You were right in a way that I don't think sticking to your principles is something to be commended for, but something you stand by for - that's why they're called principles/core values. I'm also the type of person who puts great emphasis on principles both on myself and other people. It's not that I'm not proud of myself but to me this seems to be...common sense?

However, you were right with it not being a trait of a lot of people as I've personally witnessed that too. Since I'm kind of passionate with my principles, I also get burned out more often than other people and it's something I'm trying to work on more. I also have a day where I do an everything shower. I actually started doing yoga last month but I had to stop for a while because of personal reasons but I'm making more conscious decisions regarding helping myself relax better. I also like to read books or watch series to help me relax (and gain more knowledge).

Anyway, this was an insightful reading. Thanks once again <33

Hi dear,

I'm really grateful you took the time to giving me a thorough feedback.

The journey through learning discernment and how to establish healthy boundaries the hard way tends to be a series of painful trials and errors which can be rather lonely if you are surrounded by people who are brought into your life to be your lessons.

Being firm with one's core values and beliefs requires more strength and resilience that isn't really talked about often because it isn't a glamorous path, nor was it ever meant to be easy. Yet the peace of mind and inner tranquility you've learned to nurture and cultivate is a gift unlike any other.

Being unmoving and impervious to the insidious blatant and passive aggressive underhanded manipulations of modern day society is the type of resolute and perseverance we all strive to acquire but so few are truly able to sustain.

It's not pretty, to not conform and be dissuaded by the toxicity in one's environment because it tends to bear fruits that leads to one's isolation and community's ostracization.

You are made to be a villain in the eyes of those who choose to conform and yield their power. It's not your fault that you know your worth, nor is it something to disregard as "common sense" because let's face it, there's nothing "common" about "common sense." It's only common to those who share the same beliefs, values, and interests as you.

The unfortunate reality is, not everyone is willing enough to persevere and stay in their authenticity because misery loves company so much it spreads and infects its toxicity guise as "being part of a community."

So, it's okay to not feel okay able being yourself sometimes. Especially when it's proven tricky to find like-minded individuals within walking distance.

A typical suggestion would be to leave your current city/country and move into a city/country that resonates with your values. Do some research, and if you can't afford it right now, if you truly value your sanity, create an actionable plan to get yourself out there.

You already know that it's not easy, and yet it' so worth it.

Thank you again for letting me know how your reading resonated with you.

I wish you all the best and please never give up being you, regardless of external societal pressure.

Your sanity is not worth risking just to pay the price of their acceptance.

So take care always, okay?

[the-paris-of-people]

For those of you that thought Kimberly and Canaan were out of left field...

Oh boy, buckle up, because I am going to explain how Kimberly and Canaan make perfect sense together and the show has been building to them since their first interaction. I'm going to be examining their scenes together, their scenes in other romantic relationships and interactions with friends, and ultimately investigate the events of the finale, which culminated in them developing feelings for each other.

In the first scene where Kimberly and Canaan are introduced, Canaan takes advantage of Kimberly's naivete by telling her he has to work multiple jobs to support his family because his mother is addicted to crack. I personally love this scene because it reveals Kimberly's lack of exposure to POC and touches on her unconscious biases prior to coming to Essex, but it also establishes the fun, banter-y dynamic between Canaan and Kimberly from the get-go. Kimberly later stands up for Canaan and this choice was 100% deliberate on the writer's part for K/C relationship building. Christopher Meyer's background reactions (in a lot of these scenes) suggest he's in awe at the different side of Kimberly that's shown to him through this interaction. Kimberly may have that sweet, kind, girl-next-door vibe but she also has a backbone and is not afraid to stand up for herself. Moreover, Canaan's being in agreement of Kimberly's speech and their shared position at Sips together implies shared values that bind them together, at least in the affluent world of Essex.

A few episodes later, when she and Bela attend the comedy gala, Kimberly understands from Canaan that he and Lila are not being tipped well as caterers. She leaves them a large tip and announces to everyone that they are on financial aid, which elicits pity tips from the attending gala members. Canaan initially doesn't believe this will work, and he's so surprised and grateful to Kimberly for her shrewd assessment of the situation, he gives her a portion of their tips later. Again, Kimberly's resourceful advice surprises and compels Canaan, setting them up for a deeper connection down the road.

For those of you who don't regularly follow my blog, I'm also obsessed with Ben and Devi from Never Have I Ever (another MK show) and love that Ben acts to "save Devi from herself" and often is her voice of reason, pushing her to be a better person. Canaan acts as this voice of reason throughout the remainder of season 1 for Kimberly, reminding to focus on her Econ homework instead of obsessing over Nico because it's likely not worth it (a hard lesson Kimberly learns on her own), imploring her not to cheat because she cannot pull it off. The latter observation suggests that over the time period of working together, Canaan knows her, knows that she cannot cheat, knows that is the least discrete person in the world and she cannot pull it off (again, Canaan is right again) He even calls her cute during this conversation, yes he compares it to when Nemo gets mad at his Dad, but it's clear during this commentary that while he may be passing it off as a joke, he genuinely finds Kimberly attractive on some level.

There's another comment in this scene Canaan makes to Kimberly that sets them both up to be together. Canaan tells Kimberly he sees her with "more of a sweet boy" and describes a nerd. All we know about Canaan at this point in season 1 is that he's funny, sarcastic, DTF (with Whitney at this point), and kind, the "nerd" aspect of his personality hasn't come up - at least for now.

During season 2, Canaan and Kimberly embark upon parallel journeys to date a great person, but not the right person for them. We can argue Leighton goes through a similar journey in another post, but that's for another day. At the end of s1 and beginning of s2, Canaan dates Whitney (who btw I would die for, no Whitney slander in the comments please) and while the two are attracted to each other, have good conversation, and seem to get along, they seem to have different attitudes towards their family and academic goals. Canaan defends Whitney's mom to her for coming to make sure she was okay after the whole Coach Dalton (aka the most heinous man known to society) fiasco and has a much more clear plan about his career/future than Whitney while Whitney is still trying to navigate her nascent relationships with her mother and biochemistry. I want to make it clear that there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with Whitney trying to figure that out and she's amazing and deserves the best and 100% deserves all the love in the world, but it's clear from the Zoe/phone incident (although CANAAN hello you 100% should have told Whitney and not invited Zoe to the Kissmas party) that Canaan values being with someone who's completely secure with themselves in order to build a strong relationship. It's notable that when Canaan is reassuring Whitney about Zoe he calls her "A dream girl" rather than "MY dream girl" and that may be reading too much into it but I think the article choice was deliberate on the part of the writers. Also before Canaan asks Whitney to be his gf, he compliments Whitney that the study geek vibe on her is cute. Again, interesting considering how he thinks the perfect guy for Kimberly as a nerd because she is one ... and at the same time he is also attracted to them.

On the flip side, we have Kimberly who begins a little romance with Jackson. Jackson seems like a great, nice guy who really likes Kimberly, which is a refreshing break for my girl considering she had been through the ringer and back with Nico, losing her scholarship, and donating her eggs. However, yes she has this great, hot guy who's into her- the issue is, she's not into him and she feels they don't fully understand each other. Jackson initially doesn't participate in the food worker's strike even though it's near and dear to Kimberly's heart, she's incredibly passionate about social causes and is helping organize the movement as well! Once Kimberly explains she wants him to support her, he does, but to Kimberly, she shouldn't have to explain. She feels Jackson immediately should have understood how the strike was important to her- worker's rights are in her core belief system (see: her upbringing and her speech at Sips in the first episode), and she should have a partner who immediately is willing to join which again, why I think it's intentional that this episode highlighted that Canaan helped her with the strike and was her team member while Jackson did not. After a conversation with Lila and Canaan (in which Canaan seems VERY jealous, might I add), she realizes how much it bothers her how little she and Jackson have in common. She doesn't get his EDM/country playlists, his love of wrestling, and while Jackson is willing to learn about the things he cares about and doesn't think that it's a big deal, it still doesn't seem like it's fully resolved.

In the background of these relationships, Kimberly and Canaan are orbiting each other. They update each other about their lives at the coffeehouse, they complain about Lila getting drunk on power, they work together on the strike, Canaan is there to observe Kimberly being supportive and prepping Lila for her manager interview, all until their journeys converge in the final two episodes of the season.

When Kimberly learns that Canaan is getting an award from the econ department, she's so excited for him and encourages him to attend. Canaan, who initially wasn't go to, has all of these dormant feelings for Kimberly that have developed over the past year which come to a head when he realizes how grateful he is to her for being so excited and supportive for him. He nervously invites her to the econ banquet, but because he's calm, collected, Canaan and he knows she's dating Jackson, he passes it off as a back-up invite. At the banquet, Kimberly, who is of aware that Canaan is kind, funny, and handsome, discovers a different side to him and sees that he's also humble, intelligent, hard-working, and cares about his family deeply, which reflect all of Kimberly's own positive qualities and values. On a value level, she realizes they have more in common than Jackson and Kimberly. They've worked together the whole year, there's been a small flame flickering between them, and once they're finally in a more romantic context, it's the match that lights the fire. Once he and Kimberly have that conversation about Canaan's mom's Alzheimer's, which is sure to come up in the future if I know Mindy's shows, she realizes that her hot work friend is much deeper than she knew he was, and she's interested in him and wants to know more, enjoys and wants time with Canaan more than she wants with Jackson. I don't think that Kimberly broke up with Jackson because she realized she had feelings for Canaan. I think she broke up with him because she realized, upon spending time with Canaan, she didn't have feelings for Jackson. Meanwhile, Canaan enjoys Kimberly's fun energy and openness at the banquet- she constantly is talking about how much fun she's having and wants to know more about his life and his mom and even though she's not cool or chill or fun, she's so unapologetically herself and happy about the way she lives her life and conducts herself (even when she almost eats the flowers off Canaan's dessert) and Canaan's into it.

Throughout the entire series, the writers set Canaan and Kimberly to get together. They always got along, were good for each other, balanced each other out, have a great platonic chemistry, and needed to date other people to realize the qualities they valued in each other as future potential partners. I know a lot of people wanted a classic "slow burn" situation and I was a little disappointed they didn't do it with them, but upon reflection, I actually like the route the writers took. They dropped little hints that Kimberly and Canaan would get together, and when they finally saw each other in a new light, away from work and their friends, and got to know each other more deeply, they realized they wanted to explore something more. Honestly, it's super realistic to have that one event that puts your hot friend in a new light and to just go for it and date afterwards instead of dragging it out. Based on the very first episode though, and even the whole first season, it's obvious they were setting up some kind of conflict between Kimberly and Whitney over dual interest in Canaan so while I think the situation is shitty and low-key devastates me, it was ALWAYS bound to happen and didn't just "come out of nowhere." Anyway, I urge you to rewatch the series and watch Canaan and Kimberly's interactions closely, it surprises me that there was so much uproar over them getting together when although not completely explicit, it was built into their arcs in s1 and s2.

[ughmyreality]

Thoughts on S3 E3

(SPOILERS ahead)

There might be positives, there will be negatives, so please be forewarned that I am not going to solely praise the show. Also, it needs not be mentioned, I am but a single negative person on the internet talking about a fictional story. We are all not going to agree. With that said, let’s move on.

Episode 3-

That opening scene… I know that people are going to swoon and grovel acting like this is the moment that Colin fell for Penelope. But this is just a glorified wet dream. He feels absolutely nothing for her. Colin is getting on my nerves being so driven by sex. Some of the longest scenes we have of him so far is either flirting or having sex with other women. Honestly at this moment I’m tired of Colin already. He has no personality.

Now Colin doesn’t even want to claim her as his friend but rather a good acquaintance. Interesting.

I love that the queen is still at Lady Danbury’s side. It’s nice to see a long lasting friendship in the show for once.

This interaction with Eloise and Penelope might have well not been included. That did nothing for the storyline. It wouldn’t be so much of a problem if there was time for it but we’re on episode 3 and we are no closer to any significant character development. 

With that said, I don’t know why they’re breaking this up into two parts. Fans have already been pointing out the blatant favoritism Polin has but they aren’t helping disprove it by making them the first season with two parts. Also with how overboard they went with promoting it. I think it was unnecessary and if anything it just caused more negative attention to the ship. Bridgerton is already wildly popular, there was no need to go that crazy with promotions. I feel like there wasn’t even this much for the first season. Bridgerton isn’t a show just getting off the ground.

I’m also tired of the excuse of “well, read the books”. Because the books are irrelevant. What's the point of making a show if I supposably need to read the books to understand it? At that point they might as well stop the show entirely. 

Colin is making me sick. They’ve already been in a scandal for being around each other yet he thinks it’s a good idea to seek her out. What a brilliant idea. The audacity to ask why she doesn’t want to continue the lessons. Isn’t it obvious! Let’s be real, if we didn’t know that polin was endgame, what could Penelope do. She’s practically the lowest tier of society, made even worse with the Colin situation. Even if by some miracle she managed to learn to flirt, who exactly would she flirt with. It appears that absolutely no one wants her.

I finally agree with something Penelope is doing. Colin has been nothing but bad for her. They need to stop talking to each other. But for whatever reason he looks shocked/disappointed. He can run off on his family’s dime for months at a time but the second it’s Penelope calling the shots he has the nerve to feel some sort of way.

Penelope desperately needs to shut her mouth! It’s infuriating! She just said that she was going to find a corner to hide in but of course miss attention seeker can’t stay hidden for too long. I wish she would stop talking and let this drama deescalate. I also feel like the pacing of this is kind of weird. From Colin coming back to Penelope staying in her house, I’m confused about how much time has passed between seasons and even between episodes.

I’m trying hard to be interested in the Lord Kent storyline but I just don’t care. 

Not Penelope calling the party dull. She needs to be grateful they even let her through the door. I don’t see how this party is any different than the countless other ones she’s attended. 

A man falling for you only after you level up and move on isn’t the flex Polin shippers think it is. She’s liked Colin for years upon years but the moment she dares to speak to someone else the camera cuts to Colin looking over at her with that same facial expression. I wish Luke would show some more emotion in his face. I can hardly tell when he’s supposed to be jealous vs when he’s fine.

“Your lessons worked”. They had about one or two “lessons” that were probably less than 30 minutes. I hardly consider what happened with Lord Debling to be the cause of Penelope’s lessons. Penelope really didn’t do much. He was the one to approach her, not the other way around. She still worries a lot about what other people think of her.

For a season that was proclaimed to be so “spicy” we have a scene in episode 3 of Penelope licking frosting… how exciting. 

What is with this camera angle? I get that it’s a stressful situation trying to stop a hot air balloon but the shakiness looks oddly unintentional. 

Instead of getting out of the line of fire, Penelope decides to run straight ahead. Girl, go left or right!

Do you think Markus kinda looks like Karamo from queer eye?

A cute interaction between Markus and Violet! 

Where is this attraction coming from? Nothing has truly changed. Penelope still act the same insufferable way. The only thing that I can think of to make Colin do a 180 is either her physical appearance or underlying jealousy. Not jealousy because he wants her but more so that no one else can have her.

I feel like these episodes are drawn out. Too many small plots but so little actually happens in them. At least, I’ve made it to the end of episode 3.

[zombiesun]

I don't understand how manifestation works but desperately want to manifest a win. Anything to not feel the same thing I have felt time and time again - that I failed, that I made the wrong decision. I am so used to regret that I feel like a zombie now. How to still want things knowing you fucked up innumerable times and will possibly fuck up again. How to not stand in the way of myself

your mentality embraces loss as your eternal state of being. once you allow yourself to believe that life is somehow bearable - even with all of it's problems - you will start to see change. we learn the most from our fuck ups so take your mistakes as the lessons they are instead of proof of a failed life.

you're writing the prologue to your own defeat. try to be on your own side for once, be grateful for the good. list ten good things about the day every night for a month and see how your mindset changes. right now, you just want to be your own problem because it's easier than accepting that life might in fact - have some good parts to it - it's just not to the level your dreams demand.

it'll be okay. seriously. but you need to stop writing poetry about how much you suck and start putting yourself in the mindset and gratefulness of a guy who is happy with their own lived experience. it's not easy, but it will make life easier.

[gacmediadaily]

Danica McKellar has taken a step away from Los Angeles, but not her career.

The "Wonder Years" star moved to Tennessee a year ago, and the change of scenery has been refreshing. 

"Tennessee is a total quality of life improvement. It’s gorgeous, I love the seasons," McKellar told Fox News Digital. 

Danica McKellar told Fox News Digital her move to Tennessee is "a total quality of life improvement." (Astrida Valigorsky/Getty Images)

"Maybe it’s some sort of honeymoon period. I’ve been there about a year now, but I love all the seasons."

McKellar has also continued her journey with faith, a newer addition to her life that coincided with her move to Tennessee.

"I would not say I’ve embraced religion so much as relationship. I’ve found my faith, and it’s been an amazing life changer," she said. "I have this sense that everything’s going to be fine in a way that I never really had before."

McKellar said her newfound faith has been "an amazing life changer." (Nathan Congleton/NBC via Getty Images)

"I am so grateful to Candace Cameron Bure for bringing me into this era of my life. She really had a lot to do with it," McKellar said. "Also my dad. He’s been a believer for a long time.

"It’s just been a beautiful, beautiful gift, and it feels so good, and I want everyone to have that feeling." 

McKellar’s also continuing her work in TV and film.

"I am just as busy in Tennessee as I was in Los Angeles because so much of everything that I do is virtual, online, preparing for projects," she explained. "I shoot my movies mostly in Canada. But I like to say that my view out the window is a lot prettier. And when I have to drive some place, it’s just a gorgeous drive."

The 48-year-old’s latest project, "Swing into Romance," premieres Saturday on Great American Family and gave her a chance to hit the dance floor again after appearing on season 18 of "Dancing with the Stars."

"‘Swing into Romance’ has three full-on ‘Dancing with the Stars’-level swing jive routines. It’s no joke," McKellar shared. 

"I rehearsed a ton. I took a lot of ice baths, also reminiscent of my time on ‘Dancing with the Stars.’ Something I learned, if you don’t want to hurt, then you take an ice bath after you dance. It’s unpleasant but it’s worth it."

Danica McKellar placed sixth during her season of "Dancing with the Stars" with partner Val Chmerkovskiy. (Adam Taylor/Disney General Entertainment Content via Getty Images)

McKellar was partnered with "DWTS" pro Val Chmerkovskiy and finished in sixth place during her season. The experience got her hooked on dance, and she said she "kept taking lessons after that because I just loved it so much."

The actress was able to discuss the movie thanks to an interim agreement through SAG-AFTRA, the actors' union still on strike, and the production company that produced "Swing into Romance."

"It's so great because I've been dying to talk about it," McKellar said. "I'm so grateful to Fran Drescher, our SAG-AFTRA president, for making these interim agreements possible.

"I’ve heard her say these interim agreements are part of her strategy for getting the big networks on board, so I’m so excited that me promoting my movie actually supports her efforts, and I’m really praying for a quick resolution at this point. I know it’s been a long time, I know a lot of people are out of work, and I’m really hopeful and I’m so grateful for all her efforts."

The movie also stars "DWTS" pro Gleb Savchenko, who is partnered with Oscar winner Mira Sorvino on the current season, and McKellar dropped by this week’s taping to cheer them on. 

"'Dancing With the Stars' is one of the craziest, most amazing experiences I’ve ever had. And I haven’t been back here in years. It’s really exciting to be back. I cannot wait to see everyone dance," she said.

"But that all prepared me for working with Gleb. And a few times, he said, ‘Hey I have to thank Val for preparing you so well because you still got it.’"

Savcehnko, in his first acting role, plays the ex-fiancé and ex-dance partner of McKellar’s character, and the two worked closely to prepare each other for the movie.

"I have to say, this was his first acting job, and he did amazing," McKellar said. "It was really fun because I got to coach him in acting. So, he was coaching me in dance, and I was coaching him in acting, and you’d never know it was his first movie. He did a fantastic job playing my ex-fiancé and ex-dance partner, and I can’t wait for you guys to see the movie."

Savchenko told Fox News Digital his character was "this Russian superhero in dance" and joked that, in his scenes, he has a "Russian ‘Terminator’ accent," a nod to his actual Russian roots. 

"It was incredible," he added. "I enjoyed every moment, every day, being on set. I came on set even when they were not my days to shoot just to learn. I was behind the scenes, I had earphones on just to listen and see the monitor, what they were doing how they were acting. It was almost like this month of an acting job was an acting boot camp for me.

"But, at the same time, I had a chance to train Danica and dance with her. And we had a lot of fun doing this, and she is so into dance."

"Swing into Romance" premieres on Great American Family Saturday, Oct. 7.

[shadowealth]

are you a linguist or etymologist? biologist? your posts are so fascinating and it seems like you have a wild amount of background knowledge, the way you connect all these seemingly disparate concepts with such detail. i especially love the connections you draw between PCOS and pearls. there’s something so intrinsic about eating and working with plants that have the visual appearance of oocytes/string of pearls; since quitting BC and trying to manage my PCOS with whole food/herbs/mindful practice, some of my greatest plant allies have been red raspberry (all her parts), barberry (berberine), and mugwort, as well as eating a lot of eggs.

once i developed a basic level of comfort and familiarity working with plants, i started noticing what “called out” to me as i walked in the woods, plants that would seem to stand out and appear to me over and over, and every single time i’d go home and research them i would find a connection with fertility, ovulation, or PCOS. i was camping once for a few days and started drinking yarrow and red clover tea because they were growing everywhere around where i set up, and i got my period a few days into the trip. it was my very first painless period, and since then i’ve been using yarrow regularly for menstrual pain, and red clover to help my cervical mucus production. the first few times this kind of thing happened to me, it blew my mind, and while it still never ceases to amaze me, i’ve pretty much come to expect it at this point. i’ve only met one other woman, also a fertility awareness practitioner and womb healer, who saw these kinds of connections and understood them to be legitimate and intrinsic. so i really love reading the connections you make and i feel so seen in your ability to make them. it’s really a gift, not in the sense of “i’m so gifted,” but in the sense of being a gift given to me by the circumstances of my life, including PCOS and including the descent into hell that modern gynecological “solutions” turned out to be for me. a gift i am able to receive only as a result of having walked the path of pain and suffering that drove me to finally take things into my own hands and tune into herbalism and body literacy.

so, i’m curious, if you feel comfortable answering, how did you come to think like this (i call it “mycelial thinking”), to make connections the way you do? it seems exceedingly rare and it’s incredibly refreshing. i’d love to hear about your source material, whether that’s life experiences, formal study, informal study, simple observation, etc. your words and thought processes on this blog are really something to behold, and i’m so grateful to have found them and to bear witness. <3

Hola chica

I consider myself a bootleg biologist. I have always been a decent writer. As a young child, I read the dictionary and chose words that I liked and would break them down in my mind. My parents called me Ms. Webster🕷️🕸️👩🏾‍💻 (after the dictionary) && still do til this day. I’ve always had my own way, but it wasn’t until my 9th & 11th grade English teachers + the word weaving of a very TRILL(ium) Oracle on Twitter that I began to learn & trust where my gnosis (MY NOSE, SIS !👃🏾) was taking me this entire time.

I am called::cauled by plants && that began as a teen. My mind is able to highlight data gathered thru various means::memes::memories. It could be as simple as a certain verse in a song & I observe that a plant really enjoys that song. It then takes my hand & leads me on a whole trip. From that trip, I aim and practice removing myself enough to tell the story that Data (Deity) wants told.

What’s peculiar about PCOS, as much as it is a curse, I find it to be a strange blessing (second chance). I was discussing it with another person I found on here @themadsorceressgrimoires. She attributes PCOS with Saturn (as do I, through the sign Libra in which Saturn is amiable with). The Master of Lessons.

Your circumstance (PCOS) has allowed you and others the opportunity (no choice) but to reconnect with the #outdoze in a way that’s tailored to you in a time%space where people’s lives are curated algorithmically. In a time%space where people can’t even hear the Voice of God no more. There are very few real experiences left…

The hypersensitivity that PCOS provides is a force that *makes* the ailed tune in. 📡

It is through your walk that you can see the horrors of gynecology, which can lead you (as it did me) to unearth so many other things that have been going on. From one connection to another, it’s all rooted in a genuine attempt to simply figure out what’s going on with you. And what you unearth heals not only yourself, but can also save the youth.

Despite the hormonal disorder, you and others who have taken the time to learn are being prepared to teach the young about the IMPORTANCE of their bodies, bc you have experienced the other side of that. Now, order is being restored through what looks (and feels) like a curse. Now, girls will know that it all begins and ends with their bodies.

Much like the pearl, an almost indestructible drop of beauty created by a wound.

Pain (not sadomasochism) tends to bring the sincerity (sense-airity) out of a person. And that’s what calls the plants to you.

Thank you for this message! Feel free to DM me

[proserpinawakesup]

Most important lesson learned in my 20s

The current and recurring discussions around nepotism made me realize that there is a big part missing in this conversation. And that is, that everybody perceives themselves as the underdog! Regardless their actual or perceived privileges. To me, coming out of my 20s, this has been the most important lesson learned so far. And failing to realize this earlier, was the reason why I often failed on a personal level to connect with other people and on a professional level, to be persuasive.

Truth is we have more opportunities than ever. So why are be obsessed with the underdog mentality? Is it because we think we deserve more? Are we romanticizing the struggle?

It stems from everybody being more aware of their flaws and weaknesses, that are holding them back, than they are of their strengths. But on others, we are more aware of their strengths and advantages in life. That’s why we can be so supportive to  friends for example, because we see their strengths more clearly than they themselves, but fail to be kind to ourselves. This realization, about how everybody sees themselves as the underdog, is important for two reasons.

To start with ourselves and be aware of our gifts, talents and strengths. Pay more attention to these and give them more energy, than the crooked parts of ourselves. We are so easy to focus on our weaknesses, while we would come so much further in life and be so much happier if we focus on our strengths. By refocusing on our strengths and overall advantages,  we can develop a better feeling of gratitude for the cards that were handed to us in life. Above will also help you to hold yourself accountable for the advantages you have over other people. By acknowledging this, you will be able to escape the victimhood mentality and cultivate a habit of gratefulness for the randomness of life (something some people call God and others luck).

In relation to this, once we realize that most people feel like the underdog, you will be able to better relate to them. The recent political correct movement movement has alienated a lot of people. It’s hard for a poor white person to hear that they have white privilege when they never felt privileged. Same for wealthy people when they themselves perceive their upbringing as tough, albeit in a different way. And guess what? It’s totally legitimate to feel like this. Your struggle as a poor white person, doesn't make it less of a struggle because you are white. Your struggle as a wealthy person doesn't make it less of a struggle because you are wealthy. Putting people in a position of privilege, when they perceive themselves as the underdog, will emotional alienate them! We ourselves are the only people we need to keep accountable. Be more compassionate about other peoples struggles and realize that the human experience is universal. And approach others with compassion to they perceived struggles. 

Once you realize these two things, the way you relate to people will change and you will be better able to cooperate and pursue people. You be more compassionate with others and connect with them in a deeper way. Which is ultimately the reason why I wrote this blog post.

How do you perceive your own privilege?

[73647e]

hey it's piano anon here to rant about life 😔 (it is all piano related though)

Just my brain short circuited lmao it's actually been more than 10 years I've been doing piano.

I hate playing piano so much I honestly can't imagine how you enjoy it. I mean, it's good you enjoy it, but it's been constant misery for me for as long as I can remember. When I was little I would fight with my parents about it nearly every day and now I force myself to practice but I hate it so much. Pretty much the only reason I can force myself is that I got permission to practice in a local church, so it's a way to get out of the house.

I have to be good at it because I'm pressured into doing the exams every year and I have to pass them. But I would be way better if I actually liked playing. I'm basically "bare minimum for my level" good but I'm in level 9 now :/ (I know that means nothing lol since there's so many different level systems but. trust me on this one)

My teacher is. complicated. She's the best teacher in the area but she's not good at being nice to her students lol. She would routinely make me cry until I stopped being capable of crying (which. 😬😬). I still want to cry tho

My older brother picked piano to learn when he was little and when I was old enough to have basic motor skills my mom signed me up too. Notice: my brother got to pick, I did not. My parents like to laugh how they had to bribe 3-year-old me to sit down and practice but basically that they forced me to play it because it's my mom's favorite instrument and also my brother picked it.

My brother is actually really good. Because he loves it. When he was 10 and I was 8 he played Wedding Day at Troldhaugen (and won international prizes for it) and I remember mostly being secretly upset about it because I wanted to be able to play it (and feeling really bad about being kind of jealous). (Whenever I hear that piece even now I nearly have a heart attack.) I tried so hard to like piano so many times over the years, but I just hate playing it. I've got nothing against other people playing it, I like quite a lot of piano music (except the overplayed ones lmao, I hate fur elise).

And like obviously the worst parts are learning new stuff and practicing but I hate performing too. I'm shaking the whole time and have to think about not only the million different things to play well but also like my facial expressions and stuff and like all the examiners and my teacher say i'm very Musical but piano does Not come naturally to me. I've improved at sight reading lately but my brain works in melodies, not chords and two separate hands and stuff. And I can't just learn how to make my brain work like that.

When I was 9 we played recorder at school. It's usually kind of an infamous childhood experience but I LOVED it. Long story short I was really good at it and loved it and since then I've badly wanted to play a woodwind. Flute specifically. But my mom makes fun of (pretty viciously) literally every other musician. Strings, because it's "squeaky". Brass, because it's "goofy". Drums, because she thinks they have dumb jobs. etc, etc. She's like that about everything though. I used to do piano competitions (my brother still does) and like everyone is a piano player there but 90% of the kids there are asian (we're not) and she's extremely racist about it and i'm just there trying to be grateful that at least she's not saying stuff like that in english.

Last year I tried to learn guitar. At zero cost to my parents. I found some pretty good free online lessons and used my dad's old guitar. Which was absolutely huge on me. I had to bend over it weirdly to reach the strings and it was so big on me it was hard to stretch my fingers to the chords lol. I tried to hide what I was doing but it's kind of hard to hide a whole large guitar. My dad was fine with it initially but my mom got really mad at me for wasting time and that I should be focusing on school and stuff and then my dad got mad at me too. I haven't touched it since.

If my parents would actually support it I'd definitely ask to try flute since I've wanted to for the last 4 years BUT not only would they probably not let me, if it didn't go well they would never let me do anything again and constantly use it against me. Also they would probably make me drop piano to do it (which yes i hate it buuuut I love music and piano is all I have since they also made me stop the singing lessons I was allowed to take for like 1 month and I've also been doing it forever so I'm kind of scared to lose it. if that makes sense.)

(disclaimer by the way. I am aware my writing tone in this whole thing is awful but I'm too tired to go edit it I'm so sorry )

hey piano anon!

from what you’ve said, you’re an amazing pianist and i am thoroughly impressed. i don’t perform or have fancy levels to categorize my playing, i just play for myself most of the time, and that’s enough.

but from what you’ve said, i don’t think you hate piano, but that you hate the environment in which you were raised with piano. first off, your mom kinda sucks, ngl. like i don’t like her. any parent that tells their kid that their hobby or experimentation (like your guitar playing, keep it up btw!) is useless, futile, a waste of time etc., just sucks all around. not to mention the stuff you said about the racism. rancid! but i think the competitive and rigid environment that you grew up in with your brother is the reason why you don’t like piano. from what you’ve told me anon, these issues run deeper than, “i hate piano”, and i would advise doing some reflecting and getting some psychiatric help if it’s available. it’s nice to talk to someone about stuff like this rather than deflecting it with not like piano.

as for your other musical forays, i say keep them up to the best of your ability! keep practicing that guitar, and maybe even ask your dad for help with it if it’s possible! i actually play flute as well, so i was pleasantly surprised to see that you’re attached to that specific woodwind! being a flutist is the music world equivalent of being a horse girl, and it’s absolutely wonderful. i’ve been playing flute since 5th grade, and out of all the instruments i know, it’s been the easiest to master once you get a feel for the technique. perhaps your church has someone who knows how to play and wouldn’t mind showing you some stuff?

anyway, keep everything musical up! always! music is one of the ways that people are able to stay sane, and it saddens me whenever someone violently doesn’t like one aspect of it, for whatever reason. take care anon! and you’re welcome to talk about piano with me literally anytime!

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Leaf here again, same TWs (financial abuse mostly) and ableism tw

Hello I'm back already because today was a lot.. Right now I feel like venting mostly, it's just that a lot has happened

So basically I had a rough week already and since I'm autistic I need to have more down time than others, and I Didn't have it. Many unexpected things piling up and I got so little sleep.

My mom ended up giving me a check that covered 2 classes and I'm not surprized because they intentionally play on my panic (I had anticipated that the way they told me was on purpose to make me panic). So it's not great but I got that covered at least.

I also had some money that my grandma gave me but it didn't cover much either because these classes are extremely expensive (I'm still really grateful however). When I paid for the classes I told them to remove my father's email address, they won't send him the bills or the planned classes anymore. To be honest I don't know if this was a good choice because everything is so hard to anticipate, but they send me the documents so it should be fine.

Then I went to my driving lesson and it was awful? I didn't have enough time to prepare because like I said the week was rough so I was in pain, I coudln't mask so I drove poorly and my teacher kept criticizing me every 2 seconds. To summarize I've experienced this type of behavior since forever because I'm disabled and people refuse to believe that I'm trying.

So I ended up crying when we talked about my progress during that specific class at the end, and it was really uncomfortable. It's retraumatizing and I really hate it because I could tell I was getting better, even today because messing up is part of the process.

Then I came back and learned my other grandma was going to come over, so it was a good opportunity to ask her for hel. Even though it worked out in the end, it was such a pain to just talk to her alone. I had to ask my mom twice and be super firm just so we would be alone together.

My grandma said that they had planned to give me a lot of money after I got my driver's licence, but since I need it now and I'm responsible they already gave me everything. It's a relief although I'm not sure if it will cover everything, but I will try to leave that on the side for now because it's given me so much anxiety lately.

I suppose I'm back to the "normal" window, so things are "okay". Basically if I work my ass off and do the most people pleasing i can (since my parents disgust me and i dont like to lie), then things stay at a doable level. I suspect that my parents are doing it on purpose too, because if they were to go all out then they would lose their good image. I use that to my advantage by pretending I still believe in it and care about them - though they seem to suspect I don't believe any of it, but if they can pretend we're a great family, then I can too.

To be honest it's a bit hard to talk about this because I feel like people will call me a liar for needing help when I genuinely never know which options I have with my parents. They can always choose to have a random power trip but sometimes they do give me crumbs. That makes me afraid of being misunderstood because I do come from a "comfortable" background, but my quality of life is less than ideal. Even if they weren't abusive, there's more than meets the eye - my dad gets paid well, but he's a factory worker who didn't pass high school. If he were to get fired (which will happen eventually), he wouldn't have the same salary anymore.

Hi Leaf,

I'm so sorry about what's been going on. It sounds like you've been going through a lot recently, not only with paying for classes but also issues with your driving lesson. It makes sense how being paid or not can be a significant source of anxiety.

I wish your driving instructor could be more understanding of what you've been going through, and that they could be more mindful of how critiquing someone constantly can affect someone, as well as more constructive and compassionate ways to offer suggestions or corrections. I can understand how this experiencing was retraumatizing for you.

I can see how this might be hard to talk about. Please remember that you know yourself best and it's not other people's place to tell you what your needs are. Whatever needs you do have are valid and deserve to be respected and met. Obviously internalizing this is easier said than done especially with experiences like yours where you're made to feel afraid of being misunderstood and such.

I hope that you can find healing and begin to process everything you've been going through in a healthy way, hopefully with the guidance and mediation of a mental health professional such as a therapist, if that is an option for you.

If anyone else has any comments or suggestions feel free to add on. Otherwise I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[asylumslutt]

been hiding under a mossy little rock, killing the dead and rotten parts of me. getting rid of the demons i’ve been hiding within myself for eternity. connecting with nature and realizing how beautiful my chaotic life is. connecting with my guides and ancestors and learning about my life path and past lives. healing deep wounds and kissing my heart, body and soul while telling her “it’ll be okay.” everyday i focus on the celestial parts of life and i drink up the energy from my spirit guides i become this greater, powerful being that i’ve been searching for since i was a little one. been busy transforming into the goddess and faerie and i’ve always been. learning to love myself and care for my soul and the body i get to have has been such a blessing and beautiful experience.

i’m excited for the warm weather so i can stick my feet in the dirt and ground myself, just be in tune with the frequencies of our planet. i want to feel the warm suns energy cleanse the pains through my veins and my soul from our past winter, and gracefully dance into spring and summer. i feel so connected with nature and myself. it’s such an incredible feeling that cannot be described, only experienced. this feeling i speak about isn’t just sitting in the sun and feeling happy, no it’s much deeper than that. this is what most people will see as they can only see the surface level, but once your in tune and connected you understand that this feeling is real and true. it’s a becoming of something that is vastly different for everybody but at the same time exactly the same. some of you, most of you won’t understand half of what i’m saying but for those who do, keep on your paths and stay true to you and never stop loving yourself.

i’m so grateful for the path life has taken me on, it was and still is such a wild ride but it’s been so much fun. i love being myself and getting to experience my life through my eyes. i’ve seen a lot of intense, dark moments and emotions from myself and others but all of that has only taught me the greatest lessons in life. i am so blessed i am able to have to capacity to understand this and know that these lessons will only help myself in the future. healing has become such a powerful and important part of my daily existence.