#But in my head it would be both very gender of me and a perfect sensory experience since I’d have to weight it a little so it fell correctl

[magpiesbones]

accidentally made a character design that fucks so hard I now must fight the urge to draft a pattern and sew it

[inbabylontheywept]

i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.

adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.

right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.

it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.

still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.

i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.

i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.

so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.

coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."

and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.

still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.

i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.

so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went

...oh.

and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.

so i did.

i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.

i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.

it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:

*ptooie.* "that all you got?"

i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!

but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.

my coach did not.

i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.

"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"

and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said

"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."

which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.

and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.

fine.

but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.

and then he left.

and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."

but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.

and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.

he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.

and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.

[bindeds]

[ BITE ME. ] : 2.2k words. ☆ ⌜ALASTOR X GENDER NEUTRAL READER. ⌟ — alastor catches you with bram stoker’s dracula and decides he can’t let you go until he gets to the bottom of your desires.

#tags. biting, blood, blood sucking, alastor with vampire teeth, reference to his cannibalism, but he doesn’t actually eat you, explicit consent, suggestive

a/n. sorry guys, this was wayyy too perfect of a chance realizing that alastor’s a cannibal. i hope you enjoyed this as much as i did! also, i’m finally starting a taglist! lmk which characters you wanna be tagged for ;>

meanwhile ... vampire lucifer version! BITE ME : AL’S VER PART 2 IS OUT !!!

masterlist. request something! :>

“I can’t wait for us to hang out oh, this is going to be so fun!”

You smiled right back at Charlie, though not quite able to return the ray of light she’d been emitting with her own.

“Charlie dear!”

You both looked over your shoulder to see Alastor approaching with his hands neatly poised behind his back.

“Where on earth are you going at this time with such dreadful skies?” Alastor’s head poked out between Charlie and yourself. He pressed the side of his hand to his brow as he squinted at the view outside.

You and Charlie were standing at the grand entrance of the hotel, straw-woven basket in hand.

The red skies of hell had looked just a few shades darker than they usually were and the gravel’s petrichor smell had started to rise in the streets.

Charlie had taken the pleasure of letting Alastor know that you and her would be going on a picnic date. She had taken extra care in watching the weather forecast yesterday to make sure the weather would only be windy, at most drizzly for today, which, judging by her ear-to-ear grin, was right up her alley.

Alastor’s eyes zipped down to your hand, still leaning in front with his hand retracted. “What’s that in your hand, darling?”

“Oh,” you frowned, holding up the book by instinct. “Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I’m trying to get into the classics and Charlie said to bring a book.”

“Dracula,” Alastor’s voice and tone darkened, and the static scratches of radio surrounded the three of you as his grin grew taller. “Such a classic indeed.”

Alastor finally took a step back from the both of you, but that didn’t warrant both of you enough of a reason to continue on your way just yet—your attention as well as Charlie’s was as good as trapped in Alastor’s hands.

“Charlie, may I borrow your friend for a moment?”

“Alastor! Right now, really?” She urged in gritted teeth.

“My sincerest apologies Charlie, I’ve just remembered some important matters we had agreed to settle the very moment we were free.” Alastor placed a hand to his abdomen before he gave a slight bow.

“We won’t be long,” he drawled in a prodding tone.

“What?” You barked after he let you into his quarters first before shutting the door behind him.

Alastor’s eyes traced your shoulders, your arms—then seemed to set up camp at your hands.

Your grip on your book tightened.

“I see you’re dedicated to your little outing with Charlie, hm?” Alastor circled you as he looked over your shoulder. He twirled around to the other shoulder while he clicked his stick to the ground to use as an axis.

The fire sputtered softly in the background. The renovations done to the hotel had certainly been setting into your skin now—the cover of your poor book had become damp with your sweat. The blaring reds of Alastor’s grand room had somehow been less overwhelming to look at than the man himself.

Your eyes zipped over to his chest, shit, why—how did you get here? Though your eye sockets had been yanking you to look his way anyway, your eyelids gave the threat of a blink that for some reason entailed certain death.

A spindly finger crept its way under your chin and tilted your head up. Your gaze naturally fell to his eyes, so narrow and sharp as they could’ve pierced into your own, but no—instead, his gaze took a step into yours. Ever the polite gentleman, letting you know he was letting himself in as your blinking flickered.

“My eyes are up here, darling,” Alastor buzzed in a gravelly voice that dug below the growling radio static.

You gulped, and it seemed that that had been enough for Alastor to release your chin. “Though I suspect it’s not the outing you’re excited about …”

“Alastor, we can talk about this later—”

“Oh, but we haven’t talked about us at all—not since the fall of Charlie’s hotel,” Alastor grinned but gave a pouting tone.

Right.

You had panicked the moment Alastor left for longer than he should have. When you were the only one who clearly didn’t hate him but didn’t hug him upon his return, he took it upon himself to ask about your attitude towards him. You confessed to having thought about him a little more than the rest of the crew, thinking you would be ripping the bandaid off when he laughs at your face and tells you he doesn’t like wasting his time on such sentiments—but lo and behold, he twirled you around to an old jazz song you couldn’t recognize and said—

“Why, I would be ridding myself of the one person who happens to be a pleasure to be around! Don’t be so harsh on yourself my dear, you’re quite a beauty to be relished, even if I am no such person for the job.”

Alastor’s fingers crawled up to his lips as they tapped in a rippling motion.

“Though, it does make me inclined to try …”

So there you were.

The past few days have been more than bearable with this subtle change as you would have expected with someone who wasn’t known to be into romantics. And Alastor had made it clear that you two were only exclusive without a label—but it seemed the current moment might be testing that statement’s validity.

“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you reasoned as you held the book to your chest with the title facing him.

Alastor’s eyes dropped back down to your book and up to you again as he shut his eyes.

“And you’re doing just a splendid job, my treasure. Letting me set the pace. But right now, I must admit … it’s rather difficult for me to see you reading quite possibly the most popular piece of fiction on vampires,” Alastor held back a sigh through his explanation, but it slipped between his theatrics nonetheless. “You do know I’m a cannibal, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” you insisted, and for some reason your voice dropped to a lower register as you frowned.

Your gaze had been drawn right back to Alastor’s prying own like a compass needle to the earth’s core—it wavered, but never wandered long.

“Then you should know it’s only natural for me to yearn for your taste,” Alastor hummed. “If only I had known you were enamored by such notions sooner …”

“What does it matter now? Right when I’m supposed to head out with Charlie too …”

“Is it really what you wish to do?” Alastor questioned with a cocked brow. “Because if so …” he stepped aside and showed you the door with his hand motioned towards it. “I will not stop you, my sweet.”

In your head, you prepared for your body to move—but you made one pathetic excuse for a step before you fell ice cold. Your head spun and whirred with the expectation of movement—but your body tensed with the commands your muscles refused to follow; like there had been a mix of commands in which your brain may have known what was right but the very blood that supplied your body remained loyal to the desires pounding in your rib cage.

“Well?”

Alastor stood rooted to his spot, and though his grin had turned into a tamed smile, you knew that underneath his closed eyes he’d been brimming for your answer.

“What … What are you going to do?” You asked innocently. There were a number of things already stirring in your head about your fate in the next ten minutes or so, but Alastor’s hell-renowned status had been built escaping the grasps of others’ expectations.

“What would you like me to do my dear?” He tilted his head at an unnatural angle as his sharp eyes narrowed at you once more, the static noise crackling much like the fire had—only this sound panted and prodded in your ear, demanding to be known.

“No, this is not how this works, Al,” you sterned as much as you could with the tremble in your voice. “You tell me exactly what you have in mind, then I will tell you what I think.”

“Hmmph,” Alastor cooed. “How clever.”

He made his way over to you, and your body reacted quicker than your mind as your steps matched his, only they brought you backwards while he stalked forward.

He leaned into your ear. “I’d like to know what you taste like, dear.”

You attempted to steel yourself as a shiver traveled from your arms to your spine. Alastor’s breath might have been warm but the shiver had shedded off half your warmth and preserved the rest on your cheeks.

He returned to his original position right in front of you, keeping your flickering gaze locked on his, even if his own hadn’t been half as loyal when they switched between your neck and the former.

“Not to worry. I won’t hurt you any more than I have to. I find those fangs that vampires possess quite appealing,” he commented. “So what do you say, darling?”

You nodded. You didn’t mean to.

But by this time your throat, your muscles, the very same ones tensed with the promise of Alastor’s tongue on your skin—they had been pulling the strings because you knew you wouldn’t do it all by yourself, acting so surprised by the things you’re saying.

“Please,” you whispered as you bit your lip. Now’s no time to be praying.

“I want you to bite me.”

Unless it’s to the very demon before you.

“Lovely.”

His hand slipped to your waist and steered you to the right and towards the edge of his bed.

You fell back, your book finally escaped your grasp and Alastor’s shadow casted over you completely.

He adjusted his tie as he set down his microphone, chin held high with a half-lidded glance at your book that laid askew on his bed. He picked it up and flipped it back to front briefly before setting it down on his bedside table like he’d been framing a picture.

“Now then,” he grinned, and his teeth had been completely altered with a straight row—the only two to stand out being the prominent fangs that ended on his lower lip.

Alastor swooped in and you shut your eyes tight from the gush of wind that accompanied him only to be met with his warm breath on your neck.

“I trust you know that this will hurt for an itty bitty moment, yes?” He warned with a voice so vile yet sultry, like his little remarks had slithered into your ear and lapped your head in jawbreaker promises filled with his venom.

You nodded quickly, and froze at once when he punctured you; fire spread throughout your neck, inflamed your cheeks, collarbones protruding as you clawed at his shoulders for purchase—and to your surprise, he adjusted your grip to loop around his neck, which in turn enveloped you closer to him.

A swirling sensation danced into the picture with your jugular pulsing against his teeth. Your flesh and muscles hugged the two blades that only sank deeper into you causing you to bruise even further. You winced, and Alastor’s tongue drew small circles where he had been sucking. Something had been dripping from you and Alastor was sure not to miss a single drop of you. At least, not from your neck.

You bit your lip once more, a sound rising past your throat and holding your tongue hostage. Warmth had now engulfed your jaw and neck as you craned it back to allow him easier access—what was previously festered had subsided into a dizzying pleasure, his fangs almost tickling you along with the wet trails left by his tongue.

Ice washed over the abused spot on your neck when his fangs left you, pieces of your skin still clung onto him until the very last second. He nibbled and bit further down and along your collarbone before he drew back.

He exhaled through his teeth, which had now grown out to be the regular sharp rows he possessed previously. With the way his eyes trekked on your shoulders and jaw, it took every muscle in your body not to shrivel under his critical eye.

“Oh, my dear, you’re absolutely glowing,” Alastor sighed, the inner corner of his brows arched up as his hands remained planted on either side of you. His smile faltered. “If you should even dare to think otherwise, come to me. I will fix what is wrong with this realm, and that is the wretch who convinced the moon and stars they were nothing but rotten work.”

Heavy knocks thundered from the door.

“Alastor! What’s taking so long?” Charlie reprimanded, which made you jolt when she uttered your name along with his. “We need to go!”

Alastor stepped back and dusted himself off which allowed you space to do the same. You fixed your shirt and ran towards the door only for a firm hand on your forearm to twirl you around and dip you, your hair falling away from your face.

“Alastor!” You hissed.

Alastor held up your book with his free hand. “I’m touched you’d let me keep this as a souvenir.”

You grabbed the book and headed for the door again. “I’m late.”

Charlie called your name once more.

“Coming!”

“That you will be,” Alastor chuckled.

You glared at him over your shoulder. “Big talk for an ace.”

“I never know what that means.” Alastor shrugged as he planted his microphone in front of him.

You rolled your eyes before opening and slamming the door behind you, leaving Alastor to think about what he was going to do about your attitude when you got back.

[starsinmylatte]

I just saw your post on "Dr Ratio as a father" and wondered what you think it would be like if Aventurine met his baby son/daughter, because I think he would be like a rich uncle.

Anon, beloved, I have so many thoughts about this.

Aventurine very much has an inferiority complex and a desire to shower those he cares about with all the comforts he can provide, and he definitely cares about the Ratios and their unborn child. I think Veritas and his partner are two of the only people adjacent to the IPC who he can actually trust, and he's smart enough to realize that.

I also think that Aventurine’s upbringing will factor into this. With Sigonia having such a harsh, unforgiving climate, it's not unreasonable to assume that children would be a significant blessing in Avgin culture and a cause for major celebration. This only intensifies Aventurine’s desire to provide everything he can because he's also carrying on his cultural traditions by doing so. Hell, he’ll even try to buy expensive, luxurious things for Veritas’s pregnant partner until he's firmly shut down on that.

Veritas ratio x gender neutral reader below

Here’s one pre-birth situation that I can see happening:

One fine day, our beloved gambler decides to visit, and he walks in to find you and Veritas curled up on the couch, with papers and books neatly stacked around like a little cocoon of knowledge.

Veritas’s typical stern look is gone, replaced with a look of contemplative peace as he holds you against his chest, completely absorbed in the moment, “…and these specific beta hemoglobinopathies can now be repaired by-”

“What in the world are you subjecting your poor child to, Doctor?” The blonde man blinks and shakes his head, setting a small package down on your coffee table with a soft thunk.

Veritas scoffs at the intrusion, snapping the paper shut. “My voice. I'm ‘subjecting’ my child to my voice.”

You laugh fondly, rubbing the swell of your stomach. “The baby can't understand us yet, but they can hear and recognize our voices. That's the important thing.”

“Oh, that's actually rather sweet.” Aventurine hums contentedly. “Still, I'm assuming you can't read…. those papers to baby forever.”

“Mmmhmmm,” you agree absentmindedly, “We’ll need to look into more suitable books, Veri. If they're anything like we were, we’ll be going through quite a lot.”

Veritas chuckles lowly and you can feel the comforting rumble of his laughter against your back as one of his large hands envelops yours. “Of course, darling. They'll have as many books as they could ever want.”

The conversation continues from there, but Aventurine does not forget about that need. He searches and searches for the perfect baby books, and he proudly presents both parents with an entire set of those “Baby University” books.

Bonus: After baby is born, they're absolutely enamoured by all of the magic card tricks that Aventurine knows and he learns even more just to see the little one coo and grin at him.

Feel free to send me more dilf!Ratio thoughts 💜

[cocklessboy]

I see a lot of people saying that gender-affirming health care like top surgery for trans people like myself should be freely available (which is correct), but one of the reasons they often give is that top surgery is very safe and has a very low rate of complications compared to other surgeries. And I often see transphobes clutching their pearls over the few people who do have complications. What about them?! What if you're one of the unlucky ones?! Should we really let those transes risk it??!!!

Setting aside the fact that no one raises such concerns over other types of surgery, I'd like to use myself as an example for anyone who needs one.

In May of 2022 I had top surgery (double mastectomy). The surgery was done by a gynecological surgeon, not a plastic surgeon, because that way my insurance would cover it.

The surgeon did his job and removed the breast tissue, but he did not make it look pretty. I have dog-ears at both ends of both scars (extra bits of skin that hang off in a very unappealing fashion), my chest still looks unnaturally flat with no muscle or fat despite a lot of working out, and one of the stitches didn't heal properly and was left as an open wound through "secondary healing" for several months before it finally healed over into a very large scab (and eventually a very large scar). My nipples are uneven and irregular and look... well, just awful, really. Due to bad genetic luck, I wound up with keloid scars which, instead of getting smaller and lighter over time, have instead expanded, becoming thicker and darker. Worst of all, I now have chronic nerve pain in my chest. My GP thinks the surgeon must have hit a nerve during the procedure, and now I have random sharp pains all over my chest even now, nearly ten months later. The pain might improve with time, or it might not.

I basically had almost every possible complication one can have from this surgery short of infection or death. Some of the aesthetics might be fixable with more surgery (though plastic surgery will be expensive). Some are probably permanent. I might never feel comfortable taking my shirt off in public again. I might have to tattoo over the scars.

And pay attention to this next bit, because it's the most important part of this whole post: I do not regret the surgery. Even with all the complications and the ugly state of my chest and the pain. If someone said they could push a button and make it so that the surgery never happened and I'd have a perfect, unmarred chest with C-cup breasts again, I would tell them to take their button and fuck right off. Because even with basically the worst of all possible outcomes, that surgery was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I don't feel good about taking my shirt off in front of people now. I do think my chest is ugly. But it's a male chest now. When I put on a t-shirt, it rests flat against my chest. No one will ever mistake me for a woman again. I'll never have to wear a bra or binder ever again.

The dysphoria I felt from having breasts was so severe that a hideously scarred chest and chronic pain are vastly preferable. The euphoria I feel when I look in the mirror with a shirt on is something I never knew I was capable of feeling.

And it's my fucking body, and it's up to me what I do with it. If I wanted to tattoo myself from head to toe, or file my teeth into fangs, or have a doctor break my legs and surgically implant extensions to make me taller, that's my right because it's my body. The fact that all those things are regarded as basically acceptable (if a little weird), but I had to have a dehumanizing interview with an old cis psychiatrist who hates trans people and wants us all sterilized just to get a piece of paper giving me permission to have my tits removed, is fucking absurd.

Top surgery (of any kind) is generally very safe, and complications are rare. But even with the worst outcome, a trans person will basically never regret it.

And frankly, if a cis woman wants her tits cut off, or a cis man wants a pair of boobs to play with on his own chest, more power to them because literally who gives a fuck what people do to their own bodies? I saw a dude on TV when I was a kid who'd tattooed his whole body to look like a cat, filed his teeth into fangs, and had loads of plastic surgery to surgically implant whiskers and make his face look more feline. It was weird! But literally no one said that should be banned because he might regret it. It's his body to do whatever weird shit he wants with.

The next time someone clutches their pearls and kicks and screams about how you can't let someone permanently alter their body in a way they might regret, feel free to point to me and my complete and utter lack of regret.

(Or have a little fun with it, go hard in the other direction, and say you absolutely agree, which is why we should ban ALL non-emergency surgeries until the patient has been FULLY evaluated by three psychiatrists - along with tattoos and piercings. Oh, and ballet lessons for anyone under the age of 25, since ballet changes the structure of a child's body FOREVER.)

[waldau]

congrats on your new milestone!! i really enjoy reading your work♡ could i please request mingyu+'we're in completely different leagues'+'i'm not sober enough to talk about this'

just the two of us — kim mingyu | 7,009 words | hurt/comfort, fluff

i typed up a mammoth sized story (to me, at least) because i had so many thoughts. behold my longest fic ever written, patiently beta-read by the wonderful @tomodachiii. thank you for your help, tomo! ily <3 and thank you, anon, for your request!

gender neutral reader. warnings: reader has massive self-doubt, gets drunk halfway through the story.

“the next time i even think of going on a date, just take my phone and force me to go out on a walk. reconnect with nature. touch some grass, maybe,” you say, kicking your feet against mingyu’s cupboard from where you’re sat on his counter.

“did you have a bad date i wasn’t aware of? was it the guy with the blue streaks?” mingyu asks, pushing the bowl of cake batter towards you. he never shies away from reminding you of the repercussions of having raw dough — that too in excruciating detail. salmonella. e. coli. things he could skip but doesn’t, just because he likes annoying you.

he lets it slide this time. you’re allowed just one big spoon, and the next time you’ll see the rest of it is when it’s baked and topped off with handmade frosting. courtesy of kim mingyu. your best friend as well as part-time chef.

“…no.”

“don’t lie to me,” he says, tilting his head. “you wouldn’t have brought it up otherwise.”

“ugh. it’s just that…every time i even think of going out on a date, i have to reset my expectations. because men can’t clear the bar, no matter how low it is.”

you take a nibble from the spoon, and it tastes so damn good. it’s crazy how mingyu manages to find time to make new recipes and perfect them despite being a world-famous model that’s modelled for almost every major fashion house. you’ve lost count of how many magazines he’s been on.

it started out as a joke when you complained about all the magazines for his first ever gig having sold out. he’d taken it upon himself to get you a very special, signed copy that you have on display with the rest of the books in your glass bookcase. just the one, though. the rest of them are all piled up under your coffee table, much to mingyu’s chagrin. at least they’re in chronological order. and you’re making sure they’re not collecting dust.

that first edition is pretty much the only thing mingyu ever teases you about, tattered as it is, and on display for whoever comes to visit you. but you’d never get rid of it, not even for a new copy. it’s a milestone mingyu deserves to be celebrated for.

“does it taste good?” he asks with a small smile and a nervous smile. as if you’d have anything except praises to heap on him. this isn’t even the first time you wonder if he’d talk like this to you if you were together — endless smiles and warm cuddles under the covers and conversations about the most random things and stolen hoodies because you’re actually dating, and not just you being a guilty friend whose imagination runs a bit wild sometimes.

he does all of those with you. but he just doesn’t like you the way you like him.

how would he be, when he’s the kim mingyu? he has his fans falling to their feet if he so much as posts a picture of his hand. he’s the most charming human being you know. he’s tall not just because of his genes but also because of all the love he holds for everyone he knows.

you’re another moon that gets to orbit in the path of the admirable planet that he is.

sometimes you don’t even know how you managed to remain friends with him after university ended. the two of you started off as being part of the same friend group, having a few shared classes and some interests that kept the two of you together apart from your friends. by the time you graduated, both of you knew enough about each other to be able to hang out without needing your mutual friends. and it was hardly your fault that you felt drawn to how warm mingyu was, how easy it was to talk to him, and how happy you felt just by being around him.

so when it came to the topic of finding a place to live, the two of you decided it would be better for you to be roommates than find a complete stranger to share a living space with, and you went from friends to best friends soon after that.

mingyu’s always been your support system for whatever you’ve wanted to do, encouraging you to do what you wanted, regardless of how it would turn out or what others would think of it. in the same way, it wasn’t anything when you encouraged him to try out a modelling gig he’d signed up for and was unsure of how he’d fare.

long story short, the shoot was a pretty good success, and soon enough he got multiple gigs, managed to earn enough money to move into a bigger house, and even offered to pay your part of the rent because he wanted you to live with him — something that made you smack him.

you no longer live together now, mainly because of mingyu’s insistence on not wanting to disturb your sleep and your daily routine with all the schedules that keep him flying over the world. you did miss the breakfast he’d make for the two you every morning, and you’d managed to work out a compromise where mingyu became your personal chef on saturdays just so he’d have some time to spend with you.

it’s far from the worst arrangement in the world, and moments like these — him putting icing on your nose — make you realize how lucky you are to have him. you generally watch movies together, or he teaches you recipes, or he listens to you talk about your life, reciprocating with his own stories. things haven’t changed that much, even though you don’t live together anymore.

but part of you wishes things did change. that mingyu would, just once, look at you the way you look at him. it’s a wonder he hasn’t once caught you staring at him, because you’ve done that more times than you can count. but you can’t help it, because he just so happens to be your whole world.

but how long is this utopia going to last for? when is he going to realize you’re just plain old you, and that maybe he’s suited for more glamorous company? people who can probably pronounce the names of all his fashion houses correctly, people he models with, people that can hang off his arm and look like they belong there? not people who like wearing shorts and an old shirt as pyjamas and have bouts of self-doubt strong enough to crush entire mountains?

“…is it that good? you zoned out a bit there,” mingyu says, snapping his fingers in front of your eyes.

you blink out of your daydreams. it’s not even his fault that you’re so head over heels for him, although it kind of is. no one asked him to be so good looking and polite and so damn lovely that it became easy to imagine a future with him. just like lee youngji can imagine having a future with hong jisoo because he opened a carton of milk for her, you wonder how you haven’t yet succumbed to those thoughts when mingyu is such a big part of your life. you wonder at what point you knew you were fucked.

maybe it was when you and mingyu became friends, although you’ll never know for sure.

“no.”

“are you sure?”

“your ego doesn’t need to get any bigger,” you quip, finishing off the rest of your spoon.

he just laughs. “good to know. let’s just wait for an hour till it finishes baking, okay?” he hands you a baking sheet to line the pan with. you work in silence as he fiddles with the knobs on the oven, ladling out the batter into the pan and sticking it inside once the oven’s warmed up enough.

“want to do something while it bakes? watch a movie?”

“i was thinking we could go for a walk,” mingyu says, taking off his apron. he looks ridiculous, a hulking six foot two man wearing an apron that’s comically small for him, but he takes kitchen etiquette very safely. he hangs it up on the hook behind the door. “the weather’s good, and i don’t think i’ve been out for a walk in a while.”

“what about all those texts you sent me about missing bobpul? i wonder what your fans would’ve thought of that.”

“you’re not supposed to bring that up,” he whines, and you can’t help the giggle that makes its way to your face. he’s a grown man. and he’s the most adorable one you know. “that was a moment of weakness.”

“and you trusted me with it.”

“because i trust you.”

“i…fine,” you sigh, because what can you really say to that? “it’s cute, that’s all.”

mingyu wiggles his eyebrows. “you think i’m cute?”

“i swear—”

“kidding!” he walks you out of the kitchen, hands on your shoulders, and you love it as much as you wish he didn’t do it. “we’ll be back within the hour. the cake should be ready by then.”

he hands you one of his hoodies that’s lying on the sofa before you head out. you look up at him when he presses the fabric into your hands.

“it’s cold,” he explains, but it’s muffled by the messy way he’s pulling his hoodie over his head.

“and i can deal with the cold just fine.”

“no, you’re going to stick your cold toes on my legs when we sit down to eat, and i’m not going to bear that. even if you’re my best friend.”

and no matter what excuse you make to avoid wearing mingyu’s clothes, it’s never enough. he has to see you bundled up to make sure you’re not going to freeze in front of him, although that’s a tad bit dramatic. this is one of his newer hoodies, and you can tell by the way it doesn’t smell like him just yet. maybe it’s a good thing. maybe you can stop thinking about him like that. one step at a time.

“some best friend you are,” you mumble, wearing your shoes. you look up and mingyu’s frowning at you. not the usual way; there’s a tiny frown that would’ve been imperceptible if you didn’t know him the way you do, but you’re not going to ask what’s up. he tells you things if they’re really bothering him, so you’re going to let him let you know in his own time.

he wasn’t wrong. it really is windy. you’re glad he made you wear the hoodie. you pull the sweater paws over your palms, loving the way your palms instantly become warm. mingyu flips the hood over your head and you’re about to thank him for it before he draws the strings together and ends up blacking out your vision. he finds it funny for about two seconds till you stumble blindly and end up jostling him in the stomach.

he's still wincing when you undo the strings, and you can’t help but laugh. “sorry, gyu.”

“are you, though?”

“…no.”

“thought so.”

“was it my fault?”

“no,” he says, and smiles, and you feel your heart flutter again. “not your fault.” it’s so pretty. even his smile’s so pretty. you love his canines, his little fangs that he feels weird about sometimes. if it were up to you, you’d do anything to make him love them just as much as you did, even if that something were kissing.

whoa. not again. not when he’s with you.

“so, about failed dates,” he says, looking at you. “are you actually looking for something, or do you just…go on them to pass your time?”

mingyu does this thing where he can read you to filth without even trying. it’s like he knows what’s running in your mind, or at least has the vaguest idea of it, and he says things that are basically truths you don’t want to admit to yourself out of fear of not knowing what to do about them.

“why does it matter?” you ask, a bit defensive.

he frowns. again, that little frown. you wish you could remove it. “because there’s so many other things you could be doing to spend time instead of creeping yourself out every time you go on a date. and you don’t need to keep getting yourself hurt like that if it isn’t leading to anything.”

“are you dating someone?”

mingyu pffts. “what, i can’t have advice for you without being in a relationship?”

“no,” you say immediately, backtracking. of course he can. “sorry. i know you didn’t mean anything by it, but…”

“but?”

“i just wish i—”

you’re cut off by the sudden bark of a dog. you look around to find the source of the sound only to see a dog running around in circles with its leash in its mouth. it looks adorable.

“hey, buddy,” you say, crouching down in front of it. it looks up at you and barks. a happy little yip! before it continues running along in circles.

“are you lost?” mingyu asks softly, crouching down next to you. he reaches out a hand to pet its head, and the puppy leans into his touch completely. it looks familiar for some reason.

“do you have any idea whose dog this is?” mingyu asks. you shake your head. maybe you’ve seen a dog like this, not the dog itself, but you’re really not sure. he’s in the process of searching the dog’s collar, but someone yelling in the distance makes him pause. he gets up and tugs the dog by its collar. it has the name tag jamie inscribed on it.

the person yelling out for jamie is none other than one of your neighbours. you know her well. as well as you can for someone you don’t interact much with. not if you can help it.

she’s the kind of neighbour that always pokes her nose into matters that don’t bother her, the neighbour that outright shows she’s not interested in something if it doesn’t get her anything. the two times you tried to initiate a conversation with her as you waited for the elevator to reach your floor are a stark reminder of the fact that she’s not the kind of person you’d ever be friends with. you don’t know what you’ve done to rub her the wrong way, but she doesn’t look like she’ll even give you a chance.

you watch as mingyu hands over the dog to her, and once she’s done making sure jamie’s okay, she looks him up and down.

you don’t blame her. you’d do the same, a bit more subtly, but it does sting to see the way she’s probably the kind of person he should be hanging out with.

“thanks for finding jamie,” she says, all smiles. she really doesn’t need to be smiling that much.

“no worries,” mingyu says with a smile of his own. “and it wasn’t me who found jamie, by the way. it was them.” he points to you with a jerk of his thumb. you smile at her, but feel icy inside when she looks you up ad down.

“oh. are they your…” she trails off with a smile on her face that screams no fucking way. you suddenly wish you could just run back to your apartment and leave the two of them down here.

“partner? you think so?”

“just…you two look like opposites, that’s all. sometimes opposites don’t attract, but you never know. life’s funny sometimes.” she simpers a little, and your hands ball up into fists by your side.

what you don’t expect is for mingyu to throw his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into himself. “yes, actually,” he says, leaning into you in a way that most definitely exaggerates your height difference. “you could call them my better half. and don’t they look good in this hoodie? it’s mine, by the way,” he says, and you can recognize the smile on his face — it’s a fake one, the corporate one he adopts when he’s in a situation he doesn’t like.

his words keep buzzing in your mind as you walk past your neighbour and back upstairs to your apartment. he’d said you were a couple so easily, even though you were not. better half? really? the way he’d leaned into you so easily, the fact that he told her it was his hoodie. it’s…weird. and too much for you.

you don’t speak much as you help mingyu remove the cake from the oven, getting it ready for frosting. he manages to get an indignant sound when he manages to get some on your cheek this time, but the rest of the evening is spent thinking about the interaction you had.

is it really so unbelievable for people to imagine the two of you together?

“hey,” he says, bumping your side with his. except he miscalculates his strength (or does it on purpose) and ends up making you stumble a few steps away from him. you don’t even have it in you to be mad when you see the giggle on his face. “you good?”

“yes. sorry,” you say, opening the refrigerator to take out the food mingyu had made last night. he cooks enough to feed a family of four even though you’re the only one that lives at your place, so it’s useful for when you don’t feel like cooking.

“who was she?” mingyu asks, setting down the plates on the table. “a friend?”

you shudder at the thought of her being your friend. “a neighbour. she lives in the flat down mine. she’s not really the kind of person i’d be friends with, but jamie’s cute. i keep seeing him around sometimes.”

“hmm.” you get the smell of reheated noodles as mingyu works at the stove. “she was…weird.”

“that’s an understatement.”

“is she always like that?”

“rude?”

“yeah. that’s not something you’d say to a couple you see, even if you don’t like them.”

“she certainly doesn’t seem to care,” you say, a bit more forceful than necessary, setting down two glasses as well.

“well, i think we’d make a cute couple,” mingyu says, a little smile on his face as he reaches out to ruffle your hair.

you swear your heart dies a little right then and there. you stare at him unblinkingly. “do you ever hear the stuff that comes out of your mouth?” you ask, regaining your bearings and filling the glasses with water.

“sorry,” mingyu says, sheepishly. “i just don’t like the idea of anyone talking like that. especially with you. especially when you’ve done nothing to deserve it.”

your heart warms at that. “thank you, gyu,” you say, reaching out to squeeze his arm. bad idea. you’d forgotten how much he’s been working out recently, and how big he is. “i’m glad i could one-up her this time.”

“just call me the next time you want to do it again.”

“yeah, sure.”

the rest of the night is spent watching this show that’s been on your watchlist for a while, and you don’t mind if mingyu conks out in the middle of it.

sure enough, you hear his soft snores after you finish your dessert, and you turn to see this big man that’s also your best friend craning his neck on the sofa as he tries to keep himself in the blanket that’s certainly not big enough for the two of you.

sometimes you wonder if he’d cuddle with you to save space and keep himself warm, and this also happens to be one of those times. You get up and reposition him as gently as you can, so that his back doesn’t hurt in the morning. His nose twitches when you rest a hand on his hair, wishing him a silent goodnight.

It's not the first time you wish you could kiss him, dangerous as that thought is.

you can’t stop thinking about the interaction you had a few days ago. sure, your neighbour isn’t someone whose behaviour you’d count on to matter, but was she right when she said she can’t see two people like you together? people as opposite to each other as you and mingyu?

sure, you’re not the usual kind of crowd he hangs out with, but is it so bad to imagine something between the two of you? was that just the sign to stop thinking about mingyu, get over him and resign yourself to a life without love?

as much as you complain about going on dates, there’s something that’s your fault too — you look for mingyu everywhere. none of the men you’ve gone on dates with are mingyu, and that’s the crux of the problem. none of them smile the way he does, none of them give you their jacket when you’re feeling cold, and it’s unfair for you to expect them to understand everything about you.

you can’t have mingyu, and you’re going to have to learn to accept that.

Which is why you’re at this party with your friend seungkwan. it’s not your usual scene — you’d much rather be curled up in bed with a book and some takeout, or cleaning your bookshelf while listening to music on the television — but you’re not complaining. seungkwan was right. you need to let go once in a while, just enjoy yourself before you inevitably spend weeks together keeping to yourself, immersed in your work.

“dance with me!” seungkwan yells out to you over the din of the crowd.

“i can’t dance! not like you!”

“that hardly matters! let’s have some fun, come on!”

seungkwan is nothing if not persistent. finishing off the last of the drink, you let him lead you out onto the dance floor. he rests his hands on your shoulders as he sways you to the music. it’s fast paced and something you’d be caught doing in the privacy of your own house, your own little concert, and for once you don’t care about the fact that people can see you. you’re lost in your own little world with seungkwan, and more importantly, you’re happy. the stress of whatever the fuck happened last week between you and mingyu, with him calling himself your boyfriend without knowing how down bad you are for him, is pushed to the back of your mind as the beat changes. seungkwan starts clapping to the rhythm, making you realize you’re dancing by yourself.

you’re not half bad at this. a little under confident, sure, but not bad. you could try making this a monthly thing and having fun with it.

eventually you end up too exhausted to dance to another song, and seungkwan guides you to a seat, your shoes in his hand as he asks you to catch your breath and wait for a while more till he finishes dancing with some other people.

you’ve ordered a basic drink for yourself when someone slides in next to you. you don’t pay them much attention, focusing on relaxing a bit and finishing your drink, but you have to turn around and look at them when you can actually feel their eyes piercing into your side and— boy, is he a sight for sore eyes.

he looks boyishly handsome, completely in place in this club as he watches you with his chin resting in his hand, eyes glinting in the light of the fixture above the two of you. he’s pretty, and just as handsome, and his eyes are the loveliest shade of brown you’ve ever seen.

“saw you dancing out there,” he says, his words a bit of a drawl, and accented. “you were pretty good.”

“you don’t need to lie if you’re trying to flirt,” you jest, finishing your drink.

“i’m not in the habit of lying,” he says, smiling at you. “you looked like you were having fun.”

“i…was, actually,” you say. he’s still smiling, looking at you like he’s searching for something in your eyes. you feel warm. gosh.

“can i get you another drink?”

“no, thank you, actually. i need my head to remain intact if i want to get home in one piece.”

“suit yourself,” he nods, and asks the bartender for the same drink you had. the bar is in hell, but you’re impressed he backed off immediately. you watch as he makes quick work of his drink.

“so, you come here often?” he asks, wiping the back of his mouth.

“not really. my friend dragged me out tonight because he felt i needed a break from my life.”

“just a friend?” he asks, eyes following your line of vision to see seungkwan still dancing with some strangers, looking like he’s having fun.

“why, you interested?”

“depends on who you’re talking about.”

“him?”

“cute, but no.”

“me.”

“maybe.”

you trace the ring of condensation your drink’s left on the table. “but i’m not looking for anything, honestly. i’ve sworn off dating for a while.”

“that’s fine. we could just…talk.”

you look up at the man. you don’t know if this is his way of trying to get you to go home with him, but it’s the most genuine someone’s been. “you never told me your name, by the way.”

“me? vernon. nice to meet you.”

you give him your name in return, and like the way it rolls off his tongue.

“so…can i ask why you’ve sworn off dating?”

seungkwan’s still going to take a while, going by the previous times you’ve been here, and vernon definitely seems interested in talking to you.

“you ever…had a crush on your best friend?”

vernon winces — an actual wince, like he’s seen something terrible, and it makes you laugh. “yeah…once. it sucks.”

“exactly.”

“you’re trying to get over them?”

“trying being the keyword, yes.”

“then how are you trying to get over them if you’re not into dating?”

you sigh. vernon’s a perceptive one. “trying to think of other people even if i don’t necessarily go home with them. just anything to get my mind off him.”

“anything? how bored would you be if i started talking about why i think star wars is excessive but also misunderstood?”

you don’t find vernon boring, in fact. you find yourself drawn to him speaking, the way his eyes light up and his hands get a life of their own as he lists out every single point in aid of his stance, and encourages you to contribute to the conversation. it feels like he’s an old friend, and not someone you met hardly an hour ago. it’s fun.

“…so maybe we could go out to watch that movie? it’s coming out next week.”

“go out?”

“as friends, of course. i’m not looking to take someone home, either. if anything, i came here to keep my friends company, but…i think i lost them in the crowd.”

you look around, and seungkwan’s sitting at a table surrounded by a bunch of girls, and it makes you grin. he doesn’t need you sticking with him anymore.

“you were saying?”

“does next week work—”

“it doesn’t,” says a new voice. a familiar voice. there’s two hands on your shoulders, a familiar weight. “we’re hanging out at my place next week.”

“mingyu!” you exclaim, pulling him out from behind you. “don’t scare me like that.”

“sorry,” he says, not sounding the least bit sorry. “you have no idea how much time i spent searching for you only to find you hidden here.”

“why were you looking for me? how did you know i was here?”

he looks at you like you asked him something stupid. “because it’s late, and because seungkwan’s most definitely not driving you home.” ah. seungkwan must have asked mingyu to pick you up, given that he was your ride here.

“well,” you say, directing him towards your conversational partner. “this is vernon. my new friend.”

“hi,” he says, curt, and you frown. mingyu’s generally nicer.

“hey,” vernon says coolly. then he turns back to you. “can you give me your number? i’ll text you about it later, when you’re free. think i’ll search for them now.”

you hand vernon your own phone, given he’s had less drinks than you have, and it hardly takes a minute for him to enter his details before he saves his number and claps your shoulder, wishing you and mingyu a good night.

you find mingyu watching vernon making his way through the crowd. “so, who was that?”

“new friend. vernon. like i said.”

“a new friend? seriously? he just asked for your number.”

“so? he wasn’t hitting on me or anything. he just asked me so we could go see this movie we’ve been wanting to watch.”

mingyu’s eyebrows rise. “a movie? together? doesn’t that sound like…a date?”

you frown. “two friends can go watch movies, mingyu. don’t we do that all the time?”

“Yeah, but that’s because you know me. he’s just some random guy you met today. at a club.”

either mingyu’s being obtuse, or you’re not thinking correctly. “are you saying i don’t know how to read people’s intentions?”

“you’re drunk,” he says bluntly, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around your shoulders. “you don’t know what he wants.”

something about his tone makes you angry. he wasn’t even here the whole evening. “as if you do. you didn’t speak to him at all, mingyu. you don’t even know what we talked about.”

“didn’t you say you wanted to stop going out on dates?”

the coldness in his voice makes you freeze. you’ve never heard him sound so hostile, not with you. “what do you mean?”

“why did i have to find out from seungkwan that you were out here at this club just a week after you asked me to make you touch grass if you so much as thought of a date?”

“but it wasn’t a date!” you exclaim, feeling more and more annoyed. to your horror, you feel tears stinging the corners of your eyes. “are you saying i’m—”

“you’re drunk. you don’t know what you want. did you seriously expect to make friends at the club of all places?”

this isn’t your mingyu. he’d never judge you the way he’s doing right now. you take his jacket and throw it on the counter, turning around and marching out. you’ll call a cab to take you to your place. you don’t need him dropping you home.

“hey,” mingyu calls out, jogging towards you, jacket in his hand. “it’s cold. take this, please?”

“i don’t care about what you have to say,” you sniff, wrapping your hands around yourself. “don’t talk to me.”

“listen, you can be angry with me all you want, but just take my jacket. i don’t want you freezing out here when you don’t need to be.”

“maybe you should’ve thought of that before saying all that shit to me,” you spit. “why do you want to talk to me now? just insult me some more, why don’t you?”

mingyu huffs, but says nothing. he just looks at you.

“come with me.”

“where?”

“to my car.”

“why should i?”

“i won’t leave you here by yourself. i want to make sure you’re safe. let me drop you home and you can be mad at me all you want. please.”

“what, your night’s going to be a waste unless i come with you?”

“no,” he says quietly, and it makes you pause. mingyu is anything but quiet. “It’s never a waste. but it’ll just put my mind at ease if i know you’re safe, okay?”

you see the logic in his words, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. “fine,” you say, taking his jacket from him and slipping it on.

“thank you,” he says, opening the passenger door for you.

the drive to your place is quiet. you can tell mingyu wants to say something, start a conversation, but you keep your eyes resolutely fixed ahead.

“come on,” he says, unbuckling his seat belt and getting out when you reach your building. you follow him upstairs to your apartment. he unlocks the door for you and makes way for you to step inside first.

“do you need water? food? anything i can get?” he asks, taking off his shoes.

you turn around to look at him. he’s big, as always, but for once it feels like he’s taking up all the space in your apartment.

“i’m not that drunk,” you say finally.

he stands up straight to look at you. “but—”

“yes, i had some drinks, but i know my limit. i had my last one just before i started talking to vernon. i hate that you thought i wasn’t capable of making my own decisions.”

he swallows. “i didn’t mean to undermine—”

“but you did! and you don’t know how terrible it feels. i’m not a baby, gyu. i know what i want and what i’m doing. i’m hurt. and,” you say, taking in a deep breath, “if you really want to know something, know this — we’re in completely different leagues.”

mingyu frowns. “what do you mean?”

“i—” there’s so much you mean. you can’t possibly recount all the thoughts you’ve had about feeling inadequate, all the nights you’ve spent wondering how long it’ll be before he realizes you’re not as cool as you should be. “i’m not sober enough to talk about this.”

“you just said you weren’t that drunk.”

“this is my home,” you say, a bit harsher than needed. “you got me here safe, and that’s all you wanted to do. this is me being mad at you, so if you respect me, you’re going to let me sleep. okay? goodnight, mingyu.”

“goodnight,” he says, and you hate how small his voice sounds. “sleep well.”

and you do sleep well. well enough that you sleep through your alarm, and wake up almost when it’s ten. at least it’s a saturday, so you’re not freaking out as you brush your teeth. you have some work to do today. and hanging out with mingyu is on the agenda as well, but you’re not sure if you’re keen on going through with it, especially after what happened last night.

if you were delusional, which you’re most definitely not, you’d say that mingyu had been jealous that you and vernon had exchanged numbers in front of him. except there’s no reason for him to be jealous. like he reminded you, you’re not looking for any relationships. there’s no one he has to compete with, so to speak.

so why was he that upset last night? and what about the things he’d said to you?

you’ve had fights before, fights that ended up with both of you not wanting to speak to each other, but this was different. he’d never been angry like this.

you’re the one who’s upset, you realize, as you walk to the kitchen to fix yourself some breakfast. you’re going to talk it out with mingyu once your head is clearer, and you’re going to see what he has to say for himself.

except mingyu’s already here. you can smell the delicious scent of tteokbokki wafting through the room. mingyu’s set out two plates, two glasses — the usual. you’re feeling woefully under dressed in front of him in your pyjamas, despite the fact that he’s seen you like this multiple times before.

“morning,” he says. his voice is hesitant. It’s never hesitant.

“hi. morning.”

“slept well?”

“yeah, better than…what exactly are you doing here?”

“cooking you breakfast,” he says, waving his spatula around.

“i can see that. i meant here. in my place. didn’t you go back home after dropping me off?”

“no. i felt too tired to drive back home, so i decided to crash out on your couch. and i’m making you breakfast now. isn’t that a win-win?”

you can see one win, but you’re not sure what the other is. you take a seat at the table and pour yourself a glass of water, wearily trying to assess the situation. mingyu had pretty much scolded you last night. like a parent who didn’t trust you to make the right choices despite having free will. and now he’s cooking you breakfast like last night just didn’t happen.

“can i ask you something?” mingyu says, pushing a plate of tteokbokki towards you along with a pair of chopsticks.

“don’t think i can stop you, can i?”

mingyu huffs. “hey. if you’re upset with me, just say no.”

“what is it?”

“what did you mean by yourself being out of my league?”

you set your chopsticks down. “you’re serious? you’re really asking me that?”

he frowns. “yes.”

“mingyu, you called yourself my boyfriend a week back. your…better half.”

“that was to make your neighbour leave. she was being weird.”

“sure. and then we went back to life like nothing had even happened.”

“because…it hadn’t? i thought we talked it out that night itself? what happened now?”

“i don’t think you understand how that made me feel. especially when you said—” you say, voice trembling. “you called yourself my boyfriend last week. like it’s something you throw around naturally. and last night you acted all…weird, as if i wasn’t allowed to have a normal conversation with someone who wasn’t you. why are you so confusing?”

“would you hear me out if i said i had a reason?”

“you’d better have a damn good reason.”

mingyu sets down his glass and looks at you. “i’m sorry for everything i said yesterday. i truly am. i didn’t mean any of it. i was just…jealous.”

that catches your attention. “jealous? of?”

“that guy. vernon. you seemed like you were having a good time talking to him and i thought about how if you got together you’d probably leave our relationship behind because you liked him so much.”

“whoa. slow down. i told you i wasn’t looking—”

“you weren’t. i know that. but the way you looked at him made me feel something.”

“what?”

“i’m saying…” mingyu takes in a deep breath, and focuses on something past your shoulder. not meeting your eyes. “i’m saying i like you.”

you blink. “i’m sorry?”

“i like you, and i was jealous because you seemed to be having so much fun talking to him. if you have to know, there’s no guy who possibly deserves you. i’m not saying i do, either, but i’ll try my best to be the guy you deserve.”

it’s still too early in the day for this. “stop joking, mingyu. i don’t want to go through it again. just—”

“i’m not!” he exclaims, coming over to your side of the table. “thinking i could be with anyone i wanted is a bold thing to say. how do you think i feel every time i go out for company dinners but all i want to do is spend time with you? have you as my plus one every time?”

your heart’s fluttering very fast. you feel almost breathless. “i wouldn’t even look that good by your side.”

“says you. have you ever seen yourself?”

“i have, actually, and i look—”

“so gorgeous,” mingyu cuts you off, eyes twinkling as he says so. as though he’d been holding onto it for so long and finally found the right time to release it. “you look exactly like the person i want to spend every single day of my life with.”

you almost expect cameras to pop up out of nowhere and film your reaction to what he’s just said. “the…rest of your life? you do know that’s…a long time, right?”

“i do. and i’ve already spent four years with you. eight, if you’re counting the time before we became best friends.”

it’s everything you’ve ever wanted to hear. what he’s offering is so close to you, just an arm’s length away, but you can’t convince yourself to reach out for it. you hide your face in your hands. “gyu…”

“i’m serious,” he says, gently peeling your hands from your face. his hands are so warm as he holds yours, and his boba eyes are so close to yours. he’s adorable. “give me one chance?”

“what if we…mess this up? what if you realize i’m not that fun to hang out with every single day?”

“what if you realize everything you're thinking is wrong? what if you realize there’s no way i’m going to let things go wrong, especially when it comes to you?”

you don’t know what to say. you don’t know what the future holds in store, and you have no answers to your questions just like you don’t have answers to his.

“i know you think…not so greatly of yourself sometimes,” mingyu says, squeezing your hands. “and i want to be here to tell you that everything you think in that regard is wrong. i like you because you’re you. why do you think you’re the only one who’s been my best friend for so long? you’re the only one i can be myself around completely. tell me you know that.”

“i…didn’t know that.”

“then i clearly didn’t do a very good job at being your best friend. maybe i can fix that now.”

now. now that mingyu likes you. now that you have the chance to see your relationship blossom into something more.

“you’re not even going to ask me if i like you?”

a slow blush spreads across mingyu’s face. “shit, sorry. um, do you…like me?”

“of course i like you, gyu,” you smile, feeling giddy at the way he gets redder.

“good. can i, um, be your boyfriend, then? would you like that?”

“you’re not taking me out on a date first?”

mingyu’s eyes shine and he leans in till his nose is inches away from yours. “hi,” he whispers, and you actually whimper when his lips brush yours the slightest bit. embarrassing. mingyu doesn’t seem to mind, though.

“g-good morning, gyu.”

“the best, actually. even better if you let me take you out on a date today.”

taglist: @bookyeom @wootify @strnsvt @cloudycaramel @thepoopdokyeomtouched

@minnieminshi @nonononranghaee @hrts4hanniehae @viewvuu @bewoyewo

[gingermintpepper]

Okay, let's finally talk about EPIC's Apollo

I feel very compelled to say, first of all, that I do not dislike Epic. In fact, I am very fond of Epic and have been following its production and status very eagerly! I attend all the launch streams, I watch all of Herrans' update videos; I am, at the end of the day, a fan and I want it to be known that my words are spoken out of love and passion as much as they are spoken from a place of critique.

So really, what my problem with Epic's Apollo?

In the briefest possible terms; the choice to have Apollo be defined by his musical aspect in God Games is thematically strange. And not in the 'oh well in the Odyssey, Apollo was important to Odysseus and his family so it's weird that that wasn't kept in Epic' strange, strange in the sense that Odysseus' character arc since My Goodbye has been getting more and more obviously Apollonian and so it is positively bizarre that when we get to meet Apollo, the god seems entirely disinterested in him and his affairs. So much so that he is not even defined by any station that would indicate that he has been watching over and protecting Odysseus and his family.

What do I mean by 'Odysseus has been following an Apollonian arc'? I'm so glad you asked!

Remember Them is the last song in which Odysseus explicitly uses his sword until Mutiny where he must use it to defend himself against Eurylochus' blade. He uses it to help enact the plan to conquer Polyphemus and, due to Polites dying in that battle, Polites who wished for Odysseus to put the blade down entirely and embrace a post-war life, Odysseus also retires his sword. This is an action that symbolically separates him from Athena - and the image of Odysseus as a traditional warrior set for him in Horse and Infant - as much as My Goodbye physically separates him from the goddess and her war-ways - from this point onwards, Odysseus will no longer be leaning on Athena's wisdom or methods to solve his problems. Likewise, he will no longer be able to rely on her protection.

Odysseus thusly solves most of his upcoming problems through diplomacy and avoidance. He approaches Aeolus - a strange and ambiguous god (both in gender and in motivation) and appeals to them for help. Circe too, he approaches not with wishes to conquer or for revenge, but for the safe returning of his men and an alternate way forward. In all of these scenarios, there is some Apollonian element which is subtly interweaved alongside the influence of other gods; it is with a bow and arrows that Polyphemus' sheep is slain (and thus it is this Apollonian element which is at the root of Odysseus' spat with Poseidon), it is a vision of Penelope that warns Odysseus that his men are about to open Aeolus' wind-bag, Circe's peace offering to Odysseus is to refer him to a prophet of Apollo who has since died.

In this way, Apollo is walking alongside Odysseus for all of his journey after Athena departs - even in the Underworld, he is guiding him. It is Tiresias' proclamation that is the last straw for Odysseus, it is by the power of a mouthpiece of Apollo that Odysseus decides to embrace his ruthlessness. It is with the bow and arrow that Odysseus subdues the siren who sought to trick him, likewise, Odysseus does not attempt to undermine or escape the fate of paying Scylla's passage price - he knows of the doom about to befall the six men and quite unlike the rest of the journey until this point, he does not fight against it. This all comes to a head on Thrinacia where it is a blade which sacrifices the sun god's cow and brings destruction upon the crew once more.

My point with all of this is that when I heard the teasers for God Games years ago, it made perfect sense to me that Apollo would be Round One - he is not Odysseus' adversary and has no reason to oppose Athena's wish to free him. From other teasers about what will happen in the climax of Epic, Apollo will still be walking alongside Odysseus - it is Apollo's bow that Penelope will give the suitors to string. Likewise, it is Apollo's bow that will prove Odysseus' legitimacy and identity. That bow will be the power by which Odysseus hunts his adversaries and cleans out his palace - it is Apollo who is the avatar of Odysseus' ruthlessness, not Athena.

So tell me, truly, what was the point of having Apollo raise a non-argument in God Games? Why have him appear unconcerned, aloof and slightly oblivious? Why have him appear in his capacity as the Lord of Music at all?? And if the intention was never to make Apollo an active player in Odysseus' life like he was in the Odyssey, why keep Odysseus as a primary archer?

The answer of course is that Apollo is inextricable from the fabric of the Odyssey - his influence and favour exudes from Odysseus just as much as Athena's. In Athena's ten year sulk, it would have been Apollo who kept Telemachus and Penelope safe. It would have been Apollo protecting Odysseus from Poseidon's gaze as he travelled the seas (according to the Odyssey anyway)

Forgive me for not being excited about something that I thought was being purposefully set up. I was extremely ecstatic about all of the little Apollonian details that litter the sagas because I know where this story ends up (loosely) but all God Games did was reveal that maybe those Apollonian details were not intentional at all, but merely the ghost of the Apollo who persistently haunts those he favours, even if he cannot explicitly come to their aide in an adaptation.

[chris-prank]

What do you think of a scenario where after Dr Seraph is completely defeated by the Vigilante reader, the doctor curses the reader calling them brute and savage and then the reader holds Dr Seraph's chin and smiles maliciously saying something like: "If You think my way of fighting is wild, how about trying what I'm like in bed?"

You don't have to do this if you don't want to, and in fact the reader can be gender neutral or whatever you want.

Warning: NSFW (like Reader and Dr. Seraph are going at it)

Since it’s GN, I made it vague enough so you can choose if the reader has a dick or a strap-on. 

DOM READER SUPREMACY RAAAAAH

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“W-wh— I mean… I… em—”

“I need a clear answer.” You rubbed your thumb over his lips, making him spiral even more. 

Dr. Seraph was stunned. Surely, you were making fun of him. You were waiting for him to say yes just so you could laugh in his face. Then you would go around, telling everyone how desperate and pathetic he was for believing you. 

But in a way it’s not like he wasn’t used to being ridiculed… How worse could it be this time? And there was still a minuscule chance that you were being serious... 

Fuck it. He had wanted you for some time now, and he wasn't going to ignore this opportunity. 

“Y-yes… I want too try…”

***

You were not in fact playing with him. 

That couldn’t have been made more clear as you ram yourself into his ass. He was so cute with his face all red and the fact that he had a hard time keeping himself straight, letting you move his body like a rag doll. 

You’ve seen him flustered before, thanks to all the little flirty comments you said to throw him off during confrontations, but this was completely different. His eyes were half-lidded, his mouth slightly open with saliva threatening to leak down and tears rolling down his cheeks. All that paired with his flushed face made it a unique sight to see. 

The most enjoyable part was that you knew his tears came from pleasure, so hearing him trying to deny it was adorable. He kept making small complaints, saying how mean you were, at least that’s what you think he said. He wasn’t making very complete sentences after all. 

“Really? It seems to me that you’re really enjoying it, if not why don’t you use your safe words Mmm?”

Just in case, you slowed down so he could have the opportunity to speak up if he really wasn’t feeling it. At the same time, it was perfect teasing material if he did like it. 

“N-no, d—don’t stop…” Vincent whimpered as he hid his face with his forearm. 

You chuckle, making him whine in response. You lifted him up slightly and bucked your hips into him once again. Your fingers accidentally grazed a bruise on his hips that you had caused during the fight earlier. The scientist winced and rested his head on your shoulder. You could hear him trying to say something. 

“H—hug…” He mumbled, almost inaudible. 

“Of course baby, but you need to keep moving, ok?” 

You released his hips and pulled him flush against your chest, your hand reaching each other behind his back. You whispered gentle praise into his ear as he proceeded to bounce on your member all on his own. His cock, now trapped between your two bodies, twitched. You swore he made even more moans now that you were holding him so lovingly. 

“K—nghh” He whimpered before he could even get the chance to say anything. 

“It’s ok, show me what you want.”

While still hugging you, Vincent leaned back to be face to face. He closed his eyes and slowly leaned in once again, but this time for a kiss. You accepted it gladly. 

His mouth was so warm and wet against yours that you melted into it. He was undeniably a good kisser, despite being a bit washed out by all the action going on. In this state you were both a bit sloppy, but it made it all the more intoxicating. He didn’t even forcibly push his tongue into your mouth, instead gently licking your lips as a way to ask for permission. You’ll absolutely reward him for that afterward. 

When you pulled away to breathe again, Vincent had still his eyes closed and was kissing into the void, expecting you to come back. You took that chance to go to his neck and nibble at his skin, making sure to not bite too hard. The man gasped and his body, including his inside, shuddered at the sensation. Between kisses, nibbling and licking you mumbled how good he was being. One of your hand creeped down to grope his ass cheek as he was still trying to move up and down your shaft. 

Vincent was definitely not regretting having accepted your proposal a few hours ago. Despite his mind being clouded by pleasure, he silently hoped this wasn’t going to be the first and last time for you two to do this. 

***

Back at the secret lair, Vincent could feel the gaze of the henchmen fixated on his body. It’s not like he was in very good shape, every bit of his exposed skin was covered with red marks! One of the big guys couldn’t keep his mouth shut anymore and walked over to the mad scientist. 

“Is that a bite mark?!”

Dr. Seraph simply opted to vaguely nod as he sipped more of his coffee. 

“Wow they really went rough on you this time… it’s making me a bit worried not gonna lie.” 

All the goons shivered in fear. Their imagination coming up with scenarios all more gruesome than the last, as they tried to explain the state their superior was in. 

･*:.｡..｡.:*･*:.｡..｡.:*･

So I don’t know if you were expecting smut…so em sorry it’s that not where you thought this scenario would go 😅. Either way, I hope you still liked it! 

[ramblingoak]

A Nap With Terzo

~ A special edition of Naps With Copia ~

This was for an Anon that was having a tough time with their finals and wanted a comforting nap with Terzo 💙 (sorry this took forever!)

Terzo x gn!reader

The naps are all stand alone stories so you do not have to read one before the other! This series came from my post about wanting to nap with Copia all around the abbey. The stories will all have gender neutral readers and soft naps.

Warnings: none, just Terzo being a little silly, sfw, 800 words (thank you to @gothdaddyissues for the dividers!)

No one else got to see him like this. 

Well, maybe his ghouls did.  Spending months together packed into a tour bus allowed you to see the best and worst of everyone.  You had heard plenty of stories of the things the band and crew would get up to.  To be honest some stories you wished you could forget. Although knowing why Alpha was strongly discouraged from coming back to Albuquerque, New Mexico did give you good blackmail material.  

Moments like this though were something rare to see.  The Siblings were used to Papa Emeritus III and his ways.  They had spent years watching him on stage and at the pulpit.  Both were performances for your Papa.  Both showed a side of him that he had spent years honing to perfection.  The boisterous and carefree Papa that was quick to tease and even quicker to flirt.  But right now, tucked away in your bed and softly snoring…

This was your Papa. 

“I need to get up soon.”

“Hush. You need rest, Terzo.”

“Eh, I’m fine.”  His body betrayed him, his jaw immediately opening in a wide yawn.  When he caught your smirk he huffed, rolling his eyes as he turned the other way.  “Imperator will be looking for me.  So she can nitpick how each ritual went.”

“Don’t worry about her.”  Terzo turned his head, his eyebrow raised in question as he peered at you.  “She has her hands full.”

“Oh?”  You laughed when he quickly spun around, his arms snaking around your waist to bring you in close.  “Do tell, amore.”

“Your brothers promised to keep her attention until the morning.”

“Sounds ominous.”  

He ducked his head, hiding his face in your neck.  Terzo always got shy when his brothers helped him.  Like the notion of a family acting like family was still foreign to him.  You dropped a kiss onto his head and gently started carding your fingers through his hair.  

“Secondo assured me no one would get hurt.”  

“Bene.”  He pressed a few kisses of his own into your skin before pulling away, a soft smile on his face.  “What shall we do with all that time, hmm?”

His attempt at wiggling his eyebrows failed as he started yawning again.  He groaned when he was done, flinging himself onto his back and throwing an arm over his eyes.  

“I think a nap is the only thing you need to focus on right now.”

“But amore, that’s so boring!”  You obliged him when he tugged you close.  “I’d rather be kissing you.”  

“We can kiss after a nap.”

“We can kiss before one too.”  

He leaned in and planted a noisy smooch on your cheek, his lips then traveling down to your chin and over to your ear.  When his teeth gently nibbled at the lobe you squealed and tried to move away but his arms remained tight around you.

“Terzo!  Stop, stop!”  The bastard just laughed, continuing to attack you with his lips and teeth.  “Ah!  Papa, I will call Imperator, I swear to Satan.”

With a huff he pulled away, although he kept his arms tight around you.  When you noticed his pout you couldn’t help but giggle and lean in to kiss him.  The man was infuriatingly irresistible even when he was driving you crazy. 

“Fine, fine.  Ruin my fun.”  The pouting continued, even when you kissed him again.  “Here I am, thinking you would have missed me after all these months.  Missed my touch and my kisses.  I guess I was wrong.”

“Don’t be such a baby!”  You nipped at his full bottom lip this time, pulling it between your teeth to sooth it with your tongue briefly before leaning away.  “Terzo, I promise that if you are very very good and take a nice long nap we can have some fun after.  Okay?”

His face brightened and he snuggled closer, his hands traveling up and down your back possessively.  

“You promise, amore?”

“I promise.”  

His bright smile was beautiful, as was everything else about him.  You had to kiss him again, a soft one that you reserved for quiet moments like this.  He pulled away, still smiling, and reached up to cup your cheek.

“Then we better get started, eh?  The sooner we wake up the sooner we can have some of that fun you’ve promised me.”

You snorted while you settled yourself more comfortably against him.  Resting your head on his shoulder and one hand on his chest.  His heart beat steadily beneath it, a reminder that he was here with you again.  Terzo’s breathing was evening out and you soon heard the soft snores he insisted he never did.  You closed your eyes and focused on falling asleep yourself, wanting to get some rest along with your Papa.

You wanted the fun to start soon too.

~ Naps With Copia series masterpost ~

If you'd like to be added/removed from the tag list (or if I accidentally left your name off) of this fic or any of my others please leave a comment or send me a dm! Thank you 💙

My Masterlist ~ My Archive of our Own ~ My Ko-Fi Tip Jar

[t-lostinworlds]

Be(tter) In Reality With Me | Bucky Barnes

》 PAIRING: bucky barnes x pregnant!female!reader

》 TROPE/GENRE: established relationship (marriage), angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

》 SUMMARY: Bucky needed to remind you how he would never ever betray you, especially when the him in your dreams was showing you otherwise.

》 WARNINGS: bad dreams/nightmares, pregnancy & baby stuff, mentions of: infidelity, miscarriage, anxiety, toxic past relationships; implied smut at the start (nothing graphic), pet names (doll, my love, sweetheart), overprotective!husband!bucky (he’s a hoverer), some hurt, so much comfort, very fluffy moments a.k.a. happy ending obvs.

》 WORD COUNT: 6.5k+

A/N: this is another unplanned one, like i really just started writing this a few days ago. well, i’ve been toying with the idea for a while but i just never got around to writing/thinking of the perfect premise for it. i coud’ve gone the crack route but you get angst instead. but anyway, this is barely proofread, idk how this turned out. and i know ‘husband fever’ isn't a thing but i honestly got it while writing this soooo hope you enjoy it too!

📍 BLOG NAVIGATION ✩ B. BARNES MASTERLIST ✩ MAIN MASTERLIST ✩

⊱ ─────.⋅♚ *｡･ﾟ.★. *｡･ﾟ✫*.

The disappointment was sharp in your chest as you trudged towards the front door of your home, fingers curled around an unopened envelope that felt heavier than any normal piece of paper should.

Your husband was supposed to be there with you.

Bucky was supposed to meet you at the clinic so you could find out your baby's gender together. But he hadn't been answering any of your messages or calls since this morning. Better yet, he'd been avoiding you all week. There had been more voicemails than there were replies. It was worrying because you two had been fine, things were normal the week before and now it felt as though he was avoiding you at all cost.

Yet the disappointment was quickly replaced by dread when you opened the front door.

The heels were what you saw first, a pair that you were sure wasn't yours. Even if there was a slightest chance that they were, they had no business being down here and not in your closet. Being pregnant, you hadn't worn heels in months.

Next were the scattered clothes, both familiar and not, a feminine scent lingering in the air that had your stomach turning in knots. They were the most horrid pieces of bread crumbs, one that you knew was leading you towards something vile and agonizing.

Your heartbeat was ringing in your ears as you ascended the stairs, each thump growing harsher to marry with your step. Your fingers trembled on your baby bump, the fluttering inside growing restless like a blaring alarm. When you reached the landing, that was when you heard it.

An enthusiastic creaking of the bed, salacious moans and grunts sinisterly harmonizing, unashamedly loud as if they weren't doing something so evil. It was deafening that you couldn't even hear your own heart shatter into pieces.

You wanted to turn around and leave, telling yourself that seeing the treacherous act would do more harm than good. But you didn't have control of your own body. You were pulling at your own hand, wanting to drag yourself away but to no avail as you kept walking.

The door was wide open when you reached it, shameless and uncaring of getting caught.

And you stood there, frozen, shattering into pieces as you watched your husband mold his naked body into another woman, his metal fingers tangled in her blonde hair, his hips driving back and forth recklessly, their faces contorted in pleasure while a picture of you and him on your wedding day stood on the nightstand.

It felt like a bullet to the heart when he lifted his head and met your eyes.

Gone were the soothing blues you'd called home, gone was the man you'd given your all, who you'd grown to love, to trust.

There were only dark gray hues laced with no guilt, no remorse, a face resembling the love of your life but was truly the Devil incarnate.

Hot tears rolled down your cheeks in quick succession, bile and air stuck in your throat, your heart stopping as something warmer, thicker with a metallic scent trickled down your leg.

He grinned.

You gasped.

•••

Bucky noticed how you'd been short with him lately.

Your kisses were less enthusiastic, his touches or any form of affection were being brushed off, your conversations turning brief, other times barely happening at all.

He tried to reason that you simply needed space, that maybe he was overbearing, overstimulating your senses by hovering around you too much. But, really, who could blame him for taking care of you and making sure his pregnant wife was healthy and safe?

But it was at night that his concern turned to suspicion, when you were facing away from him when you slept, muttering and mumbling, restless. It was when you'd flinch in surprise when he'd wake you up, eyes dazed with something else other than drowsiness. He'd ask you what was wrong, and each time you'd shake your head wordlessly and attempt to go back to sleep.

He remained patient though. It was the least he could do, especially in your state.

Still, that didn't mean he wasn't downright worried, especially when he found something uncanny about your behavior.

Bucky expected your irritability and annoyance. You snapping at him for something so mundane was a common thing he'd been facing lately and had certainly no qualms over. Your mind, emotions, and body were going through a lot and in waves, it was the bare minimum for him to understand. So he never took your harsh glares and clipped tones to heart.

But what was uncanny was the look of doubt, followed by a flicker of fear and then the heartbreak that would cross your face. It was in split seconds, when you see him on the phone, when he was out longer than he'd promised after getting you one of your weird cravings, when he came back late at night after a spontaneous outing with the guys when Wanda and Nat all but kicked him out since it was their turn to pamper you.

Bucky had a feeling that something was wrong. He simply couldn't put a finger as to what.

The nagging voice in the back of his head only grew when Sam and Sarah were in town. It was a surprise visit, so they didn't catch you in time.

You were already out with your mother, a rocky relationship that you hoped would start to mend over baby clothes and strollers.

"Bucky! Come on!" Sarah groaned playfully when he refused to tell them the gender of the baby.

He wanted you to disclose it, and he certainly wasn't going to do it without you by his side. You found out together, it was only fair you tell people the news together, too.

The harsh slam of the front door silenced everyone.

Bucky knew it was you right away, rushing to meet you in the hallway when he heard the intensity of your heartbeat and the sharpness of your breaths, footsteps hurried as if you'd been running.

"Hey," he said softly, cupping your face in his hands, his heart clenching at the sight of your stricken features. "What's wrong?"

It took you a minute to respond, eyes flickering between his face and over his shoulder, like you were looking for something. Bucky watched your body slowly relax when Sam and Sarah followed closely behind him.

It only confused him more.

"You feeling okay?" he asked, thumb stroking your warm cheek as he gently placed the other on your stomach.

"Y-Yeah, I thought—" You shook your head, finally meeting his eyes with a sad smile. "Mom canceled last minute."

"Oh I'm sorry, sweetheart," he sighed, pulling you into his arms, kissing the top of your head when you let out a shaky breath, cheek pressed on his chest as you wrapped your arms around his waist.

Bucky knew how you were truly looking forward to this day. You'd been carefully dividing your lists into two so you could buy things with your mother and then with him, too.

"We'll just get those on our shopping trip, okay?" he murmured against your crown, hands rubbing soothing patterns on your back. Glancing behind him, he added with a lighter tone, "Or you can give Sam the list and he'll just gift us everything."

"Oh I would gladly do it," The self—not really—proclaimed uncle agreed. "If Buckaroo here will finally tell us whether we're having a niece or a nephew."

Bucky scoffed, "You know you can choose gender-neutral colors, right?"

"Oh no, I'm not talking about colors," Sam said, grinning. "I'm talking about quantity."

"Are you saying the niece gets more?" you asked with a soft laugh as you pulled away. The sound brushed away Bucky's worry, if only briefly, as he felt the tension leave your body. Still, his arm remained on your waist as you turned to your guests, his thumb rubbing soft circles as a means of comfort.

"Obviously," Sam confirmed, rolling his eyes playfully. "Gotta treat her like a princess."

"Can't argue with that." Bucky turned to you with an encouraging nod. "You want to put them out of their misery?"

"Well, you're having…" you trailed off, smile widening, eyes twinkling as a joyful glow kissed your face. The exact reason why Bucky loved letting you tell the news and being there when you did so. "A nephew."

The contrast between the siblings' reactions was amusing. Sarah erupted into a cheer resembling happiness and victory, while Sam all but threw his head back with a groan. Bucky still saw his friend try his best to hide a smile, though.

"I told you!" Sarah playfully smacked his brother on the arm. "A mother's intuition is never wrong."

"Yeah, yeah," Sam rolled his eyes, before turning to you with a proud grin, arms wide open. "Come here you."

You chuckled as you walked into his embrace, mumbling a soft "Thank you" at his congratulations. Sarah hugged you next, all teary yet happy smiles and sweet words as you both wandered to sit in the living room, the mother of two boys already gushing to you about endless advice.

"I'm happy for you man," Sam said as he pulled Bucky into a hug, patting his back before pulling away with narrowed eyes. "You better be taking care of her."

"Of course I am," Bucky scoffed, turning to watch you with a fond smile as you chatted animatedly, excitement evident in your well-being. "Hell, she might even be getting annoyed with my overbearing ass."

"Well, it's better to be overbearing than absent," Sam stated.

Bucky couldn't agree more.

Because fine, maybe he was being too much by always keeping an eye out for you even though you were safe and sound, lounging on the couch as Sam started pestering you about naming the baby after him. But if he wasn't, then he would've missed the way your smile slipped from time to time, shoulders slumping with exhaustion before you'd catch yourself and sit straight up and pretend your energy was still high.

He was thankful that Sam was perceptive enough to catch it too, along with the hints Bucky was throwing his way. So they cut their visit short, understanding that you needed to get some rest even if you hadn't explicitly said so.

Bucky was right on his call when the second the front door shut closed, your body visibility deflated, the day finally catching up with you.

He was probably hovering like a goddamn helicopter, trailing behind you when you did as much as walk from the living room to the bathroom, and then waiting for you outside the door. But if he hadn't, he would've missed your soft sniffles on the other side and the far-away look in your eyes once he'd checked on you twice after taking way too long inside than how you normally took.

If Bucky hadn't been overbearing, he would've missed the signs that something was bothering you, like something was eating away at your conscience.

"Hey, come here," he called for you later that night, sitting on the edge of the bed and beckoning you closer with his hands outstretched. Tangling your fingers together, he pulled you to stand in front of his opened legs, kissing your bump before resting his cheek on it, looking up at you with nothing but concern. "Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"Yeah," you breathed out, attempting to smile but it didn't quite reach your eyes. "Just tired."

That only made his worry grow more.

It was something he'd noticed lately, too, how you'd been having trouble sleeping, much less, staying asleep. Most of the time, once you were comfortable in bed, it only took you a minute or two before you were out like a light.

At first, Bucky thought it was because you were nearing the end of your second trimester. It was to be expected, according to the countless pregnancy books he'd buried his face in and the weekly pregnancy calendar he found on the internet—which showed how big the baby was, what symptoms you were likely to feel and ways to aid you through it, how many weeks there were left, exercises to keep you comfortable and healthy and so on—he used as a guide.

But he didn't think nightmares were supposed to be part of it.

Bucky knew they weren't merely innocent dreams because you were always so shaken when he'd wake you up. There was always a sting settling in his chest when you'd pull away from his touch for a good few moments, eyes avoiding his as you tried to catch your breath. You'd only crawl back into his arms once your heart had settled into a calm rhythm, the haze in your irises never truly gone but faded.

You never told him what your dreams consisted of and Bucky never pushed.

He couldn't. Not with the risk of upsetting you even more. All he could do was remain patient. He knew you would tell him eventually. 

Bucky just wished it didn't have to take your breaking point for that to happen.

•••

The mumbling was what stirred him awake.

Bucky quickly sat up to check on you, his frown growing deeper once he saw your features littered with distress.

Yet before he had the chance to gently take you away from your troubled slumber, you suddenly shot up with a distressed shout,

"No!"

Your sobs immediately hit his ears, your frantic hands pulling the sheets away as if they were suffocating you. Your body trembled, chest heaving as you hastily checked your bump before you trailed your fingers down your inner thighs, bringing them up to your line of sight as if you were expecting to see something horrible coating your skin.

Dread clutched at Bucky's heart when the inkling as to what you expected to see evaded his mind.

"Hey, hey, hey," he rushed, kneeling in front of you and grabbing your face in his hands in an attempt to snap you out of your panic. Tear-filled eyes met his and his heart broke at the utter fear and agony that covered your face.

He pressed his forehead against yours, never looking away as he kept one cold hand on your burning and wet cheek and took yours with the other. He pressed your palm above his heart, hoping that it would help ground you.

"Breathe, sweetheart," he coaxed, inhaling deeply, encouraging you to follow, exhaling once you did. He took your other hand and pressed it against his jaw, letting his warm breath flow over your palm to help aid you in steadying your breathing. "That's it, my love, breathe with me."

Bucky repeated the action as many times he could, marrying it with encouraging words, only stopping when he could hear your heart slow to a steady beat.

"Y-You—" You choked back a whimper, burying your face into his neck as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, gripping him tightly. "I-I'm okay."

It sounded more like a question than it was a statement to Bucky.

"You're okay," he reassured firmly, kissing your forehead and steadying your shaking hands over your stomach. "You both are."

Silence covered the room aside from your deep breaths, the soft rustling of the sheets following suit as Bucky shifted to sit behind you, guiding you between his legs until your back was pressed against his chest. You rested all your weight on him, his hands covering your own as he coaxed them to move in slow circles over your stomach. He littered your shoulder with soft kisses, trailing up the side of your neck then your cheek, moving back down as he whispered sweet reassurances.

"You wouldn't do that to me, w-would you?" you asked after a moment.

"Do what, my love?"

Your voice came out as a broken whisper, as if you were scared to say it any louder, as if it would come true if you did.

"Cheat on me."

Bucky's answer was immediate.

"No." He gently turned you around in his arms, your legs thrown over his thigh as you sat sideways. Taking your face in his hand, he nudged the tip of your nose with his to get you to look at him, to let you see the truth in his eyes, emotions bared and unhidden. "I would never."

You nodded meekly before dropping your head, his lips touching your crown.

"Sweetheart, hey," he whispered, fingers finding your chin to prevent you from hiding again. His frown deepened when you met his gaze, the pain and conflict coating your dulled irises doing nothing to ease his worries. "Where is this coming from?"

But with one look at your trembling form and troubled eyes, Bucky's heart sank at the realization.

"Doll…" He took a deep breath, thumb stroking your cheek tenderly. "Is this what you've been dreaming of lately?"

Bucky never expected for such a small nod to break his heart so much.

"I-I watched you and—"

"No, no, no," he interrupted, shaking his head vehemently, kissing the tip of your nose, and then each of your eyelids. "You don't have to tell me right now. I don't want you to dwell on it for too long."

"I have to get out," you whispered yet your tone was adamant, fingers starting to nervously fiddle with his vibranium ones.

Bucky hesitated for a moment. He didn't want to stress you out more than you already were. But when you squeezed his hand reassuringly, he sighed, offering you a small yet supportive smile. "Okay. But don't force it, please, sweetheart. I don't want you getting upset even more."

You nodded.

Bucky listened.

He listened with bated breath as you recounted your dreams, his heart tearing itself apart, piece by piece with each gruesome detail you managed to stutter out. Heels. Clothes. Stairs. Sounds. Bedroom. Bodies. Picture Frame.

Bucky made sure to remind you to take your time and take deep breaths, it's just a bad dream, wiping away your tears as he held you close in his arms, you're my everything, littering whichever part of you he could reach with soft kisses to remind you were here, present in reality with him, and that you're okay.

Bucky never thought he'd feel inhumane anger over a version of himself that wasn't and would never be part of reality. He'd honestly die first. Yet, even then, he still couldn't picture subjecting you to such awful betrayal and hurt.

If he could jump into your dreams and excruciatingly make that asshole pay, no matter if it was some version of him, he would do it over and over and over again. No questions asked.

"And t-then there was b-blood," you took a sharp breath, a knife into Bucky's chest as fresh tears escaped your eyes, your grip around his hand tightening. "I-I lost our—"

"That's enough," Bucky interrupted, voice soft yet hoarse as a lump lodged itself in his throat, blinking away his unshed tears. With one hand on the back of your head, he pressed his lips against your brow. "It's just a nightmare, sweetheart."

"It f-felt so real," you choked back a sob, shaking your head as if you were hoping it would rid the images away. 

"This is real," Bucky said, placing your palm on his cheek, the other on your baby bump with his own hands covering yours. "You're okay. Our baby boy is okay. We are going to be okay."

You nodded, taking deep, shaky breaths as you brought his palm to your lips. You kissed it a few times, three more before you wrapped his arms around your form, leaning forward to bury your face into his neck.

"I would never do that to you," he murmured against the side of your head, rubbing gentle circles on your back. "You trust me, right?"

"I do!" you said, eyes frantically looking into his with all the reassurance you could muster despite your tiredness, lips trembling as you repeated, "I trust you with everything that I have. I trust you with my life, Buck—"

He nodded. He knew you did. He didn't feel any ounce of uncertainty in your voice, didn't see any assumption that he was capable of being unloyal in your eyes. Maybe that was where your conflict came from, your heart battling with the lies your subconscious was feeding you.

This wasn't about the strength of your trust in him. This was something else entirely.

"Who put this in your head, hmm?"

Bucky knew you well enough, how you sometimes got too into your overthinking mind. Your past relationships definitely contributed to that fact. Toxicity to downright emotional abuse and various infidelities from previous boyfriends, it was no surprise that you came out of those relationships scarred.

You went to therapy when you finally had the resources to, and Bucky was always there to support you, told you it was nothing to be ashamed of. Hell, he was going to individual sessions himself, much less frequently compared to his earlier years, but the path to healing was never linear. He even suggested couples counseling—once a month at best, twice on the bad ones. Not because something was broken with your relationship, but only as a tool to be able to understand each other more, to keep things healthy between you both.

It helped tremendously.

You'd grown to shine brighter each day, letting yourself be free of the doubtful voices and instead accept and own that you were deserving to be loved, strongly, loyally, and unconditionally.

Now, after being together for eight years—three in a relationship and five years of marriage—you and Bucky were stronger, healthier, happier. And with a baby boy on the way, he knew it would only strengthen your bond, adding more joy and love to your little family.

But recently, your pregnancy hadn't been easy on your mental state. With your body preparing itself to welcome new life into this world, to your hormones fluctuating, it only heightened your emotions, and that included the bad ones.

So it wasn't far-fetched for your anxious thoughts to grow like weeds in your head, unrelenting and parasitic with no means of stopping unless you pluck it out from the root. But for the first sprout to emerge, someone had to have planted that seed first.

"Remember when I went on that 'girl's night in' get-together?"

Bucky sighed. That was two weeks ago. He should've known that your quietness when you got home was something to be worried about. Even more when it was roughly the same time you started having trouble sleeping. To think that you had to deal with your dreams alone for that long—

He pulled you closer, rubbing your arms with a kiss on your forehead. "Yeah, I remember."

"Do you remember Karla?"

Bucky remembered her too. He only met her once when you brought him as your plus one to her engagement party. Now, he wasn't the type of person who was quick to pass judgment on people, especially at the first meeting. But first impressions? She hadn't exactly been the best, too forward and sometimes, rude for Bucky's liking. But she was your friend, so he let it slide.

"She arrived late. She was already very drunk and distraught," you continued once Bucky confirmed with a nod. "We immediately tried to console her, get her to calm down, but she just wouldn't let go of the bottle of whisky, started grabbing the wine the girls were having and chugging it down too. Turns out, she walked in on her fiancé with her best friend in their living room."

Bucky pressed his lips against your crown with a sigh, rubbing circles on your back as he let you pick at the metal plates of his arm. It was a nervous habit. Yet you also said it was comforting, grounding, getting to feel the coldness of the prosthetic.

"Then she looked at me and saw my bump—God that dress didn't really hide much, huh?" you chuckled, voice void of humor.

Bucky loved that dress on you, and he showed you just how much before driving you to that get-together. It was a shame that the memory was now tainted.

"B-But, I don't know, it was probably because I was the only married one in our group, o-or she was just that drunk but she started targeting me," you paused with a deep breath, eyes meeting his with a shake of your head as fresh tears gathered on your waterline.

"She started yelling at me and telling me that I was rubbing it in her face, what she could've had. And then she started screaming how you would do the same any day now, if you weren't already doing it because it was obvious you won't like it that my body is changing and getting bigger a-and that you'd find some slimmer model and she told me to leave you before it's too late and I just—"

Bucky felt hot white rage grip him.

He couldn’t care less what other people's opinions of him were. With what his past life was, he learned not to let it get to him. He should feel insulted, to hear the disrespect against his morals to downright questioning his loyalty to his wife, especially from someone he couldn't give a shit about.

But he wasn't mad about that. Oh no.

He was furious about what you had to endure.

The audacity of someone to make you upset and stressed, especially in your current condition, had him outraged. No one, absolutely no one had the right to raise their voice, much less, fucking yell at you. He didn't care if it was the president of some country, a powerful alien or a close family friend—

Nobody disrespects his wife.

"You know none of that is true," he said as calmly as he could despite wanting to give that 'friend' of yours a piece of his mind. Cupping your face with both hands, he brushed his thumbs against the corner of your lips. "Hell, I showed you how much I love your changing body earlier that day in the kitchen, didn't I?"

That managed to coax a giggle from you, faint and teary but he still took it as a win.

"Look, what happened to your friend was awful. I wouldn't ever wish that on anyone," he said, jaw clenching. "But for her to bring you down with her while you're pregnant? That's just cruel."

"I'm sorry," you whispered sadly, pressing his palm on your lips. "I shouldn’t have let her words get to me."

"Sweetheart, no, you did nothing wrong," Bucky insisted. "Your emotions are all over the place as is, your hormones even more. And I know how impressionable you get when your anxiety is high and, fuck, you must've been so stressed when she basically berated you in front of everyone I just—" He took a deep breath, pressing his forehead against yours. "I wish you could've told me sooner."

"I was worried you'd take it the wrong way," you admitted shakily. "Because I do trust you, but things got loud in my head and I just—"

"I know," he hummed, smiling reassuringly. "I know, doll. You don't have to explain it to me."

You sighed, nodding, your body slowly relaxing with a hint of a grateful smile touching your lips. And with the weight slowly falling off your shoulders, your drowsiness followed suit—the fluttering of your eyelids, the calmness of your breaths as you all but rested on him.

Bucky fluffed your pregnancy pillow before gently guiding you to a comfortable position, kissing your forehead, the tip of your nose before pressing his lips gently onto yours. He hummed at your satisfied sigh, hands caressing your body, pouring as much of his love into every simple touch as he could muster.

"You're my whole world, my everything," he whispered to you and you only, the person who matters to him the most. "I would never put myself in a position where I'd even risk losing the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Bucky's brows furrowed when he felt a flutter against his palm where he'd rested it on your bump.

"I think someone's a little jealous," you teased softly, fingers pushing his hair away from his forehead.

"Now, we can't have that," he chuckled, shifting his body until he was face-to-face with your belly. He pulled at your shirt, revealing your skin before littering each part and stretch marks with loving kisses. Smiling, he corrected himself, "One of the best things that's ever happened to me."

His grin grew wider as you started carding your fingers through his hair. He could honestly fall asleep like this, resting on your bump with your loving touches.

"Say, you're going to kick my ass if I hurt Mama, wouldn't you, squirt?" he murmured against your tummy, his heart lurching when he felt a faint kick. Bucky gaped at you, chuckling at your giggles before pressing his lips back on your skin. "Gonna be a mama's boy I can already tell."

"I love you," you said, eyes glistening but with the smile that graced your face, Bucky knew they were happy tears this time.

"And I love you," he hummed, resting his cheek on your bump to meet your gaze, his fingers tracing hearts on your skin. "Both of you."

•••

"Doll, you don't have to do this."

"They're going to be here in an hour."

"I know but you shouldn't be on your feet too much."

"Exercise is good for pregnant women," you said, tilting your head at your husband with a knowing grin. "You told me that, according to the books you've read."

"I know what I said," Bucky groaned, hands finding your hips as he tried to gently steer you to sit on the chair, again. "But in moderation, you've been standing for—"

"Five minutes since you last made me sit down," you giggled, continuing to set up the dinner table with the snacks and appetizers you had set up. The main meal was kept warm in the oven.

It was your turn to host the get-together your friend group had once a month. And being in your third trimester, you were unable to stay up too late. So you opted on having a small brunch instead of the usual nightly gathering.

"Then, let me take care of the rest, please?" he begged, wrapping his arms around your form to stop your movements, lips pressed on the thin strap of your sundress. And if he wasn't overly cautious about your well-being, he probably would've already carried you to bed to let you rest. "Just sit and order me around."

Now, who could deny that offer?

Bucky was a great husband.

You knew this and he had done nothing but actively prove that to you time and time again.

You knew you shouldn't have let yourself get to a point of spiraling deep into your anxious thoughts that they started to affect your dreams somehow. But it honestly got overwhelming so quickly that you didn't get the chance to snap out of it. Worse yet, it made you dig the hole deeper and deeper by keeping it to yourself.

It was a lapse in judgment and, as Bucky had said, your emotions were all over the place. Not to mention, the situation wasn't at all pleasing, getting yelled at in front of an audience was awful already, a recipe for anxious disaster. What more if your hormones were making everything ten times worse?

Your friend simply caught you at the wrong moment.

The same friend that was going to be coming over in a few minutes.

You didn't tell Bucky yet because you knew he would never let her into the house. But you were willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. She was drunk and hurting that night, emotions probably driving her rash decisions. Granted you hadn't spoken to her since, but she probably didn't mean what she had said.

Or so you thought.

After shooting you an admonishing look when he recognized who walked into the door last, Bucky was back in Pilot Mode.

It's what you named his hovering because he did go into certain modes when taking care of you, even if he argued otherwise. And despite having agreed that he was going to give you and the girls space—and he had been sulking in his office as he watched whatever game there was on—it rapidly changed when the party moved to your backyard.

The sun was at its peak in the clear blue sky, warmth evident in the air despite sitting under the shade of the large patio umbrella Bucky installed himself.

First, it was pulling you aside for some sunscreen, lathering your skin up as he lectured you about taking sips of water every now and then to stay hydrated and to go back inside if it got too hot. Then, it was standing in the kitchen, right by the open window where he had a clear view of you, discreetly observing even though his large stature was making him so obvious. Your friends had giggled about it since most did find it endearing. That last one was him bursting out of the backdoor with a cold glass of water and a clean towel in hand, wiping away any sweat that littered your skin and urging you to drink, parting away with a chaste yet loving kiss.

It was what made Karla snap.

"God, I can't believe you still fall for that shit," she scoffed once your husband had gone back inside. "Like, seriously, have you ever heard of love bombing?"

Everyone went silent at that.

"He's overprotective," you countered, though you could already start to feel your heart rate start to increase.

"More like he's overcompensating for something," she grumbled, rolling her eyes. "He was a trained assassin back in the day, wasn't he? Surely he'd learned a thing or two about hiding secrets."

"Karla, drop it," Grace, a friend truly close to you, hissed with a sharp glare.

"I'm trying to save her from yet another heartbreak," she argued, before turning to you. "Like we all know how gullible and naïve you can get, a few romantic gestures and you're already blinded. I mean, considering your track record of cheaters, you should already know the signs. I know I see them with how your husband's been doting on you. It's the same thing the asshole did to me."

Your hands shook as you held the glass of water tighter, tears threatening to spill as you gritted, "Bucky is not the same—"

"Jesus, you need to open your eyes!" Karla interrupted. "I never expected you to still be this stupid—"

"That's enough."

Bucky's voice boomed through the air, his looming presence immediately behind you with a protective arm around your waist. Emotions at a high, you didn't even realize you stood up from your seat. You tried catching his gaze, but he was glaring at Karla who had now quieted down, shrinking in her place.

"I don't care about your assumptions about my morals and character because your opinion doesn't matter to me. So say whatever you want to say about me. But the second you disrespect my wife—" Bucky screwed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, reeling back his anger when he felt your hand on his arm.

Opening his eyes, he turned to look at you. You shook your head, not wanting to make this any bigger. He sighed, taking your hand and kissing your knuckles and then your ring before turning to Karla.

"I love making my wife happy, and she'd been looking forward to this get-together to catch up with friends. But she isn't supposed to be around any kind of stressors during her pregnancy," he said, glare dead set on your so-called friend, voice dropping as he gritted, "So get out of my fucking house."

"Buck—"

"Doctor's orders, my love. I can call her right now if you want." He gave you a sweet, knowing smile. You nodded because you knew there was no point arguing with him. Bucky turned to your friend when she refused to move. "Well? Do you want me to drag you out?"

Karla gaped at everyone, waiting for someone to protest, huffing and puffing when she found no support. It didn't take long for her to gather her things and for the front door to slam shut.

The silence hung in the air for a good minute.

"Good fucking riddance," Grace scoffed, the tension breaking as a chorus of agreement came out from everyone. "I honestly don't get why you still invited her."

"Too kind for her own good," Bucky said, raising his brow at you. You shook your head at him with a soft laugh, squeezing his hand gratefully.

"You're in your guard dog mode again," you teased.

Bucky rolled his eyes, but didn't bother denying it. That only made you grin wider.

"Well, this is supposed to be a girls' thing so I'll leave you ladies to your own devices." He nodded at everyone, giving you a sweet peck on the lips before making his way back into the house, even though you knew he was only going back to his station in the kitchen.

As soon as he was gone, everyone started gushing at you.

"You're so lucky but God you deserve it!"

"Girl, you need to set me up with a friend of his, like surely they're going to be roughly the same, right?"

"Honestly, I'm glad you're getting your happy ever after."

"Does he use that deep voice on you in bed?"

"Oh my god!" you squeaked at the last one, covering your warm face with your palms. When you peeked between your fingers, the girls were all looking at you with expectant grins, brows wriggling. You sighed, "Maybe."

They all erupted into delighted laughs at that, the conversation turning into a slightly salacious turn as they started trading in stories—both good and horrendous—and asking you for some advice on how to keep a guy satisfied or even just to spill the beans on what you and your husband get up to in bed.

Obviously, you didn't kiss and tell—well, not in too much detail. You still couldn't help but sing Bucky's praises. Of course you had to give credit where credit is due.

It was a few moments in when you caught Bucky's gaze in the open window. His wink and that handsome yet smug—his ego inflated that's for sure—smile was enough to tell you that he was listening in like the goddamn nosy super soldier that he was.

You rolled your eyes, yet your joyous smile wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Because to be in reality with James Buchanan Barnes, your husband, the love of your life, was way better than any dream you could ever have.

✫*｡･ﾟ.★. *｡･ﾟ♛ *.

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[enzstr]

Only You || K. Bakugo

Pairing: Bakugo x Reader

synopsis: starz26708 and Dino.tnt609, two students who first met in an online chatroom. A friendship had flourished between them. With the strong need to meet each other, 6aku.tnt609 slowly gains curiosity regarding the other's identity, which sparked the desire to meet her within him. What could possibly go wrong?

💭: btw, this is inspired from the Chad Michael Murray and Hilary Duff movie A Cinderella's Story!!

words: 1.8k

Chapter 1: Morning and Night.

Dino.tnt609: “I need to know who you are?”

Dino.tnt609: “I can’t take my mind off you.”

Dino.tnt609: “Please tell me who you are?”

starz26708: “Soon, I promise.”

Reader’s POV:

It all started with a chatroom, where two people have the same interest, same mindset, basically the same person but opposite genders. That’s when our friendship started. I learnt to know everything about him but his name and how he looks, and honestly that never bothered me. I was really ecstatic to text with a person who I don’t really know, yet at the same time I knew everything about him. 

Both of us would text each other for hours without stopping, and everytime we did, I always had a smile plastered to my face. Those words he used were what caught my attention. The way he uses words was exceptionally poetic to me and I never want him to stop. Many times I have doubted that he’s real and could be just some dumb person fooling around, however my gut didn’t think so. 

starz26708: “We’ve been texting for hours and it’s getting so late!”

Dino.tnt609: “And we can still keep going, no?”

I laughed at his reply to my message and typed out my last reply before heading to bed.

starz26708: “Very funny. I need to head to sleep now.”

starz26708: “Goodnight, Dino.”

After I sent that text, my body went limp into my bed and slept soundly with the desire to meet this “Dino” guy.

On the following day, the morning sun bathed the world in a brilliant golden hue, its gentle touch bringing a sense of peace and clarity, accompanied by the chirping of birds and rustling of leaves, the only sounds in the peaceful summer morning.

As the engine’s soft whir filled the air, the sun’s rays streamed through the glass window. The radio played a familiar tune in the car, and me and my best friend, Cece, chatted excitedly about the new hit song that was gaining traction in newspaper articles, laughter breaking the silence as the car drove towards the school.

As I was about to park your car into the perfect spot in the near-empty parking lot, another vehicle suddenly cut into the space just before me, causing me to slam on the brakes in surprise. Frustration washed over me and I let out a frustrated sigh, realising I would have to find another spot now.

“Damn, why didn’t they see we were about to park there? I’m about to throw hands man, I swear to god!”

“They’re not bad! ‘M pretty sure they never saw us and it’s fine, I’ll find a new parking spot!” I tried to reassure my best friend who was sitting in the passenger seat with a scowl on her face. 

At that moment, my eyes narrowed in annoyance as the man I strongly disliked emerged from his vehicle, Bakugo Katsuki. I couldn't help but scoff at his audacity as he slammed the car door shut. His presence instantly annoyed me, and my gaze lingered on him with a mixture of annoyance and disdain as he casually strolled towards the building with his friends. Why do I dislike him? My dislike for him began to build from the moment I met him. His cocky attitude and arrogant demeanour immediately rubbed me the wrong way, and his tendency to constantly boast about himself only got me even more frustrated. He often looked down on others and had a habit of interrupting conversations, which only added to my growing dislike of him.

Our gazes met, but instead of the usual welcoming eye contact, a wave of tension filled the air. The way our eyes locked in a stern and serious manner reflected the dislike and annoyance we felt towards each other. His friend group that included Denki, Mina, Kirishima and Sero looked towards my face then at his, as if we’re having a staring competition. 

His friends pulled him away and bowed in an apologetic manner as Cece did the same. Soon after they were gone, I regained my consciousness and drove to an empty parking lot without anyone disturbing me, until Cece had a confused look all over her face. We both hurriedly ran into the school to prevent being late, and gladly we weren’t. The school hallways were filled with shouts and loud chattering of students, and students rushing in all places to reach their classes on time. The hallways were packed with people, the cramped space making it harder to find your classes. The air was filled with the sound of voices and footsteps, as students chattered excitedly or hurried along to their classrooms. Unfortunately that was where we both had to separate and head to our own classes. Of course you find Bakugo in the same class as you are in this year, again. Every year bad luck would always be with you when it comes to matters like this, but you tried not to show any reaction and handled it professionally.

Bakugo’s POV:

My attention wavered between the teacher's lecture and the thoughts swirling in my mind. I couldn't help but think about the girl I’ve always been texting, someone I had only known through a computer screen, and I don’t even know who her identity is. Our conversations replayed in my head, and I longed to know more about her in person. My gaze occasionally darted to my phone, checking for any new messages, but the lack of communication only seemed to strengthen my growing feelings for her.

Hell, it is strange that I feel like this towards someone whom I’ve never met face to face, but with her, it’s like I can be myself. Not that grumpy and serious demeanour, but my authentic self. Despite our connection being online, I found a sense of comfort with her. I found myself opening up to her, sharing my true thoughts and feelings without the fear of judgement or rejection. Something about connecting with her through the computer screen allowed me to be my authentic self, and I valued the genuine connection we had built despite the distance between us.

The sudden loud ring of the school bell startled me, causing my head to jolt up as the realization that school had ended hit me. The classroom erupted with the sounds of shuffling desks and bags being packed, signalling freedom that came with the end of the school day.

With a subtle sense of anticipation, I instinctively grabbed my phone from my pocket and checked for any new messages or notifications. My fingers swiped across the screen as I opened my messaging app, eager to see if she had reached out to me in the time I had been in class.

Dino.tnt609: “Where have you been? We haven’t talked in ages.”

Barely five minutes had passed when my phone vibrated, signalling a new message notification. I quickly checked the screen and saw that she had responded, a wave of anticipation and excitement washing over me as I read her reply.

starz26708: Gee you missed me that much?

starz26708: I just finished school. 

Dino.tnt609: I  can’t stop thinking about you.

Dino.tnt609: What’s on your mind right now?

starz26708: You first.

Dino.tnt609: Well I’m thinking that Mr. Aizawa would 100% be a caterpillar.

I couldn't help but turn my head and look around, noticing the sea of students in the hallway, all engrossed in their own little worlds as they tapped away at their phones, engaging in conversations or scrolling through social media. The sound of keyboards clicking and the occasional laugh or gasp filled the air, she could be anywhere.

starz26708: LOL

starz26708: I can actually see that!

Dino.tnt609: Oh, I want to hear your laugh.

Dino.tnt609: When can we finally meet?

starz26708: Soon!

I was walking down the hallway, reading through the last text she sent to me on my phone and completely engrossed in my screen, when I suddenly felt a hard bump. Looking up, I found myself face to face with her, the girl I had a strained relationship with, y/n. Our eyes met, and almost instinctively, my expression twisted into a scowl, mirroring the mutual dislike we held for each other. I couldn't help but feel frustrated that we kept running into each other in this annoying and seemingly endless way.

“Watch where you’re going.” I could hear the groan in her tone after she replied, seemingly rolling her eyes at me too.

“Your fault for not looking.”

After our brief and tense exchange, I felt a sense of irritation and frustration wash over me, and I know she did too. We both groaned in annoyance and hurried past each other, eager to put some distance between us and forget about the unpleasant interaction we just had.

Third person’s POV:

Y/n was in a busy computer room, surrounded by a sea of students working on their respective screens. Despite the crowded space, she began typing messages to her online friend, Kat.tnt609,  trying to maintain a casual air while sitting amongst the other students. 

starz26708: Ever feel like you don’t belong?

Dino.tnt609: Absolutely.

Dino.tnt609: I can be surrounded by a sea of people and still feel all alone.

Dino.tnt609: Then I think of you.

Her face immediately lit up as she read the text, a slow and genuine smile spreading across her features, transforming her expression from one of neutrality to one of pleasant surprise and happiness.

starz26708: Hey Dino, do you think we’ve ever met?

Dino.tnt609: I don’t know.

Dino.tnt609: Our school has over 660 students.

She was busy typing a message to him on the school computer, completely unaware that the person on the other side of the screen was someone sitting in the very same room with her. Little did she know, the person she was communicating with was actually the opposite of what she had envisioned, right there under her nose, engaging in a secret yet intriguing exchange of words.

What started as an innocent text conversation between the two rapidly turned into a marathon chat session, with each message leading to another, until the clock hit 2 and they finally realized just how much time had passed in their conversation.

starz26708: It’s 2:00 a.m.

starz26708: We’ve been at this for 4 hours

Dino.tnt609: Hm, then I think we just broke our record.

starz26708: We should head to sleep. 

starz26708: Sweet dreams.

Dino.tnt609: Wait.

Dino.tnt609: My heart swells with admiration I can hardly keep. 

Dino.tnt609: For in your peaceful, soft expression,

Dino.tnt609: I see the best of what life has to offer, and no contradiction.

Dino.tnt609: For when you sleep, you are at your most beautiful,

Dino.tnt609: Like a precious gem, shining in the soft light of the night.

starz26708: New verse? Impressive.

starz26708: I like it.

Dino.tnt609: Please meet me at the school’s party.

Dino.tnt609: I’ll be waiting for you at 11:00 in the middle of the dance floor.

Dino.tnt609: Sweet dreams.

masterlist next >

enzstr © 2024. please don't steal, modify or copy my writing on any other platforms!

[catboybiologist]

Be honest: do you think there are femboys who aren't just eggs?

Yes, and tbh I resent that their existence is questioned so much. And I know this is gonna be considered a Bad Take by many people I've fostered a community with, so uh. Yeah.

As a former femboy, and current dykey/tomboyish trans woman, gender nonconformity within your actual gender is an essential part of a trans or genderqueer identity. In a lot of ways, my transition goals are the inverse of being a femboy- I'm going from a feminine man to a masculine woman. And yet, the trans community doesn't question my feminimity as a masculine woman in the same places where many people would question the masculinity of a feminine man. And don't even get me started on where NB identities fit into all of this. This is largely coming from the same place where people are okay with women wearing pants, but men or AMABs in general wearing skirts is Bad (tm).

Like don't get me wrong. The caricature of the Bad Trans pushing all the femboys to become eggs is a wildly overexaggerated, and I've met many, many femboys online that used that caricature to excuse rampant transphobia. But. I hate that there's a but. But.... I literally experienced it myself many times during my femboy days, especially online. Here's a short list:

-Had a transmed bombard me with harassing messages and comments on reddit telling me that I was a "fencesitter" and I just needed to "fucking transition already and stop making trans people look bad"

-Had a trans woman I knew irl shove an estradiol pill in my face, and try to order me to take it, in front of a group of people I wasn't even fully comfortable presenting as a femboy to, until she was eventually asked by someone else to stop.

-Had several comments indicating that I should be force femmed in femboy subreddits

-Had many, many DMs trying to tell me I was a "failed man" that should just transition already

And to clarify- all of this is so, so mild compared to transphobia that myself and others face. But it is a very real thing that happens. To many femboys, I think this is the first time they've received any kind of queerphobia or questioning of their identity, so it feels far worse in their heads than it really actually is. And, to be fair, I think it mostly happens from the more gender binary minded cis community than it comes from trans people- but as I've said, I've had it coming from trans women both irl and online.

I've also tangentially noticed that it seems to be transmed adjacent. Not saying that this anon is, or others who try to encourage femboys to explore their gender, but there certainly is a correlation. If its difficult for you to acknowledge cis gender nonconformity, then its easy to see that extending to a lack of understanding of nonbinary people or others with different trans experiences.

Every time one of these things happened, it didn't put me any closer to transition. It made me feel unsafe. It made me feel on the spot, and scared, and almost outed.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again- if you want historical parallels to femboys, we have a perfect example in drag. Drag is performative, over the top femininity that has become its own artform, style, and means of expression in a way that is intrinsically tied to gender nonconformity. Being a femboy is also all of those things. And guess what? Many drag queens have used it as a way to explore their own gender and realize that they're trans. There are also many who are cis, and remain confident in that identity. Is the percentage of trans people among people who have done drag at some point higher than the general population? Of fucking course- its one of the few places where exploring gender is encouraged and celebrated. Of course trans people flock to that. And the exact same thing is true of femboys. Are a higher proportion of femboys trans or eggs than the general population. Of course. It's a great venue for trans people to explore their identities. But even more of them are

Am I saying you're a bad person if you encourage femboys and gender nonconforming people to consider the possibility that they're trans? Of fucking course not. It was the gentle, affirming pressure with respect and care for my comfort levels from several incredible trans women I know irl that eventually made me confident enough to start HRT. Their continually support is a key factor in my social transition plans for the future. I needed that pressure, and I think everyone, including people who aren't actively engaging in gender nonconformity, needs some push to question their gender and start unlocking cis+. But to be blunt, questioning whether cis femboys even exist is not gentle, comfortable, and affirming pushes.

[st4rbe0m]

GIRLS LIKE BOYS LIKE ME !

how would enhypen prepare for their first date with you!

🩷 now playing - on melancholy hill by the gorillaz

🩷 contents - includes kissing! no gendered terms used but makeup is mentioned in Jake's. enha as losers who are trying their best™ on first dates

🩷 a/n - unlocked how to make gradient text im basically unstoppable now. this is my first time writing a headcanon sort of thing!! so I hope it's good. pls do reblog and leave comments - I would love to hear from readers :)

masterlist

HEESUNG would be the type to try and play it cool and then lose his mind then play it cool again like an on and off switch. He would ask Jay fashion advice super nonchalantly, but Jay would be able to see through his shit IMMEDIATELY lmao. But like the good friend Jay is, he helps Heesung pick out a cool yet not over-the-top fit. Definitely picks up flowers on the way so that they're fresh, and maybe even spritzes a bit of mouth freshener before ringing your doorbell because of course he ate onion rings before leaving the house out of nervousness •́‿,⁠•̀

I feel like he'd take you to an arcade for a first date - not only because it gives you both bonding time while playing games, but he also gets to show off his shooter skills in those lcd zombie games (the playing league all night is coming in clutch for him right now). Definitely also the type to stand at the claw machine for half an hour trying to get you a toy. "Seung it's always rigged, come on we can play another round of ice hockey instead." "It's not about being rigged anymore Y/N. It's a matter of pride and courage. Life or death." Like boy T-T it's never that serious king. Would walk you home while you clutch a GIGANTIC bear plushie that he may or may not have bribed some poor arcade worker for while pretending he won at the totally not rigged claw machine, which was concerning, but also very sweet. Sweet enough to warrant a kiss on the cheek by the end of the date ;)

JAY would literally be the most perfect, gentleman-ly guy and just drop dead gorgeous and AHDJKD sorry my first date feels for Jay are RAGING right now. Definitely would be jittery for sure, but is calm and level-headed. I feel like he's the type to ask you out on a date very traditionally after harbouring feelings for a while, watching from afar kind of like the XO music video you know, with the flower shop? Bouquet with red or white roses are a MUST and he'd extend his arm out for you to hold while he takes you out of your house (definitely the type to charm your parents that has them pushing you out the door because that boy is PERFECT)

He would probably take you out to a restaurant or OR hear me out - an in home date where he's kicked his members out somehow and has the living room set up like a restaurant with a table with some candles and dim lighting, food he prepared (house-husband material. wife him up right NOW.) so that he could show off his cooking skills. Wonderful date, would drop you off home as well. Honestly I don't see him kissing you on the first date because of all that chivalry you know, but don't worry he's just building it up to the more perfect moment to be your perfect boyfriend.

JAKE, this happy puppy would be so SO excited he'd be counting seconds up to when he would meet you :( He's so ADORABLE he would literally tell everyone knows about how he's scored a date with the finest person alive and then would proceed to spend a whole week just grinning in happiness cuz he's going on a date with you!!! I think more than flowers, he'd get you some sort of trinket or some chocolates as a gift :D and he'd be skipping along the way. TONS of compliments about your makeup and your outfit and just you in general.

I feel like he'd have a picnic-park sort of date thing setup, bonus if you have a dog because you best believe he'd be bringing Layla along. He'd ask his mom for help and pack the most scrumptious picnic ever, and just spend a day basking in the sun with you. The evening might even end up with you both walking hand-in-hand by the riverside, just chitchatting because this boy is a pro-yapper, and just enjoying each other's presence. Wonderful date that would end in a kiss wink wink ;) because he's just so so enamoured by you that he will literally lose his mind if he lets this shot go.

SUNGHOON is a loverboy at heart - as cool and chill he may seem on the outside you best believe he's giving that smile that makes his eyes crinkle while escorting you to your date. He's sharply dressed and has received the apropos speech from his sister about first date etiquettes even though he's quite a mindful man with great manners already. I see him getting white or pink tulips for the date.

He'd take you to a - I know it's a cliché, but an ice rink!! Because it's his element, and that confidence is what he wants to show you. That he's the one for you, or at least who he's trying to be. Sunghoon may seem like a player or someone who doesn't do serious attachment but with you, it just feels different. Giggling along with you and pushing you along gently, guiding you around the contours of the ice rink has his own heart doing pirouettes. And of course as clichè this is heading already, the date concludes with an accidental kiss that happens when you slip on the ice, bringing him down with you. You're both laughing at your hopeless nonexistent skating skills and all he can do in that moment is give you a small peck on the lips that makes his pale cheeks blush violently.

SUNOO is such a sweetheart, I have a feeling you would have already been friends for a while and that his feelings for you had been garnering for a while, until he just had to tell you. And so here he is, dressed down to a tee with the help of Jay's good fashion sense, and of course adding his own personal touch to it. This smitten cutie would be going all out with the gifts, trust. With a medium sized bouquet, he would also get a box of chocolates for you and maybe something else, like a scrunchie or a charm bracelet you'd mentioned you'd been eyeing for a while to him before.

Sunoo, in my mind, seems like such a pottery date kind of guy to me. He adores creativity and spending that time to do something a bit artsy with his favourite person just sounds so cute. He would maybe make a dish bowl sort of thing for him to keep at his sink for his skincare or balms or even vitamins, while you would make a key holder or a soap box. And he'd help you out with your paints, giving you ideas on what you could make, and listening to your inputs as well. Since you both were already friends before, it's a comfortable and secure environment around you both, that just makes this sunshine boy beam more than ever possible around you. "Sun that looks great!!", you'd encourage him, as he'd just wipe away whatever flecks of paint had gotten on your hand, basking in your praise. He might even take the opportunity to hold your hand, to which you of course had no complaints.

JUNGWON is panicking and Jay and Heesung are trying their best to call him down. Panicking because he overslept on his nap to freshen up for his date. But fear not, because this is where Efficient Wonie comes in and saves the day. It's like everything that must be done becomes natural to him - it's in his second nature to buy you flowers and ring up your doorbell, flashing that all so sweet grin of his. And after calming down the raging butterflies in your stomach, you both set off on the date he's meticulously planned.

I see Jungwon as a multi-activity date kind of guy, you know? Why not get the best of all the worlds with this guy? He has the date planned in his head for months now, considering how long he's been itching to ask you out. He starts the date off with a nice, cozy cafe visit where you both can pick up some beverages to set yourselves right. Following would be a movie, something he'd find meaningful enough for a first date. And he's trying his best to focus on the movie instead of the fingertips brushing against yours inside the popcorn bucket because he needs to know the plot for the next part of the date!! Which is taking you to a small diner after the movies to talk about what you both found interesting about the film - whether it was good or bad, characters and the theme. And just from there the conversation would flow. Jungwon would be so easy to converse with that you wouldn't even know where the time has gone, until you find yourself in front of your house with him, hours past in a blink. And with how adorable his dimples look under the street lamps as you bid him goodbye, you can't help but place a sweet kiss on them as you depart, leaving him lovestruck on the street.

RIKI wants to have a bit of fun on dates. Sure movies and arcades and picnics are fun. But this boy is a ball of energy when he's around the people he likes - if it isn't obvious from the way he's around his members and their comfort. And that's how you made him feel as well, comfortable in his own skin. So much so that it warranted a date with the dance prodigy, who couldn't get you off his mind at all. He'd definitely be much more confident in this date than the others for sure, but that doesn't mean he isn't a bit nervous!! But sweet boy is more nervous about making sure you have a blast tonight with him. And with the way you're laughing and accepting the flowers he got you, placing them in a vase, those worries fade almost immediately.

Riki would take you to a town carnival or an amusement park sort of setup for a date! This teasing little shit would totally use this opportunity for poking fun at how you would scream on the faster rides like the rollercoaster, and would claim how he would "protect you" if anything did happen (like dawg this is not a fight for honor it's legit just a rollercoaster). He'd win you some prizes from the side stalls, and you'd both share a large cotton candy. Would whine about the animal ears you insisted that he wear during the duration of the date, which you had bought from a concession stand. But he would also complain when you said he doesn't have to wear it if he doesn't like it like T-T bro. The date reached its final note on the Ferris wheel, and it's not like you were scared of heights, it's just that you'd severely underestimated how high the ride went. "You can hold my hand if you're scared", Riki says jokingly. But you take the offer instantly, tightly clutching his hand as your eyes are wide and looking around as awe starts replacing the terror in your eyes. And despite the view, Riki could only look at you. Feeling his gaze on you, you turned your head around to only find yourself encaptured in a sweet and romantic kiss, surrounded by cool air miles above the ground.

[pinkthrone445]

~Too old for this s**t~

Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Gender: hurt, fluff.

Warnlings : (+18) strong words, mention of sex, vulgar language .

Summary:Because of Melissa's insecurities, she ends up breaking off her relationship with you, hurting both of you in the process.

The sound of the alarm began to wake you up, it sounded distant, soft. All you wanted to do was go back to sleep. Your body felt so warm, comfortable, it was where it belonged, in the arms of your girlfriend Melissa. Her hands were hugging your waist, still fast asleep, you were hugging her torso with your face hidden between her breasts and your legs intertwined with her. It felt like you were sleeping on a cloud, in the sky itself, in paradise, away from all worries, the only thing around you and your senses was Mel's scent and the soft sound of her breath on the crown of your head. The alarm started to sound again, a little louder this time, making the redhead wake up barely opening her eyes, a soft laugh escaped from her mouth when she saw how much you had hidden your face between her breasts, she even wondered how it was that you could breathe

-"Good morning Principessa" - Mel spoke in a more rapturous voice than usual and saw how you snuggled more into her chest making her laugh - "Your breath tickles me hon, how is it that you're even breathing between my breasts?"

-"I can barely breathe, but I'd die happily if I died suffocated by your breasts" - you replied barely audible because you were squeezed in there and the redhead laughed again caressing your hair. She knew that mornings were difficult for you, so she took care of giving you affection a while early so that you would wake up in a good mood before having to go to school.

Although you didn't want to get up, like every morning, the eldest convinced you by saying that you would take a bath together, to which you happily agreed by filling the bathtub. The woman took it upon herself to continue giving you love, washing your hair, and kissing your back and shoulders as you bathed together.

You and Melissa had been dating for more than two years, she met you in a bar when she was on vacation, after that you kept talking and started a long-distance relationship, after a year and a half of constant travel and calls to see each other, you moved in with her, applying for a job at the school where she already worked, since you were also a teacher, of art, but a teacher like her. Mel was the one with the idea that you move there and apply for the job, which you didn't think much about and accepted since you would do everything to be by her side. The two of you agreed to leave the relationship outside the school, you thought it would be the wisest thing to do to avoid questioning the relationship, especially because of the age difference (which made the redhead very insecure). The only one who knew was Barbara, Melissa's best friend.

Moving in with her wasn't entirely easy, your parents weren't very happy when you introduced your partner, a woman a little more than twice your age. They expressed their displeasure when you said you would move in with her, but when they saw you so convinced they supported you, not quite, but they didn't get in the way either. Your family had a lot of money, which made Mel doubt why you were with her, you were young and well-moneyed, dating an older woman with a state professor's salary, that was odd for her. But when she saw how you imposed yourself on your parents just to go with her, she realized that it was love that you felt. But that didn't stop her from having insecurities from time to time.

Since you had moved, everything had gone well, the other teachers treat you well and the relationship with the redhead was perfect. Mel wasn't very affectionate or expressing her feelings much, but after spending so much time apart, she convinced herself that she would give you all the love and cuddles you wanted now that she had you by her side, which made you very happy because you were very clingy when you were alone with her.

After breakfast, the two of you drove to work, she in her car and you in yours so you wouldn't arrive together and raise suspicions. The only time you saw each other on a normal school day was during recesses or at lunch, and from time to time when it was turn to control the children's lunch break together. All the time you gave each other glances or comments with double meanings, which the others did not notice apparently, except for Barbara. However, today was a different day, it was open house day. Which meant that if parents or neighbors didn't go, you'd be spending a lot of time together in the staff room, playing something, or eating together with the others.

While you all expected no one to attend, this year the open house had quite a bit of support, making the school full of interested parents and families. Although Mel couldn't spend much time with you, being busy with students and parents in her class, she was watching you all day, especially as some mothers came over to talk or flirt with you, they were all women close to your age and striking in appearance. What made the redhead feel insecure, not jealous, insecure of the age difference and the state of her body, even though you reminded her how perfect she was all the time, her insecurities haunted her almost every night, especially when you fell asleep naked curled up close to her.

Coming home only fueled her insecurities, Ava had invited the younger ones to drink, that including you (although Ava was closer to Mel age than yours). Even though you said no, using the excuse that you already had other plans, the redhead felt bad. Many times there were things you didn't do because she wasn't invited with the younger ones, even though she insisted that you go anyway, you said that it wasn't the same if she wasn't there, that you didn't have fun in the same way, although she knew that the truth was that you didn't want your girlfriend to feel left out.

Melissa arrived a few minutes before you at the house and started cooking something for both of you, when you arrived, you hugged her from behind resting your chin on her shoulder and kissing her neck. You have been apart all day and all you wanted was a make-out session with the eldest. But she seemed to have her head elsewhere, ignoring you and almost burning the onion she was dephrying

-"Babe, are you okay?" - You asked, turning off the stove and gently taking her face in your hands for her to look at you. The redhead nodded so you wouldn't worry, but in truth her head was going a thousand miles an hour questioning a lot of things

-"Yeah, just a one long day, one of my kids isn't having a good atmosphere at home and that worries me" - She whispered and kissed your lips softly

-"Do you want us to talk about it? Maybe I could help you find a way to help them" - you said, stroking her cheek, smiling at how much she cared about her students. She shook her head

-"Not now, maybe tomorrow, now I want to finish cooking for us to eat something" -She replied and you shook your head knowing that if she was distracted, she was destined to burn something and that would only make her crankier or sadder. After convincing her, the two of you sat on the couch watching one of Mel's favorite movies while eating ice cream, you lying on her lap while she stroked your hair. If it weren't for the redhead's tear-filled eyes when she looked at you so relaxed and distracted, that would have been a normal night of caresses and tranquility. But throughout the movie, the redhead stared at you instead of the TV, thing you didn't realize, trying to memorize your face forever and wondering if what she was about to do was the right thing to do.

When the movie was over and so was the ice cream, the two went to bed. Like every night, you snuggled up hugging her, but her nervous breathing did not go unnoticed by you, she was about to cry and you knew it, so you sat on the bed in front of her holding her hands

-"My love, what's going on, I've never seen you so worried about a student"-you spoke affectionately caressing her hands and she could only avoid your gaze and sob a little

-"I'm so sorry..."—it was the only thing that made it out of her mouth and that confused you more

-Why? You don't have to apologize for being sad, we all have our days love."-You answered and Mel insulted herself for what she was about to do, you were so good, so perfect

-"This isn't about a student, it's about us. I... I'm so sorry but this isn't working anymore. We don't work anymore. It was fun at first but I don't feel the same way anymore, you're a nice distraction, but I need to find someone more mature and closer to my age. Someone with whom I have more shared experiences and understands me better"-Mel spoke as fast as she could, avoiding looking at you before her crying wouldn't let her talk anymore. She didn't mean anything she was saying, she would never find anyone more perfect for her than you, but she needed to leave you so that you can be happy and live your life to the fullest as you deserved, not ruining and wasting your youth by her side. Her heart sank as she felt you let go of her hands

-What are you talking about Melissa, what's really going on?" - You asked hurt and she didn't say anything or look at you -"Melissa Ann Schemmenti, look at me and tell me the truth, what's really going on?"

Melissa sighed and finally looked at you, she could see in your eyes the pain and anger she was causing you. But she knew she had to be quick and leave no doubt, this was the best thing for you. She was already grown up and had lived her life, she would feel satisfied if she died without having her happy ending as long as you lived your life and if you got a happy ending with someone who would be with you longer in your life than she could ever be.

-"There is no other truth, what you heard is the truth, I don't feel the same way about you or this relationship anymore, I think that coming to live together was a mistake, you should never have come, much less started a relationship, this had a start date, and from the beginning, it had an expiration date. We have a lot of age difference, this was never going to work, I think we both knew it but we ignored it because it was exciting at first, but that excitement is over now and I don't want to go on with this or with you, I'm sorry but it's over, I don't love you anymore and I can't pretend anymore that I do"-The last words came out just as a whisper as she saw the damage that she was doing to you, but time after time, she repeated herself that this was the best thing for you, even if it hurt, in the long run it would be the best thing. You got out of bed with your eyes full of tears, you couldn't believe what you were hearing, this wasn't your Mel, the only thing you prayed was that everything was a nightmare and you woke up soon. But the pain you felt, confirmed to you that this was all very real, even your legs were shaking as you walked to the door of the room-"Where are you leaving? Don't you have anything to say?" - Her words came out without thinking and she immediately regretted it when you turned around to face her

-"What do you want me to tell you, Melissa?"- You shrugged your shoulders confused, tears fell non-stop in your eyes and in hers-"What do you want me to tell you? That this wasn't how I imagined the night would end? That I love you? That I don't want you to leave me? That I pray to the heavens to awaken from this horrible nightmare? Nothing I can say is going to change what's going on"-You walked to the door of the room and sighed trying to calm your crying, turning your back to her, you spoke from the doorframe-"I'll go sleep on the couch, tomorrow I'll see where I can stay..."-Melissa wanted to interrupt you but you wouldn't let her.- "I'll sleep on the couch because if you do it, your neck hurts later...When I get a place to stay, I'll come pick up my stuff"-You said before you went downstairs to the living room to sleep or try to sleep, which you couldn't do because you spent all your time crying hugging yourself, asking why this was going on. Mel didn't sleep a bit either, crying and wishing that life hadn't been so unfair by bringing two people together with such a lifetime apart.

In the morning, the red-haired woman carefully went down the stairs not knowing what to do when she saw you, but when she reached the first floor, you were no longer there, neither you nor your car were at home.

After crying some more and taking a bath, she went to work, putting on a lot of makeup to cover up the large dark circles under her eyes.

Upon arrival, she went straight to her class, trying to avoid everyone, especially Barbara who could read her with just a glance.

At lunchtime, Melissa looked out the window of the teachers' break room, seeing how you were sitting in your car, staring into nothingness itself. She sighed with guilt and pain

-"Hey Melissa Did you bring food?" - Her friend spoke frightening the redhead, turning to look at her but avoiding her eyes she shook her head -"Let's buy then" - The older one spoke and looked at Melissa's side, as if looking for something or someone near or behind the redhead - "And (Y/N)? Where is she? Is she sick and didn't come? She never misses an opportunity to eat or spend time with you" -The last comment was added as they were alone in the break room, the redhead couldn't help herself and started crying silently avoiding her friend's gaze

-"She's in her car, I don't think she'll come to eat with us today... Or any other day. Last night I broke up with her and she kinda hates me now" - She whispered embarrassedly and her friend ran to hug her, confused and worried about her.

-"What did she do to you? You loved that kid. What did she do wrong for you to break up with her?" - Her friend asked, and the redhead laughed with pain in her heart

-"She didn't do anything wrong but the problem is in what you said, she is a child, with so much to live and enjoy, so many people to meet and so many things to do and I just... Because of me, she doesn't do many of the things she wants to do. I broke up with her so she can be happy, she can look for someone who can be with her in everything she wants, someone who doesn't have the same age as her mother, someone with the same age as her..."-The redhead sighed sadly, trying to control her crying and the eldest shook her head, she had never seen her friend this sad in all the years they had worked together

-"That girl loved you with all her being, I witnessed how she looked at you and admired you, but if you are sure that this is the best decision, I support you"-Barbara commented and then encouraged the redhead to eat something.

When the school day was over, Melissa looked outside for your car, but noticed that you were already gone. When she got home, his sadness increased when she noticed how you had taken advantage of her absence to take all your belongings from the house. The only thing that had remained was the immense emptiness, now the house looked very big, very quiet, very sad, just like her life without you.

A couple more days passed, where you avoided the redhead at all costs. Barbara tried to talk to you to find out how you were or where you were staying, you knew Melissa had sent her, it wasn't her fault to be in the middle of the two, but she barely managed to get a couple of words out of you before she stopped insisting and left.

Every day that passed was more painful, the harder it was to sleep alone or eat, and the harder it was to avoid the redhead. You barely crossed her when she came to pick up her students from your class, but you didn't even look at her, you couldn't do it without feeling how her words hurt you again.

A month passed since you left the house, another month living in a hotel, missing sleeping with her, sleeping lousy, eating worse, crying almost every night, not wanting to wake up or breathe anymore. One more month watching her out of the corner of your eye walk past you, spending the hours of break alone in your classroom or in the garden, trying to distract you from your tumultuous thoughts.

Today you were planning to avoid her as usual, but as soon as you opened the door to your classroom, she was in front of you, giving you no room to escape

-"What do you want Schemmenti?" - Your posture was tense, your eyes red and haggard, and your tone was dry, hurtful, and angry

-"Good morning..."-She whispered in pain when she saw you so sad, she knew it was her fault. She thought that by that time you would be better and determined to move forward, but you looked worse and worse, you looked like a ghost - "I wanted to know if we could talk a little..."

-"I don't have anything to say to you, I don't have time either, I'm too busy" - You responded dryly by trying to get her out of your classroom, avoiding touching her for fear that your "strong" façade would break, but she didn't move an inch

-"Please hon..." - she begged with those beautiful eyes that not to long ago made you drop to your knees for her. You were about to insult her and respond very badly, but you couldn't because a child entered class, although you smiled and greeted him, your smile did not reach your sad eyes, she knew you well enough to notice when you smiled with your eyes-"Please"- she insisted and you sighed, you knew that when something got into her head, it was hard for her to give up

-"We'll talk at recess, I have a class to teach now, so you can leave Schemmenti"- you replied without looking at her, arranging the things on your desk. The redhead smiled and left satisfied.

You always hated Thursdays, it was vending machine refill day, the man who did that job always flirted with Melissa, she always ignored him, but since you weren't together anymore, nothing stopped her. But you thought that maybe she would wait a little longer to start flirting with someone, especially at the school where you were, but you were wrong

-"I'll take you to a night you'll never forget, you and me, Dave & Buster's, huh? What do you think?" - The man said just as you were entering the break room, which made you burst out with a dry laugh as you saw him talking to Melissa. You knew the woman well, too well, to know that she liked fine and delicate things, she liked to be pampered, you knew the list of her favorite gifts and restaurants, Dave & Buster's was none of them. You came to give her a chance to talk, but when you heard the conversation, you hadn't heard much, but enough to stop wanting to talk to her again

-"Good idea Nick (you knew that wasn't his name, but he was flirting with your ex-girlfriend and that bothered you) is a very good idea, maybe when you get out of there you could take her to one of those cheap motels, where they make you sign a contract before entering in case you get bitten by a bug in their properties. I bet Schemmenti is going to be very happy, you're a real catch"-You spoke sarcastically by patting the man on the back before turning to look at the redhead, taking out the keys to the house and leaving them on top of her cell phone that was on the table. - "I hope you have a nice day and a beautiful and romantic date"- you said looking her in the eyes angrily before leaving the place.

Melissa looked at everything confused, the interaction, the keys, the man, her friend, the door where you had gone, everything had happened so fast. She grabbed the keys and went after you running down the hall

-"(Y/N)! Wait!" -She yelled in her thick accent but you didn't stop, wanting to get to your classroom to lock yourself in so you wouldn't have to listen to her, but just as you were about to enter she grabbed your arm causing you to freeze in place, even the slightest touch could bring back the most sinful memories- "Why did you give me your keys?"- she asked, watching as you turned to her and pulled your arm out of her grip

-"Because in case you don't remember, you broke up with me and we don't live together anymore, plus I wouldn't want to walk into the house one day only to find how the stupid guy is banging you against the counter"-You responded with your blood boiling, she's never seen you so angry

-"That's not what happened, the conversation started because Barb..."-The redhead wanted to explain, but she couldn't continue talking because you slammed the door in her face.

All the rest of the day, Mel tried to talk to you, but she couldn't.

At night the other teachers went out to drink and invited her, the redhead thought it would be a good idea to distract herself, but she regretted it immediately when she arrived at the place and you were already there, quite drunk, talking to one of the youngest teachers. She didn't know how much alcohol you had drunk, but it was noticeable that a lot, you were talking incoherently, dancing from time to time and you didn't even recognize your work partners well. The redhead was used to drinking, but you weren't, so what you had taken had not only been a lot, but it had hit you hard.

At the end of the night, Jacob, who had been with you most of the night, approached Melissa and Jannne a little bit nervous, well, more nervous than he already was

-"She's very drunk, she's asking me for her car keys but I won't give them to her to drive like that, but I don't know where she lives to take her either. She also wants me to take her to the zoo to steal a penguin so she can have someone to sleep with. You know that I like to help a strong and independent woman, but I don't know if there are penguins in the zoo, I never go because I don't like animal exploitation and the conditions in which they are keeping animals for our entertainment, I think it's very cruel..." - The young boy was talking non-stop and that made Mel's eyes roll, how he got a partner is still a mystery for her

-"I'll take her home"- The redhead volunteered, and the boy breathed a sigh of relief. When Mel grabbed your waist to take you from the bar to the car, she expected you to resist or insult her, but instead, you hugged her and hid around her neck breathing in her perfume, too drunk to remember why you were mad at her. Mel sighed sadly, she missed having you around, hugging you and being with you so much. After begging you for a bit, you told her where you were staying and she was able to take you to your room. The eldest was hurt to see that you were in a hotel, it's not that you didn't have money to pay for it, it hurt her that you hadn't gotten a space of your own and that you left the house to her without protesting, even though she was the one who had been at fault. You had let her be in the comforts of a home while you were in a hotel that didn't feel like home, your clothes were still in the boxes and suitcases, you hadn't even occupied the drawers and there were several containers of fast food on the trash, you weren't even eating well.

The redhead took off your shoes and helped you put on some more comfortable clothes and then watched as you curled up in bed. Not wanting to break into your space anymore, she said goodbye to leave, but your fragile voice stopped her

-"Can you stay for a while? - You whispered with pleading eyes, obviously you still didn't realize that you were angry with her -"I've been sleeping badly for a long time and it would really help me rest if you stay, I don't like being alone" - You pleaded looking so small, your words were clumsy because of the alcohol but your determination was strong. Mel barely smiled and sat on the bed next to you, her heart almost stopped when you lay on her chest and hugged her around the waist closing your eyes and smiling-"You know? I had a girlfriend who looked a lot like you"- you began to babble- "she's the most beautiful, intelligent, loving, perfect woman I've ever seen in my life... But she was too much of a woman for me and apparently I wasn't enough for her."- You said and sighed. Since you had separated you hadn't talked to anyone about this, if you talked to your family they would tell you that they told you so, your friends were far away living on another continent, your co-workers didn't know that you and Mel were dating, the only one who knew was Barbara and she was friends with Mel, so you didn't have anyone to talk to and your drunken brain was betraying you by making you say everything to her-"She told me that I was a distraction, that she didn't love me anymore. At first I didn't believe her, I thought she was telling me because of fears she sometimes had, but when I saw her flirting with someone else, it became clear to me that I was just a distraction to her if she already moved on, she was my whole word and I was just a toy. And you know what hurts me the most? That I can't hate her, that I love her more than the first day we kissed, that I keep dreaming about her, sleeping in her favorite shirt, that I miss kissing all her freckles, I miss making her laugh, I miss kissing her, I miss her food, her caresses, her body, I miss her and I love her so much it hurts..."

Mel could only hug you as you cried into her chest, she had hurt you so much she didn't know what to do, you didn't deserve any of this. You cried yourself to sleep, Mel covered you with a blanket and went home, she knew that if you woke up next to her in the morning, you would be angry and the moment would not be pretty.

The next day at school, Mel spoke to Barbara, doubting whether her decision had been the right one or not

-"I miss her, I miss being with her, listening to her funny comments or her intelligence, I miss cuddling, I miss seeing her laugh, I miss making her happy, I don't like to cause her pain... I miss how she challenged me, the movie nights, the nights of watching games, even though she didn't understand anything. The poker nights, she was good taking all my money, or the stripper poker... I think that's where she let me win to undress for me... God, how I miss touching her, her moans, her ass, that ass drove me crazy, I could have stayed and lived there... I miss sitting on her face and those things she did with her tongue... "-The redhead spoke desperately and nervously, she needed immediate help

-"I don't want any more details"—her friend interrupted her for everything she was saying-"The only thing this separation achieved is to make you both miserable. That girl loves you, she told you last night, she's told you since the moment you met. That young woman left her country and everyone she knew to live with you. She's with you out of love, because it can't be for money with the salary we have. She doesn't care about the age difference, she only cares about being with you and making you happy. With what your ex has made you suffer, when you get someone who makes you happy, you have to hold on to them with all your heart. You can't let fear guide your life Melissa"-Her friend gave advice, and the two of them watched as you walked straight into your classroom down the hallway - "Go talk to her before you end up tearing your hair out because of the frustration you're carrying."

The redhead nodded and ran out to your classroom, when you saw her, you sighed loudly

-"Schemmenti not now, my head is breaking from the hangover and I don't feel like arguing right now" - You spoke squeezing your eyes closed with the palms of your hands, trying to hide from the light coming through the window

-"I fucked up, I know and I'm so sorry, nothing I said was true. You were never a distraction, you've always been my whole life. I never stopped loving you, in fact, I love you more every minute that passes" -Melissa started talking non-stop, she needed to tell the whole truth and reverse the damage she had done to you, she couldn't let her fears make her lose the most important person in her life- "This month without you has been torture, I see you in every place at home, I see your absence in every aspect of my life. I miss the miracle of your caresses at dawn. I miss how your eyes, just by looking at me, can change my whole day. I miss going out to eat together, or when we watched movies or games at home, I miss fighting with you and have reconciliation sex, I miss everything about you, I miss you and I love you. I can't lose you, you're my whole life. I thought you'd be better off with someone your age, but I realized that because of my fears, I hurt both of us and I'll spend my whole life remedying the hurt I did to you if you'll let me. Whether it works or not, whether it's right or wrong, living it with you is the glory. Please forgive me, I can't live another day without you"-Mel watched as you got up from your desk and stood in front of her very seriously, she thought maybe you'd slap her, which she wouldn't stop because she deserved it

-"Melissa, sei una donna molto idiota, quante volte ho bisogno di ripeterti che non mi interessa la differenza di età, anzi, la adoro. Sono ancora arrabbiato, ma ti perdono, perché sei sicuramente un idiota, ma questo non mi fa amare di meno" (You are a very idiotic woman, how many times do I need to repeat to you that I don't care about the age difference, in fact, I love it. I'm still angry, but I forgive you, Because you're an idiot for sure, but that doesn't make me love you any less)-Mel smiled when she heard you and came closer to you but you stopped her - "It's going to cost you dearly to remedy this. You do something like that again and it's not going to end well for you, understood?" - You said with a raised eyebrow and Mel nodded, she was usually the one with the threats but she liked this side of you. You smiled looking into her eyes and kissed her slowly, feeling how the redhead put her hands on your hips and you put yours around her neck. How you missed her kisses, her scent, her whole being. You wanted the kiss to be tender but you had missed her too much to control yourself, so you bit her lip, drawing a gasp out of her. The redhead was easy to turn on and with desire she pressed you against the blackboard and her body, causing the air to leave your body by the force with which she did it. Taking advantage of that movement, she stuck her tongue into your mouth, so a moan escaped your lips

-"Hell girls! I always imagined that Melissa was kinky, but not that you were both like that! Damm!-Ava screamed from the hallway door, you sighed against Melissa's lips and hid in her neck, playing with her necklaces, covering yourself from the principal's view. Her scream attracted the other teachers who were there, surprised at how the redhead had you in her grip, only making your cheeks turn red from embarrassment

-"Melissa! (Y/N)! You're in school for God's sake! The children could arrive at any time. I know I told you to reconcile, but not to have a make-out session here in the middle of the classroom! - Barbara spoke and the other teachers looked at her in surprise when they heard the implication that you were already dating before.

Melissa gently caressed your waist and kissed your forehead, happy that everyone already knew you were together, happy to be back together

-"Please come back home with me hon"-she whispered in your ear and you nodded hiding more in her neck while she hugged you.

[jester-lover]

Dorm Leaders with a Girlfriend who wears Suits

Warnings: fluff, very flustered boys, insecurity (not from the reader), talks of gender roles/identity, whoever reads this is so cool, reader is so hot and confident (did I mention she’s so hot)

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle has grown up in a certain structure, men lead, women follow, women lead, sons follow

When he sees you, dressed to the nines, not a care for the stares of others; something in him snapped

Head over heels

Considering his rule following tendencies, he is immensely attracted to the rebellious flair of a woman in a suit

You tend to notice him staring at you whenever you wear your male uniform

You always wink at him, reminding him you can see him too

Strawberry Riddle

“Um- well I wasn’t staring! It’s just- you look really pretty…”

Leona Kingscholar

Yes.

PLEASE.

His familial structure is very matriarchal, so seeing you, a confident woman just hits something in his soul

Bro, if you wear the male uniform, he will (politely) ask you to model the Savannaclaw uniform

If you do he’s literally on one knee

Girlfriend? I think you mean WIFE

Also he’s a lil afraid of you considering your confidence, you have a lot of power over people

Trying so hard to be all suave and cool and still such a sucker for you it’s funny

“Woah. I didn’t think anyone could make it work better than me.”

Azul Ashengrotto

He definitely thought you were a competitor at first

Who else would have such smooth banter, such playful glances, than an enemy trying to hinder his business!!

You definitely ask him out because he’s so in his own head, when you do, it’s like the wires in his brain connect finally

Also has a staring problem, the way that you walk with complete confidence, absolute disregard for anyone who speaks ill of you; he dreams of being like that

You lovelovelove pulling him in by his tie for a kiss, because he definitely places his hands on your shoulders all startled

“That lipstick suits you… What?! You think it’ll suit me too?! Don’t just s-say things like that!”

Kalim Al-Asim

Wowie!

This is the best combo ever, smiley pretty boy and a woman with endless personality

He literally buys you anything you want, new suit? Down. Makeup perfectly matching a new suit? Amazing! New shoes with a new suit? Take his credit card!

Kalim literally wants you to have anything you could possibly desire, so

Will buy both of you matching suits for galas and other occasions, and if anyone has the GALL to look down in you for your clothes, he’ll just leave along with you.

The public disgrace that would happen to that person for insulting the s/o of a member of the affluent Al-Asim family would be TREMENDOUS

“You look absolutely radiant. We look so cool!”

Vil Shoenheit

Masculine Wife, Feminine Husband.

He is so down you don’t even get it.

You help him out of the car? It’s trending on magicam in seconds.

Put your coat on a puddle so he can walk past without damaging his shoes? The paparazzi is loving it.

He adores your dynamic, the confidence you have matched his, and it contrasts with the opposite fashion you wear

“Dearest, the rose pinned to your lapel is a perfect match for the color of my overcoat, we will look stunning!”

Idia Shroud

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Idia saw you once and he literally froze on the spot, you walked around like you owned the school!

The crisp edges of your suit reminded him of the butler from one of his favorite anime, so he was immediately nervous to talk to you

When you start dating, he begins to wonder what cosplays you would look good in,

Spy, demon butler, vampire princess, the possibilities are endless with your androgynous fashion

This one time, you took off your blazer, so you just wore a button up and slacks, and you looked so domestic, so old Hollywood beautiful, he burst into red flames

“I can’t believe you settled for someone like me. WHAT-what??! Stop calling me handsome! You really mean it? Wow…I- “

Malleus Draconia

Malleus loves this so much

The sheer power you exude, walking into every room and demanding attention, feminine mixed with masculine creating beauty beyond mankind

He’s obviously obsessed

On your nightly walks, he notes how you choose to take off the blazer in preference of a cardigan, he loves looking at little changes in your wardrobe

Mal is an old being, he’s seen fashion evolve, but I love to think he enjoys 40s/50s era fashion, the way that you choose to portray that style, he loves even more

As you grow more comfortable around one another, more affectionate, malleus will enjoy fixing your tie and buttoning your vests, small acts of domesticity feel so meaningful

He is another who will buy you expensive clothes, his future queen deserves the best

“My love, your tie is crooked. Perhaps you simply wanted me to fix it hm? Such a sly move…”

Welcome back to J sucks at dialogue and cries over pretty women.

But honestly I wrote this bc I want to feel more confident, and I want you to feel more confident!!!! I see a good amount of insecure reader posts, which are very good and comforting! But I would love to see more confident reader inserts. Thanks for reading, women in suits are amazing, and goodbye.

[silverflqmes]

໒⦂ 𝐃𝐈𝐒-𝐌𝐎𝐈 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐓.

synposis. you ask the fontainian boys and girlies for a lesson in the language of their nation — french, to better understand them and become closer.

genre. fluff + crack

ft. navia, lyney, furina, neuvillette

disclaimer. i had french for seven years in school, but my knowledge in the language is in no way perfect, so if i make mistakes, i apologize in advance! pointing out mistakes is okay, but don’t be an ass about it. furthermore, any terms of endearment that are written here will be used with their respective possessive pronoun to keep it gender neutral. for example, cherie is feminine, so i will put ma in front of it. cœur is masculine, so i will put mon. i hope this is lucid enough! lastly, if any qualities used ( fav color, macaron ) do not align with your preferences, feel free to change it in your head — i just used my own to make the sentence flow. OH and one more note i promise- some things can’t really be translated the same in english as they sound in french! mon cœur for example is not really a term of endearment you hear the same in english.. so if the translation sounds weird, it’s just because some things can’t sound the same unfortunately.. THATS WHY FOREIGN LANGUAGES ARE MORE ROMANTIC🗣️🗣️

gender neutral! reader

➫ 𝓝𝗔𝗩𝗜𝗔 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ oh she was so excited when you showed interest in her native language, it was just so romantic and things couldn’t be expressed as deeply in english as they were in french.

⌗ very patient with teaching you! she prefers a more verbal approach with teaching you and despite her formal nature, she teaches you a casual and easy way of speaking that doesn’t make you sound robotic😭

⌗ “imparfait is used a lot when written, in speech however — between you and me.. you don’t hear it really often! so we’re just gonna focus on le passé composé~ <3”

⌗ if you feel insecure about your lack of accent, it’s okay ( bc me too. ), navia won’t judge you for it! she’s just happy that you’re willing to learn for her!

⌗ likes to set up a scenario for you to test your proficiency! this time around, she had invited clorinde to join you both for tea and macarons.

⌗ clorinde was as patient as a one came.. and was happy to be having navia’s macarons once more.

⌗ “ah~ y/n, voulez-vous un autre macaron? quelle saveur souhaitez-vous?” / “ah~ y/n, would you like another macaron? which flavor would you like?”

⌗ clorinde is just sipping away her tea as the gears are turning in your head to answer navia properly. “oui.. um, je voulais un de chocolat, s’il vous plaît..” / “yes.. um, i’d like a chocolate one, please.”

⌗ cue uncertainty in your words but navia just smiles brightly before clapping. “très bien, ma cherie~! voilà, un macaron de chocolat.” / “very good, my darling! here you go, one chocolate macaron.”

⌗ despite your embarrassment, the tea party went surprisingly well? you eventually got a little more comfortable despite your easy way of speaking, but navia couldn’t be prouder<3

➫ 𝓛𝗬𝗡𝗘𝗬 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ he is a total tease with it and is the kind of tutor that would ask what you are referring to or press for more information just to mess around with you.

⌗ say he asks what your favorite color is, he’ll totally 100% ask WHY it’s your favorite color, and will await with this innocent smile for you to explain. like so.. “pourquoi le rouge est ta couleur préférée, hm? explique-moi s’il vous plaît, mon cœur~” / “why is red your favorite color, hm? please explain to me, my heart~”

⌗ “one of these days lyney, i swear..” you’d mutter and he’d just put a hand to his ear. “hm, qu’est ce-que vous avez dit? je ne comprends pas!” / “hm, what was that you said? i don’t understand!”

⌗ he is fr testing your patience, and now you are wondering whether or not it was a good idea to say you wanted to learn french. he is the most meddlesome teacher!

⌗ i feel like he’s one of those that refuses to answer you unless you respond in french. doesn’t have to be perfect, but he needs to hear you trying! thinks it’s the best way for you to pick up the language — an environment where you are inclined to speak it!

⌗ he probably makes lynette and freminet join in on this scheme of his.. fremmy is mouthing apologies in english to you while lynette is apologizing for her troublesome brother.

⌗ it’s needless to say, despite the extremities, lyney’s method kind of worked? i mean you’re in an environment where all you hear is french and you are forced to speak it in order to communicate with your lover and his family, sooo.. you’re bound to pick it up. sorta.

⌗ when arlecchino was in town again for a visit to check on her kids, you had this idea once you felt you knew enough of the language to ask for her approval on you dating lyney, since she hadn’t known yet.

⌗ so with lyney present, you shocked him completely by walking up to the fatui harbinger with a shaky confidence, holding your heart as you stared up at her. “madame arlecchino.. il m’a fallu beacoup de temps pour apprendre les mots.. mais,” you paused, sucking in a breath. “je voudrais avouer que je suis très amoureux de ton fils.. et je souhaite votre approbation!” / “miss arlecchino, it took me a lot of time to learn the words.. but, i wanted to confess that i am very much in love with your son, and i wish for your approval!”

⌗ lyney was in complete shock of what his ‘father’ might say, but when the smallest smile painted her lips, relief washed over him. “vous devez vraiment l’aimer beaucoup, si vous avez appris le français pour me dire ça.. vous avez mon approbation.” / “you must love him very much, then, if you learned french to tell me this.. you have my approval.”

➫ 𝓕𝗨𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗔 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ oh, you thought lyney was bad? think again. furina is on another level of teaching french and just as troublesome, if not- worse, as he is with his methods of teaching you..

⌗ she’s got you writing, doing grammar and spelling, speaking, reading — everything you can imagine. all because you showed the tiniest bit of interest in the language since furina’s performances are often in french.

⌗ in hindsight, you just wanted to learn to understand her better whenever you attended her shows</3

⌗ when she realizes she’s overdoing things, she eases up and recoils a little, not wanting to overflow you with information. it was meant to be something fun for you both anyway to connect you more, not another year of education for you..

⌗ and so she switches to another method of teaching — which is practicing her scripts with you!

⌗ she helps you with your lines, and whatever you don’t understand, she will explain to you so that you guys can have your little performance together<3

⌗ she’ll summon her little animal friends with her vision to act as supporting cast while the two of you act out your lines. cue you being a flustered mess cuz you’re worried about your pronunciation and emotion since hers is so on point, but her eyes sparkle when she hears you trying. you can tell she’s glad you wanted to do this with her.

⌗ some scripts include her singing and it’s just the most beautiful thing. you had heard her once singing la vie en rose in the shower while reading a book and ever since, you’d wished to hear her again.

⌗ “et tu, mon ange..” she cupped your cheek, eyes filled with love for you. “mon étoile.. ma raison de vivre, de tout mon coeur, corps et âme, t’adore tendrement.” / “and you, my angel.. my star.. my reason for living, with all of my heart, body and soul, i adore you dearly.”

⌗ despite it being part of her lines, the script she was following, you had felt every word that was expressed and knew that furina had meant it all.

➫ 𝓝𝗘𝗨𝗩𝗜𝗟𝗟𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗘 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ similar to navia, he’s very patient with you and not as strict as he looks like he would be. he’s very gentle and sweet about it.

⌗ when you told him you wanted to learn his native language, you could see the slightest hint of elation in his visage. if you were around water, it was bound to twinkle in response to his emotions.

⌗ it was decided that he would teach you as best as he could, and his methods were a little less verbal than the others though. he wanted to teach you the written part to help you with vocabulary and forming sentences. if you had that down, you would have a little more ability and inspiration to respond to him more easily.

⌗ although, he loved reading to you as well, even if it made you a little sleepy. his voice was just so soothing, you couldn’t help yourself when it came to monsieur neuvillette</3

⌗ however he made a point to do this after you guys practiced, since he realized it serenaded you more than it taught you.. but he didn’t mind, you looked so peaceful and adorable<3

⌗ still don’t have the pronunciation down for the very machine he used everyday for trials? he’s got you. “selon le jugement de l’oratrice de mécanique d’analyse cardinale..” yes. yes i did that. no translation needed.

⌗ it made you giggle a little when he said it, him obviously not phased by you asking him to pronounce it — little did he know you just wanted to hear him say it cuz it was silly..

⌗ one day you bring him a book series called ‘fables de fontaine’ — which are in essence, folktales of fontaine, with the intention of reading them with his assistance.

⌗ it made him smile to see you shyly hold up the stack of volumes, but he nodded and sat you down on his lap to read them together, as a means of testing your proficiency.. and maybe- just maybe.. cuz you wanted an excuse to be close with him.

⌗ regardless, he didn’t mind and rather valued the time you shared together since he was the ludex of fontaine — meaning he was often very busy and unavailable</3 so whatever time he got with you, was always and forever cherished by him<3 even if you kind of just maybe.. fell asleep midway while reading.. it just made him chuckle before pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. “beaux rêves, mon bijou.” / “sweet dreams, my jewel.”

notes. i had this in my drafts for ages, to any of my french speaking readers — please don’t butcher me :’))) anyway i hope this was okay, little different from what i normally do since i don’t really showcase me writing in other languages cuz it’s more work to add translations — and it’s difficult to stay gender neutral😵‍💫

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