#But don't worry we know they are meant to be

[nyktomorphia]

...sorry? :/

"We" refers to "speakers of the English language in general", I guess, but mostly me, as a joke at my own expense for having two reactions that are literally contradictory (hence the "because") despite ultimately deriving from the same underlying sentiment. Contextually speaking I am quite familiar with not feeling real or human (thanks), but since I don't know you I didn't know if you meant it the same way or how literal you intended to be, so I began by acknowledging that. And then set that aside to (I thought) agree with the main point you were making in the form of a rhetorical question. I like getting to see how characters whose behaviour appears bizarre or abnormal make sense from their own perspective, whether I relate to them or not, for separate but related reasons. I don't know what specific qualities you had in mind by Not Sounding Like Real People, either, but I wasn't trying to identify any either.

But apparently how I actually came across was somewhere between "nitpicking" and "hostile disagreement", because that seems necessary to explain why you responded with what feels like a lengthy rebuke. (I considered replying to all those questions individually, to make some sort of point, but I'm worried that would just sound more pugnacious so never mind.) So you'd have to tell me what I said that sounds like... callously decontextualising a personal desire into broad writing advice? I think?

Sometimes it's useful to look at your dialogue and ask yourself, "would a real human being talk like that?" But it's also good to ask the follow-up questions of "would the way a real human being talks sound good here" and "does this character actually talk like a real human being or are they weird about it."

[niwaart]

Hello! There are fanfics on Tumblr in which we are the outcast of the family and another child appears who easily gains favor. And in the end it always turns out that this child was gaining the trust of the Bethfamily in order to leak information about them. I'm wondering, what if we do the opposite? We came into the family, easily established relationships with them, became the missing part for them, while the other child was ignored. When another child finds evidence of our dark deeds, he presents it to the family and they are supposed to hate us, but they are too attached to us that they cannot let us go.

I loved that so much! I wrote a little about it, I hope it's like what you meant.

Damian never expected the day would come when he would be replaced. He had always been Bruce Wayne's biological son, the rightful heir, the warrior trained since childhood to carry the Bat-banner. But everything changed when Y/N came along.

This new son, whom Bruce suddenly adopted after discovering he was the son of one of Gotham's most notorious villains, was quiet, smiling, and humble, like the missing piece of the family puzzle. He learned quickly, showed his gratitude, and everyone loved him.

Everyone... except Damian.

From day one, Damian noticed that there was something off about Y/N.

- Bruce would spend hours with him in the cave, explaining techniques to him, and bragging about him to Alfred. "He's learning incredibly fast!" he would say.

- Dick would coach him on basic moves, while Y/N would feign weakness, then "mistake" in a way that would make Dick laugh and say, "It's okay, you're getting better!"

- Tim was protecting him from Damian, thinking the original son of the family might hurt him. "Stay away from him, Damian. He's new here."

- Jason, the big surprise, was reading books with him in the library. "What is this nonsense?!" Damian yelled at him, to which Jason just laughed. "At least he's not cutting people's heads off like some spoiled brat."

But Damian knew. Something was wrong.

Damian began watching Y/N closely. He noticed how:

- Whenever there was trouble in Gotham, Y/N was absent.

- Whenever Damian tried to get close to him, Y/N would smile innocently at him, then his expression would turn sarcastic when no one else was looking.

- One night, while sneaking up behind Damian, he saw Y/N talking to an unknown person on the phone. "Don't worry, everything is going as planned."

But when Damian confronted him, Y/N turned into a scared child, panicking, "I don't know what you're talking about!" That's when Bruce came and berated Damian in front of everyone.

"Stop teasing him! He's part of the family now!"

After months of searching, Damian found the evidence.

- Photos of Y/N sneaking into the Batcave at night.

- Leaks of family secrets sent to their enemies.

- Records of contacts with dangerous criminals.

Damian rushed over to the family, triumphant. "Here's the evidence! He's a traitor!"

But what was surprising was their reaction.

- Bruce looked at him in disappointment. "Damian, when are you going to stop following him?"

- Dick shook his head. "That sounds like a fabrication."

- Tim said quietly, "Maybe you're unable to accept him because you feel he's replacing you."

- Even Jason, who was always criticizing everyone, said, "Damn, Damian, that sounds like childish spite."

But Damian didn't give up. He grabbed Y/N's hand and said, "Tell them the truth!"

Y/N closed his eyes, let a tear fall, and said, his voice trembling, "I'm sorry... Maybe it was my fault for thinking I could become part of you."

At that moment, everyone turned against Damian.

The family couldn't hate Y/N. He'd become part of them, even if the evidence was clear.

- Bruce told Damian, "Even if he's wrong, we'll help him right his ways. That's what family does."

- Dick put his hand on Y/N's shoulder. "It's okay, we're here for you."

As for Y/N, he looked at Damian with cold eyes while everyone was focused on him, and whispered:

"Didn't I tell you? I'm the best among you."

[project-sekai-facts]

How likely is it that en sekai will botch Mizu5. Not as in like their usual spelling and grammar errors but like. They might genuinely mess up the story because they’re “not allowed to translate it like that” or something else? I’d be absolutely devastated if they did that because her identity is a major part of her character.

it's something i am a bit worried about because of their whole thing with they/them mizuki. it's not really something that works that well with they/them ambiguously gendered mizuki. i've said before how using she/her is what would make most sense for ensekai, she presents as female so by default characters who aren't portrayed as transphobic bullies should use she/her. annoyingly this was never really an option because even before the backlash that made them switch to exclusively mizuki's name or they/them when necessary the official statement was "whatever the other characters view mizuki as" which apparently translated to 'only kanade uses she/her and also ena that one singular time that was probably a mistake'.

like path of thorns hinges on the reveal to ena that mizuki is a trans woman. all of the dialogue from the bullies is stuff like "are you[cis girl ena] secretly a boy as well, why else would you be friends with mizuki" and "we're just messing, we knew you were a real girl [unlike mizuki who was born a boy]" like the trans woman reveal is everything for the last few chapters. that just doesn't work the same way if we go into it from the ensekai perspective of ena apparently viewing mizuki's gender as ambiguous. everything builds to that reveal of mizuki being a trans woman, but on ensekai ena is out here they/themming mizuki giving the impression she doesn't know what mizuki's gender is, or assumes she's nonbinary, which recontextualises that entire scene. like if ena already had these assumptions that mizuki might not be cis that card wouldn't be like that. that card is mizuki's POV of ena seeing her from an entirely new perspective, reevaluating everything she knew and putting the pieces together. LIKE ON ENSEKAI ENA ALREADY ASSUMES MIZUKI ISN'T CIS. THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING. IT'S A STORY ABOUT MIZUKI GETTING OUTED AS TRANS IT DOESN'T WORK IF THE PERSON SHE'S GETTING OUTED TO WHO ISN'T MEANT TO KNOW ALREADY KNOWS SHE IS TRANS. sorry it's 3am i can't word it better.

ensekai just shot themselves in the foot as soon as they decided to use anything other than she/her. the story literally doesn't work in english unless the characters are explicitly viewing mizuki as a woman. like ik pronouns=/=gender but we're talking a product that ensekai went super hard on trying to market to the general audience it's she/her or nothing for a female character. they/them has never made sense for mizuki's story since it implies everyone already is unsure of her gender/assumes she's Not Cis, which completely undoes the narrative of mizuki ACTIVELY HIDING HER TRANSNESS FROM PEOPLE. that is her WHOLE ARC.

ensekai could directly translate path of thorns word for word but it's gonna drop the ball as soon as they get to the bullies talking about "mizuki being a boy and ena being a real girl" because MIZUKI HAS NOT BEEN DEPICTED CLEARLY AS A GIRL ON ENSEKAI. even before the swtich to they/them only they were operating on "whatever people view mizuki as" like they've always treated her gender as ambiguous which admittedly jpsekai kinda did too (? in bio) but japanese rarely uses gendered 3rd person pronouns so it works in that game. you can get away with no other character gendering her for 4 years. english doesn't work like that you have to use gendered terms. if you pick the neutral ones that generally connote 1) someone you don't know the gender of or 2) a nonbinary person, it gives the impression that every other character in the game doesn't view her definitively as a woman.

like i think they'll just leave it intact when TLing but like they cannot keep they/themming her after classmate A or whoever literally confirms that mizuki identifies as a woman. and even if they frame it as a "now mizuki's out we'll be using she/her in TLs" it still removes so much from the original story that they had been depicting her as ambiguously gendered from the eyes of other characters until now. sorry if this is a mess as i said it's literally 3:30am

[bodhiscurls]

the look of love. ( bodhi durran ) pt. 1

the day your brother liam died, a part of you died with him. you couldn't bare to look at the people you used to call family and that included letting go of bodhi durran. except now they're all back asking for your help to find a rune your late brother and mother may have known that could be the key to repairing the wards. its all business and after this you'll head back to the life of loneliness you live except that even after all this time, bodhi durran still looks at you with the look of love. (takes place after the battle of resson- may not be 100% factual or making sense soz love ya xoxo)

main pairing: bodhi durran x mairi reader (liam's older sister), xaden riorson x violet sorrengail

themes: angst, mentions of death, grieving, swearing

soft knuckles wrap against the door in gentle taps and then a groan- a shove you guess and the same tattering rocks the wooden door harder, more urgently.

the lack of sleep threatens to hang your eyelids close and you're tempted for a moment to just roll back under the covers and let the worries find you in the morning light. however, it's audibly apparent that the knocking will not stop.

a stomp of your bare feet fizzles anger into the earth and you fight the snarl edging at the corner of your mouth.

"what," you hiss and rip the door open, standing face to face with the same riders you used to call family. until, well, protecting one of them tore your own real brother from you. that day on the battlefield, something had died along with him. love from the mairi bloodline had been locked away deep into your soul, guarded by soldiers of grief and wrath that moulded your new armour of loneliness.

"good to know you're still a bundle of sunshine when you wake," a deep voice rumbles from the back.

"oh fuck you tavis," you fight off the sleep with an eye roll and steel a stony glare to his brown eyes that recoil instantly. good to know you still had that effect on him, a small devious smile threatens to play on your lips.

"what do you want?" your voice lowers an octave and the air shifts around you. gone were the days you'd smile with these riders, dine with them, train with laughter till your muscles tired sore. gone were the days you felt anything but disdain for them.

they say people grieve in different ways yet it felt that when they all had moved on and forewards, it was only you that felt the screams in the still of the night, the deep blue of his eyes that softened with every last breath he took. that he died for the people he loved - the same fate as your mother took.

you carried that grief constantly in every minute and every breath you took. how could you laugh and carry on knowing he was meant to exist in the same moment as you if it weren't for the pair of idiots standing at the front of your door. forgiveness was something they'd asked for repeatedly and yet, it didn't feel right. they didn't feel deserving of anything from you, not when they had taken everything from you.

"can we come in?" the traitor's voice is gentle, so soft it almost wasn't there. except it was- like the stark silver that contrasted against the darkness of hair tied into a pretty little braid as always.

"you can certainly try," you take a step back, fighting the empty laughter when her head pulls back in whiplash at the warded door. "don't be so fucking ridiculous," you scoff. "you both have some nerve coming here," and you shift your stony glare onto the man beside violent sorrengail.

"believe me, wingleader mairi," he softens, "yn," he tries again and by the furrow in your brows its clearly the wrong appraoch "i wouldn't be here disrupting our peace if i didn't deem in necessary."

"peace," you spit, "i wouldn't mistake a forced recognition of a power position in need of mutual respect as peace wingleader riorson and neither should any of you," you go to turn (or rather slam) the door at the cadets interrupting your night when her voice calls out again.

"wait! please," she begs, "please." she tries again and you almost remember what it was like before liam's death- who you were before it all unraveled and the you before would have dropped everything for the girl infront of you. though now, you would not make the same mistake your younger brother fatefully had.

"you're out past curfew cadet," and she is met with the dark oak on the other side in finality.

you settle and rest your back against the door, breaths shallow and slow as you pace yourself. you haven't had to confront any of them in a long time and you forgot how ugly the loneliness could make you turn.

stormy one, you feel your dragon vaelith's silky tone sooth the worries folded in your mind. one more awaits at the door.

you know who it is already. the softness carried in his deathly stance is often missed by many. however, years of being his soulmate meant you had memorised every fibre etched into his being.

you open the door gently before his knuckles could meet the wood again with the first soft tap.

"hey," he whispers, slowly lowering his hand and meeting your somber gaze. you nod tightly in return, biting your lip down as you struggle to find the right words.

"hey," you settle for. the strain is evident in your voice and its clear that in holding a simple conversation with no malice and no spite. god, why was it so hard to not be a bitch.

as if testing the struggling waters, he reaches out. not a touch to your arm or a soft embrace but a steady hand holding the door open as if he was worried you'd let it slip and close it on him forever.

"look," he starts nervously, "i don't mean to crowd your space like this, i know things are different now-" your heart stops because you know he really means to say that you are different now. you've caused this imbalance, this awkwardness, this liam sized hole you'd never be able to fill.

"but what xaden said earlier," and at the mention of the wingleader who posed the protection order of your brother, sentencing him to death you still and bodhi immediately detects the shift, moving closer to you on instinct. "we wouldn't be here if we didn't desperately need your help on this."

"and what more could you possibly need from me?" your voice threatens with a crack and bodhi's heart lurches in two. liam's death had hardened you in ways that you hadn't imagined; given you an edge to rival xaden riorson's as you climbed to the ranks of wingleader within no time. you didn't let yourself stop and breathe his life; that would only slow you down. instead his death existed as a weighted blanket that covered you in the nights you spent alone wishing it had been you taken instead, wishing if only you had been as quicker and stronger as you are now that you couldve gotten to him in time.

quickly the blame of your brothers death shifted to xaden to violet to you, and there was nothing you could do to make this easier.

"please," he whispers. he takes a lock of your blonde hair and wraps it around his fingers before tucking it behind your ear. "if there's any part of you willing to move on from the past then meet me in the garden. i'll be waiting for fifteen minutes," he murmurs softly. "there's no way we could do this without you."

he disappears into the corridor, his form in tandem with the creeping shadows and you turn to face the clock. each tick haunted you and if only you could just close your eyes and dream a little longer of home. of blue eyes and carefree laughter, of tyrrish walls and your younger sister sloane.

sloane, you breathe.

it would be a lie if you didn't admit that in the midst of wallowing in your own grief you momentarily forgot about your baby sister- who like you would be mourning alone. you didn't have liam but you swore you would die protecting her- the same mistake could not occur again.

stupid sloane, you breathe again fourteen minutes later as you step foot onto the soft willows of grass ready to speak to the boy who once held your heart and promised you eternity.

. . .

i think it's the right move, vaelith lulls your mind into serenity. she's always been a mother hen, comforting you and not letting you face the darkness alone. but if you would like me to, i would scorch the earth where each of them stand and banish them into an eternity of misery.

a soft snort escapes your lips and you wave her off, tempting, you whisper back along the bond. though, i think tonight is a night where i'll just have to be brave enough to face them before i decide to do anything rash.

you've always been brave, it's why i chose you, she chastises and your warm regard is cut short when you recognise the three figures immediately.

"she's not coming," you recognise the deep timbers of xaden riorson's voice first.

"she will," his cousin returns with a confident finality and the conversation immediately stops when they spot you in line of sight.

bodhi speaks first hesitantly as garrick offers a smile of truce. "hey," he starts up an echo of earlier nerves. it makes you soften realising youre not the only one on unfamiliar territory.

"hey," you nod at garrick in greeting too, purposefully ignoring the wingleader at the end.

"you came," bodhi takes a step closer to you.

"you called," your brows furrowing in confusion. "what is so important you need my help?" and the three of them stare at each other.

"when liam passed," bodhi swallows. "there were some journals he kept about runes. knowledge your mother would have passed."

" i see," you stare upwards into his soft chocolate eyes. you will yourself to stay as still as possible, grateful for the height he has on you that way the tears would not be able to escape your glistening eyes.

"only you would be able to decipher the meaning of it and locate the missing protection rune," he finishes. but you don't focus on the last sentence. you focus on the fact that liam having journals was not uncommon knowledge to you, you kept a few of them in secret after having to clear out his room months ago. journals from your mother? that was not what you were expecting.

"and where are these journals?" you ask with a deathly stillness.

"i have them," xaden riorson finally speaks up. "and you may see them if you wish."

"if i wish," you seethe immediately, fire bursting within your veins. "that is mairi property and i will fucking kill you if you do not return them to my bloodline." a casual shrug of defiance from xaden is all it takes before you're lunging for him, hand and dagger wrapped around his throat.

as if expecting you, xaden lets his shadows wrap around you in turn and lifts you away from him and into the air. your dagger clatters to the ground and you hear a stern "no" errupt from bodhi.

"xaden, if you don't put your fucking shadows away then i will," his voice is menacingly quiet that xaden raises a brow at his cousin.

you use the element of surprise whilst the two cousins are engaged in a silent combat and use your signet of harvesting to grow vines from the ground and wrap around the elder riorsons throat. its caught him off guard for sure and a smirk settles its way onto your lips as his shadows scramble and you fall to the ground with a satisfactory thud. he wheezes and the tan of his golden kissed skin borders a terrible blue before your vines vanish entirely.

fucking bodhi, you grumble. you turn to him, arms crossed unimpressed with his countering. "you never let me have any fucking fun," you mumble but his gaze does not waver from his cousin.

"she is not to be touched," he swears and its eerie how with no words he is able to get his point across within seconds. xaden touches at his throat and nods, taking a step closer to you.

except bodhi is quicker and stands in the middle of you two- a year ago you would have never imagined being nemeses with one of your best friends yet fate has a funny way of showing its cards.

"please," he whispers and its so desperate- so unlike him. begging was beneath xaden riorson, surely.

"violet thinks that the runs are the key to strengthening the wards and liam may have been able to locate one of them," he looks up to meet your eyes. "please, i'm begging you to help us."

"she shouldn't be expecting anything more from him- she already took his life," you shove a finger at his chest, except it doesnt meet xaden but stabs at bodhi in the middle instead. if it hurts him in any way, hes as stoic as a brick and refuses to show it.

"you keep punishing us and if that's what it takes for you to grieve then fine," he grits his teeth. "i am asking you nicely before it becomes an order."

" you're talking to a wingleader fuckass," you almost spit in his face. "there is no order."

"as duke to the tyrrish throne, i order you to do your part in protecting your people," his voice is stern as it is low, as if he could be any louder it would be all of your lives on the line.

you stumble over your words, heart skipping its usual steady rhythm and something in you stirrs. an order from the tyrrish throne, an order you cannot refuse. you're stunned into silence, a gentle fuck slipping onto your mind.

"liam died with honour, the least you could do is try to live with some," xaden bitterly commands and you meet his eyes.

"living with honour is not granting you two the mercy of death," you heave through shaky breaths. "if this is to be done, it is done on my terms," the silence of the bagsiath air swallows the four of you whole. "but i want it to be a known fact, my help is not because of any of you or that treacherous bitch," and xaden's brow arches in retaliation, ready to strike again but bodhi places a hand across his chest, willing you the silence to finish. "it is for liam and whatever i find, it is up to me on how we proceed."

"this is violet's plan," xaden emphasises, stubborness radiating from him.

"those are my terms," you don't grant him the grace of meeting his eyes but settle on the man in the middle of you two. "accept or deny whatever the fuck you want, it's not me who needs any of you."

bodhi tenses at the last sentence but somberly nods. he shares a look with his cousin and best friend before settling on you again for a lot longer than the moment needed.

"we accept your terms."

"all of them?"

"all of them," he swears and you bid him a nod farewell before you disappear back to your safe haven of loneliness where the memories of your younger brother and sister carry you whole.

note: idk how many parts this will be im thinking maybe four ?????? but lowk was inspired by that clip from monkey man where kid and sita are both bloodied and she hands him something and just for a second their hands almost touch and THE YEARNING!!! the yearning my god anyways hope u enjoy 💘

[ivyheaven]

"I dabble in dealing with crazy, think you might be surprised," or so she hoped. She wanted to be up for it, to be up to par for him. Listening to him talk about kids, how he loved them but hadn't considered them made her smile, because she understood what he meant. Shared the sentiment. He spoke so casually that her heart raced, how easily the potential for a future flowed from him. "I see what you're saying. I feel the same way. Hadn't thought about it much, or at all. You have also completely changed everything around me." Well, sort of. Their marriage conversation had been good, something she still stood by, though she had to admit part of her didn't hate the idea. "Half crazy, half insane - you're funny, those kids would be iconic. Really? Your brother's settled down already?" Admittedly, she ddi feel better about tonight's events, knowing he was not faltering in their relationship. "I'm hopeful we make it through college," she admitted to him for the first time.

Laurel watched intrigued as Eli's sister connected things together, even with the limited information she had provided. Her ears turned red before nodding. "Yes, that would be me, so sorry about that. Missing your costume would've been no good." Talking to the young girl was easing her worry, her calming presence but also just the adorable conversation that went with it. It didn't allow her to sit and overthink about the events that had unfolded. Or, the conversation Eli was having with his brother. "He did mention the voices, what's your favorite that he does? I'm sure I can bring up the stories my dad used to tell me. The ducky one sounds like more fun!" Completely engrossed in her story about the duckies, her smile just grew wider A story about finding family, it was a very heartwarming story. "Are duckies your favorite then?"

Isaac rolled his eyes as his brother spoke of the girl who got him tangled up in this mess. He had to admit that he had not heard his brother speak of someone this way, it was a first. It was something that would, on any other occasion, make him smile and feel ridiculously proud that he had found happiness. But, he just couldn't look past the fact that she represented danger. The people she knew put him at risk, and had already hurt him. Isaac couldn't stand for that, no matter how many cute words Eli added. "You sound very sure about her, and I would be glad for you Eli, truly. You know that, no one more than me, would celebrate you finding your person, but she is danger." What Isaac planned or didn't plan wasn't stupid (he thought, at least), so he sighed. "I won't do anything stupid, you know that. I just don't trust that," to not say he didn't trust her, "Has she done anything about this? If she doesn't put a stop to it, they'll keep coming for you. I don't like that you're vulnerable out there, and we're too far."

To that, he frowned. He hated when Eli referred to himself as a burden. Isaac knew why, some of the shit his family said was unforgivable. But, he had to know that they did not agree with that in the slightest. "You are not a burden, stop saying that. Serious shit or not, we'll figure it out. That's what family does. No internal damage, good. You'll be done soon, and Inez can drive you home afterwards. Emma too, she refused to stay. Had to go see you."

Isaac listened to him and chuckled, shaking his head at the idiocy of the guys that had gone after him. "You were judging their technique as they beat your ass? You're unbelievable. People who don't use their hands are cowards, afraid to chip a nail," he said, quoting what their mom told them when she taught them self-defense. "They really could've hurt you though, I hate that we're so far from you."

"Yeah? You want to deal with my crazy?" Eli asked as a small smile spread across his bruised cheeks. "I'll be honest, I love kids but never wanted any of my own. It was just not something I considered. Never having past relationships, there was never any point. But then I met you and everything fucking changed. I can see little kids running around being half you half me. Half crazy half insane. I'll be honest that my brother Isaac is the one that is meant to be a dad. He's got it down but if we make it out of college then I wouldn't mind trying for a kid."

"Friend from school," Emma repeated slowly. "Must be the one that he was late for me one night!" She was referring to the Halloween night where Eli promised he'd be there at seven but didn't come until eight. "He nearly missed my costume!" she nodded. "Yes. Stories make me feel better but only when he tells it. He does voices. Do you like stories? Do you have any?" she giggled and nodded. "I know the ducky one."

Taking a look behind her to see inez still following she squeezed laurel's hand and hummed. "There was this ducky swimming in a giant pool, he was lonely no one wanted to be his friend or take him home. So he swam and swam and swam until one day he found a waterfall. He was so thirsty and drank some water then surprise underneath the water he found a tiny family of duckies. One big one a medium one and a baby one. Lonely duck wasn't lonely anymore."

"Isa, she isn't just some girl. This isn't some college fling. I'm not that stupid. She's different. She stimulates my brain, makes my heart sing. The first person that has shifted my world to slow it down. Makes me feel like I'm not alone in this world. I'm not saying I'm gonna marry her today, besides she may not like what I have to say about marriage but for now. She's not just some girl. Yes I'm going out with her and no I'm not gonna stop because some jocks think they have some weird claim on her. You gotta promise you won't do something stupid when you get here."

"How could I not worry? This isn't like saying I go by my nickname. I'm putting you guys in the middle of some serious shit. You shouldn't carry with the burden that I am." But he knew it was of no use. If he knew them he knew there was a plan. A contingency plan and then a plan c. "Yeah. I got x rays done. They won't keep me since there isn't any internal damage thankfully. I just hate it here."

Eli wanted to joke around and with how isa was responding, they both needed it. "One had a really weak hand. They got a leg up because they used their feet not their fists. Remember what your mom said about people who didn't use their hands?"

[angstywaifu]

Black Dahlia - 57. Questions

Summary: Post execution of Amber, Dahlia has some questions she needs answered. And there's only one person she can trust to give her the answers she needs. But before she can confront the person she really needs to, life decides to throw something else her way. Warnings: Physical abuse where character cannot fight back (punching/hitting). Mentions of blood.

Black Dahlia Masterlist | Masterlist | Links

I should give her more time. She’s been through a lot in the last day. But I have to know. And going to Bodhi or Garrick is going to be no help. I need to hear it from her. Need to hear it from an unbiased opinion before I confront them. I need to get my facts straight in case I've gone down a rabbit hole that I don't need to.

I’d seen both Garrick and Bodhi make a move towards me as they’d descended the dais after formation had been dismissed, but I’d slipped into the crowd before they could get close to me. I know they could tell I thought something was up. Xaden I could understand making it to Violet’s room and being alerted of what was happening to to Sgaeyl’s bond with Tairn. But Garrick and Bodhi also being there didn’t add up. There wouldn’t have been time to grab them. And I know Garrick hadn’t been at his room till at least the early hours of the morning. But I needed more confirmation before I approached them.

I catch up to her just as she’s about to cross into the Academic Wing, tailed by her new bodyguard Liam. “Can we talk?”

She looks at me with narrowed eyes, clearly unsure as to why I’d want to talk to her. For a moment I’m worried she’s going to tell me no and to go away. But she doesn’t. Instead she looks up at me and nods. Which honestly surprises me.

I motion for her to follow me towards the Library, and she quickly obliges. Liam turns to follow, clearly hell bent on going where ever she goes. I hold out an arm, stopping him in his path. “You can wait outside. And don’t you dare try and sneak in.” I warn him. He quickly scans the area, clearly looking for Xaden. When he see’s he’s in the clear he nods and steps back. Seems being his Squad Leader for the last few months still accounted for something.

I follow Violet into the library, quickly closing and locking the door behind us which causes her to turn and look at me with panic.

”I’m not going to hurt you.” I tell her, which doesn’t seem to ease her worries much as she keeps her eyes focused on me.

”What do you want?” She asks as she folds her arms across her chest and looks at me.

”What time were you attacked last night?” I ask her.

She furrows her brow. “It was late. Early hours of the morning I think. Why do you need to know?”

I ignore her question, moving onto my next one. “What were they wearing when they turned up to help you?”

”Um... Flight leathers I think. Why does that matter?” She asks, more demanding than last time.

So they had been out. Xaden and Garrick I could almost pass off as being out with the other third years. But Bodhi… Bodhi I couldn’t. Second years didn’t get called out. And if so, it meant shit had gone royally wrong. But this was now the second time that I knew of that those three had been out together at night. The first one I could potentially pass off as a flight to just get away from here. Or to do some training together. But this one, they’d been out late. Very late. And I couldn’t think of any reason Bodhi would be out that late. Not fully kitted out if Violet was remembering correctly. Which I knew she would be. That girl remembered every little detail, even if she didn’t realise she was. She took in everything.

”Are you going to tell me why you’re asking me this? You could just go ask them. They’re your friends aren’t they?”

“Just curious about something is all. Just wanted to see what you knew was all.” I tell her before turning back towards the door.

”That’s all you’re going to give me?” She barks at my back.

I look at her over my shoulder. “Yes, because you’ve barely given me anything since we were kids. So when you earn the right to get more out of me, you will as I see fit Sorrengail."

I briefly catch her glare before I unlock the door and walk past a waiting Liam who has not moved an inch since we walked off despite the fact he was late to class now. Though I knew that fact would not phase him in the slightest. Where the hell could they have been last night that would have them out that late? Though I couldn’t put it past them to actually just be out on a flight to get away from here. It’s not like any of them were bound by curfew. They were all leadership. And even with that, I knew they wouldn’t give a crap about curfew if they weren’t leadership. So why can’t I shake this damn feeling that there’s something up about last night and that night I’d seen them walking into the courtyard from the flight field?

”Do you know anything?” I ask Proth as I make my way towards my class.

”As I said last time you asked me this, they’re you’re friend and mate. Ask them yourself.” He tells me pointedly.

”That just makes me think you know something.” I point out.

”Your question is more suited for them than for me. I am not getting in the middle of these human matters. You’re more than capable of asking them yourself or figuring it out on your own. You know enough to piece it together if you thought about it.” He tells me with what I swear feels like an eye roll down the bond.

”What is that suppose to mean?”

”It means exactly what I said. Ask them yourself, or sit down and think over what you’ve noticed and the things you’ve questioned all these years. And when you do, we'll talk.”

I go to respond but a figure steps into my path, halting me in my tracks. Professor Lee. Who drags along a cuffed Austin. Followed by Infantry who haul Liz, Kai and Bodhi who are also cuffed. Shit. It’s our turn.

”There you are Aetos. Was wondering where you’d gotten off to.” He says way too happily for someone who is about to drag me off to be tortured.

”Sorry, had to deal with some Squad and Wing issues with some movement of some first years by Riorson.” I say before giving him a tight lipped smile.

Bodhi instantly looks at me. He knows I’m lying. He was probably with Xaden after he couldn’t get to me after formation. But due to our current situation he can’t ask me anything. And now I can’t ask him anything either. Or Garrick. Shit. So much for figuring this out.

”No trouble, we found you eventually. Now, if you don’t mind.” He holds up a pair of cuffs before nodding down towards my hands.

”Don’t mind at all Professor.” I say way too sweetly, causing Kai to mask his laugh as a cough as I hold out my wrists.

Lee locks one of the cuffs on my wrist before stepping behind me and pulling my other arm behind my back and securing it. He tugs on the chain, clearly satisfied I’m not getting out of them. Not like I had a choice in what was about to happen.

It can be found in the room down the third corridor. My assigned phrase to keep secret for the next few days or till we escaped. Easier said than done. But something about this didn’t sit right with me. Something felt off. Like this was going to be more than just training to see how much it took us to break. Maybe it was just the cold feeling of death that had washed over me as they lead us down here, stripping us of our weapons and belongings which now sat spread across the large table taking up the centre of the room.

”Welcome to your interrogation training. You’ve all been given your classified information to protect.” Lee tells us as he guides us into one of the two chambers. Inside the chamber is a table with six chairs situated around it, along with five beds that have mattresses missing along the wall. “Please take a seat.”

All of us cautiously take a seat at the table the best we can with our hands still cuffed behind our backs, Bodhi taking the seat directly across from me. I’d felt his eyes on me the entire way down here, even now he doesn’t take them off me as if he’s trying to read what’s going on in my mind. But whatever they’d been up to last night is the least of my worries.

”For now we are still in a classroom setting. You are not being graded as of yet, and you can ask questions before we change over to the actual scenario.” Lee informs us as he stands behind the only empty chair at the end of the table as one of the Infantry personnel still with us stars uncuffing us. “This scenario is to teach you how to survive capture. How to make sure you can survive what ever is thrown at you. The next couple of days are instructional only, and for your education. But how you respond and react is being assessed.”

”So you’re testing us to see how we’d go when we get to the real thing?” Liz asks as she rubs her now free wrists.

Lee nods. “Yes. And by no means will this be fun. We might be assessing to see how you react, but make no mistake. We will not be going easy on you. This is going to push and test you. So use this time to prepare yourselves as best you can.”

As my wrists are uncuffed, the door opens, a rider walking in with some food and drink. Probably some of the last food and drink we will get before this is over depending how long we’re in here for. Usually it’s only two days, maybe three from what we’d been told. But there was no way to tell. They made it different for every squad so we couldn’t be prepared for what was to come. We could be here for only a few hours, or a few days. And that just added to the suspense of it.

”I’d recommend eating and drinking what you can. I can’t promise you’ll get food again before you’re out.” Lee tells us before turning to leave. “Oh, and you all need to share a secret with each other. Something no one else knows. When I come back the scenario will begin. Just remember, every rider has sat here and made it through this. You’re a strong squad.”

And with that we’re left alone with the pitcher of water and bread. Not the most appetising last meal. But it was probably in case we couldn’t handle what they did to us and it ended coming back up. Bland food was better for that. We all reach forward taking a piece of bread and a glass of water. All of us sniffing it to see if it’s been laced with something. Once we’re all satisfied it is just bread and water we sit back and look around the room.

”So who wants to go first?” Liz asks after a few moments of silence.

I turn my attention to Bodhi. He already knows what I’m about to say. But if I can use this situation to get something out of him. I will. ”My father blames me for my mothers death.”

Bodhi’s winces at my words. He knows that’s not something I’d normally say. He knows I’m trying to make him feel bad by freely giving out a secret I'd only told him and Garrick. And do I feel bad for doing it? Yeah, I do. But I know he’s keeping something from me now. Can I blame him? No. But does it hurt just a little bit? Yeah…. it does.

”Why?” Austin asks, the first to break the silence after I reveal my secret.

”I can’t say why. But he’s always blamed me for it. Never forgiven me for it.” I tell her as I look away from Bodhi.

She gives me a nod and a small smile. Lee never said we had to go into detail. And the confession is still something Austin, Kai and Liz didn’t know. And something they didn't know either. I just hope none of them broke and revealed it. If word got back to my father, I’d have some explaining to do.

”I’ve been keeping something from someone close to me. I want to tell them so badly. But I can’t. I know it’s not a proper secret, but it’s all I can say.” Bodhi says suddenly as he cuts off Kai who had opened his mouth to say something.

I look over at him, see him looking at me still. He offers me a soft smile. And I know the confession is meant for me. His words make me nervous. Whatever is going on, he wants to tell me. Wants to bring me in on whatever is going on. But can’t. And I feel like that reason is Xaden. It has to be. But what does Xaden have to do with me questioning things? What had Proth meant by that? There was plenty things I’d questioned over the years. Was it everything I’d questioned? Or just one of them? I’d have to talk to Bodhi after this. But would he even tell me? Yes he’d confessed he knew something. But it didn’t mean he was going to tell me. And Garrick… would he tell me? Whatever it is had to be big. I don’t even realise the others had revealed their secrets, completely lost in my thoughts till the door swings open again.

Lee guides us to the other chamber, this one far emptier than the other. All that sits in this room is a singular chair in the middle of the room with restraints, and chains hanging on one of the walls. In the dim light I can easily make our dried blood and various other stains on the stone floor and walls. Remnants of what our peers had experienced in this room. Lee leads everyone over one by one, chaining them to the wall. Everyone but me.

”Take a seat Dahlia.” Lee instructs me.

I hear some of the chains move as I turn and assess the chair. Noting the drain that also sits under it that I’d missed before. I can’t help but feel nervous as I take in the chair. I could do this. As I sit down he locks arms into the shackles before doing the same to both my legs. Before he stands he looks up at me and offers me a soft smile. And somehow that makes me more nervous. The point of this wasn’t to show us kindness. But he was. And it unsettled me.

”And now I leave you.” He announces as he stands. “Remember everything I’ve taught you. Whoever walks through those doors till the assessment is over with try to separate you, turn you against each other. Stay strong. You’re probably the strongest squad in your year. I will be outside the entrance. If you manage to escape and make it to me before the scenario is over, you get a patch. Good luck.”

As he leaves that uneasy feeling gets worse and worse. I knew this was coming. We’d had months of lead up and preparation. But somehow my nerves had nothing to do with this scenario. Something wasn’t right. The door slams open revealing two riders. They looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place from where. From living at various outposts and being stationed here, I’d seen hundreds of riders. So I could have seen these two anywhere.

”You have been selected for interrogation.” The male announces as he circles my chair, the female leaning up against the wall as she looks at me. I turn my head to follow him, his eyes completely focused on me just like the females. “You all have some information that we want. So make it easy. Give it up now. Tell us what you know and you’re all free to go. Simple.”

”So what’s it going to be Aetos?” The female sneers as she walks over and crouches in front of me. “Just tell us what you know. Save your squad from all that pain and suffering. One little secret and you all go free.”

”I know a lot of things. Have a lot of secrets. Might need to be more specific.” I tell her with a smirk.

Not even a second later a fist connects with the side of my face, my head snapping to the side as pain bursts through my head. I hear the chains holding my squad mates to the wall rattle as they pull against the chains as if they can come to my aid.

”Being a smart ass is going to do you no favours.” She snarls at me as the male who punched me comes into view. “You know what I want to know. So just tell us.”

I turn to look at her as I blink through the pain. “I think I’m good.”

Another fist, to the other side of the face. And this time I detect the metallic taste of blood in my mouth. Fucking fantastic.

”Leave her alone!” Bodhi growls out. I open my eyes just enough to see him looking at me as he struggles on his chains.

”Oh we found a weak link.” The female drawls as she stands up and walks over to Bodhi.

Instantly I see red. But I can’t give in. This isn’t real. It’s just a scenario.

”Stay strong little flower. Do not break.” Proth tells me calmly.

As if knowing what Proth said the male hits me again, this time higher on my face, my vision blurring from the hit. Fuck.

”I won’t tell you anything either.” Bodhi snaps at them.

”Not even about your charming cousin?” An all too familiar voice drawls, suddenly making me more alert despite the ringing in my ears.

Not him. No. I slowly lift my head, wincing as my head throbs with pain. And now I know why I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong about this scenario as I meet the eyes of my father.

@imtoanonymousforyou @simplyme-fornow @omalmal @lalaluch @wolfbc97 @leptitlu @fullmoon-94 @the-fandom-ness @fan-of-many-bands @awkardnerd @heeseungthel0ml @acourtofsmutandstarlight @fairchild06 @freyagallileaevans @pit-and-the-pen @hannraumari @elliot-rain @thestarseternaal @stupid-and-contagious01 @hyperfixation-train-station @lxnvmvrzx @thebreadisthetruevillian @red0202 @fangirling-galore @craftytrashprincess @taliyahvermillion @xadenswhore @fenixyrie @lagrandeourse @hellodarling1357 @iambored24601  @thegiftofacreativemind @fanfictionjunkie1112 @mysticalfuncollectorus @ohlookitsasinglepoeceofpopcorn @emoravenwolf @imheretobeinvisible @pvrkacciosan @fuckingsimp4azriel @clarewinchester

[nvxzaa]

── .✦ Baby

Masterlist

Pairing : Lee Felix x reader

Word : 1.6k

Genre : fluff

Warning : Felix using is deep voice🙂‍↕️

In the vibrant backstage dressing room, barely thirty minutes before the concert begins, the members of Stray Kids are scattered between warm-ups, nervous laughter and final adjustments. At the back of the room, seated on a large black sofa, Felix slouched nonchalantly, his left hand firmly wrapped around Yn's waist, cradled half on top of him, both legs resting on his knees. He's scrolling through messages on his phone with his other hand, jaw slack, hair still damp from a make-up touch-up.

Yn, for her part, is in the midst of a verbal duel with Lee Know, eyebrows furrowed in that intensity typical of an unnecessarily serious discussion.

- I'm telling you it's impossible," retorts Lee Know. Even in theory, it doesn't make sense. Intention doesn't count more than action, not in this context.

- Wrong," cuts in Yn, waving a hand to back up his words. Intention is the driving force. Action without intention is just a reflex. You don't punish someone the same way depending on whether they meant to do harm or were just clumsy. Even in law, it's a fundamental distinction.

Felix, half-concentrated on his screen, has the corner of his lips lift. He knows she won't let go.

- It's not philosophy, it's logic," insists Lee Know, leaning against a dressing table. You can't say that thinking about doing something is the same as doing it.

Yn raises an eyebrow, calmly.

- So in your opinion, a person who thinks about betraying, but never does it, is no big deal? Do you want us to wait for her to press the red button before worrying? What if she regrets before then? Doesn't her inner struggle count for anything? Intentions are what define us. Not just what we do when someone looks at us.

Silence.

Even the stylist putting away the wigs pauses for a moment, eyes wide. Changbin, from a distance, mumbles an interested "hmm". A staff camera, set up in a corner to capture "natural" moments in the dressing room, films the whole scene. Felix, still concentrating on his phone, stops briefly. Then, in a deeper voice than usual, without even looking at her, he lets out in a whisper that seems to come straight from his gut:

- Baby...

Lee Know blinks. The staff holds back a chuckle. Yn doesn't flinch. She's used to it.

- I'm not saying that thinking is doing," she resumes calmly, crossing her arms, still perched on her crossed legs. I'm saying that what we choose to think, ends up coloring who we are. And sooner or later, it shows. You can't live with the idea that what's in your head has no consequences. It's the beginning of everything, good and bad.

Felix finally puts down his phone. He looks down at her, a thin smile on his lips, watching her as if she'd just redefined the universe. His hand around her waist tightens slightly.

- ...Have you eaten today? Because right now, you're philosophizing about the universe on an empty stomach, and I'm not sure I'm ready for an existential crisis before I go on stage.

Yn laughs softly. She grabs a lock of her hair and wraps it around her finger.

- Think about it after the show, baby.

Lee Know shakes his head, half defeated, half admiring.

- I'm tired of you.

- You too, Minho. But you're funny when you lose," she replies with a wink.

And somewhere, the camera keeps rolling.

The camera is still rolling. Discreet but well placed. Staff love moments like this - nuggets for vlogs or behind-the-scenes that show the real them.

Lee Know mumbles something in his beard, gets up to fetch a bottle of water, clearly brooding over his rhetorical defeat. Felix tilts his head slightly towards Yn, his fingers tapping on his hip like a silent metronome.

- Would you like me to put some honey in your tea afterwards?" he asks, his voice soft and light again, as if his grave declaration of a minute ago had never existed.

- Do you have any honey?" she asks, turning around to get a better look.

- I always hide some in my bag. Have you forgotten what a pain you are when your throat's dry? You're like a cat that never stops moaning.

- Wow. Love is strong," comments Seungmin from a nearby chair, headphones around her neck. Public insult, but with a bag of honey in return.

Felix laughs softly, shoulder shaking Yn in the process. She laughs too, that muffled little giggle she gets when she's trying to stay angry but can't. Then she leans forward slightly to rest her forehead against his collarbone, allowing herself just a moment of calm against him, while the commotion backstage continues.

- Are you stressed?" she asks softly, just for him.

- A little," he admits. Not for the show, but... I know you don't like too much noise. And tonight, there are, like, ten times as many pyros as usual.

- I know. But don't worry about me. But don't worry about me, I'll be wearing my earplugs. Besides... I've got you," she adds, lifting her chin to look at him. As long as I can see you, I'm fine. You've got everything under control. Even the fire.

Felix stares at her for a second, a mixture of admiration and raw tenderness in his eyes.

- You're killing me when you talk like that, baby. I don't even know how you do it.

- I'm used to thinking," she reminded him, tapping his temple.

And as if he couldn't help himself, he leans in and kisses her quickly on the corner of the mouth. Not a show kiss, not a kiss for the camera - just a kiss because he needed to. She smiles, her cheeks barely rosy, but she keeps her composure, as always.

One of the stylists pokes his head in at the entrance:

- Ten minutes, guys!

Felix straightens up a little, but keeps his hand on Yn, like an anchor. She finally moves her legs down from her knees to give him space, but stays to one side. Lee Know passes by them again, bottle in hand.

- Good. Okay. As for intentions... maybe you're not totally wrong," he mumbles.

Yn smiles triumphantly.

- Thanks, Yn. I'll have it engraved in a mug.

The staff in the corner discreetly give the camera a thumbs-up. This scene will most likely end up in a touching montage, with soft music in the background. And fans will no doubt later focus on the precise moment when Felix whispers "baby..." in that voice he reserves only for her - without even realizing it.

"After the scene, in the quiet“

Later that evening, the stage lights are out, the screams have died down, and everyone is scattered in their hotel rooms, exhausted but euphoric. Felix, still in his jogging bottoms and tank top, his hair damp from a quick shower, sits cross-legged at the end of the bed. Yn is leaning against the pillow, a cloth mask over her face, her phone in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. A towel draped over her shoulders still soaks up a few drops of cold sweat.

- Have you seen the tweets?" she asks without looking up.

- No, I've barely checked my notifications... Why? Are they bitching because I missed a step?" he worries for a moment, frowning.

- Not at all," she murmurs with a mocking laugh. You're the tweet, baby.

He looks up, intrigued.

- What kind of sick phrase is that?

She holds out her phone to him.

On the screen: a video montage already reposted hundreds of times. Their scene in the dressing room, captured by the staff, is circulating everywhere. The serious, unexpected, heartfelt "Baby..." sequence is isolated, slowed down, amplified, remixed... even put in the background of a dramatic fan edit with violins.

Felix bursts out laughing at a tweet that reads:

🧎‍♀️"The baby... with his demon voice straight from the underworld, I'll never get over it. Felix... YOU OWE US AN EXPLANATION."

Another tweet:

"Yn remaining unperturbed as he calls her baby like it's a prayer. This woman is blessed, I'm sick of it."

And again:

"Lee Know being debated by Yn, Felix falling even more silently in love, Seungmin commenting like an uncle... it was a backstage stage MASTERCLASS."

Felix runs his hand over his face, blushing.

- Seriously... is that what marked them? Like, not the fireworks, not the high note I worked on for two weeks, but... this?

Yn stifles a laugh under his mask.

- Babe. They know you. They didn't even know you had that voice. It's like you're possessed by Cupid, ASMR version.

- It's not my fault, I was concentrating and you came out with your lawyer monologue. I didn't even mean to...

He grimaces, embarrassed, then looks at her, more tenderly.

- ...But frankly, yeah. I think I was just thinking about how brilliant you are. And I think my brain short-circuited. That's what happened. Now all Twitter thinks is that I have a fetish for lodge philosophical debates.

- That's because you do, isn't it?

- Maybe a little," he admits, moving closer to her on the bed. He rests his head gently against her belly, eyes closed.

- I'm screwed, aren't I?" he murmurs.

- You already were, a long time ago," she replies, gently stroking his hair.

He smiles, his eyes half closed.

- Do you think they'll calm down?

Yn shrugs, amused.

- Have you forgotten that they have the power to make a deep-voiced baby become a trend TikTok? It'll take you three weeks.

Felix sighs into his belly, resigned. Then he looks up at her, his smile tired but happy.

- At least they taste good.

She throws a pillow in his face.

Muffled laughter, thrown pillows, and an exploding Twitter.

Just another night at Stray Kids.

[creatingblackcharacters]

Hey! I would like advice on how to deal with race-bending of pre-existing stories, and also your opinion on if this is even salvageable.

There is something I was writing with a friend that started as a personal project, but I liked enough that I was considering making it into some form of comic. It is a twisted fairytale-type story, with all sorts of fairytales smashed together into a character-focused dark fantasy adventure.

Getting into it: I grew up with Wiley and the Hairyman as my favorite story, so I knew I wanted to incorporate Wiley as one of the main characters. In the brainstorming phase of how to fit everything together, he ended up being the son of Baba Yaga, since his "mama was a conjurer" and Baba Yaga is a famous witch. It seemed like the best way to get a character that young involved in everything.

Wiley is a traditionally Black character, and I want to keep him that way. Baba Yaga is a traditionally white character, and also incredibly evil and potentially the archetype for all antisemitic depictions of witches in media.

The way we wrote it, Wiley doesn't have a father, he was Baba Yaga's biological son made by magic.

I have no idea what to do about this situation. It feels wrong to go out of my way to turn the most evil character in my story Black, especially since I am Jewish and feel more able to gracefully navigate the inherent antisemitism of her concept (like dang she's even a cannibal) than Black mysticism stereotypes that I know exist, but am less familiar with.

When this was a personal project, it felt fine to just have them be different races and handwave it away, since I knew how I got there. But their relationship is very turbulent, with her being emotionally abusive, and him being forced into a care-taker role from a young age. This is meant to be a more traditional family-type power imbalance, but I am worried that if they don't look like family, it brings to mind actual historic slavery, which is not what I want.

I don't really know what to do about all this. The answer might be "keep it a personal project." I just wrote a short story exploring their family dynamic and fell completely in love with Wiley as a character all over again, and got excited about the idea of expanding the project.

Thank you for listening! Sorry if this is a lot!

Okay, so I had to go re-listen to that story; i have heard it before! Yeah, no.

I hear where you were going with it, but to have the... mythology of Wiley be in conjuring (implied to be hoodoo or African-American magic) overlap with that of a white Jewish (caricature of evil, even!) magic as though they are similar enough is... Not cool.

Especially since Wiley's entire concept is that between his own wits and that of his mother's and her powers were able to save him from the tricks and danger of the Hairy Man. His father being lost to the Hairy Man might even be allegory for him being snatched up and lynched, given the time period the story was recorded (told orally in the South and written down later).

To place him under Baba Yaga to be abused, to take away his father and his mother (I.e., his living communal connection to that magic) and replace her with someone who doesn't value him, who created him from magic to serve her... Yeah, I think your concern of "this looks like slavery" are founded, at least from this end. I'd keep this one a personal project, unless you develop how Wiley ends up with Baba Yaga and why we should care that he doesn't try to kill her 😅.

[transfemme-shelterdog]

Ah, another artist I liked saying trans men are never the target of harassment campaigns. They said trans women are specifically being targeted by legislation and that "the focus should be on our sisters, you need to stop making these things about yourself" and called it "what about me"ism. In response to someone saying "this includes trans men" on a post about listening to trans women about transmisogyny.

There's also the fact that op said they might have actually misinterpreted what the other person meant by that, too (might have meant trans men also need to listen), but they said that in an entirely different post, whereas they reblogged the original with a screenshot to shame them. Now the majority of reblogs are just complaining about trans men and have nothing to do with the original point.

I don't get why we can't care about and listen to all trans people when all trans people are under attack. Why is everyone so determined to act like trans men have nothing to actually worry about?

I would probably think it's rude for trans men to insert themselves, like everyone always acts like they are, if it wasn't for the fact that I never see any posts about listening to, protecting, learning from trans men/acknowledging how we are affected by this shit by design that doesn't come from a specifically transmasc themed blog that everyone dismisses because they use the word transandrophobia.

I see people haven't bothered to read my post on statutory interpretation.

Any and all laws that are explicitly written to target trans women, can, and will, be used against trans men/mascs. No exception.

So yeah, even if these legislators are targeting only trans women/fems, it affects every other trans person, and often cis people as well. Every. Single. Law.

For the love of christ people, actually read writeups from people who know more and paid good money to learn this shit at an academic level.

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

Ordinary Chapter 9, Photorealism

Masterlist Word count: 1.9k Zayne x Fem!Reader

Summary: After seeing his best friend getting married to the love of her life, Zayne can't help but be a little jealous. He never had this feeling before. It's almost like he's longing for someone to love. At the wedding, she introduces him to a colleague who instantly forces him out of his comfort zone. Could this be love?

Author's note: It has been a while! I got sick, then was changing jobs, then got sick again. I've been through the wringer but I'm back and better than ever! Or at least I'll try to stick around until I finish this one.

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

Zayne doesn't remember much about yesterday. How he got home, how he got into bed, why his arm feels so numb. None of that matters when he opens his eyes and sees you sleeping in his arms. He's not home, but he feels more than at home. He feels at peace. 

In a fleeting moment of butterflies rushing through his whole body he squeezes you a little tighter, breathing in the faint scent of paint and something uniquely you. It's a smell he notices whenever you're close but can never pinpoint. His heart swells as he revels in the feeling of having you close to him. 

That's when it all comes back to him in humiliating clarity. 

The argument, your ex, showing up at your door in the middle of the night, your help, your giggles, his need for your touch as if it were the only thing keeping him alive. That last one might still be the case. But he had meant to give you space, respect your boundaries, yet his traitorous subconscious had driven him straight to you. 

Just when he starts spiraling, you stir. 

Terrified to wake you, he freezes up. You simply nestle closer to him, sighing in comfort feeling the warmth of his embrace. And through tired lips, he hears you mumble. 

A soft, but distinguishable "Love you." 

Zayne feels his face flush. It is decided. This is his place, his spot, forevermore.  

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

It is hours later when you wake. 

Zayne's body is sore, but he doesn't mind. He tried to stay still so you could rest, only moving when you moved in your sleep. His face is inches from yours when your eyes open and you can't help but smile. 

Somewhere in your mind you had feared he would leave. You know he is not the type to do that to you, but you worried he might've been embarrassed if he remembered the shower. Then again, he was barely lucid. Maybe he doesn't remember anything from last night. 

'I feel like I was uncharacteristically affectionate and needy yesterday.' His voice is low, gravely, tired, as his eyes meet yours. 

'Maybe a little bit,' you tease and move closer to plant a sleepy kiss on his lips. 'I didn't mind though.' 

Zayne goes a bright shade of red as he nods and takes a deep breath. 'We have a lot to talk about, don't we?' 

'We do, but don't you have work today?' Zayne picks up his phone from the nightstand. You had probably put it there. His battery is hanging on for dear life at thee percent as he checks the time and date. That's when it hits him. 

He had been at work for nearly seventeen hours. That would explain why he was as tired as he was. Just when he wants to check his schedule, his phone gives out. He carelessly tosses it back on the nightstand. 'Can I use your phone?' 

'Sure.' You reach back for your own phone and hand it over. Seemingly locked. 

'What's your passcode?' He sees a sliver of doubt in your eyes for a fraction of a second. In his mind, the question was merely functional but he gets that it has to do with trust. Trust that he broke. Trust that you broke as well. 

But then. 'It doesn't have a code.' 

'What?' You swipe your finger over the screen and he watches as the phone comes to life. 'That is highly irresponsible.' Care dipped in judgement. Suddenly you recognize it. A strange, but welcome, thing. 

'You think I want to type in a code when my hands are covered in paint or charcoal?' 

'Fair point.' Acceptance without argument. It makes you wonder why yesterday felt so different.  

As your eyebrows knit together in thought, Zayne drops the phone and looks in your eyes, searching for something. Something he can't seem to find. Not until you actually look at him instead of staring through him in some kind of haze. 

'I need to apologize for yesterday,' he states, as if there is no question about it. This is something he has to do and there's no talking him out of it. You start to open your mouth in protest, trying to admit that you were in the wrong too, but he does not let you. He is faster. 

'When you came by yesterday, I had already had a stressful shift. Daniel came in and started making very distasteful jokes about the nurses that I did not agree with. I was angry at him, but I realized it looked like I was angry at you. I'm sorry.' 

He looks at you expectantly, hopefully, as if you hold his faith in your next words, like the universe will stop existing if you say you don't forgive him. Truth is, you had already forgiven him the second he came to your door last night. The fact your home felt like home to him too, the trust he put in you to care for him, him not wanting to let you go even for a second. It already felt like an apology and your care and love was you forgiving him. 

But there is still something on your chest. 'I am not blameless either. I refused to talk to you and I'm sorry for that. It would've been better to talk it out there.' 

He nods in response and pulls you closer against him. Your phone, his schedule, everything outside the sheets long forgotten as a warm feeling grows between the two of you. 

It has only been a few weeks since you've started dating, but there's one thing you know for sure. 

'I love you, Zayne.' 

The three little words lay on the tip of his tongue. You made them sound so easy, so real. He's not sure if he can give himself into this feeling like you do. But for you, he'll try. 

'I love you too.' 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

Despite the hospital being the last thing on Zayne's mind, the second his phone booted up again after charging it started ringing. Greyson, a name you knew as Zayne slipped it into work stories every so often, called him about a surgery he had to be part of and who are you to keep your man here? 

What was different is that he seemed to doubt if he should go for the first time since you've started dating, but the look of guilt in his face was too much for you. You urged him to go, knowing how important his work is to him. 

You packed him some food while he took a shower. At the door he kissed you goodbye and promised to text you when he was done, but by the time he texted you were gone in your own world, in your studio. 

The music turned way up, curtains open letting in all the natural light, your body almost unconsciously swaying along as you focus on the work in front of you. You can't take your eyes off your canvass for even a second, afraid you'll forget the picture you drew in your mind. 

It has been years since you've painted a realistic portrait, but you felt inspired. No, not inspired. Possessed. Possessed by the spirit of this morning. Possessed by Zayne's beauty. Your fingers have a featherlight grip on your brush, as if the hairs guide themselves through the paint. Blending, adding, caressing the canvas and paint at will. 

Golden light starts falling through the window, illuminating the painting all new and gentle. It must've been hours since you started. You look out the window to see the sun setting and suddenly you realize you are hungry and dehydrated. 

The whole day came and went without as much as a second thought. Your body feels heavy, tired, sore in the shoulders. The canvass you worked on was huge. Big enough for you to have to take a few steps back to admire it fully.  

When you do, you bump into something and two gently hands appear on your arms to steady you. You don't have to look over your shoulder to know who it is. Instead, you lean back into his touch, but something is off. 

'Why the fuck are you painting my doctor?' The hairs on your neck stand up before you can even turn. That sneer you know all too well, and you realize the person behind you is not who you thought they were. You pull yourself away and turn around. 

'Daniel? What the fuck are you doing in my house?' 

'I still have the key,' he huffs as he looks past you at the canvas. 'Still playing with paint I see.' His voice drips with condescension and suddenly you feel very small. A response you've had to his words for a long time. You thought you grew past it, but apparently not. 

'You need to leave,' you state defensively, but you feel your breath hitch in your throat as if all the oxygen is suddenly sucked out of the room. 

Daniel smirks and takes a step closer. 'After you came all that way to visit me yesterday? I thought this was what you wanted. To have me back where I belong. On top of you.' 

Your stomach turns as you realize the predicament you are in. This is dangerous. 'I came to ask you to change your emergency contact.' 

'Sure you did.' He slips past you, standing face to face with your painting. 'You need someone to keep you from being a little whore. I mean, falling for a doctor? That's way out of your league, sweetheart.' He talks down to you like it's the one thing he's put on this earth to do. It's vile, sharp, meant. As if you are nothing more than a sexual object for him to use. 

Such a contrast between him and Zayne. It's like night and day. In the portrait you captured Zayne in the morning light, all soft edges and quiet intimacy lined with sleep. And in front of you stands Daniel who's smirk twists into something disgustingly ugly. Distain. 

'Pathetic. You'll spread your legs for any many who gives you attention, won't you?' He leans forward, the faint smell of alcohol masked by breath mints walms into your face. He's still a drunkard and a fool. 'I'll admit, trading up to a surgeon is smarter than your usual trash.' 

'Leave.' Your eyes fit over to the studio entrance. There stands Zayne and he looks pissed. You've never seen him like this before. His voice rumbles through the room like a command you can't refuse, but there's this strange calm in him. It's icy cold, steady, reliable, dangerously calm. 

Daniel laughs in disbelief. 'Oh my God, you've got him believing you actually like him? Shit, I knew you were a manipulative bitch, but this is a whole new level.' 

Zayne takes a few steps forward. 'Don't address her. Leave. You are trespassing.' 

'It's not trespassing if I have a key,' Daniel sneers back, taking Zayne's words as a challenge. He puffs up his chest, makes himself big, but Zayne is not impressed. He throws a quick look at you, checking in with you, but all you feel is shame. You did not change the locks after you broke up with Daniel because he had "lost the key." 

Suddenly, Zayne moves so fast it has you startled. One moment Daniel was puffing out his chest, the next he is pinned against the wall with Zayne's forearm bracing against his windpipe. 

'The key,' Zayne demands. Daniel wheezes, unable to breathe properly, but his eyes are full of malice as he throws the key to the floor. Zayne lets him go the second the key hits the floor. No need for useless violence. 'Now leave.' 

Daniel huffs. 'Enjoy my sloppy seconds, doctor. She's good at playing house until she gets bored.' 

The door slams closed and then there's just silence between you and Zayne. 

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Previous - Next

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LADS general taglist

@brekkers-whore

@mcdepressed290

@fvcknwww

@floofycookie

@peachystea

@mysticmyth

@syluslittlecrows

@merodis

@astudyoftimeywimeystuff

@sapphic-daze

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

Ordinary taglist

@xxfaithlynxx

@ladyparamount

@beaconsxd

Want to join the taglist? Go here

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

[loki-child-of-frigga]

"Which is why I don't hold your profession against you." Loki replied with a playful wink although he was relieved that she was of a similar mindset since it meant she was less likely to invade his privacy more than just asking questions, which he was fine with. He just didn't want to have to worry about her stalking him or snooping around his home.

"It does if I include enchantments with that effect as I did with yours. As for skin sensitivity, I would just use a different metal. I like how gold looks when paired with black so I chose it. Gold also works slightly better than protective enchantments than silver. Although far better materials can be found in other realms. Every material has its uses and drawbacks. Knowing that and choosing the correct ones for the item you wish to make is the keep to creating a good artifact." Loki answered honestly since he didn't mind giving her this information.

"One of them at any rate. I have quite the collection of knives that I've gotten over the years. This just happens to be my favorite of those I had a hand in making." He replied with a shrug as the knife vanished once more. "I may be a Seidrmandr but I was also a Prince of Asgard and received the same martial training as Thor. We simply specialized in different weapons."

"Probably for the best although you don't need it here since I have enough wards and protective spells on this apartment that it would take something particularly impressive to get in or hurt either of us." He said as his smug smile returned. He was enjoying getting to show off. He might not be as much of a diva as the Avengers thought but he did enjoy praise and admiration. Then again he was a God so could that really be considered a fault?

Margo nodded her head in agreement. Her smirk also shows that she would be willing to check out to see what he would show her. It was silly and ridiculous but it did make her chuckle at the thought of that prank going well and getting a few laughs from others. Rather she would go through it or not didn't matter as it was a distraction from over thinking recent events.

" I couldn't agree more honestly. That's why I try not to be too invasive and I do admit to being over excited about certain things that I often get carried away. I like to think I do okay. I was also never really a fan of paparazzi types or tabloids. Always found them distasteful." She made a face at the mention of them. When she had broken up with her ex who was at the time a up and coming Hollywood editor, it was more than embarrassing to be apart of the circus. Margo thought it would be best to not bring that up yet.

Meanwhile she was focused on what loki was talking about, taking on every information and details of how he use his magic. " hmm, very interesting. And lets say what ever material you would create with the seidr and other of your spectacular stuff, does what ever you make last longer than regular jewelry? Like most times the material and things here on earth can only last for a few years for example. And what about skin sensitively? Like would some people brake out in a rash if they were to ever get a hold of something like this." She asked, holding the necklace in her hand.

" Woah." Margo remarks as he summoned the blade for her to see. Even the look of it was beautiful yet obviously deadly by how sharp it looks. Continues to listen loki and just be amazed at what he can do. If anyone would've told her that she would come face to face with the god of mischief, having a conversation she would've laughed at them. " and this blade..is your weapon of choice im guessing? You also happened to know any slick fighting moves?" Her question was light hearted yet serious.

" Right so that leaves me to keep the necklace on at all times then." Margo said after paying attention to him. Her slight blush at the mention of a shower had margo run her hand against her neck sheepishly. " I think it would be best to keep it on. At least i want to feel more comfortable the more I have it on. Just to know im protected."

[nonagesimus]

(birthday prompt) no clue if you're still crazy about them, teiago sparring? as serious/unserious as you want :>

oh i am Always still insane about them don't you worry

If Viago knew Teia at all, he knew she would have thoroughly warmed and limbered up before he arrived at the sparring grounds at the back of her estate. Which meant the way she was folded forward in a stretch—forearms braced around her calves, curls brushing the ground—was solely for his benefit. And his distraction. He walked over to lean his cane up against the bench beside her, started to stretch out his own muscles. It was an old pattern of movement, one he’d learned when he first started his Crow training. The pull in his hip was familiar but he hadn’t let the old wound make him less lethal yet, and he wasn’t planning on it. It eased a little after a moment. It wouldn’t do to forget, though, because Teia wouldn’t. On the few occasions he fought in earnest, his opponents weren’t aware of the weakness. Sparring with Teia was a different game.

When he straightened she was watching him; her gaze felt hot on his skin, even through his clothing.

“I’m surprised you didn’t come up with some excuse not to show,” she said.

“If you only asked to spar because you thought I would refuse, you can always step down from the challenge,” he said.

A smile slashed across her face like a knife. “Where would be the fun in that?”

She walked away then, towards the centre of the grounds. Viago’s eyes traced down over her leathers; he wondered if she could feel his gaze as acutely as he felt hers.

He followed after a moment, was ready when she turned to face him again.

��To a yield,” she said, and he nodded understanding. The corners of her mouth curling were the only warning before she said, “Match,” and threw herself at him.

Viago stepped out of the way, quick and sharp, struck out at her knee to try and knock her off balance. She snapped around just as fast; his blow traced around her leg rather than impacting.

She shifted back, took more space, rather than betting on him being unbalanced and pressing forward. Her gaze was intent; watching his face, not his body. Not that he could criticise, considering he was watching hers. The difference between fighting someone you know and someone you don’t. Viago tried to keep his face blank. Struck forward instead of waiting for her to come to him again.

A feint at her throat that had her twisting away, followed up by a blow to her ribs that connected solidly. He paid for it, though, her elbow swinging into his arm, a hairsbreadth from deadening the limb. He struck out at her jaw, she stepped in past his strike to turn the momentum of the blow into a grapple.

Viago snarled, taken off-balance, hooked his arm around her waist to pull her to the ground with him.

She rolled off him fast, got out of reach before pushing herself upright, while Viago did the same.

His hip pulsed. Her strategy became clear; the longer the fight went on the more it would become a weakness. If she could wear him out she could exploit it. There was a sharp smile on her face while they circled each other, like she’d seen the recognition on his face. He watched each step for a moment of weakness.

“I’m starting to think we know each other too well to do this,” she said.

“Then why did you ask me to come?” he asked.

“Something doesn’t need to be unfamiliar to be enjoyed.”

She didn’t give him time to respond, surged forward again. Kept on the offensive this time, as they traded blows. She was angling him towards to wall, he had to turn his bad hip towards her to take control. Had to work even harder to protect it.

He pulled her into a grapple again, all harsh breath and contact, her leg curled around his to pull it out from under him and bring him to the ground, landing with the air knocked out from his lungs. He twisted to get his weight on top of her, to pin her down, and as he did her hand curled around his throat. He shifted, minutely, aiming for a position with more leverage, and her hand tightened. She was on her back, one leg propped up and pressed tight against his hip, the other splayed out alongside his own. He was pinning her other wrist to the ground. He could feel her breathing, heavy with exertion, where their chests were pressed together.

“I’m starting to believe sparring wasn’t your goal,” he said, eyes flickering down to her mouth.

The thumb on his neck stroked up and down an inch. She said, “I can have more than one goal at a time.”

[burningcheese-merchant]

Alrighty. I hate saying this, but. I'm probably going to delete the ship discourse asks in my inbox. Too many in there now and my mind is too clear to want to answer them

I think we've all been harsh with each other recently. Shouldn't have had to sleep on that, shouldn't have taken me longer than a few minutes to realize that, but idk. I went to bed last night and woke up this morning and... remembered how old I am and that I have better things to care about lol. But seriously, this recent update has really gotten to people's heads, mine included unfortunately, so I think we all need to take a step back and reevaluate ourselves

To try to explain (not excuse) myself personally. I, my friends and acquaintances, and our little fan community have gotten so much harassment for so long that now that the story is sort of tipping in our favor, I felt... vindicated. TOO vindicated this time around lol. For years and years now we have all been viciously mocked, shunned, called misogynists, called abuse apologists, we've been told to kill ourselves, we've been told bad things should happen to our loved ones. I couldn't help but feel smug when episodes 7 and 8 dropped, and then episodes 9 and 10 pushed me into being legitimately petty and mean. Like, all of this harassment was already pointless, now it's even more pointless because BxA is canon. Sore winner, "they hated Jesus because he told the truth" type shit lol

But... That's dumb. All of this is dumb. They're just video game characters. I'm an adult with adult responsibilities lol. None of this is worth getting bent out of shape about, on any side. Nothing wrong with respectful conversation and debate, but it hasn't really been that this time around. It's been gloating. Teabagging. And that's not cool. So I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry if I've upset anyone with anything I've said. I'm happy about Eternalberry but I've gotten TOO happy haha. I've regained mental clarity and thus the realization that I've started becoming part of the problem. I'm genuinely sorry for that. I want to go back to regular dork levels. Being spiteful and petty sucks, even if it's "justified"

Since I feel bad for leaving those asks awaiting deletion, A) mea culpa mea maxima culpa to those who sent them, nothing against any of you I just want to put the discourse to rest, and B) they all more or less say the same things so I'll just go ahead and bullet point my responses:

TikTok is perhaps the worst social media app ever created, it is an actual blight on society to almost biblical proportions, you are a fool if you listen to anything anyone has to say on there, your first mistake was going there in the first place, Tiktok Delenda Est

Twitter is definitely the worst social media app ever created, it is a blight on society that John meant to record in the Book of Revelation but didn't know how to describe it properly because the internet didn't exist 2000-ish years ago, you are a fool if you listen to anything anyone has to say on there, your first mistake was going there in the first place, Twitter Delenda Est, let's all point and laugh at the Trump-Musk divorce instead

Hero/villain ships are as old as human civilization and fandom nerds today have gotten really uptight about them, it's dumb and honestly really bizarre considering how prevalent it is in almost every piece of media, if someone doesn't like the trope that's perfectly fine it's not for everyone it does get pretty dark but a lot of people seem to put on gestapo uniforms when they're brought up now and it's a waste of time and energy. No one is holding a gun to your heads you guys, you don't need to do it to anyone yourselves

It's nice that I've apparently managed to convince some people to be more open-minded about BxA and hero/villain shipping as a whole, welcome to the club glad to have you, I'm sorry you've had to see some of us do our "obnoxious clown" routine recently, don't worry I'm washing my makeup off rn

I'm disappointed but unsurprised that BxA fans have been getting death threats in places, unfortunately that's how it's always been and it will continue to be that way even if all 5 pairs marry and have sex onscreen. No amount of canonizing in the narrative will change some people's minds. No amount of reasoning or olive branches will make them realize how ridiculous they are. Just have to accept it and ignore them

Cookie Run Kingdom is Baby's First Fandom for a lot of people, and a lot of them are actual, literal children, so all the black and white thinking and lack of understanding and respect makes sense, sadly. This is why I put my age in my blog description haha

Rule of thumb for me personally is to just block people who post hate in ship tags tbh. Spare us both the trouble. I've only responded to one post ever, and it was because the person was asking an honest question in a reasonable way so I thought it was fine to engage. I'd rather not engage people who want to attack and not actually talk. Blocking does us both a favor, I don't have to see meaningless hate on my dash and in tags I follow and they don't have to see content about ships they don't like from me. Win-win

Now, with all that said, I want to say some things I've said before, but would like to reiterate loudly and clearly one more time:

You do not have to like Beast x Ancient. It's perfectly fine and reasonable if you don't. It's not for everyone. Whatever your reasons are, I believe and accept them. I post about them a lot because I love them a lot, and I like talking about things I like. I do my best to tag properly so my weirdo babble is easier to filter out. My posts are more or less just preaching to the choir, I think lol. It's fine if you don't like that, it's fine if you don't like BurningCheese or Eternalberry, it's fine if you don't like Beast x Ancient. I am not your mortal enemy if you don't like them. I'm happy to talk to and be friends with people who don't. I already do so often haha

Furthermore, I want you all to know that no matter what I say about ships I don't like, I don't care if you do like them. I am not out to get you for liking things I don't. Which dolls you decide you like to make kiss is not my problem. I am not your mother, I am not your dictator, I am not God. My opinions are just that, no one is obligated to listen to me or take anything I say to heart. Yes, there are ships I legitimately hate with a passion, but I do not hate the people who like them. Not at all. That's a stupid thing to dislike someone for. I talk to and am friends with lots of people who like things I don't, both on here and irl. The world gets really lonely really fast if you refuse to engage with people who don't march lockstep with you. Especially with regards to fucking Cookie Run lol

Let's all give this nonsense a rest now. This is dumb. I'm dumb. We're all dumb. Let's stop being dumb. I'm happy to coexist peacefully with others. We'll all live happier lives focusing more on things we love than things we hate

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Between Love and Nothing: Seven

It was a rough hand on your hair that woke you. Pulling you from the abyss that you fell into mid cry- worn out finally just before dawn. "What?" you murmur. "Is it a chopper?"

"No choppers here," Logan said, smiling a little. "Charles wants you to sleep. I'll cover your classes- Or Jean. Or Kurt. Someone will."

You sit up slowly, forcing him to move his hand off your head and blink rapidly. Trying to get your bearings. Looking at the clock. Around the room. And then at Logan, sighing, "I can-"

"You look like hell," he snorted, proffering a cup of coffee and a pack of cigarettes.

"Thank you very much," you sniff. Taking one and allowing him to light it for you. Why is he here? Is it Yesterday?

You take a drag and exhale slowly, facing away from him politely and adjust the pillows behind you. The silence stretching out. He has something to say and you can feel it. But you wish he'd just out with it.

"You're really leaving?" Logan asked finally.

"Considering it, like I told Jean yesterday." you hedge.

"You don't have to-"

"It isn't because of you," you sigh. Entirely, you add silently. "Sometimes it's just time for me to go. And besides, the world's a big place still. There has to be somewhere I haven't been."

Logan smiled a little, "Sure about that?"

"No- But. Things do change decade to decade. And if I wait long enough between trips I don't have to worry about seeing old lovers... Or tour guides I embarrassed."

He snorted, "That never does get old."

"It really doesn't, honestly." You sip your coffee and let silence fall again. Trying not to dwell on the pain. Or the want. Waiting for Logan to say what he really wanted to say.

"I understand being tired, Bub," he said looking down at his hands.

You take a drag of your cigarette and exhale, forcing yourself to measure yourself carefully. Logan is not a child. He knows loss. And he'll live a long time. But... How could you explain to him what forever really felt like? It defied logic and explanation. Seeing your girlhood in a museum- the doll your father carved for you and the trunk that held so many hopes- and having them catalogued and listed as if... as if you didn't donate them to keep them from rotting away. Your own wartime letters and journals for centuries. Ship manifests in your own hand from journeys across the Atlantic... All of it used over and over again argued in academic circles while you tittered behind your hand because, well. If they wanted to know what you meant all they had to do was ask.

Instead of speaking you nod. It seems wiser.

"It's only been... Two? Three hundred years?" he ventured. "I know you're older than I am-"

"I was born after the end of the Black Death," you cut in, snorting. "I think in 1360 or so... The records weren't recorded well for the likes of us."

Logan blinked at you, "Not born in a castle, huh?"

"My mother and father were tavern keepers and relatively honest ones," you say smiling a little. "I was the oldest of Seven children. And if my father was disappointed I wasn't a boy, he never held it against me."

"Good of him," Logan snorted.

"For the time," you hum. "But mother made up for it and gave him Six sons- Somehow five of us manage to grow up."

"Not bad odds."

You nod and take another sip of coffee, "The first thing I remember is falling into the stream near our Tavern. It was winter and cold- Freezing. An old man pulled me out." You smile a little and put your cigarette out in the ashtray. "My mother told me later that he told her I was special."

"Y/n-"

"They thought it meant I was lucky... It wasn't until later we all learned that he meant I couldn't die."

[builderfelix2006]

Deltarune Thoughts: Ralsei

Just replayed Deltarune Chapters 1 and 2 (To find the secrets), and I have to say, I love how much Ralsei changes across the story!

In Chapter 1 he's playing his perfect role as a Darkner meant to fulfill the Lightners wishes. In Chapter 2 he gains confidence and Susie helps provide it. He shows more emotion and is more honest about his feelings. He wonders what being Ralsei like means. In Chapter 3 Ralsei goes back to thinking he should just keep the lightners happy. He intentionally evades Susie's questions until he has to answer, and his conclusion is that he's not a real person. Even his big deep speech is about how Tenna shouldn't worry people.

What I like about this speech is that it doesn't help Tenna at all. Noone is comforted by what Ralsei is saying. Ralsei thinks that by removing the burden of concern from people he cares about, he is protecting them, but it doesn't work like that.

By Chapter 4 he seems to be really accepting his status as a member of the team. At the same time, he still feels the responsibility to protect us and Susie from harm. He feels so different in chapter 4. He Cries, and hopes for a different future, and talks about those feelings. His speech about kindness at the start is re-contextualized as a desperate hope that the prophecy will change.

I just love Ralsei's arc so far. I can't wait to see how it continues in future chapters. Is Ralsei going to join Susie in fighting whatever ending they both know about (That we still don't)?

Just imagine being Ralsei. Knowing the future. Knowing it can't be changed but still going in the hope it will. Knowing that there is only one ending, but hoping that maybe if we do everything right, noone has to be hurt. And finding that nothing has changed.

In a way its easy to imagine. Ralsei reflects the player here. We all know there's one ending. We suspect it will be tragic, or bitter sweet. We try to do everything right and find the the prophecy still stands in chapter 4, having predicted our prior actions.

Will we be able to create a new future?

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

"Did you see him? Did you see what he did?" Sirius snapped "God! I can't believe he did that. It was humiliating. What is Benjy going to think?"

James was quiet as he placed a glass of water on his hand "Here, drink up"

"I'm sober!" Sirius spat "I don't need this. Remus is the one that needs it"

James pursed his lips "Lily already gave him some. She is taking care of him. I want to talk with you"

"About what?"

Sirius was furious but not with James. Never with James. He had been excited to plan a party for his friends for Halloween. Not only his lifetime friends from Hogwarts but also his new friends from art school.

Sirius just hated how insecure Remus had gotten. They had been dating for almost two years. They shared an apartment. They loved each other. What else did he need as proof?

Sirius had never loved anyone as he loved Remus. He was so freakingly in love that sometimes that feeling scared him. Sirius could never stop loving him. He was sure of that.

But when Remus got like that, drunk and jealous, Sirius didn't recognize him. He hated when Remus acted all possessive.

Remus had gotten so drunk in fact that said horrible things to Benjy.

"Remus is seeing things where there are not" Sirius said as he took a seat but he was too energetic so he stood up again and began pacing.

"I am the one to blame all the time! But he is the one who got drunk and started insulting Benjy!! In front of everyone! We were supposed to be hosting a party together. I am bloody right to be angry, aren't I?"

James took a deep breath and pushed his glasses up, something that made him look more mature. Maybe he was more mature. He was a father now.

"Do you want me to tell you you're right because I am your best friend and practically brother... Or do you want me to tell you the truth?"

Sirius frowned and stopped pacing.

"What do you mean?" he asked "What truth?"

"Remus got like that because of your attitude" James explained "And I think he's right..." he shook his head "Not about getting drunk and attacking Benjy but about getting jealous"

Sirius was about to reply something to defend himself. But he decided not to contradict James.

Yes, Benjy was a good friend. They had gotten close really fast. He was wild and passionate like Sirius himself. And Sirius had fun with him all the time. It wasn't his fault Remus never wanted to come to the parties or raves. He was more a person to stay home and enjoy a good book. But Sirius was constantly changing. He was in the peak of his youth. Long gone were the days when Sirius was too scared of getting out of the closet or confront his family. He felt young, full of energy, more queer and open with himself. Art School had opened for him a whole new world for him.

James and Lily had a Harry, and they never had time for fun anymore, always busy with baby things. Everyone was invested in their own lives. Sirius barely saw his old friends.

Benjy was fun to be around. He didn't have commitment with anyone or anything. Something Sirius admired from him.

"You do spend a lot of time with that bloke" James added "You talk about him a lot"

"He's a good friend" Sirius replied.

"Really?" James raised an eyebrow. He was being patient "Because Remus is not the jealous type. He doesn't get jealous of me, even if we are close"

Sirius groaned putting his head back.

"That's different" he said "He knows nothing could happen between us, you're like my brother"

"Cheers for that" James grinned "So you're saying something could happen with Benji?"

Sirius didn't know what to answer "I..."

"He's bisexual, isn't he?"

"Yeah but I am in love with Remus" There was no doubt in his words. Not anymore. He had fought with his feelings for so long until he couldn't take it anymore. And bam, Sirius fell in love for the first time "I love Remus"

James nodded, but he didn't seem so convinced.

"Remus wouldn't get jealous out of nowhere, though" James said carefully "Sirius...be honest with me" he leaned closer "Do you have feelings for Benjy?"

It would be easier if James didn't know him this well, if he didn't know when he was lying or avoiding a subject.

There was something that Sirius could only describe as a silly crush. There were moments when his heart began beating a little faster when Benjy touched his arm. Or maybe how much he liked when Benjy teased him. He wasn’t handsome or good looking but his attitude towards life was so attractive. He was so easily queer and just a rebel. Something that Sirius wanted to be.

But he loved Remus and he would never do anything to hurt him.

"Maybe you're confused..." James said seeing Sirius’s expression "But Remus feels insecure is because you don't give him security"

Sirius snorted "Well, I'm always trying to do romantic things together. It's Remus that doesn't want to join"

James shook his head "It doesn't work if you're only doing it because you feel guilty of spending less and less time with him. It has to come naturally"

Sirius wanted to say something but when James said the things as they were, not even Sirius could deny them.

"Remus is not stupid, Sirius" he added "He is realizing something is going on"

Sirius couldn't sleep that night. He felt like the worst piece of shit. His worst fear had been hurting Remus and that was exactly what he was doing.

The thing was that nothing felt like before. They weren't in school anymore. The friend group was all over the place. And Sirius wasn't that kid who thought the Hogwarts castle was his whole world. The rivalry between houses. The pranks. Rugby matches. The Marauders.

Sirius was almost twenty and he felt so tired of trying to dissipate Remus's insecurities. But he did so because he loved him. Although everything felt so wrong lately.

Sirius didn't want to be a bad boyfriend and decided to bring him breakfast to bed.

He usually wasn't the romantic type. And yet once he had been so in love he did all these cheesy things. He was still in love.

"Good morning, Mr. Lupin!" Sirius chanted as he placed the tray on bed and sat next to the sleeping bult of his boyfriend "Waky Waky! There's a delicious breakfast waiting for you"

Remus groaned before opening his eyes. He looked dreadful.

"Hangover, aren't we?"

Well, with everything Remus drank last night...

Remus looked confused.

"I thought you were angry with me"

"I was" Sirius sighed, then grabbed the cup of coffee to put sugar on it "But it is a new day and I want to start it with the right foot" he said "Also, I need someone to help me clean the mess"

And also, you feel guilty, don't you? A voice that sounded too much like James said in his head. Sirius ignored it.

"Pineapple?" Sirius said as he grabbed some pieces with the fork.

Remus was waiting for Sirius to snap at him again probably. However Sirius kept smiling.

"I spoke with Lily last night, I remember" Remus said touching his forehead "She thinks that the way I acted was not okay..." he sighed "And I agree... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything... I was..."

"Jealous?"

Remus nodded "Yes"

Sirius snorted. He didn't want to be angry anymore. But he didn't like the way Remus had acted.

"What's so funny?"

"Your jealousy, Remus" Sirius spat "I don't understand it"

Remus shook his head "Really?"

"Really? Really, what? I don't like that you're constantly thinking that I am going to... I can't stand your insecurity" he was actually not over it

"So I am crazy enough to see ghosts, yeah?" Remus was getting angry.

"You humiliated Benjy last night in front of our friends. I just wanted you to get along with them. With Benjy. I wanted my two worlds to collide"

"Okay I might have stepped over the line"

"Might have" Sirius mumbled mocking.

"But what do you want me to believe? I'm not crazy, Sirius!"

"It's about love!" Sirius replied "It's about trust and maturity" God, they were fighting again "I thought you wanted to be with me forever"

"You're the one who is not mature enough not to keep this relationship afloat"

"I'm doing everything I can!" Sirius almost screamed of fury. It had been exhausting actually. "I don't say anything when you speak hours on the phone with your friend, Grant"

"It is not the same and you know it"

"Right" God, they were so pathetic.

"Grant is like my James"

Sirius simply made a face. He knew Grant wanted to get into his boyfriend's pants all the time. He was just too good to admit it. And oh damn, he was acting the same way than Remus. All jealous and stupid.

"It's not only about Benji, Sirius" Remus said with tears in his eyes "It feels like you don't love me anymore, that I am a burden to you"

It felt like that when Remus behaved like this. Which made Sirius feel guilty again.

"Of course I love you" he said with tears in his eyes as well.

Remus leaned closer.

"Then swear to me you don't feel anything for him"

Sirius swallowed. He had to sound convincing. He had to stop feeling this way. And feeling sort of attracted to Benjy. He felt like he was with one foot in and one foot out of this relationship. He wished he could feel the same way when they started dating. On the top of the world. So happy and so in love. But lately his love was based on pure memory.

"I swear, Moony, yeah"

Remus smiled and kissed him then. And the way he did it felt so wrong and desperate. As if both of them were trying to prove something.

Then Sirius’s phone rang in that second, and as if it was a curse, Benjy's name appeared on the screen.

When Remus saw it, he immediately got hurt.

Sirius ignored the call and blocked his phone.

"Are we okay, then?" Sirius asked, surprisingly desperate.

Remus seemed tense.

"Thanks for breakfast" he said as he got out of bed "But I have to go to work"

And Remus was angry again. This was a cycle that never ended.

Sirius didn't say anything else than "Okay" as Remus entered the bathroom. He even slammed the door closed.

Fuck! Since when did this relationship felt like hell itself?