#But as someone in the comments points out

[gallusrostromegalus]

Random question, could you give some ideas on Irish names your family may have in the 1950-60s? I got a character with an Irish grandpa with 9 brothers and sisters (3 brothers and 6 sisters) and I only got the oldest sister name (soairse) and his name (Caine). I guess I could just name the rest some form of jack and Margret since those seem to be popular, but I wanted to see if there were some “interesting” names you found in your family tree that maybe one of the siblings got named after some ancestor?

Firstly for the sake of clarity: I'm American, not Irish. All of my ancestors for the last 4-5 generations have lived here, and while I like learning about the language/music/culture, I am absolutely not an expert. I HIGHLY recommend getting a sensitivity reader, I'm sure someone in the comments can wave at you if they're willing to take on the job.

Second, Triple-check the spelling, pronunciation, meaning and provenance of any names you do choose, and ABSOLUTELY DO NOT TRUST ANY BABY NAME WEBSITES, they're basically all AI slop at best. The best written-down lists and meanings are actually on Wikipedia.

Third: If you want to learn more Irish names, you can look up the names of like, any Irish musician or artist. I think spotify still has Genre Playlists, if you look up "Irish Folk" you'll get a shitload of names of Real Irish people- and hey, if Hirohiko Akari can name all his characters after 80's pop bands, you can make a subtle ref to modern musicians. Also you'll get a bunch of fun music! --- So while I was writing this, I somewhat departed from the intent of this response, and am putting the last point under a cut because the post got long. And weird.

So there is a thing in Irish-american families, and I think it's true in the British isles still where there are "Family Names", where the same set of first names is recycled over and over and over across generations. My dad's family has exactly three male names that they rotate through over the generations: Roy, Emmet and Jack*. In that order, where the son takes the father's first name as his middle name. My great-grandfather was Roy Jack Surname, my grandfather was Emmet Roy Surname, and my dad is Jack Emmet. My sister and I were AFAB, so the names skipped us and my male cousin in my generation is now Roy Jack. In the event that there are more than three living men with the same surname in the family, that's when they start reaching for the Given Names Of In-Laws We Like and might introduce a new name into the lineup.

*Names changed for privacy above and hereafter, but you get the idea.

So if any of your characters are descendants of that grandpa? They may share a first or middle name with one of his siblings. in fact, they may share the SAME first and middle name with a living relative, and be called "Junior" or "Young Firstname" to distinguish them from the relative they were named after.

My mom's family is from England and has a similar tradition: any new girl born into that family gets a name that is based on the name of one of her living female relatives, usually by sharing the same first letter or syllable. Elanor after Eloise, Vivian after Virginia, and also Jenny after Virgnia via 'Ginny' and every variation of Margret ever, which there are way more of than you'd think.

I cannot recommend doing what they did with Male names though: Name literally every boy Bob* for like five generations, and distinguish individuals by middle name (Bob-Howard and Bob-Benjamin) surname (Bob-Jones and Bob-Bailey) or Honorific (Captain Bob, Dr. Bob, Bob Jr.) when yelling out the kitchen window.

Most families have to good sense to not have the same name repeated in a generation, even if it has a shitload of nicknames. A mother and daughter might both be Margrets (with different nicknames), but two sisters or cousins wouldn't be.

If you've got in-laws you like, but their surname didn't carry over to their kids, you can also just use their surname as a first name! "Regan" is a first and last name, as are Riley and Bailey. This works out in some cases but not in others:

I have a pretty rare surname- last time I checked, there's only 14 people with it worldwide. It's similar to two other VERY COMMON Irish Surnames, but spelled different and from a different region. It's also Very Definitely A Surname- nobody would see my surname alone and think its a firstname.

Since I don't want to bandy it about, we'll pretend that it's "Breathnach", which has a similar vibe.

My Iowa family is Enormous and all descended from my Great-Aunt Lilyanne, Emmet-Roy's sister. Being a good catholic girl, Lillyanne took her husband's surname when she married, and most of her descendants still have that surname, and none have Breathnach.

After the last of my grandfathers grandchildren were born my Iowa family was sad- all but one of Emmet-Roy's grandchildren was female, and my male cousin has his father's surname. Assuming that we would all marry and take our spouses names, the Iowa family despaired that that the Breathnach name would die out!

So one of my second cousins decided that she would Carry On The Family Name, by giving it to the son she was carrying as a Firstname.

Yeah.

Being "Breathnach Surname" is bad enough, but this was compounded by the fact that the Iowa family's surname is Thomas.

YEAH.

My poor cousin Beathnach Thomas, who always has to re-do his paperwork because NOBODY ever puts the names in the correct boxes, who had his first name printed on every jersey he ever had because the uniform place went "that can't be right!", who cant buy his own beer because he's had so many drivers licenses confiscated because liquor store owners and bartenders think his ID is a fake, who has to not only spell his name to everyone he meets, but explain it too.

Then I made it worse.

I ran into cousin Beathnach in Bozeman, Montana quite by accident a few years ago, and while catching up, I mentioned that I was married.

"You know, it's a real hassle, but I'm kind of glad I've got the name I do. I'd heard you sister changed her name, and now with you married- I'd be sad to think we were running out of Breathnachs, you know?" he laughed.

I had to explain.

I married the most wonderful man in the world, who has an extremely common first and last name. Which was kind of a problem, because he shares it with some truly rotten people that always come up during background checks and he has have to explain he's not THAT asshole. It also sounds like and is only a letter or two off a lot of other very common names so his mail is constantly sent awry.

My husband will shortly abandon his too-common-for-comfort surname and become the newest Breathnach, taking the total to 15 (the paperwork takes a while).

...So the name lives on through us anyway, and poor cousin Breathnach Thomas went through all that for no reason. He got very quiet, got up from the table and walked outside to the veranda of the restaurant we were in to stare into the picturesque scenery for a while.

"Well, it's not like people change their first names..." he sighed, when he returned to the table.

"...You know how my sister changed her name? She only changed her first name. She's still a Breathnach." I explained quietly.

I've never seen a man look so haunted.

"I know lots of people who've changed their first names, actually. Mostly for transgender reasons, but a bunch because they just didn't like the one they were given." I added, because if he's going to get his world turned over, it's best to flip it all at once.

His brow furrowed at the ponderous speed of a continental collision, approaching the idea with caution. "...I'll have to think about it."

It's been about a year, but since then, I'll get a text from him every few weeks, auditioning a new given name. I do my best to be fair- I give him the meanings of those names, how they're likely to be misconstrued (some are tolerable annoyances, some pose a safety risk), and if he'd be sharing that name with anybody notable or troublesome. The first few were clearly based on Breathnach, but he began to branch out, and the trend of names has indicated that the idea of Naming Himself is causing my cousin to examine himself, and come to some Realizations (TM).

I realize I have gotten completely off-topic from your actual ask, but I urge you to really get into the nuance of nomencalture, because a name can tell a fascinating story.

[amoressb]

───── STRAWBERRY KISSES 西村 力 N. RK

ꪆৎ ⋆˚࿔ how even the simplest things like a bowl of strawberries can hold the sweetest memories ｡｡ idolbf!riki x reader .

FLUFF & wc. 1000 + ; kissing, skinship ｡｡

──── ARCHiVE

riki sat at the end of the table, lazily twirling a bright red strawberry between his fingers. the rest of enhypen was gathered around him, their usual chaotic energy filling the room as the livestream continued. comments flooded the chat, hearts fluttering across the screen like confetti as fans eagerly interacted with their favorite idols.

the group had been live for almost an hour, answering questions, playing games, and teasing each other as they always did. but lately, the fans had noticed something peculiar…riki seemed distracted. he wasn’t as hyper as usual, his usual playful antics subdued as he occasionally glanced down at the bowl of strawberries sitting in front of him.

“riki, you good?” jungwon asked, nudging him with his elbow. “you’ve been staring at that strawberry for like five minutes.”

riki blinked, realizing he’d been spacing out. he let out a soft chuckle, adjusting his posture. “yeah, i’m fine,” he mumbled, rolling the strawberry between his fingers again.

the fans, sharp as ever, picked up on it immediately. the comments exploded :

“why does ni-ki look so lovestruck?”

“he’s thinking about something…or someone.”

“wait, does this have to do with strawberries???”

jay, ever the instigator, leaned in with a smirk. “let me guess, someone special likes strawberries?” rikis lips twitched, betraying a smile before he could stop it. the rest of the members erupted into knowing laughter.

“oh, he’s done for,” heeseung laughed, pointing at him. “riki, man, you’re too obvious.” riki shook his head but didn’t deny it. instead, he finally lifted the strawberry to his lips, taking a slow bite as the chat exploded with emojis and frantic guesses.

sunghoon, raising an eyebrow, decided to push further. “so, are you saying you only eat strawberries now because of her?” the room quieted for a second, then riki, still chewing, shrugged and casually said, “maybe.” the members lost it.

“CONFIRMED!” jake shouted, pointing at the camera. “he’s whipped!”

“riki, this is a public livestream!” jungwon stifled a laugh, burying his face in his hands. “think of your image!”

riki only laughed, feeling warmth creep up his neck. he wasn’t usually this open about your relationship, but something about today made him feel bold. maybe it was because he missed you.

the chat continued to spiral into chaos :

“is he talking about his girlfriend??”

“ni-ki is literally in love and we are witnessing it live.”

“THE WAY HE’S SMILING SOMEONE HELP.”

sunoo, ever the curious one, decided to dig even deeper. “so, how did this strawberry obsession start, huh?” riki glanced down at the half eaten strawberry in his hand, thinking back to the moment everything changed.

“it’s because of her,” he admitted, his voice quieter now, more sincere. “she loves strawberries. always eats them, always tries to make me eat them. at first, i didn’t really care, but…” he trailed off, his lips curving into the kind of smile that made his members groan in secondhand embarrassment.

“but what?” jay prodded. riki looked straight into the camera, his dark eyes gleaming. “but she said they taste better when they’re shared.”

the members erupted in dramatic shrieks, some clutching their chests like they’d been physically wounded. “ENOUGH.” jake dramatically stood up, pointing at riki. “take him off the livestream. he’s too far gone.”

heeseung pretended to wipe away tears. “our riki…he’s in love.”

“gross,” sunghoon muttered, but he was grinning.

riki just shook his head, amused by their antics. then, as if on cue, his phone vibrated beside him. he glanced down and sure enough, there was a message from you.

“caught you talking about me, didn’t i? i’ll bring strawberries later, be ready.”

his heart did that stupid fluttering thing again. trying to act casual, he set his phone down and returned his attention to the camera. but anyone paying close attention, especially you, would notice the faint pink dusting his cheeks.

“i’ll be waiting,” he murmured before popping another strawberry into his mouth. the chat went absolutely wild.

———————

the dorm was quieter now. after ending the livestream, the members had all gone their separate ways. some showering, some playing games, some already asleep.

riki, however, was waiting. finally, there was a knock at the door. he didn’t even hesitate before opening it and there you stood, a small bag in one hand and a mischievous smile on your lips. “delivery for mr.strawberry lover.”

riki scoffed, but his grin was impossible to hide. “you saw the livestream, didn’t you?”

“oh, i did.” you held up the bag, rustling it lightly. “and as promised, i brought strawberries.”

he stepped aside to let you in, watching as you plopped down onto his bed, pulling out the container of fresh strawberries. you grabbed one, holding it up to his lips. “since they taste better when shared, right?”

rikis lips twitched as he leaned forward, taking a slow bite. the sweetness bursted on his tongue, but all he could focus on was the way you were looking at him.

“you’re really making me soft,” he mumbled, swallowing. you grinned, “i know.” rolling his eyes, he grabbed a strawberry and held it up to your lips in return. you took a bite, chewing happily as riki watched you with an amused smile.

then, out of nowhere, he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. you blinked. “what was that for?” riki shrugged, biting into another strawberry. “you had juice on your face.”

“uh huh,” you said, unconvinced. but before you could tease him, he kissed your other cheek, then your nose, then your forehead.

“riki,” you giggled, lightly pushing his chest. “what are you doing?”

he only grinned, swallowing the last bit of strawberry before his eyes darkened playfully. “making sure you know that strawberries taste better like this.” and then, before you could react, he kissed you on the lips.

it was soft at first, sweet, just like the fruit still lingering on his tongue. but then, as your fingers curled into the fabric of his hoodie, he deepened the kiss slightly, letting himself savor the moment.

when he pulled back, you were smiling. “okay, i’ll admit. that might be the best way to eat strawberries.” riki chuckled, resting his forehead against yours. “told you.”

and with that, he popped another strawberry into his mouth. this time, not because of the fruit itself, but because it reminded him of you.

⋆｡°✩ @miukidoll @liwinly @sugarikiz @hyukabean

[talisidekick]

Someone tagged this with the following and I actually want to talk about this:

This isn't the first response like this. I've had comments, asks, tags like this one, reblogs, and even comments on other platforms where this has spread to that bring up racism and xenophobia. Whether thats accusing me of being racist or hating immigrants (despite coming from a family if immigrants) or just pointing out, like this person did, the inherent xenophobic attitude the world has for my pharmacist to want to change his first name to an English sounding name. And it gets worse, I was given an English name at birth because my mother wanted me to "have a name that fit in". They weren't English, my last name was German, my great-grandmother who was a pillar in the family used German and Norweigan words mixed in her English that carried into my life and still does to this day. And because I wasn't "English", I still got picked on at school to the point I filtered out the german/norweigan in my vocabulary and learned to mimick accents to remove any germanic lilt I had in my speech.

Point being, I made this post recognizing the inherent xenophobia present. That's one of the reasons I told my pharmacist he didn't need to do that for my sake. I kind of suspected he wasn't just being kind. The way he said it had intent. The next time I saw him, nametag out, proud, it was touching to see the name I was given to protect me from xenophobia going to protect someone else, but also a bit bitter that I know part of the reason for wanting to find an English name was the pressure to blend in and sidestep a LOT of bullshit.

My name now is Germanic, my middle name Italian, my last name Ukrainian, and my nickname I use everywhere to make peoples lives easier is Talia or Tali <- To which I've learned "Tali" is a common short-hand/nickname or name for some in the middle-east (I didn't know, I just mashed up my middle name with my childhood nickname 'T' to get it so my friends would have an easier time transitioning over to my new name and it stuck. I just recently found out from a co-worker who just got back from a trip to the middle east and asked me about it). I'm no longer side-stepping the bullshit, I have noticed a difference in treatment. If people don't know me, and haven't seen me, like when it's over the phone or in email, it takes much longer and I have to be more precise with my wording. In fact, I've noticed it a bit when in person too. Next to my English named co-workers, I am treated by some like I know less and I'm scruitinized a bit more. Now obviously if I was a woman of colour and not off-white canvas, this would be 10-times worse in ways I'm not qualified or experienced to explain or get into. I'll leave that to someone WITH that kind of experience to get into.

I've never mentioned whether my pharmacist is a coloured man or not, and I never will. It's not that it "doesn't matter", every aspect of that man shapes his existence and experience of this life. I'm just not clarifying because the moment I do, I know some of you are going to solely focus on his race and miss the nuance of everything this post is about. It's about transgender positivity, discrimination, humour, and the kind-hearted actions of an incredible man in his journey of immigration. By leaving him faceless, every one of you brings something of yourself to this post. Be it simple joy, or further commentary.

The person who tagged this post is one of many who've accurately pointed out one underlying truth about this post. Not everyone is treated equally in society. This happened in Canada. Do you begin to understand the depths this post goes to with all that I've said here? With what you now know about me? Because I think some of you should now re-read the post again.

A while back my pharmacist saw my deadname on my profile and accidentially called it out, he corrected and deleted my deadname from the system so only my preferred name shows up now. There was a crowd of people behind me, so as he hands over the pills he apologized, in equal tone and volume as when he called my deadname and lied saying it's been a long day and he didn't mean to call out -his own- name. I quietly told him it was fine and he didn't need to do that for my sake.

His response: "No, it's my name now."

I went to the pharmacist yesterday, his nametag is my deadname. He informed me he's immigrating and in the process he's changed his first name to my deadname to have an English sounding name. That's why he's now able to get a reprint of his nametag to be my deadname. And repeated, with the intense seriousness of someone who is going to die on this hill: "It's mine now. Not yours. I'm taking." His tone indicated that decision is final.

Bro literally deadnamed me once, and has committed to flat out stealing my deadname. It's his now. Legally. Officially. I over heard his co-workers call him by the name.

[kashverse]

Hi ! What about babykuna's first fight at school or on the playground ? How would it happen? How would her parents react to the comments of the teacher or the parent of the child that babykuna fought against?

By the way I love your writing ❤️

Coming back on your page is part of my routine, now ❤️

babytoru was first introduced in this post, if you missed it out :P

the playground is truly a battleground of politics, alliances, and power struggles. the young rulers of the sandbox empire have their territories marked—some reign over the swings, some control the seesaws, but the slide? the slide is where real power is decided.  on this fateful day, all was running smoothly. the queue was in order. kids were waiting their turn, deals were being made—who gets the best spot in the sandpit, who gets pushed on the swings, and of course, who gets the ultimate first slide down. but then—disaster struck.

enter babytoru.

babytoru, the undisputed princess of the gojo household, struts up to the slide like a celebrity at the met gala. she is wearing a custom LV dress with designer shoes that probably cost more than someone’s mortgage, and she is here to take what is hers. babytoru, with all the grace and arrogance of a true queen, points at the slide. "i wanna go first."

everyone in the queue freezes. it is a declaration of war.

the kids exchange nervous glances. no one dares oppose babytoru—not because they’re scared of her, but because they know—somehow, she always gets what she wants. so naturally, the line parts like the red sea. babytoru hops onto the slide, smug as ever. but what she doesn’t realize is that in her moment of unwarranted self-glorification, she has landed in the worst possible place.

babykuna’s spot.

now, babykuna is not one for dramatics. but she is also not one to be disrespected. and right now, she is disrespected. babykuna’s chubby little arms cross over her chest. her lips purse. her four-year-old glare is burning with the fury of a thousand betrayed souls. babytoru, completely unbothered, smirks at her. "you can push me now."

the playground goes silent. the kids hold their breath. babykuna does not hesitate.

she shoves babytoru.

it is not a graceful shove.

babytoru goes tumbling.

she hits the slide at maximum velocity, flipping over like an olympic gymnast who wasn’t ready for their routine. and then—

SPLAT!

she lands face-first into the sandpit. the horrified screams of the playground fill the air. babytoru is motionless. for a moment, the world stands still. and then—

she wails.

"MY DRESS!"

babykuna immediately starts crying too. "you stole my spot!"

now there are two very loud, very distressed toddlers crying at top volume. the playground is in chaos. some kids have fled the scene. others are watching, fascinated. the sandpit kids do not care because they are deep in their own battles. meanwhile, the fathers arrive. 

gojo, upon seeing his daughter crying in designer fashion disaster, immediately crouches beside her, trying very hard not to laugh. “oh my baby—oh my god, you should’ve seen how you fell—wait, no, i mean, are you okay?” babytoru sniffles dramatically, lifting a sand-covered hand. "my dress is ruined."

gojo bites his lip to stop a grin. “it’s just a little sand, princess. we can—pffft—wash it off.” babytoru glares, lower lip wobbling as she lifts her sand-covered dress.

"this is LOO-WISS… VUHH… VUHEE… VU-TON!"

gojo loses it.

“pffft—yeah, okay, we’ll get your ‘loo-wiss vuhee vu-ton’ dry-cleaned, princess.”

"DADDY!"

meanwhile, sukuna is having a different kind of breakdown. his daughter, his sweet babykuna, is standing there, red-faced, tears streaming, looking both guilty and furious at the same time.

"you okay, kid?"

babykuna, between deep sobs, hiccups, "she—she STOLE MY SPOT!"

sukuna, massaging his temples, exhales, "yeah, yeah, kid, i saw. and you, uh… handled it."

he takes out a tylenol. he dry swallows it. "you’re gonna apologize," sukuna sighs. babykuna stomps her tiny foot. "she should apologize!"

babytoru, still wiping sand off her precious LV dress, gasps. 

"you PUSHED ME!"

"YOU TOOK MY SPOT!"

"YOU TRIED TO MURDER ME!"

"IT WAS A SHOVE!"

"MY DRESS!"

"MY SPOT!"

gojo bursts out laughing. sukuna rubs his face in pure exhaustion. this is going to be a long day.

[sageshouldknowbetter]

Some may be apprehensive that Severance won’t portray Mark’s interaction with Helena in the tent as the sexual assault it was. But not only will they — they already are.

Mark’s behavior toward Helly has completely changed. He doesn’t sit next to her at Irving’s funeral. He shuts down attempts at conversation with offhand, vague snarky comments and a defiantly blank facial expression. When Helly knocks on the door to the bathroom, his eyes dart around like an animal cornered. Where he once would have slowed down for her in the hallway so they could talk, he walks much faster ahead. He’s trying as hard as possible to avoid her. To ignore her. To run away.

Now contrast this with his treatment of “Helly” when she first walked out of the elevator in season two. He waited for her to arrive! He was so relieved she’d come back! And when they were walking down that hallway and he was explaining the situation with Ms. Casey, he stopped mid-stride, turned to her with a smile on his face, and said “Look, Helly—“

He never got to finish that sentence. But some say he was going to confess that though his outie had a wife, his affections lay with her. And I think they’re right.

So why is he acting so differently now? The answer is obvious: “Because they are smarter than us, okay? They know everything.”

After the assault, Mark likely feels like a complete idiot. He spent so much of season one deconstructing his beliefs and breaking free from Lumon’s propaganda. And the minute he believes he’s immune to their lies and no longer a corporate slave, he is taken advantage of and hoodwinked by the very figurehead of said company, masking as someone he loves.

A symbol of Lumon convinced him he was safe. Tricked him. Invaded him in the most intimate way possible, with him completely oblivious, “like an idiot.” Right when he thought everything might be okay.

So maybe Lumon’s right. Maybe there’s no point in fighting. Because if he was stupid enough to not realize his own friend was being possessed by her billionaire doppelgänger, then maybe Lumon is correct about innies being nothing more than pawns. Maybe they are people, and he really is… not. (That’s how Helena treated him, anyway.)

And if that’s the case, of course he wants to give up looking for Ms. Casey and lose himself in work! For a moment he thought he was a human being, deserving of autonomy over his own body and capable of something more than sitting behind a desk — but his assault sends that all crashing down. He is an extension of his outie, made for work and nothing more. Going beyond that gets dangerous. That’s what got Irving killed… and him in Helena’s tent. And Helly? He cannot trust Helly. As far as he knows, his only confirmed moment with Helly since the OTC was when he was holding her in his arms, his jacket wrapped around her shoulders. Why should it be Helly coming back to the severed floor? If Helena could trick him before, who says she can’t learn from her past mistakes and trick him again over and over? Mark refuses to be humiliated and hurt after last time, so he avoids her (and Dylan!) and puts up a barrier of cool, snarky indifference — just like how he deals with grief.

But we know that indifference is a mask. When Milchick walked out of the elevator after revealing he knew about him and Helena Eagan, Mark had no one to pretend for — and he went completely stiff, blankly wide-eyed in an expression extremely reminiscent of his usual innie self. Whatever the reasons for this, one thing’s for sure: Mark does deeply care about what happened in the tent. And at least for now, he will lose himself in Cold Harbor to cope with it.

Lumon certainly got their productive worker back. But good Lord… at what cost?

[mggslover]

Valentines Savior

In which Spencer saves his best friend from a failed Valentines date.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!bau!reader Genre: fluff x slight angst Content warnings: friends to lovers, mutual pining, reader is tipsy, reader curses, confessions of love, vague mention of reader having abandonment issues, suggestive joke Word count: 3,6k A/n: happy valentines my lovers! 💛

Everything seemed perfect. And maybe that was the problem.

The restaurant you found yourself in had the perfect setting. There was the right amount of background noise: the clinking of wine glasses, muffled talking, occasional laughing in the back, and a jazz band playing the most atmospheric tunes. The lights weren’t too harsh—a pet peeve of yours—and the food was delicious, which you knew was a reason for you to return some other time. Just not with the person you were seated in front of now.

Kamil Everett was a good-looking guy. Slightly older than you, but not enough to doubt his reasons for being into you. He had the perfect jaw structure, covered in the perfect amount of neatly trimmed stubble. He had nice, white teeth, not the kind that you could tell was fake. He wore a cologne that was strong enough to notice, but not overpowering enough to bother you. He’d put effort into his hair and outfit, and he asked questions that showed interest but weren’t too invasive. He was perfect. Again, just perfect.

Still, the little devil on your shoulder nagged at you that this wasn’t what you were looking for. That something was missing, something neither Kamil nor the restaurant could give you.

You jumped in your seat when a pocket-sized Penelope with pink wings suddenly popped onto your right shoulder. Fuck, you’d been drinking too much.

“I am sick of this! Truly!” Penelope’s chipmunk voice peeped right into your ear.

“How many times have you come to me, saying, ‘Oh Penelope, someone has put a curse on me. There are no cute guys anywhere. The universe hates me’, and look at you now! Perfect guy, right over there!” Her small finger pointed at Kamil, and you pulled a sour face.

Angel Penelope responded by shaking her head in disapproval. “I will never hear you complain again. Now make sure to turn the poor thing down nicely and send him over to my place so I can give him some love.”

You chuckled at her comment.

“Are you okay?”

You choked on your red wine as Kamil spoke up. Devil you and Angel Penelope disappeared from your shoulders in a cloud of smoke. You coughed a couple of times before nodding, “Yeah, I am so fine.”

You looked at Kamil, seeing the genuine concern in his brown eyes. You knew you couldn’t continue keeping him on like that. “Actually, I think this is not going to work.”

His brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean us,” you answered, pointing your finger between the two of you. “You’re a great guy. I just don’t feel… the spark.”

He scoffed under his breath, immediately standing up and pushing his chair back to the table. You grabbed his wrist as he tried walking off.

“I swear, you’re great! I’m the problem. It’s always me, actually.”

Kamil didn’t get soothed by your words, pulling his arm free out of your grasp and turning his back to you, walking toward the exit.

“I have a great friend!” you yelled after him. “She’s an angel. Literally!” He kept walking, ignoring your pleas.

“I could send you her address! Kamil!”

“Ma’am, please tone it down or I’ll have to call security.”

You looked up to find a stern-looking woman standing in front of your table. When you looked around, all the couples at the surrounding tables were staring at you. You offered them a tight-lipped smile and mouthed a small sorry.

Once the critiquing whispers calmed down, you grabbed your phone from out of your purse, finding Spencer in your emergency contacts as you clicked on the call button.

“Hey, how are you-”

You shushed him. “I’m in a restaurant, whisper, or they’ll kick me out.”

Spencer listened and lowered his voice. “The new one downtown? I’ve been meaning to go there.”

“Well, consider today your lucky day. If you can make it in fifteen minutes, I’ll have dessert ordered for you.”

You chuckled as you heard his keys jingling from the other end of the line. “I’m heading out right now.”

“Good,” you laughed. “I’ll see you then.”

-`♡´-

A sigh of relief escaped you when Spencer walked into the restaurant. He gave you a smile and lifted his hand as he spotted the table you were seated at.

You stood up from your seat, letting out a satisfied groan as he enveloped you in a hug. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Me too. I can’t wait for ice cream.”

You chuckled, leaning back to see his face.

“You smell nice,” he complimented.

“Oh why, thank you,” you playfully responded, grinning as you both sat down.

Spencer observed the cutlery and half-drunk glass of wine in front of him, raising an eyebrow. “I assume I’m not the first person you offered dessert to.”

“Nope,” you answered, exaggeratedly popping the p. “Was on a date.”

Spencer lifted his eyebrows. “Another one?”

“Hey, don’t judge me! At least I go on dates.”

“Does it count if they all run away before dessert?”

You scoffed a laugh in surprise, not prepared for his burn. “You’re such an ass.”

He cheekily grinned. “What was his name?”

“Kamil,” you deeply sighed, knowing you’ll be getting chills every time you hear that name from now on.

“Did you know Kamil is derived from the Arabic element kāmil? Which means “perfect” or “complete”.”

You rolled your eyes, picking up your glass before taking a sip. “Of fucking course.”

You thanked the waiter as he set two neatly made plates of dessert down on the table.

“I thought you gave up on dating,” Spencer wondered out loud, humming as he took his first bite of ice cream.

“I was,” you responded, taking a bite yourself. “Valentine’s an exception, though. I don’t want to be sitting at home by myself.”

“You could’ve asked me to come over. We still haven’t seen all the Star Wars movies,” he responded, commenting on the movie marathon you started last month. Then he pointed his spoon at you, “Well, you haven’t.”

“I know. I just meant spending the day with a lover.”

“I could be your lover.”

Before you knew it, the wine shot out of your mouth, painting your dress and the white tablecloth red.

“Are you okay?” Spencer asked in worry, hurrying to your side as you continued coughing.

“Spencer-” you coughed a couple more times, and his arms made their way around your body, your hands reaching out to pull them off. “Spencer, I swear to god,” you sputtered out, “do not perform the Heimlich on me.”

The fact that you were able to talk reassured him enough to loosen his grip around you. Still, he didn’t leave your side.

You looked down to see the inevitable: your dress was ruined.

“Fuck, I loved this dress,” you groaned in annoyance.

“Here, let me-” Spencer grabbed a napkin from the table, turning back to you and tapping your chest dry. His eyes were focused on the low neckline of your dress, and the movements of his hand slowed, as if hypnotized.

“Spencer?”

“Hm?” He hummed as he continued tapping the now non-existent wine droplets.

“Can you stop touching my boobs?”

He dropped the napkin like it caught fire.

“I-, I wasn’t-”

“You totally were,” you widely grinned.

“No!”

“Yes, you were. You’ve been staring at my boobs all night.”

Spencer swallowed. His gaze quickly landed on your cleavage before he blinked up at you. “Well, I can’t help it when you’re wearing a dress that’s showing décolletage.”

“Ha! You admitted it.”

A red flush crept up his neck, spreading over his cheeks. “That was a ploy! You were tricking me!”

“Ma’am, this is your last warning; I need you to leave the restaurant now.”

-`♡´-

The moon hung low in the sky, the streets cast in a warm yellow glow of the lampposts. A slight breeze caught your skin as you walked out of the restaurant.

“Well, that was a disaster.”

“You shouldn’t have kept insisting on a doggy bag.” Spencer laughed.

You let out a chuckle, turning to him. “Did you see the look on her face?”

Your comment spurred more laughter from Spencer, making him fall against you in response. You widely grinned and nudged his shoulder, feeling proud of getting him to laugh like that.

“This reminds me of the time when I first joined the team and you asked me to have dinner.” You recalled once your laughter had calmed down, still trying to catch your breath.

The moment felt like yesterday. It was strange to be reminded of the fact that it happened years ago. Spencer had caught your attention the instant you joined the team, which was surprising considering the fact he wasn’t a big talker. Well, he talked most out of everyone, but it always stayed on the case, rarely sharing something personal.

That’s why it surprised you that one day, on the jet after finishing a case, Spencer moved from the couch he usually found himself on to the empty chair opposite you. You remember finding it endearing how nervous he looked as he asked you to have dinner with him in a restaurant downtown.

You’d overheard the several times he asked other team members to join him in activities, whether it was a new food chain opening or a movie screening. You didn’t have the heart to tell him no. Besides that, you were curious to get to know the so-called genius Spencer Reid better. He amazed you again when the dinner turned out to be one of the times you’ve laughed hardest in your life. Since then, you knew Spencer would be at the top of your friend list.

“You seem to have a habit of spitting out your drink.” Spencer mused with a grin.

You returned his smile. “That’s because you seem to have a habit of trying to make me spit out my drink by acting like you’re in love with me.”

Due to your tipsy state, you didn’t notice the way Spencer broke eye contact, the way he nervously tapped his fingers against his pants, and how he seemed to look anywhere but at you.

If it wasn’t for the subtle shudder of your shoulder against his, he might’ve never gained the courage to look you in the face again.

“Are you cold?” He asked considerately, his eyes taking over your form.

You looked down at your outfit, reminded again that you were just wearing a sleeveless dress. “Kind of.”

Without saying another word, Spencer took off his corduroy jacket. He held it open by the sleeves, making it easy for you to slide your arms in. His hand grazed the back of your neck as he tugged the collar up, then pulled your hair out from underneath the material, letting your locks fall over the jacket.

You softly mumbled a thanks, and Spencer responded back with a sweet smile.

“It looks better on you anyway.”

You chuckled, “Such a sweet talker.”

“Just to you,” he replied, a little too fast for his liking as he saw your gaze drop to the ground.

What he wasn’t aware of was the rush of butterflies that soared through you at his words, ambushing you in a way so surprising it made you feel nauseous. Or maybe you were still feeling the effects of the alcohol.

It was ironic how naturally the compliments rolled off of his tongue, how effortlessly romantic gestures came to your friend — actions you longed for in your dates.

Spencer Reid was old-fashioned, a gentleman, sure, but you couldn’t help but wonder if there was more than just kindness to his acts. If Derek and Penelope were right every time they gave teasing looks when Spencer brought you your favorite coffee, or when he’d made sure the seat next to you on the jet was always occupied by him.

“Are you okay? You seem quiet.” Spencer noted after the two of you had walked in silence for the last couple of minutes.

“Yeah,” you breathed out in a sigh. “Just thinking.”

“About what?”

His question slipped in your ears just as easily as it went out, as your attention was taken by the neon gelato sign across the street. The brightly colored flavors stood on display, a harsh white light shining down on it, luring you like a moth to a flame.

“Gelato.”

Spencer’s brows furrowed, but before he could make sense of your answer, you took a leap, crossing the street as if invincible to any vehicle that was speeding on the road.

“What are you doing?!” Spencer yelped in panic, eyes flicking over the road before sprinting after you, ignoring the honking cars.

His warm hand caught yours, and in a hurry, he pulled you onto the sidewalk, spinning you around so that your back was pressed against the brick wall, Spencer hovering over you as he caught his breath.

He blinked at you in disbelief, jaw tense, and you couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your mouth.

“Have you lost your mind?”

“We’re all mad here,” you dramatically quote, pointing to yourself, “I’m mad,” and then placing your hand on his chest, “you’re mad.”

“Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland,” he mumbled.

You nodded your head, a wide grin displayed on your face.

“So… gelato?” you asked, wiggling your brows.

Spencer couldn’t help but laugh. “You just had ice cream.”

“Actually, I just had half an ice cream before they kicked us out. And it is not to be compared to gelato. You should know that.”

“Well, gelato does have a lower milk fat content. It usually varies between 4 to 9%, whereas ice cream has to have at least 10% of milk fat. The vast majority of brands have an even larger percentage, some even going up to 25%. Actually, now that you mention it, there are a lot more differences between American ice cream and gelato, for example, the use of eggs-”

You hummed in response as you took his hand in yours, letting him continue his ramblings as you guided him into the parlor.

-`♡´-

Your feet were dangling off the high chair you were sitting on as you licked the red plastic spoon clean that came with your dessert.

“I haven’t properly thanked you for helping me earlier. You really are my Valentines savior.”

Spencer smiled, pulling a lock of hair behind his ear. “I didn’t mind. You can always call me.”

“I know,” you replied just as honestly. “I wish it could be as easy as this with others. I wish I could just date you.”

A flush crept onto his neck, red skin showing on his chest where his top buttons were unbuttoned. “Why-” he hesitated before continuing, “Why can’t you?”

“Why can’t I what?” you asked back in oblivion, scooping another spoonful of gelato.

His fingers fidgeted with his spoon, his gaze nervously fixed on his empty cup as he spoke the next words: “Date me.”

Oh.

The longer you remained silent, the thicker the tension grew in the air. It wasn’t like you didn’t have any thoughts; hell, your mind was full of them. Your earlier theories flashed through your mind again, now getting the confirmation that all his attempts to be close to you meant more than solely friendship. How he had indeed tried telling you about his feelings all this time, and how you’d been blatantly oblivious. How you kept telling him about going on dates with other people while he was pining over you. There were too many thoughts to articulate, to even make sense of.

“Please say something,” his voice cracked in a soft beg, his eyes twinkling with hope, or maybe an emotion closer to desperation.

“I- I don’t know what to say.”

The spark in his eyes flickered out. Spencer mouthed okay while giving you an awkward, tight-lipped smile, his hands finding their way into the pockets of his pants.

You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came out. Instead, he said to you, “Let me walk you home.”

-`♡´-

People always say fresh air is the answer to everything. Feeling sick as a dog? Go outside! Feeling depressed? Go outside! On the verge of a nervous breakdown? Go outside! Turns out whoever invented going on long walks had a point.

Your mind cleared with every step you took. Your initial anxieties around Spencer’s words fade around you in a blur. Slowly coming to peace with his feelings and your own.

Dating your best friend could work.

Spencer, on the opposite, felt more tense after each second that passed in silence. It wasn’t that he regretted being honest with you; the weight of his love for you was overwhelming. It was inevitable that there’d come a time where he’d spill his thoughts. However, he shouldn’t have done it like this, with you not even sober enough to understand the gravity of his words.

So, when you rounded the corner of the street and he spotted your house, which was all too familiar to him, he knew he had to retract his confession.

“I shouldn’t have said that earlier. I just… like you. A lot.” He rubbed his forearms, either in a nervous habit or because the cold was getting to him. “And I thought you felt the same, but I’m aware that it’s irrational because, well, you go on dates. And you go on dates with people you like and-“

“Spencer,” you interrupted, having to catch his eyes to get him to focus.

“I know it was inappropriate to confess that I’m in love with you when you’re not even sober. Alcohol interferes with the communication pathways of the brain, so this might be the worst moment possible to admit to something like this.”

“You’re in love with me?”

This caught Spencer’s attention. He focused on you with a puzzled look. “Well, technically I asked you why you wouldn’t want to date me, but I-”

The words died on his tongue the second your lips found his. It felt like you finally got the confirmation you’d always longed for. Someone that knew you inside out, who understood you, and who wasn’t afraid of showing you.

Spencer’s mind was spinning. His hands hovered awkwardly in the air before he settled them on your cheeks, holding you as if afraid you’d disappear.

It was only after a couple of seconds that his IQ regained from 60 to 187, using his hands to gently pull you back from his lips.

His lips remained slightly parted, pink and swollen from the kiss, and his eyes narrowed in overwhelming confusion. “What was that for?”

“That was to show you that I love you too.”

“You can’t just say something like that.”

“But I mean it, Spence,” you stated in confidence. “I was stupid for not seeing it before. For some reason, it felt like you and I were impossible. The thought never occurred to me that we could date. We’ve been friends for so long. But you’re the only one who actually cares, the only one who stays, and I see that now.”

His eyes watered at the creaking of your voice, but he blinked the upcoming tears away. He took a deep breath. Selfishly, he didn’t want to say the next words, satisfied living in the delusion that you loved him back, but he knew he had to stay objective.

“Alcohol consumption also heightens emotions.”

“I know what I’m feeling, Spencer,” you assured. “I’ve just… I’ve been afraid of you leaving me as well, of seeing me as not lovable enough, that I didn’t even consider it a possibility.”

You let out a small self-deprecating laugh, making his heart ache.

“Just give me another chance, please. I will not be so oblivious this time,” you spoke, the corner of your mouth slightly lifted.

His expression mirrored yours, and he gently grasped your hands, his thumbs running over them to bring you comfort. “Can you call me tomorrow?”

You looked up at him.

“If, uh, you still feel the same when you’re sober, we could talk about it.”

There was nothing you were more certain of at that moment. Still, you nodded.

-`♡´-

The buzzing of his phone on the nightstand was enough for Spencer to wake up with a pounding headache. His mind had worked overtime yesterday, rolling in bed in anxiety, waking up every fifteen minutes, and now he was experiencing the physical side effects of it.

“Hello?” he answered, pressing the device against his ear, too sleepy to have checked who called.

“Spencer?”

At the sound of your voice, he sat straight up in bed, his back leaning against the wooden headboard.

He cleared his throat. “H-hi, yes, it’s me.”

There was no pause on the other end of the line, your words determined. “I still love you.”

He leaned forward, pressing the phone closer to his ear, in an attempt to absorb your words.

“I’m really happy to hear that.” His fingertips skimmed along his jawline, in need of proof that he was awake, that this was actually happening. “I love you too. Still. Right now. Always, probably.”

You chuckled at his nervous rambling, hearing him breathlessly laugh in reply.

“Good. Because I don’t want to waste any more time second-guessing.”

“You shouldn’t worry. You won’t be able to get rid of me. I won’t leave you.”

He meant the words in a light, joking manner, but still your heart happily pounded at the sentence.

“Neither will I.”

[witherby]

Wait I kinda wanna see mousy’s blow up 🤭

You can absolutely see the blow up 😏

The Littlest Wayne: Boiling Point

The post that inspired this response is Here!

Masterlist is Here!

You can't remember what started the argument. An errant comment, some joke in poor taste, an accusatory question — it could have been anything. All you know is that you said something you felt was important, Damian ignored it, Tim dismissed it, and Dick acted like you hadn't said it to begin with, and now you're livid and don't want to finish your dinner.

"May I be excused," you say to Alfred, already pushing your chair back from the table before he can respond. Your grandfather gives you a concerned look, but nods.

"Shall I bring something up to you later, young master?" He asks. You don't know if you'll have any appetite by then, but you agree anyway to spare his feelings.

"Where are you going?" Bruce asks, frowning as you stand to leave. "I haven't seen you in a week, honey. Even if you're not hungry, can you sit a while?"

"Whose fault is that," you snap. The room gets real quiet after that, a mixture of surprise and incredulity painting your father's face.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not making you go anywhere, dad," you scowl, "if you missed me then you'd find the time to see me."

"Hold on. I don't think that's very fair," Hal speaks up, reaching for your hand. You pull it away from him. "Mouse —"

"It's fine," you say, "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of one. I'm well aware. It's fine. We'll spend time together some other day. Go stop a robbery or rescue some damsels or something."

"What's with the 'tude, Flitty?" Dick pipes up, standing to block the door. "Pump the brakes for a sec. Talk to us."

"Talk to you? What, so when you inevitably forget this conversation happened you can pretend we never had it to begin with?" You sneer at your brother, looking him up and down. "No thanks. I'm not interested in being gaslit today."

"Gaslit?" Dick balks, looking like you struck him. "I've never —"

"Let them go, Dick," Tim says, twirling a bite of pasta around his fork. "It's just hormones. They'll go back to normal by tomorrow."

"Oh, of course it's just hormones," you scoff, whirling around to point a finger at Tim. "If it's got a logical explanation it's not worth dwelling on. Isn't that right? I can't be upset because I'm just going through puberty! There's no way it's acceptable for me to be upset over anything! My feelings don't matter, so they should be swept under the rug, just like your parents did to you!"

Tim drops his fork in surprise. A bit of pasta sauce hits Damian's check, and he grabs his napkin with an irritated grumble.

"This is such nonsense," the boy mutters.

"Everything that doesn't interest you personally is nonsense," you hiss at your youngest brother. "God forbid someone try to share their love for a hobby that's outside of what you find enjoyable. If the Blood Son doesn't give it his seal of approval, it's not worth the effort! Honestly, I should feel grateful you've blessed us with your presence at all! Surely your inferior siblings are barely worth your invaluable time!"

Your heart's racing. All the little, irritating things about your family that's been piling up inside you are spilling out. Your anger turns the internal hurt into external jabs and low blows, the darkest part of you wanting them to feel just a fraction of your pain at how flippantly they treat you sometimes.

"Sorry, did that upset you, Dami? Aww, it's okay! Like Tim says, it's just an emotional response brought on by some underlying factor! It won't last so it's not worth devoting your time to! And if you're like Dicky, you can just wave it away and say it never happened, no matter what you show him to prove it did! Maybe if you hadn't had the time to make it to dinner and spent weeks or months rushing off to do something more important at the start, you wouldn't have to sit through this conversation at all! Hope that helps!"

A hand comes down on your shoulder, silencing your rant. You whip around to find Jason staring down at you with a heartbroken frown. He looks so genuinely upset that any remaining anger dissipates immediately.

"Mousey," he whispers, "stop. Take a breath."

He looks so blurry. You blink a couple times and realize your panting and crying. No one will look you directly in the eyes except for Alfred, who's visibly tired. There's pity in his eyes.

It stings. God. Everything stings. Your face flushes with color as you realize what you've said and done. You want the earth to open up and swallow you.

It doesn't have to be the earth.

Before anyone can protest, your shadow wraps around your ankles and drags you down, then dissipates.

"Mouse, don't —" Jason kneels on the floor, just a hair too slow. "Fuck."

[ao3-shenanigans]

Once I had a reply to my comment on someone else's 100k+ fic, it was the author telling me that my (total of maybe ~10k) works, posted 3 years ago, had inspired them to write and had made a difference in their life.

I was kind of in shock for a bit because 3 years ago I was in an incredibly bad place and most of my fics are written for escapism. Hearing that the fics I'd put out in order to save myself, in a way, had actually affected someone else to the point that they were able to recognise my username and tell me so genuinely made my entire week.

I think comments really make it worth posting to ao3 as opposed to just leaving written works to languish in google docs / word / other word processors. No matter how much of a solitary endeavour writing is, there's still human connection there and you never know who your works will reach <3

That’s amazing!! I can’t imagine how cool that must’ve been!!

[alexafaie-asd]

Ok, so I'm kind of exhausted because I couldn't sleep at all last night (couldn't stop thinking how to word this all clearer than I tried to in the comments), but I am going to try to actually talk on this more in full.

Putting it all below a read more because this got very long and most people probably don't actually give a damn about learning about how disabilities can affect people so way easier to let people expand it if they want to read it rather than scroll through just to yell "not reading all of that".

The reason I responded as I did is because if you read the above post, it is saying one thing, but its very obviously pointing at something else. What are they trying to say about a person who does not listen to rap? Well it is probably the big classic gotcha of "if you don't listen to this one singular genre of black music then you are most likely a racist". That's the unspoken part.

But in truth that is a very very narrowminded outlook on why someone might not choose to engage with a genre of music.

I thought that I would give just one reason why someone might not choose to listen to rap which is NOT to do with racism - my own experience with how my auditory processing disorder affects me.

Below is a screen shot of what I wrote:

I unfortunately can not share screen shots of what was written in response as the person has either deleted their comment or decided to block me.

But the gist of it was to ignore most of what I wrote. To insist that I should just try harder. They ignored the examples I gave of genres of black music I absolutely adore (motown and soul being the genres I included but there are others my tired brain couldn't retrieve at the time). They ignored me expressing sadness that I can not process what I am hearing, they ignored that it sounds the same as auctioneer speaking.

So I tried again to explain a bit clearer what I meant by how my auditory processing disorder affects me:

I've tried to listen to different artists and have the same issue each time. To try and explain it clearer, with a lot of rap music (at least what I have been exposed to) there is usually a strong drum line, strong bassline and relatively little melody/instrumentals outside of that. The vocals are within the same kind of frequency range as the bass and drum parts. In addition, the music often makes use of distortion and in the production phase it is often quite heavily compressed.

This means that the vast majority of the sounds in the music are within a very narrow band which can make telling the vocals (mostly spoken not sung) apart from the drum and bass parts actually quite hard for me. It blurs into noise. By noise I mean the acoustical definition of "one that interferes with other sounds that are being listened to".

The suggestion of reading the lyrics would be useful if I could tell where the words are spoken enough to follow along. Or in cases where you might think you're mishearing a word - for example eggs and ex can sound pretty close to one another but would vastly change the meaning of the song so you might look the lyrics up to see what is being said.

But if you can't pick out the vocals properly at all? At that point I would just be reading a poem if I read the lyrics. Nothing wrong with poems, but reading a poem is NOT the same kind of experience as listening to music. I usually listen to music whilst I am doing something else, for example working on my cross stitch. I can't be reading lyrics whilst also following a pattern and sewing. And if I am reading something then I don't have music on in the background because I can not focus on both at the same time. (I also have sensory processing disorder so not only issues with processing sounds, but also other forms of sensory input, particular if they are concurrent). I can't do subtitles when watching something on TV for example.

Back to what I said last night though:

That was me trying to explain more that I'm not *wanting* to have this issue! I tried to discuss how I appreciate that a lot of time and effort and skill goes into creating the music. That I would love to be able to experience it how other people experience it.

I got more responses that ignored that, still treated me like I'm choosing to hate on it for no reason when I am not even hating on it. I am saying I respect the genre! I just can't process it into anything intelligible.

And yet again, someone choosing not to actually read what I said, but act like I'm doing something wrong by not listening to a genre of music that my brain can not process.

Rap is just one of the multitude of facets of what makes up black music. Its just one genre. I can understand having a "maybe this person is racist against black people if they refuse to engage with *any* music created by black people". I would agree. But rap is only the one genre. There is so much more to black music than that. Why is it the one genre than gets people all up in arms crying racist? I don't see people saying it about Motown, or Soul, or Gospel, or Blues, or Funk, or Jazz, or Disco... I don't see people saying it about Work Songs, or Ragtime, or Barbershop, or the OG Rhythm & Blues, or early Rock & Roll. All genres that I have listened to at various points throughout my life. Less so gospel if I am being fully honest, but that's simply because I'm uncomfortable with religious music in general (I'm not a religious person at all), but I would say its the best religious music I have heard.

Ultimately, for me to be able to process what I am hearing, I need the words to be clearly sung, not spoken. I don't do well with processing guttural sounds. Those blend in with drums too much. I don't have much luck being able to process spoken word or poems when read out loud. I also struggle to process audio books so don't listen to those either. And there are white bands whose music I avoid for a similar reason - like Muse for example. I know they are skilled musicians, but all the lyrics sound like "nurrr nuurrr nuurr nurr muurrr drrr brrr nnnrrr nrrr" to me. I can't process what they are saying. I also struggle with Coldplay. Loads of people love them so I'm sure they're doing something right. Can't tell what the fuck they're saying though.

Rap just happens to use multiple things that are hard for me to process. I know they make use of the voice more as rhythm than melody - and that is hard for me to process. And this is all before we talk about the kinds of words used. If it is a word I am familiar with then I am more likely to be able to pick out what is being said. However this isn't always the case. There are plenty of times where my partner has spoken to me and I've had to say "I'm sorry, I heard that you were speaking to me, I saw your lips moving, but I did not process a single word you just said, can you please try and say it in a different way?".

I did get one person trying to actually understand & offer suggestions that I might be able to try:

I can certainly give those a go to see if I can understand them enough to enjoy them.

I've already kind of touched on the "broaden your horizons a bit" thing further up in talking about genres, just of typically black music which I have listened to and enjoyed. And so continue to listen to and enjoy. There's also a wide array of genres I listen to within metal (one of my current faves being Ad Infinitum, Melissa Bonny has such a beautiful voice!) and folk music from around the world. I frequently listen to music in other languages, and generally when the words are sung in a melodic way, I'm able to pick out enough that I can just look at lyrics to figure out the few words I'm struggling with. But there are genres of metal that I avoid entirely for the exact same reason I don't listen to rap. I can't tell what is being said. This even goes for Metallica. I have their S&M album which is so well recorded and produced. I can manage to process a lot more of the words sung in the versions included in this album than the original album versions of the song. Even with the lyrics up I struggle with a lot of their original songs - there's a lot of distortion going on, quite a bit of guitar feedback creating noise, the recordings were done in a very cheap studio and are low quality, making the words not very clear as the vocal range is in a similar frequency band as the music. In comparison, the S&M versions which featured the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra in addition to the band's usual line up (for the time) and that additional melody, plus it being very well recorded (different mics for each instrument) meant that it is much easier for me to pick out what is being sung. I still struggle with some of it, but its enough that I can look up what I am missing. But even knowing the words now, I still don't process them properly if I listen to the original versions of the songs. So I don't listen to the original versions. I listen to the versions I CAN process. Plus the extra melody just makes the songs better even without the lyrics.

I still don't think I have really fully done this justice. It sounded way clearer in my head, but I do struggle with putting the words down as I think them.

But I will try the suggestions @eurekq recommended as they at least have been able to come at it from a place of trying to understand (does help that they have auditory processing disorder too). I can't guarantee I will like any of it of course. I suppose it depends on how strong the melody is. Because I really need a strong melody to enjoy the music.

rap has probably been the most consistently popular and influential genre of music for the past 40+ years but your average person on tumblr is less willing to listen to it than a random white teenage boy in the suburbs or a 4channer who lurks on /mu/ every once in a while

[onepieceisreeeeaaalll]

You Swear A Lot | One Piece HC

For V Day, here's another little post! I haven't done an imagine/headcanon in a while, so this is a little blurb that's been in my drafts. Are you someone who swears a lot? Here's what these boys would think!

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Kidd

CW: GN!reader, no specific relationship mentions, could be early relationship/pre-relationship

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

LUFFY

Doesn't seem to notice or care. 

Honestly, he's so used to Nami's mouth at this point that it hardly registers. Not to mention Ace and Sabo growing up. Luffy himself is very familiar with strong verbiage.

When the swear words are used for comedy, though, he won't stop laughing. He loves a well-placed swear word or crass comment.

If you're getting more creative, be prepared to explain what you just said to him. 

“Hey - what did you just say? ‘Never heard that word before.”

Great, now the crew has to deal with Luffy learning a new word. Thanks for that.

ZORO

Will call you out on it, make fun of you, and join in. 

Zoro’s got a colorful vocabulary himself, but really only uses it sparingly.

The first time he hears it from you, though - oh, boy, it’s shocking that something so crass comes out of such a pretty thing like you.

“Wow. You got a mouth on you, huh?” 

But then it begins. No bars, no restrictions. Zoro’s gonna challenge you every step of the way, coming up with rude and worse things to say.

It’s a competition now. And Zoro never loses.

SANJI

Sanji’s no stranger to cursing. He’s a cook, after all - he has his own crass vocabulary to contend with.

Hearing it from you though? Someone so beautiful, seemingly innocent? 

Just like the rest of the crew, he’s heard just the same from Nami, but even still…

He blushes. Completely floored. 

“You're too pretty to be speaking like that, angel!”

He secretly likes it. In fact, he likes it so much that he has to control the places his mind goes when he hears you.

Whether you’re cursing out of anger, frustration, or just using it as an adjective, he always takes notice. 

LAW

Law is pretty crass himself, but even he has his limits.

The first few times he hears it, he doesn’t seem to comment or care. He lets it slide because it just doesn’t seem worth it. He may even find it funny or endearing, though he'd never let you know that.

Even if, in certain circumstances, he may feel that it’s needless.

Finally, after one particular day where you’ve had enough of his stern looks and you bust out your dictionary, he’s had enough.

“That mouth is going to get you into trouble one of these days.” 

That being said, if anyone else were to say that to you, he’d defend you with just as much of a crass mouth. He’s very familiar of the trouble a mouth like that will get you into, and a part of him secretly wishes to see it.

KIDD

This man is so much worse than you, so he finds it funny. 

“Finally - someone who can keep up with me!”

You guys feed off of each other. It’s not just a competition - it’s a goddamn talent show.

The rest of the crew on the Victoria Punk ranges from being humored, shocked, to annoyed.

It may be one of your most attractive qualities to him, quite honestly.

[grahstumhurts]

Strawberries and Cigarettes

"𝙇𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨, 𝘿𝙖𝙮𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙨, 𝙎𝙪𝙜𝙖𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙎𝙢𝙤𝙠𝙚 𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨, 𝙄𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙖 𝙛𝙤𝙤𝙡. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙬𝙗𝙚𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙞𝙜𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙨, 𝘼𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙩𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪"

Sophia x 7th Member! Reader

CW - Implied smut, Use of drugs ( weed)

Prompt - A is preparing themself to roll with their day. B walks on them wearing nothing but their shirt.

Being an idol is busy. Busy life everyday, but when you do have breaks you choose to spend them relaxing. Relaxing as in wearing close to nothing in the comfort of your own room and blowing smoke rings with the joint that Dani so graciously gifted to you. So here you are, Laying on your bed wearing only a sports bra, boxers, and glasses. You're watching some random movie that Manon had recommended you watch and snacking on some popcorn. You pause the movie and get up to stretch, Seeing as your popcorn bowl had almost run out you walk down the stairs assuming that the rest of the Kats had gone out on their day offs as they usually do. You sit on the kitchen island, waiting for the popcorn to pop while humming some random song. The buzz from the weed still settling into your system. You hear footsteps coming down the stairs but it doesn't register in your head that someone had actually been home till you hear a little gasp behind you. 

“Have you been smoking again?” Sophia sternly asks you, Your head whips to the direction where her voice came from. 

“Maybe?” You slyly grin at her just as the microwave Dings. You leap over to it and grab the hot bag with your fingertips. 

“You should put on some clothes, The others should be coming soon.” Her face slightly flushed as you turn fully around to face her, Cheeks full of your hot snack.

“What, you don't like it? Seems like you can't keep your eyes off me, Soph.” You smirk, She sighs at your antics. 

“I’m not saying I don't like it, but…” Your taken aback slightly at her boldness, she traps you between her and the counter behind you. 

“My popcorns gonna go cold, Soph.” You smugly smile at her “Get to your point sweet cheeks,” You tap your finger against her cheek. 

“You're so high aren't you?” She giggles, 

“Mhm,” You giggle.

–

You take a puff of your blunt, breathing it out slowly with a slight burn in your throat that you’ve grown used to. She lays, facing you on your bed watching your every move. 

“I never thought i would be smoking in front of you, Soph” You slowly cough out, Tapping the blunt into the ashtray sitting on the nightstand. Some random CD of yours quietly playing in the background as you two stare at each other.

“You wanna try?” You expect her to say no, but to your surprise she shrugs.

“I don't mind.” 

“Do you trust me?” You take a puff as she nods, You slowly grab her chin, Straddling her waist. Holding her face between your thumb and palm, Her dewy bare skin glowing in the low light of the afternoon sun. You separate her lips slightly with your thumb. You mumble a “Open your mouth”, And she does. Allowing you to blow the smoke past her lips and into her lungs. She glances at your lips, then your eyes, then back to your lips. She coughs slightly at the burn, Her body jolting up right. “Breathe Soph,” You pat her back, stroking her cheekbones as she coughs. Some vapor escaping her lungs.

���Im okay,” She sighs. Her lips, Your lips. So perfectly spaced for someone to kiss another’s lips. Your eyes burn slightly, She bores her pupils into your face. Memorizing each blemish and freckle and birthmark and imperfection. 

“You seem to be doing okay for your first time being high, hm?” You tease her, pushing the stray strands of hair out of her face. Grinning at her, You smugly comment “You look really good from up here.”

“Really now?” She tilts her head to the side teasingly, You lean in close.

“Like.. Really good.” you press your lips to her neck, Kissing her pulse point. You can smell her signature Jojoba hair oil and strawberry lip balm. You feel her arms wrap around your waist, pulling you closer into her body. Your hand trails down to the top of her sweatpants, You look up at her. “Can i?” 

She nods,  “No, I wanna hear you say it for me.”

“I want you, Please”

[hedwig221b]

Do you have any good recommendations for ‘arranged marriage’ for Sterek? I love all your recommendations and the recommendations others leave under your answers but I couldn’t find any that were specifically for arranged marriage.

Please and thank you so much! You are an absolute angel for your recommendations. 💜💜

Ah, thank you! You're so kind! Here are some of my faves...

Meant to be One by sunhazeheart

His nerves felt like a live wire was running hot beneath his skin, hands fidgeting with the silken material of his robe. If he had the concentration to spare, he might had worried about tearing it. It was all he could do to sit there at the vanity, eyes squeezed shut, and try to give in the constricting pressure around his chest that said that he was about to fall into a panic attack. Breath in. Breath out. His own heartbeat rushed in his ears. Being mated to the reclusive king with a frightening reputation to his name, bundled away from his home and father, and then surrounded by underwhelmingly distant faces hiding secrets was not how Stiles Stilinski imagine spending his life soon after turning eighteen. He can only remind himself that it is for the good of his people, both old and newly acquired. But, perhaps first assumptions are made too hastily and a fated match can be made, even surrounded by threats of war, revenge and death’s waiting embrace.

what do you call a rose by the_problem_with_stardust

He sinks down on a rock near a massive tree and rests his head in his hands. Someone nearby huffs. “Looks like my secret spot isn’t so secret anymore.” Derek looks up. There is a guy seated among the twisted roots of the tree. He’s about to get up and leave when the man’s scent hits him. Mate. No wonder his instincts are going insane.

Deflowered by astrugglingstoic

In which there is a prince, a knight, sequential sword fights, and an anecdote about pressed flower petals.

The White Hart of Winter by DarkAthena (seraphim_grace)

Sent to marry the Hale Beast Stiles finds himself alone in a castle left to ruin and watched over by Kate Argent, who he thinks is sleeping with his new husband and seems determined to destroy him.

You Made Me Believe by kits_lightning

“Here he comes.” His father whispered. Stiles couldn’t look, he felt nauseous and anxious. He tried to shake off the memories of witty, sarcastic comments, broody eyebrows, and intense stares. Stiles has been promised to a Prince he's never met before and they're about to get married but he can't stop thinking about the love of his life whom he's had to leave behind for the good of the kingdom…. or so he believes.

Under the Golden Moon by NARKOTIKA

Derek doesn't know how long he sits in his wolf skin, on his haunches, observing Stiles as the sunbeams slant through the trees and cast slashes of light across the omega's willowy form. The boy has his feet in the water, a babe on his hip, a bright smile on his face as the other younglings splash around and soak his garb. The creamy skin of his thighs peek out from the slits running down the sides of his draping skirt, and Derek has never wanted anything more than he wants this beautiful being of the woods.

The Thorns of a Rose by Dexterous_Sinistrous

“You have your mother’s eyes,” Peter suddenly commented, his tone light in his observation. Stiles stiffened at the mention of his mother. “Honest eyes,” Peter added as an afterthought. “Sunlit like the golden embers of coal burning in a forge.” Stiles turned a soured expression on Peter. “Have you a point?” He asked. “Many men have struggled to have those eyes even spare them a glance,” Peter simply stated. “An honest but naive treasure that managed to fool a dragon.” He placed the crown on Stiles’ head, amused when the boy immediately pushed away from him once the ornament was in place. “Hopefully those eyes can fool the Seven Kingdoms into thinking you could love a wolf.”

The Bargain by dr_girlfriend

Time drags on, and it becomes apparent that this is not a part of the tradition. The wolves start to shift on their feet and murmur, but no one attempts to speak to Stiles. He stands, feeling the back of his neck growing red from the sun and his face growing red from embarrassment. What will happen if Derek Hale cannot be coerced to the altar? Will the bargain be revoked?

Union by bythemoonlight

On the brink of war, the union between two strong packs is the only solution. The Stilinski pack is left with an omega heir and the Hale pack an alpha without a mate. Brought together as mates but ripped apart by a long war. They have to adjust to being back together after six long years.

The Decay of a Cosmos by Dexterous_Sinistrous

The memory of Derek confessing to him in the quiet of their shared resignation sparked from her words–“A child is leverage to my mother.” Derek knew what Talia wanted. And he refused to give it to her. Stiles’ hands tightened into fists. This was a gift, but not one Derek had given him willingly. He would live with that knowledge each time he held their son close. ~*~ A tale as old as arranged marriage, with a space opera twist.

A Tale of Two Princes by AllTheseSquaresMakeACircle

Given his nature of who he was, Derek Hale, only son to Talia and Marcus Hale, never expected to be married. Hell, he didn't even appear in public. But, after the war with the Argents, their country needed stability. And a political marriage suited that. Shame it had to be the prince of their neighbors to the south. Stiles had no idea where his life would take him. But a marriage of convenience to the crown prince of one of their neighboring countries wasn't exactly on his mind. He had to admit, it would have it perks. Both for the royal family, and for his country. He just didn't know anything about werewolves. Especially ones who were cursed out the ass. Oh well, he'd figure things out as he went.

The Fox & The Wolf by Dexterous_Sinistrous

The war between the fox and wolf clans has raged for centuries, ignited in a time before anyone can remember. Now both clans—tired of the bloodshed and hate—are searching for a way to end the war. Crowned prince Stiles Stilinski—heir to the fox clan—has agreed with his father to meet with the Hales, the ruling royal family over the wolf clan. Under the counseling of the Druids, both clans are presented with a solution to the war: unite the Stilinski and Hale clans through marriage. To quell their people's anger, both Stiles and Derek—eldest living Hale Alpha—are urged to accept the other as an equal; as their mate. For the sake of their people, both houses make the ultimate sacrifice by choosing duty over love. But, out of what was first assumed to be compromised, quickly turns to be a better match than either could have hoped for. But not all is easy for either clan, as some members refuse to believe that the war could end so easily.

By Moon And Stars by kellifer_fic

"Have you heard of this Alpha?" Stiles asks, shuffling up his pallet so Scott has room to sit. Scott does with a grateful little twist of his mouth. Stefan forces him into the Stilinski ceremonial armor when they travel and Stiles can see that it's heavy and doesn't sit well on Scott. He can't shift encased in metal and Stefan knows it. "I know of him, mostly stories that seem a little fantastical. Shifters exaggerate just like common people. They like their war stories." "Tell me of him. Tell me a war story."

The Arrangement by Arver7

Through blackmail and lies, Stiles and Derek are forced into a marriage neither of them wanted. If they each want to survive each other, they must learn to coexist. But the more they get to know each other, the more they seem to care about each other. But will the lies stop them from falling in love?

The Light in the Woods by DiscontentedWinter

To honour a treaty with the people of a strange land, Derek Hale, prince of the kingdom of Triskelion, has to marry Stiles.

Until Sunrise

“You told me I would have time,” Derek said, simmering with anger. “You promised to leave the choice to me.” “The court is starting to talk,” said Peter. “We do not have a stellar reputation as it is, and your ventures into the world of simple pleasures do not go unnoticed. You do not care, of course. But you are, pardon me, too loud for it to remain discreet.” “You think if I were to have a wife, I would stop fucking?” Peter cringed his nose. “No. It would make you a proper, civilized man. You are getting too old, nephew.” “Fine. But I’ll choose.” “No,” Peter smiled. “I shall choose.” Derek opened his mouth to argue, but Peter did not let him. “We both know you will continue to fuck whomever you want. None of us will be able to stop you. Let me have a pick of a proper spouse to placate the court. That’s all I ask.”

Other fic recs: angsty fics | possessive Derek | historical AU | baby/mpreg | outsider POV | smut | mafia | hurt/comfort | magical!Stiles | Stiles gets kicked out of the pack | BAMF!Stiles | omegaverse | witch!Stiles | creature!Stiles | bad friend Scott | pack mom!Stiles | unrequited love | werewolf!Stiles | dark sterek | single parent!Stiles | feral Derek

[bimbinis]

I know the conclusion to this one is (or seems to be) that the OP would have been better off w a therapist of color, which I don't disagree with but I'm not convinced that it would have been enough to overcome the fundamental issues with the dynamics inherent to therapy, wherein your position of extreme vulnerability in deference to a presumed expert only ever exacerbates the power imbalances of any other relationship where someone is in a hegemonic position above your own without also having the power to ship your ass to the loony bin at their own discretion.

Maybe you will find a therapist who you can connect with on the axes of both race and gender, but how about, as someone pointed out was their case in the comments, class disparity, which is extremely common in a therapist/patient relationship bc poverty is one of the most common issues on the planet for someone to face and experience mental health issues over, while most therapists are quite simply not struggling the same way? Even worse, unless you're getting therapy for free, they are not only not solving your problems in any way whatsoever, they are one of the very things contributing to the aggravation of your circumstances!

I do not hold it against marginalized people to seek therapy as a bandaid solution for their problems that cannot be made to disappear because they are caused by persistent life circumstances, i.e. you live in a racist, trans/homophobic, misogynist, ableist, unequal society, and you can't stop being a POC/queer/female/disabled/poor, and you just want a break from feeling like shit all the time. But we should be able to examine how at the point that we, correctly, identify that this misalignment of marginalizing experiences compared to your therapist leads to such an incapacity to address the things that are actually causing us grief, it might be time to consider if there might be a problem with the therapist/patient relationship at its core and the way it puts us in this position in the first place.

Day 7

[meritski]

thrice upon a time • wanderer x gn!reader

Where you met a certain indigo-haired individual for the third time, though— it seems like you don't know that.

Raiden Ei, the great Electro Archon, created Kunikuzushi for one purpose only: to serve as proof of her ability to make a puppet that could rule Inazuma on her behalf. However, Kunikuzushi was much more than just a simple proof. The tears he shed in his sleep and the glint of hope in his sparkling eyes— he was much more than that.

A puppet is meant to be stern, devoid of likes and dislikes, almost like a machine. Yet Kunikuzushi transcended that definition. He possessed emotions—pure and beautiful ones that illuminated his face.  He liked the golden feather given to him by the said Electro Archon, Ei. And he was no machine, he was almost a human.

Ei couldn’t bear to place him in the harsh role that she intended for him for an eternity as a puppet. It would be far too cruel for such an innocent soul.

Though her intention to free him was motivated by kindness and what she believed (which was she didn't have the right to decide his fate, even though she was the creator of him- he was his own person.) was best for him, the action was interpreted as a "betrayal" by our dear puppet boy.

His mother decided he was a failure from his point of view. And his mother, as divine as she is, doesn't like failures. Because eternity is perfect. And Kunikuzushi is far from perfect.

Fate was cruel, he decided.

And fate decided to prove him right.

"You look like someone who would enjoy the petals of Sacred Sakura blossoms!"

You said cheerfully, your hands covered in dirt as you planted a sapling in a pot.

At first, he didn't realize you were talking to him. Only when you tilted your head in confusion at his silence did he come to his senses.

"Sacred Sakura blossoms?"

His voice came out softer than he intended. He panicked mentally, wondering what was happening. It had barely been a week since he decided to build walls around himself and not let anyone in. Yet the bricks started crumbling the moment he saw you.

Stop that. Three betrayals are enough already.

But your smile was so pretty, and it was directed at him. He felt like he was going to faint; his neck was burning, and he didn’t understand why.

"Mhm, they'd suit you," you said.

Your sweet voice rang in his ears, and now it wasn’t just his neck—his ears, cheeks, and every inch of him felt like they were on fire.

He glanced at the various types of flowers in pots around you. Ah, you were selling them. He reached into his pockets, fully aware that he didn’t have even a single mora.

He wished that some mora would magically appear in his hand so he could buy the sacred sakura blossoms you mentioned. Maybe that would make you smile again.

It came as no surprise when he found himself empty-handed.

But it was definitely a surprise when you laughed and placed the pot he had been eyeing in his hands.

"It's on the house."

Kunikuzushi learned a few things about you in the past few days.

One, you were selling flowers.

Two, you liked flowers. That was pretty much obvious, though he came to learn that it wasn't as simple as it sounded. You liked everything about them: in which conditions they grow, live, die; their meanings— everything.

And three, your hair smelled like flowers. He learned this purely by accident. One day, while he was helping you dry the pots, you were sharing details about what happens if you water the flowers too much. As you handed him the wet pots you had just washed, he took them trying slyly to make your fingers touch. (Just like every other time— and the moment they did, he became so shy that his hands trembled. It was cute, really. That was probably the reason why you weren't commenting on it.) He gently rubbed the towel around the pots while listening to you.

You were so caught up in sharing your knowledge and keeping eye contact with him while doing so that you didn’t notice the cupboard door was open, and you almost fell to the ground after tripping over it.

Almost. Thanks to his fast reflexes, Kunukuzushi caught you just in time. Your arms wrapped around his neck while his hands steadied you by holding your waist.

You were so close that the scent of your hair lingered in his mind.

Oh, and he also learned your name. Although it never rolled off his tongue, he thought it was pretty—pretty like flowers.

"So, you’re going to leave someday, too?"

Kunikuzushi's gaze was unreadable, but you understood it perfectly.

He was reflecting on the past, as the future seemed to hold the same inevitability.

"Yeah, that's what happens to mortals."

Mortals, not humans.

Kunikuzushi sometimes wonders if you choose your words carefully around him.

(And deep down, he knows you do. He is truly grateful for it—for you.)

Just then, your words shifted his perspective completely.

"I’m sure I'll find you in my next life."

Okay, that’s a new concept.

One that he definitely likes.

He wishes that in the Book of Life, your names are written side by side. So you could meet again, just like you said.

By the time he started to forget your scent, he had indeed met you again.

However, he met you without any memories of him.

You once told him that a person's past is what makes them who they are.

And now you don't know your past. You don't know him. Could you really be called the same person?

"You look like someone who would enjoy the petals of Sacred Sakura blossoms!"

Yes.

Yes, he would call you the same person.

You look different, sure, but he still feels that same emotion he buried deep in the space where his heart should have been.

You are truly the same person. His soul knows it.

The problem is, he is not the same person.

And he doesn't think he ever will be.

The Kunikuzushi you once knew is long gone, replaced by the Balladeer—whose hands are stained with blood.

He just wishes his hands were covered with dirt like they used to be when the two of you were arranging the pots together.

Fate was cruel.

Because that was what he, Kunikuzushi, wanted back then. He would meet you again—the you who had no memories of him. He envisioned a future where you would both be happy together, just as you once were.

He promised himself he wouldn't cry over your death. That was the plan. He wasn't going to mind fate's cruelty for once.

For it could have been worse; it could have meant never meeting you at all.

He intended to hold onto the memories of your time together until the day you would meet again. That was his resolve.

However, everything changed when he discovered you had been murdered.

You could have had so much more time. You two could have shared a beautiful life together—if only he had the power.

The power of eternity.

Because he wanted you eternally.

Now that he possessed the power, status, and even the mora he previously couldn’t afford to buy a pot of flowers from you, he found himself questioning whether it would be better to keep you out of his life entirely.

So, he decided that he wouldn't intertwine his fate with yours in this life.

Even though he was strong, he was now a bad guy, and the thought of you being connected to him made his stomach churn. After all, the Balladeer shouldn’t—

Ah, he realized he'd been silent the entire time.

How, you may ask?

You were tilting your head in confusion at his silence, just like you did back then.

The Balladeer decided he was weak when it came to you.

So, when he tossed a pouch of mora to you, all you could do was stare in shock.

"Give the next person you see a pot of them, then."

He turned away and started walking, not minding how you nervously told him the mora was too much.

You deserved better, after all. You deserved to find someone who could truly cherish you.

And more importantly, he heard your voice. He could also recognize your scent—were you using some body lotion now? Or was it just his senses yearning for you? Who knows.

It was more than enough.

He could live with that.

As he walked away from you, he heard you again. It seemed like you fulfilled his request because the line was similar.

"It's on the house."

Someone else was going to hold your hand in that life, someone else was going to share their bed with you.

Worst of all, you were going to love someone else.

But it's okay.

Because it was for you, your own good.

Everything was for you.

Everything.

Everything was going wrong.

He, the one who possessed the Gnosis—which granted him the divine power of his mother, a perfect being and his creator—had been defeated?

This can't be happening.

But it was. He looked at the pathetic excuse of a Dendro Archon in front of him with pleading eyes, his gaze begging her not to take it away.

The Gnosis—a part of his mother.

Fate was cruel.

No, fate is cruel.

It was, and it still is.

The Balladeer, the sixth of the Fatui Harbingers—Everlasting Lord of Arcane Wisdom, Shouki no Kami.

No, to hell with it all.

Kunikuzushi.

Kunikuzushi had lost.

And just before everything went black, he thought about you and entertained dreams of sharing a house with you in another life. It was his way of seeking solace from the universe.

Ah, it seems he was starting to forget your scent yet again.

Il Dottore was the man behind it all.

When the truth about his past finally sank in, he felt a weight on his shoulders.

Katsuragi, the kind and loyal Yoriki, was the one who saved him. He was the one who gave Kunikuzushi a new home, a new name (Kabukimono), and even more—a new family. A family that he once believed would never abandon him.

Niwa, the boy Kunikuzushi admired dearly. His 'betrayal' could have shattered his heart like glass, if he had had one back then. But he just realizes there was no betrayal just as there was no heart to break.

The young companion he had found lying on the floor, lifeless and not breathing, added to his despair.

And then there was you, the one he loved. The one who died at the hands of a doctor.

The 500 years he's been alive, all of it was a lie.

Every moment, every person, everything. It was like a cruel joke.

All of your deaths were merely scenes in a theatre, crafted for someone else's viewing pleasure. Kunikuzushi seemed to be nothing more than the main actor in this cruel play.

All because of a cruel Doctor's thesis.

So, he decides to erase himself or any trace of his existence from Teyvat without hesitating. Because he didn't know what else to do other than that.

Could he carry the burden? Would he dare to atone for his mistakes? Could he live with it?

He wished he had never been born at all. It seemed like from the point he was born— nothing was right.

As the Wanderer tried to comprehend the flood of memories, he found solace in your presence.

Well, your former presence. Still you, though.

He met you, the one he met first, and he wouldn't ask for anything more.

Though deep down, he wishes he had now.

Because you—the one he chose not to intertwine with—seemed sad.

Lonely.

And he feels a lump in his throat when he learns you died alone in that life.

Even though the Wanderer feels guilty about this, he also harbors a tiny little bit of relief. Yet, the guilt consumes him, especially when he realizes the tears you shed while questioning why you were unable to love.

You thought about him in that life as well, but he will remain unaware of that.

What were your thoughts? Simple.

You thought he looked cute—murderous, but cute.

Oh, Archons, if only he knew. Maybe he'd talk with you in secret— No, stop it. He is glad he didn't. Because there was no way the Doctor would leave you alone if he did.

When he finally faced his past, which he once tried to erase, all that awaited him was a glowing vision and a seemingly dangerous situation(nothing too serious than a robot that was designed to be a god, for him. ironic, really. because he was a robot designed to be a god in the first place.).

At least he could still sense your scent during his visit to the past.

It was enough, really.

More than enough.

"You look like someone who would enjoy the petals of sacred sakura blossoms!"

You spoke without much thought; it was simply a guess, after all.

Yet, it caused the stranger's gaze to soften. It was strange to witness the shift from an annoyed glare to... this.

When you tilted your head in confusion, the indigo-haired stranger's eyes flickered with an emotion you couldn't quite identify.

"I would."

He hesitated, looking at the mora in his hand. As if debating whether he should give it or not.

You just laughed, he seemed cute. Murderous one at that but still cute.

I guess it wouldn't hurt to act like one of your pots went missing.

"It's on the house."

Fate is cruel, he doesn't mind.

In the Book of Life, your names had always been written side by side. That seemed enough.

Your scent made up for it, anyway.

𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑ notes!

☆ i've read in somewhere that sacred sakura blossoms mean memories of times with renewal and optimism— fits him, no?

☆ i started writing this at 3 am so it's not proofread again lol i seriously should fix my sleep schedule

☆ the idea sounded better in my head, i feel like i could add more evangelion references but my mind is not minding anymore.

☆ maybe I will rewrite this later (saying that became a habit atp)

[primalsouls]

cold heart, warm hands

jing yuan x gn! foxian! reader

theme: fluff

warning: none

summary: jing yuan took a day off and decided to spend it following a certain foxian with a hot temper. if there was one thing he hate, is those speaking ill of his little fox.

notes: i've never written for jing yuan before, so! sorry if he's a little ooc haha~ anyway, i couldn't stop thinking about reader being annoyed with jing yuan following them around whenever he's off or not super busy and making snipe comments about it, but it never really bothered them in the first place. they just can't handle a very handsome man like jing yuan putting all his love and attention on them, so they can't help but feel super flustered lol~ anyway, enjoy, and any feedback, reblogs, and comments are appreciated!

“what are you doing?”

“hm? i can’t follow my dear fox around?”

“you’re a general, aren’t you busy doing something?”

“hmph— not today.” jing yuan said with a light laugh as he trailed behind the hot-tempered foxian. (name) clicked with their tongue against their teeth. their fox ears pulled back, twitching whenever the general spoke their name in that deep, husky voice of his. 

the foxian was out in the central starskiff haven, planning to do some shopping to restock their little café back at the aurum alley. but they found themself being followed by a certain dozing human they came to love very much. (name) glanced over their shoulder as they crossed the bridge, raising a brow when they spotted jing yuan looking over the rail with his hands behind his back. The foxian tilted their head before walking over quietly, standing a little behind the taller man. 

they studied his face, admiring the light complexion and the little mole under his left eye. it was like falling in love all over again. 

“if you keep staring at me like that, i might not hold back, little fox.” their eyes locked with golden ones, full of playful teasing. (name) let out a sharp huff, cheeks burning at the fact they were caught. usually they would throw an insult at the general for making such teasing comments but today they decided to spare him such silly little jabs. for a little while. jing yuan chuckled, continuing to follow his beloved the second they turned around to hide their embarrassed gaze and walked away from him. strolling through the haven was something the general rarely did and when he did, it was to tag along with his partner in their little errand days. 

jing yuan stood behind (name) as they checked around the grocery stand in the haven, placing the orders they would need for their own business. 

“woah, it’s the general!” a few voices gasped at the sight of the white-haired man. jing yuan didn’t turn around, his gaze still focused on his foxian lover as they huff and puff around the poor merchant, jabbing at his chest with little strength as they complained about something jing yuan failed to hear. 

“you’re always out of protein rice! who the hell would buy all hundred protein rice at once!?” (name) said, their arms spreading out to make their point. The shopkeeper only scratched the back of his head, swearing he knew someone with gray hair who always came by and emptied out his shop. (name) didn’t believe him and continued to scold the shopkeeper for being unprepared. jing yuan chuckled at the sight of the foxian’s frown, but his laugh died down when he heard a scoff not too far from behind him. 

“i don’t understand what the general sees in them? they’re so rude and mean-spirited.” a bystander commented to his friends, not realizing he was being slightly loud. “i’m surprised their café still stands with such a distasteful attitude.” he added with a scowl on his face. jing yuan kept quiet, his arms crossed over his chest as he listened to the conversation about (name). The others in the group agreed, expressing their sympathy for the shopkeeper and the general for having such a difficult partner. jing yuan wanted to turn around and shut down their judged comments about the foxian, but he felt a tug on his sleeve. 

“c’mon, i’m hungry.” they said, waving at the shopkeeper who smiled back at them with a bow of his head. 

“did you sort your issues?” jing yuan asked, curious about the agreement they came to.

“Yeah, next time he restocks, he’ll keep half of the products i want to be stored away until i come over and take what i need.” (name) explained with a nod of their head. jing yuan smiled, looping his arm with his foxian’s. “anyway, are you gonna be busy later?” they asked, to which the general shook his head in response. he freed today to spend it with his beloved. “then let’s have a date tonight. it’s been a while since we had one.”

“that would be wonderful. a nice evening alone with my little fox.” jing yuan teased, smirking when (name) smacked his arm, but not too hurt, as they stammered through their bashful words. jing yuan took their hand in his, bringing it up to his lip to press little sweet kisses on their knuckles. such a gesture made the foxian’s heart spread warmth all over their chest and beat rapidly. their timid gaze looked away, letting the general continue to hold their hand. 

those judgmental bystanders never met his partner to make such unnecessary, impudent comments about his (name). they were a flustered fox, but also caring and understanding (to some degree). jing yuan would defend the foxian until his last breath, but he knew that (name) never cared for anyone’s opinions on them. except for their boyfriend’s. and the only cheeky comments jing yuan would make always tend to be playful and endearing for his dearest, never meaning any ill-mannered in his words or tone. “i’ve heard that short auntie has a new recipe. should we try it out?” the foxian nodded, giving the dozing general a little dazzling smile. “then let’s dine at the delicacy pavilion.” jing yuan chimed, leaving them back to the seat of divine foresight, wanting to sleep in a bit before their evening date. their hands intertwined, swinging gently as they walked side by side and chatted along the way. Well, jing yuan mostly listens to his fox, admiring the features he came to love deeply. 

[ginnsbaker]

All Of Your Pieces (14 - The Twins)

Chapter Summary: Stark's Annual Charity Ball pulls the invisible string that finally nudges you and Wanda in the right direction.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader Chapter word count: 6.2k+ | Chapter Tags: Age of Ultron!Wanda, Mild angst, comfort, fluff

A/N: I haven't written anything new in more than 2 weeks, but I'll just keep posting the chapters I've finished *cries* Anyway, this particular update is a milestone in R and Wanda's relationship, and it involves an auction. Kinda obvious where that will lead us to, yea? Enjoy! // More author's notes here.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

“I can't believe you're letting Tony pimp me out to some geriatric billionaire—” you stormed into Steve's office, tracking mud across the carpet.

It was pouring outside, and as soon as you arrived at the compound, Vision greeted you with a curious question. “What's a human auction? Is it like those slave sales back in the 1500s?” he had asked. You had brushed him off, heading straight for the one person you knew had to have given the final approval on this sort of thing.

“Whoa, hold on a second,” Steve cut in, his eyes going wide as he dropped his pen. He braced himself, clearly prepared for whatever wild accusation you were about to hurl his way. “No one is going to be ‘pimped out’ at Stark's Annual Charity Ball!”

Natasha, sprawled in a leather chair by the window, ankle cocked over knee, quirked an eyebrow at your entrance, a smirk tugging at her lips. “Someone’s fired up today,” she commented dryly.

You paced, the wooden floor creaking underfoot, fingers threading through your hair. “Then what do you call auctioning me off like some kind of prize to the highest bidder?” you demanded.

He leaned back, the chair groaning under his weight. “It’s not like that. You know it’s one of the biggest fundraising events of the year. We make an appearance every time to show our support.”

“Yes, make an appearance,” you jabbed the air with your finger. “Smile for the cameras, shake a few hands—that I can handle. But being part of an auction? That's crossing a line.”

Natasha shook her head, clearly amused by your distress. “You know, the bidders aren't all bad. Sure, some of them might be older, but age brings experience. You might end up meeting an attractive, mature woman. Isn't that your dream?”

You shot her a skeptical look. “Very funny, Nat.”

“Lighten up, darling.”

You squinted at her. “Are you one of the prizes to bid on?”

“Nope,” she replied without elaboration, her face giving away nothing.

Turning back to Steve, you threw your hands up in exasperation. “You said everybody was involved!”

He squirmed, eyes darting away. “Well, not everyone.”

“Great,” you muttered sarcastically. “So who’s actually on the block?”

Steve started counting off on his fingers. “There's me. Vision agreed to participate—some tech leaders are eager to meet him. Sam volunteered; he's offering a personalized flight experience. Bruce is giving a private lecture on gamma radiation. Even Don from accounting signed up.”

“Don from accounting?” you echoed incredulously. “The guy who brings tuna sandwiches for lunch every day?”

“He's offering financial planning sessions,” Natasha said. “Riveting stuff.”

It seemed everyone had a well-thought-out plan tailored to their expertise—everyone, that is, except you.

“So, what are you guys expecting me to offer?” you asked, already dreading the answer.

Steve swapped a look with Natasha, then cleared his throat. “Tony was thinking you could throw in something exclusive—like a dinner, maybe an entire evening out, for the highest bidder.”

“A date?” you scoffed.

“Think of it less as being ‘sold’ and more as donating your irresistible presence for a noble cause,” Natasha said.

“Me?” you said, pointing to yourself with a sardonic chuckle. “Irresistible?”

Natasha smirked. “Don't sell yourself short. Some people might find your brooding charm... appealing.”

“Careful, Romanoff,” you retorted, a sly grin on your face as you sauntered over with a mischievous sway in your step. “Keep talking like that, and I might think you're flirting with me.”

She barely spared you a glance. “Not in a million years.”

“So, there's a number?” you quipped, grinning wider.

“Alright, that's enough,” Steve barked, pushing himself off his chair, trying to look like the picture of authority. “The auction lineup is final; people have already shown interest. All I'm asking is for two hours of you on your best behavior. Can you do that?”

You shrugged, already backing toward the door. “No promises,” you muttered, turning to leave.

As you rushed out of Steve's office, you collided abruptly with what felt like a solid wall—only it turned out to be someone. 

More specifically, Wanda. You caught a wisp of her red before it vanished completely, suggesting she'd instinctively used her powers to cushion her own impact. Good for her. For you? Not so much.

“Sorry, didn't see you there,” you said, rubbing a tender spot on your shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Wanda's eyes widened when she saw you, like a deer caught in headlights. She nodded too eagerly before excusing herself as if she was in a hurry. You shrugged and turned back to the direction you were heading.

It had been over a week since you'd inadvertently caused a scene at a restaurant Wanda often visited, leading you to awkwardly apologize later with takeout. After Wanda stormed out that night, you lost interest in your date and ended up cutting the evening short just as Alex was suggesting drinks. Your relationship with Wanda hadn’t really improved or worsened since then, which was probably for the best, all things considered. You had noticed, however, that Vision seemed to stick by her side even more than before. You’re happy for them. Ever since he told you that Wanda was lonely, you thought she needed someone like him—a truly devoted friend or more.

“Two hours,” you muttered to yourself as you entered your room, closing the door behind you with a soft click. “How hard can it be?”

—

It was a spectacle—exactly what you'd expect from a Stark event.

Hosted at New York's iconic Metropolitan Museum of Art, the fundraiser didn't just rival the Met Gala—it eclipsed it. The guest list was a who's who of the world's elite, pulling not only A-list celebrities from fashion and entertainment but also power brokers from technology, real estate, automotive, food, and pharmaceuticals. 

Your teammates were dispersed throughout the venue. Having arrived half an hour earlier, you hadn't spotted any of them yet, but you suspected they were probably doing the same thing you were—stalling, avoiding the spotlight until the last possible moment when they would have to step forward and be seen. You found yourself lingering near the entrance, fidgeting with the straps of your elegant black dress. It was a daring choice, selected by a fashion guru Tony had brought in specifically for this event. You had resisted this outfit until the final moment, relenting only when Tony threatened to schedule you for more public appearances—gigs he usually delegated to Rhodes or Sam on ordinary days.

“Looking sharp,” Clint remarked, coming up beside you. He was adjusting his bow tie, a slight grin on his face as he took in your outfit.

Finally—someone to stick with for the rest of the evening.

“Flattery won't get you out of babysitting duty tonight,” you teased, trying to ignore the anxious butterflies in your stomach.

He chuckled, his eyes scanning the patrons. “Wouldn't dream of it. Besides, someone has to keep an eye on you.”

“Uh-huh,” you replied, scanning the room yourself. 

You tried to distract yourself by diving into shop talk with Clint, who indulged you but seemed more focused on his martini, sipping and nodding with the occasional terse response. It was fine by you; at least it was a way to pass the time until the event wrapped up. 

Soon, Natasha joined you, wearing a glittery gold dress that was both classy and seductive, covering most but highlighting just enough. You made an effort not to stare too much at your mentor. Back in your rookie year with the team, you'd harbored a bit of a crush on her, but that had faded as she took a more active role in your training. Over time, you came to see her as a sister, finding in her and Clint the semblance of the family you never had.

She complimented Clint on his suit before turning to you. “Enjoying yourself?”

“Trying to,” you replied truthfully.

“Here,” Natasha said, offering you her glass of champagne. “Two more of these and you’ll be fine.”

You accepted the glass, taking a tentative sip. It did little to settle your nerves, but you appreciated the gesture. “Thanks.”

“Look who decided to grace us with their presence,” Clint announced, nodding toward the entrance.

Vision had just arrived, dressed to impress. He resembled a polished gentleman, a look so fitting it was almost comical—like he belonged in a museum exhibit. You stifled a laugh at the thought, chiding yourself for even entertaining such a cheeky idea. Notably absent was Wanda, who you had expected to see at his side. 

“Vision actually looks... dapper,” you observed.

Behind Vision, Sam and Rhodey entered, each with a stunning woman on their arm. Sam's date wore a sleek silver gown that shimmered under the lights, while Rhodey's companion was radiant in royal blue. 

“Where's Bruce?” Natasha asked, glancing around the room. “He was supposed to be here by now.”

Clint emptied his glass of drink just in time for the waiter to arrive with a new one. “Haven't seen him. Steve's getting nervous he's a no-show.”

You frowned. “Wait, we can do that? Just... not show up?”

“If you're the Hulk, yeah, probably.”

“And Tony?” you asked.

“You know he doesn’t attend his own parties these days,” Clint said.

“Anyone seen Wanda?” Natasha asked suddenly.

For a moment, you'd forgotten about her. You hadn't heard anything about her participating in the auction, and you didn't want to ask why. She was still relatively new to the team, and the events of Sokovia were still fresh in everyone's minds. Maybe Tony didn’t want to stir the pot by introducing the newest member so soon.

“Haven’t seen her,” Clint replied. “Maybe she's skipping it.”

“Or maybe she's just running late,” Natasha suggested.

You shrugged, trying to appear indifferent. “Either way.”

Just then, the grand hall’s light dimmed, and the spotlight found its way to the center of the stage where Steve stood, clad in a classic tuxedo, his hair slicked back, the blue of his eyes catching the light and gleaming under the gaze of hundreds who adored him.

“Good evening, everyone,” he started, racking up cheers from the crowd, mostly from the women up front. “On behalf of the Avengers and Stark Industries, thank you for joining us tonight. Your generosity makes a profound difference.”

For a guy who was frozen for half a century, he sure had a knack for working a room and blending into this new era. You shifted your weight, trying to quell the restless energy inside you. Who would make a bid for you? Or worse, what if no one did? Each thought was as mortifying as the other. You reached for your third glass of champagne, trying to drown the embarrassment that had started with Natasha's first toast.

Steve went on, “We're starting tonight's auction with some exclusive items straight from Tony's personal garage—a collection of rare prototypes and unique gadgets.”

The first item was wheeled out—a sleek, custom-built motorcycle with cutting-edge tech enhancements. The crowd murmured appreciatively. Bidding was enthusiastic, and the motorcycle sold for an impressive sum. Next came a high-tech smartwatch with capabilities far beyond anything on the market, followed by a limited-edition arc reactor, encased in glass as a piece of art.

As the last of Tony's treasures was auctioned off, Steve returned to the microphone. “And now, we have something very special. For the first time tonight, we're offering you the opportunity to spend time with two of our own heroes.”

The cheer was resounding. You wanted to throw up at the sound of it.

“First up,” Steve announced, “we have Vision.”

A spotlight found Vision as he made his way to the stage. He nodded politely to the audience and they cheered even louder. 

“The winning bidder will enjoy a personalized afternoon with Vision,” Steve continued. “A chance to discuss philosophy, technology, or any subject of your choosing.”

The bidding began immediately.

“Fifty thousand,” someone called out.

“Seventy-five,” another voice said.

“One hundred thousand!” 

A collective gasp filled the ballroom. From there, the bids shot up even more quickly.

“One hundred fifty thousand!”

“Two hundred thousand!”

“Two hundred fifty thousand!” a woman declared from the back, her paddle held high.

It was the highest bid of the night so far.

“Going once, going twice... sold to bidder number 112 for two hundred fifty thousand dollars!” Steve announced, leading a round of applause.

Vision gave a gracious nod before exiting the stage.

You took a deep breath, realizing your turn was next. And there was no way you could go higher than Vision.

“And now,” Steve continued, “we have another incredible opportunity. An exclusive experience with one of our most skilled team members, Y/N.”

The spotlight swung in your direction. With a gentle nudge from Clint, you made your way to the stage, your heart pounding. Standing beside Steve, you tried to focus on the faces in the crowd, but the bright lights made it difficult.

You were expecting Steve to mention what you had to offer, but you were pleasantly surprised that he went right ahead to the bidding.

“Do I hear twenty thousand?” the auctioneer prompted.

An initial silence stretched on longer than you'd hoped.

“Twenty thousand,” a woman called out softly.

“Thirty thousand,” added a man seated toward the middle.

The bidding was slow compared to Vision's, and you felt a flush rise to your cheeks. You wanted to kill Steve and Tony after this. You swore to yourself you would.

“Forty thousand,” the woman countered.

“Forty-five,” came another bid.

Just as you began to resign yourself to a modest outcome, a new bidder declared his interest.

“Sixty thousand,” declared a man standing near the side of the room.

You squinted, trying to make out his features. He was well-dressed, with dark hair and a pleasant disposition. Something about him seemed familiar, but you couldn't quite place where you'd seen him before.

“Seventy thousand,” the previous bidder upped the ante.

“Eighty thousand,” the newcomer responded.

The crowd began to take more interest.

“Do I hear ninety?” the auctioneer asked. 

Your face was hurting from smiling the entire time, and you could feel sweat starting to roll down from the base of your exposed neck.

“Ninety thousand,” called out the woman from before.

The bids climbed steadily until the man finally offered a hundred-twenty.

Everybody held their breaths, waiting to see if this bid would top Vision’s, despite the auction's sluggish beginning.

“Going once, going twice... sold to bidder number 214 for one hundred twenty thousand dollars!” 

The applause swelled around you as you stood there. You weren't hung up on how well you performed; you were just relieved it was finally over.

“Congratulations,” Steve said, pulling you into a hug. You kept your smile in place, leaned in close, and whispered, “This isn't over.”

The man who had won the bid was being escorted by one of the event staff to meet you.

As you approached him, recognition clicked into place. His name was Daniel—a member of the support staff at the Avengers compound. You'd seen him around, handling logistics and occasionally assisting with training setups.

He had that much amount of money to spend on you? 

“Daniel?” you said, extending a hand. “I didn't expect to see you here.”

He shook your hand with a friendly smile. “Good to see you, Y/N. Actually, I'm here on behalf of someone else."

Before you could ask, he gestured toward a quiet hallway. “The person who actually bid on you and won is waiting for you down that hall.”

You entered a quaint gallery displaying an array of quirky artifacts that seemed centuries old—though your limited attention in history classes made it impossible to pinpoint their exact origins or era. What made you stop and stare was how it was peaceful and kind of personal, with no crowds to elbow through. You could see why some folks find it therapeutic to hang out in museums and galleries like this.

Standing near a large window was a figure. That unmistakable posture was all too familiar.

“Wanda?” you called out, startled.

She turned to face you, and her nervousness was impossible to miss. It clashed with how stunning she looked in her gown—a deep red that draped perfectly, with a daring neckline that plunged but somehow still looked elegant. The sleeves fluttered around her arms, and her brunette hair cascaded in wild waves, shortened by the curls to just past her shoulders. She was breathtaking.

Looking between Wanda and the closed door, you tried to piece it together. “So... you hired Daniel to bid for you?”

Wanda nodded. “I didn't want to draw attention by bidding myself. I hope that's okay.”

Warmth spread through you. Why would Wanda bid such a substantial amount of money for time with you, especially when you saw each other every day? It was odd, a little unsettling, but at least you weren’t paired with a complete stranger whose intentions might be unclear.  

Though… what were Wanda’s intentions?

“Are you okay?” Wanda asked softly, her eyes searching yours. It hit you then—you hadn’t said a word in a while.

“Oh, sorry,” you mumbled, snapping out of your thoughts. “I’m just… surprised.”

Wanda took a few steps, not toward you, but toward the exit. “I didn't mean to—I just... If this makes you uncomfortable, we can just forget the whole thing.”

You could have simply taken her up on the offer, paid her back, and moved on. But instead, something compelled you to reach out and grasp her arm before she could leave. Wanda glanced over her shoulder, her expression a mix of wariness and curiosity.

You searched for the right words, your heart pounding. Then, a small smile formed on your lips as you shrugged lightly. “Do you want to get out of here?”

—

For a hundred and twenty thousand dollars, Wanda Maximoff didn’t just secure a free hotdog sandwich—she also claimed what might be the best view in the city. Better than the one from the Empire State Building, even—an exaggeration, perhaps, but isn’t any view more breathtaking when shared with the right person?

It was hardly the deal of a lifetime, but there you were, actually trying to make it worth her while.

Sitting together on a quiet rooftop terrace, the city's lights stretched out before you like a shimmering sea. You took a bite of your hotdog, moaning at the comfort of a simple snack.

Wanda glanced over at you, a soft smile playing on her lips. “This is nice,” she said.

You swallowed your bite and turned to face her. "Can I ask you something?"

“Of course.”

“Why did you bid on me?” you asked. “I mean, you could've bid on Vision.”

Wanda looked fairly confused. “Why would I bid on Vision?”

You shrugged, biting your tongue to keep yourself from insinuating to Wanda that he’s her boyfriend. Well, wasn’t he?

Wanda laughed softly, causing a smile to form on your own lips. 

“Vision is always there,” she began thoughtfully. “Even when I don't ask for him, he shows up. Some days, it felt like there was too much of him.”

That was… unexpected. “I thought you two were close,” you said.

“We are, in a sense,” she said. “He's got a good heart, smart, well-meaning. But there are times I just need to be left alone. With Vision, it's as if he's always trying to figure me out, not just exist alongside me.”

You took a slow bite, chewing over her words. “Well, Vision does seem like an honorable person. I think he really cares about you.”

She smiled faintly. “I know he does. And I care about him too. But it's complicated.”

“Complicated how?”

Wanda sighed, taking a moment to gather her thoughts. You gave her space, watching silently until she turned to face you. When she did, you were struck by her eyes—a vivid green that outshone the moon itself.

“He's still figuring out what it means to be... human,” she explained. “Emotions, relationships—they're concepts he's learning, and sometimes I feel like a subject in an experiment.”

“I'm sorry you feel that way,” you whispered. Believing Vision would simply cure Wanda's loneliness was naive. You regretted the times you thought it was so simple, pushing her towards someone else just to keep her at arm's length. Now, sitting side by side on the terrace of your apartment—a detail you hadn't mentioned to Wanda—you realized her company wasn't so bad. Removed from the context of her powers and past faults, she seemed almost ordinary. And it didn't hurt that she was undeniably beautiful—a fact that admittedly played a part in why you had kept your distance. Her appearance made it too easy to become distracted.

“I could do a lot worse,” Wanda said lightly.

“Yeah,” you replied, before pointing to yourself. “You’re looking at her.”

Her laughter erupted, full and unrestrained. You realized you enjoyed hearing it—and even more, being the reason for it.

After a moment, you took a deep breath. “You know, you didn’t have to bid on me just to hang out. I’m sorry if it seemed like I was cold to you. It's just, initially, we were on opposite sides, and I'm kind of a loner by nature.”

“I didn’t bid on you for the company,” she said. “I heard you were upset about being auctioned off. I thought I’d help out.”

“Oh,” you managed, heat creeping into your cheeks in surprise and a bit of shame. “You really didn’t have to do that. Honestly, you could be anywhere else, doing something better with your time.”

She gave a light shrug, dismissing the thought. “I wanted to be here. And you're under no obligation—it’s your time.”

“That was a lot of money, Wanda.”

She flashed a small, knowing smile. “We get paid pretty well, and we live rent-free in a state-of-the-art facility with more food than we know what to do with. Honestly, I don’t know where to put all that money.”

You couldn't help but whistle at her extravagant dilemma about where to spend her money.

“Some of mine went here,” you mentioned, beginning to tidy up. You picked up Wanda’s hotdog box, then yours, and slipped them back into the paper bag they came in.

“Here?”

“This is, uh, my apartment in the city,” you admitted, feeling a bit sheepish about the modest surroundings. It wasn't much to look at—barely furnished since you hardly spent a night here. But it was nice to have a fallback, a place where you could imagine being just another average citizen, cooking dinner and passing out on the sofa to late-night TV. Not that you've actually done that here, but, you know, the possibility's always there.

“Oh,” Wanda breathed, her eyes going wide—and you hadn’t thought it was possible for them to be more disarming than they already were. “I—I didn’t realize. Sorry for intruding—”

“I invited you,” you pointed out, your grin turning amused at her reaction. It was nice to see her a little off-balance. Her gaze met yours, and there was something in her eyes that made you a bit nervous. Usually, you weren't easily thrown off by pretty women, but Wanda was different. She wasn't like anyone you'd ever met.

“It's getting a bit chilly,” she noted after a while, rubbing her arms lightly.

“Would you like to come inside?” you offered. “I can lend you something warmer.”

It didn’t take Wanda another second to accept. “Yes, please.”

“Come on,” you said, leading her to your bedroom. Opening a drawer, you pulled out a pair of soft pajama pants and a cozy sweater. “These should fit well enough. The bathroom is just through that door.”

“Thanks,” she murmured, taking the clothes. She headed into the bathroom, leaving the door slightly ajar.

You grabbed a t-shirt and some comfortable boxers for yourself, beginning to change in your bedroom. As you pulled your shirt over your head, your eyes accidentally darted towards the bathroom. Through the partially open door, you inadvertently glimpsed Wanda from behind as she changed. Her back was turned, revealing a black lace bra as she slipped out of her dress.

You swallowed hard and quickly turned your eyes away, focusing on getting dressed as quickly as you could. You yanked your shirt down and shimmied into your shorts, trying to shake the image from your mind.

Moments later, Wanda stepped out dressed in your clothes, the sleeves of the sweater hanging slightly past her wrists. The outfit was a bit oversized but looked comfortable on her.

“These are perfect,” she said with a grateful smile. Noticing your flustered expression, she tilted her head. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, fine,” you stammered.

She gave you a curious look but didn't press the matter. Glancing at your attire, she commented, “Won't you be cold dressed like that?”

You looked down at yourself. “Oh, I'll be fine. I tend to get hot,” you replied, then realized the double meaning of your words. Your face grew warmer. “I mean, I warm up easily.”

Wanda smirked and didn’t bother to be subtle about it. “Good to know.”

You grabbed a pillow from your bed and tucked it under your arm. “Well, I guess I'll let you get some rest,” you said, heading toward the door.

“Wait,” Wanda called after you. “You're not sleeping on the sofa, are you?”

You looked up, surprised. “I was actually planning to catch up on some reading.”

She sighed, giving in. “Fine, if you're sure.”

“I'm sure,” you said, fluffing the pillow.

She smiled softly. “Goodnight, then.”

“Night, Wanda,” you replied. After a moment's pause, you added, “And... thanks again for tonight.”

She lingered in the doorway of the bedroom and nodded at you with a smile.

Before she could slip away, you called out, “Hey, wanna train together tomorrow?”

Her face lit up. “Looking forward to it.”

—

It wasn’t that your bed was uncomfortable. Far from it, actually. The mattress was firm but not too firm, the pillows soft enough to cradle her head. By all accounts, Wanda should’ve been fast asleep. But she wasn’t. Everything about the bed—about the room—was a distraction.

She couldn’t stop thinking about how the sheets had probably wrapped around your skin countless times, how your scent lingered faintly in the fabric no matter how often they’d been washed. She wondered what position you usually slept in. Did you curl up on your side, clutching a pillow? Did you sprawl across the bed, limbs outstretched in different directions? The thoughts were small, trivial, and maddeningly persistent.

No matter how many times she turned over, pulled the blanket tighter, or closed her eyes, her mind wouldn’t shut off. So, when she tossed and turned for what felt like the hundredth time, Wanda decided she wasn’t going to just lie there, restless and alone, while you were only a few feet away.

Wanda eased the door open, careful to make as little noise as possible, though the faint creak still gave her away. You were there, of course, exactly where she thought you’d be, sitting on the sofa with a book in your lap. The soft glow of the lamp illuminated your face, and Wanda’s breath hitched when she noticed the glasses perched on your nose.

“Hey,” you greeted softly, glancing up from the page but keeping your finger tucked between the chapters as a placeholder.

There was something about you at this hour, something Wanda couldn’t quite put her finger on. It wasn’t just the glasses or the book or the way the light softened the sharp lines of your face. You seemed different. More laid-back. Almost mellow. Wanda decided this was one of her favorite versions of you.

“Can’t sleep,” she murmured, fiddling with the rings on her fingers—a nervous habit she couldn’t quite kick. 

Wanda bit her lip as you slid your glasses off and set them on the side table. It was endearing to think it was because you were giving her your full attention. You tapped the cushion next to you.

She obliged. The sofa dipped slightly under her weight, and she sat close enough for your shoulders to almost touch but left just enough distance to not assume too much. Wanda’s fingers stopped fidgeting, her hands resting in her lap as she glanced at the book you’d set aside.

“What were you reading?” she asked.

You smiled slightly, reaching for the book and turning it so she could see the cover. It wasn’t anything grand—just a worn paperback with creased pages and a faded title. That’s when Wanda’s gaze wandered to the shelves behind you, packed tight with books, some even spilling over into piles on the floor. Hardcovers, paperbacks, thick, ancient volumes that looked like they belonged in a library—

You weren’t just an ordinary reader.

“Didn’t take you for a… what’s that phrase you Americans use for someone who’s obsessed with reading?” Wanda asked, a light laugh escaping her lips.

“Bookworm,” you replied, grinning.

“Yeah—that.”

You chuckled softly, the sound low and warm. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Maximoff.”

The way you said her name sent a small shiver down her spine, but she hid it well, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she looked away for a moment. You weren’t sure if it was because it was late and your defenses were worn thin, or because the edges of exhaustion blurred your better judgment after spending the entire night nose-deep in your book. But something compelled you to speak to her.

Not small talk. Not another shallow exchange to fill the silence. No, you wanted to talk to her, really talk to her. About things that mattered, like how she was actually doing—not just the perfunctory “I’m fine” you’d heard her mutter too many times before. About how she was settling in at the compound, surrounded by strangers who were supposed to be her teammates but often felt like little more than colleagues. About what it felt like to start over in a new country, surrounded by a language and culture that weren’t hers. 

About how she was coping without Pietro.

You wondered if anyone had asked her these things before—apart from Vision, maybe. And even then, you could imagine what those conversations might have been like. Vision was earnest, but earnestness only went so far. He probably asked like a child would, curious but detached.

“So, uhm,” you cleared your throat, pulling up your knees to hug them in front of your chest. “How—How have you been holding up?”

It took her a moment to respond, and for a second, you wondered if you’d overstepped, if she didn’t like being asked in the first place. But instead, she tilted her head slightly, studying you like she wasn’t sure if you were serious.

“Why do you ask?” she said finally, her accent curling softly around the words.

You hesitated, suddenly hyper-aware of how vulnerable the question made you feel. You weren’t used to this—to reaching out, to asking someone else to open up. But it was too late to backtrack now, so you shrugged, feigning casualness you didn’t feel. “Just thought… it’s been a lot. For you, I mean. New country, new team, new life.” You paused, glancing away. “It can’t be easy.”

Wanda let out a small, humorless laugh. “That’s putting it lightly.”

You didn’t reply immediately, giving her the opportunity to say more if she wanted to. When the silence stretched on, you pressed gently. “So? How are you holding up?”

She exhaled, a long, tired sound. “I’m... fine,” she said.

“That’s not an answer,” you said. “And you don’t have to give me one if you don’t want to. I just thought... maybe you’d want to talk.”

Wanda looked at you again as if trying to gauge whether you meant it. Whether you really meant that you cared. 

“You’re asking me this now?” she said.

“Seemed like as good a time as any.”

Her lips twitched—almost a smile, but not quite—and she looked away again. “I don’t think anyone’s really asked me that,” she whispered after a moment. “Not like you just did.”

You didn’t know what to say to that, so you stayed quiet, letting her continue.

“It’s... hard,” she said, slow and careful. “Being here. With all of you. Everyone’s been... kind. But I can tell most of them don’t trust me.”

“They’ll come around,” you said, though you knew it wasn’t a guarantee. You knew better than anyone how slow trust could be, how much it took to earn it in a place like this. After all, it had taken you ages to come around yourself—ages of Wanda wearing you down in ways you hadn’t even noticed at first, of her saving your life and an embarrassing predicament.

“Maybe,” she said, her voice distant. She twisted the hem of her sweater between her fingers, her eyes focused on the floor.

“And Pietro?” you asked softly, almost afraid of the question.

“I think about him every day,” she said quietly. “About what he’d say if he were here. What he’d do. Sometimes, I swear I can still hear him in my head—his voice, the things he used to tell me. But then I catch myself trying to shush it, like I’m afraid I’ll get stuck there. In that space. I know it sounds crazy—”

“It’s not,” you cut in too quickly, but you meant them. Whatever grief looked like for her, it wasn’t something you had the right to call crazy.

She turned to you then, a small, rueful smile that felt like hope when her eyes couldn’t pretend she was grieving hard. It was the kind of smile that said she appreciated your words, even though you both knew they weren’t entirely true. You weren’t sure if she believed you or if she just wanted to believe you, but either way, she nodded.

“Thank you.”

“Sometimes,” she continued after a long pause, “I wonder if it would’ve been easier to go with him.”

You swallowed, the ache in her voice pulling something loose in you. You didn’t want to say anything, didn’t want to make it about you—but that feeling hit too close to home.

“I used to think that way, too,” you said quietly.

Wanda turned to look at you, surprised. She didn’t interrupt, though. She waited.

You rubbed a hand over your face, buying yourself a second to organize the thoughts you’d buried for so long. “I’m not saying it to compare,” you added, voice tight. “I just... I know what it’s like.”

“My dad died when I was a kid,” you said, keeping your voice light, like saying it matter-of-factly would dull the edges of it. “I barely remember him. Just flashes—his laugh, his cologne, stuff like that. But my mom... she hated me long before he was gone. She blamed me for everything. Especially for my twin not making it.”

Wanda stiffened beside you, but still, she said nothing.

“She blamed me,” you continued, the memories clawing their way back to the surface. “Said I killed him before he ever had a chance. And she never let me forget it. Never let me forget that it should’ve been me who didn’t make it.”

Wanda finally looked up, her eyes glistening, red-rimmed with tears she refused to let fall. You didn’t have the same strength. A single tear slipped down your cheek, hot and heavy.

“And for the longest time, I believed her. I thought she was right. I thought it would’ve been better if I hadn’t made it,” you said.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

You shook your head. “Don’t be. And it’s not like… it’s not like I think that way all the time anymore. But I get it. That feeling like maybe you weren’t supposed to be here, like someone else deserved it more. I know what it feels like.”

Wanda's gaze dropped to your hands that were still gripping your knee like a lifeline. She looked like she wanted to reach out and grasp them, but you weren’t ready for that kind of intimacy. You were barely keeping yourself together, and the thought of her touch, however comforting, might be the thing to break you.

“I didn’t know,” she said softly. “About your twin. About your mom. If this... if this was the nightmare I gave you in—”

“No reason you would,” you interrupted, cutting her off before she could finish, before she could drag Johannesburg, and the bitter, consuming hatred you’d felt for her then, into the room. You’ve forgiven her for that, and it was best that it stayed forgotten too. “It’s not exactly a conversation starter.”

She huffed a quiet, almost bitter laugh, but it faded quickly. “Still,” she said, hesitating, “I think… I think you were meant to be here. I don’t know why, but I do. I think there’s a reason.”

You swallowed dryly. “Maybe there’s a reason for you, too.”

Wanda looked hopeful. “Maybe,” she echoed.

Wanda’s shoulder pressed into yours, solid and warm, like she was holding you in place without even realizing it. Neither of you spoke, the silence stretching out just long enough for it to feel safe. Safe to sit here with the mess between you, around you, part of you.

The words she’d said—I think you were meant to be here—kept looping in your head, circling around all the things you’d told yourself for years. All the things you still believed. Maybe you didn’t deserve to be here, but in that moment, you weren’t sure it mattered.

Because she was here. And maybe that was enough.