#But anyways I'm yapping too much

[cosmicraelum]

I rewatched perfect blue recently

[licorishh]

no way she's alive ?? yea those mental health breaks because social media makes people suck are wild huh

[kakyogay]

more shadow because the silly

[^context for that^] been reading a whole lotta post-movie fics and making up my own in my head. The regulator rings (if that's what they are idk I'm new to all this) are wrecked and chaos energy is just pouring outa the fella, making wounds worse and ruining any progress his accelerated healing could do (BECAUSE ANGST YOU FOOL).

oh and also a wee bit of a doodle for the fic I'll Be There With Lavenders by XenoCG because twas very cute and saw the outfit collage they posted (I already tagged them on insta I don't want to bother them again ouuuuhgh)

[javierduffy]

but when they're out on that river bank alone, what javier should be loyal to doesn't feel as confusing anymore

[zolo-san]

Who wants to read my ramblings about a University AU idea that has started to consume my every waking thought? (It's primarily a Lawlu fic idea~)

My brain has really gotta stop doing this I've got two half written Lawlu fics just chillin in my notebook but then two days ago I had a fleeting thought that triggered my brain to start cooking up a University AU out of nowhere (I don't even normally write AUs so idk what is even happening)

So I started writing down some planning and ideas that, as per usually, devolved into some full fledged scenes and dialogue and it straight up feels like I'm being possessed by this stupid fucking AU and I'm going insane It's literally writing itself....I have no control any more (send help)

My planning doc is already over 3,500 words and I've only been typing shit up during my odd free moments at work It's literally like I'm witnessing a movie in my head and struggling to write it all down

So yeah that's a thing.......I still have at least one Zosan fic I really want to write for the Zosan Community Collab (ya know the one I'm hosting lol) but my brother in christ this au has a fucking choke hold on me

In case anyone cares to know: The basics of the AU right now is that Law is currently in his first year of residency and goes to the campus library often to study and that's where he sees Luffy, whose a bio major with a field research internship studying beetles. Law sees Luffy there all the time and sort of developed a crush on him, but he never actually talks to him. At some point shenanigans issue on campus that force the two of them to interact and they both take to each other very quickly (perhaps because Luffy also had a low-key crush on the attractive mysterious doctor whose always at the library 😏)

I could go on about all the Straw Hats and their areas of study, everyone's living arrangements, everyone's relationship dynamics, I also have info about Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin’s studies (Tho if anyone actually reads this and has any input on what majors they think Shachi and Penguin would have settled on, pls let me know because I have a note that they have no clue what they want to do and have switched majors at least three times, but I haven't decided what they'd settle on lol) I literally even have a floor plan for the dorm that Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, and Usopp share as well as Law's place (which is on campus despite it being usual for medical residents to stay on campus, he just prefers being close to the library because he's a fucking nerd)

Gods...someone save me from this fucking au....I'm going crazy..........anyways...I'm going to go back to more planning now (help >.<)

[nekrosmos]

I miss having more time to draw and interact here and talk to everyone :(

[julietasgf]

I couldn't summarize sejanus better than the screenshot of this post

[momentomori24]

For a character that has virtually said nothing (impressive feat considering Mark Berskii exists) and has been dead since the start, Cara is so SO intriguing to me. Her complete lack of humanity in the midst of a cast brimming with it stands out in such a fucked up way.

Take her appearance, for example. Outside of the fact that she's much paler than the group, her having redish hair feels so intentional. It physically ties her to two characters: Diana and Wolfgang's mum. By extension, that ties her to Wolfgang and Eva as well. I don't believe that she's directly tied to them, or anyone in our group really (which I think is the point). However, the links that can be tied-- that we as the audience are encouraged to tie-- still exist.

We are introduced to her as a murder victim, a girl who was brutally ambushed and stabbed to death by who is assumed to be a man. That serves as a parallel by what is implied to have happened to Wolfgang's mum; a woman who was murdered by her husband. Coupled with their vague resemblance, it explains why Wolfgang was so emotional during the trial. He's a lawyer, and it's both his job and moral code to have empathy for everyone, but it seems obvious that there was a lot of projection on his part related to this specific case. He doesn't just see a person, he sees a blameless woman, an innocent girl undeserving of her fate. A victim who had to have been sadistically murdered by a man, and "self-defence" was never on the table. He clearly cared about the case-- he cared THE MOST about the case. He was the only one to actually acknowledge that it's based on a real murder case, that the victim was a real person, and treat it with that same amount of appropriate care. But that care is rooted in his strong sense of justice for victims as a lawyer, in his own issues and warped view on gender due to his parents-- it's not entirely for her because he never actually KNEW her.

And we see her again in the execution. Quite literally like a puppet on strings, she mechanically reaches out towards Eva and offers her a hand. In my eyes, this is 100% a parallel to Diana. There's the obvious of a vaguely red haired girl being the only one to offer her support during her lowest moments, but the way Cara reaches to pull Eva up only for her to fall to her death is comparable to the way Diana reaches to pull Wolfgang up only for him to still get electrocuted to death. Here she is again, playing a different role, open to the interpretation of others. Here she is, twisting the knife about Eva's feelings about Diana. She looms over her, standing tall where Eva was at her lowest in every sense of the word. She's a girl offering help, but not out of the goodness of her heart, and the strings puppeteering her every movement emphasise that reality. Where Eva had rejected her advances before, in her desperation she actually reaches back for her, and the act of allowing herself to trust that kindness is what has her plummeting to her doom the way she was always of, the arm giving and tearing at the farce of it all.

Take her talent, for example. She's the Ultimate Teacher's Aide. By her very nature, she exists for the service of others. Uplifting others rather than uplifting herself. She's the Ultimate Teacher's Aide, and she fulfils that role by being Tozu's literal puppet in the killing game, her servitude entirely at his disposal and her autonomy nonexistant.

Take her motif, for example. She's the only character without an animal motif. Her motif, ironically enough, is a human. Two humans, in fact. And I think that's significant cuz we never actually learn anything about Cara herself when she appears. Her existence is always symbolically tied to someone else on appearance alone (Wolfgang's mum or Diana). Her motif is a human because it's the closest thing to what she looks like, but just like the Tree of Ignorance being a hollow imitation of the Tree of Wisdom, she's anything but. What do we know about her, really? What was she like? Was she a cheerful soul or a gloomy one? Was she aggressive or pacifistic? Was she someone who had confidence or none at all? Was she a perfect victim or a failed yet complicit perpetrator? The sad thing about that question is that it really doesn't matter. Her murder case is only proof of her existence that exists; history has taken this girl and reduced her to nothing else and it doesn't matter. In a group of individuals she's exists solely as a blank slate, a passive party, an entity they can project on. She's a girl. She's a victim. She's a doll. She's a reason. But make no mistake-- she was never meant to be a person.

(Cerise's made a great art piece on this idea go check it out!)

[cassiskurocorner]

Try not to make Sebastian have heated eye contact with another man challenge (Impossible edition)

[vesna-v-irkutske]

How do you imagine Nikita as a boyfriend? (Even if you doubt he would have a girlfriend, dang if he just knew how many girls like him now😭)

I need to add "headcanon tcc" to all my other achievements, lol.

I feel like it'd be like with his friendships, but with more awkwardness, at least at first. He'd never have taken the initiative, everything would have to be done by another person. I don't think he'd have even genuinely hoped for anything, he considered himself crap and worthless. And it'd feel a little strange for him that someone is really kind to him and wants to spend time with him (and possibly in a ROMANTIC way!), and doesn't mock him or use him. He'd be equally happy and anxious. Perhaps he'd have lost sleep over it, thinking about everything, it could be summed up as "Maybe..! No..." In short, the other person would have to take the initiative in communicating with him, at least at the very beginning, make him feel comfortable, support and listen to him. He needed someone with whom he could just be his quiet self, and another person would take lead, and it'd give HIM confidence, and he'd also start doing something.

More below. 👇🏻

🤍× In the established relationship, well, I think he'd still feel awkward and nervous, it'd take time for him to stop worrying about possibly being boring and not good enough. I mean, he wouldn't be all 🥺😔🙁, he'd just feel insecure from time to time, just some self-doubt in the back of his head, especially if he felt bad mentally. 🤍× He'd probably feel kinda ashamed of himself being good-for-nothing, not conventionally attractive or rich, for being an apathetic wreck that struggles with basic things such as hygiene. 🤍× Maybe he'd feel the pressure of responsibility. Because it's so serious now! He'd feel like the other person expects him to do something, like in typical TV series and movies, and it'd stress him out. He'd constantly need to be reassured, to have some (non-verbal) confirmation that the person was having fun with him and didn't feel some kinda envy when looking at other couples. 🤍× From time to time, he'd internally struggle with "I don't want to be a loser, I'm a MAN, I have to be a leader in this relationship." Another thing to be insecure about. 🤍× But apart from that, he'd constantly try to come up with something interesting to do. But he didn't really like ACTUALLY doing things and leaving the house, he probably wouldn't be a big fan of typical dates and all that jazz, he was broke anyway (but I think it'd be possible to drag him somewhere, but he'd feel awkward and nervous at first, and he'd kinda hate it because it'd be new to him, but then he'd start having fun in the process and think, "Well, I guess it wasn't that bad"). He'd rather be at home or at another person's place, or just taking a walk with them. Or doing some stupid shit if he feels comfortable and silly enough. 🤍× He's the type of person to suggest something and look at the other person, gauging their reaction, waiting for an approving signal to continue and develop the thought. It'd make him more at ease, more confident. 🤍× One of his favorite things to do would be to browse the internet, watching videos and playing games together. I think he'd feel pretty hyped and confident when he showed what he liked, what he was interested in, anything to make himself look cool, interesting, knowledgeable in something. He desperately needed someone who shared his interests and understanded him. Maybe he would have offered to participate in the making of his new album somehow. 🤍× Overall, he'd be kinda fun and chill if he felt comfortable. And maybe a little crazy, saying and doing weird stuff, if too comfortable. 🤍× The type of person to get PAINFULLY attached. Sometimes he'd prefer to be alone, but he'd miss the person pretty quickly. He'd HATE to be physically far away and for a long period of time (and that long period would be, like... a week or less), like, he'd be VERY upset. Would feel SUPER frustrated if one of them had some stuff to do and they wouldn't be able see each other. For example, some kinda trip. 🤍× He could get upset/frustrated/mad because of something, but he wouldn't talk about it and say what it was. He probably would have said that everything was fine, but you could tell by his frown that something was wrong. You'd have to torture him to get him to tell you. 🤍× There's a possibility of him hiding behind the "Oh, I'm so tuff" persona and 100 layers of irony, sarcasm and trolling (and then lowkey forgetting who the hell he actually is) when he doesn't feel like opening up and being vulnerable. 🤍× Overall, he'd be inexperienced in right about everything and make mistakes because of it, but he wouldn't actually wanna mess it all up. He'd be pretty reliable and trustworthy. And easy to control. Don't use that against him. </3 🤍× He'd feel scared of getting hurt.

[ro-bee]

I hope I'm not a "good artist" to you guys but a little clown with several undiagnosed mental illnesses

[starcollectorsilas]

Fuck you. *disables your able-bodied and pretty much superhuman character*

[nekrosmos]

Very random but if I ever, for whatever reason, make you uncomfortable by interacting too much with you, or whatever other reason, don't hesitate to tell me. I can get very enthusiastic about stuff and I know not everyone enjoys having someone yapping in their replies 24/7 so, yeah, don't hesitate 👍

[varpusvaras]

The moment when you start to get kinda insane about your own oc's and have the need to just write about them. The Kennedy family you're so famous in my head.

[sainz100]

x

[kaisollisto]

last thing u wrote:

((based on this))

(there are no rules :3ccc)

tagged by: @daisychainsandbowties

Ava glares at the juts of Lilith’s cheekbones. She can tell from the sharp stoniness of them Lilith’s not listening to a word she’s saying. It’s this back and forth that usually ends in hours of petty silence away from each other. Ava will say no, Lilith will tower over her and insist. Lilith will grit her jaw and rip her argument to shreds and Ava will find it begrudgingly hot. 

It’s the only thing they talk about between keeping the space station afloat with life. It’s easy to get lost in the labor of doing the work of what would be fit for a team of 5 but Ava knows they cannot shake the hole that stares back. 

It’s the strange case that drew them here first, a distress signal pinging repeatedly from the bottomless pit and an old recording of 2 fuzzy figures lurking on the other end. There are records of people before them in the current station just adjacent to the pit but never any more evidence of what lies below. There is an elevator that connects to what Ava hopes is the other station but can only be accessed from inside the station they’re in. It looks well used enough to convince her it’s sturdy enough to survive at least two trips. 

Lilith steps closer, close enough to touch her and Ava isn’t ready for that. “I’m not going down there Lil, you’ve seen the reports, people who come here don’t come back and I’m starting to get why.” 

Lilith’s eyes flash with a sliver of something volatile before Ava can take it back, the mistake digs in her throat but she stands up, turning around to look at the old recording once again. The screen has a crack in it that distorts part of the footage but it's clear that there's proof that life has made it down there. It's a jumbled 6 second clip that jumps around, almost unreadable but Ava has a feeling she cannot keep running away. 

Ava can't take her eyes off the clip, replaying it frantically over and over in her mind as a feeling she doesn't want to name wells up inside her. Even if they did go down, Ava would have to go alone because of the Halo. Its faint glow would be more beneficial than risking any energy input for light. 

Lilith is burning behind her no doubt a couple sentences away from strangling her. Ava knows her fingers are twitching. That’s just who Lilith is, she looks out for Ava in an angry way. 

“Ava,” She puffs, Ava can see it in her head, Lilith loosening the lock in her jaw with a wisp of breath snaking between her teeth. She thinks if Lilith wasn’t always knocking her around she’d pick up smoking. But she supposes smoking would detract from the heated sex they always find themselves in. 

There’s a shuffle behind her but Ava is too cowardly to turn around, not quite ready for another argument or maybe something worse. Ava wonders if today’s the day where one of them crosses the line. 

“We don’t know anything, people have accidents or get lost. There's nothing more to it.” Lilith slows down her syllables sounding like a stranger, “We have an ancient artifact that enhances your physicality, there's nothing to be afraid of.” 

Ava doesn’t like it, how dejected Lilith sounds, it’s wrong. It makes her feel wild, she pushes, falling into what they know best, “Maybe for your physique,” Ava swallows heavily the words tumbling out of her mouth searing, “but I'm the crippled one here remember? The Halo gets me to what you would consider your peak physique." She can feel tears of frustrations lining her eyes and she squints angrily at the footage. She brings her knees up to her chest hoping she hadn’t bled too raw for Lilith to notice. 

She knows she hasn’t succeeded, the Halo’s always been a sore spot for both of them. It’s a coin toss, the Halo which gives her strength but is ultimately unstable. The power output is too random and unreliable. It's not sustainable for her in the long run. She is nothing if not at the mercy of a crusty old metal that decides if she can move her fingers or bench five times Lilith’s weight. 

She sulks hoping Lilith will do what they do best. It’s quiet behind her and in her embarrassed tear stricken haze she’s sure that Lilith has fled, parallel to the line that they both don’t dare to cross. 

Ava tucks her head into her arms, her shoulders peeking over her ears and she’s resigned to accepting this endless back and forth for forever. 

She’s musing the list of chores she can do to avoid Lilith when her chair is swiveled backwards to face her. Lilith’s fingers stray far from any part of Ava but she bends to her height kneeling against the cold tiled floor. From this angle her cheekbones are soft, a tangible thing that Ava can’t look at. There’s a vulnerability that clings to Lilith; it feels wrong to look at her so bare that Ava swallows. But no matter how far she’s strayed from her she always ends up at the beginning. 

Lilith watches her, before grabbing the arm of the chair stilling Ava’s squirming. Even in the hard lines of her eyebrows, (the ones that knit together at Ava’s insistence to look anywhere but her,) there’s a softness in her pupils, the deepest part of her eyes that Ava has to really look to find. 

Lilith doesn’t grab any part of her and Ava thinks her body would be less aware of it if Lilith just fucking touched her like a normal fucking person. 

“Ava,” Lilith swallows, she looks crumpled, “We cannot keep running. Eventually there will be nowhere else to go, and then what? I just watch you wither away for the rest of my life? Watch you waste away and think 'well we did the best we could'?” It squeezes out of Lilith like a dirty secret, a shame that has festered inside of her. 

It almost makes her feel wrong but Ava can feel the chair shaking, Ava can feel Lilith is shaking. Somewhere along the way Lilith has grazed her knee but Ava doesn’t register it the way it kills Lilith to confess. 

 “I need you.” 

tagging @aromarianne @tragedylure @desognthinking