#But I’d be sending so many fucking messages and putting myself at everyone else’s mercy and pity

[basalt-havic]

“Let me know if I ever reblog anything antisemitic teehee”

Okay but have you considered that you’re putting the onus on Jews to inform you instead of critically thinking about what messages you’re unintentionally sharing, and also potentially putting them in a situation where they do tell you but you override and invalidate their experience by insinuating that it isn’t valid or important

[myngxy-sue]

What Friends Are For

A friend comes to help Lucifer after his disastrous marriage seemingly breaks him.

Pairings: Sue x Lucifer Word count: 2096 Chapters: N/A Genres: Angst, hurt/comfort Warnings: Implied self-harm, alcoholism and referenced cheating

She let out a soft gasp, slowly eyeing the bedroom Lucifer once effortlessly kept in immaculate condition be in a state of disarray, a room that reeked of alcohol and heartbreak. Bottles upon bottles were scattered all over the floor, all clearly from the most elite brands. There was a photo album amongst the bottles that was soaked in wine, clothes jumbled on the sofa and a wedding ring discarded on a table.

As her eyes rested on the bed, she saw a man whose very presence struck fear into those who uttered his name reduced to nothing more than a broken person trying to shield himself from the pain by cocooning himself in a blanket.

The sight of it all gave Sue a pained feeling in her chest. Sure, she may be Lucifer’s self-proclaimed rival but that didn’t mean she was heartless towards him. Their constant bickering and opposition was nothing more than harmless fun. She never wished to see Lucifer suffer, especially not like this. 

She approached the bed slowly, making sure to watch her step and not slip on one of the bottles. If it was the Lucifer she knew, he would’ve noticed her presence by now. Hell, he would’ve noticed long before she even opened the door. But that Lucifer was gone. When he’d return, Sue wasn’t sure. 

“Luce?” Sue muttered, not really sure how to start the conversation.

“What are you doing here?” Lucifer whispered, not even bothering to turn to her.

Sue tightened her grip on her handbag. “I just wanted to check on you after… You know… What happened between you and Carmen… But if you want me to leave then I’ll just-”

“You can stay here if you want.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…”

Sue nodded, looked around awkwardly before spotting a nearby chair and bringing it over next to Lucifer’s bed.

“So…” Sue trailed as she sat down. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“What can you do for me?”

Sue shrugged. “I dunno… Just anything you want me to do, I guess…”

Lucifer shifted in his blanket, changing his position so he could face Sue. He exposed his face.  He looked like a mess. Too many strands stuck out of place, his eyes were red from all that useless weeping and the dark circles underneath somehow got even darker. His aura was stale. Then he hid again.

"There's no need to trouble yourself over me…" Lucifer said. "I'll take care of myself just fine."

"Lucifer, all you've been doing is drinking and staying locked up in your room." Sue pointed out.

"Do you expect me to do anything else?"

"Just anything but this…"

Lucifer let out a heavy sigh, probably wanting to say something but he remained silent. 

"You haven't been taking care of yourself, have you?" Sue fiddled with her fingers right after asking, knowing that it pretty much goes without saying.

"I just want to drink my sorrows away…"

Sue bit her lip before speaking again. "How about you just let it all out instead of drowning it in alcohol?"

Silence.

"You should just cry and vent your frustrations. It won't magically solve everything but it'll help you feel a little better."

"I cried enough when I kicked her out," Lucifer deadpanned.

"Are you sure?" Sue questioned quietly.

Lucifer curled himself up into the fetal position. "Why do you even care? Isn't this what you wanted? I'm at my lowest point, you should relish in it."

"I can't…" Sue admitted.

"Why not?"

"I just can't…" Sue said at first.

There was yet another moment of silence between them. Sue didn't want it to be like this but there was really nothing she could do. She'd probably say something wrong if she tried to break the moments of silence.

"I don't really hate you, Lucifer…" Sue said. "I don't think either of us do… I actually care about you a lot… I wouldn't be here if I didn't care…" She smiled weakly.

"Sue?"

"Yeah?

Yet another pause. "You won't mind holding my hand, would you?"

When he stuck his hand out from under the covers, Sue held it without hesitation. She noticed a fresh set of scars around his wrist but she didn't bring them up. Maybe another time, she thought to herself.

"You know what it's like to feel betrayed, right? Betrayed by the very two people you put most of your trust into?" Lucifer asked.

"Not really," Sue answered. "I mean, I know what betrayal feels like but it's nothing compared to how you're probably feeling."

"I can't help but feel like all of this is my fault…" 

"Why would you say that?"

When Lucifer didn't answer right away, Sue held his hand a little tighter, just as a way to tell him that she was all ears when she couldn't articulate her words.

"You were always my harshest critic. You should know what's wrong with me. But I can only do so much self-improvement with this sin of mine. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that I didn't change at all. Maybe that's why she started seeing Diavolo. He's everything I'm not, the perfect partner."

"It's not your fault this time," Sue assured him. "And even if it was, they'd still be at fault. There are just some things that can't be justified."

"And you say all of that despite knowing who I am?"

"Luce… You're not the man I used to know when I came down here…"

He peeked from under the covers.

"Back then, I didn't think my words would get to you at all. I mean, you are the Avatar of Pride and I thought your sin would make you blind to any sort of criticism, especially from a human like myself. But the moment you pulled me aside for my advice, I knew at that moment that you had what it took to be a better person."

"..."

"Diavolo and Carmen may have taken it for granted but everyone else took notice of your self-improvement. We're all proud of you, Lucifer. I don't know what your relationship with your brothers was like before the fall but it's better than what I was introduced to when I first arrived at Devildom."

Lucifer tightened his grip on Sue's hand, nearly crushing it, but he softened his grip after feeling her flinch in response. He began to shudder under the covers. Sue rested her free hand on his just so she could assure him.

"I broke my back for both of them, sometimes I put them above my own family, we made promises to each other and then they do this to me!" Lucifer finally wept. "Is loyalty something beyond their grasp? Fuck no, it isn't! They knew what they were doing to me, I'm fucking sure! Putting my trust into Carmen was one thing, but I've trusted Diavolo for thousands of years!"

"Yeah, I'm mad at them both but Diavolo disappointed me the most." 

"I wish I'd never made that promise to him! I wish I'd never met her! I shouldn't be hurting so much over them yet here I am!" He continued. 

"There's nothing wrong with feeling hurt. You've put your trust in them. They broke that trust. So, I say you can cry about it as much as you need to."

"God, I wish I could say more but I don't know what else to say… I just hate them! I hate them both!"

Sue nodded. "You can just cry about it."

And cry he did, releasing so much raw emotion that he would’ve kept to himself. Every once in a while, he had something to say. It wasn’t much but Sue listened regardless. It was usually him expressing his resentment towards Diavolo and Carmen. She just sat there, stroking his hand assuringly and taking in all the feelings he pours out. Time went by sluggishly. After a while, Lucifer stopped, finally freeing himself from his self made cocoon while still holding onto Sue.

Sue smiled at him weakly, pondering what to do or say next. “So, did you remember to drink any water?”

Lucifer shook his head quietly, looking around in disbelief. He too was shocked at what had become of his own living space. 

“I’ll bring you a glass,” Sue said as she stood up. “I’m guessing you haven’t eaten anything either.”

He shook his head again. “I didn’t feel like eating at all.”

“You should at least nibble on something, as a start.” 

Sue got him a tall glass of water and a cookie. She had to prevent the demon from drinking all the water too quickly lest he make himself sick. 

“You should wash your face too,” Sue suggested. 

“I think I’d rather try and take a quick shower.”

“Are you sure?”

Lucifer nodded. “I’m sure.”

“Do you want me to get you some bandages when you’re done?”

“Sure,” Lucifer said, looking at his scarred wrist and cringing.

“I’ll be outside if you need me,” Sue said as she took her leave.

She went straight to the common bathroom where they kept all their medical supplies and took out a roller bandage and an antiseptic for good measure. The wounds were still fresh. As she went about this, she felt her phone buzz a few times. When she checked, she saw that Carmen and Diavolo were sending her messages. She deleted the notifications and shut off her phone. Now wasn’t the time to confront them.

But in her head, she rehearsed the many things she wanted to say to them, the many words to shame them. She’d never truly forgiven them, not after bringing Lucifer to such a low point. She wanted to toss them like garbage. To her, some things could never be justified, never forgiven. She was all too familiar with cheating. 

She wanted to break them, see them crumble beneath her feet and beg for mercy. But that was all just a stargirl way of thinking. The damage was already done. Trying to get Lucifer back on his feet was more important. After all, she didn’t know them as well as he did.

“You ready?” Sue called after knocking on the door. 

“Yes.”

He was sitting on the edge of the bed, sleeve already pulled up to his bicep, arm resting on his lap. Lucifer kept his eyes on his wounds as Sue sat next to him. Lucifer’s hand only twitched a little as she cleaned his cuts, his pride returning somewhat to prevent himself from showing pain. Then she wrapped his wrist.

“Good job.”

Lucifer turned to the human only to find her with a soft smile on her face. “For what?”

“For trying,” Sue said.

It took a moment for Lucifer to process. He didn't quite get how something as trivial as trying was worth praising. To him, his best was the only thing worth it. But he wasn’t going to act like he didn’t enjoy getting complimented for something so minimal. 

They shared a quick, quiet chuckle with each other until settling into silence for the umpteenth time that evening. Their smiles slowly faded away. Lucifer supposed he felt a little better even with the images of Carmen sleeping with Diavolo plaguing his mind. His heart was still heavy over that. But when he told himself that there was a life beyond them, he believed it. 

He did just fine before they came in. There was no reason why he couldn’t do much better without them. Even when he fell, he wasn’t alone.

“Sue?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for coming down here,” Lucifer smiled. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

“Oh… Um… That’s just what friends do, you know.” Sue smiled sheepishly, not really expecting Lucifer to say anything like that. “We should probably do something about this room sometime soon. But not right now, if you don’t want to.”

“No, we should clean it up right now. I don’t think I could stand another day living in this.”

Together they gathered bags and threw away what needed to be thrown away. Clothes were sorted out, with the clean being put away and the dirty being set aside for washing. The photo album, which was dubbed unsalvageable and contained nothing but pictures of Carmen and Lucifer was thrown into the freshly lit fireplace. 

At that moment, Lucifer understood how Sue felt about the note she wrote some years back, a note only the both of them acknowledged. It was nothing more than ashes now, something to be forgotten about. His marriage to Carmen and friendship with Diavolo would follow suit.

It didn’t take long for Lucifer to decide what to do with the ring. As he and Sue carried out bags of bottles, they ran into Mammon. After a relatively short conversation about Lucifer’s wellbeing, the demon handed his little brother the hoop of fine gold.

“Take it. Do whatever you want with it. Keep it, melt it or sell it for some ungodly amount. I don’t care. Just do what you like.”

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

Disney but just the Queer Mood™ Songs, a full Spotify Playlist

Open to updates should anyone notice a song I missed!

Tracklist with specific lyrics that fuck us all up under the cut:

KEY: A general list of which songs resonate with people. The 🏳️‍🌈is for general songs; if you relate to a song but don’t see ur emoji beneath it, send me a message and I’ll add it!

🏳️‍🌈 General Queer Anthem  🌈 Gays specifically have related to this song  ❤️ Gay Men specifically have related to this song  🧡 Lesbians specifically have related to this song 💕 Bisexuals/Pansexuals specifically have related to this song  💜 Asexuals/Ace-spectrum people specifically have related to this song 💚 Aromatics/Aro-spectrum people specifically have related to this song 🤍 Trans people have specifically related to this song 🖤 Nonbinary/Genderqueer people have specifically related to this song  💗 Polyamorous people have specifically related to this song

Know Who You Are - Moana

🏳️‍🌈

They have stolen the heart from inside you But this does not define you  This is not who you are You know who you are...

I Wonder - Sleeping Beauty 

🌈🧡

I wonder, I wonder, I wonder why each little bird has a someone To sing to, sweet things to, A gay little love melody I wonder, I wonder, I wonder if my heart keeps singing, Will my song go winging To someone, who'll find me And bring back a love song to me...

Mother Knows Best - Tangled

🏳️‍🌈 honestly this is just... a general song for some of our shitty relationships to guardian figures...

It's a scary world out there Mother knows best One way or another Something will go wrong, I swear

Me, I'm just your mother, what do I know? I only bathed and changed and nursed you Go ahead and leave me, I deserve it Let me die alone here, be my guest When it's too late You'll see, just wait Mother knows best

Don't forget it You'll regret it...

Dangerous to Dream - Frozen Broadway Production

🏳️‍🌈

I can't be what you expect of me But I'm trying every day with all I do and do not say Here on the edge of the abyss Knowing everything in my whole life has lead to this And so I pull inside myself, close the walls, put up my guard I've practiced every single day for this So why is it so hard?

I can't dwell on what we've lost And our secrecy and silence comes at such a cost

I wish I could tell the truth Show you who's behind the door I wish you knew what all this pantomime And pageantry was for

It's dangerous to wish I could make choices of my own Dangerous to even have that thought I'm dangerous just standing here for everyone to see If I let go of rules who knows how dangerous I'd be?

Reflection - Mulan 

🏳️‍🌈🤍🖤- literally everyone requested this. everyone. so im just copy-pasting the entire lyrics sorry not sorry

Look at me, I will never pass for a perfect bride Or a perfect daughter Can it be I'm not meant to play this part? Now I see that if I were truly to be myself I would break my family's heart

Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Somehow I cannot hide who I am, though I’ve tried  When will my reflection show who I am inside?

How I pray that a time will come I can free myself From their expectations On that day, I'll discover someway to be myself And to make my family proud They want a docile lamb No one knows who I am Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide? Must I pretend that I'm Someone else for all time? When will my reflection show Who I am inside? When will my reflection show Who I am inside?

Everything I Ever Thought I Knew - Tangled: The Series

🏳️‍🌈 when u realize u might not be straight lol

I thought no one could love me And how could I have known? I was wrong, oh so wrong

Everything I ever thought I knew Where I've been, where I'm going Everything I counted on turned out to be untrue Could've guessed, should've known, now I do

If none of it was really me then who am I supposed to be?

I guess I'm someone else now I wonder who I am

God Help the Outcasts - Hunchback of Notre Dame

🏳️‍🌈...yeah. yeah

Yes, I know I'm just an outcast I shouldn't speak to You Still, I see Your face and wonder Were You once an outcast, too?

God help the outcasts, hungry from birth Show them the mercy they don't find on Earth God help my people, they look to You, still God help the outcasts or nobody will

I ask for nothing, I can get by But I know so many less lucky than I Please help my people, the poor and downtrod I thought we all were the children of God

Belle (Reprise) - Beauty and the Beast

🌈 when a cishet thinks ur interested smh

Madame Gaston! Can't you just see it? Madame Gaston! His little wife No, sir! Not me! I guarantee it I want much more than this provincial life!

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere I want it more than I can tell And for once it might be grand To have someone understand I want so much more than they've got planned...

Part of Your World - The Little Mermaid

🌈 SO many people requested this one guys it’s not even funny

Wandering free, wish I could be Part of that world

Betcha on land, they understand Bet they don't reprimand their daughters Bright young women, sick of swimming Ready to stand

When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love, Love to explore that shore up above?

One Jump Ahead (Reprise) - Aladdin

🏳️‍🌈

Riff-raff, street rat I don't buy that If only they'd look closer

Would they see a poor boy? No, siree They'd find out There's so much more to me...

Proud of Your Boy - Aladdin Broadway Production 

🏳️‍🌈❤️🤍

That I've been one rotten kid Some son, some pride and some joy But I'll get over these lousin' up Messin' up, screwin' up times...

Water flows under the bridge Let it pass, let it go There's no good reason that you should believe me Not yet, I know, but

Someday and soon I'll make you proud of your boy Though I can't make myself taller Or smarter or handsome or wise I'll do my best, what else can I do? Since I wasn't born perfect like Dad or you...

Someone’s Waiting for You - The Rescuers

🏳️‍🌈

Be brave, little one Make a wish for each sad little tear Hold your head up though no one is near Someone's waiting for you

Always keep a little prayer in your pocket And you're sure to see the light Soon there'll be joy and happiness And your little world will be bright

Have faith, little one Til your hopes and your wishes come true

Stick to the Status Quo - High School Musical 

🏳️‍🌈 🌈 YOU ALL KNOW EXACTLY WHY THIS IS HERE

No, no, no, stick to the stuff you know It is better by far to keep things as they are Don't mess with the flow, no no Stick to the status quo

Into the Unknown - Frozen 2

🏳️‍🌈

I can hear you, but I won't Some look for trouble while others don't There's a thousand reasons I should go about my day And ignore your whispers which I wish would go away

I've had my adventure, I don't need something new I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you

Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me? Who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be? Every day's a little harder as I feel my power grow Don't you know there's part of me that longs to go

Where are you going? Don't leave me alone How do I follow you Into the unknown?

Go the Distance - Hercules 

🏳️‍🌈

I have often dreamed of a far off place Where a great, warm welcome will be waiting for me

And a voice keeps saying This is where I'm meant to be

I am on my way, I can go the distance I don't care how far, somehow I'll be strong I know every mile will be worth my while I would go most anywhere to find where I belong

Tomorrow - Annie

🏳️‍🌈 - betcha didnt know disney had an annie movie did u

The sun will come out tomorrow Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow There'll be sun

When I'm stuck in a day that's gray and lonely, I just stick out my chin and grin and say, oh, The sun’ll come out tomorrow So you gotta hang on til tomorrow, come what may...

Learn Me Right - Brave

🏳️‍🌈💜💚

Though I may speak some tongue of old Or even spit out some holy word I have no strength with which to speak When you sit me down and see I’m weak

We will run and scream you will dance with me We'll fulfill our dreams, and we'll be free We will be who we are, and they’ll heal our scars Sadness will be far away...

Strange Sight - Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast 

🏳️‍🌈

You stand in the light You're wrong, but you're right And my heart's beating wildly Strange how I'm scared but delighted Afraid, but excited too

I will understand you Strange how I'm drawn to the danger I reach out my hand to you

If you're caught in the shadows and turned all around Lost in the darkness, you will be found If you hear my voice, follow the sound Cause I'm here to guide you home... 

I Don’t Dance - High School Musical 2 

🌈 ❤️ 💕 okay so if you weren’t here for the high school musical tumblr revival you may be confused but listen... it’s about being mlm... 

Step up to the plate, start swinging

I wanna play ball Now that’s all, this is what I do It ain’t no dance that you can show me

I’ve got what it takes playin’ my game So you best skin that pitch you gonna throw me, yeah I’ll show you how I swing

I can prove it to you ‘til you know it’s true Cause I can swing it, I can bring it to the diamond too You’re talking a lot, show me what you got Stop, swing!

Kiss the Girl - cover of The Little Mermaid 

this version is sung by a girl so 🧡💕

There you see her, sitting there across the way She don't got a lot to say but there's something about her And you don't know why, but you're dying to try You wanna kiss the girl

Yes, you want her Look at her, you know you do It's possible she want you too There is one way to ask her...

Can You Feel the Love Tonight - The Lion King 

🏳️‍🌈

An enchanted moment And it sees me through It's enough for this restless warrior Just to be with you

There's a time for everyone if they only learn That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors When the heart of this star-crossed voyager Beats in time with yours

And can you feel the love tonight? It is where we are It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer That we got this far And can you feel the love tonight? How it's laid to rest It's enough to make kings and vagabonds Believe the very best

Beauty and the Beast - Beauty and the Beast 

🏳️‍🌈- a lot of queer people tend to empathize with “beastly” characters so we all latched the fuck onto this movie huh

Just a little change, small to say the least Both a little scared, neither one prepared

Ever just the same, ever a surprise Ever as before, ever just as sure As the sun will rise

Tale as old as time, tune as old as song Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change Learning you were wrong...

Healing Incantation - Tangled 

🏳️‍🌈🤍🖤

Heal what has been hurt Change the fates' design Save what has been lost Bring back what once was mine

So Close - Enchanted 

🏳️‍🌈🌈

A life goes by, romantic dreams will stop So I bid mine goodbye and never knew So close was waiting waiting here with you And now, forever, I know All that I wanted to hold you so close

Oh, how could I face the faceless days If I should lose you now?

So close to reaching that famous happy end Almost believing this one's not pretend Let’s go on dreaming though we know we are So close, so close, and still So far...

If Only - Descendants

🏳️‍🌈🌈

A million thoughts in my head Should I let my heart keep listening? Cause up 'til now, I've walked the line Nothing lost but something missing I can't decide what's wrong, what's right Which way should I go?

Every step, every word With every hour I'm feeling in To something new, something brave To someone I've never been

Will you still be with me When the magic's all run out?

If only I knew what my heart was telling me Don't know what I'm feeling Is this just a dream? If only I could read the signs in front of me I could find the way to who I'm meant to be

Wherever You Are - Pooh’s Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin 

🏳️‍🌈- out of context could be interpreted as romantic, esp since the credits version is a duet (🌈 💕) but the original context is friendship so honestly it’s very 💜💚

I'm out here in the dark, all alone and wide awake Come and find me I'm empty and I'm cold, and my heart's about to break Come and find me

I need you to come here and find me Cause without you, I'm totally lost I've hung a wish on every star It hasn't done much good so far I can only dream of you

But when the morning comes and the sun begins to rise, I will lose you Because it’s just a dream, when I open up my eyes, I will lose you

I used to believe in forever, But forever is too good to be true I've hung a wish on every star It hasn't done much good so far

I don't know what else to do Except to try to dream of you And wonder, if you're dreaming too Wherever you are

I Won’t Say (I’m In Love) - Hercules

🏳️‍🌈 🌈 💕

If there's a prize for rotten judgment, I guess I've already won that

Who d'you think you're kiddin'? He's the earth and heaven to ya Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through ya Girl, you can't conceal it We know how you feel And who you're thinking of

I thought my heart had learned its lesson It feels so good when you start out My head is screaming "Get a grip, girl!" Unless you're dying to cry your heart out

You keep on denying Who you are and how you're feeling Baby, we're not buying Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling

This scene won't play I won't say I'm in love

At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love

Endless Night - The Lion King Broadway Production 

🏳️‍🌈🤍 🖤 

Where has the starlight gone? Dark is the day How can I find my way home? Home is an empty dream, lost to the night Father, I feel so alone

When will the dawning break, oh, endless night Sleepless I dream of the day

I know that the night must end And that the sun will rise I know that the clouds must clear And that the sun will shine

Set Yourself Free - Tangled: The Series 

🏳️‍🌈🤍

There's much more inside of you than anyone can see And now the choice is yours Life waits beyond the doors So step on through, the time has come And only you can set yourself free!

No one else can tell you what to do Or who to be! No one gets to say if you will stay or go

Look inside your heart and find the key... And set yourself free!

Bound up by your worries Trapped by your mistakes Forced to play a role you never chose Why not test your limits? You've got what it takes Let it out and follow where it goes

No more letting someone else define you to a "T" You know that you are strong You've known it all along So seize the day, let down your hair You’ll find a way to set yourself free!

So look to the horizon Open up your wings! Fly away to find your destiny... And set yourself free!

Speechless - Aladdin 2019 Remake 

🏳️‍🌈 ALL OF US ALL OF US

Here comes a wave meant to wash me away A tide that is taking me under

Cause I'll breathe when they try to suffocate me! Don't you underestimate me! Cause I know that I won't go speechless!

Written in stone, every rule, every word Centuries old and unbending "Stay in your place, better seen and not heard," Well, now that story is ending

Try to lock me in this cage! I won't just lay me down and die! I will take these broken wings And watch me burn across the sky!

I’m Still Here (Jim’s Theme) - Treasure Planet

🏳️‍🌈❤️🤍

I am a question to the world Not an answer to be heard Or a moment that's held in your arms

You don't know me And I'll never be what you want me to be

And what do you think you'd understand I'm a boy - No, I'm a man You can't take me and throw me away And how can you learn what's never shown Yeah, you stand here on your own They don't know me, cause I’m not here 

And I want to tell you who I am Can you help me be a man They can't break me As long as I know who I am

They can't tell me who to be 'Cause I'm not what they see Yeah, the world is still sleepin' While I keep on dreaming for me And their words are just whispers and lies That I'll never believe!

Crossing the Line - cover of Tangled: the Series 

🏳️‍🌈 🧡 tfw when u are DONE with that fuckin closet 

This has to stop now This thing where you think that you've been my friend And don't even hear how you condescend The way you've always done

How I've tried to jump that great divide! But I've never got the chances you were given You don't know how much I've been denied Well, I'm not being patient anymore

I'm crossing the line! And I'm done holding back So look out, clear the track, it's my turn! I'm taking what's mine Every drop, every smidge If I'm burning a bridge, let it burn! But I'm crossing the line...

Let it Go - Frozen 

🏳️‍🌈 listen. i do not have to explain this one. you all know exactly why it’s here. we were all tiny gays in 2013 losing our shit in the theater for no discernable reason why. we know

Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I tried

Don't let them in, don't let them see Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know Well, now they know!

Let it go! Let it go! Turn away and slam the door! I don't care what they're going to say!

It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all!

No right, no wrong, no rules for me I'm free!

I'm never going back, the past is in the past!

Let it go! Let it go! And I'll rise like the break of dawn Let it go! Let it go! That perfect girl is gone!

This is Me - Camp Rock 

🏳️‍🌈 🧡 💕 🤍

I've always been the kind of girl that hid my face So afraid to tell the world what I've got to say But I have this dream right inside of me I'm gonna let it show it's time To let you know It's to let you know

Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark? To dream about a life where you're the shining star

This is real, this is me I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now Gonna let the light shine on me Now I've found who I am there's no way to hold it in No more hiding who I wanna be...

Breaking Free - High School Musical 

🏳️‍🌈 🖤

You know the world can see us In a way that's different than who we are Creating space between us 'Till we're separate hearts But your faith it gives me strength Strength to believe

Soarin, flyin There’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach If we’re trying, yeah we’re breaking free  We’re running, climbin  To get to the place, to be all that we can be  Now’s the time, so we’re breaking free

True To Your Heart - Mulan 

🏳️‍🌈 🌈

Baby, I knew at once that you were meant for me Deep in my soul, I know that I'm your destiny Though you're unsure Why fight the tide Don't think so much Let your heart decide

True to your heart You must be true to your heart That's when the heavens'll part And, baby, shower you with my love Open your eyes Your heart can tell you no lies And when you're true to your heart I know it's gonna lead you straight to me

Someone ya know is on your side can set you free I can do that for you if you believe in me Why second guess what feels so right Just trust your heart And you'll see the light

Never Knew I Needed - The Princess and the Frog 

🏳️‍🌈 🌈 💕

For the way you changed my plans For being the perfect distraction For the way you took the idea that I have Of everything that I wanted to have And made me see there was something missing...

My accidental happily ever after The way you smile and how you comfort me with your laughter I must admit you were not a part of my book But now if you open it up and take a look You're the beginning and the end of every chapter

You're the best thing I never knew I needed So when you were here I had no idea You'd be the best thing I never knew I needed So now it's so clear I need you here always

Colors of the Wind - Pocahontas 

🏳️‍🌈 - colors.... rainbows.... yea

How can there be so much that you don't know? You don't know...

You think the only people who are people Are the people who look and think like you But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger You'll learn things you never knew, you never knew

How high will the sycamore grow If you cut it down, then you'll never know And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon For whether we are white or copper skinned We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains We need to paint with all the colors of the wind...

I See the Light - Tangled 

🏳️‍🌈 🌈 - you would not BELIEVE how many of y’all requested this one

Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight Now I'm here, suddenly I see Standing here, it's all so clear I'm where I'm meant to be

Now she's here shining in the starlight Now she's here, suddenly I know If she's here it's crystal clear I'm where I'm meant to go

And at last I see the light And it's like the fog has lifted And at last I see the light And it's like the sky is new And it's warm and real and bright And the world has somehow shifted

All at once, everything looks different Now that I see you

Strangers Like Me - Tarzan 

🏳️‍🌈 🤍 🖤- that moment when u find another queer person and ur like “holy shit”

I can see there's so much to learn It's all so close and yet so far I see myself as people see me Oh, I just know there's something bigger out there

Come with me now to see my world Where there's beauty beyond your dreams Can you feel the things I feel Right now, with you Take my hand There's a world I need to know...

Why Should I Worry? - Oliver & Company 

🏳️‍🌈- we’re queer, we’re here, get used to it 

Why should I worry? Why should I care? I may not have a dime But I got street savoir-faire Why should I worry? Why should I care? It's just be-bopulation And I got street savoir-faire

Why should I worry? Why should I care? And even when I crossed that line I got street savoir-faire

Welcome - Brother Bear 

🏳️‍🌈 pride parade amirite

Everyone's invited This is how we live We are here for each other, happy to give All we have we share And all of us we care

There's a bond between us nobody can explain It's a celebration of life We see our friends again I'll be there for you I know you'll be there for me, too So come on!

This has to be the most beautiful The most peaceful place I've ever been to It's nothing like I've never seen before When I think how far I've come I can't believe it And yet I see it In them I see family I see the way we used to be...

The Great Divide - Tinkerbell and the Secret of the Wings

🏳️‍🌈

I'm on your side Let's take this ride And together we're facing the world Doing things nobody's done before And the great divide doesn’t seem so wide anymore

With You by My Side - Tangled: the Series 

💗 - tangled the series was so close to being canon polyam istg

Now; now more than ever We must stick together united

If we're destined to head in our own different ways Let's make the most of these sweet final days Why not go out in a glorious blaze

There's nothing I couldn't do Not with you by my side What in the world would I do Without you by my side...

Love Will Find a Way - The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride

🏳️‍🌈 🌈

In a perfect world One we've never known We would never need to face the world alone They can have the world We'll create our own I may not be brave or strong or smart But somewhere in my secret heart

And if only they could feel it too The happiness I feel with you

Like dark turning into day Somehow we'll come through Now that I've found you Love will find a way I know love will find a way

Space Between - Descendants 2

🧡 never have i ever seen gays flock to a song faster

And you can find me in the space between Where two worlds come to meet I'll never be out of reach Cause you're a part of me so you can find me in the space between You'll never be alone No matter where you go We can meet in the space between

Even if we're worlds apart You're still in my heart It will always be you and me, yeah

If I Never Knew You - Pocahontas

🏳️‍🌈🌈

And if I never held you I would never have a clue How at last I'd find in you The missing part of me...

In this world so full of fear Full of rage and lies I can see the truth so clear In your eyes So dry your eyes

If I never knew you I'd be safe but half as real Never knowing I could feel A love so strong and true

I thought our love would be so beautiful  Somehow we'd make the whole world bright I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night But still my heart is saying we were right

I’d Give Anything - Tangled: the Series 

🧡 rapunzel’s sad breakup song

So if you find that you're in darkness or despair Though you won't turn to me please know I'll be right there Name any sacrifice, I'll pay the price that's due Cause I'd give anything for you Yes, I'd give anything to relive everything we knew...

Someday - Hunchback of Notre Dame 

🏳️‍🌈

I used to believe In the days I was naïve That I'd live to see A day of justice dawn And though I will die Long before that morning comes I'll die while believing still It will come when I am gone

Someday, when we are wiser When the world's older, when we have learned I pray someday we may yet live To live and let live

Someday, these dreams will all be real Till then we'll wish upon the moon Change will come, one day Someday soon... 

No One Is Alone - Into the Woods 

🏳️‍🌈

Mother cannot guide you, now your on your own. Only me beside you, still you're not alone. No one is alone. Truly, no one is alone…

People make mistakes Holding to their own  Thinking they’re alone 

Someone is on your side, someone else is not  While we’re seeing our side, maybe we forgot  They are not alone, no one is alone...

I Am Moana (Song of the Ancestors) - Moana

🏳️‍🌈 🤍 - it’s about the self-acceptance binch

Sometimes, the world seems against you The journey may leave a scar But scars can heal and reveal just Where you are

The people you love will change you The things you have learned will guide you And nothing on Earth can silence The quiet voice still inside you

I've delivered us to where we are I have journeyed farther I am everything I've learned and more Still it calls me

And the call isn't out there at all, it's inside me! It's like the tide, always falling and rising I will carry you here in my heart, you remind me That come what may I know the way

Show Yourself - Frozen 2 

🏳️‍🌈 - this one was claimed immediately by the queer community and we all have a stake in it but i do want to point out that i got this from a LOT of 🤍 🖤 💜 💚

I have always been a fortress Cold secrets deep inside You have secrets too But you don't have to hide

I've never felt so certain All my life, I've been torn But I'm here for a reason Could it be the reason I was born? I have always been so different Normal rules did not apply Is this the day? Are you the way I finally find out why?

Oh, show yourself Let me see who you are... Come to me now Open your door Don't make me wait One moment more!

(Come, my darling, homeward bound) I am found!

Transformation / Beauty and the Beast (Reprise) - Beauty and the Beast Broadway Production 

🏳️‍🌈

We are home, we are where we shall be forever  Trust in me, for you know I won’t run away from today This is all that I need, and all that I need to say  Don’t you know how you’ve changed me? Strange how I finally see  I found home, you’re my home, stay with me... 

Finale / Let it Go - Frozen Broadway Production 

🏳️‍🌈 this makes me bawl so it gets finale

There’s so much I longed to say Then say it all, beginning with today It’s like a dream I thought could never be  Elsa, you’re free 

Here we stand in the light of day Let the sun shine on 

I take this warmth within and send it up above Goodbye to dark and fear, let’s fill this world with light and love And here surrounded by a family at least  We’re never going back, the past is in the past 

Let our true love go  Let it go!

[overheardatthecontinental]

Talk Chapter 19

AO3 LINK

 It was over, but not done.

 There were still so many things to do before John could drop everything and go home to Helen.

 He starts by calling Nick.

 “H-hello?” Jesus, the boy really was afraid of him.

 Ironic, John thinks, considering he owes this kid more than he can ever hope to repay for allowing Helen to contact him during her imprisonment. And then looking out for her at the cost of his job, possibly his life if DeLuca had found out.

 “It’s done.” He says, “DeLuca’s going to be picked up by Adjudication. Are you able to stay until someone gets there to pick up Isabella?”

 “Yeah, yeah. Of course. The, uh, the bounty’s dropped then?”

 He exhales and, fuck, it feels so good.

 The bounty is dropped. The contract is closed. And while he doesn’t think either of them will ever be truly safe, no one is coming after her anymore.

 “Yes.”

 “Good. That’s, that’s good.” Nick sounds relieved, too. The younger man pauses for a moment and then tentatively asks, “Would you do me a favor, Mister Wick, sir? She told me if I ever wanted to talk… I just was wondering if you could ask her to call me. When she’s back and settled and shi—stuff. Stuff.”

 And, god, Helen was just      that    good. And it had started as manipulation, he knew. A way to save herself when he wasn’t there to do the job but there was no doubt in John’s mind that Helen would meet with Nick every week, for as long as he needed.

 “Yeah, kid. I’ll pass it along.”

 “Thank you.”

 John pauses, thoughtfully. “When Isabella’s been picked up, head over to the Continental. Ask for Winston. New York is always busy. I know they’re looking to hire another Sommelier. It’ll pay more than Syndicate; I can guarantee that. I’ll put in a good word for you.”

 “Really?”

 “Really.”

 He shakes his head, in disbelief of himself. He knew Helen was his reason, but John couldn’t quite pinpoint the moment he had gone utterly and completely      soft    .

 Maybe she’d have some insight to that, he thinks, smiling to himself.

 And, because he doesn’t want the knowledge that he has gone soft to spread, he adds, “Don’t fuck it up” and ends the call.

 After all, he isn’t done in the Underworld.

 For starters, the contract had been dropped but that didn’t mean the memo had gotten out. And that needed to happen before he brought Helen back home. The last thing he wanted was to bring her back only to have some kid target her because they ignored the notice.

 The hotel buzzes as John walks through the front door.

 He ignores it, as he always does, approaching the front desk. There’s a small queue that has gathered in front of Charon, but the Concierge waves him up.

 “The Manager is expecting you. He is in his office.”

 John nods his thanks and turns towards the hall where he’ll find Winston, only to run into Verdugo.

 The other assassin looks him over, regarding him with vague interest. He’s carrying a weapons bag, slung over a shoulder. A duffle bag resides in his other hand.

 He’s leaving, John realizes. Verdugo was a drifter.

 The only thing that had kept him in New York was the possibility of a substantial bounty that has since been removed.

 Verdugo breaks the silence first, “I’ll admit, when I heard you were trying to get the bounty removed, I didn’t think you could do it.”

 John raises a brow.

 Because what the hell is he supposed to say to that?

     Oh, no worries. Totally get it. You wouldn’t have wasted both our time if you had only realized sooner that you couldn’t kill my love?  

 “It was just business.”

 Now that, John thinks, is something he’s grown very tired of hearing.

 The Underworld, for better or worse—and right now, John Wick was very much leaning towards      worse    , was all about money and advancement. Status.

 The values he has been exposed to, he realizes, had been very self-serving. No wonder so many narcissists and hedonists thrived in the Underworld.

  And John had survived because he was so self-reliant. He had thrived in a world where favors are currency by being willing to help others and avoiding asking for any help in return. It made him rich, in more than just money. The pile of markers in his collection is unparalleled.

 But he still went home alone. To an empty house. In an empty life, where escapism had been his only fulfillment.

 Drifting.

 In control but, somehow, still empty.

 Until Helen had forced her way into his head, laying claim to his heart.

 And suddenly everything that had once seemed so complicated and out of reach was within his grasp.

 In that moment, he pities Verdugo.

 A man, so much like him in so many ways. A drifter. Free of roots and obligation. Making a name for himself by virtue of skill and competency. But hollow like a tin soldier.

 Verdugo will move on to the next contract. The name Helen Kingston will be replaced with another unfortunate soul, who John is certain will not be as lucky.

 And he’ll make his money and build his legacy.

 And he’ll go home alone. To an empty house. In an empty life.

 John wants to kill him along with anyone else who had hurt or threatened Helen’s life, but it occurs to him that might be a mercy. And maybe Verdugo doesn’t deserve mercy but John didn’t deserve mercy, either. But it had found him.

 Still, he feels the need to say, “If I ever see you anywhere near her…”

 “You won’t.” Verdugo assures him, “Be seeing you.”

 “No.” John says, “You won’t.”

 He leaves Verdugo standing in the hall as he makes his way to Winston’s office.

 The old man doesn’t even look up as John walks in. “It would appear that you had a busy day.” He says as he practically collapses into one of the leather chairs.

 “Busy week.” John amends, “I think I finally understand the phrase      thank god it’s Friday    .”

 Winston smirks, rising to his feet, “Drink?”

 He shakes his head, “No, thank you. I’ve had enough today, while playing politics. Did you happen to hear from Sofia?”

 “Yes,” Winston says, pouring himself brandy, “I already sent someone to collect Mateo. And Isabella. She said you got a confession from the former.”

 “Lorenzo plans to force the counsel to convene on Monday, here in the city.”

 “He wants justice meted out swiftly.”

 “That makes two of us.” John agrees with a nod. “I want this done and in the past.”

 “Understandably. You managed the impossible this week.”

 “Didn’t think I could do it?” John asks, thinking of his conversation with Verdugo and the time that had been wasted pursuing Helen Kingston.

 “On the contrary,” Winston says, taking the seat next to him, “You made me a great deal of money.”

 John arches a brow.

 “You successfully removing the bounty was the long odds over at Dex’s. Fifty to one.”

 And, fuck, but that makes him laugh. He didn’t realize how much he needed that after the stress of the day, “How much did you put down?”

 “Five grand.” Winston looks at him strangely and it occurs to John that he’s probably never laughed in front of Winston before.

 “Well-played.” He says, shaking his head in amusement. While he never intends to tell Helen of the betting odds placed on when she would die and by whose hand, he can’t help but think that she’d get a kick out of it. Either that, or she’d be pissed she never got a chance to get in on the action.

 Yeah. That sounds right.

 “I know the rumor mill will have heard that the contract was dropped,” John says, “but is it possible to get Administration to send out a mass message? To confirm it, and make sure anybody working solo is notified?”

 “I’ll see to it myself.”

 John nods gratefully. That would make him feel much better about taking her back to the city. Although he’s already mentally preparing himself for the wave of anxiety that will surely hit the moment, he leaves her alone to go back to work. He tables that particular worry for now.

 “I have another favor to ask.”

 Winston rolls his eyes, “Indeed?”

 “Nick Russo. Ex-Syndicate. He burnt some bridges today to help keep Helen safe. I’d appreciate it if you considered him for the second Sommelier position you were considering opening up.”

 The old man hums, “I’ll meet with him.”

 “Thank you.”

 And just like that, two things are checked off his list.

 Winston was good like that. As Manager, it was his job to be accommodating and helpful and ensure everyone was getting the best services that could be offered to those serving the High Table. But it was also more than that.

 For decades, Winston had been a mentor to him.

 After being introduced by Charon, Winston had immediately taken to the young, reckless assassin. He’d seen something that others had brushed to the side.

 And John had been skeptical. Untrusting.

 But Winston had been relentless. He offered sound advice that John found hard to ignore. Slowly, John had found himself utilizing the Manager. After moving back to New York, it became clear that Winston knew the city and its inhabitants better than anyone.

 Somewhere along the line, John had begun to trust him.

 Winston had tried to line John up for Management but had accepted his decision when John, respectfully, denied interest in such a path. While Winston mourned John’s lack of ambition, he continued to serve as a mentor.

 Arguably, the closest thing John had ever had to a father-figure.

 John doesn’t doubt, for a moment, his decision to retire. He will miss very little about the Underworld. But Winston would be counted amongst them.

 And while John doesn’t particularly want to have this conversation, he owes it to Winston to be the one to tell him.

 “I’ve decided to retire.”

 Winston’s head turns sharply, “Pardon?”

 John sits up straighter in the chair, “I’m retiring. As soon as everything has been taken care of, I’m leaving the Underworld.”

 “Jonathan, you have obligations.” Winston says, shaking his head, “You can’t just      retire    .”

 “Lorenzo is freeing me of my contractual obligations. I intend to reach out to Viggo to make arrangements as well.”

 “Lorenzo D’Antonio is letting you walk away?” The surprise is evident in his voice.

 John nods.

 “Miraculous in itself, but you cannot expect Viggo to do the same.”

 “I won’t take no for an answer.” John says softly, “One way or another, I’m getting out. And I’ve made up my mind about this. It won’t be changed.”

 He leaves no room for argument. Bittersweet as it may be, there is nothing that can change his mind anymore. Even if Helen didn’t want him, he would have left to keep her safe. His enemies wouldn’t have used her against him if he was no longer a problem.

 But Helen did want him. She loved him, beyond all reason.

 “Whatever will you do?”

 John feels his lips twitch. Aside from keeping house and devoting the majority of his time to ensuring Helen’s happiness—that she never regrets choosing him, he really isn’t sure. He knew he didn’t have it in him, nor did he have the credentials or the qualifications, to work in the real world. At least, for most occupations.

 And, truthfully, he was tired of the constant work.

 Hating his life and coming home to an empty house, John had filled his life with work. Work until the point of distraction. Which meant extra jobs, far beyond working for money. He worked to kill people and time, respectively.

 Decades of working seven days a week, every day of the year.

 He’s looking forward to the break.

 Maybe he’d pick up a hobby. He’d continue to bind books through the coldness of the winter. Maybe he’d even start to sell them or volunteer with a library to fix old tomes.

  Maybe, come springtime, he’d actually open the pool in his backyard which had been closed and unused since he first moved in.

 He planned to cook for her. Maybe he’d get into that. Learn to make things from scratch. To bake.

 The possibilities were endless.

 “I don’t know.” He answers honestly and he’s… surprisingly okay with that. The uncertainty would usually throw him for a loop, but John finds himself completely and unexpectedly happy not knowing. It was freeing.

 “Are you—”

 “Yes.” John interrupts before Winston can say      sure    . “More sure, more certain than I have ever been about anything in my life.”

 Winston nods, slowly. He doesn’t understand, John knows. The old man probably won’t ever understand why John was giving up the wealth, the prestige, the permanent get-out-of-jail-free card that existed for the members of the Underworld.

 “When?” He asks.

 “As soon as possible. I plan on testifying Monday. I’ll meet with Viggo after and inform him of my intentions.”

 “It will not be easy.”

 “I don’t expect it to be. But it won’t matter. Whatever Viggo demands, I’ll do it.”

 And he would. Nothing would stop him.

 They sit in silence as Winston seems to digest it all. It’s odd, he thinks. He knows Winston disapproves, just as he had when John had first told him about Helen. But Winston knows that John doesn’t give a fuck about approval. No one’s opinion influenced him, save Helen’s.

 He missed her.

 It had only been hours since he had last held her in his arms, and he missed her.

 Was this what it was to be in love? To crave the presence of another in any and every form? To hold them in your mind’s eye even when you are away?

 How did people stand it, living like this?

 And yet, John acknowledges, he would not give it up for the world.

 “I find myself at a loss for words.” Winston says after minutes of silence. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. You were ready to burn New York to the ground to find her. Ready to declare war on the High Table to get her back.” The old man shakes his head, “And you seem certain. I know your mind will not be changed. But I feel the need to ask you, once more, Jonathan: is she really worth it?”

 John thinks of her smile.

 The kindness in her eyes.

 The warmth of her touch.

 Her quick wit. Her inquisitive nature. The way she just accepted things as they were. The way she shut him down when he was starting to bullshit himself. The books he had mentioned in passing on her bedside table as she made the effort no one else had to understand him.

 John nods, “She really is.”

 ……….

 He parks the car and John feels another wave of relief wash over him. The fact that it’s over, that Helen is safe keeps hitting him again and again. And now, he’s within feet of her.

 John slips out of the car, admiring for the first time since they moved to the Vermont safehouse how bright the stars were when there were no lights around.

 The front door opens and Marcus steps out, his bag in his hand.

 “I take it everything went well?”

 John nods. “You leaving?”

 Marcus nods back, closing the door behind him. “After everything, I figured you two could probably use some time alone.”

 He’s grateful for Marcus’ reasoning. While John had no intention of kicking Marcus out, he’s right. The only thing John wants to do is wrap Helen up in his arms and never let her go.

 “Thank you.” He says, “For everything. I’ll never be able to re—”

 “Don’t.” Marcus shakes his head. “I was happy to do it. More for her sake than for yours. You’re still kind of a dick but… she makes you almost tolerable.”

 John huffs out a laugh, “Who would have thought.”

 “That the only person capable of taking you down was a therapist who can barely form a sentence fragment without coffee?” Marcus exhales in disbelief. “Mind-boggling. Call me when you two get back to the city.”

 “Will do.” John promises as Marcus throws his duffle into the trunk of his car as he makes his way up the short stairs and into the cottage.

 John slips off his suit jacket, hanging it by the door. He undoes the buttons on his vest, one by one, as he walks down the hall towards the living room. He tugs that off, too, draping it over the couch.

 She’s not in the living room or the kitchen. He continues down the hall towards their bedroom. The door is open and, sure enough, Helen is in bed. Her back leans against the headboard, a book is open in her hand.

 John leans against the door, undoing the top two buttons of his shirt.

 Before him is a sight he could spend an eternity gazing in wonder at. Her glasses have slipped down the bridge of her nose as she reads. He watches as she reaches for her bookmark without looking up, turning the page as she inserts it.

 Without a glance, she smiles, “Hi honey, how was your day?” She asks as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. He loves her for it. For making him feel some semblance of normality amidst the bullshit and the chaos.

 John swallows even as his lips twitch in amusement. “Oh, you know. Bitch of a commute. Faked a powerful man’s death. Tried my hand at politics. Not a fan. Then I took down a mafia boss.”

 She sets her book aside before removing her glasses. Helen scans him up and down, assessing for injuries.

 His heart swells with love and adoration. It consumes him and makes it almost difficult to breathe. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do with all these emotions flowing through him.

 And, like she can sense he’s overwhelmed, Helen stands up. She crosses the room, her dark eyes gazing into him.

 He wonders if she can see his soul. And if she can, will she change her mind about him? Will she realize how truly terrible, how awful he is?

 But as he looks into those brown eyes, all he sees reflected back is love.

 She loves him, he thinks, even though he doesn’t deserve it. He was a despicable human being. One who had dragged her into the depths of Hell. Even still, she never wavered.

 Helen was stronger than he ever hoped to be.

 And she loved him. Despite everything.

 It staggers him.

 Helen reaches him and he cannot help but fall to his knees before her. His arms wrap around her middle, seemingly of their own accord, and he buries his face against her stomach. John’s breath escapes him in a shudder as her arms come up around him, holding him.

 She strokes his hair and he can barely hold back a sob.

 “I love you, John.”

 And, fuck it all, the dam breaks.

 He’d lost her, this week.

 Someone had taken her, stolen her from her bed. Had      hurt    her to get to him. Had put a bounty on her head for the sole purpose of manipulating him, simultaneously activating agents to find her and kill his beloved.

 Verdugo, who promised to make it quick.

 Kate, who would have obliterated Helen until there was nothing left.

 The kids in the alley, looking to make a name for themselves, would have killed her.

 Along with the hundreds of others who had searched for her, even idly.

 He had spent a week feeling out of control, out of his depth. Unsure of how to save her, hating himself for putting her into that position. Terrified that one wrong move could lead to her death.

 “I’m sorry.” He chokes out, aware that his tears are soaking into her shirt.

 She steps back, only to drop to her knees, too. Her arms wrap around him in a tight hug as he rests his head at the crook of her neck. A hand comes up to cradle his head.

 “You have      nothing     to be sorry for.” She assures him.

 He swallows, heavily. He’s not sure when he last cried but it had to have been decades.

 “It’s my fault…”

 The arm around his back tightens and she turns her face to his head.

 “I’m so sorry I didn’t… didn’t protect you better… and---”

 “Hey,” the hand on his head moves to his cheek and she leans back to look at him. Her thumb strokes a tear, “You didn’t know. You had no reason to suspect that I would be targeted. But you know what?” Her fingers massage his neck, “I’m glad I was.”

 He tilts his head in disbelief.

 “If DeLuca hadn’t have taken me,” she says softly, “I would have seen you for an hour this week. And an hour next. And the week after that. And that would be it. I would have loved you from afar because that’s all I could do.

 “But now,” she runs her fingers down his face, “I can hold you. And kiss you. And love you. And that is more than worth the price of spending a couple uncomfortable days locked in a basement and a couple more hidden away from the world.”

 John shakes his head, because she is unreal sometimes. “You deserve so much be—”

 “      We    don’t get to decide what we deserve, John. That’s never been up to us.” She echoes what she had told him that day in her office. Hours before she had been taken. “But we do get some say in how we’re going to live.”

 John finds himself swallowing, his breath hitching as he tries to breathe in. “And how are we going to live?”

 “Well,” Helen says with a soft smile, “We’re going to start by hiding away for the rest of the weekend. And you’re going to make good on your promise to fuck me on your tongue until I can’t scream anymore.”

 He can’t help but chuckle at how serious she sounds but      fuck    . Yeah, he’s definitely doing that.

 “And then, we’re going to go home. And instead of picking my lock to sneak inside and watch me sleep, you’re going to fall asleep next to me. And instead of leaving before daylight, you’re going to wake up with me. Every day.

 “We’ll take weekend trips to Vermont, every now and then. I’ll make you go antiquing with me.” He laughs at that. Helen smiles back, continuing, “And I’ll make you take me to that other house you’ve got in Maine.”

 “It’s on a lake.” He tells her, thinking she might like that. He’ll buy a boat. Or a few, unsure if she’d prefer a motorboat or something like a kayak. Whatever she decides, she’ll have. She’ll never want for anything so long as he is breathing.

 Helen moves so that she is high on her knees. Her hands reach to cup either side of his face and she leans in to press her lips to his forehead.

 “We’re going to have a really good life.” She promises and fuck, he believes her. “And we’re going to be so fucking happy.”

 She kisses her way down his face, slowly. Tenderly.

 Her lips reach his. How, he thinks, can a kiss be so gentle? So different than anything he’s ever experienced.

 It was glorious when she kissed him passionately. It drove him wild when her teeth nipped at his lips or her tongue greedily sucked at his own.

 But she’s being so soft that it might very well break him again.

 She didn’t look at him and see the Boogeyman. Even knowing who he was, she didn’t let it influence her opinion of him.

 He felt human in her arms, in her eyes.

 He loves her for it. Among the plethora of reasons that he loved and adored her.

 John wraps his arms under her thighs, rising to his feet, and pulling her up with ease.

 She kisses the corner of his mouth as he carries her over to the bed. “I love you,” she whispers as he lays her down.

 They both undress, taking their time.

 The initial desperation has faded and while John is certain it will come back again, he is more than content to take it slow.

 When they are both naked, John revels in the warmth of her skin. He kisses his way around her body, allowing his hands the time to memorize every curve, dip, and swell of her body. And she lets him, like she knows how badly he needs this.

 And she probably does, he thinks. She’s always been in his head.

 Helen’s hand reaches the top of his head, stroking back his hair as he kisses every inch of skin he can reach from his place atop of her.

 His open-mouth grazes across her collarbone and John soaks in the way her hand tightens in his hair, her sharp intake of breath as his teeth scrape against her skin. He wonders what other sounds he can coax from her body… He’ll spend forever finding out.

 John kisses her lips again. How addictive that feeling, that taste has become.

 One hand tilts her head, allowing him to deepen the kiss while his other stretches down her perfect body, dipping between her thighs. He cups her core, feeling the warmth radiating from within her. He dips a finger between her folds. She’s soaking and it’s all for      him    .

 He kisses her harder, feeling his lips bruise as he gently circles his clit with his finger.

 She moans into his mouth and he swallows it down.

     I love you    , he thinks, and has to remind himself that he can say that now. He doesn’t have to keep it bottled in. He wonders how long it will take until he can say it without hesitation. Until it spills as easily from his lips as it comes to echo in his mind.

 “I love you, Hels.” He tells her, kissing down her jaw.

 “John!” She cries out as he continues to toy with her sensitive clit. He reaches down, coating his fingers in her slick heat before pressing them into her opening. His thumb takes over rolling over the sensitive bundles of nerves.

 Helen whimpers, her nails digging into his back. He nips at her throat with his teeth. She’s marked him well enough. Now it’s his turn.

 He wants to claim her. To leave his mark all over her so that anyone who sees her will have no doubt that she is taken. One day, he swears to himself that he’ll put a ring on her finger, but until then, he’ll be content with this.

 More than content.

 He sucks at her neck and plays with her clit until she is a moaning, writhing mess. Before she can reach her release, however, he removes his fingers from her pussy and brings them to his lips.

 Helen shudders as she watches him suck her essence from his fingers.

 His own cock twitches at the taste.

 When he is done, she grabs his hair and yanks him back for a kiss. She sucks on his tongue, tasting herself and he’s never been harder in his life.

 ..

 John takes his heavy cock in hand and brings it to her entrance. He pushes inside slowly, inch by inch. Letting himself focus on every sensation. The way her pussy yields to him, clenching around him. The way her stomach tightens and her breath stutters. Her grip around him.

 He closes his eyes as he finds himself completely buried inside of her. His hips cannot go any further.

 The hitch in her breath delights him. John draws back out, reveling in the soft changes in her breath, before he drives back in. Helen cries out and he kisses her neck. Her pussy tightens around him at the sensation.

 He’s never needed anyone the way he needs her.

 He knows he never will again.

 This woman is everything to him. She is it for him. And he’ll love her with every fiber, every atom of his being until he dies. And then beyond.

 “Fuck, baby!” She cranes her neck, giving him more access.

 He makes a mental note of how much she loves the attention he’s paying to her throat. He nips and she arches her back, crying out yet again. Clenching around him, again.

 John rolls his hips, careful to ensure steady pressure to her clit.

 Because it’s about her. It’s always been about her.

 He lifts his head, turning her head back to him so he can kiss her yet again. Languidly drowning in her as he takes his time fucking her, bringing her to the edge yet again.

 Helen swears, her nails biting into him. Her hips meet his, grinding against him as she moans. His thrusts increase in speed and John feels Helen’s entire body seem to tighten.

 And all at once, she breaks around him, crying out as a wave of pleasure slams into her. The way her pussy throbs around him is enough to make him lose his resolve and he soon finds himself spilling inside of her with a loud groan.

 His eyes lose their focus as his head drops down to the pillow, nestling in the crook of her neck as he breathes heavily. The rush of immediate pleasure leaves him but he is left feeling glorious as he lies on top of her body, still buried inside of her, still feeling the aftershocks of her own orgasm milking him.

 With an exhale, he raises his head to look back at her. Her beautiful eyes gazing at him.

 Helen reaches up. She pushes back the hair which had fallen into his face before wrapping her hand around to the back of his head, guiding his forehead to rest on hers.

 “I love you, John.”

 “I love you, too.” He says, swallowing back the emotions that overwhelm him.

 And he’s never going to let her forget it. She will never have the opportunity to forget or doubt that he loves her. That she is his everything.

 What she said earlier was true: they were going to be so fucking happy.

 And he was going to do this right.

 John kisses her cheek, “How about I buy you dinner?”

 Helen smiles back, “After all this, you better.”

......

One more chapter of this installment to come

thanks to @meetmeinthematinee​ for reviewing and editing <3

[spectralarchers]

Angst prompts! #38 with WinterHawk! (Because seeing you reblog it has made me ship it damn you

I can’t be held accountable for any new ships you begin to ship, but Winterhawk is one of the superior ships to fall for <333

________________________________________________

Prompt #38: “Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself.”

They hadn’t been able to capture Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff or Sam Wilson. 

The moment they’d opened the van transporting them to find it empty, only to realize that Maria Hill had infiltrated HYDRA and gotten their three prisoners out, well... HYDRA had turned to other SHIELD agents to go after, and one of their prized subjects was Clint Barton.

Brock Rumlow had whined again, and again, and again about the fact that “fucking Barton” was still out there, a known SHIELD agent and faithful to Nick Fury through and through because Fury had plucked him out of where he’d found him. But, most of all, they knew that Clint was still in and out of the medibay at the Triskelion, still getting over Loki’s mindcontrol, and when Nick Fury had died, Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff had gone AWOL and the rest of SHIELD beginning to crumble from the inside and out...

Well, Clint had been at the Triskelion for one of his weekly check-ups. So, they knew for a fact, that Level 7 Agent Clint Barton was locked into one of their medical cells, in isolation, unawares of what was going on in the world.

Because the treatment to help him get over Loki meant that he had to stay two nights over every week, where they measured his brain activity during, before and after treatment.

Alexander Pierce summons his STRIKE team and the Asset to eliminate Barton. “It’ll send a message to Rogers and the others,” he’d said to the team when he’d given the order.

“Rumlow,” he’d warned, “bring the asset down to watch. Show him that HYDRA doesn’t show any mercy to its enemies,” Pierce had said, sharp in his phrasing, watching the Winter Soldier, whose eyes had been focusing on him.

*

When they unlock the glass door and the pressure inside his cell begins to equal out with the outside one, Clint looks up from his bunk bed. He’s expecting the usual scientists, but when he sees that it’s Rumlow, with all his thugs from the STRIKE-team behind him, he knows something is up immediately. 

Pushing himself to a standing position, he registers all of the faces in front of him. But it’s the silhouette standing in the middle of them that catches his attention, because he would recognize the Winter Soldier anywhere. He’s known about the Soldier for years - the Soldier had gotten him out of a bad mission in Iraq many years before, when his unit had been caught off guard in the middle of the desert.

The Winter Soldier had looked at Clint, as if he’d recognized someone else, and it had left Clint wondering about him ever since. He’d asked Natasha about the Soldier, but she’d said he didn’t exist - only at first. Then she’d told him that she’d been shot by him, and Clint nodded.

Ghost stories in the intelligence community aren’t a good thing.

However, when the doors open and Brock walks in, gun in hand, pointing it at Clint’s forehead, Clint obliging the motion of getting onto his knees, hands up in submission, he watches as the rest of the STRIKE team urges the Soldier forward.

He can see Brock’s lips moving, and he could lip read, but he wants to be a pain in their ass, and ever so slowly, he points to his ears. A look of exasperation passes on Brock’s face, and Brock motions to one of the other STRIKE-team members to “find Barton’s aids, for fuck’s sake!” Clint manages to make out on his lips.

It gains him a couple of seconds to lock eye contact with the masked Soldier standing slightly to the side.

One of the STRIKE-teams hands him his aids, and as he ever so slowly pushes them inside his ears, sound makes itself known to him again. He can immediately hear the breathing of everyone in the room, while Brock is giving a speech about being superior and eventually puts the barrel of the gun on Clint’s forehead.

“Rogers and Romanoff betrayed us, you’ll pay for their actions,” Brock mutters, but movement to the side stops him in his tracks. The Soldier has stepped forward, metal arm extended.

“Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself,” the Soldier says, voice low and controlled. Brock looks at the other agents behind him, as if looking for someone to make the decision for him, but having to give up on the pleasure of shooting Clint Barton across the skull seems to be too great.

Clint smiles. “Yeah, give him the gun, Brock,” he urges him, “I’d rather die  by the hands of the Winter Soldier than a piece of shit like you,” he continues, and that seems to set Brock off again, and just as Brock moves the gun slightly away from his forehead, Clint moves quickly, in sync with the Soldier, the gun neutralized, and in Clint’s hands as the Soldier is making his way through the STRIKE-team, culminating in Brock being thrown through a glass door.

The Winter Soldier looks over at Clint, who looks back at the Winter Soldier. He can’t see the Soldier’s mouth, but he recognizes a smile in the eyes of the man opposite him, clear as day.

“You have to get out of here,” the Soldier states, and Clint nods. “What will you do?”

The Soldier looks around him. “Erase their memory and tell them you escaped,” he says, and Clint nods again. “Go. Find your colleagues. Now.”

Send me one of these prompts and I’ll write something ♥

[chiropteran-hellfire]

A Reply

Alright. I was not planning on originally doing this, simply because to respond to such pettiness I see as beneath me, but the line of tolerance no matter how far it may be to reach, still exists, and if one crosses it I will not be able to ignore such a gesture.

I have been sent ten messages of hateful provocation under a new empty blog to hide their identity, this is my answer to that person.

First thing's first, some context. I am otherkin, and I have a history within the community. About a month ago now Grey, the owner of the largest otherkin Discord chat, of which I was a moderator in for roughly two years, decided to not only abandon it; casting everyone within it into a state of confusion, but to also clearly state, "You can all go to hell." This was done while also assigning ownership to the dead account of a person whom I do not have kind memories of. I took this as not only a despicably irresponsible action to abandon a large scale community without properly assigning a new owner, but to make it as a personal final 'fuck you' to not only all of the members, but myself personally due to the choice of account she assigned it to.

Grey was not unaware of my history with that account/individual, and she was also not unaware of my BPD, something that if triggered will cause me to act irrationally and extravagantly. The result was uncontrollable on my part. My home had turned against me, so I turned against it in turn. I broke down many of the channels yet still fought myself to leave the ones that held the most important information - the otherkin and fictionkin channels. Were my actions the best thing to do? No. Were they personally unjustified? Well, that's the argument isn't it? One that's unfortunately tainted with having an Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder.

However, the result of this was that I was finally shown who would offer me understanding, listen to my side, and give me the time to not harass me at the first chance they got. My enemies and friends became clearer than ever to me. Not only this, but the resulting fall out has caused the community to break free from Grey's dying chat; a chat that was often neglected by it's owner. It has allowed the community to turn over a new page within our history books. One person described my actions as a mercy killing, for Grey locked it into a stagnant slow death, while I pushed everyone to make a move that was needed, but no one wanted to make.

I do not expect you to see it this way however, and you are free to see my actions as immoral, unjust and anything else you wish.

That all being said, no matter how much you might not agree with a person's actions, the answer is not to go and send that person continuous spite and try to prey on my mental issues to torment me with as a result. I never intentionally wanted to hurt anyone. You, on the other hand, do wish for such. This is why I am making this reply, because I know who you are Tama, and everyone needs to know just how cruel you really are.

No I'm afraid I can't take credit for such a thing, though after all you've now sent to me I rather wish I could. You are clearly in ignorance to the pain I was experiencing at the moment. What Grey did sent me so far over the edge it's honestly impossible to put into words in any way that'd give it the amount of meaning I'd wish to convey.

The amount of harassment I have received afterwards only shows I had not 'run away' in full, or I wouldn't have been able to receive these messages of abuse in the first place. Just like yours being sent to me now... weeks after the event. So here's your response, I'm not running away, lets continue.

You were doing well with your opener, but now we see your true colours don't we? One of an underhanded opponent who knows not how to make an actual argument, but resort to insults that may just rival that of a 6 year old's if I'm being generous.

I do worry for you though, are you implying there are 'real vampires' out there? Undead creatures that rise from the graves of humans possessing immortality and all manner of other abilities? I think you should see someone about such beliefs, one might start to think you're a little unhinged.

After I had received the first two messages, I informed my friends and one of them contacted you. Such a threatening action to your previously held notion of anonymity seemed to have knocked some sense into you as you start to talk more sensibly now. If only you could talk to me like this personally, maybe we could get somewhere, but you speak through the gritted teeth of hypocrisy.

You talk of owning up to one's actions while you hide behind a false identity. The irony would be laughable if not so pitiful. I am not the one hiding here, I am responding, I am wishing to speak with you properly. You however, are not.

I am honest. If you had simply come to me to ask my views I would have told you, but you decided not to do that, and to simply demean and berile me from behind a wall. Do come out when you're feeling braver.

I'm not running. My honour is that my actions are stained to my name, good or bad, I take it all as under my life's banner. What are you doing?

Many people turned on me, I have not 'gotten away with it' as you wish to phrase it. The result of my actions was cast unto me regardless. But you're quite right, people shouldn't have their actions not held to their name, which is why I'm holding yours to your name, now isn't it?

If you stoop much lower I'm afraid you will become subterranean. You also appear to be projecting.

How so? Do elaborate. If someone sees my actions as wrong I'd hope they would tell me forthright and I can help us both come to an understanding.

Letting all this bullying get to your head now are we? Yes, I will enjoy my small circle of friends, because that's honestly all I have left in life, the few people who take the time to understand me and not judge me without listening to me. I value each and every one of the people who have stuck with me thus far, because I understand I am not a usual personality, and I am at times hard to understand.

I require a level of patience that is beyond most people, and I recognise this, which is why I do not think ill of the vast majority who look at me unkindly. But those who go out of their way to make my already pathetic life even more painful, I have no remorse for. You are cruel, short sighted and disillusioned to believe you are doing a good deed through attacking another.

I have to protect myself. You prey on my paranoia to try and force me into a panicked state where I trust no one, and lose everything I have in life. You wish for my death, because I don't think you truly understand just how close I am to the edge, and how hard I try in life to cling on despite the cruelty of people like you. I have never gone out of my way to hurt anyone unless they push me to such a point I snap, which is very rare. I am mentally unwell, as you also clearly are, but I try my best to still always do the right thing amidst my turbulent mental seas. If I do something wrong, I hope people would take the time to treat me as an equal, and talk to me honestly about their emotions, as I will speak honestly of my own.

Tama, you deserve this response. Learn from it. Because even while you press knives into me I will not fall to the same level of insult that you have so easily that it has occurred weeks after the incident.

Get help, and either talk to me properly, or leave me alone.

[historiesofabody]

Message from D. to S., 21 November 2019

D_ Thu, 21 Nov, 11:26 to S. So I fucked up the last time we met up. I wanted it to be a one off and the ending, because I forgot how toxic we were for each other, how much you piss me off (sorry but I mean I know I do the same to you) - I didn’t prepare myself for how angry I would feel, how much you’d disappoint me, how overwhelming seeing you again would feel, how much everything that happened means I can’t engage with you as an ordinary person, I could barely listen to you, I was on autopilot, I was distressed etc etc.

I know you’ll never say what I need you to say, and I can sense that it’s all been over for you for a very long time. I really have no investment in destroying your marriage or your life, no matter what I’ve already threatened. And you know I have no ability to do that anyway.

I’m going to be honest and say I was being pretty manipulative when I emailed you to meet up, I was kinda appealing to your ego when I was doing the whole ‘throwing myself on your mercy’ thing. I do appreciate that you wanted to make sure I knew you weren’t a threat to me. I do understand that now, otherwise I wouldn’t be sending this.

I don’t need to tell you that I’m sick of contacting you. You don’t have to pretend to care and if you don’t respond, that’ll be answer enough for me.

I think I’m getting in touch because I guess I want to know if you’d ever tell me your version of the story since you know you’ll never change my experience, so you might as well be honest.

I’ve tried so many ways of getting an answer out of you over the years but I’ve always been impeded by the fact I couldn’t accept what really happened and we both have tried to present ourselves as good and changed people.

Maybe you are good and changed and a better person than me.

But I’m tired of playing the good victim, of being articulate and restrained and good at boundaries. I’m shit at it. You know that by now.

So, in the spirit of our teenage selves who were very happy to discard all the rules and social conventions, I’d appreciate some insight.

As a sign of good faith, I’m saying ok, I get it, you’re not abusive to your wife or anyone else, you regret what you did to me, you’re sorry, you’ll never do it again.

I can acknowledge again that I was violent and abusive to you too even if you don’t feel the impacts of it. I can appreciate that our whole interaction since 2017 has been a head-fuck and traumatic for everyone involved and I’ve fucked it up continuously.

You don’t have to protect yourself and you know I have no real proof of anything that happened anyway.

I’ve already been brutally honest about how negatively I feel about you and I can’t take it back. I’m seriously exhausted of running round in my head over why what happened between us happened for the last two years and I don’t know how I’ve convinced you that I’m reflective or insightful about the whole thing because I’m obviously just fucked up about it.

I also can appreciate how I’ve flipped our dynamic and have been the one trying to control our interaction/hurt you/hold power. To be honest though I think that’s only fair? When we were together I was ill and dysphoric and vulnerable. Now I’m just angry and tired and so so sick of hearing myself think about this.

And I know I’ve never wanted to admit this but you got inside of my head a long time ago and I want you out, so if it has to be on your terms, ok.

When we met up you said you felt like you were a playing a game where the rules kept changing. That’s a fair enough comment. I have been conflicted about you for a long time and it shows. So I’m basically saying ok, you choose the rules. Say I need to stop contacting you and I will. Ask me a question and I’ll answer. I’m just done with being alone with it because I mean, it happened to you too?

The thing is I know it was never ever about words or language or explaining when it came to us. And as many times as I’ve genuinely thought, if we could just physically fight it out, that would fix it, I don’t know.

So rather than trying to control the situation or your response, I’m just going to say I don’t know / it’s up to you/ please help me out / I give up /what the fuck etc.

Putting the rules of however this narrative is meant to work aside, I’m leaving you the space to bring a mutual end to this in whatever way you see fit.

Obviously if you don’t reply, I’ll get the point.

[haamuressu]

heyhey 18-81

duude are you kidding that’s so many (THANK U) (also im gonna put this under a link bc no one likes scrolling long posts)

18: Are they a relative? (the question 17 was about my 1st phone contact)

I’m a proper family girl and my 1st phone contact is my mom. funnily enough also the person I send the most amount of messages/make the most amount of calls

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

”Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. “ - John F. Kennedy. (in other words: Nope)

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

a couple of hours ago lol

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

fuck no, I really hate the idea of marrying super young. I mean everyone else can live their life like they please but I don’t feel like settling down at 17 is the route I want to take. no sir

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

sure I have no regrets (that’s a blatant lie, I regret like 90% of my life but the last person I kissed and/or kissing them is surprisingly not on that list of regrets) 

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

nada, I don’t really wear bracelets

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

”you need to hold tight to whatever gets you through the night” from the true lives of the fabulous killjoys comic.

25: What’s on your mind?

I’m really sore allover because I’ve been working out again and my body is screaming for mercy so that, basically 

26: Do you have any tattoos?

two stick’n’pokes yea

27: What is your favorite color?

changes all the time but currently green or yellow probably. or black which is just always good

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

man idk realistically speaking probably the next time I’m drunk. that’s a habit of mine I really need to get rid of 

29: Who are you texting?

not anyone at the moment

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

I genuinely do not remember . probably ? probably not? I don’t...ok neither of us owns a couch so logically speaking it’s unlikely

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

I predicted my great grandmother’s death when I was eight even tho I had no way of knowing/guessing that she had passed. I know that this isn’t exactly what the question was implying but this came to mind and I thought I’d share

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

a couple and I really see no issue with that whatsoever, I’ve always had friends of all genders and it has not been a big deal for me

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

gosh I really hope that no one has that low standards seriously (bless their mislead heart if so)

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

I constantly hear that from people. brown eyes aren’t that common with finns so idk

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

I would probably be doing awkward finger guns at their general direction and/or figuring out a way to smoothly excuse myself from the situation bc who the hell wants to sit around and watch two people make out? the point here is that I wouldnt be upset

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

single, not ready to mingle 

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

a lot of questions related to that. but yes in case you haven’t figured that out

38: What do your friends call you?

just rea, sometimes my birth name or ressu, rebe or just..nerd

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

I’m get upset approximately fifteen times a day so yes probably

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

oh maaaaaaaaaaaan have I

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

arm

42: What is it from?

no comment lol

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

had a shit night at tuesday and threw that typical “I DONT WANNA BE HERE” temper tantrum about my school and campus lol 

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my grandma

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

yes dear god my combat boots are my everything

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

I might wear a beanie but I don’t really suit any kind of hats (fun fact I used to semi-ironically wear a fedora bc patrick stump was doing it in 2013. glad I got over that)

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

I have shaved my head but it wasn’t Bald bald and nah nope wouldn’t do it again, looking back I now realize that I looked like a fat egg

48: Do you make supper for your family?

rarely but sometimes and I usually fuck something up

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

I’m really sorry for anyone whose door doesn’t

50: Top 3 web-pages?

I’m a youtube addict and also this hellhole is kinda cool. what else..I mean there are so many man

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

my mom

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

better question rn would be “does anything on your body Not hurt?”

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

depends.  like seriously I’m simultaneously very skilled at throwing stuff over my shoulder and never looking but also I’m really talented at never getting over things

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

coffee, surprisingly 

55: How is your hair?

good, thanks for asking

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

answered!

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

dan and phil probably can so why not anyone else (sorry that was cringey but also...it’s true. fight me)

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

I was eight so unless I had an elementary school datemate which I don’t recall then proooobably not

59: Green or purple grapes?

greengreengreengreen

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

idk I’m really deprived of human touch come here and I’ll give you one right now

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

not really unless we’re speaking generally just life, then I’m gonna go with maybe a nice coffin underground yes thank u

I have answered 62-69!

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

nine atm

71: How many fingers do you have?

this is such an ominous question lmao ...all of them. and I’d like to keep them, thank you

72: What is your ringtone?

I have no idea my phone is always on mute. probably the standard one then 

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

18 fukc what the hell I’m going to be technically an adult that’s hilarious 

74: Where is your Mum right now?

asleep , I hope. in her bedroom a couple of walls behind me

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

error 303: too personal, not comfortable with processing data

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

nah I’ve mostly been alone 

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

a few of them but not very many

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

this some american shit I don’t understand...what does year seven mean...

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

nah altho I know a few people called Mikko which is probably like the finnish equivalent of mike

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

 I guess ?

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

in this economy? are you kidding, robert.

thank you sm for asking !!!