#But I do understand where the misconception about George's comes from | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jozor-johai · 8 months ago

Text

Dorne, Shown not Told: how Darkstar is more than his reputation.

Darkstar used to bug me as a character—not necessarily because of his edgy dialogue, but because the way he was written: he's not on-page for very long, so we're really told much more about him than we are shown anything.

I've seen this same complaint voiced before, and almost always it's brushed over as an inherent failure of Gerold as a character, or other arguments that presuppose a lack of faith in Martin.

I can understand why, without deeper analysis, some people try to make the Doylist argument that Darkstar must be lazy writing by Martin, something along the lines of "I have to introduce this guy quick, so here's a bunch of backstory told by a bunch of characters". Instead, though, I argue that this situation of being "told" so much about Darkstar is actually the Watsonian perspective of his character; it is Arianne who has been told so much about him, and we're experiencing her misconceptions.

I've come to realize that the feeling of being "told" about Darkstar, with a focus away from what we're "shown," is fully intentional. With this different approach to interpreting Darkstar's character, I've found that not only do I like him so much more as a character in-universe, but I also like him so much more as an element in George R R Martin's writing. Melisandre might be his "most misunderstood character," but I think Gerold Dayne must be up there too.

I don't understand why it took me so long to see it: ASOIAF is all about the way that information—or misinformation—spreads and changes the course of action and history. Of course this would be a theme to look out for. Once I started to dig more into this idea in relation to Darkstar, I realized just how prevalent this theme was in the Dornish arc, which is entirely about the way that people are told something, and the way that being told these things—even without evidence—has such an impact. That's what the companion post to this one is about.

If you've read that post already, and now I've got you on board to doubt the reputation that Darkstar has, and to doubt the story Arianne was told about him, this is the post where I rebuild Gerold's character from scratch, and convince you that he's actually an alright guy, a trustworthy one, and possibly even a true knight. Maybe, even, he's worthy of Dawn, and the title of "Sword of the Morning."

I'm sure I'm not the first to suggest this, as it's been so many years, but it's exciting to experience a moment of realization that makes me see the writing itself in a new light, so I wanted to share my thought process here.

2.0 Gerold Dayne, shown not told.

In this part, I attempt to look at Gerold Dayne as if I were Areo Hotah, not Arianne: to watch what he does and says, on page, rather than take anyone's word for it, and rather than interpret his actions against a prejudice that he is as dark and dangerous as Arianne thinks. This way, I want to see what kind of man Gerold Dayne actually shows us he is, through his actions and interactions, rather than who we're told he is.

Beyond just doubting Doran's story because I don't believe Doran to be trustworthy, here I'll be explaining why I think that once we get to know Darkstar as best as we can, maiming Myrcella doesn't even really sound like something he would do.

This is a long one too, like the other one, so the rest is after the cut

2.1 Early good impressions—by being early

We don't see very much of Darkstar on-page, so let's start with our very first impression of him, in the second paragraph of the chapter:

Arianne Martell arrived with Drey and Sylva just as the sun was going down, with the west a tapestry of gold and purple and the clouds all glowing crimson. The ruins seemed aglow as well; the fallen columns glimmered pinkly, red shadows crept across the cracked stone floors, and the sands themselves turned from gold to orange to purple as the light faded. Garin had arrived a few hours earlier, and the knight called Darkstar the day before.

We don't know when they arranged to meet, but I think there's room for a symbolic meaning to Arianne arriving just as the sun goes down. Symbolically, the day ending as soon as she arrives mirrors the way that her plan is going to end as soon as it begins.

In addition, it's a signature of Arianne's character this chapter, moving just slightly too slowly. In this way, Arianne is already more like her father than she wants to admit—remember the overripe oranges falling in The Captain of the Guards, or how Areo knew that Doran saying they would leave at dawn meant midday. Arianne is the same—she arrives to her own plan at dusk.

Even without that comparison, Arianne's late arrival is emblematic of her inability to structure a plan as carefully as she believes she can, which is also something that haunts her for the rest of his arc. Consider the meaning of this for her: she is the head of this plan, and yet she and her two companions are the last to arrive. Garin beats her to the rendezvous place by a few hours... and Darkstar is almost the opposite extreme. He gets there a whole day early.

Perhaps that's suspect, perhaps that's responsible; this alone is not enough to say. For a certainty, though, this clearly positions Darkstar as someone who is, say, the opposite of the "Late" Lord Walder Frey. He's a man who comes early, not late.

As the chapter continues, it's not the only time that Arianne lags carelessly while Darkstar vouches for a more responsible course of action, so keep this in mind. This passage sets the tone for the rest of the chapter.

2.2 What makes a man "Great"?

The next time we see Darkstar on page, we get his first line of dialogue and his first actual on-page action. He juts in while the others are talking about the storied hero who is Garin's namesake:

"Garin the Great," offered Drey, "the wonder of the Rhoyne." "That's the one. He made Valyria tremble." "They trembled," said Ser Gerold, "then they killed him. If I led a quarter of a million men to death, would they call me Gerold the Great?" He snorted. "I shall remain Darkstar, I think. At least it is mine own." He unsheathed his longsword, sat upon the lip of the dry well, and began to hone the blade with an oilstone.

There's a lot to unpack here for such a short passage. To begin with, we can interpret some of Darkstar's values from his additions to this conversation. He clearly has a certain pragmatism, because he chooses to see through the veneration that the stories have afforded "Garin the Great", and points out that his cause was actually poorly met. In this way, Gerold might come off like a humorless spoilsport, but we can also consider the fact that he's already learned some of the lessons that other characters, like Sansa, have been forced to face: reality does not match the songs, and not all "heroes" are good people.

Gerold also shows a concern for the ranks of the military. It's not about one man's veneration for him, it's about the success of the plan—and the survival of the men who act on it. This is actually the same concern for Dorne that Doran is obsessed with, at the end of The Watcher:

"Until the Mountain crushed my brother's skull, no Dornishmen had died in this War of the Five Kings," the prince murmured softly, as Hotah pulled a blanket over him. "Tell me, Captain, is that my shame or my glory?"

Doran has spent a lifetime hemming and hawing over this notion, unsure of whether to act or to wait, and choosing inaction over decision. By stark contrast, Gerold speaks with a casual certainty: "Garin the Great" was no good at all, because all his men died, and he lost. It might make him sound like a cynic, but Dayne knows what he believes in. Leading men to their death is no greatness at all.

2.3 Choosing one's own name

And, now knowing his thoughts on blind veneration, we might reinterpret his decision to invent his own nickname. Rather than grasping for approval from in songs (like Tywin's Rains of Castamere), his act of naming himself could be seen as a sign of honor, not blind pride.

"If I led a quarter of a million men to death, would they call me Gerold the Great?" He snorted. "I shall remain Darkstar, I think. At least it is mine own."

He does not believe in misjudged "bravery" for the sake of a title, and therefore is unlike so many others who we see across ASOIAF ready to die fighting in their desire for glory. Rather than dreaming of becoming immortalized in a song, Darkstar has no lust for public approval—he's given himself his own title, and means to prove himself against his own standard.

And at least it is his own. ASOIAF is a story where so much weight is put into names and epithets—Arya and Sansa losing their names and even their chapter titles, Brienne and Jaime fighting against the disparaging nicknames they are given. Here, Darkstar has already proven himself past all of those troubles with this one action—regardless of whatever names others should call him, or even remember him by, he shall go by this one, the name, and the fate, that he chose for himself.

2.4 Honing the blade

And then, immediately, Gerold starts caring for his blade.

He unsheathed his longsword, sat upon the lip of the dry well, and began to hone the blade with an oilstone.

Interestingly, the list of people who hone their blade on-page is surprisingly short. This shared action puts Gerold in league with the likes of Brienne:

I will, she promised his shade, there in the piney wood. She sat down on a rock, took out her sword, and began to hone its edge. I will remember, and I pray I will not flinch.

And also the likes of Yoren, Arya, Jon, Meera, Barristan, and Hotah himself; all of whom are dutiful if not also generally good-hearted. Ilyn Payne and Rakharo, care for their blades on-page, too, and though I'm not sure if they get enough story time to argue whether or not they are good-hearted, they are certainly pragmatic, skilled, and committed. Bronn, too, hones his blade on-page, and even if not good-hearted, he's these other positive qualities, the ones that make him likeable even in his scoundrel status: Bronn is skilled, pragmatic, dedicated to his craft, and even committed after his own fashion (he does name his adoptive child Tyrion, after all).

Better tying this to a morality case, the first time we see Sandor Clegane caring for his blade is after the Red Wedding, after he fully commits to taking in Arya. Similarly, Jaime is only seen caring for his blade in Feast and later, after he begins to have his own character turn towards searching for honor.

In stark contrast, Theon pulls out his blade to "sharpen" it before facing his father in Clash, but he only "gave it a few licks" with the whetstone ... what a total poser.

(It's a silly thing, but the most minor character we see sharpening a blade is a stray Blackwood... so you know these are the good guys, haha. Oswell Whent, too, which I don't make much of myself but I know others have.)

So, when we see Gerold Dayne start to sharpen his blade as his first on-page action, we might think: here is a man who is responsible, who is committed to duty, who believes in taking care of his person and his honor. Tying little actions like this to character qualities is the kind of thing GRRM does frequently.

2.5 Sober attitude

To a similar end, we also see that Gerold Dayne doesn't drink, preferring water with lemon.

Once the kindling caught, they sat around the flames and passed a skin of summerwine from hand to hand . . . all but Darkstar, who preferred to drink unsweetened lemonwater.

Which puts him in league with Brienne again:

"I would prefer water," said Brienne. "Elmar, the red for Ser Jaime, water for the Lady Brienne, and hippocras for myself." Bolton waved a hand at their escort, dismissing them, and the men beat a silent retreat.

As well as Stannis, paragon of "duty":

But not today, I think—ah, here's your son with our water." Devan set the tray on the table and filled two clay cups. The king sprinkled a pinch of salt in his cup before he drank; Davos took his water straight, wishing it were wine.

Again, this is the kind of quality that is associated with people who are attached to their sense of duty. (Note also that as Brienne feels increasingly lost during her search for Sansa, we see her increasingly drink wine. Roose, for his part, doesn't just drink wine, but wants wine sweetened with sugar and spices, which, like Littlefinger's minty breath, covers up his harsh reality).

So Gerold Dayne, in word and action, seems to have more in common with duty- and honor-bound characters, rather than being the heartless rogue which the Martells seem to believe he is.

2.6 Arianne's imagination versus Gerold's reality

Arianne asserts that Gerold would go so far as to exterminate an entire clan... but it's while she's fantasizing about ruling Sunspear with Myrcella as Queen:

Once I crown Myrcella and free the Sand Snakes, all Dorne will rally to my banners. The Yronwoods might declare for Quentyn, but alone they were no threat. If they went over to Tommen and the Lannisters, she would have Darkstar destroy them root and branch.

So we know what Arianne thinks he's capable of, but we also have heard Dayne's own thoughts that war for its own sake is not laudable. Would he really be the type to eradicate a whole family, like Arianne says? So far, he seems otherwise like an alright guy, and potentially even a true knight, so far: he takes care of his sword, he stays sober, he arrives early, he's not searching for glory from others, and he doesn't believe one should be rewarded for idiotic wars.

If I were to put this in a single quote—if I could create a single moment where I might show that Arianne's mental image of Darkstar is one way (hard, dangerous, mean) and his reality was a different way (dutiful, pragmatic, and good-hearted)—I might show it like this:

He has a cruel mouth, though, and a crueler tongue. His eyes seemed black as he sat outlined against the dying sun, sharpening his steel, but she had looked at them from a closer vantage and she knew that they were purple. Dark purple. Dark and angry. He must have felt her gaze upon him, for he looked up from his sword, met her eyes, and smiled.

Does he have a cruel mouth, and dark, angry eyes? Or does he have an easy smile? Arianne tells us the former... but so far, we are shown the latter.

And what does Gerold himself say with that "cruel tongue"? What counsel does he give, what courses does he suggest?

2.7 Gerold's bloody suggestion

Before Myrcella arrives, Gerold Dayne has the chance to offer counsel to Arianne. This moment comes directly following that moment where all of Arianne's other conspirators confide that they don't trust him, and that they don't need him for the plan. Immediately afterward, Darkstar returns and suggests that the plan isn't very good to begin with.

Dayne put a foot upon the head of a statue that might have been the Maiden till the sands had scoured her face away. "It occurred to me as I was pissing that this plan of yours may not yield you what you want."

While all of Arianne's friends have warned her of Darkstar, why is it that Darkstar is the only one to warn Arianne that this is a poor plan? It's important to remember that he's right, after all, because this plan gets thwarted, and as he goes on to say, was ill-concieved to begin with. If he can see it, why have none of Arianne's other allies considered this? Or, more interestingly, why have none of them told her?

This conversation continues, and notice how Arianne is never straightforward with Gerold about how she feels in response to his questioning. She says one thing, and then thinks another to herself. Already, we are being shown how we might be distrustful of what we are told—and again, Arianne has more in common with her father than she thinks. She knows how to speak carefully when she really has another objective.

"And what is it I want, ser?" "The Sand Snakes freed. Vengeance for Oberyn and Elia. Do I know the song? You want a little taste of lion blood." That, and my birthright. I want Sunspear, and my father's seat. I want Dorne. "I want justice." "Call it what you will. Crowning the Lannister girl is a hollow gesture. She will never sit the Iron Throne. Nor will you get the war you want. The lion is not so easily provoked." "The lion's dead. Who knows which cub the lioness prefers?" "The one in her own den." Ser Gerold drew his sword. It glimmered in the starlight, sharp as lies. "This is how you start a war. Not with a crown of gold, but with a blade of steel."

At first blush, it's easy to get caught up in the notion that Darkstar is simply offering to kill Myrcella for the ease of it all. We're told the whole chapter that Darkstar is a violent man, and here's the evidence.

Arianne herself only considers this interpretation, and it's how she remembers the conversation once she's imprisoned:

He wanted to kill her instead of crowning her, he said as much at Shandystone. He said that was how I'd get the war I wanted.

However, this conversation, though brief, is not so simple as that. Instead, while Gerold's advice to Arianne here at first seems unnecessarily violent, he's actually displaying wisdoms that we learn elsewhere in the story.

For a start, we see Gerold's disdain for vengeance for it's own sake—and his suggestion to Arianne that this quest of revenge and authority will not actually get her what she wants. In Gerold's words, she wants "a taste of lion's blood." He knows this song, as he says, as well as Ellaria, who gives an identical warning with far more impassioned language to the same audience ADWD The Watcher:

"Oberyn wanted vengeance for Elia. Now the three of you want vengeance for him. I have four daughters, I remind you. Your sisters. My Elia is fourteen, almost a woman. Obella is twelve, on the brink of maidenhood. They worship you, as Dorea and Loreza worship them. If you should die, must El and Obella seek vengeance for you, then Dorea and Loree for them? Is that how it goes, round and round forever? I ask again, where does it end?" Ellaria Sand laid her hand on the Mountain's head. "I saw your father die. Here is his killer. Can I take a skull to bed with me, to give me comfort in the night? Will it make me laugh, write me songs, care for me when I am old and sick?"

Gerold says it more simply, and more harshly: this quest for vengeance and lion's blood will not get you what you want.

He then tries another angle, saying that "Crowning the Lannister girl is a hollow gesture. She will never sit the Iron Throne. Nor will you get the war you want." This sounds, at first, like a complaint of the plan's futility, but he offers a suggestion of how to achieve said war instead: "Not with a crown of gold, but with a blade of steel."

I have to point out the metaphor at use in this moment:

Ser Gerold drew his sword. It glimmered in the starlight, sharp as lies.

A blade as sharp as lies—yet another allusion to this constant Dornish theme of lying and deadly misinformation. Seen from another perspective, we might put it another way: that lies are as deadly as a blade. This, too, is Doran's message: that the grass which hides the snake is just as deadly.

This too is Gerold's message, because in combination, his suggestion that crowning her is empty and to kill her is simpler sounds like an allusion to another wisdom we learn later in ADWD Tyrion I, given by Illyrio when Tyrion alights on the same bright idea as Arianne, to crown Myrcella:

"In Volantis they use a coin with a crown on one face and a death's-head on the other. Yet it is the same coin. To queen her is to kill her."

Gerold understands this, and he displays it in this conversation. His offer here, then, is to skip the trouble in between—the girl will never sit the Iron Throne in any case, so Arianne should just kill her and be done with it, and have your war that way.

Rather than a threat against Myrcella's life, the way Arianne remembers it, we might see this as a challenge: if Gerold sees that both acts end in Myrcella's death, and both in war, he's presenting Arianne reality of the lack of choice.

In a way, this is consistent with his earlier complaints about Garin the Great—was it worth it to make Valyria "tremble" at the cost of so many of his own? Gerold's question, though harshly put, makes Arianne face that question now, before they start off with the plans.

Like her father, though, Arianne defers the problem, preferring not to address it this night.

I am no murderer of children. "Put that away. Myrcella is under my protection. And Ser Arys will permit no harm to come to his precious princess, you know that."

Arianne makes the choice, but she does not say it aloud. Why? Because even she sees that it's contradictory to raise her up and expect her to live?

As we see so often with Arianne, she foolishly answers that it's not her responsibility. Myrcella may be under her protection, but Arianne relies on Ser Arys' action to keep it that way. Arianne tries to argue that the weight of this threat to Myrcella is not Arianne's burden to take, but rather Arys'.

Darkstar disagrees, pointing out the longstanding rivalry between the Dornish and the Marcher Lords.

"No, my lady. What I know is that Daynes have been killing Oakhearts for several thousand years." His arrogance took her breath away. "It seems to me that Oakhearts have been killing Daynes for just as long." "We all have our family traditions." Darkstar sheathed his sword. "The moon is rising, and I see your paragon approaching."

Finally, though, actions once again speak louder than words. Rather than pull his sword here against Arys, like he was just threatening to do, he sheathes his sword when he spots Arys, obeying Arianne's command. So far, whatever he's said, Gerold is still committed to following Arianne's wishes.

His threats about Daynes killing Oakhearts has another layer of meaning, though, in this complete context: Daynes have been killing Oakhearts, yes, but it's not just Daynes who wouldn't blink at killing a Marcher, it's all of the Dornish—as Arys is so intimately aware of in his one chapter.

As much as Arianne is dodging responsibility, she's also right that Arys is the final obstacle in anyone's way should they wish to do harm to Myrcella. Note, though, that despite the story Doran and Arianne later tell the Sand Snakes, it is not Darkstar who slays Arys—it's Areo Hotah. If we say that actions speak louder than words, hear this: Gerold sheathes his sword when Arys approaches, and it is Doran (through Areo) who kills Myrcella's most leal protector.

Given all the trouble Doran later goes to in an attempt to smooth over Arys' death, Gerold is probably right here that a dead Arys means war. Once again, Gerold is a pragmatic thinker, in theory. In my opinion, despite the cruelty of his suggestion, his conversation about the death of Myrcella is a reality check, not a call for wanton violence.

2.8 Gerold's good counsel and care

Later comes the second time where Arianne lags carelessly... and here, Gerold steps in to give Arianne good counsel.

Arianne had hoped to reach the river before the sun came up, but they had started much later than she'd planned, so they were still in the saddle when the eastern sky turned red. Darkstar cantered up beside her. "Princess," he said, "I'd set a faster pace, unless you mean to kill the child after all. We have no tents, and by day the sands are cruel."

Here, contradicting the stories of Gerold Dayne as a cruel man, Darkstar seems to show more direct concern for Myrcella's wellbeing than any of the other plotters. Arianne—like her father—moves to slow, and Gerold wants to make sure that the girl isn't killed. He's not just pragmatic in theory, he can also be pragmatic and considerate when it comes to the young girl with them.

Here, also, we see that Gerold does not actually mean the girl harm. The accusation that Darkstar slashed Myrcella implies this narrative where Darkstar took advantage of the chaos to finally take his chance to kill the girl and make good on his threat. If that were the case, then here Darkstar could have simply said nothing, and let the girl suffer or even die from the heat. Instead, he speaks up in order to spare Myrcella from the sand's cruelty.

2.9 Gerold's opinion of Arthur Dayne

With all of this context, I'll finally take a look at Gerold's opinion of Arthur Dayne.

As she led the princess to the fire, Arianne found Ser Gerold behind her. "My House goes back ten thousand years, unto the dawn of days," he complained. "Why is it that my cousin is the only Dayne that anyone remembers?" "He was a great knight," Ser Arys Oakheart put in. "He had a great sword," Darkstar said. "And a great heart."

He clearly loves the Dayne house, but seems to have less respect than most for Arthur. Many and more have taken this to be a sign of petty envy, that Darkstar is questioning Arthur's skill at swordplay, perhaps in comparison to his own.

But consider the quote another way: we know from his opinion of "Garin the Great" that Gerold resists the idea of blindly idolizing heroes only because they have become great in the telling. This newer hero, Arthur, is no more special to him. What has he actually done, not what stories have been told of him?

Once again, this is a return of our theming: being shown, not told. Gerold is quick to resist the allure of the songs of Arthur Dayne—to Gerold, there are plenty of other Daynes just as special, or perhaps even more so. This is not a lack of love for his house, nor for honor and glory—quite the opposite. Like with choosing his own name, Darkstar wants to create his own context to see Arthur in, as part of a ten thousand year old lineage of great Daynes (ha) and not some special, magic knight.

Perhaps Gerold Dayne is pointing out that there is more to a knight than having a sword; perhaps he is condemning the idea of equating "swordplay" with "greatness".

What we hear about Arthur is more often than not about his prowress with a sword, but consider the context in which Arthur Dayne was brought up in this chapter. When Myrcella brings him up, his reputation is marred by the fact it's own existence:

"There was an Arthur Dayne," Myrcella said. "He was a knight of the Kingsguard in the days of Mad King Aerys."

Not the most good-hearted of details to remember him by, truth be told.

I suggest that this passage instead serves to suggest that Gerold has a stricter sense of what is valorous than most. Even the great, seemingly infallible Arthur Dayne was a sword in defense of the Mad King. Does serving the Mad King still make for a "great knight"? Or only a "great sword"?

Of course, there's another interesting aspect to this quote: despite his disregard for the particular qualities of Arthur, Gerold is more than willing to acknowledge the greatness of the sword Dawn. I'll get into that at the end.

2.10 Gerold sues for peace

Finally, in his final appearance on-page, we get a last word from Gerold Dayne, who, this time, says exactly what Arianne is thinking... when she, again, is too slow to act, and is unable to say anything herself.

You reckless fool, was all that Arianne had time to think, what do you think you're doing? Darkstar's laughter rang out. "Are you blind or stupid, Oakheart? There are too many. Put up your sword."

Darkstar suggests to all that they surrender. He suggests they put up their swords. Yet again, this is a consistent characterization for Darkstar: a man who speaks against the honor of leading others in a death charge, a man who is a sober thinker, a man who plans to arrive early, and a man who considers heavily the consequences of the actions at hand, especially when they end in the death of a young girl.

After all this, I don't think it sounds like Darkstar to make a wild, reckless, opportune grasp for Myrcella's life, no matter whatever Doran says. Instead, Gerold Dayne has all the trappings of a dutiful knight, and even his brusque edges come from a certain brutal realism, not a sense of jilted pride. He may even be a good and caring man at times.

3.0 My predictions for TWOW: GRRM's next moves

I used to really not like Darkstar. I don't mind him being a little cringe, because this whole series, as well written as it is, still has plenty of pulpy 80s underpinnings which I love just as much as the highbrow stuff. I can handle a little melodrama, fine... but why is Darkstar so flat, I wondered. It felt so incredibly—uncharacteristically—clumsy to have this hurried introduction of a character, and have everyone in the chapter rush to tell the reader how dangerous he is, just so he could do the "dangerous guy" thing and run off to become the next MacGuffin of Dorne.

That is, if everything, or anything, that we were told about him is true.

If we understand that not all we're told is true, then GRRM hasn't actually spent a whole chapter telling without showing. Instead, he's been consistently playing with the same notions of actual reality vs. stories and lies that the rest of the Dornish plot revolves around (and the rest of the series, for that matter, but I'm staying focused here).

In addition, all of that telling we got about Gerold Dayne wasn't at all for the purpose of giving us a quick, surface level introduction to the character (which makes sense, because George is otherwise so good with character). Instead, all that telling is part of a larger, longer plot about Doran's scheming and lying, and Arianne's own susceptibility to Doran's stories.

Finally, and most of all, it all sets up one of GRRM's favorite things to do: a subversion of a character in a twist that involves a sudden change of perspective.

If Arianne and Doran have spent 4 (or 5, including TWOW previews) chapters now telling us what a nasty guy Gerold Dayne is, won't it be a shock once he's granted Dawn rightfully and is named the next Sword of the Morning? What's even better is that, looking back, it will be clear to see how much he isn't a nasty guy—he's actually a pretty good candidate, dutiful, smart, aware of the consequences. He's the kind of guy to take care of himself, keeping his mind and blade sharp, and to be considerate of those lesser than him, as with Myrcella or Garin's army. He may not be a nice guy, but being nice and kind are not always the same. That character of Darkstar, the knight worthy of Dawn, was there all along—except that it was all obfuscated under Arianne internal narration and Doran's repeated lying.

After all, he is of the night... which sounds super edgy, but is foreshadowing too. What comes after the night? The Morning.

Being "of the night" might not be Darkstar being an antihero, but instead being anti- heroes, he's against the concept of the overinflated hero. Like Sandor Clegane, who starts to seem more and more a true knight despite despising knights, Darkstar may be set up to take on a legendary mantle, like Sword of the Morning, despite his utter disdain for legendary heroes, like Ser Arthur and Garin the Great.

And actually, I suspect that Darkstar is quite familiar with Dawn already—after all, despite his cool words about Ser Arthur, Gerold Dayne does seem to recognize the greatness of Dawn. I expect that he's seen its value for himself.

Gerold is the type of man to take himself seriously ... and while that's very easy to make fun of from a reader's perspective, it's a very admirable quality in a knight. It's the same trajectory Jaime has been on: everything used to be a joke to him, but no longer: Jaime is learning how to shed that shield of humor and to take himself and his honor seriously. Can we begrudge Ser Gerold the same?

Rather than hunting down a villain, Areo Hotah, Obara, and Balon Swann are on Doran's truth-suppression mission. For after all, as Lady Nym pointed out, loose ends make for exposed lies. If I replace some of the names of her cautionary message from The Watcher:

If Gerold Dayne is alive, soon or late the truth will out. If he appears again, Doran Martell will be exposed as a liar before all the Seven Kingdoms. He would be an utter fool to risk that.

And so Doran sends his unbeatable Hotah, with his massive and lethal axe that already killed one Kingsguard and might well kill another. How is Gerold Dayne going to match up against that?

Well, he'll have a great sword.

#jozor thoughts #asoiaf meta #asoiaf analysis #Doran Martell and Gerold Dayne #valyrianscrolls #twow speculation #darkstar #Dorne Told not Shown

54 notes · View notes

voted4exile · 2 years ago

Text

understanding, not forgiveness

/dsmp rp

The biggest misconception about Tommy’s Last Stream is that c!Tommy forgave c!Dream. This never happened!

From the moment he steps into the main cell, c!Tommy does everything to keep both c!Dream and c!Punz from leaving. From challenging the two, to taunting c!Dream, to questioning his motives, to asking for his perspective of the server, c!Tommy tries many things. It’s clear that he’s not really interested or listening to what c!Dream or c!Punz has to say. All he cares about is stalling for c!Tubbo.

Tommy: K. I’ve muted. I just need to stall. I just need to stall them. [19:09]

Tommy: What do I say? Just to keep him here. What would keep him here? What would keep them here? Um… [19:58]

Tommy: Come on, Tubbo, faster, Tubbo. [25:40]

Tommy: Come on, Tubbo, come on, Tubbo, come on, Tubbo. [28:38]

After the last time he quietly calls for c!Tubbo, c!Dream goes on about how he was pushed to hit back, how he did evil things, and how c!Tommy could have been stuck in limbo forever. But c!Dream has the means to bring people back, and he doesn’t want life to be temporary.

That’s when c!Tommy chooses to discard items in the lava to put his armor away. He faces c!Dream and apologizes.

Tommy: You know what, Dream? I’m sorry. Because you’re right. Maybe you were having more fun. Maybe you were happy before I joined. But you can’t control who comes in and out. And- And- You know, you can have all these little areas, and that’s fun, but we’re all in this Dream SMP together. But you spent your entire life trying to get power, and before this revive book, you were the same alright. Before you had this power that you’ve always craved and you’ve got now, alright. You were the same old. I just don’t know how you can live with yourself. [30:25]

This apology might be genuine or it might be another tactic to stall. Just two minutes ago he was asking for c!Tubbo to hurry, so it’s more likely that he is saying whatever he can.

Not too long after, c!Dream kills c!Tommy, sending him to limbo. c!Tommy witnesses c!Dream’s first moments on the Dream SMP. When he is revived, he comes back, reeling from the pain. But once he gathers his bearings, he tells c!Dream about the vision he had. A vision of a happier c!Dream with c!George and c!Sapnap, living a simple life. c!Tommy realizes c!Dream wasn’t always evil and that what he really wants is something simple.

Dream: Well, we can go- We can get back- back to that. Once we understand the server, once we understand how life works and everything, then we- everyone will be- Y’know, they’ll be…

Tommy: That’s why you’re doing this, isn’t it? You just want it to be simple. *scoffs* Dream. I thought you were complicated. I thought- God, I thought you were a villain, Dream. I thought you were. [38:32]

This isn’t c!Tommy forgiving him, and c!Tommy is not saying c!Dream is innocent. He makes it clear that what c!Dream is doing is still wrong.

Tommy: I’m saying I think I understand you. And I don’t- I don’t think we’ve ever had a moment, since I joined, of being on the same side, the same page. But Dream. That’s okay. But this? Your way of doing this, of having to kill everyone else? That’s- You- That’s not right. This. This! A fucking torture trap! A Saw trap! Where one person has to survive? That’s not okay. But this, Dream. This- What you have inside you? You just want friends. Aw, me too, man. I get that. I get that! [40:26]

c!Tommy is being genuine when he says he understands c!Dream. It’s no longer about stalling. Unlike before, he has stopped calling for c!Tubbo to hurry up. He’s actively listening to c!Dream. He even tells c!Dream to “Speak up” when c!Punz talks over him. Most importantly, he actually asks c!Dream to call off the plan so they can leave the prison.

Tommy: It’s not too late, man. You don’t need this. This life of prison, of killing, of torture, you could- You can stop this now. And we can leave this prison. [42:08]

This moment best supports that c!Tommy is being genuine. He is offering c!Dream an exit from both his plan and the prison itself. It’s no longer about keeping c!Dream in the targeted nuke zone.

Dream: Why can’t it just be simple again? Why can’t it just be like that forever? We can live forever, and we can- everyone can be… friends. And… I feel like it just- everything got- just so jumbled.

Tommy: Along the way... I’m with you, man. I’m with you.

Dream: Is it not too late? We can work together, and we can figure out-

Tommy: *hears sirens* Oh no. [43:25]

Unfortunately, the two have reached an understanding far too late. The nuke is about to hit, and c!Tommy apologizes.

Tommy: I’m sorry.

Dream: You’re sorry for what? You’re sorry for what, Tommy?! Punz, I think we need to get out of here.

Punz: Yeah, yeah. We- We gotta- We gotta fucking go. We have to fucking go.

Tommy: Guys. It’s too late. It’s the whole prison. I just- I didn’t-

Punz: You’re fucking lying.

Tommy: I didn’t know. [44:50]

c!Tommy is sorry because it’s too late for them to escape the nuke that he had c!Tubbo launch. He didn’t know there was another option, that he and c!Dream could actually come to an understanding.

Not once does c!Tommy forgive c!Dream for what he has done. Understanding is not forgiveness. This wasn’t redemption either. What c!Tommy was offering c!Dream was an opportunity to make things right. But it was far too late.

#dream smp #dsmp #c!tommy #c!dream #tommyinnit #dreamwastaken #dsmp finale #discduo #c!discduo #disc duo #my posts #analysis #this has been said multiple times before #but I wanted to break it down and share supporting quotes #and apparently dream himself has spoken #confirming it was only understanding #I wrote this all last night #so I'm posting it anyway

244 notes · View notes

duhragonball · 2 years ago

Note

32 episode in out of a 64 episode run and the closest we've gotten to Super Saiyan 4 is butt-pliers.

I'm just... trying to fathom this. Wasn't Super Saiyan 4 one of the few things Toriyama actually gave the crew that made GT? Why did they take forever getting there and waste all that time on completely asinine shit? They literally turned Goku's (at the time) strongest transformation into an asspull when they had plenty of time to devote to Giru saying his own name and Tuffle smirking.

I can't wrap my head around the fact that some people say this show was better than Super. Super had some low, low lows, but I genuinely think I'd rather watch any episode of that than GT. I knew it was created largely to keep the DB content machine churning out a new episode in that prime time slot, but I hadn't expected it to be so... obvious about it. Like it's not actually trying to be anything more or less than 20ish minutes of television. Say what you will about the Star Wars Prequels, George clearly didn't make them because he wanted more money. The story was poorly executed and had some major flaws, but it was a genuine story with a beginning, middle and end and all the other stuff a story needs. Your section on great "ideas", poorly executed only further cements the fact that GT has no ideas, and on the rare occasion they do it's utterly squandered in favor of Morishita's episodic structure. GT feels like they started working on each episode the day after the previous one aired, and frankly I wouldn't be shocked if that was the case.

Sorry for the rambling ask, but it's really incredible that halfway through this show they still can't do better than the Roaming Lake. Because as bland as it was, it was at least a story.

I need to clear up a misconception here. Akira Toriyama did not design Super Saiyan 4. It was, in fact, designed by Katsuyoshi Nakatsuru, who was one of the main character designers for the Dragon Ball anime franchise.

Later on, Akira Toriyama did a drawing of Nakatsuru's design, and this is probably what led people to assume that it originated with Toriyama.

In fact, the drawing was included in the GT DVD box set, along with a message from Toriyama about the show, where he praises Nakatsuru's uncanny ability to imitate his own style, to the point where even he, Toriyama, had trouble remembering which designs were Nakatsuru's and which were his own.

What Toriyama did contribute to GT was mostly used at the very beginning: The logo for the show, the new looks for the main characters, designs for some of the machinery (most notably Giru and the GT Ship), and he drew some images of Goku, Trunks and Pan on some alien worlds, which probably helped inspire a few of the early episodes.

And Toei didn't waste any time using that stuff, because they knew which way their bread was buttered. I'm certain they would have loved to have even more input from Toriyama than what they got, because they knew he was the driving force behind the franchise's success. But he was finished with the manga, so his limited contributions to GT were all they were going to get.

The thing you have to understand about Super Saiyan 4 is that it was part of Plan B. Plan A was the Grand Tour, with Goku, Trunks and Pan roaming the universe hunting the Dragon Balls. But according to Kozo Morishita, that plan fell through when they decided the scripts just weren't working. So they changed the focus to a battle-oriented plot, and that's how we got into the Baby Saga. And of course, it wouldn't do for Goku to get a new transformation right away, so it took a while for him to get there.

Afterward, SSJ4 kind of became the symbol for the GT brand. They put it on the cover of the DVD set I bought. SSJ4 Goku was on Volume 1, even though he doesn't appear in that form until the very last episode on the set. Then they put SSJ4 Gogeta on the cover of Volume 2, even though he only shows up for half an episode near the end. But come on, what else were they gonna put on those covers? Giru? Rage Shenron? That pervy space deer? People love SSJ4, and GT's the only anime where you can get it.

If they had it to do over again, maybe SSJ4 would have been given the focus from the very start, kind of like how Dragon Ball Super remained squarely focused on the different "godly" Super Saiyan forms. But GT never had a focus beyond "more Dragon Ball cartoons in the golden timeslot". They kept changing the plans until they ran out of show. So even when they managed to do something right, it usually wound up being too little, too late.

This is why the "good ideas, bad execution" defense never made sense to me. I literally saw someone on Twitter use that very line today. I think they said "concepts" instead of "ideas", but same thing. I mean, if you like Super Saiyan 4, fine, but it doesn't make sense to praise the show and then say the execution was bad. The execution is the thing you're watching. That's like eating a really lousy cake and saying it was still okay because the cook had some good ideas about baking. No, that's not how this works.

A lot of GT's success seems to stem from the willingness of fans to overlook its flaws. At the end of the day, it still features a ton of popular characters, and it resembles DBZ closely enough that it can be a serviceable continuation of the property. I have to assume the "asspull" scene just doesn't bother some fans the way it bugs you or me. I'm not sure anyone finds it hilarious or anything, but they don't find it insulting, and that might be enough to earn GT a free pass in the hearts of a lot of the fandom.

And that may have been the guiding principle for making the series as well: Just get it done, because it's better for everyone to have some Dragon Ball on TV than none at all.

#ask duhragonball #2023dbapocryphaliveblog

7 notes · View notes

gffa · 3 years ago

Note

Btw I only got sucked into the prequels fandom a couple months ago, and I was super fortunate to have found your blog rather early on... It meant I quickly realized I had some misconceptions and internalized weirdness from just western / Christian society and growing up on Legend's New Jedi Order stuff. (It's not that I ever disliked the Jedi, but I definitely didn't understand the difference between love and attachment and was otherwise mostly apathetic about them as a Culture... If they weren't Mara Jade, Jaina Solo, Corran Horn, or Luke Skywalker, I didn't particularly care about them at all).

Anyway my point is that I'm super thankful your blog came up soon because I am now very firmly in the Pro Jedi camp and am glad I only got a minimal amount of sw fandom toxicity about the Jedi before having my eyes gently opened to reality.

Best part is tho, I had a friend ask me a week ago for some star wars information. Her brother apparently was assigned to write about the differences between the Jedi, Grey Jedi, and Sith in a class about differing religions and ideologies (which... In and of itself is actually a rather fascinating concept for a school paper). Anyway I had fun linking a whole bunch of your meta posts and going "Respect the Jedi, they're absolutely wonderful! Grey Jedi aren't actually a thing - it's just video game mechanics and misconceptions! Sith are evil and if you write them as anything but I will hard-core raise eyebrows at you and want to throw hands!!" And such... Probably went more than a little overboard but she was appreciative.

My point in all this word vomit (dang my adhd is really prevalent rn isn't it) is that I wanted to offer some encouragement because I've learned the pro Jedi camp is a lot smaller than it should be and maybe sometimes feels like it's the same 20 people on tumblr? Your collective efforts as the Jedi Defense Squad are successful and I know that, personally, my life will forever be changed for the better. Bless y'all and keep fighting the good fight!

You didn’t even know it was my birthday yesterday and yet you sent me once of the nicest things I could get despite that! I admit that the pro-Jedi corner of fandom feels very small sometimes, especially because Tumblr is generally the only place where we’ve gotten together (COME HELP ME LOVE THE JEDI ON TWITTER, YOU GUYS, I NEED PEOPLE TO HAVE SILLY LOVE BOMB FESTS WITH), that sometimes it can feel very overwhelming the second I step one inch off my dash, but also I wouldn’t trade this corner for anything. I hope that I can not just explain why I love the Jedi and why I see them as being perfectly in balance with the core themes of Star Wars, but that I can help make being a pro-Jedi fan a fun experience. I hope I can make meta about them interesting, jokes about them fun to play with, the pain of their slaughter and the genocide of their culture dig into our feelings the way the best of Star Wars does. If I can help kindle love for the Jedi in you (and I am certain I did not do so alone, there are so many really incredible people, every time I get to reblog Jedi content from more than a dozen people now I get this shimmer of joy in my soul, I didn’t always have that! I get to reblog art and fic and essays! people have such good thoughts and incredible ways with words! they’re coming up with adorable skits and AU scenarios! so many in this fandom work so hard to give us these delightful things and I am so overjoyed to get to reblog them), then I have passed on what was given to me and that makes it worth it. I am further delighted to help provide framework for writing papers about the Jedi, because one of the things that surprised me when I first started really digging into those Lucas interviews and behind the scenes/making of books is: Yeah, Star Wars is often silly, but it has themes and George Lucas stuck to them. He thought about his mythology and what messages he wanted to convey, and whatever things he tweaked along the way, the core themes have always remained consistent. Star Wars is often imperfect, no creator is ever going to be perfect, but Lucas knew he wanted to tell a story about letting go and about good vs evil and choosing the light made the world work better and that we should care about each other and our communities, not just break the rules and do whatever we felt like, that you’re supposed to love people but you have to accept that life is impermanent, because you’ll suffer if you try to hold on too tightly. And everything of his Star Wars stuck to those themes and I really, really like those themes. My life has been made better by getting to know the story of Star Wars and getting to meet so many kind, thoughtful fans and getting messages like this, and so please know that this is incredibly uplifting and encouraging. To be able to spark joy in someone else about these silly space psychic wizards, to be able to share that, it makes the whole Being A Fan Of A Thing a great experience.

#jedi order #lumi.txt

136 notes · View notes

wonda-cat · 4 years ago

Text

Misconceptions About Tommyinnit’s Character That Genuinely INFURIATE Me

Since the recent events following the second L’Manburg Festival and subsequent war, I’ve seen many, many hot takes surrounding the nature of Tommyinnit’s character on the SMP. Some of which annoyed me to the point where I felt compelled to sit down and actually write this. I’m going to only be highlighting the most common complaints or questions I’ve seen, one by one, in hopes of providing a better understanding of Tommy’s character for anyone interested. (I also briefly discuss Techno and Tubbo’s characters as well.)

If you’ve said similar things to what I’m going to be discussing below, please know that it’s perfectly understandable how you’d come to these conclusions. Some of these aspects of Tommy’s character are not always obvious; especially if being watched from another streamer’s POV. This may become quite lengthy, so bear with me for now.

“Tommy’s motives are all over the place. He can’t decide whether he wants the discs back or not.”

Tommy is actually one of the most motivationally consistent characters on the entire Dream SMP. Even Techno, someone completely confident in their ideals, does more motivational flipping than Tommy. From the very start of the story, Tommy has always cared for three things; L’Manburg, Tubbo, and his music discs. However, him caring for something is not itself a motivation.

Surprisingly enough, his motivation isn’t even just, ‘Get my discs back,’ like many assume it is. Tommy’s one true motivation, since the end of the Independence War, has always been, ‘Keep things the way they are now.’

Tommy’s one fatal flaw is that he is resistant to change and refuses to let go of the past. This is seen through all of his actions and words; in all conflicts involving him. This flaw is the drive to all of Tommy’s mistakes. Burning down George’s house, an action which resulted in him getting exiled, was done out of a desire to pull pranks the way he used to before the first war. His friendship with Ranboo started because Tommy said he reminded him of Tubbo, back before he was President.

Tommy still talks highly of Wilbur because he chooses to remember him as the wise, kind mentor who cared for him. This motive is the reason he defends L’Manburg so fiercely; it’s his memory of a better past. This is why he holds grudges more often than any other character; especially refusing to forgive Techno after he killed Tubbo during the Manburg Massacre.

It’s why Tommy falls under extreme distress whenever Tubbo or Quackity tell him that something will never be the same again. This motivation is entirely formed from an underlying desire for peace and comfort, something Tommy has been denied since being forced into a life wrought with war and death. To accept change, to Tommy, is painful and terrifying. But he will only ever truly be happy when he finally learns to let go.

“Why do the discs matter so much to Tommy? They’re not actually worth anything.”

Tommy’s discs are much more than just any ordinary pair of music discs. They were never important for their material worth, but for what Tommy was willing to sacrifice in order to keep them. Tommy is entirely what gives the discs their value.

Tommy also commonly operates under the Sunk-Cost Fallacy, wherein he’s invested too much of himself into something to just abandon it, even if it’s causing him problems. This mentality is a huge piece of what keeps him tied to both L’Manburg and to his discs. He’s sacrificed too much at this point to simply let them go. If he admits the discs are worthless, then he’s admitting that he wasted all this time and effort, just to keep them.

The discs also act as a constant source of hope for Tommy because they are directly tied with his motivations as a character. They’re something he’s had since the very beginning. They’re something he used to listen to with Tubbo on their shared bench.

To Tommy, they symbolize a life before war, filled with comfort and peace. They are a love letter to his country and his late mentor Wilbur. They are a physical representation of Tubbo’s companionship. They are the only thing, besides L’Manburg and his best friend, that gives him the hope that he can one day return things to the way they used to be.

This ideal, paired with Tommy’s refusal to let go, has left him ruthlessly pursuing the things he’s lost. Not his music discs, but his peace and comfort, his friendship, his country, his mentor Wilbur, and his life before war.

In his desperation to hold onto his prized possession, it has only hurt and pushed away the people that love him. If Tommy continues to ignore this reality, while still refusing to resolve his major flaw entwined with it, he will lose all that the discs had once stood for. He will lose his country, then his friend Tubbo, and then he will lose himself.

“Tommy never grows or learns from his mistakes. This makes him a badly written character.”

Characters do not have to constantly learn from their actions to be well-written. Tommy is one of the best examples of this. The fact that his growth is infrequent is the entire point of his character; it’s completely stemmed from his fatal flaw.

By addressing himself, he would be accepting change, something that terrifies him; something he stubbornly resists until he is absolutely forced to confront it. Contrary to popular belief, Tommy knows when he makes mistakes, but he pretends to be ignorant as to avoid facing reality. He digs his head in the sand despite knowing better, puppeteering the person he used to be during happier times, now gone.

In spite of his infrequent growth, the idea that Tommy still hasn’t learned anything isn’t quite correct either. Tommy, as of the last three plot streams, has shown incredible character development. By giving up his discs again, he had finally demonstrated that Tubbo is more important to him than his possessions. Speaking as a makeshift leader, he put aside his issues with others to rally them together against a common threat, something which Tommy had never been able to do before. He owned up to all of his mistakes openly, apologizing to everyone he’s ever hurt in one place.

He apologized to Tubbo after they were reunited and came to terms with the fact that Tubbo was forced to exile him without choice, finally forgiving him. He was kind to Sapnap and learned how to be his friend after months of bitter rivalry. And these are only a few examples. This isn’t to say Tommy has overcome/fixed everything because he clearly hasn’t. There are still major things Tommy needs to work through that remain unaddressed, the biggest being his complicated relationship with Technoblade.

“Tommy only cares about himself. He does everything in his power to be the hero, always putting himself in the center of attention, especially during Doomsday.”

Tommy, since the start of the L’Manburg War for Independence, has never set out to be a hero. Not once. He may fall into the role of the protagonist, but his identity as a hero was pushed onto him by others. Giving up the discs was his only option during the Independence War.

So when Wilbur called him a hero for it, Tommy said he didn’t feel like he was. During the November 16th War, Tommy again said he didn’t feel like a hero because he had lost what he thought was everything at the time. During exile, Tommy certainly knew he was no hero. And upon reuniting with Tubbo, he admitted to feeling like the farthest thing from it. That he’d hurt everyone and all he wanted to do now was fix it.

The day before Doomsday, Tommy only took a leadership position because no one else was willing to, filling the role for Tubbo, who was crumbling under pressure. He had no choice but to try to bring everyone together, or fight alone. Most viewers never saw this during Doomsday, but before the battle, almost everyone who had vowed to fight alongside L’Manburg had abandoned them the very next day. They were convinced it was going to be destroyed either way, no matter what they did, so they chose not to see it through to the end; ultimately leaving Tommy and those who remained to fight a losing battle, alone.

After about a third of the way through the battle, it became clear to everyone that they could do nothing to win. One by one, everyone stopped fighting and stood by to watch their country go up in smoke. Tommy was the only person on the battlefield who refused to stand down and give up. And so he took over the role as leader again, trying his best to keep them alive, to keep Tubbo hopeful; to keep fighting, no matter what.

However, what most people don’t realize, is that this isn’t Tommy trying to be a hero or force himself into the spotlight. This is Tommy trying to convince himself to keep going. Because whenever things start to look hopeless, Tommy simply chooses to ignore them. He puts on a happy face and soldiers through it because that’s all he knows how to do. Tommy, at his core, is someone who wants peace through stagnation. He doesn’t want to fight, although causing the occasional friendly conflict is how he finds fun. He doesn’t set out to purposely hurt others.

Tommy may come across as self-centered, but this is because he is an extremely extroverted character. He finds energy and joy in the attention of others, both good and bad. It’s why he’s always seeking the approval of others and, oftentimes, will destructively insert himself into another person’s life in order to find it.

Out of every character in the story, Tommy is the most drawn to praise and positive reinforcement. He is constantly seeking out mentors and friends because Tommy needs someone else to help him feel confident in his own identity and abilities. It’s why Wilbur was such a positive influence on him. His boisterous confidence has always been a front because if anyone were to actually hurt him, he knows it will make his self-esteem crumble instantly.

This is part of why Dream’s manipulation was so effective against him. By isolating him, he’s left without energy and looking to another person’s guidance. Tommy outwardly may seem independent and rude, but just under the skin, he’s unconfident and lost when he’s by himself. Tommy will only grow from this flaw when he finds his own identity and inner confidence; when he finally learns to be okay with being alone.

“Tommy goes to the festival solely to get his disc back and then tells Tubbo to give it away immediately after. That doesn’t make any sense.”

Before the screaming match between the two friends during the second L’Manburg Festival, Tommy had been in exile, manipulated by Dream for long enough to lose his will to carry on. It is because of him that Tommy’s reality becomes distorted, long after fleeing from his abuser. This mangling of ideals leads Tommy to subconsciously believe that L’Manburg and Tubbo are unsalvageable.

Therefore, the only thing he has hopes of retrieving are his discs, which are easier to manage than the latter two things. And so Tommy does reprehensible things at the behest of Techno in a vain hope of getting them back, going so far as to kidnap and torture for them. This ultimately culminates in a confrontation between the ex-friends, quickly turning violent. It is in this violence that we see Tommy has sunk to his absolute lowest point in his journey.

Swinging his axe, he nearly kills his friend as he delivers a string of words that cause the room to silence instantly. He says the discs were always worth more than his friend. Within the quiet of the room, Tommy is forced to reflect on everything he’s done. How he kidnapped and tortured Connor. How he accidentally drowned Fundy. How he traumatized Ranboo.

And now he’s hurt Tubbo, the one person he has always sought to protect; someone he vowed to never hurt. This realization causes Tommy to break. He’s so ashamed of himself that he can’t look at anyone. Tommy knows now that he is worse than anyone he’s ever hated.

With pain in his voice, he tries and fails to apologize to Tubbo in the moment. The only way he knows to redeem himself now is to prove to Tubbo, after everything, that he can still put the discs aside. And so he does.

“The fact that Tommy is still trying to get his discs back after L’Manburg was destroyed is unreasonable and ridiculous.”

Tommy deals with grief in an interesting way, doing something very similar to Techno. His grief almost instantly becomes anger and a drive to prove himself. It morphs into a need for vengeance in response to injustice, always.

After the destruction of L’Manburg, Tommy saying he wants the discs back is a double-sided motivator. The obvious side being: Tommy still needs them to feel comfort. The subtle side beneath it: Tommy is using them as an excuse to find Dream and kill him. To make him pay for helping destroy their home, hurting his friends, and abusing him in exile.

Upon the loss of his home, I’d also argue the discs have only grown more important to Tommy in the aftermath. Typically, in grief, people hold onto things that survive devastation far more than if the tragic event never occurred. If your eldest child dies, one may hold their surviving children tighter. If your house burns down, one may deeply treasure a box of items that survived the flames. Tommy’s desperation after losing so much is entirely understandable.

On top of this, the discs are still the core to Tommy’s fatal flaw. They are what keeps him from achieving total happiness, so him getting over this intrinsic part of himself so easily would make for an unsatisfying character arc. He still has to work for his happiness in order to change for the better.

To add, I’ve seen a lot of people complaining that Tommy is still prioritizing the discs over Tubbo, especially in that moment. And while I mostly agree, there are some interactions that stand out to me as being different between the pair that may imply otherwise. Tommy says a few times that despite L’Manburg being destroyed, he still has something left to lose; each time, turning to look at Tubbo.

This subtly implies that losing Tubbo would be as devastating as losing his home. Tubbo also never voices disagreement over Tommy’s continued pursuit of the item. However, Tubbo frequently does what he thinks will make others happy, so this doesn’t implicitly mean support for Tommy either. Besides these two things, this is still Tommy’s fatal flaw shining through, continuing to hurt others around him.

I only hope Tubbo can learn to stand up for himself and voice his real thoughts to Tommy now, after everything. It would provide at least some desperately-needed closure for Tubbo’s character.

“How could Tommy betray Techno like that? Techno told him upfront what he was going to do.”

While it’s true that Techno was obvious about his plans, Tommy was also just as upfront with Techno about what he thought of it. In fact, maybe even more so, considering Techno attempted to hide them from Tommy for a good portion of their partnership. Whenever Techno brought up the idea of destroying L’Manburg or hurting Tubbo, Tommy would always remind Techno that he didn’t want to hurt anyone. And that if Techno ever did, Tommy would be there to stand in his way. He never once stopped saying this.

Tommy’s two major positive character traits have always been his undying loyalty and his strength to never give up, even in the face of death. Two classically heroic qualities, both of which, ironically, reinforce his fatal flaw. His refusal to change makes him stubborn; stubbornness being the only quality that makes unwavering loyalty and extreme persistence feasible.

Because of these two traits, it was impossible from the start for Dream to completely break Tommy’s spirit and for Techno to get him to agree to anything too extreme. Despite this, Techno already had no hope of keeping Tommy on his side after the events of the day before the Festival. During it, Tommy had asked multiple times for Techno to give his word not to hurt anyone. That they’d only threaten to spawn a wither, get Techno’s remaining weapons in exchange, then leave. That’s it.

Techno avoided directly promising Tommy but still agreed not to regardless. So when Techno chose to spawn the wither anyway, despite Tommy urging them to leave multiple times, whatever trust Tommy had with him went completely out the window. Thus, when the threat was finally real, that Techno would make due on his promise to burn his home country to the ground and slaughter his friends, Tommy intervened. It would be unreasonable to expect Tommy not to stand against him in that moment, especially after his mental breakdown which ensued as a result of him nearly killing his best friend.

Adding salt to the wound on Tommy’s end, Techno decided to also align himself with Dream, someone Techno knew Tommy was afraid of. This might have been a way to purposely hurt Tommy. More likely, it was because Dream and him shared a common goal in the moment and Techno desperately needed allies.

However, the implication of Techno siding with Tommy’s abuser most certainly hurt him, regardless of its original intentions. This is possibly why Tommy kept insisting through Doomsday that Techno betrayed him, avoiding actually telling anyone the reason as to why. If he couldn’t find the words to describe what Dream did to him, even to Tubbo, he certainly wouldn’t be able to tell Techno either.

“Techno gave Tommy everything, only to be repaid with betrayal.”

This statement regarding Tommy is the one I see most often. (It is also the one I get the most heated about.)

Dream’s character is well known for his manipulation tactics against other characters; pitting them against each other, crushing them under his heel, bending their will to conform to his own. It’s what makes him an interesting villain. It’s something fun to discuss.

But is it still fun to discuss manipulation tactics if they’re so subtle, almost no one notices them? This is the paradigm Technoblade’s character falls into. While people know Techno for his laid-back personality, dry humor, and complex motivations, many fail to recognize him as a manipulator. The reason why this is so hard to spot is because it is mostly unintentional on behalf of the character. Dream performs his craft with intention, Techno does it without realizing.

As well as this being unwitting, it is sandwiched between Techno’s actual attempts to connect with Tommy and care for him. Thus, making the manipulation feel less damaging. The only problem is, this still hurts Tommy just as much, regardless of the intentions behind it. Especially after just escaping Dream, Tommy’s reality and sense of identity are horribly distorted. In this vulnerable state, he desperately needs healing and someone to help ground him. This is what makes him even more susceptible to Techno’s influence.

And because it is much subtler, it is harder to notice, and much harder to break free from. Despite Tommy claiming to hate Techno for what he did on November 16th, he still chose to flee to his house because it was the only place he could think of going, as well as being the safest area possible. After the failed execution, Techno mentioned potentially hurting Tubbo through a vengeance plot. Tommy voiced extreme distress over this, to which Techno threatened to kick him out of his house.

Tommy then says he’s fine being homeless because he doesn’t want anything to do with someone who would hurt his friend. This is when Techno decides to weaponize Tommy’s own trauma against him. To be fair to Techno again, Tommy never told him the extent of the abuse he suffered in exile. But Techno isn’t stupid. He knows Tommy is extremely afraid of Dream, and for good reason.

So he tells Tommy that if he were kicked out, he’d be defenseless. That if he were out there all alone, Dream would find him very easily. That Dream would drag him right back to Logstedshire in an instant. He notices the way Tommy reacts to this, how quickly he changes his mind about being kicked out. He continues to use this trauma repeatedly in order to keep Tommy under his roof, no matter how disagreeable he gets about Techno’s plans. He knows he can’t retrieve his weapons alone because he has no leverage.

Therefore, using Tommy like a wild card was a major side strategy. Techno knows it will hurt Tubbo by doing this and may make the President more willing to compromise. In addition to this, many of the strategies Techno utilizes are Narcissistic manipulation tactics, categorized by their intent to keep the victim in a position below the abuser in terms of worth. This includes Techno using the silent treatment as a punishment, something which hurts Tommy since he craves affection from others.

He also attempts to isolate Tommy by telling him he doesn’t need anyone else; that everyone abandoned him during exile (something which Dream has also said.) He tells Tommy that he’s only alive because Techno is there to defend him and supply for him, as well as constantly reminding Tommy to not let any compliments he receives get to his head. These are both meant to make Tommy depend more on Techno and doubt his own abilities. Techno also occasionally engages in subtle gaslighting, attempting to sow doubt in Tommy’s mind about his relationships with Tubbo, Quackity, Ranboo, and Fundy.

It’s also vital to keep in mind what exactly separates Dream and Techno in this regard. The most important thing being that Techno actually does care about Tommy. He trusts him and wants to earnestly help him. He knows Tommy has been traumatized and abused in some way, but he doesn’t know how to help because he’s not that great with people. It also doesn’t help that Tommy is unable to tell anyone what happened.

In the end, Techno really does want to be a shield for Tommy. Despite debating handing Tommy over to Dream, it’s more likely Techno was using this as bait for Dream to waste his favor on something useless. After all, he could always save Tommy, should he ask for him to. Techno’s warnings about Tubbo and L’Manburg also come from a place of love, as Techno was personally hurt by them and wants to protect Tommy by telling him to leave it behind. However, just because something is done out of love, doesn’t mean it’s automatically helpful or good for someone.

There’s no better example of this than in Techno’s most damaging and frequently used tactic: ‘Buy Their Love,’ a technique commonly used on children by narcissistic parents. At first glance, nothing seems wrong. Techno gives Tommy most things he asks for; providing him with food, gifts, protection, and a place to sleep. The manipulation within this arises when the act of kindness is counted as a debt against the person who receives it. That by receiving so many good things, they would be ungrateful to go against their abuser. Doesn’t matter if they emotionally or physically hurt you, they gave you gifts, so you should shut your mouth and allow the abuse to continue.

Whenever Tommy speaks out against Techno’s violent actions or his plans to hurt his friends, Techno would frequently bring up all his ‘good deeds.’ He consistently reminds Tommy that he could’ve just thrown him back to Dream, but he was too kind. That he went out of his way to give him gear, food, and a roof over his head. That he was kind so Tommy should be quiet and let Techno plot to hurt the people he loves. Or else he’s selfish and ungrateful. Or else Techno will take all of his gifts back and leave him with nothing.

Knowing this, it is horrifying seeing people justifying this behavior by mocking Tommy’s character and calling him ungrateful using this very same fallacy. (Especially for those who grew up being controlled by this very tactic.)

It is through knowing Techno’s use of the ‘Buy Their Love,’ method that makes Tommy’s, ‘I am worthy,’ response, not one of betrayal, but one of triumph. This moment is a major positive character change for Tommy for many reasons. When Tommy decides to stand against Techno, this causes him to fall back on his most reliable tactic. He insults Tommy and then asks for the Axe of Peace back. Instead of caving, Tommy refuses.

By keeping the Axe of Peace, Techno’s final gift to him, he is not only rejecting the destruction of all he loves, but he is breaking free from Techno’s manipulation. He says, ‘I am worthy,’ because now he knows his own self-worth. He doesn’t need Techno or Dream to decide it for him. This moment is Tommy finally breaking free from not just Techno, but Dream as well. He is finally free.

“Tommy was only using Techno and never thought of him as a friend.”

Tommy and Techno’s relationship is complicated, which is why pretending only one side was in the wrong isn’t entirely accurate. Their friendship, in summary, is tragic when fully examined; being doomed from the start. Techno and Tommy are brought into conflict often because they are simultaneously so similar and so different. Techno and Tommy both deal with grief in the same way. They both long for a life of peace and comfort. They each long for companionship, hold their ideals in kind, and are both naturally resilient in the face of adversity.

Yet, their personalities and courses of action are polar opposites. What makes this friendship one of tragedy is the fact that not just Techno, not just Tommy, but both of them, actually thought the other was their friend. They had each wanted to be the other’s friend since the day they’d met. Tommy never stopped wanting to impress Techno and get on his good side, even if his methods annoyed the target of his affections. Him calling Techno ‘The Blade’ was never meant to dehumanize him; it was a title of adoration.

Along the same spectrum, Techno is a character who generally longs for friendship, but pretends not to after a lifetime of hurt. He’s been burned too many times, and so he chooses to stay alone. Techno is generally very reclusive and awkward around others, so when he likes someone or cares for them, it’s noticeable from a mile away. Their friendship has a very brotherly dynamic, and the fact that Techno allowed him to stay in his house, implies Tommy is a step above pretty much everyone else but Phil. Putting up with Tommy’s shenanigans is itself a sign of affection.

However, when their goals come into conflict and the two start to drift apart, they deal with this in massively different ways. With Tommy devastated and enraged, and with Techno withdrawn and hurt, once more burned by someone he slowly learned to trust. They were once both friends, neither one was pretending. Yet, both of them thought their companionship was unreciprocated.

On top of this, both Techno and Tommy were using each other. Techno used Tommy to get his weapons back by manipulating and lying to him. Tommy used Techno to protect him from Dream and get his discs back. They each hurt the other and refused to listen, both shouting valid complaints at the other that they refused to hear.

Their relationship is also deeply affected by the themes of vengeance in the current arc, which is something I haven’t seen many people talk about. Most of the current conflicts this past month have resulted from characters being unable to forgive, resorting to revenge as a way to cope with loss. L’Manburg was the first to initiate this, through the influence of Quackity. The Butcher Army was formed to punish Techno for a war crime he committed. And while this is perfectly reasonable, what isn’t is the way the incident was orchestrated. It was an unchecked abuse of power to execute someone without a fair trial, as well as punishing Phil, who was not involved whatsoever.

This was also particularly unfair to Techno, as many projected their anger at Wilbur onto him. Even Tommy did this, finding himself unable to blame his late mentor, so Techno was the next best option for him. However, it was Techno’s response to this that was interesting. He chose a path of vengeance, the same way L’Manburg did, after vowing to live his life as a pacifist. By doing this and following through, he hurt everyone, not just the people he claimed needed to pay for their actions.

Instead of just picking the weed in the garden, he set the entire flower bed on fire. Through L’Manburg’s destruction, he gets what he wants. He destroys their government, but he also scars the earth and shatters the sky. He leaves uninvolved people homeless, deeply hurting Ranboo, Eret, and especially Ghostbur. Philza turns to vengeance as well, taking his anger at the death of his son out on people who do not deserve it.

Tubbo, a day before the second Festival, was given another chance to seek revenge when Techno had spawned a wither on their land. Instead, all Tubbo could say was, ‘We do nothing … It’s pointless, vengeance. It’s poisonous.’ By doing this, he has managed to be a bigger person than even Techno was, with the strength and maturity to turn the other cheek. And now with Tommy’s plan to kill Dream, the conflict continues to escalate; only ending where forgiveness begins.

It’s sad to think, if Techno didn’t choose a path of vengeance and Tommy was strong enough to tell Techno how he really felt, the two might have remained friends. Who knows? Maybe they still can.

“Tommy was the one in the wrong. Techno was right to destroy L’Manburg.”

Techno is a lovely character. He’s well-written, engaging, funny. He has many values and quirks that are generally relatable and interesting. His motives are deeply understandable and sympathetic. And yet, he is perfectly capable of being evil, in just the same way that Tommy can be deeply flawed despite being the protagonist.

I’m sure most people already know that Technoblade is a villain. Or more accurately, a tragic antagonist. Techno (the streamer) knows he is and he’s having fun playing that part. Just because a character is morally in the wrong doesn’t mean their values and ideology don’t have merit. The best character I could compare Techno to is Thanos.

They have completely valid concerns and points, but it is the way in which they go about achieving their goals that makes them into evil people. And despite this, many will still agree with them, even after they do something reprehensible. Contrary to popular belief, Technoblade’s tendency towards violence isn’t a good thing, no matter how you look at it. Even Techno himself knows this, that’s why he decided to reform and become a pacifist with Phil. He was not a good influence on Tommy, on top of also manipulating him.

Techno caving to hatred and vengeance makes him no different to the resolve of the Butcher Army that pursued him. It is precisely the fact that he went on to destroy the home of not just Tommy, but also Ranboo and Ghostbur, that puts him in the wrong. He is allowed to despise all government and remove himself from it, but the moment he decided to insert himself into someone else’s country and take their home from them in order to destroy it, he abandoned an integral principle to his own values.

This principle being: ‘Choice.’ The act of letting others be free to decide what they want for themselves. It is a huge component to the concept of anarchy, the freedom to choose. And yet Techno robbed this from, not just the ruling powers that hurt him, but individuals who were not even involved in the first place. He justifies this by saying it’s for their own good, that he’s helping; while acting in a self-serving manner.

In his anger, he became the punisher, stooping lower than L’Manburg has ever gone. There is also the issue of Dream weaponizing Techno to destroy the one thing that has been a thorn in his side since the very start, manipulating Techno’s grief to achieve his goals. Tommy’s biggest sin in the Doomsday War was standing up to Techno and getting in the way of him hurting his friends and destroying his home.

This isn’t to say Tommy is perfect, because he still hurt everyone he ever loved. But the only way he knew to redeem himself was to fight for what he knew was right. And so he chose to fight alongside his best friend, Tubbo. However, just because Techno is in the wrong doesn’t mean others are wrong for wanting to side with him, or by finding joy in his ruthlessness. The biggest appeal of Techno is the fact that he opposes people like Tommy.

He knows how to put people in their place and it’s satisfying to watch. Some people love rooting for villains and it’s entertaining to see a being with so much power crush everyone else down so effortlessly. Especially because it’s so easy to sympathize with Technoblade. Sympathetic villains are the best kind; where they have understandable motivations, relatable flaws, people they love, and something they can lose. Dream is a villain you love to hate. Technoblade is a villain you hate to love. Simple as.

Despite the destruction of L’Manburg being either devastating or fantastic depending on who you are, there is one major good it has done. It has pushed Tommy more towards the completion of his character arc. By losing one of the three things he loves, it will be impossible for him to pretend any longer. He will be forced to confront reality very soon. It all depends on whether Tubbo will have to die first for him to finally see it.

3K notes · View notes

comparativetarot · 3 years ago

Photo

Father Simms. Art by Katelan V. Foisy, from The Hoodoo Tarot.

Who gives the ibis this wisdom or gives the rooster understanding? — Job 38:36

Plant: Peavine

The Image Father Simms is dressed in the purple satin robe in which he liked to work. The rooster represents him, and the two streams of water represent his baptism as a two-headed doctor (a Hoodoo that does “good” and “bad” work).

Father George Simms, born Joe Watson and nicknamed “the Frizzly Rooster,” was a preacher and rootworker from New Orleans. They called him the Frizzly Rooster because many people kept at least one chicken in the backyard, for the sole purpose of scratching up any roots that may have been placed there by an enemy. He had a reputation for being able to effectively place or lift curses and read anyone. Father Simms was a bit eccentric and was comfortable doing “good” or “bad” workings.

He gave sermons at Myrtle Wreath Hall, and that’s where his most famous student, Zora Neale Hurston, made his acquaintance. After weeks of performing superficial tasks without anything being explained to her, she was initiated by Father Simms, given the name “The Boss of Candles,” and finally taught the deeper mysteries. It is a common misconception that rootwork is never an initiatic system, because while this is the case for many, initiations are not unheard of.

Meaning When Father Simms comes up in a reading, it’s asking you to review your position regarding your inquiry. If you’ve taken an extreme or one-sided position, now’s the time to consider things from a more balanced perspective. Things do not have to be black and white, so don’t force it to be! Id you have been asked to compromise or cooperate, but you feel resistant to the idea, this card is a good sign that you haven’t considered all the aspects of the situation. If you’ve been asked to give someone an answer, don’t respond until you feel more centered. To do otherwise may cause deep regret and feelings to be hurt unnecessarily. Try to e fair.

If you receive Father Simms in a reading, consider the following:

• What would be gained by compromising? Is it worth more than the perceived loss? • Are you being fair? • Sometimes less is more. • Extremists never think they’re extreme. • Peace is priceless. • Focus on healing and recovery. • An alliance is not such a bad idea. • What am I bringing to the pot luck dinner? • Perhaps add something else to the mix. • Other races, religions, and ethnic groups exist. Maybe it’s time to learn more about other people?

Text by Tayannah Lee McQuillar.

#Katelan V. Foisy #Tayannah Lee McQuillar #The Hoodoo Tarot #Temperance #Major Arcana #Tarot #Animals #Chicken #Rootworking #Father Simms #African American #Black Tarot Decks #Racial Diversity

10 notes · View notes

redantsunderneath · 4 years ago

Text

On Analysis Part 1 - Hermeneutics and Configurative reading (the “what” part)

“Without turning, the pharmacist answered that he liked books like The Metamorphosis, Bartleby, A Simple Heart, A Christmas Carol. And then he said that he was reading Capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's. Leaving aside the fact that A Simple Heart and A Christmas Carol were stories, not books, there was something revelatory about the taste of this bookish young pharmacist, who ... clearly and inarguably preferred minor works to major ones. He chose The Metamorphosis over The Trial, he chose Bartleby over Moby Dick, he chose A Simple Heart over Bouvard and Pecouchet, and A Christmas Carol over A Tale of Two Cities or The Pickwick Papers. What a sad paradox, thought Amalfitano. Now even bookish pharmacists are afraid to take on the great, imperfect, torrential works, books that blaze a path into the unknown. They choose the perfect exercises of the great masters. Or what amounts to the same thing: they want to watch the great masters spar, but they have no interest in real combat, when the great masters struggle against that something, that something that terrifies us all, that something that cows us and spurs us on, amid blood and mortal wounds and stench.” ― Roberto Bolano, 2666

Much of the background for this post in particular comes from Paul Fry’s Yale lecture course about the theory of literature. This is a great starting course for interpretation and textual analysis and, yes, film and TV shows are text.

In futzing around with this stuff, what am I doing? Less charitably, what do I think I’m even trying to do, here? Many feel that applying theory to art and entertainment is as pretentious as the kind of art or entertainment that encourages it. It’s understandable. Many examples of analysis are garbage and even people capable of good work get going in the wrong direction due to fixations or prejudices they aren’t even aware of and get swept away by the mudslide of enthusiasm into the pit of overreach. That’s part of the process. But this stuff has an actual philosophical grounding, so let’s start by looking at the stories history of trying to figure out “texts.”

Ideas about the purpose of art, what it means to be an author, and how it is best to create go back to the beginning of philosophy but (outside of some notable examples) there is precious little consideration of the reception of art and certainly not a feeling that it was a legitimate field of study until more recently. The Greeks figured the mind would just know how to grok it because what it was getting at was automatically universal and understanding was effortless to the tune mind. But the idea that textual analysis should be taken seriously began with the literal texts of the Torah (Rabbinical scholarship) and then the Bible, but mostly in closed circles.

Hermeneutics as we know it began as a discipline with the Protestant Reformation since the Bible was now available to be read. Sooooo, have you read it? It’s not the most obvious or coherent text. Reading it makes several things clear about it: 1. It is messy and self contradictory; 2. A literal reading is not possible for an honest mind and isn’t advisable in any event; 3. It is extremely powerful and mysterious in a way that makes you want to understand, your reach exceeding your grasp. This is like what I wrote about Inland Empire - it captures something in a messy, unresolvable package that probably can’t be contained in something clear and smooth. This interpretive science spread to law and philosophy for reasons similar to it’s roots in text based religion - there was an imperative to understand what was meant by words.

Hans-Georg Gadamer is the first to explicitly bring to bear a theory of how we approach works. He was a student of Martin Heidegger, who saw the engagement with “the thing itself” as a cyclic process that was constructive of meaning, where we strive to learn from encounters and use that to inform our next encounter. Gadamer applied this specifically to how we read a text (for him, this means philosophical text) and process it. Specifically he strove to, by virtue of repeated reading and rumination which is informed by prior readings (on large and small scales, even going back and forth in a sentence), “align the horizons” of the author and the reader. The goal of this process is to arrive at (external to the text) truth, which was for him the goal of the enterprise of writing and reading to begin with. This is necessary because the author and reader both carry different preconceptions to the enterprise (really all material and cultural influences on thinking) that must be resolved.

ED Hirsch had a lifelong feud with Gadamer over this, whipping out Emanuel Kant to deny that his method was ethically sound. He believed that to engage in this activity otherizes and instrumentalizes the author and robs them of them being a person saying something that has their meaning, whether it is true or false. We need to get what they are laying down so we can judge the ideas as to whether they are correct or not. It may be this is because he wasn’t that sympathetic a reader - he’s kind of a piece of work - and maybe his thheory was an excuse to act like John McLaughlin. He goes on to have a hell of a career fucking up the US school system

But it’s Wolfgang Iser that comes in with the one neat trick which removes (or at least makes irrelevant) the knowability problem, circumvents the otherizing problem, and makes everything applicable to any text (e.g. art, literature) by bringing in phenomenology, specifically Edmund Husserl’s “constitution” of the world by consciousness. It makes perfect sense to bring phenomenology into interpretive theory as phenomenology had a head start as a field and is concerned with something homologous - we only have access to our experience of <the world/the text> and need to grapple with how we derive <reality/meaning> from it. Husserl said we constitute reality from the world using our sensory/cognitive apparatus, influenced by many contingencies (experiential, cultural, sensorial, etc) but that’s what reality is and It doesn’t exist to us unbracketed. Iser said we configure meaning from the text using our sensory/cognitive apparatus, influenced by many contingencies (experiential, cultural, sensorial, etc) but that’s what meaning is and It doesn’t exist to us unbracketed. Reality and meaning are constructed on these contingencies, and intersubjective agreement is not assured.

To Iser, we create a virtual space (his phrase) where we operate processes on the text to generate a model what the text is saying, and this process has many inputs based on our dataset external to the text (not all of which is good data) as well as built in filters and mapping legends based on our deeper preconceptions (which may be misconceptions or “good enough” approximations). Most if this goes on without any effort whatsoever, like the identification of a dog on the street. But some of it is a learned process - watch an adult who has never read comics try to read one. These inputs, filters, and routers can animate an idea of the author in the construct, informing our understanding based on all sorts of data we happen to know and assumptions about how certain things work.

This is reader response theory, that meaning is generated in the mind by interaction with the text and not by the text, though Stanley Fish didn’t accent the “in the mind part” and name the phenomenon until years later. Note that Gadamer is largely prescriptive and Hirsch is entirely prescriptive while Iser is predominantly descriptive. He’s saying “this is how you were doing it all along,” but by being aware of the process, we can gain function.

For those keeping score: 1. Gadamer, after Heidegger’s cyclic process at constructing an understanding of the thing itself, centers on a point between the author and reader and prioritizes universal truth. 2. Hirsch, after Kant’s ethical stand on non instrumentalization, centers on hearing what the author is saying and prioritizes the judging the ideas. 3. Iser, after Husserl’s constituted reality, centers on configuring a multi-input sense of the text within a virtual (mental) space and prioritizes meaning.

Everything after basically comes out of Iser and is mostly restatement with focusing/excluding of elements. The 20th century mindset, from the logical positivists to Bohr’s view that looking for reality underlying the wave form was pointless, had a serious case of God (real meaning, ground reality) is dead. W.K. Wimsatt and M. C. Beardsley’s intentional fallacy, an attempt to caution interpreters to steer clear of considering what the god-author meant, begat death of the author which attempted to take the author entirely out of the equation - it was less likely you’d ever understand the if you focused on that! To me, this is corrective to trends at the time and not good praxis - it excludes natural patterns of reading in which the author is configured, rejects potentially pertinent data, and limits some things one can get out of the text.

Meanwhile formalism/new criticism (these will be discussed later in a how section) focused on just what was going on in the text with as few inputs as possible, psychoanalytics and historicism looked to interrogate the inputs/filters to the sense making process, postmodernism/deconstruction attacked those inputs/filters making process questioning whether meaning was not just contingent but a complete illusion, and critical studies became obsessed with specific strands of oppression and hegemony as foundational filters that screw up the inputs. But the general Iser model seems to be the grandfather of everything after.

Reader intersubjectivity is an area of concern. In the best world, the creation of art is in part an attempt to find the universal within the specific, something that resonates and speaks to people. A very formative series of David Milch lectures (to me at least) proffer that if you find a scene, idea, whatever, that is very compelling to you, your job is to figure out what in it is “fanciful” (an association specific to you) and how to find and bring out the universal elements. But people’s experiences are different and there be many ideas of what a piece of art means without there being a dominant one. So the building of models within each mind leaves a lot to consider as the final filtered input is never quite the same. There is a lot of hair on this dog (genres engender text expectations that an author can subvert by confusing the filter, conflicting input can serve a purpose, the form of a guided experience can be a kind of meaning, on and on ad nauseum)

The ultimate question, you might ask, is why we need to do this at all. I mean, I understood Snow White perfectly fine as a kid. There’s no “gap” that needs to be leaped. The meaning of the movie is evident enough on some level without vivisecting it. The Long answer to what we gain from looking under Snow’s skirt is the next episode. The short is: 1. You are doing it anyway. That Snow White thing, you were doing thhat to Snow White you just weren’t conscious of the process.

2. It’s fun. The process only puts a tool of enjoyment in your arsenal. You don’t have to use it all the time.

3. You’ll see stuff you like in new ways. The way Star Wars works is really interesting!

4. It may give dimensions to movies that are flawed or bad, and you might wind up liking them. Again, more to love.

5. It is sometimes necessary to get to a full (or any) appreciation of some complicated works as the most frustrating and resistant stuff to engage with is sometimes the most incredible.

6. It reinforces your involvement in something you like. It makes you more connected and more hungry, like any good exercise.

7. You can become more aware of what those preconceptions and biases are, which might give you insights in other areas of your life.

14 notes · View notes

mc-slowwalker · 3 years ago

Note

before I continue, I was watching Jack Manifold’s stream while writing this and slightly distracted by the fact that he has hair now

dreamsmp homonormative society is actually the funniest thing that they’ve managed to do and with characters ages and like time in general I tend to just go with a handwavey they’re the ccs ages and time progresses probably

ooh I want c!dream out of the prison sooo bad but also I want more prison streams tooooo. like sometimes I forget the c!techno is even in the prison give me more podcasts to compensate. looooree where is ittt I need it. it’s actually a crime that I’m asleep for 99% of ponk and foolish’s streams 😔✌️

omg I work at a dental clinic and when I read that I just imagined all the dsmp characters just like there and it cracks me up so much

oh I’ll apologise for c!sapnap because I understand where he’s coming from of course. I don’t know if I would say he’s justified exactly in thinking that or well maybe he is because of past experiences but he’s not exactly right in it I wouldn’t say. like I get why sapnap would react in the way that he did but he does have a few misconception about some things but also his character makes me sad sometimes actually c!dteam makes me sad sometimes (read all the time.) lmao ranboo arc nice. I’ve realised I tend to be biased toward c!tommy and c!dream the most funnily enough even though I try to look at it all more objectively when actually analysing lore cause that’s more fun but I will 100% be biased as hell when joking around cause that’s funnier

yeah! I’m enjoying cc!george doing lighthearted lore and the fandom turning it into c!george angst lmao. but also like a way to do lore that he’ll actually enjoy too. YES PLEASE C!PUNZ WHERE ARE YOU. nevermind c!tommy and c!dream it’s actually c!punz that I am most biased towards. and c!tubbo.

yeah!! it’s honestly so awesome what the dsmp has done like there’s something for everyone

also I was really tired while writing this so it’s not as long or coherent and I would say more about the lore foolish did but I haven’t watched it yet (cause I was asleep😪)

Jack manifold having hair is bad but I also think he shoukd get a mullet I just think it would be funny

I don’t think they meant for it to happen? I don’t even know if they’ve realized it yet. I would 100% agree because that’s how I treat character ages but philza is 100000 years old in canon and no kne can take that away from me

Ponk exclusively streams when I have classes and during summer/breaks he streams,,, arguably at a time that I should be awake, but at a time I am never awake. But he’s been doing longer streams recently!

Weirdly enough I kind of have a weird relationship (parasocial) with foolish? When he was first added I was real upset that dream added another white guy to the smp and he was a white guy that I didn’t know. So with philza and friends joining I had already heard of them/got a vouch from other ccs that they would be cool, but foolish was a complete unknown. I got over myself though and he’s really grown on me. I don’t tune into his streams because I tend to dislike streams where streamers are on their own and/or are too low energy. I think I’m a feral boys main because those fuckers so rarely stream without other people shjdjd

Oh shit you work at a dental place?? I’m prevet/vet assistant I feel this weird medical kinship sjdbkfj. But deeper into dream smp people going to the dentist. Techno straight up has tusks. How the fcuk- tommy for sure bites and I’m not even sure ranboo has teeth. I think it would be extra funny if the dentist tried to give quackity a normal colored replacement tooth but he brought his own gold and was like “hey you know what’d look banger” actually I just realized that the gold tooth thing is all fanon isn’t it? Huh

C!Dreamteam makes me sad too, and suprisingly I’m more critical of c!sapnap but less so in the way you’d think? I haven’t forgiven him for the pet wars. I’ve found with joking around I’m more likely to be meaner to c!tommy but take c!dream criticism to heart? High empathy and low sympathy will do that to a bitch ig. I think when people joke about c!dream apologists I’m put on edge because of the sheer amount of people who genuinely think that being a c!dream apologist makes you a morally bad person in real life. I’ve tried to chill a bit and not take stuff personally but rsd is a bitch

I realize now that you meant like characters that you like when you said biased towards but I read it wrong and already wrote a paragraph so it’s too late to go back on it

Cc just make better content when they’re happy, we get better george lore when he’s having fun so I think it’s a good trade off

#ask #anon #long post

0 notes

baekchelor · 5 years ago

Text

𝕕𝕒𝕪𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕕𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕡𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟

pairings: George Mackay x reader genre: romantic comedy rating: pg13 synopsis: on the set of his new film, golden boy George Mackay learns a basic human truth: that the heart is deceitful above all things.

❝ i love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.❞ —pablo neruda

THREE | HEARTACHE & FAREWELLS ◄ ᴘʀᴇᴠ

Daisy (against Geo's wishes) flies to Mumbai a little over a month into the shoot. Dharma is extending its filming period to six weeks, just as Alma predicted, so although George's left scenes are few, Daisy still gets to see him in action when —without an invitation, she arrives on set.

"I said I'd meet you at the hotel," he says as he greets her once Greta wrapped George’s last take for the day.

It's him and two other actors for this particular scene, in which Edmund reveals amidst the chaos of the Indian rebellion, he's well aware of James' feelings towards his wife.

Y/N is back at The Taj, probably still asleep. It is her free day, and George has come to learn the girl cherishes snooze above all things good. She'd rather stay in her Pj's and dreamland instead of strolling across Mumbai's beaches.

Daisy pecks George on the cheek, and a few of the staff members milling around them exchange curious glances. As far as George knows, no one but Dean and his sister, know about the friends-with-benefits situation with Daisy. And as far as he's concerned, everyone on the crew (except maybe Dev Patel. George suspects he's got a crush on Y/N too) were rooting and gossiping about Geo and Y/N's potential to become an item. So of course, they all seem taken aback with the unknown blonde wrapping her arms around George’s shoulder blades.

"I wanted to surprise you," Daisy whispers into his ear, standing on her tiptoes.

She's smiling up at him now, a complexion like peaches and cream, and George can make out signals of uncertainty in her expression. Daisy still looks as lovely as he remembers, yet not as beautiful as his lovely one. It hits him just then, how easily Y/N's smile can melt him down —and how, at this moment, Daisy's smile only makes him feel guilty.

"We're okay, aren't we, Georgie?" There it is again: the minimal furrowing of her brow, the vulnerable pull in her mouth. "You've just been busy, haven't you?"

He smiles back as tenderly as he can to reassure her. It seems to work because her features illuminate.

"Yeah," He puts his arm around her, the protectiveness of it a habit. Might this be how Y/N feels with Henry? "Come on. Let's go to The Taj."

Daisy's booked a separate room, of course. She even checked in at a completely different floor. George knows she's here on a mission, and she's going to try to spend at least one night in the same bed as he; but for some reason, it feels wrong to have a girl in the same mattress Y/N has fallen asleep, read books and talk to him about everything and nothing.

"Let's go out to dinner tonight," Daisy is wearing her hair down today, the way George likes it best. "Tell Y/N/N to come too. With a date, if she likes." Her expression slides into something conspiratorial. "She shouldn't have any trouble finding one by seven, right?"

"I don't see why she would," George manages to say, feeling the weight of it sink into his chest.

Things haven't been strange between him and Y/N. Not at all. Not if George ignores the razor-sharp awareness that prickles over his skin every time Y/N sits a little too close, so their thighs touch, or looks at her for a moment too long, so he catches that question Y/N never asked still lingering in her gaze.

Daisy is waiting expectantly, so against his inner-self will, and in an effort to prove God-knows-what to himself, George takes his phone and types out a message:

Two hours later, Y/N replies, and George realises he didn't clarify the fact that the Daisy in the matter isn't his sister but his friend. He doesn't want to let her know he has a physical relationship with a girl via text, so he opts to break the news before they walk into the restaurant.

George wipes off his lips with the corner of a table napkin. He keys in the name of the establishment, the time of their reservation and puts his phone away. Daisy sips her white wine, lashes thick and eyes reserved for him, and the likeness George would generally feel is overpowered by unease.

Much to George's dismay, Dev Patel —the other man in the crew who's also from London and can be referred to as London Boy (yes, George is still investigating if the nickname is reserved for him and if Y/N likes Taylor Swift)— is whom she brings as a date. He's much taller than her, the height difference more pronounced since Y/N is wearing flat sandals. The dress on Daisy is similar to the cobalt mini-dress loosely falling from Y/N's shoulders. Yet Daisy only manages to look almost —almost— as beautiful in George's eyes.

When Dev and Y/N walk into the restaurant together, her hand tucked around his arm, George experiences the tell-tale clench of disappointment. However, his inner self knows better, disappointment might be one of the many symptoms, but the most prominent is jealousy.

<< So there's a new London Boy. >>

"Y/N Y/L/N!" Daisy trills. "I'm so glad to finally meet you."

"Hello... Daisy?" Y/N replies with a discreet smile. She looks over at George, wondering why this Daisy is not the one she expected to encounter, this Daisy doesn't smile in the exact same way George does, and this Daisy is one Y/N hasn't ever heard about. George wants to apologize, entwine their hands and explain the long thread of misconceptions that took place since that one call in George's suite, but he knows this is not the place nor the right time to do it.

"Dev," London Boy #2 greets, extending his palm to shake Daisy's. George is grateful. "Are you George's girlfriend?

George is not grateful anymore.

Dev's eyes shine, he directs to George, "She's gorgeous, man."

"We're not a couple, actually."

"Oh."

"Yeah, we're complicated," Daisy ripostes.

George smiles at him half-heartedly, his gaze drifting immediately to Y/N's face. The studied neutrality on it, which every movie star learns to uphold in front of a press line —only to drop the facade when they're out with friends—, is what makes every trace of that half-smile disappear completely.

"What is it?" Daisy whispers as George pulls out her seat for her. No matter the situation, he is a gentleman.

George bends, so her lips are at the level of his ear. "What is what?"

Y/N catches the movement, and their eyes meet from across the table.

Daisy puts her little hand on George's bicep. "Why do you look so..." Y/N is staring at him, "...so sad?"

George's answer is stolen when charming Dev pulls out Y/N's chair for her. George has shared enough time with Dev on set, howbeit, he didn't realise how...touchy he is when he expresses his attention. The moment he is seated and Y/N smiles next to him, he brushes his fingers over her cheek and the corner of her mouth, with careful attention. Y/N isn't looking at George anymore.

On cue, George tears his eyes away too. "I don't know what you mean," he tells Daisy breezily, pressing his lips to her temple and sliding into his seat in one smooth movement. It's a dick move, he knows, but he has never felt so jealous in his whole life; thus, he cannot get a proper hold of his emotions.

Daisy is smart, intuitive, George is sure she doesn't buy his excuse when her hand cautiously removes itself from his arm and comes to fidget in her lap.

"Georgie..." she tries again, under her breath. Dev taps Y/N on the chin, and she responds with a tiny smirk.

Fuck it. George swallows harshly. There is a bitter taste in his mouth he can't seem to get rid of, not even after his second sip of scotch. "Everything is fine, Daisy."

But Daisy won't stop eyeing him after that. Long, searching looks from behind her menu and wine glass; quick, puzzled glances she tries to play off when Dev draws her into the conversation. When she reaches for it, George permits her to wrap her little hand around him under the table, but he doesn't squeeze back.

Y/N focuses her attention on Dev, letting her feed things to her off his plate with his fork and placing her hand between his shoulder blades when he murmurs a question into her waiting ear. It might be due to the same reason as George allows Daisy to hold his hand, or it might be because she is as angry as George suspects.

Dinner runs long, even though George can't remember anything that was discussed from the arrival of the breadbasket to the departure of the dessert plates. Only the cut of Y/N's lips, the bump of her chest when she breathes, her entire face in perpetual profile.

After picking at her food and swilling way too much chardonnay for her unlined stomach to handle, Daisy gets drunk. You've got to be kidding me, crosses George's mind before he's practically forced to piggyback Daisy out of the restaurant, into Tha Taj's elevator and to his room. She hooks her chin over his shoulder.

"Have fun tomorrow," Y/N susurrates. Dev has his palm at the small of her back, and George wants to slap it away.

"I'm sorry," George starts to say, but drunk Daisy surprises him by biting down gently on the juncture of his neck and shoulder. If he were not a good boy, a good London Boy, George would have dropped Daisy off his back. He wants her gone, now, yet he understands Daisy is at an awkward position, and he hasn't helped at all. George should be honest with her, how come, though? If he hasn't been honest with himself.

As an answer, Y/N shakes her head, dismissing the matter. She forces a smile, George can tell, it's the same expression he writes on his face when he's tired and annoyed and still has to stop to take photos at an Award Show. "Good night, heartbreak prince," Y/N murmurs.

That strikes a chord. George whips his face around, baffled. First London Boy, now Heartbreak Prince. He can't remember it as clear, but his sister repeatedly plays a particular album when she bakes, it is the same record London Boy belongs too, and a certain song, phrase, quote, lyric, contains those two words Y/N just told him: Heartbreak Prince.

Greta gives George the day off. The rumour has spread that a beautiful and clingy visitor surprised him on set yesterday. George hadn't asked for special treatment, but Gerwig insists.

"Show your girl around," the director says over the phone, in the sage tone of a mother. He can't help but correct her, Daisy is not his girl, merely a friend. Greta laughs, maintaining her position, "I'll film the scenes you aren't in. Marina and Edmund (George frowns at it, he doesn't want Michael Fassbender kissing his girl. But at least it is not Dev Patel), falling in love. I had their scenes programmed in two days, I'm just going to advance it. We'll survive without you for a day, prince."

Prince?

And again, he tortures himself with his endless theories about London Boy and Heartbreak Prince. He tells Daisy he's tired, so they reclude on his suite. To show Daisy around feels like betraying Y/N, he visited every landmark on the city with her, and he doesn't want to corrupt the memories by bringing a girl who's not her.

George pours Daisy a cup of coffee. She slept in his bed last night after he'd gently unzipped her dress and slipped one of his sleeping shirts over her head. George fell asleep in a chair by the bed, watching her breathe and feeling like a terrible person.

"Are you sure you don't want to go out? You shouldn't miss Mumbai's wonders because of me..." George comes to her side, handing her the cup, which she sets down on the nightstand. Then she holds out her arms, so he knows to crawl back into bed with her.

"I came here to be with you," she says, pulling him down until he's half on top of her. Her fingers thread through his hair on cue, but now the gesture lacks the confidence it used to have behind it. George doesn't know what makes him kiss her on the collarbone, almost like he's asking for forgiveness, but he does it once, twice, before resting his cheek against her chest.

They only have sex towards the end of the day, after George has texted his sister concerning a Taylor Swift song —he thinks is— about a Heartbreak Prince. As the other Daisy dips a teaspoon in each of the tarts and cakes available on the in-room dining menu, his sister sends him a youtube link to a song called Ms Americana & The Heartbreak Prince. George doesn't play it, it would be weird if he pulled out his AirPods with Daisy in the room. Instead, he reads the lyrics.

Scrolling through the words, he comes to terms that the nicknames might be nothing but a coincidence. He is indeed from London, and if anybody saw the way Daisy' stared at him at yesterday's dinner, they would have called him Heartbreak Prince as well. But another part of him, really wants it to be premeditated. He wants to be the London Boy, and he wants to be the boy Y/N thinks of when —if— she listens to Taylor Swift sing: you know I adore you, I’m crazier for you.

At dusk, when Daisy slides her hand up the back of his shirt, scratching lightly down his spine, George knows what she wants. She keeps her eyes open like she wants to memorise the expression on his face as he divests her of her underwear and pulls her body against his. Her mouth tastes like strawberries.

Daisy was never very vocal in bed. Whenever they get together, which is often because who's George kidding, that's basically the purpose of a no-strings-attached relationship, she muffles her moans into his shoulder or trades them for delicate gasps. The look of pure, unadulterated pleasure on her face expresses more than any sound could. Tonight, on the contrary, as he moves over her, she cries out uninhibitedly, like she doesn't care if anybody hears. Like she would just keep going even if someone came knocking on the door demanding her to shut the fuck up.

"Daisy," George forces out in the heat of it all, brows furrowed. "Am I hurting you?" And even as he says it, he hopes, so fervently, that Y/N is still out filming, not alone in her room next door, privy to their noise. It makes him sick to his stomach. The fact that he's thinking about someone else —another girl— when Daisy is wet and naked beneath him. "Tell me if I'm hurting you."

"Not like this," Daisy mumbles.

The cryptic nicknames are still running through George's mind when he's led to a chair and simultaneously seen to by hair and makeup. Daisy left this morning, much to George's relief. The feeling doesn't last long. He knows he should expect it by now (They shoot ninety per cent of their scenes together, for god's sake) but that doesn't stop him from jerking in surprise at the sweet sound of Y/N's voice. It sends his stomach into knots, and he swears he can feel something fluttering around.

"Hello," is all she says as she climbs into the makeup chair opposite George's. The stylists enveloped her in a white lace ruffle gown. Her dyed black, long hair has been placed into two victory rolls at either side of her head. It makes her look like a fucking angel and there, right there, is that wretched question in her eyes.

George folds his lips to wet them. "Long time no see, Gorgeous." He ventures, because his research told him it is also a Taylor Swift song, and maybe she'll take the sign that he has discovered her little riddle —if it even exists.

"It's only been a day," Y/N giggles. "But I know what you mean."The tinge of longing behind it does not go unnoticed.

"I didn't know about you and Dev," George ventures, because he can't help himself. "I guess it really is off this time with Henry."

"It's been over for a while, Geo." Y/N looks over, and the heat of her innocent gaze sets every single bump on George's spine on fire. "And Dev is just–"

"Are you sleeping with him?" George butts in.

Y/N's eyes darken. She’s clearly mad, and with the right to, what the fuck is wrong with him? "No. I'm not sleeping with him and its none of your business." Her voice is sharp and hollow, and George can only think about how even though he just screwed up, he can still get the girl. That, until Y/N continues, "Only one of us has bedded someone since we got to Mumbai, and it isn't me."

George flushes, swift as a sea swell. "You heard us?"

"I didn't have to," Y/N replies dryly.

Then, just like the first day they'd met, at the read-through in London, she seems to sense that she's said too much, and her mouth —that perfect, kissable mouth, stills over the last word. She shifts in her seat.

"I'm sorry," she mutters. "That was inappropriate of me."

"I'm sorry, too," George offers in return. Everything about the apology is melancholic.

"For what?"

"Thinking you were sleeping with him." After a pause, he continues, “And telling you about it. That was really disrespectful.”

But that's a lie. George is sorry for so many other things. He apologizes because he feels like he's just cheated on someone, and worse, on someone who's not even with him. Call him coward, George doesn't want to ruin what they have. What if she isn't over Henry? What if things don't work between them and they can never go back to this?

He doesn't know how long they sit in silence; it could be three minutes, it could be thirty. The hairstylists and makeup artists have long finished their work and proceeded to the craft service table. The crew is having technical difficulties today, something about the street’s uncooperative lighting. From behind them, George can make out an intense discussion on veganism between two of their co-stars (one plays Marina's maid, and the other plays Clint, a soldier who's close friends with James). Tomorrow, the girl and two other actors who portray Marina's parents will fly back to London, having completed their scenes in Mumbai.

George and Y/N, along with the rest of the actors who interpret Marina's love interests and Clint, will stay on for another six days to complete theirs.

"When I was dating Henry," Y/N says out of the blue, her voice stumpy but clear over the din of production. George smiles at the past tense she employs. "Someone else tried to confess his feelings for me."

"Just one person?" George is not in the teasing mood, so his smirk is lukewarm. He wants to thin the heavy sensation in the air around them. "I find that hard to believe."

"So did I," Y/N continues, "because we were really close friends."

That's not what George had meant, nor what he had been expecting. He wanted her to giggle, laugh even, not to feel like she's speaking to him. Maybe she suspects George fancies her, and this is her way to prevent him from going further.

"Oh." It takes a little time for him to formulate a better response. Y/N waits, or at least, that's what it feels like. "How did it happen?"

She picks at her fingernails, "He told me at a dinner party."

“What's a dinner without a little drama," George says, referring to their dinner with Daisy and Dev, just to fill in the static.

"After dinner, the cast was supposed to head to a bar and him, Booboo, said he wanted to drive with me."

"Booboo…” The name is too singular not to recognize. "Booboo Stewart?"

"Yes," she confirms. Y/N's fingers curl in the lacey fabric of her dress. "We walked to the parking lot together. And just like that, he began to tell me."

A chill treads lightly over George's nape. "What did he say?"

"Nothing," Y/N takes a deep, deep breath and releases it, like something in it has pained her. "I shut him down so fast. " Y/N's mouth sets in a grim line. "I asked him if he enjoyed the dinner, and all in a rush changed the subject to Henry and how good our relationship was at the moment...'"

"And what did he say?" George whispers. His heart is pounding out a hazardous beat.

"He didn't say a word," she tells him. "His face just crumpled, right there in front of me, and I felt so terrible." Y/N tugs at the snug, starched silver necklace she’s wearing as if it's part of the problem. "He was pretty much my best friend among the cast, you know? So I just pretended it never happen. I wanted him to know I still considered him a friend."

George can already see where this is going.

"But after that night, things just turned so weird between us," Y/N says. She's not looking at George, it only adds to his unease. "We couldn't rescue our friendship."

"It ruined it..." George murmurs.

The girl exhales, and it's as pained as it had been earlier. Her eyes have mellow considerably, and finally, she stares right into George's blue eyes. They don't exchange words for a while, their gazes seem to hold enough meaning. George is scared, frightened really, but he still manages to ask what intrigues him.

"Why," his throat works. "Why are you telling me this story?"

"I don't know." Y/N's voice falters, and George waits for the worst. Instead, she says something George didn't expect: "I guess because, recently, I feel like I'm Booboo, trying to say something and getting cut off before I can."

"If you're Booboo," George says, with a twinge, "then who is you?"

The look on Y/N's face is bewildered; soft and yielding too, like overheated butter.

There is a fifty per cent chance —George thinks to himself—, that she won't say what he wants her to say; rather, she will name the London Boy whose hair is black and eyes are brown. That leaves a fifty per cent chance —he continues thinking—, that Y/N will say what George wants her to say. And that is his name.

It is you, George.

"All right!" Greta bellows from the centre of the car park. Y/N snaps to attention, and the spell binding them together is broken. "Lighting issue addressed. We're ready for you!"

Inside, George's organs have turned to quicksand, caving into themselves speck by speck.

"That's us," Y/N says, hopping out of her chair. "Thanks for letting me ramble over my ridiculous stories," she laughs, and it rings with nerves.

George gets up too. "I like your stories," he mutters, suddenly thinking about closure and the different definitions it would hold for him, for Daisy, for Y/N and for, now happy (he hopes), Booboo Stewart.

"Excuse me?"

George didn't realize he wanted to tell someone so severely until Dean called and asked him about his time in Mumbai, his scenes for Dharma, and if he had won the bet. "You did. I liked it. Kissing Y/N."

"Are you telling me?”

"I want her." No filter. "I think I'm infatuated with her."

"Wow." Nothing is masking Dean's shock. "Wow. All this time, I was having a blast teasing you about it, because you're not the kind of man that falls for his co-star, but...wow." He chokes out a laugh. "You won't be a bachelor anymore, huh?"

"Won't I?" George says miserably. "Nothing is going to happen, Dean."

"Have you talked to her about it?"

"No." He and Y/N only talk in riddles. "It doesn't matter, either way, because I won't ruin our friendship."

"I understand," Dean puts in. For the first time in many months, George can tell his friend is being wholly serious. "But can things really go back to the way they were now that you know?"

"Now that I know...what?" A question for a question. It's always been a bad habit of George.

Dean spells it out for him with impatience. George can imagine him rolling his eyes, sick of him, "That you have these feelings for her." He exhales. "I hate to be the one to break this out for you, but if you don't tell her how you feel and she goes back to Henry or dates someone else, do you know how will that make you feel?" Dean barrels on, not bothering to stop for breath. "Ridiculous! Full of regrets! Like you lost her when you had the opportunity to be with her, right there in front of you. Idiot."

George grips his phone a little tighter. "I won't get hurt. And I have Daisy." He's gritting his teeth, molars digging into each other as he speaks. "She's a good girl, and she loves me, might give her a chance."

The silence is back, but only for a moment. "I understand you, Geo." It feels like their stations have been reversed, and Dean is age, and George is beauty. "Daisy is everything good." It's sad the way Dean says it, pitiful, even. "But you can't stay with people just because they're good. You stay with them because they are everything."

George tries to form a rebuttal to that, the leather case of his phone squeaking in his hand from how tightly he's grasping it. But he comes up empty, and he and Dean huff into the receiver at the same time.

The final scene of Marina and James is ironically, filmed on their last day in Mumbai. It is their reunion, where a wounded James comes back from England, unaware that Clint informed Marina about the injuries he suffered while fighting the rebellion, and that at the same fire in which Colonel Edmund lost his life, James lost his sight. Marina loves him and is finally able to be with him, even if Edmund is ashamed of the way his face, and body looks.

They're filming the whole thing at the Gateway of India. George remembers it well from the time they went to Elephanta and Y/N held onto his arm as if her life depended on it. George will remember it for another reason now: the end of a brief, bewitching chapter.

Greta Gerwig pulls his two leading stars into a meeting before she starts rolling. "I want to work with you two again," she says warmly. "I knew this movie was going to be a success when you both signed on."

They smile in turn, murmuring their thanks.

The director gets down to business, looking pleased as punch. "What I need you to do for me in this last scene is making me feel the longing." She squeezes her fists together with gusto. Then she looks at them with a smile painted on her thin lips. "I want it to feel like you're the only two people left in the world. Forget about the extras, and Aakesh looking at the scene. You don't see anybody else —George quite literally—, or hear anybody else, except the person in front of you, and how much you missed them while you were separated." Greta breathes in. "You think you can do that?"

"I'll try my best, Boss," Daniella says in earnest. George nods along, watching her. He wonders if Greta Gerwig, the screenwriter and the vastness of the universe are all conspiring against him.

George repasses his lines on his head, it's supposed to be a sign to the last time James and Marina saw each other —when they made love. The lines are the same, only said different, and George knows every single sentence James will speak to the woman he loves when he hears Greta Gerwig's "Action!"

George can hear the sound of his own breathing crisp in his ears. If he cuts his eyes, just so, to the right, he can make out the rosy swell of Y/N's lip.

"Can you love me like this?" he murmurs, chest heaving. The force of his real-life emotion slams into him like a concrete wall.

"Always" Y/N —no, it's Marina, Marina— thumbs over the still open scar that cuts from his right eye to his chin. Then, so slowly it aches, she kisses him.

There's a celebration party that evening at an Italian Restaurant. It's on the eighth floor of a midrise commercial building. From the window, George observes the rows and columns of flashy lights that crowd the horizon, blinding and unapologetic.

He and Y/N stick close together, preceding conversation for a silence that teems with unsaid things.

As the night winds down, and the people around them begin to file out in a wine-induced haze, George is emboldened enough to ask, "Can I sleep in your room tonight?" He knows how close he is to reveal himself (if George hasn't done it already), how inappropriate it is to ask that to a girl, and he doesn't give a shit. "For old time's sake."

"Uhm…yeah, no problem," Y/N answers. "Whatever you want." It's so simple, yet so loaded, and it makes George curl his toes inside his sneakers.

They take turns in the shower. George's brought his sleeping clothes and his toothbrush, the way he does when he goes over to Daisy's...but George stops the thought right there because he's decided to be selfish this final night. He's not going to think about her at all, neither about Henry or Dev Patel. Not even about the potential, this night has to ruin their friendship.

In the morning, when he flies back to London, everything will go back to normal anyway.

Y/N is already in bed when George emerges from the in-suite bathroom. She props himself up on her elbows when he shuts the bathroom door. Then she smiles, and she pats the space beside her, just like a friend would. It's the same side George had slept on when they'd taken that nap together.

"Did I wake you?" George asks, feeling warm and wistful.

"I wasn’t asleep" is Y/N's reply. "But I should be. Come on."

George feels the dip of the mattress under his backside. The linens guard fragrance of the detergent, and he senses the stillness of the air between his arm and Y/N's, under the covers, where they do not touch.

The girl turns over on her side. "We had a good time, didn't we?" Her breath fans over George's cheeks, toothpaste-fresh.

"I had a blast." George stares at one of the switched-off ceiling lights. "I had so much fun working with you. And even when we weren't working," he adds in haste. "Every second of it."

Y/N is heavy-lidded, but not in a way that suggests lethargy. "The feeling," she says, "is mutual."

One, two, three, four, breathe. George tries to resist, tries to keep his head above water, but it's as if his body is on autopilot. He turns over on his side too, so he and Y/N can see each other's faces.

He lets the words breach his lips before he can change his mind. "Did Henry ever tell you how beautiful you are?"

It's enough to disrupt the assembly line of Y/N's slow, steady blinks. George loves the way her eyelids flutter, completely surprised. He files it away for the future when he can no longer see it up close.

Y/N's lips part. "Not recently."

"Take it from another man, then," he says with conviction. "You are beautiful."

"You’re very handsome yourself," his companion mumbles.

George's heart pulses painfully. All right, George, it seems to chide. That's enough. That should be enough to last you.

It's like Y/N has read his mind: "We should get some sleep." She presses her lips together; they're moist at the centre from where she's darted out her tongue. "Early flight tomorrow."

"You're right," the boy agrees. And at that very moment, he feels impossibly reckless.

There's a surge of something potent behind his ribcage, and then he's leaning over and pecking Y/N's bottom lip —so softly, it could almost pass as innocent.

"Good night, Gorgeous," he whispers, bravado slipping a mile and minute. He doesn't look her in the eye. He only turns his body in the opposite direction and switches off the lamp on his nightstand.

The room falls dark.

When Y/N cautiously hooks an arm over his waist and keeps it there, it liquefies George's bones.

"Sweet dreams, Geo," she whispers into his nape. Her voice is defenceless, and it seems to suggest that Y/N isn't holding him to any promises. "Thank you for Mumbai," she tells him, and it breaks George's heart.

ɴᴇxᴛ ►

A/N: The next chapter is the last one, loves. xx

#George mackay #George mackay x reader #1917 #william schofield #schofield #Thomas blake #blake #dean charles chapman #Henry cavill

90 notes · View notes

ingek73 · 5 years ago

Text

Here Are 20 Headlines Comparing Meghan Markle To Kate Middleton That Might Show Why She And Prince Harry Are Cutting Off Royal Reporters

Over the years, Meghan has been shamed for the same things for which her sister-in-law, Kate, has been praised.

Ellie Hall

BuzzFeed News Reporter

Last updated on January 13, 2020, at 12:00 p.m. ET

Posted on January 13, 2020, at 10:40 a.m. ET

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex (aka Prince Harry and Meghan Markle) didn't just shockingly "step back" as senior members of the royal family this week — they gave the UK media a big "fuck-you" for years of what they said was biased and unfair coverage.

The couple's new website on breaking up with years of royal protocol laid out — among a lot of other things — their media strategy, stating that they will no longer participate in the traditional royal press system that grants exclusive access to a select group of UK outlets.

Britain’s royal correspondents, they said, are seen as reliable sources of information. "This misconception propels coverage that is often carried by other outlets around the world, amplifying frequent misreporting," they wrote. Removing themselves from "royal rota" coverage has sparked an outcry among UK media and drew a protest from the National Union of Journalists.

This isn't a new complaint from the royal couple — they just took an unprecedented step to do something about it. Harry and Meghan have said publicly that they believe they have been treated unfairly by the UK press since the moment news broke of their relationship — that they are bullied, that there are racist undertones to coverage of them, and that they have been held to a different standard than Harry's brother and sister-in-law, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (aka Prince William and Kate Middleton).

The UK media outlets that currently make up the royal rota are the Daily Express, the Daily Mail, the Daily Mirror, the Evening Standard, the Telegraph, the Times, and the Sun.

Here is a look at 20 stories from these outlets that appear to show a double standard between press coverage of Meghan and Kate. BuzzFeed News has reached out to all of the outlets featured below for comment.

Kate: "Bumping along nicely! The Duchess was seen placing a protective hand on her tummy as she exited the event." Daily Mail: March 22, 2018

Meghan: "Personally, I find the cradling a bit like those signs in the back of cars: Baby on Board. Virtue signaling, as though the rest of us barren harridans deserve to burn alive in our cars." Daily Mail: Jan. 26, 2019

Kate and William: "Prince William was given one of the green fruit – wrapped up in a bow – by a little boy who's mother is suffering during her pregnancy too... 'He said he'd take it to [Kate] and see what happens – and said good luck for [the boy's] mummy.'" Express: Sept. 14, 2017

Meghan: "The pregnant Duchess of Sussex and so-called 'avocado on toast whisperer' is wolfing down a fruit linked to water shortages, illegal deforestation and all round general environmental devastation." Express: Jan. 23, 2019

Kate: "Royal sources said yesterday that the Queen understood and endorsed William and Kate’s decision not to spend Christmas Day with her. One said: ‘Her Majesty understands that it is a dilemma that many young couples face and acknowledges how close Catherine’s relationship is with her family." Daily Mail: Dec. 16, 2016

Meghan: "The fact is the Queen expects to have the family around her for the festive season... to the Queen, for whom the tradition of the family gathering is a key date in her calendar, Harry and Meghan’s absence will be a matter of great sadness. It will also be a source of frustration." Daily Mail: Nov. 13, 2019

Kate and William: "Creating their own companies will allow William and Kate to bring out, should they ever chose to, myriad items of officially-endorsed merchandise from tea towels to coffee cups... Kensington Palace officials said they were doing the ‘sensible thing’ in protecting the couple’s rights." Daily Mail: Jan. 17, 2014

Meghan and Harry: "The Sussexes want to stamp their name on dozens of products including T-shirts, hoodies, journals and gloves for their newly-created foundation Sussex Royal... Experts said Harry and Meghan were actively preparing to quit the Royal Family months ago by filing trade mark applications to commercially protect their brand." Daily Mail: Jan. 9, 2020

Kate and William: "Prince William yesterday backed brother Harry’s brave admission of his mental anguish — and blasted the monarchy’s 'stiff upper lip' tradition... William said: 'There may be a time and a place for the ‘stiff upper lip’ but not at the expense of your health... '

"'Catherine and I are clear we want both George and Charlotte to grow up feeling able to talk about their emotions and feelings. Over the past year we have visited a number of schools together where we have been amazed listening to children talk about some quite difficult subjects in a clear and emotionally articulate way, something most adults would struggle with. Seeing this has really given me hope things are changing and there is a generation coming up who find it normal to talk openly about emotions.'” Sun: April 19, 2017

Meghan and Harry: "Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have bucked royal tradition once again with their latest TV interview — in which they claimed they were 'existing, not living.' The couple ditched the stiff upper lip of previous Royal Family generations and flew the flag for 'Generation Therapy' as they revealed their emotions to the world - but were they right to do so?

"What you make of 'fragile' Prince Harry and Meghan's comments may depend on your generation. Sun parents and kids reveal what they think of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex airing their emotions in public - and whether they have the right to moan in such positions of privilege..." Sun: Oct. 23, 2019

Kate: "It was reported that new Duchess of Cambridge requested her favorite scented candles and toiletries from luxury fragrance brand Jo Malone be delivered to scent the Abbey. A selection of candles, handwashes and lotions was requested, specifically in citrus spring scents including Orange Blossom, Grapefruit and the ever-popular Lime, Basil & Mandarin." Daily Mail: May 4, 2011

Meghan: "'Meghan wanted staff to go around with these atomizers, like spritzer guns, and spray the chapel with scent before anyone arrived. Royal Household staff stepped in and told her office politely, but firmly, that this was the queen's chapel and it simply wasn't appropriate. I don't believe they said no because they thought it could affect the chapel in any way. It was simply the principle of the thing. This is a place that has held royal weddings, funerals and even contains the royal vault. I don't believe a request of that nature had been made before.'" Daily Mail: Nov. 30, 2018

Kate: "As far as bridal bouquets go there was nothing particularly regal about Kate Middleton’s modest arrangement of simple, seasonal flowers. Like the bride herself the bouquet was effortlessly elegant and understated.

"Yet behind that modest posy lay a secret story. Kate, the commoner-turned-duchess, had painstakingly selected blooms with real meaning. She is evidently well-versed in the language of flowers, a little-known romantic relic from the 19th century.

"Hence the use of lilac in her bouquet, which signifies the first emotions of love, the lily of the valley meaning a return of happiness, hyacinth standing for constancy, myrtle meaning love and the ivy, which represents fidelity. Then of course there was the suitably named Sweet William, which is shorthand for gallantry." Express: Aug. 29, 2011

Meghan: "[Meghan Markle] was holding a wedding bouquet which flowers were replicated in Princess Charlotte and the other bridesmaids’ flower crowns. Express.co.uk can now reveal the children’ crowns were made of flowers that can be deadly, especially for children. Meghan’s bouquet was made of forget-me-nots as well as sweet peas, lily of the valley, astilbe, jasmine, and astrantia...

"Lily of the valley is a highly poisonous woodland flowering plant and ingestion could be deadly... As Meghan’s bridesmaids were so young, having this flower on their heads could be considered a dangerous decision. Other brides have also used this flowers including Kate Middleton, Princess Eugenie and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall." Express: Oct. 13, 2019

Kate and William: "The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh missed the small family affair. The decision is understood not to have been taken on health grounds, and to have been mutually agreed by the Queen and the Cambridges some time ago. The Queen, 92, has a busy week ahead, with high-profile celebrations in central London marking the centenary of the RAF on Tuesday, and a visit by US President Donald Trump in Windsor on Friday." Daily Mail: July 9, 2018

Meghan and Harry: "The situation has surprised some senior staff at Buckingham Palace, who feel that the duke and duchess should have planned the day better. ‘There is huge support for the couple in not wanting to conform to tradition. They are young, they are striking out on a different path from other members of the Royal Family and there is enormous goodwill for them. But they shouldn’t do that without regard for tradition,’ said one. ‘Her Majesty was already scheduled to be in Scotland for her annual Holyrood Week and had a prior engagement at the weekend. There is a feeling amongst some that they should have been more accommodating about the date.’" Daily Mail: July 4, 2019

Kate: "It is a fashion conundrum not many of us will ever face, but what exactly does one wear for tea with the Queen? The Duchess of Cambridge met this challenge head on yesterday by co-ordinating her outfit with the Queen’s powder blue ensemble... The Queen, on her first official event to mark her Diamond Jubilee, was dressed in a pastel hat and two-piece coat dress with military-style rows of gold buttons designed by Angela Kelly. Looking relaxed and elegant, her outfit was perfect for what looked like a fun official engagement with the girls." Mirror: Feb. 14, 2013

Meghan: "The Queen's aides had told [Meghan] she would be wearing a green hat as a mark of respect to those who died in the Grenfell Tower fire. The Queen is said to have been 'baffled' when Meghan turned up without a hat as she didn't realize she was supposed to wear one too. A senior aide said: 'I don't think the Duchess fully understood. This was not a request. Those are for others to make, not the Queen.' The Queen's staff are said to have noted the Duchess's mistake or 'lack of deference'" Mirror: Oct. 29, 2018

Kate: "We see a woman in her prime: stylish, confident and positively radiant, nailing outfit after outfit in the style stakes — and it’s a joy to witness... That old uniform of girlish dresses, tan tights and nude heels has been replaced by dazzling super-chic outfits to satisfy even the most exacting fashionista." Daily Mail: June 16, 2019

Meghan: "Proper royalty is about tradition and duty, self-effacing service and loyalty — year after year after year, season after season... That is not to say that a monarchy cannot or must not move with the times — simply that it has to resist the temptation to be buffeted by passing cultural trends. Fashion is the exact opposite. And as fashion’s most famous bible, Vogue exemplifies the transient nature of the beast." Daily Mail: July 29, 2019

#meghate #meghan markle #kate middleton #duchess of sussex #duchess of cambridge #double standards #brf #royal rota #tabloids #buzzfeed

125 notes · View notes

popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

Text

The Casagrandes Reviews: Croaked!

Halloween Havoc rolls on as we shine a light on the other beloved holiday on October 31st, Day of the Dead! Sid and Ronnie Anne’s well meaning plan to help Sid’s sister Adelaide move on from her frog’s death ends up convincincing the small child she has power over life and death. I’m sure all big sisters do that at some point. More about the whole being dead thing under the cut.

I’ve hyped this one up in both previous Casgrandes reviews, so as you can tell i’m excited for this one. As i’ve mentioned before but will repeat for anyone new here, I absolutley love this episode and when I did a binge a month ago for labor day of this show, it was one of the standouts by a wide margin. I only held off so long because why should Halloween be the only holiday I cover during spooky season huh? I mean yes it’s in my halloween coverage’s title but there’s always room for incusivlity. Like jello or Wolverine.

As for if i’m covering this show’s paired episode, the show’s episode for halloween itself...

Yeah I have nothing against the episode ITSELF, it’s just.. eh. I mean we do get bobby as a dracula and sid as a lobster, a cute dance sequence and Stanley griping about not getting to wear his costume at work, which is valid, and then wearing said taco costume at the end... it’s just wrapped around your standard “character blows off a family engagment for something that turns out to suck” plot, the only diffrence being Bobby being the best brother ever is supportive of Ronnie Anne going to a 6th grade party and gladly helps salvage the night at the end. And it wasn’t a plot I liked to begin with, so it had that going against it. And I Know, I tend to zero in on i’ve seen it before a lot.. but that’s because .. it’s OKAY to do a tried and true plot tha’ts been done a million times as long as you can do something entertaining with it. Both She Ra and Avatar the Last Airbender are about a world tha’ts long been conquered whose long lost savior comes to turn the tide of the war.. but that’s about as much as they share in direct comparison and both are fucking fantastic for diffrent reasons entirely. But as rehashes go that episode wasn’t BAD , just eh, and i’d rather focus on things I can write more about frankly.

Speaking of which, yeah I love this episode, and like “Mexican Makeover” it comes from Lalo Alcaraz of La Cucharacha fame, a comic strip writer whose also the show’s consultant for mexican culture, and is part of why the former episode disapointed me: because this one was REALLY fucking good. So enough hype , pitter patter let’s get at er. The episode opens with Rosa setting up a day of the dead altar for her Father, with Sid and Ronnie Anne wondering what’s up, with Sid out and out wondering if Day of the Dead is mexican halloween something i’m ashamed to admit I thought of it as for years and years, because i’m as white as I am dumb, and most cartoons didn’t go much beyond “the dead come back for a day” and get into the more metaphorhical aspects we get to here. I assume Coco is the exception, as is the book of life I just still need to watch both. And yes you may boo me over this, I certainly deserve this. I do however like this line as it’s a common misconception, and gives a lot of kids likely thinking the same about the holiday in the audience a surrogate.

Ronnie Anne also wonders what the altar’s for. Rosa, while minorly annoyed at the two is happy to edcuate explaning it’s a day for honoring your loved ones and inviting them back, metaphorically though the metaphor was lost on young me since both Mucha Lucha and El Tigre had the dead literally come back, via an altar with offerings of their favorite things. It’s a nice bit that not only explains the holiday for those in the audience who either forgot a lot of that (raises hand) or didn’t know any of that, and also helps explain how the holiday is metaphoircal, something I didn’t think about before because as we’ve established i’m kinda dumb. The point is I like it. Sid however gets an idea: Her sister Adelaide has been down in the dumps since her Frog, Froggy died, likely named after Big the Cat’s frog but this Froggy’s penchant for running off probably just got him ran over since Adelaide lives in the city and Frogger is sadly inaccurate, as George Costanza leanred the hard way.

So our ambigiously gay duo visit Addy, who being a 6 year old who just lost her pet is bawling her eyes out. So our duo tells her about day of the dead and they set out to get froggy’s faviorite things: From shoelaces to the hoppit, a frog themed version of the hobbit I both wish is real and belives is probably better than the second two hobbit movies, flies (with help from a dirty diaper because this show and it’s sister can’t resist poop jokes.. go with your audience I guess), and a lilypad. The result is this.

I”m.. not going to ask why a 6 year old’s frog has the frog equilvent of a naked burt renoylds on a bearskin rug photo, froggy’s sexy secrets died with him. But unfortuntely nuance is lost on a 6 year old, so Addy assumed Froggy was actually coming back and just grieves harder now. So Sid comes up with Plan B B: bring froggy back from the dead at the old pet semetary. Though since they don’t want to defile his body they try a dead ally cat first instead.

One Zombie Test Cat later, they decide sometimes dead is better and just go with plan b: Sid once had a goldfish that died and her parents got her a replacement, and since it worked on her, and apparently still works on Bobby, they decide to pull that. They rent a frog from the pet store. And if your asking “wait pet stores , even fictional ones, do that” and suprisingly.. no they do not, but Pete, the guy at the pet shop which is also named after him, likes Sid’s mom’s tour. Okay two questions: one is that little pete from the adventures of pete and pete all grown up? I mean I know what happend to his actor...

youtube

But in universe we have no idea. And Brendon Small, the character and the actor, showed up on Clarence so it’s plausable. And secondly where can I get the job as owner of my own pet store near melissa joan hart doing a gator show. I may have a career goal now.

So they sneak in subsittue froggy, and we get an adorable montage of Addy hanging out with Froggy the Second: Getting some son, eating flies (though Addy spits her’s out. She’s not Lana.), and watching the Hoppit.. as I wish to one day. I mean we see a trippy bit of it but not the actual thing.. I guess I can add seeing a full version to my small list of things related to this franchise that I only I want along with my a diffrent world-esque spinoff show following Lori and Bobby.

Addy happily sleeps after that giant ball of adorable, and Sid and Ronnie Anne take Froggy 2 back to Creepy Guy at the Pet Store.. I mean Pete.. I mean Future Me. So Sid pats herself on the back metaphoircally for the plan.. which this being a sitcom, naturally has kinda snowballed. Now Addy thinks she has power over life and death. Guess she has the same Christmas LIst as Crow

As not to break a small child’s heart for the second time in two days, our heroines decide they have to bring back her wish list: Great Aunt Milly, Old Mr Woodburn, and Abraham Lincoln.

Since they don’t have a time traveling phone booth, they’ll have to go with the next best thing, my boy Tio Carlos. Seriously why they don’t use this adorable nerd more is beyond me. But Carols being an adorable history nerd gladly agrees to play LIncoln for what he thinks is a play.. I mean greanted they could just tell him the truth. He’s a dad, he gets this kinda thing. Meanwhile our girls dress up like said aunt milly and shenanigans insue. It’s a really funny scene.. until it falls apart with the mr. woodburn impersination, revealing it was all a hoax, and sending Addleaide crying to her room understandably not wanting to talk to either of them. Still we got Carolos as lincoln. That’s not nothing.

But yeah having made things worse by accident, the girls go to Rosa for help who while understandably annoyed at the mess they made, is more than willing to come with and help. Because Rosa is fucking amazing ,that’s why. She sucessfully coaxes Addy out and then takes her down to the Casagrande’s place to show off her altar and explain the true meaning of day of the dead: Thinking about your loved ones.. keeps the memories alive. Thinking about who they were, what they loved, what they meant to you.. it’s not raising the dead.. but honring them. It not only made the real value of the holiday sink in for me but i’ts a good message for kids, and a good way to teach them about a holiday most probably didn’ know how it worked if they even knew at all. It’s a really sweet powerful moment, and the combination of alcaraz’s writing and Sonia Manzano really brings it to this scene. It’s easily the show’s best. Good stuff.

Froggy II interupts the scene.. turns out a trail of bacon bits, that we saw left earlier, lead him back, and Pete’s been following him the whole way and is winded because of course he is. We’re in the same blobby shape I get it man your fine. So with Addy already liking the second froggy, and having fully come to terms with the first’s death, Sid offers Pete tickets to her mom’s show in exchange for Froggy II, whose named that in this scene and who we saw in uptown funk. As long as it’s the splash zone he’s fine with it and Sid knows her mom enough well enough to know Becca would probably gladly trade a ticket for her daughter’s hapiness. Plus it’s easier to get someone to willingnly sign the wavers about getting gator blood on them when they already want that so win win. We end on a Day of the Dead party with the whole cast in day of the dead makeup, eveyrone happy.. except Carl who’se subplot of spreading marigolds everywhere I missed and he ended up at the Loud House. Why this didn’t lead to a crossover I dunno. I mean if Steve Urkel can jetpack into the family from step by step’s yard, why not? I know the 90′s were a diffrent time but this was a missed opportunity. Funny gag anyway. And scene.

Final Thoughts: I was pretty transparent with this one: I think it’s a wonderful, heartfelt, and well done look at day of the dead tha’ts educational without cramming the education part down your throat, like any good cartoon that teachs you something should do, and it’s also really funny and endearing.Not much else to say, it’s just really good and I was glad to highlight it and if you haven’t seen it, please do it’s perfect viewing for the season. If you want more Casagrandes I have two reviews under the nick tab on my blog, and will be covering the second batch of Halloween/Day of the Dead episodes later this month, along with the new loud house halloween special Ghosted. And if you can’t wait for either of those, monday i’ll be covering the new ducktales halloween special. Until we meet again, viva la muretos. Play us out Nimoy...

youtube

#the casagrandes #croaked #Adelaide Chang #sid chang #ronnie anne santiago #rosa casagrande #carl casagrande #froggy ii #nickeodeon #day of the dead #halloween #halloween havoc

8 notes · View notes

siriusist · 4 years ago

Text

My (Updated) Masterpost for Asexuality [2020]:

Some Youtube Videos I found Really Lovely and Validating:

Debunking Asexual and Aromantic Myths

Ace-Spec and Are-Spectrum Book Recommendations

And Some LGBTQIA+ Channels That Bring Up Asexual Experiences:

Rowan Ellis

Problems of a Book Nerd

Jessica Kellgren-Fozard

Some Shows with Confirmed Asexual Characters:

Sex Education

Bojack Horseman

Liv in ‘Emmerdale’ (UK Soap)

Historical Asexuals/ Demisexuals:

Emily Brontë: Emily Brontë was a very private person and as such it’s impossible to be entirely certain of her sexual orientation. Some Brontë scholars believe she died a virgin, never having had physical relationships with men or women. However, most Brontë scholars think that the content of her novels would suggest she may have been asexual, but she was not aromantic.

J.M. Barrie: The man who wrote Peter Pan into existence, was reportedly asexual. His marriage was never consummated and ended in divorce when his wife cheated on him. Because of his relationship with his neighbor children, and the subject matter of his books, some speculated Barrie was prone to pedophilia. Those who knew him closely vehemently deny Barrie ever exhibited such behavior. Instead his lack of sexual relationships was more likely due to his asexuality.

George Bernard Shaw: Renowned playwright George Bernard Shaw was a man far more interested in intellect than sex. He never consummated his marriage (also at the request of his wife, Charlotte Frances Payne-Townshend) and was a virgin until 29. Shaw told friends he appreciated the ability of sex to produce “a celestial flood of emotion and exaltation” but only as it compared to the “conscious intellectual activity” he strove for with his work.

Isaac Newton: Isaac Newton’s supposed asexuality is based on his recorded behavior and lifestyle. He had strict religious views, never married, was obsessive in his scientific careers, and supposedly died a virgin. Whether he truly lacked sexual attraction or was simply too immersed in making massive scientific discoveries to have a sex life is unsure.

T.E. Lawrence: Tragically, T.E. Lawrence – a man immortalized in the film Lawrence of Arabia – was sexually assaulted while held prisoner during The Great War. His lack of sexual and romantic relationships in life were mostly attributed to this trauma but some scholars argue he may have been asexual. He had no documented relationships with men or women. Most notably, since it was the turn of the 20th century, Lawrence was known to be non-judgmental of homosexuals. His personal orientation may have motivated his tolerance.

Florence Nightingale: Interestingly, though “the Florence Nightingale effect” is a situation where a caregiver develops an attraction to the patient they are caring for, the effect’s namesake, Florence Nightingale, was likely asexual. The famous nurse never married and instead chose to devote her life entirely to her work. She even refused a marriage proposal from a suitor who had been pursuing her for years. Nightingale rarely discussed her personal life and the term “asexual” was not widely used at the time, but asexual activists and scholars strongly suspect she lacked sexual interest.

Nikola Tesla: Nikola Tesla, the revolutionary engineer who was instrumental in the invention of electricity, also lived a life of celibacy typical of asexuals. He showed very little interest in sexual relationships throughout his life, preferring to focus on science. Many asexuals describe their lack of attraction as a blessing allowing them sharp focus. Once again, we have a person who could have been too busy (and brilliant) to focus on relationships, but who’s asexuality likely allowed him to be busy (and brilliant). [Fun fact: I am actually related to ol’Nikola. Sometimes it’s nice to even think about someone in my family being asexual, because it makes me feel like we’d both be able to get along together when we get fixed in our little studies, research, and schemes ♥]

Frederic Chopin: Famed composer and pianist Frederic Chopin is supposed to also have been asexual. While he lived with writer George Sand, she noted in her biography that their connection was affectionate without being sexual. She described their affair as “eight years of maternal devotion,“ also noting, “He seemed to despise the courser side of human nature and…to fear to soil our love by further ecstasy.”Whether Chopin was uninterested in sex, or had reservations about consummating the relationship for other reasons, is unclear. Many scholars believe the famed pianist lacked sexual desire altogether.

John Ruskin: Victorian art critic John Ruskin was known to be particularly uninterested in sex. Though Ruskin was once married, he reportedly showed no interest in getting physical with his wife. Typical of other asexuals on this list, his marriage ended having never been consummated.

Young Adult Fiction/ Books about Asexuality (NOTE: Some of these are coming out later this year, August and September 2020):

How to be Ace: A Memoir of Growing Up Asexual by Rebecca Burgess: Brave, witty and empowering, this graphic memoir follows Rebecca as she navigates her asexual identity and mental health in a world obsessed with sex. From school to work to relationships, this book offers an unparalleled insight into asexuality.

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, And The Meaning Of Sex by Angela Chen: An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that’s obsessed with sexual attraction, and what the ace perspective can teach all of us about desire and identity. What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face–confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships–are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience. Through a blend of reporting, cultural criticism, and memoir, the misconceptions around the “A” of LGBTQIA and invites everyone to rethink pleasure and intimacy.Journalist Angela Chen creates her path to understanding her own asexuality with the perspectives of a diverse group of asexual people. Vulnerable and honest, these stories include a woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that “not wanting sex” was a sign of serious illness, and a man who grew up in a religious household and did everything “right,” only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others. Disabled aces, aces of color, gender-nonconforming aces, and aces who both do and don’t want romantic relationships all share their experiences navigating a society in which a lack of sexual attraction is considered abnormal. Chen’s careful cultural analysis explores how societal norms limit understanding of sex and relationships and celebrates the breadth of sexuality and queerness.

Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann: Alice’s last girlfriend, Margo, ended things when Alice confessed she’s asexual. Now Alice is sure she’s done with dating… and then she meets Takumi. She can’t stop thinking about him or the rom-com-grade romance feelings she did not ask for. When her blissful summer takes an unexpected turn and Takumi becomes her knight with a shiny library-employee badge, Alice has to decide if she’s willing to risk their friendship for a love that might not be reciprocated– or understood. [A bisexual POC protagonist; adorable fluffy, easy and sweet read].

All Out: The No-longer-secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages: Take a journey through time and genres and discover a past where queer figures live, love, and shape the world around them. Seventeen of the best young adult authors across the queer spectrum have come together to create a collection of beautifully written diverse historical fiction for teens. [This features several different types of queer stories, from transexual freedom fighters, but also a very sweet asexual love story set in a seventies roller rink with a POC protagonist].

The Pride Guide: A Guide to Sexual and Social Health for LGBTQ Youth by Jo Lanford: Jo Langford offers a complete guide to sexual and social development, safety, and health for LGBTQ youth and those who love and support them. Written from a practical perspective, the author explores the realities of teen sexuality, particularly that of trans teens, and provides guidance and understanding for parents and kids alike. [Although this is a little rudimentary, I found it a great resource even in my twenties for someone coming out, or to slowly but carefully come out to those who may be uncomfortable or not understand asexuality, or not see it as a valid sexuality or lack thereof].

Tash Hearts Tolstoy by Katie Ormsbee: Natasha ‘Tash’ Zelenka has found herself and her amateur web series plucked from obscurity and thrust in the limelight. And who wouldn’t want fame and fortune? But along with the 40,000 new subscribers, the gushing tweets, and flashing Tumblr gifs, comes the pressure to deliver the best web series ever. As Tash struggles to combat the critics and her own doubts, she finds herself butting heads with her family and friends - the ones that helped make her show, Unhappy Families (a modern adaption of Anna Karenina, written by Tash’s eternal love Leo Tolstoy), what it is today. And when Unhappy Families is nominated for a prestigious award, Tash’s confusing cyber-flirtation with an Internet celeb suddenly has the potential to become something IRL if she can figure out how to tell him that she’s a romantic asexual. But her new relationship creates tension with her friend Paul since he thought Tash wasn’t interested in relationships ever. All Tash wants to think about is the upcoming award ceremony in Orlando, even though she’ll have to face all the friends she steamrolled to get there. But isn’t that just the price you pay for success?

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire: The story is set in a boarding school for teenagers who have passed through "doorways” into fantasy worlds only to be evicted back into the real world. It serves as something of a recovery center for boarders who find they no longer fit in, either in the “real” world or their own uncomprehending families. For a fortunate few it is just a way station until they can find their ways back to the worlds they do fit into; for others, it’s the least bleak choice in what may be a life-long exile. This unhappy ending for the students takes a terrifying turn when some of their number start turning up dead. A small group joins together in an attempt to expose the person committing these murders before it is too late to save the school, or even themselves.

The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker: What if you weren’t sexually attracted to anyone?A growing number of people are identifying as asexual. They aren’t sexually attracted to anyone, and they consider it a sexual orientation—like gay, straight, or bisexual.Asexuality is the invisible orientation. Most people believe that “everyone” wants sex, that “everyone” understands what it means to be attracted to other people, and that “everyone” wants to date and mate. But that’s where asexual people are left out—they don’t find other people sexually attractive, and if and when they say so, they are very rarely treated as though that’s okay.When an asexual person comes out, alarming reactions regularly follow; loved ones fear that an asexual person is sick, or psychologically warped, or suffering from abuse. Critics confront asexual people with accusations of following a fad, hiding homosexuality, or making excuses for romantic failures. And all of this contributes to a discouraging master narrative: there is no such thing as “asexual.” Being an asexual person is a lie or an illness, and it needs to be fixed.In The Invisible Orientation, Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people’s experiences in context as they move through a very sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones [A good beginning place to start if you’re considering your asexuality. Also provides reassurances about the most common stereotypes concerning asexuality].

Switchback by Danika Stone: Vale loves to hike, but kind of hates her classmates. Ash is okay with his classmates, but kind of hates the outdoors. So, needless to say they are both fairly certain that the overnight nature hike with their PE class is going to be a hellish experience. But when they get separated from the group during a storm, they have worse things to worry about than bullies and blisters.Lost in the Canadian wilderness with limited supplies, caught in dangerous weather conditions, and surrounded by deadly wildlife, it’s going to take every bit of strength, skill, and luck they can muster to survive.

Not Your Backup (Sidekick Squad #3) by C.B. Lee: Emma Robledo has a few more responsibilities that the usual high school senior, but then again, she and her friends have left school to lead a fractured Resistance movement against a corrupt Heroes League of Heroes. Emma is the only member of a supercharged team without powers, and she isn’t always taken seriously. A natural leader, Emma is determined to win this battle, and when that’s done, get back to school. As the Resistance moves to challenge the League, Emma realizes where her place is in this fight: at the front. [This is a third in a series, but the main character has recently come out as asexual at the end of the last book].

If It Makes You Happy by Claire Kann: Winnie is living her best fat girl life and is on her way to her favorite place—Misty Haven and her granny’s diner, Goldeen’s. With her family and ungirlfriend at her side, she has everything she needs for one last perfect summer before starting college in the fall.…until she becomes Misty Haven’s Summer Queen.Newly crowned, Winnie is forced to take center stage at a never-ending list of community royal engagements. Almost immediately, she discovers that she’s deathly afraid of it all: the spotlight, the obligations, and the way her Summer King wears his heart, humor, and honesty on his sleeve.To salvage her summer Winnie must conquer her fears, defy expectations, and be the best Winnie she knows she can be—regardless of what anyone else thinks of her. [Another POC protagonist and promises to be a cute summer read in the vein of Gilmore Girls. Claire Kann’s first book was the adorable ‘Lets Talk About Love’ which reads as an asexual rom-com. This also promises to be absolutely precious.].

Immoral Code by Lillian Clark: Ocean’s 8 meets The Breakfast Club in this fast-paced, multi-perspective story about five teens determined to hack into one billionaire absentee father’s company to steal tuition money.For Nari, aka Narioka Diane, aka hacker digital alter ego “d0l0s,” it’s college and then a career at “one of the big ones,” like Google or Apple. Keagan, her sweet, sensitive boyfriend, is happy to follow her wherever she may lead. Reese is an ace/aro visual artist with plans to travel the world. Santiago is off to Stanford on a diving scholarship, with very real Olympic hopes. And Bellamy? Physics genius Bellamy is admitted to MIT–but the student loan she’d been counting on is denied when it turns out her estranged father–one Robert Foster–is loaded. Nari isn’t about to let her friend’s dreams be squashed by a deadbeat billionaire, so she hatches a plan to steal just enough from Foster to allow Bellamy to achieve her goals.

Loveless by Alice Oseman: The fourth novel from the phenomenally talented Alice Oseman - one of the most authentic and talked-about voices in contemporary YA.It was all sinking in. I'd never had a crush on anyone. No boys, no girls, not a single person I had ever met. What did that mean? Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush - but as a fanfic-obsessed romantic she's sure she'll find her person one day. As she starts university with her best friends, Pip and Jason, in a whole new town far from home, Georgia's ready to find romance, and with her outgoing roommate on her side and a place in the Shakespeare Society, her 'teenage dream' is in sight. But when her romance plan wreaks havoc amongst her friends, Georgia ends up in her own comedy of errors, and she starts to question why love seems so easy for other people but not for her. With new terms thrown at her - asexual, aromantic - Georgia is more uncertain about her feelings than ever. Is she destined to remain loveless? Or has she been looking for the wrong thing all along? This wise, warm and witty story of identity and self-acceptance sees Alice Oseman on towering form as Georgia and her friends discover that true love isn't limited to romance.

The Last Eight by Laura Pohl: Extinction was just the beginning in this thrilling, post-apocalyptic debut, perfect for fans of The 5th Wave series. Clover Martinez has always been a survivor, which is the reason she isn’t among the dead when aliens invade and destroy Earth as she knows it.Clover is convinced she’s the only one left until she hears a voice on the radio urging her to go to the former Area 51. When she arrives, she’s greeted by a band of misfits who call themselves The Last Teenagers on Earth.Only they aren’t the ragtag group of heroes Clover was expecting. The seven strangers seem more interested in pretending the world didn’t end than fighting back, and Clover starts to wonder if she was better off alone. But when she finds a hidden spaceship within the walls of the compound, she doesn’t know what to believe…or who to trust. [I’ve read there is also aromantic representation in this book too, so helpful for the Aros out there as well ♥]

LGBTQIA+ Comics with Possible Asexual Representation/ Influence:

Lumberjanes: At Miss Qiunzella Thiskwin Penniquiqul Thistle Crumpet’s Camp for Hardcore Lady Types, things are not what they seem. Three-eyed foxes. Secret caves. Anagrams. Luckily, Jo, April, Mal, Molly, and Ripley are five rad, butt-kicking best pals determined to have an awesome summer together…and they’re not gonna let a magical quest or an array of supernatural critters get in their way! [I LOVE THESE COMICS SO MUCH I SWEAR THEY’RE SO DAMN CUTE ♥]

The Backstagers: When Jory transfers to the private, all-boys school St. Genesius, he figures joining the stage crew would involve a lot of just fetching props and getting splinters. To his pleasant surprise, he discovers there’s a door backstage that leads to different worlds, and all of the stagehands know about it!All the world’s a stage…but what happens behind the curtain is pure magic!

And Lastly, Extra Online Resources For Asexuality:

UCLA LGBT Campus Resource Center: Asexuality

The Trevor Project on Asexuality

Campus Pride: Asexuality

The Canadian Centre for Gender Diversity and Awareness

Asexuality needs to be a recognized as its own, unique sexual orientation, Canadian experts say

Asexuality.org

A Lot of Ace (An Ace Positivity Blog on Tumblr ♥)

#asexuality #masterpost #lgbt+#lgbtqia+#queer masterpost #queer rights #queer history #queer literature #you're welcome #but honestly I love everything on here besides the shows which I actually haven't seen outright #but it's good to know those are out there #also I need to read the newest books of lumberjanes and backstagers #because they're adorable #personal #a-lot-of-ace

10 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 5 years ago

Text

754

Does anyone know your bank pin number other than you? Who? I don’t even have one of those yet.

Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend who was depressed? I'm not sure. I know she's told me before about being diagnosed with depression, but I’ve forgotten if it’s mild or severe, or if she has the whole thing or is just showing symptoms of it. She only mentioned it in passing so I figured it wasn’t something she wanted to touch on further.

Would you be able to climb out your bedroom window to sneak out? Probably but I’d have to be really careful to not end up shattering my legs or any other part of my body haha, but knowing me I’d probably land badly. I live on the second floor but the house isn’t that high, so I think I could give it a shot.

What would you do if you found out the last person you called was pregnant/got someone pregnant? I’d be very confused because she’s very gay and also because she’s only been staying at home since March.

Can you taste the difference between brand name food and store brand food? I wouldn’t be able to relate since store brand’s not really a thing here. Only SM makes their own stuff but they’re purposely cheaper because they’re meant to be of lower quality to begin with. Other than that, we don’t really have a choice but buy brand name.

Would you be embarrassed to buy pads/tampons/condoms? Which one more? Just the tampons, probably. I never need condoms so I have no reason to feel awkward buying them, and in fact I’ve volunteered to buy them for Angela whenever she feels shy haha; I definitely have no reason to be embarrassed buying pads because periods are a thing. I will likely feel most awkward getting tampons since I don’t know any one person who uses them where I live and it’ll most likely be seen as an unusual purchase since they’re quite uncommon.

If a stranger went in your room, would they be able to tell what gender you are from just looking at it? Probably. I have a poster of Nam Joo Hyuk, several Audrey Hepburn memorabilia, and a lot of pink stuff so it very much looks like a stereotypical girly room. I do think it’s kinda balanced out by the amount of WWE merch I own, but yeah otherwise my other stuff screams girly.

Are your parents gullible? When it comes to home stuff my mom is basically a witch; she can immediately tell if my dog peed somewhere, if I lost something, or if a dining chair isn’t positioned right. But when it comes to fake news on Facebook she will occasionally flock to them hahaha I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to remind her that phones DO NOT emit radiation from 12AM to 5AM and that it’s only a ploy to get people to sleep early lmfao. My dad is pretty intelligent and won’t be easily fooled about anything.

Do you still own a VCR? I know my parents owned one but I don’t know if they still brought it here when we moved 12 years ago or if they already threw it out.

About how much money have you spent on food in the past two weeks? :( Zero pesos. The only thing I’ve spent on this entire quarantine was a bottle of soju I asked my dad to buy and I paid him after.

If you were in a car accident would the last person you kissed care? Yes.

If you were looking for a new pair of shoes where would you go? UPTC since they have like ten shoe stores there.

How much was the last pair of shoes you bought? I haven’t had a new pair in like a year now, but the last one we bought cost arounddddd ₱4200, if I remember correctly.

What color is the computer/laptop you’re on? Did you buy it yourself? Gray. No, it was a gift from my parents.

Do you have a second home? I guess I count my childhood home my second home. My grandma and cousins remain in that house, so we visit from time to time and when we’re there I’ve noticed that I still retain the same tendencies and habits from when I still lived there.

Would you be surprised if you saw the last person you texted smoking? I’ll use the last person I chatted in this context since I haven’t texted in a hot minute, and that person would be Andrew. I’d be quite concerned since they’ve told me they’ve quit smoking, so there must be something extremely stressful going on for them to start smoking. I’d check up on them immediately.

Does the smell of cigarettes, weed and beer repulse you? I do super hate the smell of beer even though I have no other choice but to drink it sometimes; I still find the smell of cigarettes disgusting although my contempt for them has lessened over the last few years seeing as a lot of people I know are smokers so I’ve been around that smell a lot, and also because I’ve started too. I’ve never been around weed and I don’t know how it smells.

Was the last person you kissed younger or older than you? Younger by a month.

Do you think people have any misconceptions about you? Not really? What I get most frequently is people thinking I was grumpy at first, but tbh I am pretty grumpy so they aren’t far off from the truth. With me it’s usually a what you see is what you get thing whether someone’s meeting me for the first or the 78th time.

Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies? Nope, not a thing here. I’ve always found the variety of cookies so fascinating though and I’ve always wanted to try the Thin Mints and Samoas since they’re what I hear about the most :(

Do you like waffles? They’re okay, though I only ever eat waffles with fried chicken and never just by themselves. I prefer pancakes.

Do you watch birthing videos on a day-to-day basis? Nah man wtf? I have no reason to be doing that lmao.

Do you find piercings/tattoos attractive? I don’t find either attractive. I get curious when I see tattoo because I wonder what the story behind it is and what it means to the person who has it, that’s all. As for piercings, I don’t really like them < Pretty much. Like I don’t go looking around for tattoos on a person to find them attractive; I just like hearing the histories behind them. Same with piercings, I don’t need them to be attracted to someone.

Would you talk to someone you don’t know on the internet? Only on social media that I’m already familiar with and comfortable in, like on this Tumblr, or Twitter, sometimes Facebook. I wouldn’t go to like Quora to ask something or join forums or even post anything on Reddit.

How often do you drink Monster? Never. Energy drinks scare me lol.

Have you ever made totally pointless videos with your friends? I’ve made those for myself, but not with friends. I remember filming a house tour with my flip phone’s video camera back when I was like, 8 hahaha I was ahead of our time for sure.

Do you like to buy those Warped Tour compilations? I don’t even know those existed. I just knew of Warped Tour and that all the cool bands of the time would play there, but that’s it. I’m clueless about everything else that goes on in there.

Do you like sitting on the inside or outside of a restaurant booth? You mean just a restaurant? Inside, for sure. I would never agree to eating outside and am always willing to wait a few extra minutes. I hate having to contend with passersby while I eat my food as I feel that it ruins the experience as well as the time I have with the person/s I’m eating with.

Do you own a nightgown? No but I had duster dresses that I’d wear to bed as a kid, if that counts lol.

Have you ever made a house out of a giant cardboard box? Probably not. My mom wouldn’t allow us to play with those and she’d immediately view them as trash that needs to be thrown out.

Have you ever made a tent out of sheets in your bedroom? No. I usually used the sheets as a cape or robe, then I’d pretend to be a queen.

Do your grandparents know how to operate a cell phone? My paternal grandparents do. My maternal grandfather used to regularly use a phone before he passed. My maternal grandmother refuses to learn :(

Have you ever had sex or something like it? Hahahaha ‘something like it.’ Yeah, I’ve had sex.

Have you ever read a George Orwell book? I tried reading 1984 when I was like 13 but didn’t understand it from the get-go. I haven’t continued it since but honestly I’m very open to revisiting it one of these days.

Have you ever worn fishnets? I don’t remember ever doing so. I feel like it’d be so uncomfortable; I hate wearing stockings as it is.

How many piercings and tattoos do you have? I only have my ears pierced and no tattoos < Sameeee.

Is someone in your family affected by Asperger’s? Nope.

In a hotel do you always nose through all the drawers and cupboards? Hahahahaha yeah, just out of curiosity. I’ve never seen anything interesting, but I keep trying.

Would you rather go out to eat or be eaten out? Be eaten out right now. I’ve had too much abstinence from sexual activity for my own liking lol < Ok it’s 1 in the afternoon but SAME lol

Do you always wear your seat belt? Honestly, no and it’s a shitty habit that I need to correct ASAP. I never notice that I’m not wearing them until it’s one of my parents riding with me and they scold me for driving out of the village without a seatbelt. I do put it on when I enter bigger cities with more police patrolling the area like Ortigas and Makati, or when I drive out of town, but usually it stays off.

Have you ever liked someone much older than you? No. I’ve had a crush on a teacher, but I obviously didn’t legit like him haha.

Have you ever been in a play? Just the annual school plays we do that all students are required to be a part of. I forgot to mention this in a recent survey but I was in an acting club in Grade 1 and I played Cinderella’s prince in our culminating play, heheh.

Do you have any secrets that nobody knows about? Sure.

Is there ice cream in your freezer? Yeah. My parents love ice cream so we always have an ample supply of their favorite flavors. Sometimes we’ll also have a tub of cookies and cream since it’s our (the kids’) favorite flavor.

Have you ever started to laugh but played it off as a cough successfully? For sure. I always laugh at inappropriate moments so I do fake coughs a lot.

Have you ever liked the lyrics of a band but hated the music? I suppose so. Hate is a strong word and I’d rather not use it, but while the music my girlfriend listens to wouldn’t be what I’d tune into on a regular basis, the lyrics are admittedly very well-written and intelligent and reflective, and I don’t mind it when she shares her favorite songs with me :)

Does your bathroom have a window? Yes but they’re high up on the wall.

Do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done? No, I’m really scared of threading :( Everyone always gets out of the salon with their eyebrow area all red and tingling and it’s enough to scare me off of threading forever lmao. I’m not very conscious about how my own eyebrows look, so I just let them grow out.

When you were younger did you read the A Series Of Unfortunate Events books? I’ve only seen snippets of the movie.

Who was the last band you saw live? Paramore. I miss them already.

Do you believe prayer really works? I’m not gonna invalidate the fact that it works for a lot of people. But it’s just not my cup of tea, and I honestly don’t know how to feel whenever someone says they pray for me since I don’t believe in it anyway. Of course I thank them, but on the inside I’m always a little puzzled.

Are you a fan of the band Gym Class Heroes? Never been. I know Stereo Hearts and that was always a fun song to sing, but it’s not my favorite either.

Frosted flakes or frosted mini wheats? I don’t really have either, but I’d go with frosted flakes I guess?

Have you been on a date in the park? I would love to have one of these if we actually had parks. How nice would it be to take a long stroll, have a picnic, and just sit on a bench talking for hours?

Ever dated someone you were best friends with first? Yes. At first I didn’t want to risk it since we were reeeeeally close, but I don’t regret asking her out.

Are there any diseases/health problems that run in your family? Thankfully no. Although my grandpa and his sister did pass from heart attacks and I’m starting to be scared that it might develop to be a pattern for some of us. But other than that, both sides of the family are relatively healthy.

Do you have asthma? No. But Gab does and I get really worried once her breathing becomes labored at night. I keep telling her to get a new nebulizer after her old one broke, but I dunno what’s become of that request of mine.

Are tongue piercings slutty? No, and it’s not like being slutty is a bad thing lol.

Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? No one in real life but I do still have a crush on CM Punk who’s turning 42 this year hahah. I don’t think that crush is ever gonna go away.

Last person to take off your pants, besides you? Gab.

Do you remember those cool highlighters that smelled like popcorn? I knew about markers and ballpens, but not highlighters.

Might you enjoy hanging out in the woods for day or two? No thanks. I’d rather have somewhere to go home to or rest at by the end of the day, and if I was gonna do this I prefer to be with someone who knows a thing or two about surviving in the woods.

Have you ever written something on a bathroom stall? Nope. The worst thing I’ve done was write on one of the desks in grade school.

Least favorite alcoholic drink? Out of the ones I tried, I didn’t like whisky at all. Too bitter for me < Twins. I hated the ever living shit out of Jim Beam and Jack Daniels when I tried them.

Have you ever kissed someone named Paul or Luke? I haven’t. I have a cousin named Luke that I used to babysit and I kissed him a lot when he was a baby, if that counts lol.

How did you meet the last male you texted? I met them at the Marcos heroes’ burial protests. I have no idea how I started talking to them, but I think it was because they were wearing a Nexus shirt and I told them I like it, and we started talking from there.

Have you ever had an embarrassing email address? Yup. I wasn’t allowed to make an email address when I was young so I had to sneak around and make a fake Yahoo username so my parents would never find me. I don’t remember what it was anymore but it was for sure embarrassing so I’m just grateful my brain threw that memory out.

Do you put shampoo in your left or right hand? OMG this survey is so long. I put it on my left hand.

Do you have a bull ring through your nose? Nope, no piercings.

Do you and your dad get along? Better than my mom and I.

Can you see your purse right now? Nah, it’s in my room upstairs.

Are you wearing any perfume? What kind? I am not. I haven’t had a reason to in a while.

Are there products in your hair? Just shampoo and conditioner.

When you get colds, do you use nasal spray to help get your nose unstuffy? No. Whaaaat, those exist? I just blow my nose or just live through the stuffiness.

Do you actually like sneezing? I love it, it’s such an underrated sensation lmao. It feels better when you’ve actually been needing to sneeze for a while and it finally comes through.

Have you taken a shower yet today? Nope, I usually take them at night.

Do you have one best friend who is always there for you? I have two.

Do you wear skirts a lot? Not really, I don’t like skirts because I feel exposed wearing them. I prefer shorts.

Do you wear sweatpants a lot? Nope.

How many pairs of jeans do you think you have? I can remember five pairs right now, but I have many other kinds of bottoms in my closet like culottes and leggings.

Do you like hoodies? They’re okay. I find them more comfortable if they belong to someone else, hah.

Big ones or the form fitting kind? Form-fitting if I’m buying for myself; big ones if I’m borrowing from Gabie.

Do you wear polo shirts a lot? I never wear them. My mom made me wear them often as a kid and it made me feel like a boy, so I’ve kinda had a predisposition to be wary of them as I got older since I was teased frequently enough about being a tomboy as a kid as it is.

Did you ever actually have a rubber duck? I think we probably did.

Are you one of those people who claim to live with no regrets? I have one big regret and the rest of my ‘regrets’ are small and are stuff like “I regret not picking up food on my way home because I’m now hungry.” The way I’ve always thought is that I did the things I did before because I chose to do them and I was happy to do them, and I’ve honestly felt barely any regret even though things didn’t turn out the best. There’ve been mistakes but I’ve just chosen to learn from them instead of regretting them at the same time. Do you love your computer? Love it.

Do you drink coffee? Yeah. I’ve been doing it a lot this quarantine but I think it’s been giving me headaches, so I stopped for now.

Do you basically like all of your clothes? No. There are some at the bottom of the pile that I’m no longer crazy about anymore.

Do you shop mostly with your parents, your friends, or by yourself? My mom. She tends to know what looks best on me, and she also pays for the clothes hahaha.

#survey #surveys

3 notes · View notes

wideawokesa · 4 years ago

Text

Moving Past White or Wrong

"Dear White People: Just stop it!" – If only changing the world was that simple, right? We are living through extraordinary times. A feeling, a movement sweeping across the world, a change. The killing of George Floyd in the USA a little over a month ago – and in particular the videos filmed by bystanders of what amounted to a public execution – finally made clear to any compassionate person the police brutality that black and brown people face and have faced for decades, even centuries. The 8 minutes and 46 painful seconds it took for this black man’s life to end – with a white police officer’s knee on his neck, cutting off his air supply – woke many people up; and this new consciousness seemed to spread as quickly as the coronavirus. So why was this murder any different? Awareness of the devaluation of black lives has been in most people’s consciousness for a long time. But it wasn’t until Mr Floyd’s murder that something shifted radically. Maybe it was the fact that it was recorded? We have all seen video evidence before, though. It could have been the horror of watching in real time as he pleaded for air, watching his life slip away. Perhaps being stuck at home has made us more introspective. Or this video was (finally) the straw that broke the camel's back for the silent majority of decent people in a world that’s seemed to embolden intolerant views over the past few years. Of course, police brutality is not uniquely American. Closer to home, in the township of Khayelitsha in Cape Town, a black man named Bulelani Qolani was dragged from his shack naked by City of Cape Town law enforcement officers last week, without care for his basic human rights and dignity. Both these instances are the tip of the iceberg of a centuries-old system built for the privileged at the expense of the vulnerable. I live 30 kilometres away from where Bulelani Qolani was humiliated, in a formerly “white suburb” of Cape Town. But despite being residents of the same city, our worlds couldn’t be more different. As a white South African male, the colour of my skin and my sex have meant that I’ve been able to wander through life benefiting in ways I probably still don’t fully comprehend. The fact that just being white and male means many people assume I have something meaningful to contribute to a situation or have some great insight, when my black or brown peers have to work 10 times as hard just to prove their worth, is an example of this. White privilege is nothing new; it’s not a made-up expression trying to shame or demonise white people. It’s a privilege you either live as a white person or experience as a person of colour. Whether you choose to accept it or not is irrelevant, it’s a fact of the world we exist in. If you fit the criteria to benefit from such a system, it probably gets very comfortable over generations. I can understand why some white people would be apprehensive to let go of such a system – but I can’t understand why some would fight tooth and nail against levelling the playing field, and choose to play the victim instead. Two reasons I can think of would be that some white people feel they’re being personally attacked, or that there would need to be retribution if they admitted any ‘fault’. Until a few years ago, as a young South African born after Nelson Mandela was freed, I also felt attacked or intimidated just for being white. “I wasn’t part of creating the country's history. Why am I being blamed?” I wondered if I would have to forfeit things – money, my job, my parents’ house, any inheritance I might get, who knew? – to be seen as “a worthy South African”. It took time, growing maturity, and deep conversations with people from a wide variety of backgrounds, for me to understand what was really being attacked. I needed to look beyond the surface to understand what the fight for equality for all is about. I’m not saying this was an easy, A to B, process. It took a long time to accept the privileges and prejudices the accident of my birth as a white person had gifted me. It also awakened a larger conversation for me against any type of pushback. One of the biggest misconceptions about pushbacks in relation to issues of race, sexuality, gender or otherwise is that the conversation is a personal attack. It’s not, and you need to look beyond the surface of the discussion to start seeing this. The Black Lives Matter movement is not an attack on all white people, but rather ‘whiteness’ and the inherited, unthinking privilege that comes with being white in a white culture-centred world. Discussions about non-heterosexual sexualities are not an attack on all straight people, but rather the idea that heterosexuality is “the right way”, the ideal to strive for, and that other sexualities are immoral or plain “unnormal”. The #MenAreTrash or #MeToo movements are not an attack on all men but rather the culture of toxic masculinity and the repercussions of it. Those who refuse to see what is right in front of them or make endless excuses for the existence of white privilege or toxic masculinity, in a world rapidly evolving past the prejudices of old, are bound to experience pushback against views that don’t fit our current reality. And this is fitting. A society pushing to move beyond ‘tolerance’ to an embracing of other ways of life cannot and must not allow people who cling to prejudices any wiggle room or loopholes to allow their outdated world views further air. They must not be given the chance to opt out or think their views are anything less than aberrant. By drawing a line in the sand a clear message is sent that prejudices inherited from decades past are no longer acceptable in the 21st century. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in my growth process so far is that it was an incredibly freeing feeling when I finally accepted that the concerns and criticisms about a system which I have benefited from are indeed “my problem” too. It allowed me to feel more at ease in the company of people who are disadvantaged by this systemic fuck-up we all inherited. It encouraged me to mentally break down any ideas or misconceptions I may have had. We as white people don’t need to have been the actual creators of this system to take some blame for it. When we continue to live a vastly better life in all aspects compared to people of colour, we shoulder the blame. When we see what is happening and look the other way, we remain part of the problem. We are complicit. We can, however, also be part of the solution. You’re probably saying, “Easier said than done. Why don’t you give me examples of how we can do this if you know it all?” I don’t have all the answers and I don’t claim to. But I think personal growth and an easier co-existence in a changed world could start with acknowledging and accepting the privileges white people inherit simply by being born with white skin. We help to dismantle a centuries-old system and build a new one by acknowledging the broken system we function in, and trying every day to understand more about the reality of life for people who are seemingly different from us. We help by voicing our agreement with the ways the world is changing, in spaces where our agreement might make other white people squirm and ultimately question their own motivations in pushing back against positive change. There’s no way to know what will happen next, but my hope is that as humanity continues to slowly push and pull the world towards true equality for all, we can finally let go of issues based on specifics alone. So to answer the question I started with: Yes, change can be simple. The route to true equality is clear. We already have answers and solutions in front of us. And for white people to start to help, step one is for us to wake up and change ourselves.

1 note · View note