#But I do not really like it so don't say I have a “gay bias” or something

[lalagoona]

People cannot give me the "You're only defending Clankie because it's gay" treatment bitch I'm a g1 Drac*deen hater/j

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Intercultural Bias in the Fan Experience of QL

I've been thinking about writing this post for a while, and I think it's an appropriate time for it after reading @hallowpen's post today - which if you haven't read yet, please do so.

I'm saying this as someone who's been on a lifelong journey of learning, and is also extremely aware I still have so much that I don't know. I am from the U.S. and that comes with a truckload of bias and privilege. But this is something I have learned that I think is worth sharing.

There is a danger, for those of us who are progressive, yet grew up in countries that have been historically exploitative and oppressive to other cultures.

Because colonizer bias is insidious. And it can be very tempting to say, I'm aware, I've done the anti-racism training, I've read the books, I have my own oppressions I have to fight every day, I'm aware of my privilege, I'm an ally, etc, etc, etc. But this is just like racism - if you are not being actively anti-colonialist in your interactions with other cultures, you are likely perpetuating bias and oppression.

I grew up in a very liberal part of the U.S. and had a very progressive education starting from grade school. I got education on systemic racism in junior high, my high school had one of the first gay/straight alliances in our state. I studied science in college, but since it was a liberal arts degree, I also took classes on sociology of race, the religions of Asia, Chinese history, etc.

But despite all this I still grew up in a country with a fuckton of bias about our role in how we interact with countries around the world. And as we all do with bias that we grow up with, I internalized some of that.

It wasn't until I took some graduate coursework on Intercultural Training & Communication that I really was able to recontextualize my perspective and become aware of my unconscious bias, thank to an amazing instructor.

Other countries do not need us to come in, tell them what is wrong, and tell them how to fix it. Whatever problems there are, there are people in that culture who know, who are actively working on it, and they know better than anyone outside what needs to be done.

Honestly, it doesn't even need to extend to other countries - just look at all the nonprofits and charities in the U.S. that talk about helping the poor, but in the end just perpetuate the cycle of oppression by coming in to neighborhoods and doing zero work to center the perspectives of the people most affected.

You can absolutely support and spread awareness and send money and share expertise when asked, and do the things that the people of that culture ask you to do.

But if you come in, and try to say "this is what you all are doing wrong, and this is what you should be doing" - you are perpetuating a colonialist mindset.

And yes, this extends to media as well.

This is why I struggle with some of the takes I have read, especially those that attempt to rank the "queerness authenticity" of shows, from an entirely Western perspective, with no engagement with the idea that one's queer identity is impacted by one's culture (among other things), and that it can look and be expressed in a million different ways.

There are criticisms of queer directors, blaming them for a myriad of perceived sins, with zero understanding of what queerness might mean to them both individually and as a Thai person, and what they might also be trying to navigate socially, culturally, and politically.

There are people making broad sweeping statements about the direction that they think QL is headed in - some of which enter the realm of catastrophizing - entirely based on their own subjective opinion of what is most important for a different country and culture to care most about in a particular moment in time.

You know why I'm not worried about the direction of QL? Because I know there are millions of Thai people who care about it too. I know the Thai queer community and their allies are speaking up, and pushing for change and progress. I know that they are extremely cognizant of when representation fails, and I know they are the reason representation has already improved so much (sorry interfans, it's not about us).

And yeah, sometimes the pendulum swings the other way - those of us in the U.S. should be very aware of this. But the fight doesn't stop.

There are Thai people who are working to promote mental health and therapy, to encourage people to have strong boundaries with family who have hurt them, to provide more representation for groups who still aren't seen. And someone from a different country complaining about all the ways they think their culture is failing isn't helping a thing.

Like @hallowpen says, this is not about saying you can't critique. Most of the people I follow do a great job at making it consistently clear that their perspective is subjective, and they relate it to their own life and experience. That's great, and a place for people from different cultures to connect!

But those of us who are interfans have a responsibility as members of a global community. There are people from Thailand who read your posts. From Japan, from Korea, from China. Are you speaking up to support them? Or are you talking over them? Are you expressing understanding for what they are navigating from historical context and current political conditions? Or are you just lecturing them on how you think their world should be?

[drdemonprince]

Hey, I just wanted to thank you for your honesty and willingness to explain how queer spaces can be a lot less transphobic than discourse within the trans community can make it seem. A lot of the past few years for me have been spent closeted out of fear that reactions around me would be uniformly hostile. Things are obviously going to be different for me as a transfem, but I have a much easier time being optimistic now!

I am so glad! Listen, the people who post online all the time about how miserably hard it is to find a place for oneself as a trans person create a kind of reverse survivorship bias. They are the people who have already convinced themselves it's best to forever remain closeted or that forging any kind of accepting community for oneself is impossible. Often, they are also people who once harbored unrealistic fantasies about just strolling up one day into a pre-existing community that was perfect for them, not realizing that we must form our relationships painstakingly one by one (it tends to be the white eggs/unhappy lonely trans people who are most prone to thinking of community in that way). there's plenty of trans guys who are doomers like this too and they really tend to actively encourage one another to remain locked away. it's like incel kind of behavior when it's taken to its most extreme form. sometimes, it can be outwardly really nasty homophobic shit too (especially among "afabs" who complain about "cis gays" never accepting them and being super privileged). in its milder form, it's just extreme trauma brain.

The people you do not hear from so much are the people who are busy out in the world going on dates, acting in plays, getting their asses spanked in dungeons, playing tabletop roleplaying games, and going to farmer's markets with their three also transgender wives. Those are the people who know (that is to say, have learned!) how to interact with their fellow queer people, have spent some time out in the community, and in all likelihood have many rich friendships with cis lesbians, cis gay men, enbies, asexuals, bisexuals, straight ish poly people, and everybody else under our big umbrella.

I don't want to be overly pollyannaish because of course trans people have a tough time, and especially trans women have unfortunately to be on the lookout for really vile transmisogyny. But I think when people are wounded and traumatized by these things, they sometimes make the entire world sound incredibly unwelcoming, which creates a self-limiting feedback loop of isolation and mistrust. That is what trauma does! But it is not the truth. and we only learn otherwise when we give other people the chance to prove our worst fears wrong.

Like, just for an example, this Sunday I was at a silent book club at Dorothy, a gay bar on the west side that skews lesbian but is for everyone. I'd never been there before but it was an absolutely charming experience! Dozens upon dozens of lesbians draped over couches and curled up in chairs with their books, quaffing cocktails, alongside a few random dots of gay and/or trans men. Trans women were just a natural completely unremarkable feature of this environment. I couldn't even tell you how many t girls were there. It would be like counting plus sized girls or butches at this lesbian function. If it's a good lesbian function, there's gonna be a diverse crowd and it won't be weird or a big deal to anyone, they'll just be like any other women there. a lot of the big lesbian events here in Chicago (like Strapped) are organized by trans women, so of course there's a robust trans femme presence there.

And all of these groups at this function were getting laid. the couches were overflowing with women, so many that girls were grabbing pillows to sit on and huddle together with their books on the floor. Girls canoodled and cuddled on couches. I saw a cis alt girl covered in facial piercings flirting with a very prim and proper trans girl who was dressed like a victorian governness. they didnt know one another, but after the silent book club hour was done, they left for a while together, then came back with some food. across from me and my friends, i watched them gathering up on the couch, the space between their bodies slowly closing up into nothing over the course of the evening. they flirted and touched and then left the bar together to (and im no expert on body language but i could pick up on this one) fuck eachothers tits right off.

and of course plenty of other lesbians and wlw paired off or tripled off and had their fun too. again, just like steamworks, fat people, thin people, black and brown people, white people, disabled people, neurodivergent people, trans people, older people, younger people, everybody was there. like any good queer space, it was just a reflection of humanity. there is always more that can be done to make these spaces more broadly accessible to full community. but part of that is by putting ourselves there.

again i dont mean to make it sound like finding and making one's space is easy! especially not for trans women! but I also don't want people to get seduced by the hopeless jadedness that some foment online. there are spaces that some trans women I know will never go to -- even an explicitly trans affirming bookstore like Women and Children First gives many trans women I know bad vibes they cant quite explain but all feel (the store is owned and run by old white cis lesbians, it's not surprising to me that it's a little fucked no matter their good intentions) -- and ive heard people say transmisogynistic stuff at events, particularly from "ill date anybody but cis men" type t boys (my brothers, i hate you). shit can be tough. very tough. but also, the world isn't all uniformly as hostile as it's made out to be. there are people who are desperate to meet you. I hope you will come out to find them.

[barrenclan]

hey, read the most recent issue- as an aroace person, i have...alot of issues with the term "Mateless"?

unless it's in universe meant to refer to a cat who's uninterested in a relationship, in which case that's fine. but the implication i got was it being a term for being aroace (or at the very least aromantic), which is...not good.

it runs with the idea that aroace people can't be in relationships or enjoy being in relationships, which is really harmful. as an aroace person in a romantic relationship, and hope to add more people to said relationship if the time comes, i can say it's completely inaccurate to assume all aroace folk aren't interested in romantic or sexual relationships. being aroace just means you don't have the attraction, but you can still like being in romantic and sexual relationships with other people.

hope this was easy enough to understand- if not feel free to DM me or smthn and i can go more in-depth. this is also not meant to be hostile at all- since i assume it was likely just ignorance, which is okay! aroace stuff tends to get burried alot so it's understandable :']

Hi! I really appreciate your concerns, I'm glad that you said something - I definitely never want people to feel like they can't critique me or the story. "Mateless" does in fact refer to a cat uninterested in romantic/sexual relationships, like Asphodelpaw and Egrettail. In this universe, human terms for sexuality don't exist, like Pinepaw referring to himself as a "tom who likes toms but not she-cats" rather than gay or homosexual. If there was a cat in the story who wanted a relationship/sex but felt no attraction for it, maybe they'd call themself something like "a mate with no sex" or "a mate without romance", when we would call them "aroace" or "grey-ace" or what have you. Who knows! "Mateless" very specifically refers to Asphodelpaw and Egrettail's positions. Like Egrettail says...

I myself am aromantic asexual, with no interest in sex or relationships. However this does mean I tend to bring that unconscious bias when writing a-spec characters, and I do genuinely apologize if it seems like I was excluding aro/ace people who have sex or are in relationships.

[unreversedumbrella]

season 3 was a true loss for gay teru. i'm not really talking about shipping. (what is canon doesn't really matter for what people ship) its the fact that teru is implicitly gay in the manga, and very on the nose about it, but not in the anime. there are little moments, toned down versions of what we see in the manga. breadcrumbs compared to the original. but i don't want breadcrumbs. i want the whole bread.

i want this:

note: teru "shines" when talking with mob (from an omake and his shopping trip), something usually reserved to mob talking about tsubomi, but i have to reread the manga and confirm that.

so lets see why the manga works but the anime doesn't. i want to touch two scenes for now. again, i need to reread the manga

lets start with this gem of a line:

i made a post complaining about this, but people misunderstood my point at the time. its not about the words its about the face (although i think handsome makes more sense, the original means both cool looking and handsome). its about the overly serious gaze. an explanation i like is that, in the manga, teru is caugh by surprise (you can see him nervously thinking about what to say) which leads him to lose his composure.

this is the first and only time teru comments on mobs physical appearance, only to say he's handsome in a overly serious and nervous way. its far from the stereotypical getting all flustered reaction, but its still very obvious that teru doesn't really feel confident enough to share these feelings

you could say that anime teru has been waiting for this moment. he saw an opportunity and took it. but it takes off a bit of the impact, doesn't it?

once again bones changing teru's expressions. my personal interpretation is that teru is saying this both to mob, and himself. my idea is that he doesn't want mob to go out with tsubomi, but at the same time he doesn't want to get in the way. the latter feeling is probably aided by the idea that mob is perfect, an unachievable goal.

after his idea of mob gets less god like, this feeling disappears, which leads to my favourite:

this right here? THIS?? this is THE proof that teru is in love with mob. and its so on the nose im amazed studio bones had the guts to not show it.

this is really simple, so let start. while tome, mob and ritsu talk about tsubomi, their speak bubbles overlap a panel of a distressed teru. which obviously connects their conversation with teru's annoyance. its obvious the idea of mob dating tsubomi annoys him because he also has a desire, even if unconcious (but lets be real) to be with mob

AND THE ANIME GETS RID OF EVERYTHING. by showing teru after the conversation is over, they separate these ideas. if there was anything to separate that is! because they also got rid of teru's pained look! giving this more of a "someone just enjoying his tea" vibe. it was such a simple scene and they managed to ruin it

and people talking about the loud obnoxious slurp! i hear you. i get you!

but i can't do this!! this is breadcrumbs! i don't wanna do mental gymnastics to see him as "suffering inside" when its so obvious in the manga that he is suffering OUTSIDE (also mostly because this goes with the "you need a terumob bias to see this as terumob" idea i was going for in the beginning)

in conclusion

[py-dreamer]

Rant about shadowpeach (WARNING! Mac slander)

I'm sure you've all heard this time and time again but you know what screw it I'm tossing my 2 cents into the ring

I think my bias for Wukong definitely has a part in this but I will try to be as neutral as possible which is impossible. My personal opinions will absolutely shine through but it is just that: a personal opinion

I love my trio of gay monkeys, I really do.

Is Macaque a good character? Yes

I do think he's a genuinely interesting character, with cool mystery ,interesting backstory, cool powers, he's fun to watch, has a kickass theme song and aesthetic and I can see why a lot of fans attach themselves to them.

Do I love seeing him with Wukong? Yes

Their banter is fun, past shadowpeach can be sweet as sugar (or spicy, I don't judge) and their angst is real yummy.

What I don't like is when the angst is all Wukong's fault. And everyone and their grandma will harp on the Monkey king and just ignore all of Mac's bullsh!t. Especially in fanfics.

Like don't get me wrong, keep writing that good stuff! But like...jeez

The amount of smack that the golden monkey goes through in this fandom is like...yikes.

Look, I know we're all hung up about the bloody murder thing.

(Personally I'm on the theory that Wukong didn't actually kill Mac, if they were really that close he wouldn't have acted so casual upon their battle after he murdered him, but I digress)

And Wukong should be called out on that BUT.

Mac also isn't blameless here.

(If you like toxic shadowpeach, fine. But this is for peeps who think that Wukong is the only toxic one and Mac was just a victim.)

Take it from this perspective:

The two were really close during the brotherhood era. Wukong kept doing stupid things to gain power and getting them in trouble and in the final battle did something astronomically stupid and they all lost.

Then they all ditch him...leading to his imprisonment (five phases mountain) and torture (furnace and also being fed iron pellets and hot mercury)

Fair, Mac probably shouldn't have been trapped too but he visited once out of 500 years, had a fight and never came back by the looks of it.

He assigns himself the role of the warrior who always stood by his king's side.

And then ditched him in his time of need.

Mans really failed at his own self proclaimed job.

Fine, he probably should've taken a break, none of them were in the right state of mind and Wukong was being very bratty.

BUT

IF HE TRULY VALUED THEIR RELATIONSHIP (from the looks of his lil gay play, he did) HE WOULD'VE Y'KNOW. COME BACK AND TALK?!?!

If he really valued their relationship, outside of calling him a coward and LEAVING, never to visit again. Would that not be a perfect opportunity to communicate?

Like, my dude. He's stuck in the rock. He can't run. Could you not find the roots of the problem and solved it?

But lets say "He was too busy taking care of flower fruit mountain"

(despite him literally EATING one of the monkeys in JTTW, but that was JTTW and I don't think its canon in Lmk. But still, interesting to note.)

I'm sure his subjects were worried about their king? Did he never answer them? If he really valued their bond, could he not have I dunno, shadow portaled some monkeys to see their king or like put time aside to communicate and update the monkeys?

But lets say "He was too traumatized from the burning of his home and was too angry"

500 gosh dang years seems like a long time to take a break.

I feel like at that point, he should've let go of Wukong

BUT NOOOO HE DOESN'T NOW DOES HE.

We establish that their relationship is kinda wrecked.

They don't communicate.

He ditched Wukong for 500 years.

But when he see's the pilgrims decides that Wukong ditched him and the brotherhood..?

So by his logic, Wukong has abandoned ffm the brotherhood and him, after they ditched him under a mountain for 500 years, never visited, never talked, never tried to rebuild their relationship.

Sees the circlet being used, sees the pilgrims not trusting him, sees him go on this journey unwillingly, not allowed to leave the monk unprotected, and comes to the conclusion that Wukong is a traitor...?

But plans to free him because he's being abused and forced to do it?

Pick a lane my dude. Did he abandon you or not?

BUT THEN.

He impersonates him, destroys what little trust the group had

WHILE TRIPITAKA STILL HAD EASY ACCESS TO THE FILLET MIND YOU

hurts Wukong multiple times, till he gets banished. And tries to kill Tripitaka as he still had the bloody circlet?!

This isn't sad lover getting revenge at being abandoned.

This is bitter jealous ex getting petty revenge and still expecting to get back together like this.

Also he says he watched as the pilgrims tortured him with the fillet. If he watched them, he'd know that Wukong is also obligated to fight and most of the time he does kill them, despite the pacifist monk.

He's required to PROTECT THE MONK AT ALL COST.

So tell me...

WHAT THE HELL WAS HIS PLAN?!

He does realize that like this was mandated by heaven right? And there'd be huge consequences to killing the monk right?

So basically:

Mac: yea so my plan is to impersonate you and commit crimes you didn't do, get you in trouble and inadvertently hurt you severely, traumatize you even more then kill the monk so we can go back to flower fruit mountain like we wanted to right?

Even though there will probably be astronomical consequences for you, me probably the rest of the monkeys for letting me kill this monk on the trip mandated by heaven. By failing to protect him, redeeming yourself and also losing a close friend heaven might probably put you under another mountain again probably forever this time, and I will probably use my powers to get out scotch free and we'd all blame you even though I killed him.

But you're still to blame for abandoning me, the brotherhood and your subjects even though I never visited you after our fight, calling you a coward, immediately leaving never to come back and update you on what happened. Its your fault the mountain is like this even though I never asked you for help or advice or even contacted you to let you know our home was destroyed.

Meanwhile I'm the victim and you never valued our friendship.

.

.

.

This idiot-

In summary, he abandons his king, accused him for ditching them all comes back claiming to help him by antagonizing him, hurting him and puts himself in a position where he kinda has to do something?

Because Mac was set on killing the monk.

Everyone acts like he just visited, said something mean and Wukong played the stab game bit too hard.

But he tried to kill him and wouldn't back off?

Seriously what did he expect Wukong to do?

The fandom acts like he was given a pass to not die when he's already broken off the relationship and put Wukong in an impossible situation where Mac wouldn't freaking leave or let go about killing the monk.

I'm not saying that Wukong should've killed Mac on the spot. But I just wish that everyone stops acting like he was being such an asshole and killing him out of nowhere.

(for someone with six ears and is meant to be all hearing he sure is bad at listening)

Then he gets revived by the lady bone demon and let me check:

steals all of Mk's powers

tries to kill the kid despite having no bad blood with him

antagonizes Tang, ridiculing him and calling Wukong a coward despite ditching him under a mountain

makes a copy of the TEA van to kidnap and traumatize Mk even more

Traumatizes Mk AGAIN in the shadow play and steals his friends souls

Hold Mei and Sandy hostage for the rings and tries to squeeze the life out of them

Shooting the airship down (OOOHHHH WUUUKOOOONG this ape is down bad.)

Chokes Mei and uses her as a hostage again for the samadhi fire ritual

Immediately leaves after Mei's firey outburst

Wants to leave possessed Wukong to the clutches of LBD

never gives Mk the full story in the ink scroll that he tried to kill Sanzang or how he never came back.

NEVER APOLOGIZES

I don't even think Macaque has apologized for any of his bullsh!t.

Some of his acts were necessary but he just makes it uneccessarily cruel and revels in their pain

And the fandom makes them all buddy buddy at the end, excuse all his actions and collectively hate Wukong?

Yes he does help Mk in fighting possessed Wukong but like LBD's reign would end the world as he knew it. What else could he do? DBK would probably do it in his position.

But he never apologizes to any of the cast.

I've seen fics where he does apologize which is good.

But he also never apologizes to monkey king?

But that will be in pt2. Yes there will be a goddamn pt2 cause I've not even scratched the surface when it comes to fanfics.

But I will take this chance to share a fic that does tackle this issue really well:

Fractured Pieces make a mosaic by @furornocturna

Cause this fic is genuinely so good I am vibrating at the seams, its one of my favs (also furornoctura's writing is good in general)

One of the only fics I've seen where the characters all call out Mac being a jackass and in an interesting way.

One day I will make some fanart for this but till then this will do

Their writing is so yummy go check it out

[catpriciousmarjara]

Tell me: Is He Gay or In a Sherwani?

Imposition of western norms in fandom analysis of Asian characters

With the rising popularity of Indian cinema sparked by the recent success of RRR on international platforms as well as the easy availability of multiple streaming services, in addition to the appearance of South Asian characters in prominent roles in western, particularly US media, I've begun to see some concerning 'analysis' posts online. So I thought I'd address something I found common in most of these takes.

Guys, characterizing your blorbos as queer is great and all, love it, but you're making a fundamental mistake by making their clothing choices the foundation for your queer headcanons, especially when it comes to male characters. Do not apply existing western cultural ideas regarding male clothing onto South Asian characters and their dressing please.

The vast majority of the clothes being used by people in various online spaces as 'evidence' of a character being queer(gay or bi mostly) are just normal Indian clothing for men, like daily wear. A top being pink or a character's wardrobe being mostly pastel means absolutely nothing...cos Indian clothing tends to be colourful in general and the tendency to ascribe colours masculine and feminine qualities is considerably less in the subcontinent. I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but generally not a concern.

There's also this pervasive idea that colourful clothing = flamboyance = queer and that itself is something many people have already pointed as a deeply flawed way of thinking and a stereotype. Furthermore, even if you do lean into the archetype of queer men being flamboyant, subscribing to the 'stereotypes exist for a reason don't they?' school of thought perhaps, there's also the fact that ideas of what is considered flamboyant change dramatically across different cultures. What is 'flamboyant' for someone might just be normal for others. Like maybe pink or purple or yellow might be considered too much, unmanly, emasculating etc in the US or something but they're just perfectly normal colours for men to wear in many, many cultures.

It's the 'Is he Gay or European?' principle. Did you characterize this Indian character (or any South Asian character really) as queer because of their canonical behaviour and portrayal, or did you just see their clothing and decide they're queer because being well groomed and having a colourful wardrobe is a character trait you exclusively ascribe to being queer?

Like guys, I like Chaipunk like the rest of you, but if you consider Pavitr queer just because his costume is a lot fancier than the others' (An actual take I've seen multiple times) without taking into account his cultural background....¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Let me make this clear, I don't think people need a ten page analysis to imagine their fave as queer. Headcanoning a character as queer can have any reason ranging from 'I said so and so it is' to 'this is my light character analysis that makes a masters thesis look shabby' and they're all valid and an integral part of the fandom experience. What I am annoyed at are these so-called 'well-researched' theories that did not make the slightest effort to look into South Asian culture and simply transposed their western bias onto Indian media and confidently make flat out wrong judgements and mislead other people. Clothing based sexual identity determinism is the least of it. That I can at least understand through the lens of a habitual process built through years of analyzing crumbs of queer representation available only through queer coded characters and symbolism such as clothing choices being the only way to see an aspect of yourself portrayed in an aggressively heteronormative media ecosystem. I do that too, because media is tragically heteronormative everywhere. But the rest? Its just straight up misinformation and misrepresentation touted as truth.

Its the same with relationships between men. There are plenty of cultures where skinship between men is not unusual and dynamics and nuances tend to be vastly different from western representations of male friendships. In xianxia and wuxia fandoms you can see this same problem in a different font when outsiders, most often the western side of the fandom, try to apply their own standards and morals onto the original work and try to interpret it through a lens it was never supposed to be interpreted through in the first place, except maybe for comparative analysis. This practice itself isn't a major problem, its natural for people to apply what is familiar to them to try and understand something new. But when this is also accompanied by them foisting their personal interpretation and analysis as the 'correct' one and trying to impose it on the fandom as a whole, it escalates into a powder keg situation as you can imagine.

Again, not saying that western parts of fandoms are the root of all evil or anything like that, gods know how toxic netizens can be. But in this specific situation, where people try to impose western ideals on to non-western content and assumes the universalism of their own principles and value systems? Indeed an issue to be addressed.

[nerdragenewvegas]

Thinking a lot today about how despite my insane thirst for Joshua Graham, looking at him logically for 35 seconds made me realise that my years in the Mormon church were effectively years in a cult and how projection seems to change how people experience Honest Hearts a lot.

Like there's a huge subsect of people who credit the character with reconnecting them with their faith and I mean hey if that's a positive life change for you that gives you grounding, cool. But I really struggle to kind of understand that perspective of in to be honest because the point of the arc (at least to me) is that Joshua was using faith to project his own feelings and traumas and bias in a way that allowed him to somewhat avoid blame or responsibility in the event he learns he's wrong - he even admits this much depending on your ending.

First time around he did this with the Legion taking that place of a "higher power" once he was out on his own and seperated from the accountability that the other New Canaanites gave him, and when we meet him, he's doing the same thing with his Faith. And believe me when I tell you that scapegoating like this is so common in Mormonism that it's actually hard to clock once you've been in for a while, and Joshua is so good at romanticising what he's doing that we spend a lot of the DLC willing to believe him until he's about to actually do a genocide for real and we realise what's happening here.

This happens a lot in Mormonism with things like LGBTQ+ and gender stuff, where nice things like the Plan of Salvation (which can genuinely be quite reassuing and warm in a spiritual sense) are co-opted to justify homophobia and transphobia and misogyny. "I, personally, don't have an issue with trans people at all! But the plan of salvation is so clear about our bodies and how we need to respect gods choices in our design!" - despite the Plan of Salvation saying nothing about gender identity or expression and honestly kind of validating the idea that transitioning etc is also part of gods plan for some people. "I love lots of gay people and so does the church, but the word of God is clear that temple marriage is for men and women only." That kind of thing. "The whitelegs are gods children, too, but the bible is clear about how we handle those who would seek to harm this Zion we've built! I don't enjoy murder, but it's what God wants, it's a chore."

Realising this and then looking at times in my life where I saw this happen in the Mormon Church is what took me from "gently deconstructing and still believing some of it" to "I was brainwashed and in a fucking cult." So i always kind of struggle to see how anyone can get "I should seek God again" from this, but at the same time? I think that's the best part about Honest Hearts and a lot of Fallout NV in general: it forces you to learn not about yourself than anything else in the actual game. It's such a wonderful game when it comes to getting players to self reflect - maybe this is why it's so known for being the "omg I'm trans now" game.

What a special fucking game, huh?

[twig-tea]

Only Friend Finale Reaction

I want to write this down now because I suspect my feelings on this will change over time. In this moment, immediately post-finale, I am satisfied. I feel happy. I am glad this show got made, and that I watched it.

Only Friends was billed as the messy gays show. I went in expecting something close to Friend Zone but with more gays, and that's what we got. Not a Warped Effect with explicit morals and lessons about sex, consent, sexualities, kinks, etc., not a GayOK Bangkok which is grounded in realism.

And because this was Jojo and Ninew and Den and Best, it's still more realistically queer than any GMMTV BL to date, and there were some absolutely stellar moments that stand alone as moving, and powerful, and beautiful, and genre-changing. And so near the beginning of the show airing, I raised my expectations; maybe this show was going to do more.

But was clear by the penultimate episode that it wasn't. I wrestled a lot on here with my need for this show to be the one that finally broke up the mixed pair expectations, and let sluts be sluts, and finally showed a threesome, and maybe even gave us consensual non-monogamy. It didn't go that far in any of those realms, but it took a step closer on many of them, and considering where BL has been to date that's still pretty huge for GMMTV, and I don't want to lose sight of that or judge it for what I wanted it to be instead of what it ultimately was.

The other thing I wrestled with a lot in this show was what other people were seeing in it, and my frustration that people were taking away moral lessons that the show wasn't giving. I think I was successful in that I watched this finale with satisfaction for what I was getting, even though I know a lot of people won't see what I saw (and btw I'm not even claiming that what I saw was what the creators intended! I am not claiming superiority here, just bias lol). So I watched this finale deciding to take what I wanted from it, rather than what I thought it was actually trying to say, and for that reason I enjoyed the hell out of it.

So. Here are my takeaways from the Only Friends finale:

We got a three-way kiss, even if it didn't lead to a threesome, after teasing us all series that was still satisfying and we got it as part of a branded pair in a GMMTV show. It was fun, and messy, and I loved it. I appreciate that it was also...maybe necessary is too far lol but it was actually in service to the plot--we all knew Sand still had feelings for Boeing, or else he would not have still been so mad at Top that he was willing to use Nick and Ray to get his revenge. Not every emotional loose end needs to be resolved with kissing, but it was kind of fun that they tried (and I also really appreciated that it didn't work lol).

I loved that Mew and Ray talking as friends got them to compare notes on and eventually team up to take down Boeing. Their friendship really is the backbone of this series, and I'm glad it survived everything. Mew is so relieved to have someone else taking care of Ray because he never wanted that role and wasn't good at it, but he does care about his friend's happiness and is more than happy to step in when there's drama. I appreciate that he made really clear to Sand that his feelings for Ray are platonic, in the bar, that's the first time I've really seen him be truly supportive of Ray, and it was nice to see.

The Mew and Top scenes were fascinating. I think this is where I'm going to differ from the bulk of the audience and I've made peace with that. I do not find stories like theirs romantic--where both partners need to be in control and play games to stay in control the whole time--so for me, the fact that these power struggles were still present in all of their scenes satisfied my desire to see them stay together, happy but on edge. So. That scene with Mew and Top in which Mew agrees to live with Top but then asks him to apologize to Sand right afterwards; I read that as pretty manipulative on Mew's part, and Top's uncomfortable face at the end means that he felt it too. Maybe I wasn't supposed to read it that way, but that's why it worked for me. The ring, too, "now or never", it's not a promise of forever, it's a promise of the present [such a strong ephemerality statement]. The conversation in the bath in which they outline their needs and identify that they have contrasting needs, and say "I'll work on it / we'll deal with it when it comes" is exactly what I was expecting of this relationship. They're not perfect for each other, and they're going to continue to push one another. Right now they're agreeing to try, without a guarantee that it will work. Talking about their needs is good, but we don't actually see them trying, so it didn't hit as romantic as it would otherwise for me either. And Mew daring Sand to kiss Top in order to get them to be chill was such a Mew power move I loved it. He asked Top to apologize to Sand, and then forced them to be in close proximity before getting confirmation that Top was ready. Top apologizing to Sand in that last second before they kissed was him clinging for power while Sand was hovering over him, and it was a perfect Top volley. Constant power struggle, that's how I read these two. Mew teasing Top with whether or not he's slept with anyone else was so interesting considering their history around that--I was probably supposed to see it as growth in their relationship that they can joke about it? Or maybe they were trying to undo some of the sexual morality nonsense that made its way into this show by pointing out that actually it doesn't matter if Mew had been with anyone before? But what I saw was Mew still struggling to have a power foothold over Top now that he's moved in. I will admit the fire scene, at first, I was so confused by. Were we supposed to be moved by Top getting past his trauma? What was that scene even about? I think, in the context of Mew's struggle with his place in Top's life, and his power in this relationship, it was about Mew understanding the invisible support he provides for Top, and why he's important to Top. Mew watched Top be competent and collected in the face of a triggering event, and was impressed at how Top had it all together, but Top credits Mew's presence for that. I think it helped Mew start to actually see a future with Top, because he understands his place in it a bit better. Even if he feels like he's not doing enough, Top sees his presence as strength, so maybe he doesn't need to worry quite so much about keeping score. But that's honestly me reaching, I struggled with that scene and think it was the weakest in the finale [and @lurkingshan I read your post and could believe that your read is true, that it was there to prove Top did have trauma].

Can I tell you how much I love how this show ended, with Mix's character smiling at Mew, and Top's nervous look? Because I think we've wrestled with Mew's confidence in this relationship for the whole show, but it's clear Top still feels unsettled/uncertain in this relationship and I love that we ended with him feeling threatened. This for me was the perfect ending for this couple, and what I've wanted as their ending all along--they're happy right now, they know there are potential bumps on the road in their future, and they're not certain they'll make it through, but they're willing to try--but the threats are real, and present, and not going to be easy because this relationship is not solid.

I also really appreciated what was happening with Boston and Nick, even though I wish it would have been more explicit or done better; what we got was still better than I expected from a GMMTV show. I loved Boston dissuading Nick from following him, and finding the romantic asks to be too many/too much, and having a different definition of "boyfriend" (but not different enough to not like to Nick's face about where you were, Boston, I see you). I love that Nick didn't get mad at Boston for "cheating", understood what Boston was offering for what it was; I also really loved Sand's advice to Nick that just because what's on offer is laid out honestly and fairly, that that means he has to accept it if it's not what he wants. I didn't love Boston trying to backtrack when Nick decided not to take him up on it; but I did love Nick's response, telling Boston to own who he is rather than trying to be someone he's not.

I think this is where my attempts the last couple of weeks to let go of what people will take from this show has helped, because yeah, you can see this as the narrative punishing Boston for being a slut, but this has never been a morality play, and so I'm taking from it how I see it. And I see it as Boston getting a clean slate with a bit more perspective going to New York. What I would say to Boston if he were my friend: This friend group was a mess and they always judged Boston for his sex life more than was deserved; they also violated his privacy by passing around his sex audio and never apologized for it. Boston also didn't take their feelings into consideration when he decided who to have sex with, and he messed with their relationships which was not being a good friend either. Does he actually want them back, or is he just feeling lonely? My hope for him is that he takes what he's learned about other people's feelings--that not everyone sees the world he does, and he has to understand that people will be hurt by different things whether or not they would hurt him, if he wants to retain relationships of any kind including friendships, and decide whether or not they're worth making concessions for before hurting them so that he doesn't lose people he doesn't want to--and finds folks who fit better with his worldview and morals, and then is better able to keep them in his life. But also these people are hypocrites, and he should not take their opinion as a statement of fact about his worth. He didn't do anything worse to them than they did to him or each other.

I know a lot of people are going to see this storyline as a punish the slut story. I was wrestling with this two episodes ago, maybe that's why I'm willing to be chill about this now. I was hoping we'd get Boston as a reason to discuss consensual non-monogamy in a GMMTV show, but I am actually ok with Nick saying listen, I need to be honest about what I want and it's not that, and Boston you shouldn't be trying to give me what I want because that's not going to make you happy either. Boston being alone isn't a sad ending; to me it's the ending he was expecting and aiming for this whole time. The only difference is he's surprised by how he feels about it now that he's in it, and he's panicking a bit. Boston was not just a slut, he was a slut who didn't care about who he hurt; it's that latter piece that he's wrestling with in this finale, and I love that Nick told him he didn't have to stop being a slut to stop being an asshole. Honestly, he'll get to New York and be fine, I really think so. And I took the Nick/Boston goodbye conversation as Nick saying "I love you as you are, a slut, and it's ok to be that. Go be a happy slut!" Do I wish he'd said that more explicitly so that people would understand that? Yes. But I've given up on that.

Cheum not going with the group to the fireworks was so interesting in the context of our conversations about Cheum over the past couple of days. I took this to be the show acknowledging explicitly that she's not actually a part of the core friend group; she schemes to keep the group together (unsuccessfully), and we don't ever get a sense of why she cares so much about that--maybe it's guilt for helping push out Boston for something he didn't do, maybe she needs the security of the group she's got, we never get that insight and I'm still a bit sad about that. But she's not there for the big fireworks finale, so we're at least clear that the show never intended her to be a Main Character. And I was so happy we got her saying her plan worked in the pool. Maybe that still won't be enough to convince the audience that she's an unreliable narrator, but it was satisfying for me! Also loved her unwrapping the photo from Boston and the group's uncomfortable reaction to it. Maybe Chuem's going to keep pushing that they reconcile; maybe she's just delusional about how well her plan worked. Either way, the tension was fun. I didn't get the full resolution of her character that I wanted, but the show nodding explicitly to the fact that she keeps herself apart from the main group so I shouldn't expect it was helpful to me getting over that. And we got a kiss! And another tiny insight into their relationship; again not enough to go on, but i did think it really interesting that the two things we know about April and Cheum are: April appreciates Cheum's positive energy, and April has asked Cheum to be more honest and not just positive for the sake of being positive (about her films). So I'm reading this as that these two are just as messy and as likely to continue to have problems as the rest of the group.

Ending in Sand and Ray because I think this is the least ambiguous; I appreciated that Sand started doing what Sand always does and saying "yeah I"ll sacrifice all of my sources of income for you no problem" (WHAT) and Ray waiting until they're alone again to say "actually that's ridiculous don't do that". I appreciated that Sand's new year plans were all about Ray because he hasn't had anything push him into actually being more selfish, and the resolution with Boeing was done for him so he didn't have to set boundaries after all (called that one), so he's had zero character growth, actually. I appreciate that Ray pushes him to try to be a little selfish, that's the best sign that Ray is finally actually caring about Sand's needs, and that their relationship might work, that I've seen the whole series. I'm taking it with a massive grain of salt, because the plan is for Ray to constantly expose himself to alcohol and partying. I think this is set up to be just as tenuous as the Mew/Top relationship, but it reads a bit more lovey-dovey because they're in a less problematic place at the moment (where they have just resolved one of their insecurities so they're more confident in one another--but it's not clear how long that will last, especially with the threat of Sand's self-sacrifice and Ray's fierce boundary-violating in the face of any threat looming in the background unresolved). Sand expressing his uncertainty around his role in the Hostel was also perfect, because he is an outsider in this project and doesn't have a role, and it's a perfect point for tension in the future between them.

Even the way Yo warns the group of friends in the very last scene that they're going to have to be better to one another and less dramatic in the future if they want this hostel to last felt ominous to me rather than preachy; have this group learned enough to make this business work? That definitely remains to be seen.

Nobody should be watching Only Friends with the idea that it's going to give them any kind of lesson about what to do; at best it's a list of what not to do's lol. None of these characters are perfect, they're all incredibly flawed, and young. So their choices, including whether or not to stay together, whether or not to stay friends, whether or not to stay in business, should not be read as a moral judgment by the showrunners. I definitely agree that this could have been more effective as a message if folks weren't happy at the end. But I've given up on it needing to be effective for everyone; they stayed in character to me, and it was effective for me.

I recognized so much of my friends and my youth in this series, and I am so grateful to have gotten to see that portrayed in a show that felt like a rollercoaster while I was watching it; I literally screamed aloud, I cheered, I laughed, I applauded. This show had characters casually snort coke, hook up, flirt with their exes, kiss their friends, make mistakes, forgive one another heinous shit, be mean, kiss outside their branded pairs, and in some cases let one another go.

There are a LOT of ways this show could have been better. It was close, so close in some cases, to being amazing, and it's fallen short in a lot of ways. It could have been a subversive and compelling narrative about slut shaming and the toxicity of fandom branded pairs. Instead, it was just a show about flawed people being flawed. But I had fun, and I'm not taking away from this show that any of these characters were in the right, or that sluts are bad, or need to change--whether it was the intended message, I've given up on that because I legitimately can't tell and if it is the message, I don't want to know. I don't think it overromanticized these flawed characters, but I can see how folks could see it that way. I'm choosing to remember that these characters have all been flawed and shown to be flawed throughout the show, and notice the ways in which they are still flawed, and the hints that things will stay messy. Maybe this is a bit like those experiments in which they found the way people in incarceration watch Die Hard very differently from how other people do or how it was intended LOL maybe I'm working too hard to justify what was just bad writing and gross moral judgments and toxic relationships being portrayed as romantic. But it didn't land that way for me, so I'm going to celebrate that and enjoy the feelings this show gave me.

[sergeifyodorov]

I’m curious because of how you rank Cale, who do you think are the top 10 players in the league? (We can exclude goalies because they’re such an entirely different skill set but would love to hear their separate ranking)

oooh ok this is. an inchresting question... under the cut bc dashclog Et Cetera.... the cody sergeifyodorov unoffishul players rankings at This Very Moment In Time. get mad at me if u want idk let's dance

number ten: sidney crosby. Old Man Still Has It, More At Ten

number nine: david pastrnak. arguably -- and i am going to argue it -- the best pure shooter in the league. the reason hes not like theee goalscorer of all time is bc he generally lacks puck carriers/space creators/isn't much of a puck carrier or a space creator of his own, but like. based off shot alone? hundredth percentile.

number eight: elias pettersson. two way centre... the usual vancouver oish% boost but also just a fantastic dual threat AND a legit lady byng candidate with a penalty differential big enough to severely boost his value just based off that. like imho there's nothing that petey is specifically Good At (like how pasta is a pure goalscorer) but he's basically got no weaknesses. and hes gay

number seven: cale makar IS very good. conn smythe norris etc but most importantly he did win a hockeyblr babygirl of the year award so theres that too. some crazy bobby orr pointgetter. real good defensive results too. like hes crazy good and they say hes crazy good for a reason

number six: ill concede. leon draisaitl

[GAP OF PRETTY SIGNIFICANT SIZE]

number five: quinn hughes. i don't know what fuckass magic this sad little man has. decent finisher. great playmaker. best power play quarterback in the league. makes anyone who plays with him appear to be "oh shit, this guy's a great partner for hughes!" (i have seen this with at least 5 diff players, not one of whom anyone would consider Quite Good on their own.) L + ratio + oish% + makar has devon toews + youngest captain in the league + you bet that conn smythe and norris combo is his soon enough

number four: nathan mackinnon. best dual threat in the league (no one who's a better passer than him is a better goalscorer, and no one who's a better goalscorer is a better passer.)

number three: nikita kucherov. i want you to do something for me. i want you to go to espn dot com. i want you to go to espn dot com slash nhl. i want you to go to espn dot com slash nhl slash team stats tampa bay lightning. it should be sorted by points for you. there's dearly beloved creepy eyes keeta right there in first. 94 points as of me writing this. crazy number for right now. wolfboy of all time brayden point should be in second. take a look for me rn at the difference between those two in points. what the fuck

number two: auston matthews. is this leafs bias? sure. im a leafs guy. im just saying that he's a better goalscorer than ovi in his prime, and he's a centre and great defensively too. i could tell you that he is fifth all time in goals per game, and two of the four guys ahead of him were born in the 1800s. i could tell you that he has 48 goals in 52 games right now, and 0 empty netters. i could tell you that if you only counted goals he scored when the leafs were down one or tied, he'd be in the top ten in goals this year.

[GAP OF PRETTY SIGNIFICANT SIZE]

number one: connor mcdavid. he has almost as many assists as the second-best in his draft class (mitchell) has points. he has 930 points in 620 games. he is the only player in the salary cap era to have a 150-point season. idk there's just fuckin . no one like him. like generally an untrained eye can't really see how much better or faster any given player is than the rest but like. you can with him. he just Looks a step ahead of the pack. top five all time, and he's in his prime rn!!!! lets go connie all my homies love connie

[peachjagiya]

How Layover taught me self confidence

Or Why Biasing Kim Taehyung is good for your mental wellbeing

-----------

So I'm not even a year into being into BTS. I'm toddler army, I think since April? This video of the Sirius performance of Butter came up on my tiktok randomly and I Just Wanted To Know Their Names and now I'm here.

I didn't immediately bias Tae. I actually attached immediately to Jimin. I also thought Suga was grumpy and there was something going on between Jimin and JK cos I watched the official content and fell for the narrative 😇 (I wouldn't say I'm a former jikooker though. It lasted like a week then I got weird vibes from it 🤷)

I'm really into jazz and swing so Tae wrecked my bias with Le Jazz De V.

Then it really got serious with Layover. Specifically these pictures:

See this outfit rewired my brain.

Here's the thing: I'm a big girl and I've been uncomfortable in my skin and clothes for a long time. I'm also gay and that comes with a lot of style related baggage too. Don't dress too masculine, everyone will think you're a man-hating lesbian. You're wearing a dress, you don't SEEM gay.

It made me hate my style. Trying to dress to hide my figure but not look too baggy. Trying to be feminine but not too feminine, trying not to wear anything too masc, trying to be stylish, trying a lot of things that never worked for me. I have no gender dysphoria but I never felt happy in my clothes.

Then I saw a literal idol wearing baggy jeans and tee and looking so stylish with it and a switch flipped. Maybe a slender South Korean man isn't where I'd imagine finding inspiration as a British bisexualish plus size lesbian but I suddenly felt like a style was accessible to me. The jewellery, the effortless slouch... I tried it out and it sounds dramatic but it was like a fashion euphoria. I liked how I looked for maybe the first time ever. My tummy hidden but I still looked good and like I'd made an effort.

His queer coding is so important to me too. It doesn't matter to me what he turns out to be. His promotion of queer artists, films and music, genderless expression and demonstrated support for queer community, will always be important in helping me feel seen and valued regardless of whether his participation is as a queer man or as an ally.

And he has made me more accepting of my own neurodivergence. I'm a mum to a six year old. I do the school run and cook and pay my mortgage with my boring communications job and I'm really into BTS. It's a bit of an eyebrow raise for a lot of people. I'm not into diagnosing strangers but Tae's relentless ability to be himself, no matter how weird the rest of the world thinks he is, and being a hugely popular idol when the world tells you you can't be a bit of a free-thinker and successful at the same time... That's important!

So yeah. The other guys have qualities that comfort me too but Taehyung has had a profound impact on things that needed fixing in my brain.

And that's why he's my best guy THE END ask me anything I'll talk about Taehyung for hours.

(I'm sorry I ever thought you were just a grump, Yoongi.)

Are these dungarees/overalls backwards btw?

[my-deer-friend]

I have a two part question if that is okay!

1) What graduate program are you doing? Is it online? What was the application process and admission like? I really would like to get a graduate degree in history but I don't know if I could up and move for a year or so to get it.

2) How do you combat bias in your research? I know I struggle with preconceived ideas that I have or what I hope to be true, I just wonder if you have any advice!

Thank you so much for your blog and research! It's so interesting and informative!

Hi, friend!

I've skirted around it, but I'll say it outright here – I'm not going to say what program I'm taking. It's not online, but there are many, many such options out there that are. You'll have to do the research for yourself and see what fits your needs and goals. And the process is going to differ vastly by country and institution, so I can't be any help there either.

Now, as for biases.

All people have biases. Step one is to acknowledge that you have them, and try to pin down what they might be, remembering that even "positive" biases can be detrimental to good academic work. (Do some reading about unconscious bias. It’s eye-opening.)

Other people have biases too – that applies both to primary as well as secondary sources. Always ask: Who wrote this? To whom? From what perspective? With what goal, motive, ideology? What are they trying to convince the reader of? I always like to do a quick "bias check" before I start reading – who are the authors, and how might that shape their perspective? (For example: one of my readings by a British scholar very firmly tried to make the case that English, and not French or other continental European writers, were really the ones responsible for the Enlightenment. Now, that may be right, but I'm going to take that with a huge pinch of salt.)

In academia, your biases tend to be enforced by what you read, so the best way to minimise them in the first place is to learn how to vet the quality of sources, to read broadly, and to be critical of all of it. This is a challenge in sociocultural historical research, because we don't really know what someone meant, or felt, or did in between the points of evidence that we have, so a large degree of interpretation is present. And that is where the bias hides.

As soon as I get that "I want this to be true" feeling, I stop and examine it, because that's usually a sign that wishful thinking is filling in the gaps in my research. I wouldn't need to be wishing if I could back the claim up, right? So I look for the holes and the leaps of logic, and find a way to address them, and sometimes that means I'm proven wrong. (You will often be wrong. This is normal, common and good.)

I also find that bias creeps in more easily when making a broad and sweeping assessment than a more specific one. "So-and-so was gay" is a claim that is rarely possible to prove to any degree of academic certainty, but "this interaction between X and Y shows there was a homoromantic dimension to their friendship" is both useful and provable. Scaling down the claim you are trying to make (and the stakes you personally feel in making it) can really help to reduce your bias.

And of course, the tried and tested method – try to disprove your own claim. Have you missed any straightforward alternative explanations? Have you left unfavourable evidence out? Have you "creatively" used a source to make your point? (Biographers stop doing this; challenge level impossible). Are you leaning on logical fallacies or making excessively large logical leaps at the core of your argument? Would someone without your agenda be compelled to come to the same conclusion? And so on. Get someone to read over it and do a "wikipedia edit" (citation needed; said by who?; sources dispute this, etc.).

Good luck!

[bengiyo]

Top 5 beautiful boys you didn't know were beautiful until this year (whether because they're new arrivals or because you gained a new appreciation)

Ah, yes, my Bestie in Taste. Let us simp together.

Title Tanatorn Saenangkanikorn

I was aware of Title before this year from small appearances elsewhere, but I loved him so much as Saengtai. He is so ridiculously pretty to me.

Honda Kyoya

I get why everyone was sprung over this man in two shows this year.

James Supamongkon

Yes, we all chose King for our WOULD asks earlier, but I still don't think we've talked enough about how beautiful James is. I'll just use this gif of King's tits to help prove my point. He's prettier than the tits.

Net Siraphop

Yep, I'm including both of them. He was on all of our lists for a reason.

Babe Tanatat

A late entry but a new favorite. Babe is my current bias and I don't care how off the rails The Sign goes as long as he's still in it.

...

Oh, it seems I've run out of slots. Anyway, I'm gay and can do whatever I want.

J-Min

I actually liked J-Min a lot in Love Class 2 and found myself checking in for the first three weeks just to look at him before the show really hit its stride.

Daou Pittaya

I know Daou is growing his hair back out, but he doesn't have to.

Mashiko Atsuki

I would have finished My Personal Weatherman even if it was bad for his visuals alone.

Izuka Kenta

I love the way this man plays quietly unhinged.

Iijima Hiroki

I will watch anything he's in.

Nakata Keisuke

Truly one of the men of the year for me.

Lee Seung Gyu

Y'all should see his workout content on IG.

Thor Thinnaphan

I took notice of everything he did in The Warp Effect and A Boss and a Babe.

Im Ji Sub

I started this with Emily last night and her first comment after it ended was, "Jae Won is hot."

Ben Bunyapol

As NiNi says regularly: "I just know he's keeping someone up at night."

Poom Phuripan

So glad he's going to be in a show with Up Poompat! It's what we deserve!

Edit: I excluded the following people because I was already aware of them, but I loved them anew so I can.

Nonkul Chanon

I was aware of him and his incredible chest from earlier work, but he really was so stunning and so good as Jom this year.

Bright Rapheephong

I was aware of him as one of PP's video babes, but this man's eye work was so fucking good in IFYLITA

Ask me Top 5 BL 2023 Anything

[dnpbeats]

emma i need to confess something any theory about dnp fucking other people pisses me off

anon i'm gonna put about twenty disclaimers on this bc i'm not trying to start discourse but i must say i agree 😭😭 TO BE CLEAR at the end of the day we don't know the ins and outs of d&p's relationship, and we never will. as dan said in BIG ppl want to know who he's fucking when he's fucking them and how long he's fucking them but that is not our business to know!! so i acknowledge that my thoughts on this are my thoughts and they come from a place of personal bias and projection! so if u disagree that’s okay!! okay anyway:

yeah lmao i get that i honestly don't think that they are in an open relationship for a variety of reasons. like logistically speaking it'd be difficult (espc before they were out) and we at least know phil doesn't like one night stands, so it's not like they're perusing grindr every day looking for someone to hook up with. but also like all the swinging jokes are what make me be like yeah they aren't doing that bc if they were i don't think they'd joke about it sm bc i think it would hit too close to home 💀😭 also, i think people read too much into some of dan's comments during WAD. like i get it, yes he likes making horny jokes, but i dont think it's that deep. like even if he wasn't with phil/was in an open relationship, he wasnt being serious when he said cute mutuals slide into my DMs yk 😭 he's always made jokes about being thirsty it's nothing new. also he himself said that all his thirst posting were jokes*! and other reasons too like how jealous dan gets 💀💀

but i also think people have only one interpretation of what he says sometimes, for example him saying things like this: "This is my hot boy autumn right now and I am very much enjoying, for the first time in my life, being free and out and in the world, being able to actually talk about things, being honest, being able to go out and have fun." which, if you want to interpret that as dan saying he's getting dicked down every night of tour, that's your prerogative! but i do not think that "being free and out in the world" has to be about sex, like there are so many layers to that! i just take it to mean like being able to live authentically and exist as a gay man in public yk?

ive said this a couple times in tags on other posts, but i think that sometimes (not all the time!!) the reason why ppl come up with open relation theories is because it's already a given that d&p are together. like in 2015 you could theorize "are they gay are they in a relationship" because it wasn't explicitly stated by them. but now that they're explicitly gay, and anyone reading between the lines can see that they're together, you can't really "speculate" on phan. so, the next progression is to speculate on the exact nature of their relationship: is it open, are they in a qpr, etc. so anyway yeah that's my two cents 😭 if someone thinks they're in an open relationship that's fine pls don't come for me 😭😭

*I CANT FIND THE SOURCE FOR THIS but i know he said it bc i've referenced it before, when i eventually find it i'll put the link 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[synergysilhouette]

Changes I'd make to Tim Drake (Warning: may be controversial)

As my favorite Robin, I've needed to make this post for a long time. I know my opinions may not be agreed upon, but I hope my dedication is still appreciated, nonetheless.

He isn't dragged for his superhero goals--Any poor mistake that DC makes, they decide to pin it on him having poor judgement, which is really unfair. As many things that get ignored/retconned (even if they arguably shouldn't be, depending on the subject), it feels bizarre to drag Tim for things like his ill-fated "Drake" costume and era, especially when it was walked back on so quickly. On top of this, people seem to look down on him for genuinely enjoying being Robin. Robin wasn't always a "move on" position, per se; Dick had been Robin for consecutive decades before deciding he wanted something different, while Jason was murdered and became someone else as a reflection of this. Tim became Robin because he saw that Batman NEEDED him, and deduced Batman and the previous Robin's identities on his own. If he wants to do stop being Batman's partner (or sidekick, depending on perspective), it should be his own choice, not everyone else saying "this was a temp job and you're out."

He has his own unique color, costume, and maybe even codename--Even if he remains by Batman's side, Tim deserves to be distinct; his codename and color scheme are shared with all his brothers, and it doesn't do much for him. I'd definitely prefer a cowless take on his Savior costume (unsure about the codename; it feels a bit too on-the-nose, but it also feels like it represents his need to help others) or bring back his N52 Red Robin suit WITH the wings as well as making him the brother in purple, which goes well with the Batfamily's aesthetic as well as signifying his romance with Stephanie and friendship with Bunker.

He's going for a psyche major--I feel like this fits so well with his motivations. It's weird that the Batfamily doesn't put more stock in studying psychology outside of Harley (who rarely uses this skill, much to my chagrin). Tim wants what's best for everyone, and became a hero in order to help people. He isn't simply trying to stop problems, but prevent them and make Gotham a better place for everyone. While he can still go for a cyber-related degree (I don't remember his exact major), I'd prefer he also go for a degree that furthers his desire to understand and improve others, plus it's good to help him better understand himself as well. Definitely would've made this something he furthered in "Heroes in Crisis" (which I should make an post about another time).

He isn't bi--Hate me if you must. I'm a gay guy, and I just didn't vibe with this reveal. During the mid-2000s, it was stated by one of his artists that he and the writers kind of already saw Tim as bi, though DC never made this canon until 2021. As far as I know (as a 2010s comic person), it never seemed like DC was keen to lean into LGBT sexuality for Tim, and given that they've been treating him poorly post-N52, it feels like this was a random "let's find a way to make Tim as popular as his brothers" by making him stand out in a way that they didn't. I know this is a bold claim, but this is a feeling I've had for a while now, especially since his personal life now mainly revolves around Bernard (personal bias, but I'm usually not a fan of heroes dating non-heroes; I'd prefer him with Bunker--or Connor, if he's romantically into guys). And they haven't done him many favors since; DC infamously described him as the "always-online bisexual" in a now deleted tweet that embodies my concern that they're just defining him by his sexuality now, as well as a solo comic with horrendous art for most of the run. If Jason or Damian were depicted as bi (with the latter being the least controversial choice, imo, given his younger tenure in comics and romantic life not as fleshed out), I'm almost sure they'd be better handled, probably because they've been better handled as characters in recent years. Overall, I found Tim's retcon of sexuality unnecessary (yet we have bi characters such as Ghostmaker who were LGBT from the get-go and don't get nearly as much attention) and overall used as a metaphor for his "indecisiveness" at making decisions that DC forced onto him.

He still has a (biological) family and life--A big problem with writers and artists is that they sometimes have a problem with trying to make the 4 Robins identical in appearance and lives. Unlike Jason and Dick, Tim wasn't an orphan adopted by Bruce, not originally anyway. He had his own life and chose to be part of Bruce's world, and the need to make him an orphan with pretty much nothing going on in his civilian life was disrespectful (is he still an Olympic-level gymnast? Kinda love the idea that he takes time off for "me time" here and there and that's when Damian or another Batfam member jumps in). Let him have friends and family as Tim Drake, not just as Robin. Let Bruce be his dad without killing off his biological one. Let Tim have autonomy and individuality!

More A-list connections--This is being petty, but most of his friends are next-gen heroes with no major stuff going on for themselves, just like him. Surrounding yourself with important people can help you become important, too. I'm not telling friends to drop his friend groups (him and Conner have one of the best male homosocial relationships in comics and it sucks how they got overshadowed by Damian and Jon), but giving him more relationships with well-known characters could help his status. Plus maybe involve him in more teams outside of Teen Titans and the Batfamily; it's not good that he jumps between being an underrated member amongst iconic characters and a leader of underrated people. Just make sure he's not trading positions to become another hero's apprentice--there was once plans for him to be the next Blue Beetle as well as a temporary Nightwing, neither of which would be good for him, tbh. I have similar feelings for Starfire (we need more of her friendship and Superman; plus I'd love another underrated TT team led by Tim, perhaps with Ryand'r).

Never lose sight of who he is--The idea with Tim (at least from what I've absorbed) is that he's the most optimistic, maybe even naive, version of Dick, committed to wanting to help people and support them, and not one to brush them off of devalue them. He's got a heart, not just a brain, and I like to consider him one of the glue sticks that holds the family together. He doesn't need to be edgy or cool in the way that Damian and Jason are, nor should he be reduced to a sex object like Dick (which is another post entirely).

[fandomlurker333]

My Argument for Homosexual but Panromantic Art and Aromantic but (Something)sexual Tashi

@seek--rest I AM SO SORRY BECAUSE THIS IS A BOOK. That's why I didn't put it in your asks, so I could put it under a cut.

Okay, so I think it should be acknowledged before I get into my thinky thoughts that art is up to interpretation and I am not really trying to convince anyone of my perspective. There's a certain amount of bias that anyone comes into any experience with and it's going to color their perception no matter what. And that bias could be anything.

It could be the experience of having been cheated on and really loathing any kind of infidelity, emotional, sexual or otherwise. It could be being queer and therefore more fluent in queer subtext (though, of course, this movie was pretty blatant -- bananas and churros and boners abound lol) or being a black woman and sympathizing with Tashi's experience (which I am and do), or having been homeless/hungry and sympathizing with Patrick or any number of other life experiences that lends us to partiality toward one character or another, or more aversion to/disidentification with one or another character's plight.

So, I just wanted to start with that universal acknowledgement first. And then also say that I love each of these characters in their own ways and so when I say something that could be perceived as negative, like Art is petty or Tashi is cold, or Patrick is trash, I mean it in the most loving of ways. lol Because I enjoy seeing complex characters come to life. I don't need them to be right all the time, or for their motivations to be simple. I prefer the more complicated motivations and relationships, tbh, which also plays a part, I think, in how I see them. My take on these characters is the least kind. I see them all as their worst selves lol

So my point is that some of this is just down to what we think. And we won't ever be on the same page, because we're different people. With all that said...this is why Art's feelings for Tashi are ambiguous to me and why I think Tashi could be read as aromantic (not just not in love with Art, but not in love with Patrick either. Not in love with anyone, just in love with tennis.)

It's been clearly stated by the director himself that the movie is queer, which is, in large part, a reference to Art and Patrick's non-platonic relationship to one another. Poly relationships could be argued to be inherently queer, even if the relationships are all hetero-romantic, but I don't think that's how it was being used. Everyone, down to the actors themselves and the people who made the soundtrack are aware of the movie being about "Unending Homoerotic Desire". That's gay. lol It's not JUST gay, but it is gay.

And to me, this desire is seen to be mutual from pretty early in the film, both by how they look at each other and interact with each other and through Tashi's recognition of their intimacy. i.e. working deliberately to get them kissing (not holding hands, not hugging, kissing, something romantic/sexual) -- Tashi, to whom tennis is a relationship. Who noted that they are Fire&Ice and was drawn to them (Both of them together, not separately!) enough to come into their space and fuck around. lol

We learn quickly that they've shared bunks since they were around 12 years old, that Patrick was essentially Art's first sexual experience, that they're incredibly tactile, attached at the hip, and that they move in unison.

My read of Tashi here is that she's young and having fun, and she has her whole life of tennis stardom ahead of her. And she's an enigma to them. I would argue that much of both their attraction to Tashi has much to do with her dominance on the court, her ferocity, her skill, and her take no bullshit attitude. I think it has as little to do with her gender and her physical makeup as it has to do with her race or whether she's left-handed. Tashi OWNS the Tennis court and that's hot.

But if we're going to talk just about physical attraction and sexual desire, I'd argue Patrick's desire is put front and center. Art's is....more questionable. Patrick is the one who shows Tashi to Art. He's the one who has been following her game, knows who she is. Has watched her play. It's established right away that Patrick finds her "hot". Art asks why he's into her "Is it her game?" (his first thought is her skill, not whether she's pretty), and Patrick clarifies, no, she's the hottest woman he's ever seen.

Small, yes. And something I can see a lot of people disregarding, but since it's already been established this is a queer film, and we have little dialogue to go off of, I think it's significant that Art's frame of reference, or the way he relates to women is immediately presented as non-sexual. For a horny 18-year old this is notable.

Then we have Art say, "Look at that Backhand" in a dreamy voice. Not, look at those legs, or look at that ass. Patrick grabs his leg in excitement, eyes only on Tashi. And then we have two boners. lol Okay, yes, Tashi is without a doubt a part of this, but the camera didn't show that touch for no reason. Patrick is not outside of the bubble of desire for Art, even here. He's adding to it. And later we get something along the lines of Art saying, "that scream". Okay, so Art's drawn in by her, yes. He seems to be mesmerized and in awe of her power and skill, how wild she is on the court.

Later at the party, again, Patrick is the one to articulate sexual feelings tied to whatever makes him mesmerized about Tashi Duncan, "I'd let her fuck me with a racket," visceral, physical, sexual, tangible.

They both watch her on the dance floor, again, there IS desire, but that desire for Art is not articulated, and STILL Patrick is present, being very vocal about his. So, for me, it's all tied together -- there is no separating Art's desire for Tashi from Patrick's desire. We only see it with Patrick present. (Throughout the whole film! Because scenes with just Tashi and Art, throughout the entire film, are without the evident heat, fire, and urgency that is very much present with Patrick and Tashi. I'll get to Art's ahem performance issues in a bit, but yeah )

Then the introduction, Okay. There's this kinda immediate back-and-forth with Patrick and Tashi. And Art's quieter, almost left out of the conversation until he inserts himself. Then she leaves them dizzy in her wake. And Art says they should go. Some might say, "oh poor doggo just didn't think he'd have a chance." Maybe! Or maybe he really was just going to leave without shooting his shot because he wasn't running this show, flirting with her wasn't driven by his desire. It was driven by Patrick's. It was enough for him to meet the future Queen of Tennis, may she forever reign. And they could go back to the room and jerk off in separate beds thinking about her, just like they had that other girl.

He said, "okay let's go". and Patrick just sat there, and Art smiled knowingly, seeing he very clearly was not getting up to walk away. It was Patrick who pushed this. And then again, in the room, Patrick who was STILL talking about her. And Art said, offhandedly, not sounding miserable or even all that hurt, just kind of knowing and teasing, "she's not coming man." Patrick is obsessed, the way you are when you're really into someone. Art is...neutral. Did he find her magnetic? Hell yes. But does he see her as a person who he wants to pursue and further connect to? Not sure.

Okay, and then we have the lovely scene where Tashi asks if they've ever.....and Art get all flustered and No No NO, and Patrick is the one to let slip. And we're also given this lil tidbit that Patrick has dated girls, is apparently somewhat of a player, and Art is...what? Said to be dating no one, possibly having dated no one? Patrick jokes "of course he cleans up with that face", but it's pretty much implied that Art hasn't dated. Again, small things. But now they're starting to add up for me.

Between Patrick being his first sexual experience, Art apparently not being all that into girls in general, and the already established intimacy that they share, I'm thinking hmmm, maybe Art is in the closet. First thought, right out the gate. But maybe not enough for some people. Cool.

Then we get the game. And one could argue Art wanted to win to date Tashi. OR one could argue Art wanted to win so that Patrick wouldn't date Tashi. Hold my beer. lol

Lbr, do you know any 20-year old lad that, had they lost a bet or a game, and promised they wouldn't try and talk to some girl because they'd lost, wouldn't try to slide into the DMs anyway? Like, be for real. Art is quieter than Patrick, but he's smart, talented, cute, he is the one who makes calls during their double's games. He isn't some delicate flower who can't have a conversation. He can hold his own when he wants to.

He does just fine telling Tashi he wants to kiss her when he's good and ready, so if he wanted her, why not go after her? Or at the very least, why not attend her games at Stanford? Why not ask her out to lunch? Why not get close to her under the guise of exchanging messages for Patrick? Folks seem to want to paint him as a saint. He's a teenaged boy. No one takes dating all that seriously at that age, especially not in college, when everyone is hooking up. I'm not saying he isn't loyal to Patrick, but the occasional conversation? Or just being friends to be in her space, since he had so many feelings? Nothing?

And then the FIRST time in a year -- a year of Tashi and Patrick dating -- Art sits down with Tashi and he doesn't talk about her game. He doesn't talk about how beautiful she looks. He doesn't talk about how much he's missed her or what he'd love to do with her (or have her do to him), he talks about.....Patrick. lol wtf.

When Tashi asks him if he's in love with her, what does he say? He doesn't say yes. He doesn't even jokingly say yes, in a flirty, teasing way. He says "who wouldn't be." Think about how carefully that sidesteps her question. Not "of course I am". "Who wouldn't be?" That is not a yes, fam. That's a general, anyone would be in love with you because you're Tashi Fucking Duncan. Thanks, she knows, that's not what she asked. She asked if You love her, and we know how perceptive Tashi is, how astute.

She knows what she's not hearing. That's why she asks again 3 years later, slyly, "you still in love with me, Art?" knowing damn well that man never said he was. (This isn't just about what's being said, this is tone, body language. We speak with more than our words, you know? Anyway...)

So, Patrick comes in to visit. And Art is visibly happy to see him. And then Patrick says it's for Tashi, "Why do you think I'm here?" and look at Art's face. The man is NOT happy. Why? Because Patrick wants to see his girlfriend of a year? Who he talks to weekly? (Who Art already knows he talks to, because they've been dating?) Maybe. Or maybe because Art and Patrick have literally lived in one another's back pockets for 7 years and they've been separated, and the one time in however long Patrick comes back to visit and it's for Tashi. Might that bother him? No?

Okay. Then the fight, then the accident. And now suddenly Art doesn't talk to Patrick for YEARS. YEARS??? Someone explain this to me. Your here-to-fore best friend's girlfriend gets hurt, (and yes that's what I'm arguing Tashi was to him at this point, because aside from one awkward lunch that's all we have of their interaction) and you see it. And she's understandably mad, because she has to blame someone. And you're....Also mad??? Why, again?

Because she's the love of your life? Hmmm, reaching imo, Art barely knew her. They hadn't spent any TIME together. And this is where the realist in me comes out. Very romantic to imagine one night on the beach (with Patrick present) and a snog in a dank hotel room (again with Patrick present) made him fall in love with this woman, but I'm not buying it.

No, his longest lasting and most intimate relationship to that point is Patrick. And that's why the silent treatment is so peculiar. Even Patrick doesn't understand why Art stopped talking to him, and it's not because he's an oblivious dick. Patrick knows Art. He knows Art's patterns, his habits. And he knows Art's years-long freeze out just did not make sense, especially since Tashi had likely stopped blaming him years ago. I mean, Tashi clearly didn't blame Patrick for her injury when she and Art met up 3 years after college. So, if Tashi's not mad anymore (at him, specifically. she's mad in general at the world -- she's bitter and angry and in lots of pain. but she's not holding a grudge at him.), if she wants to move on, why are YOU still mad Art?

Make it make sense.

I argue Art was mad at Patrick for all of it. For leaving him at Stanford, for choosing Tashi, for taking their friendship for granted, for not prioritizing him. And then, somehow, for Tashi's injury too, because Patrick had the nerve to choose her and then be so insecure he couldn't go one day without fucking it up. And then Tashi got hurt and that somehow made it Art's fault (in his mind) and he resented that too. I think Art's resentment and anger was real and intense and I think even he didn't completely understand that this level of betrayal wasn't appropriate for a friend. But that's my take. lol

Anyway, then we get into Tashi and Art. And we see that it's been 3 years since college when they meet up again. So, Tashi had time to fully understand that the career she thought she'd have is never going to happen. And Art says she should be his coach. And she's a better coach than anyone could be, and Art, Art is good at flattery, and he's good at saying the right things and showing her that he'll basically be the anti-Patrick. He will listen to her, he will do as she says, he won't try to take anything she doesn't want to give, and he'll let her lead, he'll let her take him to his wins.

And Tashi, god Tashi needs that. Not a dick inside her. Not a tongue in her mouth. A body. A healthy, working body to mold and shape and make a winner. That's what she needs.

And so let's come back to the opening scenes. I saw someone say it was so crazy to see Art go from getting dragged out of bed to a physical therapist who stretches him out, to a nutritionist who feeds him and gives him his meals, to Tashi who instructs him and trains him. The man doesn't own his own body. He barely has autonomy. He's given it all over.

And if they love each other so much, they should happy with their arrangement right? But look at them. They sit on couches and benches five feet apart. They don't talk about anything but tennis. There's two scenes in the script (only one in the movie) where Art can't get it up for sex and Tashi is trying to coach him into an erection. Literally coach him through sex.

Not like...he has E.D. or he's depressed; then she wouldn't be trying to Jedi-mind trick him into getting hard. In the scene as written, she says something like "come on, you can get there. We always do" Always. As in every time they are trying for sexual intimacy -- which Tashi clearly wants, or she wouldn't be trying to get him there -- this is what they're doing. Working to get him hard enough. Yikes.

At their age, this is pretty confusing. So, this goes into my pile labeled, "things that make me think Art is not sexually attracted to women".

And then we have Art saying "I love you" and Tashi saying "I know." Art saying "I just need to know you'll still love me" and Tashi refusing to give that to him. Art having to beg for affection "just hold me?" and Tashi literally looking dead in the eyes as she acquiesces. This is not a couple that is happily married, if they ever were.

I think they've always had these issues, this mismatch in their needs. But Tashi needs to win so bad and Art needs so badly to give that to her, and to be something other than what he fears he is (nothing, no one). That, I think, is his biggest fear. That Patrick leaves him -- as he did -- and he's got no identity, no function. (This is where that part about co-dependcy the director talks about comes in. The codependency is not just between Tashi and Art). He needs to be able to be something without him. So he sets out to prove that and in the process what he becomes is hollow -- a machine. A body to be used for Tashi's win (HOT! okay, moving on lol).

I do feel there is love between them. You don't maintain a relationship, even a very broken one, for 13 years without loving the person in some way, somehow. I believe that Art has a lot of respect, admiration and affection for Tashi. I believe he loves her, truly. He might even be in love with her, but, from what I'm seeing in the "text" as you say (lol fancy term), I don't think he wants her. I don't think he's sexually attracted to her. Does he need that in a relationship? Maybe not, but he certainly needs a level of physical affection that Tashi does not seem very wiling to give him. Not if he has to beg for it.

Meanwhile, Patrick says Tashi hates Art, a little. And I think he's right. I don't think she wants to hate him, but Art is healthy. More than that he's recovered from an injury and she didn't! And even though he's well enough and good enough to win it all, he'll never want it like she wants it. He'll never eat, sleep, breathe, fuck, die for tennis. He wants to be good, he wants to play well, and he does. But that hunger? That drive that Tashi had (that Patrick also has) to be the best, to dominate on the court, that crazy, insane love with the game of tennis? That's not Art. Art is tired. And he wants to retire. And that makes Tashi hate him a bit.

Now, I don't think he's just a "dick and a racket" to her, but I do think it's interesting that she said it that way. We can't take dialogue just at face value. Dialogue is always doing more than one thing, especially in film, where screenplays are just dialogue and sparse action. She says it, not Patrick. And she's defensive about it.

This is another little clue on the pile of "signs Tashi loves Art but is probably incapable of being IN love with him". lol He isn't just a dick and a racket. He's the father of her kid (maybe! o__o), and the man who gives her what she needs to survive (the wins). But that's...pretty close to being a dick and a racket. lol And well, being a racket is a pretty big deal for Tashi.

Now their engagement didn't seem to be a particularly joyous affair. Tashi was drinking a scotch pretty moodily with that ring on her finger. You say you can't see her marrying without loving him romantically. And that's, again, a very sweet sentiment. But people get married for all kinds of reasons.

Art was already hers in the most important of ways. He'd given her his body. If he wanted her to marry him, why wouldn't she give him that? Who else was she going to marry? She'd gotten into bed with him (figuratively) for his entire career. Her life is getting him to win the grand slam. Her ultimate romance is winning that.

Tennis is her love affair. Why wouldn't she marry the only person who could possibly get her as close to her dream as she would ever get? They get the tax breaks, he binds himself to her even tighter. What's the downside?

And as far as the kid, I have theories (look at her hair!), but suffice it to say even If that's Art's kid, people choose to have/keep kids for all kinds of reasons, no? And it's not always "I love this person, I want to make a baby". Again, very sweet, but sometimes people decide to keep kids cause they hope that shared purpose brings them closer together. And I can see Art wanting the child and Tashi agreeing very practically, because why not? It's what families do, right? They could afford it -- they had present parents, and their kid would be the best tennis player this world has ever seen.

For all her passion and fire with Patrick, for all the sex and good feeling there, she doesn't seem to be particularly enamored of him. He's arguably, the person whose gotten the most from her, the biggest rise out of her, seen her underbelly, and he's the only other person in life she's gotten into bed with repeatedly (presumably). But she's not overly concerned with keeping him for herself. Or getting anything else from him. Monogamy. A confession of love. Affection. She even says it herself,

"Did I say I wanted anyone to be in love with me?"

Maybe she doesn't because she can't give that back.

Sex is shown to be something she wants and participates in with gusto. Romance? Mmmm. Not so much.

The most romantic thing she's ever said has been about tennis. Falling in love across the net. THAT is her romance. It's why she was drawn to Art and Patrick in the first place, Fire&Ice. She saw their intimacy and wanted to see it play out in another way. But ultimately she didn't even stay to watch them fuck -- she just wanted to see some good fucking tennis. And the most alive she looks in her adult life is after their match.

To me, you can see she's unhappy -- that she only feels satisfied when Art plays good fucking tennis, but Art only plays that way with Patrick, and Art was determined to freeze him out, so they were both miserable. Art without romantic love and affection, Tashi in a sexless, unsatisfying marriage. It takes Patrick coming back in to give them both what they need. They don't work without him, love him or hate him.

So yeah....that's my take on Art and Tashi. I think there is so much there, comfort and partnership and mutual need, but.....the romance people are seeing I'm just....I'm not seeing it.

And I didn’t really get to Patrick/Tashi, but THIS is part of it too.🤣