#But ALSO I am not immune to Sebastian . Sorry he can get it . Sorry for being right

[carnival-core]

Oh yea like I said I've been watching the Black Butler anime with my boyfriend (will not be watching s2 bc I've been told it's not canon and would just annoy me so I don't mind spoilers on it) and smth I will say about it so far is Ignoring the fact Sebaciel is gross to begin with besides the one dress scene there's been nothing even vaguely resembling chemistry so I can't wrap my head around what the appeal even ever was . Like even in a hypothetical where Ciel is like 18 (I'd prob still find the ship kinda weird but not as abhorent) their dynamic does just feel like World's Most Mid Father and his brat child

[philomenie]

Shadow Warrior

Hitman! Jolly - Part 2

CN despair, grief, mention of abortion, mafiatheme, violence, sexual tension, cheating, guilt, +18

If I forgot to mark something as CN, please let me know so I can add it!

@nojoyontheburn @jilliemiw86 @dsireland86 @aubrey-melinoe

ONE

“Doc Olivia, Doc Olivia....” excitedly, the boy scurries through the waiting patients to the registration desk, stretching his neck to find the doctor. “Carlos, what is it?” he can hear her warm voice through all the commotion in the emergency room of the pro bono clinic. Almost immediately, she appears in his field of vision. Tall, her slender limbs are clad in green surgical trousers and a green surgical gown, over which she is wearing a white doctor's coat, which urgently needs to be changed as there are various blood splashes on it. She has tucked her long, unruly, dark curls under a surgical cap.

“My mom... she's outside, in the car.... She's screaming!” Carlos chokes out excitedly, ”The baby......” “Fuck....” escapes Olivia and she quickly organizes two nurses and a stretcher so that Carlo's mother, who is probably in labour and too early, can be taken to the hospital's delivery room. She also hastily paged a midwife and the gynecologist. Fuck, if this really is a premature birth, they're not equipped for it here... the child and the mother will have to be transferred to another clinic.... But then what about the damn costs... Olivia thinks feverishly while the crying woman is brought into the delivery room. After making sure that Carlo's mother is being cared for, she goes to a quiet corner of the clinic, pulls out her cell phone and, after a moment's hesitation, dials the contact.

“Olivia.... I thought I wouldn't see or hear from you again so soon after our last meeting....” smiles the charming, soft voice of the man she would have liked to strangle again with the first word. “Noah.....” growls Olivia, who has taken on the pseudonym of Nobu Seiichi Doi, the now head of the Yakuza in America, partly to annoy Doi, who prefers to hear her say his real name, as he has confirmed to her several times. “Well, dearest Olivia... what can I do for you? That's why you're calling and hardly to hear my voice... or to accept my dinner invitation after all....” Noah explains with a smile. “I have a pregnant woman here who is suffering a premature birth.... A premature premature birth!” growls Olivia, immune to his charm, ”I need your help!” “What am I supposed to do?” Noah Sebastian Davis aka Nobu Seiichi Doi wants to know from her, irritated. “Have her taken to your private clinic...” Olivia explains curtly, ”Neither the child nor the mother can be adequately cared for here, you know that!” “Liv.....” sighs Noah, getting no further. “Don't you dare call me that!” Olivia hisses tonelessly.

“Sorry, Olivia.... I can barely get ANYONE treated at my private clinic... Last week the accident on the construction site, then that idiot who shot his own face off....” growls Davis. “A PREMATURE BIRTH! The child must have a chance!” Olivia hisses back angrily. “Ok.....” sighs Davis, ”You're having dinner with me for this....” “No way!” growls Olivia, but at the same time she's feverishly wondering if it's not worth it. “Come on... just dinner... Nicholas and Nadja are there too!” Noah asks. “Nick is here again?” Olivia wants to know, who has become friends with the Cuban after all the events of the last two years.... God, has it really been two years? Olivia's heart clenches, as it always does when she thinks of Joakim. A tear steals down her cheek and drips silently onto the floor..... Joakim.... Automatically, she reaches for the ring she wears on a chain around her neck while on duty... her engagement ring in the shape of a star... the North Star... That was her, his North Star, the one he would always return to.... That's what he had sworn to her. But Joakim will never return to her in this life, as his mortal remains lie in the cursed graveyard, deep down in the earth.... His body, shattered by an explosion, rots in a coffin. Olivia has to pull herself together, can't break down crying again here and now.

“What now?” Noah tempts her. “Well... if Nick and Nadja are there, the invitation stands,” growls Olivia harshly. “Wonderful!” smiles Davis over the phone. “What about the child, the mother?” Olivia follows up. “I'll send an ambulance with an incubator, let my doctors know!” promises Davis, ”And please be on time, 9 pm, evening dress is appropriate! I'll send someone to pick you up!” Before Olivia can say anything back, Davis has hung up. Stunned, with a mixture of anger and disbelief, Olivia stares at her black display.... FUCK, she feels like she's been conned. But now she can hardly cancel. When she leaves the clinic later, it's already dark, and walks to the parking lot, she has that tingling sensation on the back of her neck again, as if she's being watched. It is particularly intense today. The hairs on the back of her neck and the fine hairs on her arms stand up and she gets goose bumps. Startled, she turns around and looks around nervously... Nothing.... Nevertheless, she can't shake this feeling of being watched, of being followed. FUCK, you're getting paranoid, Olivia tells herself, turns around again and continues on her way to her car, gets in unchallenged and drives off. His warm green-brown eyes are fixed on the car as it drives away. The tall, slim man steps out of the shadows a little, pulling his baseball cap down over his face. He has also pulled the hood of his hoodie over it, turned up the collar of his jacket and his hands are once again deep in the pockets of his black cargo pants. His entire outfit is black, as are his shoes.

He blends beautifully into the darkness as he retreats back into the shadows of the blocks of houses that surround the clinic where Olivia works. Slowly, he turns and walks to his car, sits in it, starts it. He doesn't have to follow Olivia's car on sight because he knows exactly where she's going. Home to the small suburb where she lives in a little house... alone, except for her roommate, Milo, a pit bull mix, who is staying with a neighbor while Olivia works. The man drives up to the house at a leisurely pace, stops not directly in front of it but a little further away and switches off the engine. The house is brightly lit and he can see that Olivia is upstairs, as her silhouette is visible behind the curtains. She is getting changed, then probably takes a shower, as she always does when she comes home from work.... Then she puts on comfortable clothes and, if she doesn't cook herself, has something brought in by the delivery service. Preferably Asian.... Asian of all things.... The man grimaces as he immediately thinks of Doi. His anger at the head of the Yakuza has not diminished in the year he has not seen him. He simply cannot forgive him for his actions. The very actions that have more or less forced him to live in the shadows. Since he has officially declared him dead, dead to the world, dead to the underworld, dead to Olivia... his Olivia, his Liv, his North Star. Joakim has to breathe in and out deeply to calm down again. After he was finally able to move again, to walk, one day he disappeared from Doi's house without a sound. The bastard had taken him there after he had been discharged from hospital. Doi made sure that he got everything he needed to get fit again. Still, for not telling Olivia that he survived the damn explosion, Joakim just can't forgive Doi. Doi didn't just make him suffer, no, he almost destroyed Olivia with that news. Joakim's plan was actually to go to Olivia immediately, take her to him and disappear with her... but Doi had sown deep doubts in him as to whether it wouldn't be better for Olivia if he stayed dead, so that she would be safe.

In addition, his physical condition, his different appearance due to the scars, also prevented him from doing so, as he was afraid Olivia would shy away from it.

So he disappeared alone for a while, had to sort himself out and rethink a lot of things. To do this, he flew to Sweden, back to his home country. He stayed there for almost a year and bought a farm a little away from civilization. He got the money for it from Ruffilo. The Cuban supported him in everything he planned. A friendship has developed between the two men in the meantime and Nicholas has also encouraged him to come back and fetch Olivia. Which was actually his plan. But Olivia has also moved on, as Joakim discovered. She has left her job at the research institute and moved out of the new apartment. Instead, she is working in a clinic again, a special clinic, a clinic supported and financed by Doi. Back in the cursed city that has meant so much suffering for him, but also immense happiness..... because he found his Liv there. He has now seen Doi and Olivia together several times. Joakim feels sick when he thinks of every single time. How obliging Doi is towards her.... And Olivia doesn't seem to be averse to his charms either. Nobody knows that he's back.... Well, Ruffilo will probably suspect it, but he hasn't told him, Nadja or Alexei about his plans.

The fact that he has limited contact with Nadja again, and currently none at all, is due to Ruffilo. The two of them now have a relationship, a very intimate one, and Joakim is delighted that Nadja finally seems to have found happiness. Her marriage to Sergei is a sham and only serves as security for both of them. Nadja to support and secure her position, Sergej to live undisturbed with his lover, who is officially his bodyguard.

Shortly before the wedding, Sergej confessed his homosexuality to Nadja and Nadja was incredibly relieved because she was already madly in love with the Cuban. Joakim snorts in amusement, Nadja and really in love.... Who would have thought it? He knows that he owes his life to her and Ruffilo. If it hadn't been for both of them and their tenacity, he would have died under the rubble, the dead Kolja on top of him. The fact that he also owes his life to this shitty little asshole of all people still seems like sheer mockery to Joakim... but well.... He can't remember anything else, only that he woke up at some point, in pain, unable to move and his first thought was Liv..... He didn't really realize at first that he had been in a hospital, nor exactly what had happened, as he kept dozing off in the early days, after the month-long coma he had been in. What came afterwards was no less bad.... Especially as he now had to experience and suffer it while fully conscious. But the worst thing about it all was that his Liv thought he was dead... he had to endure it all without her. She was also his only motivation to get back on his feet, even though the doctors didn't give him too much hope as he had suffered multiple fractures. In fact, there wasn't a mendable bone left in his body. But he still made it. You can hardly see it now, only those who know him or observe him closely can see that he still walks with a slight limp and occasionally his body starts to shake uncontrollably. But even that is getting better and better, only when he is tense does it happen more often. However, the other scars that now cover his body will never go away. The large, long scar on his face is particularly troublesome.... That's why he now wears his hair almost exclusively loose, usually with a baseball cap pulled low over his face.

Suddenly Joakim is startled out of his thoughts and up, as Olivia is just about to leave her house. His mouth is open in amazement, she looks simply stunning.... He has to swallow and sits up to get a better look at her. She is wearing a dark green, tight satin dress. High-necked, long with a slit at the side. Satin pumps in the same color. A black jacket over it and a black clutch, discreet silver jewelry. One side of her hair is pinned back, the other falls lush and curly over her shoulders. God....she is simply beautiful, Joakim thinks and his chest tightens as he stares at her. A black limousine approaches her house and stops in front of it. Joakim's heart stops for a moment when he sees WHO is getting out and walking towards Olivia, hugging her. DOI.... Joakim would like to storm out and beat the bastard to a pulp, but instead he clenches his fists and realizes how tears of anger and despair burn in his eyes. Damn... Doi and Olivia? As the limo drives away with them, a tear rolls down his cheek. Damn.... Did Doi end up taking Olivia after all? Has Olivia succumbed to his charm? Is he too late? The questions gnaw at him and he feels miserable. What should he do now?

Beaming, Doi looks at Olivia, who avoids his gaze. “You look really charming tonight.... Appropriate for the occasion!” smiles Doi. “You said evening wear!” Olivia shrugs unimpressed, ”A bit over the top for a simple dinner in my opinion... but well, I know by now that you're a bit eccentric at times!” “Oh, it's really not a simple dinner!” Doi laughs. Olivia narrows her eyes, “What's that supposed to mean? WHERE are you taking me?” “To a banquet....” smiles Doi.

“FUCK, NOAH!” Olivia roars angrily, ”You set me up... I'm your fucking escort for a fucking banquet???” Grinning, Doi shrugs his shoulder, brushing back his now shoulder-length hair, “I needed a presentable escort, it's a banquet at the mayor of our fair city after all, and I'm invited as the guest of honor..... Therefore.....” “Noah, you really are an asshole.... Stop the car, I want to get out... I'm not playing your fucking games!” Olivia hisses angrily. “No... you're going with me and I'll tell you why, because you're going to get so many donations and sponsors for your clinic. I've already made sure of that in advance and when the gentlemen see you tonight, their wallets will be all the looser!” Doi explains calmly. Olivia glares angrily at him, “I'm so disgusted by these machinations ....” she chokes out. “Well, everything's a business, you know that. You're not stupid!” smiles Doi ”And you know how important donations are... if I'm the only one funding the clinic all the time, some people will probably notice and they'd better not... SO it's safer for you!” “I should never have gotten involved!” growls Olivia. “What....” Doi looks at her, waiting. “On everything.....” she hisses angrily, ”On you.....” “You got involved in all this when you got involved with HIM....” Doi snorts. Olivia's features freeze, she looks at Doi icily, “HE has absolutely nothing in common with YOU, the one here.... HE was forced to live like this, YOU want to live like this, really enjoy it!” she spits at him. “And yet he killed ruthlessly when he was told to... probably innocent people too!” Doi points out. “God... I loathe you more than I can say right now!” Olivia chokes out.

“That didn't stop you from getting into my bed... sort of business and also...” Doi doesn't get any further as Olivia gives him a resounding slap across the face. “That's something I'll never forgive myself for!” she hisses ”And it will never happen again!” Doi looks at her like a predator before leaning towards her in a flash, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her greedily. Olivia is frozen at first, but then she pushes him back with all her might, “Let me out... let me out now!” she hisses and punches him in the face again. Doi grabs her hand before she can strike a third time. “No.... We'll go to the fucking banquet now, you'll smile, collect money, enjoy yourself... and after.....” Doi tenderly strokes her cheek, her neck.

Olivia frees herself from his grip, “Never again in this life....” she glares angrily at him. “Never say never.....” Doi smiles and reaches for Olivia's hand, which she immediately snatches from his grasp. “Noah...” she warns him urgently. Apologizing, he raises his hands, “Sorry... I'll behave myself from now on, I swear!” Olivia presses her jaws together. It's hard to describe her connection with him... on the one hand, she hates his guts because she holds him primarily responsible for Joakim's death. On the other hand, this man exerts a kind of magic on her that she can't completely escape, culminating in them ending up in bed together. Before that, they had argued, as they always do, and when Olivia got violent, Doi kissed her and she kissed him back. One thing led to another and after they both practically tore each other's clothes off, they had sex.... Good sex, as Olivia has to admit. Doi is an experienced and talented lover, knew exactly what he was doing.

Afterward, Olivia was devastated... she betrayed Joakim.... That was all she felt and thought and Doi knew it the moment he looked at her. He left without a word and didn't contact her again for a long time... until weeks later and since then their relationship has cooled even more than before. It all happened a quarter of a year ago and Olivia still doesn't know exactly why she fell for this man, as she still loves Joakim more than anything and has no intention of letting another man into her life. Well, except for Doi, who forces his way into her life, and in a way she lets him.

When the limousine pulls up outside the front door of the magnificent estate, Olivia has to swallow. FUCK, what the hell has she gotten herself into, she thinks to herself in despair. Doi gets out, opens the door to her side and gallantly holds out her hand, which Olivia studiously ignores and gets out of the car without any help, ignoring him and walking towards the entrance. Doi hurries to her side and places his hand on her lower back, causing Olivia to flinch and take a small leap forward. “FUCK, Noah...” she hisses angrily, ”Leave it!” He leans towards her, “You're MY escort today and I'm the only one allowed to touch you.... Do you understand?” he whispers harshly in her ear. Olivia's eyes widen in understanding, “Otherwise I'd be fair game, so to speak, at this damn banquet?” she hisses. “That's one way of putting it, yes.....” smiles Doi. “The evening can't get any more disgusting....” growls Olivia, but no longer fends off Doi's hand, instead enduring it against her body..... or rather, his touch sends shivers through her body, completely upsetting her and she would have done anything to make his hand disappear.

As they both enter the hall, Doi is greeted by various people, mostly men. Olivia watches the spectacle with lowered eyelashes... most of them she knows, at least by sight, the mayor, various city councillors, senators, then the head of the local police department, just to name a few. When the handshakes and introductions are finally over, Doi has really introduced her to all these men, they can finally go to their table. “WHERE is Nicholas and Nadja?” snorts Olivia irritably, as she can't spot them anywhere. “I'm sure they'll be here....” Doi seems just as irritated by this as she is, as they both sit down. Just as the first speeches are about to begin, they both dart into the hall, head straight for Olivia and Doi and sit down. Nadja beams at Olivia next to her and takes her hands in hers, “Nice to see you again, it feels like it's been ages!” Olivia smiles at her just as warmly, “I know... busy... you probably are too!” “Oh yes.....” Nadja laughs. Nicholas smiles just as warmly at her, “It's good to see you, Olivia, especially to finally see you laughing again!” Olivia has to swallow at these words, she grits her teeth and nods at him. Nicholas knows immediately that he has made a mistake and looks at her apologetically, “I didn't mean to... oh, damn it!” he growls. “It's okay, I'm really happy to see you... what are Nikolaj and Zoja doing?” she wants to know.

Ruffilo has taken in the two little orphans and is raising them together with his own children. He wants to give them what Joakim wanted for them. A quiet life, away from violence and crime, with love and security.... As much as you can ask of a Yakuza arms dealer. But that's exactly what Nicholas wants for the children, as well as for his own. Doesn't want any of them to follow in his footsteps.... “Oh, Nikolaj is a whirlwind, he and Tajo keep everyone on their toes and Zoja is just a piece of gold!” beams Nicholas. “Good grief.... They're children!” Doi rolls his eyes, who has little use for children. “Of course that comes from YOU!” Olivia hisses at him and Doi rolls his eyes again. The speeches drag on and Olivia feels like she's really wasting her life here. She struggles to stifle a yawn. Nadja leans towards her, “I need to talk to you.... Urgently!” she whispers to her. Olivia looks at her questioningly. “Not here... let's go to a quiet corner later...” Nadja whispers and leans back in her seat. Before Olivia can think about it any further, everyone starts clapping and Olivia hopes with all her heart that the speeches are over now, which fortunately they are.

The food is served quickly and everyone is busy with it for the time being. Olivia only now realizes how hungry she is and eats gratefully. Out of the corner of her eye, she notices Nadja poking around listlessly and barely touching a bite. Suddenly she stands up and hurries out of the room. Doi looks after her, frowning, “What's wrong with her?” he wants to know from Ruffilo, who just shrugs his shoulders, clueless and confused. Olivia stands up, “I'll go and look for her!” she declares, earning her a grateful look from Ruffilo. Olivia doesn't have to search for long, she finds Nadja on the terrace of the estate, where she breathes in the fresh night air. Concerned, she puts an arm around the smaller woman, “Hey, what's wrong? Are you feeling sick?” “Yes..... all the time.... For fuckin 6 weeks....” Nadja blinks against the tears forming in her eyes. Olivia turns pale, “You're pregnant.....” she whispers. Nadja nods silently, the tears now rolling down her cheeks, which she wipes away in annoyance, “I think I'm about 10 weeks....” “You haven't been to the doctor yet?” Olivia asks, stunned. “No! That's why I wanted to talk to you....” Nadja looks at her pleadingly. “You don't want to keep it....” Olivia swallows. “I can't keep it!” Nadja cries, ”Everyone would immediately recognize that it's not Sergei's if it's in the world. And then I'd have a huge problem!” “Why?” Olivia wants to know.

“Because some will be bothered by it... God, Sergei is blond, fair-skinned, like me and Nicholas..... well, you know what he looks like... The child will surely take after him!” sighs Nadja, ”I could dig my own grave if I keep it..... Especially because the Italians are getting cheeky!” “Come to the clinic tomorrow, I'll make sure you're examined, Anonymous! And then we'll figure out what to do together!” Olivia nods, ”Nicholas doesn't know about this?” Nadja shakes her head, “No.... And he mustn't find out either.... It would break his heart!” “Nadja....” Olivia looks at her pleadingly. “Olivia, please.... He mustn't find out!” Nadja chokes out. “Certainly not from me. I'm also bound by medical confidentiality, because you're my patient!” Olivia assures her. Nadja hugs Olivia gratefully, “I knew I could count on you!” she sighs with relief. “Always!” Olivia nods, ”But let's go back inside when you're well again, so Nicholas doesn't get suspicious!” They have already moved on to dessert in the hall and Nadja feels sick again just looking at the chocolate mousse. So she pushes the plate away from her, which earns her a questioning look from Nicholas. “Is something wrong? You've hardly eaten anything.....” He leans towards her, concerned. “No, I'm just feeling a bit sick, that's all....” Nadja evades him, beaming at him, ”Don't worry, I've just got a bit sick to my stomach!” “Should we go home?” Nicholas wants to know immediately. “No, everything's fine!” Nadja assures him. Nicholas doesn't really believe her and watches her closely. Doi gives Olivia a questioning look, which she ignores. Sighing, he stands up and holds out his hand to her, “Come on, let's raise some money for your clinic, introduce you to a few more important people!” With flashing eyes, Olivia takes Doi's hand and stands up, “I hate being shown off!” she hisses. “You're not being shown off, I'm just helping you make important connections, connections that could be very useful to you!” he explains quietly. “I want absolutely NOTHING to do with this dirty business!” she hisses. “No dirty business, I promise you... very few people here know WHO I really am. To them, I'm just Noah Sebastian Davis, a successful businessman with a clean slate!” smiles Doi. “God, do you actually listen to yourself talk?” growls Olivia in disgust, ”You're so smug.....” Doi stops short, “Olivia, I'm doing this for you....” he tenderly brushes a strand of hair out of her face.

“You don't think I believe you.... I'm sure there's something in it for you too!” she hisses at him, ”And leave my hair alone!” Doi laughs softly, “All right, I get it! Come on then... let's shake some more hands!” “Fabulous!” Olivia rolls her eyes, but then puts on a smile, ready to keep shaking hands to raise money for her clinic. Because she knows that without more sponsorship and donations, she will hardly be able to keep the clinic going as more and more patients need to be cared for there. Exhausted, Olivia later lies down in her seat in the limousine. Doi leans over her, caresses her cheek and Olivia immediately grabs his hand. “Noah, one more move like that and I'll strangle you today!” she hisses at him. “I'm sorry... but it's just really hard for me....” Doi sighs and drops into his seat, smiling apologetically at her. “Leave it... really!” hisses Olivia angrily, ”I just want to get home and into my bed now!” “I was hoping you'd still come with me.....” smiles Doi. “GOD, NOAH!!! NO!” Olivia screams at him, ”THERE IS NOTHING BETWEEN US AND THERE WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING BETWEEN US!” “That's a shame!” sighs Doi, ”You really are the first woman I've ever wanted to settle down with...” “You're so predictable....” hisses Olivia, ”You only want me because I don't want you, that's all!”

“No!” Doi shakes his head sternly, ”I really care about you, Olivia!” “Don't talk nonsense, Noah.” growls Olivia, ”There's nothing between us and there never will be!” “We'll see.....” Doi shrugs his shoulder with a smile. His thoughts, however, return to the conversation he and Nicholas had when Olivia was away with Nadja.

Nicholas had asked if he was still in contact with Karlsson, just in passing, which had caught Doi's attention. To be honest, Doi had banished Karlsson from his thoughts since he had disappeared off the face of the earth. Doi was only right when he realized over time that Karlsson did NOT show up at Olivia's, taking her with him... So he could make his move on her... FINALLY and without having a guilty conscience towards Karlsson. So Doi narrowed his eyes and denied the question and immediately asked a counter question, “Why the hell do you want to know NOW?” “Well, just like that....” replied Nicholas evasively.... “Just like that... uhum.....” snorted Doi. “I'm a bit worried about our Swedish friend!” Nicholas had then sighed.

“Worried? Why? He's been off the face of the earth for ages... probably in hiding!” Doi shrugged his shoulder “I was in contact with him... now he's really disappeared......” Nicholas replied seriously. “In contact.....” Doi was speechless for a moment, as he had known absolutely nothing about this. “Yes... you know that I would have been dead long ago without him! And I'm a man of my word!” rumbled Nicholas. “FUCK, Nick..... I've done everything I can to get him back on his feet!” Doi spat at him in response. “Yes, absolutely, Nobu, and at the same time you took away the most important thing in the world from him... Olivia, by declaring him dead.... And now you're courting her like a rooster!” Nicholas hissed angrily. “FUCK... she was finished.... No one thought the bastard would survive... and if he did, he'd be a moronic cripple with the injuries!” Doi hissed angrily. “He survived, though, and far from being a moronic cripple, he's more dangerous than ever, if you ask me. You took away the man's future... with her!” declared Nicholas coolly. “So you want to warn me about Karlsson....” Doi was speechless again. “Well, at least you shouldn't come between him and Olivia if he turns up here. Good advice!” Nicholas made it clear. Before Doi could answer, Nadja and Olivia returned and the conversation was over. Nicholas could never forgive him for telling Olivia that Karlsson was dead. Nicholas was about to tell Olivia everything, which Doi narrowly managed to prevent, as Olivia was safer that way... Although he is exposing Olivia to great danger himself, if you look at it the right way, because he is showing himself in public with her. But Doi has now decided to send several men to watch out for her safety. The conversation just now has supported him in his decision. If Karlsson really does turn up here again, he wants to be forewarned.... And then he'll have to see.... “What are you thinking about?” Olivia's voice cuts through his thoughts. “Hm?” Doi looks at her, startled, ”Nothing more... just what I have to do in the next few days!” “Just keep it to yourself!” snorts Olivia, ”I don't want to know!” “Of course!” smiles Doi, looking out the window of the limo, ”Oh we're almost there.... You probably don't want to invite me to your place for a coffee....” The look Olivia gives him speaks volumes. “Okay, I get it! I hope we meet again soon!” he smiles charmingly. “I hope not!” Olivia murmurs grumpily, but before she gets out, she kisses him quickly on the cheek, ”Thank you.... For your help!” Doi holds her hand for a moment, looking at her seriously, “Always.... You know that!” Olivia nods, getting out quickly as her heart races. FUCK, what were you thinking, you stupid cow, she scolds herself as she walks to her front door, doesn't turn around again and with trembling fingers puts the key in the lock and unlocks it. Inside, she leans against the front door, exhausted. FUCK.... She mustn't see Doi again... that man is just a walking red flag! She reaches for her ring, strokes it... Fuck Joakim.... Why aren't you here, she swallows in her mind and hot tears stream down her cheeks until despair hits her again so hard that she slides down against the door, sobbing and curling up on the floor, wailing and whimpering. Milo, who has noticed this, comes to her whimpering, gently sniffs her hair and lies down next to her, his dog's snout pressed into her stomach. Crying and trembling, Olivia embraces her dog, hugs him to her and lets her tears and despair flow freely.

[cyhaino]

Dragon sage Romance Opinions

Alistair | I am not immune to cliches. The stupid rose got to me so yeah I romanced him. I only romance him as Amell so he gets the one playthrough sorry my dude

Leliana | what’s hotter than one bisexual? Two bisexuals! Anyways I love her I think her romance is well written and I love seeing her in inquisition

Morrigan | I’m very sorry but I’ve never romanced her because I’ve never played a male warden. I feel for her because people seem to forget her feelings on the dark ritual and the whole thing with her mom. I also like seeing her in inquisition for the most part.

Zevran | he’s sent to kill you of course I love him my current playthrough of the series I’m romancing him and I’m reminded of how much I love him. Also the fact that I can romance him as a dwarf? Thank you!

Anders | my mutuals love anders. I do not.

Fenris | no. I get the appeal but no.

Merrill | I romanced her once. It’s a very nice but bittersweet romance because of the whole her being dalish and hawke being human and feeling like she’s betraying her clan for pursuing this romance. I love her but all my Hawkes just end up being friends with her.

Sebastian | look I know not everyone likes him but I do and I’ve done one playthrough where I romance him also he’s definitely bisexual I don’t care what bioware says

Isabela | she is the love of my life she is my moon my sun the light that shines in the dark she’s done nothing wrong I would die for her I would kill for her fuck everyone else she is the best romance of all time I just want to see her again bioware stop whitewashing her and ahhhhh

Blackwall | I have no problems with women lying to me but a man lying to me??? No.

Cassandra | written for straight men would probably call me a slur

Cullen | written for straight women would call me a slur behind my back leliana should be able to kill him I played inquisition first and romanced him then went back to play origins and felt disgusted

Dorian | the one good gay romance in bioware

Iron Bull | love him I’ve wanted to romance a quanri and bioware delivered suffers from fandom brain rot though like this man is more than kinky sex he’s a complex character who depending on player choice can become a loyal friend or betray you

Josephine | deserves a fairytale romance and gets it for the most part bioware let me marry her please!!!

Sera | well I like her but romancing her as an elf is oh boy

Solas | see Blackwall

[fanfictionsworld]

Hi, your writing is absolutely wonderful 💖 Could I please request/ask for some headcanons with a reader who doesn't want to sit on yandere Sebastian, Grell and Claude's lap (Separate) since she's a bit chubby and is kinda insecure of how she looks like me (Believe me, people are just brutal when it comes to those sort of things 😭😒) Hope I didn't make you sad and if I did, I'm really sorry TvT

Hi thank you very much for the compliment i am glad you like my writting means a lot to me.I know how it is as chubby person my self.People have no disregared for others feelings about this i hope you get revenge on people how told you that❤❤🤗🥰💖💞

1.Sebastian Michaelis

Sebastian came in to your room after a long day of work.The man was tired of everyone.He just wanted to relax and have you in his lap so he can pet your hair.

As soon as he tried to set you on his lap you stopped him.He was confused as why do not you want to sit on his lap.

He will ask you but you would be to shy to tell him thinking he will make fun of you.

He will plead for you to tell him why not.

As soon as you told that you are insecure of your weight he will start saying how he does not care he loves you for personality more than your looks(not that he thinks that your ugly).He will tell you that he loves your ass and that he very much would like to slap it once in a while.❤🖤

2.Grell Sutcliff

One thing this Queen loves about you is your chubby body.

To her there is nothing wrong with having a littel bit of extra weight it only means your very healthy(as a nursing student i am telling you that it really protects your body and it means that you have a good immune system)

She came back from work all tired and strested and only thing she wanted was to cuddle you.She was about to jump on your body but you moved and she hit the empty side of bed.

She asked whats wrong at first you did not wanted to tell her but she kept begging and begging so you told her what is happening.

She will comfort you throw compliments at you and flirt by telling how beautiful your body is and she wisphered some dirty things in your ear so that she can make you fell better.❤🤍

3.Cladue Faustus

I think personality that as a bigger guy he would like a thick girl.He will not ofcours say it out loud but it is true.

He loves having you on his lap he like feeling and squizing yout thighs they are just so good to feel under hes hands.

He also loves lying between them and snuggel after a long they of work.

Just know that your thighs are his favourite part of you and that squizing them leads to something more.💛🖤

[thefanficmonster]

Know No Better

Streamer Gang & Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Platonic Fluff, HUMOR, Crack, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: A game of Among Us with this gang can never go without a halt for some spit-fire accusations and bickering, but throw their mutual friend Y/N in the mix and the chaos flares up twice as intensely.

Requested by my dear friend @thelittleplantlover  Hi darling! Thank you so much for being such a loyal reader and never shying away from giving me your full honest feedback. You are an amazing person, a lovely friend and a mutual I’m glad I gained on my Tumblr journey. Love you with all my heart, Vy 💕

“Yo, sorry I’m....late“ Charlie’s eyebrow raises as soon as he enters the Discord call, almost half an hour after the scheduled time due to difficulties with his wi-fi connection. However, neither his presence nor his apology are acknowledged, seeing as how he wasn’t even heard over all the shouting going on in the call. “Um, what’s going on here?“ He asks no one in particular, aware that he probably won’t get an answer. 

Surprisingly, though, someone does answer him - Sykkuno. “Hey Charlie, welcome. You missed a whole round and a whole debacle between...” The yelling voices give a clear idea of who this debacle is happening between: Rae, Corpse and Y/N. “Yeah, you can probably tell between who.”

“Yo, is that Y/N? Dude, I haven’t heard from you in so long where’ve you been?“ Charlie exclaims, eyebrows raising in delighted surprise, “What are you arguing about? Imma argue with you.“

“You don’t even know what we’re arguing about!“ Rae snaps, scaring the ever-loving daylight out of the newcomer that all but shrinks a bit in his seat, “These are matters the three of us have to deal with!“

You see, Charlie’s not one to press his luck - definitely not when the sweetheart Rae lashes out like that, reminding him that the impossible can be possible if you’re a strong enough believer - but right now, seeing as how he isn’t playing yet, he’s thirsty for some amusement even if it comes with the price of being verbally beat and battered by the currently bickering trio.

“God bless the day you three actually manage to deal with something by yourselves.“ He snickers, half-hoping Rae wouldn’t hear him. Actually, it’s more one third hoping she wouldn’t the other two suggesting otherwise. Adding gasoline to the fire - it’s basically in his resume at this point.

The reply he receives is not even oriented around his statement and it doesn’t come from Rae - whether that be a blessing or a curse - but rather from Y/N. “Charlie, help! Corpse and I are being wrongfully accused over here!“

“There’s nothing wrong about my accusations! I heard you bribing Corpse into vouching for you, you impostor!“ Rae spits out the word as though this argument is a real deal and not just them throwing a collective tantrum as they usually tend to do.

“He asked me for immunity in exchange for keeping his mouth shut! I never offered it to him!“ Y/N argues back, “Not my fault he’s a corrupt crewmate!“

“You were about to accept the offer though! Who does that?!“ Rae’s not giving up her ground either.

“Anyone! All of you know you would’ve accepted the offer had you been the one to be proposed it!“ Y/N whines, reminding themself and everyone else that they are not a very argumentative or confrontational. The only time they can be caught butting heads with people is as a joke, among this very group of people and over something as small as a bribery in Among Us. “And why is no one going off at Corpse for this? Why am I the villain here? Um, hello?! I’m an impostor, I’m supposed to be evil. One of your own betrayed you, and I’M your biggest problem?!”

“I’d like it if you didn’t get me involved...“ Corpse inquires shyly, as though fearing he too is in for an outburst from Rae if he dares oppose hers and Y/N’s statements.

Unfortunately for him, he’s attacked by their joined forces with a: “YOU STARTED THIS!” Shouted at him in unison. Just like Charlie, he too shrinks in his seat.

“Hey Toast.“ Charlie nudges one of his friends, one he hasn’t heard from for the entirety of his short time in the Discord call, “You there?“

“Sup man?“ Toast answers, unmuting his mic for the first time after approximately ten minutes of silence on his end due to this heated debate going on.

“Ten bucks says this goes on for another ten minutes.“ Charlie says nonchalantly, already planning the cheap dinner he’s gonna order with those ten bucks.

“Nah man, fifteen for fifteen minutes. These two have no chill.“ Toast says, taking a sip of his soda.

“You’re both wrong.“ Sykkuno interferes, “I’m putting in twenty for twenty and I’m starting a timer.“

“WHAT?!“

The three men sit there paralyzed now that the two sides of the battlefield have temporarily united once again to end them. Lord knows when Y/N and Rae unite, nothing good is in store for those who they’re up against.

“N-nothing...I was just announcing that...“ Charlie starts off, strategically reaching for the plug for his router, “...my wi-fi’s gonna disconnect in three, two...“

“DON’T YOU DARE!“

And WHOOP he’s gone. And so are Toast, Sykkuno and Corpse.

“I really can’t believe them sometimes.“ Rae grumbles under her breath finding the miserable number of remaining players once again gathered in the cafeteria after no one got voted out despite everyone knowing it’s Y/N.

“And here I thought Charlie would back me up.“ Y/N sighs disappointedly, shooting a brief look at their chat, “Hell if I ever trust him again.“

“Look at the bright side though!“ their friend, moments ago opponent, hurries to comfort them as though their argument never happened. Technically, it really didn’t. “He’s at least not gonna get those ten bucks he sounded so confident in getting.“

Knowing Charlie, losing a bet will most likely leave him feeling torn, but hey, much to his comfort, he was the closest in guessing the duration of the arguing. You win some and you lose some, this time he’s done neither. But he will get an earful from Y/N at the first given chance they get, which he’s grown used to over the years, being the one knowing them the longest. What he’s still trying to get used to is how much they’ve clicked with his friend group. Never did he imagine his socially awkward and shy friend would steal all his friends and literally wrap them around their little finger. Truth be told, amazement aside, he’s quite proud of them for it.

Yes, of course he’s gonna try bringing this up when they open fire on him as an attempt to calm them down. Yes, he knows it probably won’t work. But also: yes, he knows what will. Cause that’s what best friends do - they know. However, they should also know better than to bet on their friends.

 But come on, it’s Charlie and Y/N we’re talking about over here - neither of them know any better. Hell, no one in this gang knows better. That’s what makes them so uniquely and wonderfully chaotic. 

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse

[artsbysakurachan]

Yet Another Crazy Kuro Theory (This one's a real doozy!)

Sebastian's obsessed with cats because he's an alien...

QUIT YER BITCHING DEMON! DON'T MAKE ME PUT YOU IN THE BASEMENT AGAIN!! *muffled outraged demon noises* Sorry about that... Sebastian's an alien. No, really. What is an alien lifeform? It's a lifeform that is not indigenous to planet Earth. Demons aren't indigenous to Earth, they're (presumably) indigenous to the Hell Dimension which makes them, technically, aliens. So now that we've cleared that up, what does that have to do with Sebastian's cat obsession? Strap in cos we about to do some science! Do you own a cat? If so, look at your cat right now. Look at your cat and realise that this adorable little carpet shark is using manipulation and mind-control on you and that cats have doing this to humans for thousands of years. This is actual scientific fact.

A vast majority of cats carry a parasite called toxoplasma gondii, a parasite that makes mice really brave. Instead of being afraid of cats because of the whole apex predator thing, rodents infected with toxoplasma gondii will absolutely step to a cat. They'll get eaten but they'll go down fighting because the parasite controlling their tiny mice brains is telling them that they want to go out like they're in a Die Hard movie. #ThugLife When a cat eats an infected rodent, it too becomes a host to the toxoplasma parasite which it can then pass on to humans. In humans this parasite behaves a little differently, so don't worry it won't make you want to challenge a lion to a death match because it looked at you disrepectfully. However, it will make you less risk averse in general and it will make you like cats more than you did prior to infection. Not all humans are infected with the cat-loving brain worm however, which is why we still have dog-people even though dogs are clearly the inferior species >_> Like I said, cats have been doing this to humans for thousands of years. Of all the animals that humans have domesticated, the cat is the only one that serves no real purpose that wasn't already being taken care of by other domesticated species. We don't eat cats, we don't use them to hunt, we do use them for pest control (rats, mice, etc) but dogs can do the same job just as well if not better because they can eliminate larger pests that cats won't touch. We didn't domesticate cats, they domesticated US! And they've spent the last several thousand years convincing us that we're happy about it while treating us like dirt most of the time.

No shade though, I have three cats and I am happy with my life of mind-controlled servitude and my cats are not forcing me to type this sentence under duress. Also I do not have an angry demon locked in my basement so he can think about his attitude problem.

So, cats are our overlords and evolution has given them the perfect tool with which to continue their fluffy reign of terror. But, not every human is infected with this parasite and not every human is susceptible to it. Evolution likes to have an exit strategy in case of biological dumpster fires so there's always some kind of immunity floating around out there and even humans that aren't immune can still build up a tolerance for biological shenaniganary. But Sebastian's not human so he presumably has no such tolerance. Sidenote: This is probably why actual aliens don't come here, because our germs would kill them. And also because humans are terrible, just sayin' Because Sebastian's an alien with no tolerance to the cat-loving brain trojan, he probably became infected the first time he ever saw one of these fuzzy terminators running fades on the local bird population and now he's...a little obsessed. Not to mention that his "alien" physiology might cause the parasite to behave differently, turning him into the crazy cat-demon we all know and love.

[bronanlynch]

(bi)weekly media update

apparently I just. do these every two weeks now huh. sorry to the tuesday again no problem extended universe crew for being unable to keep to a consistent schedule

listening: Curses by The Crane Wives, a band that I just started listening to but I like their sound, nice and fun and folksy, lots of songs with ominous lyrics that are good on fanmixes

honorary mention to the new Lil Nas X song because we are all love the new Lil Nas X song, it’s a bop, it’s been stuck in my head on and off ever since I heard it, and I am not immune to sexily blasphemous music videos

reading: finished Smoke & Ashes, the most recent book in the Kate Kane series that I talked about last week, and I enjoyed it a lot but there sure is a cliffhanger and afaik no set release date for the next one. it’s pretty angsty but does have lots of nice moments of hope, and some discussion about recovering from both depression and alcoholism that I appreciated.

also read more romance novels, and I appreciate that Cat Sebastian, like KJ Charles, knows how to write about rich characters while making it incredibly clear that hoarding wealth is morally indefensible. it’s like the “wow, cool robot” thing where I want to be told that I’m right for disliking capitalism/imperialism/the military industrial complex, but also I do very much want you to show me the cool robot (hot rich prettyboy in nice clothes)

also finally started Harrow the Ninth today, so I’m sure I’ll have more to say about that next time

watching: speaking of “wow, cool robot,” watched a little bit more Turn A Gundam, which sure does have some cool robots. also some gender. the main character crossdresses to like, hide their identity for fun complicated spy reasons and it’s not treated as a joke or anything? it’s just a thing that they do? and no one comments on it beyond when they were like “hey you have to wear a dress to this event because the people from the moon think our mech pilot is a woman and they can’t know it’s actually you because they still think you’re working for them”

absolutely hate that the guy on the right is just wearing a normal boring suit though like. c’mon man

Zan and I have been watching The Falcon and the Winter Soldier aka the sambucky show each week and my review so far is. well it’s about what I expected. the first episode was incredibly slow and kinda disappointing (Sam and Bucky never interact! the fact that Bucky might maybe miss Steve is never brought up, not even by his therapist, who tbh gives me incredibly bad vibes! if my best friend and the only person I knew from my past fucked off and left me alone to deal with my trauma in favor of ruining the life of a woman who’d moved on from him, I’d be pissed!) (for the sake of not being angry all the time I pretend Steve died instead of did That).

the second episode was more fun, more happens, there’s some incredibly heavy-handed corporate queerbaiting mixed in with some actually nice emotional moments (this article and this thread by the same person have a pretty good summary of All That). the handling of race, uh, could be better tbh. I appreciate what they’re going for, and to be fair the whole show isn’t out yet so it could get better (since some of the problems are tied to, y’know, the overall political problems, i.e. the fact that the villains are a group of people, led by a Black woman, who hate borders and illegally deliver medication to refugees which is somehow a bad thing, I kind of doubt it). but there is something about the way they’re making a Black man the mouthpiece of American imperialism, and the way that the new (white) Captain America who takes the shield when Sam doesn’t want it has a Black girlfriend and a Black best friend who, so far, have mostly just given him motivational pep talks, that doesn’t really inspire confidence. (this article and thread are a good overview of that aspect of the show)

also, I think it’s very funny when people are like “well you can’t say anything about the show yet, only two episodes are out” like. first of all lads it’s a six episode show, a third of the content is a decent chunk to use to form an analytical opinion, and second of all, if something strikes you as Not Great, you’re allowed to feel that way and say that, you don’t have to wait to see if there might be some twist or context that makes the thing you didn’t care for great and fine, actually,

that being said,

(when we watched the first episode, the immediate next thing we did was watch Winter Soldier and I was pleasantly surprised how well it holds up. not perfect obvi but still a solid movie, and the music does fuck)

also watched this very neat little video essay on Victoriana costuming and like, why so much media is set in the Victorian era, and started the c-drama Word of Honor which I’m sure will either be in a future post or just. something I start blogging about normally

playing: the weekend before last was the Beam Saber season finale, which I’ve already posted about quite a bit because it was fun and I love to play games with my friends. played a very fun game of Things, Eldritch and Terrifying by S. Gates this past weekend. it’s a very fun game, with very easy-to-follow rules and lots of helpful adjectives and scene starters, and also just conceptual it slaps (one person is an eldritch terror, the other person is the human that they’re courting. there’s a variant where you play as a vampire. it slaps). we made it uh, more of a rom-com than a horror story but I had a very good time, we told a very cute love story, and we’re gonna try again to make it more horror-y next time.

also I finally started Brigmore Witches and it’s very good and fun. my one complaint is that I want the Whalers to have names, because I enjoy the bit at the beginning where you can eavesdrop on them and some of them are concerned for you and some of them are fucked up about the Overseers invading their home and some of them want to fucking betray you. also, I didn’t realize that the very beginning when you fight Corvo is a dream sequence so I spent the whole fight being like “wait why does he get a gun and I don’t, where are my powers, wait aren’t I supposed to lose this fight for Plot Reasons why is he dead.” also, fucking love the favor that lets you dress up as an Overseer to get into the prison. I do love a good disguise mission

making: citrus chicken (from a cookbook so no link), plus some citrus-y root vegetables. very good if you like orange.

writing: nothing I can share yet for ~zine reasons. yes I have several fandom event weeks coming up that I want to participate in, no I haven’t written anything for any of them yet

[iplaymatchmaker]

Wahhh your prompt matchups are such a cute idea! May I please request one for Ikevamp, with the prompts 5 (this sounds so interesting! Can I perhaps get Cinderella—balls make me soft) and 8 (i don’t drink, so my suitor would be the drunk one)? Take your time with this please, and take care!

Pronouns, MBTI, and Hogwarts House: I go by she/her, and I’m an ENTP-T Gryffindor (if I had the choice, I’d choose Slytherin tho).

Hobbies & Passion: I love English Literature (and general history), and I’m working to gain a PhD in the field as I’d love to talk with likeminded people about literary works. I also enjoy various sports, especially dancing, and baking, and writing... it’s hard to narrow down since I get distracted by other activities easily (Entp tingz)

Likes/Dislikes: I value honesty in relationships, even if the statements might be negative. Also, I like people that won’t disregard my physical boundaries—it takes me some time to accept physical affection from someone, but once I do open up, I can be vvv snuggly (if the other person is comfortable with it ofc). Beyond that, I believe you can work around lots of traits in a relationship if they aren’t too earth-shattering.

Attitude towards other people: Towards my loved ones, I’m very playful and loud, and I enjoy teasing the shit out of someone. While I’m blunt, I try to be softer around the people I love. I care a lot, so I can easily appear overbearing and annoying, I’m sure.

Towards strangers/acquaintances, however, I’m extremely critical, stubborn (except when someone actually brings a good argument), and argumentative (and it depends on my respect for them how harsh I will be). Mostly quiet, serious, and quick-witted. If my friends are around me tho, strangers will catch a glimpse of how loud and playful I can be.

Thank you so much for this in advance 💜💜💜

I match you with

Sebastian!

 Thank you so much for requesting! I’m sorry it took so long! I got a little carried away with the prompts, but I hope you like them. If I ever write a cinderella AU for Sebby, we will all know the origin story.  I based the second prompt off of the first one, which has a meet cute vibe to it. I know you didn’t request that, but it sort of happened as I was writing 😅. Anyways, thanks again, I really hope you enjoy this!❤❤❤

To be honest, after reading your ask, the beautiful token human butler was my only option. While many of the residents could probably match your wit, Sebby is the one who would actively challenge you.

When you first met, you two wouldn’t stop bickering. Comte considered splitting the housework so you two would have to work together as little as possible, but neither of you are about to give up on your daily arguments. There are still points to be made.

Despite how your relationship looks like from an outsider’s perspective, you both do enjoy each other’s company, even if you have convinced the rest of the mansion of the opposite. Sebastian enjoys having someone around who will question him, helping him improve in the process, even if he won’t admit to that.

It doesn’t take long for you to come across his obsession love of history. You may come across a certain notebook, but neither of you shall ever speak of that again.

After that fateful day your conversations shift towards the topic of history. After living in a mansion full of geniuses for so long, with only a notebook to share his fangirling admiration with, he is very excited to have someone to share his discoveries with. You two can often be heard comparing historical figures, trying to conclude who was more impactful in the long run, while somehow managing to cook for the entire mansion in the process.

When you two grow closer, you get more comfortable, allowing him to witness another side to you. And so the teasing begins. You can’t help yourself. Despite how put together he looks, he is not immune to you. His reaction is especially picture worthy when you flick him for the first time. His eyes wide with shock, gloved hand rubbing his forehead. It’s impossible not to laugh. Even Comte, who happens to be present, can be heard chuckling/

 Prompt 5: Fairytale AU:

When you entered the ballroom, all eyes turned to look at you. You hoped the eye catching dress would work in your favor later. You sighed before descending down the stairs, eyes scanning the room for the prince. This was the chance you had been waiting for. The chance to get away from your stepmother. All you needed to do was convince the prince you were special, special enough to consider marrying. Being an option would be enough to earn you a fresh start.

When your eyes fell on the young man, you discreetly made your way towards him, waiting for the right moment to strike conversation. When the music started playing, you saw him looking around for a partner. You moved swiftly, before more ambitious women noticed.

“Care to dance?” you looked him in the eye, determined to achieve your goal. He smiled before putting his hands around your waist, guiding you to the dance floor. Everyone’s attention was on you. You were worried one of your step sisters would notice you, despite you best attempts to disguise yourself. You needed to get him away quickly.

“I was surprised to see a prince look so lonely in a room full of people.” He didn’t seem to hear you, his gaze seemingly somewhere far away.

“Um, sir?” he didn’t reply. When the song changed he pulled away, head dipping once before walking away in a hurry. You stood there, alone, discarded by a prince himself. He hadn’t even batted an eyelash.  Frustration welled up inside you as you watched him walk away. So much time built up to this. Another loss.

“Would you mind giving me this dance?” a young man appeared in front of you, his hair a mixed shade between black and grey, depending on the angle you looked at it from. He seemed anxious.

“Sure.” You couldn’t hide the disappointment from your voice as he took your hand, the two of you falling back in line with the rest of the pairs.

“I am sorry I’m not the partner you hoped for. The prince is… not motivated to find a partner tonight.” His words were meant to be comforting, but in that moment you didn’t care about what the prince wanted. He was your ticket out and he had barely even looked at you.

“He could try to be more considerate. Some of us aren’t so privileged we can play hard to get.” You knew it was probably reckless to speak of the future king that way, but you didn’t care. It was over now.

“He is… complicated. But he did care enough to send me lighten your mood. Not sure how much of an apology that is.” The man almost sounded sad. You looked him over for the first time that night. He wasn’t dressed like the other nobles. Something about his face was familiar.

“Aren’t you the prince’s assistant?” when the realization hit you, you wanted to kick yourself in the foot.

“Yes. You don’t have to look so worried. I can’t blame you for your frustration.”  You couldn’t let yourself relax, knowing you had just insulted the prince in front of his right hand man.

“I apologize for my disrespect. I just…” your voice trailed off.

“Just?” you hesitated, unsure of whether or not you could trust him. That was when the song ended. You expected the man to walk away, but he led you to a less crowded corner of the room, not speaking up until you had some privacy.

“His majesty never agreed with this ball. It was his father who insisted. The pressure of an heir weighs heavy on his shoulders.” You had figured that much. A ball that gets organized with the purpose of finding a wife isn’t the most romantic start to a love story.

“We all have to make sacrifices. Marriage is more often than not, based on interest, not love.”

“So I can presume you didn’t come here today because of your feelings for the prince?” you nodded, knowing there wasn’t much you could do after all you heard.

“I needed an escape. The prince could have given it to me.” You were both silent for a few minutes. You almost thought the conversation was over until he spoke up again.

“Can I show you something?” he was offering you his hand. This was the first time you were meeting this man, you weren’t sure if you could trust him, but something about the way he looked at you compelled you to put your hand on his, allowing him to lead you away from the crowded room.

You ended up on a balcony, the entire city laid down before you. The noise of the party was completely drowned out, only your breathing interrupting the silence.

“It’s beautiful” in that moment you forgot about your step mother, the prince, the party. It was only you and the world before you.

“It’s a vast world out there. You don’t need the prince to show you your way.” Everything felt so simple. The stars were bright that night, lighting the city bellow, stretching for miles, as far as the eye could see. You felt you opened your eyes after a long time.

“What’s your name?’

“Sebastian.”

 Prompt 8: Drunk

It had been a few months since you met Sebastian. After that first encounter the two of you grew closer, arranging outings when you were free. But today was the first time you were meeting after you managed to leave your step mother, your own house and work finally secured.

“This would have happened way sooner if you had let me help you know.” He had offered his help countless time, but you refused to take an easy way out.

“Absolute show-off. You know, offering so much help to someone usually looks a certain way, especially to an outsider.” You leaned closer to him, batting your eyelashes to get the full effect. His face quickly turned beet red. You couldn’t help but laugh as he coughed, trying to regain his composure.

“You are the one making it look that way you know.” He took a gulp of his drink, avoiding looking you in the eye.

After some time filled with similar interactions, Sebastian was slowly getting considerably drunker.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink so much.” You looked back on the time you’ve known him, realizing you had never actually seen him drink before.

“I-It’s a celebration. T-That’s what pe-ople do.” His words were interrupted by a heavy amount of hiccupping.

“I think that’s enough alcohol for you.” You pulled the cup from his hand with ease, considering his limbs were practically jelly. “I wouldn’t have been offended if you didn’t empty the entire bottle.” You laughed watching him struggle to look you in the eye.

“I- I got it specifically f-or this occasion. It would be r-ude to let it g-o to waste.” You burst out laughing, unable to contain yourself as he fumbled with his words. Even drunk he was a gentleman.

“You should go to bed. Come one, up you go.” You tried to pull him to his feet, but his weight was just a little too much for you. “Come on, you can stay here for the night, but I’m not letting you sleep out on the balcony.” You looked at the view in front of you, feeling once again grateful you had found a house with one. It reminded you of your first meeting with him.

“Come on Sebby, don’t make me drag you there.” At the sound of the nickname, his body shot up.

“I’ve said not to call me that, it makes me feel like a child.” It didn’t shock you that this was the only thing he had said without completely losing to flow of his speech.

“You kind of remind of a child right now. So I think Sebby is quite fitting.” He looked at you for a good minute before the words registered. You watched as he pushed himself up on unsteady feet, his hand reaching up to catch your cheek. Despite his drunken state, his gaze was almost focused as he looked into your eyes. You couldn’t help but stare back, getting momentarily lost in the grey.

“I remind you of a child?” in that moment you thought of him as everything but a child, but you weren’t about to admit it.

“I think it’s time we both go to bed.” You tried to ignore the beating of your heart as you helped him inside, towards the sofa. You tried to let him down as gently as possible, helping him get a little more comfortable before draping a blanket over him. His eyes closed quickly, the alcohol finally getting the best of him.

“Goodnight, Sebastian.”

[catch22inareddress]

Kismet

Della Fontaine is the typical girl next door. Fresh from North Carolina and coming to the Big Apple for the change of scenery. However, her next door neighbor, Sebastian, is the opposite of her. Outgoing, handsome, popular, with a twinge of heartbreaker lurking around his soft edges. 

His ex is the epitome of everything she’s not. A model, vicious to the core, and willing to go to extremes to make sure that Sebastian’s sees Della for what she isn’t. Her. 

 What happens when neighbors become friends while trying to ignore the chemistry between them? Will the stars keep pushing them together or will it all come crashing down?

Chapter One: Designed by Destiny

1. Fate; a predetermined or unavoidable destiny.

I never believed in fate or kismet or whatever the hell you want to call actions or consequences that makeup one's life. It's arduous to think that no matter what you do, no matter what decision you made you will end up at the exact same point because it was by fate's design. I've made selfless choices and been a reasonable person in hopes that the next person would pay it forward, not to benefit myself or my situation. Other times, I've been selfish and made a decision only to help myself, I'm human. Yet, none of these choices that I have ever made hurt anyone.

Every break up I've ever had has been amicable. Although, it probably helped that it lacked in all things passion and was more practical than anything else.

The reason I'm currently mulling over my belief in kismet is the fact that my very handsome and recently unattached neighbor is doing pull-ups from his balcony while I'm pretending to read my book.

While I could say that me choosing to sell all of my belongings and leaving all of my friends behind in North Carolina to move to New York was just an arbitrary decision. That this building that my new boss just happened to need to sublet was a fluke when I had no place set up to live. I could also say that the fact that my neighbor being non-other than Sebastian Stan, the walking lady boner, was just pure luck and nothing else.

Kismet? Luck? At this point, do I really care? Not particularly. He's single, sure. However, let's be realistic. I'm not like his last drop dead modelesque Brazilian style girlfriend. I'm the girl next door type who works mostly from home as a graphic designer who decided that for whatever reason, wanted to work closer to the actual office when I don't EVER go into said office. Him just being single means I don't feel guilty for eye diddling him from the next balcony.

I've been here for a few months and still haven't gotten used to his god-like perfection. I keep thinking that staring at him more will help with that but ...no, not yet. Like many other women, I am not immune to his charms.  At our first encounter, I nearly was a stuttering mess of goo all over the floor. The mere recollection of it makes me turn shades of pink.

3 months ago:

"Hmm, box number 5?" I said looking for my mailbox. The numbers were worn off even though the building was newly renovated and in near pristine condition.  

I spotted it and inserted the key, but it got stuck to my dismay. "Seriously?" As I grunted and tugged at the key, I heard a girlish giggle from behind me.

"Have you never worked a mailbox before?" I turned to see this 5'10'' model that was apparently a mean girl in school. I gave her my best smile despite myself.

"I have, but it would seem the ones in New York are sooo different from North Carolina....and I just can't figure it out." I drew out my southern accent for effect.

Just as I said it a broad-shouldered man with a baseball cap came around the corner chuckling at my statement, while his girl toy was huffing at my sarcastic remark. To be frank, I was surprised she even picked up on the sarcasm. "Not funny, Sebby."

He shrugged. "Funny, especially because you were being rude, Sophia." Hmmm. Sophia. Sounds exotic. As soon as my eyes meet his bright blue orbs, all my snark went straight back to the Carolina's in a handbasket. "H-Hi."

He held out his hand. "Sebastian. We're neighbors. This is my girlfriend. Sophia. I apologize for her manners, she can help it, but she chooses not to."

My slack jaw must've thrown him off because he just smirked and stared at me. I managed to garner some of my wits back, yay for womanhood everywhere. "Well, that sounds like a personal problem. I'm sure she'll do great things in life.." He smiled as we both took in her making funny faces at her selfie camera. He grunted out a sarcastic yea as I tried to hide my snicker.

He reached over my shoulder while I held my breath wondering what in the good gravy he was doing. Unfortunately, he didn't grab a lock of my hair and gently put it behind my ear, he did do the next best thing. At least, that's what I will keep telling myself. He grabbed the key that was currently within the grips of hell, otherwise known as my antique mailbox.

He laughed while he gently tried not to manhandle the government's property while I ogled him and his primadonna princess stared at her snapchat and took selfies behind us. "All the boxes get stuck occasionally. You have to pull the key out just a bit, then turn." I tried to hold my breath versus breathing the scent of him in. All woodsy pine and pure deliciousness. "Ah. Thank you for letting me in on the building secret. And here I thought I would have to move." He instantly frowned.

"Now we can't have that, neighbor. The last woman that lived here was a wallbanger and kept me up most nights." Had I been drinking the pretentious drink that his girl was drinking, I would've spewed it all over his preposterously handsome face.

"Sorry, wallbanger? Loud?" He chuckled while Sophia cleared her throat showing her readiness to leave. Slowly,  the three of us made our way to the elevator while she remained transfixed on her social media app. I couldn't help but think that if this were my man, I would put my phone in the sink disposal for more talk time with him, yet here she was squandering precious minutes. Like they say, 'One man's trash is another man's treasure.'

He blushed a bit before continuing his explanation. "Yea. She had a few boyfriends throughout the few years she lived here. But man was she noisy,  the walls aren't thick just so you know. Our beds are on the same one, and her frame would knock the wall and wake me up. I was sooo happy when she moved." I couldn't contain the laugh that bubbled up from within my noticeably smaller chest. Damn Sophia and her genetics....or surgeon.

"Well, that's just fantastic. I'm never gonna look at my boss the same way." He looked at me with his brow furrowed. "Oh, I'm subletting from her. She's..my boss." He let out this heartstopping laughter that made my cheeks hurt I smiled so hard. I probably looked like the Chesire Cat just got a catnip toy, but I didn't care. I risked a glance at Sophia, and she seemed annoyed at his larger than life presence and laughter. He held his stomach as his laughter quieted down.

"That is rich. Please, tell me how that goes." The elevator came to a stop on our floors, and he gestured for Sophia and me to get off before him. I walked past him to go to my door and looked back after he let her inside. He spoke a bit softer to my surprise.

"Sorry about her. She's...well nevermind. Just sorry. But hey, don't be a stranger." I smiled as I tried and failed miserably to be casual and missed my door, nearly falling into my apartment. Sebastian, thankfully, stifled his laughter and only smiled at my clumsiness. "Thanks, but I don't want the fake nails to come out. Oh! That was mean. I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "No worries. What's your name, Carolina?" I smiled. "Della, Della Fontaine." He went closer into his apartment. "Sebastian Stan. Nice to meet you, Della Fontaine."

Present:

He was the most genuine person I had met since coming to New York. Well, his whole crew was pretty straightforward, to be fair. He took me under his wing and showed me the best food trucks and places to gorge myself properly.  

"Hey, Della!" He ripped me from my thoughts as he threw a pen at my head from his balcony, missing me entirely but scaring my cat Hagrid. Sebastian yelled out a sorry to the beautiful Maine Coon as he skirted inside to find sanctity.

"You shouldn't throw things, Seb. Last time you pegged Will, and it poked Chris in the eye. Not even sure how that happened." He shrugged and wiped the sweat off his brow while leaning on the railing; naturally, I ogle. I give good ogle.

"What are you doin' tonight, Carolina?" I put my book down, sitting up and shrugging. "I'm suupppooossseee to be setting up my dating profile, but if someone dangles a twinkie in front of me with better plans, I'm game. By better plans I mean laundry, grocery shopping, moving, even driving you to the airport." He frowned but then smiled at my ridiculousness.

"You can't do online dating in New York. So I will definitely rope you in on something better." He stood up stretching. Was he purposely trying to torture the women and me across the street? I know at least two of them have binoculars. One of which is his ex. Yep. Different story, another time.

"First, thank you for whatever plans you have pre-emptively made for me. Second, why can't I date online in New York?" I stood up and wandered over to my side of the balcony to be closer to him.

He gave me his famous, "Are you serious?" look, like that was going to provide me with allll the answers to the universe. My rebuttal was a challenging, yet mature, raising of the eyebrows.

"Alright, you want me to say it? You're too sweet and good, the girl next door. Wallstreet will devour you. Which means you'll have to bail me out for kicking the douchebags ass for hurting you." Part of me jumped for joy at the thought of my very own knight in shining armor, but then the nail in my coffin came.

"Look, if you really wanna date someone. I can set you up." What's that? Oh sure. I love roses on my headstone. Red, please.

I cleared my throat and tried to sound sprightly. "Only if I get to screen them like online dating can. I don't want to be set up with your dry cleaner or shoe repair guy. Not when you have people like Evans in your arsenal of friends. Not sayin' Evan's would go for a girl like me, just don't set me up with a dumpy loser or I'll cut you. Or at the very least jump on my bed all night long."

He narrowed his eyes, daring my sauciness. "You wouldn't." I nodded. "Oh, one bad date and trust me, I would. Chose wisely." As I turned to sashay into my flat. "Text me my plans tonight, so I know what to wear."

I felt like I won this round as I looked back at the playful glint in his baby blues.

The strikethroughs below didn’t work so head on over to the tag list and take a peek or make corrections.

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PLEASE COMMENT AND MY ASK BOX IS ALWAYS OPEN. I’M A LOVER OF ALL MY READERS SO FEEL  FREE TO HIT ME UP ANYTIME!!! THANK YOU!!!

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Sebastian Stan: @guera31 @irishwaffle @hiddlestonstansworld @mcdesij @marvelsvalhalla @sebstanwintersoldier27 @sj-thefan

[hannah-khoury-deserves-better]

Take Me Home Chapter 3

Summary: Hannah gets some unexpected news and she and Tammy have to figure out their new reality.

Words - 2180

Warnings: none

Pairings: Hannah Khoury/Tammy Gregorio, Tammy Gregorio/Sebastian Lund (Friendship) Hannah Khoury/Jack Sloane (Friendship), Jack Sloane/Leon Vance, others to be added.

A False Spring

Hannah wandered around  her kitchen, luckily she had managed to sleep some the night before. She could hear Naomi’s footsteps from the hallway, she was up and getting ready for school

“Naomi, get ready we have to leave in ten minutes” she called out.

As Hannah made Naomi’s lunch, happy that her new child had only made her sick once so far, and if she had to get sick again, hopefully would be after she dropped Naomi off at school.

“Mom, are you okay?”

“Yeah baby I'm fine why?” Hannah asked as she put a sandwich in Naomi's lunchbox.

“I heard you get sick this morning and you’re acting weird.” Naomi replied as has came up to Hannah.

“Just a lot on my mind baby.”

“When are you moving in with me and Dad?” Naomi asked, her face tilting up to look at Hannah.

“Baby we talked about this, your dad and I aren't married anymore, remember?” Hannah said as she brushed some of Naomi's hair back.

“That's not fair mom.”

“I know.” Hannah sighed.

“Go get your shoes we're about to be late.”

---

As Doctor Mary Riggen walked in, she greeted Hannah, “Hey Agent Khoury, how are you doing today?”

Hannah who was sitting on the exam table, in the paper gown they had given her “Okay I think, I've been sick a couple of times but the exhaustion is the worse part.”

“Well those symptoms should hopefully die down in about a month for you.” Doctor Riggen said as she looked at her tablet “Your blood test confirms that you are in fact pregnant.”

“Congratulations. But I want to do an ultrasound today, both to confirm how far along you are, and make sure everything looks good. I see on your chart that you’ve had several miscarriages.”

Hannah nodded “I want to do as much as we can, I want a healthy baby.”

“Okay lean back then, sorry the gel is cold.” Doctor Riggen said as she adjusted the probe, “And there is your baby” she said pointing at a small blob on the screen.

Hannah felt some tears prick at her eyes, as she looked at her new child that was growing inside her.

“Okay Agent Khoury, you can sit up.” As she handed Hannah a towel to wipe her stomach off with.

“So you are seven weeks along. Everything looks good, try and take it easy in the field.” Doctor Riggen said as she made notes on the tablet. “I'm giving you a prescription for prenatal vitamins. I want to see you again when you are twelve weeks.”

The front desk will help you make a appointment and give you a copy of the ultrasound if you want it. Do you have any questions for me?” She said as she looked up at Hannah.

“I don't think so, but I can call if needed correct?”

“Yes anytime. We have a 24/7 line here. My extension is 482.” Doctor Riggen said as she left the room.

Hannah leaned back, her pregnancy seemed much more real now, even more than it had before. Her thoughts however were cut off by her phone ringing.

“Yeah Loretta.” She said as she answered it, listening to Loretta speak “okay on the way. I should be there in about thirty minutes. Have the team get started.” She said as she hung up the phone and moved to get redressed and go to the new crime scene.

---

The sun beat down on the ally near Jackson square, the wind was picking up and pushing trash about. Hannah walked over towards the group of vehicles she could see, she pushed through the crowd towards Lasalle, who was waiting for her with her jacket and hat.

“Hey boss, Naomi okay?”

“Yeah, she’s fine, just needed to do something before I came in today,” Hannah replied as she pulled the jacket and hat on.

“So what do we have? And who found the body?”

“Tourists that were coming back from a walk about Jackson Square and found em” Chris replied as they walked towards to the crime scene.  

���Ah, Hannah there you are. We have Captain Gregory Hant he has multiple stab wounds including one to the chest, which I'm guessing is the cause of death.” Loretta said.

“But we also have some type of substance on the captain’s body. Sebastian can try and identify it when I get him back to autopsy.”

The substance was grabbed by the wind and blew towards the team as they listened to Loretta.

“It's okay I've already got a sample of it. I don't think we need to worry.”

“Thanks, Loretta. Street cams?” Hannah asked.

“Camera coverage is light here, I'll ask the businesses if they have angles here,” Tammy said.

“Great, Lasalle, you and I will head back to the squad room see what we can find out,” Hannah ordered.

---

Hannah looked up at Chris “Ready?”

“Yeah what do ya got,” he replied as he entered into the center of the room.

“Captain Gregory Hant worked on the wharves, he was in charge of buying fresh produce for the Navy.” Hannah said as she brought up his file “recently however he's been accused of mishandling funds. Other than that his service records clean.”

Chris nodded “married with a four-year-old son. Wife said he's been distant lately, but was a loving father.”

Hannah bit her lip, “So, no clear reason to murder him?”

“I might have something” Tammy hollered as she walked in, “One of the cameras caught this near the time of death” clicking on her keyboard before gesturing to the screen. There was a man in a dark uniform and he came out of the alley a knife in hand before wiping it down and throwing it in the sewer grate.

“Was that a marine that just killed our victim?” Chris asked slowly.

“Looks like it,” Tammy said.

“Okay, Gregorio get with Patton see if he can find this guy somewhere else, get a better angle.”

Hannah said before turning to Chris, “Lasalle look into anyone who might have had problems with the victim, see if you can find who accused him of mishandling the funds”.

“On it, boss” Chris said as he headed to his desk.

“What about you?” Tammy asked.

“I'm going to the morgue for an update from Loretta,” Hannah said as she left the office.

---

Hannah walked into the JPSO building, looking around for Loretta’s lab.

A warm dulcet voice came from behind her, “Hannah, here for an update?” Loretta asked as she came past her.

Hannah blinked out of her daydreaming, “Yes I am. What exactly are we dealing with here Loretta?”

Loretta gestured  as she made to the table, “We are dealing with a vicious stabbing. The killer wanted to cause maximum pain before allowing him to die. Captain Hant took stabs to his shoulder, both hips and grazes to his ribs and short puncture wounds to his legs,” the coroner pointed to the x-ray photos of the victim’s body.

“The causes of death is dissection of the aorta. The blow to the throats was postmortem.”

Taking a deep breath and pointing to the screen “The substance found appears to be mold of some type, he had also breathed it in shortly before death.”

“How can you know when he breathed in the substance?” Hannah asked.

“It was present in his sinus cavity but there was no inflammation so the body didn't have enough time to react to it,”

Hannah took a deep breath “What about the team? Do we need to be worried?”

Loretta shook her head, hair covered by the purple and tan scrub hat she wore. “No the team should be fine, the mold had degraded below the infective dose, and no one has a compromised immune system.”

Hannah paused in her pacing, “What about an unborn child. What would exposure do?”

“As long as the mother isn't infected the child should be fine. Why?” Loretta looked at Hannah, her dark eyes seemingly seeing through her.

“I'm seven weeks pregnant,” Hannah confessed, looking up briefly before dropping her eyes back to to the ground.

“Hannah that's wonderful!” Hannah smiled softly.

“What does Ryan think? He must be pleased.” Loretta said as she rounded the autopsy table.

“He doesn't know. I got pregnant the day before he signed the divorce papers. I'm not sure when I'm going to tell him or Naomi. Or how.” Her smile dropped as she explained the aftermath of it, her eyes still locked on the ground.

Loretta leaned her head to one side. “What do you mean?”

Hannah took a deep breath before starting “Ryan and I, really wanted another baby after we had Naomi, but I had five miscarriages after having her. The last one five years ago, came after I was at work, helping with this big op, I was almost three months along. That miscarriage was the beginning of the end for us. He blamed me for losing his baby.”

Hannah shook her head. “After the group made an attempt on my life and Ryan and Naomi were nearly killed. I sent divorce papers. He finally signed them but if he knows I'm having another baby. He’ll take custody the moment I give birth.” Hannah turned her head up to see Loretta “I can't make the mistakes I made with Naomi. I want this baby.”

Loretta pulled Hannah into a hug, feeling Hannah's body crumple against her before tears soaked her shoulder.

“Let's get you some tea sweetheart.”

---

Sebastian walked into the morgue looking at a tablet “so I figured out what kind of mold it is. Did you know there's over a hundred thousand types? Which is kind of terrifying if you think about it.”

“Sebastian dear, what did you find?” Loretta interrupted him.

He looked up and found a slightly teary looking Hannah sitting next to Loretta both had tea mugs in their hands.

“Oh, it's Stachybotrys Chartarum, black mold. Unfortunately, it's kind of common, it likes damp and warm places.”

“So all of New Orleans,” Hannah groaned as she put her mug back on Loretta’s desk. “Let's head back to the office, see if the others have had better luck. Thank you, Loretta.”

“You're welcome dear. My door is always open.” Loretta said as she picked up the mugs and went to clean them.

----

Hannah and Sebastian walked into the office together, while he split to the side to upload a map. Hannah turned to look as Chris, a questioning look on her face. “Did you find anyone with problems against the Captain?”

“Kinda. His brother in law, Sam Grady, has fought him several times, the last one two weeks ago, got the police called on ‘em. But he's out of town so he didn't do it.”

“At least not personally.” Sebastian pointed out.

“Also his second in command at the wharfs, Commander Lucas Thiy, is the one that filled the report against him. He's currently working on taking supplies out to a boat, due back in a hour. I'll pick him up then.”

“Okay take Sebastian with you for backup. And talk to him there, just in case.” Chris nodded and gestured for Sebastian to follow him out.

Hannah shook her head and went to see where Tammy and Patton where on finding the suspect.

She walked into Patton’s office “hey please tell me, you have good news.”

“Nope sorry boss, pretty quickly after the first time we see him that Gregorio found we only have a few more shots of him.” Patton said, shaking his head.

“Okay what are you doing then.” Hannah asked.

“I'm running with Gregorio’s help, my new program. It should be able to figure out our killer’s info. Like height weight that kinda thing.”

“Do programs that do that not already exist? And it can be mistaken by things like clothes and thick soled shoes.”

Patton gasped, “Not my program. It's written to take all that into account.”

Hannah turned to Tammy “And your doing what?”

“I'm trying to figure out his training. From how he walks and kills, I'm not thinking marine anymore.” Tammy replied her eyes glued to the screen.

“Okay I'm going to go start tracking the captain’s movements throughout the city the day he died.” Hannah said as she left the room.

----

Tammy walked into the main office and smiled she and Hannah were the only ones left in the building.

“Hey, what are you doing” she asked as she sat on the corner of Hannah's desk.

“Trying to keep up with the paperwork that comes with being lead agent,” Hannah said as she lent back in her chair.

“Oh I never want to do more paperwork than I do now.” Tammy said with a laugh.

“So you want to get out of here. Dinner and a movie at my place?” Hannah asked softly.

“Naomi’s back with Ryan. It's just us.”

“Sure, let me get my jacket.” Tammy said moving back to her desk, before meeting Hannah at the door, the two walking out hand in hand.

[sunken-standard]

Hello are you still taking requests? 5,7 and 93, please. Ignore this if you aren't :) thank you.

So this starts out one way, and then ittook a turn and I just… let it.  Because life does that.  Andbecause I need to stop erasing and rewriting everything I put down. So yeah.  It’s not in any ‘verse, though it could be a newone—Shit-We-Won’t-Tell-The-Grandkids 'verse, maybe.

“What do you mean you’releaving?”/ “Please, I’m begging you.”/ “I oweyou what?”

“Sorry, I’ll only be a second, Ijust need to grab a—is that my razor?” Molly stopped shortbefore she got to the medicine cabinet.

“Well I was hardly going to ruinmine just for my legs.  The blades cost £4each.  You’re dripping, by the way.”

“Bollocks,” she said, puttingher hand over the sink while she opened the medicine cabinet.  Shereally should keep plasters downstairs in the kitchen, since that waswhere most of the injuries in her flat occurred (very few of themactually hers), but it just felt weird and wrong to do that.

She heard the sounds of Sherlockgetting out of the bath behind her and clamped down on the urge tolook; she’d seen him naked a million times before (she was a doctor,not a woman, and modesty was for other people anyway) butnever with shaved legs and she was a bit curious if he’d gone anyhigher.  She was really a terrible person.

“Why are you bleeding so much? Did you hit an artery?” he asked, peering down at her hand.

“No, but I did take off part of mythumbnail with the cheese grater.  Don’t worry, I picked it out ofthe cheese, so no one’s getting any surprises on their pizza.”

“Shame, it’d be a bit like findingla fève in a King cake.”

“King cake.”  It rang a bell,but wasn’t something she could ever recall having.

“Mm.  French thing, for Lent. They put a figurine inside a cake and whoever’s lucky enough to findit gets to be king for the day.  Hardly worth the dental work, butthat’s the French for you.”

“Ah.  So was that for some case inFrance?” she asked, watching the blood swirl down the drain asshe washed the wound.  She always thought it looked pretty.  Andthat’s why they don’t let you out of the morgue, she thought toherself.

“No, family.  Fully one quarterFrench on my Mum’s side.  And Catholic, to boot.”

She turned to him with an expression ofmock-appal.  "A Papist?  The horror.“

He smiled softly as he looked down atthe plaster he’d grabbed, peeling the paper tabs off the sticky part. "I was even baptized Catholic, as far as that goes.  And I cansay the Rosary in seven different languages.  Came in surprisinglyhandy when I was in Eastern Europe.”  He used gauze to dab awaythe blood that continued to well up from the wound, then gentlyapplied the plaster.

Her breath caught at the weird, casualintimacy of the moment; she wasn’t used to being the one patched upand if she did need it, she always just did it herself.  She soughtdesperately to cover the things it was pulling out of her; she wasafraid she might do something stupid like kiss him.  "So whywere you shaving your legs?“ she blurted.

"Why do you shave yours?  I likethe smoothness,” he said with a straight face, then cracked intoa smile.  "It’s for a client.“

"What are you, Pretty Woman?”

“That remains to be seen, but onehopes.  When’s the last time you’ve been to a drag show?”

“Why would you assume I’ve everbeen to a drag show?”

“Jim Moriarty, with whom youwatched Glee, was your boyfriend and you’ve gone tothree gay weddings in the time I’ve known you.  Your femininity andsexuality are completely non-threatening and, work attire aside,you’ve got a strong sense of personal style.  Of course you’ve beento drag shows.  Also, I’m going to need help doing my make-up.”

The desire to kiss him evaporated andwas replaced with the desire to throttle him instead.  She settledfor a scowl.

*

“Well, I mean, Cher is kindof a cliche,” Molly said, following him to the bar.

“I don’t even know who Cher is,”he complained, gesturing to the bartender to get his attention.

“Of course you don’t.  Have younever been to a fancy dress party?  There’s always that one couplethat goes as Sonny and Cher because it’s 'retro.’  Though, I mean,more in the 90s than now, but old people still do it.”

“Wouldn’t know, I delete alltraumatic experiences.”

She rolled her eyes and ordered herselfa double bourbon on the rocks and got Sherlock something neon pinkwith a crazy straw.  He might delete it later, but she was going toenjoy that memory for a long time.

“Molly?!  Molly Hooper?!” Oneof Beyoncé’s back-up dancers appeared at her elbow.  "I knew itwas you!  I’d never forget that nose!“

She struggled for a second to place thevoice with a name, and then it hit her.  "Bassie!  How areyou?” she gushed, a reflex.  Sherlock cleared his throat.  "Oh,right, Sher—Shireen, Bassie, Bassie, Shireen.  I used to go outwith his flatmate Jim,“ she said, lifting her eyebrows toemphasize.  Sherlock stiffened next to her, then relaxed.  After all,it was five years ago and Sebastian had been cleared of anyinvolvement straight away, so it wasn’t like he was any kind ofthreat.

Bassie put his hand to his ample bosomand made a sad face, obviously in memory of Jim, then reached out toher, eyes and mouth going wide.  "Oh my God, though, do youbelieve it?  You did hear about it, right?”

“Saw it in the paper.  So sad,”she said as convincingly as she could.  

“I think he’s still outthere somewhere.  He always said he wanted to go to Thailand, I betthat’s where he is.”

Sherlock choked on his cocktail.  Sheand Sherlock were two of the only three people alive that knewexactly where Jim Moriarty was, and it was definitely notThailand.

“I wish he’d call me, I’d fly outfor drinks.  Any excuse, yeah?” Bassie went on, then winkedtheatrically.  "He was so down after you two split.  Oh my God! Did you know?“

She tittered and sipped her drink,aware that Sherlock was watching her like a hawk.  "Nope. Didn’t even know he was gay, let alone a criminal mastermind, hehheh.”

“Gay,” Bassie rolledhis eyes.  "Jim was above labels.  Unless it was Westwood orMcQueen, I am I right?“  He glanced behind the bar.  "Gotto dash, sweetie, I’m on again in ten with Lady HaHa and getting intothe latex to be one of her little monsters is murder.  Stickaround til the end of the night.  Please, I’m begging you.  I’m doing'This is My Life,’ never a dry eye in the house, you’ll die.  Textme, we’ll do drinks sometime.”

He was gone with a flurry ofair-kisses, leaving only a cloud of hairspray and Chanel in his wake.

“He’s really not that campy inreal life,” she said.  She remembered him as pretty reserved,actually.

Sherlock let the crazy straw drop fromhis lips, leaving a smudge of lipstick on the plastic.  "Mm. Wouldn’t imagine he’d get very far in civil engineering if he were. You never mentioned—"

“Isn’t that your client overthere?” she deflected, pointing to a random stranger.  There wasa lot she never mentioned about Jim, and it was going to stay thatway.

“What?  Where?”

*

“Oh bugger,” she said whenthe song changed.  It was a drag club; it was bound to happen.

“What?” Sherlock asked,perking up, no doubt on guard for another surprise social interactionor something actually related to the case.  "And why is everyonelooking at me?“

"The song.  It’s Cher. It’s like Rocky Horror, they always do something special for thevirgins.”

“How do they know I'm—”

She ignored him, swigging the rest ofdrink and slamming the glass down on the bar.  "Alright, let’sdo this.  You’re going to owe me.“  She took Sherlock’s wristand pulled him into the middle of the dance floor.  She wouldn’t beany kind of assistant if she let his cover get blown because he was acomplete knob that didn’t know a single song written after 1920, withthe exception of (and God only knew why) Ringo Starr’s discography. Besides, standing around all night in a club full of good-looking,well-groomed men that wouldn’t grope her or press theirawkward boners into her arse was just a wasted opportunity.  She’ddrink away her embarrassment later.

"Wh-what are you doing?”

“It’s not what I’m doing,it’s what you’re doing.  This song is for you.  Startdancing and act like you’re having a good time,” she shoutedinto his ear before she let go of him and went for it.

She felt like the hero in an actionmovie, running through no-man’s land and drawing the bad guys’ firewhile the other part of the team did the thing to save the world. She channelled every liquor-soaked night out after a bad break-upthat she could actually remember as she belted out the opening linesof 'Believe,’ using Sherlock as her prop, dancing against him andsinging to him and oh God there really wasn’t enough booze in theworld for this.

And then nothing in the world madesense because he started dancing.  With the music.  And lip-syncing. Perfectly; well-rehearsed.  

Oh, she was going to kill thatprick.  He did things like this to John all the time (and sometimesMary, and Greg once or twice, and his brother whenever he possiblycould), the tit, but she thought she had some kind of… immunityfrom it.  Sure, there was probably some reason he’d acted allclueless and then suddenly switched gears, the deception was all partof the plan, always was, but he could have at least trusted her forthat bit like he normally did.  

Suddenly the music and dancing and thewhole novelty of a case in a drag club didn’t seem quite as fun andexciting as it did five minutes ago.  She powered through the rest ofthe song anyway, dancing her way back to the edge of the floor andletting him have centre stage, just as he’d probably planned from thestart.

She didn’t know why she was hurt by it;it wasn’t exactly a rational or proportionate response.  Leaving wasnot a thing an adult woman would do, but she really didn’t want to bethere anymore.  It wasn’t like he really needed her for the caseanyway, he could internalize his own executive functioning for onceinstead of making someone else do it.

And then he was suddenly in front ofher, blocking her way to the front of the club.  "Where are yougoing?“

"Should be fairly obvious.  I’mleaving.”

“What do you mean you’releaving?  Are you not feeling well?”  He reached out to touchher forehead and she batted his hand away.

“I’m feeling fine.  Next timemaybe—” she cut herself off, pressed her lips together.  Shedidn’t want to have to shout over the music to explain it to him.  Itwasn’t worth it.

“Next time what?”

“Just, finish your thing here,”she said, then walked away.  She was only a little let down (thoughnot surprised) when he didn’t follow after her.

*

“Really hoped you’d make more of ascene,” Sherlock said breezily, coming to stand beside her atthe bus stop.  She’d only been there a few minutes, though she hadtaken her time getting there.  She needed the air to clear her head.

“What are you talking about?”

“When I humiliated you on thedance floor.  Thought you’d have a stronger reaction.”  Hewinced as he pulled off his wig, pins catching in his hair.

She had a feeling she was about to havethat stronger reaction with whatever he said next.  "So it wasall part of your plan.“

"Obviously.  Really though, Ican’t believe you thought I didn’t know who Cher is.  If I canidentify a gay man by his underwear, it’s a safe bet I know a bitmore about the culture.”

Wait, was he trying to tell hersomething?  Mrs. Hudson used to think—  But Molly’d never got thatvibe from him (then again, she hadn’t got that vibe from Jim, and,well), and there was Irene Adler and the other one, and he’d neversaid anything in all the years he’d known her, but they didn’t talkabout those kinds of things—

“No, I’m not gay, you of allpeople should know that,” he said, sounding slightlyexasperated.

“Me, of all people,” sheechoed flatly.  She felt like it was an insult of some kind and shewasn’t sure why.

He looked at her like he was trying tofigure something out, then looked away; she wasn’t sure what wasbehind that.  Whatever, it didn’t change anything.

“So why couldn’t you just tell meto 'make a scene’ when you gave me a signal?  I would have gone alongwith whatever.”

“Because I really did need you toleave and I needed it to be authentic.  Thought for a minute youweren’t going to.  Didn’t have a plan B this time, either.”

“Mm.”  She was beginning tounderstand why John reacted how he did sometimes.  Right then, shereally didn’t care about the case.  He’d obviously solved it, theside of good prevailed, hurray, and the only collateral damage washer trust.  It was like he delighted in finding the most convoluted,idiotic ways to get from point A to point B sometimes and it didn’tmatter who was in the way.

“You’re angry with me.”

“Not really angry, no. Disappointed,” she said truthfully.  Sometimes she didn’t evenknow why she invested the time in explaining and correcting his badbehaviour.

“And hurt.”  It was aquestion.

“A bit.”

“I’m sorry.”  His voice wassoft, sincere.

You always are, she thought withan edge of bitterness.  She shrugged.  It was a stupid thing to behurt over, anyway.  She just needed a bit of time to get over it.

They stood in silence for another fewmoments, until Sherlock finally spoke again.  "You said I wouldowe you.  I owe you… what?  Name it,“ he said quietly.

"Doesn’t matter, it was just athing I said.  You don’t owe me anything,” she said just asquietly.  She really just wanted to forget about it.

“I could put the wig back on andwe could go to a different club.  You like dancing,” he offered. He was only half-joking, but she could tell by his voice that herealized this wasn’t the kind of thing he could charm his way out of.

“Maybe some other time,” shesaid, trying to keep her voice neutral.

“Would you—ever… want to?  Godancing.  When it’s not for a case.  After you’re finished beingcross with me,” he said, looking out into the street.  He wasn’tlooking at anything, he was just avoiding looking in herdirection.

Any other time she’d wonder if sheheard him correctly, or what kind of angle he was working; she hadthe thought that the timing was too bad for it to be anything but asincere offer.  And the way he asked wasn’t the way he asked if shewanted to go grab something to eat after work or if she wanted to gowith him to see this or that new exhibit at whatever museum orgallery.  It was like he was afraid she’d say no and the rejectionwould actually mean something.

“Like a date,” she said.  Itwas more of a question.  She felt like an idiot for even asking, andmaybe it was all just wishful thinking again like the time she’dmisread things so badly before that party, but she couldn’t help butfeel like this time was different.

“You could call it that, Isuppose.  Wouldn’t be inaccurate,” he said, finally looking ather out of the corner of his eye.

Her pulse sped up and the part of herthumb she’d grated off throbbed uncomfortably; Sherlock was stillmostly (absurdly) in drag and the night was muggy and the streetsmelled overwhelmingly of wee and spilled beer.  It was about as farfrom 'fairytale’ as one could get.

“After I’m finished being crosswith you.  And you won’t do anything like that again.”

“I won’t.  I truly am sorry.”

“I know.”

They stood in awkward silence foranother few moments until the bus turned the corner at the end of thestreet.

“You’re not actually expecting meto take the bus all the way back to yours as a form of penance, areyou?”

“Tempting, but no.  You can usethat magical cab-summoning superpower of yours any time now.”

Sherlock gave her one of those soft,genuine smiles of his and, while making her stomach do the samelittle flip it always did, it made her giggle, too.

“I didn’t even get to make anyjokes about John Waters, RuPaul, or Kinky Boots.  So manymissed opportunities.  Guess you’ll just have to take another casethat requires High Drag.”

“Ah, no,” he said, swinginghis wig as they walked in the direction of the taxi rank.

“Can’t blame a girl for trying,”she said.

[thejourneymaninn]

What he deserves (Januanders Day 5 – Anders and Hawke)

Anders x Male Hawke  (angst, fluff, happy ending) 

In the mountains just outside of Kirkwall, right after the Chantry explosion, Anders and Hawke discuss what happened – and their future.

Read on AO3

No matter how hard he tried, Anders couldn’t tear his eyes away from Hawke’s beard. It was full of dirt. Maker knows that was nothing unusual, Anders had lost count of how many hours he had spent picking the remnants of their dinner out of this bushy affront to hygiene, but this time, it was different. This time, it was his fault. The ashes and gore in Hawke’s beard, the wounds on his arms, the exhaustion on his face. All of it – his fault.

“I am so sorry,” he began to – what, beg for forgiveness? For mercy? For love, knowing full well he should count himself lucky if even a single scrap of affection had survived? There were no words to make up for what he’d done, but he stumbled through them anyway, clumsily, hauling himself up his mountain of guilt in the desperate hope that there might still be a future at the top. “I…I can’t believe you let me stay with you. And…stayed with me. After I destroyed everything you cared about… I know I don’t deserve it, but I swear…”

“Anders.”

The way Hawke said his name, slowly, with that stress on the “An” and his jaw setting, Anders knew he was in for a stern lecture. He had feared those for so long, dreading the moment Hawke would finally realize how much of a burden he really was. It had taken him almost three years to finally understand that they were meant to console, not crush, that his lover never challenged who – or what – he was, but the way he doubted himself. This one would be different. This time, it would hurt. Reprimands. Hate. From the one person who had always supported him. Whose trust Anders had betrayed. He deserved it, every piercing word and insult. If Hawke hit him, that too, would be warranted.

But that wouldn’t make it hurt any less.

“The people I love are the only thing I ‘care about’, and you didn’t destroy them. Our friends are here, safe, sleeping peacefully in that cave over there. My sister is with them. Free. You saved her life. She would be dead if it weren’t for you. What you deserve is more than I can give you in a lifetime. But that is not why I stayed with you. I stayed because I love you.”  It was stated calmly, his voice not raised, his hands folded in his lap. And in his eyes, a flame that should have been snuffed by Anders’ deception. Still burning, with steady warmth. Still seeing him.

He had no right to hide the ugliness. Not after everything, not anymore. In the Gallows, he had been selfish, high on Hawke’s support, on the fact that he was still alive. Hawke, this man who had surprised him yet again, deserved more than that.

“Sebastian was right when he warned you I was selfish. I cannot rest until mages are free. I will never abandon my cause for you.”

“Good. You shouldn’t.”

“Hawke, I’m serious. I know I dragged you into this, but you don’t have to…”

He didn’t get to finish the sentence.

“You didn’t drag me into this, Anders. You helped me out of a hopeless situation. You know perfectly well Meredith called for the Rite of Annulment weeks ago.”

“I…I didn’t think you heard…” Anders stumbled through the words in little more than a whisper, all air knocked out of him by the revelation that Hawke had known.

“Of course I fucking heard, sneaking up and listening in on people are what I do. I would have thought you knew that, by now.”

“You didn’t say anything.” He wasn’t in the position to, but he couldn’t help sounding defensive. When Hawke had accused him of having the mages’ blood on his hands, he had known…

“Well, yes, because I was hoping I could fix this without you throwing yourself right into the line of lightning. Seems neither of us has learned much in the last three years.” Hawke sighed, his exhaustion clearly visible beneath the wry smile he sent his way. “I thought with my influence…people would listen. Turns out being the Champion doesn’t mean that much after all. I asked the Grand Cleric to intervene, to send word to the Divine, tell her what a dangerous zealot Meredith was. She refused to get involved. She didn’t care, Anders, not one bit. She wouldn’t go so far as to sanction it herself, but she would have let the whole Circle be slaughtered without batting an eyelid. That’s who she really was. I do feel sorry for Sebastian; I know she was like a mother to him, but I certainly won’t be mourning her. So you see, you didn’t drag me into this. I was right in the centre of this mess, sitting on my arse, pondering what to do while my sister’s life was at stake. If you hadn’t done something…”

A few pebbles came lose as Hawke drove his foot sharply into the ground. They bounced off the ledge, clattering into the abyss behind them. In the screaming silence that followed, Hawke met his eyes. “Why do you think Meredith ordered the tower searched ‘top to bottom’? You know as well as I do that she was looking for a reason. If she had found anything – a papercut, a handkerchief from a bloody nose - she would have annulled the Circle right there. Without anyone around to know or help them. You didn’t condemn them. You saved them. You saved her.” Hawke’s face lost its resolve, his eyes leaving Anders’ to stare at the ground. “I am sorry I didn’t make that quite so clear right when it…happened. In that moment, it was…a shock.” He lifted his gaze back up to his. “But now that the shock has faded, I am not sad to see the Chantry burn. It made my father hate himself. All those years of being free, and he was still a slave to the Circle’s teachings. He drilled them into Bethany, made her afraid of her magic, made her feel guilty for who she was. Two good people, and the Chantry filled them with nothing but fear and self-loathing.” There was a sad smile on his face as he cradled Anders’ face in his palm. “Three good people. Until one of them, the strongest one, the one I will gladly tell the world I love, decided it was finally time to do something.”

Everything he had ever dreamt of hearing, but it wasn’t all there was to it. He furiously tried to blink away his tears, tried to steady his choked-up voice.

“That ‘good man’ just started a war.”

Hawke didn’t let go of his face, didn’t waver. He just nodded, one curt, determined movement. “Sometimes, that is necessary. Not all that long ago, I was in an army that marched right into one. I’ve never heard anyone say that was wrong.”

“That’s not the same; the Darkspawn would have crushed us otherwise…”

“As the Chantry has crushed mages for a 1000 years. It was about time you fought back…we fought back,” he corrected himself. “It’s also about bloody time the rest of us finally stood up for you.”

“It’s not your fight,” Anders protested weakly. He had to give him one last out; he owed it to him.

Hawke heaved an exaggerated sigh. “You really need to work on your listening comprehension. As I said about thirty seconds ago, it is my fight. And as I said about ten minutes ago, I would come with you even if it wasn’t. My happiness was never in Kirkwall. It was always with you. All I need is your stubbly face, my dog and, if you insist, a cat….And well, my sister. I’m sorry, but there’s no way we can keep her from tagging along. She’s a Hawke; we are immune to no.” His gaze turned inward, a warm small playing about his lips. “My sister, the rebel. Finally telling the Chantry just where they can stick it. I must say, I like the sound of that.”

Anders found himself smiling back. “I don’t mind if she comes with us. I like Bethany. She always tried to understand me, to understand everyone…And she said I reminded her of your father.”

Hawke blinked at him, slowly, silently. And blinked again. And again. And ten more times.

“That’s…an image I did not need…Like my father…does that mean I…No,” he shook his head with a fierceness that resembled that of his smelly Voidbeast of a pet, “not going there. Let’s just…get some rest and forget you ever said that. We have a long way ahead of us.”

Anders bit his lip. He had to ask one last time.

“Together?”

Dirty or not, Hawke’s beard tickled the way it always did when he kissed him.

“Together. Always.”

[hamilficsfordays]

New Beginning—Chapter Two: The New Normal

Disclaimer: I don’t know Lin, nor do I know any of his friends or family.

Also posted on Ao3

Summary:  Alexa is first introduced to Hamilton, in its final preview weeks.

Rating: T

Words: 2870

Askbox / Masterlist / Chapter One / Chapter Three

The next morning, the Miranda household routine continued as usual

Vanessa was up first, off to shower before work, Lin up shortly after to cater to Sebastian’s needs. The house was quiet.

“I left plenty of milk in the fridge for the day,” his wife announced, coffee in one hand, a case file in the other. “but maybe try something solid. We bought that really expensive baby food and haven’t used it yet.”

Lin nodded, accepting her instructions as she kissed both her husband and son goodbye.

“I’ll see you later. Text me if anything happens.” she glanced down the hallway at the closed door to Alexa’s room. “I do mean anything.”

“It’ll be fine,” he reassured her. “Don’t worry.” With that, he kissed her once more before nudging her towards the front door. “Have a good day at work. Go be the lawyer this city deserves.”

As the hours passed, there was still no sound from Alexa’s room. A knock at the door pulled Lin from any concerning thoughts.

A man dressed in a UPS uniform handed him a large package with his name on it, but a return address in California that he didn’t recognize.

Upon opening the package, there was a small card at the top among an array of needles, tubes, syringes and a large case of medicine.

It was Alexa’s, a month’s supply of medication to keep her immune system under control.

He cleared a shelf in the fridge, placing the case of medicine in its own space.

A quick glance at the clock on the kitchen stove revealed that it was after noon and the teenager had not left her room.

Lin figured it couldn’t hurt to knock, but when he approached the door and did just that, there was no response. Another knock, the same result. He hesitated to open it, intent on preserving her privacy, but after a third knock, the hesitation had vanished.

The room was humid, the air conditioning off despite the excruciatingly warm temperature Alexa was still asleep, curled into the fetal position with her book, open, under her arm.

From the doorway, he could see her bruises had gotten worse overnight, her skin covered in purple blotches. She was in pain, no doubt.

He headed back to the kitchen, grabbing an unopened bag of mixed vegetables from the freezer and a dish towel, before carefully placing the bag across her ribcage. She groaned, both of her eyes blinking open.

“Well at least your eye has gotten better.” he pointed out, turning the air conditioning on before sitting in the desk chair on the far side of the room. “You know it’s after noon, right?”

“It’s also summer.” she reminded him, pulling the bag and dish towel off. “This is the first time I haven’t been forced to wake up at six am in like, a year. God forbid I take advantage.”

“Leave it,” he instructed, directing to the frozen produce. “It’ll help.”

She rolled her eyes. “How would you know?” She attempted to sit up then, wincing before settling back down.

“You’re not the only one who got beat up for reading.” he admitted.

Surprised by this confession, Alexa hesitated but carefully placed the ice back over her ribcage as she slowly sat up, resting against the headboard of her bed.

“Good.” he smiled. “We’re making progress. While we’re at it, it can get really hot in here. You should probably keep the air on while you’re home.”

She could feel the beads of sweat on the back of her neck, running a hand through her hair.

“I uh,” she paused, embarrassed. “I didn’t know how to turn it on.”

“Oh,” he was taken aback by this, but quickly tried to pass it off as normal. “Yeah, they probably had central air down in Alabama. No window air conditioners in sight. He glanced around the room. “We have a remote control for this one.”

Catching sight of it on the table, he tossed it her way. “The machine itself is kind of iffy but… the remote is pretty self-explanatory.”

“Thanks, I guess.” she placed it on her bedside table.

“So… V left for work a while ago and I don’t have to leave until four… are you hungry?”

“Leave for what?” she questioned.

“I have a show tonight,” he explained. “I usually like to get there by five.”

“Y-” she paused, recalling the memories from the day before. “Aren’t you a writer?”

“Writer… actor…” he shrugged. “Sometimes it goes hand in hand.”

“You’re performing something that you wrote?”

“Just a hobby of mine.” he teased, reminding her of the harsh comment she had made the day before. “So… breakfast?”

“Um,” her eyes glanced elsewhere, embarrassment on the rise. “Can I…” her voice trailed off. Though she was conditioned growing up to believe that the arts were an impractical and unreliable career path, she couldn't help but be curious about what being a successful artist looked like.

Not as if she would ever admit it.

“What’s up?” Lin asked, sensing her hesitation.

“Nothing, nevermind.” She adjusted the frozen bag slightly on her abdomen before lying back flat on the bed.

He paused for a moment, attempting to read her body language. He knew there was a chance he’d get chewed out for asking, but spoke up anyway.

“Do you want to maybe come with me?” he offered.

“I mean, if you’re forcing me.” she stated, not meeting her eyes as if doing so would force her to express emotion.

He nodded once. If that’s what it took to get her there, he could play along.

“Alright, we’ll leave in a few hours.”

-

The Public Theatre wasn’t that big, but the set of Hamilton seemed to climb far from the stage anyway. Having worked on the production for about six years, Lin was brimming with pride to see it come to life. He brought Alexa to the stage a few hours before their call time to show off the revolving turntables that defined the entire show.

“Shit, that’s like, so un-ironically hip-hop.” she noted.

“I know.” Lin nodded, hardly able to contain his excitement as it matched her own. “That’s what they’re supposed to be.”

He hopped off the stage while Alexa stood in the spotlight, briefly examining the view from the stage. He watched her face light up, how her presence seemed to shine. There, at center stage, was the first time he’d seen her genuinely excited. He snapped a photo of her from behind, careful not to show her face. He wasted no time opening twitter.

[@Lin_Manuel: Enter stage right: @VAMNit and I’s new pride and joy. Our foster daughter, Lex]

The tweet blew up immediately, prompting Lin to turn his phone off to begin preparing for the night’s performance.

“So while you’re here, let me introduce you to the cast of this like, so un-ironically hip-hop show.”

Lin brought her through the backstage area, passing by each dressing room and introducing her to each respective cast member. First Pippa, then Jonathan, Leslie, Daveed, Renee, Oak and a few female ensemble members before they reached one of the last dressing room.

He knocked briefly before opening the door.

“Hey Jas, I want you to meet—oh.”

They both stopped in the doorway, seeing both Jasmine and Anthony in the room, on the couch, sitting rather close to one another.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was interrupting.”

“What? No.” Jasmine pulled back, straightening out her hair.

“Nah, you’re not interrupting anything.” Anthony gave a polite smile.

It wasn’t hard to pick up that they were hiding something, and the teen noticed almost immediately. Still, she said nothing.

“Okay... well guys this is, Alexa. She’s staying with me and Vanessa. I was just introducing her to everyone.”

“Nice to meet you.” they both said at the same time.

“Hey could y’all maybe keep this on the down low?” Anthony requested, putting his arm around Jasmine. “It’s kind of early and we don’t want everyone on us about this yet.”

“I won’t say anything.” she finally said, glancing up at Lin. “It’s not my place to tell. I don’t know about him though.”

“I saw nothing.” he insisted. “Your secret is safe with me.”

When it came time for curtain, Lin had someone escort her to a seat in the middle of the third row. As the other seats started filling in, she was on her phone, watching the notes on Lin’s twitter post grow by the second. Most of them strangers, but occasionally the rare celebrity or a major news outlet would like or retweet it. She made a mental note to tell him not to ever reveal her identity on his twitter. The last thing she wanted was a slew of attention from strangers.

It’s not like she did anything to deserve it.

As the curtain raised and the music started, Alexa realized she didn’t know much about Alexander Hamilton, but as a bastard, orphan, son of a whore, she found him rather relatable.

There was applause when her father stepped into the spotlight for the first time, causing her to slowly sink down into her seat.

Having a foster parent that was even kind of notable was a new experience. It wasn’t a huge deal (it wasn’t as if they were on Broadway), but as the writer, composer, lyricist, and star of this show that appeared to be sold out, he’d be the first parent of hers who had any results come up during a google search of their name. A result that wasn’t a criminal record.

Still, the notion that she lived with someone that might get recognized on the street made her pretty uncomfortable.

She let the thought go, settling into the production.

The audience remained engaged over the three-hour production, laughing and crying respectively. It wasn’t until the final song that emotions began to run high towards the middle of the third row.

Company, except Eliza: The orphanage.

Eliza: I established the first private orphanage in New York City.

Company, except Eliza: The orphanage.

Alexa could feel her heart speed up as she heard the words for the first time. She could feel tears forming in her eyes as the song progressed, a sob eventually escaping.

At the end, the cast proceeded through their curtain call, lining up across the stage. The audience was on their feet, Alexa in tears as she stood, applauding furiously.

As she headed backstage, she made a beeline for Lin’s dressing room. He was having a conversation with the conductor for the show, when she hugged him, unannounced.

He hugged back, attempting to mask his surprise.

Alex could see how pleased his friend was. “Hey, I’ll just call you in the morning. Great job, man.”

“Yeah, you too.” Lin smiled, waving goodbye to his friend before turning his attention back to his daughter.

“Lex, are you crying?”

“I just… I wasn’t expecting that. I’m usually really good with history; I need to brush up.”

He hugged her tighter, kissing the top of her head. “It’s okay to feel emotional, it’s a really emotional show.”

“I’m not emotional.” she finally said, pulling away, wiping tears from her eyes. “I just wasn’t expecting it is all.”

“You don’t have to feel ashamed for having emotions.” He reminded her.

“I’m not.” she insisted a third time. “Not emotional, I mean. I’m fine.”

“Okay…” He knew bringing it up a fourth time would probably get her more irate than upset. He decided it best to just drop the subject. “Just give me a second to get my street clothes back on and we can take a cab home.”

“Okay,” she nodded, stepping out into the hallway. She turned to closed the door but hesitated before doing so.

“Hey, Lin?”

He turned his cell phone on, glancing up at her. “What’s up?”

“Thanks for taking me. I uh… I learned a lot. About the arts,” she paused. “And Hamilton.”

He nodded, reassuring her that he knew what she was trying to say. “I hope I at least opened your mind to other possibilities.”

She could admit that the idea of being a successful artist didn’t seem as impossible having seen it being done. A fact that she thought would be best to keep to herself.

“I’ll wait for you outside,” she confirmed, closing the door behind her.

-

As the summer went on, her creative break out slowly began. She would sit in the house of the Richard Rodgers Theatre in early July with her MacBook, slaving away on pieces that Lin would only catch glimpses during their twelve-hour tech rehearsals. Happy to see her productive, he wanted to encourage her even further.

“Hey Gen,” he caught her attention one afternoon during a five-minute tech rehearsal break.

She glanced up from her computer, giving him a confused look.

“Did you just call me Gen?”

“Yeah.”

“Like… Gene Kelly you musical freak?” she teased.

“You—” he paused, surprised at her words. “How do you know who Gene Kelly is?”

“How would I not know?” she shot back as if it was obvious.

“I mean…” he struggled to think of an explanation.

“I was in middle school chorus,” she explained. “My teacher liked playing older movie musicals on slower days. She was a big Singing in the Rain fan. We think she had a thing for Gene Kelly.”

“Oh.” He shrugged. “I mean it’s one of my favorite movie musicals, so I get it.”

“So Gen doesn’t mean Gene Kelly?” she confirmed.

“It’s short for genius,” he explained, sitting in the chair beside her. He glanced at the screen, eagerly following the words on the page. “What are you working on?”

She slapped the computer shut then. “It’s not ready yet.”

“You know, I would show my early work to family and friends all the time. It’s a great way to get feedback. It’s how Hamilton came to be.”

She sighed, her hands covering her face. “It’s not worth the attention.”

“Part of being an artist is being confident in your work.” he pointed out. “If you don’t think it’s worth the attention, it’s going to show.”

She shrugged, staring down at her closed laptop. “I don’t know.”

“How about this?” he offered. “You show me some of your work, I’ll show you some of my work. Unfinished, just like yours. You’d be surprised how long the writing process takes before it makes it to Broadway.”

“Or, you could see something I wrote and let me go to opening night,” she suggested, smiling. “I know you guys set a date for the first week of August, and I—”

“Lex,” he started, “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“Why not?” her smile had faded completely, she was obviously upset with him.

“Listen, you’re free to see the show to any day after that, I just don’t think opening night is the best idea.”

“But why? You’re always saying you want to expose me to the arts more—”

“Yeah, by taking you to the Met, not opening night.”

Alexa didn’t respond, only glared at him.

“There’s going to be a lot of celebrities and cameras there and I’m not sure we’re ready to have you put in the spotlight like that.”

“I can avoid cameras.” she insisted. “I do it all the time.”

“Not to mention, during the after party, it’s just going to be you in a sea of drunk adults.”

“So?”

“So that’s not the best place for a sixteen-year old to be.”

She sighed, crossing her arms. “I’ve been around way too many drunk adults to be upset by them at this point.”

“V and I were going to hire a sitter that night.” he informed her.

“I’m sixteen, I don’t need a sitter.”

Lin sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Lex I don’t feel comfortable with you being there. You can stay home with Sebastian and the sitter. I’m sorry, but that’s my only offer.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll be sure to get plenty of writing done that night. Not that you’ll ever see any of it.”

“Okay everyone, back to places!”

The stage manager called for everyone to return from their break. Lin attempted to kiss the top of her head only to have her pull away before promptly returning to the stage.

Alexa opened her laptop, pressing on with her work,

[hiddlesgirl]

SH 215: A Problem Of Memory

Another great episode, a new character, some emotional scenes and a huge shock. I really liked the emotional scenes involving Magnus and Simon, they both made me cry and they both made some progress towards emotional stability. I love that we are seeing Izzy continue to grow in strength and confidence; she is giving out some great advice too.

We open with Simon being in a bad place emotionally, he is still extremely upset about what happened with Clary, feeling confused, conflicted and raw. The vampire Quinn buys him plasma; plasma is the largest component of blood which is rich in nutrients, it is often used to help treat immune and blood disorders, as well as burns, shock, trauma to name a few. To vampires it seems to have the effect similar to a shot of vodka. Think of blood like a vodka and coke, mixed the vodka isn’t as potent; but take vodka on its own and the effect is stronger; in this case the vodka is plasma.

Quinn then takes Simon to a bleeder den; a place where mundanes willing let vampires feed on them; I liked the set and the lighting. Simon feeds on a girl named Heidi, he is a bit wary because he doesn’t know if he will be able to control himself after what happened with Jace. I felt sorry for Simon, but the situation was understandable; his feelings are a mess and we all do stupid things when we’re hurting.

If you did not freak out about seeing Alec wake up, shirtless, on Magnus’ red sheets then you are lying. Not quite the bed scene we were all hoping for but maybe we’ll get there, and we can’t complain about seeing a shirtless Alec right? I really loved how Alec stretched his arm across the bed, feeling for Magnus and immediately sat up when he noticed his absence; and the sound of his voice when he called out Magnus’ name, all raspy and rough from sleep (I’m dead).

It is clear that Magnus is being tormented by the memory of his mother’s suicide, a side effect of being tortured. I liked the flashback scene, I love that we are getting to know and see more of Magnus past, even if it is extremely painful. I know that his mother’s death is different from the books because in the books she hung herself whereas in the show she stabbed herself; there could be a few reasons for this. One, to see a body hanging is quite a graphic thing and would probably be a bit more traumatic from the audience than seeing someone stabbed (which is a regular occurrence on the show); plus it may have been too graphic for the child actor they would have to have for the scene, or too graphic for the network (Freeform) which is owned by Disney. Two, without the keris we wouldn’t have had this build up since 2A, it is unlikely that a piece of rope would have lasted for centuries plus a noose is less conspicuous than a dagger, we wouldn’t of had that moment of Simon trying to use the keris to open Camille’s box too. Three, there maybe be another piece of the puzzle we haven’t seen yet as to why she used that dagger, or chose to stab herself as the way to take her life.

We get another example of Magnus using make up as an armour too, when he was alone looking in the mirror he had no makeup on, but when he faced Alec is had full makeup with eyeliner and eye shadow. It is clear that he is trying to present a normal front and trying to hide his pain, even from Alec.

I love the domestic vibe of the scene; and yes I did squeal when Alec said ‘I love that face’, it is such a sweet line and moment.  Alec says that it is the fourth morning in a row that he has woken without Magnus being in bed; so for at least four days straight he has been sleeping at Magnus’. I think that this is a great indicator for their relationship, they feel comfortable sharing their space and sleeping with each other; Alec also feels comfortable sleeping away from the Institute despite knowing that people undoubtedly know this which shows a lot about how far he has come in terms of being comfortable with his sexuality and relationship with Magnus.

He expresses his concern for Magnus; he knows that something must be bothering him. I adore their conversation about Alec’s ‘adorable little snores’, Alec’s slightly offended expression and Magnus imitating little snores is so freaking adorable. I love their morning kiss, it is so sweet and domestic.

Magnus deflects from himself by asking Alec about Luke and while it is a genuine concern it is mainly a way to divert Alec’s attention; as Alec begins talking Magnus slightly dissociates, or zone’s out, and I really like they edited it, muffling Alec’s voice so that you experience what Magnus was experiencing. Alec once again voices his concern, he knows that Magnus is acting differently and wants him to be able to talk to him, but doesn’t push too much;  it is very clear that Magnus is still very effected by what happened to him. I also loved that Magnus touched Alec’s deflect rune, I love that rune okay.

I liked that Izzy told Jace to leave Clary and Simon alone; right now they need to figure out their feelings and what that means for their relationship. Jace’s interference would only make it worse, especially for Simon. It’s okay for Jace to have feelings for Clary but he needs to let her figure out her relationship before he gets involved; it wouldn’t be fair to any of them, especially Simon.

Alec asks Jace for reassurance about his decisions as Head because he knows that his actions with the Downworld meeting are controversial; and he has felt slightly conflicted about Luke. He wants to know that Jace supports him, especially because Jace was the one to give him the job, he doesn’t want to fail or disappoint him. Alec is just learning to trust his gut more and have faith in his own decisions, so once in a while he just needs reassurance from another Shadowhunter, from his Parabatai, that he is doing a good job and the right thing.

Izzy is giving more sage advice to Clary, to give Simon time; time to process what happened and how he feels about it. Clary is adamant that she needs to fix it now, she keeps denying her feelings for Jace which is not helping the situation, and she needs to be honest with herself, so that she can be honest with Simon. Izzy is right, having feelings for two people at the same time doesn’t make you a bad person, but Clary needs to be honest and not mislead Simon because it will only hurt him more in the end.

The scene in the boathouse breaks my heart, Simon just wants Clary to be honest with him; when he found out they weren’t siblings she told him that she didn’t have feelings for Jace and it wouldn’t affect their relationship. He wants her to be honest even if it hurts him; he needs to know how she feels so that he can decide what he wants. His line ‘Because you don’t mean it the way I mean it.’ made tears build in my eyes, he knows that she doesn’t love him to the extent he loves her and it is killing him. He knows that they do not love in equal measure, maybe not even in the same way; if the Seelie Queen had asked him no one would have come close to Clary. He says that them trying to be more than friends was a mistake, because now he knows that she doesn’t love him how he loves her. He has loved her for so long and so deeply, but he cannot bear to feel second best or to stay knowing that she has feelings for someone else. Alberto and Kat broke my heart.

I love the shot we have of the Institute; I think it was really beautiful. We learn that Jace’s mother willing went to Valentine for the injections of angel blood because she mad miscarried before and was afraid of losing another baby; her motivations are completely understandable. I am a little bit suspicious of her death, apparently she committed suicide after Jace’s dad died and her body was ravaged by wolves; but she wanted a baby so much that she went to Valentine for injections so it is a little hard to believe that she would willing end her life, and the life of her child. Maybe I am just reading in too deep and the death of her husband was completely unbearable; but if she went to those lengths to have a child I struggle to believe she would willingly end that life.

I adore the scene between Simon and Luke, that he reassures him that he with always be there for him no matter what happens with Clary. I think this is a huge relief to Simon because Luke is the only parental figure he has who knows about the Shadow World, so to lose that would severely affect him. Luke’s line ‘You’re the closest thing to a son that I got’ warms my heart so much, he is reassuring Simon that they are family and that isn’t going to change. We also learn that a girl was killed by a vampire, and Simon’s prints were on her body; it was Heidi.

I love the scene between Alec and Izzy, he is beginning to open up to her more about his feeling, relationship and ask for her advice. Again he is showing concern for Magnus, and I think that he feels that being around Valentine wouldn’t help Magnus right now. Izzy is giving out more great advice by saying not to let Magnus push Alec away and that he may find it hard to ask for help; Magnus is extremely powerful, had few friends and has lived for centuries so it makes sense that he would find it difficult to be vulnerable and ask for help. Alec thanks her but says that right now Magnus needs space; I love that Alec, while worrying for Magnus, wants to respect his need for space and doesn’t want to make Magnus uncomfortable by pressuring him into opening before he is ready.

We meet Aline, who is a friend of the Lightwood’s and Sebastian’s cousin although he doesn’t seem to recognise her to begin with; which definitely sets off alarm bells. She points out that his behaviour and disappearance is strange and has come to a shock to his family, and that he seems different. She is definitely suspicious of him, which makes us even more suspicious; there is definitely something wrong. Which we find out when he goes back to his apartment to reveal that the person in his closet is the real Sebastian Verlac; he is an impostor.

Simon goes to Raphael for help, he knows that Raphael will be less likely to hand him over to the Clave and give him a place to lay low. Right now, thinking he killed someone, he is too ashamed to go to Luke who is a Cop, he isn’t talking to Clary and almost everyone else he knows is either a Shadowhunter or involved with one. So Raphael is really the only person who he has left to turn to, however Raphael wants to know how Simon became a Daylighter. Despite everything that is happening right now Simon will not betray Jace and put him in danger, he knows that it’s not Jace’s fault that Clary has feelings for him and that Jace doesn’t have any malicious intent towards him. So although Simon is hurt and getting rid of Jace would maybe solve his issue with Clary, there is no way that he would willingly give information that would cause harm to come to him. Simon doesn’t have it in him to willingly hurt someone, especially Jace who he has come to trust, saved his life and they have almost become friends. I admire Simon so much; despite his own pain he will not betray or hurt Jace.

Aline voices her suspicions to Sebastian, but they are soothed when he tells her about her girlfriend Caroline. He uses this information to reassure her and get her to relate and sympathise with him. It is great to have another LGBT+ person on the show, she seems to be an interesting character and I hope we get to see more of her. I love her coat and weapons holster by the way, badass.

We then see the real Sebastian escape the apartment, driven by the knowledge that the cousin he trusts is at the institute; he knows that if he can reach her he’ll be safe. I have to give kudos to Will for his acting, to portray to very different people in one episode is amazing; his body posture, expressions and demeanour changed for each character, I am very excited to see more of him in the rest of the episodes.

We find out that Simon didn’t kill Heidi because it was bites on her feet that were fatal, and Simon has a foot phobia; he finds out that it was Quinn when he goes back to the bleeder den. He is angry that Quinn is so nonchalant about killing her and is adamant that he is going to turn him over to the Shadowhunters; Quinn starts a fight. I really like this fight scene, it is rare we get to see Simon fight and I loved it; the choreography was really good and it looked realistic. When Simon killed Quinn it seemed that the other vampires were a little afraid of him; with his Daylighter status and showing that he is not afraid to kill other vampires, he has shown that he is not to be messed with. It will be interesting to see his interactions with other vampires after this.

We see that Magnus is still taunted by flashbacks, this time they include a man shouting at him as he stands by his mother’s body; he is so zoned out that he doesn’t even notice Alec’s arrival. He quickly tries to distract Alec, and himself, by fixing another drink; but Alec is not going to let it go this time. I adore that the first thing Alec says is that he loves him and he is there for him, not matter what; he is reassuring Magnus of his feelings and that Magnus doesn’t need to be scared.  Also love that Alec used Magnus’ words against him ‘When things get crazy, don’t push me away’, he wants Magnus to know that he is there for him and to let him in.

Magnus opens up, explaining that he is reliving his worst memory over and over. I love that when Magnus sits down Alec knees in front of him, he is at eye level, close enough to give support and comfort but not to close as to crowd him. We learn that the man in the flashback was Magnus’ stepfather, who called him an abomination; this is when I begin to cry, Alec looks so bewildered at the thought that someone could think of Magnus as an abomination. He knows that Magnus is kind, selfless, loving and supportive.

You can see in Magnus’ eyes and expression as he talks that he believes all the things his stepfather said to him, he believes the worst in himself and it absolutely shattered my heart. Magnus had killed his stepfather and you can see how much that memory torments him, I believe that he did not mean to kill him only to hurt him. He was a boy who has just found his mother’s body and then was subjected to verbal abuse, amid the turmoil of emotion you can understand him lashing out just wanting everything to stop. He probably underestimated his power and killed his stepfather by accident; if it was his intention to kill him he would not be so tormented by it.

Magnus further breaks my heart with the line ‘I never wanted you to see this terrible, ugly side of me’, he never wanted Alec to see the dark parts of his past and the terrible things he has done, even if they were by accident. He didn’t want to have to show that dark part of himself to the person he loves. When Alec says ‘Hey’ you can see the hesitation in Magnus’ face, he is expecting Alec to be disgusted, appalled or to hate him; he has so much self loathing that he is expecting Alec to reject him now that he has seen this dark piece of his past.

Alec’s line makes me love him even more than I already do ‘There’s nothing ugly about you’, he knows that no one is perfect and that everyone has things that they wish they hadn’t done or that hadn’t happened. He is not going to reject or love Magnus any less because of this part of his past; he knows that Magnus would never willingly hurt an innocent and that he lashed out during a time of great emotional anguish at a person who was causing some of his suffering, and he isn’t going to blame or leave him because of that.

The utter look of disbelief and relief of Magnus face makes me cry, he was fully expecting contempt and rejection but was amazingly surprised by this wonderful man that he loves. Alec loves him, all of him, and the tragedy of Magnus’ past isn’t going to change that. He was so scared to open up and lose Alec, now he knows that Alec will be there, will not run away and he can be vulnerable with him without fear of rejection. I love their hug, Alec giving comfort he knows that it was difficult for Magnus to open up and have to relive that memory and he just wants to embrace him, and comfort him. Magnus relishes in the hug, knowing that despite knowing of his past this man loves him, allowing himself to take comfort from him. I just adore this whole scene, Harry and Matt once again shattering my heart with their amazing acting; I love these two characters, and their relationship, so much and I cannot wait to see their journey continue.

Poor Sebastian, just as we think he might reach Aline in time his imposter (literally) stabs him in the back. It will be interesting to see if fake!Sebastian is going to leave the body for people to find and go into hiding; or whether he will hide the body and continue his masquerade a while longer.

We see Luke and Raphael work together to encanto Ollie after she witnessed Simon’s strength and speed, it is important to both of them that she forget. Not only for the safety of Simon but for the entire Shadow World. However, they do not know that she shared a picture of a wolf with her girlfriend, so it will be interesting to see if this unravels because of that.

Simon reassures Clary that they will always be friends, that he still wants to be friends but the he is going to need to time. Time to process, time to heal and time to adjust back to being friends. This is completely understandable, he needs time away from her right now to let his heart heal before he can be her friend again; especially if that is going to mean seeing her with Jace. I love Clary for reassuring him that it doesn’t matter how long it takes she will always be there for him. She loves him and wants to be friends, but she acknowledges his need for time and will give it to him.

They are transferring Valentine to Idris, I am glad that Magnus will be the one to open the portal; I think that he needed to be present for his departure, to know that he’s gone and can’t hurt him anymore. Valentine has to have the last word with his dig about the air reeking of Downworlders, despite him having no control over the situation he remains smug and confident. As soon as Duncan grabs his shoulder you know Valentine is not going to make it to Idris, and he doesn’t. Our first glance of Idris looks beautiful; I look forward to seeing more in future episodes.

Valentine and Duncan appear in a basement with Sebastian waiting for them, it is revealed that he had been holding Duncan’s family hostage to get him to comply; and then he kills Duncan. Valentine seems confused and asks Sebastian what he wants; Sebastian then removed his glamour and HOLY FUCK! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! 

The most common nickname I have heard is burnt chicken and I cannot help to agree, plus it makes me laugh. Sebastian then says ‘Hello, father’ so he is Jonathan Christopher; the believed dead son of Valentine and brother of Clary. I have to say huge kudos to the makeup team for the burnt chicken, apparently that took seven hours; amazing!

I really liked this episode, I have not disliked an episode of 2B so far, they are seriously stepping up their game and I am so excited for the rest of the season.

P.S; I have a theory about Sebastian burning himself. I think that it might be a habit or tick, and that he actually doesn’t really feel the pain of the heat burning his skin. He looks to be completely covered in burns, so I don’t think him burning himself would hurt him that much. It will be interesting to see if this is explained, and to learn why he is that way.

[nibimatatabi]

*shrieks*

Okay but like

HERE LET ME JUST

so I’ve always had Cassie be an only child BUT LISTEN UP FRIENDS

what if she has an older sibling? let’s say a brother because why not

and his butt goes to Hogwarts and he’s only a year older

and because I hate myself/my Cassie

He gets put into Gryffindor [hi yes my name is Nibi and this the story of why Cassandra should ALWAYS BE AN ONLY CHILD because this is going to BE AWFUL]

So now imagine for a moment my Cassandra who has met Maggie a year early and is kind of jaded because she’s afraid she won’t be a witch (even though she displays more magic early on than her brother does). And he’s always been a good brother, chivalrous and kind and daring. So y’know, A+ perfect Gryffindor compared to his sneaky, sly little sister who was called a snake-in-the-grass at age five (by him, none the less!).

So they move to London sometime the summer when her brother turns 11; so yeah, duh, Hogwarts. And little 10 year old Cassandra is grumpy because ‘I want to go HOME’ and her brother gets an owl, but she names her Sunshine anyway. And when he comes home for Christmas he basically cannot shut up about the school, and it pisses Cassie off, because she’s still convinced she won’t get a letter. So her brother tells her how amazing Gryffindor is, and how kind and accepting and how much he’s learned about the wizarding world and he’s making friends with all kinds of people (”Peter is muggle-born like me! And Kingsley wants to work for the Ministry like his Dad!”) and he’s just ‘aaaaah’ so excited. And he says something about Slytherins being jerks like all the time, and they use this awful horrible word to talk about muggle-born students and he hates them. But that’s okay - everyone hates Slytherins. They’re stuck up and full of themselves and think the world revolves around them and they all aspire to greatness.

“Well what’s wrong with that?” Because Cassandra is God’s Gift to the World Amen (no joke; she knows she’s special, she knows she’s good, she knows she’s going to be something - whatever it takes to get her where she wants to be, she has no problem doing). And her brother gets all annoyed and tells her that she doesn’t get it, since she doesn’t go there. And their parents have to break up the fight because CHILDREN WE ARE ON A PLANE.

So when summer rolls around, he’s smitten by his friends and is practically begging to get to see them over the break. Mother says ‘hell no’ because she doesn’t do magic at all, and Father is like ‘we’ll see; let’s include your sister though’ because she dogged them all around Diagon Alley while her mother just looked dazed and confused. When the owl arrives bearing two letters, Cassandra is overjoyed. She’ll be just as good, if not BETTER than her brother, so help her God.

So of course Big Brother introduces Baby Sister to Gryffindor Friends Kingsley, Peter, Remus, Sirius, and James. And that is how Cassandra meets Regulus because Sirius is just like ‘WAIT you have a little one too?!?’ And then the kids get unceremoniously kicked because ‘not enough space go sit with someone else’ and Cassandra glares at her brother and then just looks at Regulus with distaste like ‘how dare you.’ So he starts to walk away and she follows him because ‘no no I don’t do people well and my brother just dumped me on you so you’re stuck with me til we’re sorted.’

So this is how she gets introduced rather lackluster-ly to the rest of her house. Barty Crouch, Evan Rosier, Mulciber, and Avery in particular (guess who looks at her and goes ‘a good target’ - rhymes with Kevin, sounds like Hosier). So the train ride is kind of (very) AWFUL and by the time they get there she can’t decide if she wants to strangle these five boys or make friends with them (spoiler: it’s actually strangle them).

So her brother hugs her and tells her she’s going to make such a good Hufflepuff and she just kind of ‘what now?’ because she’s LITERALLY just sat with five Certifiably Slytherin boys so again: pisses her off. Cassandra still endures the whole ‘you don’t belong here’ bit but she’s a little too pissed off to care at that point because HOW DARE YOU since all her brother said about Hufflepuff is...loyal and kind. And she’s just like ‘I AM NOT KIND YOU FOOL!’ aka Disney Villain child over here.

So of course, she saunters on up to the sorting hat like she owns the place. And after three minutes the hat says Slytherin. And her brother is floored, so as she’s going over to the table he makes a ginormous arse of himself “BUT SHE’S MUGGLE-BORN! PROFESSOR SHE CAN’T!” and Cassandra’s mouth opens and she’s all kinds of pissed off and angry while her twelve year old brother is being jerked back down, but she tosses her head and stalks over to the Slytherin table which has gone silent. Dead. Silent. And she plants herself next to Regulus with all the fury a tiny 11 year old ballerina has. He moves away as much as he can because even at 11 she can be scary when she’s mad.

Cassandra is not welcome in the house. She is ridiculed. Right out the gate. Because her brother has ruined any chance of her making friends. Rosier and his lapdogs pick on her pretty much immediately, but she is fearless - at first. She snaps back at them and when the girls start to pick on her she still doesn’t cave. She just gets mad at her brother, who looks at her with pity and keeps pulling her along with him to make friends with people in his year.

This is how she meets Evanna and Lucile. Evanna, who becomes Cassandra’s best friend, and Lucile, who becomes like a sister. The three girls quickly become friends, even though Cassandra is still adamant that she doesn’t do people (’I have a cat; his name is Sebastian. There’s a reason for it’). By Christmas break, her brother pities her and she tells him right where he can shove his pity because he’s the reason she’s sitting with the two Ravenclaws and not the girls in her house like Kaylyn and Lucinda.

“I may have made a mistake with Cat...” because for whatever reason that has always been when he calls Cassie and it’s scary fitting with how cat-quiet she is and how sneaky she can be. And she also talks to her orange cat, who cannot stand him. Probably because Cassandra is furious with him for ruining any chance of making friends. “Shouldn’t she at least be friends with your brother, Sirius?” There’s a LOT of nervous laughter and Sirius kind of looks away just ‘eheh.’ “Did the hat throw my baby sister to the wolves?!”

“To the snakes,” Peter is helpful. Cassandra’s brother is not amused. When they get to the station, Cassandra’s brother is all helpful and cheerful and grabs his baby sister, hauling her away from Lucile and Evanna and literally dragging her to their parents, already trying to lie through his teeth about how good of a big brother he’s being.

“You literally ruined-”

“Ruined her appetite! I bought her too many sweets, so sorry,” and he won’t let Cassandra talk about school.

“Why are you being so mean? You’re not letting me tell Mama and Papa about my house,” she’s puffed up.

“Do you have anything nice to say?”

“Yes!” He doesn’t buy it, and tells them she’s a Ravenclaw - the smart house. Cassandra hisses at him, cat like, furious. But they’re still siblings and she’ll still bite someone’s head off for saying anything bad about him. Cassandra spends the break sulking and is glad to return to Hogwarts, where she can pretend her kind and charming and chivalrous brother doesn’t exist. It mostly works, until someone makes a snide comment about Delacroix and she hexes someone in her own house. Oops. That’s a week of detention. The only thing she learns from it is to be stealthier.

Big Brother keeps an eye on his Baby Sister and Cassandra learns that she can’t sneeze without a Gryffindor telling him.

By her third year she’s mostly immune to the comments. Her brother literally kicks Rosier’s arse in the hall for pulling his wand on her, and while she’s thankful and relieved that she didn’t have to get into trouble, she still chews him out. “I can handle myself!”

“Oh really? Four on one? Does that sound fair?”

“Mulciber and Avery are all bark and no bite. And if Black puts a hand on me you AND Sirius will crawl all over him - he’s not STUPID,” she realizes as she says that that oh God she’s just like every other girl in her house and crushing on Regulus. God. Dammit.

“And what if they weren’t?”

“Then you’re an idiotic boy for risking yourself fighting one of them!”

“Oh, you wouldn’t have helped?” Cassandra opened her mouth, closed her mouth, glared at her brother.

“Of course I would have. You’re my brother and I’d...” kill for him, to be honest. “Definitely hex a few people,” she also wouldn’t get caught, being a little Bambi-eyed girl.

So her third year rolls into her fourth, into her fifth, into her sixth. And her brother can’t keep them from beating the Slytherin out of her - they still manage to cow her down, to make her small, but when she’s not around her house she exists, she’s allowed to take up space. And while she vastly prefers Evanna and Lucile to her brother and his friends, she still gets drawn in (especially when Evanna starts dating her brother; lord God save her she stops talking to Evanna for a week). And then this is when Lucile and Remus start to date, and the result of Sirius dating Cassandra is both an irate brother and a jealous brother (Sirius is unaware of the latter, but Cassandra’s brother makes his displeasure known in the halls - loudly. “I don’t need my sister tangling with a BLACK, Sirius!” “Excuse me I’ve been adopted by the Potters!” “Oh good luck getting the to fly. She’s my SISTER!” “So? She’s sixteen! She’ll be seventeen in May!” “I don’t care how old she is! She’s my little sister! You can’t date her!”)

Her brother has wanted to be an Auror since fourth year, so that’s where he goes after Hogwarts - by the skin of his teeth as a muggle-born. And Cassandra keeps her relationship with Regulus totally under the radar. Right up until, you know, he breaks up with her because he killed someone. And then the cat is out of the bag and her brother actually goes to punch Sirius in the face because ‘why didn’t you tell me I could have stopped this’ and the poor Baby Sister is dragging her Very Annoyed Big Brother back into the house. “There will be NO punching of ANY Blacks I can take care of myself,” which has been a recurring theme throughout her life. “I can take care of myself.”

So she does. She can. Right up until Easter when her whole world falls apart. “I can take care of myself” because she can, Cassandra can take care of herself, she has to be able to take care of herself. Two years later her brother is killed by Death Eaters. Talk about a girl carrying a torch.

So when the Quidditch World Cup of 1994 rolls around and they’re being humiliated by Death Eaters, the little healer’s torch lights up and she is out for blood. Because she went to have a good time with Lucile, since Evanna was stuck at the Ministry with work but Lucile wasn’t, and since Richard Puffett was playing and she kind of liked to see her almost-not-quite boyfriend playing.

You bet your arse she joins the Order the following summer.

And the Battle of Hogwarts she is hella excited when she spots Avery. “Oi! Avery! Come at me, bro! Not so hot without your friends, are ya?” But she is, and she feels no remorse when a suit of armor falls on top of him. Which almost scares her, except she was a Slytherin. They have morals all in shades of gray. And she can take care of herself.