#Burping Contest

[belliesandburps]

Demonic Burp-Off (Sadao & Urushihara burping fic)

Well, it's been a good hot minute since I posted up any kink fics on tumblr. And since I just finished this reward fic on patreon, I thought I'd post it up here, because who doesn't love some gassy demonic part-timers? ;)

“BWRRROOOooooouuuurrrrp!!!!!!”

A monstrous belch bellowed loudly and forcefully from within the Demon Lord's one-bedroom “”Castle.”” When it ended, Sadao sighed boorishly and slumped back on the ground, shamelessly patting his very bloated belly in relief.

“Whew! Ohhh man, I'm stuffed...” Sadao moaned, running his hand up and down his glutted gut. The young demon lord was in his usual home-attire; a t-shirt and his boxers, but due to just how much he'd packed away, his shirt was riding up almost just below his chest, completely showing off the near-entirety of his soft, bulging belly.

“Sire, if I may? You've been eating quite a bit lately,” Ashiya mused like a nervous spouse, eyeing his companion and masters overstuffed middle.

“Dude, the fridge is full t'bursting, SOMEONE has to clear it out,” Sadao insisted whilst massaging his hefty, burbling midsection contently.

“Tch, it's not the only one full to bursting though,” Urushihara muttered in his usual bored brand of snark as he browsed the computer and took a sip of soda.

As if to punctuate that point, a thick gurgle bellowed deep from Sadao's belly, making him wince for a moment before another large, rumbling burp erupted heavily from past his lips. “Oof, no argument there...” Sadao grunted as he palmed the side of his belly, causing it to jiggle quite visibly with the impact.

Something Ashiya most definitely noticed, along with Sadao's new curves...

“Sire, it might behoove you to at least pace yourself so you don't eat everything all at once, wouldn't you say? What if your current...erm...'expansion' were to compromise your position at work?”

Sadao just rolled his eyes, making Ashiya frown and turn to Urushihara, who was downing even more soda.

“Urushihara, would you make yourself useful and help me out here, please?”

“Ugh...suck...” the young, purple-haired demon remarked as he rubbed his stomach from under his shirt, ignoring Ashiya's ask. “Too much soda...” he mumbled before he lurched with a long, throaty belch of his own. It completely silenced Ashiya and left the youngest demon smacking his lips contently.

“Whoa, not bad, dude!” Sadao mused in amusement, making Ashiya scowl.

“Sire, PLEASE don't encourage Urushihara's bad behavior,” Ashiya insisted, adding, “his table manners are appalling as is.”

“Tch, what the crap??” Urushihara whined back defensively. “If you're gonna nag at somebody, nag at HIM, you kiss-ass. He's the one who's been burping his fat ass off all day.”

“Whadduya expect? I ate a ton!” Sadao said in a slightly less defensive tone than the younger demon, who opened his mouth to say something before Sadao added, “And if you say I WEIGH a ton too, I'll slam your head through that computer screen, you punk.”

Urushihara paused, then closed his mouth and turned back to his computer. “Whatever...” he said before downing more soda. Like clockwork, another big, brassy burp blasted out of Urushihara's mouth; rather impressive, given how petite and skinny he was. He shamelessly smacked his lips and sighed briskly, earning a snicker from Sadao and a groan of annoyance from Ashiya.

Sadao, meanwhile, huffed as he leaned back and tugged his boxers down ever so slightly, showing off a bit of his hips and more of his bulging underbelly, letting it breathe more. “Oof...man, I really did overdo it today, huh...” Sadao mumbled as he slowly ran his hands up and down his swollen stomach.

Ashiya watched his young lord massage his ample beachball of a belly and frowned with concern. “You're not feeling ill, are you, sire?”

Sadao shook his head and said, “Nah, just-” before he could finish, his cheeks puffed out, and a moment later, he threw his head with another huge burp. It blasted out of him so hard that it made his belly physically jostle from the force of the pressure erupting out of him. He grunted and palmed his chest, knocking loose a thick afterburp. “...Oof...maybe a lil gassy though...”

“I imagine that's to be expected with an excessive influx of grease and additives burbling within your digestive sys-”

-Aaaand of course, poor Ashiya couldn't even finish his boring thought, an even bigger burp bellowed from Urushihara, who moaned in a deeply satisfied manner afterward.

“Ohhhh man, that felt good...” he moaned out, rubbing his flat belly as he did.

“It might feel even better to not to constantly CHUG the sodas down like they're going to magically disappear if you don't drink them down all at once,” Ashiya groused in annoyance with Urushihara's outburst, who literally couldn't care less if his demonic life depended on it.

But Sadao, on the other hand, had a different idea, judging from the rather impish grin spreading over his lips.

“Heh, not bad, dude. But let's see ya top THIS,” Sadao insisted as he grabbed the weighty mass in his middle and jiggled it up and down. Ashiya could practically hear all that digesting junk food in Sadao's belly sloshing around heartily.

Though, it was hard to hear much at all after that since all that jostling eventually rustled loose a gas bubble that rushed violently up Sadao's throat. The burp that Sadao let echo throughout his tiny apartment was positively gigantic.

Sadao huffed, then gripped his bulging belly tightly with one hand and leaned forward with another deep, raunchy belch, followed by a much smaller one; that monstrous pocket gave way to residual pockets of gas rolling out of Sadao one after the other. When it finally ended, Sadao sighed heavily, tongue hanging out of his maw like a panting dog as he said, “WHEW! Heh, that one was brewin' for a good while, man, damn...” He gave his belly a couple of hearty pats of satisfaction, causing the soft, round organ to jiggle with each pat he gave it.

Ashiya rang his ear out and frowned. “Your majesty, honestly-”

“-Tch, I could beat that in my sleep,” Urushihara insisted, much to Ashiya's dismay; any hope of these two acting less boorish quickly being dashed away.

The purple-haired boy grabbed another can of soda, popped the top, and immediately started guzzling it down. His slender throat throbbed in and out as he gave one rather audible gulp after another. Urushihara was chugging so intensely that he clenched his eyes shut while his tiny nostrils flared up.

As he chugged, he rubbed his flat stomach up and down; a sliver of his pale flesh peaking from the bottom of his t-shirt. His flat middle was bowing out just ever so slightly, likely from downing two sodas so fast. Amazingly, Urushihara managed to chug the whole thing in one go, though given the fact that the young demon could literally swallow people whole, it wasn't exactly surprising that he'd have a strong gag reflex.

Urushihara crushed the can in his hand as he swallowed the last of the soda in his mouth with one especially hearty gulp, causing a sizable lump to travel down his throat and vanish behind his pronounced collarbone. The demon boy huffed heavily, then grabbed his belly firmly with one hand and threw his head back as an utterly deafening belch exploded past his rippling lips. All that air and carbonation came blasting forth with such power that Urushihara could practically feel the reverberation ratting his bones. Both Sadao and Ashiya could feel the ground itself vibrate a little with that one.

It was only a few seconds long, but the sheer volume was unmatched by anything either demon had let loose up to that point.

Sadao's jaw gaped as that insanely brassy eructation finally rumbled to a finish. “...Okay, that was actually pretty damn good...”

Urushihara groaned in an exerted manner as he rubbed his throat and mumbled, “Ugh, that one hurt...” before putting a hand to his chest and letting loose a long, throaty afterburp. Catching his breath, he smirked back at Sadao and said, “And that's why I'm the champ. Don't quit your day job, dude,” before turning his back on the two elder demons and going back to his computer. “...No, but seriously, don't quit 'cuz no one else makes money...”

At that, Ashiya's gaze hardened.

“The sheer disrespect...!”

Sadao shrugged dismissively and said, “Nah, there's no way in hell I could ever top tha-AAAUH?!?” But Sadao's dismissal became a cry of confusion when Ashiya was suddenly perched right before him and grabbing his bare, bulging belly. “D-Dude! What the hell're you-”

“-Crude and repulsive or not, for ANY lesser demon to act superior to the demon lord in ANY capacity is utterly unacceptable!” Ashiya declared before holding the sides of Sadao's big belly with both hands and heaving it up and down. The glutted lightly tanned ball of flesh jiggled and sloshed heavily as all that digesting slurry within the organ swished around within. The action was so confusing that even Urushihara had to turn and look at the commotion.

Sadao winced rather uncomfortably from all the jostling. “D-Dude, cut it out! You're making me nauseeEOOOOUUUrrrph!!!!” His protests were cut short by a wet burp that cut him off mid-sentence and left him covering his mouth.

“Yeaaaah, you realize you're gonna make him puke if you keep doing that, right? And I am NOT cleaning that up...”

“The Demon Lord's strength of will won't allow him to be so easily bested, you little wretch!” Ashiya declared before turning to an increasingly nauseous Sadao. “Sire, whatever you do, hold it in! Do not eruct until the time is right,” Ashiya insisted as he continued forcefully shaking Sadao's belly.

The young raven-haired devil lurched, going a bit green in the proverbial gils as his bouncing gut began gurgling and burbling rather intensely. His abused stomach churned so violently that it sounded like a witch's cauldron over a roaring flame. Sadao wanted to burp so badly, but he was worried that if he did at this point, a lot more than gas would come rushing up...

Of course, with Ashiya jiggling his belly so relentlessly, a lot more might just come back up anyway...

Eventually, however, there was a thick, telltale gurgle, indicating that the time was nigh...

*GWWWWUUUUUUOOOOOOOORRRGLE!!!!!*

Sadao's round belly bubbled so aggressively that it jostled in Ashiya's grasp. The eldest demon grinned said, “This is it, sire! Get ready!”

Poor Sadao almost whimpered, knowing what was coming next.

And before he could properly brace himself, Ashiya SHOVED his hands right against the dead center of Sadao's hefty belly. His palms sank into Sadao's soft, weighty flesh.

Sadao's eyes bugged out of his skull as he felt an intense volume of pressure quickly rushing up from his chest and quickly rushing up his throat.

His cheeks puffed out like balloons, and before he even had a chance to stop it, the gates of hell were wide open...

And out exploded a beastly eructation unlike any other...

“BWWRRRRRUUUUUUOOOOHHH-HHOOOORRRRRRRROOOOOOORRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUPH!!!!!!!!!”

The entire apartment rumbled aggressively as Sadao released a tremor-inducing BELCH of record-shattering magnitude. That wasn't hyperbole either; debris and dust actually crumbled from the ceiling and corners of the apartment as Sadao burped harder and louder than he'd ever burped in his centuries-long (young for a demon) life. Ashiya pushed his palms deeper into Sadao's belly, prolonging that tonsil-destroying eruption for a staggering ten, uninterrupted seconds straight, only getting louder the longer all that gas blasted out from his rippling lips, along with several strands of saliva.

When it finally...mercifully rumbled to a sharp close, Sadao was utterly dazed and winded. Going cross-eyed, the bloated boy just toppled onto his back. His fat belly wobbling heavily over him as he laid there like an immensely bloated ragdoll.

Both Ashiya and Urushihara stared at their downed demon lord in silence for a few moments, before a wide grin spread over Ashiya's face.

“AHA! Excellent work, my liege! You completely trounced that little brat and reminded him why you're the strongest demon in all the land! Well played! Disgusting...but well played!” Ashiya exclaimed, eagerly patting Sadao's jiggly belly in congratulations.

“You're not wrong about the 'disgusting' part,” Urushihara muttered, crinkling his little nose as he fanned the air around him. “...Also, I'm pretty sure you just killed him.”

Ashiya scoffed before glancing back at Sadao, who, again, was just laying there in a motionless, lifeless daze.

Experimentally, Ashiya pushed on Sadao's belly...

“UUUUrrrOOOOOrrrP!”

As the push forced out one last heavy burp from Sadao, Ashiya grinned.

“See? He's fine!”

Finally, Sadao managed to speak up.

“...N-Next time the fridge is fuuUuorp...guh...f-full...I'm okay with us just tossing it out instead...”

[loudburp]

Ruttosound 2024

[halfblood-princes-crown]

Imagine having a rich boyfriend like James Potter. Lily is lucky 🥰

I mean if that’s your type, who am I to say otherwise.

I wouldn’t want a boyfriend that threatened me and blackmailed me into dating him just so he could leave my friend alone…maybe that’s just me tho

[naughtynoodle056]

Leo hosts a pie eating contest with a few of his dear friends, shenanigans ensue

[qwerty-between-the-lines]

Annabeth: Why do guys have to be so immature and make a contest out of everything?

Hazel: I know, right?

Frank: BUURRRPPPP!

Percy: BUURRR-RRRPPPP!

Jason: PPRRRMMM!

Leo: P-P-PPRRRMMMM!

[youranimeangel]

Practicing my burp alphabet 🔥😋🧡

[x-tracuddlycactus]

can you do 🧸💌kaeya? please

I'm not the biggest fan of K.aeya, but I'll try my best!

🧸💌

It isn't an uncommon sight to see K.aeya visiting a tavern or two. His love for a good time and wine are what drive him to these spots. What is unusual is seeing him with multiple dishes of food at these places.

I like to think K.aeya has a small appetite, so he doesn't need much to get him full. Yet sometimes, if he's feeling a bit too laid back, he won't notice how often his fork has scrapped his plate clean or the newfound tightness of his belt and corset. It isn't until he feels a sudden rumble travel up his chest and spew out as a shallow burp that he'll realize how much he had truly consumed.

I have a feeling that he has those powerful belches that can most definitely be heard from behind closed doors, which is why he tries his best to hold them back in public. The thing is, he doesn't have good control... when he's tipsy, that is. If he holds them back, all he can focus on is the intense bloating of his belly, and once that focus is lost, out comes the monster that was brewing, loud and deep.

However, if he's sober, this man can perform parlor tricks. He can definitely burp on command if he feels like it, especially if it pisses off his brother. I can totally see him swallowing up some air and belching out his order for a drink if D.iluc is the bartender that day, smirking cockily and maybe blowing the gas towards his face, much to the redhead's disgust.

[kaerinio]

dany's handmaids and bloodriders are so much more than individuals who are in dany's service ; they are her first true friends. growing up, she never had the opportunity to stay anywhere long enough to establish long-lasting friendships, and going even further than that, viserys was obsessive when it came to keeping dany close and keeping her only in 'worthy company'. she couldn't make friends with most children she came across because oftentimes they were not of noble birth . . . and the children who were of noble birth or high societal standing had parents who only allowed dany and viserys to stay with them ( a short time ) for the novelty of their status as the last targaryens. jhiqui, irri, doreah, aggo, rakharo, quaro, jhogo, and later, missandei, are deeply cherished by dany. they mean the absolute world to her and are her favored companions.

[kpkpkiran]

Winner of the Fart Burp Sneeze Puke Pee Poop at the Same Time Contest

True story. In the quaint town of Whimsyville, Whimsylvania a peculiar contest called the "Fart Burp Sneeze Puke Pee Poop at the Same Time Contest" took place. The whole town buzzed with excitement as the five contestants from different corners of the United States arrived, each armed with their unique bodily talents. In a twist of fate, it was revealed when the contestants discovered that they were all childhood friends who had lost touch over the years. Sally, Bobby, Emily, Max, and Olivia couldn't believe their eyes as they greeted each other with both surprise and laughter.

[ddejavvu]

one thing that has been all over my fyp is this girl basically babying her bf when hes sick. but ! im imagining reader doing this to bestfriend!james and sirius and remus watching like ???!!!

In your opinion, it's perfectly acceptable to spoon-feed James soup while he's sick. After all, his limbs are achy from being bent at awkward angles throughout the night due to his restless tossing and turning, so repeatedly bringing spoon after spoon to his mouth would only wear his joints out more.

It is, perhaps, only a little silly because you are using an actual baby spoon. It's green silicon with white plastic around the handle that grows warm beneath your steady touch. requested specifically by James who always has an aversion to the feeling of his teeth scraping against metal cutlery, but especially can't handle it when everything else in his body feels wrong.

He lets the hinge of his jaw open weakly as you press another spoonful of soup to his lips, humming warmly as the broth slides down his dry throat and rehydrates it. Remus's eyes flicker over at the sound, but dutifully return to his book.

Sirius is the shit-stirrer, as always.

"Remus," He whines, tucked into his own blankets, though not for sickness as much as for laziness, "I'm feeling ill. Would you heat me up a ba-ba?"

"Yes dear," Remus hums, attention still firmly on his book, "Would you like me to burp you afterwards as well?"

Sirius lets out a belch from beneath the blankets, then snickers at it, "Nah, I've got that one down m'self."

"Vile," James's face crumples into a grimace, and you very kindly don't bring up the countless burping contests the two have had with each other over their years of friendship, "Sirius, I'm already nauseous enough as it is, you don't need to make things worse."

"Oh," Sirius gushes, "Baby's tummy hurts."

"Leave him alone, Sirius-" You marvel at Remus's intrusion, a sudden flare of gratefulness warming your chest, until, "-It's not fair to antagonize infants."

"You are awful friends," You decide, eyeing the pair disapprovingly as you pat away sweat that's accumulated on James's forehead from the strain of simply breathing, "The poor man is sick, and he has no appetite, he's not been able to breathe through his nose for days, he's got a constant headache-"

"-he needs a diaper change, he's missed his naptime, and Mummy won't take him to the playground," Sirius croons in faux-sympathy, "James, my heart goes out to you, mate."

"You'll see," James croaks, only rejecting the spoonful of soup that you hold to his mouth in favor of ribbing Sirius, "I'll cough on your toothbrush Pads, then we'll see who's being dramatic."

[gassydumbjocks]

Virilite 1:

Boys will be boys

Ever since I spiked my nephew Liam's beer with a strange pill I found online when he and my brother came to watch a football match, that boy has been acting like a man, as he should.

You see, my brother Noah had a son who, don't get me wrong, I love this boy with all my soul, but god damn he had to grow up and start acting like what he was, a dude, always wearing those girly crop tops and tight-fitting jeans with bright colors because "that's who he was", I admit that I was clearly upset when he revealed to the family that he was gay, but even so I couldn't do anything and neither could Noah, so we decided to accept him as he was, until I found a way to... make him act as he should.

While looking at online articles I found this article online that was supposed to be some pills that could have an effect on the behavior and actions of the person that took them, yes, I know, very science fiction-like, still, what caught my attention was the name and objective of the pill, "Virilite" was its name, and it promised to also have an effect on the levels of testosterone produced in men, which ended up convincing me to buy it.

The instructions were simple, put them in the drink or food that said man was going to consume, once ingested the guy would enter an immediate state of trance, able to only follow the orders that another person suggested in his mind, there were even images of test subjects boys who I assume took the pill, they all had a relaxed yet funny expression, eyes crossed and some even with tongues sticking out like dogs, I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Liam looking like that.

Just as i was now, immediatly after i got Liam to drink it after offering him a beer, he letted out an involuntary loud and guttural deep belch, which from what i knew and readed online was a sign that the pill already took effect, i had Liam in front of me with a dumb smile and an eye-crossed, glazed over look, like that huge burp just took away all his thoughts and personality.

After the first 5 minutes of calling his name and getting no response, i actually started to worry, he couldn't stay as a brainless zombie-like dumbass all his life, and Noah would find out and kill me for it, i tried to remember, i took the pill's container and readed again the instructions.

"Ohh, so i have to, uh, kinda program him?" i said and then i thought of things i could make him do, i certainly bought those pills to make the kid more like a man... So, hell, what a man i would mold out of him.

I heard him let out a dumb chuckle still with that goofy smile from before, i smirked and approached "Liam, buddy, you hear me champ, you hear uncle Dave?" i asked to make sure he could indeed hear me, he slowly nodded and let out some hiccups "great, cuz we got a lot of work to do on you, and im sure you'll love it" i say.

I think of the first command to give him, they suggest to use short and simple commands, there are plenty of manly things he needs to learn, but i think i can cover up basic stuff, i remember Noah and me asking him to join us in our protein farting contests when we relaxed in our man cave watching our team, while Liam just grimaced and waved his hand, saying it was immature and gross, i would make him change his opinion, so it was obvious what would be the command "Liam...fart, loudly and proudly, c'mon" i literally order him to fart, i just wanted to test the effectiveness of the command obeying.

Without hesitation, he lifts his right leg as high as he can, leaving his butt in the air, before a barrage of gas goes out his butt.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

Its so strong, big and beefy, even for me, i have to wave the smell and open a window nearby "good lord boy! Where in the hell did you got all that gas from!?" i ask impressed, and try to recover before continuing "ok ok lets keep up!, umm, belch, a nice deep man belch" i say, waiting for it.

I didn't even have to wait when he was already patting his chest and squinting an eye to help the gas release.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRPPP!!!

And holy fuck, if Liam was concious, he'd know that beast burp would have easily beat his old man and me in our oftens belch offs, the pill was clearly making a miracle on him.

I was admitidly having fun on my nephew making all the stuff he found "gross" and "immature" under a pill's control, i gave him another command, just to get a good laugh "Liam, do some armpit farts, but in the last one, you'll ask me to pull your finger, you'll let out a monster fart, got it?" i asked and he nodded again, he then started with the manly symphony, he took a hand down one of his pits and started to produce the nasty sounds.

PPPPPRRRRTTT

PPPPPPRRRRRRTTT

PPPPPPRRRRRTT

PPPPPPPRRRRRTT

I saw him stop and put hand on his gut, then he talked goofily "uncle, pull my finger" he asked dumbly before laughing and extend his hand at me, i gladly accepted "oh of course kiddo, let me help you with that" i smirked and pulled it hard, unleashing the beast gas he had stuck in his rump.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

An ABSOLUTELY disgusting deep-ass and loud, nasty fart erupted from him, Liam never losing the crossed look on his face, as he hiked exaggerately his leg to force the fart out, i was shocked, but in the end, finally proud of him, i couldn't wait for Noah to see what he could do! We would think on more funny stuff to do at our just guys nights! After all, boys will be boys, right?

[rosered-schneeweisschens-sis]

@writing-prompt-s

as a girl who went to a catholic school, I would love this.

My parents sent me away to a very strict all-girls catholic school and a virus spread through the school that turned all the girls into massive werewolves and they started mauling all the teachers.

[satyrtransforms]

Stank Prank

BRAAAAAP

“Whoooooo! That was a BIG ONE!”

I cringed and plugged my nose as I leaned over my paper. Brayden was at it again. He had brought his nasty friends over and was having a farting contest with them. I didn’t understand why he had to be my roommate. Why couldn't he be staying at one of the nasty frat houses or with his other jock friends? Why did I have to be the one who was forced to listen (and smell) an orchestra of farts and burps while I studied. I tried talking to the housing department about it, begging for a different roommate. I would have taken literally anybody else, but they said that there was nothing they could do. I was stuck with him. 

Ever since the day I first moved into the dorm, I had been subjected to the tortures of Brayden’s flatulence. Over time I had gotten mostly accustomed to the smell (a bucket full of air fresheners helped to keep my room mostly stench free), the sound is something I could never get used to.

BUUURRRPP

“Man that was NASTY!”

Even with my door closed, earbuds in, and focusing on studying, I couldn’t escape it. Enough was enough, I slammed open the door and stared angrily at the trio of jocks sitting on the couch and laughing their asses off.

“Look who finally came out to join us!” Brayden stood up, his massive 6’4 figure towering over me. “The nerd emerges from his cave.”

“Would it really kill you to put on some deodorant? Or maybe a visit to the doctor would be more beneficial, all of that farting and burping can’t possibly be normal.”

“You’re disgusting.” I said bitterly, “But then again I’m not surprised, I wouldn’t expect anyone other than a group of dumb, hairy animals to smell the part.” Brayden’s two friends snickered and made overexaggerated gasping sounds. I allowed myself a bit of a smirk, maybe this’ll put that jock into his place. 

Brayden seemed unfazed by my insults. “You know, I really wish you were more like us, man. You’d be really fun to have around. Plus, you look like you could pull off some NASTY shit.” “I’d rather do anything then regress to your level.” I huffed and slammed my door shut, muffling the sounds of their laughter. 

The next evening I came back to the dorm to find the place abandoned, no sign of Brayden or his dumb friends. I sighed, finally I would be able to be alone and get some studying done in peace and quiet. I closed my bedroom door and set down my stuff. Better get started before-

BRAAAAAP

I jumped out of my seat, was that me, or was that Brayden announcing his entrance? Further inspection revealed that there was nobody at the front door, which had to mean… Before I could even begin to imagine how Brayden would have reacted if he could have heard that, I spotted something red on the chair. I walked over and picked it up, a whoopie cushion.

“Verrrrry funny, Brayden.” I said aloud. “But if you think that-” I was interrupted as a pungent smell assaulted my nostrils. The whoopie cushion, there’s no way it could have created a smell right? I squeezed it again.

BRAAAAAP

Yup, it was definitely the whoopie cushion. But how was that even possible? And how did it smell that bad? I put the whoopie cushion down on the floor. There was probably some kind of fake fart spray coating the thing. Now, back to work, I really didn’t want to waste any more quiet time before-

BUUURRRPP

“Little bro I’m back!”

Fuck.

I started walking towards the door, exams were coming up and I really needed to study so I was prepared to BEG for some silence. As I made my way across the room, I tripped over the whoopie cushion

BRAAAAAP“Whoa little bro, that was a nasty one!”

The smell tripled in intensity, as I tried to get back up to open a window, my legs gave out and I fell back down onto the cushion.

BRAAAAAP

My eyes began to water. Every inhale of the pungent stink was making me feel lightheaded. After some struggling, I managed to stand up, I felt woozy, like I had inhaled laughing gas. It was getting harder to think, so hard, why think at all? I blinked. What was I SAYING? I tried to hold my breath as I opened the door, but found myself breathing heavily as the fumes coursed through my body. I flung open the door and stumbled into- my bathroom? Wasn’t I trying to leave my room? I’m so stupid I must have gone to the wrong door by mistake, heh. What the fuck was happening? As I tried to collect my thoughts, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked… good. My arms and chest appeared bigger and more toned and I felt taller. It must the the smell making me see things there’s no way-

BRAAAAAP

…

That one came from me. 

BRAAAAAP

That one too. 

With each fart, I found myself getting taller, more muscular and toned. My pale computer nerd body melted away into a sporty physique. 

“Come on little bro don’t you understand? You’re no fun, so I have to make you fun. I can’t believe that whoopie cushion actually worked! But the rest is up to me now. Did you know you REEK?”

I sniffed my armpits, they smelled awful. I began searching through the cupboards for some deodorant.

“Not that you care anyways.”

BRAAAAAP

That's right, I didn’t care. I loved my smell, I lived in it. Why would I want to get rid of it?

“You love being a stinky, smelly jock”

BRAAAAAP

“A dumb, stinky, smelly jock”

BRAAAAAP

“A stupid, dumb, stinky, smelly jock.” BRAAAAAP

With each inhale I found myself agreeing with Brayden. With each fart I found my old self laving. 

BRAAAAAP

BRAAAAAP

BRAAAAAP I was always a dumb, smelly jock.

I loved being a dumb smelly jock.

I began to take off my clothes.

Being dumb is so nice, no worries, no cares.

It feels so good to reek and smell like a man.

Each time Brayden repeated it, I found myself sinking deeper. My mind completely clouded over.

So dumb, so smelly.

I walked over to the couch and lay back on it, lifting my pits to let my smell permeate the room. 

“Isn’t that so much better?” Brayden asked, “It feels so good to be stupid and smelly, just like us.”

BRAAAAAP

[im-robins-bitch]

16+ (gn) Dating Eddie Munson is:

Sharing a big bag of chips and Eddie catching your wrist and sucking on your fingers to get off all the crumbs that are stuck to them.

Eddie sneaking up behind you, pushing his icy fingers up your jumper and laughing hysterically when you cringe and shove him away. 

Baking together and both of you shoving your fingers into the mix to taste it when the other isn’t looking. Taking turns to lick the spoon clean. 

Smacking Eddie’s ass every time he bends over. 

Trying to throw food into each other's mouths and then fishing crumbs out of each other's hair. 

Eddie saying ‘Good yawn’ or ‘Good burp’ 

Alternatively, every time you yawn for a long time he’ll stick his fingers in your mouth. 

If he’s too tired to make it to the couch after work, he’ll collapse on his knees in between your legs and face plant into your lap. 

He doesn’t have an ulterior motive, apart from when he does, he just likes to be close to you. He claims you recharge him. 

Fake wrestling

He likes to bend at the waist when he runs towards you like he’s about to tackle you, but instead, he lifts you off the ground and spins you around. 

He’s an embarrassment at the airport if you ever need to go somewhere. Going and Coming back. 

Going he’s a blubbering mess. 

Returning he’s a blubbering mess, plus he’s delivering a monologue like you’re returning from war. You have received a ‘thank you for your service’ before because of his dramatics. 

The first time you fly together, he won’t admit it, but he’s terrified.

Will always pretend you need to hold his hand, rather than him needing to ask for it. 

Wearing an old comfy pair of underwear with a small hole or tear? Eddie finds that hole and digs his finger in to make it bigger and bigger. Likes that it gives him easier access. Will pull you towards him by the hole.

Like’s to have his hand down your pants just for comfort. He won’t even do anything just rest/cup his palm against you. 

If your is hand in or up his boxers? He’s dead. In heaven.

Goes feral when you rake your nails down his thighs or his happy trail. 

Hair-washing nights morph into self-care days, helping with his curls and painting his nails. 

Insists he does your eyeliner if you’re putting any on. Will straddle your thigh like a heathen and pretend he’s not borderline humping it while holding a pencil dangerously close to your eyeball. 

He believes in love boners. 

Wants a cat, but you’re worried about the responsibility so you get fish to get into the habit of feeding something daily. 

You both have names for the racoons that live in the trailer park and will gossip about what you saw them getting up to that day

Air guitar contests

Eddie writing you love letters in detention

Walking Eddie to the bathroom at parties when he gets too drunk. Holding one of his hands, the other wrapped around his waist. 

Sometimes he has literally asked you to hold his dick while he pees because he’s either too drunk to do it himself or thinks it’s funny. 

He’s a little fucking gremlin,

Your little fucking gremlin,

You love it.

masterlist

[lolottes]

Wes quickly guesses the situation and starts rambling again being totally ignored by the rest of the town.

The phamtom gang quickly understood the situation and instead of doing anything to resolve things, they informed the ghosts. An exceptional truce is proposed. Even Skulker subscribes to it. EVERY ghost likes to see watchers (and Plasmus) lose their shit to these humans who are way too used to ghosting (thanks to them) to take them seriously. Lunch lady distributes popcorn.

The observers get punched repeatedly by the Fenton parents for not taking them seriously.

Everyone has fun with them (and Plasmus again)

I'm a huge fan of Danny getting stuck as the ghost king, and I'm hesitant to give him a break... but wouldn't it be funny if it wasn't an especially complicated process to win the title?

Let's just pare it down to 'defeat the current king'.

It probably starts with Dash. An unfortunately regular encounter in the hallway ends with him getting a crown. (Thank goodness for magically floating crowns, otherwise his head would get too big to wear it). He probably doesn't quite know why he has it yet.

Cue Mr. Lancer attempting to encourage friendly academic competition. Dash looses the crown to the top student.

This goes on. And on. And on.

It starts out as something fun and everyone wants in. They gradually feel out the rules and get them roughly right. Right enough to be able to steal the crown and ride the high of having a literal floating crown follow them for a while.

Then the Observants arrive. As much as they hate Danny, at least he was partially dead.

It becomes a game of hot potato, with the citizens of Amity shoving off the title and crown as fast as they can. They only have a vague idea of the rules of the game they're playing, but they do not want to lose.

[henza-hex]

My Husband's Secret 3

Leo's POV (the husband)

We've been years together and only now I discovered Edward's fetish, it feels weird sometimes, but I'm getting used to.

The funny thing is that I've always been gassy, won all of the burping contests in school, cleared many rooms after mexican food, but I wasn't going all that gas ruin my marriage, I just didn't know that it would ignite it even more.

And there he was, sleeping as I had to get up for work... I want me some some quick breakfast without having any effort, so let's change that.

I always wake up with the gas that has been brewing all night, so I covered his head under the blanket and leaned to the side, just for him to wake up to the sight of my ass greeting him... and now... HNNGG...

Edward's POV

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPBPBPBPBPBBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTFTFTFTFTFTFTTFTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!

." I say, slaI'm woken up by a LOUD bang, followed by a nasty gust of wind on my face, as I open my eyes, I'm greet by two massive cheeks in front of me, as I'm surrounded by this stinky cloud of gas.

I pinched myself, am I dreaming?

*COUGH* *COUGH*

"Wakey, were you going to sleep all day?" I heard him asking above me.

I take the blanket off, and he is laughing, greeting me with a shit-eating grin. Of course, that was fucking hot, but I slapped him for good measure.

"Hahaha what? Didn't you like that?" He continues to laugh, not taking me seriously.

I lay my head on his chest and answer. "Of course, you silly, but you deserved that. Just... I waited so long for this, I think I don't know how to react seeing you being so comfortable with it, even cheeky." I say, slapping him again.

"Ouch, did I deserve that too?" He asks, meeting me with some puppy eyes.

"Yes." I get up. "And some breakfast too, get ready, I'll call when it's finished."

_____________________________________________________________

After the table is ready, I called him downstairs for breakfast. Of course he is wearing his suit and is looking extra hot in it. Those grey trousers should be forbidden, nothing should hug my man's curves better than me, but they do.

As we sat, I didn't talk much because I couldn't stop thinking about all of this situation, I finally got what I wanted, what now? Fortunately my thought were interrupted by belly pats and a loud belch.

BUUUUUURPPP

"Delicious, baby, I'm gonna wake you up all mornings for that."

That helped me to dissociate a little, and kissed his cheek. "With that way earlier, you can wake me up at morning even on weekends."

He pulled me close and made me sit on his lap. "So... let me put dutch-ovens on my daily routine."

"What about burp-kisses too?" I felt ridiculous asking for that, but he simply grabbed the back of my head to pull me into a kiss, opening his mouth intertwined with mine, as he...

OOOOOooooooOOOOUUUUURRRRRPPPPP...

"Haha, damn, that was deep." He joked as I gagged on the smell, things are escalating quickly. "But now I have to go, baby. Come here again, now for a real kiss." He kissed me on the lips, ready to go, but I held his hand.

"Baby, before you go. I have something to talk about."

"Yes?"

"You know I had these... preferences for a long time, right? And before you discovered about it, I had to come out of my way to fulfill my fantasies without you, but... now, you're my fantasy."

"To deep before 10 AM, love. What do you mean?"

I had to laugh, my made me to have courage to do it.

"Hm... I mean, I fantasized about you, you know those stories I used to read? You were always the main character in my head..."

Impressingly, no laughs this time. I couldn't read his thoughts this time. Too far?

"Interesting... but I have to go now." He kissed me deeply, and went to the door.

"Til later... baby... HNNGG..."

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTT

Of course he had to tease me a last time before work.

______________________________________________________________

Leo's POV

Marrying Edward is wild, everytime he comes up with something. Gassy and teasing coworker right now, how I'm gonna make that work?

"You're so quiet today, Leo. What's up?" asked Damian, he is pretty much my best bud here, one of those BIG bodybuilder guys, tattoos, hairy, can't find many suits that actually fit his size, although, always boisterous and energic, one of the best companies in this dead office. He recently married and I was his best man. He and Alex make a great couple.

"Nothing, just some worries at home. You?"

"Ahh, don't even get me started on home. We moved together, and I'm trying to convince Alex to experiment new things with me, you know? We gotta work so we don't fall into boredom like most of the couples."

Was not expecting such a straight-foward answer but I'm... happy that there are no secrets between us? Well...

"Yes... boredom... Edward is never boring, the opposite of that, pretty wild." I didn't know what to say, those wild kinks never fit into a lunch conversation.

"Hahaha he is just like me then! I'm the one pushing Alex for new things, contracts, BDSM... even one of my secret kinks." he leaned close to whisper. "Eproctophilia."

"W-what is that?" I think I was sweating, is everybody freaky nowadays?

"You know, burping and farting... always got a thing for that. Alex acts grossed out but I think deep down he enjoys it. I just wanted to share my gas, making him sniff my farts, burp down on his throat... a distant dream" Damian finished his line of thought and we might be able to help each other.

"Uhm... Edward got this thing too, but he likes my gas instead..."

Damian boasted in a big laugh. "YOU? AND YOU DO THAT FOR HIM? How could I imagine?? HAHAHAHAHA"

"Don't laugh, I'm serious... and now he wants to roleplay..."

"ROLEPLAY? Gosh, you got a freaky fella in your house, I wish Alex was like that."

"Well... I can give you some tips to discover if he's into that, and you help me with what I can do for Edward..."

"Deal."