do you have a favorite literary ref in bsd or is that a cruel question to ask
This is so hard! I like lots and lots of them, for different reasons. If I had to choose only one, and if I were to be sincere, Gin might be my favorite literary reference. I really love how much her namesake short story reframes Akutagawa's character, especially when comparing his Beast iteration against the version of him in bsd's main timeline. O-Gin also just really neatly and cleanly encapsulates what I love about Akutagawa's Kirishitan mono, including his affection for the Holy Fool trope.
To be more silly, I really love when Atsushi tell Tanzō Tonan that he has to feed his chameleon to escape the conversation with Tonan upon realizing Tonan wasn't being forthright (just ahead of the Decay of Angels framing the Agency). There are two references here that I adore (1) the reference to Chamelon Diary, in which Nakajima Atsushi semi-autobiographically recounts receiving a chameleon from a student and also his epiphany on how to live absent objective existential meaning; and (2) the reference to Tonan-sensei, a short story by Nakajima Atsushi about his beloved uncle, whom I also adore.
Rather than attempt to write an essay on Tonan-sensei and his influence on Nakajima Atsushi, I'll simply include a roughly translated version of the short story's Wikipedia synopsis:
The story depicts the protagonist, who secretly harbors self-loathing resentment towards his uncle because he shares similar mental characteristics with himself, but through his interactions with his uncle as he faces death, he gradually sorts out his critical view of the coexistence of love and hate and comes to realize the deep love he has for his uncle that lies dormant within him.
I will also include below a snippet about Tonan (referred to also as "Tan") from Nakajima Atsushi: His Life and Work, a dissertation submitted to the University of Hawaii by Nobuko Miyama Ochner in May 1984 (the date is relevant, because Ochner-sensei was able to speak to some of Atsushi's then-living family and friends to piece together his biography):
[Nakajima Atsushi's grandfather's] second eldest son, Tan, was also a scholar of Chinese. A bright boy, he was able to read the Chinese classics at the age of six and compose poetry and prose in Chinese at thirteen, according to the Japanese system of reckoning age. He was a proud, uncompromising, and impatient man, who never married, and who seemed to be always pursuing the impossible. In a short piece entitled "Tonan Sensei" (Tonan was Tan's pen name), Atsushi describes his uncle as having the virgin's beautifully clear, pure eyes— "the eyes of a man who is always dreaming an impossible dream." Tan, who revered General Nogi Maresuke (1849-1912), was an "amalgam of fervent patriotism and the temperament of a traditional Confucian scholar." He was greatly concerned about the future of Japan and China, as well as of Asia in general, confronted with the onslaught of the Western colonial powers.
...
In his articles he laments the ignorance of Chinese culture and tradition on the part of the Japanese diplomats in China, and criticizes their excessive reliance upon Western sources of news information. He felt that the peoples of Japan and China must unite in their efforts to repel the outsiders from East Asia; he went to China at least two times to try to enlist Chinese support for his vision. One of the prominent men he met was the scholar Lo Chen-yii (1866-1940), who later wrote an introduction to the posthumously published collection of Tan's poetry and prose, Tonan sonko. Atsushi is said to resemble this uncle most.
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been thinking abt the Gakuen AU for a little ...
(Sry if it's messy, i'm brain-dumping on mobile)
Tachihara goes to a different school because he doesn't want to wear the same uniform as his brother (as far as my understanding goes, I'm not sure if it's correct) so I have a silly little Headcanon for it:
Tachihara transferred out before Chuuya, and had dyed his hair and got piercings during the transfer. So.
They've also never really entered each others social sphere's, so Tachihara didn't have much of a reason to be friendly to Chuuya when he transferred, and Chuuya didn't have any reason to recognize Tachihara or remember his name.
Tachihara would've been on the disciplinary committee, which is part of why he would've recognized Chuuya, and Chuuya would only recognized Tachi if he didn't have whole delinquent look going on (mostly, if he still had black hair)
So comes the day where Tachihara mentions something abt their previous school, Chuuya's just like, hold up, wtf do you mean you went there, i've never seen you???? And Tachihara's like, yeah I used to go there wdym
And Chuuya's still confused, so Tachi says his hair is dyed so it was black back then (new information to everyone lol). Chuuya's still confused and shouts that literally 90% of students would've had black hair. So Tachi says he was on the disciplinary committee (another shocker), and now Chuuya thinks.
The disciplinary committee? There were four students on there, and he's very obviously not those three. He would've had to have been the kid that was hanging around that Ookura girl. The one that was clearly the most normal of the group, that actually did the work how you would expect it to be done, not... whatever the other three did.
And Chuuya, in his head, just comapres. The polite, stereotypical Japanese high school student, part of the disciplinary committee, making sure other students stay in line. Okay. And he just looks at this mf in front of him. Bandaid on nose, dyed hair, piercing, improper uniform and is just like, there's no fucking way.
They have an argument abt it.
That is most of what I have for that sadge. I am attempting to draw this, it's,,, going,,, slowly〜
The image of Chuuya just thinking, and then suddenly slamming the table and pointing at tachihara shouting 'THAT WAS YOU!?' has just been really funny to me recently.
Also the idea of their two schools having an event together or something, and Teruko just pops over out of the blue, climbs up Tachihara, and demands him to take her somewhere with Suegiku following behind, just absolutely baffling everyone when they leave. Tachihara makes no complaints abt it either, confusing them even more.
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The Lollipop Contract
Matcha Melon Sakura
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Warnings: Slight PTSD and trauma, slight S4 spoilers for Yosano's backstory; largely fluffy.
Image from Pixabay.
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To Ranpo Edogawa, the world is clear. He sees every detail. The lives of people are read in their gestures, scars, clothes, the scuff on their shoes that matches the hue of the Yokohama riverbank. It used to overwhelm him. Every word felt like constant pressure squeezing his brain in a vice. His body rippled in pain and panic, until he snapped or cried. And no one understood it. Well, before Fukuzawa told him about his ability. He doesn’t get everything, but he gave him his glasses and sealed it. Now, Ranpo’s pleased to be picky; unless it catches his interest, he doesn’t need to see it.
The world’s a blur. No, not a blur. A sharp point of focus on one thing at a time, until he chooses to release his ability and see everything. It makes him feel this warmth for the former assassin. He can’t name it. Ranpo just knows it feels nice. Safe. And that’s all that matters.
Nodding slightly, he pushes his cheek into the plush couch cushion he’s pinned beneath his folded arms. There’s some nameless candy rolling over his tongue. It’s bitter. He doesn’t usually like bitter, but the texture’s fascinating–a modeled, bumpy ball that was once a sculpted flower.Wearing it down reveals a sweet core. Worth the effort? Maybe. He only grabbed it because the packaging’s shiny, new, and interesting.
“--I’ll just be next door if you need me.” Fukuzawa’s hand ruffling through his hair brings him back to reality.
“I know that,” Ranpo huffs. But he still rolls his head out of Fukuzawa’s hand only after a few moments. Praise is better, but head pats are nice. It’s funny with Fukuzawa anyway. So awkward and unused to interacting with children. But time has rendered the fond action a little more natural. At least to a man more used to killing than–
“Ranpo,” Fukuzawa says, firmly. And, in response, Ranpo rolls over the length couch’s back while flailing his arms.
“Ugh, yes, I get it!” He whines, flailing until the motion grows boring. He flops his hands back. Grabs a throw pillow and chucks it. Predictably, Fukuzawa catches it. Easily. He should know, he’s thrown many objects at him to see what he can catch. 22-0, no hits yet.
At the pointed pressure of the old man’s gaze, he rolls back up to hang over the back of the couch. Arms dangling until they stretch out awkwardly. He’s too comfortable to be bothered by the slight pull on his muscles anyway. “She wants you to leave anyway,” Ranpo points to the girl quietly curled in the corner. Yosano finally drags her intense gaze away from Fukuzawa. It’s not aggressive. Mm, more.. Like she can see the blood stains on the old man’s hands and she’s wary it’ll end up on her. Joining the other stains that she thinks only she can see.
Ranpo can see it, though. She hides her hands too often, covers her arms, washes her hands until the skin pinks and her cuticles crack and bleed–
“Ran–”
“I want you to leave too. You’re freaking her out.” His gaze flicks away from Yosano. Fukuzawa’s lips pinch in that awkward way where he’s not sure how to respond. Like he’s not sure how to interact with Ranpo’s bluntness and not sure how to comfort someone with a trauma adjacent to his own. Ranpo pokes him between the eyes; he allows it, and just blinks at the finger. “But you’ll be ‘right next door’ if we need you for anything, ‘food’s in the fridge,’ blah, blah, just ask.”
“....” Fukuzawa deadpans in that parental, exasperated way where he’s debating tossing him in the ocean. 0-64, no ocean tossing yet. “I mean it,” says the old man who’s hesitantly held him while he’s sobbed about his parents’ deaths. He’s really so stupid to think he can’t nurture people instead of kill them. He’s good at saving people, even if he can’t see it. Well, no one can really see what Ranpo sees anyway. Patiently annoyed, he pats Fukuzawa’s head too.
“We’ll be fine,” he paps his palm over the silver locks. “I’d say stop worrying, but you’re not capable. Now shoo.” By the way Fukuzawa pinches his brow, he knows he’s hesitant. That he doesn’t really like leaving them, but knows better than to question Ranpo at this point. Good! Grinning, he crunches his candy between his teeth, reaches into the bag, and plops a sugary flower into the old man’s palm before all but shoving him out the door. Ranpo pops another into his mouth. Ugh.
Bitter.
“...Thank you,” Yosano’s voice makes him turn. It’s a quiet sound smothered by old wounds and anxiety. He walks over, sees her tense–then relax as he kneels in front of her.
“He’s not Mori, y’know,” Ranpo says, bluntly. He flops down to crunch the flower between his teeth, impatient for the hidden sweetness.
“I know–” Yosano starts, but he shoves a candy in her mouth. She takes a surprised moment to eat it. Likes it. Savors it.
“Nah,” Ranpo brandishes a shiny, gold and pink wrapper at her. “You keep looking at him and seeing the way he still walks like he’s in the military.You flinch when he speaks, like he’s gonna order you to use your ability.” He’s not entirely oblivious to the way she keeps tensing, like a coiled spring. “Even though I told you we don’t need it.”
“I can’t just believe that!” Yosano shrieks. The mere sound is like a thousand knives being plunged into his brain. He covers his ears. Yosano curls into a ball, wanting to hide from her seeming ‘sins.’ Her sobs break off into a whisper, “If one of you gets hurt, I’ll have to. I’ll have to!”
“Uh, first of all.” Ranpo pokes her forehead. “Not gonna happen.”
“No one’s invincible–”
“Yeah but we don’t have to be.” He rolls his eyes. It’s just so obvious. But, babies can’t see obvious things. “Not because you’re here, but because we’re human. Humans get hurt. Sucks, but– we don’t need you. We just want you.”
That… finally makes Yosano look at him. Really look at him. Good. Sometimes she gets so blind, and he has to yank her out of the dark and show her that there’s obviously still sunlight. “Fukuzawa wanted to save you from Mori. I did too. So we did–that’s it, that’s all.”
Slowly, she slumps down the wall to lay next to Ranpo. She’s stiff from being curled in the corner, but desperate for closeness. He crunches another flower before offering her one. She takes it. Silence spirals as he eats his candy like popcorn to witness her quiet breakdown. Meanwhile, she slowly savors each piece. He eats more; but she makes every piece last.
“You shouldn’t eat them like that,” Yosano eventually murmurs. “It’s bad for your teeth.”
“You should be a doctor,” is all Ranpo says in reply. It makes her jolt, scrambling up to stare at him. Her expression twists like she’s not sure if she wants to punch him or not. She doesn’t. “Think about it. You wanna save people, but not have to use your ability. Doctors do that. It’s an obvious solution.”
“...I don’t know if I can.” She flops back next to him, and stares at the wall. Whimpers, covers her ears–it’s like she hopes to drown out all the people begging her to stop saving them. Ranpo twists a shining wrapper between his fingers.
“You can,” he states. “But you don’t have to do it now.”
“But I feel useless—” Yosano’s voice breaks on the half-confession.
“Eating candy’s not useless!” He sits up to flail his arms in animated protest. “It’s sweet and makes me happy. Plus, I’m sharing with you. So don’t squander this ‘cause I won’t do it again.” Yosano stares… then laughs. A bright laugh that finally makes her look more like a living girl and not a walking corpse of war. It makes him smile as he crunches through another flower—
“Seriously, that’s so bad for your teeth, stop it—”
Sweet.
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