#Brussels Peak

[thorsenmark]

I may not have gone where I intended to go (Jasper National Park) by Mark Stevens Via Flickr: “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” - douglas adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul While at a roadside pullout along the Icefields Parkway at the Goats and Glacier Lookout in Jasper National Park. The view is looking to the south-southeast to the ridges and peaks of the Hooker Icefield with Mount Christie and Mount Brussels (Brussels Peak). My thought on composing this image was to angle my Nikon SLR, camera, slightly downward, creating a sweeping view across this mountain valley to the more distant ridges and peaks. I wanted to have them higher into the image and create more of a sense of grandeur with them. There would be a little bit of blue skies and clouds in the image, but most of that morning was overcast with just a little bit of blue skies coming out, so I felt I could minimize it and focus on the mountains to my front.

[hachama]

This is how Brussels sprouts are supposed to look.

[summer-fruits-and-cream]

Okra is amazing, poll results don't know what's up

[opencommunion]

"The Congo’s strategic location in the middle of Africa and its fabulous natural endowment of minerals and other resources have since 1884 ensured that it would serve as a theatre for the playing out of the economic and strategic interests of outsiders: the colonial powers during the scramble for Africa; the superpowers during the Cold War; and neighbouring African states in the post-Cold War era. To prevent a direct confrontation between the United States and the Soviet Union, the Security Council deployed from 1960 to 1964 what was then the largest and most ambitious operation ever undertaken by the UN, with nearly 20,000 troops at its peak strength plus a large contingent of civilian personnel for nation-building tasks.

This latter aspect of the Opération des Nations unies au Congo (ONUC) was a function of the fragile political revolution ... The Congo won its independence from Belgium on 30 June 1960. Patrice Lumumba’s MNC-L and its coalition of radical nationalist parties had captured a majority of seats in the lower house of parliament in the pre-independence elections in May. Lumumba became prime minister and head of government, while the Abako leader Joseph Kasa-Vubu became the ceremonial head of state. The victory of a militantly nationalist leader with a strong national constituency was viewed as a major impediment to the Belgian neocolonialist strategy and a threat to the global interests of the Western alliance.

Within two weeks of the proclamation of independence, Prime Minister Lumumba was faced with both a nationwide mutiny by the army and a secessionist movement in the province of Katanga bankrolled by Western mining interests. Both revolts were instigated by the Belgians, who also intervened militarily on 10 July, a day before the Katanga secession was announced. In the hopes of obtaining the evacuation of Belgian troops and white mercenaries, and thus ending the Katanga secession, Lumumba made a successful appeal to the UN Security Council to send a UN peacekeeping force to the Congo. However, the UN secretary-general, Dag Hammarskjöld, interpreted the UN mandate in accordance with Western neocolonialist interests and the US Cold War imperative of preventing Soviet expansion in the Third World. This led to a bitter dispute between Lumumba and Hammarskjöld, which resulted in the US- and Belgian-led initiative to assassinate the first and democratically elected prime minister of the Congo.

... Brussels’ failure to prevent a radical nationalist such as Lumumba from becoming prime minister created a crisis for the imperialist countries, which were determined to have a decolonization favourable to their economic and strategic interests with the help of more conservative African leaders. With Belgium’s failure to transfer power in an orderly fashion to a well-groomed moderate leadership group that could be expected to advance Western interests in Central and Southern Africa, the crisis of decolonization in the Congo required US and UN interventions. Working hand in hand, Washington, New York and Brussels succeeded in eliminating Lumumba and his radical followers from the political scene."

Georges Nzongola-Ntalaja, The Congo from Leopold to Kabila: A People's History, 2002

[justlookfrightened]

Whipped Cream and Other Delights

Sorry this has taken so long. I haven't been in much of a mood for fluff. But now I think I need some ...

CW: Lots of innuendo and bad jokes

Prompt from @hufflepunkwannabe: Ooo, can we see Jack and bitty just being silly together? 

The pies were done and the turkey was roasting. The dressing and sweet potatoes were in the second oven now that the pies were out; once they and the turkey came out, he could slide in the green bean casserole — Shitty insisted — and the roasted Brussels sprouts. Last of all would come the dinner rolls, still in their first rise. They could bake while Bitty made the gravy.

Bitty frowned and tapped his pen against his teeth while he studied his notebook. It should work. Everything should be ready to serve close enough to the same time — good thing the turkey had to rest for a while before being carved. He’d even have time to sneak in a shower. Probably.

“Bits?”

Jack came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Bitty’s waist. 

“You alright?” Jack asked. “You need help?”

“No, I’ve got it in here,” Bitty said. “How’s the tidying going?”

“Fine,” Jack said. 

And of course it was, because Jack always kept the place pretty neat. He’d heard Jack run the vacuum a few minutes before, probably unnecessarily because the cleaner did that two days ago. 

“And the table?” Bitty asked. “Is that set yet?”

“No,” Jack said. “But it’s just Shitty and Lardo, and a few of the guys who couldn’t get home.”

Bitty almost let a high-pitched giggle escape him. “A few of the guys” were four professional hockey players. Players on Jack’s team. Players who probably never even thought of playing with someone who wasn’t straight until Jack had come out. Bitty needed these guys to like him.

“You know Tater loves you,” Jack said.

Which was true. Tater, who might be the biggest human being Bitty had ever laid his own eyes on, had been delighted with Bitty from the first time they met. His approval went a long way with the other Russian players, one of whom – a rookie named Ivanov – was coming today. The others, Fitz and Poots, were from western Canada, which Bitty had come to learn had some things in common with being from the south in the U.S., or maybe the Midwest. Still, they’d always been perfectly friendly, and when Jack said Bitty would make Thanksgiving dinner for those who had no other place to go, they accepted.

It would be fine. Probably.

“I just feel like I’m forgetting something,” Bitty said. “Something important.”

“Kissing your boyfriend?” Jack asked, leaning down to kiss the side of Bitty’s neck.

Bitty squirmed and swatted at Jack’s arms.

“Stop it,” he giggled, a real giggle this time. “I need to be on the ball here.”

Jack honest-to-pete snorted, and Bitty giggled and blushed. “Not that kind of balls!”

Then he remembered.

“Whipped cream!” he yelped. “I have to make the whipped cream.”

Jack laughed and said, “I give up.”

Bitty put the heavy cream, sugar and vanilla in the bowl of the stand mixer and attached the whisk. 

“Then I can take a shower,” he said before turning it on. “You’re in charge of the bar, and you’ll do a cheese and cracker platter and a relish tray so there’re nibbles, right?”

“Right,” Jack said, taking a stack of plates from the cabinet. “I’ll start on the table.”

It was only a few minutes later that Bitty pulled the whisk out and watched the peaks form and then droop. He was using a spatula to transfer the whipped cream into a ceramic bowl when Jack came back into the kitchen.

“Done already?” Jack said.

“It doesn’t take long,” Bitty said, drawing a finger along the edge of the spatula to cover it in whipped cream and holding it out to Jack. “Here, taste.”

Jack took Bitty’s hand and pulled Bitty’s finger into his mouth, cleaning it — Bitty had to clear his throat as Jack did it — very thoroughly.

When Jack released his finger, he grinned and said, “It doesn’t take long? So … you could make it another time?”

Bitty pulled himself together enough to bat his eyes and smile flirtatiously.

“Any time you want, sweet pea,” he said. “I’m gonna take that shower now.”

He had no reason to tell Jack that he finished bathing so quickly because the shower was ice cold.

[dresshistorynerd]

I had the idea of writing about some historical queer figures I find interesting and drawing them for this pride month as a little project of mine. I will see how many I'll have time to do, I have in mind at least four other historical people, but knowing myself, I'm not holding my breath for all of them. Julie d'Aubigny she been one of my favorite historical figures for years so I decided to start with her.

Historical Queer Figures - Julie d'Aubigny

Julie d'Aubigny, also known as Mademoiselle Maupin and La Maupin, was a French opera singer and fencer in the late 1600s. She was infamous for having sapphic relationships, being aggressive and dramatic, having androgynous presentation by occasionally dressing in men's clothing in public and being a fencer and duelist. Trans and genderqueer readings of her are very possible, but because none of the accounts of her (at least those I've read) suggests she ever used any other than feminine first names or terms or she/her pronouns about herself, I will use she/her pronouns when talking about her.

The French court absolutely loved to gossip and people were constantly making up libel about the people they didn't like, and Julie had a lot of enemies and was very controversial figure. During the 18th and 19th centuries she was written about a lot in these highly sensationalized Encyclopedias, where the rumors from her lifetime got increasingly wilder and sensational. She was accused for example of seducing noble women in court balls, burning down a convent and murder. There's not much primary sources left or available from her actual lifetime so distinguishing truth from fiction is not an easy task in her case. Kaz Rowe did great job in their youtube video about her to try to actually find out where the stories of her life comes from. They go through some great context too about the rumor industry in the French court at the time so I highly recommend checking it out.

CW: very brief mentions of child sexual abuse and self-harming

The Timeline of Most Concrete Events

Let's first go through the things that have at least a bit more backing than a rumor started 100 years after her death. Julie d'Aubigny was born between 1670 and 1673. Her father was Gaston d'Aubigny, the secretary of Louis of Lorraine, count d’Armagnac, who was Master of Horses to King Loius XIV, and her mother is unknown. She was probably brought to the Versailles court in 1682, where she got a full education including academic subjects, riding and fencing, usually only thought for boys. She was married off to a Sieur de Maupin (first name unknown) probably around 1687, when she would have been 14 to 17 years old. He apparently got a position from a southern province as a tax collector. The stories about her claim she remained in Paris, but I don't think there's evidence of this, though what we do know of her adult life does suggest she was estranged from her husband and lived apart from him. Nevertheless, she did end up in Marseilles, where she first appeared on stage in Marseilles Opéra between 1687 and 1690. She didn't have education in music, but her good looks and beautiful voice landed her the role.

Her first appearances in the Paris Opéra are listed to 1690, so that is probably when she had her debut there. She became a very talked about figure and she gained both friends and enemies in the opera and the court. She performed in the Paris Opéra for probably four years, after which she went to Brussels, Bavaria, where she performed with the Opéra du Quai au Foin at least during 1697 and early 1698, after which she returned to France to perform again with the Paris Opéra.

It was the period when her career peaked and she got a lot of leading female roles. Those roles in French opera were at the time soprano roles, but Julie's natural voice range was lower, contralto. (There's a whole thing where at the time she was described as mezzo-soprano, but the music historian consensus is that her range matches contralto in modern terms as opera was sang on lower cords across the board at the time. (I understand nothing about music theory so I just hope I managed to explain this correctly)) She excelled in secondary female roles of goddesses and warrior women. For the leading roles she had to sing on higher notes than was natural to her and the naive and dainty personalities of those roles clashed with her own personality. Some later retellings of her life claim she performed male roles for female singers (which was common practice, and these roles were often those of young boys), but all known records of her roles are female roles. In 1702 on the leading composers of the Paris Opéra, André Campra, wrote her a leading lady role in Tamcréde, which is often credited to have the first leading female role for contralto. But her perhaps most famous role was as Médée in Medus, which was considered to be a very difficult role. Apparently the original leading singer had fallen ill before the debut so Julie was quickly trained in her stead, but succeeded well and got a lot of praise for the role.

In 1703 Julie started an affair with Madame la Marquise de Florensac, who was said to have been the most beautiful woman in France. This is the affair of hers of which there's most evidence. De Florensac was married and had children, but she was also rumored to have many affairs. Julie lived quietly together with her for two years. They were described by a contemporary to have lived in perfect harmony, always spending time together and only appearing in public when necessarily. Julie deputed in her last role in 1705 and ended her career after De Floransac died of sudden fever. Nothing concrete is known about the rest of her life, not even how or when she died, but she is usually speculated to have died in 1707.

Parsing History from Fantasy

Chronologically the rumor that places earliest in her life was that she had "an affair" with count d’Armagnac (age 46 at the time), before she got married in the same year so as a 14 to 17 year old. There doesn't seem to be any actual evidence of this and even if that really happened, it wouldn't have been an affair, it would have been grooming and sexual violence. Related to it is the rumor that the count arranged her marriage and sent her husband away, but kept her in the court with him. Then she "got bored" of the count and ran away with an assistant sword-master, Séranne, to southern France. They got money by performing fencing matches in fairs and taverns while they were traveling till they got to Marseilles, where she first appeared in opera.

The stories of her in this period are generally written in a super nasty tone, and she (as supposed 14 yo) is written as the seductress and the adult men are written as the victims of her fiery temper and fitfulness. All these stories seem pretty unlikely though. The rumor about the count seems (unfortunately) most possible, but accounts from 18th and 19th century about these early events in her life don't seem to be based on any information from her lifetime. I find it most likely that the writers in 18th and 19th centuries were filling out the blanks we don't know from her life and painting her as this (in their eyes) degenerate seductress from an early age. An alternative possible explanation could have been that she indeed accompanied her husband to south, perhaps near Marseilles, where she then performed with the Marseilles Opéra. Many sources claim though that she performed with her maiden name there, which would be odd if she was living with her husband. I don't know where that claim comes originally, but it could be false of course. Although the generally proposed year of her marriage could also be false, which would explain why she at first performed with her maiden name, and later in Paris and always after that with her husband's name. That would not explain how she ended up going to Marseilles though.

The next and perhaps the most infamous and coolest story of her sets somewhere shortly before 1690. In that story she fell in love with a girl in Marseilles and the girls parents sent her to a convent to avoid a scandal. Julie went to the convent with the premise of wanting to become a novice. They tried to frame the girl's death by putting a dead nun's body into the girls bed and setting it on fire and then went on the run for couple of months. While on the run Julie was sentenced to death in absentia, but after returning to Paris and rekindling her relationship with count d'Armagnac, he got the king to pardon her. As amazing as this story is, it's very likely not true. It seems quite unlikely that the 15 to 19 year old Julie would have done that, but even more unlikely that she'd just get all her charges dropped and these crimes wouldn't have hindered at all her career, which hadn't even properly begun yet. The first surviving description of this incident comes from a letter of her contemporary court lady, Madame Dunoyer, who was basically an early gossip columnist and despised her. Her story doesn't mention Julie at all, but talks about a nun, who tried to frame her own death in a similar manner to escape with her male lover (which still sounds very unlikely story). The first surviving description that attaches that story to Julie, comes year after her death from the very suspect writings of a known liar, Cardinal Debois, who did personally know and hate Julie. He claimed that Dumenil, who was an actor in Paris Opéra the same time as Julie, related him the story, while also acknowledging he probably did it because he too hated her. So very likely not a true story, but possibly something that was rumored during her lifetime already.

In the stories of her, after escaping from the convent and before going to Paris, she traveled again in male attire and met Louis Joseph d'Albert de Luynes von Grimberghen, commonly known as count d'Albert. He was an interesting character in his own right, roughly her age, and like her, his real story is a little hard to parse from the legend (though in his case, he was a nobleman so there's also a lot of actual records of his life). In the story though, he thought she was a man, they had some disagreement, a fight broke out, she won, injured him and nursed him back to health. And then they had a brief affair before d'Albert went to war again. They were lifelong friends, so this is not entirely made up. It's entirely possible they had a brief affair (and according to many stories an on and off type of affair that was re-kindled at many points in their lives) and there was rumors about it even in her lifetime, but the story of this first meeting seems to lack validity.

Next in her stories she met Gabriel-Vincent Thévenard, who was another famous singer and her contemporary, either right before or right after she arrived in Paris. They became lovers and after Thévenard auditioned and got accepted into the Paris Opéra, he helped to get Julie accepted too. It is true that as far as we know, they both debuted in 1690. They were also said to have been life long friends and again it's possible they were lovers at some point, but the details of their meeting are difficult to know.

There are many stories about her antics of both of her times in the Paris Opéra. In those stories she fought duels, assaulted Dumenil with a cane, robbed Dumenil, had fights with men after they insulted her or another women or harassed other women, tried to kill herself after her love was not reciprocated, threatened to shoot a duchess in the head, threatened to slit Cardinal Debois' throat, bit Thévenard in the ear on stage and had affairs with men and women. According to Cardinal Debois the feud between Dumenil and Julie started because Dumenil was interested in her but she rejected him. The Cardinal was a liar but it does sound pretty believable. So if it's true and he spread in retaliation a lie that she burned down a convent, her beating him up or beating him up, stealing his valuables and returning them to him by humiliating him in front of other actors, would align well with everything else told about her personality. Maybe her retaliation wasn't exactly as in the stories, but if the other things about Dumenil were true, I'm sure she retaliated in some way. Same applies to her threatening the Cardinal's life. He wrote about it, but he was a liar, but, but because he was a liar who lied about her, it sounds like something she might do. Madame Dunoyer wrote about her threatening the Duchess of Luxembourg apparently because of jealousy over count d'Albert. The duchess was d'Albert's mistress at one point and apparently he even fought a duel over her in 1700. So there is some validity to this rumor, though the circumstances were perfect to fabricate that kind of rumor. I haven't found as much backing to other rumors, but many of them sound possible or at least maybe rooted in some reality and exaggerated.

The rumored explanation for why she left the Paris Opéra around 1694 was that she went into a court ball in men's clothing, kissed a woman on the dance floor and got challenge to a duel by three noblemen. They went outside and she won, but because dueling was illegal, she had to flee to Bavaria, and later when she returned, she was supposedly pardoned by the king again. In the more sensational versions of the story she killed the noblemen. This whole story is very unlikely. Even count d'Albert was imprisoned for engaging in an illegal duel (the one in 1700). He got eventually pardoned, but he was a nobleman and basically a war hero. The first surviving accounts of this story come much after her dead and it sounds more like a very exaggerated version of the other stories of her. There's many more plausible reason why she would have left to Bavaria. If her contemporaries descriptions of her behavior were even half true, those could have been scandal enough. Or if the rumors of her burning down a convent were circling that time already, that alone could have been damaging enough to her career that she thought it best to leave for a while.

In Bavaria, she's rumored to have another scandal. She supposedly became lover of the Max Emanuel, Elector of Bavaria, but she was too dramatic and after she stabbed herself with a real knife during a performance, the Elector decided she was too much, demanded her to leave Bavaria and gave her money for it. She supposedly threw the money to the feet of the messenger and left. The first surviving account of this story comes again from Madame Dunoyer, the details of which have changed, but were always quite exaggerated and unbelievable. Still the core events might be true, it's possible she was the Elector's lover for a while and it's also possible she stabbed herself on stage for real, being very dramatic as she was.

Was she queer?

There are enough accounts of her attraction and relationships with women from people who actually knew her, that I do find it very likely that she was sapphic. Cardinal Debois even implied she was exclusive interested in women or at least heavily preferred them, though other accounts by the people who knew her did talk about her attraction to men too. Her dressing in men's clothing is also mentioned enough times by her contemporaries that I do believe it. Because gender was so heavily tied to clothing and sexuality and fashion was less about what you wanted to wear and more about what you wanted others to think about you, I think she probably had some gender feelings. Even her aggressive and assertive behavior was very much seen as crossing gender boundaries. There's no more evidence of her feelings on gender than her androgynous presentation, so it's mostly speculation.

In conclusion, she was definitely a flavor of queer.

Julie circa 1700 in opera costume.

The most notable source I used:

Julie D'Aubigny: the 17th Century Sapphic Swordfighting Opera Singer, video by Kaz Rowe - I mentioned this before but it bears repeating

Research page by Jim Burrows - This was great since there's gathered multiple sources on le Maupin, historical and more recent, some of which are hard to access fully otherwise

Julie d'Aubigny: La Maupin and Early French Opera, LAPL blog post - It repeats most of the rumors of questionable origin about her as truth, but the sections about her career, which have more backing than just rumors, are really helpful

Mademoiselle De Maupin; Biographical sketches & anecdotes, The Dublin University Magazine - One of those questionable biographies of her from 1854, really only good as a source of what the rumors were after her death

Chevalier, Louis-Joseph, prince de Grimberghen, essay by Neil Jeffares - Biography of count d'Albert, which includes a lot of unsourced rumors about both le Maupin and d'Albert, but recounts his life events in great detail, and references to each claim show which parts are sourced well

[lionsongfr]

Crystalline Gala Cuisine

Been a bit since I made a festival cuisine, and since my old ones have been circulating, I guiltily figured I should make one for the Gala before it ends.  Gaolers and Tundras are both herbivores (though Gaolers also eat meat), but I headcanon that like most herbivores they will opportunistically eat fish, insects, and meat when given the chance. The dishes have a bit more mixing than the previous cuisine; in the Icefield you eat what you can and as much as you can to survive. Potato Onions are my replacement for potatos, because FR needs potatoes (and citrus and tomatoes and wheat and rice and spices).

Seeker Stew- originally a stew of necessity for traveling Seekers, it was made of dried Sea Grass, small Cragside Mussels, canned Common Minnows, Sour Elk milk, and spoiled Turnips. The dish was transformed back home, using fresh Spinach, meaty Olympia Oysters, Jumbo Shrimp, new Potato Onions, and…sour Snowfall Elk milk. Funk is flavor!

Shalefin in a Fur Coat- this uniquely named dish is a layered salad, like the layers of a Tundra fur coat. It is made of finely sliced pickled Shalefin fillets, grated Potato Onion, Gradish, and Honeycrisp Apple, and chopped hard-boiled Flecked Bushrunner eggs. The key binding ingredient is a flavorful mayonnaise made of Elk tallow, Dappled Clucker yolks, and dill.

Bear in a Cave Dumplings-a favorite of the Fae scholars of the Frozen Sanctum. It is a boiled or fried Potato Onion dumpling filled with fried Wooly Bear, Wild Onion, and Dryad's Saddle. It can be served with melted Elk milk butter and Winter’s Delight jam or a white sauce spiced with dried Dusky Mealworm and imported Golden Pepper.

Tundra Grub- a dish named after the main protein of the dish: a sausage filled with Tundra Grub meat, Longneck-grown oats, and Elk blood. The sausage is fried along with strips of Tundra Cactus before being added to an earthy brown sauce of Mycena Mushroom and Earthworms. It is typically served with an unleavened flatbread made of rye or Longneck oats, or a mash of Potato Onion.

Woodland Turkey Dinner- this was once a seasonal dish, but now is common year-round. While the star of the dinner is the roasted Woodland Turkey, the side dishes are just as essential. The most common is: Deep Sea Lobster and Jumbo Shrimp stuffing, roasted Winter Brussel Sprouts with a Superberry vinegarette, Tundra Grub and Potato Onion mash with Mycena Mushroom gravy, and Stonecorn rolls with Elk cheese and White Lace Honeybee honey. And last but not least, a Cinnamon and Honeycrisp Apple pie. A heavy dinner said to put even Sentinels to sleep!

Trunk Cheese- not actually cheese, but a cold meat dish made of fresh Bullephant Trunk (or Mammophant, though it is not as tasty).  The meat of the trunk is removed and cooked in a mix of spices and Wild Onion, and then poured and set with gelatin in the skin of the trunk. Slices are cut from the trunk and served upon rye bread with strong Wild Mustard and pickled Gradish.   

Edamame Soup and Pancakes- a popular yet odd combination of savory and sweet. This dish features a Chilled Edamame soup (heated of course, the chilled variety of plants grow better in the hot houses of Icefield) with large chunks of smokey Elk bacon, a sprinkle of thyme, and a dollop of Wild Mustard. The pancakes are made of nutty and mildly sweet Amaranth flour and served with Winter’s Delight jam. The soup is traditionally dished with a silver spoon, after a mighty Tundra king was poisoned by his favorite soup.

Warden’s Delight- a dessert, a snack, a spread upon rye bread, and a delight to every hatchie. It is a mix of Elk tallow, Spotted Seal or Wooly Walrus oil, fresh snow, and Winter’s Delight. As the mixture is whipped into fluffy peaks, it is traditional to sing “Warden’s Delight to fight off the night, no Shade or beast shall fill my sight. Drive away the hunger, drive away the cold, fill my belly and make me bold.”

Frozen Bouquet- flowers are rarity in the Southern Icefield, but this bouquet is made from flash-frozen flowers and fruits. After thawing they are quickly coated in a thin layer of crystalized maple syrup and then arranged into a bouquet. Often the bouquets have hidden meanings like Pretty Pink Mums for courting. Winterbelle for strength, and Wolfsbane for warning. But what every Tundra fears the most is a bouquet of Black Tulips.

 Crisp Morning Cider- Vodka is life to Ice Flight, the warmth in one’s chest in a land where winter never ends. And while most drink it “neat”, when rations are low then cocktails are the answer!  This drink is a common morning warmer and is a mix of White Lace Honeybee honey with hot water, Vodka, Honeycrisp Apple cider, and Cinnamon.

Boreal Brew-a tea made from the leaves of whatever green tree is available. Birch, Fir, Spruce, and Pine can all be brewed into an astringent tea with a citrus-y aftertaste. Unfortunately, Birch, Fir, and Spruce are typically harvested during Spring-Summer- but Pine is harvested during December. To help remove the bitter taste, Pine can be fermented with sugar for a week to a month (fermentation time depending on temperature) and then filtered and served as cold tea.

[buttsmasher]

Seth (Repost)

Warnings/Tags: Underwear Stealing, Sweaty Underwear Sniffing, Face Farting, Fart Torture, Fart Punishment, Gay Farts

You’ve just finished your workout when you see Seth, one of the lead basketball players for your collegiate team, heading to the locker rooms. You head that way as well, watching his ass as he walks. When you both do make it to the locker room, you try not to stare too much as he gets dressed. But you can’t help it, the dude is a total hunk. You can’t stop wondering what his balls smell like after a sweaty gym session.

You shake your head and try focusing on getting dressed. You hear Seth say fuck, and he throws on the pair of yellow shorts he was working out in and jogs out the locker room. That’s when you notice Seth’s locker is slightly ajar. You take a peak around the locker room and determine that you’re alone. You creep over to his open locker and pull it open. There they are, the green boxer briefs with clear sweat stains on them.

You take another look around before swiping the prize. You bring the sweaty green boxer briefs to your nose and take a long inhale. You have to bite your lip to stop yourself from moaning.

The musk is intoxicating, and you just have to get another whiff. You put his pouch right up to your nose and draw in a breath getting high off of the scent of his tangy balls. You sit down right on the bench in front of his locker, feverishly sniffing the musky clothing. 

Someone clears their throat behind you, but you don’t hear it. You’re too occupied by the scent of pure man in your face. “Hey faggot!” The person yells at you and you turn around to come face to face with Seth. “I think you have something that belongs to me.” You slowly pull the boxers away from your face.

“Uhh, no, I think-I think these are mine.” You lie, gettin up, boner obviously tenting your shorts as you try to walk back to your locker. He grabs your arm and swipes the undies out of your hand. 

“You think I’m stupid?” He pushes you. 

“No! No!” You shake your head frantically and he pushes you again.

“Steal my underwear and try to gaslight me.” He feigns a punch, stopping right before his fist makes contact. You see gears turning. “Get on the ground.” 

“What?” 

“On the ground, now!” You get down on your knees. “On your back!” You’re beginning to worry that someone might hear him. 

“Okay, okay, just stop yelling.” You lay on your back. Before you can even get comfortable he’s dropping his full weight onto you. Your nose pokes into the ass crack of his shorts as he moves back and forth. His shorts smell even muskier than his boxers did. 

“How’s that? You like that?” He jostles your head around with his making sure your face is overwhelmed by his stink. 

PFFFFFFFFFTT PFFFFFFFFF

A couple of short but noxious farts escape from his ass assaulting your nose immediately. They didn’t sound like much, but they pack quite a punch and make you cough and you struggle to get away from the eggy smelling ass smothering you. “I bet you liked that huh?” You rapidly shake your head no. “Well hold on, there’s more where that came from.”

PFFFFFFFFBBBRRRRFFFFFTTTTT 

“Aaah fuck yeah!” He groans as the five second beast of a fart gets released up your nose. The smell of rotten sewage and broccoli overload your senses. To make matters worse, you can taste his farts in the back of your throat. “Bet you were wishing you didn’t try stealin’ my undies now huh bitch? Ate broccoli and brussel sprouts before I came here.” 

PFFFFFFFFFRRRFFFFFTTTT PFFFFF PFF

“If you try hard enough, bet you can smell them.” You continue to struggle and Seth lifts up slightly. You get a clean breath of air into your lungs and seeing the opportunity you try to push yourself off the ground, but you watch in horror as he pulls his shorts down revealing his ass. His ass is covered in light blonde hair and as he sits back down on your face, the hairs tickle your nose. 

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTT

This time a 15 second fart punches it’s way up your nose. Your breath is literally taken away as you inhale the toxic fumes. You struggle to breathe against Seth’s sweaty and musky ass. “Can’t forget about that protein shake. Those things are deadly by themselves.” 

PFFF PFFFF PFFFFFFFF

“How you like that faggot? You like it when you get your face blown up with Seth-Bombs?” He mocks. “I bet you like it. I bet that you followed me here just to get a whiff of a real man.” His ass cheeks clench on your face. 

“Please, I can’t take it.” you whine. “I’m sorry.” 

“Oh bud, it’s too late for apologies.” You can hear his stomach gurgling. “I mean, you should’ve known you’d be caught.” He pulls his leg closer to his face.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTT

A loud, echoing fart explodes from his ass. “And that’s what I call a Seth-Nuke!” He yells. The scent is easily the worst thing you’ve smelled your entire life. 

“Please stop.” You cry as your head falls back against the hard concrete. “No more.” You huff, trying to get any clean air you can.

PFFFFFFFFFFFTTT

You breathe in the exact moment he lets out a torrent of gas. The fart overloads your brain and you can’t think straight. The world feels like it’s spinning as you cough up a lung. All you can taste and smell is his nasty ass. Your legs stop kicking as you no longer have the strength to put up any resistance. 

“Aww did little fart face pass out?” He mocks as he stands back up. You lay there staring up at him unable to move. You try to move but you're too tired. “I’ll just let you stay there, maybe you can think about how you fucked up.” Before leaving he hikes his leg up and lets out another loud fart. “Adios faggot.” 

He leaves you there, his stench lingering on you. You lay there for what seems like an eternity, contemplating on how to get the taste of his ass off your tongue. 

[thatswhatsushesaid]

excellent, more a-yao for me then

I hate Jin Guangyao sooooo much

[statelysapphic]

Chessy and the Farmer

Chessy x Reader

Summary: Chessy has a farmer's market crush.

Warnings: None, just some fluff.

Notes: Lightly proofread. Feedback is always appreciated. Enjoy<3

It was a crisp September morning in the Napa Valley. Sun shining, fog looming, and a layer of dew painting the greenery. Chessy’s favorite farmers market weather. She smiles and pulls her coffee mug closer to her mouth, lips remaining curled. She began making a mental checklist of things she needed, but soon found her thoughts elsewhere. Hallie and Annie had agreed to accompany her, a rare occurrence and one Chessy looked forward to. She only needed one more thing for the day to be perfect: you. Her favorite local farmer.

You wouldn’t necessarily call yourself a farmer. You just grew various fruits, vegetables, and herbs in six raised beds out back. Sure, you grew way more than you needed, but the process was something you cherished, so you didn’t mind making more work for yourself. Tending to your garden was a therapeutic exercise for you. There wasn’t a problem in the world an hour in the garden couldn’t fix. Cool soil grounded you after a long day. Caring for your plants made you feel alive.

Some of what you grew was harvested and either eaten or preserved for yourself. Everything else was sold or preserved. The local farmers market was the only place you set up shop. After all, this was a hobby and not your career, and you didn’t want to overdo it. What you didn’t sell at the end of the day, you donated to the local soup kitchen. You didn’t want anything going to waste. 

—-

Packing up your old, beat-up pickup, the last box you grab curls your lips into a grin at the label, ‘Chessy.’ You’ve seen the redhead almost every Sunday morning for the last year and a half, though it only took a few months of her consistent patronage for you to be smitten.  Although her purchases each week varied, you noticed a couple of patterns. The second Sunday of every month, Chessy would buy a jar of your canned pickles. Today was the second Sunday of the month. Peaking into the box, you see the jar of pickles amongst small baskets of cherry tomatoes, brussel sprouts, green beans, and bell peppers, and bushels of chives, mint, sage, and dill. All for her. 

You hoist the box into the passenger seat of the truck, rather than letting it jostle around in the bed with the rest of the crops. You hesitate as you grip the truck door, looking back at the precious cargo. Without a second thought, you grabbed the seatbelt and buckled the box into the seat. “Safety first,” you whisper to yourself, shutting the door before hitting the road.

—-

“Ooh Lala, your woman is here, Chessy,” Hallie teased. The older woman chuckled slightly and pulled a ten dollar bill from the breast pocket of her denim jacket, handing it to the twins.

“Very funny. Here, go get yourselves some lemonade over there and I’ll catch up with you.” She nodded to the girls and watched them walk to the lemonade stand before making her way to your table. “Well, good morning,” she said as she approached, a smile on her face. Your favorite smile.

“There’s my favorite customer,” you said, a grin on your face, “I hope you don’t mind, but I put a little something together for you.” You turned away from her to retrieve her box from the truck, missing the way Chessy smirked and bowed her head in an attempt to hide the blush that painted her face. When she lifted her head again, she was met with a box in front of her. A box, she noted, meant just for her. Now, there was no hiding her blush, though she wore it with pride. 

Chessy admired the harvest chosen specially for her. “This all looks delicious, hun,” she pauses for a moment as she locks her eyes on the jar of pickles, “And you remembered my midnight snack.” Her eyes find yours, and heat rises to your face.

“Every second Sunday of the month,” you say casually. “They’re my go-to midnight snack as well. Good taste.” The older woman’s smile widens at your confession, as you push the imagine of you sitting on your kitchen counter with Chessy standing between your legs, hands loosely on your hips, as you feed her pickles as far out of your brain as you could. 

“Do you remember the snacking habits of all your customers?” The redhead asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“Only the one that matters.” One. You play it off as if you didn’t just confess that she matters to you in some capacity. 

Chessy’s breath hitched in her throat at your words. She couldn’t take her eyes off of you, and she didn’t really want to. Her features softened as she released her breath. Her farmers market crush: reciprocated. Everything is quiet for a moment, as if it was just the two of you in this gravel lot. The familiar chuckle of certain twins pulled Chessy back to reality. “What’s the damage for a spread like this?” She asked you, reaching into her pants pocket.

Quickly, you raise your hand to stop her. “Nothin’. It’s on me this time.” You can tell she’s about to protest, so you don’t give her the chance. “Consider it a gift. For my favorite customer.” You notice that the twins are standing behind Chessy, though your eyes never leave her. 

“Then come over for dinner a night this week. Let me cook for you,” she says, “and I’m not taking no for an answer.” Her words sculpt a wide grin on your face and paint it red. Was this really happening? You finally break her gaze only to lock eyes with the twins, who are both nodding their heads fervently with large, toothy smiles. 

When your eyes are once again locked onto hers, you nod your head and reply, “Yeah, I think I’d like that. Thank you. I’m free Tuesday if that works for you?”

“Six o’clock. Don’t be late,” she said with a wink and a smirk that you’ll never forget, before grabbing her box and turning to leave. She’ll take the afternoon to convince Nick to make everyone scarce on Tuesday evening. Chessy walks past the twins, who are still giggling and whispering to each other, not bothering to acknowledge the sarcastic smile the older woman gives them. “Girls, let’s go!” She yells once she’s a few yards ahead of them.

You throw your head back in a small chuckle before hearing the twins sing, in unison, “Chessy and the farmer sitting in a tree…”

[mybleedingboy]

free recordings of shakespeare plays

in alphabetical order for convenience (but pls use CTRL+F) disclaimer: i have not watched all of these.

all's well that ends well to julius caesar (part 1, here)

king john to the winter's tale (part 2, coming tomorrow maybe idk)

*login with public library card or university, italicized are audio recordings, ! means I don't want the video to get taken down so I didn't add it but search it up and you'll find a good production on a specific website...

All's Well That Ends Well

Shakespeare by the Sea (2013)

UC Davis Playing Shakespeare (2010)

BBC Television Shakespeare* or (1981)

Plainfield Little Theatre (2016)

Shakespeare Network (1998)

Antony and Cleopatra !

Royal Shakespeare Company (1974)

Unbound Theatre (2019)

Shakespeare & Company (2018)

Shakespeare Network (1998)

Greatest Audio Books (2013)

As You Like It

movie adapted by JM Barrie and Robert Cullen (1936)

The Public Theater of MN (2013)

Rice University (2019)

Oxford Theatre Guild (2020)

Shakespeare & Company (2014)

Battle Ground High School Drama Club (2017)

Shakespeare Network (1998)

Greatest Audio Books (2015)

BBC Shakespeare Plays* (1978)

Comedy of Errors

Steam-Punk Performance (2014)

Shakespeare by the Sea (2019)

Shakespeare in the Park NZ (2007)

Coronado Playhouse (2021)

Highland Arts Theatre (2021)

Theatre Company of Saugus, pt. 2 (2023)

Shakespeare Network (2020)

Greatest Audio Books (2013)

BBC Movie* (1984)

Coriolanus !

Brussels Shakespeare Society (2017)

Movie (1964)

Shakespeare Network (1998)

Cymbeline

Shakespeare by the Sea (2016)

Shakespeare & Company (2012)

Movie* (1984)

Shakespeare Network (1998)

Hamlet ! (hint: Moriarty)

adapted and dir. Laurence Olivier (1948)

Abrahamse & Meyer Production (2015)

Bob Jones University (2020)

Broadway Production (1964)

starr. Maxine Peake (2015)

BLC Theatre (2013)

Hamlet as a Rock Opera (2007)

Radio Drama (2018?)

Studio Album star. 1964 Broadway cast (1964)

Shakespeare Network (1998)

BBC Shakespeare Plays* (1980)

Royal Shakespeare Company* (2013)

Wooster Group Re-making* (?) (2012)

Henry IV, Part I

English Shakespeare Company (1990)

Brussels Shakespeare Society (adapted I and II, 2017)

TVO (1990)

Shakespeare & Company (2017)

Shakespeare Network (1998)

Oregon Shakespeare Festival (1950)

Oakshot Press (2017)

BBC Shakespeare Plays* (1984)

H4* (Henry IV parts I and II in futuristic Los Angeles, 2012)

Henry IV, Part II

English Shakespeare Company (1990)

Shakespeare Network (1998)

Oakshot Press (2017)

BBC Shakespeare Plays* (1984)

Henry V

Laurence Olivier (1944)

English Shakespeare Company (1990)

Barn Theatre (2020?)

St. Louis Shakespeare,pt. 2 (2011)

ASC Theatre Company (2022)

Shakespeare Network (1998)

AudioBookBuzz (2018)

BBC Shakespeare Plays* (1979)

Henry VI, Part I

Royal Shakespeare Company (parts I, II, and III, 1956)

English Shakespeare Company (1990)

Shakespeare by the Sea (2021)

Shakespeare Network (1998)

BBC Shakespeare Plays* (1984)

Henry VI, Part II

English Shakespeare Company (1990)

ASC Theatre Camp (2020)

Shakespeare Network (1998)

Oregon Shakespeare Festival (1954)

BBC Shakespeare Plays* (1984)

Henry VI, Part III

English Shakespeare Company (1990?)

Whitman College (1992)

Shakespeare Network (1998)

Oregon Shakespeare Festival (1955)

(BBC Shakespeare Plays* (1984)

Henry VIII

Shakespeare Happy Hours (online, 2020)

Shakespeare Network (1998)

Oregon Shakespeare Festival (1957)

BBC Shakespeare Plays* (1984)

Julius Caesar !

starr. Gielgud, dir. Stuart Burge (1970)

Festival Series (1960)

Flint Hills Shakespeare Festival (2016)

Shakespeare at Winedale (2018)

Acting for a Cause (2022)

Shakespeare Network (1998)

Greatest AudioBooks (2013)

dir. Gregory Doran* (2012)

[thorsenmark]

A Drive Through the Canadian Rockies and Icefields Parkway (Jasper National Park) by Mark Stevens Via Flickr: With a clear highway to stand and take in this view, I attempted to center myself on the road and mountains beyond. What a mountain view to take in while driving and soaking it all in! Mountains and more mountains...

[derwahnsinn]

31 Days Idol Challenge - Oliver Riedel

Day 17 - On Knees

Oliver has been on his knees many times, he often kneels during concerts. One of my favourite moments, apart from the Puppe outro dance, is when he does his little "prayer" at the start of Sehnsucht. He did it in Helsinki facing forward, but since he doesn't do it that often, I finally managed to catch it again in the second Brussels concert, when he did it sideways facing Schneider instead.

I love Sehnsucht live, and the intro is fantastic. Needless to say, when Oliver decides to treat the audience like this, it's even better. This is my video from 04.08.2023, unfortunately, the person to my right threw their hand in front of my camera, so the video goes out of focus for a few seconds. Please don't share in other social media, and please credit if you use it for anything.

Bonus material: 1-2) MIG Tour with Frau Schneider was in many way peak kneeling era. I don't know who made the gifs. 3) Oliver crawling, by Manon Daughan. 4) Oliver kneeling by Flake's keyboards, by Patryk Pigeon. 5) Oliver kneeling in the boat, unknown photographer. 6) Oliver kneeling on B-stage, unknown photographer. 7) Young Oliver kneeling in leather pants, by Rammsteinlive. 8) Oliver kneeling on B-stage, unknown photographer. 9) Oliver kneeling in Berlin, by me.

--

Others doing this challenge:

Till: @endlich-allein Flake: @anwiel13 Paul: @instillennachten

[zero-way-out]

Tip for my adhd friends, frozen vegetables have just as much or more nutrients than fresh vegetables because they are harvested at peak season.

Plus, walmart sells bags of veggies like broccoli, brussel sprouts, or stir fry mixes that can be microwaved in the bag and make about 2-4 servings.

One of my favorite, "i can't cook today" meals is a microwaved package of brussel sprouts with butter and balsamic vinegar on top.

[notbop]

rate every vegetable/greens

spinach

potatoes

garlic

lettuce

mushrooms (if you count them)

tomatoes

onions

green onions

broccoli (if done right)

bell peppers

cucumbers

carrots

celery

kale

sweet potatoes

asparagus

brussels sprouts

squash

zucchini

broccoli (if done wrong)

1-12 are peak

13-16 are okay

17-20 arent great

[unofskylanderspages]

When Sonic Boom chose the highest mountain peak to lay her eggs, little did she know that she was being watched by an evil wizard. Wearing a cloak of invisibility, the wizard made his way to Sonic Boom's nest, where he hoped to snatch a baby griffin feather for one of these wicked spells. Wizards live on a disgusting diet of liver and Brussels sprouts so, while Sonic Boom could not see an egg-thief, she could certainly smell one. She filled the sky with an ear-shattering shriek and the wizard stumbled backwards out of his cloak. But as he fell, the wizard put the young hatchlings under a cruel curse. Now, the babies can only break from their eggshells, for mere minutes before returning to one of their eggs, trapped in an endless cycle of rebirth. Sonic Boom and her hatchlings have used the curse to their advantage, however, and are now the first Skylanders to fight as a family. Their specialty is wiping out spout-stinking wizards.