#Brother Francis is very fun to write tbh

[heimurinn]

As The Garden Says

I saw this absolutely adorable art by @thacmis​ and felt very inspired. So have some sweet little Nanny Crowley/Brother Francis fluff! 

Length: 1,688 words

----

It would come at no shock to anyone that Aziraphale liked theater. 

He looked like the kind of man to like theater, he looked like the kind of man to show up at a five-hour opera and pay fervent attention instead of using the whole affair to get drunk off nice wine in nice clothes sitting on nice, uncomfortable furniture. Which is what Crowley did the one, and only, time Aziraphale had convinced him to come along. 

Crowley was sure that Aziraphale would have been an actor in a mortal life, he isn’t sure if he would have been a good actor, but an enthusiastic one at the very least. One does have to be somewhat good at acting to be immortal on earth, blending into human society and convincing those nearby that yes you are in fact human even though you haven’t aged a day in ten years, so one usually picks up the skill willingly or no. Aziraphale, however, loves to play true characters, when he gets the chance, eccentric characters, like magicians, very odd bookstore owners, or old gardeners. 

Crowley had put a decent amount of effort into becoming Nanny Crowley, he’d decided that she was kind in a very poisonous way, smoothed-voiced and caring, slowly digging into your mind. Like nightshade, Nanny Crowley was beautiful but toxic. He would have fun with that. He’d also decided she was stylish, but that was more of a given, what’s the point if she isn’t stylish? 

His pre-planning ended about there, he’d play it by ear from there, he was very good at improvising, he liked to think. 

Crowley knew that Aziraphale would take his character a bit farther, and believed he would be ready for whatever Aziraphale had thought up. I’ll be a gardener, he told Crowley, Brother Francis. He’ll be wonderful! 

Crowley had tried to picture this “Brother Francis.” He’d come up with the image of a man in a straw hat and overalls who probably played the banjo, or more accurately made banjo music play in the minds of everyone when he entered a room. 

Crowley was not however prepared for Brother Francis. He’d expected Aziraphale to put in an effort but this, this was too much. The sideburns that dwarfed his face, the teeth so large and buck he couldn’t properly close his mouth, the way he walked less like a walk and more like scooting slowly forward, one side at a time. 

Crowley burst out laughing when Aziraphale first showed him Brother Francis, and when he commented on his walk, Aziraphale said Crowley walked like a snake who recently regrew legs, to which Crowley protested. 

They did at least, look like the absolute polar opposite of the other, which Crowley supposed was effective in the duality of good and evil they were trying to put in the young Antichrist’s head. Nanny Crowley did try to keep her face as straight as she could when she saw Brother Francis in the garden. They had a habit of running into Brother Francis when Crowley returned with Warlock after a day out, and Warlock always ran straight to him. 

“Nanny took me to the museum today!” Warlock told Francis as he quietly weeded the garden, whistling a hymn. 

“Did she?” Francis said, standing to face him, he held a basket in one hand, filled with green weeds, Crowley had told him to let them rot a bit, and then put them back in the soil. The fear of knowing the weaker of them will be fed to the strong was excellent growing motivation. 

 Warlock nodded an excited, boyish nod, “She says when I grow up, it will all be mine. She says kings will kneel before me and beg me to take their crowns!”

Francis gave him a buck-toothed smile, the kind of smile that made distant birds chirp, “Ah but you know,” he said, “The best gifts are those that are given to you, Master Warlock, but if another has what you want, you must first ask.” 

“Always?” 

“Always, even for something as small as say…” he gestured to the bed of flowers behind him, “A flower from a garden.” 

Warlock stared from Francis to the flowers, “Can I have a flower?” 

Francis gave that same, bird chirping smile, and shook his head, “Don’t ask me, young master, ask the garden.” 

From where she stood in the yard, Nanny Crowley rolled her eyes, checking her watch, “Your mother is waiting for us, dear.” 

Warlock ignored him, enthralled in Brother Francis’ lesson. He knelt down on his knees and whispered to the garden, “Can I have a flower?” 

Francis knelt beside him, cupping one hand around his ear, leaning into the flowers, “Hear that?” He said, “The garden says ‘Yes.’”

“Really!” 

“Yes.” Said Francis, “It says ‘A daisy for young Warlock.” He reached into the garden and plucked a tiny, perfect daisy. 

“Warlock!” Crowley called again, “Your mother-” 

“And,” said Francis, this time it was all Aziraphale, having too much fun tormenting Crowley, “It says ‘A rose, for the beautiful lady.’” 

Crowley blinked. 

Francis clipped a perfect red rose off a bush and handed both flowers to the boy, who ran excitedly back to his nanny’s side, clutching his daisy to his chest while he handed her the rose. 

Crowley looked over to Aziraphale, still smiling, slowly he took off his hat and held it to his chest, and gave Crowley a small, adoring bow. 

Crowley gave an amused chuckle and took the flower, tucking it into her hat, “Come along my dear.” She said, and lead Warlock into the house. 

----

“You know it confuses him when you do things like that,” Crowley said. He and Aziraphale sat in a small coffee shop, near Aziraphale’s bookshop, they’d chosen to stop on their way back from submitting their reports, and take a much-needed break. 

“Things like what?” Aziraphale replied, taking another bite of banoffee pie, not looking up from his newspaper. 

“Things like that flower,” Crowley said, leaning back into the booth. His black coffee untouched and growing cold. 

Aziraphale looked at him over the rim of his glasses, “It’s my character, Crowley! Brother Francis is a kind old fellow-” 

“Odd old fellow.” 

Aziraphale rolled his eyes, “What’s wrong with a flower?” 

Crowley leaned on his right hand, looking away from Aziraphale, tapping on the table with his left, “You know. We aren’t supposed to like each other. Good and evil. Opposing forces. That’s the whole point, right?” 

Aziraphale paused for a moment, staring at Crowley, before his eyes went back to his paper, “Well, I don’t think I’m confusing him,” he turned the page, “I’m teaching him to be kind to everyone. Even those you might find...unpleasant.” 

Crowley snapped his gaze back to the angel, “Unpleasant?” 

“You know what I mean!” Aziraphale responded, his tone more mischievous than defensive, “Besides...it suits you.” 

Crowley raised an eyebrow, “Does it?” 

“Well, it suits Nanny Crowley,” Aziraphale shifted in his seat, “It’s just like her. Stubborn, beautiful, and” he scooped another bit of pie into his mouth, “A bit prickly.” 

“Prickly?” 

Aziraphale returned to his paper, raising his eyebrows a bit, a pleased smile on his face. 

----

One of the most tedious tasks of being Warlock’s nanny was helping his mother with dinner. Nanny Crowley knew next to nothing about properly cooking a meal, she just read along whatever recipes Mrs. Dowling printed out, waited for her to look away, and then moved her fingers a bit. Ah! Now the onions are diced perfectly and the steak is seasoned. Is that all you needed, ma’am? 

 There was also the prospect of listening to Mrs. Dowling’s monologues about her husband, “I know he’s busy but it’s our anniversary!” “My mother is going to be there, and he can’t even be bothered to show up?” “He’s lucky is so far away or I swear to god!” 

To all of which Crowley would respond with some polite nods and agreeable noises, while Bohemian Rhapsody played on a loop in her head. 

Tonight was such a night, Crowley quietly ground garlic with a snap of her fingers, placing it into a tiny bowl and handing it to Mrs. Dowling, “He says he won’t be home for dinner tonight,” she said, punctuating the sentence with a sigh, “Warlock’s going to be upset, would you mind taking him somewhere fun tomorrow?” 

“Of course ma’am.” 

The conversation was interrupted by the sound of a child’s sneakers running across kitchen tile, both women turned around to see Warlock, entirely covered in dirt, and holding a collection of pristine red roses. 

Mrs. Dowling saw the dirt first, “What- what have you been doing?” She ran over, grabbing a dish towel from the sink and trying fruitlessly to rub the dirt from his face, “Have you been rolling around in the garden?” 

“Yes,” Warlock said, holding up the roses. 

Now his mother saw the roses. She placed a hand to her chest, “Are those for me?” 

“No.” 

“Oh,” Mrs. Dowling blinked in surprise. Warlock walked past her, trailing dirt on the white tile until he stood at Crowley’s feet. 

“Brother Francis said the garden said it wants you to have these,” Warlock held the flowers high up to Crowley, the petals brushing the base of her chin. 

Crowley stood there for a moment, blinking, jaw slightly agape, Mrs. Dowling’s eyes on her. She gave a surprised, almost nervous laugh, before wrapping her hand around the stems. 

“Thank you, dear,” She said, holding the roses to her chest. Giving Warlock a polite pat on the head. 

Warlock gave her a big, dirty smile, and ran back out the door. 

Mrs. Dowling stood up, wiping off her skirt, “Brother Francis…” 

“Mhm,” Crowley brought the bouquet up to her nose, they smelled sweet. 

“He’s a nice man and everything but, sometimes I worry about the things he tells my son.” 

“Hmm,” Crowley brushed her thumb across one of the petals. Soft, red, and perfect. She wrapped her hand tighter around the stems and felt there were no thorns. 

[senditothemoonn]

12, 26, 28 for scotfra!

Ask meme !

12: Favorite book genre?

Is cook book a genre? If so then I think he goes through them like lightning lol. Perhaps they wouldn't be considered his favourite type of book but I think he reads through them and tries every recipe just to tear them apart afterward when they inevitably don't live up to his impossibly high standards. And I think he has fun doing it.

Apart from that, I think he enjoys romance, mystery, thrillers, classic literature. You know what, I don't really think he has a favourite genre tbh, he reads whatever he's in the mood for.

Alasdair, on the other hand, loves detective novels. He'll read a lot of other stuff too (like a lot of stuff) but I think he particularly enjoys mystery/thriller type things. Like he'll reread his favourite stuff over and over and look for little Easter eggs and foreshadowing he missed the first time.

26: Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

For me, Francis isn't one to plan; I think he's just going with the flow. Like he has a very spontaneous way of thinking. His main goal, if he had any at all, would be to just have a good time and so I think he tends to focus on what's in front of him at that moment, not what's lying ahead or whatever he's left behind.

BUT if I had to give him more of a tangible goal, I'd say maybe it was to have great sex and lots of it lol.

Alasdair, though, he's just trying to survive. Like Francis, I don't think he has a plan either but not because he's all like "YOLO!" But because he's just trying to survive. His goal is just to get through another day of this miserable life. (Until he meets Francis and then it's like to write a novel or sth)

28: Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

They're each other's best friend 🥺💖 but apart from that lol I think Arthur is Francis' best friend and worst enemy (of course).

As for Alasdair, I think he'd be closest with Wales (I don't have a human name for him but I kinda like Dylan, or Ianto BC that's just such a cute name). They have completely different personalities which I think compliment each other well. Dylan is the only brother that Alasdair can really talk to without fear or ridicule when it comes to sensitive or personal stuff. He probably doesn't tell him half as much as he should, but I think he really loves Dylan a lot.

[catilinas]

hey you're the girard-knower so i figured i'd ask: is there any actual mimesis in the terror or is it just "hickey wants mimesis but he doesnt have the juice"

oh there’s totally Actual Mimesis and my personal take that hickey is a guy who just really Gets how mimetic rivalries work is very much secondary to just. the whole plot. being a mimetic crisis. here’s a post on That from holy shit 2019 my Thots have probably developed since then! but overviews nice. 

but yea outside of the General Vibe Of Mimetic Crisis. hickey also does “want mimesis” @ crozier he’s like. we COULD be brothers francis. we could vibe. an imitative relationship is There (mostly hickey imitating crozier but also. crozier Does inadvertently imitate hickey via kidnapping plans / Connecting The Dots / sober descent into that which resembles the grave but isn’t) before they leave the ships, and hickey thinks they could maybe be ritual substitutes in a fun power sharing maybe gay way.  but crozier is like who the fuck are you. because he really does Not want to acknowledge that He Is A Potential Model For Imitation. thinking about the bit in violence and the sacred where girard says that when a person’s vibe is “imitate me!” the vibe is simultaneously “don’t imitate me!” which actually means hashtag “do not appropriate my object!” and how crozier is saying Do Not Imitate Me very hard to avoid having to admit that he Can be imitated. 

because the “object” he doesn’t want potential imitators to appropriate IS like. his status as scapegoatable. like early episodes crozier is kinda strangely attached to making himself miserable and distant and hard to love? like in the dinner party scene. he is very much Not a model there. even his own lieutenants are involved in the fitzjames appreciation club. and crozier plays into his own exclusion from that with the birdshit island joke!!! or when he volunteers to sacrifice himself lead the mutinous sledge party. he doesn’t want anyone else to do it because he’s weirdly protective over his own scapegoat status. (important but i think this changes after franklin dies because crozier realises that him Being In Charge means he really Really can’t be the scapegoat. he’s the sacred king now and it’s time to find his double in the fool). 

so while crozier is going Do Not Appropriate My Scapegoatiness the version of hickey he sees (pretending to be irish, Out Of Place and so scapegoatable) IS uncomfortably similar to Him. which is why the convo in ep2 Doesn’t have the significance hickey attaches to it. crozier doesn’t just Not See Him At All, he’s like actively looking away. then around episode 4 when hickey starts Actively developing their mimetic relationship crozier lashes out (haha) and reinscribes Difference (particularly in hierarchy) physically onto hickey’s body via the lashing because a) he doesn’t want hickey to be similar to him / doesn’t want to see himself as a model, and b) he doesn’t want himSelf to be similar to hickey, because now that he’s In Charge he can’t! be a scapegoat figure it would be very bad for everyone if that happened. and hickey is very clearly Taking That Role. so crozier pushes him Further into the scapegoat role but by being the one to Do the pushing he’s like. nope not me! no scapegoat here! 0/10 would not sacrifice!

idk where im going with this tbh i am procrastinating writing my essay on pliny :) but i do think it’s interesting that hickey kidnapping crozier near the end puts crozier in a similar position towards hickey’s authority as hickey was towards crozier for most of the show. like if crozier won’t actively Do Mimesis with hickey, hickey will put crozier in a situation that Makes their relationship mimetic just by reversing the earlier mimetic power dynamic. 

ok pliny time for real now. bye

[trashballerina]

Hetalia Fics I Really Like

this  ⭐ will be for fics I really like. I’ll try not to star everything.

I’m starting with my favorite of all time and tbh I think the fandom should see this fic as a OG, like Auf Weiderstein Sweetheart or Gutters, I really do.

Are We Even Humans  ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ (Literally all the stars)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4103344

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5660761/chapters/25048773 (prequel)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7036330/chapters/16007758 (sequel)

The war is over, but putting together everything that fell apart will be a greater challenge than anyone is prepared to handle. Alliances dissolve, and the lines between friends and enemies are blurrier than ever before.

Opinion: Please read it. It is a series with a sequel and a prequel that can be read on its own but it’s so good. Imma go on a quick rant here. This fic is great from the writing, plot, characters, and the nuances of nationhood abilities. I literally rioted during the first chapter because it was so good. One of my absolutely favorite things in the fic and the series as a whole is Prussia. Kingdom of Prussia, German Democratic Republic, Gilbert Beilschmidt. His character progression and seeing him through the series as a whole is astounding. I was literally left shaken at the end of this series and I’ve read it twice. The OC’s are usually the antagonists, but hot damn, they are memorable OC’s who are great (terrible?) villains. And the family dynamics! The family dynamics are enough of a reason to read it by itself and the romances. Omg I love this fic so much. Main takeaways: astounding characterization, amazing plot, will cry, long read, and a reality check on what it means to be a nation.

Would it be too much if I did a separate post on how much I love this series and an in depth analysis? (I feel like such a nerd omg)

Hard Times Passing 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23516458/chapters/56397817

Alfred is homeless during the Great Depression and in his wanderings he's charged with the task of caring for a small orphaned Taiwan. AU-Human names used, Taiwan is a child.

Opinion: So incredibly heart warming. It’s well written and I love the dialogue so much. Also, the little cameos from other characters are an absolute delight. It’s a it short, but so wholesome.

Flowers Don’t Grow on Battlefields  ⭐

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14153106/chapters/32619954

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16898919/chapters/39697068 (sequel)

As war tightens its hold on the nations of the world, new alliances are formed. Nobody will escape the war unscathed. Italy only hopes that this time, he will find a way to save those he holds dearest.

Opinion: I realllly like this fic. Maybe I’m a bit bias because I remember reading it from like to third chapter and watching it get updated till the end, but this is really good. Cute gerita, great characterization, good plot, and some lines just really make me melt. And the fluff omg. There’s a sequel that’s linked under too that I may like more than the first. 

Who Knew (One Shot)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23516695#main

“The last time the two of them had any sort of contact was when Gilbert sent the letter to Matthew before the first war started.

That was twenty-six years ago. Twenty-six years Matthew had not seen Gilbert. Twenty-six years of Matthew worrying about if his fiancé was alive or not. Twenty-six years of Matthew thinking about all the horrible things that could be happening to Gilbert. Twenty-six years of Matthew wishing he could just see Gilbert, even if it were just for a second. Twenty-six years of pure hell for Matthew. Twenty-six years of being all alone.”

Matthew Williams, the personification of Canada, never thought that he would fall in love, but he did. He fell in love with Gilbert Beilschmidt, the personification of Prussia, but their romance would have to be cut short with the up coming war that was soon approaching them.

Opinion: My god my heart. Matthew had great characterization. Like amazingly so. 10/10 somber and melodic tones throughout the story. Good tension. And again, my heart. 

TELL ME A PIECE OF YOUR HISTORY  ⭐

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3741175/chapters/8294941#workskin

An account of the media reactions to the reveal of Nations (anthropomorphic national embodiments) with scholarly commentary.

Heavily inspired by: United States v. Barnes, 617 F. Supp. 2d 143 (D.D.C. 2015) [fallingvoices, radialarch] with mixed genres.

Opinion: It’s really cool. It’s told through media, like email, twitter, texts, online magazines, subtitles of videos (not actual videos tho). I love the outside view point of the world on nations and how some people really like them and how others absolutely despise their very existence. One of the main things that sticks out the me is the in depth analysis other humans or posters do on the nations and people even interview the nations, chapter eight is like my favorite for that reason, or how some humans just gush about the nations on so media like how half the fandom does lol. It’s really good. Super creative, great insight on how to world sees the nations, and honestly a great read.

Red Winter (One shot and crossover!)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/909492

The Winter Soldier's new target: a Russian politician named Ivan Braginsky.

Things don't go as planned.

Opinion: Literally so cool. Like nations are total BS to outsiders, especially assassins. I was loosing it during this fic because from Bucky’s POV nations are something else. The writing is really solid and the author uses italics to highlight an action sound or word and even single-word thoughts. The fight scene is really entertaining but also it flows fantastically. 

In Costa Rica (Oneshot)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18614041

“You have this backwards,” McLaughlin said. “Everything. You have it all backwards.” He was a lithe man, looked to be in his mid-thirties. Schnabel leaned back in his chair. Outside, the afternoon rain started, and the frogs momentarily fell silent. “They are dangerous, aren’t they?” Two men discuss the nations and history.

Opinion: No actual nations appear in this fic. It’s just two men talking about the nations and it’s really interesting to see them humor and take seriously the idea of nations. They both discuss what they already know about the nations and theorize. Also hearing an outside perspective and how the nations effect the word around them is golden. I give this fic a big ol’ chef’s kiss. 

Finally, I’ll Just Miss You! (Oneshot)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15553608

Countries will be abolished tomorrow. For the first time, they breathe and realize this might be their last breath and they’ll never wake up again. They want to wake up, they want to go to sleep, the land will still be there when they’re gone. But they breathe, it won’t be the same- for once, they feel human.

Opinion: Bro, I swear I’m not crying. This one is short but really bittersweet and my heart really hurts. I like the snippets of insight on the characters. 

Diamond in the Rough  ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12872642/1/

The year is 1952, the last full year of Joseph Stalin's rule over the Soviet Union. After an incident with Latvia, Estonia is determined to find out what Russia did to him. And so unfolds a chain of events that would lead the Baltic States to tears, to forgiveness, to unexpected courage and horrifying discoveries about the mysterious past of Gilbert Beilschmidt. See AN for rating.

Opinion: This just be a legitimate book. I have honestly read this one like three time and every time I read it I am absolutely elated to discover another detail or action I missed. It is a longer read but I think it is absolutely worth it. For one, the characterization is beautiful. Maybe I might be bias because I stan and love the Baltics, but how they are written compared to the many other fics I’ve read on them is phenomenal. While the author does take some creative liberties and deviates from canon a little, like the Baltics actually considering themselves to be brothers, I really enjoy the changes. ALSO, the history and research and on this fic is genuinely impressive. To think fic authors do this shit for fun and pour so much of their passion into a piece of writing. Secondly, while Russia may be an antagonist in this story, I honestly think it is just. His mentality, backstory, and current predicament explain his behavior and make him a justifiable antagonist. I highly recommend this one. 

Adieux (Oneshot)

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6700886/1/

What happens to nations after they cease to exist? Do they simply disappear or do they get a second chance? It wasn't a subject Francis was particularly keen on finding out about...but at the same time, it wasn't something he could just ignore. One-shot

Opinion: I hate this fic because I love it way too much. I might of cried a little bit and I instantly melt of Francis and Matthew. 

In Our Solemn Hour (incomplete) ⭐

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8975529/30/In-Our-Solemn-Hour

The time was World War II, at the dawn of a global conflict like nothing any of the Nations had ever seen before. Nothing could've prepared them for what lay ahead: a war more total and radical than anything they could ever have imagined. This wasn't just business as usual; it was centuries' worth of pent-up emotions all coming into play at once. This was indeed their darkest hour.

Opinion: Characterization is on point. One part of this fic I remember very well during a fight to the death, Finland mutters a little “Oh dear”. The characters retain some of the qualities that make them silly in Hetalia but because this is another take on it it does get darker. I think Germany’s portrayal is my favorite because he does cruel and unnesscary things and questions it because its not his usal nature. The author notes are super insightful and sometimes funny; it really adds to the rest of the story. I might revisit this post to make a more in depth opinion on it because I don’t remember it all to well when I know I really like this one.

So that was my post lol. I’ll probably make more on other fandoms later tbh or I’ll just make a part two. If you end up reading about any of these posts, please feel free to tell me about them! I love talking about fics and reading in general. Thanks for reading!

[thecoleopterawithana]

Hello! I really adore your blog and all the work you put into it! It's well appriciated. Anyways, a real question - how do you feel about Paul and Jane's relationship? Because it confuses me on so many levels. I find it very hard to believe she didn't know about his many affairs while they were together, yet the public reason for their break up is his adultery with Francie who denied that (I mean who even reported that?). 1/3

The other thing that confuses me is the fact that he was writing basically break up songs (but I didn’t register a lot of love there tbh) back in 66 and they somehow managed to last until 68, even though they totally didn’t give the impression of a good match (her ambition and his desire for housewife/bachelor life) nor did they seem as if they loved each other very much (at least publically).

The last part of the question, are you aware of a love song he wrote for her? I know some people think Here There and Everywhere but her brother apparently disagrees. Anyways, these are just my feelings and idk if I am not under a wrong impression here or something. I also don’t want it to sound like I am theoretizing here about it being a cover up for mclennon - because I am not! I think of it more as a publicity stunt for publicity…

…(even though I think it evolved into that over the course of time and it began more like Paul showing off with this pretty actress he managed to woo). What do you think? Thank you for your answer and sorry for the lenght, haha! R. 😎

Hey there! Thank you so much for the ask and a million apologies for taking so long to answer! It’s just that I had no opinion to speak of, at the time. 

I was just beginning to attempt getting a grasp on Paul– and to better comprehend my main interest of Lennon/McCartney– and hadn’t branched into the other people in his life yet. But to reach a true understanding, it is crucial to look at the full picture; and Jane was very much part of that picture, during a long and formative time!

Now, I must warn you that I’m nowhere near a Jane Asher connoisseur! This post comes with the disclaimer that I don’t feel adequately informed to answer it. But you asked, and it has been sitting in my inbox long enough, so… take my personal opinions for what they (always) are: honest (but probably flawed) attempts at understanding the emotional workings of human beings, based on the information available to me at the time. 

But because I feel like there is more information out there that I just didn’t find in the targeted research for this post, I urge more knowledgeable fans to give their contributions and/or correct me if I make some factual mistake. 

So, disclaimer given, here’s the actual answer:

I understand and empathize with your confusion regarding their relationship. I think it’s just a feeling that arises from the lack of information. After all, theirs was a relationship under intense public scrutiny from the very beginning, but whose actual inner workings were kept – through the effort of both parties – determinately private and personal. That’s always how Paul prefered it. And, effectively demonstrated by her resolute silence since, so has Jane. 

The main feeling I get from Paul and Jane is that they were both incredibly similar people, who also had somewhat separate interests. And this seems to have been both what attracted them to one another, and what eventually made them grow apart. 

Both of them were very socially adept; “good mixers”. Brian Sommerville (the Beatles’ publicity manager from 1963-1964) describes Jane as “a very sweet, extroverted girl [��] bright, very conversational and full of fun”. This kind of sounds like Paul at his most gregarious. 

They were incredibly intelligent. And if Jane was cultured and knowledgeable, Paul was intensely curious, and soon became cultured and knowledgeable himself. And Paul himself openly admits that he was always attracted to “intelligent and talented people”. 

And we must acknowledge that the Asher’s lifestyle as a whole was something that captivated Paul (enough to have him literally move in with them as soon as he could). It had been instilled into him from early on, after all, this great appreciation for education and the drive to do better and rise out of his circumstances. 

[My parents] aspired to a better life. That idea that we had to get out of here, we had to do better than this. This was okay for everyone else in the street but we could do better than this. She was always moving to what she saw as a better place to bring her kids up.

[…]

My parents aspired for us, very much indeed. That is one of the great things you can find in ordinary people. My mum wanted me to be a doctor. ‘My son the doctor’ - and her being a nurse, too. No problem there. And my dad, who left school at fourteen, would have loved me to be a great scientist, a great university graduate. I always feel grateful for that. I mean, God, I certainly fulfilled their aspirations, talk about overachieving! That was all bred into me, that.

— Paul McCartney, in Barry Miles’ Many Years From Now (1997).

People call Paul a “social climber” to demean him; and because the term is used to attack him, others defend him by saying his relationship with Jane had nothing to do with social climbing. But I don’t think this should be derogatory in the first place! 

Paul was ambitious; he did want to gain a higher social status. Not because he felt that made him inherently better than others; he’d just been raised to feel a sense of responsibility for being the best that he could be, and not live in poverty anymore! And what’s wrong with that, I’d like to know? 

All the Beatles wanted success, fame and status, so all of them were social climbers, in a sense. 

So what if one of the things that attracted Paul to Jane was that she was educated and cultured? It seems like a perfectly valid reason to be genuinely into someone to me.

Of course, both of them were beautiful. As Tony Barrow (the Beatles’ press officer) put it: “There was something about seeing them together that was magical. With those two gorgeous faces and all that incredible charisma, they looked like a couple of Greek gods.”  So the physical attraction was also obviously there.

And I don’t doubt that Paul was proud to have such a beautiful, talented and interesting person as a girlfriend, and might have felt like showing her off to friends. But I don’t think that lessens how enamoured they were with one another. If the whole relationship was being performed for outwards appreciation, I feel like there’d be a lot more performing going on. Instead, they never revealed more than they needed to, nor did they stop living to hide from the public eye. 

If there publicity strategies to it, they never came from Brian Epstein himself, who actually thought that the Beatles having girlfriends was a marketing mistake:

There was a considerable difference of opinion over the Jane Asher situation. Brian made a terrible fuss about it, saying that it would offend the fans. But, in effect, Paul just told him to mind his own business. Brian was probably just being over-cautious, and Paul more far-sighted, knowing that that sort of thing didn’t matter. But at the time it was a textbook rule of publicity that the artist must appear single and available.

— Brian Sommerville, in Chris Salewicz’s McCartney (1986).   

So the relationship wasn’t arranged as a publicity stunt. I feel like everything points to them just genuinely liking each other. 

(And now just an honest question to those of you who’ve been longer in the fandom: is George’s relationship with Pattie Boyd also suspected to be a publicity stunt? Because I don’t know if this has just escaped my notice, or if this claim is something that afflicts only Paul and Jane specifically. And if so, why do you think that is?)

But going back to their similarities, both Jane and Paul were incredibly independent, self-assured and work-oriented. And I think it was the clash of their strong personalities that actually caused the bumps in the relationship. 

Paul likes to be in control of himself and to some extent the environment around him. And he’d grown up in a society where it was acceptable for that to extend to his girlfriends. 

John and I lusted after Brigitte Bardot in our teen yearsand tried to make our girlfriends look like her. […] I had a girlfriend called Dot, Dorothy Rohne, who was my steady girlfriend forquite a long time in Liverpool. She and John’s girlfriend, later wife, CynthiaPowell, came over to Hamburg and I remember buying her a leather skirt andencouraging her to grow her hair long so she’d look like Brigitte.

— Paul McCartney, in Barry Miles’ Many Years From Now (1997). 

Jane, of course, wasn’t willing to be moulded so easily.

That’s typical Paul [wanting me to stay inside the George V Hotel with the band instead of going out by myself to see Paris]. It’s just so silly of me to stay at the hotel. It’s just that he’s so insecure. For instance, he keeps saying he’s not interested in the future, but he must be because he says it so often. The trouble is, he wants the fans’ adulation and mine too. He’s so selfish, it’s his biggest fault. He can’t see that my feelings for him are real and that the fans’ are fantasy. Of course, it’s the trouble with all boys.

—Jane Asher, c/o Michael Braun, Love Me Do!: The Beatles’ Progress. (1964)

This little passage shows us Jane’s insights into the “darker” sides of Paul’s character that other’s wouldn’t often see. His insecurities: fear that Jane would betray him, anxieties about the future and his need to be liked. And this level of understanding shows either an incredible perceptiveness and emotional intelligence on Jane’s part, or it is another sign of how close they were and how well they knew each other. 

That Paul was understood like that by another person is extremely important! As he was reported saying after their breakup in 1968: 

Jane wasn’t just my woman, she was my closest friend. I’ve told her everything inside me. She knows what makes me tick down to things that happened as a kid. I went right through all the stuff about my mother dying and how I dealt with that. With Jane, I could just relax completely and be myself and that seemed to be what she wanted. With the other women, I’m a fucking millionaire rock star who just happens to be about as shallow as a puddle.

—in Alistair Taylor’s With the Beatles (2003).

Or just before that, as observed during the extensive interviews for the Beatles’ authorized biography, in 1967:

[Paul’s] life is much quieter and more ordered now. Paul is very communicative about himself, unlike the others. He talks everything over with Jane. She knows what he’s thinking.

— in Hunter Davies’ The Beatles (1968).

And I can’t stress enough how significant it is that Paul was open in such a way! It just shows how much he respected and trusted Jane. 

And I think she also trusted him. With this I don’t mean to say that she trusted him not to sleep around; I don’t believe for a minute she didn’t know about it. And because she doesn’t exactly seem like the kind of person who would endure it if she was actually betrayed and hurt by this, my personal opinion is that this was a given; something known and accepted between them. And probably not just one-way either. They spent long periods apart, after all, and I think both Paul and Jane had agreed between themselves that it was okay to have affairs. I don’t know exactly the specifics of it, or if this was revoked when they got engaged. 

But I don’t think that was the (main) reason the engagement was called off either.

It is clear they enjoyed the other’s company, from the amount of time they spent on outings and holidays alone together. But both also seem rather uncompromising in respects to their personal careers, and that probably lead to clashes. During 1965 they spend a lot of time apart when Jane pursues her acting career in Bristol Old Vic company.

My whole existence for so long centred around a bachelor life. I didn’t treat women as most people do. I’ve always had a lot around, even when I’ve had a steady girl. My life generally has always been very lax, and not normal.

I knew it was selfish. It caused a few rows. Jane left me once and went off to Bristol to act. I said OK then, leave, I’ll find someone else. It was shattering to be without her.

— Paul McCartney, in Hunter Davies’ The Beatles (1968).

Paul’s frustrations were exercised through ‘We Can Work It Out’ and ‘I’m Looking Through You’:

I wrote quite a lot of stuff up in that room actually [in Jane Asher’s family home]. I’m Looking Through You I seem to remember after an argument with Jane. There were a few of those moments. […]

As is one’s wont in relationships, you will from time to time argue or not see eye to eye on things, and a couple of the songs around this period were that kind of thing. This one I remember particularly as me being disillusioned over her commitment. She went down to the Bristol Old Vic quite a lot around this time. Suffice to say that this one was probably related to that romantic episode and I was seeing through her façade. And realising that it wasn’t quite all that it seemed. I would write it out in a song and then I’ve got rid of the emotion. I don’t hold grudges so that gets rid of that little bit of emotional baggage. I remember specifically this one being about that, getting rid of some emotional baggage. ‘I’m looking through you, and you’re not there!’

— Paul McCartney, in Barry Miles’ Many Years From Now (1997).

You’re thinking of me the same old wayYou were above me, but not todayThe only difference is you’re down thereI’m looking through you and you’re nowhere

Why, tell me why, did you not treat me right? Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight

I’m looking through you, where did you go I thought I knew you, what did I know You don’t look different, but you have changedI’m looking through you, you’re not the same

Paul was especially shaken by this episode when it became apparent that she might actually leave him for her other boyfriend:

I remember more one time when she was working at the Bristol Old Vic and she’d got a boyfriend in Bristol and was going to leave me for him. That was wildly traumatic, that was ‘Uhhhh!’ Total rejection!

— Paul McCartney, in Barry Miles’ Many Years From Now (1997).

So to lead a better life, Paul needs his love to be here, but Jane was pursuing her own dreams:

Jane loved acting and Jane loved Paul, but she wasn’t about to give one up for the other. […] Of all the plum roles that had come her way, the Subservient Beatles Woman was the only one Jane Asher refused to play. […] She had too much going for her to take a backseat to anyone, much less her mate. From the beginning, Paul had a hard time keeping up with her. Jane’s diary, which she lived by, was a clutter of fascinating appointments and social commitments. “I was amazed by the diary,” Paul admitted. “I’ve never known people who stuffed so much into a day.” There were auditions, meetings with television and movie producers, vocal lessons, acting classes, fittings, gallery debuts, screenings, recitals, opening nights. […] “Paul was clearly in awe of her,” says Peter Brown. 

— in Bob Spitz’s The Beatles: The Biography (2005).

And though they both loved culture and the swinging London scene, Jane wasn’t into all the drugs or the rock-n’-roll world. So when they moved together to Cavendish in March 1966, their slightly different social circles often didn’t mix well.

At Wimpole Street, he and Jane had kept their social lives mainly separate. At Cavendish, she naturally wanted to entertain her theatre friends, and the mix of luvvies and rockers could sometimes be awkward. One evening when she had some fellow actors to dinner, Paul arrived home with John, who–whether the result of drink or pot or just plain Lennonness–was at his most maliciously provocative. When one of the actresses at the table nervously requested an ashtray, he knelt beside her and facetiously offered one of his nostrils for the purpose. Jane, with her usual sangfroid, simply extended a foot and pushed him over.

— in Phillip Norman’s Paul McCartney: The Biography (2016).

On this same month, during a skiing holiday in Switzerland, Paul writes ‘For No One’.

It was very nice and I remember writing 'For No One’ there.I suspect it was about another argument. I don’t have easy relationships withwomen, I never have. I talk too much truth.

— Paul McCartney, in Barry Miles’ Many Years From Now (1997).

It’s interesting to me that Paul’s problem in his relationship with women is “talking too much truth”. But by the lyrics in the song, we see that once again Paul is struggling with Jane’s self-reliance and her perceived lack-of-interest for him (which I also find endlessly ironic):

She wakes up, she makes upShe takes her time and doesn’t feel she has to hurryShe no longer needs you

You want her, you need herAnd yet you don’t believe her when she says her love is deadYou think she needs you

You stay home, she goes outShe says that long ago she knew someone but now he’s goneShe doesn’t need him

Your day breaks, your mind achesThere will be times when all the things she said will fill your headYou won’t forget her

And in her eyes you see nothingNo sign of love behind the tearsCried for no oneA love that should have lasted years!

The next big separation comes in 1967, when Jane goes on a tour of the US for the first five months of the year. This was, of course, a time of tectonic changes within the Beatles and in Paul’s life. 

When I came back after five months, Paul had changed so much. He was on LSD which I hadn’t shared. I was jealous of the spiritual experiences he’d had with John.

—Jane Asher, in Hunter Davies’ The Beatles (1968).

It must have been extremely disorientating to come back to the tripping, summer-of-love, looking-for-the-Meaning Paul. But to their credit, they did try to get to know one another again; reconnect:

On Jane’s return from America, she and Paul made a last-ditch stand to consolidate their relationship. Jane, unusually, even accompanied Paul to a recording session on 20 July 1967 […] Two days after the session, Jane accompanied Paul to Greece with the other Beatles. In August Jane was with him on the trip to Bangor to be initiated by the Maharishi, and during the difficult days following Brian’s death she was clearly a great source of strength and comfort to him; someone familiar and safe he could trust and confide in; someone with all the attributes of a wife. They spent the first three weeks of December alone together in Paul’s remote Scottish farm­house and four days later, on Christmas Day, 1967, they announced to Paul’s family - perhaps slightly to their own surprise - their engagement.

— in Barry Miles’ Many Years From Now (1997).

Jane and Paul make a very loving and lovely couple. Everyone agrees on this. […] Paul and Jane have more time together, on their own, than probably the other Beatle couples. They do get away together, to places like their Scottish home, thanks to Jane. They were the first to want to move to the country for good, to a quieter smaller house, which John and George now also want to do.

—in Hunter Davies’ The Beatles (1968).

When they got engaged, on Christmas Day 1967, all these problems were in the past. Maharishi, for a long time, was the only little point of difference, although it was all amicable. Jane didn’t fall for him when the others did, although she understood the attraction. She would obviously have preferred to try to reach a spiritual state on their own. Paul wasn’t as committed as George and John when he went with Jane to India in 1968, but he felt there was something there that would help him, that might answer his questions. So Jane agreed to go with him. 

— in Hunter Davies’ The Beatles (1968).

Suffice it to say, Paul didn’t get his answers. In fact, the reality he knew was about to crumble.

The summer of 1968 was a horrible storm of drugs, anxiety and heartbreak, where he had to take care of this budding enterprise while managing a band and losing both his partners. And I think Alistair Taylor’s descriptions of a completely wrecked Paul reflect all of that. 

It’s curious then how Paul recalls his reaction to the calling off of the engagement later:

I don’t remember [his and Jane’s eventual] breakup as being traumatic, really. I remember more one time when she was working at the Bristol Old Vic and she’d got a boyfriend in Bristol and was going to leave me for him. That was wildly traumatic, that was ‘Uhhhh!’ Total rejection! We got back together again but I had already gone through that when we eventually split up. It seemed it had to happen. It felt right.

— Paul McCartney, in Barry Miles’ Many Years From Now (1997).

They were eventually both at peace with the decision. Paul has expressed that he had an intuitive unconscious reticence over actually marrying Jane. And Jane herself had felt that they’d grown too much and apart as people. She surmises: 

“And I had four [wonderful years].

“No, it wasn’t love at first sight on my side. It was several months before I felt at all certain. And of course, I was young. Only seventeen. Inevitably, one changes. After all, Paul himself was only twenty when we met.

“I knew in my bones that the break must inevitably come a long time before it actually happened. Although we had this emotional thing for each other, we found it difficult to be really happy together.”

I remembered, then, the character in another play who had cried: “I am not offering you happiness, but love.” And I remembered, too, how that great J. L. Garvin had once told me when I was Jane’s age: “Everything in life makes either for happiness or experience.”

“And sometimes the experience is more important,” I suggested now.

She nodded as she got up to go.

“I long to improve as an actress and I hope what’s happened to me will make me understand more fully the characters I am asked to play. Anyway, I promise you, I wouldn’t not have had it happen. I mean, I am very, very grateful for those four years. And I am not going to look back in bitterness or anger, but only forward.

“People are such bores who make a drama out of their lost loves. In every case someone has to fall out of love first.”

—Jane Asher, interview w/ Godfrey Winn for The Australian Women’s Weekly: Girl with a broken love affair. (April 23rd, 1969)

So here’s my overview of Paul and Jane. 

I feel like their relationship was very genuine and organic, so much so that they eventually grew in different directions. But they were nevertheless very important and formative figures in each other’s lives. 

And it was personally very interesting for me to see this side of Paul too, the one whose needs are left unmet by a driven, work-oriented, independent partner, and how he reacted to that. 

Jane herself is an awesome woman in her own right, and I loved this chance to get to know her a little better.

As for love songs written from Paul to Jane, I would ask for the help of more well-informed fans! I’m sure many of the feelings expressed in his love songs were also inspired in part by his experiences with Jane. Is there one particular song out there which has been stated to be about her?