#Bro was doomed from the START. never even had a chance at winning. Which I think applies to his whole character

[tapeworrmart]

Loser 🛁🧩

[liketwoswansinbalance]

I am really curious to see your take on Aric and Japeth's relationship. I mean, the beloved author and creator of the series have addressed this issue with 'in their own sick wicked way they had loved' so yeah it's cannon cool. But I feel like the further implications of this? We saw evil 'unable to love'/ 'only ever have true love'. From what I remember Japeth mentioned Aric more than once, how they would write letters to each other how Aric 'begged' for Japeth to come to him but Japeth never did so and then bro spent the last of his life trying to bring Aric back to life. There are so many implications, the dynamics, the context, everything, but I love how you theorise and explore all sorts of ideas so I can't help but wonder how you view all of this :D.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and have a great day/afternoon/evening/night!

Sorry to disappoint, but I should probably start off with the fact that I don't ship Japeth and Aric. While I like Japeth, partly in thanks to @discjude winning me over, and further recognizing the tragedy surrounding him, his relationship to Aric never canonically does him any favors. And, with Aric, I think I'm apathetic enough towards him that I don't actively hate him; I just don't care about him. In truth, if not for Aladdin's pitiful existence actively hammering on my nerves, Aric would probably be my least favorite character.

The first thing I want to address is that Evil being "unable to love" or "only Evers have True Love" is actually false, despite the many times the series puts forth this claim. Yes, we are explicitly told this "fact" in book 1, but the book's point was to subvert/deconstruct the myth.

First, by the end, with her self-sacrifice, Sophie proved Evil's capacity to love, meaning: Evil being unable to love is just a commonly-held belief in the Woods, not the absolute, be-all, end-all truth.

(And the belief could've been perpetuated by "Rafal's"/Rafal's way of running his institution that literally shapes the Wood's perceptions and the future. Alongside this claim about love, consider the existence of the Doom Room, created to punish a singular mutinous class of first-years, based on a now-revised philosophy about Nevers' learning from harsh treatment and (probably) disproportionate retribution that an excessively stubborn dead man already too entrenched in his old ways never had the chance to change because he died—and this is all aside from the fact proven by the display at the very first Circus of Talents, that Rafal's students did indeed learn better when he finally listened to them and mentored them as an equal in their position (as Fala). In addition, the statement: "Nevers learn from deprivation" similarly reveals how the Woods really do generalize about Nevers—until Sophie, the "exception" and iconoclast, comes along.)

Second, Sophie's non-romantic True Love at some point was said to be Agatha, and I think this established fact is consistently maintained throughout the series, even if other elements overshadow it, so not only Evers can have True Love.

My take on Japeth and Aric is that Japeth's love for Aric, however twisted or sincere it was, drove him to become the Snake, follow along with Rhian's Camelot ambitions and initial staging-terrorism-and-hostage-scenarios plot, and commit all his other, duplicitous, villainous acts throughout TCY, later by his own will, which is a motive I find fascinating (and contradictory about the nature of the Woods' Good and Evil souls, whenever Japeth is set next to the rather grey Rhian).

So, while Japeth's devotion to Aric could be viewed as romantic, it's just not appealing to me, personally, due to the relationship's ambiguous one-sidedness in particular. And, I think I once may've read something about Japeth as a Never fighting for True Love (or his perception of "True Love") and Rhian as an Ever fighting for power (the Nevers' ideal fairy-tale ending) being ironic or inverted in some way. That's also some world-building fodder to consider, or even just another point that could overturn the Rules as we know them, yet again. I'm not surprised by that subversion honestly. Japeth is very much like his parents. Nearly every SGE villain Soman has ever written has been motivated by the pursuit of love, or by the overwhelming force of their own (often obsessive) infatuations (with the exception of somewhat flatter, less-developed, secondary villains, like Aric, Vulcan, Marialena, and Peter Pan).

Also, thanks for the compliment!

[wutheringmights]

Can I be greedy and ask for all of the boys ? And any characters you have strong opinions on? Pretty please? With lots of cherries and chocolate on top? ( for the ask meme ofc)

Anon, I'll finish up all of the boys in the Chain just for you. And trust me, I have an Infinite Amount of Strong Opinions. You have no idea how Opinionated I Am.

If anyone is coming in late to this, here are the boys I have done already and a short summary of my thoughts (click the hyperlinks to get the full Opinion):

Warriors: he's best when he's the trashy anti-Link, and I like him so much

Twilight: kind of boring, but I have a soft spot for him anyway because you never forget your first

Wind: should have been aged up a little so that he can have that identity crisis I'm craving

This... gets long. Really long. 3-hours-of-work-long. Before you read, please note that even when I speak negatively about something, it’s not to diss anyone who does like the thing. I’m not vague posting or being passive aggressive. This is all written in good humor and good faith. 

That being said, let’s a-go!

-Sky-

What I love about them: He has one of the best character arcs of all the Links. I love that he starts off being lazy and kind of a jerk, but grows as a person because he wants to save his friend. And I love that he's truly the most courageous Link. He has no other successful hero of past or legacy to lean back upon to reassure him. He walked into that fight with Demise with no assurance from anyone that he would succeed. Yet, he does it anyway. Because he's a true hero and someone had to be one. And he's rewarded with a curse that he does not initially take seriously. He thinks he's saved everyone, yet he's cursed his spirit, possibly his bloodline, and his entire legacy of the kingdom of Hyrule into a doomed cycle of destruction. All because he dared to face evil incarnate. I love him.

What I hate about them: You know how I called Twilight boring? I should have saved that critique for Sky. LU Sky is actually the most boring interpretation of his character. All of his negative traits? Gone. All of his positives? Also gone. He's the blandest version of himself, and like Twilight, I now feel like I gotta add some spice to him to make him more interesting while still keeping him recognizable. Even so, he's still one of my favorite Links.

Favorite Moment/Quote: When he kicks Twilight's ass at sword fighting. That's stuff is *chef's kiss*

What I would like to see more focus on: You would think that there would be more angst out there about him realizing that he's actually been cursed, but it's still kind of hard to find. He's the Cursed Knight! The beginning of a terrible legacy! Imagine meeting a bunch of heroes for the first time, and instead of being relieved at having someone who understands your experiences, you're filled with horror at realizing that your victory was a false one. You didn't win. Your spirit will never be at rest. Imagine dealing with that realization for the rest of your life. You could never be at peace.

What I would like to see less focus on: I love that he loves his wife, but he's more just the fact that he's married, y'know? I would like to see a little less blind devotion to Hylia and Zelda, and more complicated feelings about being manipulated into being the hero.

Favorite pairing with: Sun/Link/Groose OT3! I have no reasoning behind this other than I like Groose and Groose definitely had a crush on SkSw Link.

Favorite friendship: I won't answer Groose again even if I want to, so I'll say Warriors. I cannot begin to describe how elite this friendship would be if you gave it a chance. They're just two boys dealing with unique positions of leadership and responsibility. They would probably even bond over being shitheads at different ends of the shithead spectrum. It's so good, okay?

NOTP: Ghirahim. I'm not too adverse to this one, but the ship hinges on whether you can redeem Ghirahim or not. In my opinion, Ghirahim is awesome because he's such a fun villain. Redeeming him ruins the fun.

Favorite headcanon: I have a whole life story planned out for Sky. Basically, he lives to be close to 500 years old by the power of the Triforce. He is the Link throughout the Era of Chaos who banishes the Dark Interlopers to the Twilight Realm and seals the Triforce in the Sacred Realm. He actually seals himself in the Sacred Realm as well to keep the Triforce safe, and he fought Ganondorf in when he broke in. Sky, like Time and Wind, does not get a happy ending.

-Four-

What I love about them: Four is origin of the heroes of Hyrule being known for being children. What a legacy to leave behind. He's such an interesting case of an incarnation of the Hero's Spirit, too. He fought Vaati, and he did his job so well that Demise's next incarnation had to be Ganondorf. Four did his job the best out of everyone, and it came at the cost of creating a magic sword that changed him permanently. I like to think that the Four Sword was not meant to split him, that it was a mistake he made with the design. And it's sad, isn't it? You made a defective sword, and like any good sword, it has a symbolic double edge. It gifted you with so much, and yet he can never be the same again. And his story is never well-remembered because it is overshadowed by the Links who fought the King of Evil. He's does so much, yet his legacy is underappreciated.

What I hate about them: I want to prepare you for this Opinion, because I know it's unpopular. Are you ready? Okay. I don't like the Colors. I'm sorry. I want to like them, but they don't interest me at all. Because they are parts of Four’s personality, they have to be one-note archetypes which does not make for exciting storytelling. I also haven't found a fic yet that has been from Four's POV that did the internal monologue of the Colors in a way that wasn't a pain in the ass to read. Maybe if someone can figure out how to do the Colors in a way that doesn't feel like a drag, I would like them more. But in the end, I think Four himself is more interesting than the Colors.

Favorite Moment/Quote: The fact that he didn't want to touch the Master Sword because he doesn't trust magic swords. That is every I need to know about his opinion on his own adventures.

What I would like to see more focus on: I want more of Four as Four. It's getting harder to find content of Four being his own person first and the Colors second.

What I would like to see less focus on: Four being the Colors first and his own person second. There is something about viewing Four as this cover identity for the Colors that doesn't feel right. There's a balance that needs to be strike between his ability to split, how that affects his every day life, and his own identity of being Four. I think I may have read one fic that hit that sweet spot for me, but still.

Favorite pairing with: Shadow. I'm such a sucker for befriending and falling for the enemy. That is all.

Favorite friendship: Dot! Their friendship is super cute. I like the idea of them being super close when they were younger and struggling to keep the friendship going as they age due to how much their paths in life diverge.

NOTP: This isn't necessarily a Four or an LU problem, but people who ship the Colors together? Bro. C'mon.

Favorite headcanon: I'm torn between two different Four and the Master Sword headcanons. On one hand, Four thinking that the Master Sword is just legend until he meets Sky and everyone else is just a fun idea. He sees the legendary sword for the first time and his mind is blown. On the other hand, I also like my Four with a side of hubris. What if he had the option on his quest to draw the Master Sword himself? What if he could tell that if he did that, the consequences would be terrible. He's not sure what would happen, but he knows it would be terrible. So he decided to make his own sword instead to disastrous results. Wouldn't that be tragic or what?

-Time-

What I love about them: Last winter, I did a two hour powerpoint for my friends about the Legend of Zelda timeline. During that powerpoint, I was rating every iteration of Link. What I said about the Hero of Time then holds true to my thoughts of LU Time now. Time is the original Link, more so than Sky in the lore and Legend/Hyrule in real life. Every other hero is a reflection of him. So the fact that his story is about the loss of childhood and the tragedy of that is incredible, and you can see those themes reflected in every other game. Moreso, he’s the only Link with a confirmed tragic ending. Not only does he end his life unsatisfied, but his adventure is failure on every timeline. In the adult timeline, Hyrule is swallowed by the sea. In the child one, Ganondorf returns again. In the fallen timeline, Hyrule fell. I like the idea since that the games themselves are the legends that are past down about each hero, Hylians have also remembered Time as a tragic figure. Yet, they also remember that the happy moments for his life come from small acts of kindness. Even someone as sad as him finds joy in helping others, even if it’s just to small deeds that will not be heralded as grand heroic quests. It’s beautiful.

What I hate about them: This is more about Mask than Time, but Mask is not an adult in a child’s body. He did not rewind time in Termina enough to be considered mentally an adult. He’s a young teenager at best, and that’s me being generous. He is a child who was forced to be an adult and despite the gods being done with him, he cannot conceive of ever having a childhood again. So he can say all he wants that he’s an adult, but he is not. That’s just what he thinks he is.

Favorite Moment/Quote: Anytime we get a flashback to him being a younger adult is great. I want to see more of his in this his early adulthood.

What I would like to see more focus on: I think I just want more of Time being... not a bad leader, but being an imperfect one. I honestly think he’s only the leader because he’s the oldest and enough of the heroes recognize the title of Hero of Time. But he is not the leader type, and he is struggling to keep it together and has to defer to Twilight and Warriors for help a lot. 

What I would like to see less focus on: I’m not the biggest fan of Dad!Time for any of the Links. He’s not emotionally ready for it. And I think he defaults to treating the boys like adults because that’s how he wanted to be treated when he was their age. 

Favorite pairing with: Malon. He has this great partnership of equal respect with her and it’s just. So good.

Favorite friendship: Linebeck. I know. This exists only in my head. But if these two ever meet, you cannot convince me that they would not get along swimmingly. It would be so good (once Linebeck gets over his crush on Time and stops hitting on him, of course).

NOTP: Child Timeline Zelda. Let me explain: I fully believe in Bi Time supremacy, and when in OoT, he definitely had a crush on Sheik. However, one of the worst parts of rewinding time and being in the child timeline is that Zelda is a completely different person now. They may have been friends in the other timeline, but her life experiences are completely different now. She is not the same person as he once knew. And it’s tragic to know someone as who they could have been, not as they are.

Favorite headcanon: After Termina, Time spent a lot of time with the Nabooru because out of everyone he knew, she’s the only who took him seriously even as a child. She has big older sister energy, and he considers her a part of his family. However, being treated as such made it easier for him to ignore his issues and put off his healing process by a few years.

-Legend-

What I love about them: Veteran of Heroes! What a freaking title. I love that he keeps on finding adventures, and that he keeps hustling. Even if he complains about never getting a break, you can tell that he loves helping others. He loves being on the road, never settling down, and finding adventure after adventure. Honestly, if any of the Links had a calling to be a hero, it’s him. Is he tired? Sure. Is he a little jaded after having saved Hyrule and a bunch of other kingdoms multiple times? Yes. But at the end of the day, he likes being a hero. This is who he is. His complaining is not genuine; he just plays the martyr because, at this point, he’s earned the right to.

What I hate about them: If you can’t tell by now, I have a, uh, different interpretation of Legend from popular canon. Fandom Legend is not right to me. He is unrecognizable. It is hard to write him because I feel like I have to balance what other people think Legend should be versus how I think he is. The people who are big Legend enjoyers probably feel the same way about my version of Warriors, and that’s fine. I’m not going to gel with every character and I don’t expect everyone to gel with how I see characters either. It’s goes both ways, y’know.

Favorite Moment/Quote: I like how subtly he tried to approach the Wolfie problem at first, trying to ask questions and get more proof before confronting Twilight. It’s a good touch.

What I would like to see more focus on: If I had to choose one thing, it’s this one throw away line about him never wanting to settle down. I’m telling you, folks! He likes his lifestyle! And did you see him when he does presenting the origins of the hero? He’s not bitter about being a hero! Legend is moody, but he is not angsty about the whole hero thing. Have fun with him please!

What I would like to see less focus on: If you can’t tell by now, Legend is my least favorite Link. There is a lot I want to see less of, but just to name one thing, it’s the headcanon that Fable is his sister. I live and die by common born Link, and whether he’s a legitimate heir or the royal bastard, I am more than bored with the persistent Prince!Legend content.

Favorite pairing with: Marin. It’s a good tragic story and I like it well enough. She’s cute, and he’s cute with her.

Favorite friendship: Warriors. I’m with everyone else on these two have peak sibling energy. They tease and pick on each other, but only they are allowed to mess with each other. They’re each other’s bully, and it’s always good to see.

NOTP: I do not have enough energy to have a lot of strong opinions about Legend’s romantic relationships, but I will mentioned that I have lost a lot of love for Ravio recently and am liking seeing him with Legend less and less. I have no better reason for this than the fact that I finally played ALBW and hate how many of my hard earned rupees he’s taken from me by withholding important, lifesaving items. Rat bastard.

Favorite headcanon: Remember my headcanon about him being the coolest bad boy folk hero on the block because everyone thinks he kidnapped Zelda? Yeah, I still stand by that one. I did good there.

-Hyrule-

What I love about them: If there is any Link that I would call a gutter rat, it is this one. I struggle a bit to talk about Hyrule since his games gives us so little, but in the end, I always fall back on him being a hero of the people. He is the one who has nothing and relates the best to people who are at their lowest. Yet, he is still a hero. He earns the right to be a hero because he helped Impa in her time of need. He’s selfless and competent. Even if he never got a traditional education, I bet he’s wicked smart too. He is the Link that symbolizes all of the parts of the Triforce the most. And, god. I cannot talk about him without mentioning the blood sacrifice part of LA. It’s such a cool concept, and I cannot imagine what it must be like to go from being the rough and tumble, win-at-all-costs fighting to protecting yourself first because if you don’t, the consequences are disastrous. It’s paradoxical, and it must be such a different mindset to fall into. But it must also be a blessing in disguise since now he has a reason to finally care about himself.

What I hate about them: Who started the Hyrule is innocent headcanon? Come over here because we need to exchange some words. If there is anyone who would be a realist and know how the world works, it’s this guy. And while we’re here, who came up with the Hryule is always lost headcanon? I also have some words for you. And you know what? WHILE WE’RE HERE, who let him be named Hyrule? I’m have more than choice words for you. His name scheme is the bane of my existence and the express reason why I don’t write him more. God.

Favorite Moment/Quote: That one panel where he takes utter delight in Warriors hiding from his scorned lovers? That is a central pillar in my understanding of Hyrule.

What I would like to see more focus on: Again, his relationship with other people. Even if his games are lacking in NPCs, we know from lore that he’s a good guy who will jump in to help others. He must know plenty of people, and I want to see who exists in his world with him. 

What I would like to see less focus on: I have an on-going joke with my brother that certain characters are Catholic, even if Catholicism does not exist in the world of the thing we’re watching or playing. Of course, we’re not being serious. we’re just joshing around. So imagine the gut punch I feel whenever I see people say Hyrule is Christian and realize that they’re being serious. I just can’t take it seriously.

Favorite pairing with: Aurora. It’s cute and I’m a sucker for that hero and royalty dynamic, especially when the hero is a peasant. It’s so cheesy, but I love it.

Favorite friendship: Legend. But not the way everyone else pairs them up as the grumpy one and the sunshine one. I think of it more as them being the pinnacle of boys being boys. They’re shitheads. They do stupid shit together. They both have a dark sense of humor. They joke that they’re practically the same person sometimes.

NOTP: uhhhhhhhhh.... Is he paired with anyone else?

Favorite headcanon: I love the idea that he just likes his way of life and refuses to accept anyone saying otherwise. Legend wants to teach him to read? Sorry, but he’s never had to read before in his life so he’s pretty sure he’ll never need it anyway. Want to participate in the treasured Hylian tradition of piercing your ears when you come of age? Why would he ever do that when a monster could rip those earrings off? He’s stuck in his ways and it frustrates everyone else to no end, but he has no interest in ever changing.

-Wild-

What I love about them: When I was 9, I spent my time online on Legend of Zelda forums. I remember one of my forum friends saying that they wanted a Legend of Zelda game where Link lost. And I think of that friend whenever I think about Wild. BOTW Link is the best Link that has ever been. He is the epitome of every trait we associate with any Link. He’s smart and sassy. He’s hard working and kind. But underlining all of that is the fact that he’s still the one who failed. If Demise’s Curse in SkSw is the set-up, the Great Calamity is the payoff. And I haven’t even talked about how confirming him as being non-verbal before the Calamity does so much for his characterization. I don’t even know where to start or how to articulate it. By game storyline alone, Wild is one of my favorites.

What I hate about them: You guys knew this one was coming, but I’m going to have to say it anyway. Fandom Wild.... not good. I’ve said it for half of these boys so far, but god is it true. I have a way I see Wild that is rarely done in the fandom. Fandom Wild has a lot of the traits I also see in Wild, but to all of the extremes. I will mention one thing in particular as being a pet peeve, and it’s how some people headcanon him as always being nonverbal. I know what they’re trying to do, and I think they’re on to something, but they’re also missing the point of what BOTW Link’s character arc is. I just wish more people would forget fandom and work more off of the games for how to characterize him.

Favorite Moment/Quote: Weirdly enough, my favorite moment is when he got mad at everyone for making fun of his Gerudo outfit, so he dumped Goron Spice in his cooking. It’s encapsulates a part of his character I think a lot of people forget about.

What I would like to see more focus on: I think he has a really complicated relationship with his past. He said himself that his old self felt like a different person, and I think that should be explored a lot more. That idea actually fascinates me so much that instead of CTB, I almost wrote a character study fic about Wild. His emotions are not as simple as feeling guilty about letting his friends die and not preventing the Calamity. His emotions would be so complicated and because I don’t have the time to explore it, someone else needs to do it for me.

What I would like to see less focus on: There is a weird fascination with Wild having memory loss and essentially being like a kid again. And this feels infantilizing to me. It honestly bugs me a lot every time I see it.

Favorite pairing with: I can’t decide between Zelda, Mipha, and Revali. They’re all different dynamics and they’re all good.

Favorite friendship: Paya. I firmly believe that Paya is Wild’s best friend. I am the only one in the world who believes this. But I am also the only one in the world who is correct. 

NOTP: Wild is good with everyone. Good for him!

Favorite headcanon: An essential scene of my Wild character study I will never write is one where his horse dies. He goes into shock and walks back to Kakariko to talk to Impa. But once he goes to her, he breaks down in tears and has an absolute melt down over the horse. And Impa sagely says, “It’s not about the horse, is it?” She’s implying that he’s actually mourning the loss of his friends, Hyrule, his life, everything-- but through his tears, he keeps tell her that she’s wrong. He barely remembers them. He doesn’t know them. He doesn’t have any feelings about them. He just really loved that horse. But Impa refuses to listen to him, just repeating over and over again: “it’s not really about the horse.”

And that’s it! That’s all of my opinions! I know a lot of my opinions are polarizing, but everything I said is in good faith, and I am not trying to diss anyone for how they approach these characters.

I welcome you to send me your Opinions on the Links, even if it’s just to disagree with me. I’m cool with it, and I like knowing what everyone else thinks!

[kinglarrykoopadx]

Ranking the bosses of Origami King

I have stated many many MANY times that Origami King is my favorite Paper Mario, hell, one of my favorite games of all time. And if some lunatic waltzes into my house and gives me a choice of either liking TTYD or die, I’d rather be dead. But what’s the worst and best boss in the game? Today, we’re gonna rank all the bosses in Origami King. Also, it is recommended that you finish the game to view this post, cause this is a spoiler zone.

17. The Shifty Sticker, Tape

The most annoying and unfun boss to cap off a great tribute to Wind Waker fans, all the positives Tape got was having a bopping as hell music and a really great 1st phase. But that’s where the positives end, cause the 2nd phase is where it all goes downhill. Tape glues parts of the ring meaning you can’t slide panels and some parts of the rings are connected together. And when a lot of tapes are in the ring at once, it’s pretty annoying. And this may just be me, but when there’s too much tape in the arena, Tape straight up gobbles up the tape in the arena to restore HP and it is annoying as fudge. Oh and did I mention that to damage this boss, you’re forced to use the 1000 fold arms? And did I mention that any other form of offense is next to useless? Needless to say, this is one of the worst bosses I’ve had the pain to endure.

16. The Freezing Finisher, Ice Vellumental

The first phase of Snowy The Bear over here is surrounded by an icy forcefield and you must use the Fire Vellumental to melt down his barrier which is, pretty alright for a first phase (I mean your sliding is not locked this time so that’s a plus), but then, there’s Ice Maze to make up for all that fun. For those of you unknowing fools out there, Ice Maze is an ability of this guy where large parts of the arena are covered in ice, and the only way to get through it is find a way to the Action Panel or an active Fire Vellumental Magic Circle without being frozen so you (kinda) won’t have to endure his greatest attack, Ice Age. Problem is, that even for me, who has a strong memory, I can’t seem to solve it. Why this is less dreaded than Tape for me despite the monotony is that you can kinda cheese it without Fire Vellumental. By collecting coins, you can stock on Shiny Fire Flowers and basically fireball this boss to death (and they said coins are useless). Even so fuck this fight man.

15. The Blazing Bird, Fire Vellumental

This phoenix right here is possibly the smartest of the Vellumentals. Why is that, you ask? Easy. He lets you damage yourself. Using his special move, Hot Wings, he basically spreads his own wings (which takes a chunk of his health) and lets you damage yourself until you reach an Action Panel. Once you’re in the Action Panel, use your Iron Boots and jump the shit outta him until his feathers are all/almost gone. Then, use Water Vellumental to shower it to its doom, and lastly, for the coup de grace, pull off his hair and humiliate him in front of a bunch of Toads. The only reason this chicken wing is higher is because jumping him with Iron Boots is as fun, if not more fun than using the Fireballs to cheese the Ice Vellumental.

14. The Apocalyptic Abomination, Paper Mistake Buzzy Beetle

By far the most gruesome thing in Paper Mario franchise, it starts off with you hammering the Dry Bone heads it spews out using Kamek’s magic. Then, after enough heads were smashed, Kamek reveals himself and you have to pull him outta the beetle’s nose which is more satisfying than it should be. And then after that, you smash him in the gut 4 times to win. Needless to say, it had its moments.

13. The Elastic Entertainer, Rubber Band

4 numbers later and we are back to the Legion Of Stationary. This time, it’s Rubber Band. While I can see why people like this boss, keep in mind I’m doing all these on a no Game Over run, which makes the boss less fun for me. The Bumper Bands are a mere nuisance, but get caught in Rubber Bind and kiss your health goodbye. Solo Snapback isn’t much better either, for that attack, pray you have a 1 Up left or at the very least can endure that attack or say goodbye to your health. However, despite doing this on a no Game Over run is hell, why is it this high though? you may ask, well, simply put, the Rubber Bands are better projectiles than the Hot Wings, Icicles, and Tape combined.

12. The Chaotic Cactus, Mega Paper Macho Pokey

Tower Power Pokey is back, but this time, he’s made some changes to the battlefield. Now, instead of fighting in some egyptian temple, you fight him inside of a tornado. This segmented spiky monstrosity has 3 attacks. Creating tornadoes, stalking you from underground, and trying to squash you with its body. This time, to defeat him, instead of using some Baseball Bat sticker bullshit, you must wait until his glow fades and approach him with the Boot Car so you can deliver the smackdown. And, pro tip : if I were you, I wouldn’t get caught in the twisters.

11. The Groundshaking Gut-Slammer, Earth Vellumental

God to all Koopas, the Earth Vellumental is pretty fun for a tutorial boss. You use your hammers to smash its limbs till eventually you hit its tender tail, and it’s more fun than it had any right to be. Once the tail is pounded to perfection, flip it with your 1000 fold arms and smack the living daylights out of it.

10. The Trial Of Toughness, Scuffle Island Boss Rush

An optional boss accessible in Chapter 4, the Scuffle Island Boss Rush is fun for a miniboss rush. You get 7 tough Paper Macho opponents ; Goomba, Shy Guy, Koopa, Boo, Paratroopa, Stone Spike, and Buzzy Beetle, each bearing 2 more hitpoints than the ordinary Paper Macho enemies and having a large attack boost. It’s a test of learning the patterns of the Paper Machos and is way more fun than it has any right to be. Although the Paratroopa did gave me some troubles, like, seriously, if you beat this guy’s 1st phase without a guide, you’re a pro.

9. The Stormy Guardian, Boss Sumo Bro

A clever reference to NSMBU and Super Mario World, Boss Sumo Bro stands on his mighty thundercloud at first, until you take out his goonies. Then, once you’re done with his goons, he’ll charge up his unblockable Mega Thunder attack and to stop it, you must use the Fire Vellumental to take him down. It’s admittedly pretty fun.

8. The Missile Maestro, Colored Pencils

One of the most fun tutorial bosses, Colored Pencils has a simple but really fun 1st phase. You have to close its lid to pull off a Fire Vellumental, and on the 2nd phase, it gets better. You have to use his Rainbow Roll against him and smack the living daylights out of him. It’s a great boss, buut problem is, it’s a tutorial boss. It had not much of a chance to make it to the top 5. 

7. The Final Destination, Paper Plane Strike Force

This game consists of you shooting a bunch of Bob Ombs to pave the way to the final level of the game Origami Castle, which is, much sadder than it may seem. It’s fun as heck shooting down the paper planes, and the Squadron where you have to shoot like a million Bob Ombs to its face is by far personally the most fun part of the game. Why it’s this low is that it’s one of the 2 non-rematchable bosses. Once you’ve gotten to Origami Castle, this minigame won’t be accessible anymore.

6. The Submarine Sinker, Water Vellumental

This overhydrated water dragon is one of the more strategic bosses. You must take note of the water twisters and prevent them from getting in your way of making it to the Action panel to jump him and hit him with the hammer. And then, once he’s gonna blow, make your way to the Earth Vellumental Magic Circle to dodge his Mega Wave attack, which is pretty powerful. It’s personally one of the more fun bosses this game had to offer. It’s not in the top 5 since the water twisters can be pretty annoying though I never had a problem with them personally.

5. The Disco Devil, Hole Punch

The groovy lobotomiser’s 1st phase is pretty annoying, you have to find his tender spot to deal decent damage to him, while having a reduction in health,  but slamming the ever loving shit outta him when he tried to pull off his special attack is fun as hell. It makes up for the horrid 1st phase. And pulling off the rubber case as the finisher is waaayyy more fun than it needs to be. Also the music is a freaking jam.

4. The Tentacley Terror, Paper Macho Gooper Blooper

This Mario Sunshine nostalgia fest is hella fun. The 1st phase has you hammering his tentacles which is way more fun than it should be, and the 2nd phase has you hammering his eye, which is, again, way more fun than it should be. This boss is just really, REALLY fun.

3. The Dual Bladed Duelist, Scissors

One of the harder and more intense bosses, Scissors’ first phase is putting on a case for his blades for the sake of a fair fight, but once that’s done, it’s all intense, bloodpumping action from here. Scissors will use his unblockable special attack, Final Cut, and you must time your jumps to prevent an instant KO. I felt a strong urge of satisfaction when jumping over Scissors’ special attack countless times, it’s not even a laughing matter.

2. The Roshamboa, Handaconda

The first phase has you hammering him to get Olivia out of its grasp, and then, the 2nd phase is where the true fun begins. The Magic Circles are swapped with panels with images of Rock, Paper and Scissors and you must observe his hand patterns to get a chance to rush attack him with the 1000 fold arms. It feels so satisfying when you beat him in Roshambo and smash the living daylights out of him.

1. The Royal Rebel, King Olly

One of the best final bosses of all time, Olly is a culmination of what you have learned throughout your journey. The 1st phase consist of you retracing the weaknesses of the Vellumentals and using it against them, the 2nd phase consists of you slamming the ground to give Origami Bowser a helping hand in dealing the semi finishing blow towards Duraludon Olly, and the final phase has you fixing a jumbled up Giant Magic Circle while Olly bombards you with attacks that lead to quicktime events that are way more fun and dramatic than they had any right to be. Needless to say, Olly is the best boss in the Origami King.

[kiribaku-queen]

Home [8/10]

Pairing: Bakugou x reader, Kirishima x reader

Fluff, angst, werewolf!au

Word count: 3.5k

A/N: Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! Let me know what your predictions are for the end! 

Summary: Being called the beauty of the clan isn’t as nice as it sounds. The beauty of the clan is supposed to exude confidence, power, and well, beauty. You were quite the opposite, only possessing one of those traits. Yet, the older you got, the more you fit into the role you were given. After your brother and all the boys of age come back from their training period, it was time to find a mate. But who will steal your heart? Is it Bakugou, the rising leader of the pack, or is it Kirishima, the personal guard and the strongest in the pack?

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]

17 year old Kirishima was ecstatic. It was his first time exploring the clan’s boarders. Usually, teenagers aren’t allowed to help patrol so early, but since Bakugou was going to be the next alpha and Kirishima was supposed to be his personal guard, this was an exception. Bakugou didn’t show it, but everyone could tell that he was just as excited. As they were all in their wolf forms, Kirishima couldn’t help but show how excited he was by his wagging tail. Even if he wanted to stop, he couldn’t. It was annoying Bakugou because his tail kept hitting him so he had to physically hold his tail down with his paw.

Patrolling the boarders was fascinating to Kirishima. He learned where not to cross and what parts were their territory. He learned different scents to look out for and what to do if you do see something. But going over boundaries once wasn’t enough for him. No, he needed to do multiple rounds so that the trail is embedded within his memory. So, he snuck out in the middle of the night to go over the tracks again.

The grass felt good under his paws, the cool, night breeze tickled his muzzle, and the view of the whole clan light up in his eyes. Now he could get used to this every day. All he had to do was train for two years, get a ripped body for all the ladies and he would live his dream out. Kirishima was so immersed and excited that he forgot all the basics that he learned earlier that day. He didn’t even notice or smell two others that were watching and following his every move. While he was too distracted by everything around him, the two mysterious strangers who were way bigger and way stronger than him attacked him from behind. They pounded on his back, making Kirishima unable to react properly. It all happened to fast. By the time that he knew what was going on, it was already too late. They were taking him far… far away. Farther way from the town. Far enough where the lights started to dim out and can no longer be seen. Far enough where even if he screamed, no one could hear him.

He was doomed, he thought. They were either going to cut him up and kill him, even worse eat him! Or they were going to sell his body to a slave trade and his friends and family would never see him again. The two strangers tied his hands behind his back and put a muzzle around his mouth to prevent him from attacking. Not like he could do much to them anyway. He didn’t know how to fight yet. At least not for serious occasions. There was a feeling of nervousness in the pit of his stomach that just would not go away. He was getting anxious and fidgety not knowing what was going to him. The strangers weren’t even talking. Just silently dragging him to wherever they wanted.

It wasn’t longer until Kirishima could spot lights up ahead. Hope started glimmer in his eyes. Perfect, they weren’t taking him somewhere shady or taking him somewhere to kill him. At least, he hoped. They were entering another clan. This clan had a whole different vibe compared to his. His clan was always bright with lights. No matter what time of day it was, buzz and chatter was always happening. Everyone was so friendly with one another and it was almost like the clan never sleeps. This clan was like the opposite. Although there were lights lit, it was very dim. No one was out and about. The aesthetics of this clan was more sophisticated than what he was used to back home. The strangers took him inside this gigantic building, bigger than Bakugou’s house. But how could anything be bigger than Bakugou’s house? His house was the biggest in all of the clan? And to know that someone here has an even more massive house, they must mean business.

The strangers took him to this room and pushed him forward, causing him to fall straight on his face. He was going to feel that in the morning. He got up and rested on his knees. He looked up to see a girl, probably around his age, sitting on a throne-like chair with her legs crossed and a bored expression on her face.

“Kirishima Eijirou?” she questioned. Kirishima cocked his eyebrow in confusion. She knew his name? How? He had never met or seen her in his life. He couldn’t speak due to the muzzle that was still on him. Without saying another word, the girl on the chair gestured with her finger to the two strangers. They went up to him and set him on his feet, taking the muzzle away but still keeping his hands tied together.

“Do I know you?” Kirishima questioned back once the muzzle was taken off.

“No,” she replied curtly. “But I know you. Upcoming personal guard of Bakugou Katsuki, son of the current alpha of your clan.” Shit, how did she know all of that? Before anything could makes sense, she continued. “I have a proposition for you.” Oh, he knows where this is going.

“I will not kill my best friend!” Kirishima screamed determinedly. He’s seen this in movies. The villain kidnaps the one closest to the main character and forces them to kill them or else they would do something horrible like kill their family, torture them or take their loved one! How pitiful. It was a shame that he had to go like this.

“Cute. But that’s not why I called you here,” Kirishima looked even more confused. And not gonna lie, a bit disappointed. Look like he wasn’t going to be a part of a real life movie. “I’m going to marry Bakugou Katsuki and I need your help.”

“Uh sorry to burst your bubble but Katsuki is taken.”

“Hmm,” the girl faked a pout and went to dig for something. She took out a picture of you and then Kirishima was on high alert. “I’m assuming by this? (y/n), was it? Yeah she’s going to get in the way, but that’s where you come into play. And it’s as easy as pie, make her fall in love with you.”  When she showed him that picture of you, panic and anger started to rise in him. But when she told him to make you fall in love with him, then he got flustered. What kind of demand was that? Sure he had a bit of a crush on you for like a 12 years but never in a million years would he backstab his friend to get the girl… right? And even if he did, you were head over heels over Bakugou so he didn’t even have a chance. She got sense how hesitant Kiri was by the slow response which ticker her off. Rolling her eyes, she threw your picture aimlessly on the floor.

“Well if you don’t, I’ll just have to kill her myself,” she smirked when Kirishima finally reacted in pure rage. He leaned forward but was pulled back by the same people who kidnapped him and served him a few punches to the face to calm him down.

“You’re going to kill her all for some guy?!” Kirishima yelled even though he was in pain. She laughed out loud, obnoxiously and over the top.

“Aw you don’t get the big picture. See, when I marry Bakugou, I’ll be the alpha’s wife and our two clans will be united. And all I have to do is get rid of him and I will dominate both clans and have all the power!” The brown haired girl laughed and smiled at her own, devilish plan. So no matter what he chose, one of the two people he cares most about is going to get hurt. “Help me and you’ll also get the girl. It’s a win-win situation really. But if you don’t, your precious little love will be dead by sunrise.” she made it seem like it was an obvious choice. She didn’t him much time to answer because she was already beckoning for those two guys to do the deed.

“Wait!” he managed to get out. This was all too much for him. All he wanted was to do his job to protect his people by going over the clan’s boarder but now he had to chose who he wanted to protect: the girl he likes or his best friend. Bros before hoes but it seemed like your life was in more serious danger at the moment. “Fuck…FUCK! Fine, I’ll help you. Just, don’t touch (y/n) alright?” he said, defeated. She smirked, having known she won and her plan was coming along.

“I knew you’d see it my way.”

 And so from then on, Kirishima worked on trying to make you fall in love with him. He knew you loved eye candy, no matter who it was. So throughout those two years off at training, he tried his hardest to have the best body at camp. It was easy to work out with a goal in mind but hard because he had to compete with Bakugou. Everything he did, he matched that or tried to one up him. And it never got noticed because Bakugou loved a challenge. It was also common for the two to do everything little thing together cause they were so close. Shredded body? Step 1 complete. Step 2? In progress.

If Kirishima wasn’t in this dilemma, he would still admire you from afar while Bakugou has you all for himself. Of course, he wouldn’t miss the opportunity to flirt with you once in a while, but that’s as far as he could go. And if you fell for him on the way, then a plus for him. He wouldn’t intentionally try to steal you away from his best friend. Now this was a different story. Although his feelings towards you never changed, his intentions did. It didn’t feel right at first. But the more and more he purposely tried to make you fall in love with him, the more he wanted.

When you were crying when you first heard about the engagement to Uraraka, he comforted you like a friend. And only as a friend because he didn’t know how to flirt with someone who he had a major crush on. But he knew he couldn’t chicken out because if you were still in the picture by the time Uraraka and Bakugou were to be wed, then she would come after you herself. That’s the last thing that he wants. So he got more bold with his actions.

The first time, it was the promise. He pulled you in for a kiss to seal the deal, but backed off. Push and pull and they will always come running back to you. His heart jumped when you blushed at his actions. Did you really just get flustered with him? His confidence level surged. But he was going to go step by step to not scare you off. So he spent as much time as possible with you. He followed you around and did things together so that you could be comfortable around him. He would touch you here and there so that you could get comfortable with his touch. He sat on your bed and did your laundry so that he could leave his scent wherever you are. When he saw that your reactions were going to become a regular thing, he bumped it up a notch. Staring at you until you noticed and smirking when he got caught. He was told that really got the ladies. He tried it and what do you know? It worked like a charm. You stared at him right back. He got lucky that day too because he had the perfect opportunity for a kiss. He leaned in to kiss you because he knew that you would get flustered. But god, how he really wanted to kiss you. But he had to remember the push and pull method.

As days go on, he was falling for you deeper and deeper each day. Honestly, forget about the deal that he had with Uraraka. It really looked like you were forgetting Bakugou and started having feelings for him. Even if he was treated as a rebound, if it turns something pure then it would have been worth it. Hell, even if there was no deal, he would try to protect you at all costs. At the market, it was pure coincidence that they were there at the same time as Bakugou and Uraraka. Kirishima knew that Uraraka smelled them a mile away and wanted to take this opportunity to mess with them. But he avoided that to protect you.

When he goes to kiss you again in the kitchen, he wasn’t going to take advantage of you like that. He wanted to do this properly and wanted for you to make the first move. Because if his suspicions were right and you were falling for him, you kissing him first would confirm it. He get up boundaries and restrained himself. He was going to make you fall in love with him, with or without this mission.

 Back to present day, Kirishima has to sneak out once a week to meet with Uraraka to give her updates on his progress. It was dangerous and risky but if he didn’t comply, Uraraka always manages to threaten something. Not only did he almost get caught a few times by you sneaking out in the middle of the night, but Uraraka wanted to meet at Bakugou’s place. She was too lazy to meet him anywhere else and whatever she says, goes.

“Hes so easy to toy with,” Uraraka is satisfied that her plan is almost complete. “Tell me, have you made her fall in love with you yet?” she raises an eyebrow but Kirishima stands there tall, arms crossed behind his back.

“No,” very blunt and straight to the point. Uraraka knows that Kirishima isn’t very fond of her but who cares? He was hired for a job not to be friends.

“Still? I’ve given you enough time. How much long do I have to wait?” she massaged her temple with one hand. She was running out of patience and was getting more irritable by the second. “Where do you two stand?”

“Just a… just a kiss.” He was shy to admit it to someone who wanted to kill you.

“Well, speed up the process! Our time is coming to a close and you know what will happen if this wedding fails, right?” Kirishima gulped because he knew what was ahead of him if this mission didn’t succeed. You could die. Or Bakugou. Even worse, both of you could. Hell, he could too if he didn’t play his cards right. But it started to feel wrong. He was feeling guilty about forcing you to love him when he knew you were in a difficult position. But it was too late to back out now because they were already too far in.

It was hard sleeping that night. You were confused. You thought you were doing so well without him but then he shows up in your life again, telling you how much he missed you and that he still wanted you? Dumb feelings. You don’t even know what you want anymore.

You woke up feeling groggy. Even if you went to bed early, your mind was up all night. Thinking about the past, the future. What could have been. What would have been if you two were still together. But it broke your heart every time because you knew you couldn’t be together. He was engaged. You would just get in the way of his success and his bright future. There wasn’t a better match for him. Sighing, you finally got out of bed and the first thing in sight was a red rose sitting on your windowsill. You were surprised and all thoughts of Bakugou were gone. Your mind drifted off to Kirishima and the kiss you shared. Did he do this? How sweet of him. You blushed and pulled the rose to your nose to give it a good sniff. A smile grew even wider on your lips. How did he know that roses were your favorite? This didn’t just happen once. It happened day after day after day after day. Every day you woke up in the morning, a new rose would be sitting there, waiting for you. And every morning you would gush at how cute Kirishima was for doing such a romantic gesture. Day after day, your collection of roses was just getting bigger. You didn’t confront Kirishima about it because you knew he would get shy. And you were afraid that if you did, he would stop doing. So you secretly enjoyed it while going about your day like usual.

Kirishima was getting bolder ever since you gave him that little kiss on the lips. He was pulling you in closer and being more handsy but you didn’t stop him this time. You enjoyed it and actually flirted back. He was giving you more attention that ever but at the same time, he looked distracted. Like something was eating at him. But you were sure that was just your imagination. It’s been a long time since you felt comfortable around someone that made you feel like you were on top of the world. Like you were the only person who mattered. And it felt really good to be wanted again.

Your dad needed help with chopping up fire wood so of course, manly Kirishima comes in hand. You were setting out plates for dinner while your mother was finishing up the food and Sero was setting out napkins and utensils. Standing side by side with your brother while setting up the table, Sero nudges you with his elbow.

“Hey,” he whispers. Weird, why was he whispering. It’s only us that are listening. What did he not want people to hear? Pushing your initial thoughts out of the way, you elbowed him back because damn, his elbow poking hurts because of his stupid quirk. “Hey (y/n)! Are you and Kiri… you know,” he was making weird hand motions and you slapped him on the shoulder.

“Stop that. If you’re asking if we are together, no we’re not.” You firmly state.

“Yeah? Well do you like him?”

“Eh? Uhm… Yes? No? Maybe?” you side eyed your brother and he was just nodding his head slowly, a small frown could be seen on his face. “What’s with that look?” you asked, little concerned about that face he was giving you.

“Nothing,” he simply says but you know that’s a lie.

“No, what is it? Why are you looking at me like that?” Sero sighs and thinks a bit before speaking.

“Just… make sure you are 100% of your feelings for him before you guys are official, kay?” You tilt your head to the side, confused. “I don’t know! I just don’t want you using Kirishima as a rebound, you know?” he continues.

“I am not using him as a rebound,” you tried to defend yourself but Sero thinks otherwise.

“Not intentionally. But from what I see right now, you kind of are,” he admits and goes to put food on the table. Before you could retaliate or even think about it, Kirishima and your dad burst through the door ready to be fed.

“Who’s ready for food because I’m starving!” your dad erupts, kissing your mom on the cheek and sitting down at the table. Kirishima follows suit, glancing up at you, giving you a charming smile. You smile back. You weren’t using him as a rebound, were you?

 Bakugou made it his mission to get you back. After that night, he knew he approached it the wrong way. He was too forward and too aggressive. You didn’t like that. You like romantic things. Things that are seen in TV shows and movies. He was going to do just that.

Every morning, he would tag along with the morning pack to patrol boarders because that would give him an excuse to visit you. But from afar. On the way, he would pick up a rose and lay it on your windowsill while you were still sleeping. Then he would wait in a nearby tree, where he could see your room clearly, to see your reaction when you woke up to a rose waiting for you. He knew he scored the jackpot with that move because the way your face brightened up at the sight of something so romantic told all. So he continued to do that everyday until you physically couldn’t hold any more roses in your room. He was determined to make you his again and do anything to make you gain his trust again.

Tagged: @goodpop9 @superblyspeedydragon @tspice283 @marvelobsessedteen @rosetheshapeshifter @cabbagesquadfam @bnha-iamhere @theartsydoodler @taehyungbbe

[edgy-ella]

Super Smash Bros critical hit quotes

To contribute to the recent efforts to turn Smash Bros into Fire Emblem with Nintendo All Stars, I thought it would be cool/funny to add critical hit quotes to Smash Bros characters. Maybe they could say these whenever they used their final smashes (some of them already do lmao). Or, if we ever do get a tactics RPG with Nintendo characters which would be THE DREAM, Nintendo could use these. Some of these were really easy, others were really hard. I bet you can guess which ones.

Also, for characters who communicate with singular noises/grunts, I’ve added a translation of what they’re actually saying.

Mario:

“Lets-a go!”

“Mario time!”

“Mama Mia!”

“Wahoo!”

Donkey Kong:

“Banana slamma!”

“DK! Donkey Kong!”

“You’re an absolute zero!”

“Here I come!”

Link:

“My courage will prevail!”

“This is just between you and me.”

“…Now!”

“I’m dangerous, you know.”

Samus:

“For true peace!”

“You’ve done well.”

“Time to pay up!”

“Mission complete.”

Dark Samus:

“I will corrupt you.”

“The thrill of battle.”

“Touch me. I dare you.”

“Dead on arrival!”

Yoshi:

“Yoshi!” (Peace!)

“Hm hm, hup!” (I’m finished with you!)

“Yoshi yo?” (Fried or scrambled?)

“Yo yo yo!” (Don’t be such a baby!)

Kirby:

“Haiii!” (Hello!)

“Poyo poyo!” (Thanks for playing with me!)

“Uwaaah!” (Hey, that hurt!)

“Hiyaaa!”

Fox:

“Here I come!”

“Better luck next time.”

“It’s go time!”

“Mission complete.”

Pikachu:

“Pika pika!” (Bye bye!)

“Piii, pikachu?” (Oh, you want some more?)

“Chu, pika pi!” (I’m electrifying!)

“Pika pi pi!” (Sparks are flying!)

Luigi:

“Let’s-a go…”

“Go, green!”

“Bang, bang!”

“ACHOOO!”

Captain Falcon:

“Come on!”

“Show me your moves!”

“I’m number one!”

“Guess I’ll have to show off!”

Ness:

“Say fuzzy pickles!”

“Batter up!”

“You stink!”

“Does it hurt yet?”

Jigglypuff:

“Puff puff…” (I’m getting sleepy…)

“Jigglypuff jiggly jiggly!” (Time for a power ballad!)

“Jiggly, jigglypuff puff?” (Would you like an encore?)

“Jigglypuff puff jiggly!” (Sing with me now!)

Peach:

“Sweet!”

“This is fun!”

“Don’t hit me!”

“Want some cake?”

Daisy:

“Sweet!”

“I got it!”

“I’m the best!”

“Hi, I’m Daisy!”

Bowser:

“Bowser time!”

“I’m oughta rip your stuffing out!”

“Even scarier up close, huh?”

“Bwahahaha!”

Ice Climbers:

“Knock ‘em out!”

“Double trouble!”

“You’re wobbling!”

“Catch and release!”

Sheik:

“Time is cruel.”

“For my people!”

“Silence.”

“We will meet again.”

Zelda:

“Victory is a step away!”

“For my people!”

“I will not yield!”

“It would be wise to stand down.”

Dr. Mario:

“You are terminally ill.”

“The doctor will see you now.”

“I diagnose you with defeat!”

“Clear!”

Pichu:

“Pichu pi pi…” (This is exhausting…)

“Pichu pichu!” (My time to shine!)

“Chu, pichu pi!” (I’m electrifying!)

“Pi pichu chu!” (You’re such a baby!)

Falco:

“Had enough yet?”

“Gotta jet!”

“Quit moving around!”

“I’ll take you down with one shot!”

Marth:

“Eyes on me!”

“This is it!”

“Forgive me!”

“Shine, Falchion!”

Lucina:

“Time to change fate!”

“You will not stop me!”

“Hope will never die!”

“Our bonds give me strength!”

Young Link:

“My courage will prevail!”

“No hard feelings.”

“I’ll show you a terrible fate!”

“Hey, you! Listen up!”

Ganondorf:

“Pathetic little fool!”

“Your place is beneath me!”

“I am your demise!”

“Behold my power!”

Mewtwo:

“Do not defy me.”

“Pathetic.”

“You’re a fool.”

“Your thoughts betray you.”

Roy:

“I won’t lose!”

“By my blade!”

“For those I must protect!”

“My flame burns bright!”

Chrom:

“Anything can change!”

“Now I’m mad!”

“I will not fail!”

“Our bonds give me strength!”

Mr. Game & Watch:

“RING!” (NINE!)

“Beep beep bop beep.” (I am beyond your comprehension)

“Breep BOP!” (Now DIE!)

“Boop boop beep bop.” (The time has come!)

Meta Knight:

“Know my power!”

“Behold!”

“Come meet your doom!”

“You will not escape!”

Pit:

“You’re finished!”

“Bye now!”

“It’s game over for you!”

“Say your prayers!”

Dark Pit:

“Goodbye!”

“It’s time!”

“Game over.”

“Nothing personal.”

Zero Suit Samus:

“Be still.”

“You’re mine.”

“I object!”

“Stunning, isn’t it?”

Wario:

“I’m-a gonna win!”

“Stinker!”

“You smell that?”

“WAHAHAHA!”

Snake:

“It’s showtime.”

“War has changed.”

“I won’t shed tears for you.”

“Be quiet.”

Ike:

“Prepare yourself.”

“No holding back!”

“Amateur.”

“Out of my way!”

Pokémon Trainer:

“It’s super effective!”

“A critical hit!”

“Go get ‘em!”

“We’re a top percentage team!”

Diddy Kong:

“You’re outta here!”

“I’m one tough Kong!”

“Here’s my chance!”

“Hoo hah!”

Lucas:

“Don’t back down now…”

“I’m sorry!”

“You must be tired.”

“I can endure this!”

Sonic:

“Now I’ll show you!”

“I’ll always keep on running!”

“Do you know who I am?”

“You’re too slow!”

King Dedede:

“You ready to get clobbered?”

“I’ll kick you to the curb!”

“Bow before my majesty!”

“I am D-D-Devious!”

Olimar:

“You were a fine research specimen.”

“Courage, Olimar!”

“I must survive!”

“Carry, fight, multiply!”

Lucario:

“The aura is with me!”

“I can smell your fear!”

“You can’t hide from me!”

“That was your last mistake.”

R.O.B.:

“Now terminating.”

“Initiating critical attack.”

“ERROR: Life not found.”

“I am Robotic Obliterating Buddy.”

Toon Link:

“My courage will prevail!”

“You want a piece of me?”

“Let’s get dangerous!”

“Do you hear the wind blowing?”

Wolf:

“What’s the matter, scared?”

“Playtime’s over.”

“You’re good, but I’m better.”

“Can’t let you do that!”

Villager:

“Now, scram!”

“Time to get buried!”

“This is gonna hurt!”

“Who’s the mighty one now?”

Mega Man:

“Leave it to me!”

“I’ll make you pay!”

“This is for the greater good!”

“You must be stopped!”

Wii Fit Trainer:

“Feel the burn!”

“Let’s get fired up!”

“You’re off balance!”

“No pain, no gain!”

Rosalina:

“I’ll put you to sleep.”

“Children, avert your eyes!”

“Let us begin!”

“Away with you!”

Little Mac:

“Don’t underestimate me!”

“I’m gonna punch you out!”

“This one’s for the Bronx!”

“Dance like a fly, bite like a mosquito!”

Greninja:

“Gre nin.” (Silent takedown.)

“Ja, Greninja!” (Now, you must die!)

“Gre, ninja gre…” (Just as the flow of the ocean…)

“Gre JAJAJAJA!” (Hiyayayaya!)

Palutena:

“You shall be purified.”

“Time for some divine intervention!”

“I won’t hold back!”

“Say your prayers!”

Pac-Man:

“Get ready!”

“Let’s put a smile on that face!”

“Do you have a fevor?”

“Wakka wakka wakka wakka.”

Robin:

“Time to tip the scales!”

“Checkmate!”

“I have a plan!”

“Our bonds give me strength!”

Shulk:

“This is the Monado’s power!”

“I can change the future!”

“Looks like I don’t have a choice!”

“I’m really feeling it!”

Bowser Jr.:

“I won’t quit!”

“Are you watching, Dad?”

“You need some roughing up!”

“Hope you’re ready!”

Duck Hunt:

“Heheheheh~”

“Grrr…”

“AWOOOO!”

“Ruff, ruff!” (I’ll bite your ankles off!)

Ryu:

“I will finish this.”

“Now’s my chance!”

“Gotcha!”

“I’m not finished yet!”

Ken:

“You’re going down!”

“Get serious!”

“Gotcha!”

“Open your eyes!”

Cloud:

“No hard feelings.”

“Your luck’s run out.”

“I’m breaking my limits!”

“Not interested.”

Corrin:

“This ends here!”

“I make my own fate!”

“I won’t surrender!”

“Open the way, please!”

Bayonetta:

“Let’s dance, boys!”

“New ‘do, dead you!”

“You’ve been naughty!”

“Flock off!”

Inkling:

“Woomy!” (Booyah!)

“Ngyes!” (Aww yeah!)

“Wo squalimey!” (Come on, this way!)

“Say fwess!” (Stay fresh!)

Ridley:

“You’re about to die!”

“I make a big impression!”

“Start screaming.”

“You’ll make for a good snack.”

Simon:

“My path is clear!”

“On my honor as a Belmont!”

“I vanquish the darkness!”

“I offer only defeat.”

Richter:

“You don’t belong in this world!”

“Begone, monster!”

“I vanquish the darkness!”

“Farewell.”

King K. Rool:

“I’ve had enough of this!”

“Nothing can stop me!”

“You’re all doomed!”

“Any last requests?”

Isabelle:

“My apologies!”

“Now you’ve done it!”

“I’m gonna go Isaballistic on you!”

“Will that be all?”

Incineroar:

“Grahaha!”

“Cineroar!” (I’m gonna put on a show!)

“Incin!” (Oh, yeah!)

“Incineroar, cin?” (You want an autograph?)

Piranha Plant:

“Plant gang!”

“You see these pearly whites?”

“For Lord Bowser!”

“I’m about to head out.”

Joker:

“The show’s over.”

“You never saw it coming!”

“I’m going to ravage you!”

“Time to steal your heart!”

Hero:

“But I must!”

“Have you wet your knickers?”

“My turn!”

“Time to get critical!”

“HOES MAD”

Banjo and Kazooie:

Banjo: “I’m sorry!”

Banjo: “Out of the way, please!”

Kazooie: “You can shove it!”

Kazooie: “Get bent, nerd!”

Both: “We’re raring to go!”

Terry:

“Are you okay?”

“Hey, c’mon!”

“Bingo!”

“Take it easy!”

Byleth:

“Here is something to believe in!”

“Allow me to demonstrate!”

“Let this be a lesson!”

“No hesitation!”

Bonus:

Sans:

“You’re gonna have a bad time.”

“Get dunked on!”

“This’ll hurt a skele-ton!”

“Sorry about this, pal…”

Cuphead:

“You’re up!”

“Don’t mess with me!”

“Ready for a walloping?”

“Oh, it’s on!”

[puroresu-musings]

PWG BATTLE OF LOS ANGELES 2019 Final Stage DVD Review  (Sept 22nd, The Globe Theater in Los Angeles, CA.)

Battle of Los Angeles Quarter Finals Match Dragon Lee vs. Jake Atlas  ****1/4

Battle of Los Angeles Quarter Finals Match Bandido vs. Brody King  ***

Battle of Los Angeles Quarter Finals Match Jonathan Gresham vs. A-Kid  ****

Battle of Los Angeles Quarter Finals Match Joey Janela vs. Rey Fenix  ***1/4+

Battle of Los Angeles Quarter Finals Match Darby Allin vs. Penta El Zero M  ***1/2

Battle of Los Angeles Quarter Finals Match David Starr vs. Jeff Cobb  ***1/2

Dark Order (Evil Uno & Stu Grayson) vs. Rey Horus & Aramis  ***1/4

Battle of Los Angeles Semi Finals Match Jonathan Gresham vs. Joey Janela  ***

Battle of Los Angeles Semi Finals Match Bandido vs. Dragon Lee  ****1/2

Battle of Los Angeles Semi Finals Match David Starr vs. Darby Allin  **3/4

Team Ugg (Caveman Ugg, Orange Cassidy, Jungle Boy, Artemis Spencer and Paris DeSilva) vs. Team Taurus (Black Taurus, Mick Moretti, Lucky Kid, Tony Deppen and Kyle Fletcher)  ***3/4

Battle of Los Angeles Finals Match Bandido vs. David Starr vs. Jonathan Gresham  ****

Photos.

It’s that time of the year again; Pro Wrestlig Guerrilla’s annual BOLA tournament. I’d be lying if I said this years line-up filled me with much enthusiasm (beyond living legend Daisuke Sekimoto’s inclusion, of course), but I’d heard this final day was worth checking out, and it certaintly didn’t disappoint. It featured a bunch on great matches, countless madman moves, and if you were playing a drinking game in which you were to take a shot every time someone slapped their thigh, you’d be in an alcohol induced coma by the midway point. PWG is a promotion I’ve sort of fallen out with in the last couple of years. Every now and then they’d have an occasional show that I’d really like (last years BOLA was mostly great), but generally, the roster since mid 2017 hasn’t sparked my enthusiasm, and their shows have just been average more often than not. Well I’m pleased to say this was a return to form of sorts.

Action kicked off with a bang with Dragon Lee’s fantastic, all-action victory of Jake Atlas, which left a lot to follow. Lee had the two best matches on the show here, and I hope wherever he ends up post CMLL split, that he’s featured at the top of the card. Atlas held his own here too, it must be said, though Lee was obviously the standout. There was a crazy sequence where Lee hit a Hurricarana out of the ring, and Atlas took out the front row, and another, straight out of the Hiromu feud, where they traded 8 straight German Suplex’s, then traded reverse rana’s, before Lee hit a running knee strike for a near fall, dropped the knee pad and hit another to advance in 10:55. Bandido’s win over the massive Brody King was good, but couldn’t follow that, and they decided to do a “Lucha” match, which was both impressive, given King’s size, and terribly messy at times. Bandido won with the 21 Plex in 10:40. The Octopus Jonathan Gresham’s win over Spain’s A-Kid was an excellent contest that started off as a compelling technical outing, then broke down into a heated hard-hitter, and was the most “real” looking fight on the entire card. Gresham worked over Kid’s leg all match, and won via ref stoppage after repeatedly stomping on it, and driving the knee into the mat at the 18:03 mark. This was great. 

Joey Janela surprisingly advanced over Fenix in another good match. However, at 15:58, this was much too long, and had it gone 10 minutes, probably would have been much better. Fenix was roughly a hundred times better than Janela in this, but The Bad Boy got the upset after turning Fenix’s mask around, thus ‘blinding’ him, and hitting a super kick for the three. Darby Allin and (the sometimes) Pentagon Jr had a very good outing next which told a compelling story, and featured even better selling by Penta, after Allin bashed his knee with a chair in the early stages. The masked man pulled a tremendous sell-job, needing help getting his leg over the ropes whenever he tried to enter the ring. Of course, they fucked it by doing a piledriver and Canadian Destroyer off a ladder, neither of which were the finish, and Darby just popped up from them, hit some moves and won with a figure four cradle at 16:24. Had it had a different finishing stretch, this too would have great, but alas, they had to epitomise everything that frustrates me about indy wrestling nowadays. David Starr and Jeff Cobb had a very different bout next, it was a fun wrestling match which saw Starr pull off the upset by defeating last years winner, and current PWG World Champ, Cobb after nailing him with a belt shot behind ref Aubrey Edwards back (which would later play into Starr’s semi final bout), then hitting a massive Lariat to advance in 11:15. Post intermission, the former Super Smash Bros., now Dark Order defeated the Lucha tandem of Rey Horus and youngster Aramis. This was another good match-up, but I wasn’t too invested in this. Dark Order won after hitting their cool Fatality finish on Aramis at 14:48.

BOLA semi final action commenced with Gresham making short work (8:30) of Joey Janela, in a fun little sprint (which did needlessly feature Gresham kicking at one form a Package Piledriver). Apparently, Janela has won all his tourney matches with a super kick, but Gresham kicked out here, which threw the Bad Boy, resulting in him ‘losing it’ and throwing a bunch of chairs into the ring, which he was Germaned onto. The Octopus locked on the Manjigatame for the submission win. Dragon Lee and Bandido had the match of the night next. This was something of a dream match, and whilst it was a wild 12 minute all-actioner, I can’t help but wish they went maybe 5 minutes longer here. Regardless of this, the match was still excellent stuff indeed, and we know what to expect here; Lee hit a tope suicida maybe 4 rows deep, and Bandido hit an Orihara moonsault that literally grazed the balcony. They went full-speed, hit all of their signature spots, before Dragon Lee no-sold a top rope Moonsault Powerslam, and scored a near fall with a devastating top rope Desnucadora. Bandido countered a Powerbomb into a Destroyer, then hit the 21 Plex, but rolled through into a Deadlift German for the win. The crowd showered the ring in dollars in the post-match, whilst Bandido got them to chant “Please Come Back” at Lee. And in the third semi final, David Starr was victorious of Darby Allin in the weakest, and shortest, match on the show. The main story here was Starr trying to bully and intimidate referee Aubrey Edwards, pushing her around, before she finally shoved him to the mat to a huge pop, all the while Darby just... lay around. As Allin made a comeback, Starr caught a Coffin Drop into a Powerbomb backbreaker, then got the win at 5:39 with another big Lariat.

The prerequisite ridiculous BOLA 10 man of first round losers followed, and it was just as preposterous as previous years, if probably a little more entertaining. This started as just a comedy outing, but turned into a highspot fest. Team captains Ugg and Taurus’ exchange was the highlight here, as both powerhouses bealed their teammates into one another in order to bring the other down, but to no avail. There was all kinds of crazy shit here; everyone hit a big dive, Cassidy did a nonchalant balcony dive, Moretti was nearly killed in a terrifying reverse rana Tower Of Doom spot, the massive Ugg followed that up with a Phoenix Splash (!!!), the dinky Paris DeSilva hit a Shooting Star DDT (!!!), then Cassidy pinned Tony Deppen with a cradle at 25:49 to win for his team. Yes, it was silly, yes, it was overly long, but it was a ton of fun. And finally, Jonathan Gresham, Bandido, and David Starr faced off in the elimination 3-way 2019 BOLA Finals. As a triple threat, this was great stuff, they got so much out of a figure four, it was unbelievable. Starr was first eliminated after Gresham locked him in Manjigatame and started raining down hammer fists, which prompted referee Rick Knox to call for the bell for a ref stoppage elimination. This boiled down to Gresham and Bandido, and they had a nice back-and-forth, which saw The Octopus kick out of a 21 Plex. He then once again locked in the Manjigatame and started hitting the hammer fists, and Knox again teased the stoppage to great drama, but Bandido powered out with a Samoan Drop. The masked man then took Gresham up top and hit a reverse version of his Moonsault Powerslam, and hit the tournament winning 21 Plex to claim to trophy at the 23:26 mark. Bandido celebrated with his father and brother, and Dragon Lee in the post match, and promised to beat Jeff Cobb for the title in the future.

PWG is in a strange impasse at the minute; most of their key talent has been swallowed up by either AEW or NXT, and I don’t see either of their top guys, Bandido and Jeff Cobb, not being snatched up when eithers contracts with ROH are up, and where PWG goes then is anyone’s guess. I certaintly don’t see them knocking out shows of the same quality of years gone by. Of course, there’s always a chance they become a kind of unofficial developmental league for AEW. However, despite this potential black cloud, the Cali rebels produced a great show here. It was 3 and a half hours, but never dragged, and featured nothing that could be seen as less than good, and a whole bunch of great (though nothing could touch last years final, in my opinion). Also, I can’t review a BOLA without going on my annual production rant, but for God sake guys, it is 2019. Surely we’ve advanced beyond these shows being filmed on a single hardcam, and a lone handheld around ringside. It’s so RF Video circa 2002, its ridiculous. Especially when promotions such as AAW look great nowadays. Please sort the presentation of these DVD’s out. Thanks.

NDT

[orangeccreamsicles]

Dirk: => Theorize

TT: You know a lot about Sburb, don't you? TT: In the short time that I was a sprite, I cataloged as much information as I could, thinking it may come in handy. You could say that the knowledge granted to me could be categorized as "a lot". TT: That being said, I only know what a sprite would know. I’m not fucking omniscient. TT: Why? TT: I’ve been thinking about my future self.

TT: Ah. It’s not good to dwell on events out of your control or out of the realms of possibility TT: But it is still possible, is it not? TT: Under specific circumstances, I can foresee you becoming the you we were able to catch a glance of. Extremely specific circumstances. TT: And what about not becoming him, but becoming someone who ends up playing? TT: There is a greater possibility there. TT: That’s enough for me to want to do a little digging. TT: Fine. What is it you were looking to know? TT: Derse and Prospit are the two planets on which your dream self can appear, I know that already. Are there any conditions which must be met to appear there, and can they exist outside a session? TT: The game decides which planet you inhabit based, for the most part, on core parts of your personality, and just a bit of fuckery. TT: Alternates of myself have never appeared, separate from you or not, nor have any civilians, so I would deduce you must be an active player with their own form to appear. TT: I've known instances in which the moons and planets can be removed from their session along with its players, as well as instances in which a moon may be transferred to a new session, but there are no records of either Derse or Prospit existing independently from a session. TT: And my dreams? TT: They match very closely with accumulated descriptions of Derse. A purple planet, populated by black chitinous folks, violent in nature, and sensationalizing nobility not yet awakened. TT: A prince, a knight, a rogue, and a seer, tucked away in towers high above the general population, while a war stirs in the tabloids between the Dersites and Prospitians. TT: It is likely that your dream self has awoken early on Derse, but keep in mind that the possibility that these dreams are a reflection of your fears of the future taking form in rumors you’ve heard of a death game is also present. TT: Sure. TT: So. We may yet play the game. TT: We knew that the moment we realized who your future self was. TT: But the differences were large enough to disregard that future. What about now? TT: Now, it’s the same story. Nothing has changed, save for your newly acquired knowledge. TT: What about his cause of death? TT: That’s a different matter entirely. TT: Is it? Burnt to a crisp by a psionic. Have I pissed off any psionics that you know of recently? TT: The alternian empress has psionic capabilities. TT: Why the fuck would we be fighting the empress? TT: I’m not sure. TT: Who do you think it’s more likely would have killed me? An angry psionic from a separate timeline, unaffected by whatever may happen in this timeline but certainly affected by where I stick my nose and how far I take it, already known to be on bad terms, or a far off empress who barely acknowledges the Earth anymore, targeting some random fuck off already slated for death by a game created by who knows what. TT: We don’t know if it was just or heroic. TT: We can make a pretty good guess. TT: It could go either way. TT: One possibility is more likely than the other. TT: Perhaps. Don’t rule out other factors. You’ve met other psionics, we may meet more yet. TT: He was years in the future. We don’t know who killed him or for what reason. TT: We only know the cause. If that. TT: Didn’t he say you and Sollux were on relatively good terms? TT: He said that they were okay, but he fucked something up. I’d say this is as good of a fuckup as we’re going to get. TT: Fuck. I don’t want to see a worse fuckup than this. TT: Neither do I. It was pretty bad, dude. TT: Fuck off. TT: Oh, are we done? I can fuck off quite easily if you’re done wasting both of our times. TT: And by that I mean fuck off right back here, I’m not done. TT: Picking up on some of Vantas’ vocabulary, are we? TT: Pick up the pace. I may have all day but that doesn’t mean I want to spend it talking to you. TT: It’s still likely to turn out similar to the future we’ve seen. TT: It’s a possibility. One that’s more likely than, say, you turning into a murderous psychopath and killing everyone you know and love. TT: That’s comforting. TT: What else do we know? TT: He and Bo were matesprits up until his death. He and his session had yet to win. At some point he and Wig vacillated pale and pitch. TT: I can’t help but feel that last part is unimportant. TT: That’s all we know. What else do you want me to say? TT: Something more substantial than my imminent relationship drama would be nice. TT: I’ll be sure to let you know when you decide to talk about anything other than that. TT: Seriously, you do not shut up. TT: I’m lonely, I’m sad, I’m feeling angry and betrayed, can’t you find someone to vent to that isn’t me? Like Joanne! Or Roxy! Or Cass, I’m sure she’d love to know about how in the few hours after you came home and celebrated, you managed to fuck everything up! TT: Can we get back on topic? TT: Uncomfortable because you don’t want to confront your mistakes, aren’t we Dirk? TT: The future version of myself that we saw isn’t a self in which I’m able to become, at this point. TT: Correct. TT: But something similar is possible. TT: Likely, even, depending on how much of your dreams are real. TT: So. TT: So? TT: What do we do? TT: Don’t ask me, dude. you're the one this affects. I'm just the guy that runs the numbers and tries to keep you from getting too far into your own head. TT: By the way, I’m pretty sure that’s a thing you’re doing right now. TT: Is there a way to prevent the game if it’s already slotted to begin, or to stop it once it’s started? TT: Those two questions are, really, asking the same thing. TT: If it’s meant to begin, it’s already started. TT: In a sense, it’s always been running. TT: It’s already here, and all that. TT: The only solution I can see for now is to abandon this universe to be destroyed by the coming meteors, and escape to a new one. TT: Still, that is entirely hypothetical. Perhaps you’re doomed to play and it would simply follow you to your new world, dooming every subsequent place you choose to hide out in until the weight of the worlds you’ve killed drives you to face your fate. TT: Perhaps it doesn’t matter what you do. TT: ... TT: Too much? TT: I’ve been reading a lot lately. TT: You have a flair for the dramatic. TT: It has to have a beginning point, doesn’t it? TT: If it’s some sort of loop, there has to be a starting and ending point, even if they create themselves. TT: I have some theories regarding loops and Bro that you may want to hear out some time, by the way. TT: As if this conversation couldn’t get any more lighthearted. TT: The starting point would be the creation of the game itself, kickstarting events that would lead to the empowerment of the final boss, as well as the creation and destruction of the universe. TT: You’re getting a little off track. TT: Right. TT: The closest thing you could get to a starting point is the development and revitalization of old codes by the companies Skaianet and Crockercorp, depending on the universe. TT: Of course, those were only found, not created. TT: Those both sound pretty fucking familiar, dude. TT: They sure fucking do, man. TT: So Jane and Jade or Jake are responsible for the apocalypse game? TT: They had nothing to do with it in timelines I’ve studied. Plans for their development and release were far in development before either of them would have even be aware of their inheritance.  TT: So they could be in development now. TT: If they are, they won’t be released for a while yet. It’s kind of a big fucking deal in any timeline when they’re announced. TT: Great. TT: So the bottom line is, either I’m fucking delusional and seeing things where they’re not, TT: Entirely likely if you ask me. TT: I didn’t. TT: Or, we’re completely fucked, my dream self is awake, one of those companies are going to release a death game that we either ignore and go down with the rest of the world, or play and have an extremely high if not guaranteed chance of dying in some other horrific manner. TT: That sounds about right. TT: And even if we survive, that only heightens the chance that I’m going to fuck up yet again and piss Sock off enough that he burns me to a crisp. TT: The future is bright. TT: Fuck! TT: Lmao. The chances of any of these things happen individually are low enough, but the longer you go on the worse the chances get. TT: BUT. TT: If you’re so worked up about this then we can plant a copy of myself in Mom’s lab. TT: Skaianet has a subdivision studying and predicting meteor paths, that’s what she does. TT: Kind of suspicious that a company responsible for the end of the world VIA meteors has a branch dedicated to looking at them. TT: Or, it’s a major company that deals with all kinds of fields, the largest of all being the development of new technology, which happens to line up with the massive influx of advancements regarding space travel that communication with trollkind has brought upon us as a society.  TT: I like my theory better. TT: You would. TT: This is something that you’ve had on your mind for a while, yeah? TT: I’ll tell you right now, it’s not going to happen, and if it does, we’ll be able to figure it out in time to make a real plan about it. TT: So stop fucking worrying about it. TT: If there were a problem, I’d tell you. TT: You’ve made sure of that.

[eternalsterekrecs]

any new sterek highschool au?

Well, our absolute favs are under our High School AU tag but, because we don’t want you to lack anything, here is a rec of doom (there’s more than 30 fics here) with all the other fics I’ve read in the last few months/years! - C

HIGH SCHOOL AU

Just Pretend by dragon_temeraire

Stiles tells his dad he has a boyfriend. The problem is, he doesn’t actually have one.

Something New Is Going to Happen by dragon_temeraire

Stiles accidentally discovers that their school mascot is super cute.

All the broken hearts in the world still beat by dragon_temeraire

Stiles totally needs to make Lydia Martin jealous. Yeah. And his best chance is to convince star lacrosse player Derek Hale to (fake) date him.

Smile On The Sidelines by clotpolesonly

Derek was not pining.

Not to say that he didn’t miss Stiles, didn’t want to be with him at that moment (or literally any moment, to be quite honest), but he wasn’t one of those obnoxious clingy people who lost track of the world as soon his boyfriend was out of his sight.

It was just a basketball game anyway.

“Five Days in Detention” (A Future Song by Stiles Stilinski) by alisvolatpropiis

It’s still preseason, sure, but he needs to be practicing. He led the team to the State semifinals last year, and he’s determined to not only make it to the finals this year, but to win the title. He should be on the field right now, practicing his play calls and prepping for next week’s season opener against Saint Pius.

And he can’t do that if he’s wasting his time in detention with these losers. There are a couple of burnouts lazing over some seats by the window, one kid with his face on a desk, hood over his head, and a few Goth kids are sitting in the back corner, looking surly and morose. Maybe you wouldn’t be so miserable if you didn’t listen to such shitty music, he thinks, turning towards his usual seat in the back of the room.

He pauses for the briefest of moments when he sees who’s already sitting there, in the second-to-last row, black-clad limbs spread out, acoustic guitar in his lap, long fingers casually plucking at the strings.

Stiles Stilinski.

How to Woo Your Local Omega by alocalband

Stiles knows a pity gift when he sees one. Mostly because that’s all he’s ever gotten from anyone since the moment he hit puberty.

Five Times Derek Literally Falls for Stiles (and One Time… They Both Fall) by myhomeboy_stilinski

Five times Derek is a failwolf and literally falls for Stiles Stilinski.And one time they fall together.

Warning: A little bit cracky and contains meddling.

Try Again by dragon_temeraire

Derek has to egg a house to be part of the popular group. Too bad the house ends up being the Sheriff’s.

Sleeping Next To You Is Like Magic by LadyDrace

Stiles and Derek meet the summer before senior year. Stiles can’t sleep, Derek helps with that, and there’s a lot less cuddling and a lot more emotional crises than you’d think.

Or:

Stiles’ feelings happen so much, and learning how to deal with them takes him a little while. Good thing Derek is happy to wait.

Shut Up And Dance With Me by maiNuoire

Stiles has been in love with Derek forever. Senior Prom feels like his last chance to do something about it, but he’s a bundle of nerves. And then, inspiration strikes.

made from the heart by bleep0bleep

Derek has been crushing on Stiles for awhile, and thinks maybe this Christmas season he’ll tell him how he feels. He’s got a great present too, except when Stiles gives him a thoughtful handmade present, Derek is pretty much screwed.

~

Stiles smiles at Derek. “It was just a nice thought, you know? I just think gifts that people take their time to make are just so sweet.”“Handmade,” Derek says faintly.

Like James Dean, Only Sadder by 42hrb

The star of the Beacon Hills High School baseball team and Beacon Hills resident bad boy probably have nothing in common, right?

atom to atom by jadore_hale

“So, you’re telling me that you hate Derek so much that you wouldn’t leap at the chance to jump his bones?”

“That’s different!” Stiles cried.

“How exactly?”

“Because unfortunately for me, Derek’s hotter than the Earth’s mantle. All we need is one rough hate-fuck— Preferably in the chem lab, role-playing sexy chemist while he bends me over one of the tables—and I’ll get him out of my system. That’s as far as our relationship will ever go.”

Stiles glanced across the cafeteria to where Derek was still fail-eating his lunch and sighed so put out.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make fun of Derek eating organic baby carrots.”

don’t go breakin’ my heart [i couldn’t if i tried] by crossroadswrite

Contrary to popular belief, Derek Hale – co-captain of the basketball team and AP student who volunteers in the library – isn’t actually as smooth as people might think.

In a Straight Line Down by standinginanicedress

“So you want to go to Prom with me just so you can get a plastic crown and a fifty dollar gift card to Outback Steakhouse.”

Stiles sets his jaw. He wants to go to prom with Derek because he wants to go to prom with Derek. But, of course, he’s stubborn and prideful and can’t admit to Derek how it’s barely been twelve hours since they officially broke up and he’s already barely handling it as it is, so he just raises his chin in the air and says, “yes.”

we should just kiss (like real people do) by i_am_girlfriday

Stiles is the social zero of the sophomore class. Derek is the much cooler junior who befriends Stiles anyway.

Shut Me Down by lazykisses

Even when Derek’s an asshole, which is 75% of the time (90% on a rainy day), with his deadpan humor and cocky eyebrows and his annoyingly vague text messages (like that one time Stiles asked him if he’d studied for Chemistry and Derek replied with “hn”. What the hell does ‘hn’ even mean?), Stiles doesn’t mind. And that kinda scares him.

It’s Too Early For This by thepsychicclam

Derek loves his job at the coffee shop, especially because Stiles comes in for coffee before early Saturday morning lacrosse practices. The problem is that Derek is too shy to do anything about his crush, and the situation is not helped by the rivalry between the basketball and lacrosse teams.

Hotsky to Trotsky by paintedrecs

Derek had his future mapped out: there’d be graduation, followed by college, followed by (he hoped) a good grad school, then a career as a professor whose students didn’t spend their time flicking paper footballs at each other and obsessing over their dating lives. He had good friends, a good family, and no time to focus on distractions like high school gossip or relationships.

He hadn’t factored Stiles Stilinski - lacrosse player, class clown, part of the popular crowd, currently spending his entire day staring at Derek and smiling - into his plans.

more by bibliosexual

It starts when Derek is sitting in study hall and the guy ahead of him–-Stiles something, the Polish kid with all the moles–-mutters, “Ugh, what’s sixty percent of fifty-five?”

“Thirty-three,” Derek says without having to think about it. He’s always been good at math.

“Oh, thanks, dude,” Stiles says. “I forgot my calculator, and Mr. Harris is a dick who won’t let me go get it.”

“No problem,” Derek says.

He assumes that’s it, that’s the end of the conversation, but Stiles catches up to him in the hall after class, scuffs his sneaker against the floor and says, “Hey, so, you’re really good at math. Like, you solved that in your head, right? No calculator?“

"Yeah,” Derek says, and Stiles bites his lip, asks, “Do you maybe wanna study with me later, in the library?”

Derek does.

i wanna dance with somebody (who loves me) by bleep0bleep

Derek gets in an accident and loses a few years of his memory; suddenly everything is different— he’s not a freshman loser anymore, but a popular senior, captain of the basketball team, a shoo-in for prom king, too, and he should have everything he’s ever wanted— except he doesn’t seem to be friends with Stiles anymore.

Bro-lentine’s Day by WhoNatural

It’s actually pretty cool that Derek came back to school after a summer eating spinach and lifting small trains or whatever to become a guardian angel to the easy targets of BHHS.

Don’t Judge a Derek By His Cover by captaintinymite

Stiles doesn’t care about the rumors surrounding Beacon Hills High School’s resident bad boy, Derek Hale. In fact, he thinks the rumors are total crap. Of course, being secretly in love with someone has a way of clouding one’s judgment.

However, he knew for a fact that Derek liked books. So when the two paired up for a final English project, he was excited (but also a little terrified).

But you know what they say…never judge a book by its cover. The same goes for people.

Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon by secondstar

Being a teenager sucks. Being a werewolf teenager sucks even more. With a life full of holding back who he really is, not having any privacy whatsoever, and the seemingly sudden appearance of one Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale’s life just got a whole lot harder.

(I Hate to Be) The One to Ruin the Night by wishingonalightningbolt

High school senior Derek Hale only has one goal for the rest of his time left at BHHS: avoid Stiles Stilinski. He’s wreaked enough havoc as it is, having spent all summer breaking Derek’s heart. Everything would be better for both of them if they just never saw each other again.

-0-

Derek doesn’t plan on ever getting mixed up with Scott McCall and his little gang of idiot friends. In fact, if he knew to avoid it, he would, but he guesses he just isn’t smart enough. Unfortunate, considering the consequences.

John Hughes Did Not Direct My Life by nascentgalaxies

Stiles and Derek are childhood friends who drifted apart. When Stiles joins the lacrosse team against his will, the universe (with a little help from Laura and Lydia) chooses to push them back together.

But Then What... by Stoney

Senior year is almost over, and all Stiles needs to do is keep his head down to survive. A teacher calls in a favor, leaving him stuck tutoring Derek Hale, one of the most popular jocks in school and a member of a group of douchecanoes who have bullied Stiles for years. He's someone Stiles totally hates. Totally. Like, doesn't like him even a little bit. DEFINITELY isn't attracted to him.

Except that is a total lie. Fuck his life, seriously.

I know you love and hate me too by trilliastra

“Right.” Derek coughs and Stiles knows he realized his mistake. Good – he thinks, maybe next time he'll learn not to make Stiles fall in love with him. “Hum – we are almost finishing here, John.”

“I'll be in my bedroom.” Stiles says. “And his first name is Sheriff!”

Fucking Derek Hale.

Wait For It by otatop

Funny, how you can exist adjacent to someone through elementary, middle, and high school and not really know them. Funny, how Stiles had always had some strange crush on Derek without actually being his friend.

It’s like he’s all that by MemeKon

Stiles is different. Stiles is not nice under any definition of the word, he’s such an asshole. Sure, he’s a good guy deep down, he punched Jackson square in the jaw when he mocked the McCall kid for an asthma attack that one time, and Derek knows he helped Erica Reyes get that video of her seizure taken down, but he’s so—

"Fuck off, Derek." Stiles tells him without sparing him a glance when Derek sits next to him on chemistry. "I’m not up to play She’s All That with you, dude."

-yeah.

(School crushes are so complicated.)

The Scheming Rhymes of Romance by sofonisba_found

Stiles currently was, and had been, Derek's poetic muse for years. Not that Stiles was really all that aware of that fact.

But when Stiles does find out about it their senior year of high school, he's pretty okay with it.

Alright, so he is definitely a lot more than okay with it.

A story in which Derek writes copious amounts of poetry, Stiles is very appreciative of said poetry as well as Derek's smile, and all of their friends are oddly and extremely invested in seeing these two get their act together.

Easy Alpha by interropunct

Easy A/Teen Wolf AU. Wherein, Derek Hale is the high school hussy, Jackson and Scott really need to learn to use their inside voices. And, contrary to popular belief, everyone is still a virgin.

[theheavymetalmama]

I’m going to regret this...

Because old memes die hard...

Oh, I’m going to get some riveting emails for this, aren’t I?

I realize this is a volatile subject and that no shortage of people would sooner dunk their heads in a giant anthill before bringing this up in any forum or discussion. And for once, I agree. This is something I really don’t want to talk about, as I’ve been down this particular rabbit hole before and all I got was nothing but grief, with some people still butthurt at me and still give me rations of shit to this day because I had the audacity to suggest that if AAA developers so desperately crave an audience expansion like they always bang on about then maybe they should reach out to audiences besides young straight white men and small boys and that women and girls~as in one half of the world’s whole fucking population~would be a good place to start. Seriously guys (you know who you are,) it’s been one third of a decade since then. Cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it!

Anyway, like I said, I’d much rather not talk about this because no matter what, I’m going to get all forms of shit and glue-huffing guff blasted at me from both ends. In one corner it’s the immovable objects that fight tooth and nail to keep gaming in one specific way and rail against any and all forms of change and innovation while screeching “SJW pandering” at any game where the main character doesn’t look like Nathan Drake or one of his eight billion derivatives and then wonder why gaming is still dismissed as a childish waste of time, and in the other corner it’s the red-pill swallowing, fedora tipping Star Wars haters who branded a movie where Tom Hardy walks into the mist with nothing but a knife and a small bag of homemade explosives against a tank boiling over with gun-toting lunatics and emerged unscathed as “feminist propaganda.” No, fucking really, that actually happened.

Basically what I’m saying is that I really don’t want to do this because all in all it’s a headache I really don’t fucking need right now....but this needs to be said all the same.

So lately there’s been a very loud demand to keep politics and entertainment separate. Everything from movies to comic books and everything in between. Those are discussions in and of themselves, so let’s stick with video-games for the moment. On one hand, I can certainly see where these people are coming from. They say that brevity is the soul of wit, and if that is indeed the case then for all its’ pros the gaming industry employs some of the most witless motherfuckers in entertainment when it comes to writing. Let’s face it, even the good writers in gaming aren’t exactly good at subtlety. However, the fish starts to stink pretty fast once this falls under scrutiny. Let me make one thing perfectly clear.

You can’t remove politics from video games.

No, you can’t. And before you try and argue that video games never had politics before, with the possible exception of Pong and a few Atari games you’re wrong. Politics, or more to the point political views and ideologies, have been part of all forms of media since the dawn of media and entertainment itself and video-games are no exception. You can’t remove politics from games anymore than you can remove the heart from the human body and expect it to still function. Now you can argue how on the nose or how politics and ideals are presented, and you certainly don’t have to agree with them, but they can’t be removed. In fact, some of the best games, movies, comics, books, and whatever are heavily political. Don’t believe me? Well, lace up your shoes and grab your backpack, because I’m about to take you to school. Let’s start with Gears of War.

“What?” some of you are probably thinking. “Gears of War? A game about double-muscled linebackers shooting aliens? Come on, that’s not political at all!”

Oh yes it is. Not only is there commentary between the action set-pieces about how the military mindset of ‘Shoot first, shoot some more, blow shit up, and for good measure bomb them to the stone age and back, then maybe ask some questions’ is a short term gain and a long term loss, but throughout the games there’s an underlying theme about how humanity’s unquenchable thirst for natural resources is what doomed the whole planet in the first place. In this case, a fictional superfuel called ‘imulsion.’ What starts as a ‘dwarves of Moria digging too greedily and too deep and awakening something dark and dreadful’ situation gradually gets worse and humans start getting sick from constant exposure and by the time Gears 3 comes along it turns into a full blown zombie apocalypse. It’s only after humanity swears the stuff off forever and seeks alternative fuel sources when things finally start to get goo...when things finally start to get bet...when things finally start to get less shit.

Still not convinced?

Skyrim ~ The future of both this land and the Empire rides on who wins the civil war. So which side are you on? The side of the Empire that’s ruled and controlled by snobbish elitists who look down on others? Or the side of the Stormcloaks lead by a xenophobic asshat who segregates people because he thinks Skyrim and everything in it belong to Nords and ONLY Nords? Hmm, elitism or racism. Choices, choices...

Bioshock, 1 & 2. ~ Hey, ever read Atlas Shrugged by the objectivist author and real-life Loony Toon Ayn Rand? Guess what, these games are going to show you how that and right-wing ideologies are big steaming piles of whale shit while you kill spliced up mutants that used to be the people who followed said ideas!

Bioshock Infinite ~ Oh, so you thought that from the first two games and the first half of this game that right-wing politics and theocratical rule are bogus and that the answer lays with the left-leaning Vox Populi, right? Guess what? Fooled you! They’re just as bad as the other guys!

Final Fantasy VII ~ Mega-corporations are greedy monsters who care so little for the planet or the people who live on it that they try and crossbreed humans and monsters by locking them in a glass cage and forcing them to bump uglies (fucking really) and humanity’s only chance is to stop the corporate establishment and bring the green back to the Earth! Oh, what’s that? Cloud, Tifa, Barret, and so on all seem less badass now that you know they’re actually tree-hugging hippies? Too bad, they are.

Resident Evil ~ Speaking of mega-corporations, look what happens when a company that makes Wayne Enterprises look like a simple mom and pop shop is left unchecked and deregulated to the point that they can do whatever they want and almost get away with it; like create an unkillable super-solider to sell to the highest bidder but can’t because the serum to create said super-soldier only works on a handful of genetically specific people and turns everyone else into flesh-eating zombies, mutant dogs, and other forms of Eldritch nightmares that eventually gets so bad the US military is forced to nuke an entire city. Oops...

Doom ~ Monsters and demons from Hell are a motherfucker, but they’re only attacking because a greedy mega-corporation (do you sense a recurring theme here?) decided that wind and solar energy just wasn’t good enough and decided to harvest energy from Hell. Who in the name of Zeus’ BUTTHOLE thought that was a good idea!?

Sonic the Hedgehog ~ Come on. The environmental and pro-conservation messages are so NOT subtle that the Saturday morning cartoon made it the central theme.

The Fallout Series ~ We’d be here all fucking day.

Deus Ex, Beyond Good and Evil, Just Cause, Dead Rising, Call of Duty when it was still good, Mirror’s Edge, Grand Theft Auto, Starcraft, Metal Gear Solid, Saints Row, the fucking Mario Bros., I could go on and on. Politics are everywhere. You can’t remove them from games or media in general anymore than you could stop the tide. Again, you can argue the merits of said politics, the subtlety or lack thereof, and you most certainly don’t have to agree with them, but removing them is not only impossible on a grand scale...it’s just an outright bad idea. Remember Gears of War? They tried removing the politics inherent in the series once and tried to make it a typical AAA shooty-shooty bang-bang dudebro-pandering power fantasy, because the studio that bought the franchise and booted the OG developers away listened to their focus groups of 12 year olds and frat boys said that games making them think made their heads do an owie. The result was Gears of War: Judgement, and there’s only one way to describe Gears of War: Judgement.

And it’s not just video-games. Hey, you know that comic ‘The Dark Knight Returns’ who’s more rabid fans and supporters basically want you dead if you don’t validate their obsession with what’s maybe the 14th best Batman story? Well if you want politics removed from comics then you’d better run that shit along with Watchmen, Demon in a Bottle, What’s Funny About Truth Justice and the American Way, and countless other great comics through a fucking paper shredder and burn the remains because there’s more political commentary and media satire in The Dark Knight Returns than there is Batman.

Or how about the movies? Keeping with comics, let’s go with Iron Man, the movie that kicked off the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Oh, a silver spoon-in-mouth billionaire who’s genius intellect is only matched by his monumental ego and his affinity for booze and booty has him so distracted that he doesn’t notice a high-up in his own company is selling weapons to terrorists? Yeah, that’s not political or topical at all! *chuckles*

I honestly could go on, but I think by now you get the picture. Politics are in all forms of media, even if you don’t realize it. Some of the best works of fiction are also heavily political in one shape or form, and the same goes for some of the worst fiction.

Now, I’m only speaking from personal experience here. But one thing I’ve noticed is that when someone says “Keep politics out of video-games/comic books/movies/whatever,” what they almost always mean is “stop talking about problems of women/minorities.” It’s not always the case, but it’s enough of the case to seem like it’s always the case. So Horizon: Zero Dawn was a great game, right? Yeah, it was. But despite selling nearly 3 million copies, a sizable chunk of people never played it and never will because they took one look at the female protagonist and dismissed it as ‘SJW propaganda.’ Which is completely idiotic because the game never brings up social justice at all and the fact the main character is a woman only comes into play during one minor part of the whole story.

That’s not an isolated incident either. It happens pretty much every time a game comes out where the main character isn’t either a talking animal or a 30-something white dude with brown hair, blue eyes, and a bit of stubble on his face. Virginia because the main character was a black woman, Dishonored 2 because one of the playable characters was a woman, DragonAge Inquisition because they argued that women swinging swords wasn’t realistic in a game where dragons and magic exists, everyone dresses like a Judas Priest album cover, there’s two fucking moons, and if you wanted to you could have gay sex with this guy.

And yes, you are the bottom in that relationship because.....fucking duh!

Or for a more recent example, the people who lost their fucking minds because the multiplayer mode in Call of Duty: World War II will feature female soldiers. Because according to these guys the single player mode being a bigger sausage party than Sausage Party as well as whiter than a Starbucks in Toronto just isn’t enough. Oh, and by the way? Anybody who thinks that women and black people didn’t fight in World War II, I hope a history buff as well as the still-living vets of WWII line up and take turns slapping the stupid out of you.

Now you can argue how big this particular group of asshats actually are, but they do exist and they do this shit on a routine basis. They come about all the time and they always the same tired-ass “I’m not racist, but” type of logic when talking about keeping politics out of games. See, they don’t actually care about politics in games. They just don’t like it when someone who doesn’t think like them and isn’t them gets what they want for a change, like a game having a gender option, a female body-type besides “underwear model” being represented, or acknowledging that more than just white dudes fought, bled, and died during historic events, they always find something that doesn’t fit their own narrow worldview and personal “but papa AAA industry said I was his special little snowflake” persecution complex to bitch about. I suppose its’ no surprise, considering these are the same people who are still fighting the tired-ass censorship war from the 90′s during a time where sex MMOs are a dime a dozen and vile, repugnant shit like Hatred, Ethnic Cleansing, and ZOG are available for anyone to just download and play.

But I’m getting sidetracked.

Politics can’t be removed from games. Or comics, or movies, or any form of media. ALL media is political. You can argue the merits and subtlety (or lack thereof) of politics all day as well as debate how on the nose they are, and you certainly don’t have to agree with them. But you’re seriously going to demand that politics be removed from video-games while you have copies of Bioshock, Deus Ex, or The Dark Knight Returns sitting up on your shelf while insisting that politics and social issues were never part of comics/games/whatever in a world where a movie based on the real life event of how a writer used Superman to take down the Ku Klux Klan is being made, I’d say that you’re being just a bit disingenuous OR you’ve been hiding down in the safety bunker for too long and it’s high time you came up for some fresh air.

[charlion-em]

Voltron Pokémon AU

...that I’ll never actually write so here is a summary/bullet point/outline thing

Summary:

Wild Pokemon in the Altea region begin to turn up without any power, unable to fight, and completely helpless. Professor Sam Holt and his children are the first to discover them, and together they search for a cure.

Meanwhile, Team Galra finds wild pokemon will no longer fill their needs and begin to steal the quintessence from trained pokemon. Once word spreads, five unsuspecting trainers are summoned by the elite four to help defeat the threat. Not only must team Galra be stopped, but they need to discover a way to return the stolen quintessence to the pokemon.

There is a rumor of an ancient pokemon named Voltron, a pokemon strong enough to defeat Team Galra and restore stolen quintessence. Too bad it is only a rumor. Or is it?

With the guidance of the mysterious Allura and Coran of the elite four, the five trainers set out to save the Altea Region.

Pairings: Implied past Keith/Shiro. Probably Heith and either Pance or Shance as endgame, but the romance is such a minor background thing I never put much into it. Could just stay platonic.

Katie/Pidge:  grass/bug types

Everything was peaceful in the Altrea region, so much so no one would believe young Katie Holt when she discovered pokemon unable to fight.

Her father, Professor Holt, thinks it is a simple anomaly and keeps it in his lab, “It can't survive in the wild. It's a miracle it has managed this long.”

Professor Holt and his colleagues in town, including their gym leader, Sendak, come to the conclusion it is a new disease.

But Katie isn't having it, something is wrong.

Seriously wrong.

But when Katie discovers a 2nd, then 3rd… she declares there is something amiss. But what?

What could cause pokemon to lose their power?

Even if no one will want to believe her, her father supports her decision to go in search of more data. 

Determined to find the source of the weakened wild pokemon, Katie set out with just her trusted pokemon and her wits.

She heads further East, back into the wooded mountains where she discovered the first helpless Pokemon

Sam Holt, her father is unable to reach her after the first three days

Her brother sends word to his best friend, Shiro, in hopes of keeping her safe- but Shiro is on the West side of the region. Matt is already on a research mission, and alters his course to try and find and help Katie.

Shiro: Steel/Fighting types

Across the region, Shiro discovers a weakened wild pokemon.

Despite once being one of the top authorities on Pokemon, he is retired from training and doesn't have the supplies to care for it.

Yes, he was a legend by the time he was 19

He tries to call Matt, but the phone system has been on the fritz for the last couple weeks.

He takes the injured pokemon to the poke center in his town, but they can not help.

“Everything is fine, maybe it is just weak and needs trained,” the nurse means well, but Shiro can sense her inexperience.

He may have let people believe he was dead...

After a bad breakup, he moved and never responded to media requests

Same media ran a story saying he was dead

He didn’t care, so he didn’t correct them

Only the Holts knew he was alive

Matt likes to call him “The youngest hermit I know”

Keith: Fire/poison types

Lives in the town on the outskirts of natural hot springs.

They are dangerous and highly acidic, but he enjoys the pokemon found in the area. And it is quiet. Quiet enough he can relax and enjoy his solitary life.

A few weeks after moving here he began to feel a pull towards the cave system behind the springs.

He spends his days exploring and mapping, but can't pinpoint why he is drawn to the area.

The last thing he needs is Shiro showing up with a pokemon with a mysterious injury. But also- Shiro is ALIVE?

Oh man, is he pissed and happy and completely overwhelmed

Hunk: Rock/Fairy types

Was on track to be a top poke engineer, but he decided a quiet life would be better for him.

He still occasionally tinkers, but doesn't want the attention which would come from his inventions.

He currently runs a battle restaurant and pokemon spa in the largest city in the region.

Everything was going swell- his best bro worked across the street, business was booming, and he was able to try new recipes each week.

Then, the powerful trainer, and current leader of the elite four, Zarkon shows up, demanding a dish he doesn't have the ingredients for.

Denying Zarkon would spell disaster for his business, he would surely be shunned.

So, he does the sensible thing and heads west to gather the rare ingredients from the acidic hot springs. Anything to save his restaurant from certain doom.

Lance: Water/Flying

Just won (okay it was passed down to him from his grandpa) the title of Gym leader.

His gym is right across from Hunk’s restaurant.

Battling has been hard

He lost one and gave up a gym badge

Hunk tries to get him to understand he can lose now and then. Thats why there are badges

He has a lot to prove, to himself and his family.

And hey, running off with Hunk is just the right sort of distraction.

Team Galra

Team Galra, in their matching purple uniforms, harvest quintessence from stolen Pokemon.

Their leader, Zarkon is a power hungry asshole who is using the quintessence to power his pokemon.

With Haggar’s magic, he is able to transfer the quintessence from wild pokemon.

But that isn't enough, and eventually he becomes determined to be the only person with pokemon able to battle.

Allura: Fairy type

Unable to use the phone system, and on the run from Zarkon, she sends letters to the trainers she has been watching.

They are, she believes, the only chance they have to stop Zarkon and save the pokemon.

The Elite four has been comprised by Zarkon

She uses random trainers to deliver letters as they travel looking for the lions

giving them tips ext

eventually will meet up with them

Coran:  ?

Protects Allura (she doesn't really need it though).

He is on the run with her, but is sent to find the trainers while she tries to locate the Galra base.

And the only way to restore the quintessence is to find the legendary pokemon, Voltron.

Which is actually the temporary formation of 5 separate lion pokemon. (Which the 5 paladins find on their journey)

It has a special move which restores stolen quintessence

But they need to locate Team Galra’s stores first

Starts with their intro chapters- basically the above minus Allura and Coran. Then:

Hunk and Lance show up as Keith and Shiro are examining the injured pokemon

The first lion is in the cave system near Keith’s home

Hunk is directed by someone at the pokecenter to see Keith about the ingredients he is looking for

Keith is more than happy to escort Hunk into the hot spings areas as a distraction from Shiro

And he charges for tours- gotta make a living somehow

Lance tags along- banter with Kieth

Hunk encourages Lance to not antagonize Keith since they need his help

Shiro comes with so Keith doesn’t run off before they solve/help the pokemon

Lance is nosy and asks whats up- is amazed when he finds out this is SHIRO

his hero

and he wants tips/ext on how to be a good gym leader but doesn't know how to ask and also HOW is Shiro alive? Where did he go? Did he fake his death?

Or was it all a rumor that got out of control??

While searching for the ingredients, they run into Team Galra Grunts

Ignore each other- Keith mutters about weirdo tourists

May have also been a jab at Lance

Find a cave with the right ingredients

follow/ext

Find Lion #1-- Blue

It won’t fight any of their pokemon, just stares at the group

Grunts show up

they fight and win- duh

Lance approaches the lion and it lets him touch it.

Hunk suggests using a ball

Lance catches it

He is silent on the way back to town, how could a pokemon like that choose him?

He can barely handle his gym

They (mostly Shiro and Hunk) discus what pokemon it is

Keith reminds them of the legend about the lions and mentions some writings he’s seen in the caves

Back East, Coran finds Katie.

She just took down a bunch of Galra Grunts and is working on analyzing the few files they had on them

Coran tells her what he knows (about Zarkon)

They meet up with Allura on the way down the mountain

Allura stresses the dangers of what is happening

Coran and Katie head West

Allura goes south to try to locate the other lions

Hunk wants to go home now that he has his ingredients- gotta save his restaurant

Lance agrees- wonders how Blue will handle at the gym

Keith and Shiro ask about heading there too

They hope to find answers at the research facility there

As they travel, Coran and Katie join them

They took a boat down the river to save time

Yes, it weirds them out that Coran knows who they are

“How is this good in the Elite Four”- Lance, Probably

Katie gives the info she gathered to Shiro

Okay, Keith is pissed because it is CLEAR she knew he was alive

They locate Lion 2 (Green/Katie) and 3 (Yellow/Hunk) on the way back to the main city

Mostly thanks to Allura’s secretive guidance and odd insistence of which trainer approach which lion

And okay- why are they trusting them?

Hunk: Because they are less scary than Zarkon

Shiro works with Coran to decipher Allura’s 3rd letter

Lance and Katie go find the Green Lion near the next town while the others train

Hunk and Keith go to the abandoned mines to their south to find Yellow

Hunk frets about his restaurant

Keith offers support

Galra Grunts and a boss at each Lion

4th Lion is found to the North of the main city

Red is temperamental and refuses Keith

As they argue about what to do, Zarkon shows up

Huge battle

Zarkon’s Pokemon are way stronger than normal

think robeasts

Red comes to defend them

Whoops butt

Zarkon escapes

Go to town

Here about trainers who’s pokemon suddenly can’t battle

Hunk invites them to his restaurant

Frets about Zarkon

Lance has a bunch of trainers waiting to fight him

oooooops

Shiro gives him encouragement 

Lance decides to battle one trainer then call it a day

Lots of chat while eating

Keith opts to help Hunk in the kitchen to avoid Shiro

Lance picks Shiro’s brain on various topics

Lets it slip Hunk has some cool poke’gadgets

And yes, Shiro is very interested in the incubator thank you very much

Katie and Lance argue over the best pokemon training spots

She also has some ideas to improve the incubator

Hunk gives up trying to keep them away from his workshop downstairs

Distracts them temporarily with food

Allura shows up as they finish eating

And omg Hunk is an amazing cook

She tells them the last lion is in the city

It’s why Zarkon was hanging around

Black Lion is under the city

Maze of tunnels ext

Lots of Grunts

Allura and Coran stayed up top to fight Zarkon should he show up

Get Black Lion

Haggar and Grunts block their way out

Her pokemon are way stronger too

Hard fight, they win

Allura and Coran are missing when they return

A letter at the restaurant for them to train and figure out how to form Voltron

Train

Battle Restaurant, so plenty of opponents without needing to go out looking

Struggle over forming Voltron

Is the legend even true?

Lots of arguments between the five

Shiro and Katie team up to get them to work together

Shiro convinces Lance to try again

Katie real talks with Keith

She tells him to grow up and get over Shiro

And he has no reason to be upset over anything because he broke up with Shiro

Lance may have overheard and is a little jealous

Hunk is the one who finally calms Keith down enough to try Voltron again

He basically tells Keith to live in the now and not the past

They go outside and find a field

Get Voltron YAY

Damn that is one large pokemon

How do we control it?

Separates

Train some more

Take a break

Interlude chapter

Lance works on his gym

feels much more confident now

Hunk and Katie tinker a bit

Shiro disapears

Katie goes to watch/help Lance

Ends up being the gym helper who fights trainers before getting to the leader

Not many make it to Lance

Hunk shows Keith how to cook some basic dishes

Katie shows up just in time to eat those dishes

Lance and Shiro talk about his time “dead”

Shiro asks about his family and what his plans are for the gym

They figure out how to get their lion pokemon to merge and form Voltron

It gets easier

and lasts longer

They learn to control it

Test out returning quintessence to pokemon

It works!

They travel, trying to restore as many wild pokemon as they can

Allura finds them

Urges to go on the offensive against Zarkon

Otherwise, they will never win

They find Zarkon’s secret base

except it isn’t secret

its the elite four

he’s taken over the whole thing

Allura and Coran were the only ones to escape/oppose him

They fight their way through

Zarkon is at the end

fight through very strong Galra Grunts and Officers

All with altered pokemon which are very strong

They fight Haggar and Zarkon together

Form Voltron to defeat them

Almost lose

But they win

They set up a restorative center in the building next to Hunk’s restaurant

Trainers and researchers bring their pokemon for healing 

Katie’s dad comes, apologizes for not believing her

Turns out their town’s gym leader, Sendak, was on team Galra and mislead them

Lance no longer feels like a fraud for being a gym leader

Katie offers to stay and help run it

Shiro is, well, in the news again. He debates running, but needs to face it

After this, he knows he needs to stay and help research

Plus, he made some great friends

Hunk’s battle restaurant is busier than ever

People want to battle the legendary pokemon

Keith says he will return to his shack by the hot springs

Hunk asks if he’d rather stay with him

To help with the restaurant. Totally just that.

Keith smiles and agrees, though it wouldn’t be just to help

Allura and Coran set to fixing the elite four

Ha, It got less detailed and more loopy towards the end. oh well. IDK what happened to Matt. I forget what he was going to do... oh well. Just another plot whole to go with this. I remember I had something planned for one of Hunk’s inventions, but I can’t remember WHAT.

I was going to write this for the voltron big bang, but it was more than I could handle at the time so I dropped out. I even had the outline mostly done, but I know my limitations... and well, after writing it all out I realized I wasn’t going to stay interested in it long enough to write it fully. It needs a lot of work with the details and names of things.

Feel free to use this in part or whole for your own fic, just please credit back.

[smuffed]

“Leading the Sheep to Slaughter” - Survivor: Game Changers Episode 2 Recap

This season has started off great. While this episode may not have been the most exciting, I love seeing these people back on my TV, and for the time being that’s enough to keep me happy. 

So the episode starts off with the not-so-shocking twist of the two tribes swapping into three. I gotta say, the two-to-three tribe swap is starting to feel a little gimmicky. When they did it in Cambodia, it was new and exciting. When they brought it back for Millennials vs Gen-X it was cool, but seemed unnecessary. Now, it’s lost its luster. However, I fully expect some more wacky swaps and twists along the way, considering the theme of this season. I’m all for anything that keeps contestants on their toes, but let’s not all pretend we didn’t see this swap coming.

We end up with three very lopsided tribes when it comes to who is from which original tribe. That doesn’t exactly lend itself to the most interesting strategy, as evidenced by this episode. However, this episode showed us some fun and interesting interactions that we’ve come to expect from an all-stars season. JT abandoning newNuku’s raft to raid their camp on an idol hunt was a fun idea, but maybe not the smartest. I mean, he couldn’t have made it more obvious that he was looking for an idol. He was out there for so long you can see the sun starting to set throughout the scene. Not exactly subtle, bro.

Alright, let’s talk about that goat scene, because there’s a lot to unpack there. I’ve never been in a situation remotely similar to the brutal conditions of Survivor, so it’s hard for me to judge anyone’s actions here. They’ve been out there for over a week, so their instincts were probably kicking in, but once the adrenaline wore off, the idea of slaughtering a baby goat became less appealing. And I’m not entirely sure it was the contestants’ decision not to eat the goats. I can only imagine the PR nightmare CBS would face if they not only let these guys kill a baby goat but also showed them doing it on national TV. I wouldn’t be surprised if the tribe’s change of heart was at least partially influenced by the on-site producers. Of course, the real star of this scene was Sandra. Our cutthroat mama had no qualms about eating the baby and its mother. The rest of the tribe seemed pretty turn off by her attitude, which isn’t a great sign going forward. Her “anyone but me” strategy seems to apply to more than just the votes in this game. But honestly, it’s not surprising. Sandra’s no stranger to slaughtering goats.

Once newMana lost the immunity challenge, it’s a foregone conclusion that Hali or Caleb, as the only members of Mana 1.0, would be voted out. And with Tai and Caleb being so close, it seemed like he would be safe. Unfortunately for Caleb, though, Tai got played like a fiddle. Culpepper was able to convince him that voting out Caleb was in his best interest. It’s never great to vote out someone who you’re close with, especially when you’re doing so because he might possibly, potentially, maybe end up being a liability if and when you hit the merge. Props to Culpepper, though. This is a different man from the one we saw in Blood vs. Water. I said last week that the winner of this season will be the person who changes the most from their past seasons, so it’s a good sign for Brad.

I gave Caleb a lot of shit pre-game, and it was a little unwarranted. I was getting sick of how much hype CBS was giving him ,but ultimately he’s not a bad guy. As of this vote, Caleb is officially the second-worst two-time player in Survivor history, coming in just ahead of the great Francesca Hogi. It’s probably safe to say this is the end of Beastmode Cowboy’s Survivor career, so I think a quick eulogy is appropriate. Caleb’s is a story of untapped potential. CBS tried to convince us that he was playing an excellent game until his untimely evacuation in Kaoh Rong. After his near-death experience, he was pretty much guaranteed to come back at the first opportunity. And when he did, we were told that this was his second chance! Now we get to see him play for real! Only for him to get ousted on day nine after doing nothing remotely interesting.

 Power Rankings:

Mana:

1.       Brad

The edit game Brad most of the credit for Caleb’s boot this week. He was able to force Tai’s hand and get rid of Caleb, even though it would have been in Tai’s best interest to keep him. The key to this move was that Brad didn’t try to strong-arm his tribe like he did the first time around. Instead, he took an individualized approach with members of his alliance and helped them see that this was the right decision. Those were some really great moves, so I think Brad is going to be successful moving forward. And if this doesn’t work out for him, he clearly has a future in interior decorating. So all around, this was a good week for Brad.

2.       Sierra

Sierra’s sitting pretty once again. She’s in a solid alliance, with an advantage in her back pocket. I really can’t foresee any situation in the near future where Sierra would be targeted, unless she ended up in the minority after another swap. But given the fact that all 10 Nuku members are still around, that seems unlikely. Sierra is strong and loyal, so there’s really no reason anyone would want to take her out until much later in the game. She’s not going anywhere.

3.       Hali

Hali is definitely in danger with this tribe. If Mana had to go to tribal council again, it was be a very easy vote to get rid of her. However, she showed that she knows how to present herself. When you’re stuck in a position like this, you don’t want to seem like a threat. You want people to think voting you out would be a wasted opportunity to get rid of someone who might actually win. Hali did a good job of that at tribal council this week, and if she can keep it up, she might just survive.  

4.       Debbie

Debbie’s not necessarily in immediate danger, but in terms of “power” she’s very low on the totem pole. Debbie is being strung along as a number, and nothing else. And Debbie is enough of a loose cannon that she might be more of a liability than an asset to her tribe and she could be going home pretty soon. One of the main things I’ve seen from Debbie throughout her two seasons so far is that she can be pretty stubborn, and that’s not great in Survivor. While I wouldn’t necessarily be surprised to see her voted out soon, I’m not expecting it.  

5.       Tai

Tai’s game is pretty much dead in the water. His lack of agency puts him at this bottom of this list, but he’s not necessarily in any immediate danger. Tai is too wishy-washy and easily swayed to really be successful in this game. Like Debbie, I don’t see him going anywhere any time soon, but his odds of winning are effectively zero at this point.

Nuku:

1.       Malcolm

Malcolm’s sitting pretty for the time being. He’s planted firmly in the majority of his current tribe, with no real reason for anyone to get rid of him. Malcolm is going to be the biggest target once the merge hits, but in the meantime, he can sit back and relax.

2.       Michaela

This week, Michaela bounced back from a not-so-great start. She’s in a comfortable spot in the majority, and given that she’s such a strong competitor that she was practically dragging Malcolm and JT through that obstacle course, she’s not going anywhere. I’d like to see more from her, but that’s just because I think everything she says is pure gold.

3.       Aubry

Aubry was barely in this episode, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes too much visibility is a sign of imminent doom. Aubry’s in the majority alliance on Nuku, and even after one or two tribal councils, won’t be a likely target. I think Aubry’s safe for a while. Depending on how the next swap works out, Aubry could easily make it to the final seven or so.

4.       Varner

Varner is in a similar spot to Aubry, but the main difference is personality type. Varner’s much more outspoken and outwardly schemey than Malcolm, Michaela, and Aubry. So in the hypothetical situation where Nuku has been to two tribal councils, I expect Varner will find himself on the outs. However, I don’t really see that happening. There will likely be a second swap, which could put Varner back in the majority. This could finally be Jeff’s shot to sit on the jury.

5.       Sandra

Sandra’s days are numbered. She’s been playing hard and fast, and that can only get you so far when you’ve got a reputation as big as hers. I think the goat scene this episode was pretty telling. It seemed like Sandra couldn’t read the room and see that her desire to slaughter a baby goat wasn’t shared by everyone there. That could be a sign that not everyone’s on board with Sandra’s leadership and she is too blinded by her own goals to see that. Once JT is out of the picture, Sandra will be Nuku’s next sacrifice.

6.       JT

JT is obviously not in a good position right now. He’s outnumbered five to one, and he’s one of the bigger physical threats in the game. Not to mention, Sandra’s practically drooling at the thought of being the last winner standing. It’s going to take a lot of charm and charisma to keep his head off the chopping block. If anyone can pull it off, it’s JT, but I’m still skeptical.

Tavua:

Four-way tie:       Andrea/Ozzy/Zeke/Sarah

We saw almost nothing from these four this week, but they’re a solid alliance, so that keeps them in a good spot. Obviously with Troy’s idol in the mix, one of them will probably get voted out very soon, but it all comes down to who Troyzan decides to send home. Andrea and Ozzy are definitely more likely targets than Zeke or Sarah, but it’s probably a coin toss between the two. The other three, though, will still have the majority after their first tribal, so they’re cruising.

5.       Troyzan

Look, I’m not going to start rooting for Troyzan just because he found an idol, but this is a good sign for his game. Troyzan may be way outnumbered, but with an idol in his pocket, he can basically take out whoever he wants. Only trouble is, once it’s gone, it’s gone. Unless the tribes swap back immediately after Troyzan uses his idol, he’s dead meat.

6.       Shirie

Cirie’s pretty lucky that she hasn’t been to tribal council yet. I’m still worried she’ll be a huge target once she gets there. However, every day she spends on that island is another day she spends building bonds with her tribemates. And Cirie’s charming and magnetic personality might just be enough to convince someone to stick with her, at least for a little. Long-term, though, Cirie’s in danger.

Okay, kiddos. Strategically, this episode was a little lackluster, but we had some great character moments. The preview for next week, though, has me hyped. I cannot wait to see what exactly had Jeff Probst reacting the way he did. Should be a good one. Peace.