#Bro thought he could do a shit ton of drawing after being busy moving + volunteering all weekend 😔

[dykevanny]

ok deffo overdid it with my hand ouch,. Anyway uhh u guys should send asks i wanna yap lol

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Adventure Time Reviewed - Season 1 Episode 6 to Episode 8

From The Jiggler to Business Time

S1E06 The Jiggler

This one is about the cautions of adopting cute little forest animals. I wonder why Finn and Jake are covered in so many bite marks? Why was that kingdom on fire? What was going on? How much trouble can one watermelon get into? Anyway this is the first episode to feature Finn’s autotune voice. I can’t remember the last episode he said something in autotune - there was the s6 finale, then a few scenes in season 7. 

When they take the Jiggler back home, they Get Creative and escalate until they destroy their entire house interior. I think Princessss made an AMV Nightosphere gag about this.  I love how chiptune noises play every time the Jiggler moves on day 1. 

I always loved this episode. I thought it was very disturbing when the Jiggler gets sick, and then explodes. It reminds me of failed attempts to save birds or insects after my cats have gotten to them. I can relate so much to Finn and Jake here. Poor Jake having to keep himself together and look after his traumatized little bro.  I love the OST of this ep. The soundtrack was uploaded to soundcloud once, along with Ricardio the Heart Guy. I love how artistic this ep is with the edible drawings and the painting of the jiggler’s mom. Very bright and colourful. I always found the momma jiggler’s cry to be... weirdly genuine. 

S1E07 Ricardio the Heart Guy

This ep starts with Finn saving PB from Ice King, who humorously kisses Jake’s butt. PB gives Finn a kiss on the.... neck? hat? as thanks, and Finn’s crush truly begins. Oooooh boy.  I always wondered in hindsight why Pb let the ice king roam free to begin with. That question is raised later in this season. Ice King kidnaps dozens of princesses daily and roams free, but Princess Cookie starts 1 hostage situation and is locked up forever. In the ep What Have You Done, it’s reasoned IK can only be punished for recent crimes, but... ehh, there are a few reasons. Pity? Old ties? Maybe she doesnt want to lock up a pathetic old man forever.  There are some really funny statues of Finn and Jake in the castle, they look buff. I wonder who made these? PB commissioning them makes a lot of sense. Hey, it’s Peppermint Butler’s first speaking lines!!!  “This style of massage is called Best Friend Massage. Because it can only be done for friends. It is completely consensual.” Well the first line from Ricardio the Rapist Stand-in is already incredibly sus. What’s even more sus is he’s apparently friends with LSP.  I find it interesting that Ricardio is so intelligent. This must have been one of the motivators behind making Simon really smart. Ricardio is his heart, at the end of the day. Oh, Simon at the end of the show still has maracas in place of a heart. I wonder if that has health complications? 

“I hear you appreciate ancient technology.” This is foreshadowing of MULTIPLE things now. One - Ice King being pre-war. Two - PB building everything out of pre-war technology. Three - The fact there was a war to begin with!!!! 

Jake is trying to help Finn deal with his new emotions of jealousy (burning low war flashbacks) and he’s once again trying to make him happy, Jake never once considered the logistics of whether Finn and PB would ever actually go out, because it was far more important to him that Finn grow up and have the courage to listen to his heart. Jake encourages Finn’s crush to a fault, and provides lots of support to him when he’s heartbroken later on. 

I love how PB and Ricardio were talking about dangerous micro-organisms and poor Finn has no idea how to approach the topic. I love how Zanoits are actualy dangerous and Ricardio uses them as a poison later.  Anyway even PB can tell Finn is jealous. Finn is of the idea that she has no idea of his crush on her. Of course she knows. But from her side it’s exactly the same as Baby-snaps wanting to be a princess, or every other candy person doting on her - she thinks it’s adorable and completely fails to take the other person seriously. At least, until Braco comes along. Then you realise it’s a good thing she didn’t take Finn seriously, because she might have done something ridiculous like make him a robot clone of herself.  

Holy shit, the duck from The Vault!  I just made a post about it. 

Anyway this ep provides a challenge to Finn or a test of his character, ironically through his own test of Ricardio’s character! Finn gets obsessed with proving Ricardio evil to the point that he gets easily baited into punching him, and doesn’t care that the Ice King is basically dying. Poor Ice King. At least Jake is here to approach the situation with a level head. 

I was wondering as of late, with all the post-Obsidian sexuality discourse (in no way ignited by that one towel scene), whether PB was interested in Ricardio during this ep. It’s possible, and in the past, I thought “maybe”? But upon rewatch? No. She is only interested for as long as she can have scientific discussions with him, and as soon as his knowledge becomes lacking she has already used him for all hes worth. SAVAGE. But not as savage as him trying to rip out her heart. Ew, creep!!! 

I should say that Ice King wanted to cast a spell that would force PB to fall in love with him. He’s NOT safe, he’s dangerous. He’s especially a danger to PB. He does kill her twice at the end of season 2, after all. Once again I don’t know why she hasn’t locked him up LOL. Anyway, even if he did cast a love spell, she wouldn’t change any of her decisisons. It’d just make her sad, like it did at the end of The Suitor.  There was that one time PB tried to make a love potion but we don’t talk about that.  Ice King does demonstrate some concern for Bubblegum’s welfare when he reveals Ricardio’s plan to literally murder her. Ricardio’s plan here is pretty slapstick violent, and it’s funny watching Finn beat him up, but when he returns in season 4, it’s far more... personal and insidious. As in, here he could be seen as a jokey stand-in for a predator creep, but in that later episode he 100%  sexually threatens her and forces her into a non consensual relationship, making it very satisfying when PB beats the shit out of him instead. 

Holy fuck I forgot about this joke. Golden.  

S1E08 Business Time

For some reason, I don’t feel like there’s a lot to say about this ep. It doesn’t demonstrate any remarkable characteristics of Finn and Jake themselves. Instead, it seems to be more of an inside joke. 

When they find the business men, Finn and Jake at first feel like the business men are helping them work more effectively with their assists. However, the boys end up just being lazy, and not realizing that their workers are messing everything up. You can sympathise for the business men because they’re just doing what they were told to do.  This all seems to be metaphorical for when Pen and Patrick McHale started work on the show, and they got tons of help from Cartoon Network staff. They wanted to do everything by themselves, but ended up having to delegate. Maybe they feel lazy for it? 

What makes this episode EXTRA SPECIAL, however, is its confirmation of the Great Mushroom War.  By the time the season had released, the first shot of the intro was already Mushroom War bombs. There was also a reference to the war in the previous episode, where PB and Ricardio shared an interest in “ancient technology”. However, the only reason those references exist is because of THIS episode - This is the one they were working on when they decided it should be post-apocalyptic. They made the human zombies, and the icebergs filled with human junk, and then every GMW reference we see in the show is down to this decision. 

I enjoy the physicality of this ep. Finn and Jake crash through the entire gauntlet. Finn’s still wearing his fire resistant glove as he does it. They get covered in bruises, because they... like pain? I liked when you could see Finn’s sword legit being shinier, and his shoes having bouncing noises. And I want to be hydrated! I loved how smushy Jake was when he became an ice cream monster.  I love the colours of the Fluffy People. S1 has this unique art style compared to the rest of the series. They often draw white outlines to white things, it works nice here. 

[waitineedaname]

davekat childhood friends remeeting in college au please,,,, my heart (also congrats!! you deserve all the love i stan you sm)

you have all my uwus omg

----

Going to college far away was fucking weird. Dave didn’t mind it, but it was just… well, there were pros and cons to his choice in higher education.

Pro: the school had a really great photography program.

Con: he was really far away from basically everyone he knew.

Pro: being so far away meant he didn’t have to worry about his Bro breathing down his neck anymore.

Con: no, seriously, like really far away.

Pro: his professors seemed decent so far and the dining hall was close to his dorm.

Con: oh god what the fuck was he thinking.

Okay, maybe he was overreacting a little bit. It wasn’t like he was completely cut off from everyone. John had agreed to Facetime him regularly, and Jade sent him tons of Snapchats from wherever far off place she was gallivanting through before she had to go back to school too. Rose was close enough that they could occasionally road trip and visit each other, but not close enough that it could be a regular thing. And hey, maybe he’ll really hit it off with his roommate or something, and everything will be okay.

He plopped himself down on the far side of his English classroom and pulled out his notebook. It was the first day for this particular class and it was only an hour long, so he doubted they’d be doing much else than going over the syllabus, but having his notebook out meant he could doodle and, subsequently, pay attention better. He was busy trying to draw a hyperrealistic eye over a ridiculously abstract SBaHJ mouth just to see what it would look like when the professor reached his name in roll call.

“Here.” He said, glancing in her direction before pulling out the syllabus so he could read over it while still doodling. Having a last name that started with S usually meant they were nearing the end of the attendance sheet by the time they got to him, so unless someone had a name that started with V or something, they were basically done.

“Karkat Vantas?” The professor said, and Dave’s head snapped up. Wait, what?

“Here,” came the raspy response near the door. Dave’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head. He’d thought maybe it was just a weird case of someone mysteriously having the same name as his childhood friend, but no shit, that was Karkat. He was like ten when he last saw him, so he looked a lot older and a hell of a lot more exhausted, but there was no mistaking him. Holy shit.

Dave barely paid attention the whole time the professor went over the syllabus, too busy trying to catch Karkat’s eye, but dammit, he was totally focused on what the professor was saying. He almost laughed at how little things had changed. Karkat was always the one hanging off their teachers’ every word, while Dave was the one with the undiagnosed ADHD trying to distract his best friend with whatever he had on hand.

He finally managed to tune back in to catch his professor saying something about how she wanted them to “really form a bond with your fellow classmates” and how they should “pair up with a classmate you don’t know so you have a buddy if you miss class or need help.” Dave damn near leaped out of his seat when she let them loose to socialize for the last ten minutes of class, and he made a bee-line to Karkat’s seat.

“Karkat.” He said, bouncing on his heels at Karkat’s table. Karkat looked up from where he’d been shoving his books back in his backpack and gave him a confused look.

“Uh, hi.” He said, giving him no sign that he recognized him. Dave panicked.

“It’s me!” Dave said, then immediately winced at his own vagueness. “Dave.”

“That… sure is your name.” Karkat was continuing to disoriented and more than a little annoyed.

“No, dude, Dave Strider. We went to elementary school together? You had those bigass glasses and I called them ugly on the playground because I was a stupid five year old with no sense of etiquette - not that I’m much better now, I guess, since this is probably the most awkward way I could’ve possibly reintroduced myself, but, shit, I’m getting off track. You threw mud at my shades and said now we both had ugly glasses, and then we ate lunch together like every day after that. Do-. Do you remember?” He faltered a little bit, worried this was an unfortunate case of mistaken identity. Karkat’s eyes widened cartoonishly as recognition passed across his face.

“Holy shit. Dave?!”

“Yeah, dude, the one and only.”

“Jesus fuck, you got tall.” Karkat commented, sitting back and looking him over.

“And you did not.” Dave teased, relaxed now that they were on the same page. He hopped up to sit to the side of Karkat’s desk. “How the fuck have you been, man? Where the hell did you even move to? It was like you disappeared off the face of the earth.”

“Basically.” Karkat snorted. “My dad got a job transfer out of fucking nowhere that summer and the whole family had to move. It sucked having to start all over in sixth goddamn grade, but whatever. I’m sure you weren’t too distraught at my absence since you had John.” Karkat added, gently shoving at his leg in a halfhearted attempt to get him off his desk.

“I mean yeah, John and I got hella tight after that, but it sucked losing my oldest friend.” Dave shrugged. Karkat gave him a skeptical look.

“You cannot be referring to me.”

“No, I’m referring to some other idiot I started hanging around when I could barely walk. Yeah, I’m referring to you, dipshit. We were like soul brothers, man. Joined at the goddamn hip. Two peas in one dumbass pod pretending to slay dragons on the playground. Or aliens. Or that one time your furry sister started reading those Warriors books and she convinced us to roleplay cats. How’s she doing, by the way?”

“Nepeta’s fine.” Karkat said, amused. “What, are you looking for someone to help you break out of your repressed furry state? Do you want me to draw you a fucking fursona?” He patted Dave’s knee and put on a condescending tone. “It’s okay, bro, I won’t judge.”

“I mean, are you offerin’? What’re your commission rates?” The look Karkat gave him was scathing. “Nah, I’m kidding. If I want furry art, I can just hit up Jade. What I am wondering is if you wanna maybe grab something to eat?” Dave asked, faux casual. “I dunno if you’ve hit up that burger place by the university union, but they’re not half bad, and their fries fucking kick ass. Like seriously, orgasmic level shit. I’d fucking live off of those fries if I could. I mean, I probably could eat nothing but overly seasoned fries until the day I die, but that date would be way sooner than it should be because I’ll have destroyed my digestive tract with salt. But, you know, you gotta make sacrifices for what you love, and I’m telling you, I really do love those fries.”

“Jesus christ, you really haven’t changed.” Karkat rolled his eyes. “Here I was hoping - no, praying that puberty might have forced you to finally grow a single brain cell, but I guess I should be used to my dreams being dashed and splattered to oblivion like someone took the most fragile, paper thin egg thrown against a brick wall. Oh, you see that tiny little dribble of yolk sliding down the most microscopic sliver of an eggshell? That’s the last of my hope for humanity leaking away because you’re still a goddamn imbecile.”

“Yeah, well, puberty finally helped you grow a jawline. Shit could cut diamonds. Uh,” Dave panicked, “Not that I’m checking out your jaw or anything. Fuck, that wasn’t even a good come back, goddammit-”

Karkat’s simultaneously exasperated and fond made his heart flutter just the tiniest bit. “Just take me to the fucking burger place, shitbrain.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Maybe he wouldn’t be too lonely after all.

[freewheelshippin]

30 utapri questions!

Thanks @dekiaibadchoices​ for the tag, this was an awesome way to wind down after a ton of nonstop busy busy busy!!! (and thanks for tagging this blog vs the general utapri one so i can REALLY gush LOL) Here’s the OG meme! 

1. Your best boy?

BANANAMAN RAN WHO ELSE  

2. Your least favorite boy?

“least favorite” implies dislike which...not true! truthfully it’s much of HEAVENS by nature of ‘I haven’t spent as much time getting to know these characters so I don’t really know who they are.’ (though I already know I love to go for drinks and snacks with Van hehe) i do like all of HEAVENS quite a bit from what i’ve seen so far but that affection has not had time to ripen! 

3. A character that you never thought you would love as much as you do now?

mnmnj ranran tbh 

4. A character you can relate to in any way?

I can’t answer everything with Ranmaru but like. His ambition, straightforwardness, and how the soul and spirit of music motivate him to move forward beyond a tough past are things I same hat so much ;; But HONESTLY I also relate a lot to Masa and Tokiya, especially in their moments of self-doubt and dramatic commitment to to their art? 

5. A character that you think deserves more love?

Oh, Cecil, without a doubt. He’s such a resilient, committed, and open-hearted cutie and gets really shafted by canon tbh. Which makes it harder for everyone to see what a great boy this sweetie is! But I appreciate how Shining Live has given him some room to have really cute and standout moments so everyone can love him more but okay like, give me more Ceci and Ran palling around I love him most when they’re up to shenanigans 

6. A character you would want as your partner?

well we’re posting this fuckin here so you all fuckin know (im very embarrass rn i can barely say it lmao) 

(for the record i would also very much like to be friends with reiji and syo, they are cool people i think i’d get along with! and i know myself, if i knew otoya or masato IRL i’d just be like ‘well. that’s my son now’ and basically appoint myself their tough big sis-type-friend lookin out for them lol) 

7. A character you would want as your mentor/senpai?

I would swallow a pinecone before I called him ‘onii-san’ but teach me how to network kotobuki-senpai 

(No, like, forreal, I suck so, so bad at a ton of stuff Reiji is aces at, and I respect the hell out of his *waves* general everything and skilll navigating the industry. Since I’m a goofy, jokey, overenthusiastic teacher for work a lot it’d be nice to be on the receiving end of all that energy! and be a fucking decent kouhai that isn’t so horribly unappreciative of all his hard work and good cheer ) 

8. Your favorite ship?

shut your whore mouth i dont have the marbles to write it out 

(tbh it’s also Haru/Tomo, I just feel so much more romantic chemistry between those two than Haru and any of the boys u___u  Friends’ selfship stuff goes without saying, haha, and ngl I’m kind of About a Ren/Van rivalry hatemance? can i call it a kismesis thing? it’s a kismesis thing.) 

(actually no I think I’m just a member of the “Ren Fucks and sometimes it’s Hatesex” club) 

9. A character that you want to cosplay/have already cosplayed?

I had plans to cosplay Ranmaru a couple months ago bc it’s really not much of a stretch for my wardrobe, haha, but I dunno about that anymore! Part of it was wanting the Euphoria of looking like a tough, twunky, princely anime character but tbqh I’m already that every day of my life so 

I suppose if you were to pull my leg I’d go for cosplaying Van, mostly because I wanna try that mullet on for myself. 

10. Favorite side character?

TOMO!! LOVE U BITCH WHEN WILL I HEAR U SINGGGGGG 

11. Your favorite solo song?

god this is horrible how can I decide??? so many good ones??? I think it’s a draw between Top Star Revolution, No. 1, Brand New Melody, Wild Soul, Seien Brave Heart, and Junketsu Nara Ai ~Aspiration~ ??? 

12. Your favorite duet song?

HMMMMM again too many good ones. Three-way tie between Haru Hana, NorthWind and SunShine, and Original Resonance! 

13. Your favorite trio song?

Ahhh Dream More than Love is really nostalgic bc it’s the first Utapri song I really loved, but i gotta be real. It’s just Egoistic. There’s just no getting better than Egoistic 

14. Your favorite group song?

mmmm i’m be basic. Poison Kiss 

15. Your least favorite song?

I love Ai and Shouta Aoi’s incredible voice but......I’m really not a fan of super slow, overly-saccharine songs. u__u so A.I. really, really doesn’t land with me, much less so than easygoing (like Knocking on the Mind) or somber (like Winter Blossom) songs. 

16. Your favorite singer?

ranran...it’s always ranran...

(I do also adore Natsuki’s and Camus’s voices! I tend to like deeper, richer vocal qualities, but you just can’t beat Ranmaru’s subtle growls and high-energy rock!!!! <3) 

17. Your favorite group/trio/duo?

god what combo of these idiots DONT i love? I could watch Reiji prank and tease Ranmaru all fuckin day, and I also really like it when Ran’s at his most ‘tuff big bro-y’ with, like, Ai, Otoya, and Cecil!!! but honestly I do like how the Ran/Masa/Ren trio isn’t so straightforward and is more or less held together by a thin string of professionalism, there’s something i appreciate about not forcing ppl to just bury the hatchet and be Perfect Friends but you all can still care about each other? (Ranmaru needs to be nicer to them still but...) 

i need to suggest one that isn’t ranmaru centric fjdsioafjsa i fuckin love Soccer Buds (otosyo) and I loooooove it when Otoya and Cecil are good to each other!!! 

18. Your favorite member of Starish?

they’re all my favorite but if you REALLY had to make me pick.....Masato, probably, haha. I just...if you take yourself too seriously and care so much about everything but still know how to be Nasty how can I not love you??? 

19. Your favorite member of Quartet Night?

what do you fuckin think, hoss 

20. Your favorite member of Heavens?

I mentioned earlier I don’t really know Heavens well, so ofc this is all liable to change! But off the bat I love what a conniving yet wholesome bastard Eiichi is and Van is just the kinda guy I would rib and pal around with IRL!! 

21. Your favorite seiyuu/voice actor?

Ahhh that’s tough! I love all these goofbags, and Tattsun really is just so cool and makes music I’m pretty about. But I think I gotta give it to Suwabe, his performances are always so him but still pretty varied, and how can you not adore a man who loves his chihuahuas that much??? 

(if i’m being 100% honest Tattsun lost points bc he voices my absolute least favorite character in granblue ffjsfjisda) 

22. Favorite Drama CD?

HMMMMMMM see as a certified Giant Tool for Everything Mecha and silly and extra, I enjoyed the hell out of Polaris, but it really suffers from a lack of Ranmaru in my humble fuckin opinion lmao. So even though I’m not one for pirate stuff most of the time, I gotta give it to Pirates of the Frontier!! I really loved Ranmaru and Otoya’s dynamic in that one, and Camus was juuuuust the right amount of shitheel, too. 

I haven’t heard the whole thing but that thing from Egoistic where Natsuki squeezes Ranmaru to death and Eiichi’s just like ‘WUAHAHAHAHAH’ is also the mcfuckin best. 

23. Your favorite shining live card?

CAN’T PICK 

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY PICK?????????? LIKE??? I love the fucking dumb, dumb, dumb ostentatiousness of Evil Villains, I LOVE a good heel, and I also worked so so hard to t1 that event and had a lot of fun doing it!! But also, I just love his big smile and all the energy and mixed prints from Fortune and Prosperity, and it was literally the first time I ever got the exact card I was rolling for in a gacha on the last pull I had left!! (He also came home during a time I was really going through some shit, and ngl it rescued me a little bit!) but AHHHH Soulful Bass also came out right around my birthday, I love all the textures in the outfit and it’s generally the most My Aesthetique thing Utapri has ever released!!! And god, I just love it when he’s so confident and in his element like this, it sets me on FIRE to see him light up the stage wurghjgfj ;___; They all make me just want to HUG SO MUCH ARGGHHHHH 

24. Your favorite song beatmap?

Ahhh I think Shining Live really has great beatmaps across the board so that’s a tough pick! Almost all of them are super fun in their own way, but I think I gotta hand it to Wild Soul, Top Star Revolution, and Innocent Wind! 

25. Your least favorite song beatmap?

A.I. u__u Sorry, Ai...it’s just not fun for me.

26. Black Deja Vu or White Gravity?

Actually I’m really glad for this question bc I’ve been so busy lately I hadn’t given myself the time to really check them out! checking ......... 

and yep. Black Deja Vu. (I mean...Ranmaru is on it, haha.) But I’m so about this. Love this heavier sound and all these harmonies, this is so juicy. (White Gravity also absolutely kicks ass though!! I’m really liking that voice group, it’s making especially good use of those higher registers!) 

27. Utapri merch that you own/want?

Honestly I don’t have much u__u Not a lot of Utapri merch is my thing...you know? I’m mostly shopping for Ran merch if I’m getting any, but I’m very picky about how he gets drawn? Keeping his toughness and a particular clothing style about him is so essential, haha, and barely anything hits that sweet spot for me. But I will say I adored the whole ‘My Favorite Things’ series, and if I had the budget and space atm I’d love to get some of the Ran goodies from that line! 

28. How did you get into Utapri?

I first heard about it through some acquaintances from cosplay before Quartet Night was a thing. It didn’t appeal enough to my heavy metal ass to make me drop everything and try it, but I did have an interest in it I couldn’t explain and I’d always intended on trying it out. (especially after I got into Love Live and idol anime for a bit.) But it was Shining Live that got me! And I really only downloaded Shining Live because I was super exhausted after a business trip, didn’t want to leave bed once I got back home, and just wanted to sink my teeth in something new I could enjoy for hours while lying down, haha.  

29. A set theme in shining live that you want to see in the future?

This will surprise nobody, but something tougher. More rock, more punk, more metal. I want all of them in studs and spikes and leather, and I want less polish. More rough! 

I’d also love a wrestler set complete with who’s-a-heel-who’s-a-face but that’s a pipe dream and a half, lmao. 

30. Why do you love your best boy?

Oh boy. 

I think he’s this powerhouse of a human bean who can face a ton of pain and meet it with a big middle finger. And that middle finger is chasing after ambitious dreams, of spreading the power and soul of the same music that made me who I am and influences so much of my work, but also being ... you know, smart about it? He’s an idol because like, sure, maybe it’s not the OG dream, but you can’t dream if you’re dead, and you also deserve to give yourself a life and platform to share some of who you are, and you can do a lot of good with that, too. (And I won’t lie, I respect the drama of a man who takes his hair that seriously and commits so hard to the aesthetic he wears fuckin mismatched contacts i just. charm point ) 

But at the same time....I don’t know, this might sound presumptuous, but. I think. I just think he’d think I’m as neat as I think he is. I’m an ambitious, passionate person, too, and I also furiously stick to my ideals, and I also love the same kind of soul of music he does. I lean a little more metal than I do rock, but I think that’s nice, like sharing it has that ‘alike but different’ kind of familiarity and novelty all at once. Sometimes it’s tough sharing just how deeply rock and metal have sculpted me and my artwork (and therefore my career), bc it’s so deeply personal to me, and sometimes there’s weird elitism/misogyny/racism to deal with, too. But. The way he talks about rock, the way he describes the passion and how it transcends identity and is just a pure rush of power and sharing your feelings..................it just feels like he Gets it the same way I do. Just that unspoken, burning passion and understanding. I know it sounds weird to feel that strongly over just a music genre, but I just vibe with how to him, it really isn’t ‘just’ a music genre. I feel more accepting of myself for it, and I’d like to think he’d be real proud of himself for that.  

And listen, like....I’m very sentimental, but I really don’t like saccharine, flowery, romantic kinds of affection to be lavished on me. Just be straightforward but also a little tsun about it fjdsjfas and ..... those are the kind of feelings I can accept. And that’s the way Ranmaru is, and it’s also grounded in the kind of reality that I don’t like to be swept away from. He’s just so cool and hardworking and unwavering in his passion, it makes it easier for me to do the same despite all the bumps in the road. This got real long but Ran’s a cool dude, haha, I got a lot of positives to say. 

Anyways, I never tag folks for these things, but I love seeing everyone’s answers! If you see this and wanna fill it, feel free to count this as a tag from me :) I know this got real long, but with 30 questions how could it not haha? Thanks for reading and sticking around! 

[dcuglybooks]

A short story collection featuring stories that are either mean and ugly like that turd that thudded you in school, or sweet and cuddly as a little gloomy kitten; or puppy if you’re more of a dog person.

Stories Christians don't have to read backwards. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08LGB4HGN/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_UIpaGb2VC4BBX

Here’s a free short.

WAP: WEIRD ASS PHANTOM

“There’s a ghost in this house. There’s a ghost in this house.”

Linda was getting tired of the shit. Every day at exactly noon her alarm would play this shitty overdubbed version of a Cardi B song. The original song wasn’t her cup of tea to begin with, this new version that sounded like drunk karaoke was even worse. Most times she would be sitting there and the sound of a drunk sorority girl would make her jump out of her skin. She couldn’t even find the song or alarm in her phone to do anything about it.

Linda and her girlfriend, Melissa, moved into this old house last month, the rent was so damn cheap; landlord said it was because it used to be a party house so he never charged much. The logic didn’t make any sense but at $300 a month and a mile outside of town, how were they not going to sign that lease?

“I think,” spoke Melissa one night while watching her phone float around taking pictures in the air, “the reason rent is so cheap is because it’s haunted.”

“You think?” Replies Linda while snatching the phone out of the air. “I just wish this damn ghost would stop posting pictures of our bedroom to our Instagram accounts. Did you see the caption last night?”

“Oh you mean ‘Pumpkin spice is almost here. Basic bitches, rejoice!’ The comma is what set me off. Why did she put a comma in that? Why bother? It wasn’t even used correctly I don’t believe.”

“We’re being haunted by a basic bitch.”

“I think that may be offensive.”

“I hear it all the time, it just...... yeah ok maybe. I guess I shouldn’t assume this ghost is a bad stereotype, I won’t say it again.”

“True, this girl may have more going for her than just these annoying social media posts from our accounts”

“Remember the mirror though?”

Last week as the couple were eating dinner they heard a clatter and crash from the upstairs bathroom. Running full speed ahead up the stairs and around the corner Linda saw all their makeup in a pile in the empty sink. She could see a pair of red lipsticked lips floating in the air while eyeliner was seemingly drawn onto the air in a cat eye shape. She sighed and said “What now?” These types of things had been going on since the first night so at this point it was old hat.

The lipstick went to the mirror and wrote “I am finally going to kill you.” Linda took a step back prepared to flee until the lipstick wrote below it “JK LOL YOUR FACE” and then the face floated off into the wall leaving behind the makeup like some sort of painting.

The first time anything strange had happened, a pizza showed up at the front door; delivery for an Amanda Perkins. The girl who moved out recently, they took the pizza because it was already paid for and assumed the girl had made a mistake. They were sure of this as they sat and watched old re-runs of home improvement and munched away; then they noticed the slice floating over in the air above the recliner and the chewed up pile on the seat. They screamed and ran outside, Melissa forgot her phone inside and Linda’s made a ding from inside her pocket.

“Hey I know this is really weird, it’s weird AF for me too. We can make it work though, ladies. I swear I won’t bother you, I already cleaned up my mess.”

They inched inside looking around like scared toddlers and sure enough the mess was cleaned up. After that they just rolled with the weirdness.

“Are you sure Amanda left, Mr. Morris?” Linda was on the phone with the landlord.

“Yes. Positive. Why would you think she still lived there?”

“There’s been..... some things.”

“Drunk college girl, she probably stumbled home one night and forgot she went home for the summer. Its no deal. Not big or small.”

“Are you absolutely positive there is no deal? Big, small, medium, or slightly larger than medium but not quite large?”

“What do you think? I know her ex and he killed her and then buried her body in the basement so now her ghost is haunting you. This is why I charge so cheap rent! No. I don’t believe what you think. I will be going.”

He hung up without ever realizing Linda never once mentioned any of that other stuff. Linda thought, Why does he talk like that?

Turned out that’s exactly what had happened. After doing a quick google of the ghosts name they found out she never came home. After a quick Facebook search they found her ex boyfriends page. After some scrolling they found a post that said “Amanda and I broke up again and I am going to kill her.” The post had six likes and four comments.

“Get her bro!”

“Bitch ain’t appreciate you anyhow bet!”

“U need any ting lemme no”

“Fuk gr8 ass tho. Mind if I hit her up?”

These people were insane. Did not a single one of these people see the part about wanting to kill her? Actually PLANNING to kill her.

The police found it interesting enough to look into it, they found reason to arrest the guy. After a long court trial Amanda’s ex-boyfriend, Brent, was sentenced to life in prison for murder. The body was exhumed and buried at a family plot. The rent got more expensive because Mr. Morris was in prison for helping cover a murder so his aunt took over.

You win some you lose some.

Amanda did not leave though. The ghost hung out still to this day four months later. The social media posts kept going. The pizzas kept getting ordered, only now from their pockets because Amanda’s parents closed her bank account. Amanda was irritated about that, she was cut off from her parents money and stuck living with two other people.

Linda and Melissa tried to make her feel as comfy as possible, they left a pen and notebook in each room so she could communicate with them. Usually the notes were always about how bored she was being a ghost and how if she tried to leave the house it got all bright and she started floating. Amanda was “for real afraid of flying” as she wrote on a notebook.

Amanda’s behavior got strange at some point. She began doing things like drawing stick figures on the bathroom floor in shampoo, she would wrap herself in toilet paper and roll down the stairs creating the illusion of her body disappearing, the worst of it was when she would lay in bed with Linda and Melissa startling them when she pulled the blanket. It was like living with an invisible insane person. Either her mind was slipping or she was just a strange character. She would turn the TV on and watch the same episode of “King of Queens” for ten hours straight while they were at work. They wondered what would happen if they deleted it from the DVR but didn’t want to face that at all.

The alarm kept going off too; Linda had to hand out awkward smiles and apologies when it happened at work or in public. One time she had to apologize to a middle aged woman when it went off in the cereal aisle while shopping and her son started singing the lyrics to the original version as loud as his voice would allow. The mother gasped at all the words her kid knew and knocked a shelf of maple syrup over. The bottles burst all over the floor, Linda tried to help clean it up but she was shooed away by a guy with a mop bucket and a face that said he wanted her dead as shit.

They asked her multiple times what they could do to get her to move along, to which she would always write “sno-cone” on her notebook with no explanation.

Linda woke up sick on a Tuesday and didn’t go to work, she came into the bathroom and seen a note written in lipstick on the mirror that read “Baby, all my life I will be driving home to you.” She blushed, Melissa had left her a really sweet note on the mirror. When Melissa got home she surprised her with a bout of some of the best sex they had ever had, despite Linda being sick she felt overcome with love for her partner.

“Wow. What did I do to deserve that?” Asked Melissa after.

“The note.”

“Oh yes. The note, got you good with that one. So, if it was so good mind telling me what it said?”

“You know what it said!”

“Of course I do.”

She didn’t know what it said. She had no clue, but she wasn’t going to raise a stink about what just happened. No way, no how. She got up and went to use the restroom, as she sat on the toilet she looked up and saw the words on the mirror.

“LINDA!” She yelled. “I DIDNT LEAVE THAT! THATS THE GODDAMN LYRICS FROM THE THEME SONG FOR ‘THE KING OF QUEENS!’”

Linda didn’t know what to say; she shook her head and internally accepted defeat on this one. The couple didn’t talk about it again, the ends justified the means on this one they silently agreed; thanks Amanda.

The trio had carried on life like this for months, seven to be exact, when they heard a bang and a crash from the front door. Assuming this was yet again Amanda doing some goofy nonsense they ran downstairs to clean up the mess only to find a man standing their pointing a shotgun at them.

“You’re the dykes who got me locked up, aintcha?” Said a freshly broke out of prison Brent. “You know, usually I’m cool with like loving whoever and like rights and like equality and shit but tonight is not your night. Go sit.”

They were tied together on the couch while Brent sat channel flipping on the TV.

“Amanda is still here,” spoke Linda “she’s a ghost, at some point she’s going to help us and you’ll probably get hurt. She’s probably posting pictures on Instagram right now so she’s a little busy, but I promise when she finds out she’ll come running.”

“No she won’t.”

“Ok? So you think her post is going to get a ton of likes then?”

“She’s afraid of me.”

“Ugh are you generic ‘I beat my girlfriend’ guy number seventy or not?”

“Not.”

“Then why is she afraid of you?”

“I’m bigger than her…… I guess?”

“She’s a ghost.”

“I’m still bigger.”

​“How can you be bigger than an incorporeal being with no mass or weight?”

​“See, she doesn’t way anything.”

“You didn’t think any of this through did you?”

“Not one bit.”

“It shows. Why did you kill her?”

“Hey I’ve never been what you’d call a planner. I killed her because she broke up with me for the fiftieth time that year and all my friends were giving me a hard time about how I would just crawl back to her. I said ‘can’t crawl back to her if I kill her!’ They all thought it was funny so I did it.”

“Ah………Makes perfect sense to me.”

“A guy has to watch his reputation, right?”

They sat there watching late night infomercials in silence for another half hour. Linda nudged Melissa as she seen a phone floating around taking pictures of a floating can of soup.

Of all the ghosts in the world, why was theirs like this?

“Brent, there’s some stuff on the DVR” Linda told him.

“Good I hate infomercials. Oh yuck, ‘The King of Queens.’ I hate that show, Amanda loved it. That fat fucking heifer guy gets to make it with that babe every night. Fucking loser ass UPS guy”

They could see the phone slowly lower and start hovering towards Brent. They let him rant.

“And that Deacon guy, what a fucking idiot, he leaves his wife at one point which is silly because she’s so fucking hot.”

The can of soup hovered behind him.

“That guy that dates the ugly chick from the bowling alley, now I can’t tolerate him at all.”

The soup can shook with rage.

“He ends up living with the other guy right? Like what the fuck? Are they like a thing or not a thing? I didn’t pay enough attention. I did pretend to though to get some action every now and again, show fucking sucks though. Here I’ll do you guys a favor.”

As he deleted the episode from the DVR the can came slamming down into his head.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

They heard a voice yell “MY BONES ARE GETTING WEARY! MY BACK IS GETTING TIGHT!” As the can of cream of chicken turned Brent’s head into cream of Brent’s brains.

After the violence stopped the notebook hovered in front of them and said “Sorry, I was on TikTok, I’ll clean this up tho.”

Much like the first night that’s exactly what happened. They were untied and they watched as the mess was cleaned up. Brent’s body floated over to the ground and the can of soup was laid on the table. The phone floated over to Melissa who dialed 911.

After the legal mess was cleaned up they decided that having Amanda around maybe was not such a bad idea. No one could really kill them, it was like having a built in security system. They did eventually add a third line to their cell plan and let her set up social media for herself as a reclusive twenty something who couldn’t leave the house due to a skin condition.

Her pages were ok, they didn’t get much interaction or followers but Amanda was happy. Sometimes people would say they wanted to hang out with her because they lived close, Amanda just said her skin condition was contagious AF. No one ever thought to say “Hey, what exactly IS your medical condition?” People could be so polite sometimes.

Christmas morning as they all opened gifts Linda and Melissa cried as Amanda opened the complete series collection of “The King of Queens.” The three sat on the couch together that evening and watched all of season one.

Baby all my life I will be driving home to you.

The next day they heard a familiar song. Together they both smiled and thought that yes, there was a ghost in this house.

[angelia-dark]

The Price of Kindness, Part 1

Another commission from the lovely @sapphire-sphinx, another multi-parter!

The Request:  The Swap Brothers get stuck in Fell, and as a repayment, Stretch becomes Edge’s pet.

Part 2

Word Count: 2951

Link to my Commissions Page for pricing and general info.

Or Buy Me a Coffee

In hindsight, Stretch could've seen it coming.

Running on three days of no sleep, jittery from three cups of Muffet's strongest honey-roasted coffee, and his brother startling him by bursting in to screech about Alphys giving him a date for Guard tryouts was only a recipe for absolute disaster. Already unfocused, his hand shaky, and the machine he was working on having an open panel with the circuits on (that he had foolishly forgotten to turn off), perhaps ramming the screwdriver in with his jumpy reflexes wasn't, in hindsight, the wisest thing to do.

To his brother's credit, those training reflexes paid off as soon as the machine began to spark and fizzle, and Stretch found himself covered by his brother's sturdier form before everything went deafening and white.

And then black.

When he got around to thinking about it later down the road, Stretch didn't know how long he had been knocked out. All the sleep he'd been neglecting finally caught up and extended his unconsciousness for longer than it should have been, blissfully unaware as he slept.

When he regained consciousness, he was first aware of a soreness in his frame he'd only experienced once before, years ago when the accident at the lab tore his HP down to one. Stretch slowly came to further consciousness, wincing as he raised a hand to rub his skull. His hand touched a wrap around his head, which was odd since he didn't know what would warrant something like that.

“...Sans...?” he called out, his voice croaking out oddly weakly as he rubbed his eye sockets and looked around.

This was not his basement.

The stone walls were scratched, chipped, and crumbling from wear and age rather than accidental, and the floor was barely clean enough to be considered hygienic. He was situated on a frayed pallet covered with a threadbare blanket and no pillow, and several dishes next to him that looked to be eaten out of already.

He frowned with confusion, turning his head to the other side and felt a jolt when he saw his brother lying close by.

Blue was lying face-down on another pallet, his armor and shirt removed to show healing bones on the back side of his frame. The memory of the explosion crashed back into him, recalling Blue shielding him from the bulk of the blast. He ignored his own ache as he tugged his body up and crawled over to Blue, putting a hesitant hand on his shoulder. “...bro...?” he said, his voice barely above a strained whisper. “...bro...Sans...?”

Blue didn't respond, too deep in his unconsciousness to react in any way. Stretch looked around almost helplessly, unable to push himself up further to get up and look for a way out, and jumped when he heard the door at the top of the stairs open.

Stretch growled, covering his brother's body with his own protectively as footsteps descended from the stairs. His soul twitched as he willed up some magic for a fight, then gasped when his soul turned blue and he was redeposited back onto his pallet.

“Don't use magic when you're still healing, you handicapped idiot,” came a rough, grating voice that made Stretch's spine jolt with recognition. He looked up, seeing a Monster nearly identical to himself step into view, holding a tray of dishware.

Oh gods, of ALL the places to end up, why did it have to be HERE!?

“Ease up on th' magic, Edgelord,” Stretch hissed out, trying to lift his arms without success and trying to sound vaguely threatening, which did absolutely nothing. Edge merely gave him an unamused look and put the tray down on a small table nearby.

“You're in no position to be making demands, ash trash,” his doppleganger replied. “In case you haven't noticed, you're in MY domain now, and we've been gracious enough to save your sorry coccyges from dusting.” He arranged the bowls on the table. “So some gratitude would be appreciated before I change my mind.”

Stretch growled, letting his body go lax and a moment later felt the blue hold on his soul let up. Deciding not to test the LOVE-teeming asshole further, he remained where he was, knowing that he nor his brother were capable of defending themselves against a whim of a bad day.

Edge finished his sorting and set a plate of food down next to Stretch before picking up a bottle and kneeling next to Blue, turning the smaller Skeleton to the side, opening his jaw, and pouring the contents in.

“...the hell are you giving him?” Stretch demanded, ignoring the food next to him. Edge shot him a look of annoyance.

“It's actual medicine,” he replied tersely. “And it cost a shit-ton of G, so don't complain about me wasting it on him.” He sat up, putting the cap back on the bottle. “And don't waste my food either. Eat it, since you're conscious.”

Stretch clenched his hands, trying his damnedest not to start up a fight, but finding it difficult, as he always did with the Edgelord. “Are you gonna tell us what happened, or not?”

Edge growled to himself, standing and gathering up the tray. “I think it's fairly obvious, unless your little accident gave you brain damage...at least more than what those disgusting cigarettes did, in any case.” He walked back toward the stairs. “Eat and heal more until Blue wakes up. I'm not explaining anything twice.” He walked up the stairs, shutting the door behind him.

In the stillness of the basement, Stretch heard a lock slide into place and couldn't help the shudder run up his spine. It took him quite some time to gather up the nerve to eat the small meal Edge set next to him, feeling the healing magic trickle through his bones that did little to make up for the taste.

Within the hour of sitting, eating, and falling back to sleep, Stretch could only worry about what exactly was happening.

Blue regained consciousness soon after, but it still took a full bottle of the medicine for him to be able to move without hurting his HP. Still, the Swap brothers weren't let upstairs out of the basement, something that Stretch found suspicious and irritating.

The only thing that made it bearable was Red, who offered more food, a bit more kindness, and explanation.

It had been a week ago that Stretch and Blue had come into their universe through a time-space fracture, looking like they had been caught in an explosion. They HAD, but it would have been worse had the fracture not happened.

Blue caught the worst of it, the back of his frame having been dealt the most damage that was slowly healing, and Stretch's HP had gone to the decimals. It might have proven fatal, had the Fell brothers not been home to hear the commotion rather than being out on the job.

“I wouldn't expect th' good will to last long,” Red said as he gathered up dishes. “It's gonna take awhile to fix our machine, and th' Boss isn't exactly charitable. Until shit's fixed up an' running, you're gonna have to pull yer weight.”

“Of course,” Blue replied in agreement. “It would be rude to just stay here. What can we do to pay you back?”

Red glanced upstairs almost nervously. “...that's for him to decide,” he finally said. “He'll be down later to discuss it. For yer own good, just agree. It's better than bein' on yer own out there.” He headed up the stairs and out of the basement before either of the Swap brothers could ask what he meant by that.

The next day, Stretch and Blue were finally allowed out of the basement.

Things seemed almost too quiet in the house, and even outside. The slightest creak or commotion almost seemed to echo through the house, which was almost spartan compared to the Swap brothers' back home. A couch, a chair, and a coffee table was all that made up the living room, other than the intimidating display of weaponry that decorated the walls. The door had five locks that were firmly in place and only a fire in the fireplace keeping the place warm.

Edge was standing by the window, clasping shutters in place and drawing curtains as an extra measure of security before he turned to face the other three Skeletons in the room. His posture was no-nonsense and all business, and Stretch had a feeling this wasn't going to be a warm and fuzzy 'talk'.

“It goes without saying that you're stuck here for the unforeseeable future,” Edge said, beginning a slow pace across the room. “And this isn't like your cushy little Swap universe.” He pinned the Swap brothers in place with a sharp red eyelight. “'Kill Or Be Killed' isn't just an arrangement of rich words. It's our literal creed that has literal consequences. So it's in your best interest to have...support here.”

“Get to th' point, Edgelord,” Stretch griped, flinching when he felt Red kick his ankle. Edge gave him an annoyed glower before his expression went almost sinister.

“Gladly, ash trash,” he replied. “My point is we're taking a high risk in keeping you here safe. And high risk is EXPENSIVE.” He paused his pacing to look between the Swap brothers. “If you're going to be staying here, you're going to be repaying us for the risk.”

Stretch scowled. “You're a real piece of work, aren't ya?” he muttered.

“Better a piece of work than a piece of meat for the Dogs to chew,” Edge shot back. “If you honestly think you or your brother can survive out there, then go on.” He took a step to the side to give a free view of the door. “You're easy pickings for EXP, and you know it.”

Stretch clenched his hands, glowering with the urge to start hurling insults when Blue put a calming hand on his shoulder.

“...we believe you,” Blue said. “And we're thankful and grateful for your hospitality, really! We're just....a little high-strung, right, Papy?” He didn't give Stretch time to answer. “I can help out as best I can...I can cook and clean and fix things! And I'm sure Papy can help out too.”

Edge contemplated the brothers for a moment before nodding. “That's what I thought,” he said, crossing his arms. “We'll hash out details later. After dinner.” He turned to Blue. “Show me what you're made of, Blue.”

Blue hopped up, nodding with determination before hurrying for the kitchen. Edge looked on, amused. “If only you could be that enthusiastic, brother.”

“Give me something to be enthusiastic about,” Red replied, rolling his eyelights. “You want peppy, go to their universe.”

“Perish the thought. And you're not going to become a lazy piece of shit while they're here, so don't even think about it. You can clean up after his enthusiastic efforts.”

Red scowled but wisely said nothing. Edge ignored him and turned to Stretch. “Now you...YOU hardly have anything to contribute, other than piecing together bits of that machine. But we'll figure SOMETHING out, don't you worry.”

“Be still, my beating heart,” Stretch monotoned, his fingers twitching for a cigarette and of course having none. He sat in tense silence until Blue announced dinner prepared, and resigned himself to whatever concoction his brother had decided to whip up in the fridge.

The meal was edible and the dishes were taken care of before the house quieted down and everyone began to turn in for the night hours. Stretch made sure Blue was headed down to bed before turning to ask if Red could spare a cigarette only to see the front door close as Red left the house, possibly to head over to Grillby's.

Well, shit.

The only thing to do then was sleep his craving off. He sighed and stood up to head to the basement when Edge walked in and shut the basement door, pinning Stretch in place with an ember-like eyelight.

“Sit,” he commanded. “I wish to speak with you.”

Stretch scowled. “I'm too tired for this, Edgelord,” he shot back. “Fuck off and let me go to bed—“ He cut off with a yelp when his doppleganger snatched his soul in a blue hold and shoved him back down to the couch. “Hey, what gives!?”

“Be silent,” Edge hissed, stalking up and looming over Stretch, his eyelights gleaming brightly. He eyed over Stretch for a moment before reaching down and roughly holding the other Papyrus's jaw. “You need to learn to keep quiet sometimes, ash trash. In many ways here, it's the difference between life and death.”

He let go of Stretch's jaw, folding his hands behind his back. “I wasn't kidding when I said you're going to pull your weight around here. Your brother is enough of a homemaker to keep the house clean and running, but I can tell you barely wash your own clothes, let alone anyone else's. And I wouldn't trust you in the kitchen. So that leaves your options to the bare minimum.”

He began pacing in front of Stretch, his posture rod-straight. “I've thought about it, and I've come to the conclusion that your usefulness can be utilized in another way.”

Stretch glowered, twitching against the blue hold on his soul. “What are you on about?” he demanded. “Let me go!”

“Be. Silent.” Edge's tone turned as sharp as his moniker, his pacing coming to a halt. “Learn the laws of this world while you're in it, lest you perish in it, trash.” He leaned in closer, his eyelights looking disturbingly like droplets of blood gleaming in the light. “You're going to be here for some time. And in that time, I can be gracious and kind, or I can be cruel. Which one I decide depends entirely on you.”

Stretch's jaw twitched, feeling an impending sense of dread crawl over his spine. “...what do you want?” he asked, sounding much less courageous than he had intended. Edge's expression was a mix of amused and appraising, something that did nothing to ease his suspicions.

Edge actually smiled, a terrifying image in and of itself. “I want you to become my pet.”

Stretch stared, unable to process the statement for several long moments. “......what?” he said. “......WHAT?”

“I didn't stutter,” Edge replied. “You'll become my pet and earn your place here.” He folded his hands behind his back, a sinister gleam in his eyelights. “It's only good manners to pay such a kindness we're offering back. And I can promise you, you will not find a kinder offer ANYWHERE outside this house.”

“You're fuckin' insane,” Stretch muttered, twitching harder against the blue hold. “Insane and sick!”

“And KIND.” Edge leaned down, his eyelights glinting sharply—and most uncomfortably to Stretch—as he came close enough for Stretch to catch what smelled like a combination of blood and coffee on his breath. “Do you want to know what happens to low-LV Monsters who go unclaimed outside? Do you want a detailed description of the carnage I've seen on the sides of the road before I put some order in this gods-forsaken put of hell? Do you want to know what I've seen in the CAPITOL?” He shook his head slowly. “You really don't, trash.”

He leaned back, flicking his hand and releasing the blue hold from Stretch, who couldn't for the life of him muster up the will to move. “For the weaker breed like yourself and your brother, your only options are servitude to a higher-ranked Monster, or taking a dive off of Waterfall's Abyss in the hopes of a quick death.” He paused. “Well, there's also the option of picking off weak Monsters for the EXP. But something tells me that's not an option for you. So.” He smiled, looking far too happy for comfort.

“Stay here safe, or go out THERE. Which will it be?”

Stretch could KILL the bastard. He really, truly could. Out of the multiverse's Papyruses, this one was the worst of the worst, and Stretch felt things would be better if Fell never existed. To use the situation against him like this—against BLUE like this—!

“Or, you can simply sit there like a useless lump and do nothing,” Edge cut in, his nonchalant tone raising immediate suspicion. “One way or another...” He brought his hands out from behind his back, a black collar hooked onto his clawed finger. “...A Swap brother is going to be my pet. And quite frankly, Blue IS much cuter than you are.”

Stretch snarled, lurching up only to have his cervical bones caught in a firm, threatening grip. He went stock still, feeling a swirl of lethal intent in the hand that held his neck and just KNEW, deep down to his soul, that this hand could easily cleave his head from his shoulders.

Edge was dead serious.

And just from the context, Edge wasn't even the WORST he could run into.

Although at this moment, the worst was literally at his metaphorical throat and Stretch wanted to LIVE.

Stretch's body trembled as he felt his frame submit under the hold of the stronger Monster, and Edge let him go, letting him drop back onto the couch.

“Good boy,” Edge said, that terrifying grin leering down at him again. “You'll find that I can be very kind when I am obeyed, ash trash. And after all...”

He latched the collar around Stretch's cervical bones, clipping it shut before giving Stretch's skull a condescending pat.

“...it's not like you'll be here forever.”

Stretch felt as though his soul had been signed away to the devil.

And gods, he could REALLY use a cigarette.