#Bro idk the shblr tags help
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Honestly, knowing people who have substance addictions and comparing that to my relationship with self harm is predictable but unsettling
#Ive known its an addiction for years but like it really just is huh. This is just an addiction that I fell into#Tw sh#Tw self harm#I dont really know where im going with this but I fucking hope I get sepsis and die#I hate how much of a burden I am on other people lately especially my closest friends#But I know that if they left id die anyways#I hate that ive made them make this decision qnd I hate that theyve decided to stay#Ive been trying to slowly drive away some of my closer friends at least to a point where they wont notice/care if I die#I dont want to make it to sixteen#I know it was like this last time bht fuck I dont want to keep being alive I want this to be my last year#Ive done enough#tw sui ideation#I will never be able to safely function on my own without ending uo seriously hurting or killing myself#And I will never be able to rely on people without hating myself to the point of suicidality#Maybe if I thought they did it out of love rather than obligation it would be different but theyve made it clear enough#Im just a chore for them to deal with and set aside until I can actually take care of myself#Rationally I know im wrong I know im cared for but fuck. They sure dont like letting me see it#You can say you care for me thousands of times and its not gonna be worth shit when im in the ground#vent blog#vent post#shblur#tw self h4rm#self h@rm#Bro idk the shblr tags help
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