#Brief emotional honesty is about the best Agatha can do really

[rita-repulsa-ke]

The Dating Game - Finale

Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 Pt4 Pt5 Pt6 Pt7 Pt8 Pt9

“Trap me in a bottle? A shoddy, plastic, mass-manufactured bottle and with my own spell?? Who does Jennifer Kale think she is? I'll show her...”

****

“Hi, Jen.”

“Ooooh, hi, Rio, darling.”

“I want Agatha.”

“Nooo, I have extremely evil plans for her, because I’m incredibly petty and vindictive about something she didn’t even know she’d done.”

“…Agatha, I know it’s you.”

“Agatha who? It is I, Jennifer Kale, a simple potions witch—hahahahaha, okay, you got me. What do you think? As bodies go, not bad, huh? Though of course, nothing on the original."

“Better than a ghost.”

“I don’t know, I was just starting to adjust. The being trapped by my own spell was a surprise, though, and not the pleasant kind. Which, by the way, where were you when I was being stuffed into a bottle?”

“What, I was supposed to rescue you?”

“…Well, you could have. For old time’s sake. It was fine, though. I got myself out of it."

“I knew you would. …Jen gave me a potion. Want to see?”

“Do I want to see a potion? I mean, yes, of course I do.”

“Can you tell what’s in it?”

“What, without even tasting it? I’m not a potions witch, Rio…let’s see, water of Styx, cloves, red 40…so what, emotional cleansing? That’s—ugh, I hate even saying it, but that is clever. Have to give it to her, Jen knows her craft. But she should stay in her lane. Spirit containment is not her strong suit.”

“Heh. Love watching you do that.”

“So why did she give you a—oh.”

“Mmhmm.”

“Well—well, good. Maybe you can finally move on. Get over me. Do something productive with your life and leave me alone.”

“Is that really what you want, Agatha?”

“Of course it is.”

“…Okay.”

"Wait!”

“…”

“…I…I mean, isn’t it a little sad to rely on magic for this sort of thing? And who knows what drinking that would even do to you, it’s probably not safe for supernatural beings…”

"...Agatha, I know you love me. Why can’t you just say it?!”

“…not ready yet.”

“...Beloved, it's been centuries.”

“So? I mean, you’re immortal. What’s the rush?”

“Do you know how much I miss you? I’ve missed you for so long, I didn’t even get to see you for decades. I—I think I’m tired? I’m tired of chasing you. I’m tired of being alone. It would be so much easier, Ags, if I didn’t love you.”

“…”

“So do what you always do. Manipulate me. Tell me what I want to hear long enough to get what you want. Or—I don’t know, Agatha, maybe we could both move on?”

“…of course I love you.”

“What.”

“Of course I love you, of course I never did manage to stop, even when I tried, even when you were showing up to stalk me and wreck my life, even when I had the book and you weren’t there, I never stopped being in love with you!"

"Then why..."

"You didn’t love me enough to save him! And don’t you dare lecture me about the balance or the natural order, he was my son and you said you loved me!”

“…Agatha…”

“I—ugh, gross, I’m crying. I hate crying—maybe being a ghost is better, I bet ghosts can’t cry. …Listen, just wait, okay? Wait for me. And no, I don’t care if it is unfair, I get to be unfair if I want, you’ve been around since the beginning of the universe, a few hundred years is nothing to you and you tore my heart out, the least you can do is wait for me a while longer.”

“…you’re going to deny saying all of this later, aren’t you.”

“You know it. Hold me now, though, okay?”

“...Oh. Always. …I can't believe you said it. Maybe I should keep the potion…”

“…dissiliunt in speculo… oh! Gosh, would you look at that? The bottle exploded. So hard to get good glass these days.”

“…could you have done that the whole time?”

“Heh. Who knows. …Hey, Rio. Don’t leave me, okay?”

“You don’t make it easy.”

“No. I never did. I probably never will. …I do love you, though. That’s why it hurts so much.”

“…Don’t make me wait forever?”

“No. I am a ghost, though. Might be a problem. You hate ghosts.”

“You won’t be a ghost forever.”

“Ugh. Don’t remind me. …Hey, can I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

“Okay here go—ack, what, get off me, we are so not together like that!!”

“…Very funny, Ags.”

“Hahahahahahahahaha! The look on your faces! Ah, that’s going to keep me warm at night.”

“…”

“Hey, Jen, check your social media feed, I posted some very funny stuff. Also the ingredient list for your ‘all-natural’ products.”

“Wha—Agatha!”

“Don’t try and play a player, honey! …and Rio…uh…see you around?”

“Mmhmm. Always, beloved.”

“…ugh. Sure. Byyyye.”

“Agatha, wait, you get back here! …what did she post?? I’m going to kill her!”

“She’s already dead.”

“Hey, you! You are utterly terrible at this. You didn’t even drink the potion, did you??”

“…heh. No, but thank you. She finally said it. She loves me. She loves me and she said it. She wants me to wait for her. I don't mind. She's mine and I'm hers. I can wait as long as it takes, for Agatha Harkness."

"...please, please get a therapist."

Masterpost link to a totally normal number of Agatha fics