#Brad is actually Abed to me

[yuenity]

pretty much watched the entire first season of mythic quest in one day and I LITERALLY CANNOT SEPARATE BRAD AND ABED

[bee-wg]

Year 3:

Now that I think about it, football has been a constant in my life for five years now. I’m not sure if I enjoy football anymore; it used to be about the fun we have passing the ball, now it’s all about the stats or the perfect form. 

I stood up from the bleachers to hand Brad his towel.

“I’m going to leave the team, Brad,” I said.

“What? Where did this come from?” He said frantically.

“Everyone knows I’m still on the team because you’re the team’s captain now,” I said.

“I don’t want to cause tension between you and Coach. There’s nothing I could do wobbling around the field anyway,” I added.

“Dude, you know I started playing football because of you, right?” Brad said.

“Bradley, relax. I’m not dead. You can come over to my house whenever you want.” I said.

“Theo can make you some lemon pudding cakes if you want to come,” hopefully this will calm him.

“Fine. Just so you know, I’m not happy about this,” he said, sounding like a brat.

“Okay, got it. Have fun at the party,” I chuckled.

“I won’t. I’m going to make the DJ play Lana Del Rey,” he said before entering the locker room.

There might be an oversight of me quitting football.

It’s literally the reason why I quit. I don’t know why it never crossed my mind.

How the fuck am I going to lose weight now?

“Maybe I would’ve thought it if the word, “exercise” was anywhere on my to-do list this past year,” the voice from the back of my head said.

Shut up, rational thought. I was just a little too cocky, that’s all.

My mind spins around the paths I could take to shed the fat.

Back to the gym for the bodybuilders to laugh at me jiggling like a puddle of slime on the treadmill.

No. Hard no.

Stop eating whatever Theo puts in front of my face.

Productive, but I’d rather die than miss out on the joy of the world.

Post my weight loss journey edits on social media, reminiscing on my rock-hard abs like a depressed, fat person.

No? No, actually it might just work.

My thumbs got to work. It took me an hour to choose a profile picture that represents me. I could go for a vacation photo by the beach, or the classic black and white moody gym pic. Except, I don’t have a picture of myself on my phone, so I chose the picture of an orange cat eating a banana.

With my camera set up, in my favourite green tank top. I pressed record.

It was an embarrassing experience editing myself, watching my belly sway every time I made a movement. In the end, I closed my eyes and uploaded the video.

“Oh! First comment already.” I said.

“Look at those milkers spilling out the tanks!”

3. Post my weight loss journey edits on social media, reminiscing on my rock-hard abs like a depressed, fat person.

The following weeks consisted of me eating my feelings. At least half of my classes are online this semester. I can be embarrassed in peace.

The pounds kept creeping up with each spoon of ice cream down my throat. In the blink of an eye, I am dangerously close to 300 pounds.

I finally worked up the courage to ask during a normal family dinner.

“Honey, what happened? You’re not eating as fast as usual. Is Theo not cooking enough?” Mom asked.

“No, Mom, I just…I just hope you guys can ease up with your little cooking competitions.”

“Oh honey, you know Theo and I will stop with the food whenever you ask.” Mom tries to reassure me.

“No! Obviously don’t stop the food. It’s just that I’ve been blowing up like a pig and I don’t know what to do about it.” I said.

“I didn’t know you were sad about it. I just want my family to be happy, you look the happiest when you eat,” Mom said

“It wouldn’t have helped when you guys lost for the past two years,” Mom added.

“Well, Dad likes to eat better, and no one eats like him,” I replied. 

“I’m sure my cooking was the reason we won. David is a gym teacher, he walks off the food easily,” Mom said.

“Theo is a professional though, no offence but no one on the planet cooks like him. I’m sure football was the reason we lost,” I said, trying to talk some sense into her.

Theo stares at us with wide eyes.

“Jacob, I’m sure you didn’t mean it,” Mom said with a blank face.

“You know what? Keep doing your competition, this time again next year we’ll see who’s the winner,” I said.

I am clearly a failure at losing weight. The only thing I’m good at is eating. If I’m going to gain weight anyway, I’m going to go all out and win this shit once and for all. Once this is settled, I can get back to normal. Not wanting to disappoint Theo when we lose again was probably the thing holding me back. I can’t wait to eat all the delicious things Theo is- I can’t wait for this to be over.

“Alright, Jay,” she turned to Theo and said.

“Theo, my boy. I’m looking forward to seeing the results next year,” Mom said with a determined smile.

Everyone knows not to mess with Mom when she has that look. Even then, I feel like we could still win. Theo’s food is hypnotic already when I am restrained; imagine what it will do to me when I’m going all out.

“What’s going on again?” Dad asked with cheeks full of pasta.

“Don’t worry baby, you just need to eat a little more next year,” Mom answered.

“Okay, as long as I get my lasagnas,” Dad said.

Later at night, struggling to sleep, I contemplated on the bad decisions I’ve made. This one might take the crown to be the stupidest thing I’ve done. Yet, I don’t regret it.

“You didn’t have to stand up for me,” Theo said.

“It’s the least I can do when you wake up early to prep for my food, or go off on the weekends for groceries when you could’ve been doing anything else,” I explained.

“Thank you so much, Jay. You don’t know how much this means to me. My family wanted me to do anything other than cooking, but you guys have been nothing but supportive,” he said.

I smiled at the ceiling. The gremlin is nicer than I remember.

“Now, I won’t allow you to slack anymore with the amount you’re eating. Not until the competition ends.”

Huh?

Theo had stuck to his word and increased the amount he was cooking. I am now eating the amount of three people in each spread-out meal, still lacking behind Dad’s impressive five person’s amount per meal. So I have been playing catch up with him this entire month.

I realized quickly that I had underestimated the gap between Dad and my appetite. In the last few years, for the most part, I have been eating whatever I want, leaving the rest to Dad. With the exception of eating for the team once a week, I have been slacking. That was quite a hard pill to swallow. I’m 300 pounds, yet not doing a good job as a fatass. How is that possible?

So far I have gained about 23 pounds in the past two months. Normally, I would freak out and have a breakdown in bed because I’ve gained more than my freshman year in two months. Right now with my messed up head, all I can think about is how far I am behind. If we lose this again, it would be once and for all, and I would never let myself live this down. Theo deserves better with how good he’s been treating me.

With my new bulk, the stairs have been an increasing challenge. So, a few weeks ago I moved downstairs to a tiny guest room that was converted to a storage room.

The moment I moved down, I could hear Theo’s voice yelling, “Yes, Finally! Goodbye insomnia,” In my old bedroom. Before, I would’ve yelled for the brat to shut up. Now, with my stomach full. I just wanted a nap in peace.

It took me no time to adjust to the new arrangement. With more time home from all the online classes, I get to be as lazy as I want. Dad has a similar arrangement at home. He retired from being a high school gym teacher and football coach, now he tutors history at home. He also abandoned his hobby of brewing in order to laze on the sofa all day.

On weekdays, Theo would leave an abundance of food for me to consume with a list of how I should eat them to expand my capacity. The weekends are like heaven. From the moment I woke up, Theo would prepare delicious appetizers and pancakes for me. From then on, I would have a constant stream of food flowing into my mouth every thirty minutes. Sometimes, I would move my hands and my mouth would start to chew unconsciously. Alarming, but helpful. 

My belly started to expand outwards on my lap each day as I sat in front of the computer. The arm rest would feel more snug when I move around.

I have now discovered the perks of being a fatass. I can explore things I never had time to do, like the anime Brad has been begging me to watch, games I always wanted to play. Best of all is to experience all of these without moving an inch. These are the things I would definitely look back on with fondness when the competition ends.

***

Today is my rare outing of the month; the bus is late again but I don’t blame them this time. The downpour of rain is gathering at the clogged sewer, creating a puddle. People are supposed to grow out of stepping in puddles when they’re kids. These undeveloped assholes apparently didn’t. Several cars saw the puddle and decided to splash it straight to my face.

It’s fine. It’s all fine. I will feel better later.

I walked a small trail after getting off the bus.

Great. The angels decide to stop peeing from the heavens when I’m about to get inside.

Dad is buying a new SUV, maybe I can drive it next time. It’s too big to sneak off though.

I thought as I skipped through the stone pathway. The usual grass is covered by the water, creating a small pond.

“Annyeonghaseyo,” I said to the door cam.

After pressing the doorbell several times, it replied.

"안녕, fuck boy. Back so soon?" Number Seven said.

“Yeah, yeah. Just open the damn door,” I said, trying to hurry the fucker.

Number Seven’s face appears in front of me.

“You’re soaked! Come on in,” he said.

His house appears to be orderly. Clean. He must’ve had another fatass here not long ago.

“Woah, you look—Wait, let me guess. Another fifteen pounds since last time?” He asked.

“Come on, let’s cut to the chase. I really need it right now,” I urged.

“Hahaha, not even a shower. Desperate much?” He said.

I walked inside his bedroom, dimmed the lights and took off my shirt.

He walked towards me. Grabbing me by the belly hang in one hand, he pulls down my underwear, causing my ass to vibrate.

“Fuuuuck, can you take it out first?” I asked, trying not to moan.

“Sure, you think you’re ready for me today?” He asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” I answered. 

He slid his hand behind, right down my ass crack and slowly pulled the vibrator off. I applied it before leaving home, without accounting for the possibility of the bus delay.

“Mmmmph, fuck,” I groaned.

I’ve been training towards today for a while. In the beginning, I would come to his house and he would suck me off. If I’m feeling experimental, I would suck him off. It stayed like that for about a year and he never complained. Then I asked him for more. He would start fucking me between my moobs or between my ass but never enter. One day, I told him I was ready for him to start fucking me.

Big mistake.

He’s a manwhore for a reason. I didn’t think an 8-inch would be so hard to take. How the girls and twinks take them in porn is beyond me. It was painful when he entered, even when he said he had “loosened my hole” with his fingers. I shouldn’t have believed him, the fucking thing was massive.

After the incident, he gave me small dildos and vibrators to get used to it. We eventually worked our way up the scale until the one he’s holding now. Why did I do all this work to have a men’s dick in my ass? Who knows. I have already accepted that I’ve lost it.

He sucked on my nipple suddenly. The sensation took me by surprise.

“Dude, some warnings please,” I asked.

“Yeah, sorry. Those tits are just so plumped. Your nipples have grown larger than my thumbs now,” he said, about to continue.

“OKAY, I get it. Can you get to work now?” I asked.

My boobs are what everyone thinks about when they see me these days. I’m sick of it.

“Hahahaha, can’t wait to be fucked, my pig?” He said before pushing me down the mattress.

I held my belly to stop it from jiggling. 

He raised one of my legs and opened the bottle of lube with his teeth.

“There’s something by the pillow. Put it in your mouth. It will distract you and dull the initial pain,” Number Seven instructed.

I reached out to grab a—frosted pound cake?

I’ve never seen people doing this in porn, but I’m smart enough to know not everything in porn is real. 

With my mouth full of cake, I spread out my legs, trying to relax so I don’t end up like last time.

He pushed two fingers in, slowly massaging me, then three fingers to stretch my hole. When the frosting melted in my mouth and I finished the chunk of the cake, he signalled me that he was done.

Another piece of the pound cake fills my mouth when he aligns his cock to my hole. He was right, I was fully consumed by the sweetness to notice any discomfort. I quickly swallowed the cake so he could proceed. 

It was unbearably slow as he entered. I don’t understand what all the fuss is about with people bottoming.

He kept asking for reassurance. At this point I just want him to st—

“A-ahhhh oh shiiit!” I moaned.

“Fuuuuuck, what the hell was that?” I screamed.

I must have been too loud and spooked him.

“Are you alright? Sh-should I call an ambulance?” He asked.

“No! Don’t stop, please,” I begged

“Okay, just so you know, I’m not all the way in,” He said.

How? This is already longer than any toys I’ve put in there.

“Gnghhhhh~” I moaned as he thrusts all the way to the bottom.

He kept a steady pace all the way in then almost all the way out, leaving me feeling empty.

“Hurry! Faster,” I asked, almost in tears.

He looked at me with a devious smile and thrust right into the spot.

“Mphn- Yes! Keep going,” I urged.

Every small movement rubbing my G-spot feels like masturbating for hours without release.

He thrusts quicker with more force, causing my belly and moobs to shake violently. 

I try to stabilize my belly with my hand before trying to reach my throbbing cock.

“Help, I-aghh fuck, I need to touch my dick,” I asked.

“Let go of your belly, fat boy. Or I’ll stop,” He said.

Immediately, my belly returned to wobble violently.

“I can’t believe you turned into such a pathetic horny mess in such a short time,” He said.

”Come on, Seven. I just need you to hit that spot. Please, I’ll do anything!” I begged.

He keeps deliberately missing it. I need to be fucked there!

“Keep your hands on your nipples,” he ordered.

The over-sensitive nipples drive my weeping cock into a frenzy.

Fuck, I need to touch my cock right now. If only my fucking belly is not on the way.

“You know, when I first saw you, I thought you were the kind of jock to gain a beer belly in college, and not get fat until you turn thirty,” he said, before ramming straight into my prostate.

“Fuuuuck yeahhh,” I said unintelligently. 

“You are much more of a pig than I realized,” he said, thrusting straight into it again.

“Helll yeahhh,” I said, trying to rob my ass to his dick.

“How do you feel seeing your bubble butt balloons four times the original size?” He asked, followed by another thrust. 

“I fucking love it! I love how it wobbles around whenever I walk!” I said, moving my jiggling ass back to his dick again.

“How do you feel seeing your abs growing before your eyes, knowing you could stop it if you just stop eating?”Another thrust.

“I can’t help it! I love eating too much!” Maybe I am meant to be a fat ass.

“Right answer. Now you’ll get your reward,” he said and sped up, hitting the spot perfectly every time.

I imagine his face to be someone else, someone far from my league.

My cock rubbed against my sensitive underbelly, and I shot out jets of cum for what felt like forever.

As white clouded my vision, a euphoric relief spread over my body, melting me into the mattress.

“You passing out again, fuck boy?” Seven asked.

“No, just enjoying the bliss. I can’t believe so many men in the world are missing out on this,” My hole already feels empty. How am I going to go back from this?

“Aww man, I’m all sticky and shit,” I examined my body, cum shots and rain definitely don’t mix well together. Some of them even got between the fat folds. I swipe my finger in between the fat. “Oof, I stink too.”

Seven looked at me and signed. “You’re somehow still a stupid jock inside.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked.

“I got you the fast food you asked for,” he said.

“Yes!” I rushed to the kitchen.

Ignoring his stupid laugh, I microwaved the burger and fries.

The breeze of the air conditioning reminds me of something.

“Shit, I ran out here naked.”

When I ran back, he had already put my clothes in the dryer, and I got into the shower.

When I got out, Seven brought me an old shirt I left here. It fits me like a glove with half my belly exposed. He stopped laughing when I was about to throw myself on him, then brought out a shirt with the Flash’s symbol on. Probably from another fat ass he fucks. The shirt still looks painted on, revealing the shape of my nipple and the dent of my belly button. At least he’s driving me home.

***

Staying at home has been a life-altering experience. 

The only time I ever move is going out of the bed to the desk, or to the bathroom. All I have to do is sit back, relax, and eat some fried food. 

With more time with myself. I’ve realized how much I dislike all the people in school that only approached me because I was one of the football jocks. I could’ve been anyone. Now, I am me. Not a worry about whether or not I’m muscular enough like other jocks, just a bigger Jay.

Sitting beside me, Dad scratched his belly and released a belch without a care in the world. He has adapted to fat guy mannerisms quickly. I’m catching up too. Today is movie night, usually we have pizzas and beers. We started this when the football season came, he asked to skip it. It was the first time we’ve skipped watching a Super Bowl season. I guess I’m not the only one losing interest in the sport. We decided to watch the Lin-Manuel Miranda Monkey movie instead.

Being on the couch with Dad made me realize I was getting closer to my goal. I can’t wait to see the results.

***

“Hell yeah, my man, you can do it!” Brad said, slapping my shoulder.

“What are you doing here?” I asked

“You said I can come in whenever I like,” he replied.

He’s been breaking into my house for no reason, just to stay on the second floor the entire time doing god knows what.

“I’ve brought some beef jerky here to celebrate,” Brad said.  

The scale has been set up, we’re only waiting on Mom. They’re doing some last minute catch up; mom is using a funnel to pour some milkshake in him. I am not concerned though, sticking to Theo’s strict diet every day has not been easy. I have to eat until my stomach is fully bloated. Every morning, I watch my belly deflate a little less, every evening, it bloats even further. 

“Don’t worry, Jay. We’ve got this,” Theo assured me.

“By the way, what are we doing again?” Brad asked.

Dad came out, looking absolutely massive. With Mom on his side, he stepped on the scale.

The numbers keep going up and don't seem to be stopping.

300-350-392-400-443

Holy shit, Dad gained a hundred and forty pounds this year. 

With more uncertainty, I took my step on the scale.

“Woo-Hoo, Jay man, you got this!” Brad shouted quietly.

I try to look under to see the number, but my belly is too big for me to see the scale.

Theo stepped closer and read. 

“Four Hundred and fifty yes!” Theo cheered.

“I won? Yes, finally!” I said and did a little jump.

The scale made a “Pop” noise.

“Oh! Sorry, Mom. I know this is really expensive.”

“Don’t worry, sweetie. We need to upgrade anyway,” Mom said, then she walked towards Theo.

“Congratulations Theo, you made me pull out every trick in my book. It’s so nice seeing you improve so much in front of my eyes, in terms, you pushed me to improve too,” Mom said, then hugged Theo.

“I can’t believe my boy is bigger than me now. Excellent work, Jay!” Dad said and hugged me, too.

Last time I was bigger than Dad I had sculpted abs, the body I dreamed of. This time, I’m almost three times the size as I was, fully covered with fat. Yet, I feel less empty inside.

“Thank you Dad,” I said, hugging him back. 

After all this time, I finally have a body I like being in. The belly doesn't look so wrong on me anymore.

Chapter 4 ->

[sphericalbee]

this fandom has 2 crack fics and it like guys im hungry...

i wish mythic quest was a bigger fandom bc then ppl would write weird smut abt zack and david do you even get it

[tgmsunmontue]

I never knew I was missing you 3/? WIP

Jake is just trying to find a connection. Shame the guy he connects with the most is lying about his identity online; because he sure as hell isn't A-list Hollywood star Bradley Bradshaw.

ONE TWO

PART THREE

                Jake can barely believe that he’s enjoying chatting with someone electronically so much. He’s always been a social person, never considered that he’d be able to make a connection with someone without it being in person. Everything he’d already thought, double with the fact he’s now seen a clip of Brad’s abs, and yes, he’s vain, sue him, but it has him even more curious about meeting him.

…            …            …

>>See what your namesake does to me?

                Bradley opens the app and almost chokes on his tongue. Jake’s cock is lying on his stomach, still hard but he’s clearly just come. It’s fucking gorgeous and Bradley wants to lick it clean. His hands tremble a little as he types out his response.

>>Jesus. Warn a guy.

>>You going to reciprocate?

                God. Slider would kill him if he sent pictures, let alone ones of his cock, no matter what state it was in. Which right now is increasingly hard. They haven’t done this before, just teetered very carefully along the line but not quite tipping over. Of course, Jake’s now gone and done a deep-dive and Bradley is getting hard in his pants. He doesn’t even know if he can or should take a screen shot. He needs to ask for some advice.

                “Neil! How secure is my phone…?”

                “As secure as we can make it… why?”

                “Just. Uh. If I was going to send some pictures…”

                “Nope. Don’t do it man.”

                “But…”

                “Bradley. Callie would kill you.”

                “Shit. I hadn’t even thought of her. Just Slider.”

                “Oh yeah, fuck. You’re dead regardless, so don’t do it. Look. Just ask the guy to do a video call. Problem solved.”

                “Oh! Yeah. That’s really smart… Thanks man!”

                “Yeah, no problem.”

                Bradley waves his hand and goes to his bedroom,

>>You want to see how hard you make me?

>>You willing to accept a video call?

>>You serious?

…            …            …

                Jake blinks.

                Brad wants to do a video call.

                Holy shit.

                That’s more than just a face reveal, that’s an entire whole thing, voice and face and body

>>Hell yes. Bring it.

                He sends through his number and not even fifteen seconds later his phone is vibrating and chiming and he scrambles to answer it. He doesn’t get to see Brad's face for more than a second, and he’s covered in dark-golden stubble but Jake isn’t sure if he’s imagining the passing likeness to Bradley Bradshaw or whether he’s just projecting and maybe becoming slightly delusional. Maybe Brad does double-work or something. Huh. Does he have a brother maybe? Brad is mumbling and fixing his phone onto something and then he’s got a view down the expanse of Brad’s body and holy shit he’s gorgeous.

                “Brad, I just got off… what do you want me to do here?”

                “Watch.”

                “Oh. Fuck. Yeah. Okay. I can do that…”

                He watches as Brad’s hand works on his cock, as he rolls out of frame for a brief moment and then comes back with slick fingers and then he’s groaning. Jake groans in response, wishes he was wearing headphones so he could pretend that moan was right into his ear rather than through a screen. Brad’s body looks enough like Bradley Bradshaw he could pretend it’s actually him, but he doesn’t want to delude himself like that. Plus he’s already jerked off over pictures of Bradley Bradshaw today, right now he has a very real Brad jerking off for him and he’s fucking hot, breath coming in little gasps as his hand works. Then there are fingers going behind his balls and Jake groans again, because he can’t zoom in, or get in close and personal no matter how much he wants to. Then he hears what Brad is saying, Jake’s name on repeat and he groans, palms his cock because he’s getting hard again.

                “Brad…” he breathes, voice husky and he hears and sees Brad’s body shiver. “Fuck you’re beautiful. You going to come for me baby?”

                Brad makes a little broken sound, his hips jerking up and his breath is coming harder and faster, hand a blur of movement and it’s all too small on the screen of his phone, Jake wants this in person. As soon as possible. The fact that Brad’s done this, video called him, makes him feel more confident that maybe he’ll share his real name with him, although he sort of hopes his name at least has Brad in it, because it’s very firmly stuck in his head now. However he’ll get used to calling him by his real name eventually.

                “Jake, Jake, Jake… so close…”

                “Come on then baby, no need to hold back on my part. I already came remember?” Jake reminds him, although he’s pretty sure he will be coming again soon enough. And then, as he watches, he sees Brad’s body freeze and he worries for a brief moment that the connection has been lost, but the sound coming through is Brad’s broken gasping breaths sounding wrecked and then Brad’s body slumps like the strings have been cut.

                “Fucking gorgeous…” Jake breathes. “Want to lick you clean.”

                For some reason that makes Brad let out a huff of laughter.

                “Great minds. I had the same thought when I saw that picture you sent through to me.”

                “What? Gorgeous?”

                “Well, yeah, obviously. But more the wanting to lick you clean.”

                “Oh… hmm. Yeah. We should get onto that.”

                “We should, should we?” Brad asks, amusement clear and Jake rolls his eyes.

                “Yeah. We should.”

FOUR

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 2 thoughts

ah, this episode! i have heard it is very scary. so i’m curious to see how creepy it can be. usually what gets me the most is body horror, at least so far. 

i’m really not a horror fan so i’m interested to see if this will push my limits or just be kinda silly. remember that evil AI in like s1 episode 8? and when it was unplugged it said “noooo, brad :(“ or something like that? yeah that one just made me giggle lol

(author's note after seeing the episode: what...)

(additional author's note: read to the end to see why i think this episode might be actually about the civil war's long-term consequences)

how far we have progressed since then! 

let us begin!!!

we open with a storm and some scary music. pretty intense for the first few seconds. oh, now someone is giving birth. it is very dark and hard to see but it appears these individuals do not look like your average fellow off the street.

GAG! slurping noises are produced as the baby emerges. birth counts as body horror btw i do NOT make the rules. EUGH the umbilical cord…

(sorry y’all pls take no offense to those who have or desire children someday... it’s just something that makes me feel dizzy to watch but i support your dreams and choices i promise 🙏)

okay, but the baby is crying so that’s usually a good sign right? like better than a quiet baby, i think.

but a bunch of people are leaving after the delivery and i thought they would stick around to do things like look at the baby and see if it is healthy and stuff. but no. they’re leaving. where are they going...

they’re digging a hole?????? WHAT DA HELL. BABY IN THE HOLE??!!!!!! while someone cries terribly. OMG the grief…

WHAT THE HELL???

what have i gotten myself into……

intro time. always gonna think about that tweet regarding scully’s glamour shot on her ID. anyway just in case you forgot the truth IS out there.

so we see some kids in a place called home, pennsylvania, and they’re playing baseball. you know how children are, with their baseball. it’s as serious to them as a senator running a reelection campaign. 

kid knocks the ball over the fence, and onto the property of “the peacocks”. the kids will NOT go get the ball, and instead find a spare. seems they prepared for this, or could maybe find a place that isn’t next to a very scary house to play ball, but i understand spacial constraints.

OH???? the kid is digging his foot in to go swing and…. BLOODY PUDDLE???? THIS MUST BE THE BABY FROM BEFORE????

he backs away as we see a tiny hand in the dirt. that poor kid omfg he must have been traumatized… and his sneakers were so bright and white…..

cutscene to mulder in the field after all the kids have fled! ah, mulder loves his baseball. in fact, he even sniffs it. he’s practicing his pitching LMAOOOO please be serious for FIVE minutes. 

scully is measuring the hole while he does all this. in fact, he is not stopping. it just keeps going while she talks about the angle of the shovel.

she makes some quip about quitting the FBI and becoming a spokesperson for the ab roller, when he SHOVES THE BALL UNDER HER NOSE and says “smell that” THIS MAN IS SUUUUUCH A WEIRDO I LOVE HIM

“it’s perfume. eau de ball” (stupid little mulder smile)

very strong juxtaposition between baby death and a daydreaming mulder, but that is the sort of thing we have come to expect from this show. he seems enchanted.

WAIT! he’s talking about his sister… “all-day pickup games out on the Vineyard” and going down to the beach… no cell phones or faxes… oh man, this baseball has him talking about his family :(

“mulder, if you had to do without a cell phone for two minutes, you’d lapse into catatonic schizophrenia” <- WELL GET HIM! it is true. he is always making calls and then abruptly hanging up.

feels weird to be smiling like a fool at my screen as these two talk about their lives after seeing the opening scene... but here we are!

“scully, you don’t know me as well as you think you do. you know my work demands that i live in a big city, but if i had to settle down, build a home, it’d be a place like this” 

OHHHHH MY GOSH

1. he has though about settling down and having a life outside of his work, and this is such a character reveal, and i know he wants like a small army of children, and

2. i just KNOW those words are gonna come back and bite him when this place is revealed to be some sort of cult

she says it would be like living in mayberry which i had to google BUT: it is the town from the andy griffith show. ah, i see. so very quaint.

someone pulls up to see them and i paused at just the right time to see that mulder’s shirt is very baggy and living up to my URL, which is good because sometimes i worry it’s a bit TOO niche, but i made it after watching 4 episodes so i’m too attached to change it now. meanwhile, scully’s coat is wonderfully sleek and it’s a fun little contrast.

this is sheriff taylor, who says this is a very small town, and there are no real suspects. mulder asks about the peacocks next door, and the sheriff goes… quiet. apparently three boys lived there, and their parents were hurt in an accident. the sheriff and his team tried to administer care to the parents, but the boys took the bodies home??? that’s. odd.

so these peacocks have no electricity, grow their own food, and… are inbred. the sheriff says they are feeble and sad, and wouldn’t have any idea what they are talking about. which just makes me think they are the prime suspects.

the sheriff is saying that he loves his town, it is quiet and peaceful, and he knew someday it would change when something terrible happened. when he saw “it” in the ground, he knew that day had come. he seems convinced it’s an outsider but also he is purposefully ignoring all the evidence in the other direction. and he wants their help, but he doesn’t want anything to change. 

(i see... this is about the terrible secrets of small towns and the wish to keep everything quiet and preserve an idyllic image rather than make meaningful change)

apparently they were recommended to help out when “the victim” was described, so mulder says that maybe they should go take a look.

and whew, when they cut to a bundle of blankets next to some cans of spam (that look like they’re partially covered to hide the branding?) it’s a lot. it's a lot to handle, for me, emotionally, but i guess that's a fairly normal reaction. the sheriff just pulled the baby right out of the fridge. we also meet a deputy named barney.

they shove poor scully in a tiny bathroom with just a sink in it to do her work, because they don’t want anyone else seeing the autopsy go down. the sheriff says they can’t do it in his office, because everyone knows he never locks his office door, and they’d start rumors. this whole small town thing is starting to seem quite oppressive.

mulder is also here in this tiny closet-like bathroom, and i can feel the claustrophobia from here. despite the lack of space, scully begins.

and she is taken aback, but not as much by the fact that it is a child but that said child “has been afflicted by every rare birth defect known to science”. mulder has his arm on the wall leaning in and watching in a way that is weird for the space.

we only see a few shots of the baby- thankfully, because i don't think i could handle seeing any more of it than we do- but it’s enough to make me go whew, shout-out to the props department for making something that looks like that, because that is how i cope with seeing things on this show that make me nearly faint

she is reciting the various things that this child has been born with, and mulder says that they can probably rule out murder, right? but scully says idk… it looks like it WAS murder, actually. dirt in the nose.

lord, they walk out after doing that and somehow don’t need to like, down some vodka or something to cope. 

“imagine all a woman’s hopes and dreams for her child, and then nature turns so cruel. what must a mother go through?” oh my gosh is scully gonna make me cry…

“apparent not much in this case, if she just threw it out in the trash”, says mulder, while they sit on a bench on he is manspreading like you would not believe. but i assume they are in a tough spot mentally so manspreading is permitted in this situation.

“i guess i was just projecting on myself”, she says, and oh my gosh does scully want kids someday…. stop i’ll cry!! i’ll cry. 

“well, just find yourself a man with a spotless genetic makeup and a really high tolerance for being second-guessed and start pumping out the little uber-Scullys” he says, rubbing her back.

and i can’t decide if this is funnier if he’s truly and deeply down terrible for her and suggesting subtly that HE could be that man, or if he’s just being a really good pal. so i’m gonna turn around both options in my head for a while and see which sticks.

“what about your family?” “hm? aside from the need for corrective lenses and a tendency to be abducted by extraterrestrials involved in an international governmental conspiracy, the mulder family passes genetic muster” (said with a celebratory flourish of his hands)

oh my gooooooosh i love them both so bad. he is SUCH a nerd. and his constant need to joke about the horrible things… even when they are approaching a serious topic, life ambitions and the desire to start a family, he has to go in there with some sarcasm to avoid getting Too Serious...

see? he has good genes. allegedly. go forth.

but he sobers up, points out that the child they had to just examine is a serious tragedy, and some likely very young parents are probably incredibly scared. but this isn’t really an FBI matter. 10 points to him for being serious for once.

she is brainstorming how such a thing could happen- “now, we all have a natural instinct to propagate” “do we?” <- ace mulder subtext i see you…

scully is convinced that the woman who gave birth to that child did it against her will, and mulder points out that kidnapping is a bureau matter… she seems determined to save someone caught in a horrible circumstance here, and i admire that about her, the sense of justice she has. she gets up to go investigate.

but he calls out: “hey scully- i never saw you as a mother before” <- OH MY GOD??? OH MY GOD. i can’t even begin to process that right now. oh my gosh it seems like he has wanted kids SO terribly… but scully never really brought the subject up, which is fine because not everyone wants kids!! but what does it say about her character if she DOES…? i am analyzing.

i hope she is happy someday with whatever she chooses. music is playing as he looks after her. do not for a second think i missed that little musical flourish and gaze combo.

so, they go to the peacock's farm. where they find a chopped off pig’s head on the steps. it doesn’t seem to bother them at all, which must be a testament to the strength of bureau training.

mulder tries to do his usual “enter first and ask questions later” thing, but scully STOPS HIM, saying there is no probable cause.

WHAT!!! for once they did NOT JUST BURST IN!!??? their random entering of places is one of my favorite running gags and for once they didn’t. oh she is serious about this one…

so they just peek inside instead…. and then they get their guns and go inside after seeing a table covered in blood. oh…. the scissors from before…. yes, bloody table = probable cause

there is blood everywhere, and the footprint from the crime scene matches the footprint in blood on the floor. AND they find a bloody shovel. well!!! we know who did it now!!! but… where are they??

it is soooo dark and creepy as they make their way through the house. and someone is WATCHING THEM THE DARK as they investigate. BLEUGH we get an extreme closeup on their eyes…….

i am spooked.

now scully is on the phone with sheriff taylor, who is describing the warrants for the arrest of the peacocks he put out, while mulder slams a TV in their hotel room, trying to get it to work. typical mulder behavior

(i bet they felt a need to incorporate some silly moments to lighten out the heavy heavy heavy content, and honestly i didn't think it would work, but for me it kinda is. don't get me wrong, it's still VERY heavy, but it's not start to finish just trauma like we got in calusari, which stands out to me as being the darkest and least fun episode in the series so far. but let mulder sniff a baseball a little and smack a TV and our agents talk about having a family and it is slightly less overwhelming in terms of tone)

and she brings up the white cadillac they found there but he says get a lot of abandoned cars. damn, who is abandoning a cadillac...

what is this sheriff hiding…?

he pulls out his gun from a locked box, and seems deeply regretful. before he puts it back in the box… hmm…

back at the peacock farm. the brothers are packing what looks like clubs into the cadillac. and i notice how silent and scary the whole thing is… no music whatsoever.

meanwhile, mulder is doing a little dance to try and get the TV working, which scully is smiling at him in a way that implies long term affection and exhaustion. i want to get those gifs and save them upon my blog forever and ever.

he’s trying to watch the knicks game, but as she heads out, he says “goodnight mom”, and she looks… uncomfortable. i mean, it’s a weird thing to say, but still. he says a lot of weird things and she doesn’t always look sort of… hmm. idk, the only phrase that comes to mind is “cut to the quick”. i WILL be analyzing that.

she tries to leave and the lock is broken, so he places a chair underneath, which might do something but like… probably not a ton.

anyway, back to the cadillac, where the brothers are pulling out while listening to music. where are they going….

sheriff taylor is up late at night, “taking one last look around before it all changes”. oh, he loves his town… but it is rotten, like mulder says. AND HIS WIFE DOESN’T LOCK THE DOOR AS THEY COME IN!!! NOOOO!

the brothers are on the move, while scully sleeps and mulder watches a fuzzy documentary on hyenas?? okay. king behavior.

but back at the sheriff’s house, he can hear the brothers approaching, and pulling into his yard. oh no…. he looks out the window and the brothers aren’t there. so did they already get in…?

he’s going for the gun, he says, and they enter his house. and he’s got a baseball bat, but where is the gun! they have clubs! like the kind the bad guys in zelda use!!! they look very very dangerous!

he hears them approach as his wife is under the bed……… and he swings his bat at the intruder, but he is barreled right over, it’s three on one, and they beat him RIGHT AS HIS WIFE SEES THE WHOLE THING FROM UNDER THE BED. and they sniff and sniff and FIND HER UNDER THERE????????

what the fuck. who came up with this…….. that song is still playing as they get in their car and leave. i'm sure the song also has some significance to the meaning of what these guys are doing but tbh i have never heard it before so it's hard to unpack.

the deputy is at the scene of the crime the next day, smoking a cigarette, hands shaking in terror. he had come over to give the sheriff a report… and found them that way.

so the owner of the cadillac was found in baltimore, she had left it behind after running out of gas. this is not a lead in the slightest.

mulder is investigating the scene while scully pulls out files from the crime lab, and it is. well, it is very bad, to put it bluntly. the crime scene is horrific. 

she says that the crime scene messed up the tests on the infant… but mulder proposes that… perhaps each of the brothers were the father? she talks about how babies are made and how that makes no sense, but he proposes that generations of inbreeding could maybe make such a mutation. but she says that isn’t possible, they’d need a female family member and there aren’t any left. hmm...

scully wants to try and trail them right now and go save whoever it was that was forced to give birth, but mulder points out that they are outnumbered and could further endanger the victim. what to do…? i don’t know the answer. 

oh! the deputy barges in and says he’ll take them up there so it’s three against three. and they have guns, which should give them the advantage. okay. shoutout to the deputy.

mulder seems suspicious however, and says his suddenly entry was a bit “too chuck bronson for me”. so yeah, i had to google that too. this chuck fellow is the guy from machine gun-kelly. and NOT that sleazy rapper one. the more you know.

scully is confused, though, because why would they kill the sheriff? he didn’t even investigate them. unless they somehow overheard them talking about issuing the arrest warrants while in their house… and they are operating under the assumption that the brothers were not in the house when they were…. but we know that someone was in hiding!!!

OH! back to the house. one of the brothers declares he is hungry. we finally get a semi-decent look at them, and they are incredibly gruesome. someone is under the bed still…. 

and when they declare that they are “ready”, they strip down. they knew this day- and change- was coming, and all they can do is be ready for it. this is our home. and this is the way it’s gonna stay. 

again, i ask, who came up with this……

the deputy and our agents are on the property, now. deputy wants to come in from the front and let them take the back. a brave thing to offer, but i am slightly suspicious of him. they have wired headsets on and bullet proof vests on, and he is going in.

so they’re approaching- scully and mulder in the field, the deputy out in front. scully is peeking through binoculars but she doesn’t see anyone inside!!! it has to be a trap!!!!

OH MY GOSH!!! just as scully tells the deputy to not go in, he opens the door and an AXE SWINGS DOWN AND CHOPS HIS HEAD OFF!!!!!

i am sorry for being suspicious of you, deputy. may you rest in peace.

mulder’s reciting his facts from the hyena documentary. they are witnessing something akin to prehistoric humanity. but he has an idea: divert them out of the house, so they don't have to deal with their traps. it is a good idea.

so they are sneaking into the pig pen, which had to be a pain to shoot. “scully, would you think less of me as a man if i told you i was kind of excited right now?” he asks as they try to get the pigs in a line to topple like dominoes or something???

��is there some secret farmer trick to getting these things moving?” “i don’t know!” lmaooo these city slickers...

they’re shoving pigs straight out the gate, and she’s trying to say some magic pig words from babe, which her nephew apparently watches all day. you know what that means...

! SCULLY LORE REVEAL ! she has a nephew!

but there are more pressing matters at hand than a lore reveal as one of the brothers emerges, falling for their piggy trap. we see them in daylight now, and it is an unsettling sight. 

as the brothers try to herd the pigs back in, the agents sneak in, with mulder picking up a giant log to poke open the door. and it is a good thing he did that, because a trap descends right on the log that surely would have beheaded him as it did the deputy if not for the log taking the axe/weapon thingy for him. thank you for your service, giant log.

they sneak in beneath the log and close the door as if nothing went down. scully is yelling to see if anyone is in the house. they’re doing a sweep in excellent coordination. mulder mumbles “oh no” and i’m scared but he just picks up a newspaper that says elvis is dead and frowns 😭 his ass cannot be serious for more than five minutes 

but something approaches!!!! they enter the bedroom and see photos of generations and generations of this family, with varying conditions. and at this moment mulder notices that someone is under the bed!!

he’s trying to say that they’re here to help, but whoever is down there is screaming, screaming at them to go away. so scully tries to move the bed, but she’s strapped to a board underneath the bed, and they pull her out and…. oh my gosh, she has no limbs, i think? it’s dark and hard to tell. they keep her under the bed..........

mulder says they’re going to get her home, but after a glance at the pictures on the wall, scully says that she already IS home. it’s mrs. peacock. the mother of the family that they thought died in the car accident!!!!!!

she is sobbing and they roll her back under the bed, with mulder having a horrific look on his face, unable to process what he just saw. 

mulder is back on the prowl to find the other brothers. and he tasks scully with trying to convince mrs. peacock that she is the only one who can get “her boys” out of here without them being hurt. a mighty task, indeed.

she walks away, and he says “scully, w-watch your step” and he’s worried about her and i want to cry. oh!! we see a trip wire……….

so scully goes back to mrs. peacock, explaining that she needs medical attention, and the agents are here to help. she says that this is their home- why leave it? she has to see if the boys are okay. 

and she lost her limbs in the accident that killed her husband. “sewed me up just like the family learned in the war of northern aggression” OH! so that is an WILD thing to say in pennsylvania. but it was at this point i thought i was putting the pieces together for an extended metaphor...

but she insists she felt no pain, and that no one in the family does. and they’re such good boys. scully points out they murdered three people, and mrs. peacock says she can tell scully has no children, but maybe someday she’ll learn the pride and the love “when you know your boy will do anything for his mother”

well i think you probably just made her swear that off forever!!! so!!!!!

the brothers see mulder in the window, and they start to run in. and as he holds one at gun point, another tries to bash in his head, so scully shoots him. but this isn’t enough to take him down! and the other one joins in on their attack, so it’s two against one tag teaming mulder!!! oh my gosh scully can you use your perfect aim???

yes, she can, but despite emptying the whole clip, they aren’t hurt!!! 

they’re running and running and dodging a whole lot of terrible blows, and scully yells out that she has the mother! she trips over the wire and one of the traps falls RIGHT into one of the brothers, seemingly finally taking him out.

she notices marks on the floor, and when they go back for mrs. peacock, they can’t find the other brother or the mother.

so they put out an APB for them, saying that in time, they’ll catch them. but he counters with “i think time already caught them, scully”

cutscene to the cadillac- where mrs. peacock says that “sherman and george were good boys”- SHERMAN? a union name? edmund, sherman, and george… 

it ends with mrs. peacock saying that there will be more peacocks, and they have to find a new home, make a new family to be proud of. she is in the trunk of the car while she says this.

okay so first thoughts: WHAT THE FUCK.

this episode definitely lived up to its horrific reputation. but i can’t figure out exactly what it is it MEANS!

beyond exploring the horrific topics of generational abuse, i feel that there is something a bit deeper going on here. i actually felt so compelled to see if i was imagining things that i went on the wikipedia page for the episode, which spoke of its themes on the american dream and the nuclear family. those themes i see for sure- how mulder was talking about settling down in a place like this, so quaint and quiet, how they started discussing their own desire for a family, and how every idyllic thought about what a family could be was upended on its head with the peacocks. that made sense to me. but...

that line- “the war of northern aggression”- was what the confederates called the american civil war to justify their rebellion. this is notable for the fact that this whole episode took place in pennsylvania, which was a union state- but somehow, they got so twisted up in their own hatred that they’re parroting the lost cause ideology over a century after the war.

the repeated motifs of “things being the way they are in a small town, in our town, in our home”- is that a symbol for the festering of post-civil war wounds? the inability for the war to make meaningful change when it came to the attitudes of the people on the losing side, who continue- even to this day- to spew their hateful ideology? the inbreeding metaphor- is that a representation of how hate begets hate begets hate, generation after generation, compounding and corrupting by the lack of intervention from outsiders who are too afraid to change “the way things are” and call out harmful behavior? and the newspaper from elvis’s death… is that another allusion to the family (or perhaps certain parts of the country) living entirely in the past, in addition to their lack of electricity and water, just stewing in their own hatred? even the name- home- reminds me of the “house divided cannot stand” rhetoric. is this talking about the rot of "back in the good ol' days" thinking?

or if not a metaphor for the country, and instead just the horror of abuse? of how people can feel that things are the way that they are, and so that makes it correct, no matter what the cost? about how warped perceptions of family can be made and shaped? and the fact that mrs. peacock went along with all of this, despite being the biggest victim of the family... is that to speak on the twisted nature of gender roles and how they are weaponized in familial abuse?

i have to clarify that i am not an expert on abuse in the slightest; i am just trying to work through the themes of what i just saw. you know how it is on this blog; i do my best to interpret the big issues, but also recognize that i can only see and comment upon so much.

i'm really, really curious to hear how you interpreted the episode, though. or how audiences have understood it in the past, or if it has ever been re-evaluated. what did the cast and crew have to say on it? i want to know.

man. this is gonna really make me ponder. i want to know. it was too purposeful to just be a “wouldn’t it be fucked up if…” sort of situation.

regardless of the terror, i actually thought this episode was pretty good. it felt cohesive, not just a sideshow of horrible things to make you feel shocked. and we learned more about our characters- their ambitions in life, the possibility of a family someday dangling over their heads, and the terror associated with everything that could go wrong. i think there is always some fear about starting a family (i wouldn't know, but i do read books and stuff), and for scully to just now vocalize her thoughts on the subject and to immediately see this case- i can only imagine what it did to her thought process.

i thought the more light-hearted elements were working at the beginning- mulder's TV dance, baseball time, the merits of their genetics, family talk- worked well at first. but by the end it was just... damn. that was a lot. maybe that is the indication of a successful episode, that it can take you along heavy subject matter with a sense of character analysis and horror, but end with just terror.

i'm not a horror fan outside of this show, so the balancing of the heavy and the humor always baffles me a little bit. i don't know how other materials do it, so i can't really say if it could have been done better or worse. i think the important part though is that they don't turn the tragedy itself into the joke. it wasn't giving "point and laugh at the horrible peacock family!" it was finding humor in other situations, that ultimately still surrendered to the sober feeling of what humanity can do.

whew. this one is definitely gonna stick with me for a while, and i’ll need like 12 hours to formulate my thoughts into something comprehensible. but, you ask, did you like the episode?

yes! while i'm not sure i'd watch it again for funsies, i thought our agents had to confront some inner demons while also learning a lot about them together and individually, which is exactly the thing i want in an episode. i think it brought them closer and they understand each other better, and i think we're getting into some real juicy parts of their relationship. i can't stop thinking about him rubbing her back- how terribly devoted they are to each other, regardless of if either of them can put that into words. those dynamics of devotion that go beyond words- it's so special to me.

and sure, i'll take the bait, and daydream about them living together... i am not above fan service in the slightest. it is me, the fan, who loves to be serviced.

but again. i'm spooked.

[phone-spirit]

haven't seen really anyone talking ab how cool vash's prostetic is in stampede like look at it !?!?

like not only does he gave fully ball jointed fingers, but his forearm mimics the bone structure of actual arms, and even fucking moves im the same way.

like i can't be the only one who finds this design so fucking cool and thoughtful !!

ALSO i like to believe he has feeling in it. because otherwise why would it be so directly attached to his arm??

like??? because it's directly attached the the muscle with like little electrodes which arguably could be just for movement but it really makes me think it has feeling. like why would Brad not put that in.

[blueberry-sleight]

I have a bunch of community nbc plot bunnies but I need you guys to actually respond to this post. please. which Annie centric story should i pursue or you just want to hear more about

Annie is a character witness for a socialite who bullied her severely as a pre-teen who is now accused of a violent crime. Jeff goes with Annie to support her when she testifies, and he learns about his (psuedo) little sister's trauma

kinda less-sexual omega verse au where it's not unheard of for people to be on blockers constantly, so some people don't know their classification. Annie is one of these people, Troy is an omega who at first pretends he's a alpha, Abed is a mostly content beta who misses out on even more social cues bc of beta low-smelling power, Jeff is a beta who feels like has to prove himself, Britta is an omega who's doesn't understand that she doesn't need to give up her strength to be omega-ish, Shirley is an Alpha who thinks she needs to play herself down to be with Andre

Om gosh sly work on one of your wips

a. Abed is brad but only at work, and engaged to Annie, but Brad is sort of taking over his life link

b. post-world-tour trobedison but Troy is the one who is getting them together link

c. annie comes back from being kidnapped bc shes an FBI agent and Troy and Abed are there for her, trobedison ensues (not published)

4. trobedison soulmate AU except Troy and Abed realize their soulmates before Annie comes into the picture and she hides it from them. ... Until they find out dun dun DUN

5. most of the Study group polycule moves into big house/apartment together and I take prompts/tumblr asks for what happens every chapter

also like you guys could just send me questions about our purple neurotic blorbo. i'd love that

[draculovemp3]

Dr Franklin Nathaniel Further PsyD for the ask meme

LMFAO not the government name😭

Sexuality HC: all of the imagined above. Everything. Nothing. Whatever gets him laid or helps his experiments work.

Gender HC: exactly the same^. being a Sweet Transvestite is a #lifestyle…. ❤️

A ship I have with said character: well I’ve never actually Thought ab ships when it comes to rocky horror 😭but uhhh Brad sure seemed real randy w him huh… 👀and there’s obv Frank&Rocky. I think him and Eddie can be Uberbrief but super hateful exes too. As a treat

A BROTP I have with said character: rocky horror 100k slowburn fixit Janet becomes Frank’s hag <33

A NOTP I have with said character: idfk uhhh. Simultaneously eddie/Frank ok. My mind has multitudes😌

A random headcanon: his skincare + haircare routine is 100 steps on a lazy day and uses chemicals still unknown to the FDA 💅

General opinion: THEEE character ever they just don’t do awful evil diva bitches like Frank anymore….. soso formative to me and I will get as many ppl to see rhps as I can forever

SEND ME A CHARACTER AND I’LL DO THE FOLLOWING^

[sunflowersteves]

ok so let me get this straight… sunshine literally almost dies, gets stabbed and is helped by brad. joel is jealous???? of brad preventing her from bleeding out??? and then she gets into a coma for 6 weeks, she wakes up, gets mad at joel. he gets mad at her too?? and is jealous for some reason?? and literally right after she wakes up after 6 weeks of comatose they FUCK???? he finger bangs her 6 week old vagina with no hesitation but like in a mean way?? for being jealous despite her literallt just getting STABBED and brad helping. ellie is also probably 2 doors down confused too. and then he just leaves after. he’s lucky she didn’t go into another coma. bro i’m so fucking confused my emotions are all over the place

omg. hi love!! so, He uses jealousy as an excuse to push his emotions away. He isn’t actually jealous, per se, he just didn’t want to tell sunshine how he was feeling like he failed her & ellie for the second time (aka the first being Joel’s talk with Tommy in episode 6 which we all know he isn’t a failure) he’s just deeply insecure.

sunshine knows this fear and realizes after her talk with Maria/her talk with him. Joel is just hella fuckin insecure ab himself but he didn’t actually care about Brad at all—just projecting it onto that (hence their conversation). He, again, uses that projection for sex and let’s not forget that sunshine also purposely pushed his buttons to also have sex. They were both going through traumatic experiences and used each other for that.

ALSO OK I MEANT TO WRITE THIS IN THERE BUT FORGOT THAT MARIA BATHES HER. Like no one is just gonna let her sit there and rot for six weeks 💀💀 and regarding the wound n the coma, I did put a warning for unrealistic recovery time because I just didn’t think it would make any sense for a time skip.

maybe I also should’ve made it more clear, but it was broad daylight and Ellie was def not in the house at the time. Like she LEFT yk. I don’t think Ellie would want to stay in a house where her parental figures are definitely gonna fight.

I hope i cleared some things up! I can try to go in and fix some of the things like bathing n such but tbh, I’m traveling tomorrow so it probably won’t be for awhile.

[ciderjacks]

Idea I'm probably going to incorporate in my abed-is-brad fic: I think it'd be really funny if annie does things that are (sexy) trope-y on purpose to mess with abed. And he has no idea whether his mind is in the gutter or if she's making hints. Why did she buy a trenchcoat in winter? Is she bending at the knees less than usual? Is she actually forgetting to take a towel with her when she showers? So he's kicking himself over being sexist and constantly sexualizing his girlfriend when her only goal was to make him blush more (also bc is hands are so expressive maybe he hides them behind his back when he's embarrassed or being shy).

he starts panicking and internationally being really like. formal. (Averting his eyes, giving her handshakes, calling her by her full legal name, etc) Whenever she tries to be sexy. Bc he’s worried he’s taking things wrong and being a creep, and she eventually has to just say out loud like “ABED IVE BEEN WATCHING SO MANY ROMCOMS FOR YOU JUST TO MEMORIZE THE TROPES WHY ARE YOU IGNORIJG ME EVERYTIME I TRY???” And he’s like ohhhhh. Oops. so I did interpret that correctly.

[regular-theodore]

i just found your brad is actually abed fic and i just wanna say thank you for feeding us because i NEED that brad-abed/troy content

and im like already obsessed with your writing and your fic and i love it so much you don't understand

and like i got to the notes on your fic and i was like "wait a second i follow them on tumblr!!" so idk i just wanted to show my appreciation and all that bcs you're genuinely so cool

omg this makes me so happy!! I'm so so glad you like it that is so cool. I will be adding the third chapter tomorrow or the day after? it gets a lil angsty hehe.

here is a link to the fic so far if anyone else wants to check it out :)

thank you so much for the ask, this genuinely made my day <33

[destinyc1020]

To be fair what the last anon said isn’t even a diss but a fair assessment and it’s actually true. Regular folks are not running to the theatre to see him specifically. He ain’t Tom Cruise level yet no matter what they try to make him be. He is simply not there yet. Outside of twitter fandoms and teenage girls, people don’t know like that.

I get it Anon.... And that might be a fair assessment? I've always felt that Timmy is more so an indie actor anyway, and not necessarily a "mainstream" film actor. So I've never really cared about his box office potential so-to-speak. But maybe that's just me? 🤷🏾‍♀️

But Idk why ppl keep comparing these actors in their 20s to Tom Cruise in his 60s rofl 🤣

In all fairness, even Tom Cruise didn't have the career he has now until his early 30s..... Tom, Brad, all of them weren't at the pinnacle of their careers in their 20s. Like, let's get real lol 😆

Leo might be an exception, but that's literally due to the HUGE massive success of "Titanic". So yea, Leo was early 20s I think when he did Titanic and got HUGE. That's not typical though.

I honestly think that Timmy (and others) still have time in their careers. This is what ppl mean by "they have time". Most ppl know that a lot of these actors don't really "season up" until their 30s abs 40s anyway. So fans who want their faves to already be winning Oscars or being huge box office draws at the tender ages of their 20s need to just CHILL.

Fans need to realize that they are witnessing the BIRTH of megastars who will be even bigger in 10, 20 years time (if they play their cards right).

They don't need to be a huge massive box office draw right now imo. 🤷🏾‍♀️ All they need to do is to keep making GREAT movies imo.

There are many GREAT actors who by themselves might not be "box office draws", but ppl like them and watch what they're in because they like their acting, and they like the filming projects they are in.

[roman-roy-apologist]

6 and 10

6. ok this is really choosing violence but tomgreg shippers… (also grimpop but that’s a whole different thing)

10. hmmm i’ve never said anything before and idek if it counts as fanon but the brad is actually abed thing bothers me so much idk why i just see them as so different and i hate how many brad is abed fics there are

[you-me-we-04]

Hi, so I posted a little bit ago about writing Brad but he actually Abed and as of today I’ve finished and posted it! So check it out if you want plus it was really fun for me to write:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43252960

Have a nice day and enjoy!

[umjamlam]

since i cant shut up, here's some of my headcanons for my blorbos. also songs that remind me of them :3

community

abed: bisexual, he/they, dating troy. uses his lava lamp as a visual stim. owns so many tangles and picks each one depending on mood and vibes, likes to pick out a matching tangle for the movie they're watching. maybe might have a service kink 🧍

troy: gay, he/him, dating abed. has a kangaroo plushie named kickpuncher which he sleeps with every night. cries at the end of tangled because its just such a happy ending. used to play drums when he was younger.

annie: lesbian, she/her, dating claire. loves knitting and uses it as a way to relax, she gives away her finished products to the study group. also taught troy and abed to knit. her favorite animal is giant isopods.

britta: bisexual, she/they/he, dating frankie. has a small knitting group with annie, troy and abed where they get together and just knit while listening to music or watching some light hearted romcom. plays the bass in an all female punk band.

jeff: bisexual, he/him, dating craig. takes craig to ballroom dancing classes every other week and they always dress up so they're the fanciest bitches there. didn't realise he was in love with craig until season 6 (oblivious little guy). has bad days where he can barely get out of bed, before he and craig got together abed was usually the one to help him on those days.

craig: queer, any pronouns, dating jeff. worships the ground jeff walks on but is also there for him on his bad days.

frankie: queer, transfem, she/they, dating britta. they have 2 cats together. LOVES making lists and also excel sheets. makes lists of everything ranging from to-do lists to every single book she has ever read to all the lists she has ever written [she's just like me frfr]. usually reads at least 1 entire book every week, on top of the fact that they keep greendale alive. has all her books neatly organised in her bookshelf and finds it endearing whenever britta sneaks one of their own books in there. wanted to be an author when they grew up but preferred writing about mundane things instead of action and adventure so she realised they would never really be able to be one, still writes in her free time though.

ian duncan: bisexual, he/him, dating/hate-fucking/in love with chang. [thats all i got for him rn, he just like me tho]

mythic quest

brad: gay, he/him, dating and/or has a crush on david ♡ [i have so many hcs about brad but they're all so negative im so sorry but he's my broken little blorbo ok]. he owns a little huey plushie that he has on his nightstand so he doesn't need to sleep alone. pulls his hair when stressed or anxious. plays the sims and always try to manipulate the other sims to betray their loved ones. thinks david is cute when trying to be tough (wolf).

david: bisexual, he/they, dating and/or has a crush on brad. also has a huey plushie because it reminds them of brad, he might maybe be cuddling it in his sleep. gets really bad insomnia when stressed. plays the guitar and has tried on more than one occasion to serenade brad. has a tiktok where he does trends and they get a lot of views so they think they're popular but actually everyone's laughing at him :( (brad thinks the vids are cute though, but he'll never admit it)

poppy: aroace, she/they. autistic and has code (and video games) as her special interest. ice cream sandwiches are their safe food. came to america just to take ian's class.

[fictionkinfessions]

In response to this: https://at.tumblr.com/fictionkinfessions/dear-readers-of-fictionkinfessions-good/aoh59i90k7l1

It depends on the shift I'm in, but when I'm in an Abed Nadir kinshift, I really like wearing T-shirts and hoodies or flannel long-sleeves, sometimes skinny jeans or leggings, etc. And it makes me feel happy when I'm in that shift because I'm dressing as myself, but it's inconspicuous (wow, I think I actually spelled that correctly!!) so I don't have to deal with questions from people if I'm in a socially drained state.

I also like making myself special drink and drinking orange soda!! And I managed to get some buttered noodles from the Main Dining Hall one day (they rarely ever have buttered noodles there, and it makes me so sad. :( ), and I also like eating Lucky Charms. :3 And watching edits of Community, occasionally a full episode if I can make myself sit down and focus on it instead of getting distracted mid-episode, and also watching The Breakfast Club (again on days where I can actually make myself focus lol). But doing those things makes me really happy. :3

This turned out a lot longer than I thought it would, I was gonna talk a bit about stuff I do when I'm in a Brad Bakshi kinshift, but uhh, I might do it in a separate ask later or something, this is getting waaaayyy too long.

- Abed Nadir (Community

'