#Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz

[chaoticstateofaffairs]

My husband has the hots for this character: Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz.

[writebethany]

When Hank finds himself in Cuba, he can't really be surprised. It's Boris after all. What does surprise him is the fact that Dr. Marisa Casseras is perhaps the most beautiful woman he's ever seen and that before he's even opened his mouth for more than a sentence, she hates him. Trying to care for and protect Boris keeps bringing them into conflict, but Hank finds himself encouraging the spark of ire between them, seeking her out when he doesn't much need to and starting new arguments. He doesn't know why and he really doesn't know why Boris seems pleased by all this. He'll just have to figure that out later, after he's saved Boris's life.

[championmuffin]

HELLO I’M BACK AND I’VE BROUGHT FINALE PAIN WITH ME

@jadziana @borisofroyalpains-blog @onenewphoenix

[onenewphoenix]

Wishing the Shadow Pond Family a happy September!

@jadziana, @redlibrary, @borisofroyalpains​, @royalpainsandsuch, @royalpainscentral, @royal-pains-love-blog, @giosteele, @championmuffin, @maria-marz, @renuka13, @frostiron81, @spooookyboo​, and other devotees and friends of our favourite couple Horis, the Royals Pains universe, and the beautiful estate/world of Shadow Pond.

It is a challenge for me to believe that it is nearly Autumn once more - you too?  I have enjoyed a marvelous Summer, and I sincerely hope that all of you were fortunate in that way as well.

I sit here today whilst Hurricane Dorian rages over my adopted state of North Carolina, USA.  So far, the power has stayed on; huzzah for me!  As I look out my windows and see the 20 to 30 mph wind gusts and heavy rain whipping around (and thinking that tree branches should most likely not be bending in that wild fashion), I foster a grateful attitude that I am warm and dry and safe - at least for the moment.  Reaching out to all of you, my Shadow Pond Family, is also a great comfort.

Believe it or not, I have just posted Chapter 38 of Music in the Air on AO3.  It is called:  Restoration.  I hope you find it enjoyable.  I took a bit of a hiatus from writing this Summer and am now going through, and picking up, where I left off with my story of Boris and Hank.  I have many chapters poised and almost polished to share with you...  I also owe a few of you some return comments - I have not forgotten you!  Thank you for your patience.

Some excerpts from this new chapter:

---“Thank you, Tree, I really needed this,” Hank said quietly.   “I needed to see you clad only in your briefs,” Boris teased with a sly grin.

---Boris watched the two brothers in this mild battle of wills as they stared at each other for a moment.

---“Then WHY do they fill his time with so much work?!  He can never say no to helping others...one of his more endearing traits, however, he has no time for himself...” Boris paused for a moment and then said, “...or me now.”    “This is true, Master,” Udo said in a neutral voice and knew this was serious because of the topic, and because of the day that it was, and the fact that his Master wasn’t speaking in his usual royal terminology by using the word ‘we’ when he only meant himself.  Boris was using the words, ‘I’, and, ‘me’; and because they were speaking Russian, the more forceful sentences seemed to sound a great deal angrier.

---Boris blinked slowly and tilted his head with tight lips and very grey ‘laser-beam’ eyes; and he appeared to be ready to wait in the doorway of the Guest House until the end of time for the answer he wanted from Evan.

---“Crap,” Hank said.   Boris nodded.   “It was yesterday…wasn’t it?” Hank asked hesitantly as if he was afraid to learn the answer.   Boris nodded again.

Mr. Scott, thank you for being sooo unfairly gorgeous. (tremendous sigh)

[championmuffin]

Everyone seemed to have some stunning misconception about him, Boris thought to himself one morning. Everyone assumed he simply must be a morning person simply because he awoke early to attend to his various businesses.

That could not be was less the case.

Boris hated every moment of every morning. He despised how the too-bright sun dared to light up his room at an ungodly hour, detested getting out of his bed when the floor was always frigid no matter what he spent on geothermal heating, loathed every moment of the long hours curséd with birds that mocked him with their cheerfulness scant moments past dawn.

For the protection of his staff-- and indeed, his own reputation-- Boris kept a small coffee service in his room. It allowed him to awake, clear his head, and dress without doing something that might compromise the sterling reputation he claimed not to care about. He truly did not want to care about such a thing; but what people thought of him affected his business and so it had become an unfortunate if unavoidable part of his existence.

Boris lifted his favored mug-- an oversized royal blue one he had dropped several times in his early morning exhaustion yet somehow remained no worse for wear, which certainly merited recognition and favor, Boris felt-- and peered inside before filling it with the blessed coffee that would hopefully help him function for the earliest part of the day.

Inside he saw something: a small, scaled creature certainly no larger than a sizable plum. It was sleeping soundly, breath puffing in and out in even intervals.

"Another one?" Boris grumbled dourly. "Where are you all coming from? What am I to do with you?"

He placed the cup on the coffee warming plate and went to dress for the day. If he had to stop by the aviary he didn't have time for coffee and if he didn't have time for coffee?

God bless whoever walked in his path next.

Early one morning, you pull down your favourite cup, only to find a small dragon, curled up and sleeping contentedly inside. 

[borisofroyalpains-blog]

Merry Christmas!

Or happy winter holiday of your choice or happy New Year, as you prefer!  : ) 

No new screenshots or quotes yet, I’m afraid - I’m stockpiling them so that if work gets really busy as it did this fall, I won’t just disappear off the face of the internet again.  Ideally I plan to start posting regularly again in the new year. 

In the meantime, I do have a little present for my Shadow Pond family and any other Royal Pains / Boris fans out there.  

I have a few ideas that have been floating around in my head for months.  I’ve written bits down here and there, but none of them are anything close to complete.  So, for this holiday season, I’m going to lay out a brief summary and short snippet from five of these fic ideas and you wonderful people can tell me which one I should actually get down to writing. 

Everyone - and by “everyone” I mean “anyone who reads this post” - gets two votes, and the fic with the most votes by January 8th is the one I’ll start really working on.  Hopefully I’ll be able to start posting in February or March - we’ll see!  (The other ideas will probably be written eventually, but I’ll give priority to the one people like best and work to get it finished.) 

So let me know what sounds good to you and have a very merry Christmas / happy holiday / fun New Year’s!!  Fic samples under the cut!  ^_~ 

*Note: These are all Boris/Hank fics because that’s how I roll.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

1) The Shapeshifter AU 

Wherein Boris is a shapeshifter and Shadow Pond serves as a safe haven for other shifters.  When Hank crashes a party and saves the life of a guest, Boris decides he is the ideal candidate - not only to become Boris’s personal doctor, but also to help with a plan of even greater importance.  Hank, meanwhile, knows that his new boss is a very private, even secretive man…but he has no idea just how much Boris is hiding.  [This one has the potential to get super long, just to warn you.  It mmight take longer to see any of it.] 

—

“So what was the big hurry?” Evan asked as soon as Hank came onto the patio.  “Everything okay?” 

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Hank said as he passed him.  “Just a bite.” 

“A – a bite?” Evan repeated. “Like a wo– uh, a dog bite, or uh…something else?” 

Hank turned slowly. Evan only got that high-pitched and agitated when he’d done something that he knew Hank wouldn’t like.  “What do you mean, something else?”  If this was leading up to some wild theory that Boris was a vampire… 

“I, uh, nothing?  I didn’t mean anything!  I was just – I’m not supposed to know, I’m not supposed to say anything –” 

“You tell me right now,” Hank interrupted, cutting through the babble, “or –” 

“The attack wolves are really wolves!” Evan blurted.  “And there are tons of other animals up there, like foxes and bobcats and probably lions and tigers and bears for all I know –” 

“Oh, sure.”  Hank relaxed.  “Boris just has a private menagerie that roams the property and bites unsuspecting –” 

“Henry, I saw them,” Evan insisted, and he looked so completely serious that Hank couldn’t help but believe him. 

A few more pointed questions and the whole story came spilling out.  By the end of it, Hank was simmering with righteous indignation.  It didn’t matter if the housekeeper had really been bitten by a “dog” or not – Boris had obviously coached her on what to say, lied repeatedly to Hank and Evan, and then threatened Evan into lying for him! 

“I’ll be back soon,” he said grimly, and started back out toward the main house. 

“Henry!”  Evan caught at his arm.  “Look, maybe we should just let it go.  What if he feeds you to his pit of alligators or something?” 

“No, Ev, I’m not gonna let this go.  I won’t work for someone I can’t trust.” 

This time, Evan let him go with a wordless noise of frustration.  Hank was well on his way when he heard Evan yell, “If you’re not back by dinner, I’m calling animal control!” 

2) The Season 8 Fix-It Fic 

Wherein Hank doesn’t run off to find Jill, Boris doesn’t abandon Shadow Pond, and the two of them go on a vacation together instead.   [Could go shorter or longer, but I’d say at least 5-10 chapters.] 

—

Hank arrived to find Boris already seated, as per usual, with a newspaper. 

“Hank.” 

“Hey, Boris.”  Hank sat with a quiet sigh.  Then he straightened in his seat as Udo put a drink in front of him, knowing immediately that something was up. 

That was a bottle of beer – and not just any beer, but Hank’s favorite, the one that Boris couldn’t see without getting a look of mild disdain. 

Hank looked from the beer to Boris, who was wearing his blandest expression.  Hank considered his options for a moment, then picked up the bottle and took a sip. 

“Okay.  What’s the occasion?” 

Boris looked pleased. “I have a proposal for you, Hank.” 

Hank grinned in spite of himself.  “Yeah, I figured as much.  What kind of international intrigue is it this time?” 

“Nothing so exciting,” said Boris.  He paused a moment, smoothing a hand across the linen tablecloth.  “I would like to offer you a vacation, anywhere you like, as long as you like.  No hidden agenda.  Just some time away to think about what changes you want.” 

3) The Deal with a Devil AU 

Crossover with the short film Love, Lots of It (starring Campbell Scott).  I wrote a prompt post for this idea a while back and started writing it myself.  Whoops. ^_^;;  [Not sure how long this would be? Honestly this is the one that needs the most planning still.] 

— 

There had been a story on campus, that’s what Rob had been talking about.  It always made the rounds before major exams, this story about a man (or a demon or the devil, depending on who was telling it) who would grant the requests of the desperate.  For a price, of course.  Hank had always thought of it as just a running joke on campus, but there had been students who insisted it was true.  None of them had ever seen the man in person – it was always “this girl who was here five years ago” or “my friend’s older brother’s lab partner” – but they were convinced nonetheless. 

“This is stupid,” Hank said aloud.  His voice sounded dull and flat in the oppressive silence of his apartment. 

You’d do anything, huh?  Really anything? 

He stared blankly at the TV screen, not really seeing the silent, moving figures.  He could just – go for a drive.  Just get out of the apartment and away from the stacks of bills for a little while.  He could just drive up that road, kind of a nod to one of the quirks of his alma mater. And if he brought a box, just in case… No one would ever have to know. 

4) Hank gets kidnapped; Boris is Not Pleased

When Hank substituted his blood for Boris’s in Hong Kong, neither of them thought that Guy’s mysterious employers would target Hank himself.  Unfortunately, they were wrong. [Again, could go shorter or longer.  Sort of hurt/comfort, I guess, but very short on the hurt - nothing really awful is going to happen to Hank.]

I don’t have a good intro clip for this one, so have a longer summary: Hank receives an offer - a whole lot of money in exchange for just a little information about his employer.  Bound by doctor-patient confidentiality and his own loyalty, Hank of course refuses.  Alas, he’s dealing with people who won’t take no for an answer and is subsequently kidnapped.  While Hank tries to stall for time and avoid giving his captors any useful information, Boris sets a search for him in motion and tries not to completely lose it.  And of course, when eventually Hank’s location is discovered, Boris insists on handling the situation personally.

And here are the lines that kicked off this idea for me: Hank called him a word that he’d once heard Dmitry call Boris when Dmitry was particularly irate.  Someone backhanded him viciously, and Hank decided to take that as a compliment on his pronunciation. 

5) Hank has a secret admirer 

Mysterious gifts start appearing outside the guesthouse for Hank.  Who could this secret admirer possibly be??  [Short and very sweet.  Like that’s the entire plot, Hank getting very thoughtful presents.  And maybe falling in love.  With Boris.  In case you couldn’t tell.] 

—

Hank was hardly an artist, but the portrait didn’t look like professional work to his untrained eye. But the level of detail, the warm, happy expression on portrait-Hank’s face…  It felt so personal, so – Hank struggled for words – reverential, almost, that his breath caught in his chest. 

“Well that’s creepy.” 

Evan’s voice came out of nowhere, and Hank twitched in surprise.  “Hey, that’s my face you’re talking about!” he said defensively. 

“You’re right, that’s part of the problem,” Evan said, nodding, “but I was more thinking about the fact that you clearly have some kind of stalker.” 

Hank laughed.  “Ev, don’t be ridiculous.” 

“I’m serious, Henry!” He pointed at the drawing.  “Look at that – someone has been staring longingly at your face from the shadows and probably going through our trash.  It’s creepy!” 

Hank tilted the portrait toward his chest, feeling oddly protective of it.  “You’re blowing this way out of proportion - nobody is going through our trash!  I think you’re just jealous.” 

“Jealous?  Why would I – What –”  Evan sputtered. 

“Goodbye, Evan,” Hank said, making a quick exit and taking the latest gift with him.

Soooo those are the main fic ideas I have kicking around in my head right now.  Tell me which two you’re most interested in reading and hopefully I’ll start posting the most popular choice in a few months.  Happy holidays!

[qwanderer]

tbh one of my very favorite things about the show Royal Pains is that the name Divya Katdare is treated as perfectly normal and straightforward to spell and pronounce and the name everyone always has trouble with is the quintessentially European name Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz

[championmuffin]

"I just don't get it, Henry." Evan intoned. "I get your type is smart, cool, and in great shape but... Boris? He's terrifying, bro. Terrifying."

Hank rolled his eyes as he flipped the burgers on the grill behind the guesthouse. "You're being dramatic again."

"He threatened me with a shark. A shark!"

"And I will not condone that behavior." He placated. "Has he done it since?"

"Has he threatened me with a shark subsequent times?" Evan nearly sputtered. "Are you serious?"

"Well? Has he?"

"You are not making the point you think you are here, Henry. If you have to ask that question, I'm right. He's terrifying."

Hank sighed, then turned so he was facing the nobleman sitting at their table inside. His table? Whatever.

"Hey, Boris!" He called out with a beaming smile.

The man looked up with that curious little head tilt Hank found absolutely adorable. He once saw a picture of Boris doing it as a child--All huge blue eyes and wild sandy blonde hair and gawky limbs. He'd never understood how anyone could find the nobleman scary. He was always either alluringly intense or charming and sweet.

Their eyes met and Boris broke into the kind of grin that made his heart beat a little faster. Ich liebe dich, he mouthed silently. I love you, too, the man mouthed back with that soft, sweet gaze that always make Hank feel like the only person alive.

Evan took a sip of his beer. "I know you're all mushy about that, but if anything that makes me more scared of him. Think about it: if he would threaten me with a shark over his privacy, imagine what he would do for you?"

Person A being told by Person C that Person B looks perpetually scary/grumpy. To prove a point, Person A gets B’s attention across the room and flashes the goofiest smile. Person B struggles to hold back their beaming grin in response, much to C’s shock.

[sapphireglyphs]

started Royal Pains. stay tuned for thoughts on that...

[writebethany]

Boris was used to travel, he neither liked nor hated it, it was something that he had to do, and so it just was. However, having to travel to solve the problem of an ego run rampant within his own organization has him on edge. When that particular ego threatens his family, even reason and assurances that he will tear apart her life brick by brick aren't enough to settle him completely. Thankfully, Hank is with him on his trip and knows just what might calm him down.

[championmuffin]

Reading a book today and found this quote with some VERY big Boris energy

[championmuffin]

Cough cough ROYAL PAINS Cough cough BORIS Cough cough SHARK INJECTIONS cough cough CUBAN CLINICAL TRIAL cough cough POISONED BY SWIMMING POOL cough cough

You’re the cute doctor and I’m the chaotic patient that keeps ending up in the hospital AU

-(anonymous)

[hedge-bones]

You know what I’ve never understood? If Boris loves his privacy so much (and we know he does, he never stops saying it), why in God’s name did he throw the party in the first episode? The one Evan lied his ass off to get into and got Hank the guest house and everything else? I mean, he terrorized Evan for doing the exact same thing later. In eight seasons, he’s never done anything like it, unless we count the fake dementia in Monte Carlo.

Why did he let countless rowdy, drunken Hamptonites run rampant over Shadow Pond? Did they every explain that?

[onenewphoenix]

Wishing Mr. Campbell Scott, a very Happy Birthday today!

Hello to the Shadow Pond Family:  @jadziana, @redlibrary, @giosteele, @championmuffin, @borisofroyalpains, @royalpainsandsuch, @spooookyboo, @maria-marz, @renuka13, @royalpainscentral, @royal-pains-love-blog, @frostiron81, and all others in the Royal Pains/Horis esprit de corps!

I hope your summer is going well and that you are all healthy and happy.  :-)

( have been a bit out of touch of late; thank you for your patienc.  I shall be returning soon with more chapters in “Music in the Air“ story on AO3...there is more to come for our favourite couple!)

I could not let today go by without a heart-felt reminder/shout-out/expression that today is Mr. Scott’s birthday!  Our very best wishes to you, sir!  May it be a pleasant one for you.

Maximum suave, and unfairly gorgeous, sophistication:

And, maximum handsome, and unfairly gorgeous, scruffiness:

Perfection.  (...sighs with delight...those eyes!)

[borisofroyalpains-blog]

Royal Pains: S01, E01 “Pilot”

[championmuffin]

"Please just... give me some time to think about it." Hank asked almost desperately. "Don't disappear forever. Leave me some way to reach you."

There were so many things that earnest face made Boris want to do-- but he couldn't. He wanted to smooth those worried lines from his friend's brow. He wanted to take the doctor's hands and refuse to let go. He wanted to kiss the man and tell him to stop overthinking and join him.

But it was too late for that, now.

"You and I both know that wouldn't be safe for either of us or our families. I've given you time, more time then I ever should have. Things can't go on like this... I need an answer." Boris responded solemnly.

He had known since the very first time Hank couldn't commit to him in Manhattan that the man would never change. Hank was not built for commitment no matter how much the man wished it otherwise. Six years had passed somehow both slowly and quickly and now? He was leaving the next morning and he knew Hank would not be joining him, even if Hank hadn't accepted it yet. Even if he insisted he hadn't made up his mind.

No matter how much he wished for it, no matter how he ached for the man to stay with him-- Hank wouldn't. He knew.

"I don't know." The other half of his soul answered. Hank sounded like a wounded animal caught in a corner, not someone considering running away with their lover.

Boris took a step closer, wrapping his arms tightly around the slightly smaller man. He breathed in the smell of Hank's shampoo and tried to memorize exactly how the man felt in his embrace and tried to keep his breathing steady.

"If it's not a yes... It's a no." He murmured with all the kindness he could manage while his heart shattered into a million jagged shards.

Person A: “Please just…. give me some time to think about it.”

Person B: “I’ve given you time, more time than I ever should have. Things can’t go on like this…. I need an answer.”