#Bogoshipdayo

[feelingsobloom]

8 Letters

“If all it is is eight letters Why is it so hard to say? If all it is is eight letters Why am I in my own way? Why do I pull you close And then ask you for space If all it is is eight letters Why is it so hard to say?”

-8 Letters by Why Don’t We

-

The facts were undeniable. Kyuhyun was completely and totally in love with you.

He’d give everything for you. Career, friends, happiness. Just to see you happy, just to watch you smile.

Maybe that was why he had said no to you.

Your cheeks were rosy red, and your eyes couldn’t even hold his gaze as you shuffled your feet and stammered over your words. God, you had looked so cute standing there in front of him, shaking ever so slightly as you tried desperately to calm your raging nerves.

“I… I was wondering.”

Each word that left your mouth was so hesitant- but have no doubt Kyuhyun knew it was deliberate. He could just imagine how long you had spent in your room, rehearsing what you were going to say, building up the confidence to come up to him and tell him that you liked him and that you wanted to date him.

And Kyuhyun wanted nothing more than to say yes to you. All he wanted was to take your shaking hands in his and smile at you. Tell you that he would be honored to go out with you. Cause he would. He could imagine how much fun it would be to take you in his arms at that very moment- maybe even literally sweep you off of your feet.

Tell you just how much he loved and cared for you and wanted you to be right there next to him.

He could imagine maybe taking you by surprise and kissing you right there. He wondered how you would react to that. Would your cheeks feel warm against his? Would you try to break it to tell him he didn’t have to pretend to like you- only for him to interrupt you with another kiss and a: “I want nothing more than this.”? Or maybe, just maybe you two wouldn’t kiss then at all.

Would you kiss after your first date? Him walking you home, his jacket draped over your shoulders because of course it had been much too cold for you to be wearing just that dress that you had gotten into just for him. He would pull you close by the jacket, pressing his lips firmly against yours, and you would murmur about how you had a great time and-

“Kyuhyun? It’s burning.”

Kyuhyun looked down at the egg on the skillet in front of him, holding back the overwhelming urge to curse under his breath.

He was getting too distracted recently by you.

He smiled nervously, and picked up the pan, sliding the egg into the trash.

“Never hurts to just start over,” he assured light-heartedly. Beside him, Yongtae was giving him a skeptical look and he gave him a small shrug. “What?”

“You’re just… Scattered today, that’s all,” Yongtae replied with a shrug. He went back to mixing the pancake batter he was working on. Kyuhyun snorted.

“It’s five in the morning. Today just started,” he replied pointedly. Yongtae looked over at him, raising an eyebrow.

“I know. But it would’ve been rude to tell you that you’ve been scattered for the last month or more,” he stated plainly. Kyuhyun just stared at him, not really sure what to say. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t know why he had been quote on quote scattered.

His eyes trailed over to where you were seated, your legs crossed as you flipped through the pages of a book.

You weren’t just anyone in this company. You were one of the people that had helped make ENOi possible. You went from being just a desk worker to standing there at Kyuhyun’s side, bar graphs and power point in place explaining all the pros to dipping into the Idol business.

You had watched Kyuhyun standing in front of Kithewhale a determined look on his face and you had asked him what was on his mind. When he told you his plan, you had immediately been in. You had immediately trusted him.

He knew he was forever indebted to you for helping him make his last second dream come true.

Yongtae seemed to notice Kyuhyun’s eyes, and he sighed.

“I don’t understand you,” he mumbled. “If you like her just tell her. She’s been trying to get you to go out with her for how long?”

When Kyuhyun turned you down the first time he had assumed you would give up your pursuits of him but only a week later you were confessing again, and a few days after that you were asking him out again.

“I know you like me Kyuhyun,” you said with an odd sense of determination and confidence, your eyes gleaming with mischief. Kyuhyun remembered the way he had laughed off the accusation.

“Sure, I like you as a friend, but nothing else y/n, I swear.”

You just wouldn’t listen to him, no matter how much he assured you that he didn’t like you in that way.

Maybe he wasn’t as good of a liar as he thought he was.

“I can’t date her, I mean we are idols now,” he mumbled. Yongtae rolled his eyes.

“Right, cause idols don’t date,” he grumbled. Kyuhyun opened his mouth to say more but Yongtae interrupted him before he could manage it. “And of course, Rays are terribly possessive of us. They aren’t always telling us that they just want our happiness or anything of the sort.”

Kyuhyun shot a glare at Kyuhyun and it made the other boy raise his hands in surrender.

“Look, I’m not telling you how to live your life, but you would be so happy with her. Don’t use the group as an excuse not to date her. You need to own up to the fact that you aren’t dating her because of something else,” he stated. Kyuhyun didn’t let his glare waver… But he also knew that Yongtae was right.

Rays didn’t care if he dated. No one at the Kithewhale would be mad. No one in ENOi either.

The only person who was keeping him from doing this was himself.

And why? Not because he didn’t like you.

“Hey, Kyuhyun!” You called as the group of boys set to clean their dishes from breakfast. He looked up at you, a confused expression on his face. You hesitated as you approached him, glancing down at his plate of food. A concerned expression riddled over your face. “Are you okay? You haven’t eaten.”

Kyuhyun followed your gaze down to his plate, and suddenly he understood why you were concerned. His plate was practically untouched, he hadn’t eaten a single thing he had been so distracted by his own thoughts… He knew what you thought it meant.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he assured softly. You were clearly not taking it, so he took you by the hands, smiling up at you. “Hey, don’t worry so much about me. I’m living the dream. Look how happy I am.”

You wouldn’t meet his eyes so Laon reached forward with one of his hands, placing his fingers tenderly beneath your chin and lifting your eyes to his. Once your gazes met, he let his head fall inquisitively to the side.

“I’m just thinking, really I am,” he assured.

Your grip tightened on his.

“Kyuhyun, I really love you,” you mumbled. It made his heart skip a beat at the words. He wasn’t sure what he could possibly say to those words, and it honestly concerned him the way that he clammed up. His appetite suddenly disappeared again, and he had to really fight to keep himself from tightening his grip on your hand.

“I know,” he murmured. “But you don’t need to worry. I’m okay.”

You didn’t seem convinced by that but you relented after seeing the sincerity in his eyes. You dropped his hand and took the seat in front of him, resting your cheek on your hand as you began to talk.

He knew that he should be focusing on the task at hand… But god was it hard to focus when you were so close to him. He couldn’t help but watch you for your every quirk and nervous tick. The way that your eyes trailed away from his when you got self-conscious by the amount of eye contact you two were sharing.

Your eyes would get wide as you spoke excitedly, trailing through the activity list that Kyuhyun had given you to review. He liked how passionate you were about ENOi. He knew that you would give anything for the group and it touched him to know that you cared about the same sort of things that he did.

He knew that in the future- if you two were to share one together, you would care about the same sort of things. He knew that you would always be devoted to him. You never let him down after all. You always did what he asked no matter how extravagant the request. He was lucky to have you in his corner.

He honestly couldn’t believe that you had ever fallen for someone like him.

“Kyuhyun, are you even listening to me?”

The way that you said his name… It always made him smile just a little bit more, his expression brightening as soon as he looked at you. Clambering over himself to recall what you had said.

“Of course, I am. No idol show unless they invite us. Email the company for the photos and run the album track list with the company,” he replied softly. “I always listen to you love. How could I not?”

He leaned towards you across the table, watching in adoration as your cheeks reddened and you scoffed at his words.

“I know you weren’t listening… I mean, I don’t know how you did that, but I know you weren’t listening,” you mumbled uncertainly. He smiled at you and poked his fork into his food.

“You’re so defensive,” he mumbled teasingly, before raising the food to his lips. He noticed how carefully you watched the action, your apprehension was undeniable, and all it was about was making sure he ate food.

He sort of felt bad for making you worry so much about something so small. After all, his health should hardly be of your concern.

“Since you’re so obsessed with my eating habits. What have yours been like?” He asked between bites of food. In response, your cheeks pinked a little and you looked away from him shyly. His eyebrows raised in surprise.

That wasn’t the reaction he had been expecting.

“I mean… I haven’t had anything to eat today-”

“You’re such a hypocrite!” He exclaimed. He slid his plate of food towards you pointedly and jerked his head towards some spare silverware on the table. “Eat.”

“Kyuhyun I can’t eat-” You interrupted yourself with a sigh and picked up the fork when you saw the unwavering glare that was on Kyuhyun’s face. “Look I may be a hypocrite but at least I’m not as stubborn as you are.”

You took a bit of the food off his plate and plucked it into your mouth. He shrugged.

“Well, I got what I wanted didn’t I?” He asked pointedly.

“Yeah,” you agreed. “I spoil you.”

Kyuhyun chuckled under his breath and settled back a little. Content in just watching you eat the food that he had prepared. He realized with a start that he wasn’t really sure what kind of food you tended to eat. He had never gone to get food with you before, or seen you eat anything at all.

He suddenly became antsy, wondering if you even liked the food he had prepared.

Would he be the one cooking for you in the future? If you two were to get married would he need to learn to cook you food different than what he already knew how to make? He wasn’t really sure how he would fare learning new recipes. Sure, he would do it for you but that would be hours he would spend learning to do things he didn’t already know how to do. Did he even have time for that? A-

“Gotta say, I’m jealous of the other guys. They get to eat your cooking all the time. This food is incredible,” you mumbled interrupting Kyuhyun’s train of thought. You weren’t looking at him, just staring at the food with large eyes. It was a good thing too, because it meant that you didn’t see the color that rose to his cheeks at the compliment.

“You really like it that much? They’re just eggs.”

“The best eggs I’ve ever eaten in my life,” you replied pointedly. “Seriously, I had no clue you cooked this well. I could live on this food.”

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes at your dramatic display of gratitude.

“Yeah, yeah, well if you like it that much then maybe I’ll make some more for you sometime,” he stated.

You made things so simple for him. He was so quick to assume he was a burden in your life. Like somehow his status or his ambition or something would somehow inhibit him from having a relationship with you.

Yet everyday you proved in every way that his frets were all for nothing. You would making dating such an easy thing for him, he just knew you would. Somedays he didn’t understand where his anxieties came from other days he thought those unnecessary anxieties were the reasons that he shouldn’t tell you how much he loved you.

Yet no matter what no matter how many times he turned you down and told you that he didn’t like you as much as you wanted to think- everytime he felt like he was falling, you appeared and made it feel like he was standing on solid ground.

“Hey y/n?” You looked up at him, your eyes full of innocence. He reached forward and took your hand in his. “I love you too.”

You smiled at him.

“I know Kyuhyun.”

And just like that Kyuhyun knew that everything would be okay.

[feelingsobloom]

Biggest Fan

Dating an idol was like a dream come true that you had never imagined you would see come to fruition. 

Sure it was one thing to learn Korean, another thing to move to Korea, and then a whole other thing on its own to just make Korean friends, but to meet Laon in itself was a miracle.

It started off when you just ran into him while on the streets. His papers had gone everywhere, scattering through the wind from the simple force of how quickly you had been rushing.

Your urgency forgotten, you were immediately apologizing, trying your best to try and help him gather all the papers. The sorrow however was quickly replaced by giddiness as the two of you began chasing the papers being torn through the wind like leaves. You both laughed as you jumped for the sheets, and when you guys had finally grabbed the last one- three blocks away from where you started you two were so tired from laughing and running that you both collapsed into the grass, breathing heavily.

“I’m Kyuhyun,” Laon introduced breathlessly, his head turning to look at you, splaying his blonde hair in the grass. You smiled at him and told him your name.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you said softly. He returned the smile.

“And hopefully this isn’t the last time that I get to hear that name,” he mumbled. He sat up in the grass, hovering over your body. That made your face turn red, an action that you luckily could blame on the running. “I know this is a little unorthodox but... I want to see you again. Can I have your number?”

You knew it was a little unorthodox, but you gave it to him anyway.

You didn’t find out for about a month that Laon was an idol.

Sure you met all his friends, and knew he lived in a dorm, and knew a lot of people, but when girls stopped him on the streets, faces red and shy as they spoke to him calling him Laon, and he just brushed it off saying they were childhood friends, you had believed him.

Until you came across the Mnet performance of Bloom of course.

“I didn’t want you to think less of me,” Laon had admitted softly.

“I would never think less of you,” you replied with a roll of your eyes.

“It would be different if we were under a bigger company, or even had a better debut-”

“You’re following your dreams,” you interrupted him, placing your hand comfortingly on his shoulder. “You’re doing what so many people dream of doing, and you’re my boyfriend. I’d support you no matter what.”

Laon had smiled at that, meeting your eyes again. He pressed a small kiss to the corner of your lips and sighed happily. 

“I was lucky to bump into you.”

“I could argue the same.”

But it was hard to date an idol. Not that Laon was too busy for you or anything of the sort. He always made time for you, going out of his way to make sure that you felt included in all the events he did.

You had never realized just how overwhelming it could be to know that Laon was around all sorts of beautiful idols all the time. Especially since you knew that he was an extremely pretty idol. He definitely stood out in a crowd, especially since he was always pushing himself so hard to make sure that he was noticed by others so that his group could stand out and leave their mark.

As such he got a lot of attention from female fans and fellow female idols, and it was enough to make you hug your arms as you waited for him after a fan event or a stage.

You tried not to make it noticeable. You smiled brightly at the girls he introduced you to or pointed out when a fan maybe wanted his attention, but it drove you absolutely crazy on the inside.

They were prettier than you, and more compatible then you, and everything you knew that you could never be for him and you couldn’t help it. You were jealous of the smiles he gave them, and the attention and the tweets and everything.

You wished that you had known about his group before you came to Korea. You wished you were one of the people planning his fan events and coming to every single live no matter what time it was. You wished that you were one of the people starting the twitter group chats, and facebook groups. You wanted to be one of the people that was starting hashtag trends and translating videos because as Laon’s girlfriend you thought that you should be his number one fan.

And the fact was that you were barely a fan as it was.

You tried not to let the thoughts consume you but it was hard to not think about. For crying out loud, Enoi was his everything. The group was his dream, his life goals. If something went wrong with them, his entire world came crashing down. They were his job, his passion, and everything in-between.

And you just weren’t enough.

So when Laon caught you, staring at a fan page with a mournful expression on your face, you tried your best to cover it. But, there wasn’t much you could do in the end.

He took one look at you and knew something was wrong.

“Hey is everything okay?” He mumbled. You didn’t look up at him or respond to him, so he scrunched his nose and sat down beside you. “Come on, babe. Talk to me.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” you mumbled softly. He chuckled a little.

“Yeah? That’s why you won’t look at me huh?”

You didn’t respond to him again, which seemed to be the wrong answer because he took you gently by the waist and lifted you into his lap, pressing his lips gently to yours.

“What’s wrong, love,” he mumbled softly. He kissed you a second time, but still, you tried to ignore him. He did it a third time and caressed your head with his hand. This time it made you giggle a little, and you shamelessly chased his lips, kissing him this time.

“Nothing’s wrong,” you murmured back shyly. “I guess I just missed you.”

“Tell me what’s going on,” he asked again, rubbing his thumb over your cheekbone. “You know, if you don’t tell me these sorts of things our relationship will crumble. Who is always talking about communication?”

You pouted. You hated that he was right.

“It’s just... I’m... I’m not a very good fan,” you admitted. “All these other people are supporting Enoi at every turn, and have been there since... Well, forever, and I didn’t even recognize you the first time that we ran into each other.”

“That’s what’s been bothering you?” He asked, his eyebrows rising in surprise. You didn’t answer. You just looked away from him- honestly a bit embarrassed that this was the reason that you were so wrecked.

“Well...”

“You don’t need to run a blog, or post pictures or write fanfiction, or any of that stuff to be a good fan of Enoi. You are already the biggest fan of Enoi out there- and you know why?”

You kept your pout and didn’t look at him. You just scrunched your nose and hid your face in his chest. He didn’t allow it however, he took your chin between his fingers and lifted your eyes back up to his.

“Because you’re dating me.”

He teasingly closed the distance between the two of you, brushing his lips against yours.

“And I love you.”

Your breath hitched in your throat at the intimacy of the moment.

“I love you too,” you mumbled. “I’m sorry I got jealous.”

“It’s okay, sometimes I get jealous too,” he admitted. He ran his fingers through your hair. “But it’s okay, 'cause you’re all mine right?”

Your cheeks were red, but you nodded anyways.

“Yeah,” you said breathlessly.

Maybe you weren’t the best fan of Enoi, but being by Laon’s side for as long as you two stayed together would certainly make up for that, and you supposed that was enough.