#Bnha Shigaraki | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ghostcore3 · 16 hours ago

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the illusion of free will

people say shigaraki is responsible for the deaths he caused, and while i don’t completely deny that, it’s way more complicated than just “free will.” what people miss is that he was groomed from the age of five, when he was at his most vulnerable until he finally broke free from afo’s grasp. afo deliberately took him in at a point where he was completely dependent on others for guidance, then shaped him into the perfect successor.

to shigaraki, his master wasn’t just a villain, he was his savior, the only one who “understood” him, the only one who gave him a sense of purpose after the world abandoned him. and that’s exactly how manipulation works. afo didn’t just take him in, he rewired his entire mind, fed him lies, reinforced his hatred, and conditioned him to believe that destruction was his only salvation. shigaraki never had a chance to form his own worldview because afo made sure to mold it for him.

look at shigaraki’s reaction when he was separated from afo, it wasn’t just anger, it was pure desperation. that’s the reaction of someone who has been so deeply conditioned that he doesn’t know how to function outside of his abuser’s influence. shigaraki was entirely dependent on afo, and when you’re raised under constant manipulation, you don’t suddenly “wake up” and realize you’ve been controlled your whole life.

it doesn’t work that way. when he saw all might trying to save bakugo while attacking the league, he felt betrayed by the world all over again. to him, it was proof that heroes will never save people like him. but that idea wasn’t his, it was something afo planted in his mind for years, reinforcing it over and over until shigaraki believed it as an absolute truth. so when afo was no longer there, what was left? nothing but the doctrine his master forced onto him. if he wasn’t groomed, if he wasn’t brainwashed into thinking destruction was his only option, then he would have taken another path. but that was never an option for him because he never had the freedom to choose in the first place. as afo himself admitted, shigaraki never had free will. none of his choices were ever his own.

compare this to dabi and toga. they were abused, but they never had an outside force controlling them like afo did with shigaraki. they became villains on their own terms, dabi out of revenge, toga out of rejection from society. but shigaraki? his entire ideology was forced onto him. if afo had gotten to shoto instead, then shoto would have ended up just like shigaraki.

and here’s the worst part; nobody in the story even questions it. if horikoshi wanted us to humanize the villains, then he should have given them a humanizing death, something that forced people to acknowledge what they went through and how they ended up like this. but instead, nobody even stops to ask why afo had to groom a child into being his successor. nobody wonders why japan’s greatest villain was so reliant on manipulating a mentally ill, traumatized young man into doing his bidding. they just see shigaraki as a monster.

shigaraki never had a choice, but the world acts like he did.

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samm1e13 · 1 day ago

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L.O.V.E

🎮 tomura shigaraki x fem!reader smau

a strangers/online friends to lovers university au

masterlist / drink away the pain / tba

main menu;

level nine; drink away the pain

cw; mentions of alcohol and drug usage, drinking, partying, weed smoking, one very brief mention of throwing up, heavy angst, long ass chapter btw, word count; 2.9k exactly

“so touya is the boyfriend you never introduced me to back then, isn’t he?” you and keigo were on the balcony of your apartment, a third blunt being shared amongst you both, while waiting for everybody to show. kenzie had gone home to feed her cat, but said she’d come back for the mini party.

“yeah.” he takes a hit of the blunt, ashes it, and then he passes it to you while blowing the smoke out and forming rings with it.

“what happened?” you inhale deeply, letting the smoke warm your lungs as the haze begins to settle over your body.

“we dated for about two years, until around the time mom died.” keigo shrugs, while looking up to the sky and watching the stars.

“how did it end?” you’re watching him now, you catch how the fingers of his right hand run along the tattoo on his left wrist, the same tattoo you’ve wondered about for years.

oh. it’s from touya.

“i don’t know, he broke up with me in august a couple of weeks after mom’s funeral. all he said was that he couldn’t do it anymore.” by now you finished the blunt and you’re both looking at the stars. there’s a knock on the door and you both stand, walking back inside, his voice stops you before you go to open the door.

“i love him.”

“you mean you loved him, right?”

“no.” he disappears down the hall to his room.

that sentence stays in your head for the rest of the night.

himiko and ochako arrived together with more weed and a bottle of vodka. ochako also brought some sweets from her project with them. kenzie arrived five minutes later with more snacks and some wine. rumi arrived last, carrying some takeout bags and some tequila.

“ooh we are getting fucked up tonight.” rumi says as she eyes everything set out on the counter.

“yes the fuck we are.” you agree, everyone else in the room cheering along.

and thus, it begins. you all spend the next few hours smoking, eating, and drinking, except keigo who only smokes because he has work tomorrow. the clock reads 11:25pm, a little over an hour ago keigo had told the five of you about the history between him and dabi. and now you’re all just lounging around the living room. music comes from the speakers and a very confusing game of uno is being played.

“we should go to the club.” toga says from her spot on the floor. it’s offhanded, not meant to be taken seriously, but your drunk brain thinks it’s the most genius idea you’ve heard all day.

“let’s do it.” you get looks from the girls and keigo only sighs deeply once they begin cheering.

“Yes let’s fucking goo!” rumi cheers, the five of you stumble to your feet and begin rambling about where to go. keigo offers to drive you guys to the club and pick you up if necessary, but his words enter one ear, float around your brain, and exit the other.

it takes all of thirty minutes to decide on a club and get into the car somewhat comfortably, keigo drives to the club. dropping you off, he tells rumi (the most sober one) to call him when you’re ready to go home. you say your byes, keigo watching the five of you walk to the bouncer at the door before driving away.

how did i get here?

keigo thinks as he stands in front of a swingset in an abandoned park, the same one he and touya used to sneak away to back in high school. the same park he gave his everything to touya at, the same one where they said their first ‘i love yous’. the park they called their place.

the same park dabi broke his heart in.

So how did he get here?

he dropped his sister and their friends off at the club and then went for a drive. he must have ended up here subconsciously, it wouldn’t be the first time. keigo comes here every now and again, but he’s never been here at the same time as him.

standing there, looking as beautiful as the day he broke keigo, is touya, who is looking back at keigo as if he’d seen a ghost.

keigo has half a mind to turn around and leave, but his feet won’t move. planted firmly on the ground, he stays, eyes locked on dabi who also doesn’t move. they’re less than five feet from each other, there’s so much to stay, but neither open their mouths to speak.

touya takes a step forward, arms reaching for him, and keigo breaks. rapidly shaking his head, the tears fall and a choked sob leaves him.

“no.” he tries to be firm, but his voice shakes.

“keigo, please.” dabi begs, taking another step forward.

keigo takes a step back, still shaking his head.

“no, i can’t. you can’t. kenzie, she, no.” he takes another step backwards.

“please, feather. i-i, please let me talk to you.” a step forward from touya, a step back from keigo. no matter how close they are, there will always be a distance.

“feather, please.” dabi stops moving, though he still continues to beg.

“no, flame. just stop, please?” keigo’s tone starts firm and bitter, before fading into a soft plea.

“i love you.” it’s not dabi saying it, but rather touya, that sixteen year old kid who tore keigo’s heart out of his chest and set fire to it.

“you can’t.” keigo says before turning and leaving, this time it’s touya that falls to his knees, a scream tearing from his throat as he sobs.

how did you get here?

you remember partying at home with the girls and keigo. himi suggested going to the club, and you remember keigo dropping you off. the club has been fun. you drank more, danced with the girls, drank again. you remember running into a friend of ocha’s and taking a picture, he then joined you guys for some shots and dancing before he slipped away to go smoke outside.

you remember taking pictures of himi and ocha, you took a picture with kenzie. you danced on top of a table. you remember a bathroom break where you threw up, rumi made you start drinking water after that. you remember himi saying bye, her friend spinner was there to take her and ocha home. you remember kenzie calling dabi, who didn’t answer, before saying she was going to uber home. that left you with rumi, but as you looked around the club, you couldn’t find her anywhere.

is that how you got here?

you’re leaning against the wall outside, phone in hand, with no sign of rumi still. with a sigh, you unlock your phone to call keigo, breath hitching when the screen opens to your discord, shigs name and most recent messages showing. you’re pressing the call button and putting the phone to your ear before you can think twice. you’re about to hang up when you hear the sound of the line connecting and a voice, deep and comforting, answers in a whisper.

“hey flowey.” his voice has tears welling up in your eyes.

“i miss you so fucking much shiggy.” it’s been almost two weeks since your last phone call with him. you’ve been busy working on your project with tomu, who you’ve gotten closer to in that time. and shigs, has been planning his grandmother’s funeral, which was earlier today.

“i know we’ve both been busy, but i miss our phone calls, our gaming sessions. i miss you.” you’re spilling out everything you’ve wanted to say to him, barely any control over your words as you just ramble.

“you don’t understand how much you actually mean to me, i-i’ve never seen your face but you’re an amazing person. you ground me and make me feel a peace in this fucked up world. i feel so disconnected from everything else when i’m spending time with you.” you choke out and can vaguely hear his breath hitching.

“i’m sorry.” is all he says.

“you don’t get it, do you?” you whisper brokenly.

“what?” the confusion is evident in his tone.

“i’m in love with you, b-but i think i’m also developing feelings for my project partner, his name is tomura. he’s shy and quiet, really nice though, i think you’d like him. he’s pretty cute, has this cute little mole on his chin and a scar over his lips.” you pause to take a breath.

“am i a bad person, shigs?” you’re both silent after the words leave your lips, the only sound is both of your soft breathing.

“no, flowey you aren’t.” he whispers.

“i feel like it. i’m in love with you, but i like tomu. that doesn’t seem fair to either of you.” you slide down the wall and sit on the floor.

“flowey-” he starts.

“it’s so cold, shigs, and i can’t find my friend either. i should call my brother to come get me.” you cut him off and sigh.

you hear somebody call your name, for some reason it echoes through the phone but you’re too drunk to realize. looking up, you see tomu about fifteen feet away, making his way to you.

“oh, tomu’s here.” you mumble into the phone. “shigs i-” he cuts you off.

“i’m sorry for everything.” he mutters and you’re left confused, why is he sorry?

“shiggy, what?” you’re still looking at tomu before checking your phone to make sure shigs hasn’t hung up, he hasn’t. bringing the phone back to your ear, you call his name again.

“i love you flowey, more than you know, and i’m sorry for what i’m about to do.” he hangs up before you can say anything. a tear falls down your cheek just as tomu kneels in front of you.

“you okay?” tomu’s voice is soft, it brings you a moment of peace before your eyes make contact with his and you cry.

“take me home tomu?” his heart breaks a second time at the pain in your voice.

how did he get here?

tomura wasn’t sure how he’d gotten here, or rather, he wasn’t sure why he was here. he knew how he got here, and he knew what happened prior to getting here. dabi came home with shoto, who promptly passed out in his brother’s room. the two of them then went up to the roof for a smoke sesh, a much needed smoke sesh. touya rolled some blunts, splitting them with shigs, and the two sat there smoking in silence.

“y/n said she met you today.” shigs spoke up, dabi hummed.

“yeah, she’s nice. pretty too, just your type man.” touya tells him.

“crazy part is, she’s keigo’s little sister. saw him today too at their place.” dabi snorted, though there wasn’t anything funny about what happened.

“no shit, high school keigo?” tomura took a long hit of his blunt, touya nodded.

“damn man, no wonder you’re all depressed on twitter. seeing him must have fucked you up.” touya sighed heavily at that.

“yeah, it did.” the pair goes back to being silent, sharing another blunt before dabi speaks again.

“i followed her on twitter, you wanna see her?” tomura would deny the way he blushed after touya’s question.

“yeah.” touya pulls his phone out, opening it up to your twitter profile and letting shigs scroll through.

“say you’re fucking lying.” tomura grumbles and dabi’s face portrays his shock.

“what?” touya takes another hit and side eyes his friend.

“dude, this is my project partner.” touya snorts as the words leave tomura’s mouth before it quickly dissolves into a coughing fit. he coughs for a minute or so, while shigs continue scrolling through your profile.

“no fucking way bro, how the fuck did you not recognize her voice? i get why she wouldn’t recognize yours, because of the modulator and you’re quiet in your tomura persona, but how did you not rocognize hers?” touya finally manages to say after his coughing fit dies down, shigs shrugs.

“she speaks differently too, it’s more, i don’t know, preppy i guess? kind of like she’s putting on this facade, a personality she thinks people will like.” tomura explains, dabi nods with a hum.

it’s quiet again, shigs hands touya back his phone right as the timeline refreshes. a post from toga appears, it’s a photo of you. the lighting is green and you’re dancing on a table, looking so ethereal, that his breath hitches.

“they’re at a club?” tomura’s voice comes out lower than before and dabi nods as he grabs his phone.

“yeah they got there like an hour ago, the one in hosu, by the shitty bar with the red sign outside. spinner is going to get himi and ocha after he finishes inventory at the shop. and kenzie is supposed to call me when she’s ready for me to get her.” he takes a last hit of the blunt between his fingers, while shigs goes quiet.

“i’m gonna go for a drive.” tomura says after a minute of silence.

“yeah, me too.” touya agreed.

so maybe that’s why he was here, to see you?

because right now, he’s sitting in his car parked across the street from the club you’re at. and he can see you from where he’s at, you’re leaning against the wall, phone in hand, wearing a dress that looks amazing on you, and it makes his heart race.

he’s lost in his thoughts, fingers drumming against the steering wheel when his phone goes off with the discord voice call sound. he knows without even looking that it’s you. his eyes land on your figure and sure enough, there you stand with the phone against your ear. you look like you’re about to hang up and he answers the call before he can stop himself.

“hey flowey.” he can see the sad look on your face and assumes you have tears gathering in your eyes.

“i miss you so fucking much shiggy.” he can feel his heart break as he hears the pain in your voice.

god, he wishes he wasn’t such a dick to you today. it had been such a long day, he was exhausted emotionally and didn’t want to burden you. clearly, that didn’t matter since here you were, drinking the pain away and still thinking of him. and there’s nothing he can do except sit there and listen as you cry to him over the phone.

he listens as you ramble, telling him how much you miss him and how much he means to you.

“i’m sorry.” it’s the only thing his fucked up brain can think to tell you in this shitty situation.

“you don’t get it, do you?” your voice, normally so happy and full of love when talking to him, now sounds distant and broken, it leaves him with an awful feeling of guilt in his chest.

he voices his confusion and immediately regrets it, because then he has to sit there and listen as you tell him about how much you love him but how you’re gaining feelings for somebody else. who just so happens to also be him, unbeknownst to you of course. he listens as you talk about him as tomu, and frowns at the next words that leave your lips.

“am i a bad person, shigs?” he stays quiet at that, the sound of your breathing mixes in with his.

“no, flowey you aren’t.” he whispers trying to reassure you. he doesn’t even notice that he’s out of the car walking towards you.

“i feel like it. i’m in love with you, but i like tomu. that doesn’t seem fair to either of you.” he hears you say over the phone, as he watches your body slide down the wall to the floor.

“flowey-” he doesn’t know what to say but it doesn’t matter when you cut him off, saying it’s cold and mentioning calling your brother.

he calls your name aloud as tomu and as you look up to see him walking towards you, he hopes you didn’t hear it over the phone. he sees the surprise in your eyes as you confirm it’s him, even saying it to him over the phone and he has to resist the urge to laugh.

you go to say something, but he cuts you off with an apology. he listens silently as you voice your confusion, watches as you check your phone to make sure he hasn't hung up yet, and then when you return the phone to your ear and call his name, he finally answers.

“i love you flowey, more than you know, and i’m sorry for what i’m about to do.” he hangs up before you can say anything, and watches as a tear falls down your cheek, before he takes the last few steps and kneels down in front of you as tomu.

“you okay?” he makes sure his voice is in the soft tone of tomu that you’re used to, he can see the short moment of peace it brings you before your eyes meet his and you begin to cry.

“take me home tomu?” and he feels his heart break once again at the pain in your voice and the look of devastation on your face.

level nine; drink the pain away completed!

one new achievement; dabihawks meet again!

tag list; [open]

@nkox, @dumbassbrigade, @va-3, @kodditty, @personally4runa

mutual tags; @shigarakislaughter, @chaoslibra, @sexylexy12

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