#Blaze is a silly giggly drunk

[vorefluff]

Drunk poker

This is the event that starts it all. This is where the Vore Blog Vlogging Times starts. Drunk poker. 

Drunk poker entails:

1) Being drunk. 2) No actual money exchanged. Just favors/dares/items. 3) All the rules are fucked up 4) Turns are out of order 5) Cheating all over the place, intentional or not (mostly by gryphon) 6) Reliant entirely on drunken memory as to what the bets were and who gets what 7) And a conversation the day after, straightening everything out and figuring out what the bets and everything was. Then decide collectively as a group whether it’s all valid and people are going to be held to it, or if it’s going to be forgotten and thrown away. 

There ain’t any vore in this one, and this is more the settup before the poker game, not the drunk poker game itself. It’s just short and silly.

Next story: https://vorefluff.tumblr.com/post/185113304474/vore-blog-vlogging-time

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John is heading back to his room after grabbing a quick snack when Gryphon turns the corner and sees him. 

“Hey! John! I was just lookin’ fer ya!” Gryphon saw, grinning at him and leaning against the wall. Her face is flushed.

“Are you drunk?”

“Jus a little. I’mm tipsy.”

“Lemme know if you need me to drive you somewhere.”

“Noo, no, that’s not it. Ya wanna ge’ drunk and play poker with me?”

“I was just about to go back to studying. And I’m broke and don’t gamble.”

“Nno, no. No money. Favors and dares.”

John considers it. “...Lemme go get Blaze too then.”

“Yeah sure, whatever. Is that a yes then?”

“It’s a recipe for disaster that I’m definitely going to regret, but yes.”

“You got to get drunk though. You’re not allowed to play if yer not drunk, k? Same for Blazy Bitch.”

“Come up with that nickname yourself?”

“Yes. Very proud of it too.”

“Pfft. Play in the dining room?”

“What am I playin’ in the dining room?”

“Poker. I’m asking if you want to play poker in the dining room.”

“Oh. Yeh. Okay.”

“I’ll go get Blaze drunk then,” John says and goes to hunt down Blaze. He found Blaze chilling on the floor beside his bed reading a book. 

“Why are you on the floor reading instead of the bed?” John asks, confused.

“It’s comfier.”

“Really?”

“No. I fuckin’ fell off the bed earlier and got too lazy to get up again.”

“Wait was that sarcastic or actually what happened.”

“The world may never know.”

“Aw. Oh well. Do you wanna play drunk poker with Gryphon and I?”

“Oooo, I get to get drunk?”

“Mhmm.”

“You or Gryphon volunteering for that?”

“Me.”

“Kinda figured, but it was worth a shot.”

“What, you saying her blood is better?”

“Yes.”

“Fair, fair. Well you’re stuck with mine, sorry.”

“I mean honestly as long as I get drunk I don’t care whose it is.”

“Desperate, huh?”

“It’s a rare luxury for a goody two shoes vampire that can’t just jump a drunk in an alley.”

“True. Well come on. Oh yeah, with the drunk poker. No money, just favors and dares.”

“Bloody hell. Is it too late to back out then?”

“Well, if you don’t want to get drunk. It’s both or neither friendo.”

“Well fuck. I guess I don’t have a choice.”

“Good to hear it. Common,” John says, gesturing for Blaze to hurry up. 

“Don’t fkin rush me, binch,” Blaze says, getting up and bending the corner of the page to mark his spot in the book. 

“Sacrilege! Heresy! Blasphemy! How could you do that to the poor book! What did that book ever do to you?”

“It killed my family,” Blaze says, rolling his eyes and tossing it on the bed.

“Mhmm. Sure. I bet you didn’t give it a proper trial with a judge and jury,” John says as they make their way out to the kitchen.

“I’m the fkin’ accuser, witness, judge, and jury. All in one. The Ultimate Judge. God himself.”

“Uh huuuuuh.”

“Can you imagine that though? Me as a god? Pfft. All I’d do is lounge around and eat all the food I can’t enjoy as a vamp. Like potato chips. I’d be a cannibal - a couch potato eating potato chips. I’d be a horrible god.”

“Very true.”

“Hey you weren’t supposed to agree with me there.”

John shrugs, and rummages in the alcohol drawer. It takes him a little while to decide, but he finally settles on tequila. 

“Going for the hard stuff, huh?”

“Heck yeah.”

“You’re supposed to use the fuck word there.”

“Mmm, nah. Heck that. How much should I do?”

“6 shots.”

“Thaaaaaat’s a little too much there.”

“5 shots?”

“I think I’ll stick with just three.”

“Do ‘em all at once.”

“Are you the little devil on my shoulder or something?”

“Yes and I want to get drunk too hurry up.”

“We should get out a camera and put mics on everyone, so we’ve got recorded proof of whatever deals and dares are made.”

“That seems a little much, don’tcha think?”

“Eh, yeah,” John says, grabbing a shot glass and pouring his first shot of tequila. 

“Nnnnnnnow chug the rest of the bottle.”

“No.”

“Half the bottle?”

“Nope. It’s prolly a really really good thing you can’t drink straight up alcohol.”

“Why?”

“Downing the whole bottle at once without eating first would prolly put you in a coma.”

“Oh. Uh. Don’t do that then. That’s bad.”

“Oh really? I didn’t know that,” John says, throwing back his first shot and grinning at Blaze. 

“But you can do multiple at once fine, right?”

“Well you’re not really supposed to.”

“That’s not a no.”

“This stuff tastes nasty. I hope you appreciate what I’m doing for you here,” John says, downing another two shots. He grimaces and thumps his chest, then belches. “Really really nasty. Wooph. Excuse me.”

“Nice one. One more?”

John sighs and looks at Blaze. “Really?”

“Please?”

After a couple moments, John shakes his head and pours another shot. “The things I do for you. This is gonna kill me later, you know. You’re supposed to space them out more. This is it, no more shots,” John says, downing the last one. He coughs a few times and puts away the tequila. 

“How long until I get drunk too?”

“Probably about twenty minutes before you can drink for max effect. I dunno how it works for vamps and how much or how long it takes after that though.”

“What do we do until then?”

“I dunno. Ask Gryphon. She said we weren’t allowed to play until we were drunk, and we aren’t drunk yet.”

“Uhhhh can you ask Gryphon.”

“You really need to work on having a better relationship with her. We’re all on the same team.”

“Well yeah but she’s fokin’ scary.”

“Not really. She just has a low tolerance for jerks.”

“Are you saying that I’m a jerk?”

“I didn’t say it, you did.”

“Mreh. Fuck you.”

“No thank you.”

“I- stop doing that.”

“Nah. So are you gonna go ask Gryphon?”

“Nah.”

“Hey no fair, that’s my trick.”

“Nah.”

“It doesn’t work like that. Then it’s just annoying instead of clever.”

“It was never clever.”

“Heheh that rhymes. Never clever. Never clever cleaver beaver. Pfft.”

“Uh John, you alright there?”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I just like rhymes. But never mind that, we need to ask Gryphon what we’re supposed to do while we wait for the tequila to kick in,” John says, planting his hands on Blaze’s shoulders, turning him around, and propelling him through the doorway in Gryphon’s direction.

“Wait what - feckin’ ‘ell.”

“Gryphon! What’re we supposed to do while we wait to get drunk?” John asks. 

“I dunno. Pin the tail on the donkey?” Gyphon suggests.

“I don’t think we have that game.”

“Nno no. We do. Jus get a ribbon and a tack. We already got our ass right here,” Gryphon says, gesturing to Blaze.

“Sorry, I ain’t gay.”

“What? How. What? How is that related to. What?” John says, confused.

Gryphon furrows her brows, trying to figure it out.

“The. Pin the tail on the donkey. The tack. I don’t want things in my ass.”

“Oh.”

“I made an attempt to be funny.”

“I don’t think it really worked,” John says.

“Yeah, I’ll just leave the gay jokes to you.”

“We should go out sometime,” John says, shoulder bumping Blaze.

“... was that supposed to be a gay joke?”

“Yeh.”

Gryphon snickers

“Why am I the butt of every bloody joke?”

“Cause you’re an ass,” Gryphon says. 

“No, that doesn’t work. You can’t use the same joke twice,” John scolds. 

“Can we not make that joke at all maybe.”

“Ooooooh noooooo, he’s offended! That’s it, cancel the missions, disband the team,” Gryphon says, putting her hands up.

Blaze grumbles. 

“So what’re we doing?” John asks again.

“I dunno.”