#Blame Lem

[lostreverb]

i am no better than a man because i keep thinking about evan peters's ass

[lem-argentum]

good morningggg ^v^ <33!!!! the new john.miko art .;

[heloflor]

Bowser, pointing at his destroyed clown car: So, who broke it? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.

Morton: ...I did, I broke it-

Bowser: No, no you didn’t. Iggy?

Iggy: Don’t look at me! Look at Roy!

Roy: What?! I didn’t break it.

Iggy: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?

Roy: Because it’s sitting right in front of us, and it’s broken.

Iggy: Suspicious.

Roy: No, it’s not!

Ludwig: If it matters, probably not, but Wendy was the last one to use it.

Wendy: Liar! I don’t even fly that crap!

Ludwig: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the ship hangar earlier?

Wendy: I use the airship propellers to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that, Ludwig-!

Morton: Ok, ok, let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, dad.

Bowser: No! Who broke it?!

Larry: ...Dad, Junior’s been awfully quiet.

Junior: Really?!

Larry: Oh, yeah, really!

Everyone arguing

Bowser, whispering to Kamek: I broke it. It hit my head so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now on, they’ll be at each other’s throats with war paint on their faces and a Goomba head on a stick...Good, it was getting a little chummy around here.

[lemonsbakery]

THE RAT POISON GRIND NEVER STOPS‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[god-mouths]

everyone wants stephanie carnally

[eastgaysian]

lemming is divorced in every universe but in the original timeline (i guess at this point i should say working title of this project was order rodentia) it's kind of his bad. in every other one it's Lemming unfairly blames himself for the messy end of a complicated unhealthy relationship that shaped his life and this fuels his lifelong insecurities and gives him terrible commitment issues. order rodentia lemming gets divorced because he has unresolved problemsissues he won't talk about that make him unable to settle down into domesticity with the guy who really sincerely loves him. and then he immediately gets into a situationship with a rich guy who lives in another country

[melodxi]

Your writeblr coffee shop order is ready!

Coffee: Does your character hold a lot of grudges? What is something they are bitter about?

this ask is really old sdfjsdfg…answering for a much larger oc masterlist than the last time yall saw me LMAO (this isn’t even all of it) (all of these are kinda vague uhhh never let me answer at night)

i think my definition of grudge is rather unclear so it’s a pretty open answer

Haley - just a few. most of it concerns elowen, shocker

Halcyon - she has more of a “what’s done is done but what hasn’t been done can be changed” mentality (her gf’s the one who holds grudges, probably)

Twelve - bro cannot hold a single grudge. like. at all. absolutely terrible

Verrill - too many things, i’m not even going to list them

Ria - so first of all you didn’t wait for me while walking (any resentment is either silly or resolved immediately)

Naeri - nah

Elowen - no as well, besides yknow. general humanity things

Ida - gestures at auxili

Ibys - if you asked them they probably couldn’t pinpoint any, but yes

Aisi - wow i wonder

—

Kyrai - things from the past, it’s all put away to deal with some day

Telios - general well. not humanity things

Lotti - grudges? what’s that?

Itaph - mostly directed towards parents, but mostly moved on

Zyx - permanently bitter no 1

Aelya - maaaybe? it’s short-lasting

Iasis - permanently bitter no 2

Eiryv - holds whatever grudges other people won’t own up to having

Roxiva - give her a moment she’s uh. dealing with it wait

—

Leif - lindsey when he Gets You lindsey

Elvira - short-lasting or permanent resentment pick your poison

—

Aenohe - as an older sister forgiveness is in her veins

Yinai - as a younger sibling no fuck you

Cathr - they’re an exile i think it’s a given 

Yun - wants to say no but that would be a lie. the world kinda sucks and damn well they’ll do something about it

Heris - tried to overthrow her captain and future s/o because of one. go figure

Eux - no (that’s what he thinks)

Dacre - permanently bitter no 3 but at least this one doesn’t care about it much 

An - doesn’t see any reason to waste time on such things

Ketil - guess what their story’s about

Aspho - not really, surprisingly. just moves on (too quickly even)

Tawanan - treating them badly? funny joke…not

[critter-creature-or-beast]

Despite its craving for violence, the Norway lemming is officially a critter!

Submitted for classification by @liberhoe

"or perhaps the norway lemming, which is extremely aggressive and territorial"

Image by GRID-Arendal, CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

[depressedstressedlemonzest]

Ooh Henry why are you acting funny around mr. Gold? Your mom is literally the evil queen.

[bunnis-monsters]

NSFW

Attempting to help your naga lover shed but he’s super sensitive and keeps getting hard every time you brush against his fresh skin.

It’s embarrassing when his cocks twitch while you gently rub lotion into his skin and kiss his neck. He’s never been so vulnerable in front of someone else before, he had always shed by himself.

But you’re gentle, your movements slow and soft against his delicate skin, and who could blame him for nearly cumming when you touch one of his cocks?

Getting to snuggle into your plump figure as you jerk him off, your warmth sinking into his soft, baby smooth skin was the best feeling.

Just some thoughts… nagas <3

———————

NSFW TAGLIST: @avalordream @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @im-eating-rn @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @yoongiigolden @peachesdabunny @murder-hobo @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @i8kaeya @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @keikokashi @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @spicyspicyliving @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @honey-crypt @karljra @zyettemoon1800 @exodiam @vexillum-moeru @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @binnieonabike @enchantedsylveon @mysticranger575 @readeryn68 @danielle143 @kittenlover614 @filthybunny420 @annavittoria-mm @makimamybelovedwife @blubearxy @omglovelylaila @toocollectionchaos-universe-blog @fruk-you-usuk-fans @wil10wthetree @hammerhead96-blog @slightlyusedfloormat @bubblez-blop @sunshineangel-reads @heroneki-neko

[pretty-little-mind33]

Tangerine x fem!reader

Summary: Tangerine protects you at a fundraiser and then Lemon learns about the two of you - Epilogue to Don't Blame Me

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: heavy make-out scene, swearing, canon like violence, attacking, mentions of blood and death, slapping, sexual innuendos, protective!Tangerine, jokingly implied daddy kink

~ thank you for requesting @j23r23 ily! this was fun to write! ~

TANGERINE MASTERLIST

Tangerine's hand grips your hair so firmly, his lips crashing into yours as he holds you close with his other hand. He's pressed you up against the wall of this empty corridor, your lips already bruised black and blue from the intensity of his kisses. You try and catch your breath to try and remind him Lemon is waiting inside.

"Tan," you mumble as his kisses trail down your neck, and you gasp, "This fundraiser is important for us. You're supposed to be m-mingling—ah—" you moan and your hands pull at his curls as his tongue explores your mouth as if it doesn't already know every crevice. 

"If you didn' want me kissing ya, you shouldn't av dressed like this," Tangerine groans, his hands gripping your hip as your navy blue dress bunches around your waist and the slit exposes your skin.

"I fuckin' hate these fuckin' events, you know that better than anyone, but you're making it so much sweeter," he growls and his teeth pull at your lip after he speaks and you squeal and press your palm on his chest, pushing him away. 

"Ow," you hold your hand over your mouth. 

Tangerine's hands find your cheeks and with obvious care, he examines your lip. When he finds no injury to fuss over, he kisses your forehead and mumbles, "'M sorry, my love."

You melt, all your anger disappearing as your shoulders relax. 

"Can we just go inside and do our jobs? Lemon is gonna kill us," you sigh and absentmindedly run your hands over the buttons of Tangerine's vest. 

"Bull," Tangerine chuckles and runs his thumb over the sides of your mouth, "Lemon's most likely too busy bothering some poor sucker over Thomas facts, bless 'im," he looks down and takes your purse, fishing out your lipstick and handing it to you, "Might wanna freshen up, darlin'. You look like a downright mess," he smiles and creates some distance between you. 

You frown. You take out your pocket mirror and angle it to see how smudged your crimson lipstick is. Your eyes snap up and see that Tangerine's lips have taken most of your lipstick and he looks just as sinful as you do. 

You turn the mirror around and deadpan, "So do you, dimwit."

He shrugs and just wipes the side of his mouth as he looks to the side. It doesn't help much, but he doesn't seem to care.

Tangerine barely looks like he's listening, his attention suddenly pulled elsewhere. You turn the mirror back around and then fumble with your lipstick as you try and reapply the color, grumbling, "Lem's right, you're such a fucking Gordon. Never fucking listening to me."  

However, you weren't expecting Tangerine's hand to suddenly close around mouth, the gesture surprising you so much you drop the mirror and it shatters on the ground near your heels. You prepared to shout at him, because what the fuck, when the look into your boyfriend's eyes, however, makes your blood runs cold.

"Something isn't right," he mutters, his hold on you unwavering, "I know those guys. They're not supposed to be here." Tangerine's voice sounds stern as he looks back towards the ballroom where the fundraiser is being held and the music is faint.

Abruptly, a loud gunshot is heard and screams follow as you gap and your hands fly to your ears. Tangerine seems unphased by the sound and without warning, he holds your forearm and pulls you down the hall in the opposite direction from the chaos now ensuing in the other room.

"Lemon," you exclaim breathlessly. Only, Tangerine isn't listening as he practically drags you to some smaller room of the building and pushes you inside.

The door closes shut before you can even process what he'd done and you slam your palms onto the splintered wood, shouting, "Hey!? Tangerine, what the fuck?" 

"I'll be back for you," you barely hear him over the gunshots and screams, and then nothing for a moment until it all resumes, and your shouting is drowned out by shouts of pain and fear. Your mind is racing as you look around the small, cramped, maintenance closet he'd basically forced you into.

Tears blur your vision but you try to find something to pick at the lock or however Tangerine had locked this goddamn door.

You continue to hear screams and gunshots. Your hands start to hurt as you use the pin in your hair to pick the lock instead. It's useless for a while and you slam your palm on the door in frustration.

What if something had happened to them? Why did he push you away? You could have helped them like you always do!

Finally, after what seems like forever, you hear the gunshots cease and it's replaced by sirens. You shove open the door with your shoulder, choking on a sob as you look around. You see bodies and blood everywhere and you feel weak as you walk towards the stairs and the exit.

You're too scared to scream out in case whoever was shooting is still around. 

Everyone is crowded in the street, some are injured in their sparkling dresses and fancy suits. Ambulance and police are parked all around and you know every assassin and criminal there is grateful for the cover of the charity.

You stumble into the crowd, desperately looking for two familiar faces, and when you hear an all too familiar rough voice snap out an insult, you snap your head around.

"Ya gotta let me back inside, you bastards! Do ya hear me? Someone is still in there! I gotta get 'er," Tangerine snarls and attempts to stand from the sidewalk where three exhausted-looking cops are trying to calm him down. He's bloodied and messy, and his eyes look wild. He's pissed. His arm is in a sling and Lemon is holding an ice-pack to his forehead as he grumbles to himself. 

You let out a breath and without thinking you find yourself running towards them as fast as your stupid heels can take you. Your mascara stains your cheeks and the stickiness prickles your skin as you choke on a sob when Tangerine sees you.

He stands up, his eyes now wide with pure shock and relief. The three officers look confused but move to the side when they see you approaching. 

The situation then becomes ever more awkward for them when you wrap your arms around Tangerine's neck and kiss him, pressing yourself into him to have him close. You ignore what a mess he's in or the way he squirms away because of his hurt arm. In fact, when you pull away you look him dead in the eyes and lift your hand to slap him. 

"Bloody hell—" Lemon stands beside his brother, his eyes wider than you've ever seen them.

At the same time, one of the officers grabs your arms and pulls you away from Tangerine, "Miss, you can't—"

"Don't touch her," Tangerine snarls harshly and with his good hand, he pushes the officer away from you and stares at him. "We're good here," he says with such authority they don't argue and leave you three alone.

"I cannot believe you locked me in a closet?!" you hiss and reach up to touch Tangerine's cheek, running your thumb over a bruise you think you made with your ring. Oops. "You nutter," you say.

"You kissed him," Lemon says again. 

"I had to, Peach, I couldn't have those dangerous fuckers hurting you!" Tangerine says calmly, unphased by your slap, and looks to the building and all the chaos, "I don' even know what they wanted from all of us—I mean, what sane person would put a hit on a bunch of assassins and hitmen?" His voice is softer as he thinks aloud. 

You slap his chest to pull his attention to you again. "I'm so mad at you! You could have died!"

"You kissed him," Lemon repeats, staring at the both of you as if he's in a trance. Then, he shakes his head and puts in between you and Tangerine, his arms outstretched on either side of him. "Will you fucks just shut up for one goddamn second?!" he glares at his brother and then looks at you, "You kissed him!?"

You bite your lip, the situation sinking in.

Shit.  

"She's done much more than that," Tangerine says, his tone smug.

"Tan!?"

"What?!" Lemon snaps his head to look at his brother. 

Realization dawns on him as he looks between his two favorite people and a look of disgust soon graces his features, "Gross! You've been hooking up? Seriously?!"

Tangerine stares at his brother sternly, "No. I love her. We love each other."

Lemon looks even more appalled and he looks at you as if you've lost your mind, "You love this arsehole?" he asks. You feel warmth on your cheeks but you nod and see Tangerine's shoulders visibly relax when you admit to Lemon you love him too. "Thomas help me," Lemon mutters and holds his head as he slumps back down on the pavement, "You fuckers are givin' me a headache."

Tangerine rolls his eyes and pulls your attention back to him when he touches your arm and moves you away from Lemon. You look up at him, still incredibly angry but the touch of his calloused hand on your cheek weakens your anger. "Peach," he whispers and pulls you in as he kisses your forehead, "'M okay, see, 'm not dead," he tells you as if one of his arms isn't in a sling.

"I can take care of myself, you know—" you pout, but you let him hold you close. 

"I know. But ya have me now. You've always had me," Tangerine says and looks you in the eyes, "I wasn't thinking, okay? I was just scared of losing ya. Can ya forgive me?" 

He says it so softly you have no choice but to accept his demand and you nod. 

"Lucky me," Tangerine chuckles and then kisses your lips sweetly. You roll your eyes at him when he drapes his suit coat over your shoulders to keep you warm as you walk back to the car but you lean into him anyway. Lemon trails behind you both, pouting. 

When he catches up, he says, "No kissing in front of me, alright?!"

"No promises," Tangerine winks at you and nuzzles his chin in your hair.

"Ugh, Peach, dump this arsehole already!" Lemon sounds exasperated by you both and you laugh, deciding to add a little salt to the wound. 

"But Daddy, I love him," you fake a whine in a high-pitched voice, quoting one of Lemon's favorite movies. Lemon, although understanding the reference, looks absolutely horrified at this.

"Don't call me that!"

"Don't call him that," Tangerine deadpans at the same time as his brother and pulls you in closer. You giggle when his mustache tickles your ear as he jokes in a whisper that you can only call him that when the time is right.

Lemon loses his shit when he hears his brother and he immediately pretends to gag for the rest of the walk back to the car. 

[lostreverb]

if i had a nickel for every time kyle gallner portrayed a fast food worker who turns out to be a psycho shooter i'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but isn't it weird that it happened twice

[lem-argentum]

guys will havw their death guaranteed in less than three hours and be wasting time joking like this

[fromstormsend]

"They hacked the Maiden's breasts off too, though those were only wood," he told them. "And the eyes, the eyes were jet and lapis and mother-of-pearl, they pried them out with their knives. May the Mother have mercy on them all." "Whose work was this?" said Lem Lemoncloak. "Mummers?" "No," the old man said. "Northmen, they were. Savages who worship trees. They wanted the Kingslayer, they said." Arya heard him, and chewed her lip. She could feel Gendry looking at her. It made her angry and ashamed. -ASOS Arya IV

“(…)This place was put to the torch a long time ago.” “Who did it, then?” asked Gendry. “Hoster Tully.” Notch was a stooped thin grey-haired man, born in these parts. “This was Lord Goodbrook’s village. When Riverrun declared for Robert, Goodbrook stayed loyal to the king, so Lord Tully came down on him with fire and sword. After the Trident, Goodbrook’s son made his peace with Robert and Lord Hoster, but that didn’t help the dead none.” A silence fell. Gendry gave Arya a queer look, then turned away to brush his horse. -ASOS Arya VIII

The first time i read these chapters i felt like Gendry is kind of blame Arya for those cruel behaviors because she is a Stark and a half Tully. But then i realized whenever he is annoyed for something Arya describes his situation very clear.

“He always looked pained when he tried to think, like it hurt him something fierce.” Or “Gendry got that stubborn look on his face(..)”

But most of the time Gendry’s fury comes from his voice but he never talked about those cruel scenes with Arya. And now i think the reason he gave that looks to Arya is because he knows Arya well and thinking like “What kind of lord’s daughter is she?” Because he saw her with helping people, behave him as her equal, try to save people from fire etc. He gave this look not because of angry with her but because he recognizes how different her from other highborns.

[lemonsbakery]

Childhood is constantly portrayed as carefree and cheery, but isn't childhood just adults taking advantage of adolescence? The tooth fairy doesnt exist, neither do vampires or the monsters in the closet, its all just traps that adults set out for children to get stuck in so that they can become more mature once they break out of said trap. Being a child is a jinxed experience. Children are weak and impressionable, they will believe every single thing you say to them without a second thought because what else are they supposed to believe? All though a child may not know it, their childlike wonders and dreams only exist to be broken down so that they can properly blossom into what we consider an adult. No clue why I'm getting philosophical right now but i am and i refuse to keep it in my head

[arkhammaid]

— ˚₊‧⁺˖ TATTOOED!JING YUAN

fandom. honkai star rail

pairings. jing yuan x gn!reader

content warnings. sfw & nsfw, MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI, headcanons, jing yuan has many tattoos and that's hot, written in lowercase, not edited/proofread

word count. 0.5k

notes. blame @j1ngyuans for this idea,,,

tattooed!jing yuan who has been decorating his skin for years, slowly adding artworks upon artworks, colors swirling together while stretching over his muscles. he has a white lion on his back, framed with flowers and leaves and on his shoulders sit the prettiest songbirds. 

tattooed!jing yuan also has weapons on his skin, red and black swirling across his arms. there are no flowers, only a collection of blades, enhancing the scars he owns. they’re detailed, swords and spears, even an arrow— beautiful and deadly, just like him. 

tattooed!jing yuan who has an elaborate tattoo of an old tree on his thigh, leaves inked green spanning over his hips, while the trunk is left black, the roots crawling down to his knee. it’s detailed, just like the rest of the art on his skin. 

tattooed!jing yuan hid all of this behind his uniform, never baring his skin to anyone. each of his tattoos is deeply personal, only his closest friends know how he’s not only marked by scars but also art that’s frowned upon.

tattooed!jing yuan baring his skin first time to a stranger just as he bares his heart— to you. you enter his life like a storm, leave him breathless with your innocent eyes and wide smile. when he shoulders his uniform for the first time, the dim lights illuminate the art on his skin. it leaves you speechless, trembling hands tracing the ink, while he encourages you to touch firmer, to touch more. 

tattooed!jing yuan who has marks on his skin, left behind by hours of work, ink and scars proudly enhancing his beauty. he has marks on his skin and now he gains more, with how you cling onto him, nails digging and dragging. it hurts, it hurts oh so deliciously but he doesn’t care. not when you’re here, beneath him, completely entranced by both his beauty and what he does to you. 

tattooed!jing yuan is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, the ever dutiful and pure general now suddenly a sinner himself, mouth filthy and skin marked, all while he devours you. and you let him, falling apart while he works you open, all slick and ready for him, legs spread and arms around his neck. you pull him closer, pull his hair, drag your nails down his back, anything for him to give you more, more of his attention, his praise, his love. 

tattooed!jing yuan is a beauty to behold, hidden behind duty and high collars, but for you, for you he’s much more. skin inked and marked, the lines dancing beneath the flickering light while he only sees you— no tattoos or scars on your skin, only his own marks, his lips leaving trails and shapes behind. 

tattooed!jing yuan looks like a devil with that sly smirk of his, hair tousled by your gripping hands, his tongue doing both heavenly and evil things to you. that tongue and those lips, whispering praise while the rhythm of his hips leave you stuttering, sucking on your feverish skin when you beg for more— he’s a beauty, a devil and an angel, ready to devour you and wear the marks you leave behind with pride. 

taglist. @themercyverse , @lem-hhn , @stellumi , @auraxins 

DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE TAGLIST? please send a non-anon ask to be added to the taglist. taglist can be general taglist (all fandoms and all works), fandom taglist (all works within the fandom), series (all works for specific series) or nsfw taglist (all nsfw works and all fandoms).

ARKHAM MAID 2023