#Bisexual Milhouse

[smibberz]

when your male and female crushes start dating each other

[gaywriterthings]

honestly just realized i have actually never posted a single one of my pieces of Simpsons fanart here. and i gotta start doing that cus it's my current hyperfixation and i've got a LOTTTTT of fanart lol.

so where better to start than my favorite secondary character! i'm currently working on a fic series focused on bart that's set post-canon, and that means deciding on college majors for him, lisa, and milhouse. im still in the planning stage, so i hadn't given much thought to milhouse, until @golden--doodler CAME UP WITH THE MOST PERFECT FUTURE FOR HIM

and that's him becoming a therapist for children! he's had a therapist in the show that absolutely fucking hated him, and got mad at him for venting or asking for help when it was HER JOB to listen to him vent and give him the help he was asking for. him growing up to work with children and getting them the help they need that he was never able to get when he was a kid himself just seems so in-character, so perfect.

SO I HAD TO DRAW IT LMAO AND I WANT TO DO MORE. THANK YOU AGAIN GOLDEN!

[jellybeanium124]

I'm just saying, Lisa Simpson probably grows up and marries some girl she meets in grad school.

LITERALLY!! EXACTLY!!! she's canonically bisexual and there's no way she's ending up with a loser like milhouse or nelson.

[pigeonqueen13]

Some Simpsons Headcannons:

Bart is Pansexual.

Milhouse is Bisexual

Lisa is also Bi

Nelson’s Straight

[lisa-simpson-real]

look okay milhouse and I did date briefly in middle school but it was so embarassing. Milhouse is pathetic. and the idea that I would date him nowadays is nuts. also the Nelson thing just has no basis in reality. I reject all of your ships. I may be bisexual but ultimately my taste in men is WAY more particular than my taste in women

[mogai-headcanons]

Martin Prince from The Simpsons is a GNC polyamorous bisexual genderfluid person who uses she/her, she/him, and he/him pronouns, and she has a crush on both Bart Simpson, a queer nonbinary boy who uses he/him and punk/punks pronouns, and punks best friend Milhouse Van Houten, who is pansexual and genderless! Martin struggles with her gender due to stereotypes that are pushed onto her, but with the help of her friends, she’s learning to love and embrace her gender nonconformity!

[axon-dendrites]

I made some more pride icons!

[confusedguytoo]

no, the futures that showed her with a woman end with her married to Milhouse.  She’s either bisexual or in college she thought she might have been

[simpsonsaestheticboards]

A Bisexual Milhouse aesthetic for anon!! Enjoy!!

[deehollowaywrites]

I’m used to being the odd one out. As a kid, I was the only member of a fairly peculiar religion in my public schools. As an adult, I’m the family Gay Cousin (well, bisexual, but what can you do). As a kid, I was the Weird Horse Girl who bought unicorn posters at the Scholastic book fair. As an adult, I’m the Weird Horse Girl who suddenly decided to follow Thoroughbred racing.

Let me tell you: even the rest of the Weird Horse Girls look a little askance at someone who comes to the racetrack by themselves and isn’t there to bet.

Tampa Bay Downs is a friendly track. Located in Oldsmar, it’s just big enough to host two Kentucky Derby prep races. Here are the things for which I consider it notable: being the location of Julie Krone’s first mount and first win, and including a creditable Cubano on the deli menu. It’s simultaneously easy and very difficult to be anonymous at a racetrack. On TBD’s biggest day, Festival Day, around 10,000 people converge on the apron--and just because you don’t know any of them, just because you drove in from Tampa Heights with your straw hat riding shotgun, doesn’t mean you get to float through unnoticed.

My first experience at any racetrack was an anonymous Friday of spring racing in March 2016; being a natural Milhouse, I missed Festival Day by a weekend. All living Thoroughbreds can trace their heritage to one of three Western Asian stallions, I said confidently whenever anyone at TBD spoke to me. That’s true, said the bartender, but did you want Beefeater or Hendricks in your Tom Collins?

Diana’s Rules for Racetrack Newbs:

Do not go to the racetrack for the first time armed only with Marguerite Henry and Jim Squires. The former will blow the whistle on your Weird Horse Girl status, while the latter has probably given you Wrong Opinions about Lasix.*

Do not assume anyone around you is interested in the private mental landscapes and rich internal lives of jockeys, unless Edgar Prado has let them down that day.**

Do not take it for granted that fellow horse enthusiasts will naturally understand you know who Secretariat is.

Do not make eye contact with any of the men yelling at the greyhound simulcast.

Do wear sunscreen.***

What’s a mostly sober, formerly Mormon and therefore not prone to gambling, totally solo girl to do at a racetrack, anyway? No matter. If you are of Weird Horse Girl stock, reality adjusts itself slightly once you have a racing daily in hand. If you’ve never seen the thing you’ve read so much about, the sight of white breeches and bay coats seems fake. Surely, you think, they’re shooting a season of that terrible, defunct HBO show here. Surely these tiny men are actors. Surely there is not several thousand dollars’ worth of animal standing three feet away from me. Surely that is not Jose Ortiz holding his whip with his teeth, God forbid, someone lead me to a fainting couch.

All of these things are true.

It can be lonely, unexpectedly exploding into fervor for a thing, and a niche thing at that. It can be uncertain when your point of entrance isn’t the most obvious and known thing about the sport. It can be impossible, no explanation for ‘why Thoroughbreds?’ when you aren’t an owner, a trainer, a rider, a breeder, a player--when there is nothing in your family history that suggests a latent streak of madness. A hayseed is a bumpkin, a rube, a simple and unsophisticated fellow. I’m an urbanite, and I’ve never been on a farm for longer than half an hour, and I have no claim to the nuts and bolts of Thoroughbreds, much less a storied family lineage or any degree of real access. 

If you don’t bet, said the man in the grandstand next to me, why are you here?

Love of the sport. 

Love of the sport? Love of the sport. I don’t care about sports. When have I cared about a sport? But racing is less a sport than an enterprise, a microculture with all the hallmarks of culture--jargon, art, convoluted timelines and complicated relationships, accepted realities, externally bizarre social norms. My education thus far has been one of wide eyes and startled muttering over each Blood-Horse headline more ludicrous than the last (horses testing positive for Viagra! Arrogate’s Dubai World Cup win!), and in this regard, I fear, I will be ever innocent: wrapped in a bubble of factoids and late-developing opinions, wandering between paddock fence and grandstand, handicapping for the hell of it and rarely placing a bet, an unexpected by-blow the industry neither needs nor particularly wants.

Why Thoroughbreds? Because they rake the track between races, and a crew of seagulls toddle along in the tractor’s wake as though supervising the details. Because horses, natch. Because racetracks facilitate one of my favorite human experiences: to be alone but not lonely.

Today’s hunch bet: Bug Juice, #4 in race 4 at Parx. Who can resist a Disney Channel name reference?

*a working knowledge of the Jim Squires Catalogue will also allow you to respond when the guy next to you at the rail says idly, What kind of name is Annamonarchos? However, it is in your best interest to not respond at all.

**seriously, that lady was displeased. Leave racing’s Solemn Dad alone!

**always wear sunscreen. What are you doing? Rub that shit in, big white streaks aren’t effective. Can’t be getting cancerous out here, we gotta outlive Frank Stronach.

[lgbtqneurospringfield]

does the mod have any headcanons of their own?

sure i do! ned flanders is a nonbinary bisexual man!! bart and milhouse are both bisexual and autistic and they share krusty as a special interest!!! lisa is also autistic and her special interest is jazz and she is bigender!!! i have a lot more too but i love going into detail so i will make separate posts as i go on!!

[mogai-headcanons]

martin from the simpsons is a polyamorous bisexual gnc genderfluid person who uses she/her, she/him, and he/him pronouns! she has a crush on both bart, who is a queer nonbinary boy that uses he/him and punk/punks pronouns, and punks best friend milhouse, who is pansexual and genderless! martin struggles with her gender due to stereotypes being pushed onto her, but with the help of her friends, shes learning to love and embrace her gender nonconformity <3

queued!!

[gaystby]

That Simpsons couch opening that everybody loves where Lisa marries Milhouse and she looks unhappy in her wedding dress, and her bisexuality is just like, college experimentation.... #unimpressed, snore 😴😴😴😴, miss me with that straight shit, etc.

[smibberz]

[simpsonsaestheticboards]

May I have a Bisexual Milhouse aesthetic?

Of course!! Done and posted!! ^_^