#Best Moot Squad

[vs-redemption]

I head canon these boys are totally help you make brownies for at 2am. I mean you get up because you’re craving brownies… but since they can’t stay asleep without you they eventually get up to see what you’re up to.

Osamu, Atsumu, Mattsun(these 3 will be sleepy flirty get you all flustered and rile up)

Soft Sunday Headcanons: Night Time Snack Gang

with: Osaumu, Atsumu, Mattsun

I feel like Osamu would be the first one getting up to go after you. He already knows what you're up to and he happily offers to take over. He'll make the brownies for you and you can watch. He'd be extra too, making you some hot tea or something to go with the brownies.

Atsumu might be the one to suggest getting up to make some brownies first. It's like you two read each other's minds. Every time it's just a coin toss to see which of you suggests sneaking down into the kitchen first. There's lots of giggling and smiles while you two cater to your sweet tooth.

Mattsun is pulled out of a dead sleep by the sweet smell of chocolate. At first he thinks you're crazy and teases you a bit. But when you offer him one of the hot gooey brownies right out of the oven, suddenly he's a lot more supportive.

[vespersposts]

So. In a way a lot of my inspiration to do things is sparked by something being wrong or missing, which is a bit ironic because in the end my fuel for art has always been joy

Dearest Eve,

thank you so much for you extended reply that will inspire me forever. I mean, we are getting our inspos fro different places and I've never evaluated the point of art coming through something that you feel in missing int he arc, narrative or character, so I thank you so much for this lesson that im sure it'll be more than useful to me.

Following you from a short time, I need to catch up on some example fics you pointend out (Thank you so much) cause i think that i have a lot to learn and your POV simply blew my mind, I strongly agree that

"Because the power of example is way more effective than telling someone what to do"

but the point of human nature on me is real only in theory (by now). I really thank you for aswering to a tricky request in this way that to me is a great source of growing as author but also as observer.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart,

Vesper.

Hi Eve! Hope it's a good day! I'm curious to know about your art process, where does inspiration come from for you? Lots of love 😘, V.

Wow, that's a big question. Short answer is everywhere but obviously that doesn't really say anything. This is hard for me to describe, so thank you for asking such a challenging question. A key feature in inspiration for me is that there's something I need to exist that doesn't exist. Before I start my fan art and fan fiction, a new project especially, I typically have gone through a lot of other people's art, not finding what I'm looking for, and eventually ending up with the conclusion that I have to do it myself. Like, I would be happy just consuming if what I wanted existed in the world. Maybe it's not quite so clear cut, but I think it's heightened on the fandom side of things for me. Yes, in my original work my initial inspiration is similar but I think on that side I would still have the need to create for fun even if I didn't think I HAD TO bring something specific that was missing, to existence.

So, when an existing story and characters are my inspiration it's things that come together in my head from various threads that are sort of just hanging or floating there in the original material that I see no one drawing together, and I get a little frustrated typically, because I realise these things are not going to come together and then I NEED to draw those threads together, because otherwise it won't happen, and I need it to happen. So, it's things like "Why isn't anyone writing this character in these situations?" "Why isn't anyone paying attention to this underlying pattern?" "Why haven't I seen this joke made before it's literally on a silver platter, why does everyone pass by it?" "Why is this character so underappreciated?" "Why isn't anyone talking about the similarities between this series and that literary work or a fairytale?" So, a lot of times it's that I see missed opportunities.

That's not nearly enough for me to actually draw or write something though, because my projects are just usually big because my brain is like that somehow, so they really have to be worth my time for me to start what I know will eventually be huge. And I think that happens when the things that I see mentioned above tie into a bigger context, a bigger theme that I think is important in the world and that it should be talked about more. Of course sometimes I just have fun and giggles within those projects but it's rare for me to start unless there's something in it that I feel is meaningful thematically and psychologically. Basically something that has the potential to heighten people's self awareness and understanding of the world, and the feeling of community. I know this is so abstract and broad but I can't really help thinking these things. It's not like I'm fantasizing about having a big impact necessarily, it's more like awareness of these things just affects my small choices in art and life.

So, um, I'm trying to give examples to bring this a bit more to the ground level.

In my She-Ra comics one big theme was Adora's abuse because it wasn't on the screen the way Catra's was (for a good reason, I mean that's the point), and I felt like some people were missing how important part of the original story that was, so I felt like making the effects of it visible in a way that a children's show obviously couldn't have.

In KnB a lot of my inspiration is things like... "Tadatoshi is unknowingly representing something he doesn't understand at all so he's writing accidental minority characters and then he's using those qualities for barely more than running gags, while so much more could be done with these things and this representation could actually make a difference in someone's life if the angle was shifted ever so slightly".

Obviously I already love these stories, I am a fan of them and I think they are doing so many things right, and that's why when I see something missing or I see fandom interpreting things in a way that I think is mischaracterising something, or even toxic, I just feel like I need to do something.

In my original work the process is similar, just less specific in a way. It's a bit broader. Like, I feel like something is missing in the fantasy genre, or some relationship trope is too toxic and overpowering, or detective novels are the antithesis of everything they stand upon, or "not interpreting this fairytale in this way in this time and age is so tone-deaf". Ideas like that come to my head, so then I have to do something about it.

So. In a way a lot of my inspiration to do things is sparked by something being wrong or missing, which is a bit ironic because in the end my fuel for art has always been joy. I can't really do things out of pain like some artists can, for me it's always happiness that keeps me going because really I see no point without it. I suppose that's why my art is also all about growth, even though it deals with heavy topics, the point of it is always overcoming your obstacles and becoming a better and happier version of yourself.

I guess I could conclude with how I have this love and hope for the human nature, and I easily see the best version someone could be, mentally. I see them loving themself and seeing their own good qualities and treating others with respect and opening up to other people, and inviting the world in. I always have hope because I see that so clearly in everyone, in a specific way that is all about who they are as a person, so it's like... I wish that if I could write characters that people love, in a way that demonstrates that hope, and growth, someone who is struggling could be inspired by those characters. That those characters could help them see the way out of their misery and also call people out when they are treating others or themselves badly. Because the power of example is way more effective than telling someone what to do, because the individual has the freedom and responsibility of interpretation when it comes to examples. And really, I believe that's how it should be because we can't influence anyone who doesn't want to be influenced, no matter the good intentions.

That's... my inspiration, in (not so) short? In the end I'm just a naive idealist with a need to butt in, but with the added benefit of an adult's self-awareness and complexity of thought, haha. And I'm aware I'm a weird, reluctantly obsessive fan artist, because really I want to focus on my original stuff and I want to be able to live by my pen and be an "original" artist, but I can never give up fandom because that's where I feel my specific skill set is utilized to its peak. Because my art process is so source based, that obviously the more specific, the more well defined the source is, the stronger the impact of the things I can bring out of it is too, because I know how to use the reader's expectations and viewpoints way more specifically than I can know them in a broader landscape, such as a whole genre I might be writing my original fiction in.

And this is why things like Sherlock Holmes becoming public domain is like a lottery win for me! That's a very specific but also huge and incredibly complex and popular source that inspires me right now!

Thank you again for the ask, and I hope my answer wasn't too overwhelming.

[faceglitchsworld]

Jang Yunho and his beautiful love relationship with fluffy hair: an (not so serious) essay~

Author's note: this post is biased. Very biased. Don't except some objective opinion here. I'll mention some other idols as examples here and there but ONLY as examples, please don't be mad if I'll mention them. Some of the analysis are inspired by Michaela Diana, a wonderful artist on Instagram who makes stylisation studies. Without her works probably the post would have never come out. Oh, uhm, I decided to not use fantaken photos for this analysis, only photos taken from Kingdom's official accounts or the concept photos. I don't know you but I would've feel like a thief if I used them.

This post is dedicated to @seohotonin and her love for Arthur

Hi everyone, today I'm finally talking about one of my favourite haircut/looks ever made: the perm hair, also known as "The Floof" from me. And we're not talking about The Floof in general, no, no, today I'll try to demonstrate how this kind of haircut has a beautiful love relationship with Jang Yunho aka Arthur from Kingdom.

Look at him. He's cute right? And you want to touch his hair so badly, right? Good, because that's how The Floof is supposed to work (for me). You really want to rub those hair and making even more curls by doing it.

You get it, I love this haircut sooo much. BUT, even if I have a bias towards this haircut, it doesn't mean that it's suitable to everyone. I think everyone agree on this, the perfect haircut is the haircut which fits our face shape perfectly.

And Arthur has what it's the perfect face shape for The Floof and the curls and I'll explain you why.

Another random pic because you need to admire him with the curls, I know you want to love his pretty face with this haircut in particular, I know it.

Now, I could easily use as an argument the fact that he resembles a squirrel and end the post. Because, well, according to my bias list, every time one of my biases has the squirrel or the hamster as his animal, there's an high percentage that they'll look cool or beautiful with the curls or the fluffy hair.

But no, that would be too much simple, we need to go more deeper than this.

What if I tell you that Arthur has what I call The Floof face? :3

According to my own personal theory, The Floof works perfectly if you have some features that shines the most thanks to this haircut in particular. I'll show you a couple of examples by showing you two other artists who shine a lot when they have curly hair/perm hair/The Floof.

My dear readers, I present to you...

* drums roll *

THEM

Every time I need to push my The Floof agenda Han Jisung from Stray Kids and CyA from Onewe are the first ones who comes into my mind. I mean look at them, they're perfect.

And you wonder why? Well, if you zoom on these photo in particular you'll notice how both Han and CyA have a soft face shape in general (no sharp jawline as you can see). They have full cheeks, which become even more full when they stuff their mouth with food (Han in particular when he eats a lot becomes an adorable squirrel with his full cheeks). Their face shape is oval/heart shaped, which is the best shape for The Floof, even tho I must say that there are some exceptions (Taehyun from TxT has a rectangular shape foremost but he looks beautiful with curly hair for example). The eyes' shape also play a major role for The Floof. If you noticed, CyA has round eyes while Han has monolid eyes which are the best shape for this kind of haircut (the upturned eyes work too).

Ok, enough with the explanation LET'S CHECK ARTHUR NOW.

Mmmh, let's see...

Soft face shape? Yup, the jawline isn't so sharp.

Full cheeks? Yes, there are.

Oval/Heart shaped shape? Idk you, but I can see an oval shape here.

Monolid/Round eyes? Yup, the eyes are monolid for sure.

Conclusion: Arthur has the perfect face shape for The Floof, let's celebrate everyone!

But wait, do you think I'll end everything like this? Oh no, no, we can't end the post like this, we need to see which kind of colour and haircut is suitable for Arthur :D

Let's start with the era where he shines the most and he had the first Floof: the Excalibur Era.

Ok so, even tho I love him with this kind of long hair in my opinion the hairstyler should have cut the bangs a little. Not too much, just a little. I know that this haircut suited him, especially if we talk about the MV's storyline but...well, maybe with shorter bangs he would have look beautiful. I don't like seeing his eyes covered by the bangs but it's my pet peeve, probably other people likes it regardless.

BUUUT when he has short hair...oh boy, I get blessing everytime when he has curls and his hair are short like, just see him here 🥴

Sorry for the Ivan here but it's my post and I need to put some other biases (also Ivan he's pretty here...bby) 🥴

He with short curly hair is perfect, believe me when I say this. I'll give you some other pics of him to prove my point.

Now probably you're asking which kind of colour is perfect for him (except well the normal ones such as blonde, brown etc.). Well, let's say that, for what I saw, bright colours such as blue electric work perfectly for him BUT, there's only one colour that should be erased.

Lime.

Like no.

Especially if it's bright.

No.

Remember when "The History of Kingdom Part V. Louis" concept photos came out? Especially the Portrait version? Ok, remember which kind of colours Arthur had there?

Believe me when I say that when I saw the picture I was just repeating into my mind: "Look how they massacred my boy."

Like no, please, he looked like an highlighter 😭

But the double colour works perfectly for him. If one day he'll go full Oreo I'll be very happy.

And that's it, this is the end. I don't know if you'll agree with me or not but probably you finally know that I love Arthur with The Floof. And the The Floof has a beautiful love relationship with him.

Should he stay with perm hair for like forever?

Yes

[fatecantstopme]

The Connection

Pairing: Elliot Stabler x reader

Summary: Elliot Stabler is your best friend and has been for years. When he and Kathy get divorced, you let yourself wonder what it would be like to be with him...despite your current relationship status. Elliot's jealously will either bring you together or tear you apart.

Warnings: Divorce. Panic Attack. Gun shot wounds. Mentions of death. Hospital. Cursing. Use of pet names. SMUT, oral (M & F receiving), face sitting, unprotected sex (P in V)

It had been eight months since Elliot and Kathy had divorced. Eight months Elliot had spent alone, trying to figure out what the hell to do next. Eight months of trying to find the words to say and eight months of failing to.

The first couple months after Elliot's divorce, you thought about telling him how you felt--how you'd felt for years. You'd be lying if you said you hadn't thought about it every single day since the moment he told you they were getting divorced.

Your fear of losing your best friend was what stopped you from ever admitting your feelings. You couldn't bear to face that possibility. You’d rather have him as just your friend than nothing at all.

But everything changed for you when you met a handsome stranger just outside your favorite coffee shop on your way to work. Tony, as you would later learn, was an emergency room doctor at Mercy Hospital. He had just recently moved to the city after finishing his residency at a hospital in Chicago.

Before long, you and Tony were inseparable. He was kind, charming, and funny--and he treated you better than any man ever had. You were content, happy even, despite the little voice in the back of your mind. The voice that reminded you of how much you loved Elliot--how much you needed him.

That voice was always strongest when you were together, which meant you started to pull away from him--spending more time with Tony and less with Elliot. Even though the two of you worked together and saw each other nearly every day, you tended to stay in your office and avoid too much actual contact with him if you could.

You felt badly about the distance you'd created, but you didn't know what else to do. If Elliot felt the same way, he'd never even hinted at it, let alone expressed it, so you felt the point was moot. Why put yourself through the pain of rejection if you didn't have to? Plus, you had Tony now. Focusing on your relationship with him had to be your priority.

Elliot was no fool. He watched you pull away from him after you met Tony—and he thought he knew why. He couldn’t stand to hear you talk about him—didn’t want to imagine you with someone else. Someone other than him. He had no right to feel that way and he knew it, but there are just some things you can’t control.

You’d been with Tony for 6 months when Elliot finally reached his breaking point. The two of you, along with Olivia, Munch, and Fin, were in the squad room after a particularly stressful case. You were chatting with Olivia about her latest beau and she inquired about Tony. You told her you had been canceling dinner plans with him for the last week due to your case load, but you were planning on seeing him tonight.

“He’s perfect for you, (Y/N),” Olivia said with a smile. “You always light up when you talk about him.”

You offered her a small smile in return. “He really is amazing.” You leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially. “I think he’s been shopping for rings.”

Olivia’s eyes widened. “How long’s it been?”

“6 months,” you answered.

“Damn. That’s fast.” She shrugged, “but if you know, then you know.”

You opened your mouth to tell her that you didn’t know, but Elliot beat you to it. “Jesus, (Y/L/N), I didn’t expect you to just marry the first guy who jumped in your bed. When did you turn into such a needy slut?”

Your face paled and you stepped back as if he’d slapped you. He knew you well enough to know exactly what to say to hurt you and he didn’t pull his punches.

“What the hell, Elliot?” Olivia snapped.

Elliot avoided making eye contact with you—immediately regretting his outburst. He wasn’t one to apologize, and to be honest, he wasn’t very good at it, but he felt the strong urge to beg for your forgiveness.

“I shouldn’t've—“ he started.

“Leave it,” you cut in. “Whatever it is you were about to say, just don’t.” You grabbed your coat and your bag before turning back in his direction. “I’m going to dinner with a man who treats me with respect and genuinely cares about me. I would think you of all people would be happy for me.” You paused. “I know you're tired and stressed, but you don't have the right to take it out on me. I'm your friend, Elliot, although given what you just said to me, I'm not even sure about that."

With that, you walked out the door, never slowing or sparing a glance behind you.

Elliot felt terrible in more ways than one as he watched you leave. He could feel the gazes of his friends, but he couldn’t bear to look at them. “I’m going home,” he mumbled.

“Yeah, maybe you should get some sleep before you insult anyone else,” Fin said none too gently.

In any other situation, Elliot would have clapped back, but the fact that he'd just hurt you like that made him keep his mouth shut. He threw on his coat and stormed out of the precinct before anyone else could speak.

The entire way home, Elliot was fuming. He was mad at himself, mad at Tony, but most of all he was mad at you. Mad that you found someone who fit you so perfectly. Mad that you wanted someone else. Mad that you were happy. God help him--he felt terrible for it--hated himself, even. What kind of person felt this way about their best friend? Wasn't he supposed to be your number one supporter? Your biggest champion?

He was filled with regret as he entered his small apartment. It was mostly empty and completely devoid of personality. He had pictures of his kids, but not much else.

There was, however, one particularly special picture in the living room. He walked over to it and picked up the frame, his heart clenching as he stared at it. It was a picture of you and him on a random Saturday. He'd dragged you to the park for an early morning run, which he knew you hated. You'd gotten your revenge by pushing him into a pond beside the running path.

After you'd stopped laughing, you tried to help him out of the water, but he pulled you in with him, leaving you both soaking wet and laughing hysterically. When you made it back to dry land, you'd dragged him close and snapped a picture of the two of you--muddy, wet, and laughing.

The picture really showcased your personality--light, bubbly, happy, and just a bit goofy. It was his favorite picture and one of his favorite moments with you...it was the moment he realized he loved you. A feeling he'd never expressed, even though he'd felt it long before he and Kathy solidified their divorce.

It was almost two years later and he still hadn't told you how he felt. And now that he was a free man--and had been for a while--you'd found the man of your dreams. He'd managed to blow his chance to be with you and now it was too late.

The picture suddenly became blurry and he sat it back down on the table before wiping his eyes. He wasn't good with emotions and he was thankful no one was there to witness this particular display.

He tried to push all thoughts of you from his mind as he wandered around his kitchen, scrounging up something to eat. He tried not to picture you at dinner with Tony. He tried not to imagine what you would do after dinner. He tried not to think about anything at all...but no matter what he did, you plagued his mind from the moment you'd walked out the door. He decided to go out to a bar and get himself a drink or two. It was Friday after all and he'd had a long week. Why not blow off some steam?

You weren't in the best of moods when you met Tony for dinner that night. Elliot's words echoed in your ears and the feeling of hurt had yet to dissipate. He'd never lashed out at you like that before. Not once. You'd heard him do it to other people, especially when he was angry or frustrated--but he'd never done it to you. You weren't sure what it meant now that he had, but you were certain it wasn't good.

Tony picked up on your mood immediately and he was obviously concerned. He'd asked if you were alright, if you wanted to reschedule...but you'd told him it had just been a long week and not to worry.

"You seem distracted, (Y/N)," Tony commented gently. "Are you sure you're okay?"

You looked up from the food you'd been playing with on your plate and sighed. "Sorry, Tony. I've got a lot on my mind."

He nodded. You could tell he wanted to probe deeper, but he wisely opted to back off. He started to chatter about some new resident at the hospital, complaining about how green the kid was, and your mind began to drift.

You knew you should have been paying attention, but you really couldn't find the energy to--or perhaps desire was the better word. All you could think about was Elliot. When had everything gone so wrong? How did it all become so fucked up? Why did you care so much? He clearly didn't.

A single tear slid down your cheek and dropped onto your plate, surprising you out of your thoughts. You hadn't realized you'd been crying until that moment. You quickly wiped your eyes, hoping Tony wouldn't notice. When you glanced up at him, you knew he'd seen and you could tell he wanted to know what the hell was going on.

The problem was, you weren't even sure what was happening. Why did you feel so damn sad? As you stared at Tony, you realized there was only one person you wanted to talk to about it...and it wasn't the man in front of you. You were hurting and you only wanted the man who'd hurt you. How fucked up was that?

"Seriously, babe, what's going on?" Tony asked gently, concern lacing his voice.

You shook your head. "I don't really wanna talk about it."

"Okay...I wouldn't normally push, but you were literally just crying into your pasta."

"I'm aware, Anthony," you said rather harshly.

He winced slightly and you sighed sadly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to snap," you said softly.

"It's okay."

There was something about the placating tone of his voice that just set you off. "No it's not! None of this is okay! I'm not okay!"

He was clearly taken aback by the intensity of your outburst and you found yourself feeling incredibly embarrassed...and perhaps a bit annoyed.

"I just--I just wanna go home," you mumbled.

"Okay," he said gently. "Why don't you go wait in the car. I'll pay the bill."

He handed you the keys and you practically ran out of the restaurant. You couldn't explain what you were feeling--it was like you were suffocating, like the very air you were breathing was toxic. Your heart was pounding out of your chest and everything just felt wrong. Your vision started to darken and you felt like you were being crushed...you fell to your knees on the sidewalk, body shaking as you started to hyperventilate.

Moments later, Tony came rushing out and dropped to his knees beside you. You could hear him asking you what was wrong, but you couldn't answer him. You hadn't recognized the signs at first, but somewhere inside you, you knew you were having a panic attack. You couldn't explain why and you certainly couldn't tell him what was happening.

You heard Tony say something about an ambulance, but your brain was too foggy to comprehend what was happening. You'd had panic attacks all your life, but this one felt different--it came on even more suddenly and it was more intense than any attack you'd ever had before. Something about it felt final...deadly.

You heard the sounds of sirens in the distance, and at first you thought they were headed for you, but they never seemed to move any closer. Your vision was almost black, your head was pounding, and you felt as if your body was full of lead--you knew you were moments away from passing out. The last thing you heard was the ringing of a cellphone in close proximity to you. Just as you realized the phone was yours, you succumbed to the blackness of unconsciousness.

A couple blocks away, an ambulance and several police officers were responding to a call for shots fired at a local bar. According to the call, one man was dead, one was critically injured, and four more were wounded.

Witnesses said a man had opened fire inside the bar after an argument had escalated. After the first few shots rang out, another man had gotten up from his seat, pulled out his gun, and identified himself as police. The first gunman pulled the trigger twice, shooting the police officer twice in the chest. As he was falling to the ground, he pulled his own trigger, killing the gunman almost instantly with a shot directly to the heart.

The officer laid on the ground, blood seeping from his wounds, terror gripping his body. His only thought was of his family, and how he would never get to see them again.

He could hear voices all around him, but he couldn't make out what they were saying. His eyes were glazed and unfocused, and he was beginning to feel cold. He knew what that meant, even if he didn't want to admit it.

He heard the scream of sirens followed by the sound of footsteps near him. He heard a man's voice ask a question, but he didn't hear the response.

He heard snippets of what was said, "Gun," "argument," "scared,"...but the one that caught his attention was "Benson." He didn't understand why someone had said his partner's name and he tried to ask, but his voice came out as nothing but incoherent sounds.

The sound of more sirens neared and he began to drift towards sleep or death...he wasn't sure which one. His eyes had closed and his body felt heavy as he took what he feared would be his last few breaths.

"Detective Benson," Olivia answered on the second ring.

"Hi, Detective. This is Officer Bailey."

"Hey, Bailey. You got a case for me?"

"Not exactly, ma'am..." he paused. "It's your partner. Detective Stabler?"

Olivia felt her blood go cold. "What about him?"

"He was involved in an incident at O'Malley's Bar on 5th," Bailey said slowly. "Bar fight turned deadly. Apparently, Detective Stabler shot the gunman."

She inhaled sharply. "Is he alright?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line that told Olivia everything she needed to know. "How bad is it?" she asked softly.

"It's bad, detective. They're taking him to Mercy Hospital. You should probably go there."

Olivia's first thought was of Elliot's kids--she needed to call them when she had more information. She didn't want to scare them if she didn't need to. "Thanks for the call. I'm heading over there now."

She hung up, grabbed her keys and her coat, then ran out the door. She intended to drive with lights and sirens to get there--policy be damned.

When she got to the first floor of her apartment building, it suddenly hit her that she should call you. Even after his comments earlier that day, Elliot was still your best friend. You'd want to know if something happened to him and you'd be beyond pissed if Olivia didn't tell you right away.

She called your phone several times as she drove to the hospital, each time leaving a voicemail begging you to call her back.

She was thankful she lived so close to the hospital and she made it there in record time. She pulled up to the emergency room entrance just as an ambulance pulled up to the front doors.

Olivia quickly got out of her car and jogged towards the entrance, but she stepped aside as EMS rushed someone through the doors. Olivia's face paled as she got a good look at the person on the gurney--you.

She ran in after them, practically running right into Tony as he came in. Olivia recognized him immediately. "What the hell happened?" she asked in a rush.

Tony looked over at her in surprise, as if he was just realizing she was there. A look of recognition crossed his face, but it was quickly replaced with confusion. "She, uh--I don't know. She collapsed outside the restaurant." He eyed her carefully. "What are you doing here?"

"Elliot was involved in some sort of altercation at a bar. They brought him here, so I came down to figure out what the hell happened."

Tony looked shocked. "When?"

"About 15 minutes ago."

Tony's face paled. "That's right about when (Y/N) collapsed..."

Olivia's eyes widened. "What are the odds of that?"

He shook his head. "I'm gonna say extremely unlikely."

She sighed and shook her head too. "I need to check in with the front desk and see what they know."

The ladies at the front desk informed Olivia that Elliot had received two GSWs to the chest and was currently in surgery. They promised to keep her updated and let her know if anything changed. She also asked them to keep her updated on your status as well. It didn't seem likely that the two incidents were connected, but she had to admit it was really damn weird.

Olivia joined Tony in the waiting room and made several phone calls to Elliot's kids and the rest of her team. She wanted to make sure they all knew what was going on. The kids were out of town with Kathy, but Fin, Munch, and Cragen all promised to come down to the hospital immediately.

When they arrived, the five of them sat in the waiting room in silence. None of them knew what to say.

About an hour after the others had arrived, a nurse came into the waiting room. "(Y/L/N)?" she called.

Tony looked up at the sound of your name. He jumped out of his seat and walked towards the nurse. "Is she okay?" he asked urgently.

The nurse nodded. "She's awake and asking for someone named Elliot."

Olivia made eye contact with Fin, who was sitting across from her. He shared her knowing glance before they both looked in Tony's direction.

"Oh, um...I'm her boyfriend. Would I be able to see her?"

The nurse nodded again. "Sure, Dr. Cooper. She's in 103."

Tony immediately headed towards your room without waiting for the nurse to follow. Olivia got up and walked over to the nurse before she could walk away. "Excuse me," she called.

The nurse turned back to her. "Yes?"

"You said (Y/N) was asking for Elliot?"

She nodded. "You know him?"

Olivia nodded her affirmation. "He's my partner. He was brought in about 2 hours ago for GSWs to the chest. I believe he's in surgery right now."

The nurse paled. "Dr. (Y/L/N) didn't have any noticeable injuries. Was she there when he was shot?"

Olivia shook her head. "She was a couple blocks away. We're not sure what happened to her."

"The doctor said it was probably an intense panic attack, based on the symptoms Dr. (Y/L/N) described."

Olivia was a little surprised, but she didn't say it. "Thank you."

The nurse nodded and headed back into the patient area. Olivia returned to her coworkers and shared the information she'd just received.

"A panic attack?" Fin asked in surprise.

Olivia nodded. "That's what the nurse said."

"At the same time Elliot got shot?" Munch asked.

"Roughly, yeah." Olivia confirmed.

"What the hell are the odds of that?" Cragen asked.

"I'd say a million to one," Munch answered.

"At least she's gonna be okay," Fin said softly.

They all nodded their agreement. No one wanted to mention their fears about Elliot's survival...they just had to hope he would pull through.

You'd been surprised to find yourself in the hospital when you awoke, but you quickly realized the intensity of your panic attack must have literally knocked you out. Tony wouldn't have known what was happening, so of course he called 911.

You checked your phone as soon as you woke up and discovered you had several missed calls and messages from Olivia. You listened to the most recent one and felt the blood drain from your face.

"(Y/N), please answer your phone! I'm getting worried. Elliot's been in some sort of altercation and it's bad. I don't know what's going on, but I'm on my way to the hospital. Please call me." Olivia's voice sounded panicked, so you knew it must be really bad.

You pressed your call button and the moment a nurse walked into the room you asked for Elliot. The nurse told you she didn't know who that was, but she said she'd go out to the waiting room to see.

Much to your dismay, the person who walked into your room 5 minutes later, was Tony. You felt terrible for feeling that way, but not seeing Elliot standing in your doorway confirmed your worst fears.

"Elliot?" you whispered, the meaning of your question very clear.

Tony sighed as he came to the side of your bed. "He's in surgery," he said gently.

Your skin was already pale, but you turned white as a sheet upon hearing those words. "What happened?"

"He was shot twice in the chest. Some guy shot several people during a bar fight and Elliot stopped him."

"How bad is it?" You didn't really wanna ask, but Tony was an ER doctor after all...he would know and he wouldn't lie to you.

His expression was sad. "It's bad, (Y/N/N)," he said honestly. "It's really bad."

You couldn't stop the tears from sliding down your cheeks. You didn't want to ask more questions--didn't really wanna know--but you needed to. "What are the odds?"

Tony shook his head, not wanting to upset you further.

"Anthony, please," you begged.

He sighed. "He might not make it through surgery, but even if he does, the chances of survival are slim. He lost a lot of blood and there was internal damage from the bullets."

You closed your eyes and took a shuddering breath. "Where's Olivia?" you whispered.

"She's out in the waiting room. Want me to get her?"

"Please," you said so softly he barely heard you.

A few minutes later, Tony reappeared in the doorway with a distraught Olivia. She pushed past him and into your room, quickly crossing the short distance to your bedside. Tony backed out of the room and out of sight.

"How are you feeling?" she asked worriedly.

"I'm fine," you answered. "I don't understand how this could happen."

Olivia knew what you meant, but she didn't have a good answer for you. Elliot didn't frequent bars alone, nor was he the type to get into any kind of bar fight. But honestly, what really bothered her was the timing of your panic attack. "Why did you have a panic attack?"

You looked at her in surprise. "I--I don't really know. It just came on suddenly."

"Right when Elliot was in trouble? That just seems...odd."

"I can't explain it. I was outside waiting for Tony to pay the bill and it hit me. I was on my knees, unable to breathe, in mere seconds."

"You know I'm not a superstitious person and I don't really believe in any of that mystical stuff, but if I did...I'd say you felt something happen to him and that's why you had the attack."

You wouldn't classify yourself as some kind of mystic either, but you were a psychologist. You'd spent years studying the human mind, and nothing about it made complete sense. The brain is the most complex part of human anatomy...so complex, in fact, that we may never fully understand it.

"I suppose it's possible," you began slowly. "We know there are examples of minds being connected in inexplicable ways, the best example being that of twins. Twins claim to be able to sense each other and understand each other in ways the rest of us could never really understand. Twins a 1,000 miles away from each other claim to know the exact moment their twin died. Some people claim to have similar bonds with siblings and significant others. So while it seems unlikely, it is entirely plausible that such a connection could be formed between two people."

"If anyone was to have a connection like that, it would be you and Elliot."

"What makes you say that?"

Olivia gave you a knowing look, one you'd seen on her face countless times before...just never directed at you. "I might not be a profiler, (Y/N), but I'm not an idiot. It doesn't take a good detective to know that the bond between you and Elliot is different--special."

"He's my best friend," you conceded, although you knew that was not what she meant.

"This goes way beyond friendship," she said simply.

She didn't elaborate and you didn't need her to. Some part of you knew she was right, or at least suspected it. But if her idea of this connection was accurate--and your interpretation of the meaning was accurate--then didn't that imply your feelings were not one-sided?

You weren't sure if you were ready to admit it, but this revelation changed everything for you. In that moment, you decided if Elliot survived this, you would tell him how you feel...consequences be damned.

**********

Two weeks went by without much change or improvement in Elliot's status. He'd made it through surgery, but he'd been in a coma ever since. The doctors weren't quite sure why...there didn't appear to be a medical cause.

You visited Elliot every single day, sometimes spending hours at his bedside talking to him. If there was even the slightest chance he could hear you, it was worth it.

That first night in the hospital had changed a lot of things for you, and it made you realize you couldn't keep pretending anymore. You broke things off with Tony, unable to lead him on any longer. He was surprisingly understanding about it, despite the obvious hurt.

The rest of the squad would stop by periodically to check in on Elliot and to see how you were holding up. You'd come back to work right away, but you'd made yourself as scarce as possible. You weren't ready to face the possibility that Elliot may never wake up, even if your coworkers were.

It was week three of Elliot's coma when you were called to testify in court for an SVU case. It wasn't a case you wanted to relive, but you'd played a vital roll in identifying the offender and your testimony was crucial.

You'd testified for a day and a half before you were finally released from court. Having done your duty, you pulled out your phone to check your messages. You were surprised to see several missed calls--all from Olivia.

Your heart clenched in your chest and terror froze your body in place. You weren't sure you wanted to listen to the message she'd left...you wanted to live in this moment just a while longer. In this moment, in this world, Elliot was still alive, but if you listened to that voicemail, that world might shatter.

You forced your body to move, making your way to a more secluded part of the courthouse before taking a deep breath and pressing 'play' on the voicemail.

"I know you're in court, but I wanted to make sure you heard this as soon as you finished up. We're all at the hospital--Elliot's awake!"

You didn't listen to the rest of the message--nothing else mattered. All you heard was "Elliot's awake!" and you were already running towards the exit. You ran at top speed all the way out of the building and to your car, pushing past anyone who got in the way.

When you reached your car, you jumped in the driver's seat and took off, ignoring almost every single traffic law in existence. All that mattered was getting to the hospital--all that mattered was Elliot.

After parking your car, you raced into the hospital and into the elevator, angrily pressing the button for the 3rd floor repeatedly. When the doors finally opened to the ICU, you sprinted from the elevator and down the hall towards Elliot's room.

You were breathless when you reached the doorway of his room, but you didn't care. Olivia, Munch, Fin, and Cragen all stood around the bed and they turned towards the door when they heard you.

You barely noticed any of them. Your focus was entirely on the man sitting up in bed, his bright blue eyes locked on yours. "Elliot," you breathed softly.

Every single person in that room felt the air shift when you entered. It didn't take a trained investigator to recognize the tension in the air. You didn't move from the doorway and your gaze didn't leave Elliot's face.

"Why don't we give you guys a moment alone?" Cragen suggested as he started to back out towards the door.

The other three followed their captain, Olivia shutting the door as she exited the room.

"Hey," Elliot murmured once the two of you were alone.

"Hi," you said softly, voice catching slightly as your emotions washed over you.

"Come here," he coaxed.

You crossed the room, stopping when you reached the side of his bed.

The two of you stared at each other in silence, emotions threatening to overwhelm both of you. It felt like everything inside you bubbled up all at once and you gasped, "I'm sorry."

Elliot spoke his apology at the exact same time. "I'm sorry."

You both let out a breathy laugh, some of the tension easing from your bodies.

"What do you have to be sorry for?" Elliot asked.

"I shouldn't have ever questioned our friendship. It was cruel."

He shook his head. "If anyone was cruel, it was me. Frankly, I deserved way worse than what you said. I didn't mean a word of it, (Y/N), not a single word."

"I know--" you began.

"Let me finish," he cut in insistently. You fell silent, allowing him to continue. "I shouldn't have called you a slut. I shouldn't have judged your relationship--it wasn't my place. I was upset and I took it out on you...it wasn't fair and I'm sorry. You deserve better."

"I appreciate that," you said quietly. "But why did you say it? You're never cruel to me...ever."

The pain in your voice nearly broke his heart in two. "I was mad at you," he mumbled. "It's stupid and it doesn't matter 'cause you're with Tony anyway and you're happy and I should be happy toorightbecauseyou'remybestfriend--"

You grabbed his arm to bring his attention back to you and cut off his ramble. "You can breathe now," you teased you lightly.

He chuckled. "Sorry."

"Don't be. I think it's cute when you ramble like that."

He rolled his eyes. "Great. I'm cute."

You grinned. "Very cute," you said in a teasing tone. As you looked at him, your smile slipped and a sad expression slid into place. "I thought I was going to lose you," you whispered.

He grabbed your hand and squeezed it tightly. "I'm harder to get rid of than that."

Tears filled your eyes, despite your attempt to smile. "What happened, Elliot?"

"They didn't tell you?"

"I know the official story, but I wanna hear it from you."

"I needed to blow off some steam, so I went to the bar for a couple drinks. Some guy got into an argument, pulled out a gun, and started shooting...so I shot back."

Your eyes fluttered closed. "You could have been killed."

"But I wasn't."

"But you could have been!" you said loudly. "Why the hell did you go to that bar alone? Why didn't you just stay home? You could have called someone to go with you! You could of--"

"(Y/N)," Elliot cut in gently. "I'm okay."

You realized you'd been rambling and you inhaled deeply to catch your breath. "I was so scared," you whispered. "When I woke up and Olivia told me what had happened...it felt like my world was falling apart. All I wanted was to see you, but you were still in surgery. Even when you finally made it to recovery, they wouldn't let me see you because they wanted to keep me for observation overnight."

"Wait, what? Who wanted to keep you for observation?" he asked, confused.

"The hospital," you answered. "I got here about 5 minutes after you."

"What?" His eyes scanned over your body, checking for wounds or signs of injuries. "Why? What happened? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," you assured him gently. "It was just a panic attack."

He looked even more confused. "A panic attack?"

"It was intense," you admitted. "I passed out and Tony called 911. I didn't know what happened to you until I woke up in the hospital and listened to my voicemails from Olivia."

"I thought you usually knew when a panic attack was coming on."

"This one was weird. It hit me suddenly and literally brought me to my knees." You paused. "Anyway, I'm fine. How are you feeling?"

"Sore," Elliot admitted. "My chest feels like an elephant is sitting on it."

"Do you need pain meds? I can get the nurse--" you turned to call for the nurse, but he grabbed your arm to stop you.

"No, please--don't go."

You turned back to him. "I'm not going anywhere, but if you're in pain, the nurse can help."

He shook his head. "The meds make me sleep. I don't wanna sleep."

"Alright, but if the pain becomes unbearable, please tell me."

"I will," he promised. "I just want to talk to you for a while longer."

You smiled. "I can't say no to that."

For the next several minutes, you helped Elliot get caught up on everything that had happened in the last three weeks, leaving out a few key things about changes in your life until the end.

"I, uhh--I broke up with Tony," you mumbled quickly.

Elliot's eyes widened and you swore his face lit up before he tried to hide it. "Oh? I'm sorry, (Y/N/N). I know you really liked him."

You shrugged. "He's a good man and he'll make a great husband for someone, just not me."

"So...why'd you break up with him?"

"He deserved to be with someone who loved him the way he loved me and I knew I'd never be able to."

"Why not?" Fuck subtlety, he thought to himself.

You laughed breathily. "Good lord you're full of questions."

"That's not an answer."

You shot him a look of annoyance, but he knew you weren't actually upset. You were clearly trying to decide how to answer his question...and how much information you really wanted to give him.

"You can't love more than one person at the same time. At least not fully."

He raised his eyebrows. "Who do you love?"

"Elliot," you groaned softly. "Why does it matter?"

"I want to know." I need to know.

You sighed heavily. "How long have we known each other?"

He was clearly confused by your question, but he answered it anyway. "Eight years?"

You nodded. "And you were married for most of it, right?"

"As far as I'm aware, yes," he said in boorish tone.

"Six years, Elliot. Six whole years of my life," you said softly.

"What do you mean?"

You bit your lip and stared at the blanket covering his chest, unable to look at his face as you answered his question. "That's how long I've loved you," you whispered.

He'd waited two very long years to hear you say those words, but he'd never actually imagined you would ever say them. He was so stunned by your admission that he found himself rendered mute.

The seconds ticked by and you started to feel incredibly foolish and embarrassed. "Please say something," you begged.

He realized he'd been silent for too long and he rushed to say the words that had lived in his heart for so long. "I don't really know when I fell in love with you, (Y/N), but I'll never forget the moment I realized I loved you, and I don't think I'll ever be able to stop loving you."

Your jaw nearly hit the floor as your eyes shot up to meet his. You'd never dreamed he'd feel the same...at least not until three weeks ago. Perhaps Olivia was right after all--perhaps you really were connected in a deeper way. "El..."

"You don't have to say anything," he whispered.

"I love you," you said simply.

His chest ached from more than just the gun shot wounds. "I love you too."

You let out an awkward chuckle. "So what do we do now?"

"Right now?" he asked. "Well right now, you're going to kiss me because I can't really move."

You laughed warmly before leaning in and placing a soft kiss to his warm lips. The moment your lips connected, it just felt right. Everything about him felt right.

"As much as I'd love to kiss you until one or both of us passes out from lack of oxygen, I think I might need those painkillers instead," he said softly, finally letting the pain creep into his voice.

You nearly smacked him. "How long have you been in this much pain?"

"Doesn't matter. This was more than worth it."

You glared at him, but the glare quickly softened to an affectionate expression of concern. "I'll get the nurse."

You returned moments later with the nurse in tow. She gave Elliot a shot of morphine to dull his pain. It didn't take long for him to drift back off to sleep.

You settled into a chair beside his bed, content to stay beside him for as long as the hospital staff would let you.

**********

Four days later, Elliot was finally released from the hospital. You insisted he come to your place because there was absolutely no way you were going to let him be alone yet. Much to your surprise, he didn't argue, if anything he seemed glad for your insistence.

"At least I don't have to give you a tour," you said with a smile as you held the door open for Elliot.

"I've only been here 100 times," he teased.

You closed the door behind him and watched as he moved slowly towards the couch. You knew he was still in pain, though he likely wouldn't admit it.

"Do you need anything?" you asked tentatively as he sunk down onto the couch with a muffled groan.

"Nah, I'm fine."

You knew better than to argue with him. "How 'bout we order Chinese for an early dinner? I don't really feel like cooking."

"God, yes. That sounds amazing."

"Hospital food that bad?" you teased.

"Worse."

You laughed and went to the kitchen to grab the number for your favorite take out place. You ordered enough food to feed a small army before settling onto the couch beside Elliot.

"Okay, so here's the options: we can watch TV, we can sit in silence and awkwardly stare at the wall, or we can talk."

"I vote for the awkward staring."

You laughed. "TV it is."

You turned the TV on, but nothing seemed particularly interesting. Eventually you settled on some mindless drama.

You pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it across your lap. "Do you need one?"

"I'm good."

A few quiet moments went by before Elliot cleared his throat. You looked over at him, but he didn't say anything. You turned back to face the TV, but he started shifting beside you, as if he was restless.

"El?"

"Hmm?"

"What's wrong? Are you in pain?"

He shook his head. "Not really. It's just--well it's just that you're kinda far away."

You raised an eyebrow as you regarded him. "I don't wanna hurt you."

"Well, I wanna hold you and I don't really give a damn if it hurts me."

You offered him a small smile. "I'll be gentle."

You moved closer to him and laid your head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close, wincing slightly as he shifted. Once you'd both gotten comfortable, your focus went back to the TV.

About 20 minutes later, the buzzer for the door went off and you jumped up to answer it. You let the delivery guy in the main doors and waited for him to reach your apartment.

"Do you always let the delivery guy in?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah."

"It's not safe, (Y/N)."

A knock at your door alerted you to the presence of your dinner. You opened the door, took the food, and paid before shutting the door behind him.

"I've never had any issues," you commented.

"We know plenty of people who have," Elliot said softly.

You glanced over at him and sighed. "El, I've been living alone for most of my adult life. I'm painfully aware of the dangers of being a single female in this city, and I'm always careful."

He nodded, but he didn't look like he really wanted to let it drop.

You walked back into the living room and started laying out the takeout boxes on the coffee table. "Dinner is served."

He inhaled deeply. "Damn that smells good."

"Thank you. I slaved away in the kitchen for hours to make it for you."

He laughed warmly. You saw the look of pain cross his face, the laughter clearly aggravating his wounds.

"At least take a couple Tylenol," you begged.

He sighed. "Will it make you feel better?"

"Yes."

"Fine. I'll take a couple."

The two of you had managed to eat a large portion of the food you'd ordered and you'd gotten Elliot to take some pain medication. All in all, you felt very successful.

The two of you were curled up on the couch watching a movie. Your head was in Elliot's lap, a blanket covering your body, and his arm draped across your torso.

At some point, his hand began to play with your hair and gently trace meaningless designs against your skin. The motion relaxed you and you sighed contentedly. Your eyes drifted closed and you knew you should get up go to bed, but you were simply too warm and comfortable to get up.

Next thing you knew, Elliot was gently shaking you awake. "Sweetheart? It's late. You should go to bed."

You let out a little groan. "But I'm so warm."

He chuckled. "You'll be nice and warm in your bed too. Come on," he coaxed.

You grumbled softly as you sat up. You dragged your weary body off the couch and started to walk back towards your bedroom. When you realized Elliot wasn't following you, you turned around. "Coming?"

"Oh, I--uh...I can sleep on the couch, ummm--if you want."

"We're adults, Elliot. We can share a bed."

"Thank god," he said as he slowly made his way towards you. "Your couch isn't comfortable to sleep on."

"Hey! You've never complained before."

"That's because sleeping in your bed was never an option before."

"I suppose you have a point."

He followed you into your room and chuckled softly as you crawled directly into bed, not even bothering to change into your pajamas. He walked to the other side of the bed and stood there for a moment, clearly unsure of what to do.

"You okay?" you asked.

"I, uhh, I normally wear a lot less clothing when I sleep."

"Oh," you mumbled with a blush. "Umm, you can get comfortable. I don't mind."

"I'll keep some stuff on for modesty," he teased lightly. "I just gotta lose the sweatpants or I'm gonna sweat to death in the middle of the night."

You laughed. "We wouldn't want that."

He quickly shed his pants before crawling into the bed beside you. "Shit," he said with a sigh. "You've been holding out on me."

"Huh?"

"This bed is 1,000 times more comfortable than the couch."

You laughed and very lightly smacked his arm. "You're the worst. You're lucky I let you share in this great comfort."

He grinned. "I feel very lucky. I'd even go so far as to say I feel honored."

You blushed. "Oh hush. Go to sleep, you dork. I'll see you in the morning."

You turned off the bedside lamp and settled back into the bed.

"Goodnight, (Y/N)."

"Goodnight, Elliot."

**********

For the next couple weeks, Elliot was on desk duty at work, which meant he had much more time to spend with you. On slow days, he would come sit in your office and chat with you for hours until someone (usually Cragen or Olivia) came looking for him.

Even though he was more than capable of living alone again, Elliot was still crashing at your house. You'd insisted at first, but it had become a comfortable routine that neither of you were quite ready to break.

The rest of the squad started to notice the change in your relationship too. Elliot was much more affectionate towards you, both physically and verbally. He'd use terms of endearment as often as possible and he was always within arms' reach of you.

The shift in dynamics really became obvious when you and Elliot continued to arrive together to work in the morning after the doctors had cleared him for duty.

"Okay, I'm tired of dancing around this shit," Fin spoke up when you and Elliot walked in the door together.

"Dancing around what?" Olivia asked.

"That," he responded, pointing at you two.

"What about us?" Elliot asked.

"Are you still living with (Y/N)?"

"Yeah," he answered with a shrug.

"So are you dating?" Fin probed.

Elliot shrugged off his jacket and plopped down in his desk chair. "Yeah."

Three surprised voices started peppering you with questions. "Since when?" "Why didn't you tell us?" "How long has this been going on?"

"Guys!" you yelled as you threw up your hands. You were surprised that Elliot had admitted to the relationship so freely. You hadn't discussed keeping it a secret or anything like that, but you also hadn't discussed if and when you were going to tell everyone. "Can you at least wait until I put my bag down before you verbally assault me?"

The questions and comments continued, but were now aimed at Elliot as you made a beeline to your office to drop off your bag and coat.

Before you could make it back to the squad room, there was a gentle knock on the doorframe. "Got a second?"

You turned around at the sound of Cragen's voice. "Sure," you answered as you leaned back against your desk. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, I may have overheard the commotion in the squad room when you and Elliot got in."

"Oh."

"Were you planning on telling me?"

"Honestly, sir, we hadn't discussed it. We didn't even really discuss our relationship...it just sort of happened."

"Near-death experiences will do that to you."

You nodded. "It was rather eye-opening for both of us, I think."

"Not as much for the rest of us."

"What do you mean?"

Cragen smiled. "It doesn't take a good detective to see how much the two of you care about each other, even long before Elliot got shot."

You blushed. "I tried not to be obvious."

"I make it a point to know my people, (Y/N), and I pay attention."

"I hope our relationship isn't going to be an issue, sir."

He shook his head. "I'm not worried about the two of you one bit. You've always been professional and I don't think admitting you love each other out loud will change that."

"I appreciate that, sir. I know Elliot will too."

Cragen just offered you a simple smile before making his way back towards the squad room. You followed slowly behind him, allowing yourself time to steel yourself for the onslaught of questions.

Much to your surprise, the conversation had shifted to other topics, namely Munch's permanent bachelor status and Olivia's terrible choices in men.

You leaned against Elliot's desk and he looked up to smile at you.

"I see they've moved on."

"I put them in their place," he said with a smirk.

"Do I wanna know what that means?"

"Probably not."

You laughed. "You're probably right."

Elliot's next thought was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. He answered it, listened for a few moments, then said "We'll be there in 15," before hanging up. "Liv, we've got a vic over at Bellevue."

She sighed and grabbed her coat. Elliot followed suit, but he paused to kiss you softly before following her out the door. "I'll see you later. Love you."

You smiled. "Love you too. Be safe."

"Always," he said with a wink.

You watched him walk out the door and you felt a pang in your chest. You'd always worried about him--about all of them--every time they went out on a call, but it felt different now. Knowing he loved you as much as you loved him made it so much harder to watch him leave knowing he might never come back.

Thankfully, he did come back, though he was not in a pleasant mood. He was snapping at every person who crossed his path and anyone who dared look at him sideways.

"It was the dad, Olivia," he was yelling when you came into the squad room. "I'm sure of it."

"Okay, Elliot, but we don't have any proof!" she yelled back.

"Hey," you cut in. "What's going on."

"Little girl is in the ICU because she'd been beaten pratically to death. The doctor said there was also evidence of prolonged sexual abuse," Elliot answered.

"That's terrible."

"Yeah, what's worse is the father did it," he said angrily.

"What proof do you have?" you asked.

"God, not you too."

"El, we can't just assume it's the father without some sort of evidence."

"My instincts and years of experience not enough for you?"

"It might be enough for me, but it's not enough for a court of law," you countered.

You could see the rage in his eyes and you knew exactly what he was thinking. You knew the statistics as well as anyone, so you knew it was likely that the child had been raped by a close family member. As a father himself, Elliot hated when a father was the cause of such trauma to a child. That hatred fulled his anger, which led to poor decision making.

"Why don't I talk to the father?" you suggested.

"I'm bringing him in tomorrow morning. I want first dibs," Elliot insisted.

"I think it's best if I talk to him first," you said gently, but firmly.

"Why?"

You sighed, not really wanting to answer him. "Because I'm not sure you can be objective, Elliot."

As you suspected, that only fueled his anger more. "Of course I can be objective! I'm objective! Why do you think--"

"You're angry," you said, cutting him off.

He paused. "Of course I'm angry!"

"I may not have children, but I understand where your anger is coming from, Elliot. The difference is you let your emotions guide you--you imagine yourself in that person's shoes and it fuels your rage." You sighed deeply. "For what it's worth, I trust your judgment. If you think he's guilty, I'm inclined to agree, but I want to talk to him first."

Your words seemed to calm him down. He hated seeing a child hurt, especially one that had been hurt repeatedly. He knew you were right--he was emotional and that tended to cloud his judgment. You, on the other hand, knew how to remain calm and rational, which tended to get you better results.

"You're right. You should interview him."

At that moment, Cragen stepped out of his office. "Emily Riley just passed away. The parents are on their way down to the station now."

"What happened?" Elliot asked.

"She threw a clot to her brain. It was likely caused by the beating she took."

"Why are the parents coming down here?" you asked.

"Mrs. Riley attacked Mr. Riley. She was screaming something about him doing this to Emily. Uniformed officers are bringing them down."

You turned to look at Elliot, who had a slightly surprised look on his face. "I think that means you were right, El."

"Maybe, just once, I'd like to be wrong."

When the Rileys arrived down at the station, Fin and Munch took Mrs. Riley to an interview room, while you took Mr. Riley to another room. Olivia joined you at your request, while Elliot and Cragen watched from the other side of the glass.

It didn't take you very long to get a full confession from Mr. Riley. He admitted to sexually assaulting his daughter for several years. It took a little longer for him to admit to beating her, but eventually he did. He told you and Olivia that he had to kill Emily because she threatened to tell her mother about what he'd done to her for years.

Once he admitted that, Elliot stormed into the room and yelled at him--screaming that he was a pervert and a monster. "You'll get the needle for this...and I'll be right there watching."

Elliot put handcuffs on him and took him to booking, with Olivia trailing behind. You met Cragen outside the interrogation room and he told you you'd done a good job.

"Honestly, I'd rather never have to do an interview like that again."

"But you're good at it, (Y/N)."

"Doesn't mean I like it."

"I don't think any of us really like it."

You offered him a sad smile before walking away, heading to your office to sit down and have a nice cry.

About 30 minutes later, Elliot found you in your office, eyes red from crying.

"Doll?" he asked. "You okay?"

You nodded. "I'm fine. I just...I hate doing those."

He came around the side of your desk and pulled you into him. "I know, baby. I don't like them either."

"That poor little girl. She never had a chance."

He squeezed you tighter. "At least he's going to prison for the rest of his life...thanks to you."

You looked up at him. "I can't take all the credit. Olivia was there too."

"You're the one who won him over. You got him to admit to everything he'd ever done to his daughter."

"At least this is done. I just wanna go home."

"Me too," he said as he stood up. "Get your coat and let's get out of here."

"I want a hot bath," you grumbled.

He chuckled lightly. "Hot bath, a glass of wine, and a good night's sleep next to your very handsome boyfriend, should do the trick."

You rolled your eyes as you threw on your jacket. "I'm taking you up on that."

"It's a guarantee," he said with a wink.

**********

It had been two months since Elliot had been shot. Two of the best months you'd had in a long time. Elliot felt the same. He loved spending time with you and just being around you made him feel so at peace. Just sitting next to you on the couch while you watched a movie made him happy. It was all the little moments that warmed his heart.

Tonight was special. It was the anniversary of the day Elliot realized he was in love with you. To you, it was an ordinary Tuesday, but to him, it was one of the most important days of his life.

He'd made dinner reservations for your favorite restaurant for that evening, but he wouldn't tell you anything else he was planning.

"Why tonight? What's the occasion?" you'd asked him that morning.

"Because I love you and I want to show you just how much," he'd answered.

You didn't believe there wasn't more to it, but you let the matter drop. By the time 5pm rolled around, you'd almost forgotten about your plans for that evening.

"Come on, babe, we gotta go," Elliot said as he popped his head into your office.

"Just let me finish this--"

"We've got reservations at 6:30, sweetheart."

You looked at your watch. "It's only 5:15."

"We have to get home and change first."

"Where are we going that I can't wear this?"

"It's a surprise! Now come on."

You laughed and gathered your belongings before following him out the door.

When you arrived home, you found that Elliot had already picked out exactly what both of you would be wearing that evening. He'd selected a beautiful dress for you and a well-tailored suit for himself.

Thirty minutes later, he was dragging you out the door, insisting he didn't want to be late.

When Elliot pulled up in front of the restaurant, your face lit up in surprise. "Elliot, you hate this place," you insisted.

He shrugged. "But it's your favorite."

"El..."

"Come on, beautiful." He hopped out of the car and quickly came around to your side to help you out. He dropped his keys in the valet's outstretched hand before guiding you to the door.

"You never do valet. You always say it's a waste of money," you whispered.

"Tonight is a special occasion," he countered. "Besides, you're worth it."

You blushed heavily as he held the door open for you and followed you inside. "Is that why you took me to one of the most expensive restaurants in Manhattan?" you murmured quietly.

"Mhmm," he hummed.

"Am I missing something here? What's the special occasion?"

Before he could respond, you were met by the maitre d'. "Good evening. Do you have a reservation?"

"Yes. Two for Stabler."

The man smiled at the two of you. "Right this way sir, ma'am."

You followed him to a nice secluded table in the far corner of the restaurant. It gave Elliot an excellent view of the entrance and it suited your preference for a quiet table.

A bottle of wine was immediately brought to your table and two cups poured. It was, of course, your favorite wine.

"Seriously, El...what's with all the fanciness?"

You chuckled. "Can't I treat my girl just because I want to?"

"You can, but I know you. You don't like fancy things."

"But you do."

"Sometimes," you conceited. "Especially when it comes to food."

He grinned. "You have very high expectations as it relates to food."

"You're not wrong."

A server seemed to appear out of nowhere to take your orders. You hadn't even begun to look at the menu, but you didn't need to. You knew exactly what you wanted. After the server left, you turned your attention back to Elliot.

"Are you going to tell me what's so special about today?"

He looked you in the eyes and for some reason, his expression made you feel emotional. "Two years ago today, I realized I was in love with you. This is the first time I've actually had the opportunity to celebrate that love."

Tears welled in your eyes and you gently fanned your face with your hand. "Come on, (Y/N), don't cry in public," you said lightly to yourself.

Elliot laughed warmly and reached across the table to take your hand. The man wasn't big into romantic gestures, but he'd made an effort for you and that meant everything to you.

"This is the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me."

"You need to meet better people then," he said with a smile.

"It wouldn't have the same meaning coming from someone else."

It was his turn to blush. "You deserve to know how much you mean to me. I want to make sure you never forget it."

"I love you, Elliot," you said softly.

"Not as much as I love you."

The evening was extremely beautiful. Delicious food, incredible company...who could ask for a better night?

When you made it back home, you immediately slipped off your shoes and dropped onto the bed. "Who invented heels and can I kill them?" you grumbled.

Elliot laughed as he tugged off his tie. "I'm 80% certain murder is illegal. Besides, they make your ass look incredible."

You laughed. "You're not wrong, but only 80%?" You sat up and watched him as he continued to remove his shirt. Your eyes followed his hands as he unbuttoned his shirt--mouth watering slightly at the teasing bit of his form you could see.

Ordinarily you'd be embarrassed by how blatantly you were staring, but it had been a long time since you'd felt the touch of a man and your body suddenly lit up.

Elliot was still chattering on about something until he looked in your direction and fell silent. The look on your face was hungry--possessive even--and it sent a shock wave of desire through his body.

"Baby?" he asked tentatively.

"Come here," you responded, voice low and husky.

Even if he'd been blind and deaf, he still would have been able to feel the desire oozing from every pore in your body. It wrapped around him, enveloping every part of him, pulling him towards you.

He stopped at the edge of the bed, eyes slowly tracing over your body, waiting for you to give him permission to touch you.

"Help me up," you purred.

He grabbed your hands and pulled you to your feet. "Turn around," he said softly.

You did as he asked, exposing the zipper of your dress to him. You felt his fingers slide slowly up your spine before grasping the zipper and pulling it down at an agonizingly slow pace to just above the curve of your butt.

His lips brushed against the exposed skin of your shoulder as he began to remove your dress. He could feel your heart racing, the blood pumping through your arteries as he kissed your neck.

You gasped softly as his teeth grazed your pulse point, sending shivers through your body. His hands pushed your dress the rest of the way down, letting it pool at your feet.

You felt his hands caress you, sliding around your midsection and pulling you back against him. The way he touched you only made you want him more--the slow pace he'd set driving you crazy.

As if he sensed your need for more, his left hand began to slowly glide up your torso towards your breasts. He slid his hand across one breast and then the other, giving each one a gentle squeeze as he did so.

Your body was flush against his and you could feel his arousal pressing into your back. The lack of skin-to-skin contact was making you desperate. You needed to feel him--all of him.

You turned your head to look up at his face, but you were surprised by his heavy-lidded expression. You'd never seen him look like that and it did something to you.

Your lips parted slightly as you gazed at him and he found it impossible to resist. He leaned down to press his lips against yours, earning a soft sigh from you. You turned around so your chest was pressed against his, and your arms wound around his neck.

His shirt was already unbuttoned, so all you had to do was push it back off his shoulders and let him tug it the rest of the way off. You then let your hands wander under the hem of his undershirt, palms flattening against his taunt abs.

He knew what you wanted, so he pulled back just long enough to pull his shirt off over his head. He leaned back in to kiss you, but you pulled back slightly, hand pressed against his chest to keep him in place.

He would have been hurt by the motion if he'd missed the look on your face. Instead, he felt his chest swell with pride as you eyed him like he was the god, Adonis.

"See something you like?" he teased.

Your eyes flicked up to meet his. "I see a whole lot I like."

He grinned and pulled you back in for another searing kiss. You swore that every time he touched you, it was like your body was on fire--each touch increasing the intensity of the burning. But it wasn't painful...it was an incredible feeling and you wanted more.

Elliot's hands made their way to your back, and he deftly unclasped your bra with practiced hands. You let the bra slide down your arms, exposing your breasts to his hungry eyes.

He cupped them, lifting them to his mouth as he lowered his head to taste your skin. You let out a moan of pleasure as he nipped and sucked, paying each breast and each nipple its dues.

Your fingers began to claw at his belt, desperately trying to free him from the confines of his pants. Elliot chuckled softly at both your desperation and your frustration at not being able to undo his belt.

He pulled back and nodded his head towards the bed. "Lie down, baby."

You did as he asked, eyes never leaving him. He quickly undid his belt and unbuttoned his pants. He was slow to remove them, clearly enjoying the tortured expression on your face.

Your breathing was labored, despite the fact that you weren't doing a damn thing. You could feel your arousal pooling in your panties and you knew you were seconds away from completely losing it.

"How 'bout I just remove these too while I'm at it?" Elliot asked as he tugged his boxer shorts down his legs. When he stood up straight, you got your first view of his erection and you felt your pussy clench as a little gasp escaped your mouth.

He was thick and long--larger than you were used to, but not so big that it scared you. Your mouth watered slightly, the mere thought of feeling his weight on your tongue a massive turn on.

You quickly pulled yourself off the bed, cutting off Elliot's question before he could even speak as you dropped to your knees in front of him.

His eyes widened slightly as he gazed down at you. You looked up at him with a doe-eyed expression that nearly buckled his knees. He watched as you tentatively placed your hands on his thighs, eyes flicking up to his, checking to make sure it was okay.

He reached out and ran his fingers through your hair, letting you know he was comfortable. You licked your lips as your hands moved up his thighs, nails gently scratching the skin.

Elliot's breathing was already heavy and he knew he was going to have a hard time controlling his orgasm. It had been a long time for him too, after all.

You gripped his cock in your dominant hand, leaning towards him to take him into your mouth. You took as much of him as you could without gagging, eyes never leaving his face.

"Fuck," he whispered as he looked down at you.

The single curse word sounded like praise to you, so you ran with it. You wasted no time--you set a quick, intense pace, and he was loving it.

His fingers were tangled in your hair and a string of moans, heavy pants, and curses slipped from his mouth. He watched you as much as he could, but his head would roll back involuntarily as he reacted to the pleasure.

"You're doing so well, baby--feels amazing."

You moaned softly around his cock in response. The vibrations mixed with the warm, wet heaven of your mouth nearly made him cum. You felt the way his body tensed and knew he was close, so you sped up your movements, paying special attention to his sensitive head.

Elliot had been determined not to cum yet, but he was struggling to hold himself back. It just felt so damn good. "Baby, I--I'm close."

You were well aware and you wanted to taste him so badly--so you did the only logical thing...you looked up at him as you sucked, eyes filled with desire.

Within seconds, Elliot filled your throat with his cum--orgasm slamming into him like a freight train. As he started to come down from his high, he realized his grip on your hair was way too tight and he let go of you instantly.

"Sorry, baby. Did I hurt you?" he asked breathlessly.

You smiled up at him and licked your lips, making sure to get the last of his cum into your mouth. "Not at all, El. I loved every minute of it."

He relaxed and let out a relieved sigh. "Well so did I...you were phenomenal, (Y/N/N)."

He helped you up and pulled you against him so he could kiss you--not giving a damn that he could taste himself on your tongue.

"Can you lie down for me, baby? I'd like to repay the favor."

"You don't have to," you assured him as you settled onto the bed.

He looked at you in confusion. "You say it like it's some sort of chore."

You shrugged. "Not all men reciprocate."

"What kind of heathens have you been dating?"

You laughed. "Well...none of them were you."

"See, there's your problem," he teased.

He climbed onto the bed with you, hovering over your body, eyes scanning your face as if he was memorizing it.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are?" he murmured.

"Once or twice," you said, cheeks blushing slightly.

"Hmm," he hummed. "I've gotta tell you more often. No one compares."

Now your cheeks flushed a deep crimson. "Elliot..."

He suddenly sat up. "You know what, babe? I've got a much better idea." He flopped down onto his back. "Sit on my face."

"Say what?"

He turned his head to look at you. "Sit on my face," he said again.

"I...umm. That sounds dangerous."

He cocked an eyebrow. "It's not dangerous, it's sexy as hell."

You sat up and turned to face him. "Are you sure? I mean...couldn't I smother you?"

He laughed. "Absolutely not." His expression sobered suddenly. "Are you telling me no guy has ever asked you to sit on their face?"

You shook your head, embarrassment creeping into your face.

He sat back up and reached for you. "We don't have to do anything you don't want, but I promise you it's worth it--for both of us."

"Are you sure?" you asked again.

"I'm absolutely positive, babe."

He looked and sounded so confident--and to be honest, you'd always wanted to try it--so you nodded your agreement.

You quickly pulled your panties off before climbing on top of him. You straddled his chest--a slightly worried expression on your face.

"I promise you, you're not gonna hurt me," he reassured you. "Besides, I'm strong enough to throw you off me if I had to."

His tone was light and teasing, which made you feel better. Plus, you knew it was true--he really could throw you around if he wanted to.

You took a deep breath and moved your body so your pussy was directly over his face. You lowered yourself slightly, but you didn't actually sit on him.

He sighed in annoyance. "Did I ask you to hover over my face, baby?"

"No," you mumbled.

"What did I ask?"

"You asked me to sit."

"Mhmm...so sit."

You lowered yourself a little more, but you didn't put your full weight on him. You didn't think he would notice, but you were completely wrong.

He wrapped his arms around your thighs and tugged you down so you were completely flush against him. He made the happiest noise you'd ever heard before diving into the delicious feast above him.

You nearly jumped off of him as he began to eat you out--the sensations so intense, it startled you. But holy fucking shit did it feel incredible.

The sounds coming from your mouth were loud enough to wake your neighbors. You grasped the headboard for support as you moaned and begged and chanted his name like a prayer.

All-the-while, Elliot was expertly attacking your pussy, sending wave after wave of unimaginable pleasure through your body. He groaned into you as he feasted, your cries of pleasure spurring him on.

He felt your nails rake against his scalp and your thighs began to shake. He tightened his grip on you as he continued his ministrations.

"Elliot--fuck," you gasped. "I'm so close."

"I know," he said into your pussy, knowing full well you couldn't hear him. He sped up his assault on your clit and seconds later your orgasm washed over you--screams of his name echoing in the small room.

He continued lapping up the mess you'd made, arms still wound tightly around your legs, keeping you against his mouth.

You started to squirm, but he didn't let go. "El--sensitive."

After a couple more licks, he finally released you and you practically fell off of him and onto the bed. Your legs shivered as aftershocks worked their way through your body.

Elliot was happily licking his lips as he watched you, expression smug. You looked almost delirious with pleasure and it brought him great pride.

"That...was...incredible," you said between breaths.

He grinned as he sat up. "I'm glad you enjoyed it as much as I did." He wiped the rest of your slick from his face with a satisfied smirk.

You looked over at him and laughed breathlessly. He just looked so pleased with himself that you couldn't help but find it funny.

"Kiss me," you pleaded softly.

He was never one to deny you, so he pulled himself up and climbed onto your body, hovering over you once again. He leaned down and gently pressed his lips against yours, earning a contented sigh from your lips.

You cupped the back of his neck and pulled him closer to you as you deepened the kiss. He shifted slightly to get more comfortable and you could feel his arousal press against your thigh. You smiled against his lips, appreciating that he was willing and able to keep going.

Elliot felt your lips curve into a smile and he pulled away so he could look at you. "Something funny, doll?"

You shook your head. "Nothing's funny. I'm just...pleased."

He chuckled and kissed your neck. "Pleased, eh?" He pressed another kiss against your skin. "About what?"

"You," you said breathlessly--his kisses quite clearly having the desired effect on you.

He smiled as he nipped at your collar bone. "I'll take the compliment."

You lifted your hips, brushing against his cock in search of friction. He hissed softly, the feeling too much and not enough at the same time.

Elliot grabbed your hips and pulled you towards him so he could settle more comfortably between your legs. He went back to kissing you, his hands gently skimming over your skin, his cock pressed against your entrance.

You ran your fingers through his short hair and whined softly.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Need you."

"I'm right here." His teasing tone annoyed you slightly--he knew exactly what you wanted.

"Elliot," you whined.

He grinned. "Come on pretty girl, just tell me what you want and I'll give it to you."

"I want you."

He nipped at your jaw. "Come on...you can do better than that."

You whined again, squirming beneath him, in dire need of his touch. "I wanna feel you inside of me, Elliot--please," you begged.

He growled softly, hearing you beg for him like that made him almost feral.

To your surprise, he started to pull away from you. "El?"

"Need a damn condom."

"I'm on birth control," you said quickly.

"You sure, babe? We know this little swimmers are potent."

You laughed. "I'm sure. Come here."

He lowered himself back on top of you and lined his cock up with your entrance. His eyes locked onto yours, searching for any sign of discomfort. Seeing none, he started to push into you slowly.

The stretch was both delicious and painful at the same time. Your nails dug into his shoulders and you winced slightly when he was about halfway in.

"Shit, am I hurting you?" His worried tone matched his facial expression.

"I'm fine," you assured him. "You're just...big."

He grinned wolfishly, pride pumping through his veins. He kept pushing forward until he completely bottomed out inside you, a deep groan escaping from his lips.

He gave you a few moments to adjust before he began to move. His speed was slow and languid, and his eyes never left yours. He wanted to make sure you were comfortable and enjoying yourself as much as possible.

"More," you gasped out softly.

He sped up his movements, earning a series of moans from you. He shifted his body to get a better angle and you cried out in pleasure, nails scratching into his skin.

He knew better than to slow down or shift any farther. With each thrust, he brought you closer and closer to the edge--and the convulsing of your tight pussy mixed with the sounds coming from your mouth, pushed him towards the edge too.

"Please, please, please" you chanted.

"I've got you," he murmured.

Your nails dug even deeper into his skin, drawing blood as they raked down his back. You cried out in pleasure--a sound that closely resembled his name--as your orgasm hit you.

Elliot barely held on long enough to get in another thrust before he was filling you up with his seed, whispering your name like a prayer in your ear.

As the two of you came down from your highs, Elliot slowly pulled out of you. You shivered at the loss of contact and you could feel his cum leaking from your hole.

"I'll be right back, baby," he whispered as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

You could hear him in the distance, but you were a little delirious from all the pleasure he'd just given you. When he came back, he scooped you up into his arms and carried you towards the bathroom.

You let out a little yelp when he lifted you--you were unaccustomed to being carried anywhere. "What--?"

"Hot bath?"

You smiled up at him. He didn't really strike you as an aftercare kind of man, but you could tell he really cared. He wanted to take care of you.

You nodded and he very gently lowered you down into the tub, which was still filling with hot water.

"Temperature okay?"

"It's perfect," you said with a sigh as you leaned back. "Join me."

"In a minute, babe."

He left the room and came back a few moments later with a lighter and a couple candles. He quickly lit them and turned off the light, so the room was bathed in a soft glow. It was surprisingly romantic.

You leaned forward so he could slide into the tub behind you. As soon as he was comfortable, he grabbed you and pulled you back against him. He kissed the top of your head and you sighed happily.

"I love you," he whispered into your hair. "So damn much."

"I love you too, Elliot."

The two of you stayed in the bath until the water began to cool. Elliot helped you dry off and slip on your nightgown before guiding you back to the bed.

He pulled on a pair of boxers and slid beneath the covers beside you. He reached out and put his arm around you, pulling you to him so your back was flush to his chest.

"Sleep well, my love," he whispered.

You were already drifting off to sleep as he uttered those sweet words. He didn't need a reply--he knew exactly how you felt by the way you curled into him, a soft sigh escaping your lips.

[call-sign-shark]

My lovely Lauren, you can't imagine how much I agree with you when it comes to Tommy's stubbornness. I imagine Lucy facepalming herself so bad behind him like "She has saved Charles you bloody idiot, maybe say thank you??" 🤭 Apart from already making up his mind about Heaven, I think he's also too proud to admit he was wrong about her. Moreover, he's particularly reluctant to accept her in the family because he knows he cannot control her. Also: if I managed to give you the urge to smack Tommy, it means I did my job. That's a huge comment considering how you love him! He's awfully cold, that's the easiest but also the best way to describe him.

Thank you so much for enjoying the smut and for perceiving the desperation, need and mad love through the naughty content because that's exactly what I wanted to convey with it. Sex is indescribably powerful and serves many functions in their dynamic, and the main one is feeding the "I need you like you're my literal drug" trope. Plus, I feel like we already have a lot of content featuring XX reassuring Arthur, so Arthur comforting her felt refreshing to write.

And finally the backstory... I was impatiently waiting for you to reach this part because yeah, he backstory is awful and it isn't even properly detailed. I 100% agree with you on the topic of OC having their own trauma and being their own persona outside their relationship with the Blinders. That's also why I love Lucy with all my heart -- she feels real, with her own feelings, trauma, fears, qualities, and flaws.

"I'm so glad they've found each other!" Okay I'm gonna cry now, thank you so muuuuch. 🥹🖤

Heaven in Your Eyes || Arthur Shelby x Reader!OC

Summary: Following the event of the kidnapping of his son, Thomas and the rest of the family learn you have killed a man. Confused and in a state of shock, the Shelbys debate whether or not they should accept you. But while they are debating, you are falling into a pit of anxiety. Now, it's Arthur's time to be there for you.

Words: 6K

TW: Light angst, canonical description of violence, mention of child abuse, smut, unprotected sex, mention of death and torture, trauma talk, fluff, hurt/comfort

Notes:

✞ Admittedly this part is longer than what I planned to do but it has plenty of essential moments and discussions. The next chapter wont be that long. As for the smut part, it is quite long too but it does have a purpose in the story. You can skip it if you want but you'll miss information.

✞ This chapter is complementary to the one-shot From Blood We'll Grow (but no need to read it)

✞ Heaven is OP's original character but written with the use of « you » (Moodboard here).

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Thomas Shelby was leaning against the kitchen counter, cigarette hanging in his lips and piercing blue eyes focused on the needle of the pocket watch he was holding in his hand. It would not be long before Arthur and John would come back, consequently he did his best to enjoy the precious quietness of the house before some family chaos. He put the watch back in the pocket of his vest and took a quick look at Polly, Ada, and Michael, who had no other choice but to wait with him. When Tommy demanded a family reunion, every one of them knew they better not missed it. The two women were sitting at the table, a smoking hot cup of tea in their hands. Polly’s dark irises were staring at an invisible spot on the wall in front of her as she lost herself in the meanders of her own thoughts. Contrary to her aunt, Ada could not stay still. She was nervously moving her leg, eyes shifting between her big brother, the clock on the wall, and her own hands.

“Where’s she?!” Arthur’s voice suddenly roared in the kitchen, alongside the loud bang the door made when he almost burst it open.

Here we go, Tommy thought even though his face remain placid. Knowing Charlie was safe at home had extinguished his anger.

“Is she okay?” John asked, sincerely worried for you. As time passed, he had grown fond of your presence more and more. He was out of breath for he had been running behind his oldest brother, trying to catch up with him. When he entered the kitchen, less than one minute after Arthur, he had leaned against one chair with his hands and tried his best not to spit his burning lungs out.

“Calm down, Arthur.” Tommy issued with a neutral voice, looking at Arthur’s face which was distorted with both worry and rage.

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do, Tom! Where the FOOK is she?” At first, Tommy thought his brother was just agitated, but when he saw Arthur coming at him with teeth bared and darkened eyes he understood it was not a simple tantrum. It was fury — the same fury that had pushed him to almost killed the man who had tried to murder Thomas at the horse race, to the point they had to choke him until he almost blacked out just to calm him. Tommy did not falter though and remained motionless.

Witnessing how enraged the oldest sibling was, Polly got up from her chair and grabbed him by the arm.

“She’s fine! I’ve taken care of her myself. She is fine.” Polly repeated louder, hoping her words would overcome her nephew’s terrifying fit. She had barely finished her sentence when Arthur turned his head to her in one vivid movement and growled like an animal. However, his facial expression relaxed a little despite his brows still furrowed and his eyes shooting bullets at everyone he was looking at. Anger was boiling in his veins, fueling his heart that was pumping to the rhythm of his growing anxiety. Breath hitching, teeth still slightly bared, Polly knew his nephew could snap at any moment. She knew he was like a jerrican of gasoline, whose slightest spark could turn into a destructive wildfire, “Arthur, please. She needs you lucid,” She paused and gently tightened her hands around his arm, “She just needs you.”

Arthur closed his eyes for a few seconds and inhaled. The gulp of fresh air managed to set his ideas straight — or was it simply because your well-being was more significant than anything else in the world? When he reopened his lids, he gathered all his strength to remain in control of his wild spirit. Another growl escaped from his lips.

“Where is she ?” These were the only words he could utter. Polly took a quick glance at Tommy and sighed. The whole family knew that Arthur, as stubborn as a dog refusing to give its stick, would not let it go. He would remain deaf to any of their explanations as long as he was not informed where his angel was.

“I’ve brought her to your house. I’ve helped her clean the blood from her skin. She was curled up in your bed when I left. See? She’s at home, safe and sound.”

“Hm.” He mumbled with his jaw clenched, right before starting to pace back and forth in the room like a caged lion under Tommy’s undisrupted eyes. The latter cleared his voice to get everyone’s attention.

“I want to know what happened in every detail. Michael?” Tommy’s voice was collected. So controlled and cold his breath almost turned the whole room into a castle of ice and frost. Michael shook his head. The latest events were still stuck on replay in his troubled mind: the sensation of Hughes's skin against his hands made him nauseous each time he thought about it. Even though he took the life of the monster who had robbed him of his innocence, the threatening shadow of the priest still floated above him, waiting for Michael to fall asleep to fill his nightmare with unspeakable and excruciating memories. Hughes was gone, but the wounds were still there, vey much opened. He lowered his head, unable to bear the weight of the family’s eyes staring at him.

“I’ve killed Hughes,” He started his left hand nervously scratching the back of his right one until his skin turned red, “I wanted to grab Charles and bring him home but he was not in there. That’s when I heard a kid screaming and a big thud. When I entered the other room Heaven was—“ He stopped, for he felt the burn of the ravaging fire that was blazing in Arthur’s eyes. The unspoken threat was clear enough for him to understand: he better be careful with the next words that were about to come from his mouth if he did not want the beast to tear him apart.

“She was?” Tommy’s authoritative and slightly impatient tone captured his attention again.

“She was covered with blood, Charles in her arms. She had killed the man who wanted to hurt your son by stabbing him with a pair of scissors. If Heaven had not been there, Hughes’ colleague would have shot me and Charlie down. I saw a gun a few inches from the corpse.”

No one dared to speak now that the facts had been spit, leaving no doubt on your implication in the whole mission. Tommy brought his hands to his face and rubbed it in an attempt to process all the information he had just learned. A part of him could not believe it: how could you so easily kill a man who was almost twice your height and weight? After all, you were such a frail and small creature he had trouble imagining you going feral and butchering someone with the sole strength of your tiny hands. Yet, he knew about the dead you left on your trail when you left France. Five men, his informants told him. Five men were found dead in the forest surrounding the village. The authorities who had reported the crime called it “inhumane”. When Tommy read the case file, his jaw almost dropped at the description of the bodies — these men had not only been murdered, they had been hunted down like animals. While he first doubt the veracity of the reports, today’s events made him realize they were not exaggerated. You were dangerous. As dangerous as unpredictable. And Tommy hated what he could not predict nor control.

“Heaven… killed him?” Arthur asked, thus breaking the silence. He had frozen, turned to an ice statue by Michael’s words. He could not believe it either. How could you, his sweet and holy angel, do such a thing? He swallowed, left utterly speechless and confused.

“She did!” Michael insisted when he saw the doubt on Arthur’s face. Then, he turned to Tommy once again, “I’d be fucking dead if she hadn’t been there. And Charles too.”

Tommy let out a loud sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to kill his dawning headache.

“There was so much blood on her Tommy.”

So much blood, Arthur thought. His mind drifted away from the conversation as he tried to recreate the scene in his head. He imagined you, entering the office bathed in the pale moonlight, crimson ink bringing a frightening touch of color to your snow-white hair and skin. It felt surreal — and exciting.

“I’ve told you she was a fucking curse but no one listened to me. What am I supposed to do for people to fucking listen to me eh? Hear me Arthur?” Tommy’s chilling gaze looked upon his oldest brother.

“You know what? Fuck you, Tom. I’m done.” Arthur’s gruff voice was underlined with an unexpected and astounding calm. He had reached his breaking point, “What are ye gonna do now, eh? Wait, lemme guess. You’re gonna come at me and stand with your bossy demeanor, telling me I need to leave me angel because she’s some kind of psychotic freak to you. Then you’re gonna pat my back and tell me to forget her and that I’ll find a better woman. Maybe buy me a whore. Yes, that sounds like Tommy Shelby.” Arthur shook his head, a sarcastic chuckle coming from his lips, “You tried to make me suspect her, eh. Can't fucking believe it.” He chuckled again, far more nervously this time. “Wanna pull everyone down in your fall, that's what you want. If you can’t be happy no one around you shall be, right?“

“You don’t seem to realize what she did. And she told me to keep an eye on my son. Everyone would have suspected her.” Tommy retorted, blizzard coating his words.

“But she saved him.” Everyone turned to Polly, whose remark caused Thomas Shelby to grit his teeth. The unpleasant truth felt like nails scratching a board. Except the board was his own bones and the nails his Aunt’s words.

“She risked her own life to save your son even though you had insulted her.”

“Polly, I do like her. But I understand Tommy. She killed someone. You get it? This is not a trivial way to resolve a problem.” Ada intervened, her fingers tapping the varnished wood of the table.

“That’s what we always do, Ada. That’s what I did too.” Polly spoke with indisputable sorrow in her voice, “Whether you like it or not this company’s license is written in blood, and its foundations are made with dead bodies. We are all standing on an empire of silent hearts and maimed flesh.” A fresh nightly breeze went through the open window, caressing Polly’s face and making her short curly hair dance in the wind. The power of her soliloquy tamed Ada’s fierce spirit, “Arthur and John have been killing for this family for years. I murdered Campbell. Regarding Michael — Michael put Hughes down. And you, Tommy, when did you lose count of the men you put to sleep?”

“Fucking right.” Arthur mumbled.

Thomas looked at his aunt with a neutral face, the only detail that betrayed him was the spark of interest shining in his piercing blue eyes.

“Think ‘bout it Tommy. She foresaw Charles’ abduction. And when her powers reached her limits, she had not been afraid to dive her own hands in shit to help us. Don’t you think she has proven her loyalty to this family?”

“She isn’t loyal to us, she is to Arthur.” He corrected.

“It makes little to no difference,” Arthur responded, rolling his eyes.

“Alright, then.” Tommy cut them all off, clapping his hands to close the debate. He had heard enough, “Since we all have different opinions about Arthur’s angel — the sarcasm in his voice was undeniable — we’re going to vote. Arthur?”

“A vote? ‘Bout me bloody life decisions? Go to Hell, Tom!” He roared in response, driven crazy by the fact you were all alone at home, aching and terrified, and that he was not here for you, “She’s the woman I’ll marry. The other half of my soul. You can go all fook off if you don’t accept her in the family.”

“Predictable. Ada?”

“I don’t know. She had been quite extreme and Finn is scared of her. “

“Gonna take this for a negative answer along with Finn’s opinion. I already know Esme’s thoughts on the topic so there are three people opposed to her joining this family and one rooting for it. John?”

John remained silent for a while, his sky-blue eyes staring at Tommy with palpable irritation, “How can you all even discuss the topic? She has done more to take care of Arthur than anyone here in this room.” He walked to his oldest brother and put one hand on his shoulder as a sign of support, “I like her, and she deserves a place in this fucking family, even though she'll soon understand she ain't the curse but this family name is.”

“Michael?” Tommy went on, unmoved.

“I did not really care until now. Don’t really trust the girl but she saved me so… “

“I’ll take that as a yes. And Polly?”

“I know I haven’t been easy with her but it was because I could not sense her intentions. I was afraid she would bring evil forces upon us but she has the gift of healing. My grandmother used to have it, you know, and it runs only through the veins of exceptionally gifted witches. She could be useful, you know. We could benefits from her powers. And tonight…” She took a deep breath, “She saved my son.” The way to a mother’s heart often was her children, and Polly Gray was no exception.

“Three against four. Seems like this whole debate is over, Tom. Now I think I’ve been patient enough with your bullshit. Stop wasting my time while my place is beside her.” Arthur took one last look at his family, fury blazing in his eyes, and left the house, making the whole building shake when he slammed the door close.

“Heaven!”

When Arthur stormed into your bedroom, he was welcomed with the sight of your quivering silhouette standing in front of the window and hugging itself. It felt like a stab in his heart as he was reminded that you had to face the latest events all alone. Worst than this, one of the last things he had expressed to you was a slight doubt about your involvement in Charles’ kidnapping. He had not only been absent, he had also been awful, and God knew how ashamed it made him feel.

“Are you okay?” It did not take more than one second for Arthur to rush toward you and cup your face between his large hands, “Fookin’ hell, angel I’m so so sorry!”

You did not reply but instead stared at his guilty blue eyes with an unfathomable expression on your face. Your silence convinced him you were mad at him.

“They told me what happened and — “

Arthur could not finish his sentence, for your small and cold fists grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him in a ferocious kiss. Your lips crashed against his like a rogue wave breaking on the shore and destroying everything in his path.

You pulled away from the kiss, leaving his mouth hanging a few inches from yours.

Arthur, running out of breath, did not move except for his steel blue eyes that looked down at your body. You were wearing nothing but his white shirt adorned with stripes. The garment covered you down your thighs for it was far too large for your tiny being. “Christ,” He whispered to himself, struck by how the vision of you wearing his shirt as only clothes turned him on. His whiskey breath melted with yours, almost intoxicating you in the process as if you had drunk the whole bottle by yourself. But it was not alcohol that was making your head spin, but the instant relief the eldest Shelby gave you by his sole presence. Arthur’s tongue grazed your swollen lips with its tip, desperately hungry for more. He had been waiting to come back to you for countless hours, your face haunting his mind even when he had sent men to Hell in one big explosion. “Kiss me again, please.” He said in a soft but slightly impatient voice. He needed you to kiss him again. He needed to feel you did not hate him for doubting, nor for not having been there to protect you.

But you did not bless him with a second kiss despite the undeniable supplications in his fair eyes and the caress his feverish sighs left on your skin. You stood still, your irises firmly anchored in his for what seemed to be an eternity. Your lips remained sealed but one crystal tear rolled down your cheek.

“Hey. I’m here, love. I'm so sorry for everything you had to do…” Arthur said softly when he noticed you were crying.

No reply came from your tantalizing mouth. You kept staring at him, battling against the flood of emotions that was invading you now that your mind slowly but surely came to realize what happened last night. The blood — there had been so much blood.

“Heaven, talk to me.” He pressed one of his hands on your cheek, the cold silver of his rings alleviating your panic. And then it happened. You snapped out of your torpor all of a sudden and pushed him onto the bed. Arthur’s body fell on the soft mattress, leaving him both speechless and surprised by such unexpected reaction. Eyes wide opened, lips parted, he wondered what would you do such a thing. Did you — reject him?

“I need to forget this awful night.” Your voice was merely a whisper, but the power your words held shook him to his very soul. It was not anger nor resentment that coated your tone but lust. Without shifting your eyes from him, you brought your hands to the large shirt you were wearing and undid the first button, “I have to get it out of my goddamn head.” The way your French accent melted on your words like butter got him all fuzzy and weak.

“You sure, love?” He asked still surprised, taking a deep inhale through his nostrils.

“You have to erase it from my mind.” Your sentence broke up his core.

Arthur bit the flesh of his lower lip in anticipation as he understood what you wanted from him. Somehow, he got it: the blood, the adrenaline, the thrill of the kill… You had to find a way to release the tension. That was what he did with you in the shower last time he bashed someone’s head with his bare fists. Not only he got it, but he was ready to be your cure. His pale irises devoured your silhouette, desire burning within as you started to strip in front of him. You popped the second button with your frail fingers — and he flickered like a candle flame. Arthur’s fists closed on the bedsheet as frustration grew stronger at your languorous movements… And yet, that was the most exquisite form of torture he had ever experienced. He grunted, almost like an animal. If he had genuinely enjoyed the sight of you wearing his shirt, all he wanted now was to tear that bloody thing off you and exposed your naked body for him to see. When you finally popped the last button, a shiver of desire ran down his spine as if someone had just brushed him with the sharp tip of a knife.

The shirt was now open, showcasing more of your appetizing porcelain flesh. With one languid gesture, you let it fall on the floor and disclosed your whole being to Arthur’s starving eyes. The way the pale light of the sun coming through the window’s blinds drew patterns on your silky skin captivated him.

“Oh fuck — love,” His gruff voice said, carried away with a moan. The sensual sight made his whole body react, to the point he was now feeling far too tight in his trousers, and that was getting uncomfortable. Usually, he would not have waited so long for touching you, but today he could not help but admire your wildness. Petrified by a far too eery arousal, Arthur had the impression invisible ropes were wrapped around his body and pinned him to the mattress. He could not move and barely breathe. All he was able to do was to watch you with complete fascination. What stirred such a dizzying and strong effect was not only your angelic beauty, but also the dangerous energy that was radiating off you. This, combined with the few dried blood stains that were still adorning your skin from here and there left him feral. You stepped towards the bed, your hips swinging to the rhythm of your graceful walk. Arthur, hypnotized, swallowed the lump in his throat, his mouth dry and his heart racing in his chest. You hopped on the mattress and straddled him. How could such a tiny creature like you hold so much power? He thought. Hell, he could have broken your frail bones so easily with his own hands but here you were, riding him. You. The sweet angel he had met at church.

But you had a twisted something.

And it made him fall even harder.

A twisted something Linda never had nor understood.

Arthur inhaled sharply and growled, realizing you had literally taken his breath away.

“I want you. ” You said with teary eyes.

“So what are you waiting for, love?” His words managed to reach his mouth despite the awe you instilled in him. As he said so, your hands boldly began to explore his chest. The friction of your palms and his shirt’s fabric against his skin unleashed a wave of warmth within. Arthur shivered and watched you, still enraptured, while he let you take control of him. To hell with Tommy’s doubts and the family’s fear, you could pull his strings he would not mind as long as you belonged to him. After you had opened his shirt and exposed his chest, scattered with millions of freckles you often liked to kiss, your fingers made their way down his boiling skin and left frost in their wake. Another gruff moan — you were giving him fever.

Once you reached his waist, you took his suspenders off and threw them somewhere in the bedroom. Arthur replied to your boldness by grabbing your hips with his large and calloused hands — scarred from murder — and by giving them a bruising squeeze. That simple touch, combined with the feeling of his hard shaft pressing between your legs, sent surges of electricity through your entire being.

“Let your man take care of you, eh,” The gravel in his voice made your cheeks burn. He wiped your golden tears with his thumb— as beautiful as they were, he just hated to see them on your pretty face. Somehow, Arthur was well aware he was a high-maintenance man and he could not thank you enough for everything you were doing for him. How many times Linda had told him he wasn’t worth her help? He wasn’t worth saving? He had lost count after a while, but you never did. Unable to wait any longer for your bodies to unite, he then unbuckled his belt and unzipped his trousers, those noises bringing goosebumps all over your skin, “there, love.” He softly uttered before pulling his pants down just enough to free his erection. You moved your hips in response, guiding his cock between your wet folds without further ado. Welcomed by your wet warmth, he let out a long sigh of pure delight. Nothing could have prepared him to the all-consuming, almost suffocating desire you stirred in him. Sometimes he wondered if you had cast a spell on him, for no other woman had such an irresistible effect upon him. Each time you touched him, even for the simplest and most innocent interaction, desire and love hit him like a bullet.

“Arthur…” You sighed, as he started to roll his hips under you and push against your entrance with the glistening head of his cock. It was too much for him to wait anymore: all he wanted now was to dive into your flesh and conquer the wild territory of your soul. You gritted your teeth, almost hissing with excitation at the hurricane of sensations that was tearing you apart. You could not wait either, because he was the one who could fill the void. That excruciating and gaping void, as painful as a sucking wound, that had first opened a few years ago when you killed these five men. Oh, don’t get it wrong, they deserved it as much as the priest, but it had left you empty since then— so empty it hurt. But Arthur found you one night, and everything changed. You were his savior, but he was your cure.

“Look at me, Heaven. “ He said, his tone candy-coated with tenderness, for you had lowered your gaze ashamed of your tears. You obeyed and dared to look, your aquamarine eyes shining like precious stones. “The first night you saw me killed a man you told me I was pretty with blood all over my face. I could not fookin’ believe it,” He left his sentence hanging and pushed inside you, his thick cock stretching your walls. You moaned, throwing your head back and closing your eyes at the delightful mix of pain and pleasure.

“Arthur!” You whined, a louder lament escaping from your quivering lips, “I— I remember… ” You managed to answer between two sighs. Speaking became a real struggle as he worked you open, causing heat to pool in your abdomen and blood to rush to your pale cheeks. Arthur gave another thrust, and another, until your hips met and every last inch of his cock was buried deep inside you. Fire spread within his soul and yours when you finally made one — like you were meant to be. “Arthur!“ You repeated in a desperate cry, glistening love juice dripping from your pussy as he started with a quick pace from the get-go. You took a sudden deep breath and opened your eyes wide as if you had suddenly come back to life — because that was the kind of effect he had on you: he made you feel alive. With each push and pull of his cock, he fogged your mind and let you forget all the bad memories.

“F-Fuck!“ Sucking in a sharp breath, he shattered at the way you chanted his name. Head spinning, heart drumming, Arthur could not help but enjoy your beauty — How magnificent you were with your back arching and blissed out. “Well, I see you right now, and lemme tell you…” He panted, forced to make short pauses between his words to let out hoarse growls of pleasure, “You don’t look pretty,” He straightened back up to sit on the edge of the bed and wrapped your waist with his long arms while his hips kept fucking you in a rough pace. The corner of his lips curled in a fierce grin now that he could watch the emotions on your face from far closer, “You look divine with blood stains all over you and my dick deep inside that tight holy pussy of yours.” His words, carried by the gravel of his voice, chased away the sorrow and brought a smile to your swollen lips. As a reply, you kissed him with hunger. Dancing tongues left him breathless, “And now I’m gonna fuck away the pain and fill you with something else than sadness…” He whispered against your mouth before abandoning it only to lay a myriad of enamored kisses on your throat. The way his mustache tickled your skin only strengthened the coiling tension that had formed a knot in your stomach. “Tonight, I’m the one who saves you, angel.”

His thrusts grew faster and rougher as he spoke. To the point you were now bouncing on his lap, the sound of snapping flesh echoing in the whole bedroom alongside your erratic breath, his hoarse moans, and your enchanting cries of pleasure. You felt full and he did his best to keep you so. In fact, he barely pulled his hips back — rather wanting to remain as deep as he could in your oh-so tight pussy, “You’re a good girl, yes you are. The prettiest little murderous thing ever created eh. The fookin’ perfection …” He purred in your neck, and each of his praises made your very soul quiver. His pace soon became frenzied, for he could barely contain himself at the delightful feeling of your fragile walls pulsing all around his cock and the way you almost growled like an animal when he left small bites on your skin. Pleasure was escalating, rattling your bones so violently your nails dug into the freckled skin of his back. Little crimson drops of blood beaded from the kitten scratches your nails left in their wake. The pleasant pain caused him to give you one meaner thrust in response along with a snarl — Fuck, he liked it. His cock twitched inside you, feeling climax building. Clenching his jaws, Arthur reopened his eyes he had closed a few seconds, backed up a little bit from your neck, and stared at you. Yes, he wanted to watch you. His steel blue eyes burnt with a gleam of madness and blazing love, “You’re so fookin’ beautiful eh. Me little angel. Me future wife.” The spectacle of you bouncing on his lap, covered with a thin layer of sweat glistening on your porcelain skin, and your wild ivory mane all messed up was the most magnificent view he had ever seen. Arthur dived one last time inside of you, all the muscles of his body tensing, and he fell apart. He spilled himself in your pussy with a long raspy moan, his half-closed eyes staring at you during his whole orgasm.

“Please don’t stop, don’t stop!” You yelled.

“Such a hungry little angel, eh. Yell louder.” He teased, still high from his little death. His hips jerked, and he released another rope of thick cum, “Come for your Arthur.”

The sensation of his warm semen filling you was the end of you. Your pleasure finally reached its peak as well. Your thighs trembled on either side of Arthur as his hips slowly roll to accompany your climax. Almost blacking out because of the intensity of your orgasm, you let out one final scream and collapsed in his arms, your body limp. Arthur’s hands gently stroked your back. You hugged him tighter in reply, your breasts crushed against his chest, and stars still dancing behind your eyelids. Locked up in a tight embrace, you were both catching your breath and savoring this moment of pure tenderness. How long did you stay here, firmly gripping each other, sweaty and panting, as if your life depended on it? None of you could tell, for you had both lost the notion of time. After a while, Arthur’s back fell on the mattress again and he pulled you with him. You put your head on his chest, closed your eyes, and smiled.

“Feels better, love?” He inquired, concerned about your well-being. His long fingers grazed your back in a lovely caress. Despite you having both come, Arthur stayed deep inside you for he just loved the sensation of your two bodies making one in the most intimate way possible.

“Definitely… “ You sighed in relief, lulled by his presence under, around, and inside you.

“You know, “ He started, “Maybe you would feel even better if you talked to me about that troubled past of yours. We’ve been together for a while so you know I won’t judge, eh.”

You crossed your arms on his chest and raised your head a little to plunge your eyes into his, “Nosey little gangster.”

“Little? Fook me, yer the little one here.” He teased, one brow raised, “You tiny brat.”

You stuck your tongue out as a reply, which made him laugh. Yeah, you were definitely the brattiest angel God ever created.

“I’ll let you keep my shirt if ya tell me. Sounds like a deal, eh?”

“Deal. You’ve won.” You replied, "I like your shirt too much to say no," Truth be told, what motivated you was not really the shirt itself but the fact you were done bearing the weight of your past all alone. In addition, Arthur had always been completely sincere with you from the day you met. He had been true about his demons, his fear, his flaws. About everything. You definitely owed him the truth, “ Alright… I was living a happy little life in the French Alps when Hughes came.” Your smile vanished from your face at the simple mention of his name, as if you had bitten into a pill of cyanide, “He replaced the town’s priest for a few months. We thought it wouldn’t make much difference but we were wrong. No one saw it coming you know? His words were so smooth that almost everyone was hanging onto his sermons. He was the one who spread the rumors witches were hidden among us. And weeks after weeks, the whole town slipped into insanity. Superstition and fear drove them all to accuse friends, family, or neighbors of concerting with the Devil.” You paused and swallowed the lump in your throat.

Arthur gently slipped one of your ivory strands of hair behind your ear, listening to you carefully.

“Five men came into our home one night, and they assaulted my mom, my dad, and my little sister who was sleeping in their bed. It’s true my mom was a witch, but she used her power to heal the ill and the wounded. No one knew the extent of her abilities, they just believed she was a brilliant herbalist… I was in my own bedroom when it happened so the noise woke me up. I wanted to help them but what could a thirteen years old girl could do against all those strong men?” You bit your lip.

“Take your time, love.” Arthur’s fingers lose themselves in your hair in a tender sign of affection and support.

“I escaped by my bedroom’s windows and hid in a bush. They were looking for me, calling me awful names and… Laughing. Yeah, they laughed as if they were having a fucking hunting party, except I was the bloody prey.” You clenched your jaw and frowned, hatred burning in your sanctified eyes, “They took my family away. I followed them discreetly, in hopes of helping them to escape. But I couldn't.” Fighting against your tears, you buried your face in Arthur’s neck. His arms tightened around your frail body in response. He wanted you to know he was there, “They’ve hung my dad. And they sent many women including, my mom and my sister, to the pyre. She was eight. She was just a fucking kid, Arthur.”

“Bloody hell…” Words were at loss at such awful revelations. He hugged you tighter in a reflex, his instincts wanting to protect that poor frightened little girl who was still crying somewhere in your mind. The little girl who never had a chance to heal.

“I still hear her screams at night. So full of agony that it was hard to believe they came from a human being. Her screams haunt me, along with villagers' chants around the bonfires,"

"Their chants?"

"Burn witch, burn witch, burn." You whispered, shaking like a leaf.

“How did you manage to escape?” His gruff and comforting voice asked. You snuggled a bit more in his arms in response.

“I knew the woods by heart. I walked for days to the village that was at the foot of the mountains and knocked on the first door I saw. An old woman used to live there. She took care of me. But as I grew up, I could not heal from that terrifying night. My mind kept replaying the screams, the laughter, and the chants, to the point it almost drove me crazy. I had to do something to soothe the anger that was burning within. So I waited and waited until the time to avenge my family came. I tracked down the five men that broke into our house and took my family. I hunted them like animals for weeks, instilling fear in them, as they did when they were looking for me. And when they finally died, I left France and tried to build a new life here, in Birmingham. Regarding the rest of the story, I think you already know it. I fell for a gangster and here I am. In your arms.”

“Which is exactly where you belong” He corrected. One of Arthur's hand grabbed your chin and gently forced you to look at him, “I am so sorry, love. So fookin’ sorry. But don’t feel bad for the men you killed… They deserved it — just like Hughes and his colleague. An eye of an eye,” His lips kissed your head with indescribable sweetness, “I’ll never let anyone hurt you again eh. God forgive but I’ll make this city fucking bleed if someone dares to lay a finger upon you ever again,” His other hand stroke the curve of your hips, “I know no one will replace nor bring back your family. But… You have me,” He said awkwardly. As he did, he very lightly rolled his hips under you, causing you to sigh with pleasure for you had kept him warm and loved between your legs during the whole conversation. “You have me for-fucking-ever. And I’ll do my best to heal the pain and save you from your demons.”

You smiled at him, utterly touched by what he had just said. His promise was like a soothing balm on the gaping wound of your heart, “Am I not the one supposed to save you? ”

“We save each other, love.” He whispered, his lips collapsing with yours in a kiss filled with unspoken promises and undying love.

“I love you.” You mumbled between two eager kisses, barely finishing your sentence when Arthur’s lips captured yours again.

“Not as much as I do, love” He mumbled against the corner of your mouth, his mustache grazing your cheek when he did, because he refused to stop devouring your lips even for one second. The whisky taste of his tongue intoxicated you, making you so dizzy you did not understand how he flipped you on your back. Nor how you ended up gently pinned to the bed, the weight of his body on top of you. But it did not matter. All that mattered was the moment. The soft moans and sloppy kisses. The creaking bed and the endless sighs. You made love again— but this time it was more slow and sensual than earlier.

And late at night, when you finally fell asleep in his loving arms, you did not hear the screams anymore. Nor the evil laughter lurking in the shadows. Quite the contrary, you dozed off with a smile on your face and shooting stars filling your head, lulled by the soothing rhythm of Arthur’s heartbeat. His fire was the only one you would let consume you skin to bones.

He was the gasoline.

You were the match.

And if you both burnt,

The whole world would burn with you.

✞ gif by the talented @alicent-targaryen

✞ Any comment, review, reblog, or constructive criticism is welcome. Your reactions really motivate me and keep me alive, so please don't be shy. English is not my first language.

✞ Normally, each chapter of this series can be read as stand-alone but not this one. It's far more enjoyable if you have read at least the previous chapter.

Tag: @meowtastick @babayaga67 @sired-to-hybridrid @shelbyssins @kxnnxyasdfg @adaydreamaway08 @theshelbyclan @jomarch-wannabe @esposadomd @zablife

[starry-miki]

⭐️ Gift 2 for @sane-omblog ! In participant of @obeymeholidayexchange ⭐️

Prompt! “Purgatory hall squad in matching sweater for Christmas”

(Click for clearer version idk how to fix it ;-;)

💕 I would like to first say thank you to @ephie-om for both helping me with what Simeon would be doing and also “encourage” me to keep this piece and finish it all the way though! And i would also like to thank my sprint squad too; yall help me stay productive and I finally would like to thank @aspiringtrashpanda for the creation of this event, I’ve had a wonderful time meeting so much new people and gaining new moots and seeing my older ones too!! I love y’all so much!!! 💋🫶🫶💕

Now onto this piece thoughts and comments, other info and bonuses! (Kinda Long?)

After 9 crashes on procreate and hours of labor I would love to present you, your 2nd gift Ne! I decided to go a little all out for this one since I know I wouldn’t have enough time to do the 3rd gift 😔 (more details below)

Frankly I’m surprised it turned out alright, since I completely forgotten how to render more uhhhh more extravagantly?? and the last time I actually fully render was about roughly in May for Ven congrats gift?? So basically this was running on Christmas prayers and hopes and dreams LMAOOOO

⭐️

Cookies! You may notice each cookie looks a bit different, which each character decorated each others cookie!

Simeon did Solomon’s cookie,

Luke did Simeon’s cookie,

Raphael did Luke’s cookie

and you already know which one old man made drew it with my left hand (let’s be honest it’s the best looking cookie and the best looking thing in this entire piece I’m make it as my profile pic)👁️👁️

⭐️

Here is a full view of the piece without the cookies surrounding I forgot to save a non filter version of it but I have some snippets when I was sending it to one of my acquaintances but I guess of only old man and Raphael?? (But Raphael came out so cuteeees 😭💕)

⭐️

So the 3rd prompt details I’ll talk about it on my side account in a new post. I probably have it up some time in the next few days if not def sometime on first week of January, it also got a backstory to it LMAOO

💕 Happy holidays again Ne and I hope you enjoy your presents! And I hope the new year brings you joy and wonderful new things for you!! 🐞💋💕

[mamuzzy-creates-stuff]

My collection of Republic Commando art

REPUBLIC COMMANDO

「 I’m fucked  」[ART] 「 BAKURETSU BAKURETSU LALALA」[ART] 「 Ordo can be spontainous when he wants」 [COMIC] 「 Fi and the elemelons」 [ART] 「But seriously I have the best moots, I'm gonna cry」 [ART]   「Happy Holidays with the Omega Squad」 [ANIMATIC] -ish… it’s really simple, I hadn’t animated stuff for years. 「Kal Skirata and his 106 children」[ART]  「Ordo sketches」[ART] 「Daddy’s little boy」 [ART] + [AO3] 「You lied to me」 [ART] (cw: violence, blood) 「Blorbo rambling about Nikkari and Ordo」 [ART] 「The Art from Blorbo rambling, but Nikkari is a pervert」 [ART] 「Mereel loves you」 [ART] 「Mereel loves you part II」 [ART] 「Mereel loves you but now in color」 [ART] 「Why cat shaped if not a cat?」[COMIC] 「It's not for customers, I promise!」 [COMIC] 「Fallout!Ordo」 [ART] 「I don't want to go to work, buir!」 [ART] 「They are cute and they know it」 [ART] 「Post-Geonosis Schizoid Man」 [ART] 「Emotional Support Buir」 [ART] 「Two faces of Kal Skirata」 [ART] 「Gold is the color of revenge」 [ART] 「Who would eat bug?」 [ART] 「Serial killers」 [ART] 「Teach a Null to fish...」 [COMIC] 「Knife-Game」 [ART] 「I hate that you are alone when you do it」 [AO3] (cw: self-harm] 「Selfish」 [AO3] (cw: suicide ideation] 「Knife Game」 [AO3] (cw: suicide ideation, self-harm) 「UJ CAKE READY!!!!」 [ART] 「Buir just can't smile」 [ART] 「Ordo and Maze doodle」 [ART] 「Kal'buir baked you uj'cake」 [ART] 「The animal within me: Ordo」 [ART] 「The animal within me: Mereel」 [ART]

Assassin OC: Forty-SIx OC-TOBER DAY 1 - GETTING UP IN THE MORNING [ART] OC-TOBER DAY 3 - With their partner in life [AO3] OC-TOBER DAY 4 - IN THEIR YOUTH [ART] ORDO x MAZE (Cloneship)

「Dynamic of Ordo and Maze」[Snippet] 「I don’t deserve you」[COMIC] 「They are in love 」 [ART] 「When your boyfriend is a bookworm」[ART]  「Erotic Dice Game with the Di’kutla couple」[ART] 「Maze’s fictional crush died :((((((」  [ART] 「Fuck you, Maze」 [COMIC] 「You were late, now suffer the consequences」 [COMIC] 18+ 「He asked for no onions」 [ART] 「O Ordo, Ordo wherefore art thou Ordo」[ART] 「They are so stupidly in love I just can’t」 [ART] 「It is not socially acceptable to throw up in the alleys of Coruscant」 [AO3] 「Just let me boil in my water a little longer」 [AO3] 「Maze, Ordo and books」 [HEADCANON] 「BOOP!!!! Part I」 [COMIC] 「BOOP! Part II」 [COMIC] 「Your eyes are shit」 [ART] 「OrdoMaze: Rimming」 [ART] 18+ 「He attacc he protecc but most importantly he stalks」 [ART] 「An interactive OrdoMaze story」 [Ficlet] 「Spiteful Kiss」 [ART] 「Trust」 [ART] 「Lopott könyvek」 [ART] 「Páratlan páros」 [ANIMATIC] 「C stands for Cat」 [COMIC] 「Stupid ass ship chart: OrdoMaze」 [ART]

Other Ships

「YOU ARE MINE」 [ART] (Cloneship) 18+ Ordo x Echo 「Boxing」 [AO3] (Cloneship) Ordo x Echo 「Header image」 [ART] Darman x Etain 「Mereel x Tomo」 [ART] (Cloneship) 18+ 「Kiss on the tummy」 [ART] (Cloneship) Maze x Niner

[r4mdisk]

WAAAA GOREGOUDNSHSH GORGEOUS

Guys, I know I said I wasn't going to post anything until Wednesday... BUT... I was making some faces study, and I really liked how one of them turned out, so I thought I could share it with you all. 💙🪃

[vs-redemption]

Hii! Could I make a request for your soft Sunday? 🙈

Midoriya from MHA and 💖

Please and thank you! Hehe

Soft Sunday Headcanons: Midoriya + 💖

Midoriya is really shy and blushy when it comes to dating and romance, so it is very obvious to everyone when he catches feelings for you.

Even if he knows that you know he likes you, he still finds it difficult to actually make a move.

He's definitely the type to research how to tell someone you like them and look up tips on how to flirt.

None of that feels right to him though so his next step is to consult with his friends. Bakugo and Todoroki are really the wrong people to ask though so thank goodness when Mina overhears the conversation and steps in.

Midoriya struggles with putting things into words and tends to ramble or stutter, so the way he confesses is to give a gift (most likely flowers) with a handwritten note explaining his feelings.

Even though he knows so much about you already (you know him and his notebooks) he still needs a lot of guidance about how to be a good boyfriend to you.

He is so nervous about doing or saying the wrong thing!!

He is also SUPER bashful about affection at first. His face is bright red whenever you hug him or hold his hand or kiss his cheek.

HE LOVES IT THOUGH.

He does eventually chill out though and become more comfortable.

One thing he absolutely loves his carrying his significant other or just having them in his arms in general, depending on what they're comfortable with.

He never really stops getting blushy over kisses, but he loves touching you. He gives REALLY good massages.

His love language is gift giving. He is always surprising you with little presents or snacks he knows you like.

Another great thing about Midoriya is that nothing you do for him goes unnoticed or unappreciated. He is very grateful to have you in his life and he makes sure you know it.

Participate in Soft Sunday!

[branwendaughterofllyr]

Hi! I think A Poison Tree is one of the best fics in the fandom (in most of the fandoms actually).

In a peaceful solution who do you think would be the better between Rhaenyra and Aegon? Even if it’s a bit like picking between the plague or cholera. Like Rhaenyra has some training, but keeps making dumbass decisions (three of Harwin’s mini me’s? Really? Three?!). Aegon is, well he is Aegon but his development in F&B is basically squaring up when not a single person excepted it from him. His hand were rated R for everyone trying to stand in his way.

Then I saw that you said that you were going to change Helaegon from romantic to a more tragic siatuon, which it definitely is (according to a HOTD book they were already married at Driftmark). I was wondering how (if you want to say obvi) you are going to handle Jaehaerys and Jaehaera. I love GRRM but having a thirteen year old give birth to twins in medieval times and be fine is by far the most unrealistic thing in his books. I mean, I guess it’s possible but she really must have had 35 guardian angels standing by.

These asks are going to get me killed! I will try to answer this question as seriously as I can, and hope I avoid the firing squad.

It’s hard to say how either Rhaenyra or Aegon would do as peacetime rulers, because neither of them got the chance to do so.

Both of them seemed able to listen to advice for the most part, with Aegon taking advice from Alicent and Helaena with the peace offer initially, and Rhaenyta listening to Corlys and her other council members over Daemon when it came to the inheritance issue she dealt with, but Rhaenyra seems to have had poorer luck with selecting her advisors (Daemon) and Aegon eventually stops listening to his, so it seems moot enough in the end. One thing in Aegon's favour is he seemed more willing to step up one of the key requirements of kingship, in the sense that he was willing to go to battle and put his life on the line, something that was absolutely was expected of kings, both historically and in world (See Daeron II being mocked for being a soft unmartial man, same for Aenys and Aerys I, and compare with the positive support for Daemon B's martial capabilities, as well as the praise that Daeron I garnered for being a warrior but kind of a shit ruler. Daeron II actually lucked out in that his sons Baelor and Maekar were both capable soldiers, and he was able to use them as his proxies in war. Rhaenyra has this option in her sons, mainly Jace, but opts not use it out of a not too unreasonable fear of losing them but it is a necessary risk that does actually matter in terms of public perception.) I will give book!Rhaenyra some grace, and mention that during the early days of the Dance she had suffered a brutal miscarriage and was likely unable to physically mount her dragon, much less ride Syrax to battle, but as the war draws on, there are really times when she should have acted as a dragonrider and she didn't. Both Rhaenyra and Aegon seem prone to rash decisions, which I think should be noted, but also that Green leadership really did collapse when Aegon was out of commission, as Criston and Aemond really did fumble the rest of the war hard. Idk, it's hard to say with all the extenuating circumstances.

I'd also say that Aegon had the benefit of Tyland as his master of coin, who was very financially savy, while Rhaenyta had Bartimos Celtigar who was... less so, so I think that also colours their reigns.

I think something that is not mentioned enough that Aegon chose to spare Aegon III, when he absolutely did not have to do that, even when Alicent and others were urging him to kill the kid. He did decide to cut one of his ears off in the end when Cregan and the remaining black armies were at his gate, but honestly? the smarter political move would have just been to kill Aegon III the moment he had him, and elimate the black faction heirs entirely. In some ways, this decision may have ultimately doomed him, so it's worth noting that he did draw the line at child murder. Sorry if I seem cagey about this question, I genuinely have complcated feelings and don't want to draw any ire from either side lmao.

In a desperate attempt to marry book and show timelines, I think I have Helaena getting married and having the twins at 16. Still incredibly dangerous mind you, and I will depict it as such, but slightly better. The poor twins were pretty much screwed from the start.

[seelestia]

who are a few mutuals that you appreciate alot? mutual appreciation day 🥰❤️😊🤩💐✨

OOOO FUNFUNFUN!!! thank u so much for sending this in and for essentially spreading positivity, nonnie. this is appreciated ♡ also, instead of strictly moots, i decided to extend my appreciation to everyone! moots, anons, friends and readers alike ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

some odeliaesqué sappy appreciation under the cut:

@yvnaology - one of my fav facts abt yona was that she's one of the first moots i ever had on tumblr!!! and she's a lyney kisser and a fellow aventurine kisser (#taste). also she's so silly (/aff) and easy to talk to! like u'll feel at ease around her. she deserves good great and awesome things in life, so make sure to water ur yona daily with love <3

@solarisfortuneia - mika wished me congrats when i reached 1k and i still remember it till this day <3 she's friendly in a shy/modest way and suchsuchsuch a good writer! e.g. i cry over this every day actually. mika also has her silly moments sometimes too. someone save her /j

@floraldresvi - simply the sweetest & most supportive moot EVER! vivi is full of love and she's good at giving some of that love to others <3 her selfships are like bottles of serotonin to me. 100% would drop anything and everything in my hands to support her!!! and ik she'd do the same for me <3 mwah mwah 💐💐

@monicahar - the moot who comes online once in a while and drops absolute meals when she does. ate, left no crumbs 🔥🔥 also SUPER FUNNY!!! and unhinged, i'm concerned but amused at the same time. i hope she's having a nice break!! thank u for ur past & future services ma'am. we love u 🤭🤭

@milk-violet - MIREI !!! sunshine personified but also vv precious. i'm the leader of # protecc mirei squad (real). best person to have ever appeared in my notifs and i lovelovelove when her username pops up. take care & good luck with school! IK U CAN DO IT. remember what i said: slay before ur slayed 🗣️

@xianyoon - the butterfly moot 🦋 !!! both socially and aesthetically hehe. sosooso sweet & kind. has creative projects and executes them well at that too. i personally crown her as genshinblr's best hostess™! also, send her a moodboard and she'll cherish u forever - that's one of her love languages <3 ++ her pretty & aesthetic rb's are such a good refresh for my dash. love her for it!!

@hermosacolibri - the name, 'starlight' fits them sm bcs i feel like if we were to take a peek into their mind, stars will burst out!!! /pos (<- unique complimenting skills ik pardon me). their ideas are brilliant and i can tell they put their all into pursuing their vision <3 it's truly an honor to be a witness & reader. if u want to check them out, they write over at @/starlightlacrimosazpsff !!! ★

@wolfhookk - aaaaa ri !!!! booping her x1000 rn bcs i cannot believe boop trend ended when she came online. the discrimination 😔 /j i'll always remember ri as my first ever moot on here like first, 1st, #1!!! i forever thank her for swooping into my inbox back then and she's welcome to do that even now any time she likes <3

@kaiserkisser - skylia is the true angst consumer, the realest of it!! even in different fandoms LOL. she's nice (and gremlin-ish) when u get to know her more and she reciprocates energy really well! i'll never forget the disaster of boops in my notifs /lh

@callilouv - COOL MUTUAL ALERT !!!! cool art & cool interests. truly, picasso w/ the finger and fandoms!! idk if cal still draws with his finger dhjahshsj but still vv mega cool!

@manager-of-the-pudding-bank - the grandpas & old men kisser where art thou 💔 /j loqua has that awkward & silly rizz!!! idk if she still does wax stamps but i still think it's really cool. bcs qua's just cool in general !!! hehe

@calxlu - aaaaa vi!!! the one who enables my rambles and selfships shhshsh i am so thankful <3 rambler 🤝 rambler is the best. i love talking to her and it's super reassuring to know that it's mutual! even if i take some time but i always look forward to seeing her replies in my inbox. it's like we're penpals across the screen talking abt irl stuff and our f/o's ꒰✿´ ꒳ ` ꒱♡

& honorable mention: @/zhongrin. rin does not interact with minors anymore (which i respect and so should everyone!), so we count as former moots. but !!! i still think she's an amazing person regardless <3 (note: her blog is equally as great but plsplspls be mindful of her rules beforehand.)

brainrot anon - A REAL ONE!!! always there when i come back from the grave each time. i get reminded of them whenever i look at my inbox, it's an instinct atp. their brainrots are so fun & random (but that's a charm in itself /pos) !!! tbh i love elaborating them all so never stop sending the brainworms in <3 feel free to treat my inbox as a drop-off for ur thoughts LMAO /gen. come by again soon!

michiki anon - MY COUSINNNMNMN!!! i still love and miss when they'd come into my inbox to chat. it was so nice getting to know someone in a casual way <3 i hope ur doing well wherever u are, michikinon! i'm doing well these days and i hope u are too 🤍

rix anon - their series still has me FLOOOORED. i still think it deserves a proper platform than just thru my lil ol inbox. it deserves more recognition :( but just the fact that i got to help share their writing alone is an honor of its own!!! i hope ur doing well too, rix anon <3

++ everyone who has left a nice feedback / said anything nice in my notifs or my inbox!! even a simple 'cute' or 'this is good' or even just leaving a note means sososo much to me. i'm just a measly guy in my own little corner on this site, really - so thank u thank u thank u all !!! 🫂

[afterdarkprincess]

31 this summer and HARD SAME FRIENDS!!

JEY USO GOT ME SCREAMING YEET IN MY LIVING ROOM AND IM 31 YEARS OLD NEXT WEEK.

[leafofkudzu]

Hear ye hear ye, you are cordially invited to Verdant Shield [VS]’s third monthly community art party, open to one and all across both NA and EU servers!

An idea migrated over from Final Fantasy XIV, art parties are basically community get-togethers where artists of all kinds can hang out, chat, and create together! Digital, traditional, mixed-media, screenshots, poetry, prose - whatever your chosen medium, these sorts of events are for everyone, regardless of skill level! Dress your best, find a character that inspires you, and create! Afterwards, you can post your creations in the party’s specific tag (ours is #VSArtParty) so others can see and spread the love around via reblogs! As I’ve said every time I’ve written one of these up - the ‘goal’ of attending an art party is not to be drawn, but to draw others, and share with the community!

After last month’s NA party spilled out of the intended locale before it even started, this month’s location will be a nice open space most should be familiar with: the Crown Pavilion in Divinity’s Reach! Host to not one, not two, but (sort of) three in-game festivals, the main grounds under those graceful eagle wings offers ample room and excellent lighting for scoping out your next victim subject with ease! The squads for each party will open approximately 15 minutes before the start time and will, as usual, not be posted in LFG in order to deter party crashers (though we’ll be way easier to spot in this location so that may be a moot point haha).

Check under the cut for extra time info, location stuff, and /squadjoin info! ♥

Ah Divinity’s Reach, land of so many excellent locations that are all very very tiny and hard to swing a camera around in. I didn’t want to accidentally steal any RPers locations and also wanted a well-lit open area after the NA Grove party’s perpetual darkness, so the Crown Pavilion it is! If you somehow haven’t been to DR yet you can backtrack into it from the auto-unlocked Shaemoor Waypoint in Queensdale or take the asura gate from the Lion’s Arch Gate Hub Plaza! The whole map is a big circle, and the Crown Pavilion takes up the Westernmost section:

I am ecstatic to report that there’s a Jade Bot terminal located right smack in the middle of this place, so zooming around to get reference screenshots has never been easier (but when will they let us launch at will like in that one instance?)!

Now, on to the real nitty-gritty stuff:

Just as last month, this month’s party will consist of two separate art parties, each 3 hours long, with a 1 hour break in between to let people rest, grab snacks, swap accounts if they want to attend both, etc etc.

The first party will be on EU servers and begin at 9pm Central European Time (that’s 3pm Eastern Standard Time for NA). I’ll once again be hosting on my EU alt, so to join you’ll want to either whisper Ashelin Falstaff for an invite or type ‘/sqjoin ashelin falstaff’ in chat to auto-join.

The second party will be on NA servers and begin at 7pm Eastern Standard Time (that’s 1am Central European Time for EU). I’ll be on my main account for this one, so to join please either whisper Naveen Sen for an invite or type ‘/sqjoin naveen sen’ in chat for that sweet auto-join action. Should there be an overflow for the NA party like last month, I’ll either rope another [VS] guildmate into hosting an overflow squad, or start shooing people who are already in the right map out of the squad to allow others to taxi in - we’ll play it by ear should the need arise!

And that’s it! Expect to see me reblogging this a few times between now and go-time, and maybe even a few times once things are rolling if any weird overflow shenanigans happen. Thanks everyone for coming out and making last month’s party such a rousing success, I can’t wait to see you all there again for yet another fun time! ♥

[cloudcountry]

♡ AUBURN'S MUTUALS !! (there's more of you than i thought HELP)

@tinyletterz / 🍙 — my friend since forever ago, genuinely one of the kindest people i have ever met. she's so cute and she writes beautifully!!!! i highly HIGHLY recommend her flower language series GFGRGRGRGRFRFR

@identity-theft-101 / 🪓 — bonded over mushroom stayed for the eels tbh!! chaos incarnate BUT he has a cute bird named asa that said she loves me so i'm winning

@names-are-dumb / 🐚 — i'm so glad i got to introduce them to twisted wonderland. i am reliving my own experience through him rn. IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE OCTAVINELLE GRAHHH!!!!! one month later and we're married he's my husband and my angelfish that i write cringe ass sonnets too and i adore him <33 muah muah

@merotwst / 🧶 — LITERALLY SO SWEET OMG. she's so warm and welcoming its no wonder people just gravitate to her :C i adore her tbh she made me feel so welcomed even though i'm still scared of most twst writers LMAO

@shkrmpp / 🦐 — one of my first moots!!! personally i really love their hair dye headcanons GRAH they're so cute BUT!! they also draw C:< AND ITS A CUTE STYLE. plus their blog always looks MUAH

@siren-serenity / 🌙 — YOU'RE EVIL I STILL THINK ABOUT "i need you" WHY DID YOU WRITE THAT /lh no but actually you're so good at writing angst that rips my heart out like. if i want to sob i'm going for your azul angst (ITS A GOOD THING PROMISE)

@siphoklansan / ☔ — BEAUTIFUL ART. STUNNING. i love love love how much detail she puts into her pieces (yes i am thinking abt the floyd piece for the lipstick challenge ITS SO CUTE) AND SHE DREW STUFF BASED ON THE SONG HEART ATTACK AND I THINK ABOUT IT EVERY DAY.

@fukashiin / 💌 — silly little goofy deuce rambles and omg the leech twins. I REREAD THE STARING THINGY SHE WROTE OVER AND OVER AZULLLL AZUL'S PART IS SO %@$!%##@%!$#$%@!$#%@$!#%!@%#$!@#$%

@ryuubff / 🪼 — omg there is literally so much i could say about them. my first obey me mutual. the first person who was alike "omg let's create solomon content together." i love talking to them sm and honestly they deserves the best because they're so kind and creative C: WAHHHH

@hisui-dreamer / 🌟 — SO SWEET. i know i'm saying a lot but i have so many mutuals that made me feel so welcomed and rinna was one of them. every single piece of work you'll find on that blog is brewing with emotions and gentle care I LOVE.,,.., I LOVE!!!!!!

@officialdaydreamer00 / 🌠 — ?!?!?!?! ALSO INCREDIBLY KIND AND SO SO CREATIVE!!!! they draw me things all the time and it literally melts my heart :((( i love lov love talking to them about octavinelle and they're super easy to connect with :(((

@the-v-lociraptor / 💙 — we literally just became moots a little bit ago BUT i find a lot of good fanart through her!! she reblogs a lot of cool stuff :D !!!!!

@ceruleancattail / 🔷 — I FORGOT TOW RITE SMTH HELP EM anyways <33 ceru writes some cute ass shit that makes me kick my feet and squeal (AND ALL THE AZUL CONTENT I HAVENT BINGED YET....UGH IM SO EXCITED)

@i-like-forgs / 💪 — appreciator of sand cats and draws a lot!! the creator of my wedding venue with azul and enabler of so many of my ramble i am clinging to his ankle as he drags me around

@valerie-leech / 💚 — we just started talking but they're part of the auburn azul wedding squad!! :D im excited to interact with them <3

@twst-beam / 🎉 — we also haven't talked a lot yet but i can't wait to get to know her better C: !!

@iseethatimicy / 💎 — a fellow azul kisser!! i finally found another one!! :D has an unholy amount of azul memes i do not know where they come from (probably pinterest) but they are Fascinating

@acornwinter / 💫 — sends random shit in my inbox because they started talking about their dreams once and i decided Yes!! and now they draw my ocs and its super cute and i love their little tiny ppl drawings C:

@totallymem3 / 🥀 — we just started talking but!! very sweet <33 her art style is just MMMMUAH CHEFS KISS!!!!!!!!! i love it. it reminds me of spring.

@z3llous / 🐸 — draws azul SOOOOO good i love lovelovlevoevloev his art!!! its so scrumptious i eat it all up for breakfast lunch dinner ON NOMNOM

@cecilebutcher / 🪩 — has a bunch of really cool ocs!!! igor my belobed /p they have such a creative mind and its a pleasure to listen to them ramble about the characters they created!!! :D

@ang33333333l / 🙏 — another azul kisser!! we haven't talked much but i can tell doll is a very sweet person <33

@axvwriter / 👻 — SHE HAS AZUL'S DORM UNIFORM AND IM SO JEALOUS. LITERALLY SO UNFAIR.

@soru-ya / 🍞 — THEY WROTE AROACE CONTENT FOR ME :((((( CRYING RN they're such a good writer please go check them out PLEASE im begging you

@rains-asleep / 🐝 — ANOTHE RGOOD WRITER WHAWHWAHWHAHWA <33333 we had such a deep conversation about caramel once it was enlightening.

@shinysparklesapphires / 🎀 — floods my inbox with precure stuff and now its next on my watch list. started the laura and azul siblings conspiracy :O !!!!!

@twistedchatterboxed / 🌊 — The jade kisser ever. we have a lot of mutual moots (hehe say that ten times fast) so i'm excited to get to know her better!! :D

@keii01 / 🍡 — she's so sweet i want to put her in my pocket and carry her around everywhere i go!! she draws a lot of cute stuff too (there is no such thing as too many ribbons <3)

@tsun0tar0u / 🐉 — showed me a genshin glitch once and i have never been the same. also i would die for kafka btw. normal about rollo btw. So Normal.

@non-binary-lil-shit / 🍄 — enables my marine bio and mycology rambling!! also i am very concerned for you C:

@queen-shiba / 🦁 — your profile theme is literally so pretty i am eating it right now (IDK I JUST LOVE ORANGE) also the leona blender post made me so confused but also i laughed really hard HELP

@vioisgoinginsane / 💜 — she likes some vampire game i think LMAO but the twst content? YUMMY. a writer once in a blue moon and apparently best known for the BITING ROOK HUNT post. GET IT!!!

@moonlit-midnight / 🌸 — hannah is such a good writer :(( WRITES PLATONIC FICS DID YOU HEAR THAT EVERYONE!!! PLATONIC FICS!!!!!!! they're all so adorable and make me want to curl up under a blanket with a mug of hot chocolate <3

@ryker-writes / 🦚 — asked about to deep sea and LET ME TELL YOU i got so excited about it and im still writing it hehe. ryker writes a lot of familial angst so its that your thing go for it!!

@datboredpencil / 💀♦️ — GORGEUYS ART ABSOLUTELY SCRUMPTIOUS YUMY UMY UM AN ENTIRE BUFFET!!!! theres a lot of idia x cater content too if thats youre thing!!! :D

@twistwonderlanddevotee / 🪷 — we havent talked a lot but im still happy to have you here!! :D

@beeirdos-buzzing-bogaloo / 🐥 — apparently very normal about sebek. the Most normal. we havent talked a lot but hes silly :D

@dove-da-birb / 🪿 — literally so funny. putting you in my pocket right now!! ALSO I LOVE YOUR BRAINROTTING HELP

@loser-jpg / 😬 — YOUR BEWILDERMENT AT MY DASH SPAMMING WAS REALLY FUNNY i hope you get used to it </3

@ashipiko / 🌺 — THE #1 ACE KISSER EVER???? her art is so munchy and yummy i want to eat it :(( HER STYLE IS SO CUTE SRSLY IF YOU HAVENT SEEN HER ART YET PLEASE CHECK IT OUT

@shyhaya / you should pick an emoji!! — wrote the most fantastic delicious delightful heart wrenching thing for azul and tagged ME in it :(((( AAAAAA IM SO SORRY I DIDNT SEE IT SOONER. IF YOU EVER WRITE FOR AZUL AGAIN PLEASE TAG ME I'D LOVE TO SEE IT.

@musicalhistorical / 👹 — omg hi quotev person you've been putting up w my bullshit since forever ITS SO FUNNY TO SEE YOU HERE LMAO

@thehollowwriter / 🎶 — ITS LITERALLY A CRIME I HAVENT FOUND YORU WRITING SOONER??? WHY HAVENT I SEEN IT??? IM GOING TO BINGE YOUR AZUL FICS RIGHT NOW EVERYONE SHUT UP I AM SHAKING YOU AROUND QUINN

♡ AUBURN'S ANONS!!

magical girl anon

seahorse anon

❤️ anon

[attonposting]

So KotOR II, when you train your companions into Jedi, I think most of us immediately give our Force Friend Squad healing and lightning and whatever else is gonna make combat go quickest. But looking at them as people, what powers would they actually have an affinity for? What's natural for them to learn and use?

Atton cannot heal to save his life – and it would, given his tendency to get himself into trouble. However, what he does have a knack for is Revitalize, channeling his ability to hang in there and keep fighting no matter what. He's also got a nasty predisposition towards a couple of dark side powers, especially Force Choke. At first Atton is pretty irreverent about how he uses the Force – a blaster bolt or an exploded guy, dead is dead, so what's the difference? - but the issue is that, as before, he likes it. And he doesn't want to feel that anymore. Atton would also be quite good at mind tricks, being both a duplicitous asshole and an ex-assassin with specialized training on how mental domination works, but it's a moot point because he stubbornly refuses to learn them.

Bao-Dur's first foray into the Force involves learning to manipulate the currents in droids – they're the easiest energies for him to connect to, and disabling or overloading machinery from afar comes naturally. What also comes naturally, unfortunately, is Force Scream, especially when they land on Dxun and all his old war wounds are torn open. Canderous joining the crew was not a good time for him, and honestly, when Bao-Dur talks about how he feels calmer in the Exile's presence? I think it makes a lot of difference whether this chat happens before or after Dxun. Bao-Dur's a whirlpool beneath a calm surface, so psychic blasting people with repressed anger and pain hits pretty right from where I'm standing. He has to work a little harder to learn Force healing, but channeling his energy into reconstruction is something he eventually strikes a deep, quiet connection with.

Mira was the hardest for me to peg, at least with the game's power roster. We already know what she's best at through the Force – a strange combination of hunter's instinct and empathy, where she can find people by understanding how they think and what they need. There's no power equivalent to that, though. What I do think she'd excel at is Stun and Stasis. It's part because she always strives to disable people without killing them, and part because that's kind of her whole aesthetic (or at least that's what the design team would like us to believe, smh) – appearing nonthreatening and then taking you down before you ever realized you were in danger. A non-Dark-Side Mira would have a lot of trouble with blatantly lethal powers like Force Lightning and Force Choke, and if she doesn't, that's allll on the Exile's freaky influence warp.

Brianna is a master of combat buffs – at first mastering her own body, and then channeling that near-preternatural surefootedness to her allies. Master Speed, Force Valor, deflecting blaster bolts with her bare hands, it's all in her wheelhouse. Can totally see her in the middle of a pitched fight tossing people around with Force Wave, literally leaping across a battlefield with lightsabers flashing and landing with a shockwave that throws a dozen men back. Girl could go very anime if she wanted. Let's face it, she's earned it.

Mical is absolutely a healer. Guy already had medical training, and more importantly, he is friend-shaped. It's not something that companions can learn or use in-game, but I think that persuasion would also be in his wheelhouse – not for the sake of domination, but out of a sincere desire to seek better solutions where tempers, greed, and pride otherwise rule. Like, c'mon, he becomes a senator in some of his endings – now imagine that, but not completely disillusioned with the galaxy. He could cut you down, but he'd really rather you go home and rethink your life choices. I think there's strong grounds for him getting Force Enlightenment down the road, which is another exclusive-to-PC power that's beyond the scope of many Masters. Mical has about the most complete view of the Jedi Order anyone could aspire to, understanding without excusing its flaws and the easy pitfalls the Code can lead to while still truly believing in the good it can do for the galaxy.

Visas joins the party pre-equipped with a bunch of Dark Side powers, which makes me weep. Like, Force Horror? She's projecting the overwhelming trauma of Katarr. Choke and Lightning? You know Nihilus used them on her liberally. It's awful. But I'd like to think that on a Light Side run, as she grows into her own, she develops different affinities. I get support vibes again, but for Visas, it's about endurance, and sharing what she's gained with those who helped lift her up – Force Barrier and Energy Resistance, Force Aura, maybe Force Resistance. She can still wield her grief and her anger, but it doesn't rule her – she's not like Atton, where those powers hold a real and present danger for his psyche. She still feels that pain, and she's unafraid to use the darkness when necessity calls, but it's not the only thing that fills her heart anymore.

[lhs3020b]

Arrival - an analysis

As I was working through the DLCs for ME2 tonight, I got to thinking about the odd lack of drama that "Arrival" has.

A couple of thoughts below the cut, in no particular order...

I think the first problem with Arrival is the oddness of it. The lack of your usual squad is a bit strange - while it makes some sense in the context of infiltration, it still doesn't make very much sense. On re-playing the DLC I felt like there was a slightly not-quite-real feeling to it, like this was somehow not quite part of "Mass Effect proper", and I think the root of that was the lack of the squad.

Then there's the inconsistencies between how Aratoht is described in the Codex and what it looks like. The Codex describes an uninhabitable planet in the very early stages of terraforming; the visuals show a terrestrial world with an advanced ecology, normal atmosphere and weather. This incongruity, for me at least, added to the faint air of unreality.

The other issue with Arrival is perhaps a "structural" one. While re-playing it, I noticed that it lurches constantly between small-ish cutscenes, and these felt like they disrupted the flow of the action. Particularly later into the DLC, I actually felt a little irritated with some of them as it felt like they were obstructing doing things. The narrative felt oddly heavy-handed - there was a lot of Shepard talking to herself. Normally a lot of this would happen in more "organic" dialogue between Shepard, the squadmates and any NPCs, but aside from a few conversations with Kenson, Arrival has none of that.

Then there's the absence of any meaningful moral choice. You can't not fire up the engines on the asteroid. The closest you get to a choice is whether to warn the colony, and if you try, Kenson interrupts the broadcast, rendering it utterly moot. If you have no choice, then you have no agency, and if you have no agency, what reason do you have to care about the results?

(I am aware that very technically it is possible to run the clock down on Arrival and get a spectacularly non-standard game-over that way, so I suppose there is an element of choice there ... but how many Shepards are really going to stand there for half an hour on a random asteroid, doing nothing, while the clock ticks down to the Arrival?)

There's also the slightly-demotivating aspect of the denouement itself, which forces you to be personally-responsible for nearly a third of a million civilian deaths ... and then the game basically does nothing with it. You can express a bit of emotional frustration while talking to Hackett at the end, but that's basically it. "Hi, I'm a mass murderer and I'm supremely-unbothered by any of this." If the character is clearly feeling nothing, why should the player?

I think the last slightly-off element to Arrival is the brief conversation with Harbinger. The dark majesty that Sovereign had just isn't there. Harbinger rants at you for a bit, then pretty much throws a tantrum and rage-quits the comm-call. It's not awe-inspiring, it's not terrifying, it's not moving - rather, it's mildly-irritating. You're a giant aeons-old alien warship from outside the galaxy and the best burn you can manage is some wibbling about "dust on cosmic winds"? Really, Harbinger? Really?

I wasn't expecting an actual Reaper to - literally! - phone it in!

I think Arrival ends up presaging a problem that was rampant in ME3. The build-up to the conclusion was mostly-OK (with reservations) but the denouement was lacking. And that's a pattern that we saw regularly in ME3, all the way to the infamous endings.