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[mshermia]

What’s In Your Heart - Webpril 03: Soul World

summary: 

Peter had been dodging Tony for weeks now. A few months after the world was saved, Tony wasn't sure what he had done but every time they had scheduled a day at the lake house, Peter found a new excuse to cancel.

Or, Peter struggles with the aftermath of the Snap.

read on AO3

###

"What the hell is wrong with my cooking?" Pepper had spun around, not too far off from that metaphorical steam coming out of her ears.

Tony was on thin ice. On very thin ice. No matter how much his awesome brain had been praised left and right over the past decades, it sure was failing him now.

"Nothing is wrong with it. And while I personally love your lentil and chicken sausage stew, I'm not sure the kid has the pallet to appreciate your hard work, honey," he rambled, trying not to stumble over his words. "Plus we're out of kale."

Pepper shrugged up her arms in bewilderment. "How are we out of kale? I just bought some yesterday!"

"Erm..." Tony quickly moved away from her, fiddling with the tab and a jug for a bit to hide the cringe on his face. "I think Madame Secretary fed it to the chickens instead of the lettuce leaves." Tony ignored Pepper's groan of annoyance and pressed on back to the topic at hand. "So, I was thinking I can just order in Thai food when he gets here. You know how the kid loves Thai food."

With a deep breath, she rubbed two fingers over the crease between her eyebrows. "When will he be here?"

"Sometime after lunch," Tony said quickly, adding a quieter, "I think".

"So, we're not entirely sure if he'll be here," Pepper clarified, her arms crossed in front of her. "Again."

"He'll be here," Tony waved her off. "He'll be here."

By 5 o'clock, Tony was bent over his workbench in the basement. Elbows perched on the tabletop and head balanced between both hands, he was staring at nothing in particular, wondering what he'd done wrong. He'd been down there for a while when Pepper's soft steps echoed off the walls as she came down the stairs. Tony didn't bother to move, didn't even bother to pretend that he had been doing anything but mope over the fact that Peter had not shown up. One hand tangled in his hair, the other cradling his face, Pepper pulled him close, his head dipping against her chest.

"Did he message you?"

"No..." Tony mumbled against the fabric of her shirt. It wouldn't be long now though. The kid had not been shy for excuses whenever he had canceled lab time.

"Did you guys have a fight?"

Tony turned his head to the side, wrecking his brain and not for the first time. Had they had a fight? Had he done something wrong? 

Things had been perfectly fine right after that last showdown. Well, fine might not be the best word. Tony hadn't been fine, physically at least, but Peter had stuck by his side, never far off when Tony would wake up from a procedure. Every time he had found the kid next to his bed, Tony had been elated. 5 years of agony without him and then, there he was like he had never been gone.

Things had been fine and Tony had no idea where he had gone wrong.

"Maybe it's nothing you have done, hm? It has to be a shock for all of them. Coming back to a world that's so different than what they remembered."

"Yeah," Tony mumbled. "Maybe..."

Just then, his phone lit up with a received message. Pressing his eyes shut, he turned his face back towards Pepper. He didn't need to see it. He had gotten that message too many times already.

It was always the same. Whenever they had finally set a new date, there was something that had come up. Homework. Decathlon practice running long. A late patrol, he needed rest from. May had asked him to stay after all.

"He says that he has a project for school that he's had to finish today and he's not quite done yet and that it'll be too late to come over afterwards," Pepper read out loud for him.

Schoolwork. On a Saturday.

She ruffled her hand through Tony's hair and pressed a kiss on top of his head. "I can still make some stew?"

Tony grimaced against her. "I don't like it with no kale."

With a soft laugh, she pressed another kiss to his head, then untangled Tony's arms from her waist. "Well, me and your daughter will be up there waiting for when you're done feeling sorry for yourself, okay?"

"Funny," Tony grunted, slumping against the top of his workbench again. Pepper was halfway up the stairs when he called out to her. "Is it me? Am I... am I expecting too much after... after everything? Maybe it was all just in my head?"

"Babe, I think I'm the wrong person to ask all that." She tilted her head with a sigh. "Just talk to Peter."

Tony leaned back in his chair, eyes on his fingers toying with the nanites on his right hand. Sure, talking was his area of expertise. Feelings, not so much.

 #

 It had been a long time since Tony had been to the city. Even with all the years, he had lived in Manhattan, that lake house had been terribly easy to get used to. The glare of the streetlights of Queens was definitely something Tony could live without. His fingers drummed on the steering wheel as he squinted up at the apartment building.

This was a horrible idea.

Tony straightened the sleeves of his jacket as the elevator doors opened onto the floor of Peter and May's apartment. He hadn't felt this awkward ringing at someone's door since his first date in college and back then his biggest worry had been if his fake ID was convincing enough. He brushed his knuckles against the apartment door softly first, then a little hard before he stepped back a little. As the door flew open, it was neither Peter nor May who stood in the frame.

Happy, dresses in boxer shorts and a white t-shirt, was the last person Tony had expected to run into at the Parker's apartment.

"Erm..." Tony blinked a couple of times, his mouth gaping just a bit too wide for his standards.

"Tony! What..." Happy's eyes had grown round and big, his complexion paling as he tugged down the hem of his shirt a little further. "What... what are you doing here?"

"Yeah," Tony mumbled. "Yeah, me... I'm the surprise."

Happy's mouth clapped shut. He retreated a little further into the apartment but there was no convenient place for him to hide.

"Do you need more change?" May called from somewhere within the apartment.

"Er, no..." Happy stammered, his voice pitched far too high. "It's... er...." He cringed at Tony, clearly unsure what to say. "All good here."

Tony rubbed a hand over his face. "I just want to talk to Peter."

"Peter?" Happy's shoulders lost a little of their tension. "Peter's not here."

"What?" Whatever awkward energy had been pulsing through Tony before went flat at once. "He was supposed to come to the lake house today and then sent me a messaged to cancel."

Happy frowned. "He did?" His hand shot up and scratched the back of his neck. "May said he's spending the night at Ned's."

"Oh." That stung. Tony couldn't deny it.

"Come on, give the kid a break," Happy sighed. "Listen, I know you missed him and you did all... all that stuff for him, but he needs some time for his friends, too. Don't be an ass about it."

Tony's heart gave an unpleasant squeeze. "Excuse me?"

"Hey..." Happy pulled his hands up, giving him a look like he didn't want to fight. "I'm just saying. He's been out there with you every other day. He's 17. He needs to live a little." A hot flush rose on Happy's face. "I mean like... do some... some teenage stuff."

Stunned, Tony stared up at him. Just as he was working past his confusion enough to get out a mumble 'What the fuck are you talking about?' did the elevator doors open once again.

"Oh, thank god," Happy groaned holding out money for the delivery driver to take. "Listen Tony, I'd really appreciate it if you could keep all this..." He vaguely gestured at himself and the apartment. "...to yourself. May wants to wait for the right moment to tell him, so, please just, you know..."

"Right," Tony breathed. "I'll... er..." He pointed back at the elevator where the delivery man had already disappeared again. "I guess I'll head home then."

With an awkward little wave, balancing the take-out, Happy closed the door leaving Tony alone in the quiet hallway. His heart was beating harder and faster with every passing second, dread spreading through his veins.

"FRI," he muttered. The nanites in his right hand illuminated at the sound of his voice. "Find Peter. Now."

 #

 It was only thanks to how fast FRIDAY found him, that Tony managed to calm himself enough to take the car instead of commanding the suit to encase him. Well, that and the fact that Peter was less than 15 minutes drive away from the Parker's apartment.

Mount Olivet Cemetery was quiet. The gates had been closed, visiting hours for the public long over. It left Tony with few options but to suit up after all once he was out of sight of the main gate and then hover over the high fence. He walked the rest of the way guided by FRIDAY until he found Peter sitting in the grass.

He didn't look up at Tony but didn't hesitate to speak when he had walked up behind him. "What are you doing here?"

Tony crossed his arms, carefully to keep his own bruised ego in check. "I went to your place because I thought that maybe we should talk about why you're avoiding me. Of course, then I heard that you're at Ned's and I thought cool, I wonder how the kid's friend is living it up. Was expecting a little something different, not gonna lie. Needs better lighting. Also, I'm quite a fan of this thing called central heating."

"That's hilarious," Peter mumbled.

With a sigh, Tony dropped his arms. He walked up the last couple of steps to Peter and sat down in the grass next to him. The October air was not quite frosty yet but far from comfortable.

"What's going on?"

Peter shrugged. "What do you think?"

"Well, I was hoping you'd lie to your Aunt and me about a secret party schedule or a teenage romance you wanted to keep quiet." 

The quiet brooding, the way Peter stared ahead, not baited at all was so unlike him.

"You know, don't you?" Tony kept his eyes on him. "About Happy?"

Peter's chin was resting on his pulled-up knees, eyes staring ahead at the gravestone of Ben Parker.

"Kid?" There were goosebumps on Tony's skin, but now was not the time to freak out.

"Yeah." He hesitated for a moment, then added, "May invites him over when she thinks I'm at your place. Or at Ned's."

"And then you come here instead?"

"Sometimes," Peter whispered.

Tony pressed his eyes shut, battling the rising resentment that Peter would rather sit here alone than to come to him, only to hate himself for making it about himself.

"What's going on, buddy?"

Peter huffed out a breath. "You wouldn't understand."

Both of his hands braced against the wet grass underneath him, Tony swallowed the testy remark that was burning on his tongue. "You're a smart kid. I'm sure you'll find a way to explain."

"Yeah? Well, maybe I'm not as smart as you thought. Maybe I'm not—" Peter pursed his lips, gave his head a little shake.

"You're right," Tony nodded. "Maybe I don't know what it's like. It was just you and May and now you come back and this all seems to have happened too fast and—"

"That's not..." He shook his head again, this time a little more forceful. "It's not that. She's... she's happy and I want that. She deserves that."

"Pete, I'm sure they just don't want to overwhelm you. If you talk to her and—"

"Just drop it," he hissed. "This isn't your problem."

Tony bit the inside of his lip, painfully hard at that. His eyes had snapped away, now squinting down at his own chest, watching it rise and fall with the deep breaths he sucked in, hoping to calm the temper that was blazing up inside him.

"Maybe..." Tony blew out another low breath, determined to keep the edge out of his voice. "Maybe the fact that I'm here and asking should tell you that I'm rather willing to make this my problem, Pete."

For the first time, the kid's head moved just enough that he could squint in Tony's direction. After a moment of hesitation, his eyes flickered back to the grass in front of Ben Parker's headstone. "You're happy now." Peter pressed his lips flat with a little shake of his head. "You don't need this. It's not fair to you."

"No, buddy, what's not fair is you being out here lying to us about where you are. After everything." Tony sucked in a deep breath. "After 5 years of missing you."

Peter hid his face behind his hands and just when Tony thought he had gone too far, pushed too much, the kid's arms dropped drown to his knees. "If I tell you, you can't say anything to May."

"Pete—"

"You have to promise me." At last, he looked right at him, eyes pleading. "She can't know."

Tony held his stare, hoping that maybe it would be enough for Peter to yield, but he didn't falter for even a moment. Tony inclined his head at him, banking on the terms changing after he knew what was going in.

"Alright then."

For a moment, Peter didn't move at all. Then he slung his arms around his legs, pulling them a little closer to his chest like it would help to hold onto his composure when he would speak. Only, he didn't speak. He stared into thin air, lips trembling but not a single word rolled off his tongue.

"Pete?"

As if pulled from a dream, his head snapped in Tony's direction, his eyes swimming with tears. 

"I saw... I saw Ben," Peter whispered. "I... Just for a moment. Or..." He narrowed his eyes a little in thought. "Or I thought it was just a moment but now... I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe... maybe it was longer."

"You mean..." Tony swallowed hard, nerves fluttering in his stomach. "After. When you were gone?"

Peter nodded, a first tear dropping off his lashes.

It wasn't surprising. In fact, it was quite in line with what Tony had thought this might be about. Stories of those who had been dusted seeing dead loved ones had sparked up soon after those lost during the Snap had returned.

A trip to heaven for the fallen, was what the tabloids had coined it. A nice sentiment for some, Tony was sure, but they didn't know what he knew. They didn't know about the Stones.

Tony moved a little closer. One hand on the back of Peter's head, his thumb brushed through the kid's hair. "It's normal to miss him, bud. You think May doesn't still—"

"It's not..." Peter shook his head, causing Tony's hand to fall down to his shoulder instead. "It's... I can't explain. You wouldn't understand."

The inside of Tony's lip was sore where his teeth had been grazing and biting, giving an outlet to his own nerves. "I do, buddy. I understand. It's..." He blew out some air, centering himself. "It's unreal. Beyond words, beyond explaining. I... Honestly, I thought it might have been a reaction to the anesthetics at first before I— Well, anyway..."

Peter had sat up at that, his eyes red, eyebrows drawn together. His eyes flickered over Tony's face, studying him while his jaw moved like he was gritting his teeth.

Tony squeezed his shoulder. "All I mean is that all this, magic tricks and... and Infinity Stones, their effects, it's not logical. It's not something we understand yet. Maybe we will one day. If you want to..." Tony shrugged. "We could try and figure out the energy structure of—"

"You saw something?" Peter whispered.

Tony swallowed hard, fighting his instincts to look away, to reach for his glasses, something to shield the uncertainty that had been plaguing him for the past few months.

Peter's eyebrows twitched. "When you... did you see something? When you... did the thing?"

"Did the thing?" He dipped his head at Peter, trying for some humor. Inappropriate, outrageous, the cliché he was supposed to embody.

"When you... when you snapped the gauntlet. When you died..." Peter sucked in a shaky breath, his eyes never leaving Tony's face. "You saw something then?"

Tony swallowed hard. "I didn't die, kid."

"You... you were gone. The arc it was—"

"The nano housing unit's structural integrity was destroyed by the stones. I didn't die, buddy. I— Hey..." Tony moved a little closer, his arm now wrapped around Peter's shoulder. His other hand cupped the kid's face. Peter's breathing had become uneven, panicked almost. "It's okay, kid. Just breathe. It's all good. I'm right here."

Peter nodded like he wanted to believe him, hot tears running down his cheeks onto Tony's hand. He might have tried to hide his tears from Tony before, but now that didn't seem to matter anymore. Just like it hadn't mattered after that last battle. Tony would never forget the fear on Peter's face on the battlefield that day. The way he had been curled up in a chair next to his hospital bed. It was the stuff his nightmares were made off, causing the kid that kind of pain, only second to those memories from Titan.

No, the kid was way past hiding his tears. His eyes were glued to Tony's face. Calmly, Tony mimicked for Peter to breathe in, hold the air, then breathe out. It wasn't like Peter didn't know what to do. This wasn't their first rodeo. Over the years, they'd been here more often than Tony really cared to admit.

They sat there for a while as Peter's heartbeat slowed, as his tears dried, his eyes a little more focused. It took effort for Tony to keep a light smile on his face as he looked right at Peter, not to pull away now. It took effort not to lie to the kid's face like he had been lying to himself, avoiding the trauma, the toll that day had taken on him.

"I do know, buddy. I... I did see it. Or at least I... I guess it was likely the same."

"You saw someone?"

"Yeah," Tony breathed. "My mom."

Peter's eyes widened. "Your... your mom?"

"Yeah." Tony nodded, trying not to think of her face now. "It was just a short flash. She didn't say anything. Just stood here and I... Come here, buddy." Tony pulled him close enough to wrap both arms around him. "I'm not sure, but I think it was the Soul Stone. The orange glow. Did you see that?"

Peter nodded against his chest and Tony hummed in agreement.

"Yeah, must have been that one. I think it just lets you see the people you love, the ones that are already gone. You know, what's in your heart."

Peter's hand shot up but not in time to stifle the sobs that bubbled out of him, deep and agonizing. It caught Tony by surprise. The only thing he could think of was to pull Peter a little tighter against him, mumbling soothing words, trying to calm him down.

"It's okay to miss them, bud. It's okay." When he kept his voice low, it was less likely to shake or worse, break.

"But I didn't... I didn't see them... My mom and dad." He shuffled in Tony's arms. "I loved them. I... I swear. I just... it was all so fast and I... I didn't know. I just didn't think and—"

"Oh buddy, shh. That's not... Maybe..." Tony blew out a breath, cursing himself. His chin was resting on top of Peter's head, his eyes burning for the kid. "Maybe it doesn't work like that, hm? Maybe it's not who you love. And maybe it's just one person, hm? I only saw one person."

"But Ned he... he saw his dad and... and all his grandparents and then..." Peter sucked in a few breaths, his voice muffled against Tony's chest. "He asked me if I saw my parents, too, and I... I lied. I said I did but— You can't tell May, please."

Tony pressed his eyes shut, his heart breaking for the pain the kid had been harboring.

"I swear, I love them," Peter mumbled. "I do. I don't... I don't know why... why they weren't there, why I didn't think, why—"

"Oh buddy, no, no, no. Come here...." Tony grabbed him by both his shoulders, maneuvering him in a way that Peter could look at him. "Hey, look at me for a moment. How old were you, hm? When they died?"

"I..." he frowned, fingers brushing away his tears. "Like... like 4..."

"Do you even remember what they looked like? I don't mean from pictures just... memories of them?"

Peter's eyes filled with more tears his chin trembling.

"Hey, no, I don't... Pete, it's not your fault if you don't, okay? You were so tiny. Just think how tiny Morgan is. If I had—" His lips slammed shut as he pushed the thought out of his mind. "Maybe it has nothing to do with what's in your heart, okay? Maybe it's all up here, hm? What you remember?" He tapped Peter's temple a couple of times, not looking away from him. "We just don't know. But I promise you, it's nothing you did wrong, okay?"

There was reluctance from Peter as he huffed and pressed his face back against Tony's chest.

One hand in his hair, Tony gave it a ruffle then softly tapped a finger against the back of Peter's head. "I know that big brain of yours is trying to rationalize everything that happened, but you gotta trust me with this, kid. This is not on you. I promise. I'm sure if love would have been enough you would have seen them."

Peter didn't say anything, he only held onto Tony, hands balled up in his jacket. The wet grass, the chilly October night, all of that didn't matter anymore. Tony would sit through a lot worse if it could take some of the pain away.

He still had his chin resting in Peter's hair. The kid had calmed down, his breathing even now, the sobs had subsided. Just when Tony was starting to wonder if he had fallen asleep did Peter's stomach give a rumbled that must have echoed through all of Queens.

"Wow! I think I'm gonna have to call animal control and warn them, just in case they get a bunch of calls for a starving wild animal running loose in Queens."

Peter snorted. "Don't be an ass, Tony..." The tiny giggle the kid had let slip, gave Tony hope, but it was forgotten just as fast. With a heavy sigh, Peter shook his head, his voice muffled in Tony's shirt. "You think it's too late? To drive out to the lake house tonight?"

His hand was still in Peter's hair, brushing back and forth through the strands. "Not if you stay till Monday..."

Peter's chest vibrated with another laugh.

"Fine," Tony sighed extensively. "Sunday night then?" He craned his neck a bit, trying to get a glimpse of Peter's reaction. "Only if you want to, buddy."

"I do," Peter nodded. "I do want to."

By the time they had left the city, Peter was curled up on the passenger seat, eyes closed. He looked peaceful like that, at ease. 

Tony blew out a quiet sigh as his eyes went back to the dark road. There was no point in pretending like things would be all dandy now. It wouldn't as simple as this, to have one talk and voila, trauma gone. No, this would take time but that was okay.

Time, they had.

[baby-grayson]

Kind Stranger|GBD|Part 10

Parts 1-9 word count: 6k 

tw: anxiety, angst, fluff, mature themes tags: @dolanpornhub @styles-dolan @evergreendolan @someonetogray @vintagedolan @prettyboydolan​ @dolansficsandpics​ @graysavant​ @baby-turtles​

Kathleen Monica Walker would cock her head to the side and lose herself in confused thoughts when the other little girls in her class would snicker and giggle about boys on the playground. Once, her childhood best friend, Tabby, pretended to marry her next-door neighbor while dressed in a Cinderella Halloween costume with a pillow-case veil. Kathleen was the maid of honor, donned in a yellow Easter dress with her short, black bob freshly brushed. Kathleen beamed at her best friend, soaking in the happiness of the moment, during their second-grade backyard wedding.

After a nervous, giggly kiss and a make-believe tea party, Tabby came to Kathleen. “Thank you for being here on my special day,” Tabby pushed her nose up as she talked, thinking it made her look more grown up.

Kathleen laughed heartedly, seeing through her friend’s ruse at age seven. “You look so pretty,” she gushed, admiring the tin foil twinkles under the netting of the Cinderella costume. “I do.” Tabby decided haughtily. Tabby wasn’t very good at making friends, they all found her theatrical; but Kathleen understood that Tabby was constantly performing the most climatic scene in the movie that was her life. “And one day, you’ll get married and I’ll be there for your special day” Tabby posed with her hands on her hips. Kathleen laughed, scrunching her nose into her face. She matched Tabby’s pose: putting her hands on her hips and angling her upper body, “Me? Married?” Kathleen put a mocking hand in front of her mouth, “I’ll get married when I run out of books to read.” Kathleen nodded her head in certainty.

At the time of that conversation, Kathleen was proudly working her way through the Ramona and Beezus series. A few years later, she promoted her collection to Harry Potter. Not soon after that, she plunged into the classics: Moby Dick, Little Women, Tom Sawyer, and Jane Eyre. Her love of pleasure reading transformed into deep dive into engineering textbooks and academic journals.

Staying true to her words at age seven, Kate kept herself busy with intellectual pursuits when over girls her age were obsessing over passing notes in class, kissing boys under the bleachers, and picking prom dresses.  She convinced herself frivolous relationships were not a natural part of her being: she was a creature of logic who had a deep appreciation for contemplative thought. In truth, her commitment to academic topics turned her into a late bloomer when it came to social situations. In her lack of development, she often fell inward: trusting her own intuition, facts, and reasoning above all else.

In the present moment, logic failed Kate. There was nothing logical about the look in Grayson’s eyes. There was nothing logical about the feeling his skin sparked against her fingers as she cupped his face. There was absolutely nothing logical about Grayson Dolan professing his love for her on the beach where they met as the sunset on a picturesque LA behind them.

Kate inhaled softly, never breaking Grayson’s gaze. Why did his eyes look so beautiful when they were a little wet? The gold flecks in his eyes twinkled like small reminders of the sunset behind them. His eyes played every word he ever said to her and every moment they ever shared. Out of all the beautiful things Grayson said to her, Kate had never fully expressed her appreciation for him.

She was awkward, not a natural people person. She was petite and disabled in a large, bustling world that was not made for her. She was hyper logical, in a world where emotions ran rampant around her. Grayson Dolan made her forget all of that. Grayson Dolan’s gold-flecked eyes felt like home.

A small sob got caught in Kate’s inhale when she tried to speak. Her eyes lashes fluttered, begging to hold onto Grayson’s gaze forever. She squeezed his one hand tightly, never wanting to let it go. She thumbed his cheekbone gently. With a breaking voice, she drew out, “I love you too.” They moved at the same time, crashing their lips together. Grayson grabbed her, pulling her small body close to his. Kate’s hand moved up to his hair, tugging gently at the locks that framed his face. Grayson’s heart beat made dauntless bounds; Kate recognized the rhythmic pattern against her chest. Grayson’s lips tasted like honey as his mouth moved gingerly against hers. Her sweet, citrus scent intoxicated his nostrils. She fit perfectly inside of his arms, made for him to just peer his head down and meet her lips. Grayson’s heart nearly leaped out of his chest. Every wound up emotion inside of him disintegrated as he channeled ever last ounce of energy into cherishing her. Grayson melted into the moment. He hands moved over her curves, wanting to commit every detail of his moment to memory. The shadows of her face were so close to his that he could breathe in her fragarance, and then her tongue was in his mouth. In truth, Grayson was not expecting her tongue: he only wanted to get drunk on the delight of feeling her plush mouth rest on his. But Grayson did not catch even a glimpse of her face, while Kate’s tongue made daring movements. She reached for him with every part of her being. Her tongue swept across Grayson’s mouth while his grip on her tightened, bringing her in as a part of him.

Grayson’s heart beat faster and faster, growing more intoxicated by her with each passing second. Together, their lips blossomed like a flower. Kate pulled away first, delicately moving her lips off of his. Grayson nestled his head lower, brushing the tip of his nose against hers: silently asking her for more. Grayson’s breathing slowed while the sound of the waves crashing on the shore slowly brought him back to reality.

Kate pulled back further, but keeping herself in Grayson’s arms. From her small stature, she tilted her face to look up at him. The gold flecks in his eyes reflected the sunset next to them. Kate exhaled slowly before drawing out, “But—”

Grayson’s heart fell. His eyes widened. He swallowed a large gulp in his throat. But? But what? There were not buts when you were in love. He loved her. She loved him. They loved each other. They were in love. There were no buts in love.

“We do need to talk,” Kate thumbed his shoulder slowly, “About how to make me a part of your life.”

Grayson nodded, more quickly than he intended to, “I want you to be a part of my life”.

“You were right, privacy is important to you,” she started, “But celebrating us is important to me. So let me tell my mom and my friends, just like you tell yours. “Grayson shifted his head to the side, a dubious shadow forming underneath his cheekbone. “We keep it off social media, the internet. Until you make the call that you’re ready for that.”  

Grayson nodded slowly, swallowing hard. His grip on her tightened as he found words. Although not a novice with women, Grayson was practically a virgin in the realm of conducting quality conversation to better a relationship. “I like that. But—” Was that the word of the day? “Can we just tell close friends? Both of us, not just you.” He licked his lips, “Trust is an important thing. But I think you’re right. Celebrating us is important to me too.” He brushed gently swept some of her hair behind her ear, “I want to celebrate you every day.” She smiled in a thin line up at him, her cheeks lifting. Grayson pulled her in again, kissing her sweetly. Kate left the smooch, with a wide smile and bright eyes. Grayson’s heart swelled. He could look at this scene forever: the woman he loved, dark tendrils swaying in the wind, bright smile, shiny eyes, surrounded by a beautiful California sunset on the beach.

Grayson’s heart swelled throughout the night. She was the most beautiful woman in the world, and she was sitting on the other side of a beach towel eating a lettuce wrap. Grayson’s soul felt rejuvenated, better than it had felt in so long. Only a few weeks earlier, Grayson sat on that exact beach and wallowed in growing anxieties about his future, family, and the past. That evening, he sat on the beach with a wide smile and full heart.

He looked over his shoulder, admiring the way the waves hit the shore. He was reminded of the image of his mother, sister, and brother relaxing on that beach that came to him a few weeks ago. But this time, he saw a fourth figure in his imagination. In his mind’s eye, he pictured Kate’s dainty frame on the sand, helping Ethan build a sandcastle. Grayson would saunter back from the waves, board in hand, and place a quick, salty kiss on her lips before starting to dry himself off. In his heart, he placed her beside his most important people.

They were in love. With their picnic put away, the moon rose over their heads as the start of night fell over LA. Kate laid back on their towel, Grayson’s figure hovering over her. He kissed her sweetly, stopping every few minutes to run a hand through her hair. He kissed her again, mumbling something about how she was beautiful.

Kate kissed the tip of his nose sweetly. Grayson’s eyes closed in a peaceful state. She slipped a hand through his hair. Her body absorbed the warmth emanating from him. “I love you,” her voice was just above a whisper. Grayson’s eyes opened gently, to meet her adoring gaze. Grayson’s voice held a emphatic sureness, “I love you too.”

Grayson’s head bent down to meet her lips with his plush ones. He deepened their embrace when she pulled his body closer to her. Kate’s tongue gently slid across Grayson’s bottom lip, asking for permission. He opened for her and began to run his hands along her body. She clutched his back, dragging her fingers along the fabric of his shirt. Grayson fingered the hem of her skirt while he softly bit her bottom lip. She let out a small moan and drew in a breath. His hand slipped up her skirt and grabbed at her thighs.

Kate trapped his bottom lip between hers. One of her hands clutched a part of his shirt, crinkling the fabric against his back; while the hand got lost in his hair. Kate sucked on his bottom lip gently while Grayson’s hand climbed up her thighs before his thumb looped through the waist band of her panties. Grayson pulled back suddenly, realizing where he was.

He exhaled lowly and licked his lips, “Do you...I mean..would you?” Kate nodded softly, not needing him to finish, “Let’s go back to your place.”

Grayson had never packed a picnic so fast in his life. The second Kate finished her sentence, Grayson lifted off of her and began putting plates and cups back in the cooler they came from. He kept an arm around her as they walked up the beach, bending down occasionally to place stray kisses on her temple.

Kate wondered if her outward smile would ever match her inward one. Grayson made her want to wear a Cinderella costume and dance around in her backyard, like Taddy had done when they were seven. Grayson made her ever emotion leap in a whimsical euphoria.

Kate’s brow furrowed, not seeing Grayson’s van. She looked up at him curiously, “Did you drive here?” Grayson nodded and pulled a set of keys from his pocket, “Yeah.” He clicked a button on the keys and a black Porsche lit up from across the parking lot. Kate chucked to herself softly, “What happened to the van?” Grayson shrugged, blushing slightly, “I sold it” Kate shook her head softly, assuming fancy cars must be one of the perks of dating a guy like Grayson.

Grayson nearly broke the speed limit. The car ride back to his rental was spent with one hand firmly on Kate’s thigh, as he raced through the LA freeway, with Kid Cudi playing through his speakers. They shared the car ride: drunk and high off love and happiness.

Their love and happiness carried them across the threshold of Grayson’s rental. The white, beachy décor didn’t phase Kate this time because her focus was exacted on Grayson’s kiss. Somewhere between the living room and kitchen, Grayson fixed an arm under Kate’s knees and swept her off her feet. Kate giggled and let out a small “oop” but kept her lips on his. He reveled in carrying her to his bedroom: he adored how her small frame fit perfectly in his arms.

In a gentle movement, he laid her on his bed. It was there, in his bed, on that warm August night, that Grayson Dolan made love to Kathleen Walker for the first time.

**

Grayson’s eyes flickered open. He quickly shut them, afraid of the sting of the morning light. His mind was hazy from sleep and partially still drunk from the emotional high of last night. He tightened his grip, pulling his sleeping partner closer to him. He breathed in Kate’s sweet, citrus scent, slightly diluted in the smell of his sheets. With his eyes closed, he smiled wide. Kate let out a small snore and curled up inside of his arms.

Grayson kissed the top of her head, “I love you” he whispered. He loved her. Completely, utterly, and with all of his being. She was the soft to his tough. She was the smart to his dumb. She was everything he had ever hoped to find and more. To Grayson, love was waking up in his bed and smelling her sweet scent, hearing her gentle snores, feeling her body curled against him, tasting last night’s kisses mixed with sleep, and seeing her serene, angelic face dreaming next to him. To Grayson, this moment defined love. 

On that early morning, with just a few rays of light peering through the window, Grayson imagined what his mother would say she met Kate. He thought about what his father would like if he were still alive; the thought settled in Grayson’s mind as he squeezed his sleeping girlfriend once more.

This second squeeze unearthed a groan from Kate, who’s eyes were beginning to flutter open. Half asleep, she found Grayson’s smile before snuggling into his chest and wrapping her legs around his waist, “G’Morning.” How was her sleepy voice this cute? Grayson chucked and placed another kiss on the top of her head, “Good Morning Angel.” He stroked her bare shoulder with his rough hand. Kate removed her head from the crook of his neck and shook it softly, “No, not that one.” Grayson’s brows furrowed in confusion, his head tilted to the side. Kate explained, “Too religious. Not good for sexy time. But nice try.” She shrugged softly.

Grayson chucked and licked his lips, “I’ll keep trying.” He kissed her gently, hovering over her lips before pulling back. A wide smirk found his face, “I did like what you were calling me last night”

Kate’s face turned a humorous shade of red. She let out an exasperated giggle and shook her head. She bit her lip softly, suddenly aware of how intertwined her naked body was with Grayson’s. The heat from his chest emanated onto her skin.

Grayson seemingly became aware of this fact at the exact same moment, because one of his arms reached down to fondle her ass while the other reached into her hair, pulling her closer for a deep kiss. Kate responded by burying her fingers in his hair while wrapping a leg across his waist. Grayson gave her sleepy, sloppy kisses while his hands roamed her figure: memories from last night flooding his brain.

What happened next would go down in history as problematic.

Without looking, Grayson shuffled a condom off of his nightstand. He made quick work of putting it on and ravishing her. It wasn’t until he had finished that Kate felt an unfamiliar stream hit her body. She looked down, and Grayson followed her gaze to see his orgasm spilling out of her, onto his bed, and off of their broken condom.

They were still for a moment processing this. Kate moved first, shimmying herself away from him and picking up a pair of his sweatpants from the floor. “We need to go,” she grumbled looking for a shirt, “take care of this.” Grayson nodded and began finding his underwear from the floor. He always wanted to be a father, but not like this.

***

The CVS fluorescent lights beckoned the young couple in, like a treacherous refuge for their current dilemma. Kate moved swiftly, Grayson following right behind her. As they stepped over the pharmacy threshold, Grayson reached for Kate’s hand. Her supple skin felt clammy to his touch. A far part of Grayson’s mind called back to the silky, tender feeling of her skin under his last night. His memories of this morning were already tainted in wicked stains.

His heart hurt. His heart called out to her. His heart hung heavy in his chest with the weight of the morning. He eyed her figure, hurrying across the CVS entrance. Her usual confident stride was replaced with slump shoulders and a tense spine: something in this posture eventuated her limp. Her hair fell onto her shoulders in hectic, unruly mess. Grayson’s mouth pulled into a tight line; he couldn’t bare to see her this way. He wanted to do something for her. He wanted, so desperately, to make this better for her.

Grayson squeezed her hand gently and pulled her back toward him. He stopped her from continuing her furious saunter across the CVS. Kate looked up at him, her brows furrowed to the middle of her forward as she gave him a hard stare. He nodded at the display in front of him, his words came out slowly and softly “Do you want a snack or something? You didn’t eat breakfast..”

Kate’s eyes drooped at the sides. The jaw she hadn’t realized she had been clenching unwound and softened. She brushed a gentle thumb across the back of Grayson’s hand. He was sweet. At his core, he was sweet. And that’s why she fell in love with him. Kate nodded, “Yeah that’s a good idea.” Her words were an amalgamation of low breaths. She bit her lip softly while she reached out a hesitant hand to choose a bag of pretzel sticks. She held out the package, tentatively to Grayson. Grayson nodded softly and took the bag from her. He gave her a soft smile that shattered her in that moment. Kate felt tears well into her eyes as the gravity of the morning dug a stake in her heart. Grayson’s instinctively wrapped his arms around her, he buried his face in her hair. Her petite shape fit perfectly into his large frame.  He placed a few gentle kisses onto the top of her head. “It’ll be okay,” he squeezed her gently from within his embrace. He placed another kiss on the top of her and mumbled, “I promise it’ll be okay.”

Kate’s breathing steadied as she slowly pulled away from Grayson. She nodded and looked up at him, the gold flecks of his eyes still holding all the warmth of his hug. She opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by an ear shattering screech.

From the other side of the aisle, a girl no older than 14 was invoking a jarring, piercing, harsh noise from within the depths of her throat. The uproar lacked the low bawl of pain, but embodied every trait of a frenzied, shrill call of adoration. The second Grayson recognized his own name in the girl’s scream was the same second Kate retreated from his personal space. She took a large step backward, nearly knocking her head on a Chapstick display.

Kate did not stick around. Grayson lingered in front of the snack aisle, trying to kindly, but quickly, appease his fan. Kate took large strides towards her desired aisle, not stopping to look for Grayson’s head. She frantically scanned different pill boxes, swallowing hard between breaths. She swiped a box from the shelf and bolted for the register.

From the other side of the store, Grayson surveyed his surroundings. The fan strolled along, elated with a picture and a conversation. Grayson’s eyes darted between ends of the store before locking on a scurrying mess of black hair.

Kate slammed her credit card down on the counter and tangled her hands in her hair. The girl at the register didn’t comment on her purchase. Kate exhaled and slightly thanked her for it. She reached into a cooler next to the register and picked up the top bottle of Gatorade, “Add this too” Kate remarked.

Grayson reached the registered as Kate crossed the threshold for the second time, hurrying into the parking lot. Even with her limp, Grayson struggled to catch up to her. He jogged slightly, trying to reach her side in the parking lot. As she approached his Porsche, he clicked his keys to open the door: still trailing her.

Kate swung the passenger door of Grayson’s Porshe open, without even thinking to tell him to unlock it. She heavily landed in the seat and began to fumble with the plastic bag. The bag erupted in a shrill raucous of noise while Grayson entered through the driver’s side of the car. He gulped hard: his teeth shook as uneasy streams of air passed between them. He should help her. He should say something. He should know what to do right now. Be a man Grayson, be a man.

Kate didn’t pay him any attention, having already torn through the plastic bag and in the process of frantically ripping the packaging open. The heat safe plastic broke into fragmented shards, piercing the back of her hand and inviting the smallest drip of blood. Kate let out rapid exhalations, using her teeth to get through the cardboard box and reveal a single, tiny white pill. She placed it in her hand, the stinging from the cut of the box fading into the background of her mind.

She felt faint. All of her blood rushed to her head. Her rapid exhalations gave way to shallow breaths.

Grayson stared: his eyes flickering between her and the pill.

Kate threw her head back. She cupped her mouth in her hand. She slipped the pill between her lips.

Kate’s head rested against the headrest while she spun the cap on the Gatorade bottle and flooded her mouth. She poured it into her mouth, letting it wash over every piece of her insides. She tried to feel for the pill in her mouth, but decided drowning it in Gatorade until it dived into her throat.

She lunched forward, coughing violently and spewing a gentle layer of Gatorade onto the dashboard of Grayson’s Porsche.  

She leaned back again, still reaching for breathes. The Gatorade bottle fell into Grayson’s cup holder as Kate’s small fingers relinquished it. She sat in a pile of plastic shreds, a broken cardboard box, a plastic CVS bag, and a bunch of splashed Gatorade in her boyfriend’s Porsche.

“I’m sorry,” Grayson’s voice escaped his lips as a frightful mew. He looked at Kate, her gaze staring off in the distance. He noticed the heavy way her chest heaved to pull in small breaths. His mind flashed back to some of his most trying moments. A younger Grayson didn’t believe in anxiety attacks: the current one knew them much too well. His lips pulled tight into his face, “I’m so sorry.” Kate’s pupils reached the edge of her eyes as she looked over at him. “Just-“ she heaved, “get us-“ she puffed our an exhalation-“home.”

The ride back to Grayson’s rental was fraught with a heavy, tense silence. Grayson longed for the feelings last night brought him: racing through the LA freeway with the radio playing and his hand firmly on Kate’s thigh. He glanced over at her; Kate’s small frame appeared be shrinking into his car seat. Grayson’s sweatpants and t-shirt draped over her body, and her unbrushed hair fell in messy tangles on her shoulders. She was still beautiful though; she was always beautiful. Grayson’s heart begged to see her round cheeks bounce into a wide smile for him.

Kate collapsed on Grayson’s couch soon after arriving. Grayson stood hesitantly in front of her, licking his lips and exhaling softly. Kate closed her eyes back and took her face in her hands, letting out a small groan. Grayson leaned against the arm of the couch, looking down at her, “I’m sorry for this morning.” He moved his hands outwardly while he talked, “I don’t know how it happened. It won’t—” “It’s fine Grayson,” Kate let out a small groan while she finished his name. She sat up slight, propping herself up to look at him. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Grayson’s heart stammered when he saw her eyes fill with tears. He leaned down on the couch, trying to put an arm around her. She swatted it away. He sat straight up, alarmed and going dry at the mouth.

Kate swung her legs around, sitting up before taking in a breath and standing. “I can’t do this Gray.” She looked at her feet, biting her lip and shaking her head. Grayson gnawed at his bottom lip, “Do what?” Kate let out a loud exhale and shook her head, still not looking him in the eye. Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, “Us” her voice was barely a whisper, “I can’t do us Gray.” Grayson’s face fell. His eyes darted around the room: trying to find an answer where there wasn’t one. His tongue felt heavy and thick. He opened his mouth to speak and dragged it around his lips, “This scared me too…but …let’s not …do anything…” he bit his lip sharply between his teeth, “drastic.” His statement nearly sounded like a question. Kate shook her head quickly and furiously: as if she was trying to shake off a thousand spiders. “Did you see her in there?” She looked up at him now; Grayson’s mind went blank at the sight of large, dewy tears teasing the corners of her eyes. “That girl? Did you see her?” Grayson’s jaw clenched. He swallowed hard, suddenly becoming aware of the tightness in his chest. “What about her?” His voice was low, but steady.

This was clearly not the response Kate was looking for because she pulled her face into her hands and abruptly turned to face the door. She shook her head and let out an exasperated sound. She looked back at Grayson, tears flowing down her cheeks. “You don’t get it,” her throat played with chokes and sobs while she spoke, “It’s so easy to love you but so hard to love your world.”

“Being yours means submitting myself to being,” something like a depressed chuckle left her lips while she used air quotes “’Grayson Dolan’s girlfriend.”  She sat down on the coffee table, tugging at the hem of Grayson’s shirt. Her tears had become a steady river across her face, “You can’t go anywhere without being recognized, because you’ll always belong to millions of people: even when you belong to me. How can I be my own woman when I’ll be an extension of you purely because of what you do for a living?” Grayson chest constricted. His heart left his body, escaping the terrible moment. He held in breaths, keeping his jaw clenched. He wanted so desperately hold her and tell her he loved her.

Kate must have known what he was thinking because she continued with, “And I love you Grayson, I really do. But you’re asking me to be something that’s not myself. I’ve worked hard to get where I am! What?! Do you want me to throw it away?! You couldn’t be there for me this morning!” Her voice escalated to the point of screaming, “You couldn’t be there for me at all! And if you can’t spare a half hour to get me Plan B! What can I expect out of you!” A tear balled up on the side of Grayson’s eyes. “You can expect me to love you,” he was speaking without thinking now, “You can expect me to be proud of you. You can expect me to do everything I can when we’re together—” “Don’t give me that bullshit” Kate shook her head, his words drawing a knife through Grayson’s chest. “I know you think you can solve this with romance and affection, but this isn’t that kind of problem Grayson.” “THEN WHAT KIND OF PROBLEM IS IT?” Grayson held out his palms from where he sat on the couch. His eyes went wide, the single tear had evaporated into a stare of tumultuous pain.

Kate shook her head, “Your world wasn’t made for someone like me. Even though you were made for me.” Her voice wavered between crests of anger and troughs of sadness.

“You can’t give up on me the day after you tell me you love me.” Grayson’s body was stoic, his shoulders were square while he hands fell in his lap, but his voice held metric tons of sadness. His heart wanted to grow arms and hold her close.

“I do love you Gray,” Kate reached a handout to his, “I really love you.” Her voice was soft but exhausted. All of her energy had been depleted by screaming at him a few minutes earlier, “It’s just…” she searched for words in what must have been the longest thirty seconds Grayson ever experienced, “I’m being selfish because I’ve been in a relationship with myself for 22 years, and that comes before my relationship with you.” She squeezed his hands before pulling away from him, brushing tears from her eyes, “I wouldn’t like myself if millions of people saw me as an object” she said it like a cuss word “attached to you….I’m not giving up on you Grayson, I’m just choosing the person I want to be over the person I would hate to become.”

  A/N: If you’re one of the people who has been keeping up with all ten parts, I can not thank you enough! I love seeing your reactions after you post! I know this part had a lot, so please tell me what you loved and hated! 

[xamassed]

｢ @bucketfullofocs​  ｣

A week had maybe passed since Sarah had landed in the Devildom, and quite honestly she was just rolling with - weirder things had happened. But she could sew again! And use her magic - but more importantly, she could sew again! So she was slowly working her way through sweaters for each of the brothers. Beelzebub's was the easiest to come with an idea for, and so his was finished first. With a grin and a laugh, she runs through the House of Lamantation looking for the tall demon. When she finally locates him, she comes to a quick stop to avoid slamming right into his chest.

"Beel! I made you a sweater~~! Let me know if it's tight anywhere, okay? I can totally adjust it if you need it!" She pulls the sweater out from her back and offers it to him - a well made, thick-fabric sweater meant to keep him warm and cozy. But the best part was that it was made to look like a large burger, including little sesame seed sequins.

The snacking behemoth had only just stepped out of the kitchen when he heard his name drifting down the corridor. Violet eyes blinked blearily as he turned to greet the owner of said voice, her chipper tone and clear excitement tugging at his curiosity.

      ‘ If she’s this excited, could it be more food? ’

He had already cleared the cabinets, the pantry and the fridge, and still his stomach gurgled nosily at the prospect of more food. And when it was revealed that her eagerness was due to clothes, his stomach growled louder still in disappointment.

“Wait, you.  .  . made this?” For a flicker of a second, he ignored his needy stomach to marvel at the sweater she unfurled in front of him. The colors confounded him for a moment, and he made to ask why, until it hit him — the oozing yellow of cheese, the crisp green of lettuce, the char-broiled brown of cooked meat and the soft beige of toasted buns. Oh, and did he see a few cheeky strips of bacon there near the bottom most hem?

His eyes widened in both awe and surprise, and it took him another tick of time more to process that it was for him to wear.

Beelzebub almost wished it were an actual cheeseburger, but he would gratefully accept the sweater into his large hands. Carefully, he rubbed his thumb against the material, the smallest and cutest hint of a smile pulling up at his lips.

“Hang on. Can you hold this for me?” Before she could answer, he handed the sweater back. His jacket and the dark shirt underneath were peeled away soon after, and he seemed not the least bit concerned that he was stripping in the middle of an open space. Didn’t matter, anyway — the only ones that would find him were his brothers, and it wasn’t as if he planned on staying shirtless long.

The sweater was tugged on, the warmth and sentiment behind it putting a gleeful flutter in his chest. No one had ever made him a whole sweater before! Asmodeus had bought him clothes before, but he realized now that it was far more special that it came from her hands and her heart.

Flushed with gratitude, Beelzebub ran his hands over the front of the sweater, smoothing out the wrinkles and getting a better feel for how it fit. It wasn’t too tight or too suffocating around the collar, and it didn’t hang over his fingers when he lowered his arms. Few things were more annoying than his clothes getting in the way of his eating.

“Feels nice. It’s not too tight either.” His smile grew a smidge brighter, and his arms opened. For someone so large, he moved quick, crushing Sarah in a hug that had her pinned to his chest. “It’s not a snack, but I like it!”

[impala-dreamer]

Midnight Movie Marathon

SPN FanFic

~Dean finally gets some time alone to kick back in his mancave and watch his favorite movies on the tube, only, he comes to find... he's not actually alone...~

Dean x Reader

3,295 Words

Warnings: NSFW. Masturbation. Voyeurism. Teensy bit of Dom!Dean, but not really. Awkward, Blushy!Dean. Multiple, Wet Orgasms. Oral. Doggy. Loads of... ahem... cum. Enjoy!

Feedback is Gold ~ My Masterlist ~ Become A Patreon

Dean smiled proudly as he looked down at his creation. 

The bread was crisp, the lettuce shredded to perfection, just a hint of tomato, and turkey for days. Sam would have rolled his eyes at the good three inches of sliced turkey and deli Swiss cheese that towered inside his sandwich, but Sammy wasn’t there. 

Dean was alone for once. The Bunker was empty. He was happy. He was gonna sit in his man cave, eat his impossibly perfect sandwich, drink some beer, and watch the Back to the Future marathon on TBS. 

Just so he didn’t have to get up for a while, Dean tucked four beers under his left arm and a fresh bag of chips under the other. He was prepared. 

He was not, however, prepared to find that he was not alone, and that his Fortress of Deanitude had another occupant. 

Y/N was huddled underneath her fuzzy purple blanket, sitting in his favorite recliner. 

“Oh, hey, Dean,” she mumbled softly when he came in, jumping a bit as if he had startled her. 

“Hey,” he sighed back, realizing that his alone time was null and void. “Didn’t realize anyone else was around.”

Y/N bit her lip and scooted upwards a bit. Her knees dropped and the blanket shifted down from underneath her chin, exposing a bit of her plain white tee. She swallowed hard and took a breath. “Neither did I.” She smiled but found it hard to make eye contact. “Thought you were going out with Sam.”

Dean clicked his tongue and sat down on the couch across the way. Since the addition of more occupants to the Bunker, they’d added a few more seats, though the lazy boy on the right was still his favorite. “Was gonna say the same to you.” He set the sandwich down next to him and the chips by its side. 

“Nah, I… opted for some quiet time,” she said meekly.

Dean pursed his lips and shrugged. “Same.” Three of the beers lined up at his feet and he extended the fourth towards Y/N in offering. 

Her hands were still hidden beneath the blanket and she shook her head. “No thanks. I’m good.” 

“Cool.” 

The pair fell silent for a while and Dean cracked open a bottle. The television glowed as the channel came back from commercial and he grinned. 

“I didn’t miss it!” 

Y/N looked over with a smile. “Nope. Just started like five minutes ago.”

Dean took a sip of beer and sat back, spreading his knees as he got comfortable on the couch. “I didn’t know you liked these movies.”

“How dare you,” Y/N gasped in mock disgust. “Why don’t you make like a tree and get out of here?”

Dean laughed at her quote, nearly spitting beer back into the bottle. “OK, OK,” he chuckled, “my apologies.”  

Y/N nodded and then looked away, snuggling back down underneath her blanket. Dean turned his attention to the screen as well and popped open the bag of Lays. 

The movie was comforting and familiar, and they both watched quietly, occasionally laughing over Dean’s crunching. Y/N had gone utterly silent, her knees back up, the blanket tented over her. 

It was an odd way to sit, but Dean only eyed her vaguely as he picked up his sandwich, turning it around to find the perfect place to sink his teeth. Just as he spied the spot, Y/N took a heavy breath that caught his attention. His eyes floated over to her and she stretched backwards in slow motion, her eyes fluttering shut as her tongue darted out to cover her bottom lip.

Dean stared for a moment, wondering if he was just imagining things, but Y/N’s shoulders shuddered so violently for a moment that he was sure he wasn’t wrong. 

The sandwich hung in limbo before his lips. His jaw dropped but caught no food. His eyes grew huge with curiosity, and a bit of lettuce cascaded down into his lap like tinker tape at a parade. 

“Uh, Y/N?” 

She startled and sat up a bit, her cheeks flushing as she turned her face to his. “What’s up?” Her voice cracked and her lips shook. 

“I was gonna ask you that,” he said slowly, his eyes sliding down the plush blanket. “You OK over there?” 

The smirk was beginning to light his lips, but Y/N bit her lip and turned back to the movie. “I’m fine.”

“Uh huh…”

Her head snapped back. “What do you mean, ‘uh huh’?”

Dean carefully placed his sandwich back on the plate in his lap and licked a bit of mayo from his middle finger. “I know what you’re doing over there.”

Her eyes widened slightly as she tried to retain her attitude. “I’m watching a movie.” 

“Bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

Dean leaned in, not caring that his sandwich was crushed momentarily. “You’re clickin’ the mouse, aren’tcha?” 

Y/N’s jaw dropped and she stammered to find a reply. “That’s… what! Who… you’re...no. Ew.”

Dean nodded, a knowing smile polishing his lips. “Oh, yes you are. I know that face. You’re petting the cat.” She scoffed. “You’re dialing the rotary phone.” She gagged. “You’re choking the hot dog…”

“OK!” Y/N hollered, sitting up fully and ripping a hand out from under the blanket to wag at him. “First of all, I don’t have a hot dog to choke, as you’re well aware. Secondly… you’re disgusting.” 

Dean licked his lips and zoned in on her scolding digit that was clearly shining with wetness. “Am I? I’m not the one rubbing one out to Back to the Future.”

Y/N huffed. “I’m not ru- I wasn’t… You’re not supposed to be here!”

“This is my room!” Dean laughed, sitting back in amazement. 

“It’s a common area!”

“You’re even in my chair!” 

“You want me to leave? Fine!” Y/N stood up in a huff, kicking the foot of the recliner down hard with her heels and letting the blanket fall away. Beneath it, she was half naked, pale gray cotton panties peeking out from under her shirt hem. And from what Dean could see… they were soaked. 

His gaze fell to the darkened cotton and his mouth watered. “H-how long you been in here?” he said with a gulp. 

She followed his stare down to her thighs and clenched them together, quickly picking up the blanket to cover herself. “I… well… you weren’t supposed to be here,” she said again, a slight whimper in her voice. 

His lip was mysteriously snagged between his teeth, pulled there by some magical force. It popped out slowly as he looked up at her. “I can go,” he said softly, voice just as strained as hers. “Or…”

Y/N backed up slowly and let the blanket fall down a bit, exposing the tops of her thighs again. “Or?”

Dean let out a heated breath and went for it. “Or you could...keep going.” The smirk was on his lips but not in his voice; it wavered a bit at the end, unsure how she’d react. 

“Oh…” She let out a breath and chewed her cheek as she moved back to the chair. There was a rhythm to her movements now, a look in her eye that made Dean relax and throb at the same time. “And what are you going to do?” Y/N asked softly, her lips curling around each word as her eyes narrowed upon him. “Watch?”

An enormous lump lodged itself in Dean’s throat and he coughed around it, unable to breathe for a long second. “Uh…yeah,” he finally confirmed, doing his best to control the color of his cheeks but failing miserably. 

Y/N smiled at the bright pink of his face and flicked her wrist, sending the blanket billowing down to the floor like a parachute. “What would you like to see, Dean?” she teased, lifting her fingers to the bottom hem of her shirt. 

His eyes fell to her thighs as she curled the fabric around her fingers slowly. “Th-that would be nice…”

She laughed sweetly. “Maybe this?” The shirt rose a little higher and Dean gasped at the sight of her panties in full. Wet, thin, perfect. 

“Yeah. That.” 

���These?” 

Her nipples were hard, breasts full and delicious as they fell free of the shirt. Y/N pulled it fully away and threw it at him. 

“Oh, those too,” he drooled, barely lifting his hands to catch the shirt as it smacked him in the face. 

Hooking her thumbs in the elastic of her panties, Y/N wiggled her hips a bit, daring him to ask to see more. 

Dean stopped her. 

“Leave them on,” he whispered, leaning forward, gaze still transfixed by the dark gray cotton. 

Y/N blushed and nodded. "OK...” Her hands fell to hang by her sides, patiently waiting.

When she didn't move for a while, Dean took a giant leap, sucked in a deep breath and said firmly, "Get back on the chair."

Y/N sighed deeply and smiled. 

Dean watched in happy amazement as Y/N backed up to the recliner and sat down, never once taking her eyes off of him. They'd fooled around a few times, but it was always Trench Love, this was something else, something…

"Awesome," he whispered under his breath, mind frantic to catch up with reality. As Y/N waited, he cleared his throat and pressed on. "Turn towards me and spread your legs. Hook one over the side."

Y/N immediately moved, gracefully shifting in the cushioned chair and spreading her legs wide. Dean leaned his elbows on his knees and took in the sight, his jeans growing tighter by the second. 

"What now...Sir?" Y/N teased, slowly testing out the word, watching carefully as Dean's emerald eyes ran the course of understanding. She'd always wondered about him…

He sat back and slung one arm casually over the back of the couch. "Show me what made those panties so wet." He hit the T hard and he swore it made her shiver just a tiny bit.

Y/N bit her lip as she complied, slowly lifting her hands to paw at her tits. They fit so perfectly in her hands, fingers digging into the soft flesh of each globe. Her eyes rolled when she tugged hard on her nipples and Dean had to readjust his seat.

"That's nice, Y/N," he said, voice smooth and deep. "But that's not what you were doing when I walked in here."

She licked her lips and lifted a sexy eyebrow, making sure to take her time. She dragged her hand slowly down her bare tummy, nails scratching gently, and turned her fingers downwards to lay against her panties. 

Dean watched on as she pushed at the crotch of the wet cotton, shoulders trembling as the cool cloth rubbed her flesh. She let her eyes fall closed as she rocked her hips steadily up against her hand, fingers teasing her hole as her clit met the heel of her hand.

She moaned softly.

"That's it," Dean growled. "That's the face you were making when I got here."

His voice made her legs tense and the soft flesh of her inner thighs shook temptingly, but Dean held firm. 

"Feel good?"

"Yeah," she breathed. "Feels so good…" Her back arched off the side of the chair and her toes curled under.

Dean's right hand slid to his thigh, thick thumb teasing the line of his erection through the denim as he stared. "You're not gonna cum, are you?"

Her voice was as shaky as her legs. "I...I...fuck."

Dean chewed his lip and let it pop out slowly as his hand moved over another inch. "How 'bout you slip those fingers underneath?" 

Y/N sighed in relief and then mewed as her hand touched skin, fingers dipping into the slick heat of her hungry cunt. "Fuck! So wet. Oh my God, Dean."

He palmed his dick, pushing down hard and rolling his hips. "Nice and tight, baby?"

The gravel in his words made her melt. "Yeah," she gasped, pumping her fingers roughly. "So tight. Fuck!"

He watched her hand move beneath the gray, the speed increasing as her breath caught in her throat. She was ready to pop. He curled his hand around his dick and swallowed the mess of drool in his mouth.

"Go ahead, Y/N," he said gently. "Cum nice and hard for me."

She let out a cry through clenched teeth and Dean's jaw hung as her body shook. The dark patch of gray grew wider and Y/N seemed to settle, but her hand kept going.

"Dean," she whimpered. "I need…I…" Her head lifted and she met his gaze with pleading eyes. 

His bottom lip quivered. "What, baby, tell me what you need."

She growled in frustration and rubbed at her swollen clit, wet fingers sliding easily. "Need to cum again. Fuck!" Her legs closed inwards and her entire body pulsed with pleasure. 

"Do it!" He tried to keep the enthusiasm at a minimum but to hell with looking cool. This was hot as fuck. 

"Gahh!" Y/N shouted as she came again and a stream of wetness soaked through her panties and dribbled onto the floor. 

Dean lost his mind. "Fuck. Did you just?"

Y/N whined desperately. "Yeah…" She twisted on the chair and kept rubbing. "Need...more. Shit."

"F-fuck. Do it." He pushed up against his hand and moaned, his cock painfully full. "Let me see."

Y/N wiggled around, struggling to peel the soaked cotton from her body, nearly falling off of the chair in the process. 

"Don't hurt yourself, Y/N…"

"Shut up, Dean!" Back in place, she opened her knees wide and spread her pussy lips with two fingers, moaning as the cool air hit her. 

"Fuck, you're a mess." He gave in, opening his belt. Her cunt was glistening, dripping, calling to him, but he kept his seat.

"Dean," she breathed, chest heaving as she shoved three fingers deep inside.

"I'm here, baby," he assured, yanking leather from metal.

"Dean…" Her body locked tight as she frantically fucked her pussy, fingers curling deep. 

"Do it!" He popped his button.

"Fuck!" Toes and shoulders curled inwards as she came, squirting like a fountain, cum splashing down onto the floor in a little puddle of release. 

Dean moaned loudly and ripped his zipper down. "Shit!"

Y/N didn't stop. She pumped even faster, other hand slapping at her aching clit until the tension crested again. "Dean!" His name echoed and the stream was heavy, spilling down into her cupped hand and flooding down her ass onto the chair. 

Still, she kept going. "Can't...can't stop!" she cried, left hand clawing at her tits as she rubbed her dripping cunt. 

Dean couldn't wait any longer, couldn't sit back and jerk off while such a beautiful pussy was in need.

He tried to stand but his knees were weak, so he crawled, hands and knees carrying him to her in a daze. His mouth was watering, his ears ringing. 

Y/N gasped when his lips hit her clit, sucking fast and hard as her taste flooded his mouth. He moaned happily and devoured her, licking up her mess before shoving his big tongue into her pulsing hole. 

"Fuck, Dean!" She let go, moving her dripping fingers to his head, spiking his short hair with the wetness. 

He mumbled into her pussy, greedily lapping at her flesh, desperate to feel the surge against his face. 

It didn’t take long. 

He lifted his eyes as he replaced his tongue with two thick fingers and watched as she broke, her body flailing as she came again. It shot out of her in a hot stream as her cunt tried to push his fingers out, and he closed his mouth around her, drinking it all down. 

Her hand dropped from his hair and tugged on his ear, trying to pull him up. Reluctantly, Dean pulled away and rose up to meet her hazy gaze. 

Y/N sat up and lunged at him, kissing him hard and moaning at the taste of herself on his lips. “Fuck.” 

“Agreed,” he laughed when she slid away. 

She looked drunk, head wobbling on her neck, face flushed, lips ruddy from her teeth. She reached down between their bodies and slid her fingertips into his already open jeans, groaning as she felt his hard cock. “Need it, Dean,” she begged. “Need to cum on your cock. Please. Please!”

“Fuck, baby.” Dean’s heart was racing as he backed up for a quick pause, just long enough to drop his pants. He was hard as a rock and he fisted the base, growling at the pressure. 

Y/N wasn’t waiting much longer. She stood up when Dean did and flipped over onto her stomach, bending herself over the arm of the recliner. She wiggled her ass for him, spreading her legs as wide as she could and presented her leaking cunt for him. 

“Need you,” she begged again, arms stretching across the chair to hold on to the other side. 

Dean bit his tongue and grabbed her ass, gently kneading the meaty flesh as he lined up. 

“Please!” Y/N pushed back and impaled herself, moaning loudly as his cock filled her up. 

He slid right in, Dean’s knees shaking at the slick heat that engulfed him. She was tight and wet and hot; his mind couldn’t take it. 

“Damnit, Y/N, fuck!” He gave her ass a hard crack with his left hand and held onto her hip with his right. 

“Hard, please…” she moaned, her face falling into the cushions, muffling her voice. “Fuck me hard.”

“You got it.” The hand on her ass migrated up, tangling in her hair and giving it a firm tug. Her head snapped up and back and her moan was enough to get Dean moving fast. His thighs slammed against her, his cock ramming into her juicy cunt again and again until her voice rang loud. 

“Jesus, fuck!” 

He felt her cumming, cunt closing in on him, resisting his thrusts as it tightened. He slammed in hard and she came, the flood soaking his cock, running like a river down his thick thighs. He couldn’t breathe. “Fuck, Y/N!”

She shook against him, body weak and finally spent. He let her hair go and her head lolled back down, a pull toy whose string was too slack. 

Dean locked his hands around her hips and grunted as he came, shooting into her slick cunt so quickly that a wave of dizziness stuck him and he fell forward, covering her naked spine with his soft flanneled chest. 

Y/N sucked in a refreshing breath and gave his head a nudge with her shoulder. “Kinda crushing me, dude…”

He laughed and pushed up, wiping a bit of shine off of his cheek. “Holy shit, Y/N/N…”

She moaned as he pulled out and another shower drenched her thighs. “Uh… yeah.” 

Dean staggered backwards, nearly tripping over the jeans hooked on his boots. “That was…”

Y/N stretched and smiled. “Yeah.”

He looked down, eyes still clouded, lips turned in a dumbstruck smile. “I like you,” he slurred. 

Y/N laughed and patted his cheek. “I like you too,” she said, smiling up at him sweetly. “Now go get a mop. You made a mess.” 

“Me?” Dean gasped, clutching imaginary pearls. 

“Well, it wasn’t Marty McFly!” 

Dean raised his brows and dipped his chin. “Come on, it was a little bit Marty McFly…”

Y/N shrugged him off but laughed over her shoulder as she turned away to grab her panties. “Yeah… maybe a little…”

2019 Forever Tags:

@akshi8278 @amanda-teaches @arses21434 @because-imma-lady-assface @burningcoffeetimetravel @colagirl5 @cosicas-cuquis @cosmicfire72 @courtney-elizabeth-winchester @covered-byroses @crashdevlin @dean-winchesters-bacon @deansenwackles @deansgirl215 @dubuforeveralone @emilyshurley @emoryhemsworth @ericaprice2008 @eternal-elir @feelmyroarrrr @flamencodiva @focusonspn @gayspacenerd @herbologystudent252 @hobby27 @ilsawasanacrobat @justcallmeasmodeus​ @katymacsupernatural @lastactiontricia @maddiepants @mariekoukie6661 @meganwinchester1999 @missjenniferb @mrswhozeewhatsis @our-jensen-ackles-love  @peridot-rose @pisces-cutie @risingphoenix761 @roonyxx @roxyspearing @sandlee44 @shadowkat-83 @spnbaby-67 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @spnficgirl  @supernaturaldean67 @supernatural-took-me-over @thehardcoveraddict @tmiships4life @wegoddessofhell @winchesterprincessbride

[miscellaneous-miraculous]

Painted Lady Chapter 3

Read on AO3 here

*four years later*

The apartment was a mess and Adrien loved it. He loved finding Nino’s headphones in the most random spots. He loved Alya’s ‘conspiracy wall,’ photos and articles pinned up everywhere with sticky notes of every color. She claimed there was a system, but no one except Alya had ever figured it out. He even – no, especially, loved finding Marinette’s stray needles everywhere. It reminded him of when he was younger, before his father became a supervillain and all-around jerk. It also made their apartment feel lived in, something his own home had never been like.

“Marinette!” Adrien dropped his keys in the bowl, kicking off his shoes at the door. “I got the fabric!” It was Nino’s turn to cook dinner if the scent of tajine was anything to go by. Adrien could already feel his mouth watering.

“Thanks!” Marinette called from the mezzanine. Her ‘nest’ as Alya had dubbed it. Marinette practically lived up there during finals or when she had big projects. Adrien had carried her down after finding her asleep at her desk more than a few times. She leaned over the edge, a tape measure draped around her neck and a few pencils stuck in her hair. “I’ll be down in second, I’ve just got to finish hemming this.”

Adrien nodded, turning his attention to Alya and her wall. “Anything interesting happen today?” He noticed a few new sticky notes.

“Miraculous wise? No. Journalism wise? Also no,” Alya sighed, pushing her glasses up. She was still wearing the white button down she’d put on in the morning, but she’d changed from her skirt into a pair of orange running shorts, her plaid blazer tossed over the back of her desk chair. “Any chance Chat Noir wants to graffiti the Eifel tower or something?”

“I think I’ll pass on that one, but I’ll let you know if I see anything on patrol later.”

“Fair enough,” Alya shrugged, returning to her board. “I’ve got a few leads to check again, but I doubt anything new will come up. Still nothing in any international news either.”

“Is bad I just want something happen?” Adrien set down the fabric bag on the couch. “We finally solved the thing with my father, but Lila’s still out there. I just wish we had a clearer target.”

“Me too, Sunshine,” Alya took a sticky note from her wall, eyebrows furrowing. “You’re on patrol later, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Mind if I tag along?” she folded the sticky note into her shorts pocket.

“Sure, you know you’re free to come whenever, right?”

Alya smirked, “Like I’d ever willingly tag along on a day that’s just you and Ladybug.” Adrien blushed, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. “There’s a reason we alternate patrol days.”

“Like you and Nino are any better.”

“Try you and Nino,” Alya snorted in laughter. “Last time you two patrolled together all the news stations were covering a brain freeze contest between Chat Noir and Carapace.”

“That I won!” Nino called from the kitchen.

“Did not!” Adrien protested. Alya only rolled her eyes, looking amused.

 “Case in point.”

Adrien was spared replying by Nino shouting, “Dinner in five!”

“I’ll get Marinette,” he said, picking up the fabric bag.

“Don’t get too distracted, lover boy,” Alya said with a wink.

Adrien ignored her, making his way up the ladder. Marinette had several pins in her mouth as she worked on the hem of her dress. It was plain black aside from the two tiny Ladybug stitched over the right shoulder and there weren’t any fancy folds or stiches because of the jacket she’d paired with it. Adrien hadn’t seen it finished, but he knew it was a pink silk bolero that she’d spent days hand embroidering with different flowers. It was the final piece in a collection of six.

“Marinette, Nino said dinner’s almost ready.”

“That’s five minutes of work I can squeeze in,” she said, taking the pins from her mouth.

Adrien sighed, resting his head in his arms as he waited. Then his eyes zeroed in on the basket of yarn in the corner. He had barely reached for it when Marinette said, “Absolutely not, remember what happened last time you got into my yarn?”

“It was one time!” he protested.

“And how many hours of rerolling the balls?” She shook her head, still focused on her work.

Adrien mumbled something about the softness of the yarn before reaching for it again. “Adrien Agreste, I will bring out the laser pointer.”

“Is that a promise?”

Marinette sighed, “Alright, alright, I’m coming.” She laid the pins and tape measure on her desk, shuffling a few papers before making her way down the ladder. “How was your day?”

“It was alright. Finally finished the equation set from the beginning of the week, with a little help from Plagg. Who knew he was so good at explaining Physics?”

“I’ve been around since before Physics was invented,” Plagg yawned. “Now cheese bread, there’s an innovation worth celebrating.”

“I’ll pick some up next time I’m at the bakery,” Marinette promised. “Just try not to eat through it in two days, Mama was worried last time since three out of the four of us are lactose intolerant and it was all gone in a day.”

“You poor, poor humans,” Plagg sighed. “Missing out on all the gooey goodness of cheese.”

“I’m so glad Wyazz just eats lettuce,” Nino said, placing a large dish in the center of the table. He was still wearing the apron Marinette had made him – a green hexagonal pattern embroidered with the words ‘turtle-ly awesome’ and a little smiling turtle underneath.

“Yeah, you and Marinette really lucked out in the kwami feeding department,” Alya said, taking her seat. “Remember when Trixx had me going to the store for frozen mice?”

“I’d rather not.” Adrien shuddered as he remembered opening the freezer and thinking they looked just a little too appetizing for comfort. Marinette might be fine eating flowers but if he ever found a rodent in his mouth, he and Plagg were going to have a serious talk. Especially since he and Marinette had talked about going to the pet store to pick out a hamster once the school year ended.

“I still remember Nino’s screams when he found one on his pillow,” Marinette giggled.

“That was not cool, dude,” Nino frowned at Trixx who merely shrugged.

“I was saving it for later.”

“And you wanted to see Nino’s face when he found it,” Tikki added. It had been her who told Alya that kwamis could eat almost anything, even if they did have their preferences. After that Trixx had been negotiated down to chicken and the occasional sugar mouse.

“Oh, of course,” Trixx smiled indulgently.

“Nino, do you have a gig tonight?” Adrien asked, changing the subject before he could think any more about the possible taste of frozen mice.

Nino shook his head, “Nope, finally got a break in my schedule. Next week’s packed though.”

“Up for some Mech Strike after dinner then? I convinced Marinette to take a break and join us.”

“Since when?” Marinette raised an eyebrow.

“Since just now,” Adrien said, pulling out his best kitten eyes.

The battle didn’t last long.

“As long as you’re prepared to lose,” Marinette said, getting herself more tajine.

“I’d expect nothing less, my lady.”

“Speak for yourself, bro,” Nino protested. They all gave him a look – Nino was notoriously bad at video games. Even though he’d been getting slightly better over the years, he was still no match for Marinette. “Can’t a man dream?”

They all laughed at that.

After dinner Marinette went to set up the game while Alya and Nino did the dishes. Adrien and Alya had been banned from doing dishes together ever since Alya had realized he hissed like a cat whenever the water splashed him, and she found it entirely too entertaining. The moment Marinette sat down Adrien sprawled himself across her lap. “I hope this isn’t some elaborate scheme to distract me,” she said, shifting to a more comfortable position as she ran her fingers through his hair.

Adrien gasped in mock hurt as he placed a hand on his chest, “How could you think so low of me? I simply missed my lady’s company.”

“We spent the entire day together yesterday,” Marinette said with a teasing glint in her eye.

“Exactly, yesterday, today is an entirely different day.”

"Hmm," Marinette tapped her chin. “Well, we could always meet up for some late-night ice cream after your patrol.”

“Ooh, that new place that just opened? With all the toppings?” Adrien’s ice cream usually ended up at least ninety percent toppings.

“Yeah, I’ve been wanting to try it out.”

"Let’s do it then,” Adrien said, practically purring with excitement.

Continue on AO3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23580646/chapters/58909261

[apparelvon]

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[jorjathomas]

Potential Self Made Fabric and Pricing Research

As lectures become less frequent, it is important that the group and I start to validate our brands factors which will help us achieve the best for this module. Currently, we have ideas but we really need to be confident in them so we can progress in making our PowerPoint. I decided to research in what particular fabrics we needed for our garments that would make them both practical and sustainable. I also briefly covered how much we should price our range off this research.

I am unsure if we are going to create both gym wear and loungewear for our business however it was useful that I researched both just incase we decide to create one over the other. Nylon is the most popular material used for activewear as it has low moisture absorbency's and stretches over the body well, perfect for active environments however, when researching how sustainable nylon is I was disappointed to see its results. Google states ‘Even when properly disposed of, microscopic pieces of fiber will shed off as it's worn and contribute to waterway plastic pollution. As a result, nylon is not known as a particularly sustainable fabric.’ Looking at the WeAreTala brand and what sustainable products they use to create their gym wear I discovered that they use a supplier which uses recycled Nylon. This brand is called QNova. When looking at their page they explained the process of how they create more sustainable Nylon in which they state, ‘Q-NOVA® is made for more than half by pre-consumption waste: these materials were unusable in any other way and would have been disposed of as external waste. The discarded materials are recast using a mechanical regeneration process after which they return to Fulgar in the form of a polymer which is then integrated into further processing stages.’ 

When analysing how this material would be priced in comparison to the standard and more harmful Nylon, I wasn't actually able to compare as you have to request a quote in order to see the pricing. This is understandable as they probably make to order to reduce any waste, slowing down the fashion cycle. Looking at WeAreTala’s price range in comparison to a non sustainable brand such as Gym Shark I was surprised they were priced around the same range. Both sat between £35-£40 despite one being more sustainable than the other. From this discovery, I am assuming that the recycled may be cheaper than normal nylon or Tala have decided to keep the prices at this price and loose out on some profits so their brand is affordable to their market. Further down in this post, I researched as to why sustainable materials are more expensive and why businesses may have to reduce their prices despite materials being more expensive than the standard fabrics other businesses use. I think our brand would have to take thing into consideration as our target audience prefer buying from cheaper brands.

As Nylon isn't environmentally friendly, I discovered the second best fabrics which our group could use for our activewear garments which was Bamboo. Bamboo fabrics are eco-friendly and responsibly sourced. The bamboo plant grows quickly without using pesticides, excessive water or care. This would be more suitable for our brand as it wouldn't produce plastic pollution like Nylon does. It was hard to find a supplier that sells fabric alone rather already made products however I found a business called Dragon Fly Fabrics. Having fabrics would be much more beneficial as we are able to control our own scrap waste. We are interested in creating a collection involving the patchwork technique where you sew together patches of fabrics using a lettuce hem. Keeping these scraps would help us for this idea as well as using as much fabric as possible. The business, Dragonfly Fabrics states ‘Bamboo fabrics have anti-bacterial properties and are therefore odour-resistant.  It is a great choice for people with sensitive skin, especially problems with eczema or allergies.  They are also absorbent and breathable which makes them cool to wear’. This is perfect for gym wear but I also think would be suitable for loungewear because it would be softer and more comfortable to wear more often.

The pricing for this fabric is suitable for our brand. 2 meters of fabric is £35 which I thought was reasonably priced. There aren’t as many colours and I am unsure how these are dyed. It would be important for these fabrics to be dyed naturally rather than with chemicals. The good thing about this site is that you can request a sample which would be good for us to see what the material is like and test its practicality. The only problem with this is that we would need to find a way to use this sample as we don't want to waste any fabrics. Sampling fabrics and testing them is crucial for activewear however causes a lot of waste for designs which didn't make the final cut for the collection.

 Moving away from activewear, our priority is loungewear and fabrics which are comfy and environmentally friendly. The main fabrics for two piece loungewear sets and trousers which our brand is interested in is cotton or linen. As these garments are fairly similar to sleepwear and have they same purposes, I found it easier to research under sleepwear. This is because some loungewear consists of jersey or fleece for garments like joggers and hoodies. As our aim is to use patchwork, these fabrics would be too thick to create this design on so I thought it was best researching for lightweight fabrics. Although Cotton is sustainable, I would say its one of the most popular fabrics. This popularity comes with high demand which I think could cause factory farming and fast fashion. Using recycled cotton is best if we considered this fabric as we are hindering it from going into landfill. I also looked into other fabrics that would be suitable for our collection in which I came across a fabric called Lyocell. The only problem with this material is that it is semi- synthetic meaning there was a chemical process when creating it. 

Lyocell is created from the cellulose in wood-pulp from trees. This comes from trees like Oak, Eucalyptus and Birch and is broken down and reformed into woven fibres. The fabric has high Elasticity which I thought would be good if we were to do both loungewear and activewear. It would be ideal not having too many suppliers in order to keep our carbon footprint small however I don't think I want to use this fabric as much due to it being synthetic and chemically broken down. It also is more expensive which is a key factor to take in consideration. As I said before I need to ask my group if we want to lower the original value of these garments in order to keep out target market despite us loosing profit to begin with. Although there are many negatives for this fabric, it is breathable and lightweight which is sustainable for our garment ideas. It is also very durable and long lasting which I hope would reduce the amount of consumers throwing away clothing frequently. If this did occur, it wouldn’t cause as much harm as Lyocell is biodegradable. In comparison to cotton Lyocell is much less harmful as the manufactures don't use pesticides in order for the cellulose to be released from the tree. Cotton does use water pesticide and is very labour intensive due to its demand in fast fashion which is why I think overall our brand should use Lyocell in order to cause as little harm to our planet as possible. 

Lyocell is produced in both Europe and China which is expected however I think it would be best to by from a supplier who manufactures in Europe as this is closer to the UK and reduce our carbon footprint. I have yet to find a business which sells this fabric however when looking in the shopping section on google the price ranges between £25-£30 depending on how many metres you would like. There are sellers on eBay however I would prefer to find a business which is more sustainable as most products which sell stock on eBay can be harmful to the environment or are shipped further away than Europe.

I think it would be best to buy these fabrics organically and then dye them ourselves as the businesses I've researched don't explain how they have dyed their fabrics. I began to research which natural dyes are best for fabrics.

  This business called George Weil sell fibres which enable fabrics to change colour. I thought this would be interesting to test out so I began to look at how you would dye fabrics this way. Re-using the dye bath water can help save tons of water without fixing the color of one bath to another one's fabric. Other techniques I think we should try involves; Cold dying and dry heat fixation which is another method of steaming to fix the pigmentation of the dyed fabric. This is much more eco friendly to the planet and much less harmful to the workers who would be dying these garments. Chemical dyes are very toxic and actually caused a lot of health problems to workers who were exposed to them often. This involved skin diseases and respiratory problems also which we don't want. I came up with the idea of sharing information about the workers we would hire and their own background on the site for our consumers to see. It would prove how important their lives our in our development of our brand and how they wont be mistreated in any way.

I think it would be important to tell our consumers that each product would look different because of this process which I hope they would understand the reasoning behind. I think this adds more sentimental value to our brand rather than creating a mass production of the same garment.

The final piece of research I did regarding this factor, was the reasoning behind the expenses of sustainable fabric being higher than the standard clothing. I didn't know much about this topic so I think it would be just as important to include this information on our website in order to inform and educate our customers.

You would think it would be more expensive to produce more crops which make these fabrics however with the help of pesticides, synthetic fertilizers and the widespread demand of materialistic clothes, this isn't the case. Sustainable fabrics don't use these and use much lower impact crops that produce in their own time. This slows down the production completely which most fast fashion companies do not want. In addition, these manufactures make these items to order which reduces the amount of waste significantly. 

To conclude, this research was beneficial as I now know the importance of our brand being sustainable. Reading the impact these fabrics have on the environment is shocking and I don't want to use these for our brand. I think we should use Lyocell fabric for our loungewear if we did make new items. I think we could consider using existing clothes which customers don't want and repurpose them into something more wearable. This would be best as we wouldn't be adding any more harm to fashion pollution but staying in the fashion cycle by borrowing existing items

[sewchicboutique]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: New! Desert Sand Short Slv Amazing Button Jumpsuit.

[inkbts-blog1]

Would You Let Me Love You?

❝ I will admit that I cried and had to stop writing because it hit such a sensitive part of myself. But furthermore, enjoy. xx

word count: 2k +

It was on Twitter the first time you saw the rude comments. You were out for dinner with the boys - it was the last day of promotions and to celebrate, you all went to your guys' favorite restaurant. You were looking through your phone while waiting for the food to arrive. Seokjin, your boyfriend was sitting next to you. His hand placed on your thigh as he scold the young one. Scrolling down the notification timeline, you couldn't help but read the comments. 

She's so fat, ugh. What does Jin see in her!?

Someone please get her out of the picture!!

She's a foreigner, only wants Jin oppa for the money. 

Oh God, her thighs are huge! Grosssss!! Jin deserves better, not someone twice his weight. 

Time froze as you scrolled and scrolled - torturing yourself with the ugly words said about you. You ignored all these comments ever since you and Seokjin announced your relationship to the fans. Some of them were happy that you made the eldest of BTS happy; then there was those rude fans. These are what his fans thought about you - someone gross because of your weight. A foreigner, who can't speak Korean, makes you a gold digger. There's photos of female idols that make a perfect pair with Seokjin. Making comparisons of you to them. You swallow hard as you try to hold back your tears. How can people live each day insulting someone they hardly know? What good does it make for them? You didn't notice that you were staring at your phone when you felt Seokjin squeeze your thigh. 

"Y/N-ah, eat," he said in his best English. 

In front of you the food as arrived. More than fifteen side bowls, meat grilling on the small grills, lunch boxes, kimchi soup, gimbap, and salad. You could hear your stomach growl. Looking around, all the boys are chattering away, laughing, and having a good time. You look beside and watch Seokjin stuff his mouth with meat wrapped in a lettuce leaf. The thoughts that you've kept locked up behind your mind somehow escape the lock.

Why? You thought. How can he possibly chose you when thousands of prettier, thinner girls were out there? He chose you, a foreigner over someone who's actually Korean. Why? Why did he choose to be with someone who was bigger than him? You've both been together for five months and haven't had sex. You were insecure about your weight, skin color and thighs. You were afraid of how he'd react when he truly saw underneath the large shirts you wore. There were times when he wanted to take the next step, but you rubbed him off. Making the same excuse - I'm not ready yet. He understood you and never pressured you to something you weren't ready for. He could be happier with someone else. Someone fit for him. 

Seokjin catches you not eating. He takes a piece of meat and wraps it in a lettuce leaf. He brings the food up to your mouth. You don't eat it. Instead, you turn your head away from it and fill your plate with salad instead. Seokjin stares at you confused. You never diss a piece of meat. Seokjin ignores the thought and eats it instead. Hours pass and you haven't finished your salad yet. The boys are drinking shot after shot, except Seokjin. He's been stealing glances when you weren't looking. He saw you pick at your food and only nibble pieces of lettuce into your mouth. He would offer you food, but you shook your head and stuff a piece of lettuce to avoid talking to him. This seemed strange to Seokjin. You were always eating happily. Grabbing the different foods that were on the table, but tonight he knew something was wrong. He just couldn't put his finger on it. Seokjin placed his hand on your thigh and gave it a small squeeze. You look down and saw how his hand contrasted your thick thigh. Tears ready to burst out, but you yawned saying that you were tired.

You two were the first to leave. The dorm wasn't far from the restaurant - so you both walked back. Seokjin takes your hand in his and intertwines his fingers with yours. You look down and feel your heart break into pieces. 

"Y/N, are you sick?" Seokjin asks. 

You shake your head. "No. Why?" 

"You didn't eat much tonight. Stomach ache?"

"I … wasn't hungry." You whispered and lowered your face - looking at the ground.

"Y/N-ah," Seokjin says with concern. You look up to meet his brown eyes. "Are you not telling me something?"

Yes. "No. I'm just tired - you know, from studying." You laugh it off, but when you look at Seokjin, he holds a serious expression. 

At the dorms, you decide to take a shower. It will be your therapy to get those thoughts out of your mind. After you walk out the bathroom, Seokjin walks in - not saying a word to you and closes the door of the bathroom. Odd. After drying yourself off, you put on red lace panties and put on Seokjin’s large pink t-shirt. You stand in front of the mirror as you comb your hair and your eyes wander down to your thighs. They're covered midway with the t-shirt. Putting the brush down, you carefully lift the t-shirt and pinch your thighs. You shake your leg and watch how your thigh never stops jiggling. Standing sideways, you left the shirt higher - till you see your stomach. A small belly that makes you look pregnant. You pat it and in horror watch it jiggle. Those comments were right; you are fat, your thighs are thick. You take in a sharp breath and looked at yourself, but instead you see a blurry imagine behind you.

Quickly, you put down your shirt. You turn, eyes widen frighten to see Seokjin standing by the door of the bedroom. His brunette hair wet, he's shirtless, and only wearing a pair of sweatpants. You look down at your toes - fumbling with your fingers. Seokjin's feet padded across the wooden flooring, until they were in sight in front of you. 

"Y/N- ah," he says lowly. 

You make yourself smaller - lifting your shoulders and hiding your head like a turtle. Fingers pinch your chin and lift them up to meet eye to eye with Seokjin. You take your bottom lip in between your teeth; biting hard to avoid from crying in front of him. 

"What were you doing?" He asks sternly. 

You could feel your heart beat against your chest. "I … I was … I was …" 

"You were what?"

"I … I … I hate how I look." You cried out. Tears cascading down your cheeks as you take your hands to hide your face. "I hate how I look," you whispered against your hands. 

Hands grab hold of your wrists and pull them apart from your face. Seokjin cups your face and dries the stained tears with his thumb. He leans his head closer to yours and rests his forehead against yours. 

"Don't say those words," he says quietly.

"But why?" You say. "Why me? You see thousands of pretty, thinner girls than me. You picked me over someone who's actually Korean - someone who's good enough for you. I take up space - physically. Seokjin, why choose me? I'm not pretty or thin."

He lifted my face to meet him eye to eye. "I chose you because I did. I didn't chose you for your looks or language you spoke. I chose you because I was amazed on how a girl like you could know so much. How someone could suck up so much knowledge and remember it all. You amaze me, Y/N. At the café, I had to walk up and talk to you because my first thought was - why was she reading a large book?

“The way my heart skipped a beat when you instantly spoke broken-Korean to me. That's when I knew, that's why I took the seat across from you. You entranced me - you captivated me. Even before I knew your name, your were part of my life. I saw your phone and those ugly comments - people shouldn't say that to the person I love. You make me happy. You make me feel whole. I want to love every part of your body. I want my touch imprinted onto your skin. Too feel you against my skin - to love you. Would you let me? Would you let me love you?"

Sobs escaped your lips as you wrapped your hands around his neck and tiptoed to kiss him. Seokjin found his hands snake around your waist, his body dominating against yours. You melt against him. His warm lips molding against yours. He sucks on your bottom lip, making you let out a soft moan; and he pushes his tongue into your mouth. You taste the mint from the toothpaste as his tongue moves inside your mouth. Seokjin leads you to the edge of the bed without breaking the kiss. He sits you down and finally pulls away leaving you breathless.

Seokjin goes down on his knees in front of you. His hands holding tight onto your thighs as he nibbles your bottom lip. Your heart ready to jump out of your chest. His warm lips leave wet and purple marks against your thighs. Seokjin looks up at you, a devilish smirk across his lips; as he spreads your legs apart. He instructs you to lay back on the bed and you obey. Your breath sucks out of you when you feel a cool breeze in between your legs. Seokjin snakes his arms around thigh, his hands cupping your round ass - giving it a light squeeze. You shut your eyes as you feel his lips kiss the fabric of your red lace.

"Mm, jagi," he hums against your pussy. 

Seokjin brings a hand and palms you against the red lace. He watches you squirm under his touch. He plays with the hem of your panties - pulling them slowly down your legs. He leaves wet-sloppy kisses on your inner thighs before he nuzzles his face between your legs. You let out a gasp - hands tangling in his hair. Closing your eyes, you feel the tip his tongue lick your wet folds. He flicks your clitoris a couple of times before his plump lips start to suck your labia. You let out a loud moan and Seokjin hums in satisfaction. Lifting your hips against his lips because you couldn’t get enough of it. You feel emptiness between your legs for a second before feeling two fingers spread your lips.

“I’m going to make you feel so good, baby girl.” He says.

He pushes in two fingers and starts to pump in and out of your cunt. Your hands softly pull the ends of Seokjin’s wet hair for every time he would curl his fingers into you. Quickening his pace, he leaned down and sucked your clit till it felt swollen. A warm sensation began to stir in your stomach as you felt your insides getting to its high. Just as you thought you were about to come, Seokjin’s fingers leave your insides and you let out a whimper. He chuckles lightly as he gets up on his feet. He asks you to lay back on the pillows; and you do as told. You watch as he takes his two fingers dripping of your juices and takes it up to his lips. He opens it slightly and sucks his fingers dry. His eyes on you as he did this. You gulp down as the thought of what’s going to happen next, comes nearer.

Seokjin pulls down his sweatpants and climbs onto the bed. His body hovering over yours. He takes his fingers into yours and intertwines them. He leans forward to give a quick peck on your lips before trailing down your round face, to you neck. He leaves purplish spots on your neck and you turn your head to give him more access. His other hand finds its way under the pink tee. You gasp. Feeling his hand softly touch your stomach - you pull his hand away. This is the part you feared the most.

“Baby, I’m not going to hurt you,” he says. “I promise you, I’ll be gentle.”

He assures with a gentle kiss. You wanted this moment to happen so many times. You imagined so many times how good he might feel inside you. You gulp down your fears and nod softly. Seokjin gently crawls in hand under the t-shirt and places his large hand against your stomach. Your heart starts to beat fast once you feel his warm touch against your skin. You sit up and he helps you take your t-shirt off. Seokjiin takes the moment to admire your full figure that you’ve kept hidden all this time. A small grin spreads across his lips as he leans toward your chest. He plants light kisses before taking one of your breasts into his mouth. You throw your head back as Seokjin sucks hard on your nipple. Not leaving your other breast alone, he takes your nipple, and twists it between his thumb and index finger. His lips leave your bruised breast and does the same to the other. Jin, Jin, Jin - his name will occasionally leave your lips. Your hands traveled to the hem of his boxers and played with it. You wanted him inside you, now. Seokjin leans back and pulls down his boxers; his erect member springing out.  

He takes a condom from the night stand and rolls it down his length. He pumps himself a couple of times before placing himself in between your legs. The tip of his dick teasing your wet entrance.

“Are you ready?” He asks.

“Yes,” you said breathless.

Without hesitation, you feel his dick fill you inside. You arch your back feeling the pleasure of him inside you. A grunt leaves Seokjin’s lips once he starts to thrust his hips into yours. He takes his hands in yours and intertwines your fingers together - placing them at the sides of your head. He reaches down to leave wet-sloppy kisses against your lips. You moan out his name.

“Fuck Y/N,” Seokjin grunts out. “Fuck, fuck.”

He thrusts into you faster. His head nudged in the crook of your neck and bites the skin of it occasionally. Seokjin leaves one of his hands from yours as they make their way down. You wrap your arms around his broad shoulders as you felt him rub your clit. Oh Jin - your lips slipped the words. You closed your eyes and tilted your head back. The warm sensation was filling your stomach. Faster babe, fuck faster - you let out in short breaths. Seokjin’s hand left your clit and lifted one of your legs up. He grunted loud as he thruster deeper into you.  Knots in your stomach began to form as your felt heat stride up your legs. Oh Jin, I'm so close - you moaned. Heavy breaths filled the four walls of the bedroom you shared. Seokjin cursed when his warm cum filled inside you. Seconds, you came as well. He laid on top of you for a few minutes, as you both collected your breathing. After cleaning yourself up, Seokjin covered your naked bodies with the duvet. He moved your hair away from your face and planted a small kiss on your forehead. You wrapped your arms around his waist. Seokjin pulled you closer to his body. 

“Know that I love you, Y/N-ah. If you get those comments again, tell me. I'll show them another side of me.”

“Yes, Jin. And I love you too.”

[fashiontrendin-blog]

The Best-Dressed Men Of The Week

http://fashion-trendin.com/the-best-dressed-men-of-the-week-29/

The Best-Dressed Men Of The Week

Who: Jonah Hill

Where: Prada Resort 2019 Show, New York

Jonah Hill fit-watch 2k18 has officially gone into overdrive. If you weren’t aware, the two-time Academy Award nominee has slimmed down and dressed up in the past year, and is pulling out some fantastic style choices. Here’s another with pleated navy blue trousers – fitting marvellously by the way – topped with a statement Hawaiian shirt which is trending hard this season. Elsewhere, white dress shoes are always a risk, but best to follow Hill by using them in a navy blue uniform. The wide-lapelled blazer could be a snugger fit but Hill is styling up at a rate of knots right now so we still expect some minor errors in the system until we reach Jonah Hill fit-watch peak.

Who: Nick Jonas

Where: Craig’s Restaurant, Los Angeles

Former tween bopper now surprisingly hilarious Hollywood actor after a starring turn in the Jumanji remake last year, Nick Jonas is winning the battle of the siblings at the moment – not least when it comes to his style chops. A black tee is a black tee, and Jonas has the guns to pull it off with aplomb, but it’s those sweet as a coconut side stripe trousers that are giving us the really green eyes. Worn with a pair of vans that match the two colours above, Jonas is making good after all those skinny tie/plaid shirt horror shows from his Disney Channel days.

Who: ASAP Rocky

Where: Gucci Wooster Store Opening, New York

And now over to Instagram where furore broke out earlier in the week over ASAP Rocky’s Gucci bag. The gist of it is rapper and teeth-gratingly terrible actor 50 cent didn’t like the look of it and started a light-hearted social media spat with Mr Rocky over said tote. We’re cool with it though mainly because those Gucci stripes match the trim on the wool cardigan. Heck, those Gucci colours are everywhere – check out the turn up on the jeans – and yet it’s all done in a surprisingly understated way. We’re calling this look granny-in-the-charity-shop-if-she-was-a-rap-megastar chic.

Who: Tyler Alvarez

Where: Netflix FYSee Kick-Off Event, Los Angeles

From Givenchy sliders to rubber-soled loafers, slip ons of all shapes and sizes are coming out big for SS18. Tyler Alvarez, star of Netflix show American Vandal, is showing off a smarter version of the style here which go well with the dandy checked trousers. The inherently casual nature of slip ons also mean they work well with the nonchalant character of the rolled-up hem and of course with trousers that jazzy, you need to keep it casual and monochrome everywhere else. In this case, the black stripes are overloading the white check so picking a white tee could possibly jar. Go with Alvarez instead and match it with a breezy black henley instead.

Who: Donald Glover

Where: Met Gala, New York

Ugly 80s is back. Think chunky, multi-fabric trainers and patches on bomber jackets. Even fanny packs have returned – although sadly leg warmers are still considered a step too far. Anyway, the corny prom suit has also made a return from the dead, brilliantly sported by another trending superstar Donald Glover, aka rapper and singer Childish Gambino. However, if you’re going to go ugly, you have to make it look pretty, and here Glover is wonderfully presented with those shiny cream loafers matching his bow tie and shown off by the cropped fit on his trousers.

Who: Justin Theroux

Where: Met Gala, New York

Did you know that cult BBC documentarian and owner of the best poker face in the world, Louis Theroux is cousins with The Leftovers hunk and former Mr Jennifer Aniston, Justin Theroux? Now, Louis has a fine line in grey shirts and Harry Potter specs, but we all know who lucked out between the two in the style stakes. Here Justin eschews his usual badass vampire biker look for a highly groomed style that evokes the Victorian period with a buttoned-up, tunic shirt, before bringing it back up to date with leather lapels. A pair of Chelsea boots and the skinny fit of his trousers also works well with the actor’s slimmer frame.

Who: Riz Ahmed

Where: The Standard and Olivier Rousteing host The Boom Boom Met Gala Afterparty, New York

The blouson jacket is to SS18 what the shearling was to AW15. Everywhere we look there’s another one. So here’s the blouson one more time, worn by British actor Riz Ahmed. And gosh is it a nice one in a muted lilac that stops just at the hip. Alright, lilac is a dangerous colour for anyone who isn’t an 80-year-old lady, but go the way of Ahmed and throw on some jeans, a crisp shirt and that other favoured Hollywood stylist trick – a pair of white sneakers.

Who: Chadwick Boseman

Where: Versace Afterparty, Met Gala, New York

The theme at this week’s Met Gala’s was ‘Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination’ and there were an unholy number of gaudy outfits as celebrities turned up looking like pimped-up altar boys. Somehow, Black Panther himself, Chadwick Boseman gets away with this statement jacket, fitted like it was made for the Boer War stuccoed with a print that would blend in on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. No one outside of the Marvel universe is going to pull this look off but if you want to give it a go, dress like Boseman all in black and cross your fingers no one starts a fight with you when you strut into Slug and Lettuce.

Who: Michael B. Jordan

Where: Fahrenheit 451′ Premiere, New York

While the whole world seems to be going gaga over papal costumes, Michael B. Jordan is bringing it back to cool basics over in the right corner of the ring. The Creed star turned up to the premiere of his new TV adaptation of the dystopian novel Fahrenheit 451 in a slick turtleneck, a menswear staple that fashion has successfully prised away from the memory of Steve Jobs (although it was the mom jeans that ruined it for Steve, really). If we’re being particular, this is actually a mock neck which works better than a chunky knit under tailoring because of it’s slimmer fit.

Who: Ryan Reynolds

Where: Kiss 100 studios, London

Ah the quick turn up – one of the smartest plays in the fashion bible and perfect for when the pin-roll seems like a step (or a roll) too far. It’s relaxed attitude is able to break up lanky legs and highlights porcelain clean sneakers. Deadpool actor and quintessential leading man, Ryan Reynolds, is fine to attempt it at 6 ft 2 ins, but come under 5 ft 10 ins and you risk looking a tad dumpy. Up top it’s a patterned, Cuban collar loosened down with a simple brown Harrington. It’s quite Stranger Things but those kids are killing it so even another undisputed style icon like Reynolds has to pay his dues every now and again.