#Best All in One Color Printer

[lorrainestea]

You think I am stubborn?

Wait until you meet my printer.

Because she is the real oversensitive drama queen.

[jellyfishsthings]

Miscommunication is key

navigation , dc navigation

WARNINGS: funny miscommunication, the kids love you (maybe a bit too much)

requests are open

dividers by @cafekitsune

It started, as all catastrophes in the Manor did, with eavesdropping.

Tim was in the hallway, allegedly “cleaning the thermostat” (read: tweaking the heat setting so Steph would stop stealing his hoodies), when he heard voices coming from Bruce’s office. Your voice. And Bruce’s.

Tim had no idea what the argument was actually about. Something about boundaries? Trust? Printer ink? But the tension in your tone made his stomach clench. When Bruce said, “Maybe we need to take a step back,” Tim’s heart dropped.

He called an emergency family meeting in the Batcave.

“Dad and Mom are getting divorced.”

Jason looked up from his sandwich. “They’re not even married.”

“Details!” Tim cried, pacing like a war general. “We could still be split up! This is how it starts. A little coldness, a few missed dinners, then boom—visitation schedules and emotional trauma.”

Dick blinked. “Do we... get split up?”

“Technically, no,” Damian said. “We’re all legally tied to Father. Except for Jason and Stephanie.”

“What happens to us?!”

“Don’t panic,” Steph said, reading from her tablet. “Worst case scenario, we stage a legal rebellion and declare the manor a sovereign child-state.”

“Or,” Tim said, eyes wide, “we get adopted. By Mom.”

Silence.

Then chaos.

“She’d never say no to me,” Dick said confidently.

“I’ll bribe her with cookies,” Jason offered.

Damian narrowed his eyes. “I call emotional manipulation.”

Cass held up a whiteboard: Why not all of us?

So it was decided: Operation Adoption began at dawn.

They convened in the attic. Because the Batcave was under Bruce’s territory, and this was neutral ground.

Dick paced.

Damian sharpened a pencil aggressively.

Cass ate grapes and watched everyone like she was waiting for someone to cry.

Stephanie had already made t-shirts. “Team Mom 4 Lyfe.”

"We need a plan," Tim said, eyes red from Googling "how to stop a divorce you caused by being a messy adult child."

Jason held up a sheet of paper. “What if we ask her to adopt us?”

Dead silence.

Damian blinked. “You mean legally abandon Father?”

Jason shrugged. “It’s called strategic custody realignment.”

Phase One: Woo the Parent

You found your morning coffee already made.

By lunch, your office had been vacuumed, your planner color-coded, and a tray of Damian’s surprisingly excellent macarons appeared on your desk. Something was clearly up.

Dick followed you around like a golden retriever. “You look radiant today. New serum? Or just naturally ageless?”

“You want something,” you said flatly.

“Who, me?” he asked, wounded. “I’m just basking in the presence of my favorite future legal guardian.”

You blinked. “What?”

Jason appeared in the doorway. “Can I interest you in... a bribe?” He held up an embarrassing baby photo of Bruce in a sailor outfit.

“Jason—”

“Don’t make us pick sides in the fake divorce!”

“What fake divorce?!”

“Mom” Steph said, slipping in dramatically, “we’re prepared to make a case. Visitation is a nightmare, and you make the best pancakes. We’ve chosen you. Please accept custody of all emotionally damaged gremlins present.”

You stared at the room of hopeful, slightly unhinged faces.

“Did Bruce put you up to this?”

“Not unless he’s also asking for custody of Alfred,” Tim muttered.

Then Tim slid to you a small note, like they did in those spy movies he liked,  that said "Meet us in the living room in five"

Phase Two: The Pitch

The moment you entered the living room, the lights dimmed.

“Hello?”

Dick dropped from the ceiling.

Literally.

“Hi,” he said cheerfully, landing in a perfect split. “Can we talk?”

All five of them appeared like spirits of guilt, blocking your path to the kitchen. You sat them all down. “Okay. Walk me through your logic.”

Tim pulled out a graph titled Projected Emotional Outcomes Based on Custodial Assignment.

Jason had prepared a PowerPoint. “Slide one: Why Mom is the Superior Parent.”

Slide two: A chart comparing your hugs to Bruce’s handshake-head-pat combo.

Slide three: An animated pie labeled “Pancakes.”

Damian presented a legal document signed in crayon: WE THE CHILDREN CHOOSE THE COOLER PARENT.

“Steph notarized it,” he added.

“She forged my signature,” You whispered.

Steph held up a PowerPoint remote. The TV flashed on. First slide: "Why You Should Keep Us In The Event Of Inevitable Divorce."

You blinked. “Excuse me—what?”

Tim cleared his throat. “We’ve noticed rising tensions in your domestic interactions.”

Cass handed you a binder titled Custody Proposal: Draft 1.

Dick pointed at a bar graph. “Notice that under your influence, emotional stability in the household has increased by 46%. And we’ve had fewer vigilante-related injuries. Except Jason. But he’s a wild card.”

Jason saluted with a juice box.

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “You think Bruce and I are getting divorced because we argued?”

Damian crossed his arms. “Historically, that is how war begins. ”

Cass stood.

She held up flashcards. One had a stick figure with a cape hugging a heart. Another said ‘We Love You.’

Then she did the unthinkable.

She signed: Please don’t leave us.

Stephanie wiped away a tear. “It’s not manipulation if it’s true.”

Then Cass handed you a video montage she’d edited titled “Adoption: A Love Story,” scored with sweeping instrumental music and slow-mo scenes of you handing out snacks.

Damian climbed onto your lap. “You’re warm and you smell like cinnamon. That’s mom stuff.”

Your heart cracked, then melted.

“I’m not leaving Bruce,” you said gently. “We were arguing about printer ink.”

Silence.

“...Printer ink?” Tim asked weakly.

“He keeps buying magenta in bulk! Who uses that much magenta?!”

The kids slowly looked at one another.

“Abort mission,” Dick said.

“Too late,” Cass signed. “I already filed the motion with the fake Batkid Court.”

“Look,” you said, softening, “you don’t need to panic. Even if Bruce and I ever did break up, you’re not losing me.”

“Promise?” Tim whispered.

You cupped his face. “Swear it.” 

Jason sat beside you on the couch. “I get it if you ever want to get a divorce. Bruce is...Bruce. But you? You’re the only one who remembers to buy snacks we actually like. You’re the one who puts notes in my lunch that say, ‘Don’t stab anyone, even if they deserve it.’ That’s love.”

Dick: “And you help Bruce. Even if he’s being a Bat-Butt.”

Damian knelt. “Legally, I am already a Wayne. But if you filed paperwork, I would accept a hyphen.”

You couldn’t breathe.

Pause.

“So you’re saying we wasted $40 on matching ‘Adopt Me’ t-shirts?”

Later that night, you walked into Bruce’s study and flopped dramatically onto the couch.

“Your children tried to get me to adopt them today.”

He looked up from his paperwork. “Just today?”

“They had charts.”

He nodded. “Ah. The charts phase. Comes right before the emotional blackmail.”

You stared. “This has happened before?”

“Oh, absolutely. You’re the third person they’ve tried it with.”

You gasped. “Who was the second?”

“Alfred.”

You considered this. “They have good taste.”

Bruce smiled faintly. “They love you. That’s all this was. A weird, mildly terrifying love letter.”

You leaned back. “I almost said yes.”

“You still can. We’ll co-parent.”

“Until the magenta ink breaks us.”

He chuckled, kissed your forehead, and added, “Alfred already drafted the adoption paperwork. Just in case.”

Outside the study, eight Batkids listened through the door, celebrating silently.

“See?” Dick whispered. “Still a family.”

Jason wiped away a fake tear. “Group hug?”

“No,” Damian said. “But I will allow a high-five.”

Cass gave him one. It was perfect.

And the family stayed very much intact.

[bamsara]

Hello! I was wondering what company you use for your sticker sheets? I bough one from your Ko-Fi shop and really like the quality, and the pricing you were able to sell at is waaaaaay more reasonable compared to any of the companies I've seen and used myself. Is it a POD company, or a mass purchase of them to sell on your own?

Thank you for your time if you're able to respond!

I'm really glad you like the quality, because I actually make them by hand at home! (Please forgive the lighting, my bedroom is my office lmao.)

I don't use a company (and Idk what a POD company is sorry!) but making them at home gives a lot more freedom of stock, just be wary it can be very time consuming depending on how many you need to make.

I've had other people ask before, so here's a rundown of how I make my stickers at home: At most you'll need:

Printer

Sticker paper (this is the type that I use)

Laminator and lamination paper (the lamination paper that I use.) You can also use adhesive non-heat lamination paper if you don't have a laminator, gives you the same result, just be careful of bubbles. You will get double your worth out of a pack because we are splitting the pouches to cover two sticker sheets.

Your choice of a sticker cutting machine or just using scissors.

First, I use Cricut's software to print out the sticker sheet with the guidelines around the corners so the machine can read it. If you do NOT have a Cricut machine, open up your art program, make a canvas of 2550x3300 and fill it up with your sticker design with some cutting space between them. This the 8.5x11 size for the sticker page.

I usually have bleed selected so the cut comes out cleaner. Tip for non-Cricut users below: Increase the border around your sticker design to fake the 'bleed' effect for a cleaner cut.

These are the print settings I use for my printer. I use the 'use system dialogue' to make sure I can adjust the settings otherwise it prints out low quality by default. Make sure if you're using the above paper that you have 'matte' selected, and 'best quality' selected, these aren't usually selected by default.

So you have your sticker sheet printed! Next is the lamination part. I use a hot laminator that was gifted to me, but there is no-heat types of lamination you can peel and stick on yourself if that's not an option.

(This is for protection and makes the colors pop, but if you prefer your stickers matte, you can skip to the cutting process.)

Important for Cricut users or those planning to get a Cricut: You're going to cut the lamination page to cover the stickers while also not covering the guidelines in the corners. First, take your lamination page and lay it over the sheet, take marker/pen and mark were the edges of your stickers are, and cut off the excess:

(I save the scrap to use for smaller stickers or bonuses later on)

After you've cut out your lamination rectangle, separate the two layers and lay one down on your sticker sheet over your stickers with matte side down, shiny side up. (Save the other sheet for another sticker page)

The gloss of the lamination will prevent the machine from reading the guidelines, so be careful not to lay it over them. It also helps to cut the corners afterwards to prevent accidentally interfering with the guidelines.

Now put that bad boy in the laminator! (Or self seal if you are using non-heat adhesive lamination)

Congrats! You now have a laminated page full of stickers.

For non-cricut/folks cutting them out by hand: this is the part where you start going ham on the page with scisscors. Have fun~

Cutting machine: I put the page on a cutting mat and keep it aligned in the corner, and feed it into the machine. For laminated pages I go between 'cardstock' and 'poster board' so that it cuts all the way through without any issues, but for non-laminated pages or thinner pages, I stick for 'vinyl' and 'light card stock'. Kinda test around.

Now I smash that go button:

You have a sticker now!

The pros of making stickers at home is that you save some cost, and you have more control of your stock and how soon you can make new designs. (I can't really afford to factory produce my stickers anyway)

However, this can be a very time consuming, tedious process especially if you have to make a lot of them. There is also a LOT chance for some errors (misprints, miscuts, lamination bubbles, ect) that will leave you with B-grade or otherwise not-so-perfect or damaged stickers. (Little note, if you have page mess up in printing and can't be fed into the cricut machine, you can still laminate it and cut it out by hand too.)

I have to do a lot of sticker cutting by hand, so if you don't have a cricut don't stress too much about it. I have an entire drawer filled to the top of miscuts/misprints. I keep them because I don't want to be wasteful, so maybe one day they'll find another home. Sucks for my hand though.

But yeah! This is how I make my stickers at home! Hope this is helpful to anyone curious

[3liza]

here's what I've learned to never pay full price for, because people are giving these items away for free or almost free on Craigslist, Nextdoor, Facebook, at Goodwill, and on eBay (which has a local pickup section) in every sufficiently populated location in the USA.

cost of acquiring these items ranges from "carrying it home from the sidewalk" to "getting a friend with a car to help you pick it up" which is the same amount of effort as going to IKEA for worse quality that costs more, with the notable exception of it being a pain in the ass to coordinate with craigslist sellers, and you often have to wait and watch for what you want to actually show up. it took me about a year to find an acceptable gamer chair left out on the sidewalk, for example. but they cost $100+ new, so I chose to wait.

a lot of this stuff is the kind of thing you don't necessarily intend to keep, just to use in transitional housing or until you can afford a better one.

1. printers of any kind. basic office inkjets are free. ink is easily refillable or has generic ink cartridges way cheaper than brand name for any inkjet up to about 2015, not sure how difficult the newer smart printers are to hack but there's no reason to own a newer one because printing technology has not improved since about 2005. you want a color laser for making zines and wheatpastes? it's on Craigslist RN and someone's mom is desperate to get rid of it

2. bedframes

3. desks

4. tables

5. chairs

6. bookshelves, nice oak bookshelves that don't bend like al dente spaghetti when you put books on them, are rotting on sidewalks rn because they didn't fit in someone's house. go get them

7. scanners. I find a working scanner by a dumpster at least once a quarter, and I don't pick them up because I already have one that I picked up from a dumpster years ago

8. hot tubs. everyone thinks they want a hot tub and that the maintenance and upkeep will be worth it, and they are wrong. Craigslist.

9. sofas, with the caveat that if you are in a bedbug region like New York State you need to be very confident in your bedbug screening skills

10. quality leather shoes. these last forever and are expensive new. eBay is best for these

11. plates, glassware, silverware. all of these are able to be sterilized to whatever standard you feel comfortable with but if you eat in restaurants you've already put a fork in your mouth that hundreds of people have drooled on so try not to fool yourself

12. televisions and computer monitors

13. houseplants. similar to the bedbug warning above, you need to screen these for pests like fungus gnats and mealybugs

14. dressers, wardrobes, china hutches, cabinets, chests of drawers, etc

15. mirrors

16. clothes hangers

17. moving boxes

18. mattresses to a certain extent. I don't like secondhand used mattresses but unstained, unused mattresses are surprisingly common, especially since the foam mail order mattress boom started and people keep getting told by the mattress companies to just get rid of/keep any mattresses they want to return for flaws or wrong sizes or whatever. bedbug warning on this obviously

19. sheets and towels. you gotta launder them obviously

20. basic clothing, especially for kids. normie type clothing is so numerous people often just throw them away because they can't get anyone to take them

21. kitchenware like cooking utensils and pots n pans. don't use chipped or scratched Teflon/nonstick if you can help it. everyone needs one basic steel chef knife, which can be sharpened and maintained indefinitely. people throw these away CONSTANTLY

22. household consumables like laundry soap and dish soap. people often accidentally buy the wrong brand, scent, or develop allergies and want to get rid of extra

23. pet supplies like collars, leashes, dog crates, litter boxes, litter itself, dog beds, toys, carriers, etc

24. medical equipment of all kinds. people who take care of all kinds of patients end up with tons of leftover, sealed, miscellaneous stuff when that person recovers or dies, and they often give it away. adult diapers, hospital beds, IV stands, crutches, walkers, wheelchairs, fracture boots and splints, knee braces, canes, catheter packs, ice packs, heat packs, sterile paper sheeting, gauze, slings, over-the-door stretching and rehab pulleys, mattress protectors, etc

25. washers and dryers, both the basic household cube type and the small twin tub or rock tumbler type. people upgrade these when the old ones are still working, just squeaky or a little weird or sometimes just old

26. vacuum cleaners. secondhand ones are sort of icky but you can get rid of the ickiness by wiping them down with a rag and isopropyl alcohol inside and out. use an exacto or utility knife to slice off the hair and string wrapped around the roller. buy a new filter on Amazon. people throw away vacuums that work perfectly all the time because they don't actually know how to clean them out or do maintenance. bedbug and pet hair warning obviously

27. microwaves

28. refrigerators

30. lamps

31. any kind of exercise equipment including stationary bikes, ellipticals and weights/weight benches

32. any kind of piano. there's a grand on my local Craigslist for free rn

33. scrap wood and lumber

34. pallets

35. wood shipping crates

36. newborn, toddler and baby equipment like breast milk pumps and storage, bottles, bottle racks, diapers, etc. anything a little guy will grow out of fast will end up being given away

37. air conditioners, humidifiers and dehumidifiers. these will be most numerous during their respective off seasons

list updated 2/13/24 based on recent Craigslist trawling

38. jars, both canning type jars and clean food jars like from pickled or jelly bought at the store

39. rugs. most of my rugs are sidewalk finds. rugs will almost always be dirty. a decent consumer grade rug cleaner costs under $100, it's cheaper to just buy one if you have the space to store it. flushing the scavenged rug with soap, hot water, vinegar, alcohol, etc will clean almost anything but huge bedbug and allergen warning on this item

[doggyspeakart]

✩ Make your own Kyrii Plushie ✩

Thank you @free-sewing-patterns and @jestersneopia for asking so kindly for me to release my pattern dupe! :3 These guys are very intricate little plushies so I did my best to make something comprehensive. I also made detailed instructions which I will include after the readmore, so long post ahead!

McD's Plush Kyrii

What you will need:

•The two included images printed on 8.5"x11" (A4/Letter) paper.

•Enough of your desired Fabrics (reference the pattern size on your paper, you don't really need much at all)

✩ I recommend a short pile faux fur or other nonstretch fabric for the two body colors, and a long pile (1-4cm) faux fur for the mane and tail.

✩ You can also make the mane and tail using yarn or doll hair wefts by attaching them (sewn or glued) to a backing fabric like cotton or felt.

•Scissors or precision knife to cut fabric.

•Sewing implements (needle, pins, thimble, thread scissors, etc.)

•Thread matching one or both of your body color fabrics.

•black thread or embroidery floss for the mouth embroidery.

✩embroidery floss or thread in your desired eye colors (recommended a white for sclera, an iris color, and a black for outlines)✩OR✩buttons or safety eyes in your desired size and color.

•Stuffing (two or three handfuls of polyfill will do the job)

✩ribbon or cord to use as arm tension band and/or a loop to clip hardware like keychains and backpack hangers.

((✩ optional ))

General note: default suggested stitch length is 3mm apart unless stated otherwise.

Step 1

Print out the pattern, making sure to format your printer to use the full page with no margins. Check print preview to be sure nothing is cut off. (I made the piece inventory sheet to sort of offset any default margin weirdness but I'm new to this so let me know if it messes up.)

Step 2

Conceptualize your design and gather your materials. Are you cloning one of the plushies already out there, or making your own design? It is always good to keep reference on hand during any art project!

What special design elements are you translating to plush form? Keep in mind this pattern is small and intricate and it might be easier to omit or simplify certain design elements if you are working from something more detailed.

The cutting guide assumes 1 base color, 1 accent color, and 1 fur color with no significant shape, size, or design difference to the original McD's plushie. (Only a few fixes for symmetry and fur direction.)

Step 3

Prepare your base material for cutting. If you are doing embroidery or applique designs this may be easier while the fabric is flat and whole. Same with fur wefting, do anything like that while you have one big piece of fabric to work with. Trace the pattern pieces using chalk, heat erase pen, or some other washable marking tool using the cut guide provided. (I recommend cutting out any shape you need to add details to from the pieces inventory page, then trace those pieces on your fabric in roughly the same positions as the cut guide page.) Then do any embroidery or details you need to do while the pattern is flat.

Embroidery tips:

• Use a stiff backing piece like interfacing or felt behind your fabric to make the embroidery more durable and stiff.

•Use a back stitch or chain for lines, line in color for crisp color-changes.

•Parallel vertical lines close together catch the light and read as blocks of color best.

•Don't use stitches that are too long or loose, build stitches up diagonally like a brick pattern instead, the key is to attempt to stay parallel.

•If you are using sewing thread instead of embroidery thread, use two or three strands at once to save time.

•When you are done, cut away your backing fabric/interfacing a little outside where your embroidery stops so as not to interfere with future seams.

Step 4

Cut out your materials. If you didn't need to trace from the pieces inventory for pre-cut details, then you can just pin the cut guide paper to your fabric and cut it directly. Otherwise simply follow your trace and cut out your pieces. Be sure to keep track of which pieces go on the left and right of your plushie.

Step 5

Begin assembly by sewing all your darts first, those will be on each side of your face, inner leg, arm bottom, belly, and back pieces. Follow the blue lines that appear anywhere that says "dart" and any sew lines that create a V-like dip in the perimeter of the piece (like the arm bottom and belly pieces). Fold the seam allowance inside your seam so that the right sides of the fabric end up with a clean, unnoticeable seam. I recommend a tight, short straight-stitch about 2mm apart on darts.

Step 6

Make the loose body parts.

Sew together ears, arms, and tail by placing right sides together and sewing around based on the solid black lines in the pattern.

•Each ear will have a base color piece and an accent color piece. Make sure their shape lines up so that right sides of the fabric are together. The ear pieces are fairly flat and their sew lines should line up perfectly. Use any stitch you are comfortable with, straight stitch about 3mm apart works just fine.

•Sew one top arm piece and one bottom arm piece together for each arm. The discrepancy in their shapes creates a slight twist that gives the arm part a tube-like shape. I recommend pinning the pieces at the ends and wrist first to get the tension/gathering correct on the arm part. Any stitch works but a straight stitch will probably be easier to keep track of tension with or to rip if you make a mistake and need to retry. Keep it tight, about 2mm apart.

•For the tail, sandwich your pieces right sides together so that all the fur is tucked inside and you can sew the edges with a secure stitch like a whip or back stitch.(about 3-4mm apart) You might need to pick or brush out the fibers if they get caught in the seam.

Once you finish each piece, flip it inside out, wrong sides should remain inside while the right sides of the fabric show and all seam allowance remains inside. If any edges are having trouble flipping inside out, use a thin tool like a crochet hook or chopstick to prod them from the inside.

Stuff the 2 arms until they hold a 3D shape, firm fill recommended. Leave the other pieces in this step unstuffed.

You should have two ears, two arms, and one fluffy tail.

Step 7

Shape the face.

With the dart now sewn into the cheek, the two seams with the || registration marks should be much closer in length. Line the seam up according to the marks and fudge the rest of the length using tension. I recommend  using a ladder stitch on the right sides while keeping in mind the general size of the seam allowance.

Repeat on the other side.

When you are done, your face piece should have curvy cheeks.

Step 8

Build up the head.

Connect the forehead piece to the face piece, the curve's center goes right above the nose.

Sew in the chin piece along lower jaw.

There is a bit of leeway into how long the ears will be and which angle they stick out. For best results, give it a test right side out and pin where you like the ears to stay.

The ears go into the notches on the top of the face piece, about half of the ear should fit into that notch. Sew it into that notch, any remaining ear folds around that top seam towards the forehead and is stitched down to give the ear a slight curve that helps it remain upright.

When you're finished you should have the (bald) head.

Step 9

Construct the body.

Sew the two inner leg pieces onto the sides of the belly piece.

Sew the back pieces onto the belly and inner leg piece, leaving the arm notches alone to make the arm holes. Sew all the way around the inner leg and to the center line on the belly where the dart seam sits. There may be some overlap/extra on the back piece.

Sandwich the tail between the two back pieces and sew them together. You can adjust the angle of the tail before you sew it in, the original plushie has its tail sticking up behind the back. (Tip: if you fully close the tail seam you can use a loose couple of stitches to attach it to the body to make a hanging tail that wags when you pick up and shake the plushie.)

Your current parts should be a head, a body, two arms, and the hair piece.

Step 10

Attaching the hair piece to the head.

(OPTIONAL): First, if you want to add a keychain loop like the original plushies, snip two tiny holes into the backing of your hair piece about 6mm apart and feed a small length of cord or ribbon inside to create a loop on the outside.

Leave plenty of slack on the ends of the loop for a more sturdy hold.

Secure the loop and holes with a lot of sewing and/or glue to keep the fur fabric from fraying. Stitch down the ends of the cord/ribbon to the backing of your hair piece.

Start sewing the hair piece to the head beginning with the hairline along the forehead to get it nice and clean. Next sew across the ears and down the face piece on both sides.

Your head should now have hair, with the rest of the mane hanging down behind.

Step 11

Sew head to body.

Make sure the chin piece lines up to the belly piece, the bottom of the head should line up with the rest of the back piece on either side.

Next, sew down one side of the hair piece to the back piece, connecting the bottom edge to the seam near the tail and stopping.

Leave the other side seam of the hair piece open for arm adjustment and stuffing.

Step 12

Attach the arms.

Tension Band Explanation:

The original plushies have an arm tension band inside to keep the plushie's shape and seams intact when pulling on the arms. Generally I think this can be skipped without much issue, but could be a good idea if you plan to use this as a bag hanger or keychain plush, as the arms are the extremities most susceptible to getting caught on things, and when they are secured more comprehensibly they are less likely to rip the plush apart when yanked. Not a big deal if you just plan to keep them around the house.

(OPTIONAL): If you want to install your own arm tension band, start with the plushie right-sides-out. Sew the band to one arm and pull it taught through the chest to the other arm, securing the tension band before sewing the arms into the body piece.

To sew the arms, be sure to pose them and pin them in place right-side out first. (originals usually have one arm down and the other up on their chins/waving, though they vary a lot and there are plenty of ways to position them for different expressions.)

Then, either turn insideout again or ladder stitch the arms into place.

Almost there! You should have all your pattern pieces together at this point.

Step 13

Stuffing the plushie.

Make sure your plushie is right side out, with no incorrect seams or holes other than one of the seams between the hair piece and back piece. If you need to, gently prod a crochet hook or chopstick along the backs of seams to turn them out.

OPTIONAL: To make a weighted plush, add a small mesh bag of plastic pellets or weight of your choice to the bottom of the plushie before stuffing.

Add in your polyfill, pillow fluff, yarn fibers, scraps, or whatever you decide to stuff the plushie with, paying attention to the density of the stuffing.

I recommend keeping the head and feet more densely stuffed to keep their shape while leaving the body a bit more loose for a squishable belly.

Step 14

Close up the last seam.

Using a ladder stitch, close up your last seam, pulling tight and tying off your thread at the end for a clean, invisible seam.

Now that all the seams are in, you can now brush or pick any long fibers from the hair and tail out of the seams.

The plushie is whole! You can keep it like it is, or do some thread sculpting for a more finished look!

Step 15

Thread Sculpting.

(OPTIONAL):

Using thread in the color of your body fabrics, you can pull tension at various points to create a more sculpted shape. The original had two through the face (vertically through the chin up behind the forehead, and horizontally between the corners of the eyes), and two over top of each hand and foot to look like the separation of the toes. See the original pattern pieces for precise placement.

And that's it! You should have a finished plush kyrii!

If you have any questions or concerns please contact doggyspeak. Feel free to use this pattern, share it, or edit it with or without credit.

PLEASE DO NOT SELL THIS PATTERN OR INSTRUCTIONS! IT IS BOTH NOT ORIGINALLY DESIGNED BY ME AND ALSO SOMETHING I'VE WORKED VERY HARD ON!

If you would like to see more pattern reconstructions from me, show me your finished plushies and provide feedback and suggestions to me. I would love to see what you have made and hear what you'd like to see next! ^o^

[fauchart]

In-character letters I sent my friends... >:]c

This was back in february and almost all of them arrived on time for Valentine's Day which was a very funny timing. I love sending physical mail so much and all the more when it allows me to haunt my friends with their favorite characters addressing them/their OCs directly...

I changed the handwriting for each character, trying to adapt it to the kind of person that they were (I didn't go fishing for canon examples of it, just made some up myself hgbgh), wrote using pens, pencils, fountain pens or printing depending on what I felt fit each of them best, and also varied the kind of medium they used: actual proper letter paper, or printer paper with graphic elements on them, or crappy notebook paper... And it was all so fun to do ;v;

Bob for @claraknight The Flanders family and Meyers for @cherryberg The Lovejoy family for @salcreus Kent Brockman and Chalmers for @birbwell

Closeups of the Springfield Elementary Flyer:

I suck at graphic design and in this case? It at least felt very befitting for Springfield Elementary. Look at this catastrophically gaudy thing, printed on crappy cheap paper, and tell me that's not on-brand.

And the Itchy & Scratchy 'totally real' Animation Cel Meyers sent alongside his letter:

I genuinely made it the traditional way, on a plastic cel on which I drew the lineart on one side, and painted the colors with gouache on the other... It came out much better than I hoped it would and I'm so happy about it :] ♥

[uses-for-fics]

Rekindled | Manny Rivera

The scent of dry-erase markers and fresh off-the-printer paper filled YN’s classroom as she straightened the last set of desks. Any minute now, the district representative would arrive, and she felt like a nervous wreck. If she could prove that Abbott Elementary was a wonderful and supportive place for students, maybe, just maybe, the district would help with funding.

A soft knock at the door made her straighten her blazer and take a deep breath.

“Is this room 124?” a deep voice asked.

“Yes! You must be—” Her words caught in her throat as she turned to face him.

Manny Rivera.

He stepped inside, his presence knocking the air from her lungs. It had been years since their bittersweet goodbye in college, when they chose career paths over love. Now, he was standing in front of her. In her school. In her classroom.

His dark eyes flickered with recognition, mirroring the surprise on her face. But when he spoke, his tone was all business.

“I’m Manny Rivera, the district representative shadowing your classroom today.” He extended a hand.

For a split second, she hesitated. Then, schooling her features, she took his hand in a firm shake. “Mr. Rivera.” Her voice was steady, even as knots twisted in her stomach.

The air between them buzzed with unspoken words. She struggled to focus, her carefully planned pitch for funding slipping from her mind.

Sensing the shift, Manny cleared his throat and broke the silence. “So… what’s the lesson plan for today?” He rocked on his heels, a faint smile playing on his lips.

YN blinked, then forced herself to snap back into the moment. “Oh! Right.” She returned his smile. “I usually start by taking attendance, then move into some light yoga.”

Manny raised a brow. “Yoga?”

“I find it helps wake the kids up, especially since some of them come in still half-asleep. It gets their brains going in a healthy way—and gives latecomers a chance to settle in without missing important work.” She shrugged. “It happens to the best of us.”

His smile widened. “That actually makes a lot of sense.”

“After that, we’re continuing our lesson on vowels. I’ll give them a short four-question quiz to see who’s struggling and who’s ready to move on. Then it’s their turn at the library, recess, and later, a fun color-by-number activity—except they have to solve addition problems to get the numbers.”

As she spoke, her confidence returned, and her enthusiasm shone through.

Manny nodded, clearly impressed. “Sounds like a great plan. Just tell me where to sit, and the classroom is yours.”

Her nerves hadn’t completely faded, but as she gestured to a spot near her desk, one thought echoed in her mind: ‘This is going to be an interesting day.’

———

The morning went by smoothly, and soon enough, it was time for the vowel quiz. YN walked around the room as the students focused, her heels clicking softly against the tile floor.

As she passed one of the desks, she noticed a small hand shoot up hesitantly.

"Ms. LN?" a boy named Jordan whispered, glancing nervously at his paper.

She crouched beside him, offering a reassuring smile. "What’s up, buddy?"

"I… I think I don’t get number two," he admitted, chewing on his pencil. "But if I get it wrong, does that mean I fail?"

YN’s heart softened. She placed a gentle hand on his desk. "Oh, sweetheart, there’s no way to fail this. It’s just to see where everyone is, so I know how to help. You're learning, and that’s what matters."

Jordan still looked unsure, but before she could say more, Manny knelt beside them.

"You know, Jordan," Manny said, his voice warm, "when I was your age, I thought quizzes were scary too but, you know what helped?"

Jordan looked up at him, curious. "What?"

"Thinking of them as puzzles. You just take your time, figure out the pieces, and before you know it, everything clicks."

Jordan considered this, then nodded slowly and picked up his pencil again.

YN met Manny’s gaze, and for a moment, they shared a look—silent appreciation passing between them.

—At the Library—

The kids sat cross-legged on the floor, eyes locked onto Manny as he held up ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’. He was animated as he read, using different voices for each part, making the story come to life in a way that had the students giggling and hanging onto every word.

"Alright," Manny said, turning the page. "Who thinks this little guy can actually eat all this food?"

A few kids covered their mouths to suppress laughter, while others eagerly shook their heads.

"He’s gonna get a tummy ache!" one of them blurted out.

Manny gasped dramatically. "You think so? But what happens next?"

YN stood off to the side, arms crossed, watching with an amused smile. He was a natural with the kids, effortlessly keeping their attention, something even seasoned teachers struggled with. The way he engaged them, encouraged their curiosity, it was… endearing. And, if she was being completely honest with herself, maybe even a little attractive.

"I saw that," came a voice from behind her.

YN nearly jumped out of her skin. She turned to find Melissa Schemmenti standing next to a cart stacked high with books, arms crossed, a knowing smirk on her face.

"Saw what?" YN asked, feigning innocence.

Melissa arched a brow. "You checking out Mr. District Representative over there like he’s a brand-new book you’re thinking about borrowing."

"What?! No, I—" YN sputtered, her face heating up. "I was just—he’s observing my class, so I was—letting him observe!"

Melissa scoffed, reaching for a book on the cart. "More like you’re observing him." She shot YN a look before casually walking off toward the checkout desk, leaving her standing there, flustered, arms still awkwardly crossed over her chest.

YN exhaled sharply, forcing herself to focus on the kids again, on anything other than the way Manny’s sleeves were rolled up to his elbows or how his voice softened when he spoke to the students.

Melissa wasn’t entirely wrong, but YN wasn’t about to admit that.

She shook her head, took a deep breath, and tried—tried—to keep her emotions in check but as Manny caught her eye from across the room and gave her a small, knowing smile, she knew it was going to be harder than she thought.

———

"Go on, take your break," Ms. Teagues said, waving YN off with a knowing smile. "I’ll keep an eye on the little rascals."

YN hesitated, but the pile of vowel quizzes waiting on her desk was calling her name. "You’re a lifesaver."

She headed back inside, surprised to find Manny already at her desk, sleeves rolled up, flipping through the tests.

"You don’t have to do that," she said, setting down her coffee.

He smirked. "I know. But I figured I’d help."

He reached into his bag, pulling out a container. The scent hit her first. Warm, spicy, and familiar.

"Are those… enchiladas?" she asked, eyes widening.

"Homemade," he confirmed, opening the lid. "You want some?"

She hesitated, but the smell was too good to resist. "I mean… if you’re offering."

Manny was halfway through marking a paper when he spoke, almost absentmindedly.

"I miss you, you know."

YN froze, her pen hovering above the test she was grading. The words landed like a sudden gust of wind, knocking the air from her lungs. She blinked, unsure if she had heard him correctly.

When she didn’t respond right away, Manny let out a breath and leaned back in his chair. "I don’t mean to put you on the spot," he said, running a hand through his hair. "It’s just… being here, watching you do what you love…it reminds me of how much I enjoyed being around you."

YN finally set her pen down, but she still couldn’t find the words to say.

Manny sighed and continued, his voice softer now. "But I don’t regret the path I chose after college. If I had to do it all over again, I would. Because I love my job. I love what I do, and I know you love what you do, too." He exhaled, shaking his head slightly. "The only thing I ever really wished was that we could be on good terms, you know? That we could… not have this weight between us."

The sincerity in his voice tugged at something deep in her chest. Finally, YN smiled, small at first, then genuine. "Manny, I don’t resent you for choosing your career. I think it’s great that you love your job because… I love mine, too. And if things had gone differently, who knows where we’d be now? But the truth is, I only ever wished the best for you."

Manny looked at her then, really looked at her, and for a long moment, neither of them spoke.

It was one of those rare silences that wasn’t awkward, but rather filled with a quiet understanding. A moment suspended in time, where the weight of the past and the possibilities of the future seemed to hang in the air between them.

His gaze flickered down to her lips for just a second before he cleared his throat and looked away, a small, smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Before either of them could say anything else, the door suddenly swung open.

"Hey, YN! Sorry to interrupt," Jacob called out, stepping inside with a handful of supplies. "Do you have any extra glue sticks? I kinda miscalculated my science activity supply list, and now I’m in a bit of a bind—literally."

YN let out a breathy laugh, shaking her head as she stood up. "Yeah, Jacob. Check the supply cabinet."

Manny took the interruption as a cue. He pushed back from the desk, stretching as he stood. "I should get going anyway."

YN looked up at him. "You sure?"

"Yeah." He smiled, softer this time. "But I’ll be back tomorrow. Gotta monitor more classes, after all."

As he walked to the door, he hesitated for just a second before turning back.

"See you tomorrow, Ms. Ln."

She smirked. "See you tomorrow, Mr. Rivera."

And just like that, he was gone but the feeling he left behind? That lingered.

[undefinedkosmos]

Bookbinding: The Secret Garden

Having been at this hobby for over a year now, I decided it was high time to make something I could share with people who aren't part of Fandom. Project Gutenberg to the rescue, with a copy of The Secret Garden, something that holds special meaning for me and my parents to whom I will be gifting the book.

This was my first time incorporating more than one color of foil in my cover designs. I'm really happy with the effect!

I used soie perlee silk thread for the hand-sewn endbands and jute fiber marbled paper for endpapers. With my favorite trick of using the same paper for an Oxford hollow for that peep of color in the spine when the book is open.

I recently was gifted a color printer, so of course I had to play with incorporating color in the typeset.

It was challenging to capture the nature of the cover colors in a still photograph, but I'm enamored with that colorshift as you turn the book over in your hands! All in all, I think this is some of my best work to date.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

We bullied HP into a minor act of disenshittification

I'm on a 20+ city book tour for my new novel PICKS AND SHOVELS. Catch me TORONTO TOMORROW (Feb 23) at Another Story Books, and in NYC on WEDNESDAY (26 Feb) with JOHN HODGMAN. More tour dates here.

Here in the darkest days of the enshittocene, enshittification is low quality and plentiful, but even in this target-rich environment, one company stands out as pioneering champions of enshittification: HP.

Every page in the enshittification playbook was printed in farcically expensive HP ink, and if you try to run a copy off for yourself, the printer will stop five times and force you to print a "calibration page" that is solid color from top to bottom, consuming about $10 worth of ink. Don't like it? Die mad.

HP drips with contempt for its customers. They make printer-scanners that won't scan unless all four ink cartridges are installed and haven't reached their best-before dates. They make printers that won't print black and white if your $50 magenta cartridge is low. They sell you printers with special half-full cartridges that need to be replaced pretty much as soon as the printer has run off its mandatory "calibration" pages. The full-serving ink you buy to replace those special demitasse cartridges is also booby-trapped ��� HP reports them as empty when they're still 20% full.

HP tricks customers into signing up for irrevocable subscriptions where you have to pay every month, whether or not you print, and if you exceed your subscription cap, the printer refuses to work, no matter how much ink is left. Now, about those HP ink subscriptions. When the company launched them, they offered a pot-sweetener meant to tempt in the wary: a one-price "lifetime subscription" that would let you print 15 pages every month, for so long as you owned the printer. But a couple years later, all those "free ink for life" customers got an email telling them that they were being migrated to a monthly payment plan, and if they didn't like it, they could eat shit and throw away their printers:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/11/06/horrible-products/#inkwars

HP pioneered the use of copyright law to prevent third parties from refilling ink cartridges or making their own compatible cartridges. Section 1201 of Bill Clinton's Digital Millennium Copyright Act makes it a felony to distribute a "circumvention device" to bypass access controls on a copyrighted work. By designing its cartridges do undertake a little cryptographic handshake with the printer to verify their "authenticity," HP ensures that anyone who markets a bypass device to let you choose which ink you use in your own damn printer is a felon, liable to five years in prison and a $500 fine under DMCA 1201.

Of course, nature finds a way. Hardware hackers have come up with some insanely cool bypass devices for HP printer cartridges, like these paper-thin, flexible, adhesive-backed circuit boards that wrap around third party cartridges, intercepting communications between the printer and a salvaged HP security chip:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/30/life-finds-a-way/#ink-stained-wretches

But HP fights back, and they fight dirty. For example, they periodically push out "security updates" for their printers that break compatibility with third party cartridges. To prevent HP customers from discovering and blocking these fake security updates, HP designs them to lie dormant for months after installation, until everyone has clicked "OK," and then all those Manchurian Printers wake up and betray their owners by refusing to use their ink:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer

All of this has allowed HP to monotonically raise – and raise – and raise – the price of printer ink to the point where it is now the most expensive fluid a civilian can purchase without a permit. Printer ink now runs over $10,000/gallon, meaning that you print out your grocery lists with colored water that costs more than the semen of a Kentucky Derby winner.

HP is truly the poster child for enshittification, and also, patient zero in the enshittification pandemic:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/02/18/ink-stained-wretches/#hache-pe

HP's enshittificatory impulses run wild. They hunt relentlessly for ways to make things worse for their customers in order to make things better for themselves. Last week, they came up with a humdinger, even by their own standards. They announced that people who called their customer service line would be subject to mandatory 15-minute waits, even if there was a rep who was free to talk with them:

https://www.theregister.com/2025/02/20/hp_deliberately_adds_15_minutes/

During this mandatory 15-minute wait, customers would be bombarded with a recorded voice demanding that they solve their problems by consulting HP's website and its awful chatbots. In a competitive market, businesses can contain their customer service costs by making better products. In a monopolistic market like the printer racket, companies can deliberately introduce maddening antifeatures to their products, and then fob off the customers who reach such a peak of frustrated rage that they resort to calling a customer support number on chatbot that will use its spicy autocomplete to hallucinate nonexistent drivers and imaginary troubleshooting steps.

When I saw this, I thought, whelp, that's HP all right. Shameless.

But they're not entirely shameless. Within a day of Paul Kunert breaking the story in The Register, HP had reversed its policy, citing "feedback" (a corporate euphemism that means "fury"):

https://www.theregister.com/2025/02/21/hp_ditches_15_minute_wait_time_call_centers/

This is a rare win for the forces of disenhittification and it deserves recognition. It turns out that in these Mangionean times, companies can actually be bullied into comporting themselves with marginally less sleaze and cruelty. It's especially noteworthy that this took place in the UK, where Prime Minister Kier Starmer has invited tech companies to pick Britons' pockets without fear of consequence, by firing the top competition regulator and replacing him with the former head of Amazon UK:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/01/22/autocrats-of-trade/#dingo-babysitter

Even in these degraded times, we can get these fuckers. When Sonos enshittifies its smart speakers, we can get its CEO fired:

https://www.theverge.com/2025/1/13/24342179/sonos-ceo-patrick-spence-resignation-reason-app

When Unity sticks its hand in the pockets of every game dev in the world, we can get its entire executive team shitcanned:

https://venturebeat.com/games/john-riccitiello-steps-down-as-ceo-of-unity-after-pricing-battle/

It doesn't always work. Enshittifiers rack up some Ws, and make bank even as they immiserate 500 million users (looking at you, Steve Huffman – the people have long memories):

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2023_Reddit_API_controversy

But if we can bully the psychotic monsters who populate HP's Executive Row out of their enshittificatory plans, then it's worth trying it every time.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/02/22/ink-spattered-pitchforks/#racehorse-semen

[xanaxspritz]

my professor!nanami headcanons 🩵cw: teacher x student relationship, power imbalance, afab! reader, slightly aged up nanami, slight dub/non-con. minors pls DNI

professor!nanami was a man held in high regard among faculty and students at your university. with many research grants under his belt awards, and a fast-track to become tenured barely into his 30s, he was practically a campus celebrity.

when professor!nanami asked you to be his TA for the year, a highly coveted position, you nearly had a heart attack. elated, you accepted.

you spent a lot of time at professor!nanami's office. while you graded papers he was getting work done well past office hours. he showers you with compliments of your brilliance, your attentiveness, and your work ethic. "good girl" he praises you when you successfully complete a practice exam for the students with flying colors.

when professor!nanami gets up every half hour from his desk and "accidentally" brushes against your behind when using the printer. you swear you felt something stiff in his pants when he does

professor!nanami asks you what you're up to for the weekend one friday evening. "just studying, nothing planned so far" you shrug. "no plans?" he repeats. "its hard to believe such a beautiful young girl has nothing going to do on a Friday night," he smiles at you.

subsequently, professor!nanami invites you to dine at his place. a bonding activity he calls it. you learn he's also a hard drinker, drinking through 3 beers and nearly all of the champagne bottle he bought for you, while you're getting tipsy off a wine glass.

professor!nanami's gaze is studious and analytical while listening to you, almost as if you're delicious prey he's about to catch.

your face is growing hotter, and you're giggling nonstop at the funny cat-shaped clock he has in the kitchen."you're one of the best TAs ive ever had you know? always so obedient for me," he smirks sliding a hand on your thigh. your breath hitches as his hand wanders even further up, toying with the elastic band of your panties. it's no secret that professor nanami is a very attractive man. there's probably not a student that would hesitate to sleep with him. all this attention he's giving you, the intimate dinner, the thoughtful conversation, makes you feel even more special.

you allow him to get even closer. he slips a digit inside your already slick pussy. your lips touch his in a passionate kiss, his tongue masterfully entertwining yours with his. "are you still my good girl?he asks, breaking the kiss. his breath smells like sapporo beer, and he looks even hotter with button up shirt half undone. nod your head yes as he carries you to his couch, eager to have his way with you.

[fashionteahouse]

out of your league - paul lahote x reader

AN: another part :) thank you everyone for loving thirty two parts of this series ❤️

<<prev >>next

Your vision was blurry as you blinked awake. A small sack of weight settled on your chest as you remembered falling asleep on the couch.

The child was fast asleep on your chest, softly snoring away.

The blinking lights caught you by surprise as you carefully held them to you as you slowly sat up.

Paul was crouched as he was plugging in cords to the large Christmas tree that took up the living room.

“Whoa.” you whispered in awe as you looked at the decorated tree that was standing tall. He looked over his shoulder at you, just as the angel was in his hand.

“I would ask you to do the honors but..”

“It’s fine.” you chuckled quietly.

He turns and stuck it on the top without a trace of a problem.

Your kid loved being by the Christmas tree. The bright colors of the lights wrapped around the tree made them smile and want to play near it.

From time to time, they just stood near or in front of it. Watching the lights, even reaching out to touch it with curious hands. Pictures were cute to look back on.

You even printed them out with a photo printer. Scribbling on the back of pictures to document the date.

Paul held the small frame picture of the baby he liked. He sat on the edge of the bed and you stood close next to him as your arm was wrapped around his shoulder as you looked down at the picture as well.

“They’re so beautiful.” He speaks quietly.

“Like you.” You speak back tenderly.

“No. Like you.” He disagreed.

“No. Like us.”

The smell of cookies filled the home on Christmas Eve as Paul grinned as you slid the cookies off of the spatula and onto the plate.

You then watch wide eyed as he ate the entire plate of cookies, except one, and down the glass of milk in one sitting. You didn’t even finish the one cookie you had in your hand.

“Great. You left me with the celery.” you roll your eyes with a soft pout as you pick up the cookie he left.

“You prefer ranch or peanut butter?”

You narrowed your eyes at him as he thought his own joke was comedic.

Christmas day wasn’t filled with comrade. It was filled with ripped wrappers and sounds of joy. Charlie Brown’s Christmas in the background was watching as the ring that blinged at you, was being slid onto another finger on the same hand that sported your wedding band.

The handheld statue that you made with blood, sweat, and tears was stressful to hide for this day. Paul held it in his large hands as he chuckled in delight.

The flower was now preserved in another form. It would stay vivid forever as the statue was a replica of the relic flower that you gave him.

“How the fuck did you make this feel like real petals?”

You could only tickle with laughter as he nuzzled your neck.

You and Paul stood at the window of the light morning as the white snowflakes fell down. Your kid stared wide eyed as they watched the snow.

It was slow and peaceful. It seemed as if the world stopped as you and Paul helped your kid tear open their presents.

They didn’t pay attention to the new toys. Only the boxes.

“How about that?” Paul muttered as you couldn’t help but laugh at the situation.

Paul sat them in a big box. They laughed hard and squealed in delight as Paul pretended that they were in a rocket ship dodging the invisible asteroids.

Bella was lying down on the couch when you went to see her after the holidays. Jacob was in the kitchen making her something to eat.

“How are you feeling?” You ask as you allowed her to rest her legs in your lap. She wasn’t obviously showing yet.

“Okay. Just tired. I’ve been puking all morning.” She says as she sits up against a fluffed pillow.

“Definitely don’t miss that.” You replied. She smiles a bit.

“I wish you were going through this with me.” She says.

“Believe me. Paul is trying to make sure it happens.” You joked.

“Our kids could grow up to be best friends. We should name their names close to each other’s.”

“That would be adorable.”

Jacob comes in with a plate of eggs.

“I’m surprised you haven’t turned into a little egg yet, Bells.” He joked to her as he planted a kiss on the crown of her head. She groaned a bit as she hissed a shut up to him. You chortled at their behavior.

“It’s one of the only things where the smell or taste doesn’t make me nauseous.” She then tells you as she starts eating.

“Yeah. Coffee was gross with me. Oh, and I remember when Paul tried to cook me a steak. The smell was hor-ri-ble. I even forced myself to eat it cause he makes the best steak.”

“Bet it still went all back into the toilet.” Jacob says and you roll your eyes.

Spending more time at home, Paul seemed to be very relaxed. You told Charlie you will resume courtroom sketching in the future if the opportunity still stands. He told you it will be waiting for you whenever you were ready.

A feeling of security radiated from Paul and onto you as each day he came home from patrol with contentment.

You were always there.

The sight of blocks scattered, splattered food that stained the small bibs and the curious eyes of your kid, were what made you feel some type of ease. Knowing that you didn’t have to leave them behind felt like a relief.

It constantly felt warm in your spirit.

He pulled a warm cinnamon roll that you baked from the baking pan.

“Kiddo’s asleep.” You say as you wrap your arms around his waist. He hummed out a response as he chewed. You pressed your cheek to his arm back as you started to rub his chest as you enjoyed the smoothness of his skin on your hands.

“Hope you know what you’re doing.”

You chuckle as you pull away but he pulled you close.

He hugged you.

It was a hug that made you squeeze him back. It felt like hugging an oversized teddy bear.

“I love you so much.” you muffled in his chest as you breathed in his natural scent. Your arms were tight around him.

“I love you forever.” He kissed an open mouth kiss on your cheek, to your jaw, and to your sensitive neck. He shoved the rest of his treat into his mouth as you watch him. You couldn’t take his eyes off of him as you grip the island with one hand. Your heart raced at the shirtless sight of him.

His fluid movements were graceful, even as he opened the fridge to drink out of a carton.

“I turned down a trip.” You reveal.

It was true. Coincidentally, a fashion shoot was happening, it was creative and you liked the idea. You would’ve been gone for three days as they wanted you to sketch it for a magazine section for them.

“I don’t want you to think I’m holding you back.” he says as he shoots the empty carton into the trash with a smooth swish.

“I don’t think that.” You shake your head.

“Do you get where I’m coming from?”

“…Me traveling away, wouldn’t have been as bad had I made better decisions in the past.”

He looked off to the side before looking at you, “No. After a long ass day, this is what I want to come home to.” He gestured to the intimate setting in the kitchen.

“Okay.”

“It was so depressing when you would be away. You’re settled. Not all over the place. I’m settled. I’m not all over the place.”

“Sorry. But, hey. We get to do whatever we want here.” You point out.

He shakes his head as he looked at you. It wasn’t in disapproval or disappointment, it was as if he was making an observation in his head.

“Can I confess something?” He lets out.

“What?”

“I think…Never mind.”

“Please tell me. I hate that so much.” You chuckled.

“I think having our baby is the best thing that’s happened for us because…If we hadn’t done so, you would’ve eventually left me.”

“Not true. Come on, Paul. Why would you say that?”

“It’s true. That New York trip was the thing that almost tore us apart in the first place, Y/N.”

You sigh with a shake of your head.

“Yeah, I know you don’t want to hear it but fuck it. It’s true.”

“Well, it didn’t tear us apart.”

“After that, it was Italy. You were strong enough to leave Italy, come home early, because of that baby. Not for me.”

“It was for you.” You furrow your eyebrows. He deadpanned his expression.

“If it was for me, you would’ve told me sooner and you wouldn’t have kept me in the dark for so long. It took you to almost die. After it took you to be linked to Cullen.”

“You were on my mind too.”

“Couldn’t have. Cullen exposed you to a different lifestyle. He exposed you of what you could’ve had and plus some. He exposed you to what I can’t give you…I genuinely believe if things were different, you would choose him. I think deep down, you’re in denial about having to have had a smidgen of feelings for him..” He vented.

You listen as you knew in your heart that he just wanted to let it out. Let out his feelings without any interjections. He never got over what all happened.

It was silent for a moment before you speak again in a gentle tone.

“Good thing I’m not with Cullen. I would be unfulfilled. Unsatisfied. I like our life. I’m sorry about making the wrong decisions.” you say as you cleaned the high chair tray off.

“I want you to know that you’re good at this. Being here with us. You bring me peace and I just want to do the same for you if you would just let me.”

“I want you to know that I wouldn’t trade this for anything.”

Mittens snug on your hands, you bent down and reached into the hot oven. The snow was dried up and the weather was warmer as the new season began.

The small but personal cake was also hot as you set it on the stove to cool off. You slide off the mittens and put icing into the plastic icing bag.

By the time you were finished, the cake was cooled off and you put the icing on.

You stick one candle in it and Paul lights it with a lighter.

Both you and Paul walk towards the smiling child in their highchair as you both sing an off key but heartfelt happy birthday to them.

One entire rotation around the planet Earth.

You and Paul had to help them blow the candle out.

As you looked at their smeared face as they grabbed at the cake, your fingers continued to snap pictures at such scene.

You snapped pictures at the child trying to feed Paul cake. He was bent at the side as their small fingers pushed it into his mouth. He chewed and kissed their cheek as he told them thank you.

“Mommy, come get some cake.” Paul encouraged.

You bent at their side and the cake didn’t go to your mouth. They pushed it on your nose, missing your mouth. You squeeze your eyes shut as you groaned, wiping off the cake from your face with napkins.

Paul continually clicked the camera while laughing heartily at you.

You and Paul decided to keep their first birthday intimate. Without the comrade, without the outside opinions, just you three.

“You’re so cute, it hurts.” you gush to the cooing baby as you put on a diaper from their bath time.

“Nice to know all of my hard work didn’t go to waste.” Paul says as he looked at the taken pictures you were looking through on the camera.

“Oh, shush.” you chuckled.

A stuffed silver wolf was in Paul’s large hand as he nuzzled it on their cheek. They smile largely as they take the wolf. They hold it and stare at it.

“It’s for you.” Paul cooed to them.

It looked very similar to his own wolf.

The child became very attached to it.

They were carrying it while Paul pushed the shopping cart. They sucked on their pacifier as you reach to grab a particular item from the shelf.

A guy, around your age, points at your shirt. His acknowledgment to fashion was evident as you could spot a pair of diy pants hugging his legs. He only says the brand. You smile and nod friendly at him to let him know he was spot on as if you two have known each other for a long time.

“God, seriously?” You playfully nudge to Paul after setting the item in the cart, sniggering at him as he was glaring at the guy walking away with a bag of tomatoes.

“He doesn’t even know you.”

“Yes. You’re right.”

Your kid was staring at Paul.

“You’re too friendly.” Paul shakes his head.

“You’re too mean.”

“Just like you’re supposed to.”

You held his hand.

The sun was shining more but Paul wasn’t. He was more irritated, more sharp. More possessive.

It was subtle. His hand would be at your hip, fingers resting at your neck. You brushed it off, feeling that his wolf wanted to be close. You could feel the wolf being overprotective of both you and the baby.

The door clattered shut as you walked with the kid sleeping with their head on your shoulder. You lie them down and Paul was right at your presence.

His darkened gaze followed you and you come out of the child’s room. He reached for you but you pretended it was a game as you dodge him. His eyes turned mischievous as he sauntered towards you.

You speed walk. You stumble forward a bit and hold onto the wall to balance yourself.

“Wow, that was embarrassing, I’m going to sleep.” you mutter sheepishly but he chuckled.

“No. Stay in the mood.” he says and takes over, lifting you to where he walks the rest of the way to the bedroom. He sets you to your feet before his large hands cupped your breasts underneath your shirt. He was hungry with the kiss that he was drowning you in with.

You try to move your lips from his to say something, but it was too late.

“Wait!-”

With a low grunt, your vintage runway shirt that you looked high and low online to buy at an unbeatable price, was ripped into shreds that you didn’t think were possible.

You gasp.

“Paul-”

You were cut off by a deep kiss. Your bare chest was pressed against his hot chest.

He drilled you hard into the bed. Your breathing was paused as you felt the deep tingling sensation overpower you. His hips dug and mushed into yours as you moaned in submission. Your head and upper body scoot back off the edge of the bed. Each rhythmic thrust had a heavy groan that came out of his mouth.

He keeps a firm grip on your legs as he keeps them open. You couldn’t feel your face as you were blinded by the light. He made three last but hard thrusts with loud grunts to match before he let loose of his load in you.

He pants and scoots you up a bit from hanging and lays carefully on you, never disconnecting from you.

You both ended up napping, connected.

“I should really punish you for ruining this.” you say. You tried to be mad but you just couldn’t.

“It’s just a shirt.” he nonchalantly says as the child was being held by him.

“Says the one who never wears one.” You sigh as you stuffed the ruined fabric in the trash.

“Oh, please. Don’t you start complaining now.” he smugly smiled.

Paul had left before you had woken up, you spent the day with the child.

At breakfast the next morning, your kid was very smiley to you. Your heart wouldn’t stop melting.

You even strapped them in the car and took them to a library.

You carried them on your hip as they had your necklace in their hand, in their mouth.

In the children’s section, you picked up books that were vivid as you encouraged them to look at it. They thought that the stuffed animal that they brought was more interesting.

“I guess no to this too.” you tease to them quietly as you pushed the book forward on the shelf.

You noticed that you felt weird. You knew where it was from.

When you came home, Paul was lounging on the couch. He perked up as he watched you set the sleeping child in their crib.

He smelled the metallic smell before you could even walk past him.

Shutting the bathroom door, you peak in your underwear.

You frown at your underwear before tugging them down.

The shower sprays on and the bathroom door opens and closes. Paul has your face cupped unto his hands. For the first time ever, you were sad that you hadn’t missed it.

“I came on.”

“That’s okay.” He replied before tugging his shorts down, immediately bare as the day he was born. An excited pit burst in your stomach.

“It seemed like the first time, it was easier for me to get knocked up.”

“It will happen, when the time is right.” He added.

“I guess.” You say as your face slightly winced. He entered the shower with you as he used his hands to run soap suds over your body.

You both wash each other. He tugged at your towel as you clutched to it in the bedroom.

He peered at your nervous face. He cupped your chin.

“Y/N, it’s me. Come on.” He gently encouraged. You nervously produce your own small smile.

“What? You’re scared?” He teased.

“Scared of what?” you try to be courageous but the shyness overshadowed it.

He chuckled softly as he brushed a thumb against your cheekbone.

“You gonna let me take care of you?”

You pause before you slowly nod.

On the bedroom floor, a beach towel was spread out. Paul took his time to rub against your aching center.

A shaky whine spilled from your lips as you felt his hot length slide right into you as he gripped your hips.

He slowly pumped in you to get you comfortable.

You were too comfortable. You felt your back arch deep as his strokes became deeper, more fluid. Your face scrunched up as an erotic moan of his name came out of your mouth as he sighed out how fucking good you felt.

He was kneeled on one knee as his hips snapped into you. The tingles and the stars felt suffocating.

“What are you doing to me?” You moaned out with your eyes squeezed shut. His deep but breathy chuckle that turned into a sensual groan, sent a chill down your spine. His hands glided up your back as you relax, moving your hips back to meet his thrusts. He groaned and closed his eyes at the sky. You sighed out as your legs were shaky, but you both felt so good. It really felt like heaven.

His hand gripped the nape of your neck to pull you up. His steady pumps had you wailing raspy as his hand then held the front of your throat to keep you to him, one hand held your hips as your back was pressed to his chest. Your neck bared in submission. His mouth feasted on your neck and even realigned his teeth to the teeth marks, slowly biting down as you felt his deep thrusts in your stomach. You shuddered and trembled uncontrollably as he never slowed down, overstimulated wasn’t enough of a word to describe what you were feeling.

The television flowed through an action movie that Paul put on. You watched it for the gun fights. Your back was lying against his side as his hand was down your pants, resting against your cramping pelvic area, soothing the menstrual cramps. He was your own heating pad as his body heat soothed your lower back as well.

Your phone vibrates on the table and you never make an effort to grab it.

Paul gently nudged you.

“Your mother is calling.”

“…I know.” you say in a dismissing tone.

“Don’t do that.”

“Did we not just have a healthy dose of her lovely words?” you lazily point out referring to the dinner.

“Yeah, she’s a judgmental mother but she at least…In her own little way..Is looking out for you. She’s showing you she cares…It’s something I wish I could have.”

You stare at the television as you go silent.

“Just see what she wants.”

“I’ll let her text me.” You say as you don’t make an effort to move.

Over a lunch outting, you look at your mother’s genuine face as she poked at her side dish.

“I wanted to apologize for the things that I have said. Especially the things about Paul."

"That…Means..A lot." you say to her surprisingly sincere apology.

"I really want you to be happy, Y/N.”

“And I am.” you encouraged.

“Now the thing that it sad, is those desolate curtains you have hanging in your living room which is why I’m here to save your house. I can’t apologize for that.”

“Ha, ha, ha, ha.” you sarcastically laugh with a dry expression.

As you two picked out curtains, she tells you some news.

“Me and your father is thinking about relocating to Seattle.”

“..Oh.”

“We don’t need the house anymore. You’re moved out and we just want to downsize. Your dad is scoring big in Seattle and got a good opportunity. We’re going to see if we can put it on the market and so that we can move.”

“What about you know…The memories?”

“We make new ones. Memories will always remember us whether we remember them or not.”

Paul stood outside the child’s doorway, one shoulder pressed to the frame. He came home from Jacob’s garage, he wore his jacket but it wasn’t zipped. He watched with sharp eyes as you were curled on the floor beside your baby in a cozy robe.

You both stacked wooden blocks into a wobbly tower with the child babbled with excitement. You both ‘yay’ed’ and clapped each time a block was placed.

The child giggled free and sweet as you tickled their side.

Paul took a step forward and bent down to pick them up. It was like a record scratch as they sober up their laughter and stared at him with wide eyes.

The child’s mouth opened and whined. Paul’s face fell as his body stiffened. You stretch your arms out as they reach for you.

“Aw, baby.” You coo to them as they clutch onto you. They ease up their crying as you continued to carry them and walk them around a bit.

They wriggled deeper into your hold, their tiny fingers clutching to your robe. You rub their back after kissing their cheek.

They played in the living room as you hung the curtains up that your mother picked out. Stepping back, you crouch to your kid who was sitting on their butt looking up at you.

“You like it?” You cooed to them and they smiled.

Sticking your head in the bedroom, Paul was lounging on the bed, deep in thought. He still had his jacket on.

“Come see the curtains. They’re finally up.”

Silence.

You blinked as you walked slowly into the room, you peer at his figure that never reacted.

“Paul. Why are you ignoring me?” You asked patiently but carefully.

His face turned to you, it was deep with defiance, almost like a child’s.

“Fine.” You shrug and walk away but you don’t even get to take no more than two steps. His hot hand is on your wrist.

“They don’t love me anymore.”

“Who?” You ask.

“Our baby…Doesn’t even love me anymore.”

His eyes go to your mouth before saying with a scowl, “It’s not funny.”

“I’m not even laughing.” You say as he pulled you to mush your body next to him.

“You are.” He says and wipes a thumb on your lips and you’re smiling while shaking your head.

“You’re making me.” You say and push his hand away.

You then turn your head as he stares off. You briefly cup his face with one hand to make him look at you before letting go.

“Why are you saying that?” You asked gently.

“They’re up under you, now.”

You shrug, “So?”

“They’re not like that with me.”

“Crazy…And I thought you were the favorite.” You smiled a bit.

“Please.” He muttered.

“They love the little wolf you got them.” you point out as you smooth out his eyebrow with your thumb.

You held onto him. Even his wolf’s feelings were hurt. You open his jacket wide to showcase his chest to you kiss his heart.

“They’ll never stop loving their dad. Okay?” you whispered. His frown soften and you slowly smile as you cup his chin briefly.

Billy Black invited everyone over for a dinner. He made a spaghetti feast. Bella was craving it.

Paul watched as you smoothed out your outfit in the mirror as you got ready. Something that you’ve taken seriously with the extra time on your hands, you explored the art of fashion. It explained the increased online shopping.

“Meeting someone there?”

“Yeah, you.” You tell him as you apply a lip peptide tint across your lips.

Through bickering and as you raised your middle finger up at both Jacob and Quil for laughing teasing you about something, Billy greets someone at the door.

A man, a few years older than you, came over and both Jacob and Billy knew him. Jacob introduced Bella as his finance, it was a family friend, Billy was good friends with their dad. The man told Bella congratulations, pointing to the small bump that was forming on Bella and her hand.

You and Bella share a humorous look at each other as she adjusts her ring on her finger with her thumb.

Billy told Jacob to make the man and his father a to-go plate.

Your mouth was full of spaghetti as the man beamed his teeth at you.

“No, way.” he says to you. You point to yourself and he nods excitedly as he sticks out his hand. You shake it as you hurriedly chew and swallow.

Paul watched closely as he handed Angela the baby since she wanted to hold them and was sitting opposite to Paul.

“I’ve seen your stuff. You’re crazy with it, dude.”

“Oh. Thanks.” you relax into a smile.

“So what’s up? Any new artwork coming soon? It’s been quiet on your end.”

You chuckle and open your mouth to tell an answer but Paul butts in with his arm around the back of your chair.

“We’re trying to eat. Not talk about jobs.”

The man blinked at Paul as you held your breath.

“Just making conversation.” he says politely.

Paul leaned a bit with narrowed eyes, “Make it somewhere else.”

You turn to Paul and place a firm hold on his thigh as you quietly whispered as you tried to smile at him to take the attention off of the puzzled man, “Paul. Stop, please.” He looked at you but it didn’t seem to help because he now had his hand on the nape of your neck possessively, fingers pressing and caressing on the mark as he rested his hand there. Because of the nature of your bond, you felt the deep pit of excitement.

“I didn’t mean to be disrespectful. It’s nice to know that you know Billy and Jake. They’re good people.” the man tells you but he’s carefully trying to look at Paul in the eye. He’s on his way out of the door because Jacob already gave him the wrapped plates.

“You weren’t disrespectful. Thanks for the praise. I should have something done soon. Motherhood and the married life just keeps me busy is all.” you wave.

Leah stood across the room, watching the entire thing. The man leaves and she marches over to Paul glaring at him, “Seriously?”

“What?” Paul turns to her slowly.

“You really snapped over someone saying she’s talented. You’re unbelievable.”

“Mind…Your fucking business.” he says but she doesn’t back down. Her eyes turn ferocious.

“You don’t think we don’t see it? The way you hover over her? How nobody can’t talk to her? Your stupid wolf is acting like she’s property.” She points at how his grip on the nape of your neck was firmer, you didn’t realize the closeness of you and Paul’s bodies.

Your breath gets caught as he releases you and Paul’s fists clenched tightly it looked as if it hurt. You felt the wolf getting more and more fired up by her words.

“You tryna get down?” Paul stood up gracefully, the chair scraping back loudly. The excitement of feeling his wolf getting excited to fight almost scared you how nature it came.

“Oh, any day you want.” She snapped.

“Leah, no.” Seth begs.

“But not in front of your kid.” Leah shakes her head with a point at Paul.

People were watching the scene from the table. You felt embarrassed. You felt sorry for Bella’s worried face. Kim whispered in Angela’s ear and Billy took the baby from Angela’s lap and was trying to distract them, who were trying to fuss at the tension.

You grab Paul’s hand and tug it with sternness.

“Both of you stop. Paul, seriously. Chill.”

His chest heaved as he stormed out. You followed as you realized he never detached his hand from yours. You watch him as he paced outside. He panted as you felt his wolf scratch to the surface.

“Paul, please. You don’t have to act like that.”

“Why the fuck does everyone think you’re up for grabs, huh? You’re with me.”

“He complimented my work. Not me.” you inhale with patience and say calmly.

“Your work is you. It’s the same thing.” He gets close and points towards you.

“Oh my god. Is this who you are now?” you stared at him before you grab his finger gently move it away.

“You’ve changed too.” He jerks his head a bit.

You scoffed before turning and going back inside.

He never followed you in but you’re pulled into Jacob’s bedroom with Bella and Leah.

“You need to quit letting him bully you.” Leah starts in a hushed tone that was still dripping in fire.

“I’m not-”

“You are. You’re in denial.”

You looked away.

“It’s the wolf. Not him. I feel the wolf’s emotions and when he’s agitated. It’s not the man. I know how to deal with Paul.”

“It’s always been both. He has to control it. It’s all about balance, Y/N…Look I don’t know how long you want to keep pretending it’s normal.”

“You’re his partner. Just talk to him.” Bella offers as she subconsciously rubbed her belly.

You lied awake on your side as you felt the bed dip beside you.

A heavy hand was across your waist.

“I’m not in the mood.” you whispered.

Silence.

“Alright.”

You close your eyes and you felt his body shift a bit in bed. Next thing you know, you heard a low groan in his chest along with a soft beating sound. You slowly open your eyes back up.

Slowly, you turn over to find the sight of him lying on his back, slowly but rhythmically stroking himself. He turns his head to you and he catches you staring. He takes your hand and wraps it around himself continuing the rhythm. He groaned more comfortably.

As you stroke, he groaned with relief and puts both hands behind his head as he relaxed. You sit up and use both hands to stroke a steady rhythm as profanities spilled from his mouth. As you massaged his sack, he whispered lewd things you, warm liquid spilled over your hands as it spilled from the head of his flesh.

“I love you forever.” You whisper.

You actually saw his white teeth in the dark.

“I love you more.”

You and Paul both snarfed down bowls of cereal that next morning. The child squeezed the applesauce packet into their mouth.

Paul frowned as he held the baby that kept pushing him away. He tried to kiss them but they turned their head or leaned their head back. Even going as far as pushing his face with their small hand with a small fuss.

“Daddy has to go.” He tried to reason with their whining. He finally set them down and the child immediately cooed at you, wanting your attention.

They opened their drooling mouth, speaking in broken speech.

“Mommom.”

“Aw, you’re so cute.” you say to the baby as you pick them up. Paul sighed, he affectionately rubbed their head and they turn to look at him in your arms.

“See you two later, I guess.”

“Just calm down. They probably can feel your agitation.”

“I’m not agitated. You saying I’m agitated is going to make me agitated.” he says roughly. He gives you a sloppy kiss before heading out.

Days bled into one another.

Your kid continued to be clingy to you and you even took them with you to take a day in Seattle to where your mother invited you to see the place your parents had picked out, everything approved.

Your mother stood in the empty living room after an entire tour as you had the baby on your hip.

“What do you think?” She asks.

“It suits you two.” You say.

“We can make a day where we sort through the things that you want and don’t want. We’ll donate the things that you don’t want. I think I have stuff that you could give to the baby.”

“Cool.”

“I won’t buy any decor until you make me a painting.” She smiled.

You warmly chuckle, “Deal.”

She walked you to her car as you slowly strapped the kid in. You shut the car door and turn to your mom.

“Mom?”

“Yeah..?”

You stare at her. You wanted to ask advice but you felt it would give her legroom to judge. You decided to trust your instincts in dealing with marriage.

“I love you.” You just say.

“I love you too.”

Hearing the front door shut, you exit out of your kid’s room and enter the bathroom while locking the door. You sit on the toilet seat with the lid down as you try to think. A three rapid knocks rang out as you call out a, “Yes?”

“You alright?”

“Yes.”

“Open the door.”

You blink at him as your hand never left the door handle as you open it. He immediately tugged you to him, drowning you in a deep kiss and hug.

It turned sensual as a soft moan broke out from you, due to his talented mouth

“I made dinner.” You tell him breathlessly as he kisses your eyelid.

“I know.”

He says and you’re both walking backwards. A wall is pressed to your back. You’re sandwiched in by both Paul and the wall as he feasted on your neck.

“L-Later.” You shakily say through the violent tingles that made you want to forget your existence.

“They’re napping. I hear them snoring from here.”

You slip from his grasp because you at least wanted to turn the oven off.

Coming through the living room room from you leaving the kitchen, Paul scoops you as you let out a surprised laugh as he takes you both to the couch.

He planted kisses on you with the word please falling from his lips. You smile and tell him okay as you drop your own shorts.

He didn’t waste any time as he pulled your underwear, they rip off of you and it was a moment like this, you saw how strong you forgot he was.

He lifted up a bit and pulled his shorts down a bit, letting himself spring free and he relaxes. You lean forward since you were straddling him and keep him lip locked.

Without any buildup, Paul has you sinking onto him as he moved his hips and your body to bounce on him. Your moans were submissive but breathless with your eyes shut at the ceiling as you head was tilted back. Your hand is on his chest as you circled your hips.

Paul held your body close to him as he wanted to reach all of you, you were whispering oh gods as you heard knocks through Paul’s groans. He never stopped. You heard knocks again.

You push Paul’s shoulders to calm down his thrusts. They never stopped but they were slow as your voice was still breathless. Your hands were planted on his chest as he panted. You twitch as he watched your reaction.

“Were you expecting someone?” you ask, almost in a moan from the continued sensation.

You didn’t invite anyone over.

“Fuck no. Just let whoever, think we’re not home… Come here.” he suggested and lifts your shirt to look at the work he’s doing as he gently pulls his bottom lip into his mouth as he looks at the sight of you squirming against him.

A vibration on the coffee table sounded out as you then force yourself off of him and he groaned loudly in frustration.

You answer the phone and it was Paul’s father. You dress as you speak.

Paul pulls his shorts up and walks towards the door, he glanced at a reflection of himself. His erection was so poked out as if it was waiting for a hello. Paul shook his head to himself as you stifle a smile, he hides his front part of his body discreetly with the door as he lets his father in.

Paul’s father walks in and you give him something to drink as he sits on the recliner.

“Did you hear?” He says as he obviously knew something.

“What?” You ask.

“They found out who Embry’s father was…I knew it.” he drops who it was.

You look to the floor.

“Embry also got hurt pretty bad.” Paul released as he scratched the back of his neck.

“He is?” you whispered.

“Yeah.”

“W-well, what happened?”

“He was chasing a leech. They tore him up pretty bad. We lost the trail but hopefully they won’t try to circle back here.”

“Yeah…Hopefully.” you whispered.

“You look faint.” he observed.

“It’s just…It’s happening again. The nomads, more patrols…”

“I know..It’s why I’m glad right now, I have you. I have our baby. Everything will be okay.”

You nod as he kissed your forehead.

You slowly sit down on the couch. The television clicked on.

Turning your head, Paul is staring at you as his dad was preoccupied.

“It’s happening.” you whispered.

“Y/N, you have to trust me when I say-”

“It’s happening so soon. We can’t be here in La Push.” you say as your voice was dripping with anxiousness.

He huffed before wetting his lips before looking at you again, “Okay….”

He gets up and you eye him carefully. He was deeply thinking.

"I don't care if you hate me. You're not to leave the house unless I’m with you."

"Great. Prison." you sarcastically mutter.

"Y/N. Stop it." He says with deep authority.

You quiet up and continue to watch him.

“You’re my everything. I’m not punishing you.”

“Okay…Sorry.” You whispered as you move towards the kitchen to fix both Paul and his dad a dinner plate.

Your baby had their toy in their mouth and the stuffed animal in their lap as you read them a book that was interactive. They cooed as you pointed at the different animals and named them carefully.

“Puppy.”

They liked saying it as everything you pointed, was puppy.

You chuckled as you correct them.

You were uploading your sketches onto your social media profile when you ended up seeing a post that was posted thirty minutes ago.

A dinner gathering at Kim’s house. She popped up as a suggestion since you didn’t follow her anymore but she tagged Angela and Emily in her pictures. Sam was there and so was their kid.

Peaceful energy only💫

You toss your phone down on the couch with a roll of your eyes, it bounced off of the sofa and Paul picks it up. Inspecting it for cracks that didn’t appear.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s childish.” you agree as you let it go with a shrug.

Sue Clearwater held a dinner.

Seth met somebody. He imprinted. First, before throwing a bonfire, Sue wanted to get his imprint comfortable with his family.

Leah invited you over. She claimed it was to get you out of the house. Paul was on patrol and you came over with your baby.

You left a note. You were with a pack member anyways.

Leah watched you. Your smile was soft but hallow at the girl as you introduce yourself. She was sweet and the same age as Seth and it was evident that she had a huge crush on him.

As you all ate and Leah was innocently embarrassing Seth like how a big sister should, you kept glancing at the door as if Paul was going to burst in any minute. You wish he was there.

Sue wiped the table as you were in the bathroom. Leah nudged her mother as she held your baby.

“He’s got her trained.”

“We don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors, Leah. That’s between them.” Her mother says.

You came out and you look out the window to see that the sun had dipped. Seth and his imprint was on the porch on a porch swing smiling and talking.

Leah was empty handed and you saw Sue now holding the baby cooing to them.

“Hey. Want a minute to breathe?” Leah asks.

“Sure.” you shrug.

You both walked on a trail behind her house in the woods. The birds chirped lightly.

Leah sparked a joint and offered a hit after blowing out hers. You turned it down. It’s been so long.

“I’m okay.”

“You don’t look okay….You don’t act okay…You’ve gone quiet and Paul’s gotten loud.”

Your face dropped, “You don’t understand but that’s okay.”

“Then make me understand, Y/N. The hell is going on with you?”

“People want to input their opinions on us and we’re happy. I’m happy and I can feel him too. They say he’s controlling but it’s not like that. He’s just Paul.”

“..Is he hurting you?”

“No! God, Leah. You don’t listen to me.”

“Y/N, he needs to figure out how to control himself. He’s literally bullying you to think like this. You left the job that Charlie hooked you up with, you stopped taking on real projects…You’re losing yourself. You’re fucking Becky Homecky now.”

You shook your head, “You don’t know what it’s like!” Tears well up. Leah only looked at you, as if she was trying to figure out a math equation.

“To be this bonded to someone, like this, I feel his pain and anger, all of his emotions before he could even say a word. I just need him to be okay because if he’s not okay, I’m not.” You whispered the last words.

They both turn around and walk towards the house. The only sounds that were audible, were your soft sniffles and the sounds of your footsteps. Her footsteps were silent.

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

If you consume a certain type of online content about friendship (often in the form of “10 signs of a fake friend” and similar), you may almost get to the conclusion that anyone who is not your best friend is your enemy - or at the very least, that any friend who doesn’t know *everything* about you is entirely worthless to your life and you would be better off cutting them out.

That’s a pretty radical view of human relationships, and it would ultimately cost you a lot of joyful social interactions if you strictly adhered to it. 

Unless you barricade yourself in your room and never leave it (which would be pretty awful for your mental health), you will end up in situations where you have regular interactions with people who are not your best friend ever. The ability to be friendly to those people, to enjoy those connections, isn’t “fake” or “toxic”. It’s an important source of positive social interactions and a valuable tool to fight loneliness.

If you have a constant social circle, these may be the friends (or partners, family members etc) of your friends, those “I’m not directly friends with Rose but I’m friends with Lisa and Lisa is friends with Rose” situations. But even if you do not have a circle like that (because you don’t make friends easily, you have social anxiety etc.), there will most likely be some “casually friendly” people in your life, as these are often simply the people who happen to be at the same place at the same time as you: colleagues, classmates, neighbors, people at places you frequent (employees in stores, patients in group therapy etc.), or even just the guy who waits for the same bus as you do every Monday morning. 

These people wouldn’t be the first one you’d call if you need help with a potentially life changing decision. They don’t know all your deepest secrets, fears and desires, they may not even be able to name your favorite color (or hey, maybe not even your name), and they certainly won’t be able to list all your identity labels, political beliefs, medical diagnoses, traumatic experiences and sexual fantasies - but they don’t need to. 

It’s wonderful if you have a best friend (or another close relationship) who fulfills that role of being someone you’d trust blindly, someone who knows you inside and out. But not everyone you are friendly with needs to be that for you. There’s enough other roles. Acquaintances, work friends, casual friends, small-talk friends… those roles aren’t worthless. They won’t be the one you call at 3 am after a breakup, but they can inject a bit of joy in your everyday life. They can offer friendly interactions that come with no pressure to go beyond the surface (something that’s valuable in itself! It would be very exhausting if everyone already knew everything about you and every conversation had to be deep and philosophical). 

Plus, only knowing each other in one context has its advantages: your best friend may not know anything about the printer issue in your office but your office friend sure does! And if you met someone in a crime novel forum and all you ever talk about is crime novels, is that really negative? Isn’t it beautiful to know someone who shares your passion for that genre and is always happy to talk about it? 

Of course an office friend or a crime novel friend can also become a best friend over the years. There are plenty of people who meet in a specific context, bond in that context and gradually develop a relationship out of that context as well. But one-context friends still enrich your life. 

Even if that context is purely “we say hi when we see each other at the bus stop”, it’s a positive social interaction - and those will bring color and joy into both of your lives. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[n0odlz]

Eltingville Club Head canons!!

Jerry STROKES

1- As much as we (at least I do 💔) wanna believe that he could do no wrong, he definitely has 2 accounts on any social media site. 1 for keeping up his "image" to random people on the internet, and the other for just straight up BULLYING. doxxing, being rude, and spreading fake news and hate

2- CAN'T STOP PICKING. His acne, scabs, his nasty ass sweater he doesn't wash. Poor guy just doesn't know what to do with his hands

3- NO BACKBONE. he definitely is easily persuaded. Either that or he just agrees with everyone else so he doesn't get made fun of more than he already does

4- He's a furry (I think Mr. Dorkin confirmed this like halfway on a random tweet IDK take it with a grain of salt) He just hates on them in public when in reality, he's saving up money to buy fursuit supplies. His fursona would probably be a rat, mouse, cat, fox, or dragon

5- Neurodivergent. Need I say more?

6- Has unnaturally long eye lashes and doesn't get why he gets so many compliments on them. (The only reason any girl would willingly come up to him)

7- Listens to Lemon Demon and forces everyone to listen with him (Josh and Bill secretly like it too (✿❛◡❛))

8- Is totally a poser to impress other people

Jer: "Oh yeah, I LOVE Nirvana. I listen to ALL their songs"

Mya: "Name your favorite"

Jer: "... Smells like.. Teen... Agers? "

Mya: "Don't piss me off."

Pete Ditalini

1- I'm pretty sure the other 3 people in the fandom can agree this guys a GORE WHORE

2- He's in love with Tyler's "Goblin" and "Bastard" Albums. Argue with the wall. (The only other song from any other album he enjoys is Tamale)

3- Loves his women either chubby or toned. Not quite an in between 😽

4- Enjoys women wrestling *COUGH COUGH* RHEA RIPLEY!! THAT WOMAN IS SEXY 💔🤰🏾

5- Accidentally combs his hair back even though he's bald (it's muscle memory for him- epilogue Pete)

6- Smells like cigarettes and blood (Epilogue Pete)

7- Totally enjoys being bossed around by the nearest woman within a 1 million mile radius

8- Tried summoning a succubus once but got caught by his dad

9- Also obviously listens to Deftones (DUH). Thinks he's Chino Moreno 💔. Fav songs are "Korea", " My Own Summer", "Bored", " Knife Prty", and "This Place is Death"

10- 3 DAYS GRACE TOO 😌. Likes "Overrated", " Just Like You" and "Let You Down" (srry I'm NEWGEN ☹️🖕🏾)

11- Has a natural guyliner look to his eyes and everyone thinks he draws it on ☹️

Josh Heavy

1- Cheeto puffs are his go-to snack

2- Has not changed his limited edition Batman underwear since the day he got them

3- Secretly tried giving himself a wolf cut because he thought it'd make him more "Alpha" but he fucked it up, which is why he's always wearing that hairline-receding, Jojo siwa ponytail

4- Eats croutons straight from the bag

5- Stole a shirt from the mall ONE TIME and felt guilty so he turned himself in to the police

6- He tried to make his own cardboard cutout of Superboy but the printer at the library malfunctioned because of all the colored ink he was using so he got banned from there

7- Draws himself with hot babes using art tips he learned from Jerry

8- Also has long ass eyelashes and bats them on purpose

#STOP THE JOSH ERASURE 😭

And last but most certainly least,

William Alan Dickhead

1- Never changes those shitty bed sheets 🖕🏾

2- He makes videos of himself in situations that would never happen (Roleplaying him getting a girlfriend and then he does that little kissing thing with his hands on his own back THAT ONE THING WE ALL DID AS KIDS? someone has to get it 💔)

3- Scratches his balls and gets dirt under his nails from doing so

4- Writes fanfics about him being the best and everyone bows down to him.. Although the art is BUNS

5- Unironically calls himself the alpha 🥀

}Alanpha87: "I'm literally an alpha and all of you are beta male CUCKS who'd wish you could be me. Well news flash, it's not happening. HAH! "

6- Thinks he's Bill Cypher

7- Thinks he's the #1 looksmaxxer and is TOTALLY the best at mewing

8- Secretly listens to Paramore

NOTE: some of these definitely have elements from later times / recent media and I'm here to tell you that nobody cares

NOTE 2: I might just keep updating this instead of making a 2nd post so watch for updates😛😛

#agent00 (✿❛◡❛)

[phanta-soba]

Character / F/o pin tutorial

Someone asked me how I made the pins when I originally posted that I was making pins earlier, so I decided to made an in depth tutorial.

First things first, supplies!

You will need:

Paper (and a printer, unless you want to draw it out yourself)

Scissors

Glue (I use a gluestick because it's what I have on hand, but if you use something like school glue you might have to be careful not to saturate the paper with it)

Pins (the ones in the picture are some I've already painted, which will be explained in the prep step)

Paint (color doesn't actually matter much, but know that theres a chance it will alter the tint of the pins)

Some kind of sealant (I use acrylic sealer because that's what I have on hand, but things like mod podge and clear nail polish work too) bonus points if it's glossy ✨️

Step one: Prep!

Print out/draw the designs you want on the pins. Here, I have my sweet dork of a f/o, Deidara.

This is also the stage where you'll paint your pins, because if they have designs on them already (like mine did) it can show through during the sealant step. That's what happened to me on my first attempt (I ended up having to redo them all, which worked out because now I'm making this tutorial <3) I used black paint, which gave them a darker undertone after spraying the sealer on them.

Step two: Cutting and Gluing!

When cutting, it's a good idea to leave some excess and trim it off later (if the pin is too big for the design, you can fill in the white edges with a local color to bridge the gap)

Now for gluing, slather some glue on the back of the picture and line it up with the pin to the best of your ability.

Now you can trim the edges, but still keep a bit of excess so you can fold it over the edge of the pin. I do this by smoothing outward from the center of the picture, and then around the edge.

Now you're nearly done! Give your character / f/o a smooch for getting this far 😘

Step three: Sealing!

For this final step, you just need to take your sealant and apply it to the top of the pins. You can also use this time to make sure that the extra edge (that was folded down) is glued down securely. I skipped this part because these pins are going into my ita bag, but I recommend you do this if they’re going to be in a less protected spot.

I did not heed the instructions on my sealer and accidentally sprayed way too much at once. My poor boy 😭 (it's not too terrible at least, and should be better when it's dry)

And that's all, folks! Have fun with your new knowledge and stay creative!

Bonus:

My ita bag!!

(the big pins don't even fit lmao)

[illogicalkat]

This will not be a regular thing with me, but I'm showing off some more.

Yes, this means more fanbindings.

Is this the result of writers block and a need to create something while I struggle? Probably. I'm not looking too closely at it right now.

First up is And it all started something like this... by @snarkythewoecrow and @psychiccatpanda

It's a quarto, the cover is printed cardstock, and if you think you see a typo in the author's name no you didn't 😂 (she's forgiven me)(I think). Somewhere during the process I thought, "wouldn't it be fun to make this Battlestar Galactica style?" And it is fun! But next time, I'll need to plan it during the typesetting phase so the margins aren't that close. I think this might also be the first book I started using cream colored printer paper.

The fic itself is a Stuckony soulmates au, quite possibly my favorite Stuckony soulmates fic, and you can read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34564183

Okay this one is Reconcilable Differences by astolat. This is the first time I've used a foil pen, and I'm happy with the results! I need some more practice, but I will get there. This is also a quarto, but a chonky one - the fic itself is 38k words, and this worked out to 230 pages. The cover is cardstock on the front & back, bookcloth on the spine.

This might be the only Clark/Lex fic I've ever read. But I love it. It's on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/240930

And finally:

This is the biggest project I've attempted. It is @mysterycyclone's epic DC/Marvel crossover, Dark Matter. It's 700 pages, it took me two months to make, and do you like the title page? I hand colored that. The end papers and the cover are both images from Unsplash. This is one of the best fics I've ever read, and I'm very happy with how this binding turned out.

If you haven't read this fic yet, you are seriously missing out. https://archiveofourown.org/works/30153540/chapters/74285358

[boobook1tty]

Christmas with the Mercs HCs

happy holidays! headcanons of how each merc would celebrate Christmas, and some of the gifts they would get you Warnings: alcohol, setting stuff on fire, blowing stuff up, general holiday chaos, poorly written

Scout

Wakes up at 5 am, and runs downstairs only to find literally nobody awake so he sits and waits

Accidentally ends up waking everybody up in the process

But he does make everybody on the team a present!

Wraps them poorly in printer paper, or some of Engie’s thrown away blueprints 

He hands you the present he got you, with is in a cardboard box and wrapped with blue paper and tons of clear tape 

Prefers to make you something but will buy you something as well

Such as a duct tape wallet, a drawing, or some music cds he found at the thrift store he’d think you’d like!

Uses this as an opportunity to give Miss Pauling a gift, only for her to be working :(

Give him baseballs or something Tom jones related and he will be crying from happiness <3

Pyro

Is the one who got the Christmas tree

Probably came to work one day with their fire axe in one hand, and tree in the other 

Decorates the tree with lights and colorful ornaments that they made themself!

Adding onto Scouts arts and crafts, Pyro will definitely make their own as well! 

Might accidentally burn the tree down

Super excited to give everybody their presents!! 

You gifted them a pink sparkly lighter, and after opening it, they ran and hugged you so hard off the ground you couldn’t breathe 

keeps their suit on but throws the cutest ugly sweater over it!

Will match sweaters with you too!!

Makes the BEST hot chocolate hands down

Soldier 

“THIS TREE IS NOT AMERICAN ENOUGH!”

Everything he hangs is all American flag themed. Also wakes up wearing his American flag pajamas in the morning 

You can tell exactly what was wrapped by him, because the paper is the American flag.

Has tried to hang up ears as ornaments, but Spy took them down. 

If you are wearing green instead of red he will yell at you for disrespecting the American spirit (he doesn’t no or care that green is a Christmas color)

Gifts you literally the best clothes, weapons and gear, except it’s all american flag themed so just be okay with that

Demoman

“MERRY CHRISTMAS LADS!”

The best person here to celebrate with hands down. 

Greats everybody with a ‘Merry Christmas’ when he sees them in the halls or somewhere in the base

You decided to get him a nice sweater, and another bottle of scrumpy for his present

Obviously he can tell that its a bottle, since you wrapped it in wrapping paper 

Accidently blows furniture up after partying too hard

Also will put on holiday music, before Scout hijacks the vinyl and it’s forced to be turned off because his music taste is garbage. 

Sniper

He’s already awake way before Sis, and waits until half of the mercs are up before going to the base to celebrate Christmas

He can’t fit an entire tree in his camper, but he has a very very small baby pine tree that he found while hunting. He put it in a little dirt pot and has it next to his window.

Doesn’t really expect presents on Christmas, so he doesn’t go out of his way to get into the holiday spirit that much. 

Get him a present and he will be so stunned, it seems like he doesn’t like the gift (he really does!! He’s just shocked somebody actually put thought and effort into it)

Prefers things that are handmade and one of a kind

All though he isn’t partying, he will sit on the couch by the fire and just listen to everyone talk

Medic

Obviously there are mercs that medic likes better than the others

And I think this means the more he likes you, the even more insane of a gift he’ll get you

He hands you a plain white box, and you open the cardboard lid to see one of his doves.

Before it starts flying around the room and getting stuck in the tree

“I heard jou speak about wanting a pet, so you can have Archimedes' brother!”

Sleeps in really comfy pajamas, that are red and patterned in snowflakes

If you mention that you like them, he’ll definitely get you a matching pair and you can join him and heavy twinning :)

Heavy

Has a traditional way of celebrating

Sends letters and postcards to his family

On base though, he will help make things feel like a holiday, and make everyone feel like family (since he does see his teammates as family!)

Gifts everyone scarfs, gloves, and mittens for everybody to keep warm during winter and the nights

The scarfs he gets are soooo warm and comfy that medic wears his 24/7

If you’re into reading, he will get you either some Russian stories that were translated into English, or ones that he translated himself.

Overall literally the best person to spend any holiday with <3

Engineer

Makes the star for the top of the tree, and the lights for the tree all by scratch

Will also bake with pyro! The kitchen in the base will smell so good of cake, cookies, and banana bread

On Christmas Eve, pyro and him go and place a plate of cookies and milk on a table next to the tree for Santa

Seeing Pyros excitement when the plate was just crumbs made his entire day

Gifts you a custom little gadget he made himself

If you want to join him bake and cook he’ll be super happy

This is probably the one day that he’s not inside his workshop, and he’s spending time with everybody as much as he can

Spy

The most reserved out of all the mercs

Comes down to wish everybody happy holidays, before cloaking and disappearing off to whatever he usually does.

When things calm down, and people like Scout and Pyro aren’t bouncing off the walls, he’ll grab a glass of wine and join the rest of the mercs on the couch

Miss Pauling 

She’s working unfortunately :( 

Comes by later at night, and celebrates and drinks with everybody. 

Although she has no interest in Scout, she picked up a couple of Tom Jones CDs to make him happy. 

When I mean comes by, she’s there for like 10 minutes, drinks an entire bottle of wine, and then goes back to work.