#Been referring to him as the “Most Depressed Man of All Time” and I'm glad to see he agrees

[whoiskt]

See, language fails, and thought is confounded; for who is the happiest except the unhappiest, and who the unhappiest except the happiest? And what is life but madness, and faith but folly, and hope but reprieve, and love but salt in the wound?

-Søren Kierkegaard, the Unhappiest One

[mazzystar24]

Okay, everyone is excited, it's very nice and all... Although I find it weird that Buck of all people will have no time for Eddie especially at times like this when Chris is ghosting his father?😅

I'm glad I'm almost falling asleep or else I'd get really depressed (sorry, I'm not a fan of jealousy plots (though, I believe that just spiralling about it in my head is much worse that it's actually gonna be playing out on screen😅)), but yay I'm happy everyone's happy😂

Omg I’m killing myself I typed this all up three times and none of them saved

Back to the answer

Hey babe!

Okay so I get what you mean but i do think tims wording was just him trying not to give too much away

like if the storyline WAS buck not trying to prioritise his friends/family it would go against the very fundamentals of who he is as a character to such a polar extreme that its not something the writers would entertain even for the sake of drama because you never wanna subvert what makes a beloved character beloved

also the way tim was like ' well not out in the cold so much but buck has less time' (im paraphrasing i think) again is just not giving buck not msking time for eddie blissfully

i think its most likely either:

a- eddie is self isolating but this time by pretending he has a handle on things because he doesnt wanna interfere with bucks life or happiness after he already views himself as having failed with his son's happinness

b- buck is trying to balance everything and it causes problems with bt

crack option- that one trope where the asshole bf tells the bestie to leave them alone but no one tells the love interest of the bf/ bestie of the bestie

(not the smallest man who ever lived coming on as i typed that- its fate whenever talking about tommy i fear)

like i dont feel there is any scenario where buck is like i know youre legit on the verge of a breakdown and your relationship with your kid is in shambles and this family unit ive been so deeply ingrained in for the past - one sec gotta do maths- 6 years is currently in shambles but i have a boyfriend now so sorry but sayonara i got date night🥰

also back to serious for a sec like we gotta consider the context this was bought up in- it wasnt about whether eddie and buck's dynamic is changing or if bt is having an effect on them or like if there are any issues there etc the question was about tommy and buck's relationship which bringing this eddie topic up in makes me think its indicative of it being a n arc relating more so to them if that makes any sense.

also back to jokes- jealous eddie serves so much cunt tho i fear i enjoy it immensely like jealous buck serves kicked puppy so i hate it but jealous eddie is a petty bitch and i love it

my favourite analogy for this is eddie gives 'i pictured you with other girls in love and threw up on the street' meanwhile buck gives ' i was good just wasnt good enough'

yes that was a taylor swift reference followed with a maisie peters reference straight away - im just a girl🫶

love ya and sorry for the late reply

[longitudinalwaveme]

Flash #1 (or #801) Review

As I promised a few days ago, here's my thoughts on the newly-released Flash #1.

SPOILERS below the cut.

Let's get the smaller things I noticed out of the way first:

-It's nice to see Max Mercury and Impulse as a pair again. I'm particularly glad to see Max getting some focus, since it's been a long time since he's gotten to do much of anything.

-The art looks good for the most part. I think the panel layouts are interesting, most of the people look okay, and the horror stuff looks really creepy (so the art is accomplishing that goal).

-Gorilla Grodd is back! Hurrah! (Like all those Silver Age DC editors clearly believed, everything is better with gorillas.)

-Having lots of text is nice. I read really fast, so I appreciate comic books with a lot of text. Otherwise, I can burn through an entire comic in seven minutes. (One reason I like Silver and Bronze Age comics so much is because they tend to have a lot of text, so I'm glad to be seeing something similar here.)

-Baby Wade is adorable.

-"As always, it is not until the house is perfectly silent...that the pipe begins to play." Is this a reference to Hartley? Please let it be a reference to Hartley. I miss him.

-Why does Irey look like a teenager? She's only like ten, right? So far, she's the one character whose design really stood out to me as not looking right.

-I am disappointed by the lack of Evan in this comic.

-Good to see that we're maintaining the friendship between Irey and Maxine that Jeremey Adams established during his Flash run.

-I have no idea who this Chad guy is, but he sure did suffer a gruesome fate.

-On the last page: Hey, is that a reference to that time that Wally West became the Porcupine Man during William Messner-Loebs' run? It's definitely got the spikes, and that was also the result of the speed force going out of control.

And now for the major plot points:

-The sudden undercurrents of stress in the West household kind of seem to have sprung up out of nowhere. I'm not opposed to the family going through a rough patch, but I feel as though it would have been better to build up to it a bit. As it stands, the conflict kind of seems to have sprung out of thin air.

-Why is the Speed Force suddenly a massive problem? Where did that come from? Why has it only now started to become an issue? Again, this seems like it should have received a bit more build-up, because right now I feel like I've been dropped into a story that's already in progress, rather than being at the beginning of a new story.

-Is Linda supposed to be suffering from post-partum depression? That could potentially be interesting, but only if it's handled properly.

-Wally's shared his super speed with Linda before (notably, during Mark Waid's run), and she didn't seem particularly upset about not having it afterwards. Granted, that was for a few hours rather than several months, but it does seem perhaps a bit out-of-character for her to be so upset about not having super speed. In fact, Linda's characterization was the biggest sticking point for me in this issue. She just seemed off (something that was also a problem in the story Spurrier wrote for issue #800).

-I can't say I'm super thrilled about having yet another story that focuses on the speed force. I feel like most of the stories that can be told about the speed force have been exhausted at this point. It probably doesn't help that the speed force has never been my favorite aspect of the Flash mythos. Some writers handle it well (Mark Waid and Jeremey Adams come to mind), but I'm much more interested about the Flash, his family, his supporting cast, and his villains than I am in the vaguely-defined source of his powers. Oh, well. At least Evan and the Folded Man are supposed to get involved. That should mitigate the problem somewhat.

-Wally's periodic issues with depression have returned with a vengeance. Spurrier seems to have a better grasp on Wally than he does on Linda.

Overall, I'm curious about where this story is going to go, and I am very eager to see how Spurrier uses characters like Evan and the Folded Man, but I'm not confident about how the run as a whole is going to turn out. While there's certainly room for horror in the Flash, I generally prefer a brighter and more cheerful tone for the book than what Spurrier seems to be going for, and I'm worried about how he's going to handle Linda.

Tentative Rating: 6.5/10.

[pancake-breakfast]

It might be a bit of a stretch for me to finish Volume 7 before the clock hits midnight on Sunday, but hey, I'll give it a shot.

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 7, Chapters 3-4 below.

Chapter 3: King of Loneliness

CW: Body Horror

You know, as much as I want to say this title absolutely, most definitely applies to Vash, it might apply to Wolfwood. Or to Knives. At least Vash and Wolfwood have friends along the way. At least they have each other.

Dude. Conrad opposed the experiments? Maybe I was being too harsh with him in my last notes.

It can be hard to know when to have difficult conversations like this with kids. I'm sure that was only further complicated by them being hyper-intelligent, extra-powerful plant babies. But kids are often better at understanding these things than we think they are.

Well, at least Knives admits he's putting up a face here. And he's still young enough that Rem can peel it off. I'm glad he got to cry to her, even for a bit. Even if he rejects her comfort on the very next page and puts the mask right back on.

Now he's starting to look more like the Knives we know.

Ohhh, now he's straight up looking like the Knives in Vash's memories.

They do look pretty happy here, though. I mean, they even fall asleep all next to each other.

Ugh, Baby Knives is not doing well.

He looks too much like Adult Knives here. It's uncanny.

Face stained with blood and tears and twisted in fear, and then blackness. Great composition.

And there he is, celebrating his victory, the ships raining down around like falling stars.

Vash calls him out, but Knives isn't anywhere near ready to admit the truth of his statement. Ironically, he's to scared to admit he's scared.

"This is not fear. This is anger." Ohhhhh, man. I could go on about that from my own experience. Let's just say that a lot of times, those who have spent a lot of time afraid learn to mask it as anger, since anger allows a level of action that fear often does not.

Oooh, she's got some mandible action going on here. Also, not sure, but I don't think she's quite happy about this situation....

Stuff going fwakoom?

Betcha Bagworm Legato is super-jealous of Elandira's ability to run to Knives' side right now.

Alright, that looks both very cool and very uncomfortable. Like, physically, it looks like it would at least be awkward, if not painful.

Oh, yeah. Plant girl isn't happy about this at all. That is not a happy face. But since when has Knives cared about someone else's happiness compared to his own purposes? It's... it's been a long, long time.

He has a double angel arm now? Cool, cool. I'm sure that won't be a problem or anything....

Yeah, definitely thinking the chapter title is referring to Knives at this point.

Chapter 4: Bastards and the Blues

This cover picture of Knives is somehow simultaneously slutty and immensely disturbing.

Ha! It's the rubber band scene! Vash needs this.

Look at that. It's an old-timey mob, here for an old-timey hangin'.

Awww, I know we've just met him, but I feel like Hancock really doesn't deserve all this.

As if there was any doubt what Vash would do in this situation.

Ok, so... I could be wrong here, but this all feels off. Vash is doing Vash things, but he seems waaaaaay too openly depressed while doing them. It's like he's doing them because Wolfwood is standing there expecting him to do them. He's going through the motions (which, to be fair, is a legitimate tactic to get through depression for some), but his heart isn't in it.

Yyyyyeah, hearing people scream about his inhumanity is probably not gonna help things.

At... at least he made two friends out of it? At least this time everyone backed down immediately? But Vash doesn't want people to live in fear of him like that.

Wolfwood playing lookout at the door.

If these guys turn out to be serial rapist baby snatchers or something, I'm going to burn down this whole manga. Vash needs a break. It doesn't need to be a big one.

Gods, his fake smiles are baaaaad here. He's not even trying to hide. He's just smiling 'cause he doesn't know what else to do.

Not sure how I feel about Vash getting drunk again, even if there's a spirit of camaraderie in this instance. I feel like Wolfwood, the actual heavy drinker here, feels the same. It's notable he's staying dry for this one.

Granny here seems chill. Like she's seen enough things in her life to no longer have time for anything but kindness, even if the best she can do is the small kindness of booze.

OMG GENUINE WOLFWOOD PEACEFUL SMILE I SHALL TREASURE IT FOREVER

Actually, these seem like good people for Vash to talk to right now. Sure, neither of them leveled a city (probably), but One-Eye at least has a deep understanding of what it is to be haunted by deep regrets.

WHYYYYY is the alcohol called Blades?!?!

But... Vash doesn't want to be alone. And neither does this guy, for that matter, or he wouldn't have Handcock around. And Vash... he may be running and sad and hiding... but he's not alone this time, either.

Ugh, drunk and depressed Vash is in no shape to fight.

Wolfwood might be indulging a bit now, but he knows he's the designated driver here, and he's being careful enough to make sure he can keep an eye on Vash.

I like how the tails on Vash's jacket get longer when Nightow wants them to look particularly dramatic. These are beautiful, but if they were actually that long, he'd be tripping over them as they dragged through the sand.

Also, flashy light is probably Bad.

Guess they're screwed.

The loss of communication would be really bad. It's always bad in times of conflict. Quick and reliable (or even semi-reliable) communication can win wars... and here I'm guessing Knives decided to take the upper hand for his first declaration of open conflict.

Yyyyyeeeeeaaaahhhh, Knives, honey, that doesn't look healthy....

What's that, Elandira? Were you secretly kinda hoping you'd somehow make it all the way through Knives' pending genocide?

Man, Vash sure can sober up fast.

There we go. Babygirl does genuinely look better here. Like, he's still sad, but he's not lying. He's genuinely grateful for this.

Good, I'm glad they got a bit of a break.

Archive

Trigun Vol. 1: Covers + 1-3, 4, 5-6, 7-8, 9-10 || Vol. 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8

TriMax Vol. 1: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 2: Covers + 1, 2-4, 5, 6-7 || Vol. 3: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-7 || Vol. 4: Covers + 1-2, 3-5, 6-7 || Vol. 5: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 6: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 7: Covers + 1-2

Extra Credit: Trigun Vol. 1: Nebraska vs. Vash's Motivations, Vash's Loneliness, Vash's Depression (pt 2 of post), Soupy Brains || Vol. 2: Coin Factoids || TriMax Vol. 1: Lina, Vash, and a Haircut || Meryl, Vash, and the Pursuit of Happiness || Vol. 5: Knives, Vash, and Hatred for Humanity || Vol. 6: Coping Series: Wolfwood, Meryl, Vash

[dangerously-human]

cactus, edelweiss, and jasmine!

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

This is possibly my favorite question on the list, and I've got dozens of answers for it, so I'm actually quite glad more than one person asked it! I've been doing a lot of reflecting on servant leadership and the peace and beauty in obedience lately, partly because the stories I've been spending the most time thinking about recently (Lockwood & Co and The Bear) both have complex leadership themes, and partly because of some family stuff that has me thinking about how few examples there are in modern American culture of healthy hierarchy - yet that's an important part of God's design for the world. Church and family life are some of the best examples we have, but we see so much pushback against those things too, and we are not thriving in the absence of good and godly leadership and submission in our lives. So I guess the thing I'm learning is just how important that all is.

edelweiss ⇢ how’d you think of your url/username? what’s it associated with to you?

Ah, it's been a little while since I've talked about this, hasn't it? It's a reference to The Elephant Man, a play I read for a semiotics class in college (not my favorite content or professor, but most of my friend group met that way, so, ya know, perks). The play actually isn't particularly a favorite, though it is quite good, it was just the concept that rang true for me in terms of url: Merrick, the so-called Elephant Man, died from trying so hard to appear "more human," something that probably sounds particularly familiar for my fellow disabled peeps, such that being human was dangerous for him. I think, in addition to the disability factor, there was an element of that angle to the name that felt personal to me in terms of, like, to be human is to be vulnerable - particularly emotionally; it probably helps for context to know that I was still deep in the depression years when I chose this url - and that scares me but it's worth it anyway, you know? And in that vein, I liked the idea that my humanity was not only dangerous to me, but as a weapon I wield. I am dangerously human, two sides of the coin, simultaneously my weakness and my strength.

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?

I really loved The Mortal Instruments series, but I cannot imagine going back and reading the original six books now. The Infernal Devices, on the other hand, I might revisit. I stopped reading partway through The Dark Artifices, I think partly I simply outgrew the books, but it also just kept spiraling and fell victim to a common plight of expanded worldbuilding, that previously impactful events and conclusions no longer meant anything or carried any weight when the stakes were raised, you know?

[girldigital]

Depression knocks

Today, I started experiencing something I haven't felt since arriving in London : Sadness?

I think it was sadness. It probably started yesterday actually. I was ready to blame it all on the considerable lack of sleep that's been plaguing my day-to-day life, but I'm not so sure it's just that, despite it having gotten worse due to holiday shenanigans.

I find myself thinking about love a lot lately. I've always felt cursed. Silly of me to think it'd get lifted the moment I move across the world I guess.

Now that my chapter with Big is seemingly closed, I should be excited to dive into the future, yet I can't. Getting my closure felt like such a gargantuan accomplishment and I'm glad it happened - it was like finishing sutures on a stubborn wound I'd been putting ointment on for the past two years. It would have been too easy if it remained there though so of course, he had to send me that message a month later, undoing half the stitches I had carefully planned for for weeks.

By “believe” you'd think I was referring to the big L word, but I know I don't. What Big represented is success - it's everything I should be with. The only person whose validation hits harder than drugs. I've kissed the most beautiful people around the globe since our fling ended, yet they've done nothing but make me feel harrowingly empty.

This hallowness has made me think about Contrapoints' video Shame a lot. Here are some quotes that haunt me still, almost 5 years later:

"And I can find things I like about male bodies. Like, they're very warm. I love it when you get under the covers with a man and he warms you up. But that's when the lesbian voice comes into my head and says, “But are you attracted to men? Or do you just like being warm?”"

"There's a kind of sick masochism in wanting someone who doesn't want you back. It's insatiable, like an addiction. And on the flipside, there's an intense erotic thrill in being desired. I think that's what got me interested in men in the first place. It's that they were interested in me. And that's pretty interesting. I've felt desired by men in a way I've never truly felt desired by women.  You know, a man will glower at you with that agitated, carnivorous desperation.  […] God that's hot. Gets me every time.  But notice how excitement at the attention and the flattery of being desired is not the same thing as attraction to men. There's a difference between “I want you” and “I like that you want me.”"

Literally just sighed at that last part for I have so many notes on my phone saying exactly that (first one is a Siri note I dictated while driving, pardon the chaos!):

I want love but I don’t know how to do it detached from the system I’m bound to.

I can’t be attracted to men unless they fit the image I need them to have for the fantasy to be believable. I also need them to be interesting and to make me feel like I'm gaining something - a reward for starving myself and making myself beautiful you know - otherwise, what's the point? The problem is, most men, especially the most beautiful ones, tend to be annoyingly boring.

When it comes to women, they are certainly more gorgeous, but my sexuality doesn’t exist outside of the patriarchy. My desire is never mine unless it is to be desired by someone else and male validation just so happens to have the highest price point (or so they say).

"[...] the normative sexual role for women is to be pursued, possessed, desired, seduced, dominated by men—it's all very passive. And in most of the sexual encounters I've had with men, I've taken a very submissive role.  Sometimes I just submit to the glower and let him do things to me. And I do think that the thrill of being desired is a valid thing to want. I like that feeling myself, and I do genuinely enjoy taking on a more submissive role sometimes. But you have to go about it thoughtfully, because if you don't, sexual submission can be a way to avoid confronting what your desires actually are. "

I want to be loved but I don't know how to do so. Men, women, and everything in between - Nothing moves me. I keep being told I might be asexual but besides my overall scepticism with that sexuality, I know I'm not! I do want sex! I want to passionately make love until birds sing at sunrise! I want the thrill that comes with being with someone your heart desires as much as it needs air! I want to lose myself in lust and relish in the pleasures of the flesh without feeling like a puppet!

There's just nobody I want to do this with. Even the one I say I want isn't exempt from my intricate web of conditions; he just so happens to be the only one who perfectly fit (and exceeded) the conditions needed for the narrative. I can't help but think though, would that still be enough to make me happy in 5 years? 10? 1?

Frankly, it would probably make me go insane.

All I've done over the past two years is try to find a replacement, like an actor falling ill and needing a doppelganger to fill the same role. The problem with that is that knockoffs don't hit like the real thing, and I unfortunately started off with the best.

I want to start fresh but I don't know where to start. How are you supposed to go back into the matrix when all you see are 1s and 0s? When you know the steak isn't real, but ignorance doesn't feel like bliss anymore?

I’ve just come to a standstill because Big is like a virus in my system - a glitch that I can’t seem to get rid of. I’m trying so hard to function without removing it, but it’s only further corrupting all the data around. I’m not ready to remove it because that most likely means wiping the entire system, and I don’t want to start remaking the bed I'm already lying in.

[spicyvampire]

hi absolutely adore your stuff i just wanted to sincerely apologise if i ever called you guy/man in tags and if you were uncomfortable with it, bc funny story. i might have hallucinated that you had a he/him in your bio when i checked your blog months ago (i swear i saw it, i swear) and then i made a whole story of you being a trans guy who was so into Manner of Death that he decided to take the name Tan in my head. but i've looked into it again today and turns out i was Wrong so. yeah. glad that you are okay with all pronouns at least no mistakes were made by me with that. sorry again for possible past misgendering and this probably insane ask, please have the nicest week possible and i hope you keep making the funniest coolest most beautifully colored edits ever <3

Op this has to be the funniest ask I've ever received in my entire life, I laughed so loudly I think my neighbors heard me, people have been going "sir sorry ma'am" and viceversa for the past 5 years with me irl all the time and I NEVER thought that could happen without someone seeing my face

Imma try to adress every part of this

You have not misgendered me by calling me guy/man, I'm as okay with it as I am okay with any pronouns, even if I'm more used to girl pronouns/nouns/adjectives being mainly female presenting most days, I even refer to myself as a "silly guy" cuz I find it accurate, does any of that make me a trans guy I honestly don't know, my gender is an ungoing battle but I'm at peace with where it's at rn

My blog title used to be "holistic himbo" in reference to Dirk Gently Holistic Detective Agency & Himbo just cuz that was the cool new buzzword at the time and I liked it a lot (still do use it time to time to refer myself) and that might be where you got that my pronouns were he/him, when I changed the blog moods/url it became Super Slumber in reference to Nandor's depression sleep in WWDITS

Listen the "MoD/Tan" part is literally so hilarious that the actual origin of me using that name seems lame in comparison, the true is that back in high school I had a group of friends and at some point we were chosing nicknames for each other and it's like literally impossible to get a cute & short nickname out of the name "Tanya" so they basically removed the "ya" part and so I've been Tan for the past 12 years, i'm actually more comfortable with that than my own actual name and it's a complete coincidence that it's a gender neutral/kinda masculine name, the fact that my fav bl of all time MoD with my fav bl couple MaxTul had a guy character that I heavily identified with named the same like 10 years later was also pure coincidence if you can believe that

This ask made my day tbh so thank you and I hope you have a nice week too

[sunvisetrip]

We may not have chapter 45-47 adapted on the 1st season...

But under Madhouse's mercy and hopeful rumours, season 2 is finally confirmed and I'm glad!🤩😝😆

Now as for the 12th episode, it was just as wild as I expect.

First part really made me convince that Ronaldo is at the same level as the ginger-haired ladies man who wears a red jacket. (I'm referring to you Robby Yarge, but you are still likable in my book because a journey through Isekandar and your husband Hatchi have changed your life.😇)

Thankfully, Ronaldo never abandons his duty as a hunter and his friends help him out to defeat spider lady. The way he killed her reminds me of the climax from a provocative and heart-pulsating, adult-oriented DoraRona doujinshi on Pixiv. (Search it if you are brave enough to venture through the world I explored.)

Both second and third part were a blast!🤣

Lots of references, twists and turns happened at the late-halloween party and I cannot spoil the entire experience, so go and see it for yourselves!

Last segment gave us DoraRona shipping material and it ends off with a dance rendition as our homosexual nightowls and their child John had fun without a care. All is well and ends well. (Not until my sister's look-alike Mr. Fukuma shows up at the end.)

We may not have the aniki saga us fans have hoped, but it made us laugh until the end.

For years I've been through, many vampire-themed animes disappoint me. (The exceptions are Hellsing and Visual Prison, of course.) Most of them are watered down to depressing, edgy, or at worse-case, is being used as an excuse for inappropriate non-con scenes and approve abusive behavior against the weak.

But Kyuushi hits well as it should.

I guess vampires aren't so overrated and lame after all; and Dralc, Ronaldo, John, and the rest of the cast offered us a tour of a world where the creatures of the night and humans can get together, be friends, fall in love, and have fun! (Also while turning into sand in the process.)

So Madhouse and director of Hunter x Hunter 2011 Hiroshi Kōjima, thank you for making the best anime adaptation of a gag manga made by Bonnoki-sensei.☺

As a DoraRona shipper and a fan, I now declare "The Vampire Dies in No Time" as my all-time favorite anime. I will forever cherish them like the grand master should have done in the first place.

Once again, thank you Kyuushi for making us laugh and cry. We'll meet again at next season! (And goodness sake, I hope the Aniki Saga will be adapted for real next time!)

[plasticnightmaredoll]

I thought I'd make some comments about the first episode of "The Falcon and the Winter Soldier," kind of in the same way I made a post about my thoughts on the "WandaVision" season finale. I don't plan on doing a post with my thoughts, opinions, and theories for EVERY episode of TFatWS because a) I don't have that kind of time or patience, b) Things are probably going to change left and right as the series progresses, just like in "WandaVision" so I don't see a need to document all of this, c) I ramble enough as it is lol

Of course, there are spoilers under the cut, so if you haven't seen the first episode, then I suggest you...don't look under the cut! If you have seen the episode and just want to see what another MCU/Marvel fan thinks, or if you don't care about spoilers, then have at it.

I will say that the first episode of "The Falcon and the Winter Soldier" (I'm going to refer to it as TFatWS from now on because that title is long af) was good and brought forth lots of mystery and intrigue, but it didn't grab my attention quite as much as the first episode of "WandaVision." But this may be due to the fact that WV was just so bizarre right from the start, and there were tons of questions right out the door. So, the mystery (and confusion) was more intense than for TFatWS.

I still plan on finishing TFatWS, but I hope it picks up a little more in the next episodes.

Another thing I will mention that's really not much of a spoiler: Poor Bucky! Just like Wanda, he needs a damn break already 😭

And lastly, I haven't read any Marvel comics because I just don't have the time, energy, patience, sanity right now to devote to them. That, and I have always preferred manga (Berserk is still my favorite manga/graphic novel of all time. Hell, it's my favorite fictional story of all time! And the 90s anime is one of my favorite series ever). My Marvel knowledge is heavily based on what the MCU has provided, but I do know things that happen in the comics because I do read up on various comparisons between the comics and the MCU entries and people's theories based on the comics. So, I'm not completely clueless.

Ok, spoiler time!

I don't really have a list of things I liked and disliked for this first episode of TFatWS because it's just way too early for that kind of stuff, and who knows where the series is going to go from here. I'll just make a list of thoughts and opinions:

James "Bucky" Barnes/The Winter Soldier

POOR BUCKY! I mean, goddamn, this man can't get a break. We see just how much his time as a Hydra agent affected him, causing him to have nightmares about those he killed while brainwashed. He's closed himself off from others because he's depressed, burdened with immense guilt, and probably feels like he's not worth helping at this point.

I also like how we got to see just how negatively he was affected by being at war for so long. He'd be put into hibernation by Hydra, and awoke every time to go kill some people. Rinse and repeat. That was his life, which isn't much of a life if you ask me. The same happened when he was freed from their control and while it's understandable why he had to fight in "Infinity War" and "Endgame," it was clearly a lot for him to handle. He didn't get a lot of peace, and even now that things have settled, he still has no peace.

At first, I was wondering why Bucky was going out of his way to befriend his elderly neighbor, Mr. Nakashima since he wasn't associating with anyone else, not even Sam. Then we find out that Bucky was the one who murdered the old man's son why under Hydra control. He can't bring himself to tell Mr. Nakashima because it's too painful and he's too ashamed. He's trying to prepare for it, I suppose, by befriending the man, but at the same time, I don't think it's going to be less unpleasant to deliver the news.

I literally felt heartbroken for Bucky when I realized that he had killed Mr. Nakashima's son. Like, omfg, Bucky, this poor guy...he has to live with these painful memories of things he was forced to do and it's depressing to witness.

I know it seems weird that no one recognizes who Bucky is, but I have a theory on that: Those that do are people who actually know him or those who have seen his face at the Smithsonian. Those who don't recognize him may never have been to the museum or simply didn't remember his face. I mean, Captain America was the main focus of the exhibit, and he was in the public eye all the time, so Bucky could easily be forgotten. Also, after the Blip, people clearly have had a lot to deal with after being missing for several years while the rest of the world put itself back together. Bucky is the least of their concerns.

Sam Wilson/Falcon

Sam, our good boy Sam. I was expecting him to keep Captain America's shield, even if he didn't use it right away. I mean, I know in "Endgame" he said it feels like it belongs to someone else, but I thought he'd change his mind and keep it. But he ends up donating it to the Captain America exhibit, which was unfortunate. I mean, I understand why, and I thought, "Well, he can just go grab it later" but then...well, that's going to be discussed later.

I was glad Sam kept trying to reach out to Bucky despite how things seemed very tense between them before. I can understand why he didn't just visit in person because that would have overwhelmed Bucky. I am suffering from severe depression and I know how difficult it can be to have a surprise guest attempt to make chit chat. Not fun.

We find out how Sam's sister has been trying to make ends meet during the Blip. Things aren't going well financially for her, and she is considering selling their father's boat to bring in some much-needed funds. Sam tries to help by convincing her to go to a bank and take out a loan. He hopes that his status could help influence the bank's decision as well.

But that isn't in the cards. The bank can't approve the loan because now there are regulations post-Blip regarding such matters. Not even Sam's status as Falcon -- an AVENGER -- amounts to much. Then the accountant awkwardly behaved like a fanboy during the whole meeting, even going so far as to ask for a selfie from Sam during the most inconvenient moment. This scene shows, to me, that being an Avenger doesn't change everything, yet, they're still famous and loved (for the most part). It's a strange feeling: "We love you guys for all you've done, but yeah, we can't really help you out."

I'm glad Marvel is choosing to show the negative effects of the Blip. It's great everyone returned but...everyone literally popped back into existence. We saw some of this chaos in "WandaVision," and we're seeing more in TFatWS. It's a realistic approach because, like, yeah, people being gone for several years, presumed forever missing then suddenly reappearing out of thin air is pretty extreme. Not to mention, those who returned didn't always find their loved ones and friends waiting for them (i.e. Monica's mother died during the Blip)

Flag Smasher

Not much to say here other than we have a new villain to watch out for who clearly has superhuman abilities. The cause that his group stands for threatens to make things even worse post-Blip than they already are, and geez, give people a break already! But you always have fanatics that will terrorize others for a cause.

Captain America 2.0

Who is this random white boy and why is he the new Captain America? I know who he is from the comics but that doesn't make it any better. It just makes it worse! This guy's going to be a disaster, clearly.

Sam realized at that moment he fucked up by giving the shield away, but this can only mean he'll find a way to retrieve and -- hopefully -- take up the Captain America mantle. Captain Falcon? Captain America Falcon? Captain Falcon America? I suppose you can have fun with that.

[adhd-adept]

hi! i like your posts! they're real helpful

anyway a thing i need help with

i want to ask my dad for therapy because i think i might have adhd? and also some other shit

so basically

(this is going to be a long post)

back in summer 2020, i thought i might have adhd because i was reading some comics from adhd alien and the signs of adhd she shared seemed eerily familiar?

and i did some research and more signs came up and i thought i might have them?

and i found a therapist who specialises in adhd and other issues

but when i talked to my dad about it he was all "ADHD is only hyperactive idiots who are useless without meds" and he yelled at me for a while and I'm now basically scared of mentioning the topic up ever again

he brought me to some sessions, but i think once he said it was "so the therapist tells you you don't have adhd"?

anyway after the summer ended i couldn't get therapy again because school and busy

with the 2 week spring vacation coming up i was thinking of maybe asking him again? but I'm really scared and he probably won't take it seriously again...

signed,

an idiot

Hey! Thanks. I’m glad I can be helpful. I wanted to answer this right away, but it took me a little time because this question deserves a thoughtful response. This is going to be a long post.

[If anyone with more experience in situations like this has advice, I would welcome suggestions]

First things first! I don't think you're an idiot. This world can be hard to navigate even in the best of times, and I will never think you're foolish for needing a little help with anything that that entails!

Looking for a therapist is a great start! I’m glad that you are taking yourself seriously and taking steps to get help. That can take a lot of courage, and I’m proud of you for it!

Know that it may continue to take courage, and persistence - it can be really difficult to get an official ADHD diagnosis. I definitely have ADHD, and it actually took two tries when I got diagnosed around age 12, as the first doctor thought I had been perfectly attentive during the meeting and thus could not believe I was struggling with inattention elsewhere. My friend in her early twenties has been attending periodic doctor and therapist sessions for a couple months now, because the first doctor didn’t take her seriously, the second said she clearly had ADHD but sent her elsewhere for prescriptions, and the doctor they sent her to insisted she get a second opinion. She is finally starting to get accommodations, but it’s been an ongoing effort.

And you may simply not get along very well with your first therapist. You can always try reaching out to another. It can be a long process, and I hope saying that does not discourage you because there is a lot of good that comes at the end of that process; specifically, a better understanding of yourself and access to some resources that can help you seek accommodations for the things you struggle with.

It sounds like you’ve done your research on therapy, though. If you want any help with looking for a therapist, I am happy to help, (or at least try to). But it sounds like what you’re asking is how to approach the subject with your dad?

You’ll have to take some of my advice from here with a grain of salt; I’ve never been in the specific situation you’re in now, and of course I don’t know your dad as well as you do. But in my experience, rephrasing a request can do a lot to make it sound more reasonable.

I think the first step is understanding where he is coming from. Again, you have met the man and I haven’t, so this is more suggestion and guesswork than any kind of statement.

It sounds like your dad has a significant bias against neurodivergence. But I think it does matter WHY he feels that way. I can only imagine that it comes from a lifetime of hearing those things about ADHD from the people around him, and it will take time for him to reverse that prejudice. I feel sorry for him to have grown up in that hostile environment, and I am sorry that that hostility is being carried through to you.

But the result is that he thinks there’s something wrong with having ADHD. Of course, that isn’t true, but no parent wants to believe there’s something “wrong” with their child, and he will probably be resistant to the idea for as long as he believes that there is. 

More than that, I think parents don’t want to believe that, if there IS something wrong with their kid, it might have come from them. A child twisting their ankle in PE class or getting bitten by an ant is one thing - it hurts to see the child in pain, but it isn’t their fault. It’s much harder for a parent to see their child suffer because of a hereditary condition, because I think there can be a lot of guilt associated with that.

On top of that, if he’s been told that ADHD is a terrible thing, it might be disagreeable to him because if you have it then maybe he has it too. People don’t want to believe there’s anything wrong with themselves either.

I don’t know if that’s, on some level, why he reacted the way he did - and even if it’s true, I don’t think any of this justifies yelling at you for it. Nothing justifies that. And I want to be clear that it shouldn’t have to be your responsibility to figure out why he feels the way he feels - that should be on him, and it’s unfair to you to have to work through his issues on your way to getting the help you need. This isn’t necessarily the best or only approach. But trying to at least figure out why he feels the way he does might help you figure out how to approach the subject again. 

Maybe even ask him where he got his impression of ADHD, if it does not feel like doing so will start a new argument. (Maybe don’t mention the part where you’re asking because some stranger on the internet is trying to psychoanalyze him.) But I find, personally, that conversations go better when I can approach them with patience, and I have more patience when I make an effort to remember that the other person’s reactions have to come from somewhere, and if I can at least start out believing that they are misinformed rather than actively hostile.

I think a good start would be to try educating him about ADHD and see how that goes. Anything might sound scary because it is unfamiliar; or, worse, it might sound scary because it sounds vaguely familiar even if the only information you know is that you think someone said it’s scary. 

An aside, to give an example: There was a meme a while ago where water would be referred to as “dihydrogen monoxide” and framed as a dangerous thing with vague-but-technically-true statements such as “it’s a common byproduct of chemical reactions,” and “it’s found in our sewer systems”, or “it has the highest pH value of any acid” (you may recall that the strongest acids are those with a low pH value).

I think it’s easy to do the same with neurodiversity. If all you know about water is that it’s a chemical, it may sound scary. If all you know about ADHD is that it’s a mental disorder, it may sound scary.

Talking with him directly may be better than sending him articles - they tend to start with phrases like “mental health disorder” and “chronic condition”, or big (scary) jargon words that you might want to avoid if you want it to sound approachable (I mean, even the “Simple English” version of the Wikipedia article has the word “neurodevelopmental” in the first sentence).

I think it’s important for him to know that everyone’s ADHD experience is different - symptoms can be strong, or they can be very weak, but even people with very weak symptoms may benefit from seeking professional advice. You can be very “high functioning,” and still find certain tasks more difficult than most people do, and thus benefit from help even if you don’t “need” it to achieve your goals or lead a “normal” looking life.

You might tell him that a lot of ADHD treatment is about paying attention to your own behaviors and learning what works best for you - that even if you do not have ADHD, you may have some experiences in common with people who do, and that seeking a therapist who specializes in ADHD may help you find someone with the kind of attitude you are looking for; maybe you want someone who will be especially patient, and who will be prepared to take you seriously with the symptoms or traits you do have.

After all, most people can understand that you don’t have to have clinical depression to benefit from some of the behavioral things often recommended to people who do, such as getting regular exercise and more sunshine. You can do things that improve your mood even if you don’t have diagnosed clinical depression. 

Similarly, if you are seeking help with some things that people with ADHD struggle with - organization, time management, staying focused - a therapist who specializes in ADHD may be a good fit for you for that reason alone, even if you don’t have it.

And yeah, it sounds like he doesn’t want you to have ADHD, so I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying “even if I don’t have it, talking to a specialist can help me rule that out,” if that’s what helps him feel more comfortable with you getting an appointment. Again, it will take time for him to overcome the negative impression he has now, but at the very least, if he forms a positive impression of ADHD therapists he might not be so hostile about ADHD itself.

Maybe remind him that there can be a lot of overlap between ADHD and other experiences, but that it seems like a good place to start seeking help because it is a relatively common cause of some of the things you’ve experienced.

Know how much you would be willing to compromise before you have this conversation - would you be okay with getting a therapist even if they do not specialize in ADHD? Would you be unlikely to get an appointment if he made it conditional on something like maintaining good grades? Have a clear, tangible goal in mind; while you may leave room for uncertainty in your diagnosis until you speak with a professional, you should try not to leave room for uncertainty in what you are asking for. Know what you want - a session (or a number of sessions) with a therapist - and have your reasoning for that ready, maybe even written down. People tend to take you more seriously when you can demonstrate that you’ve thought something through.

If you say you think you have ADHD, I believe you. But regardless of that, you have recognized that there is something you need help with, and you are taking action in response. I hope that, at the very least, if your dad does not want to take the suggestion of ADHD seriously, he can at least take you seriously when you say that you need help. 

And you will get help. You are moving in the right direction. Don’t lose sight of that.

I hope I’ve answered your question! If this is hard to read I can maybe come back and re-write it as a set of bullet points, maybe suggestions of things to say, but I felt that in the case of more personalized advice it was important to address the context of my advice. If you needed more specific advice, feel free to clarify. And of course, if you have any other questions, I’m always around.

Best of luck!

[deadsaigon]

Kindred spirits || Carl Grimes

Summary: In a parallel universe where Carl is still alive, he experiences the events during the 9x15.

Warnings: Death, and yeah, a lot of cuteness and sadness. All at the same time.

Note: The flashbacks are in italics. Gif is not mine.

A/n: I've been working on this for a while, I hope you like it. Honoring my baby Carl, he deserved to live longer in the series. Requests are open. Sorry if it's too long, but I think is worthy to read. Hope you like it.

"I stand before you today at the start of a new tomorrow. A tomorrow made possible by the sacrifice of many over the years. Among them a man whose mission was to build community and strengthen the bonds between us. A man who had to destroy the very thing that connected us in order to save us. It took us far too long to fulfill the promise of what Rick Grimes and his son Carl, who is here with us, envisioned" King Ezekiel stoped his speech, due to the ovation that the people started when they heard the name of 'Carl', Carl was a living legend. He and Amunet were between the crowd. One of his arms was around her waist and her head was over his shoulder. When the people around them began to applaud him, Carl blushed a little and he thanked them with his hand. "The same promise, Paul Rovia, better known the most as Jesus believed in when he brought us all together those many years ago. We've always been bound to each other. We always will be. We fought our way back to each other. We've grown. The crossing over the river may be gone, but we rebuilt a bridge nonetheless. Today is the proof that we can unite, not against a common enemy but for the common good. So eat, drink, trade and be merry, cause we got a lot of lost time to make up for" Ezekiel ended his speech.

Jerry stood in front of all the people. "That the first Annual Inter-community Reunification Fair begins" He said.

"Jerry, we changed that" Ezekiel told him with a little smile. All the people laughed. "Carl, could you make me the honor to say some words and inaugurate this?" The King asked him. "Amunet, you can pass, too". Carl blushed again, but Amunet encouraged him. They hold hands and passed to the front.

"Mmm, hello" He said, he was so nervous but Amunet pressed harder his hand, trying to calm him down. "I would like to thank you all, for not abandoning my dad's dream, the dream he worked so hard for so many years, the dream he gave his life for: the dream of being a big and unite family." Carl reached the cage of the white doves. "That the Fair or the New Beginning begins" He finished by setting free the doves. The people started to applaud again, and yeah, Carl blushed, once more.

Once the people got disperse, Carl and Amunet started walking around the Fair. "You're so cute when you blush" Amunet said.

"Stop it" He answered.

"It's the true, you are adorable" She laughed. Carl take her from her waist, pulled her close to him and kissed her.

"I love you, Amunet"

"I love you too, Carl" Amunet and Carl met each other since the beginning of the chaos. They were friends in the Atlanta camp, in the Hershel's farm, in the prison, and they started dating when they arrived to Alexandria. They had been a couple for 8 years approximately. They had always support each other.

.

"Alexandria is granted to give asylum to Lydia" Carl spoke. The leaders of each community, Tara for The Hilltop, Carol and Ezekiel for The Kingdom, Rachel for OceanSide, and Carl and Michonne for Alexandria, were discussing about the fact of Lydia forming part of the communities now. Henry, Lydia, Judith and Amunet were also there.

"If her mother retaliates it's gonna be against Hilltop, not Alexandria" Tara said, she didn't seem to be happy with Lydia being around.

"Tara, remember when you stood in the prison with the Governor? You were our enemy. But Glenn saved you, and brought you with him. At the start, people didn't trust you, obviously, but we gave you the doubt benefit, and look how it come, now, you become part of the family" Carl told her and Tara seemed to understand what he was trying to say. "That's why we propose a mutual protection pact. If her mother wants to attack Hilltop, it won't be easy, cause she is going to have to fight the four communities. They mess with one, they mess with us all" Carl continued talking. Everyone in the place agreed.

"How do we seal it? A blood pact? Do we cross the pinkies?" Tara said making everyone laugh.

"I just got an idea" King Ezekiel said and searched for something. Finally, he found the agreement that Rick had made so many years ago.

"How do you have it?" Michonne asked.

"Maybe I took some things when I left Alexandria" Tara answered.

The first who signed it were King Ezekiel and Queen Carol, then Tara, it continued Rachel, and then, it was the turn of Alexandria. Michonne took the pen in her hand, but extended it to Carl. "It should be the Rick Grimes son" She said. Carl took the pen and signed the paper with 'Carl Grimes'. It was it, the mutual protection pact was signed.

Amunet and Judith stood next to Carl. "Carl you did it amazing!" The little girl said and give him a hug.

"Thank you Judith" Carl took the body of his little sister in his arms and carried her.

"Thank you, Carl. Thank you so much" Lydia said.

"It's okay Lydia, I couldn't let you alone. You are one of us now. Also, Henry needs you" Lydia and Henry laughed. When Henry went for Lydia, after Alpha took her from The Hilltop, Carl, Daryl and Connie searched for him. Daryl and Connie didn't understand Henry, but Carl did.

.

"So, that's how you make CPR to a person" Enid finished her explication. "Who wants to pass and do it with the doll?" Judith raised her hand. "Okay, Judith, let's see how you do it" The doctor said her. Judith stood near to the doll, and started to do the steps that Enid had explained before. "You did it very well, congratulations! Take a lollipop. That's all, thank you"

The people dispersed, and Carl walked to Enid. "Hey, my favourite cowboy is here" They hugged each other. "How are you doing? Did Amunet came?"

"Cool, I'm pretty cool. Yeah, Amunet is here too. How are you Enid? Or I should say 'doctor Enid'?"

"I always call you 'cowboy', you have the right to call me 'doctor'" Both laughed.

"I'm happy to see you, Enid"

"I'm happy too, Carl. It's been a long since the last time we see each other"

"But we saw us in The Hilltop, when Rosita and Eugene got in trouble"

"I know, but I refer, to see each other like this, like family, not like two strangers. I'm sorry for never had get back to Alexandria, but Maggie needed me here"

"And I'm sorry for never have go to Hilltop to visit you, but you know what happened with Michonne, I needed to stay in Alexandria taking care of Judith and Rick Jr."

"Maybe we can be the same best friends that we were"

"I'd love that"

"It's gonna be a little different, I'm not the same depressive Enid that used to hate everything and used to sneak out the walls"

"That Enid was pretty cool, tho"

"It was cool for the emo Carl you were in that time. The antique Enid doesn't fit with the famous leader Carl you are now. But the doctor Enid, she fits perfect"

"I'm not famous" "Of course you are. You know that the adults tell about 'the Grimes' to their children?"

"I've heard about that, but I didn't think it was true"

"It's true, Carl, everybody knows your story, and I'm so proud of you"

"Heeeeyyyy, you're talking without me? I feel betrayed" Amunet got into the conversation.

"We were about to look for you" Carl said.

"I'm gonna pretend that I believe you. Enid! I've missed you so much" Both women hugged each other.

"I've missed you too. What have you being doing in Alexandria?"

"I'm in charge of the hydraulic system that provides water to the community. Also, I'm in charge of the maintenance of the solar panels, and the power generators. If they don't work, I fix them" Amunet said proudly.

"Woah, did Eugene teach you that?" "Who more could it be? The dude is a freaking genie. I'm glad to say that Siddiq did a good job training you, doctor"

"Can you believe it? Six year ago we were only teenagers trying to survive in the end of the world, and now, look at us" Enid said.

"This shit is crazy"

"Language, Carl!"

"Judith, what are you doing here?"

"I want a caramel apple, can we get one?"

"Okay, come on. Ladies, I'll see you later" Carl kissed Amunet before going with his sister.

.

"You don't have to go. They can patrol the surroundings by themselves" Amunet said to Carl.

"It's okay. I'm gonna be fine. Daryl is going too"

"Yeah girl, I'll take care of him, even if he doesn't need it anymore" Daryl said.

"You should reconsider it" Michonne said.

"Mom, you are worrying to much"

"Mom is right, Carl, it's too dangerous. What if something bad happens to you?" Judith said sadly.

Carl kneeled to be at the same height that his sister and put his hands in her cheeks. "Judy, do you trust me?" The girl nodded. "I'm going out there because I want to help. I can't stay here pretending that everything is fine with those crazy people with skin masks around. I want to guarantee the safety of you three" He said to Amunet, Michonne and Judith. "I have to do it"

Judith jumped into Carl's arms. "Just be careful Carl, please" The girl said.

"Be prudent. And do what Daryl says, Okay?" Michonne told.

"The last time I listen to Daryl I was fifteen, but sure, I will" Michonne, Carl and Judith involved themselves into a warm hugged.

Amunet was the only left to say goodbye. "Promise me you'll get back"

"I do. I always get back to you"

"I can't loose you, don't make me get through that"

"You are not going to loose me. I'll be back" The couple shared a kiss full of love and hope.

"I love you so much" Amunet said.

"I love you more. I'll see you later. Don't forget that you have my heart and that you are the fucking love of my life"

"Carl! Language"

"Sorry, Judith"

"It's time to go" Daryl said.

"Daryl, please, protect him"

"I will. But you have to understand that he's not a kid anymore Michonne" The man said before the group conformed by Magna, Yumiko, Carol, Kal, Marco, Dianne, he and Carl left.

.

"What the hell is that?" Carl asked.

The group had meet with DJ, Alek and Ozzy. They had found a destroyed carriage and dead horses. "We don't know. The bodies that were in here are missing. They must had been going to the Fair" DJ said.

"Do you think they were them?" Carl asked again, making reference to the people with masks.

"I'd like to say no, but you are not dumb"

"We should separate. Daryl, Carol, Yumiko and I will follow the rast of the bodies, and try to find them. Magna, Dianne, Marco and Kal, get to The Hilltop, and make sure everything is okay. DJ, Ozzy, Alek, keep patrolling around here. Let's go" Carl ordered.

When Carl's group moved, Carol and Daryl kept watching at Carl. "What's wrong guys?" He asked them.

"You did it pretty well in there. Being a leader is your thing, kid" Carol said with a little smile.

"Your dad would be so proud" Daryl told.

"Please, stop. People have been saying stuff like that all day"

"You shouldn't be ashamed of that, Carl" Yumiko said.

"Can we just keep going?" Carl ended the conversation.

.

The day turned into night. Carl's group was still searching for the bodies of the people from the carriage. Suddenly, some walkers appeared in their way. "Take care, watch their hands, they could have knives" Carl said.

Walkers grew in number, and then, a body of 2 meters of height appeared in front of them. Carl, Yumiko, Carol and Dary prepared their weapons. "Drop them. I won't ask twice" Beta ordered. The four obeyed him, and the tall guy directed his voice at Carl. "You just had to give me the girl. Now that deal is over. You are coming with us"

Beta took them to the Whisperer camp, and tied them to a tree. Then, Alpha appeared. "You, one-eyed, come" She said and unleashed Carl. Ponting at him with a gun, she took him to a pit, where a big horde of walkers was in. "I hope I'm wrong saying that you can't take care of my daughter" Alpha said.

"You are. We will be the family that Lydia never had. She is better with us" Carl answered her.

"You and your people are alive because I let you live. But I'm done with you all. If you cross into my land, once more, I'll guide the horde to the communities. I've mark the border to the North, you see it as you leave. Now, reunite with the rest of your group and get away from my sight".

.

After Alpha let go Carl, Daryl, Carol and Yumiko, they found Siddiq roofed to a tree, he had some injuries and the eyes bended.

"Siddiq! What are you doing here?" Carl asked him.

Siddiq wasn't able to answer him, so Carl helped him to get up and to keep walking.

During the way back home, they saw it, they saw the final warning that Alpha was talking about: some heads in pikes, marking the border of the Whisperers' lands.

Ten heads. Ten reanimated heads. Ten reanimated heads of people they loved and cared about. Ten people that were gone. Ten people that had died in a horrible way.

Once Yumiko, Daryl, Carol, Siddiq and Carl were close enough to the heads, they could finally saw who they were. And that only disturbed them more.

First head.

Ozzy.

Ozzy was the leader of the Highway men. He was working with his men to get to chance to watch a movie, and he didn't was capable to do that.

Ozzy was working only a few hours, and now, his head was the first of ten.

Second head.

Alek.

Alek was the right hand of Ozzy, and a member of the Highway men.

He was working with Ozzy for a benefit for him and their people only a few hours ago, and now, his head was the second of ten.

Third head.

DJ.

DJ was a reformed Savior that rebuilt his life six years ago when he redeemed himself and took the invitation of living in Alexandria. Since then, he had shown his effort by making sure that the surroundings of the community were safe. And Carl appreciated that.

Carl felt sorry seeing his head, cause he had live and worked with him for a long time. DJ was the proof that a person can actually change for good.

DJ was talking with Carl about his concern about the possibility of the Whisperers were killing people only a few hours ago, and now, his head was the third of ten.

Fourth head.

Frankie.

"Hey, Nabila, have you seen Frankie?" Eugene asked to the woman. He and Frankie's daughter were looking for her, there had been a long time since the last time they had saw her.

But Nabila hadn't seen her, cause Frankie wasn't in the fair anymore.

Frankie used to be one of Negan's wives. After the Saviors' defeat, she was accepted in Alexandria, where she adopted a girl and became in a great mom.

Carl felt sorry too. Judith sometimes used to play with Frankie's daughter and some others kids, and Frankie had always watch them. Frankie had take care of Judith on several occasions and he was thankful for that.

She was hugging her daughter and enjoying the fair only a few hours ago, and now, her head was the fourth of ten.

Fifth head.

Tammy Rose.

"Have you seen Tammy?" Earl asked Connie and Kelly, with his son in his arms.

Kelly repeated the question with sign language, so Connie could understand.

The answer was no. The sisters hadn't seen her, Tammy wasn't near.

Tammy was an old lady that lived in Hilltop with his husband Earl. They had lost his son Ken six years ago. But life had give them happiness again with the arrived of a baby that Connie had rescue from The Whisperers.

Tammy was talking with Earl about how they should name their son only a few hours ago, and now, her head was the fifth of ten.

Sixth head.

Rodney

Rodney was a teenager that lived in Hilltop. He was trying to have a normal teenager life.

He was hanging around with his friends only a few hours ago, and now, his head was the sixth of ten.

Seventh head.

Addy.

Addy was other teenager from Hilltop. She had worries about the walkers, but also, she had some teenager worries, like, trying to make the guy you like to like you.

She was talking with Henry only a few hours ago, and now, her head was the seventh of ten.

Eighth head.

Enid.

"It feels so sweet" Alden and Luke were singing on the stage. They had a large audience, but still, Alden noticed that someone was missing. Someone special. Had she forgotten? of course not. she was eager to see her boyfriend sing and be able to make fun of it. If Enid wasn't there, it was because she wasn't in this world either.

Enid was a resident of Alexandria when Carl met her. She was mysterious and mature, things that made Carl to got interested in her, an also, to liked her. Both had a realistic perspective of the world, and they became best friends cause of that.

Now, Enid was a doctor. She had something worth to work for. She was an important member of her community. She was living the happy life that she always had deserved.

When Carl saw her, something cracked inside of him, his heart for sure. He couldn't deal with the fact of seeing his best friend's head on a pike. So, a tear fell down his cheek.

"No" He mumbled. "Not you".

Carl was being Siddiq's support, but at that moment, the roles got changed. Carl's legs shaked like he was about to fall. " It's okay, Carl, it's okay. Stay with me, please" Siddiq said.

"Hey, my favourite cowboy is here"

"I always call you 'cowboy', you have the right to call me 'doctor'"

"I know, but I refer, to see each other like this, like family, not like two strangers. I'm sorry for never had get back to Alexandria, but Maggie needed me here"

"Maybe we can be the same best friends that we were"

"It's true, Carl, everybody knows your story, and I'm so proud of you"

Memories of her didn't leave his mind. Memories of Enid being happy. Memories of his best friend for all life.

He remembered the first time she saw her, on that abandoned house at the entrance of Alexandria. He remembered the times that he followed in the woods and lost her from his sight. He remembered when they used to sneak out the walls and go into the woods to read comics. He remembered all the times that she gave him advices about his relationship. He remembered when they skated in their way to Hilltop. He remembered a lot of things that they could never do again.

He had lost his best friend and he couldn't get her back.

Enid was teaching people how to do CPR only a few hours ago. Enid was eating caramel apples with his boyfriend only a few hours ago. Enid was getting back the lost time with her best friend only a few hours ago, and now, her head was the eighth of ten.

Ninth head.

Tara.

"If you happen to see her, could you tell her I need to speak with her?" Gabriel asked Eugene.

"I haven't seen her in a while, but she must be around" Eugene said. Sadly, he was wrong. Tara wasn't around, not anymore.

When the prison got under attack, Tara was in the Governor's army, she was with the guy who killed Hershel, she was the enemy. But things changed. Glenn needed her help, and, Tara needed to help Glenn, she needed to help him so the guilt she was feeling could disappear. It was when she was ready to die in that tunnel full of walkers, so Glenn could live and continue searching for his wife, that Tara stop being the enemy, and became family.

She was Hilltop's leader since Jesus' death, she was capable to lead, and she was ready to. She was supposed to be a great leader.

Carol, Daryl and Carl looked at her head with melancholy. They had survived with her during a lot time, and now, that girl with an incredible sense of humor that used to brigthen their days didn't exist anymore. She had been reduced to a sad walker.

"If her mother retaliates it's gonna be against Hilltop, not Alexandria"

That thought arrived at Carl's mind. Tara was protecting her people, but she must have protected herself.

Tara was thinking about what was the the best for her people only a few hours ago. Tara was signing the mutual protection pact only a few hours ago. Tara was being the leader that the Hilltop needed only a few hours ago, and now, her head was the ninth of ten.

Tenth head.

"Where could she be? She's not the kind of people that disappear without telling someone where she is going" Rosita told to Eugene.

"Maybe she wanted to be alone. She wasn't happy about Carl going out there. Maybe she wanted to distract herself"

"Eugene, she wouldn't do that. If she didn't tell anyone what she was going to do, it's because she is going out there and look for him. She care so much about him"

"In that case, I hope she is still in here. She can get hurt if she goes alone"

"Come on, we need to find her. Carl is going to kill us if something happens to her" Rosita commanded.

Even though Rosita and Eugene went to look for her as soon as they realized that she was missing, someone else had already found her.

And then, Carl saw the last pike. With his eye wide open, he unconsciously left Siddiq alone. He dropped the Colt Phyton that he had in his hand. He couldn't take his sight apart from the head. He approached to the pike a little more, he was wishing that his sight was playing tricks on him, because in case it wasn't, and the head was of the person he was thinking it was, he couldn't stand that.

He was about to get close enough when Daryl got between his sight and the pike. "No! No!" Daryl shouted, while he was holding Carl of his shoulders. "Don't look at it. Don't look"

Carl's legs shaked again, but this time, he fell on his knees. Daryl got on his knees too, to comfort him. "Kid, please, don't look at her, don't do that".

Carl's cry was making him look so vulnerable and so broken that even Yumiko felt the need of hug him. But nobody dare to do it, except of Daryl, who was already with him.

Daryl was speaking to him, but he wasn't listening. His heart was so broken and he was so submerge on his memories that everything around him didn't seem to be important.

Inside of Carl, it was like his mind wanted to live again all the moments that he had shared with her, like he needed to remember everything he had done with Amunet.

Cause, yeah, the head that was on that pike was hers.

"Hi, my name is Carl, what's yours?"

"I'm Amunet" The little girl answered. They were in the outsides of Atlanta, in a camp.

"Do you wanna play with me and Sophia? She wants to meet you"

"I would like to"

"Great! Follow me" Carl took her hand and guided her to where the other girl was. They played all morning and all afternoon, that when the sun hid, the three kids could barely stay awake.

The memorie of the first time they talked arrived. Carl felt like he was just being stabbed in the heart, so he let out a heartbreaking scream, toring apart his lungs.

"Carl! You woke up" Amunet had been waiting to him to wake up since Hershel operated him. She was happy that his friend was okay.

"Hello, Amunet. How's Sophia?"

"We hadn't find her" She said, sadly. But at least you are okay, I've missed you"

"We'll find her. I promise. I've missed you too. My dad gave my his hat, cool, no?"

"Yeah, now you are a cowboy"

"You can try it on, it must look great on you" Carl put the hat on Amunet's head. Both kids were laughing, but Carl started to cough.

"Carl, are you okay?" The girl asked worried.

"Yes, I shouldn't laugh too much, it hurts"

"You should get some sleep. Hershel said you're still weak"

"Could you stay here? I don't like to be alone"

"Sure"

The boy made a space in the bed, so Amunet could lay on it. "Sweet dreams, Amunet"

"Sweet dreams, Carl"

The sound of Carl's sobs were mixing with the sound of the moans that Amunet's head was doing. It was a brutal and depressive mix.

When a walker Sophia appeared out of the barn, Carl and Amunet started crying. They hugged each other and stayed like that for a while. After Rick put her down, and the adults began to move the bodies, they were the only ones that were near the barn.

"I thought we would find her" Carl said.

"I did it too. I'm gonna miss her" Amunet started to cry again.

"Hey, don't worry, we are you and me now, okay? You and me, together"

"Forever?"

"Forever"

Carl scratched the dirt under his hands, like the only way he had to express his anger. He could felt the Daryl's arms around him, but he didn't feel comforted.

"My mom's dead, Amunet. I killed her"

"You did what you needed to do. You couldn't just leave her, you know what would've happen"

"I'm a killer. The last moments I had with her I acted like an idiot"

"You were a great son, your mom loved you. And you are going to be a great big brother. Big brother Carl, remember that?"

"Can you give me a hug?"

"You don't have to ask for one"

"We should put them down" Daryl said, and his arms left Carl's body.

"Left Enid and Amunet, please, I'll do it" Carl said, standing up. Daryl moved his head in approval.

Carl got in the wagon that Garet told him. It was dark, but he could see that there were more people in there. A familiar silhouette appeared.

"Carl?" A voice that he knew perfectly asked.

"Amunet!" He said with joy. Both kids got together in a lovely hug, with tears in their cheeks.

"I thought you were dead" Amunet said crying. "When we were running out of the prison and you covered me from the walkers cause I didn't have ammo, I lost you, I looked for you but you weren't there"

"I had to get away from other way. Sorry"

"Don't you ever left me like that again"

"I won't"

Carl finally stood up, with his hands still shaking, he took the knife that Amunet had got for him in one of the running supplies that she did in Alexandria.

Carl opened his eye for the first time since he had get shot by Ron. The first thing he saw after had defeat the death again was Amunet, who was sat next to him. Amunet was submerged in her mind, she didn't notice that he was awake.

"Hi" He said.

Amunet made eye contact with him, and she smiled. She was showing him that beautiful smile and seeing him with those precious grey eyes that had him hypnotized.

She didn't said anything. She just stood up, got near to Carl and kissed him on his lips. "Thanks for wake up. I was losing my mind"

"I just lost mine with that kiss" He joked.

"I should've done that a long time ago"

Carl reached Enid's head.

"Why did you come to get me to The Hilltop?" Enid asked.

"I was worried about you. You didn't take any knife with you"

"I can take care of myself"

"I know, but..."

"But what?"

"You are my best friend. I needed to know you were going to be fine"

Enid hugged Carl and talked to his ear. "And you are my best friend, too. Thank you for made me company"

He raised the knife and buried it in the skull.

"I'm so sorry, Enid. Go to rest, it's time"

The head stopped moaning and Carl felt a little relieved. His best friend was resting now, in a place without suffer, that was what she deserved.

What Carl did next wasn't easy. He was in front of Amunet's head. It was the only left to put down. Everyone was waiting for Cark to do it.

Carl raised his hand, but this was shaking a lot that he dropped the knife.

"Carl, I could do it" Daryl said.

"I have to do this, please" Carl took again the knife. He looked at the walker's eyes. They were grey, but not the beautiful grey that Amunet's eyes used to be. And that was because that walker wasn't Amunet anymore, Amunet wasn't a sad head, Amunet was a shimmering start that guided Carl's life during so many years, and that wasn't going to change. A last memory appeared before Carl had put down the walker.

Amunet and Carl hugged after Carl almost got killed by Lucille. "I love you, Carl, I love you so much"

"I love you too, Amunet. I love you too" That was the first time they said 'I love you' to each other.

"I will always love you, Amunet" Carl said before he buried the knife, making the moans stopped. Amunet was now a free soul. Amunet loved Carl until the ended of her life. Amunet died thinking about Carl. And Amunet would always be with Carl.

Amunet and Carl were kindred spirits.

[teddy-feathers]

Prompt from @moss-flowers-trees not exactly fulfilled.

Up to No Good

-

Now it was well known that across the multiverse there was no Papyrus lazier than Stretch. After all, most took him as nothing more than a 'swapped' personality of Classic Sans and his brother.

That was their - a collective term here referring in a general way to the entirety of the multiverse and all of the alternates - first mistake.

Because a swapped Papyrus was still a Papyrus and all Papyri enjoyed a good jape.

Their second mistake was, as always, underestimating his brother.

Blue was a Sans in the way Stretch was a Papyrus, and from day one had resented being underestimated. Credit where its do, no one could do shenanigans like a Sans, especially his brother. It was as admirable as it was terrifying.

The last was more of a fortuitous boon, luck if one really wanted to be so crass, then a mistake on anyone's part and that was no one spoiled the fun.

So to set the stage, to really understand just how priceless the current situation of a nightmare carnival mirror image of him frothing in rage, you have to go back to the beginning.

Not the very beginning - though any good story should perhaps start there - for the sake of time, argument, and a joke that will only grow stale for having to wait for it, let it be assumed for the moment that Stretch is the center of the universe the second he and his brother stumble into a room full of strikingly unfamiliar faces in some sort of mirror maze of 'what ifs' and 'could have beens'.

Papyrus - one of many now, always? Apparently. - zones out, empty sockets not giving away his unfocused attention as Not his Brother Sans reluctantly and with much prodding from a much more handsome and friendly reflection Papyrus explains something about Universal Causality. What homeowners insurance had to do with this bowl of Flowey Flakes they found themselves in he missed, but at some point someone had pointed out that they couldn't all share the same name without even the most friendly of them wanting to dust the others like some bad Highlander reboot.

His brother, Blue now - cleverly claiming the Sans favorite color as his own - nudges him from a lovely little daydream back into the existential nightmare that was the current universe, and Papyrus folds his fingers together and lifts them above his head tilting this way with that until his back pops. This is met with disgusted looks from many faces around the room - most of them his own - and he slumps back comfortably into his hoodie. "Guess I'll go by Stretch."

Several voices protest of course, because life from now on was going to be lived by committee.

"Well That is certainly... unique Orange Me." Says Putting a Positive Spin on This With All His Might Papyrus - or Creampuff as he'd agreeably allowed Edgelord Papyrus to dub him.

"It is Ridiculous is what it Is." Protests the version of his brother that had wandered into a Hot Topic and had never left. "It doesn't Fit with the Already Established naming convention!"

It was times like this that he - The Papyrus who was going by Stretch for Spite now - was glad he had never bothered with the magic expenditure that was eyelights. Meant no one could see him roll his eyes.

There was no Convention - no real pattern for the group as a whole or even just through the pairs. Classic Sans - named such for his outdated old man jokes no doubt - seems to notice all the same and huffs out a laugh. "gotta say buddy, kinda agree - name like that seems like a stretch."

Blue looks as cross as Stretch feels but it would take someone who knew him well to see it. He grabs onto Strectch's arm in a show of solidarity and asks "Brother, why did you choose such a Unique name?" The way he says unique stands in tonal counterpoint to how Creampuff had said it, and Stretch smiles down at his older brother discarding the first three responses that come to mind.

No need to make his brother worry, or get labeled as the Depressing Papyrus right out the door - even if none of this did matter. "Cause bro, I'm the tallest one here."

Of course his brother immediately catches on, lights going to stars in a way that brightens his expression both figuratively and literally. "Nyeh heh heh of Course! How very Astute of you Stretch!"

Immediately several voices raise in protest, and boy did his own voice sound worse when amplified and played back a half dozen times, but it was worth it when his Blues cuts across the din to add with sly earnestness "I Knew my brother was the Coolest!"

This of course started a whole new argument that derailed the last and the rest should have been history.

But of course some part of him just couldn't let it go.

A universal constant for Papyri apparently was a vicious strain of competitiveness. And while Stretch could have let the jape die, it was nice to have something - no matter how fake - to lord over the other Oh So Talented versions of himself.

Literally in some cases.

Creampuff, if not a Perfect host, was unfailing in his attempts to fulfill that responsibility while the whole living arrangement situation was dealt with, that when Stretch's insomnia got the better of him he'd inevitably pop into the kitchen just to grab something off the top shelf for his better mirror's ungodly hours Breakfast Prep.

This was particularly satisfying as Creampuff apparently put everything up on the very top shelves and with the whole lot of them living there, something inevitably ended up pushed to the very back that he just Had to have. It was child's play - minus the murderer possessed doll - to time things that Stretch's arm could slip over his and pull done the item before he had a chance to grab it. Add that to some casual comment about the perks of being tall and...

It was inevitable that Edgy Mc My Chemical Romance would catch wind of the ongoing shenanigans. And unlike Creampuff who tried hard and was generally likable despite his Arrogance - another trait shared by those who shared his face . Edgelord didn't have a redeeming bone in his body. Made him insufferable... and a particularity sweet target for tomfoolery.

So when at some dinner or another that they all agreed to go to on occasion after they'd gotten their own places, and Edge once more started in about how obviously he was the Superior Specimen of the Skeleton Species, well Stretch wasn't going to take that lying down.

Or, well, he was laying on the Fell - the call sign they'd agreed to for their universe - Bro's couch. But he had lifted his hand and said in a deliberately matter of fact dry tone, "Not the tallest though."

It was like he had murdered their damn cat (who was a friendly surface beasty... if you didn't mind being considered a scratching post). Edge sputtered in rage and had dragged him upright by force, while Stretch uncooperative hug heavily like a rag doll in his unphased grip.

If Creampuff was the Handsome Papyus than Edge was the Strong Papyrus, it would have been easy to hate him just for that if he didn't so obligingly make himself as unlikable as he had. Of course with a little expended magic to give his brother the Babybones Look that worked every time, and Blue's quick intervention with a level and a bit of slight of hand - the fight was diverted and the Japery continued.

Perhaps the most agreeable of the versions that had clowned their way out of the Multiverse Machine that day was the one that went by Mutt. Agreeable in the sense he kept his head down, mouth shut, and kept away from all of them. That could be because his brother was annoying enough for the both of them, but Stretch thought an argument could be made that Mutt didn't consider himself a Papyrus at all - he'd already had the moniker long before the pageant had begun afterall.

Black combined the Worst of Stretch's brother and the Best - if that quality could even be ascribed to him - of Edge. A menace of a monster who honestly came across as the smallest of the Sans in a more convincing way than Stretch was the tallest of the Papyri... Not that anyone had dared mention it to him of course. Stretch was saving the observation for a special occasion.

For whatever reason the Tiny Tyrant had taken an exception to the idea that he was just the evil twin of Blue and went out of his way to be exceptionally petty about finding ways to make himself out to be the better version of his older brother.

Honestly it was a bother and Stretch tried to stay out if it since Blue Obviously could take care of himself but for whatever reason Black seemed to take Stretch's height as a challenge as much as any Papyrus... With the sole exception of Mutt.

Trying to recreate the circumstances of Edge's measuring contest between the Stretch and his own brother during a holiday social backfired spectacularly into Mutt curling even more into himself and Stretch - more than a little tipsy - actually challenging Mutt to see who could slump the most.

Mutt had shrunk so fast into his coat that his skull had almost vanished amidst the fluff like a turtle and Stretch had laughingly declared him the victor, pleasing Black and being the last time for years that anyone bothered with his height.

So now onto the present situation.

Edge had been so pleased when he ambushed him and his brother in the grocery store, smug about his six inch heeled boots and his mastery thereof, dying to show up Blue who also had an insatiable love of the damn feet death traps and he had turned to ice his cake by pointing out that with these he could be the tallest of the Papyri...

That annoying smirk whipped clean off as he met sockets - exactly level - with Stretch who didn't do more then smile back because this was the joke of the lifetime.

"How!" He choaks, the sweetest music to hear.

Stretch leans in even closer to whisper conspiratorially "I'm standing up straight."

This only makes Edge froth with rage and stomp off without ever noticing that Stretch had been standing on a divider on the floor giving him a physical lift along with the rise to his spirits when Edge's dropped like a man into a river with cement shoes.

Blue laughs, mood doing a 180 as quickly as Edge's. "You should have told him the Truth Stretch!"

"Mmm?" He hums curiously, moving to drap himself back atop the already half full cart. The other versions of himself were fun to get the goat of but they were exhausting even in small doses. "What that this place's floor is poorly designed? But he was being insufferable."

"Nope," His older brother says in an insufferable tone of his own - oh no, not one of his 'great' jokes. Those were the worst. "That the reason you're always going to be taller than the others is that you're always Up to No Good!"

Stretch groans and covers his skull with his arms, pushing the cart away with more vigor than he'd shown anything all day. "Title drops are the Height of bad comedy."

Of course that only makes Blue laugh harder.

[rwbyremnants]

CHAPTER WARNING: Unsavoury stories from Winter's past.

NOTES: Well this is definitely the make-or-break chapter as far as Winter is concerned. Some of you will still want her to fry and some of you might forgive her. The authors don't think either of those reactions is "wrong"; she did something very fucked up, after all. So that's up to you guys. Just know that we definitely won't judge if you continue to hate her.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the last chapters. We're going into the home stretch! Less than 10 left - and that's including the epilogue!!! (And I know that's still a lot, but hey this fic is already super long lol). See you soon!

=Chapter 34

Luck finally seemed to be on Yang's side. A canceled appointment from another client meant that she could get into counselling the very next day, and finally attend her first session. And this time, with Blake's company, she didn’t back out. She went in, poured her heart out to the kind woman who took notes of everything and gave heartfelt advice. A few tears were shed, but when Yang apologized for them, her counsellor simply smiled, and told her, "For most, if you don't cry on the first session, then you don't need our help."

Blake had sat in the waiting room for that hour, having brought paperwork from her job as something to pass the time. It was an ease on Yang's guilt to know that this afternoon wasn't going to be unpaid or an inconvenience for her best friend. But most of all, she was glad to have her there. To know her friend was still saving her, even now.

Once the hour was up, the two made their way toward the main desk. Yang was still wiping the few stray tears that were present away with a tissue, but her doctor only smiled as she completed the paperwork. "You did really well today. I'll go through this paperwork once I’m home so we can come up with some coping strategies, but for now, remember those deep breathing exercises, alright?"

"Of course. Sorry I never showed last time…"

"Hey, now," Blake told her quietly, soothing up and down her shoulder with her hand. "Already told you, don't worry about that. You're here now and that is what's important."

"Today's just been talking, me learning more about her. Next week, we'll be going over various techniques and the real progress will begin." The doctor smiled, but then looked back to Yang again. "Should you ever want to see another counsellor or if you move out of state…" The doctor began to scribble something on the top of one of Yang's forms, before handing it over to her. "That's the number for our main office. They'll sort everything out from there."

Taking it back as she instinctively leant against Blake again, Yang sniffed once more, wiping away one more tear. "Okay, I'll keep this. Thank you so much."

As they made their way out of the small office building and into the parking lot, Blake watched her friend. She did seem to be doing better; like even though she wasn't back to her old self quite yet, there was significant improvement form the week previous. The phrase "scared straight" came to mind… ironic though it was, given her sexuality.

"So… Cold Stone? I did promise."

"Huh? Oh! Right, yeah." This time, she was actually smiling when she looked back toward Blake. A genuine smile, rather than one that vanished within three seconds. Even if she was still sniffing occasionally. The first session was emotionally draining, mainly consisting of explaining what she thought the problem was, and the underlying causes that upset her the most. Winter was covered, along with many more topics related to her own undealt with issues that had always been there. Of course, it left her nervously laughing. "S-sorry. It was kinda… damn."

"You don't have to explain. One of the things I promised myself was that I wouldn't pry into your therapy; like, that's all you and your business. If you wanna talk about it, that's cool, but if not… also cool." Then she opened the door and plopped down in the driver's seat, buckling up as Yang did the same on the other side.

It wasn't until Blake started the engine that Yang looked up again, and then toward her. At least now, she was really there, and not off orbiting some other planet like a runaway moon. "I'm… sorry it took all this to get me here though. Seriously, I didn't mean to let everybody down."

Only now did Blake's expression look a bit sadder than before. Still, she smiled over at her friend and said in a soft tone, "I know. I know that, I… you're still Yang, and the Yang I know would never hurt anybody unless they earned it. So unless I pissed you off on accident somehow… yeah, obviously you did your best."

"You never did. You never ever hurt me, you've only ever been good to me. And now…" As she tucked the form away in her pocket, she nervously laughed again, smiling to herself. "You literally saved my life, dude."

"Anytime. Literally, if you need me to save your life like, a hundred more times… I'm there."

Once they were out in traffic, Blake decided to try putting their plan into action. After talking it over with Sun, they had agreed that there was nothing wrong with at least attempting to make this happen — even if Yang didn't go for it.

"So… um, I've been thinking about taking a trip down to LA to go to this conference; like, it's totally skippable, but I could make some contacts if I decide to attend. That kind of thing. And I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come with me."

Up until that point, Yang had been idly nodding her head to the song on the radio. Neon Katt's newer single, of all things. But just as the presenter was about to talk about more details of the Beach Fest, she turned back to Blake again, tilting her head.

"LA? You mean like… California, LA?"

"Is there any other LA?" she laughed, but very easily; she was even wary of being too mean in her humor about anything now. They could worry about getting back to kidding each other once Yang was in a better state. "Yeah, I mean, maybe the extra sunshine will help a little. And then we'll be back here in a couple of days, so it's not like a really long vacation or anything."

"Yeah… I guess. I do really like LA this time of year. Especially the bea-" But as soon as that word began to slip out, she stopped it before she could go further, and then looked down. It was like the flip of a switch once she realized the exact timing of going to the beach at that time.

"Um… Nah. I-I just… Wouldn't you rather take Sun? So you and lover boy can have a good romp in the hotel room?"

"Well, I was thinking I could have a romp with you…" But when Yang didn't respond right away, she nudged her with her elbow. "Kidding. I mean, we don't have to keep doing that if it's gonna be weird now, after… what happened."

"I'm more worried about you," Yang admitted earnestly, leaning against the car door as she idly stared out the window a moment. "Like… I don't wanna give off the impression that I'm just using you for sex, because I'm really not and never would."

"I mean…" Blake broke off as she tried to figure out how to phrase things, taking the moment to guide them around the corner toward their intended destination of ice cream. "You could. I was okay with that being what we were doing, if we were. And if it were… something else, that would be okay, too. Because I trust you not to mistreat me."

"I know you do. But I wanna make sure I don't. Like hell am I gonna lose my best friend after all this." She looked back toward her again, smiling gratefully as she nudged Blake right back. "Life saver, great kisser, good in bed… Sun's a lucky man to have you, y'know."

Nodding, Blake spared her a smile before returning her eyes to the road. "I respect that. Again, though, we both know we're on fire between the sheets, so friends-with-benefits is definitely still okay with me if it is with you."

Now Yang was finally reacting to such remarks, rather than the sullen, disinterested look she had been giving for the past two months. She was blushing for one, and looking over with a slight smirk. "Let's see how we feel when we get back then, huh?"

"Definitely," Blake told her with a grin. In the wake of almost losing her friend, literally anything that wasn't a sea of depression felt fantastic. They could worry about those "benefits" later.

However, as they went inside to get their ice cream, an annoying little bug nibbled at the back of her mind. She'd failed in her "mission" to encourage Yang to fly to California. Sure, there were other tactics she could try later, but this first attempt had flopped the minute Yang remembered the Beach Fest. Things were going to get tricky from here on in.

Once back in the car, several calories richer than they had been beforehand, Blake then asked, "So… about that job. No big deal, you getting fired; from what you told me, it was pretty crappy to begin with. Maybe we can get you one as a bouncer again?"

"That's what I was thinking! I mean, I still have Weiss's dad's number. If I couldn't get Winter to give me a reference, I could try him instead behind her back. I dunno why I never tried that before, actually…" She scratched the top of her head in thought, once more leaning against the car door to look out the window. "As much as I don't like him, considering what Weiss has told me, he seems a lot tamer than her. Just shave off the caterpillar ‘stache."

Snorting at the comment about the man’s facial hair, Blake turned down their road. "Well, maybe you should. And I mean… if nothing else, I can probably get you a job in the mailroom at my office. It will be the most boring work you've ever done in your life and pays minimum wage, but it's not nothing, right?"

"If it means company at break time that's not some guy constantly talking about his kid, or a customer asking me when his order's done, I'm fine with that." Although she began to perk up that little bit more when a thought seemed to come up with an idea. "This is totally like some kind of soap opera! I mean, I know we're all already okay with everything, but 'In your free time you're with the boyfriend, but at work you're banging the mail gal in the supply closet' sounds so Daytime TV."

The window was rolled down, so when Blake shouted a little too loudly, "Oh GOD, Yang, you're making me WET!!!" a few of the neighbors might actually have heard her. Probably not, but one never knew. Being as red as a tomato, Yang did manage to glance around just to check there wasn't anybody on the sidewalk, and then back to Blake again. Instead of leaning away against the window, she began to lean toward the driver instead.

"We'll just be photo copying something, except you're gonna be bent over the copier."

Before, she had been kidding. Now, she really was feeling wetter underneath her drab grey pencil skirt. Licking her lips, she kept her eyes on the road as she asked, "With the lid open, right? So the copies will be of you taking me as hard as you can." After all, it was only fair to tease back.

"Duh. Wonder if I can get your 'O-face' copied… hang that on my wall." Yang really was only teasing, although now that subject was coming up, it was seeming like the benefits part of their friendship certainly was going to be in play for longer.

Until they began to pull closer towards the drive, and Yang noticed another car pulled up in front of her bike. As much fun as they could have had coming home to an empty house, seemed Sun was here. Still, shrugging her shoulders, Yang simply made the best of the situation.

"Ah well, looks like lover boy’s gonna give you that O-face instead today. Want me to plug in some headphones and stay in my room?"

"Yeah, I guess so. For now." When Yang shot her a questioning look, she unbuckled her seatbelt and said, "Well, I mean, I've only asked him once before if he was hungry for a Blake sandwich. Maybe it's time I asked him again." As she stepped out of the door, she added casually, "Or a Sun sandwich. Whatever."

Raising her eyebrows as she unbuckled her own belt and opened the door, Yang seemed to look up as if she was questioning that notion. "Or… A Yang sandwich, even. Hell, if anything remotely like it happens, it'll be crazy." Finally getting out of the car and leaving, with a completely red face, she stepped onto the curb, eagerly waiting for Blake to come join her so they could make their way indoors.

But what was awaiting them inside was certainly going to put a damper on those plans. And a potential damper on their whole day.

Sat on the couch was Sun, just as they had been expecting. However, there was another person next to him on the couch; one that reminded Blake distinctly of the pop star she had met before. However, it wasn't quite her; she was taller, and had shorter hair and more severe features compared to Weiss's magazine-worthy ‘baby face’ ones. She was dressed in a suit not unlike the ones her bosses tended to wear, mostly light greys and navy blues. And on her face was the most miserable expression she'd ever seen on a complete stranger.

"Uhhh… who are you?" she couldn't help but demand.

"Okay, I did try to call, I was about to try again b-but-" Sun was fumbling on his words over and over, but as he was doing that, Yang had entered the room. And realized straight away who their mystery guest was. Her eyes widened, and she appeared more scared than anything else.

"Winter."

"Miss Xiao Long." The address was stiff and formal, even compared with how she had usually addressed her. "Well…" Awkwardly, she seemed to decide at the last moment that it was rude for her to remain seated when the two newcomers — the actual residents of that apartment — were standing, so she pushed to her feet and smoothed down her trousers. "When I heard your voicemail, I had to come. It seems there are matters that need to be settled between us."

"I… Um… I-I was… I just…" It seemed it was Yang's turn to fumble her words now as she looked between Winter and her two friends. One of which was turning more and more furious by the minute. And no wonder when she was the one who had to tell Winter the results of her actions. But such open support on her side was giving her that bit more confidence, even if she was nervous with the following line.

"Okay, me drunk-dialing you? T-that's not going to happen again, for a long long time."

"Yes, I… your associate here has been informing me of your progress. Well, partly. He hasn't gone into much detai-"

"Save it," Blake snapped, arms folding over her chest. "You know… you have a lot of nerve coming here after what you pulled. Do you understand that?"

Winter's calm demeanor faltered, but she did her best to pull it back into place. "Right. To business, then. It… seems I may have… misspoken when last we saw each other."

"Misspoken? Or realized there were consequences for what you said?" Blake demanded. But before she even gave her a chance to answer that, she then let out a harsh laugh. "Actually no, lemme ask you this; are you here because you thought she might have been dead, or because Weiss found out?" It was very visible; the color drained from Winter's face. But before she could speak again, Blake followed up with, "Give me one good reason not to call the police and report you for trespassing in my home. You couldn't give me a good one last time, either."

"Please, listen, I…" She took a deep breath. "I came knowing you survived the attempt, as I learned through Weiss. Not that she's speaking to me anymore." Admitting this last cost her something, and it was clear by the way she swayed in her black high heels before continuing. "H-however… oh, I don't really know why I came. I wanted to try, but I don't think it's going to be worth anything to you."

"You just wanted to ease your guilt a little. I get it." Yang nodded her head, finally starting to appear more annoyed than frightened by the exchange. If money wasn't just an object for Winter, she would have maybe considered why she was here more. But then again, Chicago was very much out of the way in Winter's line of work, especially when she should be heading west.

It was this moment when Sun perked up again. There was an advantage of him speaking to her before the other two got there. "She was, uh, just telling me how Weiss still misses you; even if she’s kind of a… cishet, I guess, she can see Weiss is hurting."

"Hurting from what she did to her," Blake corrected slightly. "I mean, are we forgetting that she did this? That without her, none of this would even be an issue?"

Winter's head bowed and she went on, "I understand. I… I'm not welcome here, you don't want to hear what I have to say. I can appreciate that, honestly. But… I want to make things right. There has to be something more I can do for you, other than simply staying out of your way."

"Well there's nothing! Nothing! I'm completely fucked up because of what you did!" Yang shouted, hands curling up into even tighter fists then before. But even as Sun tried to place his hand on her arm to calm her down, she shrugged it off instantly. "No, I'm done sugarcoating this! I was hard enough for anyone to date as it was; chicks with dicks don't tend to be very successful aside from the odd dude that has a fetish and wants a wild night. And now I'm a walking time bomb who needs pills and psychiatric help to keep from offing herself! So why the fuck would Weiss want to date that?!"

"Because she does!" Winter pleaded with her, eyes wide and tearful now. Her composure was slipping, and quite rapidly, at that. "Please, you… I thought I was doing the right thing, you have to see that! It wasn't supposed to lead to- to any of this!"

"But it did," she replied bluntly, expression beginning to soften as she looked down toward the floor instead, growing sadder rather than angrier. The fire had burned out so quickly, whereas the old Yang could have maintained it for ages. "And now, I don't deserve her. She might want the old Yang but I'm not the old Yang; and I'm not gonna be, not for a long time. This current one is a drunken, pothead burnout who can't hold a job. In what world does a fabulous diva deserve that?"

"Believe me, you're wrong! So… so I made an erroneous assumption about your motives, alright? I've never known a- a person like you, I'm sorry! But please don't think she's doesn't care about you, or that I ever wanted anything like-"

"Listen, haven't you done enough?" Blake interrupted her with a voice like a razorblade. "Messing with their lives because you get some kind of sick pleasure out of playing God! You don't care about Yang! You don't even care about Weiss, and she's your own sister!"

That made Winter's expression darken. For the first time since they had entered the apartment, she looked any way other than distraught and apologetic. Those emotions were still there, but there was also the tiniest pinprick of anger.

"You really think that, don't you? Oh, how wrong you are."

"Hey, don't you dare talk to her like that, you old cunt!" Yang snapped.

And within a few more seconds, the three girls were bickering at each other, shouting louder than one another to try and get their points across, but all to no success. All it was gaining was more stress, tears forming in Yang's eyes, and tears even falling from Winter's. And for the other blonde in the room, who bore witness to it all, it was becoming too much – which became obvious when he yelled louder than them all.

"ENOUGH!"

There allowed a brief moment of silence to follow, just to clear the air, before he sighed. And then gestured the following words with his hands. "Don't you guys get the point of all this? Everyone in this room wants the same thing; for Weiss and Yang to be happy. And we're not gonna get there by trying to out-yell each other!"

"But she hurt them!" Blake protested, slightly surprised at her boyfriend even somewhat standing up for Winter. Normally, she would have understood and even appreciated him being impartial, but not when it involved the woman who almost brought about the end of her best friend's life.

"It's done, Blake. And we can't exactly hop in a DeLorean and go back to prevent it. My point is, we need to focus on what's happening now." It clearly hurt Sun to be stuck like this. To be defending the person responsible for the worst thing that had happened to his girlfriend's best friend's life; even if he was just acting as a mediator. Not allowing that to stew any further, however, he began to pace around the room back and forth.

"Things are fucked, with Yang's head, no doubt with Weiss's head, too. We can blame Winter for where we are, or we can take her word that she was trying to fix shit, and now she’s trying to fix what she fixed the wrong way before. Right? Way I see it, this is rock bottom; we can’t fall off the floor. We have nothing to lose by trying."

"Why should we trust her, though?" Blake said, trying to force herself to be more calm and rational despite the pulsing of anger behind her temples. "After what she pulled, I don't even believe she has our best interests at heart; she's just mad that we're mad. Like any little bully who finally gets in trouble for bullying."

"As I said, I can understand how you would see me that way,” Winter whispered. “And… you are right, to a degree. But I promise you that I had no idea my actions were affecting anyone this way. That she…" A quiet sob fell from her mouth before she could cut the rest of it off. "She hates me. She doesn't even think of me as her sister anymore, and after how this turned out, I suppose I deserve that. But if you only-"

"’Oh, woe is me, my sister's girlfriend nearly killed herself because of the shit I pulled and now she won't talk to me,’" Yang mocked, refusing to even look at the sobbing, crying mess that was once Winter. “Like you have it so bad compared to me.”

Which had made Sun roll his eyes. "Guys, you're doing it again! Look, let's focus on the goal; Weiss and Yang, everybody feeling good. Right now, there's so much distance that there's no chance of that happening. So, we need to close the gap. And we need to do it before we no longer know where Weiss is."

"And that's why I'm here!" Winter followed up from him, desperate to get past the topic of her horrible misstep and on to the task at hand. "To make amends, to… do what I can. It's already come so close to being too late once, and I don't think we should risk it again!"

But Blake was already shaking her head, arms still folded tightly against herself. "Sorry, but I still don't trust you. I can't. You might be for real here, or you might be trying to… I don't know, make sure Weiss doesn't get back in contact with Yang. But your transphobic ass chased her off once, and I'm not letting you do it twice. Now, unless Yang wants to hear you out any more than this, I think you should leave. She's already upset enough as it is."

The white-blonde woman looked wholly defeated. Not merely set back or frustrated, but as if she wanted to crawl into bed and stay there for a week or two. Turning to Yang, she said in a very uncharacteristically meek voice, "Please… hear me out, I… we can make this right together, but not if you shut me out now. I… I’ll…" She swallowed hard and whispered, “I’ll beg if you need me to.”

Yang no longer knew what to think. From the amount of unpleasant things she had heard about Winter, and the family in general, Yang was more inclined to reject her offer. And that was without considering how Winter had spoken to Yang in all the time they knew each other. And yet… seeing her so desperate, so upset and lost… it tugged one of Yang's heartstrings in the wrong way. Whether or not she knew what she was saying before was hateful and hurtful wasn't helpful in this situation.

But seeing how she was now reminded her of someone else who was so desperate recently: herself. Would Winter end up in the hospital the very same way she had if she sent her away without hearing her out?

"You've got thirty seconds to explain whatever you and Sunny Jim cooked up together; then it's up to Blake if she calls the police."

"Come with me to LA," she began immediately, looking almost as excited as Weiss had when she first learned Yang had a motorcycle. That was the only time it was clearly visible they were actually related, and not just in possession of vaguely similar faces. "I have a private jet waiting at O'Hare, we can be there in a few hours, and then… then you can talk to her. I've already explained what I did, so she should hear you out. Even before that, I think she would have; my sister is… much more open and accepting. And if you knew how desperately she misses you!"

It was a tempting offer. And definitely much cheaper than heading to LA on her own. But the plan still seemed flawed. Yes, they knew where she would be, but she wasn't exactly going to be available in that time. "She's gonna be performing, she will want to — heck I'D want her to focus more on that. This concert's the biggest thing that's ever happened to her."

"Then just… go to show you support her. And then you can talk to her afterward; I'll pay for the hotel room, I’ll pay for anything, just… try, if you can."

"You can't buy your way out of this one, Schnee," Blake growled offhandedly. The matter seemed quite settled in her mind, but it was Yang's situation to handle; she didn't want to take the reins away from her.

"And how am I supposed to get in?!” Yang growled, running a hand through her hair then grasping a handful of if. The entire situation seemed too hopeless. “I'm not a bodyguard anymore! I don't have all access! Frankly if I can get in that easily I'd be worried for security."

But Sun and Blake knew an advantage they had on their side. And now was the time to announce they'd been thinking of it. "What if we told you Ruby's going?"

A roll of eyes. "And what's her going to a concert gonna do to help me?"

"She has an extra ticket," Blake told her matter-of-factly. "One that could have your name on it, if you decide to at least show you're still her friend. If nothing else."

"And I'd make sure you have no problems," Winter rushed ahead, seeming so close to fending off a possible panic attack. "Not a single one; I'll pave the way for you and her to have a private conversation, either at the event or afterward, or- or the next day! Just say you'll go, and we can… can make this work!"

Seeming to stare out blankly, Yang was deeply considering the options. The plan seemed sound enough, to get to LA and be there for Weiss’s big moment, then talk to her backstage afterward. And Sun had a point that this would be the only time she was guaranteed to be anywhere in the immediate future. It was now or never. Even if it was a long shot. There was nothing to lose.

Then again, what could she do to get Weiss to notice her in the audience? If the crowd was so huge, she'd need some kind of big gesture to get her attention. Something that only her and Weiss shared…

And once she'd figured that out, she began to smile, rolling her eyes. "I guess I'd better get my shit packed then. I have a dumb idea that is just crazy enough to work."

The Schnee private jet was more or less everything one would expect from such a well-known organization. Stocked to the brim with both food and drink from around the world, staffed with an attendant to help with anything they should need, it was as close to staying in a luxury hotel as one could come in the middle of the sky. But Winter had dismissed the woman once she got them all waters – and Sun a bag of Cheetos – asking her to simply make sure the pilot was comfortable and that they would call upon her if needs be.

"Well, just make sure and tell me if you need anything else," she told them in a would-be professional voice after asking for the fourth or fifth time. It was getting hard to keep track.

Yang hadn't particularly said too much on the plane only sat on the large leather seat with the guitar on her lap, occasionally strumming the odd tune quietly. But every time Winter asked about water, or food, or any other feeble little thing, it made Yang strum an incorrect note, and her groan was audible and pointed. Things still weren't looking good between them.

"I swear you were less annoying when you were hounding me for my history…"

Sighing wearily, Winter turned around and remained silent for a few moments, checking something or other on her tablet. Clearly, she had yet to engender any true trust or respect, and could not so easily make up for what she did to Yang with a few meager gestures. That was to be expected, but the manner with which the other three treated her was beginning to grate.

And after a few more wrong notes, Yang finally gave up, rolling her eyes and putting the guitar to one side. On a plane thousands of feet in the air, it was difficult to concentrate. Even if it was the fanciest plane she had ever seen. Thanks to Winter's presence, talking to Blake felt awkward, along with anything else.

Her only possible solace came from sniping comments. "Looking through my Facebook again, I assume?"

"I am not," Winter said through clenched teeth. "I'm actually finding out the weather conditions for our flight and also catching up on correspondence."

"Death threats, then," Blake muttered easily, sipping at her water. "Can't float those out there and forget about them."

Even though she could feel the tension in the air, she continued to push, even smirking toward Blake. "Maybe telling Daddy she picked up the tranny and asking if she can keep her as a pet."

"Yeah," Blake laughed nervously. Though Yang would joke around with that word once in a while, she always felt uncomfortable with “tranny” being said in her presence. Even by the trans woman herself.

"He has no idea,” Winter couldn’t help snapping. “I simply let him know that I had an urgent matter involving something I needed to correct; as I promised you, if you left, I would tell no one. I had no reason to break that promise… and since now I'm dissolving your responsibility to stay away from Weiss, there's no longer any reason to make your… habits more widely known."

That remark only made Yang laugh as she stared back toward her. "Wow, me almost dying and your sister disowning you is still not enough to make you realize this isn't some hobby."

The death comment put Winter on edge, but not in an angry way. "Fine. I'm choosing the wrong words. I don't know the correct ones, alright? Trans woman, yes, I know there's some kind of difference from a crossdresser, but it still doesn't-" She cut herself off, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I am not being insensitive on purpose, I’m merely ignorant."

"Got that right," Blake muttered under her breath.

"That's one word for it. Then there's selfish, bigoted, transphobic…" But as Yang continued to roll off the words, and observed how annoyed this was making Winter, she was starting to smirk to herself. After how Winter spoke to her in their last meeting, calling her an abomination and threatening to ruin her own sister’s life just to spite her, this only seemed fair.

Which was when she decided to switch tactics. "Part of me wonders if you did it because you hate me, or because you hate that Weiss was happy."

"I told you not to speak about that," Winter told her in a flat tone, trying her best to focus on the tablet screen. "And that I was only trying to ensure Weiss's future. Yes, I regret doing it because I didn't fully understand the situation, but at the time-"

"At the time, you split up a happy couple," Blake overrode her. "Not really sure when that's ever the 'best plan' but hey, made sense to you so that was all that mattered, right?"

"Yeah,” Yang chuckled. “It made sense to either get rid of the annoying tranny, or ruin her sister’s life. Both our lives. How’d she take the news that you did this? I bet she's been thanking you over and ove-"

"That is not at all what I've been doing," Winter told her soberly, irritation creeping into her voice after so many hours of keeping it clear. "Not that I would expect for you to understand how hard it is to manage her business affairs, but I am… exhausted from trying to keep up with all the loose ends, to make sure the business doesn't spiral out of control. Just because you were one of the few times I made a bad judgment call doesn't I did it on purpose!"

"Save it," Blake sighed irritably, shifting as if she was going to move to the lavatory and avoid this conversation. "You're so full of yourself. Like any one woman has that much power or pull. Just because you deluded yourself into thinking Weiss can't survive without you doesn't mean sh-"

"No, YOU save it!" Winter shot to her feet and whirled on all three of them - including Sun, who had been largely silent. Her eyes were wild, and she gestured at Blake, since she had been the last to speak. "I’m not the only one who’s ignorant here! You have no idea! My entire life is about making sure nothing bad happens to my little sister! Not just 'I spend a lot of time' on it - ALL of my time! Anytime I'm not sleeping or eating, and even then, I'm usually eating while checking up on Weiss's affairs, sleeping and dreaming about all the things I might have missed! Consequences that could be avoided if I put in more time here, contact the right person! Do you think I wanted to protect her for all these years in the business, only for her to end up as the next Britney, the next Miley – flushing her 'All-American Sweetheart’ image down the toilet because she's irritated by authority?!"

"Yet you threatened to make that happen!" Yang burst out herself, standing to her own feet as she glared right back at Winter, gritting her own teeth. "Remember?! You said to me that you'd out me to the media so she'd suffer! So her reputation would be down shit creek without a paddle! So don't you even think about saying you're a good sister, because you are not!"

"Do you really think I hadn’t already planned to clearly outline you were the one taking advantage of her?! That she wouldn't be the pure one being defiled by your, your…" Pulling at her hair, she managed to shout, "What I thought was your perversion, okay?! I’m trying to accept that things aren't how I saw them, but all I could see was a man who had found a way to put his hands all over my baby sister! And it made me SICK! I had fought so hard to keep that from happening, done so many things I shouldn't have done to preserve her from becoming that kind of casualty of this awful business! And I thought I failed!"

"Don't you dare call Yang a 'man', you bitch!" Blake was firing up. She was on her feet as well, even though she had felt Sun tug at her arm when she pushed to standing. "She's ten times the woman you'll ever be, and you're acting like she's nothing but a- a CREEP! What did you think she was going to-"

"None of you have the slightest CLUE!" Angry tears were falling now as she shouted at the top of her lungs, causing huge, blotchy red areas to rise on her cheeks and neck. "How many wealthy studio heads, top executives, would KILL to have a seventeen-year-old girl with an angelic face all alone in their offices for a few minutes! How many meetings I had to rearrange, cancel, shift, to make sure that never, EVER happened to her! All without sacrificing her chances of rising to the top of the charts, and I have done it! Damn you and your judgment of me, I have done the impossible, what my inept and aloof father could never manage: kept her safe AND pure AND successful! Even if sometimes I had to be the one defiled in her place!"

The instant the last words were out of Winter's mouth, she drew back and slapped a hand over it. Fear burned behind her eyes; real fear, not just a niggling worry over what they would think of her. Terror about that particular secret escaping her inner security vault.

And in her guest’s eyes, a different type of fear. Shock and awe. None could believe what they had just heard, but obviously they'd heard too much, considering the fear that they were seeing back in return as they stared.

“What… did you say?” Sun asked softly.

“Nothing,” Winter attempted, though now she looked as broken and dazed as they had ever seen her. Worse. “All I mean is that… that I only wanted what was best for her, and I don’t want to hear you claiming anything to the contrary. That’s all.”

The room had turned deathly silent for what felt like forever as they simply stared. That was until Yang finally swallowed, and spoke quietly. "Blake, Sun, can you guys leave the room for a minute?"

"Yeah…" Blake glanced at Sun, then went off to find the lavatory, after all, taking her water and boyfriend with her. She didn't meet Winter's eyes again, only glanced at Yang, curious what the blonde was feeling. Clearly what was once anger had begun to melt away, but she waited until they had both closed the door behind them until she moved again.

And even that was to just sit slowly back down, and continue staring out into space. That sentence could have meant anything, as of yet she had no clue. But the sickly feeling in the bottom of her stomach was enough to tell her what it probably was. Then she remembered, the case she had heard about when she first joined the team. That Weiss was having anonymous pictures taken of her from inside her changing rooms and tour bus, yet that fad had suddenly came to a stop with no explanation as to why, and no one bothering her again. A comment or two from Winter before this that implied no one would understand how hard she fought for Weiss’s future.

"You… found out who was taking those photos, at the beginning of my career… didn't you?"

Weaving slightly as she walked, Winter made her way to the minibar and dropped a few cubes of ice into large, clear glass. "He won't be bothering Weiss again. Or any other young starlet. My… father has connections that are quickly becoming my connections. They don't mind making sure unfortunate things happen to unfortunate people."

"Your father knows about this?" Yang asked while she watched Winter pick up a bottle of gin, and then hesitate. Still, she kept going, "And he lets it happen?"

"He knows I dealt with the source of the photos, nothing more." Something like a smile passed over her as she began pouring other dark substances into the glass, mixing them together. "They had… warrants in another country already. Pull a few strings, and off he goes. Extradition."

"And you… had to clean it up. Plus a lot of other things. Um… what kind of strings did you have to pull?"

There wasn't much more she could do. At the beginning of the day, she hated this woman with every fiber of her being, the day previous she was sending her a voice mail about how it was her fault she nearly ended her life. And now, she didn't know what to think. If it were really true, this explained so much of who Winter was, why she acted the way she did. It even explained why, with the limited knowledge she had, she had tried to destroy their relationship.

Explained, not excused. But she still wanted to learn more.

"Oh, that doesn't bother me," she said offhandedly as she finally raised the drink to her mouth and took a long draught. "Even…" Again, fear flickered in her eyes. "I don't mind, as long as it means I can preserve my sister. Even sex; using it as a tool of the trade. It's the worry of anyone finding out the things I've had to do… using that to cast aspersions on Weiss, on my family name. That's what keeps me up at night."

So it was true. There was undeniable truth that her assumption was right. Yet again, she could feel her stomach turning at the thought, at the mental image that unfortunately made its way into her mind. Such a proud, fierce woman, debasing herself behind closed doors because she thought it was the only way to help her sister. But what made this worse? Weiss was completely oblivious. She had no idea what went on behind closed doors while Winter was securing various contracts and concert opportunities, and only thought of her sister as an even more soulless copy of her father. In a way, she still was… but now Yang knew there was a reason she had become so soulless.

And that made her breathe outward, shaking her head as she spoke quietly. "You're an idiot for thinking Weiss would want this career at that kinda price."

"No, I'm a manager. Though I'll admit, sometimes they are the same thing." Another swill and the glass was empty - and Winter went straight to pouring more for herself. "You don't have any reason to believe that I'm sorry for how this turned out. I was just doing what I always do, but… that's no excuse for getting sloppy. For seeing a threat and trying to eradicate it without first figuring out if it was a real threat to begin with."

"Well for one thing, she wouldn’t force you into a situation where… that is the solution. Nobody’d do that." Yang got up to walk to the bar herself. For a moment, it looked as though she was going to grab one of the bottles of beer, but in the end, she skipped past it and went for cola instead. Before pouring it, she pulled out the small bottle of pills from her pocket, resting them on the bar for a moment.

"You could have just asked me who I really was, and asked both of us if we were together. Just done things the nice way instead of sneaking around behind our backs. I'm supposed to look intimidating, yeah, but I'm just… a big fluffy teddy bear if you're nice to me."

"No, you aren't," Winter scoffed harshly. "You've been a thorn in my side since you started working. Sniping at me, taking your little pot shots… still. No excuse for me jumping to conclusions." Her finger nudged the bottle of pills slightly before she reached to freshen her second drink. "Chasing you into that."

"I've been a thorn in your side? Right! Like, I understand why you were so vile to me now, but you could have just talked to me, talked to Weiss. Don’t act like I’m the one who started all this when you’ve been jumping on my back." She allowed that comment to stand in the silence while she filled up the glass to the full, and then took one of the pills from the bottle, toying with it in her fingers a moment. "Especially talk to Weiss… Because I can tell you now, if she knew you had to do all this just to keep her career going, she'd be heartbroken."

"NO." As if the word hadn't been final enough, Winter set her glass down so hard that it cracked down the middle — not that she noticed immediately. Her eyes were completely intent on Yang, mouth set in a hard line.

“’No’, huh? That’s it?”

"Weiss must never know. Not ever; I don't care if you and Blake talk about what a hypocrite I am, or a 'transphobe' or whatever else you want to call me, I don't care. But you can't tell her about any of this, it's… disgusting. Already, I have to look at her and see you on top of her – and that was her choice, something she wanted." Her lip curled, but when she continued, it was clear she wasn't offended by the previous thought, but rather the following. "Putting her through the same thing? Making her think about men she's barely met… with her sister, and when it wasn’t what I wanted, it's… I can't let that happen to her beautifully pure mind. I won't."

Taking the pill into her mouth and swallowing it before the conversation could go on, Yang took a large gulp of her drink to help it the rest of the way down, resting it softly on the bar again. It also gave her a second to think. The situation was one Yang wished she was never in, especially since it involved caring about her worst enemy. But she did. And she couldn't stand that she was so stubborn she'd do nothing about this, and continue to “help” her sister in this same dubious fashion.

Not for much longer. "Fine. I'm not gonna tell her, and it's up to you when you can tell her. But it stops. Now. Because I know for a fact if the only way she could get those contracts signed is by you whoring yourself out or whatever, then she wouldn't want them. God, you know that!"

"I… don't know how to promise that to you." Raising the glass again, she noticed it was broken and sighed, dumping it straight in the trash bin before dragging another over to replace it. When she noticed Yang watching her, she smirked bitterly.

"Haven't you figured out why I'm so determined to get as much alcohol into my mouth while we're discussing this… horrible subject? It's to wash away the memory of their taste." Once the glass was full of booze and ice, she took a swig, then sighed as if it were satisfactory. "Not that I was ever truly forced into it; I made my decisions based on what would have the best possible outcome. Just… the cost of doing business."

"It's wrong," Yang corrected her. But not for the reason Winter would assume. That much was obvious as she went on. "It's wrong for those jerks to trap you in a situation where that's the only option. You shouldn't have to do that, shouldn't be expected to put out for pigs like that. And if you think stepping in to take that… that abuse is the way to get results… what's gonna happen when some other fourteen-year-old 'America's Got Talent' winner doesn’t have a sister of their own to protect them, huh? Those guys will do the exact same thing… and it’ll work this time."

Her shoulder shrugged, though she looked so much less sure of herself than before. "What does that have to do with me? All I care about is Weiss. I'm not out to change the world; just to protect her from how completely horrible it is."

Finishing off the rest of her drink, Yang put the empty glass back down, and shoved away the pack of pills now that she'd taken them. Rather than say anymore, she folded her arms instead. "Well guess what? Since the start of that tour, that's been my job. Bodyguard and all."

"I know." Her fingertip traced a circle in the water the sweat from her other glass had left behind on the countertop. "You… did your job well, I must admit. When I first realized you two had designs on each other, I thought about making you the same offer I made all those other executives and producers, if you would only leave her be, but…" The corner of her mouth lifted slightly. "Isn't it funny? I hated you for tainting my sister, but also knew you wouldn't have gone for my offer. Somehow… gut feeling. I wouldn’t have been enough."

At last, she turned around properly, eyes wet and face a mask of indifference… one as cracked as her first glass. "My sister means the world to me. And she means the world to you, and you to her. I don't understand it yet, or this whole thing about you… being you, but I'm beginning to see what she sees in you."

A slight smile was beginning to appear to one side her lips, yet she couldn't quite bring herself to look back into Winter's eyes just yet, eyes staring out blankly as she thought on that. The more she was hearing Winter talk, the more she was beginning to realize why at first she hated her, and also why now she was so flattered by hearing her words.

"You remind me of me." She shrugged, grabbing another bottle of cola whilst they were still stood by the bar, pouring it into the glass. "Do anything to protect your loved ones even if it means you take the fall. But only problem is, as I just learned the really, really hard way, that's dangerous. I don't wanna wish what I went through on anyone. Even you."

That startled Winter out of her calm state, and she blinked several times. "You… are you worried about me trying to harm myself?" Against both of their expectations, she let out a bark of laughter. "Wow. After all the trouble I've caused you, I'd think you would be happy to see me go."

"When I left that voicemail? Maybe I did. For a little while, when I was looking for someone to blame other than myself for how shitty I felt. Now that I'm thinking rationally…" She could only sigh, only now looking up to meet Winter's eyes with her own. "You really are just another me, trying to do what they think is best. And we both really fucked that up. Maybe you went first, but I haven’t been doing much better lately."

She had no response to that. Tears were rolling down her face freely now, but she couldn't find her voice to speak. Maybe Yang hadn't truly forgiven her, but even just being compared in this way, given some tiny amount of understanding, was far beyond her expectations.

"Hey." She tried to catch her attention again, finally genuinely smiling toward her as she stood upright, holding her arms outward. But all Winter could do was sob harder, shaking where she stood. As if afraid to move any more or she would fall apart completely… which was a distinct possibility.

So instead, Yang was the one who stepped forward, and wrapped her arms around the crying woman. It was still an awkward situation, since Winter hadn't quite begun to trust her, nor had she quite forgiven Winter just yet. But it was a step in the right direction. Clearly Winter needed for someone to be on her side, and someone to vent to. Even if it came accidentally.

"I know you don't know what to think of me… but know that if this goes well this weekend, no matter what comes Weiss's way, I'll protect her with my life. You don't have to do that anymore. Not the way you’ve been doing it, that’s for sure."

"But if I'm n-not protecting Weiss… then who am I?!" That seemed to be all she could ask before she broke down crying into Yang's neck, the sound raw and ugly, halting. The sound of someone who never cried and wasn't really sure how to go about doing so.

"Her sister," she responded instantly, still embracing her tightly even as Winter used her to cry on. She needed this. As much as Yang hated being the one to give it to her, it was the only humane option. "You're her sister, and she loves you. And she would love you more if you showed her how much you cared instead of letting yourself get abused for the sake of her career. Because she cares about you way more than a couple of album deals."

At first, all Winter could do was nod into her neck, sniffling and clutching at the back of her shirt. By this point, it could have been just about anyone on earth and she wouldn't have been able to stop herself using them as an object of comfort. But she wasn't going to forget who it was. A minute or two later, she pulled back, still sobbing but having recovered enough to speak again.

"I can't believe I was s-so unkind to you! I don't deserve your pity, I don't deserve you being nice to m-me, not after what almost- what I almost did! I'm such a st- a stupid whore!"

Instead, she rubbed her shoulder gently, allowing herself to nuzzle lightly against her neck. Taking a deep breath in and sighing, she tried to remain as calm as she could while Winter needed comforting. In truth however, she just wanted to cry. It hurt to see anyone this broken, even her. "You're not. But today's the new leaf, new start. And if I can pull myself out of a pit of self-hate, you can pull yourself outta this."

"You and Weiss have my blessing," she told her very soberly, eyes wider now than they had been thus far. "Not that you n-need it, but I'm also going to do whatever I can- I meant that before, and I mean it now, I… I was already thinking that anybody who would actually have listened to my ridiculous orders on the off chance that it would be what's best for Weiss… that you clearly… I was so wrong."

Her hand came up and pressed against Yang's neck as she looked her in the eyes. "You're in love. Really and honestly… even though I'm still confused about you being a woman but born a man, and all those things. That's…" She shook her head violently. "It’s less important than my sister. You're going to have to teach me as we go along."

Nodding, Yang eventually released her grip around Winter, softly smiling at her instead. She was finally at the stage where Weiss began at; plenty of work to do, but she was willing to learn. Picking up her glass again, she paced toward the chair instead, immediately sitting down and relaxing.

"Then ask away, sister-in-law."

For some reason, that last term, even though it had probably been intended as a joke, made Winter smile at her for the first time since Yang had known her. Watery and broken as before, but a true smile. And it remained in place as she sat herself directly across from the bodyguard and they finally began to do the one thing they never had: talk.

In that time, Blake and Sun had vacated to the spacious bathroom of the plane. Both were stunned by what had just happened. Winter was the cause of all their problems, the reason Yang was even there in the first place. That was all they knew her for. And now there was a true reason – not that they could hear it over the humming of the plane engine.

"Well… now I feel pretty shitty," Sun sighed as he paced around the room.

"I don't," Blake said from her perch on the toilet seat, though her voice was a lot more subdued than it had been before. "I mean, yeah, it sucks that she went through all that… I wish she hadn't. Wish the world worked different ways, but she still interfered with Yang's relationship and… and almost killed her, you know? It's no excuse."

"Never said it was." He gave up his pacing, and instead leant against the wall next to her, deeply sighing and staring upward at nothing. Crossing one leg over the other, he also folded his arms over his chest. "Either way, seems like Yang's not the only one screwed in the head."

Snorting, she leaned back and tried to get comfortable again, as impossible as it was. "We're all probably a little screwed in the head." Then she looked up at him out of the corner of her eye. "Except for you. Out of all of us, you're the one that's solid as a rock, you know?"

Numbly smiling as he looked toward the ground, he uncrossed his legs again, allowing himself to slowly slide down the wall to sit on the ground instead. "You'd think that, but I was just as scared as you were last night."

"That's not really the same. It's not about whether or not you were scared, it's… that you were still there for us. Being awesome." Then she looked down at the tile again. "I'm gonna need you a lot, too."

He spared a moment to give her a soft smile, but then went back to staring outward again. Now they had come to the subject that Sun had been meaning to mention for a while. Especially so in the last two weeks. "I know. And… I know you want this to go well, for Yang’s sake, but I also know you'll miss her a lot if it does."

"Oh, why should I?" Blake said with a would-be amused laugh. "Just… what happens with us. She's here, then she's gone, then she's here, then…" A tight shrug, and Blake started drumming her fingertips against the sink. "I'd be pretty dumb to expect her to want to stay with the rebound chick."

"You're not the rebound chick. You're just… two people who needed each other for two different reasons. Yang needed the company and something to ease the loneliness, and you were in it for the nostalgia – and having someone who can keep up with your sex drive." Somehow, he found himself smirking at that remark, shrugging his shoulders. "It's gonna hurt, but you both knew it was temporary. Doesn't mean you don’t matter, y'know?"

"Yeah…. yeah, I know all that." Her fingertips drummed faster. "I guess. Don't I?"

"Hmm, maybe not." He smiled. This time, he reached up to hold Blake's spare hand instead, holding it in his for a moment. "I know this’ll be super rough for you. It's not every day someone's first ever love just randomly comes back into their lives; of course that's not gonna be easy."

Blake digested that for a few seconds before answering. When she did, her question was, "Do you… think I took advantage of Yang? Please, be honest; I'm too in the middle of this and I can't trust my own instincts like I normally would."

"I…" He hesitated for a moment, looking to one side and visibly scrunched up his expression. This was the subject he was slightly more scared to voice an opinion on. And although he didn't agree with it… "I think you were both vulnerable and both rushed into it without thinking. So even if you did, so did she. Nobody fucked up worse than the other person."

She nodded glumly, staring down at the floor. "Okay. I never tried to, but I was worried that was what happened. So… so that's fair, I guess." Then she cleared her throat and forced a smile. "Now all I have to do is let her go. Again."

"But this time, stay in contact." Sun squeezed her hand lightly, beginning to stroke it with his thumb. "Because she means a lot to you, and you do to her. With or without the sex. You've done a lot to help her out, and I'm sure she appreciates it."

"Yeah, of course; I'm not letting her sneak out of my life completely. Never. I'm just…"

And then, Blake did the thing she had promised she wouldn't do; she started crying. Unlike the girl in the main quarters of the plane, her tears were very quiet and resigned, but that may have had something to do with how very resigned her voice and body language were.

"Just always going to be in love with her. At least a little, even if I'm also in love with you. Isn’t that crazy? I never, ever thought that I could be the kind of person who's fine with dating two people, that I could let that happen, but it's… it's just… true, and I lied to myself, a-and said it was just sex, and… and now there's nothing I can do about losing her."

"Hey hey hey…" He let her hand go to stand again, and leaned in to give her a quick hug, slowly stroking her back to try and calm her down. Even if he knew all along this was the inevitable result of their actions, it still hurt to see her so utterly heart broken. He wasn't exactly going to have no reaction other than 'I told you so'.

"Can't say I know how it feels, but it sounds like it sucks. A lot. But, I guess at the end of the day, it's good to know she’s gonna be on the road to recovery, right? That she’s doing better – you saved her, dude!"

"That's true," Blake sniffled, though she didn't sound cheered by it at the moment. This was the one second she would allow herself to actually feel the pain of loss, petty as it was to her way of thinking. "I'm just… stupid. I know that. You tried to tell me that, and I didn't listen… and I just let myself believe I was going to keep both of you around. Because I'm such hot shit that can have the two hottest blonde Asians in North America, right? UGH, I sound like an idiot."

Sun only hugged her tighter, unable to help but slightly chuckle at that remark. "Hey, least for a while you got to live the dream. One of each gender, ‘n all. I guess… be glad it happened, and look forward to staying friends this time." But as he gradually released her, he shrugged his shoulders. "Who knows? Maybe if this goes well, Weiss and Yang might be up for experimenting. "

"Oh, don't be…" But Blake fell silent. That was about the least likely chain of events she'd ever heard of… but the very idea was making her mind turn into a fog of scattered possibilities. "But I'm not even really bisexual," she reasoned, almost mumbling to herself. "Just… Yang is hot, so- and Weiss has no reason to want to fuck me! Like, are you serious?"

He had been joking, but seeing how Blake was serious about that remark, and very doubtful in herself in regards to other people wanting her, he shrugged his shoulders. "Why not? If she's gay, you're curious and Yang is bi, I can't see why it wouldn't work… other than like, awkward limbs going everywhere, Twister-style."

Blake was rolling her eyes, though blushing through her tear tracks. "Stooooop! No way does some megastar want to bang me when she has Yang in the sack! That's like… trading in a Prada purse for one from Walmart!"

"You really gotta stop that," he said bluntly, pulling her in closer toward him for a moment as he rested his forehead against hers. Unable to help himself, he stole a kiss from her lips. "Downgrading yourself, when you're made of gold. I'm a lucky guy, you know."

"But have you seen Yang?!" When Sun only kept glaring, she finally relaxed into his arms. "Quit being so nice to me. I'm going on and on about this woman I'm attracted to, when I have the hottest boyfriend of all time buttering me up. You deserve better than that."

Sun only shrugged again, once more leaning in to peck her lips. "Yet here I am, cuddling you, spoiling you, getting into the mile-high club with you…."

Her voice dipped lower as she hissed, "We can't do that! Not with Yang and Winter discussing terrible stuff out there!" But then she slid her arms around his neck. "However… nothing wrong with a little of this."

Then her lips pushed in against Sun's; chaste and warm. They would do quite a lot more of that before Yang saw fit to come and retrieve them. Blake needed the solace.

[catrose13]

Chapter 8 A Stranger in Paradise, this Chapters "Brought to You By" had so many good ones but I suppose if I had to pick just one it would be "They're Stupid Your Honor"

Yami giving getting lost in your thoughts new meaning

Oof pulling a push door

Tristan what are you teaching him!?

...Self-awareness about the weirdness of their hair

..."Making out with your lover"...Yami Téa's mentally referring to you guys as 2-in-1, I don't think she or Yugi minds

The past six months have been a trip for Yugi

...did Yugi have Depression? On top of all the bullying bullshit that was going on with him?

"Magical Hell Games" that is one name for them... possibly more accurate than Shadow Games

...Look at Yugi go! A Girlfriend and a Boyfriend all in one evening

"Girls. Boys. Bakura" A special gender just for them

Cards Against Humanity Duel Monsters

Fuck that Gym Teacher too

Having a conversation only to look out the window and realise your Partners Mind and Soul are Immense and Unfathomable

"Ah in the Intimacy you Hear my Fearful heart" "Nah dude that's a helicopter"

Oh dear he's still tipsy...

"Water does not crumple" Good to know

Well I'm glad one of them is confident...even if it is "unwarranted"

He's enjoying the freefalling... I don't think he's going to enjoy the landing part though

Well you jinxed yourself there Seto

"Little Calico man"....

...Seto are you beginning to have... stirrings?

Seto how many dog jokes are you going to make about Joey?

Honestly I'm unsure why they're surprised he has a tracker on his brother, all things considered it seems rather tame to me

Lol Seto's not the only brother to consider it either

...Seto is discovering undiscovered depths in both himself and Yugi

Téa's ready to beat his ass

Mai taking charge. She is the only Competant Adult around

Aww Seto's rediscovering his conscience

Bakura's inner DM taking notes from Seto's murder house

Ah Yugi uses Logic. It's Super Effective

The Thief!! "Sanguine Robed" Sanguine is a word for red!

Also he talks in Ren Faire!!!!

The Thief is Bound by Divine Providence to the House of Blackwood...Does he know the Rabbit?

"Devilry! Alchemy! Bullshit!" Brilliant

He's very Proud of himself isn't he?

...Is he negotiating with a Goddess? Negotiating and not getting Smote. Well done Thief King

"The Great Beast"

Op well at least this Spirit likes Bakura?

And knows things about Bakura's family

The Three Conspiracy Theorists are back...attempting to identify Ammit's species. Good luck boys

...Mokuba is too small to kick Pegasus' butt so he's going to have to satisfy himself with his shins

All that effort Seto put in to not swearing around him had now been proven useless

..."Mr Zbones" with a silent Z....Shadi...

The Iron Giant...I cried watching that movie, why would you remind me of it

...First the Foxes and now Ammit... I don't think there's going to be any marshmallows left on the island by the time they leave

...The Marshmallows count as sacrifices in her honour?

"A Very Strange River" that's one word for it

Aw Mokuba's making friends

And Shadi's learning that Pegasus is possibly not who he's looking for, or rather he is but Shadi thought he was looking for someone else

Mokuba is aware of how dumb people can be

The first time ever Shadi's phone has received a phone call

Aw Brotherly Reunion...via phone

Welp Seto need new pants

Bandit Keith impresses Yugi with his Sly and Sneaky Skills

Keith has very good instincts...If only the other people on the island shared even a hint of them

Seto is unaware that Yugi can and will removed Pegasus' soul from his body

Shadi demonstrating Dad Instincts

The Divorce

Mokuba sneaking more S'mores

...Oxford again...hmmm

Grandpa that is certainly a Subject Line

Thoth....New God just dropped

"The fun version of Obsession" hmm I think most people would call that a crush Seto

Joey is ...summarising? Goodness

Again Grandpa why are you adding crimes? Is it to annoy the people who actually did those crimes? To cover for them? For the lolz? WHY?!

...Chupacabra again

I'm glad he's aware that he deserved to be chased with a knife after that pun

I love that he has time to slip in how awesome and sexy he finds Mai's skill with first aid

"Téa's scary good at Duel monsters if you ever want to lose again"

"Bestie Committed A Clown Murder" I don't know why but I feel like that would be a hilarious therapy session

My question exactly Seto

Well he's displaying self preservation instincts for possibly the first time in this entire fic

Aw Mai protecting Baby Seto's innocence

Seto and Bakura are bonding...nice?

...Definitely a good thing they weren't friend before

Téa's goal is to Fist Fight a Ghost?

"YUGI IT'S TIME TO DUEL" No Seto it's time to sleep

Well done on making things accessible Seto!

Bakura... blood is important yes but not typically one of the things you list when someone is talking about good stuff that's red

...This scene caused me to make my first meme :

He unintentionally dyed his hair green. Poor boy

Yugi you really don't have grounds to call anyone's life weird

Aww Rex and Weevils 'Honeymoon'

"She's cute"... I'm sure many other people have thought that of Marik only to later regret it. Deeply.

"Funerary Potatoes"

Rex trying to remember which of the Ishtar's in adopted

Aww they're so loyal

So jealous... I wanna boop the snoot

Venomous animals are Marik's inspiration in life

Weevils so touched

Rex on the other hand is practical

Well Odions at least honest with himself

Poor Marik thinks his brothers still a virgin. Odion busy congratulating himself on his poker face

Seto trying so hard to deny his crush

Seto also trying to deny Yami's arrival?

"I wanna put you in my Virtual Reality Simulator" ...That's one way to proposition someone I guess, if you're a complete dork

"Two Yugi's per Yugi" I think that's about the same as Téa's 2-in-1 comment/thoughts

...Another god? Maybe Ammit? Or is it in fact a Chupacabra?

...Bakura are you Shakespeareanly flirting?

...The Thief flirts back...this could throw off my polycule ponderings

Shadi....The Thief just told Bakura to run from you

Did Shadi have something to do with the Parasite being in the Ring?

Well these two have almost instantly fallen into some sort of rapport

Bakura Ancient Egyptian Hellraiser... hmm I wonder who that could have been?

Lol The Thief's historical stories

Oh no, the Thief's been being digested since possibly before the Blackwoods got cursed by the Skull Bunny, he doesn't know!!

Well at least Bakura can somewhat catch him up, at least on what he knows

Albion! The one who Fucked Up!

OHHHH He's the Retrieval Specialist Anubis was talking about

Aw Romantic Chapter Art

[grapehyasynth]

FitzSimmons + 155 "You are my first choice." (preferably Simmons to Fitz during season 3, if you get what I'm saying.)

So I didn’t end up writing this IN season 3 but in REFERENCe to S3. But it’s set in S5 and has all the post-514 feels. Mentions of Will, if that skeeves you out please avoid. Angst and comfort and argghhhhhhh when will they let them live.

(Also, I wanted to note that I think it’s important to center the experiences of people with mental illnesses and not just privilege the experiences/struggles of people around them, but I also cannot cannot cannot write Fitz POV right now because I imagine he’s borderline suicidal and I just cannot. So.)

Jemma is starting to understand their mannerisms. She candiscern, at just a glance, whether the man she meets today is more Fitz or morethe shadow inside him.

It’s when she can’t that she feels most terrified. When shedoesn’t know who is in control. When she looks at Fitz’s face and isn’t sureshe recognizes him.

What kind of wife is she, to not recognize her own husband?

Today is one of those days. She feels like an imposter,sitting across the table from him, making idle conversation as if things arenormal. As if his life-long flirtation with depression and self-loathing hasn’ttaken a precipitous dive into something she can’t begin to comprehend.

He’s fiddling with his ring. That, too, makes her nervous. Heonly does that when he’s brooding on their relationship. She married a man sheknew. And now a part of him is a stranger. A part of him doesn’t want to bemarried to her. At least that’s what she thinks – he’s never said as much.Until now.

“It’s funny, this time loop we’re stuck in,” he murmurs,fingers slipping soundlessly over the gold band. “Makes you think about things.”

“Like the future?” she ventures hopefully.

He shrugs. He doesn’t look at her much these days. When hedoes, it burns. When he does, she seems him pleading with her to help him. “I s’pose.But the past too. What could’ve been.”

Sometimes she’s afraid to be alone with him. Not because ofwhat he’d do – he’d never hurt her, and she knows the Doctor won’t either, solong as he remains a whisper in Fitz’s ear. No, she fears what he’ll say whenthere’s no one else there.

“Do you ever think about what it would’ve been like?” There’sthat burning look. His eyes are drowned in unshed tears. It’s like Fitz wantsto cry and the Doctor won’t let him. “If Will had lived?”

Whatever she’s been dreading, that’s not it. Her hand curlson the table, nails digging into her palm. “I – I don’t understand.”

He tilts his head sadly, his sardonic smile an echo of theDoctor. “I know, Jemma. I know I wasn’t your first choice. I know if he’d livedit’d have been him you married, not me.”

Jemma feels like her chest caves in. She scrambles back fromthe table so fast the chair falls over. “How can you – how can you possibly –”

His face pinches. It’s that tension, that way he tries tomake himself smaller, the way he trembles a little even as he just sits there,that she knows it’s Fitz speaking, the shattered, miserable, scared part of himthat’s always been there but which seems suddenly indomitable.

She wishes he’d hold a gun to her head again. She thinks shecould bear that pain more bravely.

“I’m glad it turned out this way, of course,” he presses on.“Can’t deny that I’m selfishly glad. But – I’m sure you think about it. How canyou not? You had something great, you’d have had lovely babies–”

“How dare you,” she whispers. She knows he’s not thinkingstraight. She knows he can’t help it. But after everything – after their wedding – “How dare you presume to knowwhat I feel. Not my first choice?” She stalks towards him and he recoils, shehates that she makes him do that but the Doctor, this illness, it’s killing theone good thing in her life and she cannot stand for it. “Not my first choice? Why do you think I got with Will to beginwith? Because the man I loved, really, truly, deeply loved, the man I’d beensure I’d spend the rest of my life with, was gone, for all I knew forever. BecauseI lost everything and Will was there!What kind of choice is that?”

“What kind of choice is it to be stuck with someone for tenyears and just stumble into love with them?” Fitz shoots back.

“So you think that was an accident?” She’s not sure whichfear is making her cry the more, that he doesn’t love her or that he doesn’t believein her love for him. “You think I stayed by your side and worked with you anddragged you on the team and fought for you and with you and cried over youbecause I figured, well, this is the best I’m going to get, might as well justgive in to it?” She drops to her knees before him with the weight of all theirunspoken doubts heavy in her gut. “Fitz,” she whispers, and she has to dodgehis hand as he tries to cradle her face, because she’s not done being pissedand sad and scared. “I have been choosing you every day since I met you. Ichoose you every minute. I didn’t stop choosing you when I loved Will. I didn’tstop loving you when I loved him.”

She grabs his hand, the one with the wedding ring, andsqueezes it so she can feel the metal biting into both of their hands. “You areit for me,” she pleads, because it isa plea, because she needs him to believe this, because a vain, naïve, desperatepart of her wants to think that if he feels secure in her love he can beat thisdarkness in his mind. “It’s been forbetter or for worse for far longer than we’ve been married. And if therewere one thing I could change about our wedding, it wouldn’t be whom I married.It’d be the part where you said you don’t deserve me.”

“I don’t,” Fitz sighs, even as he clings to her hand and toher every word.

“But you do—”

“Will was perfect—”

“Only because you were looking for things he was that youweren’t.” He looks up at her, a bit startled, and her heart flutters with hope.“You looked at him and you picked out all the bits of him that weren’t like youand thought, well, that must mean I’m not good enough. But when I look at you, I don’t compare you to Will. I look at you and I see the manwho mumbles in his sleep and never forgets my birthday and who helped Daisywhen the rest of us were too bigoted and who still believes in Nessie and whosegaze turns me to jelly. It’s never been a contest, Fitz. No one else compares.”

His face crumples and he leans into his hands, crying. Shetouches her forehead to his, combing the hair over his ear.

“So please stop saying you don’t deserve me,” she murmursagainst his cheek, kissing his tears, the salt burning her lips only reminding herthat he is still alive, still soft, still breaking. “Because it makes me thinkyou don’t believe in my love. And there is nothing in this universe I am moresure of – not Newton’s laws, not the mitochondria, not even the value of asolid classification system – than my love for you.”

His lips tremble an inch from hers, but instead of a kiss,it is a hug he draws her into it, the kind of be-my-anchor hug they’veexchanged for years. In some ways, Jemma thinks, as Fitz sinks onto the groundto kneel with her as they hold each other, it’s more significant than any ofthe kisses they’ve shared, because this hug, this manner of hugging, camefirst.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles into her shoulder. “I’m sorry,Jemma, I know you love me but I can’t – I’m not –”

“I know,” she assures him, rubbing up and down his spine.

“I’m d-different now,” he gulps. “You shouldn’t love meanymore.”

She pulls back and takes his face firmly in her hands. Helooks a bit like a chastened child, sniffing, blinking blearily up at her. Helooks like a boy who needs his mum. “If you had cancer, would you expect me togive up on you? Of course not. You’re still the man I love. You’re just sick.But you’ll get better. We’ll get you help. We’ll fix this.”

He closes his eyes. She can see him warring with the Doctor.“What if we can’t?”

She doesn’t tell him that’s what she thinks about, when shelays awake at night, unable to sleep. A future in which his mental healthcontinues to deteriorate. In which he disappears into the Doctor. In which thecardigans and the hand tremor and the soft smiles and the childish pranksdisappear too. In which he stops speaking to her with affection and takes offthe wedding band and leaves her forever.

She doesn’t tell him that.

She cradles his head to her chest like she can protect him.

“I left you once, thinking it would help you,” she answersat last, telling the bit of truth she can voice without feeling sick. “I won’tmake that mistake again.”

 You said ‘If we hadone more life

I’d be spending it byyour side’

Kissed me one lasttime

You said ‘Baby I’dchoose you twice’

[videoplanchette]

I beginning to think that whoever wrote the final seasons of supernatural really did not care for the show at all. Like there are references that Chuck (an author insert) makes that just sound like utter contempt for the Sera Gamble era (with references to the monsters, the leviathans, being vastly inferior). Which like I didn't think they were the best seasons either, not by a long shot-- but its so odd to hear a show so stewed in its own hype to disparage itself like that.

Not to mention Chuck's interactions with Becky (the fan insert character) were interesting. Becky has clearly adjusted since her days where her motivation was to kidnap/marry Sam-- like good for her. This absolutely one-note character had some growth. Only for then chuck to kill her anyway when she didn't like his interpretation of the story.

Which is like I guess they have to show how far Chuck has fallen. Even implying that Becky's previous relationship with him was somewhat abusive. Like she flinches and runs away from him at first-- which is interesting...

Becky very specifically points out that Chuck's writing style has evolved away from the early seasons of the show. Citing that there is no classic rock, things of that nature-- saying that there was no tension. Which like-- bitch yeah there's never been tension on this show!! WHAT!!

She also cites the utter lack of Cas. Which the show and the fandom has lead a lot of people to believe that Cas is somehow a main character or at the very least a deuteragonist-- but his role on the show seems to be jobbing. Which for those of you who don't know that term, it basically means that: Cas gets beat up a lot to show how strong a threat is. Like Cas is a bit more valuable I'm sure to the plot but more often than not he shares screen time with the likes of third-tier "guest appearance" characters like Crowely. So this whole 'he's the third Winchester brother' thing esp when neither Sam nor Dean are very nice to him-- like sure, Jan. Like I'm glad the final season takes some time to address the fact that Cas was primarily kept around to be emotionally manipulated since he had legitimately nowhere else to go. Like Castiel has been kicked out of heaven more times than a drunk at last call. But I feel like this is a bit too little too late. Not to mention when Cas does stand up for himself it's always framed around how it makes Dean feel-- which is like typical dick boyfriend behavior. I don't know man I never felt like Cas mattered much aside from how people telling me that he mattered. The same with Sam and Rowena's apparent son/mother relationship. Which I feel like again in the right hands would have been something rather moving and poignant. But is more so just spoken about like it has more value than what is shown on screen. I feel like there is potential for emotional arcs within this show but the writers don't actually care that much about them-- or they do and the producers don't care that much about them.

Chuck annoyed by her remarks then makes his spite fic even more spiteful. Causing Becky to retreat in shock and horror saying that it was utterly devoid of hope. Which, idk again this show has never seemed particularly hopeful, they constantly talk about either killing themselves or dying young-- it's not a hopeful show. Like suicide is one of the content warnings on the tin. it is a dark and miserable show. it is frustrating and sad. Most of the show is one of the brothers talking each other down from killing themselves and failing. I guess I have to wonder what exactly people were expecting. Of course, I speak from the perspective of binging all the episodes on Netflix and not indulging in fic and art and going to conventions and the like-- but in a capsule, the show was a slog to get through because it was so depressing. We legitimately stopped at several points to refresh ourselves. If wasn't watching this to commentate on it for shits and giggles and my own analysis then I would have stopped halfway through season 9.

Something Something-- sunk cost fallacy.

Season 15, Episode 3-5.

We have 18 episodes of spn left, times that by the average minutes per episode which is 41, then divide that by 60. We have 12.6 hours of spn left.

If we start it at 5 am tomorrow we can finish it by the weekend, and we can be free to never watch this show again.

Should we do it?

We might die but that is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.