#Because just being alone in his thoughts clearly wasn't working

[memori662]

KIAN vs ALEXA (my two dear snipers...)

Spoiler: they end up as besties

And sorry if the P.O.V. is strange. Idk why sometimes they're written in first person and another times in third person.

Bang!

Alexa dogdes the bullet just by a hair.

Bang! Bang!

Now, what the fuck?

“Hey, to whoever is trying to kill me: I'm sure I have no debts. And if you're looking for any debts my parents might had...” She smoothly takes out her hand-gun. “I'll make sure you don't get your prize.”

Her eyes search for any strange movement. Any sound. Anything. And they land on a green fluffy ball (?) on one of the buildings.

The green fluffy ball (?) must've noticed her eyes on ‘itself’, as ‘it’ —in an abnormal velocity— changes placement.

“It's a solo sniper? Snipers don't usually attack alone. Or it's a very good sniper or there's more enemies.”

Shit. She has lost sight of ‘it’.

“Are you being a coward?” Maybe provokating whoever that might be lure ‘it’ out. “I mean, if you're a sniper that some dark organization hired to kill me, I'd feel honored to be such an important figure.” For fucks sake, I sounded just like Memori or Mimi...

It doesn't work. Bang!

Oh, they're good.

Alexa isn't one that works in dodging —unlike a particular blonde girl named Memori—, she's also a sniper. And she recognizes a good job done —thing that Memori definitely wouldn't...— Wait, don't think of her everytime??! Maybe those are things that happen when you're a competitive person and is paired with someone who enjoys remarking ‘how much better she is at everything’. But anyway, as I was saying— Bang!

“We're gonna be bad blood...” she mutters.

Her red eyes scan the place quickly, taking notes of anything she could use at her advantage and anywhere more enemies could been hiding. I should probably ask for help— Bang!

She would've been already dead if it wasn't for her quick thinking. She's been doing this practically since her birth.

I should confront them directly. Snipers usually don't have good hand-to-hand combat skills.

And with a quick and quiet running, she luckily makes it to the top of the —gladly not too tall— buildings without being shot.

She knows the green fluffy ball —that now takes the shape of a young adult probably with her same age, that wears a fancy mob-like suit that which would give off an intimidating aura if it wasn't for his puppy-like expression— allowed her to actually come closer, because he clearly isn't a normal human.

“Wow,” the puppy-looking boy speaks, “it's been a while since someone succesfully dodged my bullets.” His voice doesn't have any venom, just genuine interest. “You're good.” He smiles.

“I know I am good.” As she speaks she fires her gun. “No need to remember me.”

“If I shoot now, you cannot dodge.” The green-haired boy smiles slyly as he easily dodges the bullet. “Are you sure it's wise to keep attacking me?”

“Who said I couldn't dodge?”

“It's basic knowledge. You're so close to me that if I fire right now, you wouldn't have time to dodge.” he speaks lightly with a sing-song tone.

“Are you suggesting we chit-chat this over? Because I'm no diplomat.”

“Neither I am.” Even though his voice and overall appearance were so soft and puppy-like, the sniper in his hands right now says the contrary.

He probably isn't half bad in hand-to-hand neither. I need to be careful for any ambushes or hidden trap.

“Are you thinking about my skills right now, Alexia?”

“It's Alexa.” Oh no, this man is giving me déjà vu...

“I think Alexia sounds cuter, don't you think so?”

... Definitely déjà vu.

“Hehe, but I think Alexia suits you better, don't you think so, Ale~xia?”

Ugh, get out of my head, you fucking egocentric bitch—

“My name doesn't have anything to do with being ‘cute’. And how do you know my name?”

“Your name?” He widens his eyes —so fucking adorable—. “I thought you'd know me!”

Nope. This guy's on drugs.

“I'm Kian. K-I-A-N!” If he had a tail, it'd be swinging happily right now. “And you're Alexa. A-L-E-X-A.”

Why is he spelling the names again...?

“I asked you a question.”

“Memori is your Boss or something like that, right?”

Of course.

“You know her?”

The glimpse of sadness in his eyes disappears as quick as it appeared. “Yes.”

“What's she to you?”

“...” He seems to be struggling to find the correct words. “We- She was a close friend.”

... Is this some sort of pattern? Thinking of all the similarities...

Being unclear as fuck, acting as if everyone should know what you're talking about, being in your own world, switching personalities as a light switch, loud, child-like, asking how your name's spelled... There's definitely some patterns.

“Are you implying she hired you to kill me?”

“I'm not,” he whispers to himself. “It was just because.”

“Just because? Nobody hired you, no ‘a higher power demanded me to’? Nothing?”

He nods with apologetic eyes. “Memori seems to like you very much.”

Hell yeah she does and doesn't even try to hide it.

“You're asking why Alexa has to go with me?” She asks with a nonchalant expression. “Obviously because she's better than you all.” Her words are often impossible to understand if they're seriously or not. But it wasn't the first time that she admited a clear favoritism with Alexa.

“But Alexia, what do you man with a high—”

“Dude, did she reject you or what? You look so hopeless always talking 'bout her.”

“No?? I don't see it.”

“Ya sure?”

“Sure. She's like my sister.”

“... Really?”

“Really. She's like a black cat.”

What. Definitely no.

“Uh-huh,” I continue. “Why did you think it's a good idea to attack me?”

“Well, since Mori bullies you—”

“She doesn't.” Mori.

“—she must like you very much! And I wanted to see what it is that she likes about you so much!”

“You're nuts.”

“I'm not a nut- I'm not an aliment!”

“I know you're a real human.” He recoils just a bit when I call him a real human. “I meant you're crazy.”

“Ohh!” He has fangs. “That's what you meant!”

“Are you four or what?”

“I'm the same age as you!”

“Really? I don't think so. And how the fuck do you—”

“Ah, sorry for this,” he says as he lowers his sniper.

“No worries.” A total weirdo after another weirdo. “And where ya from? Your work, I mean. You look too fancy to be a normal sniper. Don't tell me you're a blue-blooded rich?”

“Ah, that is... Hm.”

“Very helpful,” irony fills my words. “So ya aren't a rich?”

“Ah, you could say... Kind of rich. My work pays me well.”

“Are riches becoming more and more common by the time?”

“People are getting better and better at finding suitable jobs!” He exclaims with optimism.

“I don't think Memori's your friend.”

“She's an angel! Who wouldn't be her friend?”

“An angel, you say?” She asks skeptically.

“She may be nicknamed sinner now, but I mean it as her personality—”

“She's nicknamed sinner now?! Since when?”

“Ah, between a circle of rumours,” he half-lies smoothly. “Nothing big, really. Some people simply resent her for her former job.”

“That chick was probably in some illegal trade. Tell me otherwise,” she rolls her eyes in exasperation.

“You don't know where she used to work?”

“At least me, no.” She looks at the sky. “She's a real mistery among us. Classic rich person behaviour. How delightful.”

“You don't have a very limited vocabulary!” He seems oddly excited about it. “I thought you wouldn't know words like ‘delightful’.”

“It's not a bad thing.”

“Why the hell wouldn't I.” No, this man right here? He's also a total fucker.

“Uh-huh.” Of course it is a compliment. Of course. Very obvious. Totally expected.

He suddenly grabs my hand and shakes it with both of his hands with a bright smile, but quickly stops after what seems like remembering etiquette. As if there is an etiquette for shaking hands. There isn't, right? ... Not that I would know, anyway.

A little late, no? “Alexa. Pleasure's mine. Is that what I'm supposed to reply?” I ask genuinelly this being the first decent handshake I've ever had.

“Excuse me,” he apologies with a smile as he lowers up his right-hand and looks at me expectanly.

??? What does he wants me to do?

“Uhm... What do I do?”

“Ah, nothing,” he dismisses.

Oh, a headshake.

I offer my left-hand to him. He stares at my hand, as if it was strange. Fuck, do headshakes have some etiquette I'm not aware of? “Am I doing something wrong?”

He focuses his attention back to my eyes as he accepts my headshake also with his left-hand. “It's not a big deal. Usually, handshakes are with the right-hands.”

So it does have an etiquette.

“Oh. I'm left-handed. I didn't know.”

“Don't worry your pretty little head about it.” He replies as he shakes his hand four times, completely different from how his behavior was a minute ago. “My name is Kian. A pleasure to meet you.”

“Mhm, maybe a little bit more formal, but yes,” he chuckles and nods. “You are cute. Like a mouse.”

Like a mouse. That's new.

“And you're like a dog.” It's an implied insult.

“Why, yes! I get told that often.”

“Figures.” I stare at this green-haired man with disbelief at his obliviousness.

“Welp, I need to go now.” He adds, “Boss expects me...”

Boss? So he does work for someone, huh?

“Bye-bye, Alexia! It was nice to meet you!” He waves his hands with excitement.

“... Nice to meet ya too, I guess.”

And with that, he jumps swiftly away.

Huh, what a strange man.

Randomly pick 2 OCs. Make them fight. How will it go?

[saltpepperbeard]

Jeff's being really nice, Jeff's being polite!

[buckyalpine]

Just a fluffy little thought. A grumpy, moody, broody Bucky, moping and grumbling through the compound with a scowl on his face. He was restless and annoyed the whole jet ride home. He tosses his bags off to the side, throwing off his tactical gear without a care in the world and Sam and Nat are utterly baffled because the mission was a complete success. Bucky's plan worked perfectly, his strategies were what got them in and out, he'd even saved a group of civilians that were unexpected.

Why was he grumpier than usual?

Because something is not right.

Everyone gathers for dinner and he barely takes a bite. He's shifting his food around his a fork before getting up and sitting on the couch instead with his arms across his chest and shoulders tensed. No one breathes a word, letting him storm to himself. Except you. You'd noticed Bucky's less than pleasant attitude but it doesn't scare you and you felt bad seeing him sitting by himself clearly stewing over something.

Maybe you had a crush on the soldier too. Maybe.

"Hey" You give him a soft smile as you take a seat beside him, still giving him space, "You okay?"

He gives you a shrug in response but that was normal with Bucky. You'd check in again and if he still didn't want to talk, you'd leave him alone.

"What's wrong"

Usually his standard answer of telling people to fuck off was easy but not with you. Never with you. Not when you turn him into a pile of mush and fluff. Bucky's grumpy face turns more into a pout as he contemplates telling you what's been making him so mad.

"My tummy hurts" he mumbles and you have to hold every fiber of your body together to keep from melting into a puddle because he could have said he felt unwell. Stomach pain. Stomach ache.Felt sick. Felt off. He could have said absolutely any other variation of what he was feeling but no.

The poor, grumpy, angry soldier was huffy and puffy because of a tummy ache.

"I'm sorry bub" you coo, not even realizing what you'd called him,"What would make you feel better?" You ask but Bucky doesn't actually know the answer. When he usually felt queasy he'd just grit it out until it went away.

"When I was little, my ma would make me some soup" He wasn't sure if it actually cured anything but he remembered it always being the yummiest thing he'd tasted and the one thing that made him feel all better. "But that was for when I had a cold"

"What about for tummy aches" You asked, noting the way the soldiers cheeks turned pink, his fingers fidgeting with each other. Of course he knew what his ma would do for his little achy belly but it's not like you could help...

"Um, sometimes she'd tuck me in bed and then.."

"Then?" You cock your head in curiosity while Bucky's voice dies on his tongue.

"Then she'd rub my tummy till I went to sleep" He rushes out with a small voice while keeping his eyes trained on his hands. His eyes grow wide at the giggle you let out, worried he'd made a complete idiot of himself, what were you to do with that information, it's not like you'd-

"C'mere" You take his hand gently in yours, gauging his reaction before moving him to lay his head on your lap. Bucky's stomach is now a mess of butterflies and whatever was upsetting him, his muscles melting into Jello as soon as you'd touched him. "Is this okay?" Your hand rests closer to his hip than right on his stomach and Bucky is barely able to squeak out a yes along with a quick nod.

You hum, moving your hand to rub soft circles around his tummy, his firm muscles under making you giddy on the inside. You recollect your nerves, focused on soothing motions, your other hand moving to play with Bucky's hair. You card your fingers through his short chestnut locks, smiling at the way he closes his eyes, his breathing starting to slow, muscles releasing their tenison.

"Better?" You whisper, giggling to yourself at the deep purr he made in response, relaxing with your gentle ministrations. He rolls over, smushing his face against your stomach, far too relaxed to care. The soft snores that follow after let you know the remedy certainly worked. As soon as you move your hand away, he blindly reaches out, placing it right back where it belongs and going back to sleep immediately after, tummy ache all gone, flutterly little butterflies replacing them. He's already dreaming of all the ways he could return the favour.

Isn't he an absolute precious baby.

So cute.

Bonus scene:

Of course the team gawk at what they see; the grumpy soldier now happy as a clam on your lap.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Bucky's tummy hurts" You reply with a smile and honestly the answer sends everyone into chaos.

"Awww Buckyyyy"

"So that's why he was so grumpy. Should've known when he kept pouting everytime we had turbulence"

"AWWWW The winter soldier as a widdle tummy ache?" Sam coos, only to silence his cackles when Bucky's eyes shoot open, staring daggers at him. "Don't give me that look when you're curled up on y/n's lap like a cat"

"Does rubbing it help ya feel all better-oh fuck"

Bucky's glare sends everyone scrambling right out, the empty room leaving him all content again.

Yes.

Rubbing his tummy made him feel all better.

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

you wonder how todoroki shoto is doing.

you remember him being the boy that sat a row away from you in class. he always kept to himself, never raising his hand to answer questions but always able to answer when he was called on. also, he was endeavor's son.

even if most of the parents at your private school where big shot's, apparently endeavor was in a league of his own. and so was his son, apparently.

nobody even dared talking to the todoroki son, and neither did you, but you liked looking at him. he's always so meticulous and calm as opposed to your rowdier louder classmate's. despite his quieter presence he always seemed to stand out to you. his bag is big enough to carry everything he needs without having to shove anything inside or leaving it half opened. he wipes his mouth with a tissue after he's done eating his lunch alone and his handwriting is pretty. his lashes are long and he's pretty.

you remember being partnered up with him for a class project once. he'd immediately cut to the chase and split the work for the both of you, clearly not humoring your attempts of starting conversation.

slowly though, you start getting him to stay behind to talk to you a little longer after the bell rings until he invites you to get your work done in the library, just to get your work done. until you ask him about his favorite colour and he doesn't know, so he asks you yours. and then you ask him about his favorite ice cream flavour, he says he doesn't have sweets a lot and he asks you yours. and you keep talking and he keeps listening and asking. you ask him if it doesn't bother him that you're talking so much but he says he doesn't mind.

you liked spending time at the library talking with shoto and you think he enjoyed listening to you. you liked riding your bike home with him while he walked next you, before he agreed to ride on it with you sometimes, but one time you both fell off and you hurt your knee, and he promised to never get on again if it meant you getting hurt while carrying you on his back. you remember him smelling really nice and you tightening your arms around his neck and nuzzling into him, and his grip on you tightening as well.

you liked holding his left hand when it got cold out even though he didn't like it much, but he'd do it for you. you liked it when you got to switch seats and sit next to him and you think he liked sitting next to you. you didn't see shouto smile often, but he did when he was with you and you liked that. and you think he liked that too.

you think so at least. you hope so, because when break was over he was gone.

you'd heard he got pulled out of school, some other people just said he'd switched, to go to a better cooler private school. you hated it when people said that because the shoto you knew wasn't like that. he knew people talked about him and he hated being associated with his father. he likes the caramel you sneak in for him at school and you like the way his eyes light up when he guesses the flavour of fruit candies you make him taste. the shoto you know that ties your shoes for you and shares his umbrella with you, the one who half heartedly stomps into wet puddles with you, the one with the pretty lashes and pretty smile and pretty handwriting isn't like that.

and you wished you could've asked him where he went, and why he went and took his warmth for snowy winter days with him, but you couldn't because he didn't have a phone and neither did you. you weren't old enough for one yet and you'd told him that as soon as you'd turn thirteen he'd be the first contact in your phone and he'd smiled.

you couldn't do that anymore. and you wonder how he's doing four years later.

you don't very much, but you think about him sometimes when his soft hair and pretty eyes cross your mind. he never cared for his looks much even after being voted the most handsome boy by the girls in class.

"i didn't know people thought i was..handsome." he ponders, scratching at the corner of his paper with his pencil. you kick your legs in the air where you're sitting next to him, you pout.

"why not ?"

"because..my scar.." he trails off, he keeps erasing at a spot he'd already wiped the pencil lead off of. you lean in so you get into his field of vision and he leans back a bit with widened eyes before leaning in towards you again, you're forwardness always took him by surprise.

"nuh-uhn, the others say it makes you look even more handsome !" you reassure and he blinks.

"do you think i'm handsome ?" he asks, tilting his head cutely. you splutter and feel your face heat up.

"e-everyone does.."

"do you ?" he leans closer.

you gulp, gripping your chair you turn your head away from his to the side and nod. you get the courage to peek up at him and you're surprised to see a smile pulling at his lips and a light tint of pink on his face.

"that's good." is all he says, but you feel so much warmth swarming through you, and you think he does, too.

so you wonder where he is and you wonder how he's doing. you wonder if he has any new friends or if his most handsome boy award got him a girlfriend. you wonder if he truly felt the same way you did way back then and if he liked holding your hand just as much is you did his because it was warm but also because it was his. and you wonder if he thinks about you.

except you don't have to wonder anymore. because on your first day at your new school, he walks into class. his eyes widen when he locks eyes with you and you recognize him, and you think he does too.

[magiclwritings]

Cesare felt the air around him still and chill in the same stroke. His eyes narrowed on Quin and all the alcohol he'd drank felt as though it evaporated through every pore on his body. In that moment he couldn't understand the man's tone but he felt the rigidiness just the same. He hadn't done anything wrong. Not really. Had Beau confused him for a few moments? Yes. But nothing more had come of that. And once the prince found out who he was and what he was doing, it wasn't difficult to deduce the rest. But clearly Quintus wasn't ready or willing to do that yet and he'd have to explain in a way that didn't seem as though he were trying to defend the other to him. Wasn't he just the one being made to be made?

"I don't think it's difficult to understand that someone in his line of work." He paused, staring pointedly at the other for a moment before he continued. "Don't always receive the best treatment. And knowing the man that was pulling his strings." Which was partly a lie. Cesare didn't know their uncle well. Or, as well as he'd thought he had. In all the years he'd ventured to the castle in Vivec alone and in his father's tow, he'd never had Richard treat him poorly. The odd comment here and there, with more frequency as he'd grown closer to Quin, but never would he have guessed he was a power hungry man, hell bent on dethroning his own nephews at any cost. "I didn't think it was such a jump to assume that some of what has happened with you may also have happened with him." His brow raised and he sighed out, not ready to admit the next part. "Because you do look similiar enough that I imagine whatever he he wanted to say or do to you he often took out on Beau instead when the opportunity didn't present itself with you."

The prince stretched himself out on his bed, leaning back against the headboard. There it is. The soft, fuzzy feeling of the meade found him again and he breathed out slowly. "You've never told me the extent of what happened with ... Richard." He started, crossing his ankles over each other and his hands folded over and laid against his lap. It was hard to hear that name in his own voice. Until that moment he was fairly certain they'd never uttered his name between themselves. But the threat was very real and not using his name made it feel like he was bigger than they, and that simply could never be in Cesare's opinion. "Beau wasn't kind when he said it." He started, his fingers itching to dig into anything to make this less painful to speak about, less painful to watch Quintus' face when he'd finally gotten it out. "But I started putting it together. The way you don't like to be touched and how you're constantly on top of everything and everyone." He gave a slight shake of his head because honestly this did nothing but show just how strong this man on the bed was to him. And should be to everyone. "He only confirmed the missing piece that I'd been guessing at."

Cesare's tongue swiped along his lips to keep them from drying out completely. "Please don't take my kindness towards him as anything but that." He swallowed hard and fought himself on what he was about to say next but he thought better than to hide it. "When I first came upon Beau in what were suppose to be your quarters I couldn't be sure it was you. The room was too dark." The contents of his stomach churned and he felt odd enough to shift his weight. "He shared a kiss or two but nothing more than that." His cheeks instantly flared to the bright redness of coals and he found himself wanting to sink completely into the mattress. "I realized he wasn't you and threatened him within an inch of his life to get me to you and when that didn't work." He sighed and shrugged again. "I just tried to treat him like a person." He paused, seeing the snide comment coming quick but he cut Quin off before it could be made. "He wants to live. Free. Just like you and I. Just like everyone else. I couldn't imagine the sort of life one leads pretending to be someone else. Never having anything that is truly your own." Cesare gave a slight shake of his head and breathed out through his nose. "I just didn't want to be the sort of person that sees someone in a bad position regardless of their own involvement and not do anything to help. I've never been that way and I won't start now." He was firm on that whether Quin liked it or not. He could only hope his honesty didn't cost him everything else in the process.

Beau didn’t deserve anything, especially from Quintus, and as he rolled over to tell Cesare just that, he stopped being cold in his movements. 

He survived not great things too. 

Quin’s body went cold at the words, eyes narrowing as he read them for what they were. It could mean that Cesare knew, but he was many things, and a great actor was not one of them. He believed if Cesare knew about his past with his uncle, he would not be able to contain himself. His future husband would go through all of the stages of grief knowing that any kind of physical harm had come to Quintus, especially at such a young age. He could have simply meant all of the other horrors his uncle had committed, but that was banking on the idea that Cesare hadn’t made the connection regarding what Beau was to Quin’s uncle. 

It was challenging to decide if he wanted to press it when he couldn’t determine precisely what Cesare knew. If he did know, Quin would have to live with the stain of his uncle tainting their relationship, potentially ruining their future wedding plans. If he didn’t realize, Quin would be serving the truth to him on a silver platter. 

He sat up as Cesare came over with the tray. He only ate what was handed to him because he didn’t want Cesare to comment on his lack of appetite. Quin ate slowly, chewing meticulously, but everything tasted like ash, and with every bite, he had to force himself to swallow. It was like chewing nails. He listened to Cesare’s words, looking up from the dried fruit in his hands to study his expression. If there was ever a time Quintus wished he could read minds, it was this moment. 

He wanted to share Cesare’s excitement about having both Avenicci brothers under the same roof and look forward to experiencing Adros with Cesare, but Quin was that kind of man. He couldn’t let things go; he couldn’t ignore the possibility that Cesare may know and wasn’t admitting it. 

“What did you mean,” He said slowly, carefully. He ripped the piece of fruit in his hand to shreds, flicking the bits of skin off on the tray. “Earlier.’ Quintus glanced up at Cesare, gaze scanning over his face. “When you said ‘He survived not great things too’?” Quin raised a brow, waving his hand flippantly. “He was playing a role for my uncle. Pretending to be me, he agreed to go to trial disguised as me to plead guilty. While I was locked in my room and drugged constantly,  he had the run of the castle and could come and go as he pleased.  Anything he wanted was given to him as long as he played by my uncle’s rules, which he did so eagerly. So I suppose I’m just confused about what horrors he faced that you have been made aware of. He’s faced enough to warrant you saving and smuggling him out of the country. So please, do share."

[wileys-russo]

maternal instinct (2) II a.russo

part one maternal instinct (2) II a.russo

it had been a few days now and alessia hadn't heard much from you since the kiss, her confession and your reality check.

realistically she had known the moment it clicked for her that she had unresolved poorly harbored more than friendly feelings for you that it was complicated.

you had a child, a living, breathing, growing human being who depended on you for everything and anything. in turn of course you would be protective of that, of her, and of change.

alessia couldn't even begin to imagine what motherhood was like. the closest she'd come was her relationship with her own mother and even then in that scenario she was the daughter, the protected and ingthe cared for, not the parent taking the bullets as they came and shielding her from the wreckage.

so the striker had tried to her best to swallow her feelings, reminding herself that it wasn't fair on you to push them forward when you already had a very clearly well established routine and lifestyle.

but when those little dinners became weekly, the two of you spent more and more time together and in turn alessia earned bellas trust and started to get to know your daughter for the wonderfully bright charismatic and charming thing she was, there was suddenly two holes forming in the blondes heart.

then the thoughts started to creep in that just maybe this could work, maybe you might feel the same. alessia didn't yet have a maternal bone in her body but she wasn't opposed to learning, and she found herself daydreaming of how she might slot herself into your routine.

picking bella up from school when you had to work late, making lunches of a morning so you could have a few extra minutes to sleep in, the two of you in the stands in arsenal jerseys cheering for her.

but then alessia was fast to check herself, to remember that just because she could see herself slotting in that was far from the reality of what it meant to even date someone with a child let alone to be a step parent.

but all of that noise was pushed into a cupboard and the door firmly locked the moment your lips touched and alessia's heart swelled in size, hell she'd even give the grinch a run for his money that day.

though it didn't end how she'd hoped alessia meant what she said that night, she meant that she was okay to take things slow, she meant that she was more than happy to let you set the course and the pace and not overstep in any of that process.

alessia would be lying if she said she wasn't a little disappointed as the days passed and you didn't reach out, and that her finger didn't often hover over your contact with the temptation to send a follow up message to her last one.

she'd heard both you and bella coming and going from your apartment, often hovering by her door in wait for your voices to either disappear inside or into the elevator before she'd exit her own apartment, wanting to respect the fact you were taking the space that alessia did tell you to take if needed.

eventually thursday rolled around and the blonde found herself in two minds.

over the time she'd been living in her new place and then become friends with you, the routine had suddenly become that each thursday one of you would go to the others for dinner.

those dinners alessia hadn't realised how much she'd treasured until she found herself looking at the prospect of a thursday passing without one and her stomach lurched uncomfortably.

but as the hours ticked by and considering that it was your turn to host and alessia was yet to hear from you, she found herself with no choice but to assume it wasn't happening, ignoring the small voice in the back of her head telling her to check with you.

training was a brief distraction, her full focus and attention thrown into football to take her mind off of you for a few hours, which was a bandaid solution but worked.

but then as soon as she was cooling down and getting ready to head home, you were right back in the forefront of her thoughts.

her teammates and friends knew very little of you, alessia selfishly keeping you all to herself and not sharing much more with her friends than that her neighbors were all nice and welcoming, especially those on her floor.

which wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the entire truth and that was a matter alessia was content to keep to herself if not mainly for your privacy.

needless to say though since the kiss itself the last few days had been a roller coaster of emotions for the striker.

regret that she kissed you. fear you may not want anything to do with her anymore. anxiety that she'd squandered a chance of even a continuing healthy friendship. hope that you might just maybe feel the same way she did with some time to think it over properly.

returning from her shower post training and drying her hair with a towel, tapping her phone to check the time alessia finally had some sort of a step toward an answer, a missed call and a message from you sending her heart into her throat.

she could hear emily talking to her, having been engaged in the conversation prior to now but after finally seeing your contact name on her notifications again she'd tuned her friend right out.

relief flooded her body seeing you were indeed checking if she still wanted to come over for dinner and apologising for the lack of contact this week, and alessia completely missed emily giving up on gaining her attention after snapping her fingers routinely at the blonde who didn't respond.

sending a quick message back confirming she'd love to come to dinner alessia was rudely slammed back into reality as her phone was yanked from her hand and she looked up to meet a cheeky grin.

"kyra! give it back." the striker groaned holding her hand out for the phone as the australian shook her head. "who are you smiling so happily at lessi?" the younger girl teased with a toothy smirk as alessia rolled her eyes.

"no one! not that its any of your business anyway." she snatched her phone back and tucked it away safely in her pocket as kyra merely smirked wider. "suure russo sure." the brunette teased again as alessia ignored her and packed away her belongings into her gym bag.

"anyway, your secret love life aside. are you coming for dinner? i think we're getting sushi but vic can't decide and we all know what she's like when its her turn to pick a place." kyra rolled her eyes as alessia stood with a slight chuckle at the truth behind her words of their dutch teammate, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

"i can't tonight, sorry." the blonde apologized with a smile, trying to leave but sighing as kyra darted to quickly block her way. "i see...out for a date with your secret lover?" the younger girl made kissy faces obnoxiously.

"grow up kyra!" alessia chuckled shoving her away by the forehead as the shorter girl stumbled backwards and fell causing a few of the girls to laugh at her expense as alessia said her own goodbyes and headed for the door as kyra yelled out after her.

"hey that wasn't a no!"

~

alessia was expecting to see you today after your message and the missed call.

though it wasn't sat against your door with a miserable scowl on your face and your knees tucked to your chest. "good afternoon?" the striker greeted with a slightly nervous smile as you looked up and sighed.

"are you alright?" concern seeped into her tone now as she gripped the strap of her gym bag and anxiously rubbed her fingers against the course material to try and ground herself.

"i locked myself out." you admitted quietly with a huff, head thumping back against the door as your cheeks flushed red with embarrassment and alessia bit down on her bottom lip to stop a smile forming.

"its not funny! my phones in there too so i can't even call someone." you whined with a groan. "your daughter isn't by chance locked in there too is she?" alessia teased lightly as you shook your head.

"no she's staying over at her dads tonight, she has a family tree project for school so he's helping her do his side." you sighed as alessia just smiled down at you.

"i see. so how did you manage this then? coming from an expert at locking herself out of course." the blonde tried to lighten the mood which you appreciated as she took a seat next to you but still giving you a respectable amount of space, gym bag sat in her lap.

"don't laugh." you warned as alessia feigned a cross over her heart and you exhaled heavily. "well the other day i ordered a new library card and-" you paused, head whipping sideways as you heard a snicker.

"alessia!" you huffed pushing her shoulder as she bit down on her bottom lip. "i haven't even started yet and you're already laughing." you complained with a frown as she waved it off with the excuse she needed to cough and encouraged you to continue.

"so i ordered a new library card and a huge haul of new stationary for the school. but of course it all got delivered to the wrong address so i complained and the post office picked it up and organised a re-delivery." you continued as alessia hummed, eyes fixed on you listening intently.

"well it finally arrived today and in my eagerness to grab the package from the lobby i sort of ran out without my keys, without my phone and apparently without a brain." you huffed picking at a loose thread of the hem of your shirt.

when there was no word from the blonde beside you, you glanced over to see her biting down on her bottom lip clearly trying very hard not to laugh as you sighed deeply.

"go on then." you waved her off with a roll of your eyes, unable to stop your lips tugging into a small smile at the melodic sound of her laughter. "you're the worst!" you huffed still smiling, pushing her again.

"is that really the way to talk to your only source of shelter, communication with the outside world and entertainment?" alessia teased, nerves having melted away now things seemed to be all normal between the two of you as she climbed up to her feet.

"come on. you can use my phone to call the building manager!" alessia held out her hands to help you up, bag balanced on her shoulder as you grabbed her hands, noting they were significantly larger than your own and immediately banishing that thought with a slight warmth in your cheeks.

"i'll even make you dinner if you ask nicely!" alessia grinned, pulling you to your feet and dropping your hands to open the door to her own apartment, a smile softening your features as you noticed the bracelet bella gave her was indeed attached to her house keys.

"oh my god and i'd already started to make dinner too!" you groaned in realisation, cringing at the thought of the mince meat sat in a bowl on your counter top where you'd intended to make meatballs.

"i've actually not gone grocery shopping thats a tomorrow errand. maybe we order in?" alessia realised as she let the pair of you in, cheeks flushing slightly with embarrassment as you nodded happily.

"i'll never say no to a takeaway." you assured as she kicked off her slides and ducked off to her room to dump her bag.

you'd been in alessia's apartment enough times now not to feel like a stranger, but it still didn't stop you smiling as you stood looking at the various framed photos which littered the walls of her entryway of friends and family.

"less you were so cute!" you squealed spotting a new addition, a small photo of a no more than four or five year old alessia in a dirty football kit grinning and holding up a medal and trophy in her hands.

"god you sound like my mum. every time she comes over she has a fit over the childhood photos as if she wasn't the one who took them and she doesn't have album on album of them neatly organised in year order." alessia groaned, bumping her shoulder into yours as she passed and headed for the kitchen.

"i think i need to meet your mum and see these albums." you teased as the blonde gave you a horrified look before offering you a drink which you politely declined.

"what is that?" you asked with a scrunch of your face as she pulled out a thick looking drink in a protein shaker which was a colour you don't think you'd be able to find on any colour wheel.

"recovery shake." alessia explained after she'd downed a mouthful of it without flinching, offering it to you as you shook your head. "whats in it? thats a less than desirable colour." you chuckled taking a seat at the bench.

"umm protein powder, milk, yoghurt, honey, two raw eggs, kale, electrolytes, avocado, pineapple-" the more ingredients she listed the more your look of disgust grew before the blonde caught it and laughed.

"it sounds and looks worse than it actually tastes. go on!" she encouraged again, rounding the corner and holding it out to you as you firmly shook your head. "one tiny sip, come onn." the footballer shook it in your face with a grin as you pulled your head back.

"it doesn't even smell bad. i eat with my nose so thats why i add the fruit in, disguises all the vegetables. promise!" alessia swore as you gave her a strange look.

“you eat with your nose? what are you a hoover?" you quipped with a smile as she flicked your ear with a roll of her eyes, her legs just grazing yours as she took a step forward slightly towering over where you sat.

"no like if i don't like the smell of something i won't eat it." alessia admitted bashfully, speaking again before you could quip back with a teasing remark.

"come on, one small mouthful. aren't mothers supposed to be responsible and demonstrate trying new things?" alessia mocked with a grin still holding out the shaker as you begrudgingly took it from her hand.

"do you see my daughter anywhere near this atrocity?" you scoffed but took a cautious sniff, unable to disagree that really all you could smell was honey and pineapple.

with a defeated sigh you took the tiniest of sips, recoiling and shoving it back into her hand, alessias head thrown back with laughter at your reaction as you coughed into the crook of your arm.

"thats foul!" you spluttered out as alessia grinned ear to ear and nodded. "yeah they taste horrid but its part of my training program that i have to drink them after every session, you get used to them after awhile." alessia shrugged and took another large mouthful.

"you knew it tasted horrible and still egged me on to try it?" you scoffed in disbelief as alessia nodded, downing it again as you pushed at her but she hardly moved an inch, grinning in amusement at your attempts.

"sharing is caring. now you got a taste of what its like to be an elite athlete!" alessia smiled, sculling the last couple of mouthfuls and bonking you lightly on the head with the empty shaker as you kicked at her and she side stepped, making her way to the sink to rinse it out.

"right i was going to buy dinner but after that little stunt its on you russo."

~

"alessia!" you gasped in shock as the striker nearly fell over herself in her haste to hurry into the living room. "what? what’s happened? are you alright?" she asked worriedly at your tone, having been changing into something a bit more comfortable.

"im fine. do you not know how to get dressed?" you laughed at her disheveled state as she huffed and wriggled around to twist her hoodie on properly, pushing her head through and smoothing it out.

"i do! why did you gasp like that?" alessia huffed moving to take a seat on the lounge beside you. "because you watched ahead, again!" you smacked her shoulder nodding to the screen, alessia having nearly finished the show you’d both been watching together.

"i didn't know when we were going to hang out and i wanted to know who the killer was!" the blonde defended herself, swatting away your hands which tried to smack her again. "so did i but i waited!" you groaned, head thumping against the back of the lounge.

"well it was-" alessia started as you dropped the remote and hurried to cover her mouth. "don't you dare spoil it for me." you warned as she rolled her eyes but nodded as you removed your hand and she wiped her mouth with the corner of her sleeve.

"well i'd normally watch the premier league, but why don't you choose a movie." alessia chuckled tucking her legs beneath her as you shook your head and dropped the remote into her lap.

"i've already caused havoc on your plans for tonight. watch your game less, please!" you assured, pushing the remote away where she tried to hand it back to you.

"i didn't have many plans for tonight. some cute girl was supposed to cook me dinner but she stupidly locked herself out for a library card." alessia teased softly as you blushed and knocked your knee into hers.

"sounds like a dork." you joked as alessia laughed. "oh the biggest. but she's also like really smart so i guess all those library books paid off!" alessia gasped sarcastically, leaning her head against the back of the lounge staring at you as you did the same.

"what a loser." you tutted as alessia grinned, bright blue eyes boring into yours. "nah she's alright." alessia smiled softly poking your shoulder and pausing for a moment, cogs ticking over for a second before she swallowed all the doubts swirling round her head.

"i quite like her actually, but i don't know if she likes me in the same way." alessia's gaze dropped, fingers tracing patterns absentmindedly into the soft fabric of her lounge as her heart beat thumped in her ears.

when a few moments of silence passed alessia felt her neck grow hot with humilation and prepared herself both for rejection and to deliver a sincere apology if she made you uncomfortable, beating herself up for even saying anything in the first place.

but then you spoke. "i think she likes you in the same way, she's just a bit scared about what that might mean." you admitted quietly, glancing at her to see her head snap up before in turn your gaze dropped downward unable to meet her eyes.

"i wouldn't ever push her to do anything thats not at her pace. because i know she has another little factor to think of, who i also like quite a bit." alessia moved her hand slightly, fingers bumping against yours as neither of you made eye contact.

"that little factor also likes her quite a bit, which is adding to the fear." you admitted, bella quite smitten with her new big blonde playmate who taught her how to make pasta and had feet the size of a small dog in your daughters overactive imagination.

a few more beats of silence passed as both alessia and yourself were caught up in your own heads, fingers grazing one another with a feather light touch.

"you know a very wise five year old told me once that her mum said that sometimes all you need is thirty seconds of confidence to do something scary." alessia started, glancing upward as you did the same, both of you locking eyes and blushing further.

"we don't have to do anything that isn't at your pace. i can stop coming over and being around bella as much if she's getting attached, and if all of this is a bit too much then please you can say no and i won't be upset." alessia promised, your breath catching as slowly her pointer finger bumped yours before gently interlocking with it.

"can i take you on a date? please." alessia finished softly, the question hanging in the air as you now felt your heart beat in your ears and alessia was shocked you couldn't hear her own thumping in her chest.

"yeah, i'd like that less."

~

it was safe to say you did in fact like it, so much so that one date turned to more and a few weeks later you found yourself even more smitten with your now not so new neighbour.

true to her word alessia hadn't put a single ounce of pressure on you to do anything you weren't ready for or comfortable with and that only had you swooning even more at how understanding she was being.

you'd both had the conversation after the first two dates about alessia's ongoing interactions with bella, you making the decision that you'd like her to keep hanging around your daughter for the weekly dinners but not so much to the point bella suspected the pair of you were anything more than friends.

for a five year old your daughter was incredibly perceptive, and having grown up in a semi split family had made her more mature than your average five year old and especially in tune with her emotions.

she knew that you and her dad were friends, and that at one point you'd been a bit more and thats how she came to be.

but the both of you made it your mission to never let her think she wasn't wanted or loved by both of you, and thats why the healthy communication and routine with swapping bella between you was so crucial.

which is why you held alessia at arms length away from bella, your daughter being so in touch with her emotions though mature could sometimes let them get the best of her as five year olds do.

so not wanting to dangle the prospect of a shiny new friend and yanking her away should anything happen with you and alessia meant you took their interactions in your stride, and alessia had been nothing but respectful of that.

which is why it took you by surprise one evening when you were caught in a somewhat compromising position.

with your parents going away for a couple of weeks on a cruise you'd been pestering them to take for years now they were retired, bella was spending the weekend with them before they left mid next week.

the rare night off with both you and alessia having no plans meant you'd gone out for a nice meal together and intended to see a film afterwards, though the london weather had other ideas and with the rain bucketing down you'd ditched the film and grabbed a cab home.

spurred on by a few glasses of wine and some much needed liquid courage you'd all but dragged a soaking wet alessia into your apartment after racing from the cab to your building in the rain.

promising she could use your shower and with the blonde having spent the last month learning her way around your body a few well placed kisses had her now dragging you into the shower with her.

still taking things at your pace nothing happened bar a rather steamy makeout session which turned into you dying of laughter at alessia somehow swallowing a mouthful of water and nearly choking herself to death, which had killed the building mood anyway.

the taller girl stealing a hoodie and finding a pair of her own joggers in your closet the two of you now dried and dressed had curled up together to watch a movie, which ended up in alessia watching you.

"the movies over there russo!" you teased, a slight blush on your cheeks as you caught her staring again and tapped her forehead playfully. "i prefer this film anyway." alessia shrugged with a grin as you rolled your eyes but swooned internally at what you knew she meant.

"you should come to the game sunday, my brothers away travelling so i've got a spare ticket." alessia started softy a few minutes later, her hand warm and comforting as it rested on your knee, her taller body leaned into your side as her legs sprawled off the armrest of the sofa.

"mmm wear an arsenal jersey? i'm just such a die hard liverpool fan-" you started, squealing in surprise as her slender fingers jabbed into your side with a frown of disapproval making you smile and unfurrow her eyebrows with your thumbs.

"will your family be there though?" you asked, the twitch of your hand all alessia needed to sense the apprehension behind the question as she sat up properly and swung her body to face you.

"they would. but you don't need to meet them or anything, or my teammates and friends, i know its a bit soon." alessia assured, grabbing your hands in hers and you softened as she lifted them to her lips and placed gentle kisses against your palm.

neither of you had really started the discussion on what exactly you were.

you were more than neighbors, more than friends, going out on dates but not exactly dating, alessia had wanted to clarify but staying true to her word of not rushing you and just cherishing what time she did have with you meant she hadn't prompted the conversation yet.

"lessi i'm sorry everything has to be so slow and-" you started with a sigh, alessia shaking her head and squeezing your hands in hers to stop you before you'd finished your sentence.

"don't, please. i told you it would all be at your pace and i meant it, so long as i still get to spend time with you thats all that i care about." the striker promised sincerely as you nodded, leaning over to peck her lips a couple of times in a silent thank you.

"such a charmer." you teased softly poking her cheek as she grinned. already missing the feeling of your lips on hers you leaned in again to connect them, catching the taller girl off guard a little as the tone of the kiss shifted.

within a few seconds you found yourself moving to sit on top of her, your knees digging into the sofa either side of her thighs as her hands splayed against your hips and she sighed happily into your mouth with was still pressed against hers.

"what happened to the films over there?" alessia mumbled teasingly against your lips, pulling away to send you a dazzling grin as you shook your head and moved a hand to the back of your neck and drew her in again.

"would you like me to stop and we can finish it then?" you whispered with a smile, laughing as alessia hastily shook her head and tugged on your top connecting your lips again.

"so needy." you mumbled into the kiss, squirming as she pinched you for the comment, using the slight hitch in your breath to slip her tongue into your mouth.

now had you not been so caught up in the all consuming feelings that came with kissing alessia, and had your head not spun when those kisses moved from your lips down to your neck, her face tucking into your collarbone, you might have heard it.

the few rapid knocks which were drowned out by the movie in the background and ignored by both you and alessia who were too busy with one another, too busy to then hear the key turn in the lock and the handle rattle as it opened.

but what you didn't miss was the cry out for mummy and footsteps sprinting toward the sound of the movie in the living room, tumbling backwards off alessia's lap as the blonde clutched for you but it was too late as you landed on your back on the floor with a wheeze.

"mummy!" you grunted as a body joined you, bella hauling herself down on top of you with a grin. "bell. you're back!" you forced out in shock, still trying to catch your breath as your daughter nodded and scrambled off of you.

"big feet!" alessia was next to be jumped on, hugging your daughter with a smile as you sat up and rubbed your back which was throbbing from the fall.

"sorry darling. we did knock!" your head whipped upwards with wide eyes which locked with your own mothers, who judging by the amused smile on her face had assumed something was interrupted.

"i thought she was staying with you until sunday night mum?" you hurried to your feet with a slight wince, bella detaching herself from alessia and sprinting away toward her room.

"she is. but she forgot harvey so of course we had to come back for him, i did also try to call but it would seem you're a bit busy." she smiled and locked eyes now with alessia who blushed.

"mum, alessia. alessia, this is my mum amelia." you introduced them quickly intending to usher the older woman away from the poor bright red striker on your lounge but of course she had other plans.

"alessia. thats a lovely name! i work with an alessia and i hadn't met one before her and now i've met two!" your mother smiled warmly. "its italian, dads side. its lovely to meet you, i live next door we were just..." alessia trailed off, slight panic in her eyes as they met yours.

"hanging out. nice to watch a movie that isn't frozen with someone my own age!" you forced a smile, pushing at your mums shoulders who caught the hint and allowed herself to be lovingly shoved toward the kitchen.

you heard bella return and start yapping away at alessia who nodded along, grinning at the story of how harvey (your daughters best friend and most prized posession) came to be in her care, and you softened with a glance over your shoulder seeing the blonde keenly hanging off her every word completely invested.

"she's quite attractive." you were snapped back to the woman in front of you as your eyes widened and you groaned. "mum!" you hissed as she held up her hands. "just an observation! its nice to see you put yourself out there darling your father and i were-" the woman continued making you sigh.

"-worried i won't be married off before i fall pregnant? so sorry to have done it out of order!" you cut her off with a roll of your eyes. "less and i are just friends. i am allowed adult friendships who you don't know the entire family tree and childhood upbringing of amelia!" you huffed as the woman smiled.

"fair enough. we'll get out of your hair then darling, isabella!" she called out as footsteps thumped away and a body hugged your leg. "got him! now we can all go get ice cream with pop. you and big feet will come right?" her chin rested against your knee as she looked up hopefully and you smiled brushing a few loose strands of hair out of her face.

"not tonight bell. this weekends for you to spend some special time with nan and pop before they go on holidays, because they'll miss you lots and lots but i get to see you every single day. okay?" you explained softly as your daughter frowned a little but nodded and you dropped down to give her a proper hug.

"bye big feet! harvey says bye too." you stood and bella yelled out bye to alessia poking her head through the gap between your legs making the blonde laugh.

"bye bella, bye harvey. lovely to meet you!" alessia waved and you couldn't help but grin as bella made the teddy wave back. "nice to meet you alessia." your mum smiled before you ushered them out the door.

"bell don't run please!" you sighed as the five year old raced off to the elevator.

"you know darling back when i was your age my friends didn't give me little love bites, but i guess thats just a generational change then. have a nice weekend!" your jaw dropped and your hand clapped against your neck but it was too late as the older woman took off, taking your daughters hand and leading her into the elevator as you spun around and headed back inside.

"alessia!"

~

"is everything alright baby? you just don't seem yourself is all." alessia questioned for the second time as you sat on her lounge eating pasta she'd just cooked for the pair of you, bella at her dads for the evening.

your stomach leapt into your throat at the term of endearment and the way it melted so effortlessly off her tongue, the little nicknames weren't anything new only now they came a lot more naturally to the pair of you.

"i'm fine i promise. one of my friends from school is getting married this weekend and i can't go, they're all sending loads of videos and photos and i am happy for them i really am, but i wish i was there." you admitted with a sigh, alessia settling her bowl down on the coffee table and turning to give you her full attention.

"why can't you go?" she questioned carefully with a small frown, one hand holding her head up as it rested against the back of the lounge and the other tracing circles on your knee.

"well its an adults only wedding which makes complete sense, and i planned to go originally just for the ceremony and have bella sat for the weekend. but my parents are still away, bens going away on a work trip this weekend and i can't ask him to not go, his parents are sick, his brothers out of town and all of my friends are headed off to the wedding if they're not already down there for the week." you explained with a small smile, picking at your pasta as your eyes were trained down to the bowl.

alessia didn't think before she spoke, but before she could pause to take a minute the words were already spilling out of her mouth.

"i could watch bella for the weekend?"

your eyes snapped upward at that, halting the pushing around of the bowl of pasta in your lap. "less i can't ask you to do that." you shook your head declining right away.

"you're not asking, i'm offering. you deserve a nice weekend away with your friends and weddings don't happen every day! i can tell you were looking forward to it." alessia assured as you sighed, moving your bowl onto the coffee table beside hers.

"less, baby really this is such a sweet offer but its not like dog sitting, having a five year old for a few hours is a huge challenge let alone a few days." you tried to put it as gently as you could but it didn't seem to deter the blonde in the slightest.

"i've babysat before and i've got little cousins. i know thats not the same but i pay attention, ask me anything about bella and i bet i could tell you!" the striker challenged, hand removed from your leg as she waved for you to start.

"alessia-" "go on babe, anything!"

knowing how stubborn the tall blonde could be you decided to placate her wishes with a sigh and a shake of your head as she crossed her arms against her chest and raised an eyebrow in waiting.

"bed time?" "eight on weekdays, eight thirty on weekends or if she's been at her dads or your parents because she needs time to settle down before she can sleep but never later than nine especially on a school night."

"night routine?" "it tires her out to help with making dinner or keeping herself occupied with something that isn't just tv before she eats. but dinner first and at the table, one episode of something, bath, her cup of tea which is really just warm milk with a spoon of honey in it, book, bed."

"favourite foods?" "anything with carbs, nothing thats orange, no soda's from a can but its fine from the soda stream. she'll eat broccoli if the stalks trimmed but not if it isn't, she will only eat peas if they're seperate from everything else on her plate. she smothers everything in tomato sauce so you have to pour it for her or else she drowns the meal, she claims not to like cheese but if you hide it in something she doesn't notice."

alessia grinned happily at the look of shock and surprise which you made no move to hide at her answers, nailing every single one as she waved for you to continue and your eyes narrowed slightly.

"allergies?" "latex and peanuts, there’s an epipen in bella’s backpack and in your cupboard under the sink and in the bathroom vanity just in case. she doesn't have asthma but you carry a puffer around because when the seasons change and the airs a bit full of dust or pollen she can get random coughing fits."

your eyebrows shot up again as alessia's grin softened into a smile, reaching out for your hands in her own.

"i also know first aid, cpr, all the emergency numbers, you keep your parents numbers and bens parents numbers on a little card on the fridge. i know that the easiest way to calm her down if she's having big feelings is to rationalize them but not patronize her because she likes to feel cared for but she's quite independent. the easiest way to get her to eat if she claims she isn't hungry is to feed the monster in her tummy who she's called frankie, she cannot go anywhere without harvey and she always sleeps in one of your shirts even though she has pyjamas of her own." alessia rattled off flawlessly without missing a beat as you sat shell shocked into silence.

"how did you-" "i told you, i pay attention." alessia promised with a soft smile, squeezing your hands as her rings felt cold against your warm skin. "i know this is a lot but your friends babysit her too right? we're...friends. it wouldn't need to be anything more than that to her." alessia spoke a little more unsure now as you nodded to reassure her she was right.

"well you're very impressive superstar, just…give me a day to think it all over."

[ashwhowrites]

Older Eddie (like maybe 5-10 years) finds out you’re pregnant and he leaves because he said he wants to live a life without fear of dragging a kid down. He comes back before reader has the baby and wants to be involved and the reader struggles to let him be and you pick the ending!

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Runaway daddy

Eddie had the mentality of never growing up since he was a teenager. He didn't want to work until he died, a girlfriend was cool but marriage was too much of a commitment, and he did not want to be held down by a family.

His parents left him behind, and he was raised by Wayne. Wayne seemed fine never having his own kid and Eddie asked him about it. Wayne said it was easier to be alone and not suffer from the thought of being a horrible husband and father. Eddie understood that and he lived by it.

Then he made the mistake of falling in love. Her name was Y/N; she was younger, smart, and beautiful. She brought new emotions to Eddie's world and spun him all over the place. He tried to fight it at first, pushing her away and never letting her get close enough to change him. But she fought back and was determined that she could make him fall in love, and he did.

He was smitten by her. He worshipped the ground she walked on and felt safe in her embrace. She took care of him in a way he craved his whole life. She was the first person to make him feel loved. And that whenever she looked at him, he felt worthy to be standing in front of her.

Eddie should have known it would all come crashing down. Nothing good lasts forever and why would he be an exception? He was lucky enough to be loved by her for the past three years, he wasn't going to be lucky for the rest of his life.

It all crashed on top of him when he found the test in the trash. It was buried, clearly meant to stay hidden. It wasn't like he tried to find it, he was taking out the trash and dumped it. The test landed facing up and he felt everything in his body freeze, his heart, his blood, hell even his soul. He broke out into a nervous sweat and closed the trash bin.

He went back inside, quickly racing to the bathroom again with the trash in his hand. He went over to the sink and splashed cold water on his face, but nothing settled the anxiety he felt in his stomach. He prayed it was a false positive and that's why she hadn't mentioned it. He hoped there would be some type of miracle.

~~~

A week passed and he barely got any sleep. He held her in his arms as she slept peacefully, but his stomach turned as he thought about a baby growing in hers. He didn't want a baby, he couldn't be a father. How did it even happen? He did everything in his power to have safe sex just so this wouldn't happen.

He sighed as he got home from work, he swore he was losing hair from all the stress.

"Hey baby, dinner is about finished," she greeted as he walked into the kitchen. Eddie looked around the kitchen, the table was set with candles and flowers. It was a romantic sight, but he feared what it meant.

He was silent as he sat down at the table, smiling as she placed a plate in front of him. He felt like he could puke at any second but he tried his best to pick at his food.

"So, I have some news for you," she said, her smile was so big. She looked so damn happy and excited, she wanted this. "I took a test a week ago but I wanted to confirm before I said anything. But I went to the doctor today and I'm pregnant!" She beamed as the words left her lips. A bright light in her eyes that he had never seen before. Her hands landed on his as she waited for his response.

He gulped as he felt the need to puke but choked it down. He slipped his hand out from hers, and her face fell slightly. But she recovered quick and placed her hands on his again.

"It's okay to be scared, we'll be scared together,"

"I don't know how to say this gently, but I don't want a baby," he admitted

He felt horrible as he watched her face fall and tears immediately filled her eyes.

"What?" she whispered, her voice cracking. This time she removed her hands from his.

"I'm not ready! I mean we aren't even married!" Eddie panicked, standing up from his chair

"Who's fault is that? It's been three years, Eddie! I would marry you in a second, baby or not" Y/N replied, keeping her calm as he paced around the room.

"We are not having this baby" Eddie scoffed, shaking his head as he placed his hands on the chair, leaning over it.

"Excuse me?"

"I can't be a dad, Y/N. I know I can't and I don't want to be. I love you more than anything, I'm sorry but I'm not doing this" Eddie explained, his eyes apologetic as she sniffled.

"Doing this? You're sorry that you refuse to have a family with me?" Y/N snapped, standing up.

"It's nothing personal! I don't want a baby with anybody" Eddie defended, she came toe to toe with him.

"So where does that leave us? Because I'm having this baby" She declared through clenched teeth

"Then I'm leaving" Eddie threatened. He didn't want to break up or leave her. But he didn't want to have a kid, someone he could disappoint and ruin, someone he would drag down.

Eddie watched as anger filled her eyes, a slight light of hatred that made his body quiver. Maybe he should have been honest that he was scared. And maybe he should have given himself a chance before immediately turning to walk away.

"Well, I guess it is a good thing we aren't married, because once you walk out that door, fucking leaving me and your baby behind just like your scum of a father, you have no reason to ever show your face again. Now get the hell out!" She yelled, tears flying down her face as she raced to the bathroom.

Eddie sighed as he heard the door slam and the echo of her sobs bouncing off the walls. He stood there for a few minutes, trying to think if walking away was what he wanted. There still might be something left to save, all he had to do was knock on the bathroom door.

He took a deep breath and began walking down the hallway. He stopped once he hit the bathroom, his hand softly touched the doorknob. Then a static of electricity burned his fingers, he hissed as he pulled back.

He was a coward so he took it as a sign. He passed by the door and into the bedroom, packing up his part of her life.

~~~

The first few weeks without Eddie were more painful than Y/N imagined. There were so many moments she wished he was there. When she got morning sickness, she wanted him to rub her back and tell her it was okay. But the cold floor of the bathroom reminded her she was on her own.

Her bed was empty, but his body was still formed on the sheets. This was supposed to be their home, this was where she wanted their kids to grow up. In a way, she got what she wanted but she didn't think she'd lose him because of it.

She wanted to blame herself. They had been together for years and it was her mistake to never ask questions about marriage and children. If she was smarter then she wouldn't have been so torn apart now.

The more she was alone, the stronger she became. Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months. Eddie was still long gone and she had no idea where he ran to, half of her cared and wanted to call. But she already hurt herself enough and didn't want to beg a man to come back to her. And she didn't want to use her baby as a reason.

She did everything she could to be prepared. She read books and took classes. Her anxiety and fear started to wash away, excitement took over and she found herself finally being happy.

Eddie couldn't say the same. He heard in movies and books that the whole world changes once love is taken away. He couldn't believe that was right. But he did because he was alone in Wayne's trailer hating himself as each minute passed.

He chose this, he knew. He put himself in hell because he was afraid of something new. He was scared of that commitment to her and to the baby. It killed him to know he was just like his father. He spent years hating that man, wondering how a child could be so terrifying that running was the only option. He wondered why he couldn't just stay and learn a family is nothing to be scared about. He knew his father wouldn't have the answers because Eddie had none.

It was selfish, point blank. Instead of taking responsibility, he left her to deal with it all alone. He thought of calling, begging for forgiveness, begging for her. But he wasn't sure if that's what she wanted. She seemed to hate him when he left, and he didn't blame her. He didn't want to cause her more hurt by showing back up at her door. He wished he knew what she wanted.

Once a month passed, Eddie couldn't keep running away. He missed her and he hated being without her. He talked himself up as he reached for the phone.

He dialed the familiar number and listened as it rang.

"Hello?"

Eddie felt nervous once he heard her voice

"Hey, it's Eddie. Can we talk?" He asked if she said no, he'd move on. But he wanted at least one last fighting chance.

"About what, Eddie?" He could tell by her voice she was irritated

"Can I come over?" said

~

Eddie nervously knocked on the door, offering a small smile once she came into view. She stepped aside and let him walk in.

They sat in silence on the couch for a few moments before he got the nerve to speak.

"I want to start with that I am so sorry," he turned his body to face hers but she looked down at her lap. "I'm sorry for the fight, the words I said, the pain I caused, and for leaving."

"Did it solve anything?" she asked, looking towards him. "Did leaving and running away take away the fear and responsibility? Did you get to relax this last month because you knew your part was over?" Her voice got more snappish as she spoke.

"It solved nothing, and I will admit that. I felt horrible for just leaving and feel even worse knowing I was prepared to do exactly what my dad did. I don't want to be him and I don't want to be alone like Waybe. Baby," he said softly, his warm hand holding hers, "I love you, and being with you has taught me that even when I'm scared, you are with me. I won't be alone, I'll have you. I know I made a mess of everything and ruined something so special. I hate that I took that excitement away. But I want to do this, I want to be a dad to our baby."

Y/N bit her lip as she thought. She wasn't sure she wanted Eddie to be involved with her, but their baby was a different story. Their baby deserved to have them both. She slipped her hand out of his and held it herself.

"I'll give you another chance to be a dad. But I'm not ready to give you another chance at being my boyfriend. This month away was hard, and I needed you here. I want to be with someone who would be there no matter what, and I don't think that is you." she explained.

"You don't want to get back together?" Eddie choked out, he could feel his eyes tearing up.

"As of right now, no Eddie."

"I understand," and he did. It sucked and upset him, but he was the reason.

"But we will co-parent and our baby is our only focus right now," Y/N said

"I can do that," he said, "We're going to have a baby!" he cheered, a real smile on his face.

He was scared, but he knew it would be okay.

"I'm scared too, but we got this," she said wrapping her arms around Eddie into a hug. He hugged her back and melted in the comfort of her arms.

The baby was the main focus now, but getting her back was right behind.

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlx @ineedmentalhelp123

[nerdy-novelist017]

omg i love ur writing sm✨🩷💋

do u think u could write sumthin like benny coming home to finding u snuggled up on the couch in one of his huge shirts?????

Thank you for this super sweet request, Anon! Sorry I've been taking forever to get around to the requests, but I'm trying to get back into the routine of working on them a little bit every day. Hope you enjoy!

Benny x Bunny Masterlist

Word Count- 1.1k+

T-Shirts (Benny Cross x Shy! Reader)

Benny cursed under his breath as he stumbled over the threshold of the front door. He’d been out with the Vandals, not an actual meeting, just a night out with a few of the main members. He’d invited you as he always did, but you declined. You had told him that you wanted to have some alone time after a long day at work. He understood – girls needed their ‘me time’ to pamper themselves or whatever, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to miss you. You were sometimes all consuming to him, his thoughts almost always ran back to you. Johnny and the boys could see it, anyone that really knew Benny (few as they were) knew he was completely infatuated with you. He was drunk off your touch, your voice, your smile. How could he be separated from you for long? So as the night progressed and he accepted more whiskeys being slid in his direction, his thoughts of you became more hazy, more melancholic and finally Johnny took pity on him and told him to go home. 

The slight buzz from the beers he had early did not mix well with the lack of lights. Usually, you left on the front porch light for him when you knew he would be out late and you were going to bed early. But it wasn’t the case tonight he realized as all the lights in the main level of your house were turned off. As he tossed his bike keys onto the entryway table and flipped on a light, he wondered briefly in his intoxicated mind if you were upset with him and this was your passive aggressive way of punishing him for staying out late, but that theory quickly diminished when he caught sight of the couch. At first glance, it looked like just a pile of throw blankets, but he was convinced he could spot your familiar form no matter how much light there was in the room. 

He slipped out of his boots and jacket, standing there for a moment longer in appreciation. A lovestruck smile overtook his face at the view of you curled into your side, that yellow blanket with white flowers (one you had begged him to buy when you first moved in together, stating that it was the perfect piece to pull the room together. He honestly couldn’t have cared less about the living room or its decor, but the smile on your face when he put it in the shopping cart made it suddenly the most important detail.) pulled over your body, a forgotten book laying face down on your chest – a clear indication that you had once again fallen asleep while reading. Your mouth slightly agape, your features looked so soft and girlish that it took Benny’s breath away knowing you were his. Even though he saw some incredible sunrises, sunsets and starry nights when he went riding, you were without a doubt the most beautiful sight he got to come home to. 

Unable to restrain himself any longer, he crossed the room, stooping to trace a hand across your face, brushing the tousled hair from your eyes. With his other hand, he looped his fingers through the spine of your novel, making sure to save your page mark as he placed it on the coffee table. His left hand moved beneath your knees and his right supported your back as he effortlessly lifted you into his embrace. That’s when he realized you were wearing one of his shirts, the white material clearly oversized on your small figure. He didn’t know a simple white t-shirt had the ability to be sexy, but clearly he shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was because you had the talent to make just about anything look painfully arousing on you. And nothing at all. And to make matters even harder for Benny, he knew it wasn't your intention when you put on his shirt to look sexy, you probably weren’t even aware of the effects of your body in that damn oversized t-shirt and the way it clung to your chest as he lifted you, nor the way it molded around your hips. You were certainly not aware of the sudden twitch in his pants because of the way the garment just seemed to make you look even more of the little bunny that stole his heart. 

“Benny?” your muffled, half asleep voice hit his ears like the sweetest melody as you snuggled into his chest. 

“Stealin’ my clothes, Bunny?” he teased and you sunk further into his embrace, not quite awake enough to catch his playfulness. He carried you up to your bedroom, using his foot to kick the door shut behind him. He placed you gently on your side of the bed and almost laughed as you tugged him back down to you for a messy kiss. 

“I like the way it smells like you,” you admitted as you rubbed your eyes, the action pulling on Benny’s heartstrings. 

“You may have to keep it. Looks better on you,” he smiled as he stepped back to change into something more comfortable. 

“Whatever you say, Cross.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, your words slurring together. “I tried waitin’ up for you. Did ‘ya have a good time?”

“Go back to sleep, Bunny,” he coaxed gently, smiling as your blinks were growing longer by the second. That was always something you wanted to do: you liked to lay in bed and talk about your days if they happened to be spent apart. You encouraged him to talk more than he’s ever talked in his life. Sometimes he felt as though your chattiness was rubbing off on him, but you never interrupted nor discouraged him from expressing his thoughts. He loved you more for that. “There’s plenty of time to talk about it tomorrow.”

“M’kay, come lay with me?” you asked and Benny scoffed because was that even a request you needed to make? He was drawn to you like a moth to flame, he couldn’t resist having a hand on you while he slept. It was like some instinctual urge projecting him to keep you near, to keep you safe, even while he was floating in the realm of sleep. 

He shook his head as you muttered a final incoherent sentence into the side of your pillow, eyes falling shut again. He crawled into bed behind you, slipping his hand around your waist and pulling you flush against his body as he pulled the blankets over the two of you. A soft, content sigh escaped you, and Benny looped his hand into yours, pulling it up to his lips in a soft kiss as he whispered “I love you, Bunny.”

-Tag List-

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[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine meeting Rob Lucci again on Egghead Island

Warning: Contains spoilers! If you aren't caught up in the Egghead arc and don't want spoilers, don't read.

Rob: [tied up and unconscious on the floor of Vegapunk's lab]

You: [glaring at him from the other side of the room]

Stussy: Oh my, that's quite a scary look. It's almost like you know him.

You: I do know him, or at least I thought I did... A little over two years ago I lived on Water 7 where I worked for an engineering firm, and had a life, and a boyfriend.

Stussy: {looks shocked and points at Rob] Was he your boyfriend?

You: Yup, but I got transferred here shortly before he tried to kill Iceberg, who is my adoptive father. We used to exchange letters, and then one day they just stopped, and then three weeks later I got a letter from Iceberg that explained everything.

Stussy: That must have come as quite a shock.

Kaku: [wakes up] what the? [looks around, before cringing away when he notices you] oh dear.

You: [glares] Is that all you have to say to me?

Kaku: Listen, it was just a job, it wasn't personal.

You: Really? Because trying to murder members of my family feels really personal to me, buddy.

Kaku: [Nods to Robin] Technically, she shot Iceberg.

Robin: I shot him the first time, and I didn't feel I had another choice because you were threatening my friends and I didn't know what to do.

You: The second time was Blueno, and then you and Rob beat Paulie, and then left both Iceburg and Paulie tied up inside a burning building!

Kaku: we did do that, didn't we...

You: not to mention Rob played with my feelings by pretending to be a loving boyfriend.

Kaku: I swear that wasn't pretended Lucci really does love~

Rob: That's enough, Kaku.

You: You can talk! Why am I surprised, everything was a lie, wasn't it?

Rob: .... not everything [looks up at you, clearly pouting that he's being admonished]

You: I don't believe you.

Rob: ... can we discuss this in private, please?

You: no, we can't, I do not want to be alone with the World Noble's attack dog.

Rob: I'm a cat.

You: Excuse me?

Rob: I am a Zoan-type devil fruit user, the Neko Neko no Mi, Model: Leopard, specifically.

You: I don't care, because then you're just plain bad at being a cat.

Rob: Bad at being a cat!

You: yes, because if you knew a damn thing about cats, then you'd know you don't ever actually own a cat, you just live with one. They don't listen, they don't obey, and they most certainly don't respect you. So, I suppose, you were good at being a cat when it came to me, but bad when it comes to the world nobles.

Rob: That's not true...

You: save it, I don't want to hear your excuses.

Rob: [Takes a deep breath] They're not excuses, it's true I got close to you in the first place because of Iceberg, but I grew genuine feelings for you once I got to know you. I know I hurt you, it's why I stopped writing you after what happened in Water 7.

Nami: And because his ego was bruised because our captain whooped his ass.

Kaku: He was also in a coma for like a week afterward.

Rob: I figured by then you would have already had word from Water 7 of what happened, so I didn't want to rub salt into the wounds by trying to stay in your life, and that a clean cut was best for you.

You: [remembering that Iceberg had said he wouldn't be upset with you if you elected to stay with Rob] ... Where is Hattori?

Rob: what?

You: Where is Hattori?

Rob: He flew away when Stussy attacked.

You: I'll go get him...

Rob: [smirks[ thank you, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you again. Although he might not recognize you, you've glowed up since your Water 7 days. [winks]

You: [rolls your eyes] I know single life suits me, so save your smooth talk tough guy, it doesn't work on me [lying].

Rob: uh huh

You: [feels your cheeks heat up as your heart flutters, and you avoid eye contact with Lucci] Whatever, I'll go look for your bloody bird.

Rob: [eagerly watches the door slide shut behind you] It's still there

Stussy: What's still there?

Rob: I believe most people call it, "a spark between us'.

Nami: [dramatically gags]

Kaku: Dude, they always liked Hattori more than you, don't go getting a head of yourself.

Rob: [kicks him] zip it.

Stussy: [sighs] men are so stupid.

Robin: [nods in agreement]

Shaka: [judges in silence]

List of Up-and-coming works || Master list || Twitter| Kofi || Patreon

[blueparadis]

How does first kiss with sugishita feels like? (Feel free to include other characters)

gn!reader. fluff, sharing firsts, lipstick marks, slightly suggestive content.

SUGISHITA KYOTARO — You try your best to gather the courage to text him or call him or meet him but none of that works because you still go warm and dizzy remembering how his lips felt against your cheek and what would happen if he were to put his lips on yours. You don’t wanna think about it. But not thinking about it is actually thinking about it. I's frustrating, really. As for Sugishita, he is spending more time helping out Umemiya-san with his gardening. Even if a day's work is already complete he ends up insisting on helping him more since if he sits one moment idle either he will think about the kiss or you will haunt him in his dreams. Both are too much. He can not take that much of you at once. He wants you in small doses at least he will last longer that way rather than feeling his heart going to explode any minute now.

UMEMIYA HAJIME — “One more,” Umemiya whispers inclining more towards you.

“What?” surprise swept your bashfulness away.

“That wasn't enough,” Umemiya says as he walks away to the exit door of the classroom checking if anyone's coming or not because he is sure he heard footsteps. He tilts his head towards you asking, “Do you wanna go to the rooftop?” with a big grin and the next thing you do is grab your things and walk out of the classroom prompting quickly, “will text you when I get home.” it was too much for you to bear. it was just a kiss, on his cheek; it was just a graze at best. maybe that's why he wanted more . . .? Ah! that's what he meant by “one more,” HA! Silly you.

SAKURA HARUKA —Sakura has the most unexpected reaction when you kiss him for the first time. You stand on your toe to kiss him and when you are done he is still holding you. you are so up close to him, to his face but he does not blush a bit. He is comfortable being near you. His “romantic radar,” as put by Suo had already had an idea of your feelings for him so he is giving his time to you. Gently he whispers, “Had your fill?”. You just tilt your head thinking what else you can do, what else you would want to do, him tangling with your fingers playing with it till Nieri knocks on the door letting you know that someone is coming. And, then both of you spend a whole week thinking and blushing, thinking and regretting, thinking and dying out of embarrassment like a fuse.

SUO HAYATO — Believe it or not, he is uptight about it. No kissing on the school campus yet you manage to make him kiss you. isn't that crazy? dissolving his boundaries into nothing but after all that hard work all you get is a kiss on the forehead. you are sure that it wasn't your expectations that were high but his self-control sure is. While you spend the weekend being pouty about it, Suo just can't wait to get you alone. The things he wants to do to you can only be possible at a certain stage of a relationship and he just started going out with you. He still feels he is just testing the waters but holy heavens you sure are hard to resist. You can be all pouty you want now and he will surely baby you for that but what's this? turns out he just ordered a takeout with your address. It's a mini-cake; his text message says, “thought your anger would go if you eat something I made . . .”

TSUBAKINO TASUKU — The whole world knows that Tsubaki kissed you. They can see it. You can see it too now that you are standing in front of the green room of the pub. Lipstick marks all over your face: forehead, cheeks, one corner of your lips, down your neck and then it ends, just right above your chest. You wonder how it'll look if he had gone further but a buzzing phone gets your attention. It's Tsubaki-chan.

You accept the call but it's just silence. . . and breathing.

“Hey, what's up?”

Clearly, you didn't think this through. You just saw him minutes ago and that's what you ask? “hey, what's up?”

“nothing just checking on you.” You laugh.

“what? What's so funny?”

“hey tsubaki i don't wanna wipe these marks off.”

“well, then don't.”

you hang up immediately and get out of the green room to join the dancing crowd as you see Tsubaki already waiting for you there. The whole world is drunk on booze anyway. They will forget it soon but you two won't. You two will cherish this moment forever.

[mudstoneabyss]

please they need to let me interview them please my casual daydream fantasies have shifted to just thinking about if i got that opportunity somehow

I should be allowed to interview brinknor over this one I have to know just what was going through their minds to end up here

[mrsjellymunson]

Start Something

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: Eddie helps you generate a new D&D character, but that’s not the only thing that gets started that day

WC: ~2.5k

C/W: 18+, MDNI! NSFW? Physical flirting and teasing, heavy petting, sort of in public (nobody notices). Smut-adjacent? Thigh riding. Swearing. Nothing overly explicit, but it does get heated. Eddie and reader are both over 18. Trope: oh no, there aren’t enough seats, where will you sit? No y/n, one pet name. No physical descriptions of reader other than she wears a skirt (of unspecified appearance).

A/N: Should I be working on parts for my outstanding series? Yes. Would this not leave me alone until I wrote it down? Also yes. I had fun creating a new character in a different RPG and I have no idea whether this is how D&D works, so if it’s not, let’s just pretend, okay? 😆 Text dividers by @strangergraphics Dice dividers by me 🫣☺️

I have a general taglist now, let me know if you’d like to be on it 🖤

My masterlist

Eddie can’t believe his luck. You’re pretty (gorgeous, actually), insanely intelligent and have, for some as yet indecipherable reason, decided that you want to play D&D. With a load of nerdy teens. And him.

You’ve joined in with a couple of short campaigns at school, seeming to enjoy them immensely and fitting in well with the group, bantering with the boys and bonding with Erica over your shared ‘take no shit’ attitudes. At first Eddie wasn't sure how that dynamic would work, but you slipped easily into letting the younger girl show you the ropes, and Erica is clearly enjoying having more female energy around.

Eddie knows that creating a new character is one of your favourite things to do. He’d never admit it, but it’s one of his favourite things to watch, too. He adores the sparkle in your eyes, your creative brain and how excited and animated you get when you come up with new ideas. Sometimes they’re sketchy, or even impossible, which he finds hugely endearing. He also loves how you’ll always check in with him, asking his advice and respecting his opinion.

This weekend he’s running a oneshot at his trailer for the younger members and you. New characters, novel plot, the works. The plan is to create new characters in the morning, and play the game in the afternoon.

This’ll be the first time you’ve been to his home, or seen him anywhere outside of school, and Eddie’s nervous as all fuck.

He couched it as ‘a good opportunity to develop a greater understanding of the game’, but he definitely has an ulterior motive for inviting you here.

So far, he’s taken every opportunity he can to make you laugh, sit near you, even touch you. Creating scenarios where a subtle hug, or even a playful tickle is somehow appropriate. He covers it quickly by immediately doing it to someone else, hoping you won’t spot the bulge in his pants and the fact that he can’t stop looking at you.

He’s not sure for how long he can keep it up. He wants so much more, and it won’t be long before he either loses it, takes it too far, or, worst case scenario, you notice he’s being a total creep and ditch the group because of it.

He’s been trying to muster the balls to ask you out for weeks, practicing lines and imagining scenarios, but he’s found it more difficult to plan than even the most complex of his campaigns.

And although it’s unlikely given the crowd of nerds that’ll be around, he couldn’t miss an opportunity to be in your company. He thought that maybe, just maybe, he’d manage to get you somewhat alone and do it today.

He’s tidied up the trailer as subtly as he can, doing all the dishes and straightening Wayne’s caps, hoping the others won’t notice and ask him awkward questions. But he’s jittery and anxious, terrified that you’ll take one look at where and how he lives and decide you want nothing more to do with him…

Eddie has no idea that you’re just as nervous as he is.

You’ve enjoyed the Hellfire campaigns so far, but haven’t really managed to get all that close to the Dungeon Master, much to your chagrin. Sure, the game is enormous fun and you love all the members and how welcoming they’ve been. But the DM? Holy hell, he’s hot as sin, and being able to spend time around the larger-than-life metal-lover only adds to your enjoyment of the sessions. But you can’t imagine it’ll ever go any further than that. You doubt that a geeky D&D novice who he’s hardly spoken to is his idea of the perfect girlfriend…

But god, the physical touches? Christ. It’s as much as you can do to hold it together. You’ve shared a few celebratory hugs, and he’s even tickled you a couple of times, all of which you’ve enjoyed far more than you’d let on, and filed away in your memory for retrieval when you’re alone at night in your bed. But you know that he’s like this with everyone, and are under no illusions that you’re special. So you relish each and every contact, wishing there could be more.

What if he looks at you for too long with those gorgeous, huge, chocolate-brown eyes? And what if you forget how to speak? It’s already happened an embarrassing amount of times, but you’ve managed to pass it off as being stumped because you’re a beginner. You don’t know for how much longer that excuse is gonna fly.

And, if all that wasn’t already enough to send your anxiety levels skyrocketing, you’re also acutely aware that you haven't spent time with any of the group outside of school as yet. You’re worried that you’re going to ruin their social dynamic, or mess up the game. Or embarrass yourself with no easy way to exit, having to wallow in your shame until the mums come back later to pick you all up. Your spiralling makes you realise that although it was really kind of Mrs Wheeler to offer you a lift, you’re now really wishing you’d brought your own car…

All kinds of anxious thoughts are running through your mind, from what if your ideas are stupid, to what if everyone (okay, specifically Eddie) dislikes the cookies you’ve baked??

Neither of you should’ve worried.

As you enter his trailer, Eddie seems a little flustered, running a ringed hand through his gorgeous chestnut waves and unnecessarily straightening a pile of magazines on the coffee table. He smooths down his (new) black tee (that he totally didn’t buy especially for this occasion), and you pay it no mind, assuming he’s just always like this with visitors, and is excited for the campaign.

You barely glance around Eddie’s home, smiling softly at the trinkets you spot, and offering to help plate up the snacks in the kitchen area. You don’t look uncomfortable, and you certainly don’t pass judgment. Eddie eyes you as indirectly as he can, noticing the unusual skirt you’ve got on (that you totally totally didn’t choose specifically for today). He likes it.

Just like at school, you slot easily into the melee of pencils, paper, dice and snacks. Everyone loves your home baked cookies, including Eddie, and Erica even badgers you for the recipe.

Eddie thinks you couldn’t be any more perfect.

You think this isn’t so bad after all, and relax a little.

The morning’s character building is going well, the fact that it’s a oneshot not diminishing anyone’s efforts or attention to detail.

You still haven’t quite got the hang of the dice and numbers parts, always asking for Eddie’s help with that. His help, not any of the others, he muses with a certain amount of pride and delight. (Selfishly, part of him secretly hopes you never get the hang of it, and will always need to seek his input.)

With you now added to the group, there aren’t enough seats at Eddie’s modest dining table. Nobody notices. Initially Dustin and Will are deep in a discussion on Eddie’s battered sofa, and Mike and Lucas are rifling through the fridge, both at that ‘hollow legs’ stage of teen development and constantly ravenous.

Your character’s almost done, and you just want to clarify a few things, so you ask across the table,

“Eddie? Can I bring this over for you to check please?”

He waves you over, putting on a fake English accent and saying,

“Of course you may, my dear. You know I’m always happy to assist my flock.”

You chuckle lightly at his endearing foolishness as you get up from your place next to Erica, taking your character sheet over to Eddie for his perusal. Behind you, the younger players all convene at the table to share their progress, and all the seats become filled.

With no free spots near him, and assuming you won’t be here for long, Eddie pats his leg absentmindedly and says, “Sit here, lemme see.”

You end up on his lap, facing sideways at ninety degrees.

You initially turn towards him and bring your sheet between you, but there’s not enough room for him to properly examine it, so you turn the other way and lay it on the table in front of him, turning so your back is to him, your legs straddling one of his knees. He leans forward and begins to check it over, confirming some details and asking for more particulars on others.

Eddie’s been admiring your enthusiasm and level of engagement all morning, and he’s impressed by the depth of information you’ve already managed to accumulate.

You’re absorbed with your new character, getting excited and gesticulating wildly. Ideas bounce easily between you and Eddie, his face smiling softly and his dimples popping as he gets to see you like this.

It doesn’t escape him, however, that you’re also bouncing on… him. He flushes a little, and hopes you don’t perceive it.

As you gesture at a particularly thorny issue on your paper, it dawns on Eddie exactly what parts of you are in contact with him, albeit through multiple layers of fabric. The softness of your thighs and the heat from your core against his leg fully absorb him for a moment, and he has to ask you to repeat yourself. You don’t seem to mind, assuming it was the general clamour in the room that meant he couldn’t hear you. That same clamour covers the sound of him awkwardly clearing his throat and gulping loudly.

It occurs to him that he’s never experienced anything… like this. Occasional hookups in the woods or after gigs at The Hideout are great and everything, but he’s never before felt like he has a literal, real-life angel sitting on his lap.

And you? You are slowly realising how nice Eddie’s lap feels beneath you. It’s warm and solid, and the denim of his dark jeans feels pleasantly rough on the skin of your legs where your skirt’s ridden up. There’s a pressure against your most intimate areas that’s generating a warm feeling of pleasure in your core. You’re trying to concentrate, but it’s not easy.

It takes a few more moments for you to catch up to where Eddie is, and you register that you’re essentially riding Eddie’s thigh each time you move.

Your lips roll inwards and you swallow deeply, closing your eyes for a moment, trying to compose yourself. It doesn’t help, and only serves to focus your attention even more fully on the delicious sensations beneath your legs. This is the closest you’ve ever been to your Dungeon Master, and for the longest time. And you can’t help how flustered it’s making you.

Embarrassed, you cough and go to stand, but quickly see that there’s nowhere for you to go. Eddie scans the room and notices your predicament, and, in a broken voice that’s almost unbearably soft, tells you, “It’s okay, Princess. You can stay here.”

Fuck. A pet name? You enjoyed that, perhaps a little too much. If you were being rational you could put it down to Eddie referencing your new character, who happens to be an aristocratic mage. But right now? Right now, you’re not feeling particularly rational.

You slowly sit back down, but as you do so Eddie shifts his position, causing you to spread your knees a bit wider than they were and land further up his leg, giving you even more contact with his thigh. You hope he didn’t hear the broken little hum that escaped you.

Eddie leans forward and in a voice that’s far too quiet, and far too close to your ear, he asks, “Are you… okay?”

You can barely breathe, and all you can manage in response is a tiny, squeaked, “Mhm.”

Behind you, Eddie takes a stuttering breath in, letting it out slowly before he resumes discussions with everyone else at the table.

You each become more unfettered as the morning progresses. Further not-so-accidental encounters only serve to increase the tension between you both.

At one point, you lean forwards over the table to get one of the manuals, lifting your butt from his leg. For a moment you hope there won’t be a visible wet patch on your skirt, or on his jeans. But then you wonder whether it would actually be so terrible if there was, and whether it would actually be so terrible if Eddie saw…

Eddie saw. He hums slightly, but it sounds more like a whimper, and he attempts to cover it by clearing his throat for the umpteenth time today.

He wonders whether you’re doing this on purpose, whether you have any idea what you’re doing to him.

As you settle back onto his thigh, one of Eddie’s hands travels to your hip, holding it lightly, just resting it there. A fire travels up that entire side of your body.

You wonder whether he’s doing this on purpose, whether he has any idea what he’s doing to you.

He leans forward to reach for something on the table, and this time brushes his chest against your back for far longer than is necessary. You feel his breathing against your neck speeding up, hot gasps coming from between his lips instead of controlled outbreaths through his nose.

You reach for a die, and as you sit back you half-intentionally push your core down onto Eddie’s leg just a little bit harder. God, he feels so good. And so what if you’ve moved backwards slightly, so your thigh is even further between his legs, and your butt nudges his crotch?

You definitely feel something hard pressing against your ass. The grip on your hip tightens, and Eddie dips his head forward to hide his face and stifle a moan. Christ.

You think you hear him mumble a quiet and stilted, “Sh-it.”

Eddie can barely contain himself, this morning not going at all how he could’ve even dreamed. He had no idea whether you even liked him, and was planning to sound you out and maybe manage to ask if you wanted to do something cheesy like grab milkshakes sometime.

Having you hot and wet on his lap wasn’t even on the edges of the outside of the periphery of his radar. He’s really trying to keep it together, but he’s barely maintaining a grip on his actions.

Attempting to focus, he leans forward again to explain a character point. You turn your head and look into his eyes attentively, whilst simultaneously rocking your hips ever so subtly and chewing on the inside of your bottom lip.

All at once, something shifts. Something big.

Eddie holds your gaze for way too long. Or maybe you hold his.

Maybe it doesn’t matter anymore, as you both silently acknowledge that there’s way more going on here than simple D&D advice.

Simultaneously, you both come to realise that your affections are most definitely reciprocated.

Shit, he likes me.

Fuck, she likes me back.

And then, as your eyes are locked and he sees your pupils blow wide, Eddie loses that tenuous grip.

Suddenly, both of his hands come to your hips, and he presses his forehead against one of your shoulder blades. He grips you tightly and moves you back and forth against him, squeezing, pulling, pushing, dragging. He’s keeping his movements as tiny as possible so as not to rouse the attention of the group, but what he lacks in expansiveness he more than makes up for with strength and intensity.

You think this might genuinely be the most erotic thing you’ve ever done with your clothes on. You’re hot and wet, and you barely care that you’re in a room full of people, supposedly playing a nerdy game.

Eddie keeps moving you. One exquisite movement spreads your sopping folds in your underwear, and your mouth drops open in a gasp, hand gripping the edge of the rickety table. You try to disguise your movements by shoving the end of a pencil into your mouth and hunching over your paperwork.

Eddie totally notices, and stills you. His warm palms continue to press against your hips, his strong fingertips digging into your flesh. Instead of continuing the back and forth movements, he pulls you down as hard as he can onto his lap whilst outwardly retaining his composure, turning the garbled sounds coming from his throat into encouraging noises for the group.

The two of you can barely focus anymore. Eddie hasn’t let his hands travel anywhere above the tabletop, lest his actions be seen by the others, but if your expression is even half as flustered as Eddie’s is red, somebody is going to notice something. And soon.

You take a couple of deep, steadying breaths.

You’ve already completed your character, so you decide to do a faux check in with Eddie, asking, not entirely innocently,

“Eddie? Is there anything else you’d want me to… take off?”

Turning, you add, even less subtly,

“What should I do now, Master?”

Eddie’s face screws up and his jaw clenches, and you feel the rock of his hips as he bucks his hips up underneath you, pressing his hardness into your flesh and muffling a grunt into your shoulder.

His head snaps back up suddenly and his voice becomes clear and piercing, as he inhales quickly and declares to the room, waving a hand,

“Okay, lunchtime! Everybody out!! You guys need some fresh air and I need a break. I don’t wanna see you for at least an hour, and you’d better come back with pizza! Goddit?”

The teens comply, bustling out the door, a few of them eye-rolling and grumbling something about how this is almost like being at home with their parents.

They’re still leaving as Eddie moves his face so close to you that you can feel his breath in your hairline, and his soft, pink lips tickle the edge of your ear.

In a low, velvety voice, he murmurs, in a tone that’s somehow both challenging and pleading,

“Please Princess, turn around and say that to my face...”

You smirk, and reach behind you to pick up a D12.

With all the sultriness you can muster, you raise your eyebrows and indicate for him to take it. He opens his hand, and you place it down, the tips of your fingers lightly skimming the hot, damp skin of his palm.

Looking into his eyes again, you’re relieved to discover that your power of speech remains entirely intact, as you murmur, with more confidence than you thought you possessed,

“Okay, Master. How about this? You roll, and the result is how many kisses you have to give me...”

Eddie swallows and almost chokes, sitting up straight and gently lobbing the die across the mess of paper and writing implements. His chocolate eyes don’t leave yours as it rolls and comes to a stop in the centre crease of one of his manuals. He struggles with the internal conflict of never wanting to break your gaze and a deep desire to check the number.

He has no idea where the rest of today, let alone this, is going, and he’s grateful he has at least the next hour in which to find out. But he does know one thing:

He’s never been so desperate to roll a 12 in his entire fucking life.

Thanks so much for reading!

(This might become part of an anthology of D&D-related adventures - let me know if you’d like to see more!)

Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed this, it’s honestly like throwing breadcrumbs and roses for your writers 😃🥰

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[tiredandoptimistic]

I cannot stop thinking about the poem that comes up if you enter "Stanley" repeatedly and then click on "how he defeated me" a bunch (written out fully with analysis under the cut). I've never been a big Bill fan, but you can bet your ass I'm obsessed with Stan Pines, and I can't believe I never fully thought through the parallels between them.

"Stanley Pines, the common clown,

Always dragged his family down.

One mistake, disowned, denied.

Only thing to do was hide.

One way out: the open road.

Reinvent, retry, reload.

A girdle, eyepatch, father's fez,

'I'm a new man!' so he says.

Couldn't outrun life's regrets,

Just kept placing bigger bets.

Changed his haircut, switched hotels-

Truth is just whatever sells.

When you've lost track of your lies,

When the poison starts to rise,

When the walls are closing in,

When it's clear you cannot win,

When your actions make it worse,

When they see you as a curse,

Give the wheel one last spin,

Take your chips and go all in,

And Lucky Stan- the roll's on black,

He got his life and family back.

His big break, it finally came,

Redemption from a life of shame.

You really think you won the day.

You packed your bags and sailed away.

You think you left the past behind.

But trust me

I'm still on your mind"

Combine this with some of the other things Bill says in the pages leading up to the poem, (calling him "Bootleg Sixer," ranting about how Stan is useless and only defeated Bill by following Ford's plan, etc), and it makes me wonder if Bill ever really believed in his own schemes.

Bill clearly values and respects Ford while deriding Stan, and yet many of the things he criticizes about Stan are also true about himself ("always dragged his family down," "one mistake," "reinvent, retry, reload," "just kept placing bigger bets," hell, "truth is just whatever sells" feels like a direct parallel to "reality is an illusion). In my mind, this implies that on some level he believes that people like him and Stan are destined for misery, but he convinced himself that he'd be satisfied with power and chaos, something that Stan gave up for his family.

Stan is someone who functions like Bill on a surface level while being fundamentally different in ways Bill can't even comprehend. To Bill, it's unfair that Stan "got his life and family back" while he is still alone in the universe, because he can't get his head around the fact that Stan is just a better person who worked to make up for his failures and earn his redemption in a way Bill never did. It wasn't just "his big break," Stan didn't win a bet or something. He spent thirty years committing himself to being the protector of his family and rescuing his brother from the exile he caused, and all that love and effort paid off in the end. He genuinely gave a fuck while remaining goofy and brash. Stan didn't need to become like Ford in order to be worthy, and so he works as an example of how people like them can thrive. It's proof that Bill's chaos isn't inherently inferior, it's Bill himself who couldn't hack it. He can respect Ford as an ally or an adversary, that logic might be able to triumph over chaos; but Bill cannot stand that Stanley was able to beat him at his own game.

[kanmom51]

Jikook in bed - Part 1

I am pissed and in a not good way.

Worked over 4 hours writing this post, saved to drafts only for the whole damn thing to just disappear.

Did I mention I am pissed?

Cause I am.

Ok, let me take a breath and try to put down on paper my thoughts, hopefully I will remember some of them.  Sob sob.

Jikook in bed. 

Who would have thought that I would be writing a post about Jikook in bed? 

Please don't answer my rhetorical question, lol.

Who thought after the Jikook drought we got in 2023 that we would be getting this, eh?  And yet, here we are.  Me losing count of the number of posts I’ve already written about episodes 1 and 2 alone of Are you sure?! And I’m not done yet.  And another episode is coming today!!!

Did I mention just how overwhelmed I am?  In the very best way.  Well, other than being pissed at Tumblr for throwing away my hard work. 😭😭

I’ll be breaking this down into 2 parts because damn it, there is so much to say about these two short clips we get of the two in bed.  Both playful.  Both sus as shit.  If shit is sus – I guess we can ask JM on his thoughts about that – yes I did go there.  Poor man is not going to live this down, and now I understand why he kept asking if this could air – not because he was worried about their flirty handsy moments.  NOPE.  But because of the shit, lol.

Ok, so part 1 will be focusing on the brushing teeth in bed, while part 2 will focus on the handsy cuddly butt wacky master bedroom action.

When watching the whole brushing teeth in bed I had to ask myself a multiple why’s?

Why brush teeth in the bedroom? 

Or more so, why in that bedroom?

Why not in the bathroom?

Perhaps because we would see they are both using the master bedroom ensuite?

It’s not that we couldn’t deduce that from the footage, but that would take more looking into, which let’s be real, most army don’t do.  They watch it once or twice and many don’t pay attention to the details.  A lot of details need us to view the footage multiple times something that most army are not into – they don’t care to find out more.  They see the surface, JK and JM being cute, and that’s enough for them to say “oh, they are so brotherly…. Such brotherly love…” without wanting to see anything else.

But if you do look closer you see A LOT.

You see that JM does the tour of the house, showing us 4 bedrooms, first one being a master bedroom with a king size bed and an ensuite he shows us.

An ensuite we later see JK in while preparing to go out shopping.

So yes.  They were both using the same bathroom in that huge modern fancy house with 4 bedrooms and obviously more than one bathroom that happened to be the ensuite to the master bedroom.

And perhaps they didn’t want it to be too obvious.  Because why use that same bathroom? 

*side note: at this point, when JM goes to check on JK there is clearly a staff member in there with them. The way the camera moves the angle of filming changes, it's clear that is not a static camera, unlike the ones we got from the bedrooms and hallway at night and in the morning. It looks like the staff member is using JM's go pro to film that and as JM walks out of the bathroom the camera changes hands and JM has it. And I state this because most of the time there wasn't staff in the house with them. For a lot of the time they had the house to themselves. My educated guess would be that just like we saw they had control over the cameras in the house, could easily turn them on and off (JK with the hallway camera), they were the ones to decide when the staff can join them in the house to film or resume filming.

Another possible reason why we got the bedroom scene would be that they didn’t want to place a camera in the bathroom, which they obviously didn’t. I mean, that bathroom was rather small – you know, as ensuites usually are, and having them both stand there and brush their teeth would be cramped and uncomfortable (we saw that in Sapporo we did have them place that camera for us to see them brush their teeth side by side).  Also, obviously they wouldn’t want permanent cameras placed in the bathroom for privacy reasons – duh.  Even if they did have control over turning the cameras on and off. In Sapporo it’s clearly a camera they set up themselves, one they could just pick up and take away. They placed it there for the purpose of filming themselves brushing their teeth side by side. 

So basically, imo, this whole brushing teeth in the bedroom JK was supposedly sleeping in was a combination of it all.

They wanted us to see them brush their teeth prior to going to sleep.  They didn’t want us to see that they were sharing the ensuite bathroom (the bathroom connected to the room JM was sleeping in).

And the cherry to top it all is showing us this is where JK is going to spend the night.

Because that was somehow something they needed to show us.

Unlike the cabin with the one bed, that didn’t ‘allow’ for another option, the two spending the night in the same bed while there are another 3 lovely empty rooms available, would be too much perhaps.

You know, deniability and all. 

Makes even more sense seeing this was filmed in July 2023, and the two did not know just yet what lies ahead of them when it comes to their enlistment.

Let’s talk about that for a sec, why don’t we?

Those cameras in the house, they were placed ahead of time.  Before the two arrived.  I’m talking about the permanent cameras – the ones downstairs, the one in the hallway, the one in JK’s bedroom, the one in the master bedroom.

This was decided ahead of time – that they will not be sharing a bedroom.  Not on camera anyway. And this wasn’t their decision!

I don’t think that JM asking while standing in that room whether to sleep together with JK, adding a comment about getting hit was an actual contemplation on his part.  I think it was him signalling that it’s definitely an option and perhaps the reason why he won’t be is because of not wanting to get hit.  Him doing all of that when JK is there in the room with him (probably going through his luggage which was probably there too – we don’t get to see, but it makes sense seeing how small the other room was and the fact that JK was using the ensuite).  We also see JK throw something onto the bed – perhaps a heat pack he took out of that luggage?  But he’s there and they leave the room together shortly after.

"Should I sleep next to Jungkook tonight? Will he hit me again?"...

Again, let me be clear here with what I’m saying.  JM asking this was a mute question, and he knew it, seeing that they were both well aware of the fact that cameras were already placed in the two bedrooms expecting them not to be sharing that bed.  At least not on camera.

And you know where else you see that bemusement about the separate beds?

In the trailer where we get them in Sapporo the two standing in the hotel room JK asking JM which bed he wants to choose.  JM’s reaction super telling. 

And what about the house in Jeju?  Clearly that second bed was brought up from the room downstairs (we know that from the original layout of the house).  Yes, Tae was joining.  But wouldn’t that be less sus them sharing a bed?  We’ve seen them all share beds in previous content.  Tae literally shared one with his mates back in 2022.  I guess that the idea was to show us that when there is an option they won’t share a bed?  That the CT cabin was a ‘must’ as there was only one bed and there was no choice?  Strange, seeing that there were other options for cabins that were not 1 shared bed.  Well, never mind that.  In any case I guess there was need for the deniability, seeing as to how cozy those two were the next day in that one bed in the master bedroom. 

Seeing that plus knowing they shared a bed could be construed as too much perhaps.

Btw, you know what that whole scene in bed reminded me of?

Remember that time JK was asked what his favourite memory from their trip to Tokyo?

Remember his answer?

JM staying up until 5 am on his phone and sleeping in the next morning?

Sorry, but that constant smirk on JM's face... to die...

and

Yes Jeon. "He" didn't sleep at night. That's why both of you overslept the next day.

*Side note: at the end of the interview/sit down JM won a gift which guess who was given straight away?

Well, them in bed together there in CT, seeing those few seconds we were allowed to see (with the many cuts) – that is how I picture them in Tokyo on that trip.  Those calm almost boring moments in bed together.  On their phones.  Snuggling.  Playing.  Just enjoying being next to each other, just the two of them, outside world be damned. 

That is what JK loved most in Tokyo. That is what was most memorable to him (our introvert sweetie).

And he got that here as well.

You could argue: "what's the difference here from the two spending time together in bed in Seoul at either of their palaces?" And my answer to that would be:

EVERYTHING.

How can you even compare? Being back in Seoul, with all the playing around their schedules and stress and pressures and anxiety that still linger even when you are home, even when you are together with your loved one. You can't compare it to this. JM taking the time off to be with him. JK taking the couple of days off during his promotions for his first solo debut. Getting away from it all. Spending those 3 days together alone. No work. No stress. No pressure. Even with JK feeling physically off and JM's diarrhea. Just the two of them, away. Away from everything and everyone. Having those tiny every so important soft moments.

Or in layman's words: having a cuddle at home is not the same as having that cuddle when away, taking that time to spend together as a couple. It's just not the same. It's so much more. And that is also why it was so memorable for JK back in 2017.

I’m getting kind of emotional here folks.  Don’t mind me.

Let’s get back to the brushing teeth in bed, shall we?

Again, in the second bedroom and not the master, even though it’s the master ensuite they are using as a bathroom!!

Why not see them brush their teeth on the master bed?  Yeah, I think I answered that one already.  We weren’t supposed to deduct that JK was using the master ensuite.

We were to know that JK was sleeping in that room, we even got to see him go to sleep and wake up there.  It was very important that we see that.  Not make a mistake that maybe, just maybe, they spent the night together.

What do I think, you ask?  I will tell you, even if you didn’t ask, lol.

I think that JK probably did sleep in that bed for a bit.  A BIT.  Like a really really short bit.

I also think that they spent much time together in that one bed in the master bedroom.  They got the pre-sleep cuddles (that we didn’t get to see) and they got the post-sleep cuddles (that we also didn’t get to see – and I’ll get into that in the next post – just saying that JK walking into the room and out of it after he woke up – the first time he goes in and out – there was a HUGE chunk cut out of the footage).

Oh, and they got the post-JK eating crap for breakfast- cuddles too.

This isn’t going the way I wanted it to, lol.  I’m talking too much about stuff that is meant for part 2 of Jikook in bed.  You see, this is why it is all intertwined and if there wasn’t an issue with image limits or readers losing focus with too long posts this would all be one post.  But 'tis what 'tis and I have to stop talking about the master bedroom!!!

So, back to the toothbrushing.

This was them:

JK literally pulling JM down to lie on the bed.

The giggles (oh, what I want to say now and am holding myself back).

Their playfulness is on another level.

Add the legs over shoulder.

After JM laying his legs on JK's shoulders, JK grabbing the legs and pulling JM even closer in.

I love how with Jikook we live on moments that remind us of other moments. And this one kind of reminds me of another moment back from 2019 during rehearsal for the LY concerts, JM coming in behind JK to hold him and JK pulling JM's arm in for an even closer hug.

And we have cuts, of course.

So many of them.

Including this one.

And this one.

The cuts.  We should talk about them for a sec. 

There is hours and hours of footage, and obviously there are things that are deemed to end up on the editing room floor.  Footage that might be boring or irrelevant to whatever it is they want to be showing us.  There is also a time constrict that needs to be kept.  Understandably not everything can be left in.

But it’s some decisions that make you raise an eyebrow.  Some of those editing decisions that make you think – why cut this?  Why not leave the flow? 

And these moments are exactly those type of moments.

Obviously the fans will go crazy for seeing them be so playful and mucking around.  They are brushing their teeth and it’s clear this isn’t something that is going on for too long of a time.  So, why not allow us to see the FULL interaction?  I think we know the answer to that, don’t we?  Once again it’s those two being too much.  Too obvious.  Too handsy. Too couplie.

How exactly does JK end up with his back to us?

Why is he with his back to us?

Why is the whole scene with JM’s legs hanging over JK’s shoulders cut short?

And why does JK continue to be with his back to us after this has clearly ended and JM is sitting on the edge of the bed?

I kind of think that I know why JK was sitting with his back to us, and why it’s cut at that point and we never get to see them get out of that bed.

Great time to sign off.

See you for part 2 of Jikook in bed.

[edenesth]

The Way to His Heart [10]

Pairing: general!Seonghwa x wife!reader

AU: arranged marriage au (Joseon era)

Word Count: 4.5k

Trigger Warnings: graphic violence/torture, gore, implied mutilation

Summary: Life has been hell ever since your mother's passing many years ago. Despite being from a prominent family, you've never received the privileges associated with it. It only got worse with the arrival of your stepmother and her daughters. When the intimidating General Park was in search of a wife, your father seized the opportunity to dispose of you, simultaneously securing a connection with the powerful general—killing two birds with one stone.

Part 9 | Fic Masterlist | Part 11

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Wooyoung called out, entering the general's study with Jongho following closely behind, having been summoned to the estate.

Seonghwa looked up from his desk, "Ah yes, I heard you turned down the bonus incentive we offered. Why is that? Is there something else that you wish to have?"

Having encountered few who would refuse extra money, your husband found it hard to comprehend the private investigator's decision. Most people around him were usually drawn by the allure of his wealth or other associated benefits, which left him curious about Wooyoung's motives for declining the bonus. Surely, there was something specific he desired.

The younger man beamed, "My lord, I wasn't working so willingly for you because I wanted something more from you. Honestly, nothing makes me happier than being recognised by you! I just... okay, maybe there is one thing I really want."

Raising his brow, the general was not surprised by the sudden admission, "Go on, name it then."

With a cheeky grin, the investigator replied, "It's that you allow me to help you with whatever problems you have now!"

Your husband rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "What do you mean? I have no problems now; the worst is over."

"Really? Is that why you're here sulking alone instead of being with Lady Park? You clearly want to be near her, and yet, here you are, staying away from her because you haven't a clue how to face her after the traumatising ordeal you put her through yesterday."

That finally piqued Seonghwa's attention, prompting him to sit up straighter, though he attempted to maintain a nonchalant demeanour, "H-how did you figure that out?"

Without waiting for Wooyoung's response, he shook his head, "No, wait, actually, I don't want to know that. Just tell me... what should I do? I realise I haven't considered well enough what she went through, but I... I've never had to care for someone like this before, and I'm not really sure how to..."

The investigator offered an understanding smile, "My lord, the key to any relationship is communication. You need to talk to Lady Park. Ask her how she's feeling, and tell her you're sorry for what she went through. Avoiding each other won't solve anything; it will only create more distance between you two. You're her pillar of support now, and she needs to feel that you're there for her. You both deserve happiness, but it starts with open and honest communication."

Absorbing the advice, the general nodded thoughtfully, "You're right, Wooyoung. I appreciate your straightforwardness. I'll go talk to her and make things right."

Without hesitating, he sprang from his chair and made his way out of the study. The assistant and his friend couldn't contain their laughter, covering their mouths with their hands, but quickly composed themselves when Seonghwa glanced back at them, "Oh, and please, accept the bonus. You deserve it, especially after this."

Before Wooyoung could object, he had already exited the room and was rushing down the path toward the House of Lotus, his heart pounding at the thought of seeing his wife again.

He remembered how quiet you had been during the entire journey back home the day before, your gaze fixed on the passing scenery outside the window. While you weren't overtly distant or cold to him, you seemed lost in thought throughout dinner. You excused yourself early, retiring to your quarters. The atmosphere carried an unspoken tension, making him hesitant to say anything for fear of your potential reaction.

Reflecting on it, he realised he should have assured you that things would be better from that point forward. Rather than maintaining a facade of normalcy, he regretted not breaking the silence and being there for you in that moment of unease.

His steps hesitated, and his breath deepened as you finally appeared in his line of sight, seated alone in the pavilion outside your room. Your lady etiquette books lay open beside you, but the faraway look in your eyes remained glued to the horizon beyond the lotus pond. For a moment, he stood there, appreciating your beauty, suddenly feeling thankful you looked nothing like your father.

However, as soon as you turned your head slightly and noticed him standing by the entrance, he blinked rapidly, feeling flustered. Gathering his courage, he took a deep breath and approached you.

Just go talk to her, you fool.

Seeing him approach, you closed the books and made room for him to sit in the small pavilion. He offered a warm smile, "Hey, I hope I'm not bothering you or anything."

Shaking your head, you returned a small smile, "No, not at all. I tried to study, but I just... I couldn't."

As he settled down beside you, reaching for your hand, you didn't flinch or pull away. He released a relieved breath and moved closer, "It's alright, you don't have to force yourself. I know you're probably upset with me. I... I'm sorry, my dear."

Lifting your head to meet his eyes, you furrowed your brows, "What? Why would I be upset with you?"

He winced, wondering if you were intentionally testing him to see if he knew what he did wrong. But then again, he knew you would never do anything like that. Sighing, he admitted, "Look, I know I should've thought things through better yesterday. I was so focused on wanting to punish your family for what they did, I forgot about how horrible it must have been for you to go back there and sit through all of that."

"I acknowledge it was a mistake. My intention was to give you a chance to confront your family by taking you to your old room. I didn't think it would affect you so badly. I realise now that it was a misguided decision, and I regret taking you back to that place. I'm a goddamned idiot."

His admission tugged at your heart, and you responded by placing a comforting hand over his.

"Seonghwa, you're not an idiot. I'm not upset with you," You assured him, "I've been quiet since the visit because I'm still processing the fact that my own father killed my mother. All this time, I believed she died from sickness. Now, I can't help but wonder how different my life would have been if only she were still alive. He took her away from me just like that, and for what? All for his own selfish reasons..."

"I just... I feel so—" Tears welled up in your eyes, and your voice broke, "I-I'm sorry..." You pulled your hands away from him, attempting to wipe your eyes, but he gently grasped your shoulders and turned you to face him.

"No, you need to stop apologising. You have every right to be sad, and I'm here to tell you that you never have to endure any more of the pain you're going through alone. I'm here for you, okay? From now on, I want you to lean on me whenever things get too unbearable. Can you do that?"

Feeling the genuine warmth in Seonghwa's tone and seeing the unmistakable care in his eyes, you finally broke down. The weight of the revelations, the pain of your father's actions, and the years of emotional torment spilt over, and you couldn't hold back your tears any longer. He pulled you close, cradling you in his arms as you sobbed against his shoulder.

Whispering comforting words into your ear, he pressed gentle kisses onto the top of your head. His touch was a soothing balm, providing the comfort and support you desperately needed in that moment. As you let out your emotions, he held you tighter.

The sound of your heart-wrenching cries only caused an uncomfortable squeeze in his heart. The general had never experienced this kind of ache before. Throughout his life, he had always believed that no one had a tougher life than he did. But then you came along, with your fragile form, managing to shake his entire world and alter his perspectives on life. All of a sudden, the notion of having someone to protect and care for didn't seem so repulsive, especially when it was you.

You slowly pulled back, staring up at him through your wet lashes, and offered a grateful smile, "Seonghwa, I want to thank you for doing all this for me. I never imagined someone caring enough to go through all that trouble. I promise, in return, I'll try my hardest to be a worthy wife for you."

He wiped away your tears tenderly and gazed into your eyes, "You don't need to prove anything, my love. You're already perfect, just as you are."

Your heart raced, and your eyes widened as you stuttered, "W-wait, what... what did you just call me?"

He stilled, realising the words that had slipped from his mouth before he softened. Leaning close, he pressed his forehead against yours, "My love."

Seonghwa's presence became almost intoxicating. Feeling him so close, as if with a mind of its own, your eyes slowly fluttered closed. He took that as permission to lean in further, and after what felt like an eternity, his lips touched yours in a soft and tentative kiss. When you didn't push him away, he bravely angled his head before pressing his lips firmly against yours.

Finally, our first kiss.

Pulling away after a while to catch your breath, you bit your lip shyly, "I-I'm sorry if I wasn't—"

He shook his head, "Don't worry, it's my first time kissing someone too," He admitted, struggling to take his eyes off your swollen lips. A soft smile played on his lips as he caressed your cheek with his thumb, "Can I..." He asked with half-lidded eyes, and you nodded breathlessly.

Without wasting another moment, he captured your lips in another loving kiss. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the warmth of each other's presence. His touch was gentle yet filled with a depth of emotion. As the kiss deepened, you felt a rush of emotions, a mix of vulnerability and passion.

Feeling the need for air, he pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours. Your eyes met, and you could see the affection and sincerity in his gaze, "You're perfect." He whispered, his voice filled with tenderness, realising that kissing you might just be his new favourite thing to do from now onwards. The moment lingered, the air charged with newfound emotions. It was a beginning, a sweet promise of the love that had blossomed between you.

"Your Majesty, please—"

The King slammed his fists against the handle of his throne, causing the minister to gasp and lower his head. He shook like a leaf, awaiting his impending doom as the ruler declared, "I don't want to hear another word from you, Jang. You're a bloody disappointment. Actually, you're worse than that, you monster."

Kneeling beside your father were your stepmother and stepsisters, equally trembling. Pathetic tears rolled down their cheeks as they attempted to put on a pity show, hoping to move His Majesty's heart. However, their efforts did little to appease his rage. He scoffed in disbelief at their audacity to cry, considering all the despicable things they had done to you and your mother.

This marked the first time the four women had set foot in the palace, and little did they anticipate it would be under such circumstances. The visit might also be their only time here, as the imminent judgement from the King would decide their fate.

Seonghwa stood in the corner, arms crossed over his chest, an amused expression on his face. He left home that morning after a lingering kiss on your lips, feeling rejuvenated and determined. Choosing not to burden you with the details of today's assembly, he shielded you from further thoughts about your family.

Don't worry, my love. I'll make sure they suffer a punishment worse than death.

"I can't stand to look at you imbeciles for another moment longer. Let's get this over with already. Royal Secretary Choi, would you be so kind as to enlighten us with all of Minister Jang's crimes and his punishments?" said the King.

Stepping forward from his corner next to the throne, San bowed, "As you wish, Your Majesty," Tugging open the scroll in his hands, he began reading out loud, "Minister Jang has committed a total of five crimes. First, he committed adultery voluntarily, and for that, he will be whipped with eighty lashes. Second, he committed the crime of official document forgery, and for that, he will be whipped an additional twenty lashes."

Dread filled the minister as he gulped, anxiously listening to the secretary move on to the next section, "Third, for the confinement, continuous abuse, and mistreatment of his own daughter, an innocent citizen, he will be flogged thirty times. Next, for violating the code of ethics as a minister, which is to be a law-abiding citizen, he will be stripped of his title and flogged another twenty times."

As your father's hands trembled, he attempted to hold himself up by pressing his sweaty palms against the floor, breathing heavily as he awaited the final and most severe punishment. San continued, "And finally, for the murder of his first wife, an innocent citizen, he will be sentenced to permanent exile."

That's... it?

Feeling a sliver of hope, the old man let out a small sigh of relief. At least it wasn't death by beheading or arsenic poisoning as he had feared. Banishment seemed acceptable; he supposed he could still live a quiet life somewhere away from here. Bowing deeply, he cried, "Thank you, Your Majesty! Your grace is immeasurable!"

All the ministers and officials present quickly stole glances at Seonghwa, wondering if he would throw a fit and object to the punishment that was yet to be the heaviest one. However, they failed to discern his feelings, as there was only an unreadable smirk on his handsome face.

Lady Jang and her daughters trembled as they awaited their turn. With a nod from the King, the secretary continued, "Moving on, Lady Jang has committed a total of four crimes. First, she voluntarily committed adultery, and for that, she will be whipped eighty lashes. Second, she committed the crime of official document forgery, and for that, she will be whipped an additional twenty lashes."

She nodded to herself, seemingly already accepting her fate, as she listened, "Third, for the confinement, continuous abuse, and mistreatment of the minister's eldest daughter, an innocent citizen, she will be flogged thirty times. And finally, for being an accomplice to the murder of the first Lady Jang, she will be sentenced to penal servitude for life."

Her eyes shot up immediately, finding it hard to accept that she would be separated from her husband. She had believed she, too, would be exiled along with him. But she quickly lowered her gaze as soon as she saw the glare the King had directed at her, as if daring her to complain about it.

Oh god, my life is over...

Noticing the King's patience wearing thin, San quickly concluded with the final sentencing, "Lastly, for the confinement, continuous abuse, and mistreatment of the minister's eldest daughter, an innocent citizen, the three young misses of the Jang family will be flogged thirty times each and sentenced to penal servitude for a total of thirty years."

All three of the sisters' jaws fell slack at their punishment. After living luxurious lives like spoiled brats for so long, they were now expected to be servants, performing hard labour for three decades. All their dreams of getting married and leading comfortable lives were shattered. The prospect of finding suitors after serving their sentences seemed bleak. Their lives were forever ruined, and things would never be the same.

"Now that that's settled, remove these individuals from my sight, and see to it that they receive their physical punishments by today. I don't want their presence contaminating my palace walls any longer than necessary. Moving on to the next agenda, let us discuss who will stand in as the interim Minister of Military Affairs until we elect a new one." The ruler grumbled, waving his hands dismissively.

Seonghwa grinned smugly, relishing the way your father's face fell as he absorbed His Majesty's words. The King fully intended to drive the point home, reminding him that, no matter how much he believed he contributed to the nation, he, too, was just as disposable. Consider it emotional torment for further punishment, if you will.

As the members of the Jang family were forcefully pulled to their feet and guided toward the palace torture chamber where all punishments for criminals were administered, the general bowed deeply, "Your Majesty, forgive this humble subject for not feeling too well. Would it be possible for me to excuse myself from the remainder of today's assembly?"

With a knowing glint in his eyes, the King nodded, "Of course, my boy. Nothing matters more than your well-being. I'll have Royal Secretary Choi send you the minutes of today's meeting later on."

All eyes were fixed on your husband as he confidently exited the hall, wearing an excessively pleased expression, looking a little too content to be feeling unwell as he had claimed. It became evident to everyone that he was plotting something, a scheme that even His Majesty was privy to and had tacitly approved.

"P-please, have mercy!"

Screams reverberated within the dim and eerie confines of the torture chamber, a place the general once frequented during his duties of interrogating spies, war criminals, and suspicious individuals to maintain peace within the nation.

The familiar sounds of your family's agonising cries filled his ears, and he couldn't suppress the chuckle that escaped his lips as he entered, "Ah yes, music to my ears."

Upon his arrival, all the royal guards present swiftly bowed deeply and greeted Seonghwa with respect, "Good day, General Park!" They dared not continue until he gave them a nod, "Go on, don't let me stop you. I'm only here to enjoy the show."

"Yes, sir!" They chanted in unison. To many young soldiers and palace guards, he was akin to a god, an embodiment of success they aspired to achieve one day. Therefore, his mere presence motivated them to perform their duties with increased ruthlessness and precision.

Taking a seat in the centre of the room, your husband bit his lip with a smug expression, locking eyes with your father whose gaze reflected anguish. The elderly man lay face down on a wooden table, enduring lash after lash on his already bloody and battered back. His painful ordeal was far from over.

Whimpering, your father pleaded, "S-Seonghwa, I'm s-still your father-in-law! Please, at least show a little mercy to your wife's father!" Beside him, his wife nodded pathetically, sharing the same painful fate. Meanwhile, the three daughters stood frozen in a corner, wrists cuffed, awaiting their turn to face their beatings.

A devilish laughter escaped the general as he shot a menacing glare at the former minister, "Oh, I'm sorry, was that supposed to make things any better? I would show you mercy if only you had shown my wife any. You shouldn't have said anything, you fool," Turning to the guard in charge of whipping your father, your husband ordered, "Not hard enough, soldier. I want to see his skin tear."

"Yes, sir!" Striking with increased force, the lashes landed on the old man's back, inflicting wounds that would take months to heal. The continuous shrieks of pain only served to widen the smile on Seonghwa's face, "And to think you were thanking His Majesty for his grace; you've underestimated the severity of being whipped, haven't you? Did you really think you were going to walk out of here with a small bruise? Dream on."

"Oh, I can't wait for all of you to experience the wonders of flogging! It will be delightful, a punishment perfectly suited for your kind." The general sang, eyeing the three girls slyly.

They cowered under his intense gaze, suddenly regretting every action they took on the day of your visit. Perhaps if they hadn't attempted any of those, they might have gotten away with a lighter sentence. But there was no point dwelling on such thoughts now.

"Father! Mother!" The girls cried, witnessing their parents only now completing the first half of their punishment. Before they could continue their wailing, guards approached them, saying, "Quiet down! Worry about yourselves instead; it's your turn."

The former minister and his wife looked practically lifeless by the time the guards were finished with their hundred lashes each. The skin on their backs was completely torn open, blood gushing out relentlessly. They were nearly unconscious by the time the guards moved them to separate poles, where they would be beaten with a heavy stick all over their bodies.

Letting out a small yawn, Seonghwa signalled for them to prepare for the flogging. This would be entertaining to witness; most criminals barely survived this punishment by the time it concluded. He would relish the idea of them being left in critical conditions.

"Enjoy yourselves! Thirty times each for what you've all done to my wife – just the perfect amount to leave you halfway to hell. Don't worry; you'll wish you were dead by the end of this. But rest assured, we will keep you alive," Your husband exclaimed with a clap of his hands, "Now, I want you to think of all the things you've done to my wife as you endure this. Can we all do that?"

In the ensuing silence, the guards approached each family member, forcefully striking them with the heavy sticks in their hands. With just one hit, all of them began howling in pain, "Answer the general! Can you all do as you are told?!"

"Y-yes! Yes!" All five of them sobbed miserably, and the general beamed, "Fantastic! Now, let the official flogging begin! The first one does not count, alright? Consider it warm up!"

The insanity in his eyes was genuinely terrifying, and your family was once again reminded of his reputation. Suddenly, it all made sense. This was how it felt to be a victim of his cruelty. They never should have sent you to him; that was their biggest mistake, and nothing they do or say could ever change that now.

"Yes, sir!"

And so it began, the screams that now filled the room were even more piercing than the ones during the first round of whipping.

Approaching each family member one by one, Seonghwa smirked, "Remember all the times you starved her?" Jinjoo nodded in between shrieks, "Good. And you, recall all the times you insulted her and made her feel small?" Jinhee repeated her sister's actions, nodding furiously, "Very good. And you, remember all the times you did something wrong and blamed it on her so that she would take your punishments for you?"

Jinah cried, tears and snot running down her sweaty face, "I'm sorry!" He shook his head, "Will saying a useless sorry change anything? Nope. Hit her harder, soldier," With a grin of approval, he moved on to your stepmother, "And you, recall all the times you kept her locked up in that prison cell you call her room?" Not wanting to suffer like her eldest, she nodded aggressively, "Good."

Finally stopping in front of your father, he crossed his arms over his chest, "And you, remember all the times you laid your hands on her? Your own daughter?" The former minister nodded quickly but was not spared, "Good, hit him even harder so he never forgets how it feels."

"Twenty-nine, thirty." The beatings stopped for the four women, and they collapsed one by one onto the floor like rag dolls. Blood trickled from their noses and the corners of their lips, their bodies covered in countless bruises and open wounds, soaking their clothes red. And that is only what can be seen on the outside; who knew what fatal internal injuries they could be suffering from.

With his hands propped on his hips, Seonghwa took in the sight with satisfaction, "Very well, some of these scars should last you for life. Now, you look as bad as the way you'd left my wife. Actually, worse. But that's good. I'm very happy with the outcome. Guards, take them away and make sure to send them to places where they're known to treat their servants poorly."

The girls sobbed upon hearing that, "General, please, have mercy! We've already suffered enough!" Your husband scoffed, "Mercy? Have you not been paying attention this entire time? I'm not known for that. Get them out of my sight."

As the guards dragged the wailing women out, they cried for their husband and father. The former minister yelled, still taking his twenty additional beatings as he watched his wife and daughters go, "W-will you not at least let me say my final goodbyes to them?"

"Minister, please don't make me laugh. Did you also allow my wife and her poor mother a final goodbye?" The old man had nothing to say at that, grunts of pain escaping his lips as he tried to endure the remainder of his punishment despite feeling like all of his insides had been beaten to mush at this point. He didn't have to look down to know that he was soaked in blood; he could feel the sting on his wounds whenever the slightest bit of wind blew past.

Just a bit more, and I'm free.

« Preview of Part 11 »

"Forty-nine, fifty." Your father sighed in relief when the punishment finally ceased. Collapsing to the ground upon being untied, he stared blankly ahead, feeling pain throughout his entire body. Slowly but surely, he slipped into unconsciousness due to the loss of blood.

Unfortunately, his respite was short-lived. A bucket of dirty water was abruptly dumped over him, causing him to scream in agony as the injuries on his body stung intensely, bringing tears to his eyes.

"Did you think it was over?" His blood ran cold as he noticed he was now tied to a chair, unable to move. With most of the guards gone, only him and Seonghwa remained.

"What do you think you're doing, general? I've completed all my physical punishments; you're supposed to banish me now!" The old man croaked, his eyes widening in fear as he noticed the dagger in your husband's hand.

The general burst into laughter, "Oh, minister, you can be quite slow at times. Did you genuinely believe that His Majesty's decision not to sentence you to death was an act of kindness? Who do you think requested your exile?"

"Y-you—"

Seonghwa smirked, "Indeed, it was me. Killing you would have been too merciful. No, I want you to endure a life so filled with pain that you wish for death every single day. Now, after seeing how skilled you were at begging all day, I believe you'd make a very talented beggar. Do you know what would make you a successful beggar?"

Tears streaming down his face, your father shook his head hopelessly as your husband traced the blade against his skin before whispering, "One without limbs."

That was the most violence I have ever written HAHA I had to channel my inner Joker for Seonghwa's character. Anyway, I hope that was satisfying enough!

As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! <3

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feelings (ln4)

my fist lando fic! lmk if you enjoy!

summary: in which lando clearly has feelings for you but will not confess, no matter how many plans you and your friends come up with.

warning: some swearing, lando being an idiot

Ever since you had been invited to join Quadrant by your best friend Ria, you had become increasingly close with the rest of the group. Niran was the first one you got close to, him welcoming you into the group with open arms and listening to all your content ideas. Soon after, you got close to Max, Aarav, and Steve, the boys always making sure you felt like a part of the group. Lando, with his busy schedule, took longer for you to get to know and have in your life.

But when you and Lando finally hit it off, you couldn't imagine what your life had been like before him. You found yourself watching Formula 1 races more often and wearing various pieces of merch sent to you by Lando himself. Occasionally, you would find yourself with a text from him, asking how your day had been or wondering if you would be free to grab dinner while he was in town for a few days.

But soon the tone began to change. You spent many late nights at his apartment, laughing over inside jokes. The random gifts from countries around the world kept appearing more often. Your phone calls got longer and longer until neither of you wanted to hang up.

It seemed like Lando Norris was into you.

You decided to ask Ria about it one day. After all, she had known the man longer than you.

"Hey, do you think Lando is into me?"

Ria gave you a shocked look. "Did you only now just pick up on it?"

"Yeah...?"

"He thought you were hot before you even joined Quadrant. He was avoiding getting to know you because he was intimidated by you at the start. But clearly that has changed."

"Yeah, now he's made it obvious."

"Has he confessed to liking you?"

"Not yet. But i really don't feel like he will any time soon. I mean, there have been so many opportunities when I've been alone with him at his house. And when we've gotten dinner. Or when he's driven me home."

Ria smiled. "Then we'll have to make him confess. Give him an opportunity he can't pass up."

"And how do you suppose we do that?"

---

You had asked Lando to a fancy restaurant in London and reserved a private table with help from Ria, whose family knew the owners. Lando had picked you up in his McLaren, dressed up in a suit. If you hadn't found him attractive before, this would have done the trick.

Dinner was delicious and you enjoyed the flavors while having casual conversation. You laughed over stories from his previous race weekend while you caught him up on the antics going on with the Quadrant group.

"This sure is a nice restaurant, what made you want to dine somewhere special tonight?" he asked.

You could have told him, but you wanted him to confess first.

"Oh, you know. To celebrate someone very special to me being home for once."

"Am I special to you?"

"Yes, Lando. You mean a lot to me."

You held eye contact in the awkward silence that followed. "Stop getting all sentimental on me!" he exclaimed. "You gonna start crying?"

"I might if I have to put up with you for too much longer, let's get the check," you replied, rolling your eyes before laughing.

It seemed like this plan wasn't going to work.

---

Niran sighed dramatically. "So you told him he meant a lot to you and he told you to stop being sentimental? That man is an idiot!"

"I know, right? Any ideas on how we can get him to confess?"

"Easy. Quadrant truth or drink hot sauce video. We ask him point blank if he likes you and he has to answer."

You agreed to Niran's idea and you both got to work writing the questions. A few days later, when Lando was available for the shoot, you had set up in the studio with you three and Ria. The questions started simple.

"So do you watch all of Lando's races?" Ria asked you.

"Of course I do! Wouldn't want to miss one."

You saw Lando smile at your response out of the corner of your eye. Just more evidence the man had fallen for you. You looked at your next question for Niran.

"Have you ever ghosted someone?"

"I have. She wasn't too happy about that one," Niran said.

Niran looked at you for a few seconds as he picked up the next question card. You gave a barely perceptible smile and nod to indicate that you wanted to go along with the plan.

"Lando, do you like y/n?"

Lando's gaze flicked to you before he burst out into laughter. "What kind of question is that? Of course I like y/n! They are a great friend."

Clearly, the question hadn't been worded correctly. Or Lando was finding a way out of admitting his feelings. When you watched the video back before it went out to the internet, you noticed that Lando blushed when Niran asked the question. He fidgeted with his shirt sleeve while he answered, unlike in any of the other questions. He knew the implications and what Niran was getting at. Clearly you would have to try something else.

---

"So you think he does like me?"

Max Fewtrell turned in his chair to face you. "I don't think he likes you. I know he likes you. The man has been down bad ever since he met you. I've never seen him look at anybody else the way he looks at you, like you're the only person he can see."

"But how do I get him to say so?"

Max sat there in silence for a few seconds.

"We're going to make you into Lando Norris' dream girl. He won't be able to resist you."

"What exactly does that entail?"

Apparently, it entailed a full day of spending time with Lando. The day would start with you taking him on a trip to Top Golf, where you would show off that you knew how to hit a golf ball. Next was inviting Lando over to your house for dinner. It would be a home cooked meal of microwave chicken nuggets and mac and cheese, two foods Lando adored but did not eat often. For dessert, it would be ice cream sundaes, a notorious favorite of Lando's. Activities for the night included Mario Kart and sitting together on the couch and watch episodes of Money Heist, one of his favorite shows.

Max said that if he didn't confess his feelings by the end of this night, the man truly was beyond hope.

It was a long day full of activities Lando loved, but surely this would do the trick that nothing else had. You started by going to Top Golf as planned. Little did Lando know, but you had practiced a bit before the trip so that your golfing skills would be attractive to Lando.

"Woah, you can really hit a golf ball!" Lando exclaimed, watching as you swung.

"What, you thought I would be bad?"

"Of course not, I just hoped I might be able to impress you."

You smiled, sensing that you were one step closer to getting Lando to ask you out. Even though golfing may not have been your favorite thing in the world, it was having the intended effect.

Next of course was the dinner. You drove Lando back to your place and led him inside. Of course he had been over a few times before, but this time felt different somehow.

"So what's for dinner?" he asked, interrupting your thoughts.

"I thought we could do something easy, like chicken nuggets and mac and cheese."

"Oh my god! Are you a picky eater too? I never noticed before."

You nodded. "Yeah, I mean I like a lot of foods but there are many I don't like as well."

"How were we not friends sooner?"

You tried not to let any emotions show that he had again called you his friend, but the night was not beyond saving yet. There were still four more stages to the grand plan Max had made.

When you brought out the ice cream sundaes, you could sense his heart starting to melt just like the treat in the bowls. The looks he gave you were different now, like he couldn't take his gaze away from you. And to be fair, you couldn't stop looking at his freckles and his blueish eyes.

"Want to play Mario Kart?" you asked nonchalantly, as if the night hadn't been planned from the start.

"You know I love beating you at video games."

You rolled your eyes. "You say that like I didn't win 5-0 last time we played."

"Oh you're in for it now!"

The competition was close, you winning the first two rounds and Lando winning the next two. In a close battle for victory, you got a red shell that sent Lando spinning and you passing him to claim first place.

"So who's beating who at video games now?" you asked tauntingly.

"It wasn't fair, I got distracted," he whined.

"By what?"

"You."

You couldn't help but blush. "What did I do to distract you?"

"You were shouting at me the whole race, how could I tune that out?" he laughed. A slight wave of disappointment passed through you.

"Want to watch TV?" you asked.

"What show?"

"Money heist? I've been watching that lately."

"Oh my god that's one of my favorite shows! How did you not tell me that you were watching it?"

"I guess it slipped my mind."

You sat next to each other on your small couch, legs pressed up against each other due to how close together you were sitting. It seemed like the night was a waste. You had done all of Lando's favorite things and still he couldn't bring himself to tell you his feelings. Maybe he just wasn't into you? Even though his friends had all reassured you that the signs were there, doubt started to creep in.

You were three episodes in and all of your hope was gone.

"I think I'm going to head home after this one," Lando said. "But thanks for having me over, I had a real good time."

"I did too, Lando."

The credits rolled and you turned off the TV. Lando got up from the couch and you felt cold where the physical contact with him had disappeared. The opportunity was closing fast.

"Lando, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, what is it?"

"I...do yo...have you..."

"Just spit it out."

"Do you have feelings for me? Like more than friends kind of feelings?"

Lando was silent for a moment. "Yeah. I have for a long time and I just didn't know how to let you know. Didn't want to ruin our friendship."

You sighed dramatically. "Are you fucking kidding me, Lando Norris? I took you on a date at a fancy restaurant?"

"Oh my god, that's what that was all about?"

"And then I had Niran ask you if you liked me? And you called me a great friend?"

"Well I couldn't just say it to Niran could I?"

"I was right there! And then this whole night I've been waiting for you to ask me out. You were just going to leave!"

"Ok maybe that one is my fault."

"Lando Norris you are completely oblivious!"

"I know I'm so sorry I didn't-"

You silence him with a kiss on his lips. "It doesn't matter. What matters is that I love you. Even if you can be oblivious."

Lando looked at you before pulling you in for another kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow. Let me take you on a proper date for once, one that I'll actually realize is a date."

"I can't wait."

---

"So you had to confess to him?" Max asked incredulously. "That man is worse than I ever thought."

"Yeah, he was just going to leave without saying anything."

"Jesus Christ."

You laughed. "But at least it's over now, you don't have to watch us pine for each other anymore."

Max rolled his eyes. "But now I have to deal with you being all sappy together. I don't know what's worse."

"Well I can tell you which option I prefer."