#Because he doesn't think they could or would genuinely want to. Because he's convinced he's too far gone
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demon-country · 10 hours ago
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The fact that I have already seen a good number of people complaining about how mean Stolas was supposedly being to Blitz in his song and thinking that he legitimately believes that Bliz is a wretched little worm that he owns is just. Utterly baffling. I'm genuinely unsure how anyone could miss the fact that it was an act. It was all a ruse he threw together on the fly in an effort to protect Blitz, wherein he pretended to be a big, bad, masterclass manipulator who was just using Blitz as his pawn.
For anyone who doubts it, here's the truth straight from the song writer's mouth:
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This is literally the same exact ploy he pulled in Truth Seekers. He came in at the last minute and put on a big show to convince the people threatening Blitz and the rest of I.M.P that he was a big, scary demon who was so much more powerful than them (which he is) and practically owned them as his minions used to carry out his evil deeds (which he doesn't).
Though, perhaps I shouldn't be too surprised, since pretty much everyone I've seen talk about that scene fails to realize that that and his "who dares threaten my impish little plaything?" and "what's the matter, demon hunter? Never seen a real demon before?" comments were nothing but an act and he didn't actually believe any of it, too.
In Mastermind, he was trying to make sure that all of the blame would be put on himself, so that, as shown above, they would give Blitz the same treatment the others got when Blitz claimed they had nothing to do with it and were just following his orders.
In Truth Seekers, he was trying to intimidate the humans and make them so scared he wouldn't need to resort to violence to stop them. Why else would he put on that whole horror movie display and announce himself and his relationship with Blitz at all, if his entire goal was anything other than to incapacitate them with fear? If all he wanted was to get I.M.P out, he could have quickly and easily killed them without saying a word. Calling Blitz his plaything and saying that he was a real demon served to a) establish that he was the kind of person who had playthings, because that's the kind of cruel, domineering creature that most humans expect demons to be, and b) further intimidate them by implying that he was exponentially more powerful than the demons who just decimated their whole entire team.
He didn't mean any of it either time (except for when he called Blitz an idiot, maybe); those weren't things he actually believed. Why would he legitimately think of Blitz as his plaything and someone he owns when in both cases it was far enough in the timeline that he was already in love with Blitz and wanted a real, genuine romantic relationship with him and not just the fleeting taste of one he got while restrained by the full moon deal?
Those were classist/racist things to say, of course, and that was the point. That was language he deliberately used because it fit the persona he was using to appear villainous. Where he went wrong the first time and how his actual internalized racism came into play was in how he didn't for even one single second think about how those statements would look to the members of I.M.P, because he'd never once had to think about the fact they must get those kinds of demeaning comments all the time and had no way of knowing that he was faking. Calling them "little creatures" while he was scolding them probably wasn't part of the act though, and he didn't realize that it was classist/racist to say those things at all, regardless of intent, so he never apologized or reassured them that he didn't actually believe Blitz was his plaything or that they weren't real demons.
But with the power of hindsight and a more omniscient view of the characters that we get later on, it's so clear to see that all of these comments were only said as part of his theatrical portrayals of a villain, rather than things he truly believes, because he doesn't talk like that after Ozzie's when he realized just how much he had unintentionally been hurting Blitz. Don't fall for his ruse, guys, especially not when it's as blatantly obvious as it was in Mastermind.
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infiniteglitterfall · 15 hours ago
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So, let me see if I understand the argument here.
You're saying that because a minority of Zionist Jews managed to get 60,000 Jews out of Germany, and the Nazis wanted Jews out of the country, "Zionists collaborated with Nazis." And therefore, "Zionism" is evil, and Israel is evil.
The United States took in more Jews than that during the 1930s: about 100,000.
Why does this not mean that the United States "collaborated with the Nazis" and is inherently evil?
Why does this not mean that Jews stole Americans' land?
Or Native Americans' land?
Was the moral position actually for everybody to demand that German Jews fight the Nazis alone?
You're genuinely arguing that Jews fleeing a fascist dictatorship, which had stripped them of their rights, livelihoods, and savings, and was going to kill them, were actually running to "go steal other people's land."
And this doesn't sound like a literal far-right Nazi conspiracy theory to you?
It's one thing for a random modern-day Jewish woman to be so clueless that she thinks Jews could have stayed and fought.
Because it's her own ass she's mentally sacrificing there.
The fact that so many non-Jews have seized on the "Haavara argument" as some kind of "Israel is the Nazis" nonsense is so embarrassing for you, I can hardly articulate it.
The Nazis were going to kill all of the Jews. This was already obvious to many Jews, forcing people like Hermann Gohring to publicly deny it as early as 1932.
From 1933-1935 alone, the Nazis stripped German citizenship from all German Jews and made it illegal to hire them for most jobs. They weren't even allowed to do farming. And one of the Nazis' first acts was to create a nationwide boycott of Jewish businesses. The Nazis systematically destroyed Jewish economic life in Germany.
The Jewish population in Germany went from 525,000 in 1933 to 215,000 in 1939. And a LOT of those Jews fled to nearby countries where the Nazis would later invade and murder them anyway.
The 304,000 Jews who managed to flee had to hand over most of their money and property to the Nazis in order to leave.
(Which then inspired a lot of countries across the Middle East and North Africa to do the same: legislate their Jews out of existence, encourage widespread antisemitic violence, and require them to hand everything over to the government if they wanted to flee. This went on throughout the 40s and 50s, and really, as long as it took. Today, November 30, is Jewish Refugee Day in honor of that.)
And against this level of societal, legal, and military power, BEFORE any Jews fled, the Jewish population of Germany was about 0.77% of the country.
Less than one percent of the German population.
You're saying that German Jews should have stayed and fought.
But you would not have fought for us.
You're not arguing that anybody else should have fought for us.
All you're really saying is that your level of understanding here is at "Nazi and Zionist both have Z's in them!"
They had to find a country that would take them, which was almost impossible because of both antisemitism and the Great Depression. A lot of the ones who left fled to nearby countries like France and Italy, where they ended up being rounded up and murdered by the Nazis anyway.
There was even a global conference about it in 1938 (the Evian Conference) at which fucking nobody except the Dominican Republic would agree to take in any extra Jews.
The Nazi Party had been absolutely clear about its principles since it was first formed:
In their 25-point party program published in 1920, Nazi Party members publicly declared their intention to segregate Jews from “Aryan” society and to abrogate their political, legal, and civil rights.
In 1933, the Nazis took power in Germany:
Once in power, Hitler moved quickly to end German democracy.
He convinced his cabinet to invoke emergency clauses of the constitution that permitted the suspension of individual freedoms of press, speech, and assembly.
Special security forces — the Gestapo, the Storm Troopers (SA), and the SS — murdered or arrested leaders of opposition political parties (Communists, socialists, and liberals).
The Enabling Act of March 23, 1933 — forced through the Reichstag already purged of many political opponents –gave dictatorial powers to Hitler.
Before the Nazis took power, there had been 525,000 Jews in Germany.
They started fleeing ASAP.
As the Jewish Telegraphic Agency wrote:
...the entire internal policy of Germany is to be controlled by Nazis who are firm believers in violence against the Jews.
Only yesterday, Paul Josef Goebbels, head of the Nazi party in Berlin announced a bloodless pogrom against the Jews to expel Jews from employment in government office and from the economic life of the country.
This he proposes to accomplish by heavy taxation on Jewish enterprises and by influencing the courts to prosecute the Jews individually and collectively to prevent them from conducting any inner Jewish activities.
...[Goering] made it clear [in 1932] that the Nazis would tolerate no equality rights for the Jews whom he charged with being a "disruptive and poisonous element which has brought harm to the German people."
Although he denied that the Nazis plan to murder the Jews... he emphasized that the Jews would be suffered to remain in the country as aliens only.
The Nazis spent the next six years making life unlivable for Jews.
1933: Jewish immigrants were stripped of their naturalization and/or citizenship. Jews could no longer get jobs in government/public service, journalism, or the radio. Jews were no longer allowed to farm.
1934: Jews were no longer allowed to work in stock exchanges or as stock brokers.
1935: The Nuremberg Laws are passed, completing the plan. All German Jews are stripped of their citizenship. Sex and marriage with Jews is now illegal for all German citizens. The German flag becomes the swastika. Jews are banned from flying it.
By 1938, Hitler was saying these laws had been "too humane."
But even at the time, the Nazi Party had made it clear that this was just the start: that if essentially removing Jews from German society did not magically lead to a healthy, functional, Aryan Germany, they would need to revisit the issue.
The fundamental core tenet of Nazi antisemitism was that Jews needed to be removed from Germany. The idea of a Jew-free state is of course easier said than done....
The Germans also created a problem in that the Reichsfluchtsteuer (Reich Flight Tax) had been transformed under the Nazis into a mechanism to fleece German Jews emigrating of a good deal of their worldly possessions.
While there were quite a few German Jews who left Germany in 1933, these domestic and international factors encouraged some German Jews to hunker down and wait Hitler out.
In other words, Jews were being forced into exile, and Germany would only let them leave if they handed over their money and property on the way out.
If you've ever heard stories of Jewish refugees immigrating with their money sewn into the hems or linings of their coats, or people having their Jewish grandmother's wedding ring because she had hidden it inside her false teeth when she fled, that's why.
This is something that happened over and over and over and over again during and after the Nazis, because the Nazis had worked so hard to spread their influence and propaganda across the world.
Almost every country in the Middle East and North Africa had had a large Jewish population that went back thousands of years.
The departure of Jewish citizens was desired and permitted by the Nazi government ��� even after the Invasion of Poland – until a decree from Heinrich Himmler forbade Jewish emigration on 23 October 1941.
In 1941, the Nazis put the Final Solution into action.
The Final Solution, killing every Jew on earth, was their attempt to "solve" the "Jewish Problem" facing the world.
The "Jewish Problem" was that Jews existed.
(Or, as people following in their footsteps later would put it:
"Our struggle against the Jews is very great and very serious.… It is a step that inevitably should be followed by other steps.
"...For a long time, the enemies have been planning, skillfully and with precision, for the achievement of what they have attained. They took into consideration the causes affecting the current of events.
"They strived to amass great and substantive material wealth which they devoted to the realization of their dream.
"With their money, they took control of the world media, news agencies, the press, publishing houses, broadcasting stations, and others.
"With their money they stirred revolutions in various parts of the world with the purpose of achieving their interests and reaping the fruit therein. They were behind the French Revolution, the Communist revolution and most of the revolutions we heard and hear about, here and there....
"With their money they were able to control imperialistic countries and instigate them to colonize many countries in order to enable them to exploit their resources and spread corruption there....
"Their plan is embodied in the ‘Protocols of the Elders of Zion,’ and their present conduct is the best proof of what we are saying.")
That last quote is Hamas. And yet, the war is a genocide and Israel isn't really trying to take out Hamas and Jews are evil Nazis and Palestine is a concentration camp and Israel is a concentration camp and words are meaningless.
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kairithemang0 · 2 months ago
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Man, Curt's got internalized homophobia so bad that for the first 3 months of their relationship he was convinced Owen was straight before Owen had to scream it in his face that he was gay and then Curt spent another 3 months still calling himself straight to Owen's face and Owen's so sick of it like Curt you 2 are actively fucking EVERY TIME YOU SEE EACH OTHER. AND YOU ARE VERY CLEARLY INTO IT. YOU ARE NOT STRAIGHT SIR STOP LYING TO YOURSELF
internalized homophobia agent curt mega ily
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kinard-buckley · 7 months ago
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a truly terrible idea has latched hold of my gremlin brain which is, buck and tommy do break up so that buck can pursue eddie because either tommy thinks buck is in love with eddie or buck feels like he should be with eddie because everyone else keeps suggesting there's something more there BUT buck/eddie getting together changes their dynamic so much that neither of them are enjoying themselves (and they're worrying about losing what made their friendship so special because of all the changes to the dynamic) AND buck and tommy keep hooking up [air quotes] platonically (with tommy stumbling into inconvenient feelings and pining pathetically for buck while fucking him) while buck struggles to sort out intense feelings toward eddie (which obviously have to be romantic of course) vs. his calm, more settled feelings toward tommy (they're not as intense as his feelings about eddie so they can't possibly be romantic) blah blah long story slightly less long but buck realizes he's been in love with tommy the whole time and was having trouble separating strong but platonic feelings for eddie from his romantic feelings toward tommy and then tommy's like "newsflash asshole i've been in love with you the whole goddamn time"
i'll never write it because it's irredeemably stupid and i value my peace but it IS sitting in my hindbrain tormenting me right now
#thank you for coming to my ted talk#i'm not tagging this bc i don't want it showing up in any show or ship tags but...............................#terrible evil plotbunny free to a good home#nobody ever writes about the friends who get together bc 'why not everyone else already thinks we're dating' and then it doesn't work out#because the dynamic changes SO MUCH that you're not sure if it was such a good idea in the first place#now add a third person to the mix that you like but aren't sure how you feel about them#not sure if eddie would be aware it's casual and non exclusive or if there'd be miscommunication leading to angst#honestly this is just me venting my frustrations with those breakup fics masqueraring as b*cktommy that have tommy#graciously sacrificing himself on the altar of b*ddie's true love and stepping aside magnanimously#that's not interesting to me to read even as a b*ddie shipper#if buck and tommy have to break up let it be real and messy because real people are real and messy#let tommy fight for buck even if it doesn't end up working out#let buck and eddie feel guilty because buck did genuinely care about tommy and eddie does like him as a friend#let tommy cut both of them off because even though he likes both of them he still has feelings and it hurts seeing them together#let tommy be petty about showing off a new love interest or fwb and how much happier he is with this guy than he was with buck#let buck wonder if he made the right choice or not bc he didn't ever want to hurt tommy#he only convinced himself tommy would be completely fine with the breakup because he needed him to be fine so that he could do it guilt fre#let eddie wonder if they made the right choice or not bc while he finally has what he's wanted for years it did hurt someone he really like#maybe it'll all work out in the end for buck and eddie AND tommy but i just want it to feel real and not overly polished and sanitized#and no one is hurt or upset or petty or flawed#anyway#i like mess#don't @ me#i might have to write this now but i don't want to be chased off with pitchforks and torches#text#shut up giallos
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dutybcrne · 10 months ago
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The only person who has actually seen Kaeya's right eye after the immediate treatment post-Confrontation is Adelinde. He adamantly refuses to let anyone else see under it, especially those like Jean or Diluc who knew him best. The thought absolutely makes his gut churn. He would do anything to make sure no one catches sight of his eye if he can help it. Anything.
#hc; kaeya#//Adelinde is the only one; because he's the only one he can truly never say no too#//If she wants to check up on how his eye is; he'll only ask they move to a room where they can be alone to do so#//Jean's tried to convince him to let her see it after she got her Vision and realized its healing properties#//He adamantly refused#//Let the healers see it only ONCE; & their reactions made him genuinely consider if he should let them get away with the knowledge of it#//Spun up some tale why his eyes were mismatched & the burns as awful as they were to stave them off#//But from that point on; would NOT let them see it. If anyone was treating his eye; it would be HIM and HIM alone#//Is probably why it didn't heal up as well as it could have under their care. Can still sort of see; but nowhere near as clear as the othe#//Most of the folks who treated him and saw his eye left with Varka. He has lingering paranoia of what they could say abt him to Varka#//He's even snapped at Klee for trying to see; having been playfully trying to steer her away from taking the patch off#//Then just Panicked when he felt the string loosen. he felt so awful afterward; esp with how she'd burst into tears#//Anyone trying to or being perceived as trying to take off the patch WILL get a nasty strike of frostbite#//Which is why it takes a MASSIVE amount of trust to touch even that side of his face#//He esp doesn't want it seen immediately after using Abyssal energy; its influence is VERY noticeable there in particular#//Diluc is the one he'd loathe to see it the most; but not over a grudge; he's worried that in the (High Unlikely) case of him still caring#//That Diluc might blame himself for how the injury resulted. And/or try to 'help' with/talk abt it. And Kae doesn't want that at ALL#//There's also a lingering fear that Luc might in fact say the opposite and allude that Kae DESERVED the scars/affliction#//Which Kae wouldn't contest (nor does he think Luc is cruel enough to); but it Devastate him to hear it nonetheless#//Kae'd rather live in a permanent limbo wondering how Luc would react than actually find out; thanks#//Not even other Khaenri'ahns like Dainsleif are exempt; bc he doesn't want to say his usual cover story for the burns#//Wouldn't be as believable to the likes of them compared to the other Mondstadters
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tapakah0 · 7 months ago
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(runout of tags again I hate it here gotta bite the max ammount) #Also. I feel like Ward's perception of Oscar will be changing from now on #Yep. a bastard. a smart bastard. But let's be real. He can survive and get you out, follow him # Mhm. Cass I think I did mention that I was up for the story, because of what could possibly be in this story later # We reached the point where I open the door, close it from inside and throw the key in the window from 10th floor
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Part 13 ;)
Oh no, they're roommates now?? Hope you're ready for the fluff, family dynamics, and chaos that follows~
Previous
Masterpost
#OSCAR FLIRTING ON BOTH SIDES MMM#HOLLY BEING OKAY WITH IT MMM#I can't kind of see Oscar and Holly as a canon due to how they act and perceive things#I feel like Holly's character might accept Oscar as a working partner not as a “partner” ... I ended up thinking about gay drama after you#answered that ask guh pffht#Agree to let him hunt with them; get this badass suit#get Ward out of lab; get Holly with them#OSCAR'S HAPPY TURN WANTING TO EXPLEIN IT#Understanding that he will not like it PFFFHT#OOooh is this a little alien lizard#The rest time... look like some kind of room that is built like a sauna#EGHFGEHF HIGH RELATIONSHIPS welp you got it on yourself by making his brain this way. He definitely knows way#to measure her dumbassery#Oh Sculptor has been teaching her a few features huh. Was he some kind of teacher for her in the past? (And possibly still is)#HE DIDN'T KILL THEM OKAY. EXACTLY. WARD. YOU KNOW HE COULD SIT WITH YOU ALL OR BE DEAD#IT WOULD HAVE HELPLED YOU ALL OOOH SOO MUCHHH#I kind of... remember the characters that do talk villains to the extend where they stop killing anyone but I'm genuinely sure it might not#work with marmors (I keep wanting to call them marmons hhshh)#OH MY GOD THE COMPOSITION OF THE SAME PLOT WITH DIFFERENT POVS BEING EXPLAINED FROM THE SAME MOMENTS#I SO FRICKING OVE IT YOU HAVE NO IDEA SMOOTCH YOU#OKAY. THAT WAS NOT EXPECTED. I KIND OF EXPECTED THAT OSCAR IS PLOTTING SOMETHING BUT MMMM ECLIPTICA.#She is the ruler. Being dumb doesn't mean completely. Being dumb but not with the people. I love it.#GHSJFHGAAHGFAD MU***csd&*d** SFGASJH YESHJVMDX THIS SCENE F*** YES *THROW THE TABLE OUT* THE REFLECTIONOKAY#GOD YES. HE IS MNFGMVNMFN#I DON'T HAVE WORDS I JUST SIT THE STUPID SMILE BECAUSE IT IS. YES. HE IS A GOOD DANCER I AM CONVINCED. HIGH SOCIETY IS A CRUEL PLACE. VERY.#HOLDING A FACE AND BEHAVE IS ACTUALLY ALMOST A MENTAL TORTURE AND OSCAR IS BUILT FOR THIS#Ward... listen to him. He is currently the only way for the life not looking like a constant torture#Despite the fact that you all are roommates now#Also. I feel like Ward's perception of Oscar will be changing from now#inspiration
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princeof-flowers · 4 months ago
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What Nadine says about gender in how it relates to him honestly is yet another example of Nadine's tendency to avoid answering any questions about how he actually, genuinely feels and sees himself and his life/circumstances.
Like he's so avoidant of that. He'd rather force you to question society and your own preconceptions than answer anything about him, personally. Even if you've known him for like a decade or longer. Even if you're in the same polycule as him.
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cheeseceli · 11 months ago
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When you don't use their card
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Pairing: Ot8!skz × Gn!Reader (individually)
Genre: fluff, reaction
Request: Wondering if you could do stray kids giving you their card when you go out shopping, but you don’t use it and they see you haven’t and what they do 💗🖤
Warnings: not proofread; nothing more if I'm not mistaken
A/n: this layout is so pretty, admire it with me for a second pls
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Bang Chan
Y'know when he goes 🤨? That's him right now. Genuinely doesn't understand why you wouldn't use it. Like, the card was right there... Next to you... And you chose to not use it? If you explain that you just didn't want to use his money because you didn't feel comfortable, he'll explain to you that he doesn't mind in the slightes if you spent it. Actually, he'd be kind of honoured if you did. When he convinces you, he is smiling all adorable and content fr
Lee Know
When he didn't receive any notification from the bank he thought you had actually lost his card lmao. The minute this thought pops in his head he's calling you asking about the whereabouts of his card. When you tell him that you just didn't want to spend his money, he'll manage to convince you to use his card through the phone. He has a proud grin when he receives the first notification from the bank.
Changbin
He'd be kinda sad ngl. When he offered you his card and you took it he was feeling so proud of himself 😭 like "oh I'm such a good boyfriend :D". So when you don't use it he pouts for a second or two. Spend his money and he'll get happy again real quick!!
Hyunjin
Got a little :( tbh. But he doesn't address about it nor have a really dramatic reaction at first. Some days later he will spoil you with a lot of gifts, things he thinks you could've bought with his card. Half of it is just to make you happy and half of it because he wants to make you feel valued through his acts.
Han
Oh he's betrayed. How could take his card like you were going to use it but then you don't?? Stabbing him would've hurt less (he'd be so dramatic lol). Would try to go shopping with you next time just so he can make sure he'll be the one paying
Felix
When he didn't receive any notifications of the bank he thought that you just didn't buy anything. Perhaps nothing satisfied you so you didn't even buy it. But when you come back home with your shopping bags he's so ??? Like "how did you buy those things🤨". Audibly gasps when you tell him you used your own money. Betrayed pt2.
Seungmin
Gives you a glare that makes you freeze when he finds out. Next time you go shopping he offers you his card again, making sure he's glaring at you again like there's a threat in his eyes - "you better use this card this time." When you actually do he switches up completely and gives you the sweetest smile ever lol. It would be kinda cute ngl
I.N
I think that at first he wouldn't have noticed that you didn't buy your things with his money. But then you go shopping again and his bills stay the same... I think he'd catch up at the second or third time. Accuses you of letting him be delusional all this time believing he was the one paying for you😔 jokes aside he'd let you know that it's okay if you don't feel comfortable spending his money, but it's his pleasure to spoil like this and that if you don't mind him paying, you shouldn't hesitate on actually using his card
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Reblogs and feedback are always appreciated! | masterlist
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
Thank you for the help bestie @zzzzzwicked 🫰🏻
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navybrat817 · 5 months ago
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Fall for Me
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky doesn't think he's good enough for you, but still wishes he could be your guy. Word Count: Over 1.4k Warnings: Longing, insecurities, "just friends" (for now), Steve is a good friend, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: We'll call this a Friday Feels inspired by a nonnie.❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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It was a special kind of torture for Bucky to watch the person he loved flirt with someone else.
To be fair, he couldn't say for sure that you were flirting. Being friendly? Yes. You had a warm and welcoming personality, the kind he was drawn to the moment you two crossed paths months ago. One of the things he loved about you was how genuine you were. It was only natural that you pulled others in as well. Your compassion, charm, beauty, everything called to him.
You were the whole package, inside and out.
“What the hell am I doing here?” He muttered. He hadn't wanted to go to the bar, but Steve assured him it was a hole-in-the-wall sort of place. Not a lot of patrons on a night like this. Somewhere no one would bother them. He added at the last second that you were going.
Bucky grabbed his leather jacket to go as soon as those words left Steve’s mouth.
Instead of having a drink with you like he wanted or just talking, he simmered in silence in a booth while you stood at the bar. He narrowed his eyes as the guy you were talking to moved an inch closer. A bit too close for his liking.
Steve said his name was Will. They had met each other at some point in passing. Short blonde hair and a trimmed beard. Ex-military, but still built like he had a war to fight. Behind the guy’s blue eyes lurked pain, guilt, and regret that most would miss due to his general stoic demeanor. Bucky could relate all too well to horrors that haunted even the strongest of men.
But when Will looked at you, his eyes lit up. They held a sense of longing. Hope.
Once again, Bucky could relate all too well because that was how he looked at you.
“You’re doing that staring thing again,” Steve said, grabbing a beer from the bucket and setting it down in front of him. “Just talk to her.”
Bucky took a swig, but didn't take his eyes off you. He was afraid if he looked away that Will might convince you to leave with him. “Talk to her about what?”
His best friend sighed. “You know what.”
Steve knew how he felt about you. Talking about his feelings wasn't easy, but he had to tell his best friend. And it wasn't the first time Steve encouraged him to speak up. He said you had the right to know so the two of you could figure out how to move forward, whether as a couple or just friends, instead of dancing around it.
But how could Bucky admit how he felt when he didn't deserve someone like you?
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said.
“Bullshit.”
“We're friends,” Bucky stated. The words tasted as bitter as the beer he sipped. No, not bitter. He couldn't feel that way just because he had a piece of you when he wanted all of you.
Was he selfish for that?
He nearly shattered the bottle in his hand when you giggled at whatever Will said. Something akin to jealousy settled in his chest and he had no right to feel that way. The two of you weren't together. You were single and didn't owe him a thing.
But he knows if you gave him a chance, he’d treat you well. Better than any other guy before him. He would do his best to make you happy. Maybe that wasn't enough.
“Will is a good guy, but he isn't you, Buck. You’re still one of the best guys I know,” Steve said.
“You don't have to kiss my ass, punk,” he muttered, immediately regretting it. He was only trying to help and God knows he had done more than enough for him over the years.
Steve shook his head. “And you don't have to feel sorry for yourself, jerk.”
“I’m not,” he whispered. Maybe he was. He was sorry for so many things.
As if you sensed his sadness, you looked over your shoulder and met his gaze. You smiled at him, the kind of smile that stole the very breath from his lungs and made his head spin. He wanted to believe it was a smile you reserved only for him. And the softness in your beautiful eyes, he imagined he could see his future in them.
Could you see the endless love he had for you in his?
His heart ached when you turned away and put your hand on Will’s arm. Of course, you were attracted to the guy. Why wouldn’t you be? The thought of you kissing him though, being intimate with him? He felt sick enough to finally look away.
Bucky glanced at his distorted reflection in the beer bottle. A long time ago, he would've called himself handsome. Not because he was full of himself, but because he knew himself then. He knew how to walk the line between confidence and cockiness. He was full of life and wonder once. Now the weight of his sins showed in how he carried himself.
Sins you never judged him for.
“Jamie? Are you okay?”
Steve nudged him, snapping him out of his thoughts. He was so lost in his mind that he hadn’t heard you call out to him. He should’ve known since you were the only one who called him Jamie. When he looked up from his seat, he saw that you were no longer standing next to Will as he was still at the bar. And there was nothing but concern in your gaze as you set your drink down on the table.
“What? What happened?” He asked, not smooth at all.
Your eyes flickered to Steve and then back at him. “I asked if you’re okay. You don’t look too well.”
“Not feeling so great,” he said, which wasn’t a lie. “This place…”
“Oh,” you said, sliding into the booth beside him. He inhaled, your sweet scent soothing the pain in his heart and making it race all at once. “Well, why don’t we head out? There’s no reason to stay if you don’t want to stay.”
He gently smiled. You were always willing to go with the flow and change plans if things ever got too loud or too much for him. “I’m fine. Besides, you just got your drink and you haven’t had a chance to play pool with Sam or Natasha,” he argued. He didn’t want to spoil your night.
You put your hand on his arm, but it seemed different than when you touched Will’s arm. This was tender, soothing. “If being here is making you uncomfortable, then I don’t feel like sticking around. They’ll understand. Steve, please, back me up on this.”
“She’s right. You two should go,” Steve said, conveniently leaving himself and the others out of the equation.
Bucky spared Will a glance, who was now talking to the guys he went into the bar with. He swallowed hard before the next words left his mouth. “What about your new friend?”
“You are my friend, Jamie,” you said. He winced inwardly at the reminder. Friends. You were just friends. “Don’t worry about him. Let’s just go. How about a movie at your place? Something low-key so you feel better.”
“You sure?” He asked, wondering just how eager he looked to leave with you.
“I’m sure,” you smiled, making his heart warm again.
“Okay. You convinced me,” he said. Not that it would’ve taken much. Your smile could bend the will of just about anyone.
“You know, I hear healthy conversations are also good to help people feel better,” Steve chimed in, earning an elbow to the side from Bucky.
You raised an eyebrow and slid out of the booth. “Yeah. Sure. Jamie and I can have a healthy conversation and you all enjoy the rest of the night.” You offered Bucky a hand to help him out. He didn’t want to let go. “C’mon. We have a movie waiting for us.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Bucky teased, proud of himself when you giggled.
Steve gave him an optimistic smile and he couldn’t help but return it. He wasn’t sure if Will had given you his number or if you planned to see him, but maybe he’d take a chance and tell you he had fallen for you. Maybe, if he was lucky, you had fallen for him, too.
Just maybe.
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And maybe, just maybe, this could be a thing? Did Will give you his number? Will Bucky say how he feels? What's going to happen? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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mafiadad5 · 13 days ago
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Perv!bestfriend! jisung who…
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Perv!bestfriend! jisung x fem!reader
mdni!!! 18+
warnings- make out, groping, choking, dry humping, panties, jerking off, explicit depictions of oral sex.
W/c- 1.7k
a/n- hope you guys enjoy, I surely enjoyed writing lol.
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Perv!bestfriend!jisung who acts completely normal when you're out with friends, but behind closed doors, he becomes a bit more touchy. Whether it's accidentally brushing his hand against your chest, groping your waist during your "play fights", or placing his hand uncomfortably close to your inner thigh, you notice the shift. 
"Ji, what are you doing?" you ask, glancing at him as you both sit on the couch. 
"Hmm?" he replies, pouting his lips innocently as if he has no idea what you're talking about. 
You simply shake your head, turning your attention away from him.
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Perv!bestfriend!jisung who had to excuse himself to the restroom after you compared your hand size to his, calling his hands big and manly. 
It turned him on so much, he couldn't help it. He could make you feel so good with them if you let him.
He couldn't help but to imagine how his hands could explore every inch of your body— how they could make you tremble under his touch. Feeling up your body, touching you in the most sensual way. He pictured the way you'd gasp as his fingers teased and toyed with you, hitting all the right spots, you clenching around his fingers as you begged for more. The thought of it drove him wild, he needed it so bad. 
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Perv!best friend!jisung who invites you to sleep in his bed because 'he doesn't want you to sleep on the couch when his roommate is home.'
"Oh... you're sleeping in here with me?" You say, looking at him with curious eyes. 
"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" He asked, giving you that innocent look that always drove you a little crazy. You nodded in agreement. He's right... why wouldn't he? That's your best friend after all. In his mind, he was excited that you agreed. Why would he pass the chance to lay next to your beautiful body, especially in those skimpy clothes you always wore to sleep. He patiently waited for your breathing to slow, biting his lip nervously as he carefully pulled down his pants. 
You were so beautiful, he couldn't help himself, he was so hard it hurt. He threw his head back, trying to hold in his moans. He wanted it to be you so bad, wanted you to be the one to make him feel good. Fuck, you turned him on so much.
His long fingers grazed the side of your body, his cock twitching at the feeling of your soft skin. "Fuck" he sighed out, careful not to wake you up. His stomach tightened, his hand moving to his mouth, biting down, trying to hold in the sounds that desperately wanted to be let out. His eyes rolled back as ropes of his cum spread on his t-shirt. Look at what you do to him, he was a wreck. 
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Perv!bestfriend!jisung who brought up that he had a date that night when you both were sitting on his couch. Your face lit up as you giggled."I'm so excited for you Ji! I hope it goes well."  Instead of the grin you expected, he frowned, sucking in his teeth. "Yeah... I don't think it will" 
You tilted your head. "Why not?" 
He hesitated before answering, his voice softer. "I don't think I'm... good at kissing." 
"Well, that's something she could help you with."
"Or, you could?" He said, turning his head to look at you. 
"Jisung...don't you think that's a little much?" He leaned closer. "No, come on. We're best friends, right? We're supposed to help each other out with stuff like this." He replied. You paused, searching his face for a sign that this was some sort of joke, but he looked like he genuinely believed what he was saying. "Please?" he added softly.
How could you say no to that, best friends are supposed to be there for each other. 
"Ok, fine." You sighed, trying to convince yourself this was just one of those weird best friend moments that you could laugh at in the future. 
He smiled in return, leaning in slowly. You closed your eyes, and your lips finally met—soft at first, then growing hungrier as his hands cupped your face. His tongue brushed against yours, sending a shiver through you as he deepened the kiss. Before you knew it, he was shifting, leaning over you, his kisses growing needy.
His lips traveled down your jawline, before moving to your neck. Your fingers found their way into his hair, tugging lightly as warmth spread through you. His hands slid down your sides, exploring every inch, until his fingers skimmed the waistband of your pants.
Your eyes flew open as realization hit you. "Ok! I think you'll be fine." You blurted out, quickly sitting up and breaking the moment.
Jisung leaned back, his breathing unsteady, but a smirk on his lips as he met your wide eyes. His voice was low, teasing. "So, did I pass? Was it nice?"
You swallowed hard, trying to steady yourself. "Yeah, no, that was... great. She'll love it."
His smirk grew, his hooded eyes still locked on you. "Good to know." He murmured. 
The next day you decided to call Jisung to see how the date went.
"What date?" he asked, his tone genuinely confused.
You blinked. "Are you joking? The date you had last night? The one you needed 'practice' for?"
"Oh..." There was a pause, and you could almost hear the gears turning in his head. "That date. Yeah, I remember now. She canceled, so I just... uh, chilled in bed." He said, suspiciously.
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Perv!bestfriend!jisung who suggested you move in with him after his old roommate moved out. The idea of living with your best friend sounded perfect, so you agreed without hesitation. At first everything was great—easy, comfortable, like hanging out 24/7.
But then, you started noticing something strange. Your dirty underwear would go missing anytime before you did laundry.
"Hey Ji," you asked one evening, "not to sound weird or anything, but have you seen any of my underwear? A few pairs seem to disappear."
Jisung glanced up from his phone, his expression nonchalant. "Nope, haven't seen them." He said with a shrug, his face giving nothing away, but every time you brought it up, the missing pieces would mysteriously reappear in your laundry basket, as if they'd never been gone. It was strange—so strange—but you didn't think on it for too long. Maybe it was just one of those weird coincidences... that's what you wanted to believe.
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Perv!bestfriend!jisung who lingers in the hallway with just a towel draped around his waist, waiting for you to notice.
"Oh, oh my gosh!" You gasped, nearly choking on your water when you saw him on the way back to his room. "What?" He replied while glancing at you, shaking his damp hair, inching closer to you. "Nothing..." you mumbled, still processing the sight in front of you. You slowly walked closer, your eyes scanning him from head to toe. "I've just never seen you like this before."
"Do you like it?" he asked, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he stepped closer to you, his towel hanging low on his v-line.
"Do I like it?" You blinked, your gaze lingering for a moment longer than necessary. Jisung's grin widened as you took in the view. Instead of responding you just giggled, shaking your head as you walked past him, brushing your shoulder lightly against his, leaving him standing there in the hallway alone, and now with a boner.
He wanted you on your knees in front of him so bad, making him feel good. Want those delicate lips wrapped around his tip. Tears brimmed in your eyes as you took him deeply in your mouth, his large hands tangled in your hair.
He wants to fuck that pretty face so bad, wants to paint it with his cum. It was a sight he had to see.
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Perv!bestfriend!jisung who invited you to play a game in his room, insisting you'd have more fun sitting on his lap.
He played the first round before passing you the controller, his hand slickly resting on your thigh. As you adjusted yourself, you would find yourself accidentally grinding against him. He didn’t say anything, but you felt something pressed against your ass. It was a normal reaction, you thought. 
"Y/n."  He groaned softly, his voice low and strained. 
"Hm?" You hummed out, focused on the game.
"You still owe me, right?" He asked, his fingers inching higher up your thigh. "Can you do something for me now?"
"What do you want me to do?" You asked hesitantly, gasping when one of his hands gripped your thigh, the other wrapping lightly around your throat.
"You make me feel so good." He murmured against your neck, his voice sending shivers down your spine. His hands guided you, moving you slowly back and forth on his lap. You set the controller down on the desk, gripping his knees for balance. "Ji..." you moaned softly, your voice barely audible.
"You sound so pretty." He gasped, his pace quickening as he moved against you. "Oh my god... I'm not gonna last." His hand slid between your thighs, his fingers teasing you desperately as his grip tightened around your waist. "Fuck, gonna cum." he whimpered, his movements growing frantic before he released, holding you tightly.
He let go of your throat, his hand falling limp against your thigh as he leaned back to catch his breath. He grabbed the controller from the desk and resumed the game like nothing had happened. 
"Um Ji... I'm gonna go shower." You stuttered, standing up on shaky legs. As you turned to look at him, your eyes caught the cum stain on his gray sweatpants.
"Ok, have a good night.” He said with a smile, as if nothing was out of the ordinary.
"You too..." you mumbled, closing the door behind you, still a tad bit shaken up.
Later that night, as you passed by his room, you froze at the sound of him moaning your name, his voice filled of desperation.
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random percy headcanons:
wants to be the photographer friend SO bad and he technically is but like 70% of the pics come out blurry or weird bc there was a monster attack in the middle of them. his instagram is truly so chaotic looking.
literally always has seashells on him someone will ask him for a pencil or spare change and he has to empty all his pockets of shells to find it. drops his backpack and a bunch of shells fall out. kicks his shoes off and sand and shells fly out and his mortal friends are like percy What the Fuck
his eyes glow underwater!! bioluminescent king. no one told him though and he didn't find out until he joined his school's swim team and terrified everyone (he managed to convince them his contacts were having a weird reaction to chlorine lmao)
he really likes art!! he doesn't just pretend to for rachel's sake he genuinely enjoys painting with her. he likes splatter paint, collages and pop art styles the best. one day after splitting some edibles they realized percy could manipulate water colors and went CRAZY with it
will ask to be excused during class and comes back like an hour later with scorch marks all over his face bleeding from one of his ears covered in dust missing three fingernails rips in his jeans and a fat lip and the teacher is like percy what the actual hell were you doing in the bathroom all this time and he's just like uhhhhhh I have ibs
the brand from camp jupiter did unfortunately (for sally) Unlock something in him lmfao he keeps getting shitty little tattoos. usually stick-n-poke but someone's friends cousin's girlfriend's brother has a gun that gets brought to parties every now and then. most of them are sloppy but you can tell what they are HOWEVER he has one that was supposed to be a seal that came out looking like one of those shitty ms paint crying memes. annabeth laughed at him for ten minutes straight when she saw it.
he wanted to dye his hair blue but he was too chicken to bleach his entire head so he just did the tips. his hair is curly though so it looks absolutely ridiculous but he loves it
percy and annabeth get a crusty little yappy white dog in college and he carries it around like a baby lmao
back to his chaotic instagram, he's got so many pics of him like, relaxing at the bottom of the mariana trench or hugging a giant squid or riding on a whale shark and his mortal friends all think he's just really good at photoshop and this is a very specific bit he decided to commit to. they're always like lol percy where do you even FIND these pictures are you subscribed to like scientific journals for the laughs? but no he just took them all on his shell phone
has an ongoing prank war with annabeth's little brothers bobby and matthew but like it's Unhinged. they're playing 5D chess and she has no idea whats going on
weird tshirts!!! he loves them! like
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shit like this or those 'women want me fish fear me' shirts, anything with a funny or incomprehensible slogan is going in his closet right along with his band tees lmfao
bought estelle a panda pillow pet when she was born 🥺
can NOT bring himself to eat seafood no matter how many times poseidon has told him its fine. he's like NO these are my FRIENDS JONATHAN WAS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS GRANDDAUGHTERS WEDDING LITERALLY YESTERDAY WHY IS HE ON A PLATTER DAD. they had to give up and just start eating normal land food at the palace every time he comes to visit lmfao
gets into horsegirl antics with hazel she NEEDS to know everything the horses have to say. they spend hours gossiping in the stables.
movie nights in the poseidon cabin were 10000% a thing and when he was missing annabeth and thalia and grover (and a few others) would still sleep in there every now and then and talk about how much they miss him :(
percy and beckendorf had the worlds most elaborate handshake
he DOES impulse buy stuff just because they're ocean-themed. stuffed animals, home decor, school supplies, clothes, you name it he bought it if theres like a fish on it
has more scars from crashing off his skateboard than he does from monster attacks
grover is somehow the only person who's ever noticed percy is severely claustrophobic
has a deep passion for adele. I can't explain this one I just feel and know it to be true.
he and annabeth both proposed to each other at the same time and they were SO mad about it they kept yelling over each other's speeches lmao
he can SING but he doesn't know it. sally keeps trying to record him singing to himself but something always happens to the camera and she loses the evidence
called chiron a brony one time and mr d thought it was so funny he was nice to percy for an entire week
the camp keeps trying to convince him to teach sword fighting lessons to the younger kids but he can NOT bring himself to swing a sword at a 9 year old so he keeps getting injured
has the most complicated iced coffee order in the world his go-to local coffee shop finally just put the damn drink on the menu and named it after him
he IS the quiet kid in the back of your math class that always has his hood up to try and hide his headphones and eats increasingly elaborate meals out of his backpack when the teacher isn't looking. one time someone caught him with a rotisserie chicken in the middle of a geometry final.
he argued that he DID have enough to share with the class
currently obsessed with the image of him knocking back a container of sea salt as if it was a shot and his mortal friends being like hey! what the actual fuck! and he's just like uhhhhh anemia kills!
its his birthday<3
5K notes · View notes
jnnul · 11 months ago
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riding enhypen hc's <3
a/n: entirely self-indulgent filth is at your service! i spiraled & sunoo's is genuinely dangerous. word count: 1.4k genre: nsfw...straight smut.
yang jungwon
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freaks out
when you asked him if you could ride him, he freaked out
first, he had to figure out the logistics, then why you wanted to do it in the first place, then - !
you tell him to just stop thinking and let you make him feel good
so when he hesitantly agrees, he's still worried you're somehow going to manage to hurt yourself
until you finally, finally ease yourself down, pausing every so often to get used to his length
and then you bottom out
and jungwon sees heaven
he's too busy trying not to cum like a virgin the second you bottom out to remember why he was so worried in the first place
looking at his expression, you move to lift yourself off of him when his hands find your hips and keep you seated
"don't move. feels good."
you almost laugh at the neanderthal language your boyfriend is using but suddenly, he's guiding your hips forward and you're too shocked to laugh
goddamn. you knew it would feel good for him but not this good
jungwon never tries to control your movements when you have sex but clearly, this was a new experience for him
you like it. a lot.
as you do it more often and jungwon gets more used to it, he likes being a little more dominant by telling you to stop or keep going
mostly because knowing that you like it makes him horny as fuck
lee heeseung
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b e g s you to do it
except he manages to do it in a way where you’re convinced that it was your idea in the first place
tries his best to keep his hands to himself
fails every time
kinda like jungwon, his hands always just naturally gravitate towards your hips
loves to control your pace and drag your hips slowly against his
bc he knows how much you hate it
he makes sure to bring you to the edge and rip your pleasure away at the last second
he's a fucking asshole (and you tell him as much) but he just laughs and kisses your tears away
definitely the type to tell you to sit slowly only to knock the wind out of you by thrusting suddenly
loves it when you grab his shoulders, trying to steady yourself
he gets such an ego boost when your thighs are shaking, and your grip on his body is too tight
he likes knowing that he's the single man on earth who could make you feel this good
will 100% kiss your collarbone when you're leaning over him
riding him is fun, teasing but also really romantic when he wants to be
absolutely will not flip you over, even when you get tired
"you're tired? that's alright, baby. we've got all night and nowhere to be."
park jongseong
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such a cutie patootie bc he's always thinking abt if you're going through too much trouble
honestly, you would only be able to ride him when he's really tired
or when he's feeling a little down or when you just wanna spoil him
bc he l o v e s it when you ride him but he's always so worried abt you :(
sits against the headboard so that you can have more stability
presses so many kisses against your chest and neck
loves it when you're slow and grinding against him, just enjoying how full he makes you feel
loves it even more when you're riding him like it's the only thing you can think of doing in that moment
absolutely runs his hands up and down your thighs as you wrap your arms around his neck to kiss him
always is kissing you btw
no matter how fucked out you are (or he is, tbh) he's always kissing you bc you're going out of your way to make him feel good
just so incredibly love w you
will absolutely be asking if you want him to flip you over and make you feel good
doesn't believe you when you say that riding him does make you feel good
accidentally leaves bruises on your hips from how hard his grip is on you
kisses every single one of the bruises he leaves because he feels so sorry :(
definitely a groaner and his head falls back when you bottom out
he's such a romantic omg
jake sim
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so excited cannot control himself
will beg you to ride him and is not ashamed of it
"yeah and you would too if your s/o was as hot as mine."
is kinda silly abt it because for him, pleasure is the ultimate goal
so even though you're riding him, he will 'accidentally' thrust upwards just to see you gasp
absolutely the type to do goofy shit in the middle to see you lose your breath
gets such an ego boost when you're sweating, trying not to cum before him when he's making it so hard for you
is a rlly sensual person so if the vibe is kinda serious, he will absolutely be pushing your hair back, pressing kisses against your shoulders
prefers you to ride him when the two of you are sitting
like sitting in an armchair or some shit
he feels like he's closer to you and he rlly likes the feeling of you clinging to him (kinda like heeseung)
is super versatile? like he gets turned on by pretty much everything and is into everything
so he can go from having a rlly serious vibe and kissing you senseless while you're seated full of him
to bouncing you on his dick faster than you can even register the switch
gets such a kick of adrenaline when you're fucked thoughtless when you're riding him
especially when you're babbling nonsense about how you don't want to stop and that you're in love w his dick
ABSOLUTELY goes feral for the praise
park sunghoon
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one serving of a cocky ass mf when you first suggest it ("LMAOO you like like me")
kinda like jay in that he feels bad at first bc he rlly only lets you do it when he's feeling rlly tired
or when he just wants to be taken care of
since most of the time, he likes it for you to just sit back and relax
when he finally gives in though, he enjoys it to the fullest
absolutely accidentally edges you while he edges himself
everything feels so intense that he just needs you to stop every so often for you to catch your breath
and for him to get his head straight
but his thoughts grow cloudier and cloudier the longer you ride him
eventually, he gives up the reigns to you and that's when the fun really begins
he's such a sweetie when he's so far gone
tries his best to be quiet but just starts babbling when you ride him like it's the only thing you can think of doing
his hands are all over your body, trying to find something to anchor himself to
mark. him. up.
loves feeling special to you and feeling like you'd never give anyone else the chance to make you feel good like this
i wouldn't say that he's subby necessarily but he kinda gives into a more gentle and pliable side of him that you normally don't see
and when he cums, good god praise him so much pls :( he deserves it
kim sunoo
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actually the best person to ever ride (i say this from personal experience)
slightly more dominant than usual because he loves seeing you melt when he takes control
snaps his hips up when you least expect it to see you whimper
gets such an ego boost when you lose your strength and fall into his arms
will hold you close to his chest as he fucks into you
kisses you when you're leaning into him
very slow and steady and purposeful with his movements, making you want more when he does the slightest movements
laughs when you nearly pass out after you cum (not in a mean way) (in a slightly mean way)
thinks you're absolutely adorable and likes watching you fumble for a couple moments before he starts guiding you
honestly probably doesn't let you do it very often bc he has to be in a very specific mindset for it
probably only happens when you're feeling RLLY needy
it's also probably just foreplay to him before he flips you over and fucks you until your mind goes absolutely blank
might even get freaky with it
do not get surprised if he ties your hands behind your back with a tie or smth
and tells you to 'get moving' in teasing way
overall, unlocks a side of him that you rarely get but absolutely love every time that you see it
3K notes · View notes
kerink · 1 month ago
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the thing that's been most surprising to me with mouthwashing so far is how little empathy people are willing to extend to curly. and i don't mean this in a piss on the poor way, i'm deeply saddened and genuinely confused by it.
when i first played the game i was at one of the lowest points i've been at in a really long time. my mental health is bad my physical health is bad. i experienced SA a year ago and was recently diagnosed with cancer. i have 2-5 doctors appointments every week with various specialists.
all the while me and two of my doctors are talking about if i need to make a career change that's going to best support my poor health and improve my overall well being. and my family and friends struggle to understand, because i have a doctorate and a good job and live on my own. everyone looks at my life in awe, and they don't understand why i'm unhappy. they tell me so every time i try to explain it.
so when i played i immediately identified with curly. here is a man who's deeply depressed, having hallucinations, trying to reach out to his best friend for support but just has his words thrown back in his face, doesn't want to burden anya with his stuff because she has her own stuff and he wants her to lean on him, he has all these responsibilities and people look up to him and rely on him and have these ideas about him. the highest wrung of their ladder is the lowest of his, and they have no way of conceptualizing why or how he's unhappy and dissatisfied. before the reveal that he's innocent, i completely understood why he attempted suicide.
and then he develops a new disability.
when jimmy goes to crash the ship, he uses curly's unhappiness to try to convince him a murder-suicide is a good idea, and it works. it buys jimmy enough time to get to the cockpit and crash the ship. curly's too in his own head to realize what jimmy meant because jimmy distracted him with how bad his life is. it isn't until the sirens start that curly snaps out of it and it clicks for him what jimmy's done.
i'm not going to re-litigate the issue about if curly could have done more for anya because i've said pretty much all i have to say on it already.
but we really need to highlight that in addition to his lack of tangible choices, he's sleep deprived, deeply depressed, and hallucinating. this is not a man in his right mind making his best choices.
and over and over again i see people refusing to extend him any empathy, to call him a bystander. does a man who says he'll do anything to help and who wanted to be there when anya broke the news and who does his best to play liaison between anya and jimmy sound like a bystander? he let anya keep the gun case! he knew having it would help her feel better!
how good of a friend have you been when you were in your pit of despair? how much were you able to pour into others when your glass was empty?
anya wanted her and curly's support to be reciprocal. if she has enough psych training to do the evals, and having been thru nursing school, she's probably well aware that she and curly need to both be pouring into each other if either of them are going to be any good to anyone. but curly is so determined to defend and protect anya he won't confide in her, despite the fact it's running him so thin that he almost takes jimmy's bait that suicide is a good idea.
i don't think we need to absolve curly of his responsibility. i don't think we should over look his role as an enabler. i don't think we should discredit or discount analyses of his failures. but i'm so tired of people actively avoiding getting in his shoes, getting in his head, reflecting on how they've acted in the past when thinking and feeling similar ways. our worst moments don't make us monsters.
it makes me so sad. and frankly it makes me feel like all the times my family hasn't understood when i've tried to reach out. curly is screaming in agony and just like jimmy we're just trying to keep him quiet because it's too complicated to deal with.
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vampjaeyun · 14 days ago
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NETFLIX & CHILL
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PAIRING loser!jake x maneater fem!reader | wc: 1.2k
SYNOPSIS “Do you seriously not know the meaning behind ‘Netflix and chill?’”
WARNINGS reader is in heat lmfao, soft jake, dry humping, hickeys
NOTES IF THIS SEEMS FAMILIAR, ITS BECAUSE I WROTE THIS FOR MARK ON MY NCT BLOG!!! I revamped it because I wanted to post something for jake's birthday but I haven't finished the one-shot im writing for him, so enjoy this for now <3
happy late birthday to my side piece, xo
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WHAT IS JAKE SIM HERE FOR?
Tapping at your thigh, your impatience grows after every second that passes.  
You're not typically this horny or impatient, but to set the scene, you met Jake on the first day of classes.  As everyone filed into the auditorium and the professor began rambling, he took the seat alongside yours.  Throughout the first week of school, you started talking to him, sharing mutual interests and small talk.  You think he's awfully cute.  So you went ahead and texted him, wanting to "Netflix and chill" this weekend.  Maybe you were being too direct, but the deed had already been done, so you chose to embrace it. 
He doesn’t hesitate with a ‘for sure’ text back, not asking further questions or details about your request.  You smile at that, itching to explore another side of the cute boy who you see in class. 
The day arrives, and he walks over to your flat, smiling affectionately as the door swings open.  You both laugh and fond over each other while he cooks dinner and joins you afterward at the dinner table. He's so funny and sweet you realize, finally conversing about things other than school; it influences you to increase your expectations, and you wonder why hookups aren't typically like this. 
Now you're both adjacent to each other, your body cuddling up to his side as the movie plays. It's amusing since Jake hasn't made a single move towards you all night.  Aside from the arm around your shoulder, he hasn't attempted to sneak his arm any lower.  And he hasn't turned to face you since coming in contact with the couch.   Perhaps he changed his mind?  The movie is almost over, and the line has yet to be crossed. But the voice in the back of your head tells you that just because he didn't plan to tonight doesn't mean he doesn't want to, right?  A glimmer of optimism just helps to persuade you more, and once you dig a hole, you only dig deeper.
He laughs at a comedic moment in the film and you find it adorable.  He’s so invested and that’s when you finally realize Jake seriously didn’t come here to have sex with you.  It’s not his intention at all. His kindness and investment into everything you both did tonight is probably an effort into a full-on date. 
But this only made you more horny and attracted to him.  Fuck, you want to jump his bones so fucking bad.  And shit, you feel terrible because your mind and body are telling you to rip off the bandaid.  The pulsing want you have for this man is almost uncomfortable.  
You’re cursing yourself but like a bitch in heat you’re already escalating the situation. 
“Jake, the movie’s almost over,” you look up at him. 
He’s chuckling at your random commentary then looking down at you, “Yeah, it’s almost over.” 
“It’s almost over, and I invited you to Netflix and chill,” you pout.  Maybe the phrase ‘Netflix and chill’ flew over his head but it couldn’t be. You recall texting him the exact words.  There’s no way someone could misinterpret that.  Right? 
He blinks at you as if he’s unable to process your response. 
“Aren’t we doing that right now?” he quirks.  Maybe he’s genuinely clueless or the facade is running right past you, but you are fully convinced Jake has no idea about the ulterior motive of the popular phrase.
No one could guess Jake Sim would be the one who doesn’t know this term.  Maybe a stereotypical nerd whose internet consumption is strictly educational research.  Never judge a book by its cover, they said.  But you haven’t fully related to the metaphor until now.  Jake Sim’s cover has the term ‘fuckboy’ written all over.  Right to the Chrome Hearts hoodie and silver chain that looks like it belongs there.  
It’s alarming.  So alarming, that you have to sit up from Jake’s side to face him clearly.  Your brain is moving at a million miles per minute as you try to grasp the idea of how Jake doesn’t know the popular booty-call slang, head tilted to the side and all.
“Is there something wrong?” he questions. It’s beyond innocent.  His wide eyes give away the sincere worry he has and all you want to do is jump his bones.  
You smirk, “Do you seriously not know the meaning behind ‘Netflix and chill?’”
He pauses, staring like a deer in headlights, “It has another meaning? What else would it mean?” 
“Jakie,” you inch closer to him, so much that your noses brush at the nickname. “You’re so cute,” you utter slowly as you straddle him with one leg on each side of his thighs.  Thankfully, you wore a skirt, so the thin panties are the only thing obstructing the feeling of the rough material of his jeans.   
The poor boy beneath you flinches as you move so seductively in slow motion.  You’re glancing up to gauge his reactions and you swear you see a shadow of darkness in those chocolate orbs.  If that wasn’t enough for you to completely lose control, you follow his tongue gliding along his bottom lip and all you want to do is bite his lips until they’re bleeding.
“Why’d you agree to my text, but won’t do just that?” his breath hitches as you slightly move around on him, but it doesn’t have much of an effect because you’re not directly where he needs it most. 
“W-what?” he stutters slightly.  So cute.
“It means,” you bring your lips to graze his earlobe. “You wanna fuck,” u purr and he freezes at the revelation. 
“You wanna fuck while some stupid movie plays in the background,” at this, your hips move directly above his crotch and the weight of your body forces him to groan softly in pleasure. 
“It’s j-just an excuse,” You whimper as you move sensually against him.  Jake's hooded eyes tenderly glance at you, his erection slowly increasing against his jeans as the scene progresses. Because of his hesitation, his hands have yet to find homage at your hips, and you almost grab them to move them yourself. “You can touch me, you know.  Don’t be afraid.  I’m all yours,” you rasp, and the boy you’ve been crushing on crumbles underneath your fingertips. 
You waste no time chasing more pleasure,  continuing to drag your lips against his neck, sucking and biting to leave rosy marks on his flesh. Your fingers tangle in his hair, unknowingly tugging on his locks, only for him to squirm beneath you.  His rough hands attempt to steer your hips and it's not quite enough for you to cum, but the zipper rubbing against your clothed clit sends a buzz up your spine, and you moan against his neck. 
"Will you do it?" You resume licking a stripe from his collarbone to his jaw.  When you notice the overflowing lust painted on his features, you can't help but beam a grin.  
"Yes," he gasps at the sensation of your motions against him.  
"I'll do it."
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dumbpsique · 2 months ago
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BLUE LOCK BOYS.
synopsis: "where's the trophy? he just comes runnin' over to me"
characters: chigiri hyoma, bachira meguru, yukimiya kenyu, reo mikage.
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CHIGIRI feels full of himself when he scores that goal, he was surpassing his limits and achieving his dream. the entire stadium screams, but overtakes his teammates who try to celebrate with him, turning towards you. Oh yes, you also had that fierce look on your face, like someone who always rooted for him. That's it, Chigiri runs to you, arms already open, he was sweaty, but he forgot about that for a now. Grabs your waist and takes your feet off the ground for a moment. You scream in his ear that you are proud, absolutely thrilled, he was so happy that for now he didn't even complain that you almost left him deaf. (I guarantee you that your hug was on the cover of gossip sites for at least a month. Oh, and you became a famous couple on tiktok fr
He wasn't used to having anyone other than his mother rooting for him. BACHIRA scores that goal and the only thing that runs through your mind is running towards you, the steric screams of the fans become even louder when he hugs your body, you hold his shoulders, feeling a sudden urge to cry with happiness. He shouts amidst the other screams “I love you, girl” and you just kiss him. being with Bachira makes it feel like the world could stop for a few moments just for the two of you. You release him, shaking his sweat-damp hair and he returns to the field laughing like a fucking crazy dude. So many photos were taken of this moment that it seemed crazy (he definitely put one of these profile photos on his Instagram)
he is absolutely the type of boyfriend who is devoted to you. YUKIMIYA already knew he would score that goal, and to be honest, he had wanted to put that plan into practice for a long time. You were there, screaming for him the entire game, even if you were going to have no voice the next day. He laughs, genuinely laughs, God, he was in love with you! He runs, holding you just like a fucking Disney princess, spinning you around while you laugh too. So cute, ughhhh. Your hands rest on his shoulders, your chest full of adrenaline and pride. >>>>Get ready to see edits of this with the sweetest songs you can think of.<<<<
REO already started playing with girls cheering him on, but having you there, oh, that was different. When his goal happens, he immediately gets up from the pitch, heading towards it. Your eyes widen when he almost knocks you both to the ground. "GOAL" he shouts as if you hadn't already noticed, but it doesn't bother you. you shout "GOAL" back, laughing. He kisses your cheek hard, grabbing your waist. When he realizes that all the cameras are pointed at the two of you, he smiles even more convinced, raising yours hand, showing the expensive ring he had given you. (Girl, good luck, because you had to watch the entire internet fall in love with your man and call him "BF material" aaaaarghhh.
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taylor swift, i love your romantic songs do bad🫠
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malleleothreesome · 1 year ago
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Leona who is pining after you...
💛 summary: Cohesive blurbs about things Leona would do and what he would be like if he were pining after you. ༶༶༶ 💛 warnings: gender neutral reader, unedited, pretty much just a stream of my thoughts. There is cursing. Very angsty but also has romance. Mentions of depressive thoughts. A very raw look into Leona's mind. There is smut (wet dream) in the middle, marked with 🔞 if you want to skip to the next bullet. ༶༶༶ 💛 word count: 4.7k because I'm delulu
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💛 Leona who is pining after you... tries to gaslight himself and cling to any sort of logical explanation he can come up with to try to convince himself that he definitely does not have feelings for you. It was probably just a one-time thing, and he just needs to find a way to get you out of his head. He's never thought about anyone this way before, so it's definitely just an error in his brain chemistry or something. It was only a coincidence that he happened to be thinking about you at that particular time, and if you had never been on his mind at all, his heart wouldn't be beating so fast every time he interacts with you. He would never allow himself to develop feelings for anyone, especially you, so he must not actually have any. It's really that simple. It couldn't possibly be that he's fallen for some weird, magicless human, right? Right?! There has to be something medically wrong with him! He must be crazy to have these kinds of thoughts about a stranger who just randomly poofed into existence at the beginning of the semester. Why did you invade his dreams? It doesn't matter! What the hell is wrong with him?!
It has to be a mistake, because there is no way he would EVER fall for someone as annoying and boring as you are, even if you do seem to have a better understanding of him than the people who have known him his whole life, and you treat him like he actually matters instead of seeing him as the scumbag you probably should have gotten to know better before giving him your time and attention. It's not like he genuinely cares what you think of him, anyway – he’s just grateful that he doesn't have to deal with another person treating him like a failure or a lazy, worthless piece of shit.
The way you look at him like he could be someone worth loving despite his constant tirade of anger is definitely not a key factor in him caring for you. Your smile and laugh makes his chest feel funny, and the fact that he is suddenly hyper-aware of his body when he's around you is probably just a symptom of mental or physical illness. Maybe he’s finally eaten too much red meat and he’s about to succumb to heart disease at the ripe age of 20. Perhaps he simply hasn't rubbed one out in a while and he’s thinking with his dick and not his head? He's definitely not attracted to you, and he's absolutely not thinking about what it would be like to kiss you right now. That would just be insane, and he can't believe he even let himself entertain the thought! He’d rather die than think about what it would be like to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him as you sit on his lap, looking down at him with that beautiful smile and those cunning eyes of yours, gently stroking his face as you lean down to press your lips against his… oh, god dammit!
💛 Leona who is pining after you… finally lays down in surrender to the fact that, alright, maybe he does have feelings for your dumb ass – against all odds. He convinces himself that he’s only humoring this pathetic little crush because it makes his monotonous, tiresome days a little more riveting. Lions are predators, and the thrill of the hunt is a key part of their nature, after all. Before you, all he had to look forward to was staring at the ceiling in his dark room for most of the day until the stars showed up in the sky, or until he got roped into housewarden drama and became too frustrated to do anything other than restlessly pace around Savanaclaw before eventually confining himself back to the comforting solitude of his room. He tells himself he might as well allow himself the small luxury of thinking about someone who doesn’t entirely annoy the shit out of him, because he could sure as hell use the emotional relief. At least this way, he isn’t actively thinking about how much he hates his life, and how much he hates himself for letting it become this way. Besides, what would be the harm in letting himself entertain the idea that maybe, just maybe – if he was lucky enough – you could be the first person to ever break down the walls he built to keep himself from getting hurt by other people? Plus, if nothing else, you make for such a pretty daydream.
Every moment he spends with you makes him want you to keep sticking around even after everything is said and done. You can actually keep up with his banter, which is probably why he can actually stand being around you in the first place. No one else is capable of keeping up with his quick wit, or of providing him with a good challenge. You aren't scared off by his harsh demeanor, and you're able to stand up to him when he gets a little too overbearing. You don't take his bullshit, but you still care about his well being and treat him with respect. Despite his public struggles, you don’t see him as some sort of charity case. He's never met anyone else who is able to be so firm with him, but gentle at the same time. He didn't know someone could have such a strong presence without even having magic, but you're somehow always able to pull the rug out from under him, showing him that you're much more powerful than he initially gave you credit for. You're a real pain in his ass sometimes, but you're also the only person in years who's made him feel like life might actually be worth living. Maybe these feelings aren't so bad after all…
💛 Leona who is pining after you… starts leaving his room more often and even attending classes again, hoping he'll run into you on campus. If he doesn't see you, that would suck, but he knows if he stays in his room all day, then he'd risk losing the chance to spend the day with you completely. Besides, if there's even the slightest possibility, seeing you could be the highlight of his day and make even his shittiest days seem almost bearable. When you finally show up, he throws a casual greeting and a nonchalant raise of a single brow, pretending like he coincidentally ran into you in the crowd and totally didn't memorize your class schedule. When your face lights up, telling him you were glad to run into him, his pulse races and for a split second, a goofy grin flashes on his face and he desperately starts fighting his tail from swishing eagerly behind him. All he does is mumble in agreement, then shove his hands in his pockets, rolling his eyes like this isn't what he's been waiting for since he woke up. He says he might as well join you in the cafeteria, because he's starving and it's that time anyway, so whatever.
As you enter the lunch line, your face falls in disappointment when you realize your favorite sandwich is sold out. Leona expected something like this would happen, so he asked Ruggie to grab him one of that type of sandwich along with his usual order, on the chance that he would get to spend lunch with you. He looks to his right, glancing at your slumped shoulders as your mood seems to deflate a little as a frown forms on your face. He steps forward and grumbles an off-hand comment that he snagged one earlier for himself, but since you look so pitiful, he'll let you have it, only because he doesn't want to deal with your incessant whining the whole lunch. When you gape up at him, shocked by his thoughtful gesture, his face starts burning red as he quickly turns away, aggressively stuffing a bite of food in his face to make himself look distracted. When he happens to catch your thankful eyes glistening at him, it feels like the air has been punched right out of his lungs, and the small smile and sincere gratitude tugging on the corner of your lips causes his stomach to do backflips. How annoying that his usually stoic demeanor always falls apart in front of you.
💛 Leona who is pining after you... constantly teases you and tries to embarrass you, attempting to make it sound like you're the one pining for him (even if you're not!) just to try to distract you from the truth. He teases you relentlessly, hoping it’ll make it so you won't feel confident calling him out on the little ways he treats you differently than everyone else. He loves seeing you get flustered trying to deny it, but he also uses it as an opportunity to study your reactions, trying to deduce your real feelings for him by the color in your cheeks, the wavering of your voice, how often you avert your eyes, and how quickly you fire back with an argument. The smirk that emerges on his face tells you exactly that he's not convinced, even if you deny everything. He may be subtle about it, but he uses every opportunity he can find to feel you out, to see if there's even the slightest possibility you might feel something for him. He'll never let you know how badly he wants it to be true with every fiber of his being. He’d be absolutely thrilled if you confessed to him, but he’ll never show it, because it's far more comfortable hiding behind sarcasm. His prideful, guarded heart prevents him from expressing genuine positive emotions and potentially opening himself up to any type of mockery.
💛 Leona who is pining after you... slowly becoming more attached to the idea of you falling for him. As the weeks go by and he hears you giggle as you argue with him, his thoughts linger a bit more when they try to calculate why he's not actually feeling burnt out from spending so much time with you. His patience with the rest of the world starts waning, not really bothering to deal with anyone or anything that could distract him from basking in your aura for as long as possible. He even takes a more active role in interacting with you, whether you two are chatting as he sits on a bench in the botanical gardens, or hanging out after-hours in his room, hoping that this could eventually become a common routine. He loves learning about you and the world you come from. When you open up about your background, he enjoys getting a glimpse into your mind. His brain starts rapidly filing away little details about you, creating a catalog of thoughts for each of his favorite things about you, or the little quirks you have that he secretly finds endearing. The memories of conversations where you both held each other's gaze for a fraction of a second longer than normal or the accidental touches that cause his heart to skip a beat come to life with a vibrance never seen in other parts of his memory bank. The time you grabbed his hand because the tree branches kept making “spooky” noises around you and the time you playfully messed up his hair (even daring to cop a feel of his ear in the process!), are some of his favorite memories to revisit.
As you two grow closer and more comfortable with each other, he pretends to be annoyed at you more often, only because he wants to test how well you can read him, and also how far he can push you. He revels in the way he feels a spark in his chest and a faint smile tugs at the corner of his lips whenever your eyes meet. He tries hard to remind himself that the growing heat rising to his face every time you grin at him is all because of the temperature. His playful touches start to become more sensual, his voice dips deeper and more seductive as his hands linger on your skin, his breath fanning against your face and neck with every taunting word spoken. He hates himself for loving the way you bite your lip and blush under his gaze as he continues to run his hand up your arm, causing your eyelids to flutter. He loves the feeling of power your vulnerable, affectionate expression grants him, the rush of endorphins so great he thinks his entire body might collapse. When he pulls his hand back, the stinging absence leaves him in a state of panic, terrified that this might have been the moment you'd realize how he feels about you and finally flee. In an effort to swallow his vulnerability and save face, he'll cover up his aroused desire with aggression. With a bite in his tone, he'll lash out at you, mocking the way you acted so touch-starved and desperate in the heat of the moment, even though the only one truly desperate here is him. He has to force himself to maintain eye contact and an air of dominance with you while he snaps at you, even as he feels his throat tighten, heart slamming against his ribs. He metaphorically shoves you away and leaves before he loses control, before his raw affection for you spills from his lips like a confession.
💛 🔞 Leona who is pining after you... fast asleep as he lies alone in bed, your figure haunting his dreams. Right before he fell asleep, he was having a particularly bad day and he found himself clinging to a fantasy of holding you in his arms, using you as an anchor to help him process the dread of reality. On a typical night, all he has are his regrets and unanswered questions swirling around in his subconscious, but tonight is different – he falls asleep dreaming about being curled up against your warmth, wondering what it would be like for you to stroke his hair, gently reminding him that there's at least one good thing to wake up for, no matter how empty the day may feel.
As he falls deeper into his slumber, his eyelids begin to twitch and his long eyelashes tickle his flushed cheekbones. He finds himself lost within a dreamy state that feels so very real to him as your face fades into focus. You're kneeling beside him in the bed, and his body is covered in the sheets, with your arms wrapped underneath his shoulder. He can barely tell whether or not this is really a dream at this point as you rest your head against his. He can feel his body stirring and his tail twitching, roused by the comforting and blissful affection. The way you smile at him as you run your thumb along the curvature of his sharp jawline stirs a dormant ache in his soul as you lean forward and leave featherlight kisses in the crook of his neck, causing him to whimper under his breath. He buries his nose in the locks of your hair, desperately wrapping his arms around your waist, pushing your face deeper into the space between his neck and shoulder, craving the coziness and comfort of being physically close to the source of his yearning. In his dreams, your lips are able to be as soft and gentle as they are fierce and demanding, as the grip he has on reality grows weaker the longer he lets himself be trapped under the intoxicating spell you cast upon him, rendering him at the mercy of his deepest desires.
His breath becomes more labored and hitched, his temperature rising as a flush spreads across his face. His body starts moving involuntarily and he buries his hips further into his mattress, his aching cock desperate to be touched, throbbing as his precum smears against the sheets. He begins humping the bed, whining from the friction against his bare skin as he pulls you closer in his dream, shamelessly chasing after the erotic thoughts racing through his mind, fueled by the illusion of having you in his possession – ready to be ravished and worshiped by him and him alone. His full lips part as he moans your name. He thrashes around in his bed, a tingling, aching need radiates throughout his groin as his back arches off of the sheets, grinding his cock against the fabric of his blanket. He can almost feel the warmth of your body as he bucks his hips upwards once more, desperate for your heat. His fingers twitch as they clutch tighter onto the fabric, desperately trying to grab onto the illusion of you instead, wishing he could feel the texture of your skin underneath his fingertips. In his hazy state, he bites his lips and runs his fingers down his sculpted abdomen, his hand with a mind of its own, aching to reach lower. With a sigh of pleasure, he teases the tip of his leaking, throbbing erection as the muscles in his legs quiver with anticipation. He pushes his thumb against the slit of his tip, already wet with his excitement. He slowly rubs circles around his cockhead, causing his breath to hitch and his cock jerk at the sensation. In his unconscious mind, it's not his hand gripping his shaft – it's yours.
He wraps his large hand around the length of his dick, letting out a moan of pleasure as he starts to stroke, his pace increasing steadily with each pump, imagining what it would be like to have you kneeling between his spread legs, looking up at him as you jerk him off, begging to be fucked by him. His cock twitches and aches to be inside of you, to see your lewd expression as his dick fills you, his senses overwhelmed by the sight of you under him, sprawled out, sweaty and splayed wide open for the taking, gasping for air in between broken moans. His hips buck into his hand and he lets out a low growl as he feels the pressure building within him, feeling himself getting closer to the edge. He quickens the pace as he squeezes the base of his cock, stroking faster and faster, trying to keep up with the intensity of his dream. He wants to feel your velvety walls squeezing around him, milking every drop of cum from his throbbing cock. He pants heavily as the sensation of ecstasy courses through his body, moaning your name as he orgasms, his back arching off of the bed as he cums all over his hand, shooting thick ropes of hot cum onto his abs. He slows his pace, riding out his orgasm, lazily stroking his cock as it pulsates through his veins, feeling the aftershocks of pleasure tingling down his spine. With a final moan of satisfaction, he collapses on his bed, utterly spent from his activities. The euphoria of his orgasm fades away as he comes back to reality, slowly finding himself coming into consciousness. As he opens his eyes, the first thing he sees is the mess he made. He groans as he rolls out of bed, annoyed that he has to clean up after his wet dream before he can go back to sleep.
💛 Leona who is pining after you... falls into despair when he realizes his stupid feelings for you aren't going away – they're actually getting stronger by the day. You’ve made him feel like the world's not actually so cruel anymore, but he knows that his tiny, fragile castle is sure to crumble at any moment. Nothing good ever stays his way, does it? He's been telling himself that this was all some game. It's not like he actually wanted to be in a relationship with you, right? That would be far too much work. But what if you were actually worth the time? What if he could have someone who knew every aspect of his being and still loved and accepted him? What if he could be the person who's worthy of your beautiful, unrelenting love? Even as he chastises himself for entertaining the possibility of a relationship with anyone – especially a herbivore like you – a desperate, longing ache burrows into his bones, overpowering the cold, empty hollowness within him that had haunted him his whole life. This can't be love that he's feeling, and if it is... he knows now that love is the only strategy game in existence he's terrible at playing. There's no doubt in his mind he'll make the worst decisions imaginable because his entire being is clouded with insecurity. He is painfully aware that if he were to ever open himself up to the possibility of being with you, then his first thought would be of a thousand ways you would hurt him. He tortures himself with worries and fear, letting himself be consumed by anxiety.
The thing that frightens him most is becoming reliant on someone else for his happiness. Having someone whose opinion he actually values not thinking he is good enough for them is his worst nightmare. If there's one thing life has taught him, it's better to not have anyone at all. Besides, he doesn't even deserve you. There isn't a soul in this world who deserves someone like you – someone so selfless, understanding, empathetic, and forgiving. If you were his, you'd suffer. Your light would slowly flicker out from the darkness he would drown you in, just like everything else in his life that ever mattered to him. There is so much beauty to you that would go to waste in his care – why would someone as perfect as you ever settle for someone like him, anyway? There's no way you'd ever return his feelings. And even if you did… could he even be brave enough to allow you in? Does he have the strength to accept a heart freely offered to him? Will the scars and darkness within him allow him to accept such pure and unconditional love? He can't possibly be selfish enough to ask you to take the chance on him. You deserve to be with someone who is strong and complete – someone who can give you their whole being, wholly and unreservedly – not someone who is afraid of showing weakness, for fear of you leaving him broken-hearted. Someone who would actually have the capacity to love you like you should be loved. Not a broken, shattered shell of a Prince that could only ever give you pieces of his heart that are full of cracks.
Why the fuck does his chest hurt just thinking about the fact that you would be better off without him? It feels as if someone were stabbing his heart repeatedly, and no matter what he does, the wounds refuse to close and the blood continues to ooze through the cracks. He stares up at the dark ceiling of his dorm room as a single tear rolls down his cheek for the first time in years as he tries to cope with this excruciating feeling of hopelessness, despondency, and despair. The fear that you will one day be gone from his life grips his soul, his heart pleading with him to simply confess, yet his twisted mind forces him to remind himself of his inadequacy. What a sad, pathetic sight you would see, the once fearsome lion, pitifully pawing at your ankles as his heart poured itself at your feet, praying for the warmth of your love and the validation of your approval.
💛 Leona who is pining after you… hates how obsessed he is with you and your opinion of him. Every day he finds himself trying to be better because you make him want to try harder to make the world a brighter place. Maybe you're right, maybe he doesn't need to be King in order to lead people and do great things. Because of the friendship you two have nourished, he finally feels comfortable opening up to you and talking to you about what he's going through: his past, and how much he truly cares about everyone's safety, success, and overall happiness – a sentiment that's foreign to everyone who's ever known him in the past. Although he still can't bring himself to vocalize his emotions aloud, you now truly understand the message his eyes are always trying to relay, no matter how small the glimpse: even if he was destined for a fate in the shadows, his biggest hope is to someday become the leader he was supposed to be. His newfound vulnerability allows you to slowly chip off the armor that guards his heart and bring him peace, healing his wounded spirit. Because of you, he now understands what it feels like to be valued and treasured by another, and he feels empowered enough to put the effort into doing something to change his future for the better. It scares him how badly he wants to impress you, wanting you to be proud of how he's matured.
Before taking on the daunting task of bettering his Kingdom, he starts with something small – making a positive difference in your life. You actually make him feel useful. He loves the way you look up at him with admiration. He knows now that one of the reasons he fell for you so hard is because you always ask for his advice – knowing damn well he's the smartest person in this godforsaken place – and you actually take it. You listen to him and you value his opinions. Seeing things work out for the better when you take his advice and enact his plans gives him a rush of pride and confidence. It motivates him to keep working hard to have good ideas that benefit the world. He's always enjoyed helping people even though he's bad at putting it into words, or showing his true intentions, instead preferring to keep people guessing while he hides behind his indifference and nonchalant attitude. But now, thanks to you, he finds that the more time he spends caring about helping the people around him, the more understanding and honest he is with himself, the happier he becomes. He's feeling more confident stepping up to the plate, having less fear of letting himself or the other people he cares about down.
He started feeling honored to be the housewarden for Savanaclaw again and he actually takes the responsibility seriously, tackling issues and standing his ground with the students and teachers. He wants to set an example for others, making you proud of his actions by raising his standard. When it comes to issues in the school and within his territory, he's calm and diplomatic as he addresses issues – making sure everyone is heard and everyone walks away satisfied. No longer is he plagued by a lack of enthusiasm to make real, significant changes. He now genuinely enjoys himself, striving to go beyond his expectations to overcome his shortcomings, always pushing himself to think outside of the box. It's like the Leona of his past no longer exists, and he doesn't feel any resentment or shame at the thought, simply believing it's for the better that he finally has the strength to make room for a version of himself he can enjoy instead. Because of your guidance and patience with him, he’s slowly learning to no longer fight his introspective nature, instead choosing to work hard every day to embrace all aspects of himself – whether they be negative or positive. Every day is far from perfect, but he's allowing himself the respite of leaning on your shoulder, even though for now, it’s just as a friend and trusted ally, not as a lover. For the first time, he's happy with where his life is going and the person he is becoming. Through this whole experience of falling for you, he learned that there are still things worth fighting for, regardless of if you one day soon reciprocate his feelings or not. At least, that's what he keeps telling himself.
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I was nervous to write this because we all know that canon Leona leaves much to be desired when it comes to his story and the complexities of his character. I've spent over a year of loving him, meticulously crafting who I think he is and who I want him to be. Most days, I'm pretty sure Leona Kingscholar is just a character who exists solely inside of my mind, completely separate from the source material. So, if this resonates with you, I am very glad! Thank you for reading. I hope I was able to bring justice to my beloved Leona! If you would like to see this series with another character, please let me know. 💛 Erica Malleleothreesome
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