#Bc I spent the weekend with my family for my sisters graduation

[cassandralexxx]

manifesting that I actually learn how to play guitar.

[voidcat]

a follow up to roommate!kunikuzushi bc i can and i will and i need this. Dk how long this is (not very long im sure), gn!Reader as always, enjoy, I still don’t like storms or rainy days

when kunikuzushi returns back to your shared place from a night out with childe, he does not expect to find you back, sprawled on the couch and deep in slumber.

whenever it is holiday season, you always go and stay until the last minute, savoring your precious time at home.

so why are you here now?

for now, kuni lets you rest, it is far late into the night and he knows he needs the time and energy to recover from another night spent out with childe.

he does poke around and bother you the next morning but not pressing into it too much, just a jab here and there, some complaints about how his time alone is now cut short because of you– the last day to yourselves, you settle for a movie day, back into your routine so easily. too easy at that your head falls onto his shoulder and he does his best to protect his position.

the topic of your life back home goes over kuni until you need to go back home and retrive few items one weekend, looking for someone to accompany you, preferably with a car and all.

sitting down at the dinner table with your parents, kunikuzushi finally has a grasp of the why. your mindless nods and sounds indicating you are listening– when he knows for a fact that you are not, he has spent far too much with you to know the signs.

loading the items and furniture to the trunk, with kuni grunting every five seconds that this is not merely 'few items', that you are back on the road.

it has been an idea floating around for some time to keep up the whole roommates deal now, just thrown around here and there, even by childe and few mutual friends.

it is ideal, the two of you have grown used to one another's way of living, tricks and antics, ticks and kicks. it is only logical to keep this up, graduation or not.

"so tell me again how you got ajax agreeing to lend you his car?" your voice draws him out of nowhere, a glass of cold water thrown at his face.

taking a deep breath in and out, making that right turn and keeping his eyes on the road, kunikuzushi tries his best to sound neutral.

"this is my car."

instead of your quick replies, all he gets from you is silence. casting a quick glance at you to make sure you are not dead or asleep or anything– only to be met with your curious face eyeing him, he is taken back.

"no shit." "what's so unbelievable about this?!"

he can hear you mutter under your breath, avoiding his question, "i didn't know you were rich."

despite knowing how one another works, the two of you really lack when it comes to your family backgrounds, turns out.

so when the two of you are back home– home, it has a nice ring to it, though odd at first, when you think too long about it– you mumble something about how it is exhausting to exist at your house.

he can tell that much, especially with the way you acted over the weekend compared to how you normally act under the same room as he does.

There is a sliver of moment when you are still you, the you he knows and a truer image of yourself. Parents away for the time being, you invite yourself into his temporary room and open the lid of tye instrument by the wall– only sitting down do you offer a sheepish smile, as if coming to realize his presence by your side only now.

Yet you still sit there and play, chuckle inbetween and say you’ve gone rusty but kunikuzushi does not care. He watches his breath held, fascinated, yet careful to remain that passiveness of his face, do not show anything, do not reveal how your insides feel.

So in turn, he offers a view of his life back home– or when he was still there, about his mother and her wife, his sister that he only mentions out of technical details if anything.

He sounds bitter almost, hurt, lonely– until a smile forms on his lips, one he is yet to he aware of, that he says your cooking reminds him of ‘auntie buer’

the two of you drop the topic of families as quick as it began then. Now the talks of keeping this housing arrangement up gaining a sense of possibility, taking a more solid view in your minds.

Whenever you attend a night out youre invited, kuni begins to accompany you– you are almost certain it first began with ajax’s invitations but you know he would rather die than to ever admit that.

It does has its perks though when game nights turn into nights out without a notice and strangers come up. All it takes is a look from kuni to scare them off, granting you invincibility.

there are downsides to this little agreement however; just because kuni and you have gotten used to throwing silly nicknames and terms of endearment– be it for an act or not, does not mean your friends have.

ajax almost spits his own drink, lumine just stares at you as if you have gone crazy, perhaps you have, some however see this as an invitation to chaos and make the matters worse for you two, teasing you at every chance they get, calling you doves and all that, even kissy faces on the nights you leave earlier than the rest.

kunikuzushi finds himself unreasonable for such petty feelings but with each passing day, the presence of that stray cat you let in gets on his nerves more.

you insist again and again that the cat has all her vaccines done, going for regular check-ups, no parasites internal or outside, a well mannered cat that does not even enter the kitchen area– all your pleas and debates come empty handed because none of these are the real cause.

he simply finds himself more and more agitated whenever he sees you cuddle with that cat– on the couch after a long day, at night when you leave your door open, keeping the cat close to your chest, her head on your arm, your lips almost touching the top of her head, how you gently massage her scalp and give her pets–

he needs to get himself together.

when kunikuzushi is called back home for a meeting, he finds himself dragging his feet.

not exactly dying to see his mother or that vixen, or that robot for a sister he has, not dying to be looked down once more for expressing humane emotions, displaying human behavior and overall... existing.

who will make sure you do not starve yourself when he is away? the finals season is close and he knows you were not prepared for it, once again. with how it has been going with you lately, he wouldn't be surprised if you forgot to use the bathroom altogether.

all that food you've been consuming is not healthy for you either, a little change of cultures once in a while would not hurt. he knows your digestive system would appreciate it, as would you, even though you always roll your eyes when he tells you to 'just shut it and do the dishes at least, will you?' whenever he cooks for you.

the list goes on, he can go for hours counting every negative thing that can happen during his absence– a weekend is too long a time to be away, too long to be dealing with them, staying would be the logical optio– "stop with the excuses and grow a spine already!" you exclaim, half joking, half serious, "how bad can it be?"

kunikuzushi has an answer for that too but he decides to keep that one to himself. though he did not care much about his home life before, spending the holidays on campus alone with himself, or accepting childe's never ending invitations to join his family certainly spoiled him to an extent.

One foot out of the door, then another, one by one descending and hearing the familiar beep of the car, only when he is about to shut the door and start the engine does your hand hold the door still and grant him a gentle smile.

“Hey, if things go sour with your family and all, you can always join mine, yeah?”

Closing the door, you wave as he stares at you, at a loss for words. What is it you mean exactly, were you not dreading the recent time spent with your family, what does that make you– the two of you, have you been noticing the recent changes within your dynamic too?

With a smile you send him off, splashing a glass of water after him just as he has put a decent distance between you both.

He supposed it’s another weird cultural thing you’ll have to explain him and receive his eye rolls in return.

When Kuni wakes up groggy and checks his phone, every cell in his brain yells in unison to return to the warm embrace of his bed, his throat however begging for a sense of relief itself.

On the way to the kitchen in the absolute silence and eminent darkness of the hour, he hears a sound— trying to make itself small with his signaling footsteps.

The street lights coming from the window and illuminating the room answers his questions before they can bloom– you sit there in nothingness with a plate in front of you, wrapped tight in your favorite blanket, your face worse than he has ever seen.

The thunder thickens, the drops of the rain begin to hit against the windows like iron nails and he notices the state of the weather then.

Without a word, he walks past you, ignoring your half assed attempts of watching him from the corner of your eye, opens the fridge and closes, getting himself a cold glass of water and downing the liquid in one go.

placing the glass away, he retraces the path he took, or so you think until his footsteps grow louder, closer and coming to a halt right by your side. Without a word uttered, he plops down next to you.

"Stop being a selfish hag and share that blanket."

Harsh words but no poison to his tone, when you finally raise one arm holding the edge of the blanket, he gets under your wing right away, settling in.

You should not be awake at this hour when you have a long day ahead in a measly two hours. Not when you have been neglecting sleep and proper meals for the past days, probably a side effect of not studying ahead, as always the case with you– and now the stress catching up to you, sinking its claws with dread.

By the time the sun is up, you have calmed down somewhat and fell back into sleep, that much he can tell from your breathing and the faint up and downs of your chest.

It is a technical detail maybe that your positions have shifted over the dawn, your head falling to his chest and Kuni holding you to himself with an arm wrapped around.

He supposes the distate and discomfort for storms is another thing the two of you have in common, another thing to get through and handle, together.

[arlocedwards]

╰ ✧ HARRY STYLES. MUSE NINE. PANSEXUAL ❞ say hello to the s club’s very own ARLO EDWARDS! a TWENTY-FOUR YEAR OLD, CISMALE that goes by HE/HIM pronouns. i heard they were voted BEST SHOULDER TO CRY ON in high school, which says a lot about them because they’re very IDEALISTIC and INTUITIVE, but watch out for their DETACHED and DESTRUCTIVE side as well. i hope they’re ready to take a break from being a MUSICIAN and finally get this summer started! ( kt / 24 / pst / she/her )

hiya! i am kt &+ underneath the read more is some info about my bb, arlo. ** insert clown emoji but make him yee-haw ** 

trigger warning : death .

NAME: arlo cornelius edwards. GENDER: cismale. PRONOUNS: he, him. AGE: twenty-four ( 24 ). BIRTHDAY: february 14th. ZODIAC: aquarius !! HOMETOWN: kent, england. ORIENTATION: pansexual OCCUPATION: drummer. LANGUAGES SPOKEN: english & french. FACECLAIM: harry styles ~ currently featuring long hair.  :’-) 

kt’s note: I KNOW THIS IS SO LONG, SO IF YOU DON’T READ IT, I WILL NOT GET OFFENDED. 

but, just read this so y’know what you’re getting yourself into when interactions open : death tw: arlo will be joining this summers reunion coming from his parents home, post-funeral, trying to escape boxing up his brothers stuff and wanting to not be pitied. :’-( my boy is going through it, so his typical behavior and personality is gonna be v muted for a while.

ᴀʀʟᴏ'ꜱ ʙᴀᴄᴋɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ

arlo was born in kent, england. i know what you’re wondering, and yes, he does have an accent. :’-) his family moved to new york when he was five years old because arlo’s father was offered a high level position within his company.

arlo was born into a loving family, him being the middle child. he has two supportive parents, sasha edwards (his mother), & carter edwards (his father). there are two years separating him from both his older brother and younger sister. his older brother ( now deceased ) was named holden edwards, and his little sister is named ivy edwards. his older brother can be imagined as eric matthews from boy meets world ( at the end of the day, they were bffs ) & his little sister is quite literally cher horowitz from clueless mixed w/ a splash of bianca stratford from 10 things i hate about you  ( they are polar opposites which makes for a fun dynamic !! )

growing up, arlo enjoyed playing all types of sports - there truly wasn’t anything that he wasn’t really good at, and that’s simply because he’s always been such a competitive individual. he would go home and practice a skill or trick for hours in order to be able to come back the next day and whoop everyone’s asses. he will fight  you over board games and make alliances in monopoly to mess w/ you. 

his interest in taking up an instrument kicked in when he was seven years old. he and his dad were driving back from a hockey game together late at night, and his dad played him the song moby dick by led zeppelin & he knew it was something that he wanted to pursue bc “john bonham was a genius.” ~ arlo vc. and so his dad gifted him a drum set on his eighth birthday !! :’-) soft. but over the years he was exposed to other instruments and can also play the guitar, piano, and he has a nice set of pipes !! harry styles being his vc as well ~ makes it easy. he really wants to learn the saxophone tho??? don’t get him started - he will go on and on and on.

throughout highschoool ; arlo was a v dedicated student. although he’s a bit reckless and loved to goof off, he was always acing classes and applying himself. he genuinely cares for others, you could’ve seen his ass volunteering at a soup kitchen with his mom on sundays and what not! just soft things.

until now - now anti-soft. hard things.  sdgjdjgd okay, so, arlo is A Mess™️. and i say that with so much love in my bones. arlo is the type of friend that is honest, and all about tough love when it’s needed. he doesn’t mind getting into a fight or two if he knows its worth the outcome he’s envisioned. he will tell you when you’re fucking up, and if you’re throwing a punch as a result - catch him leaning into it. this ties in l8r !!

he’s just a bit desperate to feel against following the death of his brother & also post-break up with shanley? ( which give me one hot sec and i’ll go into those v soon ) but overall he just wants to feel like himself again, y’know ?? don’t we all. amen & what not. to break it down, he just feels so intensely that he ends up numbing himself in the aftermath of it all, and he’s sadly willing to put himself into harms way in order to get a bit of that - happiness / pain, it doesn’t matter to him as long as he no longer feels numb. so, if ya see him with some scrapes and stitches ~ MIND YA BUSINESS.

arlo’s lurve life : woo ! okay, welcome back -- let’s get into it. so shanley and arlo dated throughout hs and into their first year of college, for a whopping five years together before they broke up. god if you’ve made it this far, i applaud you...but hmu and let me know your fav color, okay? like and comment below ?? subscribe ?? thx. OKAY BACK TO BUSINESS. in case you’re wondering who broke up with who, gosh so nosy, let me just tell you ‘twas arlo. he did it, we can unfollow his ass now. BUT ~ he didn’t want to ? y’know. he felt like due to the long distance, she was missing out on college experiences and her waiting by the phone for him to call was just sad, and he felt guilty. he wanted her to enjoy her time and felt as if he was weighing her down. although he did try make an effort to fix this doing by visiting her that weekend at her university in chicago, but when he came across her with friends he felt stupid and bailed back to cali again. a couple months later he called her, hoping to apologize for his poor judgement and admit to his mistake of ending the relationship, but she wasn’t the one who answered the phone. arlo assumed the random guy who answered was shanley’s new boyfriend (although , he was shanley’s roommates boyfriend but my sad dumb ass boi didn’t know ). arlo only assumed the voice belonged to shan’s bf bc he swears the voice distinctly said “coming, babe!” ( although he did, just not to shanley) and ever since arlo’s been a bit jaded when it comes to romance. shanley called him back later that day, and arlo shrugged her off bc he was jealous af and drunk - claiming he “butt dialed her and it wouldn’t happen again.” :’-( since then they haven’t been in contact. 

he was so in love with shanley, and despite him being the one to end things, he’s never fully gotten over her. he’s definitely hooked up with other people, but my boy is not the committing type after that relationship. 

after high school, arlo attended stanford university, as they offer one of the best criminal law programs across the nation. wahoo ! yahtzee !

after graduating college, arlo moved to san francisco & moved in with ali !! they have a nice little place overlooking the golden gate bridge w/ quality acoustics for their creative music projects. / also where he currently lives !! :’-) we love a bromance.

while in san francisco, arlo attended university to continue on pursuing his law degree  and after two years was able to graduate with his juris doctor. 

TRIGGER WARNING : DEATH / CAR ACCIDENT / DRUNK DRIVING. the death of his brother is very recent, like four weeks ago recent. arlo and his brother were road tripping across the states back to their family home in NY to visit their parents, when a drunk driver struck the driver side of their vehicle, which on impact killed his brother. arlo has survivors guilt as a result from the accident. he and his brother had switched seats a couple minutes prior to the collision, after arlo had asked to switch with him in order to rest for a bit. :’-( miraculously, arlo was unscathed in the greater scheme of all things injury-based. he’s entering the villa w/ a couple broken ribs, broken left arm and scrapes/cuts. so plz sign his cast. 

post-break up with shanley, they had some type of unspoken agreement of trading off years of who gets to attend the summer( aka who has custody of the sclub ) and so last year, arlo did not attend. however, this year, they somehow got their info wrong about who was going / not going, so they have found themselves here at the same time. this being the first time they’ve seen each other since holidays during their first year of college previous to their break up. so get ready for some spice.

last summer, since arlo wasn’t attending the sclub reunion, he was taking the california state bar exam. which is only offered twice a year - he opted for the one in july and passed! :’-) he spent some time after the exam in europe with hastrid. <3

however, arlo will be joining this summers reunion coming from his parents home, post-funeral, trying to escape boxing up his brothers stuff and wanting to not be pitied. :’-( my boy is going through it, so his typical behavior and personality is gonna be v muted for a while.

ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ

overall : arlo truly strives to be kind, and genuinely wants for everyone to get along. treat people with kindness and the like. he has the best of intentions, but often times that can get a bit muddled with the way he goes about things due to his chaotic energy. he will do anything to lighten a dark mood, and will sacrifice / throw himself under the bus if its needed. however, he also is the type to cause the dark mood depending on the day.

however rn, with his current state of mind, arlo is just going through the motions. numbing himself with unhealthy outlets and has a different type of mentality. definitely engaging in a bit of the more chaotic activities, as well as leaving everyone alone to their own vices as well. whereas his typical behavior would be more so attempting to lead them onto a better path if it meant well for their overall wellbeing. 

habits : smoking cigarettes ( ali likely nags him bc they aren’t herbal ) . staying up into the early hours of the morning, and yet somehow still an early riser ( hence, he drinks an absurd amount of coffee ). yeah, hence. - get it, from the house bunny? sdjfkngdg any who, he’s in a phase of numbing via alcohol and drugs rn. 

personality type : INTP - T / THE LOGICIAN

moral alignment : chaotic good

tarot card : the hermit ( currently )

character inspo : connor walsh from how to get away with murder, jess mariano from gilmore girls, & ambrose spellman from chilling adventures of sabrina ( literally his #1 ranked personality match on a quiz i took ) !! so, we have that ! and also a heavy sprinkle of seth cohen from the o.c.

ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ

the album ‘fine line’ by golden child, harry styles in this case will be used as a hc for arlo. arlo wrote and recorded the album - all songs included, with his muse being shanley over the course of the last couple of years. he’s just kind of been sitting on the entire thing, never really feeling it was the right time to release his work/side solo project...but later this summer, he may just leak it. :’-)

arlo is a vegetarian ! he has been since his freshman year of high school.

those who inspire him : roger taylor, mick jagger, alex van halen, john bonham.

LUNA : ali and arlo co-founded the band with friends edie dorn and guy perkins in junior high. playing gigs where they could as often as possible. arlo was on lead vocals, ali as lead guitarist, edie on bass, and guy on drums. although when it came down to recording and what not they seemed to bounce around when it came to other instruments - v experimental. the band took off in college, prior to something strange and over the years they’ve produced numerous albums and have won a couple awards. 

red roses are his Thing™️ ; fans of the band will walk up and hand him them. i think that’s soft. and i am here for it.

he loves fancy wine ~ he’s cultured.

fun fact : dirty dancing is v much so a sharlo movie. they used to practice and be able to successfully pull of the jump & lift dance move literally just for fun / bc they wanted to. after nailing the lift, they learned the entire dance - i can't. dfjkgndjkg SOFT.

arlo has all of harry’s tattoos !! makes it simpler, might add more along the way !! stay tuned, folks !!

also the ‘ h & s ‘ rings that will be seen in photographs later on are for his brother, holden, and bbg, shanley </3

arlo is a gucci enthusiast - having much of his closet filled with staple pieces over the years. to further his love for the brand, he was recently asked to be in an upcoming campaign for the fall season - he’s v jazzed about it.

ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴꜱ

𝖌𝖔𝖔𝖉 𝖎𝖓𝖋𝖑𝖚𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊 ( open connection ) : with arlo being a bit chaotic in nature, he needs somebody that is likely going to steer him clear from all the ideas that’ll bring him to the brink of disaster. he’s impulsive and in that desperate attempt to feel again, he’s very likely to bring a bit of mayhem upon himself. so while they may constantly worrying and attempting to talk his ideas down, he’s trying to get them to go along with his plan. it may be rare that he actually takes their advice, but when he does it seems to be for the best.

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉 / 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖋𝖎𝖉𝖆𝖓𝖙 ( open connection ) : these two know how to have a good time together. despite the amount of alcohol they are throwing back and the shenanigans they find themselves in as a result, this is a time where they also find themselves confiding in one another. if you look at their camera rolls, it’s likely they have tons of embracing and unflattering videos and pics of one another, in between their sob-worthy confessionals and venting/rants. these two trust one another, and although they love getting wreckT together, they find themselves discussing very raw and personal details.

open to other connection you may have in mind! :’-)  LMK!!!! <3 i love me some chemistry !!!

ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ( featured on arlo’s connections page here !! )

𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖘 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖇𝖊𝖓𝖊𝖋𝖎𝖙𝖘 ( taken - simon peralta ) : these two went through rough break ups of their own, and a rebound didn’t sound too bad to either of them at the time things started. it may not occur all the time, but they sometimes still find themselves offering up to one another. this occurred more frequently then any of arlo’s one night stands, obvi, but it never surpassed anything other than the physical aspect of their relationship. the nature of their relationship outside of the bedroom can go either way !!!  :’-)

𝖆 𝖇𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖊 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖆𝖌𝖊𝖘 ( taken - ali mallick ) : as if living together for the past two years wasn’t enough, ali & arlo are also roommates every summer that arlo attends the sclub reunions. these two are always laughing, and saying some ridiculous ish. you’ll likely hear loud jam sessions and howling laughter / the occasional excited shouting back and forth from their room in the late hours. they are truly nothing but a good time and tbh, they know it. that and the fact that they have the best hair in the villa. djfgnjkdfg FIGHT ME !!

𝖍𝖎𝖌𝖍 𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖔𝖔𝖑 𝖘𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖘 ( taken - shanley evans ) : these two began their relationship in their freshman year of high school - spending five years together before breaking up in their freshman year of college. * cries in sharlo * they were the “it” couple, no pennywise included … unless ? anyways, everyone thought that they were going to get married, and arlo was v much in love / thinking shanley was his romantic soulmate. yet when they did break up everyone was shookith - even the birds and the bees.

𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 𝖜𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖗𝖔𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖘 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖒𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖘 ( taken - ali mallick , willow finch , sirena rose ) : these four formed something strange. arlo is the drummer of the group, and also writes some songs for the group. they’ve blown up over the years and are a quite successful group.

𝖛 𝖘𝖎𝖇𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌-𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖑𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖕 ( taken - sirena rose / willow finch ) : these two have a love/hate relationship, very sibling like filled with pranks, competition, teasing and playful banter. however, when it comes down to it they have so much love and respect for one another. they know that no matter what happens they will always have one anothers back and be supportive of the other. pure relationship.

𝖗𝖎𝖉𝖊 𝖔𝖗 𝖉𝖎𝖊 ( taken - delilah jacobs ) : ride or dies ! need i say more ?? these two have one anothers backs despite anything and everything going on otherwise. they play in to one anothers antics and enjoy one anothers presence as they can likely be seen dragging one another across town and causing a bit of mayhem together. you can catch them in their beautiful, bitch #1 & #2 tee's.

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖈 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖕𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖔𝖓 ( taken - ramona verdez ) : it would be wrong to say one is the more likely the bad influence over the other, although arlo may just be. these two find themselves bounding into, well hell, ( i guess??? ) together. playing on one anothers impulsiveness and if one ends up in the back of a police car, the other is handcuffed to them. and yet despite the length of their potential injuries, they find themselves thinking of something crazier to subject them to the next time around. with arlo having his law degree, he’s always able to squeeze them out of trouble before it gets too serious, so trust - it’s ok !! 

𝖚𝖓𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖑𝖞 𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖘 / 𝖕𝖔𝖑𝖆𝖗 𝖔𝖕𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖊𝖘 ( taken -  izzy de la rosa ) : these two may have ran in the same circle, but were complete opposites when it came down to their personalities / styles / perhaps even humor, so it was expected for them to stand their distance. however despite the odds, they just clicked !! opposites attract and what not, ya dig??  somehow their dynamic just works and they have a lot of fun together by introducing new things to one another.

[teddylawrence]

giggles impishly as i whip this up........... a lot of u already kno teddy bt some dont n i am so excited fr the new members does a song n a dance fr them (its an irish jog niall horan style) n fr those tht do kno teddy a few updates r under the read more! Pleathe give this a like if u wanna plot :-)

「harry styles & cis male」⇾ lawrence , teddy, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is an aquarius and 24 years old. he is studying dramatic arts, living in moris and can be charming, optimistic, reckless & melodramatic. when i see him i am reminded of yellow sweaters a size too big, laughter so infectious it carries on for minutes, excited cheering that can be heard throughout the entire party.

pinterest can be found HERE.

TW’S FOR ABUSE, VIOLENCE, CHEATING, ALCOHOLISM, DRUGS, AND ADDICTION BELOW!

stats.

name: theodore ‘teddy’ claude lawrence.

age: twenty-four.

gender identity: cis-male.

pronouns: he/him.

sexuality: pansexual.

birthday: february 13, 1996.

star sign: aquarius.

myers-briggs: enfp.

year of study: senior.

major: dramatic arts.

occupation: n/a.

place of birth: syracuse, new york.

religion: agnostic.

background.

annie holland met theodore rydel when she was 15, and by 16 teddy was born, but theodore wasn’t there to see since he left pretty quickly after annie announced the pregnancy /:

ADDICTION/DRUGS TW - he was just a child too basically, and an addict alongside annie, just an all around bad person who was selfish and was more concerned over figuring out how to get more drug money than the fact that his ‘girlfriend’ was pregnant

ABUSE TW - annie took care of teddy until he was around 2 with the help of her parents, but one weekend the neighbours finally called the police when they heard teddy screaming his little head off for 2 days straight - turned out that annie had gone out to score and got too high to head home, so teddy was immediately put into foster care - ADDICTION/DRUGS TW END

for most of his life he was sort of punted around from home to home, shelter to shelter, etc., he found himself in several abusive situations so his childhood? Not Good

he still had a place in his heart for annie though, generally ran away a lot and get kicked out of the homes and shelters he was in bc he was meeting up w his mom - ABUSE TW END

eventually he was placed in the lawrence house when he was 16 and when he first came in, he had a giant chip on his shoulder, just refused to let them take care of him or try to be friends with what would soon become his siblings (there’s a large handful of them)

VIOLENCE/ADDICTION/DRUGS TW - around when he started to warm up to them is another time his mother wanted to meet up - a lot of the time if she did it was just bc she needed money, so when teddy met up with her to say he wasn’t leaving with her and had refused to steal from the lawrence’s for her, her boyfriend attacked him pretty brutally and his mom was too high to do anything about it - VIOLENCE/ADDICTION/DRUGS TW END

after that the lawrence’s insisted on adopting teddy so that he became a permanent fixture in their life and he realized these people were more his family than annie ever was, now he loves and treats them all like they’d been his family his entire life

he’s still quite close w all of them to this day, n his sister maggie (played by neen) even goes to school w him! :-)

details.

truly the most dramatic bitch who has a habit of saying wtvr is on his mind without thinking of consequence cuz he frankly wasn’t raised to have a filter bt he rly does have a heart of gold

head of the drama club at school

has been in like . 2 or 3 commercials before and is tryna work on getting himself out there more bc his dream is to b an actor

more of a Class Clown type than anything else

CHEATING TW - used to have a rep of sleeping around w ppl n everyone was surprised when he settled down w blake (shoutout neen again) bt recently cheated n has kinda . spiralled since LKSHDGKLHSDLGKHD - CHEATING TW END

ADDICTION/DRUGS/ALCOHOLISM TW - struggles w addiction himself quite badly, is a bit of a coke fiend n drinks a worrying amount

spent the summer at home attempting to sober up cuz his parents were starting to get increasingly worried bt he didn’t tell anyone that he got back in contact w annie, at first it’d been to ask how she did it n got clean herself without realizing she’d fallen off the wagon and she was jst a bad influence on teddy if anything

he was supposed to graduate last year bt had to skip exams etc. bc of how bad he’d gotten n now tht he’s back he’s determined to make ppl think he’s ok when he’s obvs . Not - ADDICTION/DRUGS/ALCOHOLISM TW END

connections.

ppl who r in his major?? or r a part of the drama club/school radio he does both :-)

mayhaps a dealer?? wld love someone evil who knows hes struggling to stay sober bt still sells to him anyway/insists he does fr their benefit………. rubs my grubby paws

mayb ppl he was in the system with before…….

exes!! on good or bad terms, he’s not exactly Faithful n also was always attracted to ppl he knew Weren’t Good For Him so something fun cld b done there

friends!!! he’s a social butterfly so needs many friends

enemies/rivals fr wtvr reason

he’s in a needed hiatus from relationships rn all things considered bt maybe crushes? requited or not on whichever side

someone helping him who knows hes struggling quite bad

the Polar Opposite n someone who’s a bad influence on him AND someone he’s a bad influence to?? like someone who wanted to get away from the party scene a bit n he tries to drag them back in to validate him doing wht he shldnt in the first place

[bielbraganca]

Journals entry. feat GABRIEL’s CONNECTIONS. 

“ All these places had their moments with lovers and friends, I still can recall. Some are dead, and some are living. In my life, I've loved them all. “

ooc disclaimer: I’ve been putting Gabriel’s connection together in order to later create a plot page in his blog, but, so far this is the best I will get because Tumblr erased all the work I did yesterday and I’m still pissed (this is the third time I’m writing this). Anyway, here are just a few points I would like to address. 

If we have plotted and your name isn’t there, forgive me, I must have got to list it but smack me in the face and tell me to get my shit together. 

If your character’s name is there and I haven’t got to write much about them is simply because I would love for us to get into more details first, but I still love them regardless. 

Please, if we haven’t plotted, I’d love to get more rivals, someone who broke his heart or someone he broke their hearts (he is a hoe or used to be), more people to dislike him bc let’s be real, he is annoying. F1 lovers. He had one or two more serious relationships after and before marrying Olimpia, so there’s that. Anything, really, I’m down. 

Anything the players want me to change on what I wrote for the connections, just shout me a message. 

Barbara di Savoia de Bragança

INTROSPECTION featuring. their relationship: ONE, TWO, THREE and FOUR.  / + BONUS.

HC 1: He is taller than she is and she has electrocuted him once (please click here).

HC 2: Barbie is his favorite person in the world even if he tries to deny it; his biggest fear is to one day disappoint her.

Okay, she is his favorite person and he is also Barbie’s number one fan but will never dare to say that out loud, ever. He loves to fight and annoy the life out of her just for his own amuse, but he is the only one allowed to do it so don’t even try to come for her or you won’t live to see the next day. No one admires and appreciates Barbara more than Gabriel does because ever since he was a child, he has put Barbie into a pedestal, mesmerized by her and everything she used to do/does and trying to be more like his big sister. He is very, VERY, protective of her and stands with Barbara no matter what, he will follow through whatever and won’t even hesitate.

@barbiebraganca​

Ariel Celine di Savoia de Bragança

INTROSPECTION featuring. their relationship: ONE, TWO, THREE and FOUR.  / + BONUS. ++ BONUS.

HC 1: Four minutes older and also taller.

HC 2: The last time he cried was when he saw Ariel getting out of the plan after the kidnap. From the minute he received the news it was like he was holding his breath, reaming calm and strong hoping that it could make her feel safe wherever she was. That’s why he crumbled when he saw Ari again, he was finally able to let go and breathe.

Ariel is, and will always be his better half.  If you ask Gabriel, he will tell you that the only reason he was born first was to make sure the world was a safe place for his sister to come. If it was possible, he would take away any pain, sorrow or dissapoiment out of her life because he never wishes for her to see the ugly side of it. She is the light of his life and he would die and kill for her, that’s why you never, NEVER, dare to mess with Ariel or you might get to see a side of Gabriel that isn’t pretty. The worst period of his life and his first experience with a panic attack was when Ari was kidnaped. Spain is his now declared enemy and whatever opportunity he has to retaliation, you bet he is gonna take. It doesn’t matter how long it takes. 

@aribraganca​

Giovanni Ricci

INTROSPECTION featuring. their relationship: ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE AND SIX  / + BONUS. DOUBLE BONUS.

HC 1: Undefeated together and could easily plot for world domination.

HC 2: Giovanni has seen the sides of Gabriel that maybe not even his sisters have, the lows and the highest; moments that weren’t all that pretty. (also, bros get more muse posts on this post/page because the bromance is beautiful.)

While Ariel may be his twin, light and better half, Giovanni and Gabriel are inseparable and come as a pack. Growing up with two sisters annoying the life out of him would have been unbearable if it wasn’t for Giovanni. To have someone to stand with you as brother through ever bad and good moment is something to chear and that’s why no matter what others tell, Gabriel has Giovanni’s back, he has earned that. These two are idiots, or not, it depends on how you see it but he is like a brother for Gabriel and he has the terrible habit of backing him on the crazy ideas and choosing to give him the benefit of doubt. It’s not about knowing if it is a bad idea or not, he may know that something won’t end well, but what happens in between is always a fun story they will have to tell and believe, these two have some good ones.

@giorxcci​

Aiko Giorgina Yamato

INTROSPECTION featuring. their relationship: ONE, TWO, THREE and FOUR.  / + BONUS. ++BONUS.

Aiko, Gabriel and Giovanni used to come as a pack, and now, Biel has to live with them wanting to kill each other and fighting 24/7 whenever he tries and suggests a gather with them. However, back on good old days, they were super close, while having the same age and growing up together, Aiko was not only his cousin but still remains one of his best friends. Just like his sisters, Gabriel can become very protective over Aiko because she means more than family to him and, just like Giovanni, she has probably seen on his not so glory days. 

@aikogia​

Olimpia Croÿ de Bragança

INTROSPECTION featuring. their relationship: ONE, TWO, THREE and FOUR.  / + BONUS. ++ BONUS.

HC 1: Right around the last month or so of their relationship, right after Olimpia’s alcohol poisoning, Gabriel left her to believe she has cheated on her - but he didn’t it.

HC 2: Olimpia was (if not the only) one of the few serious relationships Biel had in the past.

HC 3: It may come as a surprise but he is incredibly sweet and romantic. He knows that once he finds the time and feels like this is more than an arranged marriage, he wants to ask her again, to marry him and have a small ceremony.  One that is not for the show.

He messed up, big time when they were young and is too chicken to tell. They first met back in Swiss when both attend the same boarding school and, of course, she was one to catch his eyes but it took some work till they finally admit they wanted to be together. It was all great till it wasn’t, from ‘it couple’ to the guy who cheated (or at least how he wanted her to believe); both were young and had no idea of how things were going to be when they graduated and, once Olimpia had her alcohol poisoning, it freaked the shit out of him. Gabriel didn’t want to drag the girl he dares to say he loved to a path he knew wasn’t great. He was living his life at the edge of destructive behavior and he would push her away before he drags her right into it.

They broke up, of course, then went to live life and grew away from each other till his father had got Gabriel an arranged married with, to his surprise, Biel’s high school sweetheart. It was and it still is a little bit terrifying but, they are getting the chance to discover themselves and the new relationship they have. He is learning that those feelings he had back then, may have never vanished, she complements him and is good to him to have someone to pull him back sometimes while he wants to help her find her purpose in life, to stand for herself.

@olimpiacdb​

Arielle Grimaldi de Valois of Monaco 

INTROSPECTION featuring. their relationship: ONE, TWO, THREE and FOUR.  / + BONUS.  

Is not a secret F1 is Gabriel’s true love and the Monaco GP, one of his favorites from the entire circuit because everyone who is ‘someone’ was there at the GP weekend. He loves Monaco and has some investments going in the country from the enourmerous time he has spent there ever since. That’s when he became closer and got to meet Arielle, currently best friend and former friends with benefits. They hang out a lot back there and had a no strings atach living in the moment kind of arregement. Outside his family, she is one of the few people who knows him a lot more than he will admit and he cares for her and her family deeply. 

@ariellevalois

Arabella Sandrine Von Habsburg

INTROSPECTION featuring. their relationship: ONE, TWO, THREE and FOUR.  / + BONUS.

HC 1: When they met down at 5th Avenue even if both knew the other was royalty, they spent the entire night exploring the city pretending to be just two ordinary teenagers. 

HC 2: Arabella was his date to the first Met Gala he walked down the carpet.

Gabriel has spent most part of the year after his graduation on HS and before joining the army, in NYC while caring the few royal appoiments that he had to; it was the year he was at his most exposed self and going a little bit out of hand in the party and wild side. It was when he met Arabella, but for once, they had remained just friends that were going out with the same circule of friends on that year in the city. 

@arabellasxndrin

Leonardo Rafael de Bragança 

INTROSPECTION featuring. their relationship: ONE, TWO, THREE and FOUR.  / + BONUS.

( Jack x Chuck Bass -improvedversion- duo I love them dont @ me ) 

@leobraganca

Viggo Glücksburg 

INTROSPECTION featuring. their relationship: ONE, TWO, THREE and FOUR.  / + BONUS. 

( I will finish this later but Viggo is probably the best influence on Gabriel )

@viggc

Aisling Siobhán Uí Briúin Ai (one night stand/fling)

Louise de Saxe-Cobourg et Gotha (fancy fencing people)

Levente Croÿ (brother-in-law)

Yi ‘Sabrina’ Seonhye (travel buddies)

Olivier Van Oranje-Nassau (not friends)

Natasja Magnusdottir

Alina Soletskaya

Natalia Victoria de Marqui (oxford buddies)

Lara Josephine d’Ansembourg (harry potter nerds)

Lisette du Poitiers

Noori Hadiyya Nazaret (platonic crush)

[applicationforrelease]

hi i’ve literally spent all four years of high school trying to push through my terrible anxiety and depression bc my mother would never listen to me. through out middle school i had to BEG her to see a therapist and the only reason she finally broke was because my best friend called her telling her how worried she was that i was going to hurt myself. i have put up with so much of my own shit these four years, i could barely get out of bed my second semester of junior year because of how bad my medications made me feel but i still passed. i’m still graduating with honors, with an advanced diploma, because i wore my ass off trying to get through this. but i’m still sitting here, a week before i’m officially done with high school to just be put down by my mom? she told me that she wouldn’t be surprised if i didn’t pass, if she got an email telling her that i didn’t get enough credits and i would have to go to summer school or worse take the grade again. she has been telling me this for months. she told me when my math teacher told me i was in the clear that he was wrong. that i was going to have to take his class again because i was going to fail. and i thought so too. she would remind me every fucking day that i was going to fail. she still reminds me how close i was to it, reminding me how close i was to failing, but i didn’t. i passed. i’m so sick of her thinking that i cannot do something, or cannot work through something simply because i’m unmotivated. how in october i was in a fuckin mental hospital and only missed one day of class because i couldn’t get behind in math. i came home after that weekend absolutely fucking drained and went to school that tuesday. like nothing happened. couldn’t tell anyone what happened. didn’t tell anyone what happened except for my family and my closest friend. god i’m just so pissed? that i’ve made it this far and she still doesn’t think i can do anything. i’m going to be the second girl in my family to graduate high school without having their first kid yet. i’m going to be the second of my 6 older cousins to graduate high school. but she still makes me feel like i’m going to fail. like i’m not going to be able to graduate or even pass an english class. i’m so glad i have my sister and my friend to talk to about anything. i try at least, they know how my mom is. sometimes.

[clamorbelli]

whaddup . it’s ya boy , skinny penis . ok so there’s not much to put here except hi to any new people that might’ve not seen my intro for noelle & angelo ( CLICK HERE ). i’m jaz, & this here is my newest babe, sebastian higgings. i’ve definitely missed stuff, but underneath the cut u’ll find plenty of fun stuff abt him. and by fun i mean tragic , bc sebastian is a piece of shit. ; )

‹  LIKE THIS OR HMU IF YOU’D LIKE TO PLOT WITH SEB.  ›

TRIGGER WARNINGS  :  death, drugs, alcohol, emotional instability, therapy mentions, unhealthy habits, blood mention.

◟ * ◊ ─  keith powers + cismale + he/him » * believe it or not sebastian belongs to the higgings family. they are 26 years of age and are known to usually spend their time around buena vista apartments. the photographer has been living in victoria for 22 years. the people closest to them describe the bisexual + aquarius to be +inspired and +autonomous as well as -callous and -debauched.

sebastian is the ( current ) eldest son of the late johnathan and sasha higgings, born to the couple when they were happy, in love, and a shining example of what marriage should be. sebastian was a momma’s boy through and through from the day he was born, severe separation issues plaguing his infantdom, only rectified through intense therapy. his bond with his mother, even after finally being convinced she wasn’t the only nice person in the world, never wavered however. they were thick as thieves.

there was never anything remarkable about seb’s childhood except his fondness for the family camera whenever they went on holiday. his parents first believed it was a desire to model, but they soon came to understand it wasn’t being in front of it that seb wanted, he wished to be behind it. from then on they gave him a disposable on every trip, and before long the house was full of his amateur photography.

when he was ten, the unthinkable and unfathomable happened. his mother died. seb had been an entirely normal, average kid up until that point, but part of him died the day his mother slipped away forever. it was impossible for it not too, with the amount of time they’d spent together, his dependency on her at birth, the fact she was his best friend and it didn’t matter what the kids at school thought. as a child, he was ruined, affected for the rest of his life in ways he didn’t quite understand yet.

seb was sixteen by the time victoria was adopted into the family, and his reign of terror on victoria had long since begun. he came home with bloody noses and bruises more times than he could count, he sneered and spat at other kids in the playground, knowing they could do little except beat him to a pulp and have their parents foot the bill. he started drinking all too early, dabbled in drugs no sixteen year old should’ve touched, spent nights away from home, uninterested in the new woman in his father’s life.

victoria, however, was a different story. the pair got on like a house on fire, likely because of their bratty, conniving ways. at that age sebastian was like gasoline and his newfound sister was the match. natalya still had seb’s heart from when they were kids, his sister being the one thing in life he still felt warmth for, but victoria had managed to form a relationship of her own with him. for a while it was them against the world, until cassandra stepped in, pitted the girls against each other, and made life infinitely harder for a boy already on the brink.

he and his father argued daily. blazing rows that ended in smashed kitchenware. seb was losing it but the higgings patriarch failed to see his behaviour as anything more than childish cries for attention. seb didn’t know the empty feeling in his chest wasn’t normal. he didn’t know he shouldn’t play with girls emotions until they cried. he didn’t understand why he only felt things when he was getting into schoolyard fights or looking through the lens of a camera.

seb graduated high school and chose to do an online course for photography, honing his skills whilst remaining close by until his sisters graduated. when they did, he only managed a year without natalya before leaving the city himself, he would miss victoria dearly, but they facetimed every day and skyped properly at the weekends. before he left he told his father to stick his businesses up his ass. he was disconnecting from his legacy. his final words to his father were full of toxicity and rage, as they had been for 12 years now.

he went to new york, cliché and crazy as it may have been, and found a surprisingly immense amount of success. through some ridiculous means, his shots were picked up by a local, renowned photography blog, the owner of the blog also owning a gallery, wishing to display his work. from then on it was up and up. seb travelled the globe, was able to shoot the most incredible places, spent his weeks on planes and trains and on his feet. he had his dream, he made a name for himself, he didn’t need his father.

seb may have had the career of his dreams, but his personal life was a shambles. full of one night stands with no substance, exes that hated his guts, friends who’d found it too unbearable to be around him. he was arrogant, confident in himself to a fault, unable to connect with passion on any level except with his work. he was a riot, a fun guy to be around who was willing to try anything once, but he lacked the ability to form meaningful relationships. people came and went and seb was left, alone, in his fancy apartment somewhere in manhattan. he was as lonely as he was the day his mother had died, things in that regard had never changed.

the phone call he received when victoria died shook him to his core, the male feeling something other than debauchery for the first time in a long time. his father? a fucking waste of space who failed to keep his children safe, but victoria? he flew home just days ago, having one emotional instinct left in him – his brotherly instinct. natalya was still alive and god knows seb was going to lose another member of his family. 

PERSONALITY  :

ok so yeah, seb’s an dick. when i say emotionally unavailable i mean . . . highly, on an unhealthy level that requires some serious therapy. seb lost himself when his mother died and since then he’s been trying to find some solace in these flings he always has but, of course, he never will. he’s apathetic when it comes to people becoming attached to him so tends to be particularly cruel with ppl who get involved w him.

asshole . like, just not . .. a nice person . will point out someone’s faults, will tell u if ur skirt is ugly as fuck, willing to laugh in your face if he thinks what you said is stupid. just doesn’t . . give a f. needs to grow up.

hOWEVERRRR R rr. ofc if he was like that 24/7 he’d never even get people into bed in the first place so he can, of course, turn on the charm. he’s very flirtatious, loves sex and sexually charged conversations. flirting is a hobby for him and it’s one he has fun with. if ur not looking for anything deeper, seb isn’t too bad ig . if you can engage him on things he wants to talk about, keep things chill, not take his dickheadedness to heart, etc, he can be manageable. sort of.

massively confident, but unfortunately it’s justified. he’s beautiful, he’s talented, he’s rich of his own accord, and he’s successful. he’s massively independent, but finds it hard to work in a team.

he’s ! lowkey ! a visionary !!! when it comes to photography he really is that bitch and is genuinely incredible at his job because it’s something he’s actually passionate about. he never turns down the opportunity to photograph, so even though usually he loves money, he’d be willing to do a lot of photography for free whilst he’s back bc ? he just loves doing it, and it reminds him of his mom and how she encouraged him.

uHhh bad habits to the max. the only one of my charas who regularly takes hard drugs and drinks, has a penchant for mdma and is looking into microdosing to help his artistic ability. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS  :

exes from before he moved away

fwbs

best friend, probably only 1 bc . . . intolerable

any kind of connection from before he moved, bc it’s always exciting to see someone again after four years right

enemies lmao

people he knew in new york, if anyone has charas who’ve been there recently

people that were friends with vic

i dunno i’m not good at these y’aLL KNO I LIKE BRAINSTORMING DOMFDOD

give me some angsty shit too

[ybarrcs]

           hello  ,  what’s  good    !    my  name’s  lina    &    i’m  super  excited  to  be  here    !    i’m  21  ,  am  currently  chilling  in  the  gmt  timezone    &    my  pronouns  are  she / her    !    i’m  literally  a  trash  bag  in  human  form    &    spend  way  too  much  time  thinking  stefan  salvatore  deserved  better    &    hoping  that  bazzi  will  someday  release  another  album    !    anyway  ,  that’s  all  boring  nonsense  ashfkjk  but  i  can’t  wait  to  get  to  write  with  u  guys    &    introduce  u  to  this  little  messy  b*tch    !    i’m  too  lazy  to  rewrite  for  things  so  below  is  just  a  section    (    with  his  secret  removed  bc  😏    )    of  his  app  bc  i’d  never  put  y’all  through  reading  ALL  of  that  so  i  hope  u  enjoy    !    if  u’d  like  to  plot  then  smash  that  lil  heart    &    i’ll  come  running  to  u    !

           oh my gosh, am i crazy or did i just see XAVIER SERRANO jamming out to CHANGED by BAZZI ? wait nevermind, i think that’s just AVERY YBARRA . pretty sure i heard they’re known around hollywood as THE CONNARD. while that is a broad term, it makes sense because they’re known around hollywood for being HEDONISTIC but can also be CALLOUS.  which makes total sense after seeing everything prominence insider has posted on their site about them. + missed calls at 2am, tangled knots of headphones, burnt matchsticks, well worn leather jackets, there are pasts inside they, do it out of spite.  ◜ lina. 21. gmt. she/her. ◞

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒  .

𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥  𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞    :    avery  ybarra  ,  previously  matías  castillo

𝐚𝐠𝐞    :    twenty - four  .

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫    :    male  .

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬    :    he / him  .

𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲    :    september 2nd  .

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫  𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧   :    virgo  .

𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭    :    6ft  1in  .

𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭    :    80kg  .

𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫    :    light  brown  .

𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬    :    green  .

𝐨𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧    :    chef / social  media  influencer / youtuber  .

𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲    :    heterosexual  .

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬    :    victoria  castillo    (    mother  ,  deceased    )    &    alejandro  castillo    (    father  ,  46    )  .

𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬    :    alisa  castillo    (    sister  ,  21    )    &    amalia  castillo    (    sister  ,  18    ) .

𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡  𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞    :    barcelona  ,  spain  .

𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭  𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞    :    los  angeles  ,  california  .

𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲    :    spanish  .

𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲    :    hispanic  .

𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬    :    spanish    (    first   ) ,  english    (   second   )  ,  french  ,  italian  ,  portuguese.

𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡    :    10  million  .

𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐬    :    the  connard  ,  the  hacker  ,  the  runaway  .

+  𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬    :    analytical  ,  intelligent  ,  meticulous  ,  modest  ,  practical  ,  reliable  .

-  𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬    :    conservative  ,  fastidious  ,  fussy  ,  harsh  ,  judgemental  ,  overcritical  .

𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘  .

                                                           TRIGGERS    ;    leukemia  ,  death  ,  drugs    &    alcohol  .

        in  a  quaint  yet  suburban  town  located  on  outskirts  of  barcelona  ,  spain  lived  alejandro  castillo  ,  a  recent  high  school  graduate    &    current  owner  of  the  castillo  residence  .  he’d  call  it  a  home  ,  but  he  wouldn’t  label  a  100  square  meter  foundation  a  home  .  the  castillos  never  had  an  easy  life  ,    &    as  the  only  child  of  his  late  parents  he  was  left  with  the  entirety  of  their  his  family’s  fortune  .  or  so  ,  how  little  of  the  fortune  they  had  left  .  alejandro  was  a  level  headed  young  man  who  had  worked  hard  in  school    &    had  a  weekend  job  to  pay  off  the  bills  ,    &    with  little  family  he  was  left  alone  in  the  big  city  to  find  a  stable  future    &    work  through  his  grief  .  he  had  three  ,  very  important  steps  to  follow    :    get  drunk    ;    it  wouldn’t  cost  too  much  for  a  pint  of  flaherty’s  finest  bitter  ,  right    ?    buy  a  car    ;    although  he  had  little  money  to  play  around  with  ,  his  inherited  money  was  enough  for  him  to  buy  an  beaten  down  toyota  4runner  .  then  ,  get  a  girl    ;    it  was  a  common  necessity  back  then  ,  but  who  would  want  a  struggling  mechanic  who  was  left  to  live  his  lonely  life    ?

         in  a  more  upstate  area  in  barcelona  ,  victoria  de  la  rosa  resided  with  her  parents    &    three  siblings  .  now  ,  the  de  la  rosa’s  were  not  by  any  means  considerably  wealthy  ,  but  they  were  comfortable  .  their  children  were  educated  in  some  of  the  best  schools  in  barcelona    &    had  full  scholarships  for  college  .  in  conclusion  ,  victoria  had  a  good  life  ,  but  she  wasn’t  spoiled  about  it  .  a  modest    &    kind  young  lady  ,  she  accepted  everyone  no  matter  their  status    &    lived  somewhat  an  idealistic  life  .  everyone  expected  her  to  do  well  in  life  ,  to  marry  someone  who  could  treat  her  the  way  she  deserved  to  be  treated  .  her  parents  ,  who  had  even  higher  expectations  would  cast  her  off  to  have  meals  with  already  successful  young  men  ,  but  victoria  didn’t  care  about  success  .  success  ,  to  her  ,  was  three  notches  short  of  happiness    &    if  you’re  not  happy  ,  then  what  are  you  doing    ?    her  whole  life  ,  she  told  herself  that  happiness  comes  first    &    success  comes  later  ,  so  she  would  quickly  send  who  her  parents  considered  to  be  eligible  candidates  on  their  way  with  that  delicate  smile  of  hers  .

           the  day  that  victoria  met  alejandro  castillo  ,  her  whole  world  changed  .  he  was  everything  he  parents  didn’t  want  her  to  be  with  .  he  didn’t  have  a  lot  money  ,  a  flashy  car  or  an  expensive  house  .  but  what  he  was  brave    &    determined  ,  thoughtful    &    fair  .  it  was  these  traits  ,  rather  than  the  little  fortune  he  had  behind  him  that  made  victoria  fall  in  love  so  easily    &    undeniably  .  within  a  year  ,  the  pair  were  married  ,  but  the  wedding  wasn’t  exactly  what  would  be  called  ‘ traditional ’  .  in  fact  ,  it  was  just  the  two  of  them    &    two  witnesses  in  barcelona’s  registration  office  .  it  wasn’t  decorated  with  pretty  flowers    &    silk  sheets  draped  over  chairs  ,  with  hundreds  of  guests  holding  back  the  tears  as  vows  were  exchanged  ,  but  it  was  everything  they  could  hope  for  .  on  the  contrary  ,  victoria’s  parents  were  not  happy  at  all  .  not  just  in  her  choice  of  the  wedding  venue  but  the  man  she  chose  to  dedicate  the  rest  of  her  life  to  .  so  ,  as  some  form  of  punishment  ,  they  cut  off  her  funding    &    left  her  to  her  own  devices  .  but  victoria  was  happy  regardless  .

           the  happy  couple  lived  in  the  castillo  home  for  a  couple  of  years  ,    &    after  victoria  had  caught  on  a  stable  job    &    they  had  a  good  influx  of  money  to  keep  them  on  their  feet  ,  they  decided  to  invest  in  a  bigger  home  .  it  wasn’t  much  bigger  ,  but  it  was  a  house  a  lot  more  fitting  for  their  growing  family  .  after  all  ,  victoria  was  pregnant  with  their  first  child  ,    &    with  that  comes  a  responsibility    &    the  need  for  a  lot  more  room  .  the  pregnancy  was  tumultuous    &    complicated  at  times  ,  but  when  it  was  good  ,  it  was  incredible  .  the  problems  became  defeated  by  the  pure  happiness  that  came  with  feeling  their  baby  kick  in  victoria’s  belly  for  the  first  time  ,  or  feeling  it  have  hiccup  after  hiccup  .  it  was  a  long  nine  months  of  waiting  for  the  day  to  finally  come  ,    &    after  they  had  both  agreed  not  to  find  out  the  gender  of  their  first  born  ,  the  day  their  baby  was  born  was  the  happiest  date  of  their  life  .  it  was  at  02:51 AM  on  september  the  2nd  ,  1994  ,  that  matías  castillo  was  born  .

           as  a  child  ,  he  was  vibrant    &    playful  .  always  curious  about  his  next  adventure    &    finding  new  ways  to  entertain  himself  .  he  was  close  to  his  father    ;    attached  to  his  hip    &   striving  to  be  more  like  him  ,  a  man  who  had  recently  succeeded  in  his  mechanic’s  degree  after  years  of  trying    &    only  just  catching  a  stable  job  .  but  no  matter  how  close  he  was  to  his  father  ,  matías  would  forever  be  his  mother’s  son  .  she  was  his  angel  ,  or  so  he  saw  her  .  she  was  kind    &    she  would  teach  him  to  be  so  .  she  would  easily  talk  to  strangers    &    he’d  follow  suit  ,  wanting  people  to  look  at  him  the  same  way  they  looked  at  her  .  even  with  his  sisters  ,  he  was  kind  .  when  they  were  born  ,  he  assumed  the  role  of  the  protective  older  brother  ,    &    despite  the  odd  few  debacles  that  every  single  sibling  has  ,  he  still  adored  them  .  the  family  were  as  what  people  would  say  ,  like  a  pack  of  wolves  .  everything  they  did  ,  they  did  it  together    &    even  though  they  didn’t  have  a  lot  ,  they  had  each  other    &    that  was  all  they  needed  .

           in  school  ,  matías  excelled  in  everything  he  did  .  he  was  one  of  the  top  pupils  in  all  his  classes    &    was  a  good  ,  respectable  student  .  especially  in  food  technology  .  when  he  was  young  ,  he  used  to  stand  at  the  kitchen  counter  ,  peering  over  the  top  to  see  what  his  mother  was  cooking    &    over  time  ,  it  became  his  passion  .  most  boys  his  age  were  into  sports    &    computer  games  ,  but  all  matías  cared  about  was  the  smell  of  bread  baking  in  the  oven  or  the  satisfied  smiles  on  his  family’s  faces  as  he  created  yet  another  delicious  meal  .  he  became  quite  good  at  it  ,    &    despite  how  proud  he  was  of  his  skills  he  felt  alone  in  school  .  nobody  understood  what  it  was  about  cooking  that  made  him  feel  so  fulfilled  ,    &    despite  his  mother’s  constant  reassurance  that  it  didn’t  matter  as  long  as  he  was  happy  ,  he  distanced  himself  from  the  oven    &   focused  on  computer  science  instead  .  it  didn’t  provide  the  same  form  of  contentment  as  cooking  did  ,  but  it  was  enough  to  occupy  his  mind    &    make  him  fit  in  .

           but  it  wasn’t  all  plain  sailing  ,  especially  for  the  castillos  .  not  long  after  matías’s  fourteenth  birthday  ,  victoria  was  rushed  in  to  hospital  due  to  unexplained  nose  bleeds    &    weight  loss  ,  which  both  led  to  an  incredibly  low  blood  pressure    &    a  worrying  amount  of  dizziness  .  after  hours  worth  of  blood  tests    &    different  types  of  medical  examinations  ,  the  family  were  faced  with  the  distressing  news  that  their  beloved  mother    &    wife  was  showing  symptoms  of  acute  leukemia  .  after  more  tests    &    scans  were  ran  ,  the  diagnosis  was  confirmed    &    the  severity  of  the  condition  rattled  the  family  as  a  whole  ,  no  more  than  matías  .  he  spent  hours  locked  away  in  his  room  ,  trying  to  come  to  terms  with  the  the  news  while  his  mother  received  failing  treatment  .  the  leukemia  had  spread  too  far  ,  reaching  to  her  vital  organs    &    they  knew  then  that  it  was  too  late  .  on  august  the  21st  ,  victoria  castillo  passed  away  with  one  final  request  to  her  son    :    take  care  of  the  family  .

           the  castillos  were  overcome  with  grief  ,  which  each  of  them  handled  in  their  own  way  .  the  girls  delved  into  their  school  work  as  a  form  of  distraction  .  matías  kept  his  promise    &    took  care  of  the  family  .  he  cooked  them  meals  ,  made  sure  his  sisters  were  getting  to  school  on  time    &   made  sure  his  father  didn’t  drown  himself  in  the  amount  of  alcohol  he’d  been  consuming  since  the  funeral  .  in  little  to  no  time  at  all  ,  he  became  the  man  of  the  family  despite  only  being  a  young  teen  in  high  school  ,  but  he  tried  his  best  however  hard  it  was  .  their  mother  had  managed  to  save  up  quite  a  collection  of  money  for  them  throughout  the  years  ,  but  it  didn’t  take  long  for  their  father  to  make  that  disappear  on  what  he  would  call  ‘ necessities ’  that  he’d  hide  from  his  children  too  quickly  for  them  to  have  a  good  look  .  as  suspicious  as  he  was  ,  matías  knew  he  couldn’t  spend  too  much  time  pondering  over  it  because  his  father  had  quit  his  job  ,    &    they  had  no  other  form  of  income  to  see  them  through  .

           for  a  little  while  ,  the  family  were  slowly  sinking  towards  the  way  of  poverty  ,    &    matías  was  struggling  to  find  ways  to  provide  for  them  .  he  tried  cleaning  windows  ,  washing  neighbours  cars  ,  but  none  of  the  money  he  earned  could  provide  enough  for  a  house  of  four  .  but  he  was  a  smart    &    determined  kid  ,  with  knowledge  way  beyond  his  years    &    after  trying    &    trying    &   trying  ,  he  found  a  solution  .  or  more  so  ,  the  solution  found  him  .  the  solution  being  one  of  his  classmates  wanting  unwarranted  access  to  a  friend’s  phone  .  matías  wasn’t  a  computer  expert  ,  but  he  knew  his  way  around  programs    &    after  learning  of  his  mother’s  condition  ,  he  lashed  out  a  little  in  school    &    managed  to  unlock  certain  websites  that  were  previously  banned  from  the  school  network  .  although  the  school  board  were  quick  to  notice    &   shut  down  the  sites  again  ,  they  never  found  the  culprit  ,  but  that  didn’t  mean  the  students  had  no  idea  who  did  it  .

           at  first  ,  matías  declined  .  he  had  so  much  to  worry  about  already  that  he  did  not  need  someone  wanting  to  find  out  their  friend’s  personal  information  being  on  his  shoulders  .  but  once  a  good  lump  sum  of  money  was  brought  to  the  table  ,  he  had  no  choice  but  to  agree  .  after  all  ,  it  was  only  one  person  ,  right    ?    if  only  that  were  true  .  after  succeeding  in  gaining  the  information  his  classmate  asked  for  ,  word  got  out    &    suddenly  he  had  a  whole  list  of  people  wanting  him  to  access  someone’s  system  for  one  reason  or  another  .  over  time  ,  he  became  quite  good  at  it    &    earned  a  lot  of  money  .  money  which  his  father  used  to  pay  for  the  debt  his  children  didn’t  know  about  .  no  matter  how  much  he  earned  ,  through  what  he’d  call  his  extra  curricular  activity  ,  it  would  go  in  alejandro’s  back  pocket  until  he  was  waist  height  in  debt  that  he  had  no  choice  but  to  admit  where  the  money  was  really  going  .  after  all  ,  matías  had  already  spotted  the  bags  of  powder    &    pills  his  father  had  attempted  to  stash  away  ,  which  he  had  skilfully  ignored  .

           uncovering  their  father’s  drug  addiction  caused  a  further  rift  between  the  family    &    matías  decided  he  had  had  enough  .  after  graduating  high  school  ,  he  had  good  enough  grades  to  further  his  education    &    achieve  his  bachillerato  certificate  in  food  technology  ,  pursuing  his  dream  career    &    fulfilling  his  mother’s  expectations  of  him  .  he  even  got  a  part  time  job  working  as  waiter  in  the  a  nearby  restaurant  ,  telling  himself  that  if  he  could  keep  this  up  for  another  couple  of  years  ,  he’d  be  able  to  leave  spain    &    his  estranged  family  behind  .  he  didn’t  tell  his  father  about  his  job  ,  however  .  he  used  enough  money  to  provide  for  the  family  but  the  rest  was  stored  away  somewhere  safe  for  later  use  ,    &    after  he  had  earned  his  certificate  ,  matías  booked  a  flight    &    earned  a  place  in  an  american  university  majoring  in  food  tech    &    left  his  old  life  behind  him  without  so  much  as  a  good  bye  .

          for  months  ,  he  had  to  swallow  his  guilt  for  leaving  his  family  .  after  all  ,  he  made  a  promise  to  his  mother    &    broke  it  by  leaving  his  family  in  the  thousands  of  euros  of  debt  his  father  had  landed  them  in  .  but  he  wasn’t  happy    ;    matías  wasn’t  happy  being  branded  as  a  castillo  .  he  didn’t  want  to  have  any  ties  to  his  family  so  after  a  few  months  of  living  in  the  US  ,  he  decided  to  change  his  name  .  it  took  a  lot  of  back    &    forth  throwing  of  different  names  but  after  a  while  of  deciding  ,  he  settled  on  avery  ybarra  .  nobody  would  ever  suspect  he  was  a  castillo  with  that  name  ,  or  so  ,  that’s  what  he  was  hoping  for  .  living  in  a  different  country  was  refreshing    ;    he  was  free  to  do  what  he  wanted  to  do    &   what  he  wanted  to  do  was  cook  .  but  he  needed  to  work  up  to  the  position  he  wanted  .  he  already  had  experience  as  a  waiter  ,  so  getting  a  job  in  that  department  was  easy  ,  but  it  was  soon  noticed  that  he  was  more  than  just  taking  orders    &    bringing  out  dishes  .  he’d  often  critique  the  food  that  was  being  sent  out  ,  which  at  first  his  boss  found  annoying  until  he  realised  that  the  customers  were  complaining  of  the  same  thing  ,    &    promoted  avery  to  chef  de  partie  as  a  roundsman  .

          his  newly  accounted  role  in  the  restaurant  boosted  sales  ,    &    his  talent  was  noticed  by  many  .  so  much  so  that  his  colleagues  ,  well  aware  of  his  passion  for  food  persuaded  him  to  apply  for  hell’s  kitchen’s  14th  season  .  as  reluctant  as  he  was  ,  he  eventually  applied    &   was  accepted  as  one  of  the  contestants  .  the  competition  was  tough  ,  but  he  battled  through  each  challenge  like  a  champion   &    gained  a  mass  following  on  his  instagram  ,  if  not  for  his  youthful  looks  then  it  was  his  attitude  in  the  kitchen  .  but  eventually  ,  on  june  the  9th  2015  ,  he  was  crowned  the  youngest  winner  of  hell’s  kitchen  .  after  that  ,  he  worked  closely  with  joël  robuchon  ,  a  world  renowned  french  chef  who’s  dishes  avery  was  in  awe  of  but  he  was  also  awarded  a  grand  total  of  $250,000  to  do  with  what  he  pleased  .  he  planned  to  buy  a  nice  home  ,  a  decent  car    &    put  some  money  to  one  side  so  he  could  eventually  purchase  his  own  restaurant  .  but  his  father  had  other  words  .

           after  his  victorious  win  ,  avery  ybarra  was  a  name  everyone  knew  .  young  ,  promising  ,    &    strikingly  handsome  ,  he  was  popular  among  many  .  but  back  home  ,  his  family  still  knew  him  as  matías  .  so  ,  in  return  for  his  family  to  not  expose  who  he  actually  was  ,  his  father  proposed  a  deal    :    pay  off  his  debt  ,  give  them  a  comfortable  amount  of  money  to  live  with  ,    &    then  they’d  have  nothing  to  do  with  him  again  .  avery  did  not  think  it  through  too  much  .  after  all  ,  how  much  debt  could  his  father  had  gotten  them  into  within  such  a  short  space  of  time    ?    his  first  mistake  was  underestimating  his  father’s  addiction  ,    &    after  paying  off  the  debt    &    giving  them  a  lump  sum  to  spend  in  their  bank  accounts  ,  he  was  left  with  next  to  nothing  .  avery  felt  sad  ,  manipulated    &    above  all  betrayed  .  he  never  trusted  his  father  to  begin  with  ,    &    there  was  a  good  reason  why  .

            *  here’s  where  his  secret  goes  but  let’s  say  he  got  a  lot  of  money  *

           at  first  ,  avery  didn’t  know  what  to  do  with  the  money  .  he  just  needed  enough  to  get  him  off  his  feet  .  but  after  time  ,  he  did  everything  he  had  planned  before  .  he  had  his  nice  apartment  ,  his  luxurious  car  ,  started constructing  own  restraurant  ,    &    a  pile  of  designer  clothes  that  eventually  were  given  to  him  by  brands  over  time  .  his  following  on  social  media  kept  growing    &    brands  kept  coming  to  him  to  promote  their  products  ,    &    suddenly  avery  didn’t  need  to  do  what  he  used  to  to  gain  money  any  more  .  he  started  a  youtube  channel  where  he  would  teach  people  how  to  cook  ,  a  channel  that  soon  hit  off    &    earned  him  more  money  over  time  .  eventually  ,  he  settled  into  his  new  profit    &   his  new  life  as  avery  ybarra  .  he  wasn’t  matías  castillo  any  more  ,    &   it  about  time  the  world  knew  about  it  .

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘  .

           due  to  the  course  his  life  took  ,  avery  has  altered  a  lot  through  the  years  .  when  he  was  a  child  ,  he  had  a  simplistic  outlook  on  life    &    didn’t  really  take  notice  of  a  lot  of  things  ,  mostly  because  he  didn’t  need  to  .  now  ,  avery  is  thoughtful  .  every  decision  he  makes  has  to  be  well  thought  out  before  he  can  even  consider  carrying  it  out  ,  mostly  due  to  the  fact  that  he  doesn’t  want  to  embarrass  himself  or  come  across  as  somebody  who’s  relatively  useless  .  avery  is  also  very  critical  of  other  people’s  actions  .  he  has  this  mindset  where  he  believes  he  is  superior  to  other  people  ,    &    that  often  shines  through  in  consistent  eye  rolling    &    only  listening  to  half  of  what  someone  says  before  occupying  his  mind  with  something  else  .  if  he  sees  someone  as  being  dull    &    boring  ,  he’ll  immediately  shut  off    &    act  like  they  don’t  exist  because  to  him  ,  they’re  just  wasting  their  time  talking  to  him  .

           despite  all  this  ,  however  ,  avery  is  very  humble  about  his  career  .  he  knows  he’s  a  good  cook    (    after  all  ,  he  won  hell’s  kitchen    !    )    but  he  doesn’t  let  it  get  to  his  head  .  he  knows  he  can  be  better   &    excel  in  it  ,  so  until  he’s  the  best  of  the  best  ,  he’s  not  satisfied  .  he’s  very  ambitious    &    is  not  afraid  to  speak  his  mind  if  it  means  it’ll  benefit  him  in  some  way  .  a  lot  of  the  time  ,  he  speaks  his  mind  anyway  .  avery  is  a  very  outspoken  individual  ,  not  afraid  to  voice  his  opinion  no  matter  who  agrees  or  disagrees  .  the  fact  of  the  matter  is  ,  he  simply  doesn’t  care  enough  .  people  are  generally  irrelevant  to  him  ,  especially  if  they  serve  no  purpose  in  his  life  so  it’s  not  uncommon  for  him  to  be  rude    &    brash  whenever  he  wants  to  be  ,  even  if  it’s  uncalled  for  .  he  doesn’t  care  about  hurting  other’s  feelings  ,  no  matter  the  cost  of  it  .

           avery  is  also  ,  despite  popular  belief  ,  incredibly  loyal  .  he’s  not  opposed  to  sleeping  with  strangers  ,  but  when  he’s  committed  to  something  ,  he’s  in  it  wholeheartedly  until  he  loses  interest  or  for  whatever  reason  he  can’t  anymore  .  but  ,  getting  close  to  avery  is  very  difficult  .  with  him  being  a  secretive  individual  ,  he  tends  to  hide  his  thoughts    &    feelings  so  as  a  result  ,  can  come  across  as  being  quite  fickle  .  he’s  a  man  who  knows  what  he  wants  in  terms  of  his  career    &    lifestyle  ,  but  in  terms  of  everything  else  ,  he’s  still  not  sure  what  exactly  he’s  searching  for  .  he’s  an  aimless  wanderer  ,  meaning  he  travels  a  lot  in  order  to  gain  more  knowledge  .  be  it  in  food  or  culture  in  general  ,  avery  is  always  keen  to  learn  something  new    &    bring  it  home  to  share  with  everyone  else    (    or  those  who  he  feels  are  deserving  ,  that  is    )    .

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃  𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒  .

           𝖎  .  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭  𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝  :  avery  isn’t  the  best  at  making  friends  but  this  person  is  the  one  avery  is  closest  to  .  honestly  ,  i  imagine  them  to  have  the  same  dynamic  as  nick    &    schmidt  from  new  girl    ??    this  person  has  probably  seen  a  side  to  avery  that  very  little  people  have  seen  before    &    is  one  of  the  only  people  he  can  relax  around    !

           𝖎𝖎  .  𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞  /  𝐧𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐫  :  listen    !    these  are  my  favourite  sort  of  plots  because  i  feel  like  they  can  be  go  in  so  many  different  directions    &    i  just  love  them  so  much    ??    i  feel  like  with  avery  being  such  a  difficult  person  to  get  along  with  ,  it’d  be  interesting  to  see  how  he’d  live  with  /  next  to  someone  else    !    brownie  points  if  they  just  moved  in    &    it’s  all  awks  .

            𝖎𝖎𝖎  .  𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬  𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡  𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐭𝐬  :  ok  hear  me  out  ...  avery  can  be  quite  insufferable    &    more  often  than  not  finds  a  way  to  bicker  about  anything    &    everything  .  anyway  ,  these  two  pick  fights  about  almost  everything    &    as  the  tension  builds  up  everything  gets  foggier  the  more  angry  they  get  then  ...  u  Know  how  the  story  ends  .  ‘  this  is  the  last  time  ’  they  say  ten  million  times  .

           𝖎𝖛  .  𝐩𝐫  𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩  :  i  don’t  mean  like  justin    &    hailey  ‘  let’s  pretend  we’re  married  ’  sorta  vibes  .  imagine  them  going  out  on  fake  dates  ,  been  spotted  out  in  public  holding  hands  ,  whoever  set  them  out  to  do  this  thought  it  was  a  brilliant  idea  but  they  might  have  different  thoughts  .  brownie  points  if  they  hate  each  other  .  extra  brownie  points  if  they  can’t  tell  anyone  about  it  .

            𝖛  .  𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠  𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞  𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩  :  god  i  literally  love  this  connection  so  SO  much  .  avery  p  much  lost  his  siblings  so  give  him  SOMEONE  to  be  protective  over    &    care  for  ok  i  would  DIE  my  heart  is  soft  .  let  them  be  confiding  watching  comedy  movies  all  day    &    fighting  over  who  gets  the  remote  .  how  sweet  :’)

           𝖛𝖎  .  𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬  :  an  iconic  connection  that  Never  gets  old  .  these  two  do  not  get  on  ,  for  whatever  reason  they  go  together  like  chalk    &    cheese    &    are  always  fighting  about  something  .  their  interactions  consist  of  them  constantly  wanting  to  one - up  each  other    &    it’s  like  a  battle  of  who  can  win  this  time  .

[jiminies-ahmee]

HEADCANON: BEST FRIEND!PARK JIMIN

Requested by anon, hope you like it xx 

he’d be the sweetest friend 

so sweet that most people would think the two of you were a couple

in their defence, you and jimin did love one another but it was that brotherly-sisterly love 

your family had been close as both of your dads worked in the same office together 

so it was quite inevitable that the both of you would be tight-knit friends 

he was a little older than you, mind you, so he used it to his advantage sometimes 

“you know i’m older than you, right y/n?” 

“that doesn't mean i have to do your chores, you idiot! i’m your friend not your sister!” 

your parents would treat jimin as their own son and his parents would do the same to you 

summers were spent outdoors, in the garden 

... 

and usually ended with the both of you drenched bc one of you decided to turn on the hose AND sprinklers hehe 

winters were spent cuddled up at the local coffee shop after school and going to the skating rink with pink noses and cheeks on the weekends (sometimes with taehyung bc you both liked his company) 

autumn was spent huffing about at the fact that your parents had sent you out to rake the leaves in the backyard even if jimin had come over 

and so once you’d raked all the leaves, you’d turn around for a moment only to hear a loud ‘yaaaaaah’ and then the crunch of thousands of leaves 

damn you park jimin 

so would begin a wrestle match in the pile of leaves you’d barely managed to gather, with a giggling mess of a jimin almost crying from happiness at your annoyed expression 

and springs would be spent in the country-side, picking flowers and laying under trees to see the clouds 

he’d have so many nicknames for you 

at times he’d have to make up new ones 

but his most favourite one would be ‘chubs’ 

not bc of your looks, but just bc he liked how it sounded lmao 

he’d literally take up all your camera roll with selfies of him bc “what else do you need to take photos of, y/n?” 

and sometimes when the both of you were bored, the both of you would sit around in your room trying to see who could make the cringiest and sappiest of nicknames

“pumpkin” 

“munchkin” 

“y/n i feel offended, are you trying to say something about my height?” 

for some time, the both of you would move to separate schools during high school 

that’s when your weekends became reserved for one another 

and that’s when you came to meet jimin’s school friends: namjoon, yoongi, hoseok, taehyung and jungkook 

there was also seokjin but he’d just graduated and moved out of town for a little while 

you got along with them quite well, and though jimin was quite close to them too, he also reserved his weekends for you 

“i gotta see y/n, she probably misses me so much, you know?” 

“oh yeah, i missed you like crazy. stop bluffing to your friends, jimin, you just needed someone to drive you home” 

sometimes jimin would start dancing at the randomest of moments and after a while you’d start telling him off for it bc 

“you need to stop showing off, park, everyone knows you dance like a god, okay? there. i said it.” 

cue a very smug jimin 

he loved getting compliments for you 

so for his birthday you made him a jar filled with compliments that he took out every day (along with other things ofc) 

YOU’D SING DUETS IN THE CAR WITH THE VOLUME UP MAX 

be it beyonce, adele, some ed sheeran, y’all kill it 

and sometimes you’d fight over the aux cord but ya know, you both end up resolving it like mature adults 

“jimin if you don't give me the goddamn aux cord i will cut your hair” 

“oh bull! don't throw empty threats like that, y/n, we all know you're too chicken and love me too much to do that” 

“oh really?” *whips out scissors* “little did you know i was prepared for this exact situation. hand it over, jimin and you wont lose a strand of hair.” 

this is getting a lil long so imma wrap it up 

honestly having a friendship with jimin would be the most beautiful thing ever 

im jealous of his friends :( 

[primabcllerina-blog]

⇢ ☆ did i just see CINDY KIMBERLY walking down hollywood boulevard? no, that’s just JULIETTA SANTOS, the TWENTY-ONE year old CISFEMALE and aspiring DANCER. i heard SHE has been described as +ARDENT & +CREATIVE, but can also be -RETICENT & -STUBBORN. i think i heard on tmz that UP UNTIL THE SHOW BEGAN, SHE WAS HOMELESS, LIVING OUT OF HER CAR but that’s probably not true. guess we’ll have to see if they make it.

heeeyyOoOoOoo friendos!! i’m mack, and this is my tiny dancer julietta. uh uhhh uhhhh under the cut you’ll find a run down of her background + her personality + connection ideas and i’m gonna .... try not to ramble but i’m Queen of That Shit™ so. .. .. .. godspeed

BACKGROUND.

julietta was born and raised in san bernadino, california where the crime rates are high, the public schools are shitty, and the temperature never dips below 50º !! her father wasn’t around and her mother ... really wasn’t much of a mother. she tried to be, but [ DRUG ADDICTION CW, OVERDOSE CW;; she was a young parent and struggled with a heroin addiction before her pregnancy and unfortunately continued to struggle with it after her daughter was born. she was in and out of rehab, clean one year and hooked again the next. when julietta was ten, her mother lost that battle and died of an overdose. ]

luckily, jules was in good hands. her grandmother loved her like she was the only good thing in the world. she was the one who enrolled jules in her first dance class at the age of three. the two of them spent an obscene amount of time in dance classes or at competitions. julietta thrived on stage, in fact, it was the only place she really allowed herself to be unapologetically, vibrantly her.

she did well in school but kept to herself for the most part. her evenings and weekends were spent in a dance studio or at competitions, and what little time she had left was taken up by her place on her high school’s dance team, homework, or a part time job teaching dance classes. things weren’t perfect, they weren’t easy, but they were okay for a while.

when jules was sixteen, however, her grandmother fell ill. she took the year off of competitions, picked up more hours of teaching, and watched as the woman who raised her withered away along with any financial stability the santos family might’ve had. hospital bills were high and morale was low. after a year and a half of sick, rita santos, the woman who shaped julietta, passed away.

jules was left alone, lost, and reluctant to go into the foster system as she was on the cusp of eighteen, so, as the sole benefactor of her grandmother’s assets, she did what she could. but funds run out and things go terribly wrong. after graduation, she hightailed it out of san bernadino and drove just a bit farther north to get back into the dance game and to further her education. 

she used what money she had left to rent a shitty apartment and worked her butt off teaching dance classes and going to school part time. but funds run out and things go terribly wrong. unfortunately, julietta got involved with the wrong people, fell in love with the wrong boy, and signed a contract with the wrong agency. her ‘friends’ surrounded her with the same toxicity that killed her mother. her boyfriend made her feel small and slept with a slew of other people while they were together. her agent took her money and never got her gigs, skipping town when she finally caught on. 

so she was pretty down in the dumps, but if her grandma taught her anything, it was resilience. but funds run out and things go!! terribly wrong!! unfortunately, she was forced to leave that shitty apartment and couch surfed in between stints of living in her car.

most of her money comes from teaching courses at different dance studios, cash prizes from competitions, and now the show. it was pure luck that she got on, got an apartment, and got to cut back on working in order to spend more time auditioning. things are looking up, but she’s not entirely sure she’s ready for the pressure of sharing her personal life with national television.

PERSONALITY. 

julietta is incredibly passionate about dance and really comes to life when she’s on stage. pointe/classical ballet is her favorite, but she’s also professionally trained in contemporary/modern, hiphop, ballroom and–– though she might not admit to it–– tap. the julietta on stage is her truest form, where she’s honest and open and good. really, really good.

she’s stubborn as fuck and a little bit too much of a perfectionist. she works herself to exhaustion and tends to be her own biggest critic. it adds to her greatness as she pushes herself to be the best she can be, but it causes issues as well. because she’s so hardheaded, she doesn’t recognize her own limits. she won’t take help, even when it’s stupid to refuse it. like yes life throws her some curveballs but fucking hell she tends to make her own problems much worse.

she’s very very very ,... quite. ‘demure’ or ‘wallflower’ fits tbh. when she speaks, it’s purposeful, but it’s rare. more often than not, she spends her time observing rather than speaking, at the edge of a party rather than at the center of it. like she really is an introvert through and through, only letting that goofy, more vulnerable side of herself out when she’s around people who know her very well.

she’s got an old soul. like she just carries herself in the way natalie wood or rita hayworth or grace kelly would. she’s a hopeless romantic like that, idk how to explain it!!!

worries about literally everything all the time. Mom Friend™

she’s just... v quiet. v thoughtful and v quiet. wants to be your friend but is too scared to ask you. 

FUN FACTS.

goes on runs when she gets stressed out; stays after hours in the studio when she’s had a bad day

dabbles in choreography and might be good at it but is TOO NERVOUS TO SHOW ANYONE

has a cat named binx that is a very recent addition to the santos family but yes he’s named after that binx

loves holidays. is 110% the kind of mom friend that sends her friends holiday themed care packages when she can afford it

life dream??? being misty copeland tbh. would settle for dancing with the stars opposite like.... chris hemsworth or michael b jordan tbh

keeps a thought journal on her at all times

wears one (1) piece of jewelry at all times: gold pendant necklace her grandma gave her on her 16th

wannabe selena quintanilla but isn’t a pop star soOoOoo

CONNECTION IDEAS.

old pals!! like long time friends from socal or school

bad influence/good influence 

confidant.... both ways man someone she can talk to or someone that feels ready to vent to her

competitors like get her riled up and angry because that doesn’t happen too often

that brother/sister friendship like so close they might as well be family................ bc you know she doesn’t hAVE any

this bitch is BROKE so !! roommates wanted and appreciated 

“are they just friends or are they dating who knows? not me”

that ride or die best friendship like seriously i just really love... fierce girl gang plots ok ok ok

“you know what stan twitter would love? a making it showmance”

bitch i love brainstorming and chem!!! so!! these are just run of the mill ideas to start with

SO ANYWAY THIS IS JULIETTA .... and it’s 1443245432 times longer than i wanted it to be so tldr: ya girl has had a rough go at it but she’s a-okay, quiet and observant and thriving on the dance stage !! will mom u and love u forever unless u hurt her feelings too much ya know???

so!! like this and i’ll IM you SORRY SORRY SORRY THIS IS SO LONG ALSDKJFHA

[coloringmysensescherryred]

2017

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? I went to Japan, graduated college, started teaching English in South Korea, and dated a Korean guy - a year full of traveling and adventures! 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Last year I had two resolutions - eat better so I didn’t feel like I was gonna shit myself so often, and to stop looking for love and let it find me. TBH I followed them both - shoutout to Korea for helping me with them! Korea’s food is just much better on my internal pipes in terms of health, and the boyfriend thing kinda just happened. I’m more proud of myself for ending it when I wasn’t happy but I wasn’t forcing any sort of relationship, it happened organically; so I’m pleased that I stuck to my guns.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope! Most of my friends aren’t even married yet! (Not that you can’t have a baby without being married but ya know.)

4. Did anyone close to you die? No, thank god.  

5. What countries did you visit? Japan and Korea! 

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? I would like to have more confidence to straight-up tell people when they are doing things that make me mad or irritate me or that I don’t like. That is my new years resolution this year. 

7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? March 23rd - the day I got my email saying I got into Fulbright! and June 7th - the day I left for Korea for a full year. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Fucking picking up my entire life and moving to Korea on my own. Like I have so many friends here in my program, but I was basically coming alone because I knew that I would be separate from them when we went to our placements after six weeks. 

9. What was your biggest failure? I don’t know, I felt like I succeeded in all the ways that mattered? I guess my biggest “failure” was confessing my feelings to my crush and him having to let me down because he had just gotten out of a serious relationship and wasn’t ready (altho I think he did like me tbh). So all things considered, that is a pretty good track record for an important year. 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nope! 

11. What was the best thing you bought? Netflix?? I had had it for like six months before Korea buutttt it has been a fucking lifesaver for me abroad. It’s a way to hear English from native mouths when I live in a homestay and don’t get to speak English with native speakers that often. It’s also great to do on traveling (like on trains and buses). Bless up to a great monthly investment. 

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? BURG, aka @officialff7remake. Homeboy was there for me when I was freaking out about MP or thesis or boys and just to pal around and drink with. The tightest of homies and I can’t thank him enough. <3 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled? I guess my Korean ex, Huijae? He literally had never dated ANYONE before me, Korean or otherwise, and he while he meant well, he had no emotional intelligence and really did things that bugged me and patronized me and was trying to be manipulative? and I didn’t need that shit? So I got out of that relationship after holding back my own feelings for too long and I’m so much happier and I don’t really talk to him anymore (he has texted a few times after we broke up to ask if he could come visit my host family because he “missed them” *eye roll* but i haven’t let him and he goes off to military service in like two weeks so I think i’m in the clear). 

14. Where did most of your money go? FOOD. I literally just buy food in Korea. Oh, and train tickets to go to Seoul or wherever. 

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? IT by Stephen King. I was fucking so hyped about it and luckily its release date in Korea was the same as in America so I saw it the night it came out! Also, obvi Fulbright and teaching in Korea. :) 

16. What song will always remind you of 2017? 빨간맛 by Red Velvet and DNA by BTS! Two songs that I have heard OVER AND OVER in korea and I still love them. 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? I’m a. happier (or about the same - I was done with first sem and my thesis and had gone to Japan so I was probs p happy back then too), b. thinner! (I have lost like 10 or 12 lbs in Korea - wasn’t trying to but the food is just less fattening I think, and I walk more and go to an aerobics class like 3 or 4 times a week!), and c. richer! I’m not rich rich by any means but I have more money from fulbright than I was making as a waitress. :) 

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Idk - I did really what I wanted second sem of school, like hanging with MP and drinking and having spontaneous fun, and saw all the people I wanted to before I left for Korea, but I guess I wish I had done more solo trips in Korea? I want to do more before second sem starts too, and I want to visit my friends in their respective cities more because I didn’t get to do that so much in the fall because of my stupid fucking ex always coming to my town and taking up every literal weekend. I wish I was joking about that but it was bad. 

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Spend less time napping! I like naps but then I feel like i miss out on things, as well as have trouble falling asleep at decent times on school nights. Also, I wish I had spent less time being miserable about my relationship and ended it earlier. I gotta put myself the fuck first this year. 

20. How did you spend Christmas? I spent an early Christmas on the 23rd with 6 Fulbright friends in Gwangju, and ended up getting drunk and dancing at the airbnb with all the other tenants for the night! It was really fun. I then spent actual Christmas eve and day at a hotel with my host fam and close family friends, just seeing the ocean (in the freezing cold) and eating seafood stew. I was glad to be with them but I missed home SO fucking much during that time. I did Skype my fam on Christmas eve morning so I saw them a little! 

21. Did you fall in love in 2017? I don't know if I can call it love, but I had a serious crush that was more than just infatuation with a guy in my last sem of college. I didn’t know what I wanted because I was leaving America and he was still a sophomore but I just knew that I could see us together, and it didn’t work out but I still have hope for the future. And with my Korean ex, it wasn’t love at all but I did like him so there’s that? 

22. What was your favorite TV program? In terms of things that I watched in 2017 that I really liked? Breaking Bad, Dark, Stranger Things season 2, and Rupaul’s Drag Race!

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? My ex? Yeah, it’s petty, but whenever I talk about him or see his picture I get mad. I guess that only half counts on this bc I didn’t know him this time last year? But I don’t hate anyone else. 

24. What was the best book you read? It by Stephen King. That thing is a fucking masterpiece. 

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Sam Smith, biiiiitch. His newest album is all amazing and I slept on him for too long! Like I knew he was good but this new album is amazing.

26. What did you want and get? I wanted Fulbright and I got it! 

27. What did you want and not get? I wanted to be with aforementioned crush but it was bad timing. Win some, lose some, live & learn. 

28. What was your favorite film of this year? I CAN’T CHOOSE

29. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Going through second sem of senior year knowing I had a job after graduation? 

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? it has changed a little since coming to Korea in order to try and not stand out so much? I have switched to more solid color tops rather than lots of prints, and I dress more demurely? Like less cleavage showing because that’s how koreans do (not that I am against it, but I’m just tryna fit in). 

31. What kept you sane? Sydney, my best friend in the entire world. (This was my answer from last year and the year before that and the year before that AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT but it still holds true) also everyone in the sv discord chat still AND natalie of course of course

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? All the drag queens from Drag Race but especially Trixie & Katya? Ummm also BTS but what is new. ;) 

33. What political issue stirred you the most? everything trump and his administration do and the net neutrality repeal. :( 

34. Who did you miss? I miss my dogs and my mom and my sister and Brian and Cannon and grammy and my MP friends. <3 Being in Korea away from them has been really hard sometimes.  35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. If you really want something, strive for it. Keep your expectations low, but believe in yourself and what you are capable of shining through and getting you what you really want. <3 

36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. “don’t you get lost in nostalgia, no” - Lost in Nostalgia, The Maine

“take me with you / cause even on your own, you are not alone” - Portugal, Walk the Moon

[scrambledthoughtz]

reflections

it’s a weird time right now for sure. i’m feeling a mix of emotions. relief. pride. happiness. disappointment. frustration. confusion. boredom. 

so there’s a lot that’s been running through my head, but it’s kind of been swelling up and dying down, so i’ve never really thought that it’s been worth to note down. 

well, to begin with, i got into all the UC’s i applied to. UC Berkeley, UCLA, UC Davis, UC Irvine, UC San Diego, UC Santa Barbara, and UC Santa Cruz. i’m honestly still in shock. so. much. shock. i know i worked hard at Ohlone, but there’s also a part of me that knows that i could have worked harder. there’s a part of me that really, really wonders: why me? how? how did this even happen? what did i do to deserve this? admittedly, there’s a part of me that was like, oh. if i could do it, then it can’t possibly be that hard. i didn’t even get a 4.0 gpa. i really don’t think i could have had the essays polished to the point that they were without my friend. i felt a familiar frustration & guilt, like the tugging feeling at the bottom of my stomach when i had received an A on my country report, when in reality, the morning that it was due, i had woken up and found my report typed and finished by my mom. that A was HER accomplishment, not mine. while, yes, i did anxiously sit on that cruise in France, late at night, taking advantage of the espresso machine, writing out drafts upon drafts of ideas on paper, i can’t help but think that i don’t really deserve this. my friend’s an incredible writer, and there was a lot of rephrasing that she did to make my essays sound more poignant and compelling, and i can’t help but think that it wasn’t 100% my work. but of course i’m proud of myself. a little too proud of myself, for that matter. looking back, my ego swells as i admit to myself that i worked harder than some of my classmates, and that i really put in the effort to graduate with a near-perfect gpa. (fuck you geography & ethics, by the way). i recognize that i didn’t have to put 100% into my assignments to do well. there’s a part of me that feels guilty about those A’s, knowing that i didn’t put my blood, sweat, and tears into earning them. but well, with all that being said, i think i really did take the time to bask in my glory. i unapologetically blabbed it all over my social media to say the least lol.

i’m not going to lie -- deciding between UC Berkeley and UCLA was one of the hardest decisions that i’ve ever had to make. i still cannot CANNOT believe that i turned down Berkeley. i still remember worrying throughout that entire week, knowing that it would end with my Berkeley decision. i was so grateful to have work that day, so that i could take my mind off the anxiety. wow. wow, wow, wow. when i took a few deep breaths, closed my eyes, clicked “status update” and saw the words “congratulations”? oh my god the pure ELECTRICITY that shot through my body in those few initial seconds before my mind caught up. i wish i could bottle up that feeling and cherish it forever. there are few moments that i have been so so shocked, confused, and awe-struck, all at the same time. I GOT INTO BERKELEY, I GOT INTO BERKELEY i screamed as i practically glided over the stairs. i was shaking, my mind was racing, and i felt like i couldn’t catch a full breath from the pure excitement that took over my body and mind. i felt like i was floating the rest of the day. my family and i went on a gorgeous hike that evening, but i could barely comprehend my surroundings, i was too busy checking who had seen my Instagram story. who had sent me “congratulations” in my dm’s. i honestly wish i had filmed my reaction. it was so organic -- the pure emotion. admittedly, it was almost like the rest of the decisions took a backseat. i opened each with the expectation of getting in. i hate, hate, hate to say that bc i should have been so much more grateful to get into these schools. high school me would have burst into tears from pure joy from getting into any of the UC’s. in hindsight, i should have appreciated it more. it’s just the thought of: “wow, you want me??? but wait -- i’ve spent the last four (and two) years of my life wanting YOU!” 

once i got into berkeley, the only other decision that mattered to me was UCLA. i had been told that people rarely get into both, so i didn’t hold my hopes up too high. i knew that it was hard to get into, and i was already over the moon about the fact that i had gotten into Berkeley. but secretly, i knew i would be a little disappointed if i didn’t get in. i was expecting a waitlist, at least. UCLA came out the latest, on the same day as UCSD. my friend had told me that it was coming out at 5 pm, so i naturally spent the entire day trying to tamper down my nerves. i remember i had driven my sister to the ATM that evening when my friend texted me that it came out. immediate butterflies. i drove home and took a few deep breaths. i’ll just open it to get it over with i told myself. i was already shaking a little when i saw that a status update had been posted. oh, my god let me tell you. when i saw the blue banner at the top of the page reading “congrats, you’re bruin bound!” i could. not. believe. it. both Berkeley AND LA???? this was too good to be true. i needed to pinch myself a few times. I GOT INTO LA, I GOT INTO LA, I GOT INTO LA!!!!! i was screaming and shaking. i couldn’t believe it. 

in my 9th grade health class, our teacher had us each write a letter to our future self, for our senior selves to read. my 9th grade self had hoped that my senior self would get into UCLA. i can’t really explain it -- i’ve just always, always wanted to go to UCLA. needless to say, senior self was angry and disappointed that she had not lived up to her past self. but wow. wow, wow, wow. if freshman self saw current self. i don’t know what she would say. i think she would be at a loss for words too. but she would be ecstatic. current self certainly is. i can’t explain why i’ve always gravitated towards UCLA. i’ve never even visited lol. but i think that (kind of irrational) emotional connection was hard to dismiss when i was deciding. but of course, this decision did not come easy by any means. i was pretty set on going to Berkeley at one point (and believe me -- had i not gotten into LA, i would have HAPPILY gone to Berkeley, no doubt about it). that morning, i woke up with the intention of committing to Berkeley, but then i just started sobbing. i was shaking and crying and i couldn’t stop. i think that was a turning point for me (-ish lol). my friend called it my “coming-of-age movie moment”, which is honestly kind of accurate. it’s like that moment in Ladybird when she decides to follow her heart and dreams and move to New York City to pursue her education. 

now, with that being said, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank x a million to Berkeley for this opportunity. oh my god, i still can’t believe you wanted me. it’s of the highest honor to be considered among your applicant pool, and i really wish i could have just gone to both schools. thank you, Berkeley. so, so, so much. from the bottom of my heart. you will really always hold a special place in my heart. Berkeley is practically my second home, having visited my grandma every weekend. i’m pretty sure i could navigate a good portion of Telegraph, College Ave, University, and Solano without a gps, and that’s saying a lot. thank you, Berkeley. really. maybe grad school, hopefully? anyways, i’ve made up my mind. i took a leap of faith, and there’s no looking back.

[broship-addict]

can I request some Jean headcanons? jusr facts abt him bc I miss my precious son and I love ur writing so muhc

I’m going to have to change this to Jean + the Trojans + slowly healing because I’ve been thinking about them for weeks

the first summer and winter break, Jean chooses to stay near USC because leaving the court is unthinkable 

but it’s spring break and Jean is slowly learning how to relax a bit, how to find a rhythm without another Raven at his side and without the Moriyamas breathing down his neck

Jeremy invites him home, to visit his family, and after a week’s worth of thought and texts from Renee and reminders that he’s free, Jean says yes

please take a moment to consider half black, half Japanese Jeremy Knox with a smile that can blind and a fierce determination to make Jean feel more comfortable

so he brings Jean home and his little sister latches on immediately to this tall beanpole and demands lift-off

Jean is so confused??? Because Jeremy was so nervous about making sure that Jean would be fine that he kind of forgot to warn him that his sister is a menace

they meet Jeremy’s dad, who tries to recruit Jean into playing Exy with him and the sister against Jeremy (”we haven’t beaten him once!! sportsmanship my ass!!”) and Jeremy’s mom, who is so excited to be able to talk to someone in Japanese without them flopping around for words they should know already (side-eyes Jeremy Knox)

and Jean finally manages to relax and is having the time of his life

Jeremy’s mom tells jokes to him across the dining table and laughs with him over bits of slang, her voice sweet and cheerful and everything that Jean’s always wanted

when he checks Jeremy, his dad gives Jean a high-five so hard that it stings his palms a bit (but in a good way)

(he doesn’t think about his own family, about the parents who sold him off to repay a debt. because thinking about them means thinking about their betrayal and Jean doesn’t want to accidently lash out at Jeremy’s family in anger)

Jeremy manages to convince Jean to watch something that isn’t Exy, and that’s when they find out that Jean gets a little too passionate about children’s cartoons

(the next summer break comes up and Jeremy nervously offers to let Jean stay at his place again and Jean tells him he’s only going for his family)

Alvarez instantly tries to stick to Jean, but backs off a little when it’s clear that it makes him uncomfortable

instead, she tries to support him in other ways: stick clacks that don’t jar his elbows when they trade places on court, jogging with him during warm up, and literally lifting Jean up and carrying him off court when he twists his ankle because holy shit, you shouldn’t have to play like that

she calls herself his backliner buddy

Jean thinks that she’s absolutely ridiculous, but for some reason she only grins when he tells her

here’s the thing: the Trojans are excellent people and players but they also refuse to take Jean’s shit when he automatically falls back on Raven-instilled hierarchy or lets himself lash out in frustration

it’s probably the best thing they could do for his healing, because being in the Nest so long had made him forget how to interact with people

the teammates who have him in classes try there best to support him, but also push him to talk to people outside of Exy and it slowly works

the coach has to pull Jean a few times when he makes a check that balances too precariously on foul/not foul, but eventually Jean starts unlearning some of the habits he thought were ingrained into him forever

Renee never really has time to come over and visit him - airfare is expensive, holidays are usually spent with her foster mother, California is on the other side of the country), but she texts him good mornings and good nights (and timezones make them match up with the early hours he keeps) 

during Championships when the Foxes fly to California to play, Renee insists that Jean shows her around before she leaves and that’s what helps convince him that maybe Exy doesn’t have to be everything

(the next weekend when Alvarez gives the usually invite to go out, he agrees)

by the time he graduates, he has a pro-team contract lined up, twenty numbers in his phone that he texts on a fairly regular basis, and the realization that he’s allowed to live without constant fear and pain

I mentioned before that it’s a good thing that Jean never joins Court; instead he finds himself falling in and out of hobbies until he finds something he enjoys

he gives up on video games and the pointlessness of them, but learns how to knit and crochet and write

(mostly, he learns how to care for himself)

[dahliias]

hello children it me theye. i am playing my love, my life, dahlia. you can read about my trash monster below n as always pls come plot w me ,,,,, u all know how i feel about plotting 

lmao so. this is dahlia day hayes, aka twin sister to dexter hayes, aka the sensible one

jus call her dahlia . there are nicknames her Favorite People can use (dee namely) but if ur not someone she actively likes she’ll probably pour her drink on you lmao

ok so dahlia is 22, bisexual but its like a men 5 / 95 women thing , like she can appreciate the male form but 100% if u dont eat ur girl out she will 

so dahlia grew up in new york with a really irresponsible mum and a constantly growing family; her dad abandoned her, shes got 5 younger siblings she helped raise, it was a real fun shitshow

basically her entire life up until about 16 was her family -- dexter, her siblings, her mother, she was consumed with morning routines, bedtimes, diapers, sick children, dishes, laundry -- she had almost no personality outside of “caretaker”

except .... dahlia is lowkey p freaking amazing up in her head ? she’s amazing at engineering and math. she can fix microwaves, toasters, ovens, driers, cars, blenders. if something broke in the hayes household, it’s dahlia you’d hear little voices screaming for. 

she also has a calculator up in that head of hers. she’s been doing advanced calc since 8th grade, and senior year she was bored in two different ap math classes.

when she was 16 she decided that she wanted to try to make something of herself. she thought if she could claw her way out of the poverty-stricken mess, she could eventually bring her siblings with her and they could live a good life

so she applied for hundreds, hundreds of scholarships, met with college representatives, took her s.a.ts three times to get her 2300, -- all behind her family’s -- and dexter’s -- back

mid senior year, she found out that, against all odds, she had managed a full scholarship, living costs + relocation fees included, to berkley. with this knowledge, she pushed herself, and graduated with a 4.5.

she didn’t know how to tell her family, so she waited until a family dinner a few nights after her 18th birthday that she’d be leaving them. it broke her heart, but she desperately wanted to pursue her dreams, she wanted to know more about the world, and see more things than just the view from her crowded bedroom. 

she left for berkley in august -- and it was nothing like she expected? it was horrid. overwhelming. her dorm room was too empty. she missed her family. it was like they were inside of her, ripping her to pieces trying to drag her back to them.  she loved berkley, and finally had found a place she truly felt like she could belong and flourish, but she couldn’t handle being so far away from her twin, her babies, and her mother.

during spring break, when she finally saved up through work study to return, she dropped out and stayed with her family again; she hated herself for giving up something she was so excited and passionate about, but she felt like she couldn’t justify leaving her kids just to be selfish

so she adapted. she started working, although illegally, at a little nightclub as a waitress -- it helped, some, that she looked young, because sleezy drunk men were always willing to tip a young-looking blonde a little extra. 

she did a fair bit of illegal shit too -- she stole, she cheated, she pickpocketed, she conned, -- and eventually she ended up in underground fighting

she’s good, too. at first she came home with the shit kicked out of her every night, but she learned to anticipate the throws and learned where to hit to make it hurt, and how to use her body to hurt other people. 

she only fought on the weekends, but it was enough at the time

dahlia also grew angrier. every morning when she got home from a fight at 5 am and had to slather drugstore concealer all over her face to help get the kids up for school and out the door, she hated that -- once a genius with potential -- she let herself become a criminal. 

when dexter left the family, she grew hard; it’s hard to learn that you can’t even trust your family, but she learned that. she started working double-time, with half the time to sleep, waitressing and pickpocketing, fighting in safe rings on the weekends didn’t cut it anymore, so she started to go to rings where she would be pit against grown men; it was riskier, but the pot was much larger. 

eventually, one of the various dads of her siblings came back into their lives and tried to push in as “father,” and her mother, a wreck, let him. he told dahlia he wanted her to work on moving out because she was a bad influence on his kids, and dahlia was furious -- who was this man? a stranger who had left her family in the first place?  she refused, obviously. 

as time went on, the man became more and more aggressive with her, leading to an actual physical fight. she hurt him, and he kicked her out of the house she’d been raising her siblings in basically since she was a first grader.

she had literally no one -- so she took what money she had from the last few weeks, and put it together on a debit card. her plan was stupid and half-baked, but she decided that she would track down her wayward twin and force him to return with her so that she could get back the only purpose she had anymore -- her family.

dahlia’s not a nice girl. she doesn’t pretend to be. she’ll be perfectly cordial and nice, but if you pull a tone with her she’ll go 0 to bitch in ten seconds lmao. 

she’s not afraid of very much at all, and she has literally like four switchblades on her at any given moment, even though she’s definitely dressed like some mannequin at forever 21 lmao

she always has a lighter or a box of matches on her, and when she gets restless or agitated, she starts striking the matches, shaking them out, and throwing them on the ground, or flicking her lighter open and lighting it over and over again

she’s v unimpressed w the male population. thank dexter and her dad for that lmao 99% sure her favorite water bottle dead ass says “male tears” on it

honestly dee is so ?? edgy n mean n tough ?? but she dead ass dresses like any other lil preppy thing w her shorts n skirts n her sheer ass shirt and heeled boots, she loves the hot weather in marbella so far so she’s just like yes please i love shorts and i hate jackets

she had never actually seen the ocean before bc berkley isn’t in beach county, so when she got to marbella and saw the ocean in person the first time she finally found the one thing that scares her and takes her breath away lol

so sometimes she just sits in the sand looking at it bc she hasn’t plucked up the courage to go and play in it yet shes honestly so intimidated by the ocean . she’ll never admit it bc she is the Man Of The House but still 

it took her a while to hunt down her brother, she started in france and ended up here via hitch hiking and sneaking into trains, she has no fear its insane , so she’s probs only been in town like 2 weeks. 

she’s currently staying at a lil youth hostel so she only really has a nice army backpack full of three or four mismatched outfits and a toothbrush and a phone + charger that only works w wifi. she’s stealing toiletries from tourists and makes a living pickpocketing atm 

she’s probably going 2 be too easy to convince to kick back bc she hasnt had a goddamn day off in 4 years

when shes mad move anything breakable out of the way and do not stand close to a bar because she will throw a beer bottle at your head and she will destroy everything you own

the only ppl in the world who see any gentility to her are her baby siblings and they’re not here are they ????? 

if she Adopts u she will show u how soft and sweet and lowkey maternal she can be, but otherwise nah

i genuinely am so brain dead now i cannot think of many plots but i have 3 i really want below so pls:

someone who she can stay with in the longterm -- just because she’s gonna be here for a while and there’s only so long she can pay the fees to stay at a youth hostel and live out of a bag honestly she’s gonna want to buy a bra and wash it regularly; i’d love if these two actually get along well whatever that means. like she’s not a horrible roommate bc shes spent her whole life cleaning up after other ppl but she’ll probs steal ur clothes bc shes not gonna buy her own lol

someone who can help her just fucking unwind for two seconds like girl needs to chill i swear ?? like get her drunk. get her to actually stand in the ocean. let her listen to music and eat good food. she’s never got to be a teenager, she needs that

a person who lowkey caught her with their wallet in her hand and was like dude wyd?? and instead of throwing a punch or calling The Law Enforcement Officers they actually stopped for a sec n now the two are unlikely bffs and they are her Emotional Support even tho shes mean and bitchy and likely is gonna be like “sad??? sad?????? i do not feel that emotion. nut the fuck up.  ‘sad.’ what a pussy”

[vmsilla]

2017 was a great ass year. I’ve learned so much about myself and I’ve grown more than ever. I made so many memories and experienced new things just by getting out of my comfort zone more. I’ve learned to overcome problems and to just keep moving forward from all the L’s I’ve taken. I’ve learned that sometimes taking L’s is good because it forced me try harder, eventually leading me with new options and opportunities I didn’t think I had. I kept a lot of good relationships, and even made new ones. I tried so much harder in school this year and I got good grades for both semesters and I’m honestly just really proud of myself.

I’m really thankful for all the things that has happened to me in 2017.

I went to so many concerts, from EDM concerts (Jauz, Louis the child, Snakehips, etc.) to R&B concerts (Goldlink & Kehlani, Khalid!!), and I finally experienced going to raves. I spontaneously went to Countdown this year with Tim and my VSA family and it was one of the best spontaneous decisions ever. I turned 21 this year and it’s been the greatest thing being free to finally do all these things like going out with friends to bars and clubs & buying alcohol, things I wasn’t able to before.

I was struggling with finding work for a while, I had a job at my bookstore beginning of the year, but that didn’t last so long. I started working for postmates over the summer but it wasn’t bad because i made pretty good money along with working with my sister (lolol) I got a paid internship for my fall semester and I’m still so thankful for it because I never thought I would ever get a paid internship. All of these opportunities taught me the value of hard work, & having my own money and spending it on myself just felt really great tbh.

Im still together with Tim and I love him more than ever. We overcame obstacles over the year (like him going to fire academy in San Diego for the entire summer) and it has just taught me a lot of things about myself and him. I’m really glad to have him in my life. Im so glad that we got to experience all these memories, mostly because we’re so down for each other. He’s one of the reasons why my year felt so great. I’ve also seen him grow so much personally and I’m really proud of him.

I’m still close to a lot of people that I’ve been close with for a while. Martin is still one of my best friends. We’ve had problems over years but we’re always there for each other through thick and thin. I made a lot of memories with my VSA family throughout the year & we even have new additions in our family, new people who which I love. I got closer to my siblings, we all just get along and we’re always there for each other. My sister moved out to pomona to dorm, and my brother just recently got an apartment, but that’s okay bc life moves on & we need to do things for ourselves. I got closer to the other interns at my work; Gina and Leslie, and I’m glad I spent months working with them because they made work more bearable and I’m happy I had them to relate with. I got to know more people in my major, and still kept in touch with friends like irene and Nancy. I didn’t hangout with my high school family as much, but that’s ok because were all doing our own things and they’re always going to be family. For the entire summer, I went to the gym with richa. I would even hangout with sandy at events and concerts. We would randomly have boba runs, see each other at kickbacks and I’m happy I finally went to DTF. This year, I realized that my neighbor is someone from my elementary and we actually started hanging out. Never thought I’d ever get the chance to know him, and I’m kinda glad that we’re coincidentally neighbors! Lol. A lot of my friends are low maintenance, and that’s ok because I know we’re growing on our own and figuring out things in our life. I’m overall happy with the relationships I have.

For my whole fall semester, I’ve learned how to work hard and play hard. I honestly LOVED this semester and it’s hands down my favorite. I tried to be as productive as I can while still making plans to have fun on the weekend. I had an 8 am then I go straight to internship tues/Thursday, then classes on Monday/Wednesday. Sometimes I didn’t get enough sleep but I honestly didn’t even mind bc it was so worth it!! I even got a 4.0 gpa and I'm honestly just so proud of myself.

My New Years resolution is to

1. Go to the gym more and be consistent.

2. Find an internship for spring semester and a job once I graduate

3. Be productive as I can

4. Stop beating myself over things and to be persistent (I’m definitely gonna need this)

5. Keep my relationships and make new ones

6. To remain positive

7. Go to more raves!

8. Save money

9. Read more books

[jazzinuptheworld]

First Abroad Update (first email)

Hello Friends and Family,

My first month in Madrid has come and gone in the blink of an eye! And I can't believe it! I'm writing to let you know what I'm up to, how I've been, and what it's been like here in Madrid.

My Host Family

My host family is absolutely wonderful! My hosts parents are Pilar and Jesus, and I have two host sisters Maria and Andrea who are both in their twenties. They are all so kind and welcoming, and it's been an absolute blessing receiving them as my host family. I have my own little room that's painted a very happy orange, with a bed, a desk, drawers, and a closet. My room is so cozy and nice, it's a great place to come back to at the end of the day. I have two housemates from SLU that share the other room, they're both nice, but I don't see them much outside of dinner time. My host parents make the best dinners! There hasn't been any dinner that I haven't liked (knock on wood, we still have 3 months to go), but they are very considerate of our likes and dislikes and try to only make things that they know we'll enjoy. I have heard horror stories from friends about the dinners they are served, so I'm glad I haven't had to experience that (yet?). The only downside of Spanish dinners is that they're at 10PM!!! Being that I'm American (or from the US @Facundo), I eat my dinners around 5/6 or 7 at the latest, so 10 o'clock dinners have been quite the struggle! Although I've found ways to last until that time, like grabbing tapas or bocadillos at my favorite place: Cien Montaditos.

Learning the Language

Although I have dipped my toe in the Spanish language at home or at Mexican restaurants in LA, I have a very limited ability to speak the language. As many of you know, I'm able to understand a lot of what is spoken to me, so it's been easy getting around and understanding some things here and there, but the real struggle is actually saying something. I am usually able to string along some words and people will understand me, but I still have a lot of learning to do. Not to mention that Castilian Spanish is different than the Spanish I'm used to!! You know how people say as long as you know how to say "Where's the bathroom" you should be fine?? Well SURPRISE the one word I thought I knew for sure was "baño" but they don't use "baño" here they say "aseos" !!! Did anyone else know that?? Bc I didn't. AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE THEY USE HERE.... VOSOTROS! Which every Spanish teacher ever told me not to worry about because we'll never have to use it (insert upside down smiley face emoji). And the cherry on top, is the lisp they have that makes it the slightest bit more difficult to understand what they're saying. (Rant over). The point is, I've been on the struggle bus, but not to worry I try to practice with my host family because they only speak Spanish, and my friend and I try to practice our Spanish with each other which helps. Also, what I'm trying to say is... don't expect me to come back to the states knowing how to speak Spanish (although hopefully I'll be much better).

The "Study" in "Study Abroad"

Oh yeah, I almost forgot that I'm here to go to school! What a concept. Long story short, it took about two weeks here to get a final schedule of classes. During my first two weeks here, I was switching in and out of classes, getting on and off waitlists, collecting syllabi and trying to construct a schedule that won't make me want to pull my hair out while abroad. At the start of my third week, I finally got my schedule figured out. Most of my classes are pretty lame tbh, but you gotta do what you gotta do. They seem pretty manageable which is good, but it is only just the beginning. My Spanish class is probably the hardest, and the one that pushes me outside of my comfort zone the most. It's an intermediate Spanish class, which I thought would be fine, until I realized I don't actually know Spanish. The other classes I'm taking are things I'm used to like two theology classes, a philosophy class, and a Language and Linguistics class. I had to pack my schedule this semester to ensure that I would graduate on time in the Spring, otherwise I would gladly be taking an beginner's art class or a flamenco class. Hopefully I just pass the classes that I'm in, and I should be fine (C's get degrees, rightt???).

Outside of the Classroom

Madrid is such a beautiful city! And the streets are always buzzing with people! There's so much to see and explore, and I've tried my best to experience all Madrid has to offer, whether that's going to the museums, the Royal Palace, the beautiful parks, or grabbing tapas after class with friends. (Although sometimes, I choose siestas rather than walking all throughout the city). Other than exploring the city, I've also found other ways to spend my time. Being that church is my hobby, my friend introduced me to some other girls that were all interested in creating a Bible Study group, so we picked a meeting time and thus a beautiful thing has begun. We've had two meetings so far, and they have been wonderful, it's just been a space to reflect, pray and share about our lives. They're all such kind, genuine people and I look forward to building better relationships with each of them. The Sunday after our first meeting, we all went to church together and it was so much fun! Some girls in our group have a host mom that knows a priest at the parish we went to, so she made a cake for him and gave it to the girls to deliver. So, after mass, we went back into the sacristy, and met him and then he took us to the top of the church which had a beautiful view of the Royal Palace! He talked to us about his trip to the Holy Land, which he had just returned from! Then, he showed us the residence and other chapels within the church. Finally, as we said goodbye, he blessed us with Myrrh that he brought back with him from the Holy Land and said the Irish Blessing over us (which is significant to me because it is a tradition at LMU to say the Irish Blessing at Welcome Mass as a freshman and then at Graduation), then he sent us away with gifts! So basically, it was a wonderful day. Besides church related things, I have signed up to teach an Advanced ESL (English as a Second Language) class! I have only had one class, and it was a bit stressful, but hopefully it will get better!

My First Trip

We took our first trip out of Madrid to London and it was.... memorable. lol. Long story short, the housing situation was kind of crazy, and I feel like I didn't get to see a lot of London, and everything was really expensive. But on the bright side, I got to see my friend Kateri (who has been my friend since kinder, and also goes to LMU), and I got to go to the Warner Bro's studio and see sets from Harry Potter which was pretty awesome. I think the best part of going to London was missing Madrid. (Whhaaattt?? What do you mean by that Jazmin??). Well, after arriving in London, and spending the weekend there, I realized I really missed Madrid! Which was awesome, because it made Madrid feel like home. Being away from Madrid made me appreciate it even more, and I was so happy to go back!

If you want more details on London, feel free to contact me lol

Valencia

Valencia was AMAZING! 10 out of 10 would recommend to a friend. The whole city just felt so relaxed and chill, and it was a nice contrast from the ever buzzing Madrid. My friend Cristina, has a friend in Valencia and he showed us around the entire city, telling us fun facts, and history! He was so fun and nice, it was great to have a local show us around! On the second day, we spent the entire day at the beach which was incredible! I was really starting to miss the beach, so it was nice to spend the day there. I was just floating and swimming in the Mediterranean Sea and it was FANTASTIC, the water wasn't too cold, and the waves were calm, and the water was clear, and I was so at peace. Then we ate some bomb paella, and then went back into the city and had some BOMB gelato. It was truly a wonderful day and trip.

Missing home?

As much as I try to be present here, I've had one foot at LMU, for reasons mostly out of my control. Since I'm trying to graduate in the Spring, I've had to be in contact with LMU for various reasons. For one, graduation pictures are happening, and I'm obviously not there, so I was contacting the photographer and the yearbook editor to see if I would be able to take pictures when I go back in the Spring. It's not a huge deal if I'm not in the yearbook, but it would be nice, so I've been trying to figure all of that out. Additionally, I was in constant contact with my advisor to make sure I was picking the right classes, how many units I would need to finish, which cores counted and which didn't, sending transcripts and constantly checking my CAPP report (which probably doesn't mean anything to you unless you're from LMU). I'm also attempting to try and finish my Catholic Studies minor, so I've had to be in contact with Fr. Marc, sending syllabi and course descriptions. And in addition to that, I've been thinking about doing another Spring Break trip, so I applied to both IC and AB trips, and have already had one skype interview and I have another one to come (tomorrow!!) And looking towards the future, I've been looking into some post grad service options. I've been researching, and reaching out to people, and keeping in contact with TK. So it's been crazy! As if that isn't enough to think about, soon registration will come around, and I'll have to reach out to my advisor again and then apply for my degree (but we're not there yet, so we'll cross that bridge when we get there). Besides that, I really have been missing home! Both homes: Santa Maria (shocking I know) and LMU, I miss familiarity and comfort, but I know I have so much to gain from being outside of my comfort zone here in Madrid.

If you made it this far, thanks for bearing with me! I know that was an absurdly long update. But that's what happens when you leave a month's worth of content in one email, and there's been so much left unsaid!

Anyway, I love you all so much and I miss you!

-Jaz