#Based off of those two girls in Pokemon Gen 5

[rainbowangel110]

25 for Stacy =]

My favorite thing about her is that she's basically the trope of "Tiny girl, big hammer"

OC ask game

[pkmn-fangamer]

Pokémon Solar Light & Lunar Dark Review

Intro:

The game starts in Soltree Town in the players room. The player is sitting in front of his/her TV and is watching a battle between two Pokémon trainers. Your mother comes in and tells you that your best friend, Rodney, is waiting for you downstairs to get your first Pokemon from Prof. Pinewood. You walk to the lab with Rodney and the Professor lets you choose one of three Pokemon. After choosing your starter, Rodney runs out of the lab. The Professor tells you about a young girl named Keira, who is getting the last Pokémon, but it seems that she has forgotten it. After finding Keira in Mossy Town her mother tells you to go back to your house, because your mother has a gift for you. Back in Soltree Town you receive the PokéCom and the Running Shoes from your parents.

From then on, the player will set off on adventures through the Rikoto region. Along the way, the player, Rodney, and Keira will battle eight Gym Leaders, while trying to complete the Pokédex. After managing to obtain all eight Badges, the player will head to the Pokémon League to battle the Elite Four and the Champion.

How to Play:

Download and extract this file to the folder of your choice. If you don’t have a program to unzip files, I recommend Peazip, which is safe and works well. Once extracted, double “Game.exe” to play.

Story:

The story progresses like a main series game’s plot. It’s notably most similar to RSE/ORAS, because there are two evil teams present: Team Solar and Team Lunar. They’re racing to find specific stones to revive and control their respective legendary of interest. Unfortunately, the climax of their role in the story is pretty disappointing to me, but I won’t say any further so not to spoil you. Aside from the villains, you have your usual tree-based professor, a few rivals, and your eight gym leaders. There’s also a mega evolution specialist, who battles in her castle, and is portrayed as unofficial gym leader. I especially liked this detail.

The characters are just okay, and dialogue can be a little jumbled at time. I like that you have three rivals rather than one, but they’re not very well fleshed out. Each has a gimmick, but not much personality past that. The gym leaders were also okay, but not overly memorable. The only honorable mention is Jax of the Elite Four, who I believe should have been the champion of the game.

There are some adult themes present in the story, but I don’t mean this in an explicit sort of way. Rather, the game addresses adult issues you’d find in the real world. For example, to use the taxi service in Rustbolt City, you need to battle their boss to convince him to pay his workers more, as they’re on strike at the time. You are also asked to steal for a robber at one point during a quest, which is pretty neat.

Overall, the plot and characters weren’t too impressive, but they weren’t terrible, either. There was a good foundation for both that was lost along the way, it seems. However, the story and characters are still serviceable and fulfill their overarching role.

Score: 7/10

Pokemon:

In this game, there are Fakemon instead of Pokemon, and this can be seen as either good or a bad. While the sprite work for the Fakemon grew on me, some are heavily based on already existing Pokemon. Also, some Pokemon don’t have the highest design quality. Lastly, many of the better Fakemon don’t evolve until they’re pretty high leveled, anywhere from the high 30s to the low 50s, kind of like in Gen 5. This can be seen either as a good or a bad thing, I suppose.

Luckily, there’s a lot of good things about the Fakemon too. First is the sheer amount of them: there are 358 Fakemon to choose from, which is more original Pokemon than have ever been put into a new game at once. This gives you a huge selection to choose from, so no two people will ever have the same team. The downside of this is it’s hard to keep track of them all. However, there are some great ones to choose from, whose movepools and abilities have been handpicked with care.

The original moves made for this game are also a nice touch. One that stood out to me is Thunder Strike, which is a nice middling electric move that’s more powerful than Thunder Shock, but less powerful than Thunderbolt.

I also absolutely love that your first party Pokemon walks with you. This is a feature that really should be brought back in main series games, and the fact that they took the time to draw all 358 original Fakemon (and each shiny form!) as walking companions is very impressive.

Score: 8/10

Gameplay:

In terms of difficulty, this game is very middling. It’s not too easy or hard. If you battle all the trainers and a good portion of wild Pokemon during your journey, gym leaders won’t be overly difficult. However, grinding in this game can be difficult without the presence of the speed button, so keep this in mind when you use a repel or skipping trainer battles.

One of my favorite attributes in a fan game is a lack of HMs, and I was pleasantly surprised that this game replaced HMs with key items. This opens up a fifth slot in your party; no HM slaves needed!

The gameplay in SLLD (Solar Light & Lunar Dark) is brought to life through its attention to detail in many areas. I’d say you can spend up to two hours in almost every town and its surrounding area, just doing quests, finding hidden items, and talking to NPCs without getting bored. There are so many places to explore, each with a completely different set of Pokemon.

My biggest grip in this area is the length of space between towns. The worst example of this is the journey between Waytide City and Coralite Town. In the space between them, there is Route 9, then Goopool Swamp, then Route 10A, then Rainbow Reef, then Route 10B, then finally Coralite Town. There is one single player to heal your Pokemon in this entire stretch, and if you don’t bring a ton of healing items and repels, there’s no way you’ll make it the whole way continuously. There’s also a ton of trainers on every route, too many in my opinion, and if you don’t battle them all, you’re destined to be underleveled for gym battles.

Score: 8.5/10

Art/Music:

The overworld art is well done, mostly in Gen 5 style. I haven’t seen art like this in another fan game yet, so props for that.

Original music can be found in about 80% of the game, and is generally well-composed. I rarely found myself listening to other music while playing the game. It’s very electronic, and comparable to Gen 5, but I actually like this soundtrack better than the Unova one. This brought me to wonder: why is such a common track, the wild battle music, from Sinnoh when almost all other music is original? This also goes for the Pokemon Center and a few other themes. My best guess is that composing those tracks would have taken a lot of time.

In terms of character art, most of it is solid. However, the female player character is obviously heavily inspired by Lyra from HGSS. The sprite isn’t bad per say, but it is very obvious. On the other hand, the male player character looks very original.

There are a few visual/sound errors that I would fix. First, the selection highlight isn’t apparent enough. This may seem minor, but this can be the difference between winning a battle or losing if you accidentally switch in the wrong Pokemon. Additionally, both the sound for stat rising and falling is the same- it always sounds like your stat is going up. There are also a couple of Pokemon missing their cries when sent into battle.

Score: 8.5/10

Misc:

The fan content for this game is pretty great. There’s a very active discord channel, and a pretty up-to-date, accurate wiki.

Overall:

One stand-out quality of this game is the sheer amount of content it contains. Before I mentioned the amount of Pokemon created, and this goes for the size of the map as well. There are more towns and areas of interest in this game than any individual region, and as a result you can get in a huge amount of playtime. I ended my run-through with almost 30 hours. However, the downside to inserting a massive amount of content into anything can make the issue of quality control. While the quality of most things in this game is above average, some things did suffer a bit. For example, there are so many routes and areas, it probably was impossible to compose music for all of them. As a result, the Surf and Bike theme are both the cheesy Pokemon Essentials themes.

On the topic of glitches: unfortunately, there are a handful of them. Most aren’t game breaking, but the one that stood out to me is the fishing contest one. When you are warped to the fishing contest, you’re trapped inside the building’s roof instead of in front of the building. As a result, you have to open your menu and quit the contest, automatically putting you in last place. Another is in the Subhail Icecaps towards the end of the game. The game can barely handle surfing in this area, and constantly stalls, almost crashing whenever you surf.

Overall, I would recommend this game to almost any Pokemon lover. I’d especially recommend this one for Unova lovers, as this game is a fresh new adventure quite reminiscent of that region. If you’re looking for a traditional Pokemon game with Fakemon in it, this game should be a winner for you.

Final Score: 8.5/10

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon SoulSilver Randomized Nuzlocke [Part 1]

Since I haven’t fully learned from my mistakes, hey! It’s time for another Nuzlocke. With extra Randomizer action for reasons that are going to be very apparent as I go through this set’s rules.

I’m going to try what this person on the internet calls a Chainlocke, though with slight alterations for the sake of sanity; basic idea is that my catch Types have to be linked. If I catch a Grass/Poison pokemon, my next option has to have one of those in common.

That gets thorny really fast, which I guess is the point, but I’m more about wacky fun than serious challenges. So to make things more entertaining, I will be randomizing every pokemon in the wild, as well as NPC gifts and trades. All the other Trainers keep their original stuff. I get to be special.

So. Rules:

Only the first viable pokemon of each route may be caught.

Gift pokemon are cool to use.

In-game trades are also cool.

‘Viable’ in this case means that they must have a Type in common with the most recent caught pokemon.

The starter will be starting that chain despite not technically being caught by me. Because I feel like it.

Each pokemon must receive a nickname.

If a pokemon faints, it is considered dead. It will go in an appropriately named box in the PC.

In the event of a team wipe, the run will continue with whatever’s left (alive) in the PC.

And that’s about it. Let’s kick it.

No.

I can’t remember if this version does the all-caps for names or not. In any case, this protagonist avatar will take on the name Sunny. Because I am in a warm and welcoming mood, ready to make all the new creatures I encounter my friends.

I love how they have Lyra use the mail system.

Someone has to.

It certainly won’t be anyone playing these games.

Okay, based on how Lyra’s Marill is discussed, human names don’t get the all-caps treatment, but pokemon do. What does this mean for my nicknaming schemes? No idea. The hour is late and I don’t care enough.

-rubs hands together-

Hmmmm.

...

Dude.

Get out.

Hmmmm.

I can’t pick Cyndaquil, because what even is the point if I do that. Sableye I’ve never been so interested in as a true companion. Dewgong is fully evolved, and I hate starting out with that.

However.

I never get to use Dewgong.

Seel is never anywhere convenient.

DEWGONG WELCOME TO THE TEAM!

Shaped like a friend.

I haven’t worked out any particular theme for this run. I can name her whatever I want. I think I shall call her Chance.

Look at how cute she is. She is adorable. Sassy and highly persistent. I declare her perfect. She also knows Headbutt! That matters beyond being a cool move in this version! Much squeeing! She also knows Growl, Signal Beam, and Icy Wind.

My next pokemon will have to be Water or Ice. It will probably be Water, thanks to Water being absurdly common. That’s cool. I like Water pokemon.

And so, without yet being able to catch anything, I head out into the world. Running my obligatory fetch quest for Professor Elm.

Huh, a Smoochum says hello. That’s a good thing to know for later. But what’s in the Headbutt tree?

...A Hoothoot. Sigh. Well, one less thing to worry about when finding pokemon.

Weedle also lurks in the grass.

Yay. Gotta go fast.

Can I buy poke balls yet?

No. Sad face.

The next route has Kricketot. Did I check the similar strength button by accident?

Then suddenly, Grumpig! Okay, sweet. Just a few Buggy coincidences. Gligar is also here.

Literally have never heard of you. You have a boring name. No one should ever copy it ceaselessly for a gag that no one sees any value in.

Hello, a wild challenger approaches! With his super duper Totodile! Headbutt it, Chance. Headbutt it into submission. Good girl.

Uh. There’s not enough room for it.

Perfect.

I love how Silver’s most defining feature is his red hair.

After a short visit home to tell our mom we are far too irresponsible to be trusted with all of the money we’re going to earn from mugging other children, plus a short tutorial on catching things, we can finally get started!

Smoochum is the only thing available in the routes we’ve visited so far, but I haven’t checked out the northern one right outside the starting town yet.

But the walking takes the decision out of my hands! We encounter a level 4 Smoochum, and as per the rules, that is what I have to go for. Lest I kill the route.

...

I killed the Smoochum.

I guess that answers my question about its Typing. Ruh roh. Signal Beam was a mistake. For multiple reasons, now that I’m taking a second to think about it. Whoops. Any game that requires me to think is screwed from the start, honestly.

So now we search for something else to catch.

Route 46? Be nice?

Carvanha! That’s a Water! Can catch!

In theory. It’s broken out of two pokeballs. It’s also level 2, so I don’t think I can risk attacking it.

.I’m going to run out of balls, aren’t I?

I think I have to risk an Icy Wind. I’m on my last poke ball. I don’t really want to leave it purely up to the mood of the RNG.

Chance apparently doesn’t want friends.

She got a critical hit.

Two dead routes! Okay!

Still needing a Water or Ice Type!

Also more Poke Balls!

One of those problems I can fix. As for the other, inb4 the Mystery Egg and whatever I get from Bill are the only other teammates Chance ever has.

We march through the trainers between us and the next town. Certain of nothing but Chance’s ability to murder them all.

Route 31 has an Elekid as the first thing I see and the rules say I can’t catch it. What horrible person came up with this. Seviper and Lopunny are also here. Those I care less about.

Dark Cave? Help? Mayhaps?

A Golbat appears.

Okay.

Before we think too hard on that, I’ve gotta say that I do love how gen 4 does the caves. They are very gorgeously cavernous, and the few times I bother to think about the background art, I enjoy walking through them.

But yeah, is there anything in this cave that is not a Golbat?

Route 31 has a Butterfree.

These are things that do not help me.

The person who usually gives you an Onix for a Bellsprout in whatever this city is (Violet) offers a Corphish for a Kecleon. Things to keep in mind if I ever find a Kecleon. That I can catch.

In no version of this game have I ever done this egg thing. I was unaware there even was an egg thing, since anything that requires me to pick the right word out of the hat of words bores me to tears. Then I started watching too many people play Pokemon games on the internet.

-Googles how to get egg-

So normally, you can get a Mareep, Wooper, or Slugma. In the spirit of the Chainlocke, even though I said gifts were cool, we’ll take the Wooper egg. Vote now on whether or not it’ll actually be a Wooper. I don’t know how to use the Randomizer.

Hm. Iiiiiiinteresting.

Chance, Headbutt some trees on the off chance that a Water pokemon falls out, please.

It’s a Hoothoot.

I get the feeling that the Randomizer settings didn’t care about the pokemon found through Headbutting.

Route 32. Help.

Gligar. That is not help.

Rhydon is not help either. Likewise Torchic.

SQUIRTLE. THAT IS HELP.

...

...

...

Chance.

Why are you getting so many critical hits against your friends. Do you not want friends. Have I raised you to be so antisocial.

-sigh- Route 32 declared dead.

Ruins of Alph? Maybe you have someone Chance likes?

...

Why is Gligar everywhere.

I guess. I will go to the tower. With Chance. Just the two of us.

Plus the Gloom egg, which is looking like a very likely candidate for the only friend Chance will ever have. Besides the Mystery Egg we don’t have yet.

(Also Rock Smash HM get. Yaaaaay.)

Local level 11 Dewgong beats up 3 year-olds.

So many dead Bellsprout.

I haven’t run into any wild pokemon here, yet. Sadness. We will never know which new friend Chance was going to kill next.

SURPRISE!

It’s Medicham.

Chance kills it.

Partially because I can’t catch it anyway, partially because that is just what Chance does. Her sassiness belies her murderous intent.

Flash obtained with little fuss, and time to move on to Falkner. He of the coolest name. Yet another Gym Leader I wanted to be as a child. Even if he uses nothing but birds. Falkner is just the coolest name.

Oh, and it looks like there’s also Roselia in this tower.

I can’t do anything about it, but that’s nice.

I love how each generation of pokemon decides the Gyms need to be more extra.

They’re right and they should say it.

-five seconds later- Well that went by quickly. Good girl, Chance. Your murder spree continues. And our prize? Picking up the Mystery Egg! Which gets to be a genuine mystery for now! Chance! You might have a friend! In pure spite of your best efforts!

Time to spend an hour doing nothing but walking. I normally wouldn’t be so interested in hatching the eggs, but. I would kind of like to have a promise of Chance not being completely alone this entire game.

One down! His name is Cloud! He is... also Sassy (Chance, is this why you let him stay), level 1, and alert to sounds!

!

whatisitwhatisitwhatisitwhatisit

...Wow. Something I actually could have gotten legitimately in this Chainlocke. In theory. In a world where Chance is of slightly different temperament.

Her name shall be Sleet. She is Quiet and likes to run.

Hm.

I remain unsure if I’m going to actually use either of these new friends. The spirit of what I’m going for with this doesn’t really work with me just being handed two random Official Teammates. I might change my mind after a few more routes of things not going well for me, but for now, I think I’ll mostly stick to me and Chance.

..Though before I do..

They’re both level 1. I can be nice and not set them up for death. They can make it to level 5 before we say a cordial farewell. I can grind in this game. I can be nice.

-ten minutes later-

-tfw Ivysaur also lives on Route 32 because Route 32 is starter central-

Niceness done, let’s get on the road.

The road takes us, and our level 17 Dewgong, to Union Cave.

If you squint, this looks like fanart of a sleeping Sandslash.

Will we find the Water or Ice pokemon our team longs for here????

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Uh.

Let me look up the rules for evolving Feebas in this gen. Because Feebas is pure Water. If I can’t evolve it, I’m better off killing it so I have more options available with what I can catch.

...

The internet says I need eight massages from Daisy (Blue’s sister. in Pallet Town.) to max its Beauty so it can evolve.

Chance. just. just do the thing. we all know how this ends.

So dies Union Cave.

Awww, how cute. A Shaymin. Now just one of the many corpses littered at Sunny’s feet. Hariyama is also here. A floor below, it’s the return of Grumpig. Plus Yanmega for the first time. Girafarig.

-SIGH-

Route 33. Do you want to save us?

Weezing.

WHISCASH. GIMME. CHANCE, SWAP OUT AND LET CLOUD HELP.

AT LONG LAST.

WE HAVE.

THE CHAINLOCKE’S FIRST CATCH.

FLUDD, WELCOME TO THE TEAM!

NEXT CATCH?

WATER OR GROUND!

LET’S END IT THERE WHILE THINGS ARE STILL GOOD.

[groundramon]

i just watched detective pikachu too what are your thots on it!

I enjoyed it actually!!  More than I thought I would.  I’ll give my slightly more spoiler-ish review under the cut:

I’m not a big fan of adult humor shoved into movies just for the heck of it but I felt like the adult jokes in the movie were actually written with intention and care rather than “oh shit our script is bad…we need to make the adults laugh, let’s make a cocaine joke!”  Maybe part of it is that that’s exactly where my brain went too with that shit and it was humor based on important plot points, and the dialogue didnt feel awkward (well it did but it was supposed to because tim was in a tizzy).  Another part of it might be ryan renold’s just natural inclination towards those kinds of witty roles but tim’s actor (IDK HIS NAME SORRY) played off the same energy and made them flow okay too.  All in all, I can completely agree with the statement that Detective Pikachu is what hollywood video game-to-movie adaptations should be.  It feels very hollywood while also not being an insult to the Pokemon franchise, which is a very delicate balance although in retrospect it’s not that hard bc pokemon and hollywood both just want to make money.  I just have low expectations.

Seeing Braviary made me rlly rlly happy!! he looked so good!! I saw rufflet in the trailer ofc but I never saw Braviary and he looks super cool!  I really loved the treecko on the window at the apartment building as well.  The torterra were another cool surprise.  I can agree that most Pokemon in the movie are in at least one of the trailers in some form tho.  But seeing their full performance in the movie is much more fun imo!  Overall the CGI was really great, there was like…one scene or two scenes where I noticed slight awkwardness between Tim/Pikachu when they were interacting physically, but it was pretty minor (like when Pikachu was unconscious, Tim wasn’t cradling him as baby-like as I would, he seemed more tense and less careful than I’d expect).

The bulbasaurs made me cry and my mom liked the mr mime scene.  I saw that one post a lot and still didn’t believe it until I saw it.  He’s fucking dead now I guess.  ALSO I FEEL SO BAD FOR MEWTWO just let him be free and happy!!! he just wants to chill with the bulbasaur and the morelull!! goddamn!!! I wanna do that too, just fuck off to the woods and hang with some bulbasaur and morelull, tbh

Plot-wise I think the villain was the most relatable villain in the entire Pokemon franchise because I, too, would do anything to become a Pokemon.  Idk why he thought it was necessary to do that to other people tho.  Like he could just charge money to do that to people?  And he’d get paid AND not get arrested?  People would pay to do that.  I would pay to do that.  Is it ethical?  No.  I just thought his motivation for that part was kinda weak.  Typical weak hollywood twist villain tbh.  But god his actions were great, i wish I could copy paste his goal onto an actually good character.

Girl character is girl and romance is cliche.  Would’ve been more fun if she stayed a psyduck and Tim had an ethical dilemma as to whether or not it’s okay to fuck a psyduck with a human-level consciousness (a pussyduck, if you will).  And I hate it when fictional scenes make me think of the ethical-ness of inter-species breeding so that’s saying a lot.

The story’s main pull was the relationship between Tim, his father, and Pikachu, and the mystery they had to solve, and while the plot is kind of rough, the emotion behind it makes it all worth it imo.  It’s a typical hollywood film, I’m only 18 and barely watch any movies but I’ve literally seen this story done before.  But to do it with Pokemon, and to do it with actors who really seem to care…that’s what made it worth it.  You’ve seen the story before, but it’s still a cute film.  It’s not bad or obnoxious even though the story is pretty rough.  It can still make you emotional even though it’s kinda cliche.  It’s just…fun.  Turn off your brain because it’s Pokemon and Pokemon never has a good story, and you’ll just have a lot of fun.

I wish I was in rhyme city when that all happened so that I could ask mewtwo to keep me a pokemon

Oh I was also surprised by the amount of gen 5 Pokemon, although I was in the trailers too.  I’m gonna count up all the Pokemon I remember seeing now - I’ll probably forget a few gen 1 pokemon since it’s definitely gen 1 heavy and I was mostly looking for non-gen 1 pokemon, but hopefully I still got them all.

Gen 1: Bulbasaur, Charmander, Charizard, Squirtle, Blastoise, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Growlithe, Arcanine, Machamp, Polywhirl/wrath…? (I think but I dont remember aaa), Gengar, Snorlax, Magikarp, Gyrados, Eevee, Flareon, Pidgeotto, Pidgeot, I think there were Pidgeys but I couldn’t really tell…, Mew (picture only), Mewtwo, Ditto, Psyduck (…duh), um…I think that’s it?TOTAL COUNT: 24+ (again I might’ve missed some)

Gen 2: Noctowl, Aipom, Snubbull, SneaselTOTAL COUNT: 4

Gen 3: Treecko, Ludicolo…I think that’s it…TOTAL COUNT: 2

Gen 4: Torterra, um…..?? seriously wait, is torterra the only one? I gotta google this hold on-

…i forgot lickitung, cubone, doduo, dodrio, and rattata in gen 1. and primeape. i also forgot togepi and actually a fuck ton more. i remember all of those tho not some of the other ones. f. i dont remember primeape tho and also i mostly remember doduo and dodrio from the trailer oops

I FORGOT MOTHER FUCKING MR MIME

this post is cancelled but looking on bulbapedia tells me that the totals for each gen pokemon (species, not how many appear) are:

Gen 1: 32

Gen 2: 7, but bulbapedia says 6, i saw several noctowl towards the beginning of the film tho and bulbapedia doesnt have noctowl listed

Gen 3: 4

Gen 4: 3 (lmao)

Gen 5: 8

Gen 6: 4

Gen 7: 2

Overall a kind of weird distribution imo.  I realize the first chapter of Detective Pikachu (the game) came out before gen 7, but still, it’s kinda weird to me personally.  Gen 5 only has a major lead compared to every gen except for gen 2 and gen 1, but still.  The fact that it’s the second most represented gen (more than gen 2, even!) is interesting to me.  Maybe cuz the film was made in the US? so Unova? //shrug emoji//

But anyways yeah, i thought it was good!

[jinjojess]

Oh, All-knowing Jess, hear my call and drive away my doubts: how was received in Japan the datamining of the beta of Pokémon Gold? What do you think about it? Are some Pokémon you like or want in actual games? (Personally, my favourite is that creepy Pinsir, for some reasons it reminds me of the Kaonashi from Spirited Away!)

You know, that’s a good question. I’ve seen some fanart and reactions on Twitter, but I didn’t really follow it much, sorry!

To make it up to you, I will now review all of the betas:

Chikorita! 

Yay! I think I’ve made it very clear that I am a big fan of this little plant nugget, so I don’t have much to add really.

10/10

AAAGGGGHHH?! 

What the fuck is this thing? How does this relate to Chikorita or Meganium, who are both largely unchanged from their beta designs? Where are the eyes? Like I’m diggin’ the tiny smug face-looking thing at the top of the bulb, but what’s the deal with the huge single eye down below? Where did the legs go? Why does the body shape change so drastically in the in-between stage when both the first and third stages are quadrupeds?!

0/10 would not trade Bayleef for it

Meganium

Whew, okay. Back on familiar ground here. Meganium is likely my least favorite of the Johto starters’ final forms, but I still like my big, dumb boy.

8/10

Tepkon 

Awww~!

So unpopular opinion, but for a long time I really disliked cyndaquil’s design. I’ve come around to it these days, but back when GS came out, it really put me off. This thing is absolutely adorable, and though the design isn’t super inspired, I still fucking love it.

7/10 wouldn’t trade cyndaquil for it, but would love to see the design reworked for future games

Chubby quilava

This is like quilava’s cousin who grows up to discover that he’s actually more of a bear than a twink. Really like it–seems very cuddly.

7/10 like quilava better but I support this thicc boi

Kirara

Seriously, this is basically just Kirara from Inuyasha. Not as crazy about this design as its pre-evos, especially since it seems like it’s trying to edge in on arcanine’s floof territory. An okay pokemon, but not a fave.

6/10 would not trade typhlosion for it

Baby Nessie

Totodile was one of those pokemon that I had been low-key hoping for, but I gotta admit that this is one adorable little fucker. Look at its stubby limbs! Its cute snoot! Its pudgy tail!

6/10 would not trade totodile but would love to see in another game

Let me clear my thoat (I hope ya don’t mind)

I am…less enthused about the middle evo. The eyes are cute and the little shy smile is to die for, but the…ballast? on its throat kind of looks like a giant boil and I’m not really here for that.

4/10 no thanks I’ll keep croconaw

Dragonair but with legs

The final evo I like a bit more–it looks like a dragonair that struck up a deal with Ursula the sea witch so that it could pursue its land-dwelling love. Now that the gem isn’t jammed right up under the chin it’s less off-putting, and the kind of fang-looking necklace is a Good Look.

6/10 still prefer feraligatr but GameFreak please dust off this design

Hoot-Hoot’s just really into henna right now

I’ve never been a huge fan of hoot-hoot, and I kind of like the extra markings. I assume they were taken off to make the design less busy as well as giving it a fanned tail, but I think I’d actually prefer this one.

5/10 would replace regular hoot-hoot with this one

It is the night

Okay, here we go! Now this is a cool-looking pokemon that would make training up a damn hoot-hoot worth it. Noctowl is a decent pokemon in the game since it means you get access to psychic moves early in the game, but I’ve always thought the design looked too goofy. I like irl owls a lot and this design really speaks to me.

8/10 go back in time and give teenage me this bird instead

Mareep

There’s not a ton to say here other than they lightened up mareep’s fleshy bits in the final release, and I like mareep quite a bit so there we go. Instead, I want to draw attention to this disaster of a backsprite. What am I even looking at? A giant ball of cotton candy that rolled through a bunch of broken candy canes?

9/10 I mean I like mareep, but I gotta take off a point for that awful backsprite

Flaaffy

Flaaffs seems largely unchanged. I’m pretty partial to this boi as well, especially since I had one following me for a bit in my Japanese Soul Silver game.

8/10 I like flaaffy, but fuck that name spelling

Ampharos

One of my fave Gen 2 pokemon! Doesn’t seem to have much different about it, though I did always question where the delightful floof went. I mean we get it back in the mega evolution but still. What was that about, GameFreak?

9/10 docked a point for lack of floof

Mikon

So this is clearly a pre-evo idea for vulpix, and it’s pretty damn cute. I love that with the addition of this member to the family, it’s confirmed that the line increases its number of tails by 3 every time it evolves. I like this, but I’m not entirely sold on it. The face lacks some detail and I feel like the design isn’t different enough from vulpix to really feel necessary.

7/10 it’s cute but I don’t think vulpix needs a pre-evo

Mahou Shoujo Green

This tangela pre-evo is pretty cute, though the body underneath kind of reminds me a bit too much of oddish. I mean maybe it’d be cool to look at the oddish line and the tangela line and see how two related species had off-shoots, but I am not really the biggest fan of baby pokemon as an institution so these will all be a hard sell for me, sorry.

6/10 again, cute but unecessary

Tangrowth as imagined by CalArts

I loved tangela a lot back in the day, and tangrowth is a really interesting pokemon as well…however this one has a little bow and ringlet hair so like, no contest, really.

9/10 this should be an alternate evo option for tangela (perhaps for females?)

i could be your angle or yuor devil

So this one is kinda cool in concept. It’s clearly drawing influence from Japanese kites, and the scary face might be an evolutionary feature designed to scare off predators…that or it’s a flying/ghost or flying/dark type and the angel imagery is the ruse. Either way I fucking love this thing.

10/10 I want this concept revisited

Qwilfish

I like qwilfish a lot! It’s got cool typing, it can perform decently on a rain team, and it’s based on a pufferfish. It’s definitely an underdog in the wider world, but not in my heart.

10/10

The Fish Who Lived

I have…reservations about this evolution though. As cool as it would be to have a qwilfish evolution, this just isn’t doing it for me. It’s kinda cool that it’s shaped like a naval mine, and the Harry Potter scar is pretty cute, but I can get over the dead-eyed stare.

4/10 yeah no I think I’m happy to wait for better evo ideas to come along

Pichu

Pichu’s cute enough I guess but I’ve never liked it as much as pikachu and sure as hell not as much as my boy raichu. However if the baby version was this roly poly cutie, I think I’d be more into it. This style of pre-evo harkens back to the good ol’ days of fat pikachu, and therefore I must doff my cap to it.

8/10 with a bit of polishing I would take this over pichu for sure

Cleffa

Okay, so of the baby pokemon, of which I am generally not fond, cleffa is by far my favorite because of how cute it is. This is also extremely cute. I like picturing the trainer being able to just grab the thing by the little knob on its head if it’s heading toward danger. Plus that tail nub is so cute! I don’t know that I could choose between this version and the actual cleffa.

9/10 would be a 10 but Nate once said “what if cleffa’s hands were its nipples?” and now I can’t unsee it

Igglybuff

Iggly has always reminded me of the Powerpuff Girls, but this beta version is so…delightfully round. God, it’s like hypnotizing how round it is. You wouldn’t have to show this from above to trick someone in a silhouette quiz. The tiny, wide-set eyes are also both piercing and kind of unassuming, which I can’t decide is cute or terrifying.

8/10 think I’d swap this guy in for the existing igglybuff

Quagsire!

I freaking LOVE quagsire. It’s so derpy, I love water/ground types, and just everything about it is cute and makes me want to hug it. The only problem with it in this beta is that there’s no wooper.

10/10 bring wooper with you bro

Natu

I’ve always thought natu was cute and really neat in concept, but I’ve never actually sat down and trained one. This sprite isn’t too different from its final one, but it is missing the color scheme, which is one of the reasons I like it.

6/10 stop being so washed out!

Xatu

Also largely unchanged from its final design, though I do prefer the Silver sprite where its wings are spread. (And I’m sorry about this, but some of the pictures will have bits of other sprites in them, since it was hard cutting these all down in Paint with a trackpad.)

7/10 very unique

Prince(ss) of the sea

Is this a pre-evo of goldeen and seaking, and I can see why it was cut. Who thought either of those would be popular enough to warrant a baby form?

2/10 fuck yeah was a meme guys, it wasn’t sincere

Marill

Marill’s okay. I think it’s fairly cute, and the design they went with using smaller ears and non-clown feet is better imo. Plus this is really minor but it’s bothering me that despite the codename “pikablu” this sprite is pink.

6/10 solid cute pokemon, but the final design is better

Finding Flounder

So I’m a big fan of lanturn because of its digimon-esque eyes and its cool typing. Chinchou I’m…eh on. This cutie though, I could get used to this.

8/10 cute eyes are better than terrifying cross eyes I’m sorry

Clanker’s Cavern

As I just said, I like lanturn a lot. However, this is a shark with an anchor attached. That’s like if you left dhelmise and sharpedo at the day care on the same day an enemy team spilled plutonium all over the yard. It’s so stupid! I love this thing so damn much.

8/10 it’s way too similar to other existing pokemon, but I still kind of want it anyway

Homsar

This thing kind of scares me. The gaping mouth, the wide eyes, and the fact that it clearly would inhabit deep parts of the ocean all make me want to nope out. That said though, I respect it.

6/10 glad they came back to this idea with elektross

Crobat

If you’ve ever battled me in one of our local or online tournaments, you will know that I have a soft spot for crobat. I think golbat’s design is kind of terrible, zubat is simplistic yet kinda cute, and crobat gets to be both cute/cool and also not suck completely in battle (see what I did there?). This design seems mostly unchanged.

8/10 a very good bro

Most likely to drive an airbrushed van

This paras pre-evo looks like it’s inspired by a lovely whimsical creature from Wonderland or Fantasia. I kind of like having a pre-evo to show that at the start the sinister mushrooms allow the baby para to call the shots, biding its time until takes over the entire nervous system as a parasect. Really not feeling the face, though.

5/10 cute, interesting idea, but I don’t know if I want to add more baby pokemon to the mix

Spinarak

I have some mild arachnophobia, but I actually rather like spinarak since it’s so adorable. This version is a little more true to life and not as adorable. Also wtf GameFreak stop giving your arachnids six legs!

5/10 very much prefer the final design but kinda reminds me of the little jumpy bois I catch and release from inside my apartment sometimes

Ariados

Again with the six legs thing. Ugh. Anyway, this beta version of ariados is actually much cuter than the one we ended up getting in the final game. I’m pretty lukewarm on ariados in general (my spider boi of choice is the far superior galvantula), but look at this thing’s face! Look at the face on its body! It’s cute even when it’s trying to be scary!

6/10 why did we not get this adorable boi?!

Skarmory

It’s skarmory. That’s it. A pokemon that I like in theory but have never been super into his design.

5/10 respectably cool but not my cup of tea

Alphonse Elric’s head in chibi form, screaming as his body melts

Here it is. My favorite of all of the beta sprites. This thing is so fucking wonderful in part because I have literally no idea what the hell it’s supposed to be. What is this?! What type is it supposed to be? What is it based on? Is it a pre-evo of an existing mon? Why is its mouth parted in an eternal screech? These questions do not necessarily have answers, and I am a sucker for mystery.

10/10 GameFreak please bring this idea to life just so that I can get closure

Mine! Mine!

So I see what they were going for. It’s a baby form of doduo, with three baby bird heads and a big puff of feathers to make it look like a brood peeking out of a nest. I respect the idea, I do. Too bad it also conjures up images in my head of rat kings and other fused abominations. 

5/10 a good idea that didn’t pan out so well

[Obligatory Undertale Reference]

Sunflora would actually probably be more intimidating if it had an evolution rather than a pre-evo, though. I’m no big fan of sunflora, but I gotta say that this sprite is way better than the one we ended up getting.

6/10 replace existing sunflora with this bullet seed-spewing former skiddo

The Littlest Babaar

I’ve never really been into elephants as a species. Like they’re cool, but they’re pretty middle of the pack for me in terms of my animal preferences. As a result, I always found donphan kind of disappointing. However, I do like phanpy quite a bit, if only for the fact that it’s goddamn adorable. This sprite is a bit plain, but does bring the cuteness.

6/10 prefer the final design but this one ain’t bad at all

Donphan

The Don hasn’t changed much at all as far as I can tell. I’ve never trained one in Gen 2, so is its backsprite really just its trunk? If so, hilarious.

5/10 congrats! you exist!

That’s the statement of the grave mint, Doublemint

I can’t decide if this was intended to be a pre-evo for ghastly or if it’s supposed to be a new ghost type (perhaps later replaced by misdreavus?). Either way it’s an interesting concept, and I can imagine the pokedex entry now: “Born from the souls of fetuses who were eaten in-utero by their siblings. Since they feel they were destined to be twins, they find each other shortly after death and fuse together so that they’ll never be alone again.”

7/10 not the most original design but damn we had a shortage of ghost types back in the day

Girafarig

Girafarig is one of those pokemon that I always wanted to be more competitively viable because I think it has a unique design and could fill a cool niche. I like that the final design has the tail as an evolutionary measure and that there’s a smaller brain in it, just like some real life creatures. That said, we really missed out on getting a face full of evil uniraffe in the backsprite. Man, this is a real tough choice.

7/10 let’s keep girafarig as is and try out this concept on a different mon

Smeargle

This version of him seems a bit more…simian than his final, kinda canine design. Not sure if I dig it. Also, have you noticed that Gen 2 felt obligated to have a ditto/mew type mon that could mimic all the other mons? I feel like this concept gets revisited every so often and GameFreak thinks we’re none the wiser.

5/10 flesh beret just isn’t okay

Coin Kitty

So I know I said I’m against baby pokemon on principle, but the fact that this thing never saw the light of day upsets me so much. It’s so. fucking. CUTE.

10/10 go back in time and replace skitty with this

Betty Boop’s best friend

I get the feeling that this dark type cat got recycled into the purrloin line, but this one is way cooler imo. It references the old adage of “belling the cat” and I think that this pokemon line could have had some really cool sound-based signature moves (sorta similar to the whismur or jangmo-o lines).

9/10 not feeling the bipedal thing, but still a really neat concept I’d like to see

Luna

Again, I love the idea of a pokemon based on a fable. I can see why this particular design didn’t get used, given how simple it is and how closely it resembles umbreon if you just glance at it, but I’d love to see this revisited.

7/10 spruce up the design a bit and get back to me

Politoed’s wild ride

So when I first met politoed I felt he was a bit too…cutesy? Like the rosy cheeks were a bit much. This guy feels a bit more like he belongs in the poliwag line, though he doesn’t look like he’d be as bouncy.

6/10 might replace existing politoed design, might not

Slowking

Though I prefer slowbro as my yadon evo of choice, slowking is pretty awesome in his own right. Not a big fan of the clown ruffle, but honestly it’s kind of a minor setback all things considered. 

7/10 remember how he could randomly talk in the 2nd pokemon movie? That was fucked up.

Unknown

All of these cool, unsued beta designs, and this one gets to stay in?

1/10 don’t talk to me right now, GameFreak

Ledyba

It’s ledyba. One of the bug types I’m actually not really all that into. Pretty sure this is the sprite actually used in Gold.

4/10 fine just not for me

I see you

Ledian’s deal as a superhero is kinda cool, even if I don’t particularly care for the actual design. And I gotta say, it’s preferable to the ever-watching eyes of this thing. Those stars aren’t natural; they’re tattoos for each trainer its killed.

3/10 I feel like I need to go lie down

My Little Shetland Pony

Clearly this is intended to be a ponyta baby form, and while I commend the idea of a foal version (or maybe a Shetland or something?), you may notice that there is very, very little to set this pre-evo apart from ponyta. Like it and and rapidash aren’t exactly the most daring design-wise, so stripping it to the essentials doesn’t really work.

5/10 this is cute as all hell but it has no reason to exist

Espeon

Though I get shit all the time for liking espeon the least out of all the eeveelutions, I do still think the design is neat, and the fact that it draws from the nekomata myth is fascinating. Backsprite is a bit janky in the hips department–yet another unrealistic beauty standard, amirite ladies?

7/10 I personally don’t think there are any bad eeveelutions

Umbreon!

My absolute favorite Gen 2 pokemon! Not many changes between this and the final design, though I will say that this one looks a lot more terrifying–the hole eyes are worse than the red ones somehow. Still, love.

10/10 listen this is my personal rating

Alolan Shellder

This one is so fascinating to me. It’s obviously the chompy boi from slowbro and slowking, which in the pokedex is referred to as a shellder, but perhaps this is a unique evolution that only happens when it disconnects from the slowpoke? I am really upset this wasn’t actually used in the game, because getting to have this thing on the same team as slowpoke, slowbro, and slowking would have been like when Banjo-Tooie introduced the mechanic that let Banjo and Kazooie split up.

10/10 give me, dammit!

Garbage Pail Kid

Again with the baby form for a line that already is known for extremely simple designs. Grimer and muk are literally just piles of slime of differing sizes. (Shut up, Alolan forms weren’t a thing til later.) So basically this baby form is fucking adorable, and I’m loving the thing that could be a nose but I’m choosing to interpret as a mouth with a single tooth. It’s just that…who needs this?

7/10 cute, but not necessary by any stretch of imagination

Are ya feelin’ lucky, punk?

Okay, so this beta is a) way cooler than remoraid ended up being, and b) makes the evolution line make SO MUCH more sense. I can definitely see why it was changed, especially since censor-happy America was a legit market by that point. And I guess the revolver barrel part of the design still persisted in Gen 2, but still.

5/10 booo censorship!

TANK!

Octillary’s name also makes way more sense with the original tank design. I mean I can kinda see why this changed, but like…Digimon was over there with a creature in the anime just literally called Tankmon who shoots shells at elementary schoolers so I don’t fucking know. 

7/10 I like octillary as is, but this is a much more interesting design

WWE fan

Okay so real talk, I am not the biggest fan of tyrogue’s design, but what was even going on here? What’s with the frog hat? Is it a safety helmet? The general hitmonlee body shape combined with the baby boxing gloves for hitmonchan was pretty cool, but this is not something I’d look at and think “Yes, this will grow up to be a humonoid fighting type.”

5/10 it’s…cute? I guess I just don’t see what’s going on here really

shaga;lsdkfhahdgajspd[f

NO. JUST NO. THERE ARE TOO MANY THINGS HAPPENING HERE, TOO MANY LIMBS, TOO MANY EYES, JUST NO. HITMONTOP ENDED UP BEING SILLY BUT AT LEAST IT WASN’T THIS MANGLED BODY HORROR NONSENSE.

0/10 for reminding me of claydol and my own mortality

Pupper

This is going to come as a surprise, but I’m glad they didn’t introduce a baby form of growlithe. The growlithe and arcanine line includes 2 of my top 3 pokemon ever and as cute as this is I don’t think it would fit aesthetically. It looks like a spaniel that doesn’t match the shisa vibe of the growlithe line. That said, I would love to see it as a first form for a different line of perhaps…ground type doggos?

9/10 please give us some floppy ear dog designs, GameFreak! new doggos!

Like, nya

I do think the hoppip line (except for the last evo) is pretty cute, and this one reminds me a bit of an in-training digimon so I’m liking it. That said, I think the designs we got were better.

6/10 cute but like existing hoppip

Gardnyar

Again, prefer Skiploom.

5/10 not a fan of the flower for some reason

Nyancat theme plays in the distance

So I like this better than jumpluff personally, even if the other is probably a more unique design.

5/10 jumpluff’s limbs bother me, but lbr I was never going to train one anyway

New this Easter

Mr. Mime, I think we can all agree, is an unsettling design. That’s its whole appeal, really. Mime Jr. is cute enough I guess, but this is a tiny clown egg that looks like it’s learning to ice skate for the first time!

6/10 get your derpy clown nose out of here, Mime Jr.

Agatha’s apprentice

Smoochum is…well, she is. She’s kinda cute, and I think I prefer the finished design to this one since it looks way too similar to grown up jynx. Plus it raises some uncomfortable questions about it being born with ganguro make-up and hair (in a style that looks like E4 Agatha’s for some reason). This smoochum looks like it’d be taken out to sit alone at the bar in the club while wearing booty shorts that read “Mama’s Lil’ Bitch” across the back.

4/10 this makes me uncomfortable, and the hair is too close to Agatha’s

Which way to the Chao Garden?

Elekid is one of few baby pokemon I like, but hot damn this thing is adorable. It looks like a tiny, wingless bee with a halo.

7/10 can this be recycled as something else?

Bart Simpson

Really what keeps me from fully embracing the magmar line is largely the fact that they all have butts on their heads. These spikes are way more appealing to me, and so I would have loved having this one in the game.

8/10 is it still too late to redesign magby?

Bellossom

Not too many changes from the beta. I am digging the shoujo sparkles going on around her, haha.

6/10 not a big bellossom fan but a well-design pokemon nonetheless

Audrey III

Nope, I don’t like this, no sir. Where would this even go in the evo line? Is it supposed to be an alternative to victreebel? Cause this isn’t much better, guys.

1/10 I will give it one point since it looks like it could cut a rug on the dance floor

Miltank

A good, solid pokemon I’m pretty fond of (once I got over my salt from the Whitney battle). I like her as a female counterpart to tauros. Nothing too astounding but still fun and cute.

8/10 

Fire Seal

I feel like there’s folklore here, but my tired brain isn’t coming up with anything at the moment, sadly. Not a really detailed design but those tend to be more my favorites anyway. Trying to figure out what this was replaced by in the final game but I’m having a tough time figuring it out.

7/10 we have a lot of seals, but this is the only FIRE seal

Delibird

I see we chose the path with more subtlety in the end.

4/10 not really a big fan of delibird

Hanshin Hopeful

Okay, I know I said earlier that the screaming pile of goo was my favorite, but this line is also my favorite out of these beta designs. This one upsets me because this would have been such a great cultural addition! Osaka (represented by Goldinrod City in the games) has a baseball team called the Hanshin Tigers, which everyone in the area is a fervent fan of. Not only is this unbearably cute, it could have been hanging out in like a little baseball stadium area or something in or around Goldinrod. 

10/10 how could you leave this out?!

Nandeyanen!!

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Why did I not get this?! The Akihabara of Osaka is even called “DenDen Town” (Electric Town)!

10/10 we’ve missed our chance and now amends cannot be made

Talk to the wing

Is this supposed to be a farfetch’d evolution?! It doesn’t make a ton of sense aside from the waterfowl connection, but like…how pissed would you be if you were farfetch’d? This is kinda cool. I’m not super into swans or anything, but the masquerade/crime fighter mask is a neat detail.

5/10 I could see this being used interestingly, even if I’d probably not use it

Hitori Kakurenbou

I love this concept. Look at this! I know it was basically recycled for shuppet’s line, but this is so much more hardcore. Now this is a pokemon that can use curse appropriately.

10/10 personally like this one better than shuppet, if I’m being honest

Hsien-ko

This is the most Chinese pokemon since arcanine, oh my god. It’s a panda jiangshi. A panda jiangshi! Imagine it hopping after you adorably, ready to leech life you to death.

9/10 it’s not as cute as the pre-evolution, but still–panda jiangshi!!!

Murkrow

Not a lot of changes going on here either, aside from the more obvious witch’s hat design. Unsure if I like this one better or regular murkrow.

7/10 good flappy friend

*uncomfortable cough*

Blissey’s design is a bit too busy and frilly for my tastes, but it’s certainly a lot more acceptable than this. I get what they were going for: a heart on top of its head to represent healing and whatnot, but it just came out so…so yonic in nature that I have to wonder about the person responsible for this design.

1/10 not entirely awful but good lord

Scisor

Here’s the boi, only this time with eyes on his little crab claws! It’s cute but later got used for hydregion instead, and I dunno, I kind of prefer scisor as is. Still think scyther looks cooler, but a good strudy boi.

6/10 for the puppet shows it could give to entertain all the baby forms on this sprite sheet

Pinsir Noh Pinching

Here’s your fave, anon! You’re right that it seems to have a blank Noh-like mask on its face, as if a huge pinching bug wasn’t terrifying enough for you. That said, I kind of like the really creepy vibe, and poor pinsir got left in the dirt by his rival scyther once Gen 2 hit and gave scyther an evolution but nothing for his clampy comrade.

6/10 we could still get a pinsir evolution, guys

Houndour!

As you might expect of me, the houndour line is a close second to umbreon for Jess’s Favorite Gen 2 Pokemon. It combines two types I love, fire and dark, into this edgy but adorable package–what could I not love about it? This design is actually even better than the final one, because look at that sick-ass spine highlighting the ribs that got left in!

10/10 you cannot half ass edge; that misses the point

Houndoom!

Houndoom, meanwhile, looks pretty much as I remember him in Gold. And there’s nothing wrong with that–his design is fucking amazing. Man, kids, back in the metagame in Gen 2, houndoom was firmly in the top tier. Ah, I remember those days…

10/10 like a shark, houndoom has passed through decades without major tinkering to its evolutionary design

Baby yeti

Long before froslass burst onto the scene, this little bundle of deceptively charming horror could have been the first ice/ghost type. Yes, yes, it’s very adorable upon initial inspection, but once you look a bit deeper, you notice that the pokemon itself is actually black as night, with two piercing Jawa eyes, and the happy fur coat is another creature that’s been skinned and put on like a hoodie. Amazing.

10/10 I’ll take four

Wampa

I started on Star Wars references in the last entry and I gotta keep it going. Anyway, the evolution of tiny, arctic Buffalo Bill up there is even more fearsome, with claws and pupils! It’s even somehow found a way to make its fur covering evolve with it, having it sprout huge fangs (yeah I know, adults probably hunt larger creatures for clothing, but let me have this).

10/10 this so should have been a thing

Pon de Lion

I wonder if perhaps this design was meant to be an alternate form or evolution of porygon, or if this was an entirely different species based on toys (presumably to pad out the number of steel types). It’s an interesting idea, certainly, but I 100% get why this design got scrapped–it was a lawsuit from Mr. Donut waiting to happen.

Ugh

Did you know that horses produce 10 gallons of saliva a day? I now do thanks to Nate quizzing us over vacation last weekend to see if we could tell the difference between real animals and pokemon based on factoids. Now, lickilicky was not a new evolution I embraced with open arms, but man, it could have been so much worse.

2/10 I can’t say there’s no appeal (that mustache is great) but it just looks slimy and no thanks

Steelix

It’s steelix, unchanged from this beta to the final game.

7/10 I just think it’s neat

Sunken Master

I would like kingdra so, so much more if this is what it looked like.

9/10 this is goddamn cool and no one can convince me otherwise

Shadow the Edgedog

I’m not gonna lie, I fucking love this stupid design. It’s an electric dog with super sayain hair. 

10/10 fuck you, I do what I want

Oscar Myer

Do I find this design cute? Yes. Do I personally like it more than entei’s? Yes. Do I think it’s a better design than entei? No. It’s a bit too plain to really give off that legendary feel, but for me? I’d totally take this in a game. Also at least the last two have actually looked like dogs. The Legendary “Dogs” we got were a tiger, a lion/bear hybrid, and whatever the hell suicune is supposed to be.

8/10 I am a simple woman with simple needs

Jen Kira

I see people likening this design to Nina Tucker, but I actually don’t see that. It looks more to me like a special edition My Little Pony toy from the 80s released to promote The Dark Crystal. I dig it, even if it’s my least favorite of the three OG doggos.

8/10 if only some of the pizzazz of this design was afforded to fiery boi up there and we’d be onto something

Rook

This weasel/otter type thing is really cute, and perhaps was a concept idea for what later became sentret? I’d say I would want to see it again, but I kind of get the feeling we already did get the concept revived in the mienfoo line.

6/10 glad we got to see this one again

Ho-oh

Doesn’t seem too different from the sprite in the final game, and still a good design. That said though, I’m noticing that there’s no lugia in these beta sprites. What the fuck is that?!

7/10 got bros over this ho(-oh)

Togepi

This little bugger was introduced so early in the anime that I’m not surprised that its design was firmed up by the time the demo came out. Togepi’s okay I guess, but again I don’t really tend to like baby pokemon and I got kind of over-exposed to it in the anime.

6/10 cute but not a fave

Snubble

SNUB PARTY!! Snubs has the dubious honor of being the only dog pokemon I actively dislike. I like granbull so I can put up with it temporarily to get it to evolve, but this does a lot of things on my Dislike Checklist: aggressively pink, check; clown ruffle, check; appears to be wearing a dress, check.

4/10 not a fan

Boscoe

This early version of aipom looks like Marsupilami if it had been created by the Fleischer brothers. Something about this design just isn’t Right, but I can’t put my finger on it. I think it’s the 1930s American animation style face combined with walking on all fours? Either way it creeps me out.

3/10 though aipom is a very middle-of-the-road pokemon for me, it’s a helluva lot better than this abomination

Leafeon Prime

If you had asked us kid pokemon fans back in the days of Gen I what pokemon we’d most like to see in the future, I imagine “grass type eeveelution” was near the top for many of them. It just made sense–you had the leaf stone just sitting around, not reacting to your eevee, and it was so blatantly conspicuous. I had my own grass type eeveelution design I’d made called “Thorneon”, the design of which I might share at some point, and I was far from the only one.

So yeah, I’d have appreciated this a LOT in Gen 2. I was disappointed it wasn’t introduced in Gen 2. However, promises of a grass type eeveelution in Gen 4 got me to finally pull the trigger on getting a DS to play Diamond and Pearl, and that turned out to be an execellent decision. So maybe it was better that they kept this idea incubating for a bit longer.

10/10 I like leafeon and I also like this design–particularly like the vine bits that look like scars

And so there you have it! All 100 beta sprites reveiwed by yours truly. 

Hope it was worth the wait, anon!

[eggoreviews]

Most Likely Smash Bros. Ultimate Characters

Considering that last time, I basically just listed impossible characters, I thought I’d step out of my massive hype shoes and look at what’s genuinely a bit  more realistic. We already know from Sakurai that there won’t be many more characters, if any, but a leak from a fairly reliable source has said that we may get around a half a dozen more newcomers before release. So this is my listed final prediction of most likely base and DLC characters and echo fighters, with some background info and hopefully less bias. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: This list is wrong. It’s wrong in advance. But you never know, might be right.

BASE GAME:

1. Simon Belmont (Castlevania)

Admittedly, I’m jumping on the Vergeben train for this one, but he’s been right about everything before, right?

For those who don’t know, this Vergeben dude predicted that the Ice Climbers and Snake would be returning, as well as the whole of the SSB4 roster. He also said that Ridley from Metroid and Simon Belmont would be joining the roster as newcomers. So far, he has predicted everything correctly, except Belmont, who assumedly hasn’t been announced yet (okay, he also mentioned something about Minecraft, but we’ll ignore that for now). There’s also the fact that Konami and Nintendo must be pretty friendly right now, considering Snake’s return. Castlevania, while a little outdated now, is still a relatively well-known title and could act as this Smash game’s retro newcomer.

So yeah, could be totally wrong on this, but honestly we’ve got no fuckin idea what Sakurai will do, so speculation is all we’ve got.

2. Rayman

I’m probably showcasing a little bit of that bias that I said wouldn’t be in this list, but surprise, breaking my own rules again. Ignoring the fact that he was my number 1 pick for my most wanted newcomers, but I’ve got a genuine bit of evidence for this pick. First off, Rayman, along with side characters from the series Globox and Barbara, all had a trophy presence in SSB4 for Wii U, despite the fact that there’s been no other Rayman content in the series to date. This suggests to me that Rayman has at least been considered in the past and, considering the nature of his games, he basically has a premade moveset. Just add a final smash and some specials and this character almost makes itself. However, a lot of people have been citing Mario x Rabbids as a reason that one of the Rabbids will be put in instead of Rayman. But I think that, considering the roster for this game was apparently finalised in late 2016 according to a recent interview with Sakurai, back when Mario x Rabbids was only rumoured, it seems likely that a Ubisoft rep is most likely to be Rayman, especially with the characters long history and popularity. Not saying the Rabbids are impossible, but at most, I reckon they’ll be an assist trophy. Also, Rayman got remastered for Switch. So I guess that’s another thing.

3. King K. Rool (Donkey Kong series)

Honestly, I reckon this is the most likely on this list. Donkey Kong is one of the most iconic franchises in Smash Bros, but to date it only has two reps, the second being added in Brawl. The fact that it’s been a while since a new rep, there aren’t many reps at all and that this character is very, very heavily requested all screams to be that King K. Rool is an almost certain pick for a new character. This would also tick the ‘villain’ and ‘heavyweight’ boxes that Smash seems to have less of at the minute, as well as giving one of Smash’s biggest first party franchises another big rep. There are other characters from DK that could’ve been here, but we’ll get there later.

4. Dark Samus (Samus echo fighter, Metroid series)

Under usual circumstances, I’d say it’s fairly unlikely for a franchise to get two reps in one new game, but there’s a fair amount of evidence to suggest that Dark Samus is going to become her own echo fighter this time around. As a general thing, I think that considering the fact that echo fighters are a brand new feature for this game, it seems unlikely that we’ll literally only get the three we’ve been shown. So cue Dark Samus, with her iconic costume shown as removed from Samus’ selection screen as well as a currently missing assist trophy, the way seems to have been cleared for Dark Samus to be announced. It’s kind of funny to me that if this happens, we will have four Metroid reps and three of them will be Samus.

5. Shadow (Sonic echo fighter, Sonic series)

Okay, so my reasoning for this pick is pretty much the same as the last; Shadow’s assist trophy was also missing from the E3 reveal and gameplay and seems to have been replaced with Knuckles. Seems a little odd to do this, as it’s not as if Knuckles was a highly requested assist really, so that suggests to me they’ve got plans for Shadow as his own character. There have been arguments that Shadow could be his own character with his own moveset potential, which I guess is true, but then again he’s a hedgehog who goes fast like Sonic does. Plus, it makes sense for them to advertise and use the new echo feature as much as possible to hype up the game. So here’s Shadow. Ta dah.

6. Geno (Super Mario RPG)

Here’s my sixth and final pick for base game additions. If I’m fully honest, I know fuckin nothing about the Mario RPG series because I never played it. All I know is that literally everyone is requesting this wooden boi. What makes this more likely for me as a base addition is also the fact that we know Sakurai has wanted him in the past so now seems like a pretty apt time for that to happen. Also, you know, he had a Mii Gunner costume in SSB4 so that’s a thing. Not gonna pretend I know anything about Geno, but at this point he’s among the most likely.

DLC:

1. Crash Bandicoot

Right here is probably one of the most requested Smash characters of all time, but I’m gonna put it out there and call it that we probably, definitely won’t see Crash appear in the base game. Reason being that, as I said, the roster was finalised back in 2016 and back then, as far as I’m aware, Activision and Nintendo didn’t quite have the same close(ish) relationship they have now. The Crash N Sane Trilogy wasn’t confirmed for Switch or any other platform than the PS4 until earlier this year, so if we’re seeing this guy, he’ll be DLC. And somehow I think we will.

2. Spring Man (ARMS)

ARMS is a pretty popular first party game that came to the switch last year. Spring Man and his massive arms would be very easy to translate to a Smash game. Plus, using arms as weapons would make for a pretty unique character. I reckon that the only reason Spring Man won’t be in the base game is purely because this game didn’t release until 2017, so I’d expect to see this guy or maybe Ribbon Girl pop up as DLC somewhere along the line. Whichever one doesn’t end up playable will likely be an assist trophy or something.

3. Funky Kong & Dixie Kong (Echo fighter double pack, Donkey Kong series)

A lot of people are arguing whether or not one of these characters will appear, but I personally think they both will. I don’t think they’ll be in the base game purely because there’s already a couple of echo fighters, as well as another DK rep in my likely base game list, but it makes a lot of sense to me that they’ll be available to buy together as like a DK bundle, with Funky echoing Donkey Kong and Dixie echoing Diddy Kong. This seems even more likely considering the new Funky Kong mode in the DK country Switch remaster and also that Dixie has been a pretty highly requested character for a while as it is. I get that a lot of people are saying that Dixie should have her own moveset because she has hair or whatever, but I don’t think it matters too much, she basically has the same appearance as Diddy. I guess Cranky Kong is another possibility for a DK rep, but I don’t see it considering the other potential reps. 

4. Banjo & Kazooie

Right now, Banjo Kazooie is under Microsoft, but a recent tweet from the VP of Xbox Phil Spencer saying that he’d love to see Banjo & Kazooie in Smash kind of says to me that this could very well happen. But like, obviously, if the guy has only just said that Banjo & Kazooie would be cool in Smash. So yeah, if anything, DLC.

5. *Gen 8 Pokemon*

Okay, so I know nothing about Pokemon. Like at all. I’ve never even played a game. All I know is that a lot of people talk about Decidueye being included, but that kinda seems unlikely to me because that one is Gen 7 and a lot of the hype is around these new Pokemon games. So it makes a lot of sense to me that they’ll include a brand new starter Pokemon as a later DLC addition, considering that I think Gen 8 is coming in 2019? It’s something like that.

So there you have it. Here’s my wrong ass list. If I get any of these right, I will be very proud of myself. Guess we’ll find out in December.

Go live ur best life.

[crystalelemental]

Gen 7 was unique for me, in that I was actually present and invested in a lot of the early reveals.  The unfortunate situation is that, during reveals, they showed the right things to get me excited, only for a lot of final forms and unknown things to miss their mark.   Alolan variants also wound up being too few and not sufficiently interesting to justify its inclusion, with Z-moves also being introduced but doing nothing to change competitive value of most things and just pushing power creep forward.  The real selling point of this generation was the story of SuMo (which was obliterated by USUM), and the inclusion of Ultra Beasts, the coolest concept the series has ever had.

TOP 15: 15) Comfey - Comfey was a Pokemon I just kinda liked at first.  But with its ability Triage, I attempted to run one in a tournament one time, and my god can this little shit put in work.  Leech Seed + priority Draining Kiss is hysterical, with Calm Mind boosting its damage, and either priority Synthesis or Aromatherapy being great final move support.  Comfey has a lot of sick tricks it can pull, which is great when combined with its cute look and beautiful shiny form.

14) Mareanie - Remember when no one knew what the hell Mareanie was? When it was accidentally revealed on the side of the Pokemon TCG box, and everyone was like "Oh man, what could that be?"  Those were fun times.   Even better was how cute this thing was.  Those times, during the leaks of Gen 7, were excellent, because we had all these cute options that I just knew I needed to get.  Unfortunately, Toxapex loses a lot of cuteness upon evolution, but it could've been a lot worse.  As we'll see soon.

13) Pikipek - Meet the bird that was going to be my favorite in the series. Pikipek was another Pokemon I was sure would make my final team.  I love woodpeckers, and having one in the game was divine.  Giving it Skill Link was even better, and announcing it would know Bullet Seed somehow improved it even more.  It was setting up for something incredible!  Too bad that, like many things this generation, it didn't live up to the potential.

12) Morelull - I adored Morelull.  It's such a cute mushroom creature.   Maybe it's just my bias, but if it was going to evolve, I had expected it to be a mushroom princess-type plant.  Something beautiful and elegant and lovely, befitting the glowing mushroom fairy child.   And...well...needless to say, it was not that.

11) Mimikyu - Does anyone not like Mimikyu?  I'm actually asking, because it seems like this is the fan favorite this gen.  Mimikyu is either precious or terrifying, and both are great.  It's either sad and lonely because it wants people to love it like they love Pikachu (or Raichu, in my case), or it loathes Pikachu with all of its being and wants to destroy it.  Either is fine.  Ghost/Fairy is a great typing, and it has perhaps the most unique ability in the game, operating as a free Substitute that doesn't prevent status.  This allows for some great setup, and allows it to be surprisingly good in competitive play as well. Which...surprised me, for sure.

10) Oricorio-Sensu - Oricorio is a neat Pokemon.  We've had other things in the past do a similar thing, most notably Castform and Rotom, but Oricorio still manages to stand out to me.  Sensu form in particular is my favorite, being a Ghost/Flying type with a really elegant design.   It's a beautiful bird, and a great Pokemon visually, but unfortunately lacks necessary coverage and stats to be competitive.

9) Stakataka - You know what's awesome?  Ultra Beasts.  They are the coolest thing to come out of this series in ages.  Stakataka, as a newer one, is basically just a sentient brick wall, where each brick is an individual life form, all operating together to be bigger than their opponents.  While I am disappointed that there is not a pre-evolution that is a single brick called a Taka, I suppose this is fine.   Rock/Steel is a notoriously terrible typing, but somehow, against all odds, its stats are set just right, and it has access to Trick Room and Gyro Ball, in order to blast through almost anything in the game.  As if that weren't enough, its shiny form is a solid gold brick wall.   Incredible.

8) Ribombee line - Cutiely is another of those defining Pokemon that got me invested.  Thankfully, unlike several others, its evolution was just as adorable. Ribombee is such a precious Pokemon, with its little scarf and pollen gathering nature.  I just adore how cute and wonderful this line is.

7) Tsareena line - Talk about disappointment.  I adore Tsareena.  The whole evolutionary line.  But when it was revealed, and when we got a look at its ability that shuts down priority, I thought we'd finally done it.  This was the moment that Tsareena would save Grass types.   Fast, strong, able to shut down priority, it could be amazing!  And then we see what it does...and its bulky offense. Grass...cannot do bulky offense.  We've tried this.  A lot.  It doesn't work.  Power Whip is too inaccurate while Trop Kick is too weak.  High Jump Kick is damaging, but runs a lot of risks with imperfect accuracy, and is useless in Doubles.  Even Play Rough is inaccurate.  All this, on top of a middling 72 base speed, which is just too fast to even use with Trick Room...and it all becomes a massive disappointment from the competitive side, which is the ONLY reason she doesn't rank higher.  Her design is excellent, the concept of a queen of fruits is interesting, I just really wish they'd let her be a bit more powerful.

6) Tapu Lele - Had you asked in the week before the game came out what my favorite Pokemon was, Tapu Lele would've been the answer without question. It's adorable, Psychic/Fairy typing is great, and the description of it made it sound like it had tremendous healing potential that it shared with others in a fickle manner that could cause excess harm, with its battle role being implied to be a mix of healing and status play.  And then it was revealed what it did.  And it's hyper-offense through and through.  I still love it!  But the concept of a Pokemon that worked through massive healing potential and status play to wear down an opponent would've been a lot more interesting than something whose stats mirror Gardevoir's but a bit higher, but had a god-tier ability.  It's ultimately complicit in Terrain Wars, which is the new Weather Wars from Gen 5, which I don't think many people are happy with, but I still love it just the same, even if its description was an absolute lie.

5) Pheromosa - More UBs!   Pheromosa is a pretty bug creature that will kick the shit out of you.   It's stupid fast, even outpacing Mega Alakazam, and has incredible offensive presence on both sides of the spectrum as well.  It does lack for defense, so priority can be a problem, but that's a small price to pay for having such excellent coverage options and such a great spread of stats.  Plus, again, it's very pretty, and has a nice shiny that even put on pants.

4) Lurantis - Lurantis is one of those Pokemon that I feel sets the entire feeling for a generation.   The instant I saw it, I knew I would train one, no matter what. It's such a beautiful Pokemon, and I love it dearly.  But, again, it kind of defines the competitive focus of this generation as well.  It's slow as hell and bulky offense.  Look, Gen 7, I get it.  More than power creep, speed creep has been running rampant in your game.  Megas across the two sets of games last gen went from base 100 to base 110 because 100 just wasn't cutting it anymore, and new megas needed to be ahead of the curve (even if you fucked over Gardevoir to give Gallade better tools, again making the male version the better one you shits).  But bulky offense is dead.  You killed it yourself.  Damage outputs are too damn high, boosting moves are so extreme that one boost is enough for several Pokemon to just sweep outright, and because of how EVs work you are required to pick a role.  Bulky Offense for something whose best stat value is 105 is terrible, and it's never going to work.  Maybe with Trick Room.  Maybe.  But even then we run into the problem where it's a Grass type, and is therefore awful in competitive by default.  It's a shining example of what needs to be addressed in competitive, because outside of grass being shafted and the stat spread being awful given the state of things, it has incredible tools that should help it to function.

3) Primarina line - What an excellent starter Pokemon.  Popplio can look a little doofy, but it's still cute.  And each evolution only ramps up the beauty.  Brionne is precious, and Primarina is one of the most fabulous Pokemon I've ever seen. Water/Fairy is always an excellent typing, and it's surprisingly straight-forward as a raw special attacker.  It also has an emphasis as a singer, which I always appreciate.  If it weren't for my favoritism for foxes, Primarina would easily be my favorite starter in the series.

2) Celesteela - More UBs!  This time, it's the 30ft rocket child, Celesteela! Celesteela is one that I loved based on design, but wasn't quite as high-ranked initially.  What propelled it upward was battle performance.  It is such a wall, and unlike some UBs, has a moveset that actually feels distinctly alien.  Leech Seed?  Giga Drain and Flamethrower?  On a Steel/Flying type?  It's the weirdest thing, and by extension, the coolest thing.  Celesteela is amazing, and I wish other UBs followed its lead and showed off some bizarre and alien moves.

1) Nihilego - The ultimate being.  Nihilego is, without question, my favorite Pokemon right now.  As an Ultra Beast, it's already doing great on concept alone.  It's an alien jellyfish monster that's parasitic in nature, attaching to other living beings for sustenance, but being toxic to most things to which it attaches. It has no clear-cut consciousness, being more reactive than anything, though apparently acts much like a young girl, for whatever that means.  It's an adorable Pokemon, too, and carries the incredibly unique Rock/Poison typing, technically being the first-ever Poison legend, if you count UBs are legends.  It's an unbelievably cool, creepy, and adorable Pokemon, and I love everything about it. I just wish it had gotten a signature move or something that made it seem more alien.  All its moves are standard, despite it having an atypical typing and bizarre stat spread.  Maybe some day they'll introduce new, unique moves for each UB, but somehow I doubt it.  Pokemon Company is really bad at changing things that need to be changed retroactively.

BOTTOM 10: 10) Incineroar - Starting out, it's the final stage evolution almost no one wanted, Incineroar.  While not inherently bad, and at least avoiding the Fire/Fighting curse, Incineroar's main problem is as a final stage to Litten.  Litten is cute and wonderful.  Litten is also a cat.  A species that, for some reason, is consistently awful in battle in this series.  Incineroar should've been an exception.  Should have.  Instead, it's a wrestler in a cat suit, losing the charm of a cute cat, and somehow is still not all that good competitively.  Intimidate will help it, but it's lacking in the ability to really impress with anything it does.  Combined with the rampant disappointment over a cute starter becoming a weird, tough heel wrestler, I think it definitely earns a spot here.

9) Toucannon - However what's more upsetting to me is what happened to my dear Pikipek!  Toucannon is fine on its own.  You want a toucan?  Great, go for it.  But don't make my precious woodpecker child your angry toucan that's slow as hell and has no benefit from Skill Link.  Pikipek should have been a final form that perfected the Cinccino strategy.  Instead, we get...whatever Toucannon is doing.  It's one of the greatest disappointments of this generation, and considering the complaints I had in the top 15, that's saying a lot.  However, I won't place it any lower, simply because Toucannon, on its own merits, is cool.  I like its signature move, even if it's bad.   The design is perfectly fine.  But it being attached to Pikipek as the final form is devastating, and earns it this spot, in the same way as Incineroar.

8) Togedemaru - My usual complaint about regional rodents.  Togedemaru is more battle-worthy, but that almost frustrates me more because it's just not that interesting.  It's also associated with Sophocles, which means it loses any charm it could've had by being not related to him at all.

7) Crabominable line - My long-standing bias against Fighting types.   Ice/Fighting is a unique typing, but it does little to impress me on this one.  It's slow and lumbering and kind of unimpressive in design.  I guess it's supposed to be like the abominable snowman, but...why is it a crab?  I dunno, I'm probably being petty, but I don't like it.

6) Bruxish - Imagine being a person whose favorite type is Psychic type.   Imagine seeing all these really cute Pokemon being revealed, and building up your team, and just waiting for the Psychic type that will blow your mind.  Now imagine the first psychic type they reveal is Bruxish.  This weirdly colored fish with odd lips and and teeth.  I immediately decided to use the next revealed Psychic if I could, because this wasn't getting on the team.

5) Oranguru - Oops, and here's the next.  It's a monkey!  You love those, right Steve?  Oh wait, I hate them.  Oranguru does nothing for me, but frustrated me more than Bruxish because somehow, after the first Psychic wasn't interesting, the second was somehow worse.  It should not have been like this.

4) Passimian - But what do I dislike more than inelegant Psychic types? Fighting types.  Passimian is a sport-themed monkey that is also a fighting type. Honestly, we should be stunned it's not #1, but if there's anything I dislike more than something completely opposed to what I like, it's something that changes what I enjoy into something I hate.

3) Ultra-Necrozma - In the same way Lando-T counts as its own thing because of differences between forms, Ultra Necrozma counts as its own separate entity that is terrible.  I debated Zeraora, because I already don't like it, but that seemed unfair (and also would not rank this high).  I debated putting this above a few things at least, but I feel like it deserves this spot.  Because it sucks. Psychic/Dragon legend.   You all wanted to complain about Solgaleo/Lunala being Psychic-type, and I agreed because yeah, that is a common legend typing and variety is nice, but how did this thing get away with both Psychic and Dragon but no one else is complaining?  That's literally the two most common legend typings at the same time!  It's because it's Dragon and you all love Dragons, isn't it?  Hypocrites.  The ability is really only good in specific situations, requiring super-effective coverage to truly shine, which means there's probably plenty that can wall it based on coverage gaps or 4 move slot syndrome.  It's also one point of speed away from matching things like Mewtwo, meaning it's going to be easily outpaced by certain threats and annihilated.  Its signature Z-move also does absolutely nothing interesting beyond high damage, reminding us all how worthless that mechanic was in the grand scheme.  Oh but, don't worry, in the game it'll be way higher than your average party level by this point in the game, get +1 to all stats, and have stupid good coverage options that allows it to OHKO everything you have all the time, unless you abuse Rotom Powers, so if you don't like that mechanic, too bad, get used to them, fucker.  And this isn't even truly tearing into the design.  From a weird alien monster, to a cool form where its armor has fused with the box legends to control them, and finally...glowy dragon. Riveting.  And to cap it off, its role in USUM is fairly meaningless, and it takes away focus from the far more interesting situations with Lillie's family, and instead brings all attention to "LOOK AT THIS COOL DRAGON!" that is not really that cool at all.  Without the focus on the characters that made SuMo work, you can basically say that USUM being bad was largely this thing's fault, because it's the kind of monster that's all flash and no substance.

2) Bewear line - UGH.  Okay, red pandas are adorable.  So the Pokemon based on an adorable thing should be adorable, right?  It is not.  It is horrific, and it's based on a "mascot" that wears a suit.  It's dead stare, obscene strength where it's noted to be able to snap people in half from hugs, and generally unsettling nature and just...awful.  I really don't like it.  Stufful is at least a little cuter, but the weird tag sticking out of its butt is a constant reminder that this is a creature which should not be.  But wait!  This is only #2!  What could possibly be worse than something that is a crime against nature?

1) Shiinotic - The complete and utter ruination of a Pokemon I could not have been more excited for.  Morelull is such a cute and precious creature, and it evolved into this horrific nightmare alien baby in a literal diaper.  Why would you take such an adorable and lovely creature, and turn it into this?  I have never felt such visceral hatred for a final form of an evolutionary line in all my life.  Morelull should've been beautiful.  And if we hadn't shifted to mega evolutions and Z-moves and all this, maybe I could've hoped one day for a Gen 4 scenario that offered different evolution paths or further evolution.   At least then it could've been a Golbat situation, or a Glalie.  But instead, this is it, probably forever. Morelull will only ever be this freak-ass alien baby in a literal diaper, and will never realize the beautiful potential it had.  Tragic.