#Bart Allen is petty and unhinged

[hijinxinprogress]

I love Wally and Bart getting along but I also love Bart deciding that if Wally doesn’t like him he’ll give him a reason bc it’s hilarious

Like Wally’s about to lose his goddamn mind bc this is the seventh time he’s tried to vent (complain) about Bart to another hero (speedster or otherwise) and gotten the response is ‘Bart, really? He’s a little silly at times but he’s a good kid” 

Bart dials up his mildly obnoxious persona to a million like full on annoyance and active inconvenience when Wally’s around and no one ever believes him

Like he shoves Wally at superspeed and goes ‘aw man did you not eat today?? You gotta be a little more responsible!’ whole time he waited until right before Wally got home and ate everything then left a note like ‘thanks a million - ✌🏾😋’ 

Bart definitely goes ‘huh’ and makes people repeat themselves like twelve times or until they get fed up and then they blink and he’s already answered or done whatever they asked and he’s giggling ‘nah, I’m just fucking with you’

Or complete opposite direction, Barts quiet and serious whereas if Wally’s not around he’s vibrant, loud, argumentative, and goofy so Wally jokes that Barts ‘a little too quiet for a speedster esp one from central’ and whoever he’s talking to looks at him funny bc ‘quiet?? Are you joking?? That mf never shuts up, he giggled through a 6 hour meeting with the jl like the entire meeting istg. He made me laugh so hard yesterday batman put me on surveillance duty for six months’ 

And he only speaks to Wally directly if he has to or they’re in the field so someone tries to pair him up with Wally for training 

And he’s like “no I’m good ngl I’d rather work with Thad and he’s on his ‘there can only be one’ bs rn” and everyone is so confused bc Bart will work with practically anyone including Thad so this is an extreme reaction and he’s like “Wally hates me 🤨 why would I willingly subject myself to that???” And Wally’s like I didn’t think you’d notice and Bart shoots back yeah bc you think I’m a moron

[hanihazeljade]

Three Pasts

The Waynes +Tim had Christmas. And some other welcome and unwelcome guests.

(HHJ: Hi guys! After this one update I might afraid that my next update will be so long after this one, because my professors decide that their happiness is their student's suffering. I am drowning with a bunch of reports to do, so just giving you a heads up!)

Start - Three Weeks

Prev - Three Videos

Next - Three Compliments

Tim knows that he had to go back, after with a bunch of messages pinging his phone and tonight is Christmas Eve. Tim doesn’t want to even celebrate this forsaken holiday, as he doesn’t have any experiences on how to celebrate it. 

But he has no choice as Tam is going to celebrate with her family and Tim doesn’t want to put more burden than he already had. 

So, at noon, he picked himself and said goodbye to Tam and travelled back to the curse house of the Waynes. He quietly enters the house and hopes that nobody could see him tiptoeing around as if he snuck out last night and failed to come home late at night. 

But of course, Cass found him doing stupid shit in his life. She has an expression on her face that could only be translated that she is not amused at whatever Tim pulled. Tim looked at her and awkwardly smiled, “Hey, Cassie.” Tim used his annoying voice, hoping for some reaction out of Cass, but nada.

“You left.” Cass signed and Tim knows he fucked up. Cass was more on using broken English as she was more comfortable using it and she just used signs when she is incredibly high of emotions, A.K.A when she is mad.

Tim just gave her a pout, hoping to soften her, “I know, I left a little bit hastily yesterday. But I was pissed, you know? Why do I get called a whore when they probably have laid more people than I have?” he justified himself, he knows it is a little bit immature but Tim is a petty little shit.

“Made me worried. What if you didn’t come back?” Cass signed a little too fast but Tim still understood it, after all, Cass’ eyes showed so much hurt and desperation. When he left, Tim did not give anyone anything to prove of his life except for those postcards that he kept sending until Tim was caught in the flesh by Cass.

Tim hugged his sister tight, “And not attend your wedding? Not in this life.” And he can feel Cass relaxed a little bit.

“Was really scared. Couldn’t find you. Felt miserable, useless.” Cass stuttered. And Tim just cradled her sister, understanding that his sister doesn’t like being incompetent.

Tim dragged Cass to the nearest couch, “Come on, let's take a nap before tonight.” Tim said as he fell down to the couch with Cass in tow.

Cass squirmed a little until she got a comfy spot. “Dad wants everyone to celebrate Christmas. Be here, okay?” she mumbled as she was slowly giving in to sleep.

“Just for you, Cass.”

+++++

Christmas eve is not that eventful, thank goodness. They just made gingerbread houses— which Tim wants to brag to Tam that he has the best gingerbread house, thank you very much— they ate dinner, with it can be considered a feast and Tim just stick to three foods that he very much missed to eat, Alfred’s carbonara, chicken pot pie and coffee jelly, and then of course, the gift giving. 

He gave everyone a knitter sweater with their symbols, and no Tim did not knit everyone’s sweater, he just made a custom order and the only sweater he hand knit is Cass’. Everyone seems fine with his gift and he starts to open his gifts. Alfred made him a red scarf, Bruce gave him camera lens –which he already has, but it doesn’t hurt having an extra one— Richard gave him a  ticket to Paris Olympics— no, Tim is not interested on going — Jason book about photography –which he doesn’t need, he had a degree— Damian gave him a painting of him, sitting on settee— Tim looks good in the painting, not gonna lie— Cass gave him an obnoxious yellow sleeve dress shirt with black pants — Tim is still laughing— Steph gave him a buttplug but Tim quickly hid it from the eyes of Alfred when he gave Stephanie the finger.

But nevertheless, nothing went awry as Christmas celebration was always done after the clock hit twelve, as the Waynes still needed to do their patrol. And Tim just waved goodbye and helped Alfred clean the mess they made.

And that’s how Christmas Eve went for him.

How does the Christmas Eve look so tame to him because the night after Christmas, Bruce apparently throws a Christmas Party for everyone in the caped community and their closed friends instead of going to the Christmas Gala for Gotham socialites.

And Tim is fucked. He doesn’t want to meet those bastards, he planned on sneaking to hang out with Tam but Tam is also invited together with her family. So, Tim is basically trapped and nowhere to escape and Cass would probably not gonna let him go.

So, here he was, sneaking to the food table to get some wine, because he is in desperate need of alcohol in his body to get through to this bloody Christmas Party that was hosted by Bruce and apparently it was a tradition for the past 5 years. And Tim doesn’t know that, he was gone for seven years!

Tim doesn’t expect anyone to know who the fuck he is. After all, he put on his best red dress, as it was per rule that one must wear a red or green, the Dior 1999 Collection , the red knit dress with mink fur collar and buttons. One of Tim’s favourites and he made sure to go bold or go home. He styled his shoulder-length hair in curls and had two braids that held his hair. And his face, he can be the new Madame Red. Red eyeshadow, red lipstick and red blush. He is the new Red Queen. 

But Tim doesn’t expect to be hugged by a speedster that worms his way to his cold, stone heart. It was Bartholomew Henry Allen II. One of his best friends, that he was kind of sad to leave. If  Tim just decides to be a man and reconnects with them but he chooses the godforsaken company of Bruce and he regrets it.

“TIM! I miss you so much!” Bart said as he continued to hug him so tight and Tim just let the negative year old kid to hug him. He kind of missed the feeling of Bart’s hugs now. 

“Hey, Bart. I miss you too.” Tim softly said as he gently patted Bart’s fluffy hair. 

Bart looks at him and has a pout, and Tim could not do anything but coo at such an adorable face, “Why did you not call me?”

Tim smiled a little, “I kind of have to give up my phone to go off the grid, you know?”

“But you memorised my number, email, and even Wally’s phone number!” Bart tightened his hug, seeing Tim was lying to him.

“I maybe just forgot.” Tim said sadly and Bart finally let it go. He let Tim go and dragged Tim to the sweets on the table, and they started catching up. Bart was finally a hero like his grandfather, and also finished school and has an identity as Wally’s little brother.

“Are you coming back to the cape scene?” Bart said after swallowing a huge marshmallow that was covered in chocolate. And Tim answered in a quick speed.

“Nope! Absolutely not!”

Bart grimaced, “That was a bit quick, don’t you think?”

“I don’t have to think about going back to the phase of my life that made me miserable, Bart. Some things are the best to be forgotten and never look back on.” Tim smiled and Bart finally got the hint that Tim will never be back on taking a mantle ever again.

++++++++

“Tim?”

Tim stopped his strut after hearing the voice that he rather not want to hear again, he looked at the man and straightfaced said, “It’s Timothy. Timothy Jackson Drake. Just in case you misnamed it in your head, Mr. Kent.”

“It’s been so long and you look different.” Clark said, probably hoping for some small talk, but Timothy rather did not talk to this man, he may have healed himself but he also was a petty man.

“You too. You look…” Timothy’s eyes scanned Clark from the top of his head to the bottom of his shoes, degradingly, “...old.” and then Timothy smiled, empathetically(degrading).

Clark chuckled, not sensing Tim’s hatred to be in his vicinity, “Well I am nearing sixty, ageing and all of that.”

“Kind of treating yourself poorly, don’t you?” Tim smiled so sweetly yet his eyes were full of venom, “Wrinkles, spots, dullness… poor you, Clark.” Tim pointed out all of the signs of ageing in Clark and having so much fun seeing a little awkwardness on Clark’s face.

“I am fine with —”

“Oh, I am quite busy as I need to come back to Tam before she throws a tantrum.” Tim cut Clark’s sentence as his patience is already thin enough to be rude and disrespectful to Superman.

Clark seemed like still hadn't gotten the memo and kept on questioning Tim, “Are you and Tam?” Clark asked, seemingly having not touched the internet to find out that Tim and Tam are nothing but friends.

“Haven’t you heard from Vicki Vale yet?”

“A reporter yet so damn ignorant. Shouldn’t you be more informed on who is in the party? It is kind of your thing.”

++++++++

Timothy finally got the time for himself as he escaped to the crowded ballroom where the Christmas party was hosted and Tim finally got a chance to escape by the veranda. He is glad he took a bottle of champagne and a bowl of crackers, as he got the serene scene of Bristol and the nice bite of Gotham’s winter.

Timothy was about to close his eyes as he made his mind to sleep in the cold veranda, when the doors toward it opened, revealing Superboy I, Conner ‘Kon-El’ Kent. A man that he trusts, and the man who throws him out.

Tim decided to end the awkward staring contest when he greeted Conner, “Conner! It has been so long.”

Conner looks where the voice that he hasn't heard for seven years comes from and he doesn’t expect a Timothy Jackson Drake in front of him. Tim changed, the light from the chandeliers gave Tim’s red undertone to shine with blood moon earrings and red pearl necklace. Tim is wearing a red fur dress and has a wool crepe scarf. And Tim also put on some bold red eyeshadow and lipstick on his face.

“Tim, you look stunning.” Conner said without thinking, “But aren’t you a little bit too red?”

Tim looked at his clothes, “It’s Christmas and the only dress that I have in something red like the theme is this, Dior, 1999 Collection. One of my favourites actually. It’s vintage, it’s on trend.” Tim smiled and then gasped, “Do not tell me that you are still not on trend, Conner? That is very shameful.”

“I just don’t like following the flow.”

“And yet you did, to keep the peace. Right?” Tim smiled, remembering the last conversation he had with Conner before going off the grid.

Conner's face was contorted in grimace, guilt on his eyes were finally showing. “I am sorry—”

“I don’t need your apology, Conner. I already forgave you, so, so, so long ago.” Tim said and patted Conner’s back with his gloved hand. “But I don’t forget, I am not as naive as I was once.” and with that Timothy left Conner alone.

[hijinxinprogress]

Young Justice spends all of their time violating the Geneva conventions or mocking their mentors bc they’re traumatized theater kids without any capacity for a verbal filter which is also why they’re not allowed to watch movies at the tower

YJ is watching some hero movie and a character with a gruff voice sternly says “we don’t kill…we’re better than that” so Tim gives the most dramatic sigh and goes “this is giving me back the migraine from our last lecture from the league” which leads to YJ doing their best to dramatically reenact disappointed justice league lectures

Cissie, offhandedly: Most superheroes having that dumbass code that’s some variation of “we don’t kill, we’re better than that…” make me fucking nauseous because who’s we? I’ll have you know my mother assures me that I’m a piece of shit everyday so no I’m not better than this.

Greta, in a mocking disappointed tone: Cissie! I’m very surprised at your behavior, we’ve taught you better than that! We’re here to protect people not to hurt them

Kon, in his best angry Cissie impression: Well, who’s gonna protect my sleep schedule? You woke me up at 3am to stop some idiot that wanted to steal kryptonite? Are you serious?They’re not going to jail they’re going to the nearest cemetery that I can promise you

Anita, in a dramatic hero pose: I’m not like you…you made me realize something, I have friends and people that love me so I’m not going to-

Bart, doing an excellent mimicry of Anita’s unimpressed face: He killed your family wdym you’re better than that, that’s dumb as hell you even look at anyone I know with the tiniest hint of malice you’re leaving in a bodybag

Kon, turning to Bart and making his voice echo the way Greta’s does when she’s annoyed: what is this nonsense I wouldn’t let anyone get away with doing that to you guys I promise they’d suffer immensely

Cassie, hovering in the air doing a terrible impression of disappointed superman: We can’t kill because then we’re no better than they are

Anita, glaring at Cassie with her best Kon impression: I’m okay with that…let’s not pretend you don’t expect this from me, am I supposed to care? They deserve to suffer, why should I be the only one that has to suffer?

Anita, pretending to storm off dramatically while Cassie tries to look disapproving:

Cissie, doing her angry Bart impression: You’re not gonna waste people I actually like then get to chill in jail and breakout in a couple days

Tim, in a dramatic ‘I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed’ tone: I’m not sure how you did things in the future but you can’t do things like this, do you understand?

Cissie, snorting and crossing her arms in the agitated way Bart does: I understand that our first fight will be our last because we’re not doing this shit again I’m not superman

Greta, in a gruff Batman voice: People can change if you give them a chance

Cassie, in a sarcastic Tim impression: I’ll start a timer I’ll even give him five minutes why are you playing with me rn Batman

Bart, sighing disappointedly: You're so angry and I wish you’d find an appropriate outlet for all this aggression. You don’t know what taking a life will do to you, what it’ll take from you….

Tim, in an irritated Kon impression: why not? we can find out let’s do an experiment and find out I like science I’m game hbu??

Cassie, who does the second best Batman voice: Neither of you can even begin to understand-! How do you know you won’t end up ending low tier criminals like pickpocketers? We can’t play judge, jury, and executioner… what happens when you’re wrong? What’s going to stop you?

Greta, fiddling with a phone and shrugging before giving Cassie Tim’s patented ‘I can ruin your life and you’ve just given me a reason’ look while doing her impression of the way Tim stands when he’s pissed and rolling her eyes: Self control? Common sense? When have my hunches ever been wrong? Don’t play with my intelligence, it will not work out for you

Bart, doing his best to copy the way Cassie stands and messes with their hair when they’re pissed: I’m just saying, if you blow up a city block you lose air privileges I have debris in my shoes rn for what?

[JL was meeting with a bunch of reporters in the tower and later had to do a lot of damage control after the press released a statement about the JL failing to rehabilitate young villains]