#Barney Ross imagine

[lady-manfredi]

"So our old team is really gone?"

"Yeah. Unfortunately." responded Barney, voice laced with regret and guilt.

"So that's all you've got now?" Doc followed up, meaning you and the guys.

"Yeah." "Might wanna thank the guys. And her. She's the one who helped me find you." Barney added, pointing straight at you as you helped the guys load up onto the plane.

When he laid eyes on you, Doc's jaw dropped and it took him a moment to speak again.

"Sweet mother of God"..."I must be dead and in heaven, cause I'm looking at an angel".

Barney snorted at his remark, a sense of pride washing over him. "Careful, Doc. She's spoken for" he warned.

"What? You?" Doc teased, his tone full of disbelief.

"Yeah. Me. So don't try anything funny."

"Me? You know I'd never.."

"Sure you would, Casanova."

[astarab1aze]

guys could you imagine nightfolk pbs

the count is just this guy teaching nightfolk kids how to count their blessings and know when to back out, this shit ain't nothin' to me man-- so you have a whole generation of nightfolk kids who are just entirely unhinged because nightfolk pbs really did that

uncle roger is a frogman from queens and his name is actually uncle frogger

bob ross is now bog moss, a creature from a black lagoon who took a good hard look at his life and decided pursuing art would set a great example

barney? no it's audrey ii and they sing songs about her. she has a whole toy line-

antiques roadshow still regularly makes an appearance except they feature cursed artefacts and heirlooms

do you know how fucking hilarious this would be

[laocommunity]

The Ultimate Action Squad is Back! Watch Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren and Jason Statham in The Expendables 4 Trailer

The Ultimate Action Squad is Back! Watch Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren and Jason Statham in The Expendables 4 Trailer The Ultimate Action Squad is Back! Watch Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, and Jason Statham in The Expendables 4 Trailer The Expendables is a highly-acclaimed action film series that has featured some of the biggest action stars in Hollywood. The Expendables 4, the long-awaited fourth installment of the Expendables franchise, is slated to be released soon. This time, the movie is set to feature Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, and Jason Statham, along with some new faces. Introduction The ultimate action squad is back, and this time, they are giving fans more than what they can ever imagine. After several years of waiting, the Expendables 4 is finally here, and it promises to be everything that fans have been waiting for. This article takes a closer look at what to expect from the Expendables 4 as well as the cast members and their roles in the movie. History of the Expendables Franchise The Expendables franchise has been a significant part of the action movie industry since 2010 when the first movie was released. The movie, directed by Sylvester Stallone, featured some of the biggest action stars in Hollywood, including Stallone himself, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, and Mickey Rourke. The movie was a box office hit, grossing over $274 million worldwide. The movie's success led to two more sequels, the Expendables 2 and the Expendables 3, both directed by Simon West and Patrick Hughes, respectively. What to Expect from the Expendables 4 The Expendables 4 promises to be one of the best action movies of the year, with a star-studded cast, intense action sequences, and captivating storyline. The movie is set to feature some of Hollywood's biggest action stars, including Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, and Jason Statham, who are returning for their roles as Barney Ross, Gunnar Jensen, and Lee Christmas, respectively. In addition, the movie's cast will feature newcomers, including Megan Fox, Tony Jaa, and 50 Cent, among others. The Cast and Their Roles in the Movie Sylvester Stallone is returning for his role as Barney Ross, a former mercenary who leads a team of fearless fighters on a dangerous mission. Dolph Lundgren is also returning for his role as Gunnar Jensen, a former member of the Expendables who is now a member of the team. Jason Statham is also set to return as Lee Christmas, an expert in close combat and a skilled marksman. Megan Fox Megan Fox is one of the new cast members of the Expendables 4. The actress is set to play a pivotal role in the movie, although details about her character are yet to be revealed. Megan Fox is best known for her roles in Transformers and Jennifer's Body. Tony Jaa Tony Jaa is a Thai actor and martial artist known for his roles in action movies. He is set to play a significant role in the Expendables 4, and fans can expect to see him showcase his martial arts skills. 50 Cent 50 Cent is an American rapper and actor who is also joining the cast of the Expendables 4. The rapper is set to play a character in the movie, and fans are excited to see him on the big screen. The Trailer The trailer for the Expendables 4 has been released, and it has fans excited about the upcoming movie. The trailer shows the cast in action, fighting against their enemies, and showcasing their amazing skills. The trailer promises an action-packed movie, with high adrenaline, intense action, and amazing stunts. Conclusion The Expendables 4 is one of the highly-anticipated movies of the year, and fans can expect it to be everything they have been waiting for. The movie promises to feature some of Hollywood's biggest action stars, intense action sequences, and an exciting storyline. With a star-studded cast and an amazing trailer, fans are eagerly waiting for the movie's release. FAQs 1. When is the Expendables 4 set to be released? The official release date for the movie is yet to be announced, but it is slated to be released in 2022. 2. Who are the new cast members in the Expendables 4? The new cast members include Megan Fox, Tony Jaa, 50 Cent, and others. 3. Who are the returning cast members? The returning cast members are Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, and Jason Statham. 4. Who directed the first three Expendables movies? The first Expendables movie was directed by Sylvester Stallone, while the second and third installments were directed by Simon West and Patrick Hughes, respectively. 5. What can fans expect from the Expendables 4? Fans can expect the movie to be action-packed, with intense action sequences, captivating storyline, and a star-studded cast. #ENTERTAINMENT Read the full article

[one-boring-person]

What about a Barney Ross x Reader where they're this small and positive person (like between 4 ft 10 in and 5 ft 2in) that literally smiles and laughs through the danger? And they share a vulnerable moment with Barney about their past/trauma and end up having a romantically heated moment? It could also be like the Expendables Crew x Reader with the same prompt and they support the reader if you want!

I'm really sorry this is a bit short, but I hope you like it!😊💛

Took You Long Enough.

Barney Ross (The Expendables) x reader

Warnings: allusion to sex, mentions of abuse, mention of death, mention of injury, alcohol consumption

Masterlist

"You ok there, kiddo?" The gruff voice behind me startles me a little from my thoughts, my head turning towards the source.

Barney moves into the ring of visibility cast by the fire he's permitted us to light, dark eyes glowing in the orange flush surrounding us. His body armor hangs loosely from one arm, his undershirt rumpled and bunched around his musculature underneath, pistols still hanging from his hips. As he draws nearer, I smile a little at the state of his hair: mussed and wild.

"Yeah, just thinking." I respond, watching as he comes to sit beside me, pulling a hip flask out.

I raise an eyebrow and he waves me off, playfully dismissive as he takes a sip of whatever he's got inside, offering it to me. Taking it, I sniff the rim before tipping some into my mouth, wincing at how strong it is.

"Jesus, Barney, you trying to wake the dead with that stuff?!" I swallow tightly, grimacing at the flavor.

The mercenary laughs, holding the flask loosely.

"Feels like it needs to sometimes." He muses, the self-deprecating note creeping into his voice again, as it so often does in his quieter moments. 

I shrug.

"Gunnar uses stuff like that to make his brain function normally." I comment, glancing over to where the Swede is asleep.

Barney laughs softly - as softly as he can manage with a smoke-torn throat - turning his gaze on me again.

"What were you thinking about?" He eventually asks, head tilted, dark eyes curious but not probing.

Tensing a little, I pull at my fingers a little, unconsciously, unsure of whether or not to tell him. Part of me wants to keep this to myself, but the other part knows full well that he'll figure it out eventually. 

"My dad." I finally admit, keeping my head down. 

"Your dad?" His voice is quiet, tone questioning though it's clear he's not trying to pressure me into answering.

"Yeah," I nod, unwilling to look up as the memories stir in my head again, "My dad."

"What about your dad?"

Swallowing, I take a breath to calm the rising emotion, regaining my composure.

"About how he's the only reason I'm still around. And where that eventually got him." I steady my breathing, "My mother was...abusive. She was dependent on alcohol, and she was often violent when she got drunk, to both me and my dad. It was terrible...she'd come home from "work" reeking of booze and sex, then she'd have a go at us. Then she'd take her fists to us."

I stop for a moment to steady myself again, my breath threatening to hitch as I recall those horrific episodes...the raised fists, clutching shards of bottle, or glass, slashing down at the nearest target. The last time, she found her target in my father and raised her fist never again against him. She didn't need to.

"She used to use pieces of glass to...to cut us." Subconsciously, I rub at my arms, remembering the ugly scars littering the skin, "One day, my dad protected me and she got him in the neck."

I fall silent, glad to know that Barney is listening with his whole attention, eyes fixed on me, wide with undisguised shock.

"(Y/n)...I'm so sorry...I had no idea." He starts, sounding genuinely apologetic.

"Well, now you do." I laugh, but the sound is dry and sharp, unnatural.

We fall silent, the mercenary evidently unsure of how to continue until he eventually moves closer, hesitantly lifting a hand to my chin, which he takes between three fingers, tilting my face towards him. Meeting his gaze, I can't help the jump in my pulse at our sudden proximity, overwhelmed by the sympathy flooding his brown eyes.

"I'm really sorry that happened to you, (Y/n). Thank you for telling me." He says softly, breath lightly brushing over my face as he speaks.

I can't keep my eyes from his lips now, a deep yearning awakening inside me. Feebly, I try to say something in return, but can only manage a soft sound of acknowledgement, sounding almost pathetic. His fingers are warm on my skin, rough calluses scraping ever so slightly over my chin as he lets his hand fall ever so slightly, his eyes now raking over my face entirely. Unable to help myself, I let out a soft groan, nearly imperceptible. 

Somehow, he hears it.

Instantly, his hand cups my face, pulling me forwards, lips pressing insistently against mine. Moaning in surprise, I clutch at his shoulders and lean into him, pressing closer as he uses his hold on my face to deepen the kiss, tonguing at my lip. Parting gladly, I let my eyes fall closed as his tongue slides into my mouth, tasting me even as I do him, discerning the strong alcohol and rough cigar smoke on his breath as he groans into me. 

Dropping his hands, Barney grips my waist and pulls me into his lap, pinning me against his hard body. Moaning, I grind against him, pulling back as he starts to bite and kiss at my jawline, huffs of need leaving him. His tongue is hot and wet on my skin as he licks down to my neck, following every trail he leaves with his lips, hands gripping me tightly. Nudging his nose against the underside of my jaw, Barney encourages me to look up so he can lavish my neck with wet, open-mouthed kisses, stroking up my back now, hand tangling in my hair to pull my head back. Fervently kissing my neck, he wraps my legs around him and flips us so we're lying on the floor, his hard body pressing down on top of me, lips returning to mine to stifle the moans that are now escaping me.

"There are more private places to be doing that." A gruff voice interrupts us, Lee's weary tone catching us off-guard.

Parting, we look through the darkness at the mercenary watching us, blushing as he smirks and lifts an eyebrow.

"Took you long enough, Barney."

[80s4life]

Opposites Attract**

Word Count: 1,895

Status: Suggested!

Ask: Hi. I am wondering if you could write something with Barney Ross. He's dating someone a bit younger than him, she keeps to herself, and one day they're hanging around the plane after everyone's gone and he's up in the pilots seat. Maybe she starts off teasing him (maybe is wearing one of his shirts like a flannel unbuttoned with just her underwear on) and then it leads to them doing it in the pilots seat.

A/N: Very kinky and pretty fun to write actually! Tysm anon!

Fandom: The Expendables Series

Relationship: Barney Ross x Young!Female!Reader

Summary: You always have to tred lightly when it comes to surprising Barney. From new positions to new lingerie, it takes a lot to impress the stubborn man, but not enough for it to be an annoyance. Quite frankly, it just turns you on more. A cat and mouse game for example...

Warnings: smut, nsfw, teasing, chair sex, plane sex, cursing/language, daddy/sir kink, age-gap pairing, dom/sub dynamic

Taglist: @tangledcopperstrands @snapessecretdiary​

Masterlist Expendables Masterlist

{Gif is not mine, credits go to @slystallone​}

Looking yourself over one last time, you smirk at your appearance. From the flannel to the the lingerie, you stand a little taller, proud even. Just looking at you, anyone could see the label right above your head: “HIS.” And that you were, no matter how much he’d tried to distance you guys from ever being together. Sighing, you psyched yourself up. Even now, you are still a little intimidated by the attractive older man, as if every time you surprise him, it’s a test. “This’ll give me an ‘A+,’” you laugh.

Humming, you lull your head to the little tune playing in your head, doing your final touch-ups to your hair and cleavage. Finally, shutting off the bathroom light and walking down the aisle of the fuselage, you scamper up to the cockpit quietly. As if nothing was out of the ordinary, you brush by the tight space beside his form lounging on the pilot’s seat, sprawling yourself out across the co-pilot’s.

Turning his head from the magazine he was reading, numerous parts and additions for all types of machinery scribbled about it, Barney gazes at you. Feeling his gaze, you try your best to ignore it, typing in the PIN to your phone instead. Quickly, he turns his head back to the tools, clearing his throat as he slightly shifts his position. You smirk.

After a good five minutes, you get impatient. He wasn’t looking. This made the chase even harder for you.

Forcing a yawn, you stretch your back over the armrest, boobs becoming awfully present in the dim lighting. The flannel, hanging loosely on your form, parts and moves away from your chest, unclasped buttons managing to hold the shirt perfectly for Barney’s view. Just to add flavor, you squeal a little in the yawn for emphasis. 

This catches his attention once more, a smirk of his own now forming as his eyes never leave the magazine. This pisses you off. Getting up now, you turn to face him, frustrated with pent-up hormones. Unbuttoning the rest of the clasps on his flannel, you let the sleeves hang around your arms and ass, black lingerie lining each and every curve of your body.

He gives you a once-over.

Groaning in confusion and annoyance, you yell, “Fine, have it your way Old Man! Go play with yourself then!” Snatching up your phone, you storm towards the door once more, intent on leaving him alone. Then, his hand, strong and firm, grips your forearm fiercely. 

“All you had to do was ask Baby. Didn’t need to play games...” he now teases you.

“Oh, you Asshole!” you laugh, “You couldn’t have just appreciated the effort? Given in for once? Acknowledged me?”

“I did! I looked at you the first time!”

“You know what I mean Mr. Ross...” you smile, noticing his hand still wrapped around your arm.

Just as he catches your line of sight, he tugs your arm closer to him as he stands up, towering you. Looking up at him through your lashes, he looks down at you demanding, his breath quickening at every short movement. Now, at the close proximity, you can feel your effect on the man, his bulge tapping your hip bone.

Smirking, you pull him in for a kiss. Just as you are able to share air, you push him into his seat, winking, and getting on top of him. Straddling his waist, your fingers trace figures on his chest, neck, and jaw. His eyes, a deep brown, stare and watch your every moment, taking in every beautiful feature of your face as he does. 

His shirt goes once it gets in your way, your fingers following each intricate marking of his numerous tattoos. “Are you gonna let me play with you all night or are ya gonna tell me whose boss?”

Snapping from his trance, he smirks, “I was just admiring your handiwork.” Superior instincts kicking back in, he hefts you up, and places you on your feet just as he gets back onto his own. “Clothes have to go,” he mutters in a gravelly voice, shedding the flannel and bra from your chest, mouth instantly attaching to a nipple. 

Groaning, you straddle him once more. Tugging on the hairs at the base of his neck, you move to unclasp his belt buckle, unlooping it from his tight jeans. Taking advantage of his set determination, you unzip his pants as well, playing with the tent that pokes through the open expansion of space. Of course he goes commando.

Barney shivers at the slight contact, lightly biting a nipple as a warning. You ignore it, playing with the hem of his jeans and intentionally ignoring the third party. He groans in dissatisfaction, taking matters into his own hands once he realizes you weren’t going to give into his desires that were clearly made known.

“You fucking brat,” Barney grumbles, pushing you into the pilot’s seat, removing the rest of his pants and discarding them on the floor. Swiftly, he grabs your bum, dragging it to the end of the seat, removing your panties before you could fight him on it. “Do I need to spank you?”

Heat instantly flames between your thighs, unconsciously clenching them together.

“I asked you a question Brat,” Barney demands. 

“Yes sir.”

“’Yes sir’ what?” he smiles coyly down at you.

“Yes sir, I need a spanking,” you mutter, embarrassed.

“Do I have to ask you to repeat that now, too?”

“No sir.”

“Then repeat yourself.”

“Yes sir, I need a spanking,” you yell exasperatedly.

“Watch your tone,” he warns, pulling you up and out of the seat. “Five spanks...unless you try somethin’. Then you’ll get your reward.”

Sprawling comfortably on the pilot’s seat, he indulges in the supreme feeling of your smaller body curling over the tops of his knees and thighs, at his mercy. Chuckling darkly, he grazes a hand across one of your ass cheeks, making sure he’s extra careful. The smooth sensation brings goosebumps on your skin, unsure of what or when you would earn your ‘beating.’

Strike! Barney slaps your ass without warning, catching you off guard and initiating a squeal. “No noises,” Barney warns, completely indulging in being the man in charge. “Count. Out loud.” 

“One,” you whimper.

Enjoying the nice hand print he’s left, he dubs it only fair if he gives the other side the same treatment. Striking the other cheek, you wince hard, biting into your lip as tears start to form. “T-Two.”

The next two come in close seconds, not giving you the satisfaction of a slight break. “Three... Four.” Tears do fall from your face, but your thankful you’d gone almost completely numb.

“Just one more Sweetheart, you can do it. Right?” he rubs your butt.

“Y-Y-Yes. Yes, s-sir.” you try your best not to let him hear your struggles.

As soon as you answer, one final hit lands on the center of your ass, stinging fresh and raw. You dig your nails subconsciously into Barneys thigh, enjoying the pleasurable yet painful sensitivity he’d left in his wake.

Patting you lightly, Barney motions that you are not longer in trouble, asking you to get up. Wobbling, you follow suite, wiping the tears away as he stand straight before him. “Did you learn your lesson, Little Girl?”

“Yes Sir, I promise not to do it again.”

“We both know that’s a lie...” Barney mumbles, smirking as he pulls you into his lap again.

Instantly, your need flares up once more, his dick resting on your stomach between your bodies. Licking your lips, you look up at Barney, awaiting some sort of command. He stares back at you tauntingly, testing you. You almost want to scream, take what you want without his approval; but you know there’d be more in store for you, lengthening the torture of a much needed release or two.

“What are you waiting for? Go on, take what ya want Baby Girl,” Barney sighs, chuckling.

His breath catches in his throat as you instantly wrap your hand around his dick, your cold hands an unusual feeling. Lifting up your hips, you align him with your entrance, using the help of your hand to guide you through the first few thrusts. Eventually, you build a rhythm, moaning as loudly and as greedily ad you pleased.

Barney makes his fair share of noises too, making you all but flustered as you realize that you are the only one allowed to see him this way. All beet red, breathless, and utterly infatuated with one person, and one person only: you. It seems you are not the only one with a label, huh?

Your hips start to stutter as you start to reach the end of your line, climax nearing any second now. Barney feels your walls tighten, causing him to knock his head back in ecstasy. “Barn, I’m gonna...” you cut off with a moan, starting to slow your motions as your pleasure threatens to overcome you.

“I know,” he reassures, grabbing you waist as he deliciously thrusts upwards, stilling for a moment, and then thrusting again. He increases the speed as you wrap your arms around his shoulders tightly, trying to grind down in time with his hips. 

Pounding into your core, you scream as you knot starts to break, your body shaking uncontrollably. Moaning Barney’s name, your orgasm hits you quickly with even more begs. The sound of his name spilling from your lips in the heat of passion, Barney nears his climax as well, finding your voice all too attractive.

Thrusting one last, hard time, Barney cums inside you in a rush, pulling you as close as his string biceps would allow. You easily reciprocate, still trying to come down from your high, panting into the crook of his neck and shoulder.

Taking some time to catch your breath, Barney smiles, “If only you’d follow orders on missions as obediently as you did here.”

“Oh shut up! You really gonna ruin the moment with something stupid?”

He simply laughs, “It’s only stupid because I’m right.”

“Whatever, you’re just lucky I put up with your ass,” you giggle, pulling him out and grabbing a towel to clean yourselves up.

“If putting up with me means dressing down to the nines in order to impress, then I’m 100% okay with this.”

You blush, looking him in the eyes, “I just want you to feel special.”

His heart melts a little, admiring your puppy dog eyes, pulling your body to rest on his lap again. Legs dangling over the side of the chair, you cuddle up to his chest, placing your head under his chin. 

“It’s fine, you don’t have to say anything. It’s more of a reassurance thing...impressing you. I mean, at the end of the night, we both appreciate it right?” you start to ramble.

Grabbing your chin calmly, Barney smiles broadly, “I love you. Anything you wear is fucking impressing.”

You return the smile lovingly, “Then I’ve accomplished my mission. I love you, too, Old Man.”

[ficmesideways]

Request for Anonymous Gif Source: Smilee

Imagine being Barney's younger wife and Smilee having a crush on you

------- Imagine -------

You rushed into the bar barely stopping to give your husband a kiss or say high to the rest of the guys when you saw Smilee’s…well…smiling face. “It worked.” You screeched jumping into his larger frame to give him a big hug before he gently placed you down. His hands lingering just shy of too long on your hips, not that you noticed with your bouncing happiness. “The move you showed my nephew for his bike worked amazingly. You should have seen his and his friends faces. “Thanks again John, you made his day.” You said touching his arm gently before waving Barney over to the bar.

“We owe you a drink.” You said again as Smilee continued to watch you. 

“It was nothing.” He said turning toward the bar with his back to Barney’s approaching form. 

“I insist, you were such a good friend.” 

At your words Smilee tensed slightly but tried to keep the smile on his face and in his voice. “For you Mrs. Ross, anytime.”

You rolled your eyes, “Ugh don’t call me that, it makes me feel ancient. I’m your age for chirstsake. I’ve told you to call me (Y/N).”

Smilee only nodded and took the beer you offered just as Barney reached you and gave you a kiss on the cheek. “Everything ok darling?”

“Perfect, but we owe John here a drink and your buying.” You said happily as you took you own beer and gave your husband a kiss. “Now, let’s get a table.”

Smilee hid his grimace about the idea of spending more time in you and your husbands’ company before he caught himself watching you walk away. Shaking his head, he took a deep breath and followed.

[baseballbitch116]

Welcome Back

“Requesting The Expendables where they are sitting down having a drink in a bar with their crush? Love your work btw”

Thank you! You didn’t specify which character so I am making three separate parts for Barney, Gunner, and Lee. Sorry it took so long to get to your request love, hope you like it!

@pandas-world

———

Warnings: alcohol

Word count: 367

The guys have just gotten back from their mission to get Stone only hours ago. You wanted to come with but Barney and Lee insisted you sit this one out. You didn’t know, of course, the reason behind it was that Barney was realizing his feelings for you and did not want you to get hurt. He did not think he would return from this mission, but being the badass he is, he returned.

You step into the bar that Caesar said that were at and look around for your favorite men. You spot and head over to him. Leaning down, you mumble into his ear, “Well look who’s back in one piece.” Barney smiles as you throw your arms over his shoulders and kiss his cheek. “Welcome back.” You tell him, taking the seat beside him. “How are you?” You ask as he turns to face you. He puts his hand up to the bartender and gives you a quick once over. Your outfit is just jeans and a nice shirt, but he thinks you look amazing. “Better now.” He responds. “Get her a beer.” He tells the bartender, who nods, going to grab you a beer. You smile at your friend and admire how good he looks when he’s not angry and stressed. “Glad I’m back.” He says.

Just as you go to respond, Caesar spots you and engulfs you in a hug. “Y/N! You come see him before me?! I’m hurt!” He exclaims, clearly already half drunk. You laugh and punch his shoulder.

Little do you know that this is bothering Barney, but he ignores it, knowing his feelings are childish, and takes a swig of his beer. “You’re gonna break her, Caesar.” He jokes, half wanting him to get off of you, half meaning it. He pulls away and stares at Barney, before breaking out into a laugh. “I’ll leave y’all to it.” He says as he walks away in search of Yang.

You take a sip of your beer and engage in light conversation with Barney, having his full attention. You don’t catch on to how he is acting different with you than he does other people, but the boys certainly do.

---

To be continued

[feirceangel]

Imagine | Warming Up

Imagine camping out with the Expendables in the cold.

Word Count: 1185

Thanks to @one-boring-person for their help! Definitely go check out their blog!!!

~

The air is sharp and cold, chilling you to the bone. Sunlight slowly fades, bright colours giving way to darkness speckled with white stars.

A painting of serenity.

Puffs of condensation escape your lips as you trudge through the deep snow. You've figured out a way to successfully avoid most of the snow, carefully following in the footsteps of Gunnar.

It saves you effort to simply copy the bigger man's steps, so you've been doing it for the past hour or so.

The deep trenches that his feet leave behind providing you with firm ground to trudge upon.

You and Toll Road occupy the rear of the pack, with Gunnar and Caesar in the middle, and Lee and Barney at the front.

At least the constant movement is fighting away the frigidity.

This assignment is in Igarka, Russia. A smaller town that started as a lumber export but the sawmill has since closed, leading to a decrease in population.

And, of course, it's freezing here.

The air bites at your lungs as you take a deep breath, stumbling as your foot slips on the snow.

You lurch forward, face planting into Gunnar's back, hands gripping his sides to stay upright.

Eyebrow raised, he looks over his shoulder at you, a lopsided smirk forming.

"I'm that irresistible?"

You quickly step back, rosy cheeks heating up from a blush. Forcing a scowl you say, "No. I just slipped."

Before Gunnar can make another comment, Barney points to a nearby cluster of trees.

"We'll camp there for the night. You guys set up, Me and Lee'll scope the area."

You sigh, shrugging your heavy backpack off and leaning your rifle against a tree. Thankful for the relief, you get straight to work.

The tent itself is not all that big, but it will suffice. It's large enough for everyone to fit, albeit a bit uncomfortably.

"Here, Y/n, let me help," Gunnar offers, taking one end of the tent to assist you in raising it.

"Thanks," you offer him a small smile.

Soon enough, the shelter is prepared and Caesar is lighting a fire as the dark of night overcomes the woods.

You are quick to seat yourself by the fire, trying to warm your cold hands as Caesar begins to cook. The smell of it makes your mouth water.

"Don't suppose you have extra?" You question, eyeing the pot he's stirring.

He chuckles, "Nope. You should've brought your own."

"I didn't have any room in my pack..." You glance disdainfully at your own ready to eat meal.

Caesar shakes his head, not giving in to your pouting at all.

"When I get home, I'm gonna have a feast. I'm talking steak, potatoes, cake; anything I can get my hands on."

Beneath you, the snow is cold even through your snow-pants.

"I'll also have a hot bath," you mutter under your breath.

Unfortunately, Gunnar just happens to sit beside you, catching your quip.

"I know a way to warm up real fast," he smirks, shooting you a wink.

The others sit down too, catching your blush and rolling their eyes at his comment.

"I'm sure you do. But I'll have to decline," you manage to laugh it off even though his flirtatious comment sends butterflies flapping in your stomach.

Toll Road switches the conversation to something his therapist said once and you're thankful for the switch. Casual banter begins to fly back and forth between teammates as supper is devoured. You follow along, occasionally adding to the conversation and laughing when someone makes a joke.

Eventually, the food is gone and the night grows colder.

"I'll take first watch," Barney announces in his rough voice.

"Alright, I'll get the second," Lee chimes.

You roll your eyes, "You know, other people can keep watch too."

"Yeah, but not as good as us," Lee states with a smirk.

"Oh, bullshit, anyone here could keep watch just as good, if not better than you," you retort.

"Fine, then you take first watch."

"Fine, I will," you say even as instant regret floods you. You're tired enough to fall asleep right away and you just had to run your mouth.

Barney shakes his head, "Okay, lights out."

You watch somewhat enviously as the boys pile into the tent. Gunnar is the last to enter, grinning at you.

"The offer to warm up still stands."

His gruff voice is enough to send pleasant shivers down your spine. A returning smile forms on your cold lips as you shake your head. He shrugs and enters the tent, closing the flap.

Leaning against a tree, you grab your gun and keep your eyes peeled for any movement in the surrounding area. Hours pass with no action, your body shivering as the cold permeates you.

The only thoughts keeping you awake are images of Gunnar 'warming you up', which you try to shake away. Gunnar is a known flirt, and you're fairly certain that half the things he says are just to tease you. He couldn't really be attracted to you, right?

But what if he is?

You don't let yourself dwell on it.

After a while, Lee is crawling out of the tent to replace you. He says something but you're too tired and cold to completely understand him.

So, you wave him off and shake the snow from your boots as you enter the covered area. Your weary eyes scan the place, finding the only available area is right next to Gunnar.

Too exhausted to feel any embarrassment, you practically collapse next to the snoring Swede, wrapping yourself in your blanket.

He's so close to you that your arms are touching and you can feel how warm he is through your thin blanket.

Shifting your position, you move so that your back is facing him, determined to fall asleep.

Your plan is foiled as the snoring stops suddenly.

Before you know what's happening, a large arm is wrapping a toasty blanket over you and pulling you up to a hot chest.

Shocked, you twist your head only to have a large hand stop your movement.

"Shh- just go to sleep."

Gunnar's voice is laden with sleep, a sensual sound that makes your face heat up.

He's so close to you. You can feel his solid chest against your back, his heavy arm trapping you against him. You feel like a teddy bear as you're embraced by this giant of a man. And you can't deny that you love the feeling.

His chest moves steadily as you get comfortable and close your eyes.

~

A low whistle is what brings you to your senses, dawn breaking through the opening to the tent.

You're still in the Swede's strong arms, warm as could be.

"You and Gunnar, eh? Who'd a thought?"

Lee's teasing voice makes you glare in his direction.

"Shut up."

"Aww, don't be bashful."

You flip him the bird and turn to press your face against Gunnar's chest again.

He lifts you slightly so that you're laying on top of him, his hand resting atop your head.

"Sleep well?" He asks with a smile. Not his classic smirk, but a genuine smile.

You return the look, "Yeah, we'll have to do that more often."

"I'd like that."

[lady-manfredi]

It's been a few weeks since you've joined the team, in a sense that is. Your first meet with the big burly teddy bear Barney (that's what you call him in your head) was over a cup of coffee as he vetted your skills at managing some books.

A few weeks in and you got the hang of it just fine, bringing some much needed order in this ground zero he called business. Most of the time you stayed to yourself, a choice of yours, just in case. And some good portion of the time you could have sworn Barney tried his best to keep you from interacting with he guys, or the other way around, you're not completely sure yet.

It was now 4.30PM and you were almost done for the day, just compiling the last bits of a file to be handed over to the IRS first thing in the morning. You were also glad that Barney told you the guys would be here after lunch, packing for a mission and due for takeoff at 5PM.

You decided to wait it out.

The day's hard work staring at papers and the computer screen quickly caught up with you, eyes burning with exhaustion. Pinching the bridge of your nose and closing your eyes, you let out a big sigh. That though, was abruptly replaced by a stiff feeling of urgency. "Oh shit." you muttered as your eyes landed on the very bottom of the tax form in front of you.

This one required Barney's signature or else you'd both be screwed.

You practically jumped out of your chair, knocked over the pencil case and albeit kicked the trash can trying to get to the window displaying the hangar below.

A sigh of relief. They're still here.

And now the hard part. You actually have to walk out there, heels, dress and everything, in front of the boys to get the boss' sign-off.

"Just breathe."

"You can do it. It's no biggie. It's just some boys, that's all." you told yourself as a desperate attempt at hyping yourself up.

With the time ticking, you made your way down the metal stairs to the hangar floor, the clicking of your heels resounding through the large space.

You saw them all turn towards the sound, baffled by it in such a place. Face set and papers in hand you pretended not to notice the stares, the elbow bumps they exchanged, and the shift in energy as you made a beeline towards the man himself.

"Barney, I need these papers signed right now, unless you want to get fined by the IRS." You could bet your voice was notably shaky and all you could think about was how badly you just wanna get this over with.

Meanwhile, Barney turned around as though he had all the time in the world, gave a calm "yes, ma'am" and took the papers from you at snail's pace, finally singing the damn thing.

As soon as he handed them back, you spun on your heels and without glancing anywhere else, you made your way back to the office with a brisk walk.

Once out of their view, you felt the energy shift again as commotion rose up; the clanking and clicking of guns and ammo boxes being loaded up on the plane bringing a familiar wave of calm.

You heard the plane's engines roar to life and in a minute they were gone.

-----

As the plane rose to a comfortable altitude, Barney heard a snicker from the man in the co-pilot's seat. When he looked over though, he was met with the boyish excitement and tight lips of Lee Christmas trying hard to keep his laughter in.

"What?"

Lee barely got the words out before he burst out into a bellowing laugh.

"Didn't think bossy was your type."

At that, Barney felt a heat rise up to his ears and he couldn't help the bashful smile that stretched over his features.

[vorishmulti]

So imagine Rocky just noms you, right? It’s an accident because he probably eats in his sleep so he literally just swallows you whole while asleep. He panics of course but hearing you pay no mind as you are,,well,, asleep, kinda makes him calm down and rub his belly.

But now imagine Barney jealously nomming you so he can have you all to himself. He would literally do it in front of the person too, I’m deadass serious about this lmaoo

“They’re mine, dipshit-“ is basically what he’s saying lol

[cova-lynn-reighn]

All I wanted: Part II {And you know we're on each other's team}

Siren’s POV

You can survive anything, absolutely anything, if you convince your mind the pain is nothing compared to what is really killing you. Most people don’t understand that. How can that even work, if the worst pain you are feeling is it? It can’t possibly work unless it’s being compared to another. But isn’t it always? A great trick to enduring pain is to believe you deserve it deep down to your very core. It doesn’t have to be true, it just has to be true to you. That is the fun thing about trauma, it’s easy to manipulate. 

I’m not afraid. Not when my arms are pulled roughly behind my back, or when the zip ties grip my wrists and ankles cutting skin, even with the duck tape covering my mouth, I almost feel bored. But, we haven’t even gotten to the exciting part, when they lie me down, adding the weight to my stomach using rope to keep it secure, then they lift me.

‘1,2,3.’ they count before throwing me into the ice bath.

I keep my eyes open for just a moment, soak it in, and see their faces hovering above me. And just like that, it passes, my eyes close, and my breathing slows. 

Like a movie the scenes play so perfectly in my head.

His grip stings, leaving bruises in their wake, nothing left but shreds of my clothes, his stale breath lingers on my skin, tying my ankles to the bed posts to keep my legs open, his laugh is a vile crime as he hovers over me, taking his time to violate me over and over again, the searing tearing pain, brings tears to my eyes, stifling a sob, afraid of angering him further. I can’t keep my body from shaking, as my body is no longer mine, the things he does to me are unspeakable… god I wish I could forget them, if I cannot say it, then it mustn’t be left embedded deep in my mind and soul. 

Intense excruciating pain runs through my veins like a bad drug. I can feel my pulse is low, my body heavy with weight. It doesn’t matter, the pain carries far more strength. 

Rolling my shoulders forward brings my arms to my front, as I pull my knees to my chest, yanking my arms and legs out a few times, to break free of the weight and zip ties, I rip the duct tape of my mouth, and like that I am free.

I only wish I could be freed of the darkness inside of me that easily.

As easy as it is to turn it on, you’d think I could turn it off just like that, right?

Nope, not even a little bit. I am so zoned out, I don’t remember swimming to the surface, not them excited about my time. I didn’t even realize I was shivering, my skin blue. I was falling down the rabbit hole.

‘Siren!’ unknown to me. I lift up my head, to see him, and just like that, like a rewind button, I am free from the rabbit hole. And that’s when I see my brother, Billy, standing next to the man with brown eyes I am already lost in.

‘Billy!’ I shriek running into his arms.

‘Hey! Hey! You are all wet!’ he cries, hugging me anyway.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘What? I can’t come see my little sis?’

I pull away, raising a brow.

‘You see me almost every Sunday.’

‘I miss you alright.’ he shrugs.

‘Hahaha. You miss me so much you had to bring a friend.’

He steps back, embarrassed, ‘Of course, I apologize. This is Barney Ross. He’s my boss.’

I mock the salute, ‘Barney Ross Boss, pleased to meet you.’

Billy turns bright red. ‘I am so sorry. She was dropped on her head as a baby.’

Barney only laughs. ‘Relax.’

‘Yeah, Billy, relax.’

‘Do you have time to talk?’ he asks, turning serious.

‘Anything for you big bro. Give me a minute to clean up, and I am all yours.’

Time Skip:

Her eyes bare into Billy’s unsure what to think of his prospect. 

‘Why me?’ she finally asks, turning to me.

‘I’ve seen your file, it’s impressive, we could use someone of your expertise.’  I tell her honestly.

Her eyes crinkle for a moment before widening again. ‘You have plenty of expertise, far more than mine, what you really need is someone who isn’t afraid to die, you need recklessness.’

‘Si, don’t be like that.’

‘Hush, big brother, the adults are talking.’ she snaps leaning forward. ‘I get it, it sounds like a killer job, I’m all about taking down bad guys, but really be honest, what could I possibly have that your team doesn’t?’

‘Relentless. From what I have gathered, you orchestrate anything to your favor, you clearly will not take any other outcome then what you want. I need someone so relentless, they never lose. That’s you.’

She smiles, revealing a smiley piercing. ‘I like you already, Boss.’ she winks at me. ‘When do I start.’

Time Skip

Barney POV

‘Billy the Kid, Siren listen up.’

‘Yeah?’ we reply in unison.

‘Today's your lucky day.You get to take point.’

‘My pleasure, sir.’

‘Barney Ross Boss.’ I salute.

I can’t help but smile at her, watching her climb quickly up the mountain.

‘Remember when you could do that?’ Lee asks in awe.

‘No, do you?’

‘I could blow 'im away, if I needed to.’

‘Really? Look down.’

 He looks down.

‘You see what I see? Short legs.’

‘A thousand bucks you can't catch 'im.

Go on, Flash.’

‘I'm a little busy.’

’Are you?’

‘Found the wreck

at the bottom of the hill, sir.’

‘Slow it down, will you two? You're makin' us look bad.’

’Say it again, over?’ Siren asks. 

‘You heard.’

‘Roger that Barney Ross Boss,  Slowin' it down.’

‘We appreciate it.’

‘Rest o' the plane's over the hill, sir’.

‘Good work, guys.’

‘Looks like somebody had a bad day.’

‘You guys go to the right.’

‘Take off, Rover.’

‘A'it, Billy, Siren.

You get a vantage point up there.’

‘There's fur in their hands.’

‘These guys were alive

until the wolves got to 'em.’

‘Be careful.’

‘Is this it?’

‘Yes, it's here.’

‘Caesar! I need you in here.’

Caesar, grab a hold of this thing.

I think it's spring-loaded.

‘Lee, hook it on.’

‘Now, on the count of three,

let's pull it back.’

‘Ready?’

‘One... two... three.’

‘We can't hold this.’

‘You have to.’

‘Come on, Maggie!’

‘Something's wrong.’

‘What?’

‘The explosive timer's triggered.’

‘How long?’

‘ Fifty-four seconds!’

‘If we leave now, we'll make it.’

’Maggie, let it go!’

‘No, I can do it!’

‘Come on, Maggie!’

‘Man, what's goin' on?’

‘She tripped the detonator.

Stay back!’

‘I'm losin' my grip!’

‘You do, she's cut in half.’

‘Come on, Maggie!

‘Got it!’

‘Yeah, lucky I was here.’

‘Just thinkin' that.’

‘I'm sorry.

It's important I get this.’

‘You got guts. No common sense.

But guts. C'mon.’

‘It's all right. We got it.

Let's go. You're strong.’

‘Billy, Siren! Come on down.

We're outta here.’

‘What happened?’

‘That woman is crazy,

but I got a good pump.’

‘Aren't you curious

about what's inside the case?’

‘Nah, I just wanna get Church

off our back.’

Billy the Kid! Siren!

Where the hell  are they? Billy! Siren!

‘Drop your weapons!’

‘No way.’

‘It ain't happenin'.’

‘No?’

‘Are you sure?

‘I'm sorry, boss.

They were waitin'. Siren’s eyes flicker over to Billy full of concern.

‘Drop the weapons now.’

‘Don't do it.’ they snarl together.

‘Aren’t you both strong soldiers?’

‘Let's see how strong they are.’

‘Do it.’ again they say together.

‘No!’

‘Oh-ho-ho!’

‘Don't do nothin' he says!’

‘Don't talk.’

‘You should not speak.’

‘I'm gonna kill 'im’.

‘When I fire,

his head... will be gone.’

Siren fights against their hold on her. ‘Fuck you.’

 He hits her in the face with the butt of his gun. ‘Three seconds.’

She spits blood out of her mouth. ‘Don't give your weapons.

You don't owe us anything!’ she cries.

‘One.’

‘Two.’

‘Don't do this!

They'll kill everyone!’ Billy shouts.

‘He's gonna kill 'im.’

‘Et numero trois…’

‘Drop 'em!’

‘I'm impressed.

Very good use of intelligence.’

‘Everybody stay calm, we'll be done soon

and then we'll be on our way.’

‘Bring me that knife.’

‘What's this symbol?’

‘I like symbol.’

‘This is the symbol of the goat.’

‘The pet of Satan…

they say.

You have a case that belongs to me.’

‘Does it?’

‘Yes, like your lives.’

‘It was lost. He doesn't have it.’

‘Last time the case,

or you will force me

to cut...

his heart... out. And I’ll take the girl with me for some fun time before I do the same to her.’

‘Do it, you piece o' shit.’ rolling her eyes at him.

‘Wait!’

‘Let me have it.’

‘Hey!’

‘ You talkin' to me?’

‘Pick it up.’

‘Hand it to me.’

;Go get it yourself.’

‘What was that?’

‘You heard.

Now pick it up,

hand it to me nicely,

or you'll get what she got.’

‘Do it, Lee.’

‘You'll be all right, you two.’

‘Respect is everything.

Without respect, we're just people.

Common, shitty people.’

‘I'm sorry, sir.’

‘You have nothing to be sorry for.’ Siren tells him.

‘It's not your fault.’ I tell the both of them.

‘Now what?’

‘We're both fighting men.

And I respect that.

And fighting men...

they don't deserve

to be killed like sheep.

But...

respect...

must be taught.

Lie down with your face

on the ground until we leave.

Don't challenge me.

Get down.

Are you afraid of me?’ he asks Billy.

‘No. I'm not.’

‘You should be.’

‘ I'm dyin'.

‘Don't talk, Billy.’

‘Cut his hands loose!’

‘The letter.

In my pocket.’

‘A'it, kid. I got it.

I got it.’

‘I'm so sorry.’

‘I believe you.’

You hear it first then you feel it. First we hear the bullet shoot from the gun ripping into Billy’s chest. Then we hear the most bloodcurdling scream any of us have ever heard. Siren’s screaming is beyond heartbreaking as she fights against them trying to reach Billy.

They let her go, as she runs to Billy.

She holds Billy in her arms, tears pouring down her porcelain cheeks.

‘Please don’t go. Please don’t go.’ She cries over and over again, her hands quickly covered in his blood. ‘I’ll do anything. I’ll stop using, I’ll try that vegan place you always bug me about, or I’ll paint your living room that ugly blue. Just please don’t die.’

‘Grab her now. Lets go. I’ve been nice enough today.’

They grab her harshly. Throwing her over on of their shoulders.

‘No!’ I shout.

Her hazel eyes bare into mine as the helicopter flies away. And like that Billy is dead. Siren is taken. And we have a hell of a mess on our hands.

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Prompt challenge # 3

(Gunnar Jensen X Reader)

Pictures and Gif NOT mine. (All found on Pinterest.)

Gif credit goes to - Unknown.

Year posted - 2021

Tag(s) - @joikima-joestar

----

Two weeks, two whole weeks! That's how long Gunnar and (Y/n) had been flirting back and forth nonstop. Driving the rest of the team absolutely insane. And as if on queue when (Y/n) walked into the room, that predictable smirk stretched across Gunnars face, the guys that noticed rolled their eyes in annoyance. "You look sad." Gunnar called out to (Y/n), who froze in her tracks, looking at Gunnar with a confused frown. "You look like you could use a shoulder to put your legs on." He chuckled when she smiled at his comment, understanding where this was going. "You know around 14 men a year are suffocated to death, by women riding their face." (Y/n) placed her hands on her hips, sauntering over to Gunnar, tilting his head back to look into his eyes with her pointer finger. "How would you like to be one of those lucky men?" She smirked with a wink, a giggle passing her lips when he practically growled in response, taking ahold of her hips between his large hands. "Oh enough already, get a room and get it over with. We're all sick of listening to you two." Barney called out as he sat his pistol aside, unable to continue cleaning the gun while they were flirting like teens. "Well if the boss insists." (Y/n) shrugged her shoulders, before placing herself in Gunnars lap. "Let's go big guy." She cooed with a smirk, giggling with how quickly he stood up, wrapping her arms and legs securely around his body. "With pleasure." Gunnar mused with a grin, his hands holding her up by her ass. The rest of the guys laughing at the pair, happy that the two would finally stop flirting, and get over their childish foreplay. Totally obvious to the fact that just because they're finally fucking, doesn't mean they'll stop their incessant flirting.

----

*I might extend this further, you know add all that good stuff! 😉

[one-boring-person]

Hi I was wondering if you could do a oneshot of Barney from expendables taking his pregnant wife to go see the gang at the park

I hope you like this and I'm sorry for the wait!

Old Fool.

Barney Ross (The Expendables) x reader

Warnings: swearing

Masterlist

“Where the hell is Barney? He organised this damn thing.” Gunnar growls in irritation as he downs another can of soda, looking at the can in disgust, “And why the fuck are we drinking this shit?”

Casting amused glances at each other, the rest of the team watch as the disgruntled Swede cracks open yet another can, sipping from their own as they wait for their leader to arrive. Thankfully, the weather is nice, so the four of them are left sitting in a relatively sunny spot, feeling warm and mostly content...apart from Gunnar, who would rather be out doing god knows what. Barney had asked them a couple of weeks ago to go to this particular park near his home today, and had made a point of reinforcing the date multiple times since. Unfortunately for Gunnar, the time of the meeting is mid-morning, so far too early to drink any alcohol for any good reason, especially in public, leaving them all with hastily cooled sodas. 

“He’s late.” Lee shrugs, sitting back in his seat, smirking as the tall blonde turns on him.

“Yeah, no shit.” He retorts, grumbling something about the British always pointing out the obvious. 

“There’s probably a good reason.” Toll tries to reason, Caesar nodding his agreement. 

“There better be.” Gunnar grouches, busying himself with his can, until Lee suddenly sits upright, almost choking on a sip of coke.

“What the...” He frowns, squinting at a point in the distance, the others all following his gaze. 

The others have similar reactions, eyes widening in surprise, brows furrowing in confusion as they catch sight of their leader walking up the path...with a woman in tow.

It’s all they can do not to stare at her as Barney leads her towards his friends, a hand placed on her back, keeping her close to him, though Lee notices the slight hesitation in his stride as he nears. She’s a beautiful woman, they all agree, but what surprises and shocks them the most is the small but not unnoticeable swelling of her stomach, a roundness not found in weight problems. Gunnar’s can falls to the floor as he sees this, the Swede hastily bending to pick it up again before Barney gets too close. 

“Afternoon, Barney.” Lee greets as the two approach, lifting his bottle slightly in greeting, “Didn’t know you were bringing company. I would’ve dressed up.”

In response, Barney shifts slightly, an odd look on his face as he speaks.

“Hey, guys.” He nods at them, before helping his friend step forwards, “II wanted to introduce her to you all. This is (Y/n). My...girlfriend. (Y/n), this is Lee, Caesar, Toll and Gunnar.”

It’s silent for a long moment, before Lee, Caesar and Toll stand up, moving forward to shake (Y/n)’s hand. 

“Nice to meet you all.” She smiles pleasantly, shaking their hands firmly as she looks at them all, remaining close to Barney. 

It takes Gunnar a moment, but he eventually joins them in standing, taking her proffered hand with a flabbergasted expression. 

“You never told us you had a girlfriend.” He mutters to Barney, cocking his head to the side as he returns to his seat with the others, watching as his leader helps his girlfriend onto a chair of her own. 

“No, I, err, didn’t know how you guys would react.” Barney rubs the back of his neck, chuckling humorlessly. 

“Why?” Lee questions, blunt as always.

Barney looks at (Y/n) briefly, before sighing and continuing to speak.

"Because of my age. Let's be honest, how many sixty-year-olds have pregnant girlfriends? I reckon you could count on one hand. I thought you might find it weird, or something. I don't know, I'm no good with words." The mercenary explains haltingly, frowning a little.

"When in the fuck have we ever showed any interest in your personal life?" Caesar bursts out after a moment, grinning as he says it. 

"Yeah, Barney, none of us could give a toss that you've got a girlfriend who's younger than you. If anything, we're happy that you're finally not the sad old loner in the bar anymore." Lee lifts his bottle, smirking at his leader.

Blinking, Barney sits back in his seat, confused by the reaction until Toll leans forwards and emphasises the point.

"Barney, we're happy for you." He smiles, winking at him as Gunnar agrees, somewhat grudgingly. 

"See, I told you." (Y/n) ribs Barney, nudging him with her elbow as she grins and laughs at his bewildered expression, "You've known these guys for far too fucking long to be getting worried about their opinion of a girl."

At her words, Lee gives her an appreciative glance and nods, sensing a pointed look at Barney.

"See? Even she knows you're an old fool." He quips, chuckling.

"Old fool? How many times has this old fool gotten your asses out of trouble, hm?" Barney grins, "I guess you're right. I am a bit of a fool."

"Yeah, but we all love you." (Y/n) reassures him, rolling her eyes playfully as the guys make sounds of mocking disagreement, "Wow, some friends you have!" 

-

Tag List - @posionivy0061 @feirceangel @slystallone @80s4life

[80s4life]

The Things I Feel For You

Word Count: 1,349

Status: Requested!

Ask: "Hey! Could you write number 15 on the Fluff Prompts list for Barney Ross please? hope you're doing well!" - @one-boring-person

Fandom: The Expendables 2010-2014 {1-3}

A/N: This was very fun for me! Now I know why people use prompts! It gives you something to work towards, doing whatever just to make that one sentence click! I appreciate every prompt maker lol!

Relationship: Barney Ross x Reader

Summary: After a long mission, the team parties off all of the month-long-jitters. But, with the fuse of alcohol and strong feelings, the drunk host speaks the sober truth, the reader and Barney finally revealing things they've kept under hard wraps, some things their field of work may call a weakness. And weaknesses are dangerous, or are they?

Warnings: language, alcohol consumption, partying like crazies, fluff, sexual themes (mentioned, not actually in here), Christmas being a child, the GROUP being children

Masterlist The Expendables Masterlist

Prompts: #15 (from this list @waiting-for-motivation)

15: "I'm asking because I've seen the way you look at me."

{I do not own the prompts, credits to original owners above, nor do I own the gif below -> @slystallone}

{God damn! Sorry, this gif tho}

Flying head first into the cabin of the aircraft, I crash right into Gunnar, the broad Swede quickly grabbing my waist on instinct, just as a bomb and multiple rounds of ammunition are fired in futile attempts of subduing us. Quickly pushing past us, Barney quickly glances at us as he and Christmas charge to the front of the plane, starting the engine and pulling out as quickly as possible.

As for the rest of the team, Toll and Yin Yang protect the rampart of the bridge as the door pulls up to a close. All the while Caesar checks his bag, securing the sole purpose of our mission, all the stolen goods accounted for. With a sharp nod, we all take a collective sigh of relief, knowing we had done well once again, knowing we are gonna hear shit from Barney, but not as much this time 'round.

As the plane is led safely out of danger, all we have left is ample free-time as we wait for the long ride home. Gunnar, making note of this, pulls his flask from his chest pouch, walking over to the radio, putting it on full-blast. Caesar, not one to miss a party, hops up to grab himself a shot of whiskey, joining Gunnar on the first shot of the night.

I giggle, nudging Yin Yang, "This is gonna be a long night."

He just grimaces, knowing the extent of my words. Last time, we had gotten so trashed, Gunnar and Caesar became male strippers, Yin Yang became the Keg Drinking King, Barney has painting pictures with the ashes of his cigars against the walls of the plane, Christmas had left only about a dozen phone calls to Lacy, and Toll had been found laying naked on top of the plane the next morning. Given, we had luckily been home before the party had started, hidden in the shadows of the warehouse, Tool also attending that time.

However, that was one of the last parties he had attended afterwards, having given himself a horrible, unstable handiwork of a dick on his thigh. I guess he had thought it was the most intricate design yet though, as I had recalled bits and pieces of that night, him being drunkenly pleased with himself. He was less than pleased when he awoke that next day.

"We deserve it. Besides, how bad could we possibly get this time? It can't be any worse than before," Toll adds, handing us each a beer, leaving shortly after to hand the new arrivals, Barney and Christmas, a drink of their own as well.

Christmas all but laughs, already watching as Barney goes to get the keg out of the closet, knowing damn well how this night's gonna play out. Yin Yang nods approvingly, not going to let anyone beat his new record of 2 minutes.

This had surprised me as we were both around the same height, him being similar in size and weight as myself, both being light-weights in a group of drunkards. In our defense, we were smaller in comparison compared to the rest of the muscular 5'10" and up men. Drinking came easy for them, Yin Yang and I having to watch ourselves as the alcohol hits us the worst and quickest.

I, however, did not take this mental note seriously as, about an hour and a half in, I was already more than buzzed. In a giddy mood like this, my mind tends to wander to the one person that makes me feel special, Barney.

Looking around the room, I realize he isn't anywhere in sight. Taking this as a sign, I make my way silently to the cockpit, avoiding the men in the middle of a poker and drinking game full of laughter, punches, and teasing.

Toll gives me a look of appreciation and an "I know what you know" kinda look, making me blush crimson. He was always good with the women, something I will never let his pride get a hold of, stating the fact very often to the group of mercenaries.

I take a seat in the co-pilots chair, Christmas' usual throne, just missing Barney's sideways glance. I instantly know what's going on, him going through his moods every now and then. Something's making him overthink, plaguing his mind, and making it uneasy for him to enjoy the party in full swing behind him.

"What's up Old Man? You've got that look on your face again," I say easily, looking out the window in front of me.

"Nothin', just shit...as usual," his natural husky voice grunts, deeming his side window more interesting than the person on the opposite side, trying to ease his mind.

"Well if it's nothin' then why are you acting like a stubborn asshole? C'mon Barn, I've known ya' long enough now to know your thinkin' of something," I muse, trying to coax him into letting go and confiding in me.

Sighing, he turns his head to the front, gazing out into the blank space, mumbling, "Are ya' int' me Kid?"

Taken aback, I blush furiously, now being the one avoiding eye contact and looking out the side window. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm asking because I've seen the way you look at me. It makes me think things, messes with my mind...makes me hope," he almost whispers the last bit, just barely catching my line of hearing.

I can't help but gasp lightly, noticing the alarm in his features as he'd hoped I didn't hear the ass-end of the sentence at all. He's into me. And I'm into him. This shit's nuts.

With little confidence, I turn my whole body in his direction, the same as he had. I take on of his hands, bundled together as he had been anxiously cracking them, playing with his fingers and marveling at how small mine are in comparison.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm into you, and I've thought everything over, trust me. Your age doesn't bother a thing at all, I never really minded it honestly. I just want you," I say, forcing myself to meet his gaze with every word, wanting him to know the sheer weight and sincerity behind them.

He's the one to take a sharp gasp now, not expecting the answer I'd given to him just now. His eyes skim my face and features admiringly, never in a million years seeing himself right here, right now.

"Well good. 'Cause I feel the same and it'd be a damn shame if this shit was one-sided," he teases lightly, pulling my chin upwards to meet his gaze once more.

Giggling, I indulge in the moment as I press my lips to his lightly, sealing the bond we've longed to share. Him quickly deepening it, pulling me as close as possible, my body straddling his waist now. I moan out a feeling pleasure as he bites lightly on my lower lip, teeth clashing.

We quickly break apart, however, as Christmas screeches like a little girl, running back to the group, yelling something like, "Guys! They're together!" Followed by laughter and cheers as Barney and I, now greatly embarrassed, shuffle into the doorway, some of my lipstick smearing both of our faces.

Barney quickly recovers, "What? Why you all starin' like you haven't seen two people together before? You guys are children, I swear," he muses lightly.

Giggling flow in the room once more, Caesar motioning to his lips, Barney following suit and looking at his fingers. The red shade coating the pads. He's the one laughing now, looking at my smeared complexion, his fingers, and his own face as Toll tosses him a small, hand-held mirror.

"Fuck you," is all Barney says, laughter flooding his very being, now contagious as I have to give in as well, knowing we've been caught.

All I do is give the group the bird playfully, leading Barney back into the cockpit, locking the door behind us. "So, where were we?"

[ficmesideways]

Request for Anonymous Gif Source: Barney

Imagine being Barney's girlfriend and telling him that you're pregnant

------- Imagine -------

You had sat watching as Barney had gotten his tattoo from Tool, worry tightening your belly the whole time. Although outwardly you appeared calm when Tool put the finishing touches on the ink your belly tightened hard at the thought of the conversation you were about to have. When Barney stood n front of the mirror to check the work you motioned for Tool to give you some privacy. The older man stood and left the room as you stood and leaned against the backs of one of the chairs.

“Barney do you think we could talk?” You asked as he turned away from the mirror to look at you.

“Sure,” he said moving to put on his shirt before he noticed your face, “something wrong?”

“Well not wrong exactly, but there is something important we need to talk about.”

“Ok, shoot.” He said giving a small comforting grin before finally donning his shirt and sitting in the chair opposite you.

‘Fuck it’ you decided, you were tired of being the only one knowing, the only one worrying, and his calm demeanor was starting to grate on you despite his not knowing. So, you just blurted it out, “Barney, I’m pregnant!” You all but yelled in his face. Granted not the most eloquent ways to tell the father of your child, but there it was. The relief you felt in telling him made you slump against the chair and giggle a little but looking up at his face you noticed your relief was not shared. He was staring at you mouth agape in shock. “Surprise?” You said quietly watching him carefully before his mouth finally settled into a large grin.

“I guess we better go tell Christmas he’s going to be a godfather.” He said smiling even brighter as he stood and took you hands. “I am happy by the way, so you can stop making such a sour face.”

You rolled you eyes and punched him in the arm before leaning into him. “You try keeping a secret this big from you and the team and see how you feel.” You joked as you both walked toward the bar where the team was gathered.

[andrew2luv]

CHOOSE A ONE SHOT!!!!! I will write one of these pairings… whichever gets the most voted in 24 hours gets the one shot!!!!