#Banana Flour Market

[presidentkamala]

Financially devastated at the farmers market again lads

7 dollar eggs BUT THEY ARE SO good and i get a dozen for abt 2 weeks' worth of eating so its really 3.50/week if u think abt it like that makes it any better lmao

Got the cutest tiniest little brie wheel (and a chive&garlic cheese spread) from a very nice cow and goat dairy :) for. 15 dollars LOL (but its like i am happy to pay a premium for happy well taken care of cows and goats!!!! Actually!!!!)

Trying out some Evercrisp apples which are supposed to be a mix of fuji and honeycrisp apples hohohoho (they narrowly beat out the Ludacrisp apples i was going to try solely bc of the name lmao) and ofc had to get some cider too

And then this is where we get to the inexplicable TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS FOR 4 TYPES OF MICROGREENS except i was trying like 17 samples and they were all amazing the leek, wasabi, & sunflower stood out but i also got some pea shoots and now im on the hook for what looks like a small forest of expensive grass. And the vendor kept them in the coconut husk or whatever their bedding in as well so they should also stay good for a couple of weeks?? Is there an upper limit to how many you're allowed to eat in a day??? Siri can i die of microgreen poisoning

Unrelated to the farmers market but i had a great time using up a lot of fridge/pantry items making some banana chocolate muffins and then a quick brunch this morning - the last of the bananas, eggs, cottage cheese, maple syrup, AND oat flour got used up zero waste queen etc etc

Going to my parent's house later today but for now im just puttering around and cleaning etc.

[chimcess]

Birdie Shoppe || pjm (VI)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Werewolf!Jimin, Witch!Reader, Shifter!Reader, Shifter!Jimin, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha!Jimin Genre: Supernatural!AU, Werewolf!AU, Angst, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Smut, Word Count: 5.5k Synopsis: Within the four realms of Lustra lay the Bangtan forest home to the Foxglove pack of the north and known as the “land of magic.” It is also home to the Birdie, a powerful witch from a cursed bloodline who is one of the sacred guardians of the forest. Y/N is the 123rd Birdie, a young girl who was given her position too early and asked by the goddess herself to fulfil a task none had ever done before- become the Grand Witch of the Foxglove pack. Now a woman, Y/N is revered as the most loved and powerful Birdie of all time, but hiding under the surface is a woman who has to battle between her duty and her heart. Warnings: Long-hair Jimin (yes, this is a warning), Cursing, ANGST, Crying, Heartbreak, kissing, tongue kissing, Tae is my sweet baby boy and I love him, pretty tame chapter... hope you’re happy... LOL (sorry in advance) A/N: Another fast update. I’m on a roll! This one was a super fun write for me- especially the end. I hope you all enjoy it! Thank you so much❤️❤️❤️

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“Y/N,” Auntie whispered, her fingers running through my hair.

The sun had just begun to rise, the sky was still purple, and I struggled to open my eyes. Stirring, I moaned and rubbed my face. My eyes continued drooping closed and I yawned loudly.

Aldara chuckled, “Wake up, sleepy head. I want to make breakfast together.”

Shaking my head, I flipped over the pancake. In the dining room, Taehyung, Jimin, and the witches were talking about the best fishing spots in Bangtan. Seokjin and Yoongi had decided to drop in this morning, and while I did not get a reason for the sudden visit, I assumed it had something to do with Wendy. Seokjin had seemed surprised about the wolves and asked if we could speak privately after everyone had eaten. I heard Taehyung asking how vegan pancakes tasted good and I laughed.

I had started a vegetarian diet after Aldara died. It was nearly impossible to get meat when I was unable to leave my home. I cut out animal products completely four years ago after I got closer with the animals in the area. It felt wrong to eat someone I could have known. 

“They’re not that different from ‘normal’ ones,” I answered. “I just use oat flour, bananas, and flaxseeds mixed with water. Everything else is the same.”

I could not see the face the alpha made, but I knew it was similar to disgust. Taehyung emoted the same for several emotions. Confusion, disgust, and anger were all similar enough to take a guess. Yoongi laughed and it made me smile. The two of us were the most similar in terms of lifestyle choices, but he ate fish with Seokjin from time-to-time. 

“Why would you mix flax seeds and water together?” Taehyung asked, his bewilderment coating his tongue. 

Grabbing a plate, I flipped the fresh pancake onto my small stack before heading over to the table. Various jars of preserves and marmalades were out along with Yoongi’s homemade syrup he had sent to me. While I had always enjoyed honey on my pancakes and toast, after cutting out animal products, I started mixing and matching to find something I liked more. Peanut butter and banana slices have not been topped by anything else. However, I had used all of my bananas making breakfast and had to settle for syrup.

“It replaces the egg,” I explained. “You mix it with the banana and let it sit for a few minutes to thicken up. It’s something our friend Hyun-jin taught me. He lives in Moland and doesn’t get access to the market very often.”

“How do you get things from the market?” Jimin asked.

“I go very often,” Seokjin replied. “I always get things for Yoongi and Birdie when I go. Yoongi does the same as well.”

I hummed and nodded. “I have great friends.”

After breakfast, Yoongi invited the boys to go on a walk with him in the forest. Taehyung had brought up his new found interest in the beings that lived in Bangtan, and the witch had offered to show him a jackalope borough a few minutes away. Jimin offered to go so he could keep an eye on Taehyung. I knew they could handle themselves but I assumed Jimin wanted to give Seokjin and I space after the solar witch declined the offer. After they left, I began picking up the dishes with Seokjin’s help.

We worked quietly for a time. I washed while he dried. I knew whatever he wanted to say was on the tip of his tongue, his constant opening and closing of his mouth making that known, but I stayed patient. Jin was hesitating which was strange for him but I knew he was trying to collect his thoughts. Wendy threw him off kilter often and all of us were friends so it made talking openly challenging. Yoongi had the same problem but would only come alone if he needed to vent. Hyun-Jin was always his first pick since he was far removed from the forest.

After the dishes were done, I began to wipe down the table and put away the toppings. Seokjin lingered but did not help with this. Instead, he put away the dishes. It took a few more minutes before he spoke.

“Wendy wrote to me,” He said.

I hummed. I did not want to talk about her letter to me yet. I tried to respect privacy as much as possible and kept a lot to myself. We were all too close for comfort at times and overzealous. Wendy was the worst with this and Jin was unable to keep his mouth shut for forever, and so I tried to be someone reliable. Yoongi was better than I was but that was because he never gave much thought to other people. Their problems were not his and therefore did not truly matter.

“She said she wants to be with me.”

“Well,” I sighed. “How do you feel about that?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s… complicated.”

Lifting myself onto the kitchen island, I nodded. 

“I’m sure I can keep up.”

“For as long as I’ve known her, I’ve liked her to some capacity. She’s never really liked me in the same way, at least, not as much as I liked her.” He reasoned. And that was true. 

Wendy had always looked the other way, said one thing and did another, and never truly opened her heart to him properly. Sure, she admitted that she liked him but would run after Yoongi when given the chance. At first, I thought Seokjin was reading too much into things, but when I stopped to think about it, he was right to be upset. Wendy placed Yoongi on a pedestal and often ignored how much she hurt everyone else in the process. Even Yoongi. 

“I knew she meant it when she said she liked me,” He continued. “I knew that she had feelings and affections, but the second she saw him it was like we were twelve again. How can I know she’s serious this time? She’s been away, hasn’t seen anyone in months, and decides she is in love with me. What about when she sees Yoongi again? Will it still be true?”

I felt sorry for Jin. He’s never looked away from Wendy, much like Wendy was never able to fully look away from Yoongi. I knew his heart was genuine, but I was also aware of how sheltered he was. Bangtan was secluded and meeting others was difficult. I was not sure if his want for Wendy would be the same if he realized that the world was much broader than this forest. Still, I was not foolish enough to think that telling someone that there were more fish in the sea would be helpful.

“I don’t want to get hurt again,” He whispered.

“I know,” I replied. “I wouldn’t want that either.”

“How can I trust her words?”

I shook my head. “I… I’m not sure. I’ve always thought you two were just stubborn. I can see how much you both care, but I’m not okay with the toxicity. As much as I want the both of you to be happy, preferably together, I can’t stand the tension. 

“I think you should try it out- if you want to. See what happens. Maybe seeing her sister getting married changed something for her, or the time away- I don’t know. I do know that if you’re coming to me then that means she said something that sat with you. I would think about that and your own feelings.”

“She said that she loves me,” He muttered after a long moment of silence. “She said that after you two spoke- thank you by the way, that she felt more confident to talk to me. It was the first time I felt her apology was genuine.”

I nodded. “It felt that way for me, too.”

We had a long stretch of silence, the two of us just looking at one another, before Jin looked down. With a deep sigh, he ruffled his hair before asking to borrow a paper and pen from me. He knew where everything was so it was an easy yes. I was no more sure of what was to come than before, but hoped whatever it may be that my friends would be happy.

He sent off his letter soon after. I had started sweeping and making a schedule for the day in my head. There was a lot that I needed to get done. My absence had caused a large supply chain blockage to the sea coven and I needed to get on it right away. Shiloh was asleep, her schedule still recovering from her trip, but I would wake her up to make the delivery later. No one else lived close enough to justify the trip and with Wendy still gone I had no one to send it to magically. After some more thinking, I asked Jin if he could write Cordelia and ask if anyone would be willing to pick up the supplies. He agreed easily and got to work.

It was a rare moment of silence with the solar witch. I knew his mind was all over the place, and his anxieties were not helping the matter one bit. I feared the worst but knew he would speak to me about it when he was ready. I would give him his quiet.

“I rejected her,” He finally said, voice cracking.

“Oh, Jinnie,” I cooed, putting my broom down and gathering him in my arms. That was a hard thing for him to do. I was proud of him for doing what was best for him, even if I was hoping my friends could make it work for both of their sake. “I’m so sorry.”

He sobbed, “I can’t do it again, B. I just can’t.”

And I understood. I would deal with Wendy later, her own emotions probably bubbling over. I was sure Jin had alluded to being friends, keeping in contact- something that would give her hope like she had done so many times before. I knew he meant it and wanted the four of us to be like we were. I was no fool to think it would actually happen. Too much had been done and said for anything to be the same as it was. Still, I hope with time we could grow together. I loved my friends dearly and hoped we could spend Yule together like we had when we were young. 

“I know. I know,” I whispered, rubbing his back.

Jin held me tightly and cried.

Over the next three days, Jimin and Taehyung started to venture out of the house more often. I had not heard from Wendy or Jin, but Yoongi wrote daily to make sure that I was alright. He was worried I would get another unexpected visit from the wolves. I was not sure if that was the case, but I was prepared to speak to someone eventually. I had a feeling Hoseok was staying away in order to keep the peace. When Jimin and I spoke about him it seemed like he was trying to make Namjoon change his mind. So far that had not been the case. Taehyung was becoming more resolute to the possibility of a fight and had been training with Jimin for when the time came.

Shiloh had woken up earlier and earlier over the course of the last few days. Not as early as I was used to, but I would take noon over eleven at night. Taehyung and Jimin were still getting used to my late mornings. After staying up well into the night I was not out of bed unless absolutely necessary. My magic was stronger than it had been but I could feel my body was still adjusting. Ever since I was child my magic drained the life out of me. Using defensive magic used even more than anything else and the Namjoon incident had thrown me for a loop. 

Aldara used to worry about my fainting spells after our lessons. She said that it was unnatural for a witch to become so overwhelmed by their own magic, but after many years of self reflection, I realized that my body was always using magic. Unlike other witches who could control their output, my gifts left me vulnerable and weakened. The constant possessions and lack of self control were two of the biggest downfalls of my own power. However, a small outburst would no longer make me as depleted as it once had. The last time I had a fainting spell had been the night I found the cottage on fire.

Flipping through my grimoire, I tried to find the potion I made that reduced anxiety. Wendy was returning tomorrow and Cordelia asked if I could send some to Syrena. I had only made this particular recipe twice and was still too unfamiliar with it to make it from memory. It would be Wendy’s luck that I sent over a shifting potion rather than a mood stabilizer. 

I was worried about her. While it was normal to go weeks without talking, I was afraid she may be upset with me over Seokjin. I was sure she was suspicious we had spoken and probably thought I told him what to do. That, or she had convinced herself that Yoongi had something to do with it. Wendy had a difficult time seeing things for what they were, and while I felt empathy for her, I would never choose between my friends. I loved and respected them both and wished I could get out of the middle of everything. It was her who told him about our conversation in the first place.

Unable to find it I grew frustrated. I hated being so unorganized. Everything was sprawled about and jotted down in sloppy, rushed writing. Half of it hardly made sense to me and I pitied my successor. Poor girl will have to learn how to read hieroglyphics before she could understand half of what was written. Giving up, I slammed the book shut and decided to write Hyun-Jin. He was the only witch I knew that would have something like this on standby. Carefully rolling the paper, I began to chant a new spell I had learned after reading Birdie Pippa’s grimoire, and blew. The paper turned to ash and was gone.

Pippa was by all accounts a whackjob. She had the most unorthodox methods of any witch I had ever read or heard of. Even looking through her countless spellbooks made that abundantly clear. She drew many of her spells in a step-by-step fashion that was somehow more difficult to follow than normal. Every spell and potion had strange ingredients that you would never put together and yet worked. She was brilliant. Aldara always made fun of my adoration for the woman, called me the next “nutcase,” and teased me about my own muddled grimoire. Still, no one could deny how talented Pippa was. This spell in particular was one of my favorites I learned so far. It was simple, used hardly any energy at all, and was extremely effective. I was happy my days of door drawing were gone- even if I invented that one.

The front door slammed open. Screaming, I felt my heart speed up and my vision flash black and white for a moment. Composing myself, I shot daggers at Taehyung as he strolled into the cottage. Jimin bowed, his apology clear, before following the younger alpha inside.

“It’s such a beautiful day!” Taehyung exclaimed, rolling onto the couch.

My eye twitched.

“Try that again,” I demanded.

The man shot up. His confusion was clear. Jimin just glared at him without a word. 

“Try what again?” Taehyung asked.

“Walking into my house like a civilized person,” I deadpanned. “I swear, you act like you’ve never learned manners a day in your life. First putting your dirty, disgusting, muddy boots on my counter and now this? Thin ice, Alpha. Thin ice.”

Taehyung scratched the back of his head and did as I asked. This time he gently opened the door and shut it. Satisfied, I hummed before going back to looking at my spellbook. I really needed to buy a new one just to fix how ugly it all looked. I wanted to slap the little girl who thought this system was going to work. Groaning, I stood up and decided to take my work to the cellar. 

“What are you looking for?” Taehyung asked, face glowing when he realized where I was going. 

The wolf enjoyed taking trips with me and looking over my shoulder. I knew he hardly understood anything since most of it was written in Latin, but I knew it meant a lot to him. His curiosity never seemed to lessen or change. Jimin had not asked to come but I had a feeling it was his way of not being “rude.” I wished he would.

“I need to find a spell for a friend,” I answered. “I have one but I wrote it when I was twelve and did not care if I could read it again. Such a childish thing to do.”

Taehyung laughed and was by my side without another second passing. Both of the wolves enjoyed hearing about my childhood. Tae had said it made me more human, but Jimin always told him that everyone knew I was. I wondered about their own childhood days. Jimin had been brave and reserved when we first met, just as he is now, but there was a sweetness there that was no longer present. This innocence that he could never get back. I knew that he could say the same about me. Seeing him again after all of those years had been a shock to my system. It was almost like our time in the forest had been completely erased from his memory. I was happy to see the gentleness within him again. 

“May I join you?”

Pausing, I looked up at the alpha. Taehyung had already gone down the stairs and I could hear him shuffling through things. Jimin smiled at me and I nodded. I was still riding high after the other night. We had not talked about it but I knew something had changed since then. Jimin was more willing to be near me, his eyes ever so slightly softer, and his voice was like clouds. It felt like the wall of ice he had around himself had melted and I was able to feel his warmth once more. Jimin followed behind me closely.

After lighting the sconces on the walls, I found Taehyung curled in a corner of the room with a book in his hand. It was probably another one of Aldara’s monster books. She had seen so much in her long life. Before she took her place as the Birdie, Aldara had been a monster slayer. The first person in the world to defeat a Quietus, and was so good at it, she chased them out of Bangtan. All the ones that remain are in the southern part of Moland and rely on lost travelers for food. The book Taehyung held were the short stories Aldara had written about her adventures. She was far cooler than me at that age. 

“It’s bigger than I thought,” Jimin whispered. 

“It grows whenever we need a new bookcase,” I replied. 

Jimin did not ask for clarification. He did not ask as many questions as Taehyung did, which I also chalked up to the etiquette training he received when he became an alpha. Taehyung had barely started those before being exiled. I thought about Namjoon and my letter and sighed. I still had not heard back from him. Jimin said my name, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Who was the first Birdie?”

Shaking my head, I smiled. “Her name was Rosette.”

“How did this family thing even start?” Taehyung wondered out loud. 

Taking a breath, I sat down at my small desk and gestured for the two men to sit. I recalled the first time I had heard this story. Back then, Aldara was less rigid and tense. Her hands were so much bigger than mine, and I remember her cooing at the dimples where my knuckles should be. I had been entranced by the blonde woman she had spoken so highly of. 

“Rosette was from the Foxglove Village. This was many years ago when the town was home to all the shifters in Lustra. She was the daughter of a merchant and grew up surrounded by people who adored her. Life in Bangtan was hard but calm. That’s when the tales of the Quietus started to spread down south.”

Quietus were soul eaters. Their human facades hid their true form, a large, shadow-like body that could see through you. They are dangerous, deadly, and most importantly- impossible to kill. Jimin’s face told me he knew of them. Taehyung was still lost in the fairytale. I sighed before continuing.

“These creatures were unheard of. No one in the village had heard of them before. Quietus were the original people of Northorn who had been defeated by the elves that wished to conquer the land. Bangtan was the only place they could go, and they found the perfect meals in the people of Foxglove.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” Taehyung interrupted. “Shifters are strong.”

“Yes,” I agreed. “Your ancestors were strong people who lived through the century war and found a home here. However,” I pursed my lips. “These were times when your kind were not fighters. The foxes that were there to protect the city were no match for the Quietus. It was said that no one but one made it out alive.”

“Rosette,” Jimin muttered.

“Yes, Rosette,” I nodded. “She was a beautiful girl. Her long, blonde hair and bright green eyes made her stand out in a crowd. She was a bird shifter who was in love with a fox in town. She was only 16 when the attack on the village began. Of course, she was not the only survivor. She, her sister, and a lucky few were able to escape. 

“Rosette was the oldest and was familiar with military strategies from her time with the fox boy. She told them all to split up and find their way to safety. Rose found herself in this very clearing when she called out to the sky to help her. She asked Lilith for help. Suddenly, she was surrounded by warmth despite the the fact that she was caught in the middle of a blizzard. She knew it was Lilith, she never knew how she did, but it was a feeling, and the wind around her asked what she wanted. 

“Rosette asked for her sister’s life to be spared and in exchange she would do whatever the Goddess wanted. Lilith accepted this offer. In exchange for her sister, Rosette and her bloodline would be tasked with being a guardian of the forest. That was the day we lost our freedom. She woke up the following morning in this cottage, her leg chained just as mine is now, and magic she had never had before. After being alone for over 100 years, Lilith sent her Jordana. We never know when we’ll be sent our pupil but when it happens we have 16 years left. It’s our duty to train them, raise them, and prepare them before our ascension to the spirit world.”

“Why can’t you shift as you please then?” Taehyung asked. Jimin smacked his arm but I waved him off. 

No harm in asking.

“Our transformations are directly tied with the moon and sun. Lilith loves to see us dancing, whirling, and twirling through the sky. We’re lucky we were able to keep that part of ourselves in the deal. Magic and shifting is simply unheard of outside of these woods.”

“Is it the same for genuine werewolves?” Taehyung asked. “The sun and moon thing?”

I laughed, “No, silly. Werewolves are cursed to be compelled by the full moon. They’re practically animals after their first transformation. No one comes back from that and they usually die three months later. Nothing like what you and I are.”

Taehyung seemed placated by this. He often called himself a werewolf much to Jimin’s chagrin. I could understand why the older alpha would be offended. They were born what they are and their bloodline is strong. A werewolf has to be made and their species is dying out in the Ozryn Mountains from starvation. The last werewolf outbreak was decades ago and was swiftly dealt with by the dwarves in Idris.

After the story was over, Taehyung went back to reading Aldara’s book and I got to look around for that stupid potion again. I had yet to hear back from Hyun-Jin and assumed he was busy. He was awful at writing back.

Jimin walked around the cellar and traced all of the books. It was astounding just how many were in here. Aldara alone had written over forty grimoires in her lifetime, and she was known to only figure out defensive magic spells. Rosette had 120, Jordana had 205, and Griselda had the record for the most with 223. I could not imagine having so many ideas. I have only finished three so far and was working on my fourth. I came up with more spells in my youth than I did now. I had a lot more fun with my magic then, too. Feeling bad about myself, I decided to take a break.

“Your aunt was so cool,” Taehyung said.

“Yeah, she was the coolest,” I grinned, my voice growing quiet at the word “was.”

It was late. The three of us had spent the day in the cellar. Jimin quietly skimmed through the books and was happy when I pointed him towards the diaries on the small shelf in the back. Taehyung had enough stories to last him a few more years. I flipped through Pippa’s spell books and made small talk with Taehyung. He always had something to say and it was nice to have someone fill the silence around here.

Taehyung had gone up to take a nap over an hour ago leaving Jimin and I alone in the cellar. He was hunched over a book, eyebrows knitted in concentration, and tongue sticking out ever so slightly. I was sure he knew I kept stealing looks but chose not to comment on my ogling. It was rare to see him so closely and relaxed. Shiloh had let me know she was visiting Morla to give updates on Wendy. Mumbling under my breath, I watched as the pen and ink I had brought down earlier wrote in my spellbook. I caved and let them do the work for me.

While reading over the other grimoires and books within the cellar, I had made myself a few notes of things I could experiment with. It was not as fun as Pippa’s nor as straightforward as Griselda’s, but I was happy to have thought of anything in the first place. Most of my experimenting went to the wolf pack and it was nice to have fun for myself. Aldara would be happy to see my creative muscles flexing again. 

“Birdie?” Jimin called, voice soft and smooth. 

I hummed and looked over. His hair looked dark gray in the candle light and I eyed the messy flyaways floating around him. I wished I could brush them down. Jimin regarded me with the same stoic face I had come to love. I knew it was only a small facade put in place for the sake of his people. They needed a strong, dominant leader around them and no one else wanted to fill that role. I saw the ghost of a smile graze his lips and relaxed further into my chair. Those were only reserved for a chosen few. 

“Why don’t you have anything here?” He asked.

“Everything that I own is upstairs,” I replied. “It would be far too much effort to come here anytime I needed to write or look over my work.”

He chuckled, “So, you do have a diary?”

Blushing, I nodded. 

“All of us do. It’s the best way to keep records for our successors.”

I would not allow him to read mine. It had far too many thoughts that I never wanted to reenter my mind. There was a particular time where I wrote daily and thus created five separate books detailing my misery. I would be mortified if Jimin or anyone for that matter got their hands on those. They held my deepest fears, darkest desires, and above all- my name. I was always the most open in my writing and never felt the need to keep anything hidden. No one had ever noticed them on display or bothered to care much for them at all.

“Yours must be very interesting.”

I shook my head, “Not really. Mostly the angsty ramblings of a teenager. Nothing more.”

I sounded convincing enough. I heard Jimin shuffling around but refused to look his way. Deciding that I was done for the night, I began closing and stacking the grimoires I had taken out. I will sort through them later. Glancing at the walls, I could not tell what time it was but knew it had to be close to sunset. I needed to get to my room soon.

Going to turn, strong arms found themselves resting on either side of my waist. Shocked, I turned my head to find Jimin standing directly behind me. He chest pressed against my shoulder as I turned to face him. He had never been so close to me before. 

I could count the small, individual freckles that dotted along his nose. His eyelashes were longer than I thought they were and flared out accentuating his eye shape. Everything about him was overwhelming and his scent hit me like a freight train. Hands gripping onto my desk, I struggled to speak.

“Jimin?” I managed to get out.

“Can I ask you something?” He whispered, getting closer.

Our chests touched and his hands moved behind my back. I felt his arms wrapping around me but his hands stayed on the table. Nervously breaking our eye contact, I glanced behind me to see his hands sitting one on top of the other. I was shaking and had a hard time breathing. Jimin called my name and I snapped back to his gaze.

“Can I?” His eyes were as black as coal.

A deep shiver went up my spine. Unable to form a coherent thought, I nodded. I swallowed thickly and reminded myself to breathe. Jimin smiled at me.

“Do you enjoy my company?”

Again, I could only manage a nod. Jimin’s face drew closer to mine. I took a sharp breath and held his eyes. I was searching for the meaning of this but found I could not read him anymore. This was a different man from the person that had been reading moments ago. 

“Do you like being close to me?”

“Yes,” I replied breathlessly.

“Do you want me to stop?” He whispered, his breath brushing my lips.

I knew I should have pushed him away and told him that this could never work. Our lives were too different. It was far too complicated. He had a mate out there waiting for him. He would forget about me soon enough. Even knowing all of that, I shook my head.

“No.”

It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. Jimin’s lips were soft and warm and lit my body on fire. The kiss was searing and I felt the flames so deeply they licked at my bones. Hot shots of electricity licked my spine and I grabbed a hold of his chest without another thought. Jimin’s arms encased me. Everything that I feared, wondered, and regretted did not matter anymore. None of it matters. He was here and he was mine.

Pulling away, I opened my eyes and saw him already gazing down at me. His eyes were so soft, gentle, and kind. Everything about him made me feel safe. He bent down and nuzzled his nose into my hairline. 

“Thank you,” He whispered. 

Dazed, I only nodded before seeking his lips out again. Jimin cupped my face and drew me impossibly closer. Any tenderness was gone the moment my tongue accidentally grazed his bottom lips. With a small growl, Jimin licked his way into my mouth and roughly grabbed a hold of my hips. Using his leg, he gently pried my legs apart and lifted me onto the desk. My hands had a vice grip on his shirt. 

Suddenly, I felt a cold shiver run through my body and yanked away. Jimin took a few steps back. I could see that he understood what was happening. After choking out a “go,” I stood up from the desk and screamed. Jimin was out of the cellar before the first feather broke through my scarred skin.

Taglist: @greezenini @adventures-in-bookland @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @zae007live @jimin-neverout @nikkiordonez12 @canarystwin​ @yamekomz @chimthicc​

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[norman-heckin-polk]

you should tell the story of you and norman baking bread for the first time together. at some point

🧹

alright, but if this gets a little sappy, that's not my fault. you asked for this. /silly

we'd been living together maybe... five weeks at this point? norman's had my bread before at this point, and expressed interest in learning to make it. so when i got around to making another loaf, i was going to make banana bread (i was really into banana bread around that time since it was a pretty new concept, only really showing up in cookbooks once baking powder entered the market in the 1930s. man, i feel old thinking about that...) but i decided against it since norman wanted to help, and opted for a normal loaf.

issues started almost immediately when i asked norman to grab the flour, and... it immediately dropped the bag onto the floor. i'm still not sure how it happened, i was too busy putting the sugar into the bowl. i also don't know why the bag was open when norman grabbed it. but whatever occurred, the result was our kitchen floor being covered in flour.

so we had to stop what we were doing to grab a broom and clean that up, and i had to try my best not to laugh the whole time because norman was deeply embarrassed by the situation.

luckily, we still had enough flour in the bag after that.

combining the dry ingredients went off without any other issues, but then i made the mistake of asking norman to crack the eggs for me. cue our counters, as well as both our faces, being splattered with egg and egg shell. yet another pause to clean the egg mess (and wash our faces)

i had it try again, this time with me assisting it, and we got it done with minimal egg shells entering the bowl.

once the wet and dry ingredients were combined, i started kneading it, i asked if norman wanted to try, it said sure. it tried for about two seconds before grimacing and saying "nevermind," it washed its hands immediately, and then complained about the texture of raw bread dough for a good ten minutes while i finished kneading it.

the rest of the process went relatively smoothly, aside from us forgetting the bread in the oven and subsequently burning it.

essentially, several messes were made, there were a couple egg shells in the final product, and we burnt it. but we had fun (i did, at the very least.) and norman swore it would never do that again. spoiler alert, it asked to help me with the very next loaf i made a couple weeks later. things went much smoother that time.

[spooniechef]

Chicken Adobo (1 spoon)

I have a Filipino friend and she occasionally mentions various dishes. I got curious, as I do, and when I get curious, I try things. Or at least I look up a recipe and see if it’s something I could actually handle. Now, the adobo recipe I found on Recipe Tin Eats is not quite like the one my friend makes, but she assures me that everyone has their own variation on the theme so that’s fine. The one I tripped over is super-easy, and I couldn’t even think of anything to really recommend to make it any easier besides Useful Kitchen Items and some notes about putting together what to serve with it.

Here’s what you’ll need:

Chicken and Marinade

1.5lb skinless, boneless chicken thighs (or 750g; 5-6 pieces)

1/3 cup light soy sauce (or tamari if you’ve got gluten issues)

1/3 cup + 2 tablespoons white vinegar

3 garlic cloves, minced

4 fresh bay leaves (or 3 dried bay leaves)

Main Cooking

2 tablespoons oil (separated)

3 garlic cloves, minced

1 small onion, diced

1.5 cups water

2 tablespoons brown sugar

1 tablespoon black peppercorns (or 2 tablespoons coarse cracked black pepper)

Note on the chicken: it really does have to be thighs, because breasts will just fall apart. As to the pepper, I might recommend using the cracked black pepper rather than whole peppercorns because they will be everywhere and you’ll either be picking them out of the finished product or getting a very peppery mouthful every now and then.

Here’s what you do:

Combine the chicken and the marinade ingredients in a bowl. Marinade at least 20 minutes, or overnight

Heat 1 tablespoon of the oil in a skillet; take the chicken thighs out of the marinade and brown them over high heat on both sides - 60-90 seconds or so. Do not cook them all the way through. Once browned, take the chicken out and set aside, keeping the marinade

Heat the other tablespoon of oil in the skillet, add the garlic and onion, cook for another minute and a half or so.

Add the kept marinade, water, sugar, and pepper and bring to a simmer; then reduce heat to medium high and simmer for five minutes

Add the chicken, smooth side down; simmer uncovered for 20-25 minutes, turning the chicken around the 15-minute mark

Basically you’re looking for a thick syrupy almost jam-like consistency from the sauce. If you’ve hit the 25-minute mark and the sauce hasn’t thickened the way you’d like, take the chicken out and let it simmer by itself for a few minutes; then put the chicken back in to coat with the glaze

A few hints from my first attempt:

When you reach the cooking stage, have everything ready for dumping into the pan immediately. With such short windows between the chicken being browned and needing to have the onion and garlic in the skillet, it’s much better if you can just put everything that goes together at the same time into little bowls. Well, except for the water; I have a feeling that adding water with the sugar already dissolved would do things to the cooking time.

Start the rice earlier than you think you need to. Even once you take it off the heat, the sauce will keep thickening and while it’s still good as a glaze, it’s a little more difficult to get off the skillet.

This month’s going to involve chicken a lot. As well as the adobo, I’m going to be trying chicken chasseur tomorrow, and risotto later in the week. Plus the chicken broccoli pasta bake recipe I posted earlier. But there are also going to be some more Filipino recipes because I have a yen to try pinasugbo, which is a sort of deep-fried banana dessert. Fortunately for me, I live near an area with a pretty solid chunk of Filipino community. If I want find someplace that sells saba bananas, glutinous rice, taro, or cassava flour, I just have to take a ten-minute bus ride and then, like, throw a rock and I’m bound to hit a market that sells Filipino ingredients.

[mariacallous]

Every year in the weeks leading up to Passover, I start to feel a little flutter in my stomach. It makes sense. With seder menus to plan, loads of groceries to buy, a kitchen to scour and turn inside out, and hours of cooking ahead, Passover’s to-do list is simply overwhelming. And this year, I have an extra item to add to my Passover anxiety checklist: the price of eggs. 

As anyone who has been grocery shopping in recent months has surely noticed, eggs are wildly expensive right now. Thanks to a combination of avian flu outbreaks amongst egg-laying chickens (which led to a decrease in overall egg production), ongoing supply chain shortages, and general inflation woes, egg prices have risen 70% over the last year. I tend to buy cage-free, organic eggs whenever possible, so I am already used to paying a premium for gorgeous, sunset-colored yolks. And yet I still did a double take when a dozen eggs at my local grocery store was accompanied by a $9.99 price tag. I decided to skip the eggs that week.

But here’s the question at the source of my anxiety: Can I really skip eggs for the entire week of Passover? Like many Ashkenazi American Jews that do not eat kitniyot (I’m not super religious, but old habits die hard!), eggs factor heavily into my Passover menus. Without them, the potato kugel, vegetarian chopped liver and matzah balls served at my family’s seder would simply fall apart. In the middle of the week, when my body is crying out for something other than plain matzah (again) topped with almond butter and bananas (again), eggs offer welcome variety in the form of hearty frittatas, shakshuka and the binder for matzah meal pancakes.

And then there is dessert. With glutinous wheat flour off the table, eggs — and especially stiffly beaten egg whites — provide necessary structure and lift to countless Passover sponge and chiffon cakes, airy nut tortes, flourless cookies and creamy custards. My favorite coconut macaroon recipe calls for egg whites, as do my mother’s crunchy-sweet cocoa meringues. Without even realizing it, I can easily make my way through 3 or 4 dozen eggs while prepping for Passover meals.

The markets have shown some signs of reprieve over the last few weeks as egg prices have begun to dip, but they are still nowhere near back to pre-inflation prices. That means, when I’m loading up my grocery cart with yet another dozen eggs, I’m going to feel it. So while I am not ready to give up eggs completely this Passover, I am definitely planning to scale back — especially on the dessert table. 

When life brings me added stress, I tend to jump to planning overdrive. I find that well-organized lists help to tame the anxiety beast and break impossible-feeling scenarios into manageable pieces. So while planning my Passover menu this year, I’ve been searching cookbooks (my own and many others) and the internet for a list of tempting, egg-free confections. It turns out, with a little creativity and a willingness to try something new, Passover can be sweet — even without the eggs. Here are seven egg-free Passover desserts I’m looking forward to making this year:

[eva-knits12]

Grocery Shopping with Steve Rogers

Trigger warning: PTSD, grocery shopping, crowds, anxiety, abusive marriage (not you and Steve), fluff.

Summary: Steve goes grocery shopping for the first time since getting out of the ice. You help him navigate the modern supermarket.

Steve wakes up on this warm Monday morning, He turns on his coffee maker, and then heads to the bedroom. He grabs his jeans and a sweater. He brushes his teeth, and then showers.

Today, he has to go grocery shopping. Steve has no milk, no eggs, no coffee after this pot, no creamer, and has only two slices of bread. Steve prepares himself some oatmeal, and toasts the last two slices of bread. When the toast pops, he slathers the slices with butter and some grape jelly. When his oatmeal is ready, he puts on some blueberries and bananas and eats his breakfast.

He then makes his list. You're still sleeping, so it will be a while before you wake up. Steve doesn't like going to the grocery store, he remembered when he used to get his groceries delivered. He remembers when his mother would go to the corner market to get things such as coffee, tea, sugar, flour, soap, and cans of soup. He remembers when his mother would go to the butcher and get things such as beef, pork, and chicken when the food budget would allow for such things.

You wake up, brush your teeth, wash your face, and then shower. You make instant pancakes and some instant sausage in the microwave, and put butter and syrup on the pancakes. You eat your breakfast, and drink your coffee. Your wearing a black skirt and a red blouse. You also need to do your grocery shopping, but that's going to have to wait until after work.

You meet Steve at the elevators and greet each other with a kiss. You and Steve have only been dating for a few months, and

"Good morning, doll," Steve says.

"Good morning, Captain Handsome," you say.

You two talk about your plans for the day, and since you both need to go grocery shopping, you two would make a date out of it. You two were holding hands while you were walking and talking on your way to the meeting room.

You and Steve go to the meeting to discuss the latest mission. You make the coffee, both regular and decaf, and you get the donuts and various other breakfast pastries. Steve is helping you set up the meeting room, and Nick Fury and Phil Coulson walk in,

Tony was discussing the latest mission, in which several hostages were taken. What was supposed to be two days max took four days because they were trying to free the hostages while dealing with Hydra agents. Of course, every mission was followed by a meeting, and Tony and Nick and Coulson needed to know why this mission, even short, took longer than expected.

After that, you and Steve went to lunch in the cafeteria, and talked while you were on your way to the cafeteria. Steve had his arm around your shoulders and kissed your forehead. You were holding onto his arm.

You two talk and eat your lunch. Steve goes back to his apartment, and fixes himself a cup of coffee and reads his book. You go back to Tony, and finish up your work. You finish making the copies and type of a summary of the meeting to e-mail to Tony, Nick, and Coulson. You leave when you're done.

When you arrive home, you call Steve and make your grocery list.

"Well, Captain Handsome, I can't wait to go grocery shopping," you say.

"I really don't know what I'm doing, where I'm going. The modern supermarket confuses me," says Steve.

"Look, when we go, there will be less people. Before, we'll get some Chinese. It's my ritual before I go grocery shopping," you say.

Steve and you talk some more. He's been curious about Chinese food, and has yet to try modern Chinese food. When he was growing up, there was only a few things on the menu to choose from.

Steve comes over, and greets you with a kiss. You two talk, and you're wearing your black jeans with your Docs, and a sweater.

"What's Wor Su Gai?" asks Steve when you two arrive at the Chinese restaurant and looks at the menu.

"It's Almond Boneless Chicken," you explain.

"The sweet and sour chicken sounds interesting," says Steve.

You two place your order, and you both talk while you're both waiting for you meal. You two share off of each others plates, and you both steal a kiss while you both are eating. You go to pay, but Steve insists on paying.

Steve hails a taxi, and you guys go to the grocery store. You both start on the pharmacy end of the store, and Steve gets some toothpaste, a toothbrush, some deodorant, and some soap. You get your favorite Cover Girl mascara, some body wash, some tampons, and some chap stick. Steve is amazed at the choices that are out there.

You then get some flavored creamer, and Steve is not only amazed by the brands, he's amazed by the flavors.

"Steve, it's just creamer. It's not going to bite you," you say.

'Doll, where is the half and half?" asks Steve.

"Try the dairy case, it's usually in there," you say.

Steve grabs the half and half, and looks at the price.

"I don't remember it being THAT much," Steve says.

"Steve, prices have gone way up thanks to several decades of inflation," you say.

You hear a loud noise, and start to feel the walls closing in. You immediately feel your heart rate rise. You start to feel shortness of breath, and you feel dizzy. Steve asks if your okay, and he immediately sees that your not. Steve guides you to the ground, and tells you that you're okay.

"Can you tell me five things you see?" asks Steve. You name five things you see.

"Can you name four things that you can touch?" asks Steve. You name four things that you can touch.

"Can you name three things that you can hear?" asks Steve. You name three things that you can hear.

"Can you name two things that you can smell?" asks Steve. You name the two things that you can smell.

"Can you name one thing you can taste?" asks Steve. You name the one thing that you can taste.

A small crowd has gathered, and Steve's PTSD is triggered by that. He just wants you to be okay. Steve doesn't really like crowds, and hearing the noise of a man yelling at his wife also triggered his PTSD. Any loud noise triggered it, and Steve was trying to keep himself together for you.

Steve instinctively ran towards the noise. It's a man who is screaming at his wife for not putting an item on the list, and then misspelling a word on the list. He's screaming and belittling her, and you're having a flashback from the time you were in an abusive relationship. That triggered your PTSD.

You're still sitting on the ground, hugging your knees, and trying to self-soothe. Tears are stinging your eyes, and you are now shaking and you don't even realize that your body is now having a reaction. With shaky hands, you try to reach for your purse to take a Valium, only you can't seem to unzip your purse.

"Oh, doll. This isn't about you. This is about him," says Steve, who has his arms wrapped around you, and pulls you close to him. Steve helps you unzip your purse, and gives you the pill bottle. You take the pill, and Steve let's you take a sip of water from the small water bottle that you keep in your purse.

Steve helps you up when you feel like you can. You grasp onto your cart, and standing feels strange right now. Steve holds you until the feeling passes.

"Steve, I'm sorry. I....I....I....," you say.

"Shh, doll. This is about him," says Steve.

You realized that it was this wasn't your abusive ex. After the Avengers confronted your ex, they helped get him jail. It took a while just to go out to do simple tasks. At first, you could barely make it out the front door without having an anxiety attack. Steve gave you time. Tony arranged for you to see a therapist. Sam was right, talking about what happened was the first step towards healing.

Steve was just there. He wouldn't let you go anywhere without him. Tony was making sure that you stuck to a normal routine at work. Natasha and Wanda and Pepper often had a girls night with you, where you guys would end it with a spa night and a sleepover. Everybody did their part in order to make you feel some sense of normalcy.

After, you and Steve head over to the produce and fruit section. You guys get the basics, and then it's off to the bakery section. You want to get some bread, and Steve got some cupcakes. Steve was amazed at the selection of cupcakes. There were only two flavors when he was growing up-chocolate and vanilla-but today, there's red velvet, coconut, mint chocolate, strawberry, lemon, key lime, Boston cream, s'mores, orange vanilla, pineapple, matcha, even mixed berry.

Next up is the bread aisle, and Steve is confused by all the breads available. His mother often made bread from scratch every day because sliced bread wasn't available until he turned 10. Even so, it was still cheaper to make bread from scratch, because sliced bread was expensive then. Steve was amazed at how cheap sliced bread was and the variety of sliced bread available. There was white bread, whole wheat, whole grain, bread with oatmeal on top, cinnamon raisin bread, hearty grain, Hawaiian bread, egg bread, potato bread, Italian bread, pumpernickel bread, rye bread, bread without the crusts, pita bread, and even pretzel bread.

You get some whole wheat and some white, and Steve gets two packages of white bread. You then move onto the meat section, and Steve is amazed. He gets some packaged bacon and packaged sausage, hamburgers, hot dogs, and some lunch meat. You get some meatballs, some ground beef and some ground turkey, some lunchmeat, and some hot dogs.

You then move on to the soup aisle, and you get several cans of soup. You get some tomato, some chicken noodle, some chicken tortilla, and even some lentil soup. Steve is looking for the Campbell's condensed version, which is still available. But, when he sees your carts with the Progesso soup, he asks what it is.

"Doll, what's that?" asks Steve.

"It's soup, Steve. You just open the can, pour it in a pot, and then let it simmer until it's hot. The water is already included, so it saves you a step," you say.

"How is this possible? And why does it cost this much?" says Steve.

"Its decades of inflation," you say. "Add competition into the mix, and that's what you get, companies competing for prime shelf space," you say.

"For decades, it was Campbell's. Now, Progresso has upped the canned soup game, there was competition. Add in gluten-free soups, soups made with organic ingredients, and soups that are low in sodium and soups that offer healthier options, that increases the competition for shelf space," you say.

Next up is the pasta aisle, and you buy some penne, some campanelle pasta, some spaghetti, and some macaroni. Steve is amazed that pasta is still cheap.

Steve also gets some rice, and he's amazed that rice can now come in individual sizes. You explain that you don't have to make a lot of it, when you just want a little of it. It's easier, and saves a bunch of time and clean up.

Next up is the baking aisle. Steve is amazed that there are boxed mixes of cakes, brownies, cookies, and even muffins. You explain that the mixes are just dry ingredients that have been mixed and measured for you, and you just add in the wet ingredients. You also explain that you only need one bowl to make it, and you just need to preheat the oven, pop it in, and let it bake. You still made your cookies and cakes from scratch.

Next up is the cereal aisle, and Steve gets some oatmeal. He's amazed at the selection of flavors, and that you don't have to buy a huge thing of it. You just add warm milk or boiling water, and Steve remembers when that's all him and his mom had to eat at times.

Steve goes to the coffee aisle, and gets his favorite brand of coffee. You get some, and he's amazed at the kinds of coffees that are available, he's also amazed that it's already ground. You explain that it's easier, and that this saves space, and saves time. There is still whole bean coffee available, but very few people own a coffee grinder nowadays. Most own a pot, or a Keurig. Steve is confused.

You explain that a Keurig is an individual coffee maker, but you need to buy the pods of coffee.

"Pods?" asks Steve.

"Yes, pods. It's easier, but they're expensive. Not everyone owns a Keurig. I own a $20 coffee maker, and I prefer it," you say.

Steve looks at you in amazement.

"Wait, you own a regular old coffee maker?" asks Steve. Steve owns one, too.

"Yes, it's just cheaper," you say.

You go to the cookie aisle, and get the store brand of Oreo's. Steve is confused at the prices, and you explain that the store brand tastes no different than the name brand. You and Steve go to the chip aisle, and he's amazed by the selection and the flavors. Steve had chips as a rare treat, but now it's an every day food. You explain that they're cheap, and it's a a cheap appetizer at parties. Chips are convenient when you have a sandwich, a hot dog, or a hamburger, you explain. Plus, there's low sodium, salt and vinegar, barbecue, sour cream and onion, sour cream and cheddar, kettle chips, ruffled chips, even tortilla chips. Steve has curious about Mexican food, and has always wanted to try tortilla chips.

"Chips?! We only had regular," Steve says.

Next up is the frozen foods, and you get some ice cream. Steve is amazed at the all of the flavor selections that isn't chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and even mint chocolate chip.

"Wow, ice cream is expensive," says Steve.

"It really isn't when you factor in individual servings. Plus, competition between companies. The store brand has some really good flavors, and factor in lactose free, ice cream made from coconut milk and oat milk, almond milk, sugar-free ice cream, and even brands such as Graeter's and Haagan-Dazs, and Ben and Jerry's, ice cream makers are competing for space in the frozen food section. It's not about the product, it's about the brand," you say. Ice cream was a rare treat for Steve.

Next up is the frozen dinners, followed by the frozen pizza. Steve is amazed by all of these culinary revolutions. You explain that you can either make the frozen dinners in the microwave or in the oven. Most will just have microwave instructions, and there those such as Stouffer's or Banquet that will have oven instructions. You explain that frozen dinners became a thing when he was still frozen in the ice.

He looks at the pizza. He's confused by the pizza. You explain that frozen pizza is cheap, and that there are several brands. Each brand has improved upon quality.

You and Steve finish. You have everything in your carts. The cashier is scanning the purchase, and the bagger is bagging the groceries. He loads everything back in your cart, and you call for Tony. One of Tony's driver's arrives, and waits for you in the parking lot, in the line where they have cars waiting to pick up passengers, and shoppers getting into their taxis.

You wait for Steve. Steve is amazed that the cashier is scanning his groceries, and not entering them in by hand. The cashier explains that this way is much quicker, and the only things that get entered in by hand are items that are weighable. He might have to enter in a discount by hand at times, but that's rare.

The bagger bags Steve's groceries, and he's amazed that everything is placed in plastic bags. The bagger says that he'll still have a job in a year, it's just that everyone will now have to purchase reusable bags because it's a way to help the environment. Steve is amazed because he explains that the corner grocery store always used paper bags when he was growing up.

Steve is finally done, and Steve and you load your groceries into Tony's car. Tony's driver, Happy, gladly takes you both back to Stark Tower, and gets the available security guards to help you both take your groceries back to your apartments.

Happy also explains that you can arrange for a grocery delivery.

"Wait, we can have our groceries delivered?" asks Steve.

"Yeah, Tony has it available for all of his employees. I had to use it a few weeks ago when I had a migraine, and it was grocery day. You just put in for delivery on the store's site, and they'll take it from there," you explain. Steve remembers when his mom used to get their groceries delivered, and when Steve was in his teens, him and Bucky worked as delivery boys for the local grocery store.

You and Steve kiss, say your goodbyes, and you and Steve go back to your apartments to unpack your groceries. Steve then calls you to say good night, and you can't wait for tomorrow.

Shopping with Steve was surprisingly easy.

[saetoru]

Teeeeeeee hi bby! if you want to share i would love to hear some headcanons about you and Alhaitham ehe (besides you driving him bananas…as you should tbh 💓)

*cracks knuckles* gray i luv you

i think alhaitham SUCKS at making coffee. i try to teach him like 7327464 times but he always somehow manages to make it too bitter or too sweet or too milky with creamer so every morning i have to get up and make his coffee for him like the overworked wife that i am even if i don’t have to get up until later. when i’m mad at him i don’t make it for him and he sulks and drinks his shitty self made coffee

i make him buy some sort of grocery or another on his way home from work every day. he’s so tired of it honestly. he just wants one day where he can peacefully come straight home but every time i’m like “i need eggs pls” or “make sure u bring some flour” or “can u bring (snack)” or “we need bread” and he HATES going bc he’s tired from work and wants to go home and every time he’s at the market someone starts a convo with him as grand sage and he is so annoyed. but he never says no bc he’s very sweet and because he hates sleeping on the couch my bad

every time he yawns i kiss his nose because he looks rly cute when he yawns and i can’t help it and so he’s started fake yawning sometimes to get a lil nose kiss without having to ask for one bc he’s shy. he thinks he’s so smart for this but i know he’s faking it for a kiss sometimes so every once in a while i like to pretend i didn’t notice him yawn and then don’t kiss his nose and it’s just very funny and adorable to see him try and not act disappointed or try and smoothly fake another yawn without seeming too obvious. he’s pathetic i luv it

he reads stupid physics books for fun so sometimes as a joke i’ll be like be like “i bet you can’t calculate how fast xyz would have to accelerate to…” or some random physics problem and he actually solves it right then and there with no trouble too and i get rly salty bc i hated physics btw so i’m like >:/ and then—and this is the one and only time he does something remotely cheesy—he’ll be like “hmm i wonder fast much i’d have to accelerate to do this—” and then he kisses me quickly and then continues reading. and i rly do hope he jumps off a cliff

he doesn’t like arguing with kaveh in front of me bc i pick kavehs side just to be spiteful and he hates letting me and kaveh have that satisfaction so he sees kaveh and walks the other way if im around bc he’s not about to let an argument start and wound his own pride in the process as his girlfriend picks his roommates side even when his roommate is wrong

i blame him for global warming bc it’s just his fault idk

[zanzibarhamster]

one of the funniest pieces of marketing i have ever experienced was when i was looking into putting protein powder in the fruit smoothies i usually eat for lunch. i'm not a gym guy or anything, but i was/am trying to eat less meat (meat industry issues etc), so i was willing to give it a shot as an alternative protein source.

i go to the store. immediately my eyes fall on a jar labeled LOW FAT PEANUT BUTTER PROTEIN POWDER. i fucking love peanut butter. i love it even more with bananas. i eat an insane amount of banana smoothies. but i'm suspicious. what is this powder made of? some kind of soy protein mixed with a little peanut butter? will it taste good? i turn over the jar in my hands to read the ingredients.

it's fucking peanut flour. 100% peanuts. "low fat peanut butter protein powder with 30% less calories than regular peanut butter" is literally just totally normal peanut flour.

at that moment i decided the best possible course of action here was to just buy peanut flour, but it turns out that my local grocery store doesn't sell "peanut flour", only "low fat peanut butter protein powder with 30% less calories than regular peanut butter". so my cabinet now contains the world's most hyped-up jar of peanut flour. to be fair it is great in smoothies.

[bellmad75]

ALL BY MYSELF

After Pete and Mayra had left, I joined a Zoom meeting for bellringing teaching assessors, which helped ease my ringing withdrawal symptoms. I then took a short walk across the road to double-check that I hadn’t missed any bargains at Palacio Regalo. Next door to it was a small café, Magikus, which I headed into for a drink and a snack.

I got a massive bottle of Coke, served with a small glass. The owner saw me about to take a selfie and came over with a fork that had been bent into the shape of a stick insect.

"An interesting piece of artisan kitchen art, which challenges one's pre-conceptions of material constructs of functional utensils" I thought to my myself. Then the owner rotated it 90° .....

to reveal a phone stand.

Yesterday, in the market, I had seen someone eating something that had been wrapped in banana leaves. Mayra told me it was "Tamales", a maize flour delicacy. I had now ordered one at Magikus.

I carefully opened it up to reveal the culinary delight inside.

And very nice it was too.

Pete and Mayra were already back at the house. As I told them the tale of my morning, there was a look of disappointment on Mayra's face. Yes, Newton strikes again - as a special surprise treat, Mayra was going to be serving tamales for us for tea tonight!

Oops, I did it again!

[the-koiking-pond]

We made it to the festival! Sorry we're late. I brought a bunch of cookies, some for the humans and some for the Pokémon (if it's alright, I know you've told people to only feed them Pokéblocks but these are special made for them). Included are the recipes in case anyone wants!

Disclaimer: Both recipes include eggs. This does not refer to the fertilized eggs of any Pokémon. These are the unfertilized eggs of farm-breed flying types that can be found at your local market.

Freeze-and-bake Chocolate Chip Cookies

In the bowl of a stand mixer or with a hand mixer, whip together 2 cups of melted butter or coconut oil, two cups of white sugar, and two cups of brown sugar, until light and creamy. One at a time, add in four room temperature eggs and one tablespoon of vanilla extract, mix until combined. In a seperate bowl, or in a sifter set over the top of your working bowl, combine five cups of flour with two teaspoons of baking powder and gradually mix the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients. Finally, fold in four cups of chocolate chips or other mix-ins. The dough will be thick and hard to stir. For the next part, I like to use an icecream scoop, but any spoon or just your hands coated in oil will work. Make balls (no need to make them round, just scoop and go) that are roughly 1/4 cup of dough each, and place them on a parchment lined cookie sheet. If freezing, place as many as you can without them touching, roughly twenty, cover with wrap, and freeze for at least four hours or until hard. Bake 6-12 cookies at a time in an oven preheated to 375°, 12 minutes for fresh dough or 15 for frozen.

Sunflora butter and Carrot Pokémon Treats

In the bowl of a stand mixer or with an electric mixer, beat together one and a half cups of mashed banana (about two), nanab berries, or apple sauce, with 1/4 of a cup of a simple ingredient Sunflora butter, and one egg. Mix in four cups of oat flour, one cup of freshly grated carrots, and half a cup of mixed seeds. The dough should come together but remain slightly tacky. Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface to 1/2 inch (around one centimeter) thick and cut with your favorite cookie cutter. Bake in an oven preheated to 350° for 18 to 20 minutes until crispy.

[a picture of happy, splashing magikarp going to TOWN on the butter and carrot treats. a blurry, half-eating chocolate chip cookie is protruding into the frame.]

[whskyneat]

𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃 | @offorester​

OFTEN times Aria is struck with the knowledge that she is completely and utterly enamoured with Dean Forester. It sneaks up through mundanity, heart completely wrapped in a vice as her eyes settle on her boyfriend doing something so completely normal that it shouldn’t garner a reaction. But it does because Aria is besotted and she has no qualms with the fact. She revels in it, finds herself falling deeper every day, and it should be good; it should be so fucking grand that she found someone that she feels this safe around. 

But Aria St. James is not Rory Gilmore and so Aria learns to live in second place.

She finds an excuse to visit Dean at Doose’s Market, making sure that she grabs random items before placing them right by the cash register. In her hurry she didn’t realize that what she’s gathered have no correlation with one another. A couple of eggplants accompany a lone banana -- God, did she just yank that off a bunch? -- and somehow flour and canned tomato soup has found its way into the mix.

“I’m making a weird dessert,” Aria tries to explain, cheeks already heating at the embarrassment. “I heard it’s called the get ‘em to love you tarte . . . or something.” 

[kimberlybalansagb]

This recipe is called Banana Cheese Rolls and Balls where you need to boil the Saba Banana and mash. After it cools down, it needs to be formed into like balls and rolls.

It was discovered and famous here in Cebu, and many people like it as a Filipino snack, they love to eat this kind of food because Banana Cheese Rolls and Balls are something rare to taste not just like other Saba Banana snacks such as Panaypay, Ginanggang, Banana Cue, and others which are purely all made with Bananas but with this new Banana Cheese Rolls and Balls it has a cheesy and creamy taste because of the cheese inside of the rolls and balls. Others also put melted chocolates instead of cheese. So far, it was the best recipe that was made in Cebu.

They found it delicious especially for those who love to eat snacks with crunchy banana rolls and balls. The cost of Banana Cheese Rolls and Balls is also affordable in which its target market is lower and middle-class people as they can easily make and buy them. Filipinos love to make small businesses because it was known here in place of Cebu that Banana Cheese Rolls and Balls are really appetizing.

As a Cebuano Blogger, I want to share and admire this recipe by promoting it through the internet and becoming one of the most delicious snacks here in the Philippines, people must be excited to taste and crave to eat this special it is one delicacy from Cebu.

Ingredients of Banana Cheese Rolls and Balls:

½ Flour

1 Cup Baking Powder

1 kg Banana

2 Cheese

Bread Crumbs

½ Liter Oil

[oonajaeadira]

I posted 8,794 times in 2022

That's 1,864 more posts than 2021!

1,286 posts created (15%)

7,508 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@insomniamamma

@grogusmum

@writeforfandoms

@inthetags

@ithinkwehitametaphor

I tagged 6,498 of my posts in 2022

Only 26% of my posts had no tags

#<3 &lt;3 <3 - 1,795 posts

#beautiful reader - 397 posts

#this broke me - 259 posts

#din djarin - 205 posts

#mandalorian fanart - 162 posts

#ask games - 143 posts

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#maia draws - 94 posts

#grogu - 87 posts

#i love him - 86 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#how terribly sad it is that people are made in such a way that they get used to something as extraordinary as living.  --jostein gaarder

My Top Posts in 2022:

(spoiler, it's all PATS and Sweets)

#5

The Tolerant Devotion of Extracurricular Caretaking

(BANANA BREAD WITH BAKING CHIPS- Sweets Series)

Rating: T. Fluffy AF.

Fandom: The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez and f!reader (his assistant “Girl Sunday.”)

Warnings: Javi is...not at his best. Whiny!Javi.

Summary: The hardest part of your job is taking care of a sick Javi. But in many ways, it’s also the best part.

A/N: I hadn’t planned this installment but for an ask that came through asking what Javi’s like when he’s sick. My answer got longer and longer until I thought it might be a nice moment to illustrate a time that Javi isn’t the sweetest–yet still cute AF–so here we are. Also, I started thinking about some of the other employees in the house. I imagine they’re something like a little found family all hand-picked by Javi. You’ll get to meet a couple of them here.

Lo siento = Sorry

Me corto los cojones = here it’s akin to saying “I swear to God” or “sure as shit.” (Literally “I’ll cut my balls.”)

If you’re curious where the nickname “Sunday” comes from, you can find the answer in the first fic at the series masterlist!

“Oh, lo siento, Néstor! That’s mine. Isn’t it your day off?” You’d come into the kitchen to find the cook lifting the pot cover and getting a good whiff of the steamy concoction.

“Sí. But I will be doing a market run tomorrow and forgot to count how many lemons we have. You keep using them for the lemonade. What is this?” 

Néstor is a good-looking man in his early fifties, bald, thick-rimmed glasses, tall and sturdy, rarely smiles on the outside. He’s prone to wearing tight-fitting black clothes, a very imposing figure…unless you scan all the way down to his pink kitchen crocs, festooned with Disney pop charms. He’s a big fan of Coco and Baby Yoda.

“It’s my grandmother’s chicken noodle soup.”

His stare is long. Impassible. “It smells fucking amazing. I want this recipe.”

“Of course. It should be ready. You want some?”

“Sí.” Dry as a bone, he collects two bowls from the cabinet and starts ladling up the soup like a bricklayer scooping mortar for a wall, all business, passing the first bowl to you and cradling the second in one square hand, blowing on it a little before taking a sip. “It’s good. Good spices. Chicken is tender. Mm. Chives?”

“Thanks. Yes. Gran used to make it for me when I was sick.”

“You make this for El Jefe, no?” When you duck your head in a nod on your way to the drawer for a spoon, he barks a laugh. “Me corto los cojones you two are like an old married couple.”

Deflecting the blunt jab with a little smile and a sidelong glance, you begin your retreat out of the kitchen

“Eh, Sunday.” Without relinquishing his soup, Néstor moves to the freezer and cupboards, pulling out a couple of items and tossing them on the counter. “Be warned, he is a terrible patient. It will soothe him you make him something sweet. But not too sweet. Not good for sickness. I know he likes your banana bread.” Two black and frozen bananas clatter onto a plate near the hot soup to thaw.

“Oh,” you stammer. “But I don’t have–”

“Yes you do.” Reaching up to a high cupboard and moving a couple of flour packets, he pulls out two bags of baking chips, one chocolate, one cinnamon. “If I don’t hide them, he will eat them.”

“That sounds about right.” Again you turn to go. Again you stop. “He told you about my banana bread?”

Taking a long sip of the soup and stopping to chew a noodle, he nods, stoic, a warm glint in his eye. “He tells me a lot of things.” He tips his chin at the bowl in your hands. “That is going to get cold.”

“Right. See you tomorrow, Néstor. Thanks.”

________________

A knock on the door earns you a pitiful “nnnnnnnnn” from inside Javi’s bedroom and you take that to mean “yes, come in, but oh my god I’m miserable and you should know it.” 

Half of Javi’s face is lost in his pillow when you peek in, but the eye you can see squints at you in defiance, his chin curling up in a pout, his voice a low croak. “I feel like shit.” A couple of pathetic coughs wrack his body and he turns his face fully into the pillow to spare you.

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592 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

#4

Good. Things. Take. Time. 3: Leap of Faith

Fandom: Calls (THIS IS AN APPLE TV SERIES. PATS is a character. This is not RPF.)

Pairing:  Pedro Across the Street x f!reader

Rating: ***Explicit.*** Those under 18 please do not enter.

Warnings: Wall-to-wall angst. Sex. Sex work. Sexual massage. Painful yearning.

A/N: Breathe. I promise that the sun does shine again.

Summary: This is it, isn’t it. This is happening.

RESIGNATION  (1.2k)

DISCERNMENT (967 words)

THE FIRST LEAP (843 words)

THE SECOND LEAP (349 words)

THE THIRD LEAP (653 words)

THE FINAL ASSESSMENT (1.5k)

MOVING ON (492 words)

(gif by pascalsky)

RESIGNATION

The black Subaru hatchback you’re parked behind has a “I brake for animals” bumper sticker. It’s been on there a while; sun faded, shredding at the edges. The other cars on the street you know, the regular Thursday crowd. Most people in this neighborhood park in their garages or in their driveways. Someone must have a guest. You doubt it’s his car.

You realize you have no idea what kind of car Patricio drives.

You’ve done more sexual acts with the man than you can count, have pressed moments of his painful past out of him like a fruit in a juicer, he’s bought you breakfast pastries–twice–and you have no idea if he’s a Ford man or a Fiat boy.

He’s in I.T… Probably a BMW. Or an Audi. Maybe even a Tesla.

Doesn’t matter. Perhaps you’ll never know. Not unless you take a leap of faith. And even then…if you fail, you’ll really never know.

Your car engine clicks through the silence as it cools down, as you watch the clock, preferring as always to arrive just a little early and walk up to the door right on time.

A little too early this time. You’ve given yourself too much time to think.

It’s like he’s put himself behind glass. He’s right there, the same lover you’ve known since that first blissful session, but you just…can’t…get at him. There’s a strange energy in the room now. Hard to pinpoint the exact metaphor. The way he looks at you. Like a monk recognizing the temptation in front of him and denying himself the pleasure in order to save his own soul and stay free to save others. You can see him back there behind those eyes, but you can’t really grab hold. He prefers to remain back there with his pain–the hurt he caused his former girlfriend–a deep, deep wound.

And if you tried to…tried to push through and possess…what would he do? 

There’s a good chance that it could be your last session.

You’re not ready. You need some other logic, some other–

A double-tap on the passenger window yanks your focus into the present. A look to the window yanks your heart along with it.

“Hey, sorry,” he laughs nervously once you unlock  the door and he ducks his head in. “I saw you out the front window. Would you mind coming in a little early?”

A glance at the clock shows you have eight more minutes.

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598 notes - Posted April 21, 2022

#3

The Blatant Presentation of Glowing Adoration

(DIPPED MADELEINES- Sweets Series)

Rating: T. Fluffy AF.

Fandom: The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez and f!reader (his assistant “Girl Sunday.”)

Warnings: Sappy, y’all. I just pile on the sap. This cupcake is just a vehicle for the frosting.

Summary: There’s a party going on at the Gutierrez mansion and Javi has a gift for you.

A/N: This was originally going to be a two-parter to control the sap, but I thought maybe drawing it out would make it worse, so here we are. Sunday’s dress is based on this one and holy balls I want it.

If you’re curious where the nickname “Sunday” comes from, you can find the answer in the first fic at the series masterlist!

“No, no Giorgio, they need to stay here! Um…las plantas…aquí…shit.” You pull out your phone, desperate for the translation app.

The old Italian gardener rasps out a dry laugh and pats your face with a calloused hand, and gives you his own brand of sunshine with his weathered smile. He says something about it being alright, that he’ll make it pretty, but you can only guess at so much. Spanish you can do, but your Italian is limited, and since Javi is fluent in both, the old man never bothers to translate.

You’d had the big potted palms brought into the courtyard and arranged just so, creating a kind of pathway for the guests of the evening’s party to walk through, and here was Giorgio and his wheeled cart, loading them up, thinking perhaps they were a delivery and he needs to take them out to the garden.

“Giorgio, they’re for the party. The fiesta. Uh…fest..uh, festa!!”

“Festa!” he chuckles. “Sí, sí, festa delle piante!”

“No, Giorgio–”

“Sunday?” Javi arrives from the archway, your benevolent savior, his curls still damp from his shower, the drawstring linen lounge pants and mostly open shirt just a temporary wardrobe for padding around his house before the formal main event this evening. “You are here! I have been looking for you, I have–”

“Oh, thank god, Javi, could you help me? I know Giorgio wants to help but I can’t get him to understand the arrangement and I don’t have time to explain–”

“Yes, yes, of course I can do this.” It isn’t until Javi gently lays his hands on your shoulders that you realize how high you’ve been holding them, and they melt downward with a stroke of his palms. He smiles through his minor concern. “It will be alright. Everything will be perfect. Please do not be upset. Okay? You work too hard.”

You relax a little as Javi enters into lyric conversation with the gardener, trusting him to do the explaining. But the ice sculptures will be delivered any moment and you’ve left the gratuity envelope on your desk, so you leave him to it, calling out a thanks over your shoulder.

“Sunday? Wait?”

But you’re already moving down the hallway.

When Javi suggested you hire a PR agent for this party, you should have taken him up on it. After a recent sickness, both of you were still playing catch up. But this party was for family. His cousin Niko–a young up-and-coming fashion designer–had just landed a commission with Loewe. It was a big deal and everyone was proud of him. Javi never overlooked an excuse for a party, and it was usually your job to coordinate them. It got to be a bit more extravagant than you originally planned and you’d lost track of time and–

As you pass the kitchen, a different voice booms–

“Sunday. Your assistance por favor.”

“Sorry, Néstor. Can it wait? I have to–”

“No, it cannot, get your bum bum in here.”

Puffing up your cheeks, you give a frustrated blow entering his arena, Néstor’s immaculate baking counter lined beautifully with golden, fluffy madeleines, half of them dipped in white, the other in dark. 

“This is what you want?” He gestures flippantly, walking away to gather mixing bowls and bringing them to the sink. 

“Oh, they’re perfect. Niko will be so happy!”

“I know they are perfect. But you must taste them. I think maybe your opinion is wrong and I will make some that are plain with dusted sugar. These two? Profiles too similar. Taste.”

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634 notes - Posted March 4, 2022

#2

The Superfluous Meeting of Utmost Importance

(ORANGE VANILLA POPSICLES - Sweets Series)

Rating: T. Fluffy AF.

Fandom: The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez and f!reader (his assistant “Girl Sunday.”)

Warnings: Please schedule an appointment with your dentist before reading this fic. 

Summary: It’s the day of the meeting.

A/N: Okay, y’all. You asked for the meeting where Javi confesses the love everyone here and everyone in the household knows he has for Sunday, so here it is. However. It’s not the only meeting Javi’s concerned with.

This one’s from Javi’s POV and I hope you enjoy that. I loved getting into his curly little head.

Audemars Piguet = a very expensive watch. Believe me.

If you’re curious where the nickname “Sunday” comes from, you can find the answer in the first fic at the series masterlist!

The way the sunlight kisses your hair, how you move your jaw when you’re thinking–a way of not clenching it in stress–the way your fingers skip over your keyboard. You’re determined to get your work done by his 2pm meeting today.

A meeting you’d set the date and time for per his request–he smirks–to “confess.”

Javi is completely in love with you. Has been for a while now. He’s never felt the need to hide it. It’s not a revelation, it’s just an everyday truth.

You’re wearing one of the tops you brought with you when you took the job months ago. It’s cute on you. It’s the second time you’ve worn it this week. He could buy you a whole closet of clothes, enough to never wear the same thing twice, but you wouldn’t ask for that and he’d never insist.

You don’t care about his money. You’re happy to have a room in the house, but you eschewed the down comforter for your grandmother’s afghan and he even had to push you to choose your office furniture or you would have gone without. The only time he can give you extravagant things and get a reaction out of you is with high end meals…but even then, it can’t just be expensive, it has to be good and prepared well before you lose yourself in a blissful sigh. You appreciate his gifts but value his attention and trust more than anything else, he can see that, see the shine in your eyes when he asks for your opinion or tells you something he’s never admitted to anyone else.

He loves this about you. He loves that he could buy you a Monet and you’d still rather look at the moon.

He knows he doesn’t have to tell you. But he wants to say the words and leave you no doubt. Grins broadly when he thinks about it, feels comfort all the way through to the marrow.

But which words? How to say it? He isn’t sure yet.

Leaning pigeon-toed against the doorway to your office, he watches you for a moment, your back to the door. Even though you’ve positioned your desk to look out at the ocean, you spend much less time staring out the window than he does. He wishes you wouldn’t work so hard–your dedication creates a beautiful, taut ping in his chest–but he knows you enjoy it and he’d be lost without you and your devotion. It is good that you’re different than him in this regard.

A glance down at his Audemars Piguet shows it’s just turning 11. Three hours then. Maybe he’ll go for a swim.

But instead of taking the stairs and heading for the pool, he suddenly has the spark of an idea and heads past them to the kitchen.

“Ah. Néstor, hi.”

“Buenos dias, jefeeeeeee.” The garlic he’s mincing holds the cook’s attention, but he sings off a dry greeting.

The kitchen counter is covered in bowls and plates full of freshly chopped and grated ingredients for tonight’s dinner–a special meal for a special night–they both know how much you like Néstor’s homemade wood fired pizza. A margherita, a pugliese, a prosciutto crudo e rucola… he will keep creating and firing them until you’re both full and then he will keep going so that there will be leftovers for the cook’s day off.

Javi rocks on his feet as he watches Néstor stir the simmering sauce on the stovetop, waiting for a moment when he won’t be too much of a bother, but his patience runs out. He asks the cook for his help. To help Javi make something himself. Something sweet. He doesn’t know what though. He just came up with the idea a minute ago.

Néstor swirls the wooden spoon through the steaming tomatoes, silently, expertly, taking his time and assessing the texture. “Para Sunday?” He asks, frowning, not looking up from his gentle mixing.

“Sí.”

“Hoy es el dia de la confesion, eh.” 

“Ah, sí.” That’s right. He told Néstor about the meeting last night at the party, hoping for advice from the confidante but only receiving a thoughtful stare and the assurance that he would plan something special for dinner.

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658 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Good. Things. Take. Time. 2: One Bed

Fandom: Calls (THIS IS AN APPLE TV SERIES. PATS is a character. This is not RPF.)

Pairing:  Pedro Across the Street x f!reader

Rating: ***Explicit.*** Those under 18 please do not enter.

Warnings: Masturbation (f and implied m), hand job, oral (m receiving), feather light dom/sub/switch, P & V (unprotected but with prior safety agreements), kissing, praise in droves, instruction compliance, the usual implication of nefarious massage practices / something like sex work. PLOT. Boring shit about database programming, characters you’ve come to know outside their element, a drop of angst, yearning across a crowded room, character shock and name swap (wait...what?), and, as always, PATS* is his own warning.  *Now with more soft.

A/N: I was getting ready to write a one-bed fic and asked y’all to vote on a character. Another boy won, but at one point, PATS was in the lead and I panicked. How do you write a one-bed fic with characters whose whole playing ground IS a bedroom? My brain wouldn’t shake the challenge and this is what happened. I will also say: this is not a direct sequel to the first fic. It continues the entire series that’s been building through the sessions. 

I have more notes, mostly thank yous to y’all. You can find them at the end.

Anti-Summary: “This can be a pause. Pause of treatment-client relations. What happens in this room isn’t what happens in your room. That space is sacred and I don't want to compromise that in any way. And if it’s a pause, it’s a complete pause. No touching, just sleep.” (Adira’s note: hahahhAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH GOOD TRY.)

.

As with the original fic, this will be broken into sections if you need to take a breath.

REGISTRATION (1.4K)

DISORIENTATION (1.8K)

THE FIRST CONUNDRUM (512 words)

THE SECOND CONUNDRUM (784 words)

THE THIRD CONUNDRUM (958 words)

THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED (3.8K)

ASSESSMENT (1K)

REGISTRATION

“I want you to repeat as necessary this week. The key is to enjoy yourself, Preciosa. Feel free to log in and make a note about how you felt when you started, how many times you came, and how you feel at the end. I’d like to hear about it. See you next week.”

You tap your phone on its dash mount to wake it up and press the replay button.

“Hey. So…I’ve never actually done this with a client, so thanks for being my guinea pig. I know you like to try new things. Again, sorry I had to bail on our session, but maybe this will be fun so… Take off your clothes and get yourself comfortable. I’m gonna talk you through a few things. And I want you to imagine I’m there with you, okay? Your hands are my hands–”

It’s the third time you’ve listened to the half-hour recording. After the first go through, you had to find a rest stop and pull over. When you’d finally emerged out of the single-stall restroom, you had to apologize to three angry women waiting in line. You couldn’t–and wouldn’t–do what he told you to do in a public stall, no matter how cleanly it was kept, but it was easy enough to just get a quick fix and clean yourself up so you could keep driving. Sure, listening to Pedro’s mellow tones guide you through the most intense self-satisfaction scenario you could possibly imagine while going 70 on the highway wasn’t the best idea. But as long as you keep your hands on the wheel it should be okay.

__________________

–I’m sorry about this, Preciosa, but I won’t be able to keep our appointment on Thursday. Life is getting in the way. If you don’t mind though, I’d like to make it up to you.

The chat had been waiting for you on Sunday morning when you logged into the portal and he was still active.

–Make it up to me? I’m the one who’s getting weekly sessions at a bi-weekly rate.

–Plus tip.

Oh yeah. That.

–Hey. You deserve it.

The chat sits for a full minute.

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675 notes - Posted December 31, 2021

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