#Ban Lilia from the kitchen please

[blind0raven]

... what culinary expertise?

Bitch you have NONE!

Out of everyone you get the 1 person in the entire campus with disasterous cooking skills and taste buds

Rip Ace

Ace legit having fear in his eyes about Lilia teaching him how to cook oh no

Yay ghost chef saving Ace! You know what else yoh can do?~ :D

JUST GIVE LILIA A PITY POINT!!! YOU'RE JUST DOOMING THE ENTIRETY OF NRC TO JUDGE HIS COOKING YOU SOMEHOW BELIEVE HE'LL "IMPROVE"!

*ahem* I mean... no yeah, pull a spongebob on Lilia

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

[sqvishii]

imagine you and the vice housewardens, cooking in the same kitchen.

jamil viper and trey clover are the ones who knows what to do and often try to help the others, which leads to a disaster. if you wanted them to, they'll be happy to teach you!

lilia vanrouge? yeah, things won't get pretty. please tell him to put the exact measurements and not to add anything that isn't in the ingredients! you're probably the only one hell listen to.

jade leech? make sure to have rook watch him so he doesn't do anything funny to the food, one glance away and he's adding something funky in it, have him apologize if he does!

oh, and rook? he deems himself as the taste tester, seemingly looking nervous once he spots lilia's dish.. maybe trey's unique magic will help? a bit of water now too..

but nonetheless, you all enjoy a chaotic yet seemingly fun activity that bonded all of them together! (jamil banned lilia from the kitchen ever since.)

[silkkorchid]

What went down in TWST rp in a week-

Covers 3/30 - 4/5

This week was ok ish…

NRC therapist and Gardening club seems to be planning something against Mrs. Rosehearts…

NRC Newspaper club has a new member called, Atlas, seeming to be an unofficial prophet for NRC, thanks to his Unique Magic.

There is a Dance Club at NRC now-

One of the hosts and the host club seem to have a questionable draft that was soon posted by another host. I’m looking at you 🪞⚜️.

NRC Host Club has now a menu of food, with the one of them being uhm a very clever name for it!

NRC cooking club made a disgusting salad that I cannot describe…

NRC allows students to have tazer if worn correctly…

Another race is happening between Royal Sword Academy and Night Raven College. And there is a poll which school is going to win, some students at NRC are rigging the poll.

Both of RSA and NRC Cleaning club have log entries.

Che’nya is at it with the invisible boop towards the boys.

Some of the boys’ future children are throwing powder ball at them, for no apparent reasons???

The Diasomnia gossip account seems to be telling all the juicy stuff that happens in Diasomnia- wait does Malleus even know this exists?

Someone said Sebek is just… I can’t say it as I’m gonna puke…

A boop war has commenced between us who will get the most boops.

A boop battle between Ruggie and Silver. Silver surrender with Ruggie being the winner .

A student of Diasomnia ate a whole pathway since they were hungry. The person that did this, u know.

Malleus and Althea is having a boop match across campus. Then lasers were incorporated into this match of theirs.? After all that happens, Althea and Malleus end their boop match with ice cream.

Althea trying kidnap Gidel, NO TOUCHING THE CHILD ALTHEA!

General Lilia came back from the dead.

Lilia destroyed the microwave again, wait is that smoke coming from Diasomnia?

Lilia got into Ramshackle’s kitchen and yeeeee….

Riddle realized his mother now got a Tumblr account-

Ace got food poisoning, and Riddle ban him from the kitchen till he gets his credit for the mandatory cooking class.

Mrs. Rosehearts has came back after 4 days. Someone gotta hold onto me before I jump her.

Seems like fans of Riddle are pushing their buttons with Mrs. Rosehearts, and I’m proud seeing them being straight forward on causing chaos.

Ace destroyed a microwave. No questions ask.

Ace got collared for the millionth time.

Ruggie’s future child SOMEHOW broke through a wall!? H-how does that logic work!?

Someone cast a spell onto ruggie in which made him wear bunny ears and a tail.

Leona is trying to pass his responsibility onto Ruggie.

Azul has now met his future child after idk how long.

@quartztwst made Azul bald.

Jamil trying to prevent Alcestris dating Najima, his sister. Meanwhile Althea cheering Alce on…

Epel came back after a beauty break to see the last update before shortly going offline.

Idia arguing which anime he and his future children will watch.

Idia allowing his future children to commit arson…. Ortho please stop him being a bad influence to his own future children…

Idia loosing his shit when the topic of Sonic came up.

Idia lost something very important for his magic pen.

Someone reminded Idia that he accidentally left Ortho’s filter off and you know the story.

The boys’ future children somehow got gender-bend due to a potion.?

The children tried monopoly and it turn into a full on war.

One of Sam’s friends can speak that wired language that I can’t understand-

Cheka came back after a long nap.

Someone taught Cheka to swear-

Fellow and Gidel is at it again trying to find new puppets…

[askyuuandco]

Lilia: but I wanna help

Silver: father please you are banned from all kitchens ;-;

(@ask-the-twst-girls) Scylla: Hey Yuu, I'm packed! When do we leave? :D

Yuu: we leave now and why are you packed? >.>

[merakiui]

bangs fist on table falls on knees LILIA WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU TO COME HOMEE

Eat the meal he lovingly prepared for you. :)

[spadecentral]

ENZO LETS LUCA PAINT HIS NAILS WHENEVER THEY GIVE IN TO HIS ASKS

CAROLE + EMILE ARE THE GIRLBOSS AND TRANSMASC DUO THAT ARE SOMEHOW ACQUAINTANCES WITH EVERYONE

enzo is unfortunately roped into emile's crush on luca(and vice versa), they're like that friend that the two literally go to and rant ab the other nd enzo is just thinking "OMFG please just go confess your crushes are so obvious"

people actually sometimes confused enzo with luca and vice versa!!

carole brings nadia(aka luca) shopping whenever they feel feminine or whatevs

emile's cooking is on par with lilia's, but at least he makes his food somewhat edible!

emile is banned from monstro league's kitchen

enzo sometimes listens to luca playing the guitar!!

luca made enzo a lunch box like one time bc they had a school trip and would only come back after lunchtime

emile knitted enzo a scarf once before winter break!!

hELP THESE ARE ALL SO CUTE HELLO?

i love these so much wtf theyre all so RAHHH theyre klagjlkagasga

[supimjustwriting]

You Ruined Me

Features: Riddle Rosehearts, Leona Kingscholar, and Malleus Draconia

Author’s Note: I believe I had a bit too much fun with this. Honestly the idea I wrote for Malleus can become its own fic.

Riddle Rosehearts (Trey Clover) Genre: Comedy Warnings: Bullying, product placement

“My teeth are fine. I don’t need your help.”

It was supposed to be just another day at the Heartslabyul dorm, yet quiet whispers seemed to surround the couple.

“I heard that Riddle’s (S/O) doesn’t brush their teeth.” “Is that why they always have a closed lipped smile in photos?” “Ever since Trey mentioned it. I can’t help but notice how yellow their teeth are.”

Each word dug thorns into (Y/N) before they finally had to excuse themselves.“

Trey allow me to talk to you for a moment,” pulling the vice dorm leader aside. They mirrored their lover’s rosy cheeks while steam poured from their ears. “What have you done?”

“It’s just a passing comment. I’m sure things should blow over soon. Trends like this come and go all the time,” the clover haired male held his hands up in defense, a sheepish grin painting his lips.

“A trend? You call this a trend! I can’t even simply speak or eat without somebody. No. EVERYBODY, staring at my teeth!”

Before things could escalate further. A certain redhead entered the room, his eyes filled with worry and confusion like a child walking in on their parents arguing.

You and Trey reflexively apologize to each other, eyes glued to the ground. With the both of you explaining, each explaining their respective side. A new rule was born. At least [décor] reminders of the rule now made home to this rule flooded dorm.

The next morning a sign made their home upon the kitchen wall, followed by a picture of a smiling tooth. It was quite reminiscent of a children’s dentist office. The sign read” ALL STUDENTS ARE ENCOURAGED TO BRUSH THEIR TEETH AFTER EATING. THIS INCLUDES AFTER DRINKING TEA AS WELL AS OTHER FOOD ITEMS KNOWN TO STAIN TEETH.

Needless to say this was just another rule to be forgotten. At least they stopped talking about you and now call out each other.

[ Little did everyone know this was simply all planned by Trey to promote the new toothpaste he was working on.. It was a success. ]

Leona Kingscholar (Ruggie Bucchi) Genre: Drama/Angst Warnings: Stealing, invasion of privacy

“Anything else would’ve been fine but out of everything you had to pawn that?!”

You tore your room apart. Throat closing with each area of failure. Just where was your necklace? Taking a few deep breaths, you try to recall who could’ve visited your room. Crossing your arms over your chest, you create a mental list.

Jack stopped by to ask if you wanted to join him on his morning run, to which you grumbled softly. Still half asleep.

A while later Leona came, scooping you from your desk before holding you protectively against his chest. His body relaxing from the familiar warmth and scent your body gave. Though before you could fall asleep yourself. Ruggie popped in asking if he could have any spare notebooks laying around. Lazily gesturing to your desk, you close your eyes.

Ruggie.

“Where is it?” “I know you were half asleep but you agreed to letting me take those notebooks. You ain’t getting them back.” “Not those. You can take as many as you want but where is my necklace?”

The hyena’s face dropped as he chuckled nervously.

“Oh! That little ol’ thing? Out of your whole collection I thought you’d miss that one the least. So, I pawned it for some madol. Since it was yours to begin with, I’ll give you a cut of the profits. How does 75:25 sound to you? Sellers fees and all that,” he chirped, turning on his charming business mode.

Each word that left his lips caused your blood to boil ever hotter.

“So, you’re telling me. That you sold my only connection to home because it looked plain?”

Oh fu- He should’ve put sentimental value on the table as well. No wonder the pendant looked familiar to him. Hindsight truly is troublesome, isn’t it? With his ears pressed against his skull, a sheepish grin painted his lips.

“I could always buy it back?” “You will buy it back.”

Like a lion stalking their prey, you slowly made your way to the hyena only to be interrupted by a familiar groan.

“Oi, what’s with all the noise? Don’t you know that some people are trying to rest here?” A yawn erupted from Leona’s lips as he scratched the back of his head. “(Y/N)? From the look in your eyes. What did Ruggle do?” Nothing could hide the amused smirk forming upon his face.

After explaining the situation to Leona. You got your necklace back even quicker than promised. Needless to say a certain hyena was banned from your room indefinitely. Unless you decided otherwise. It’s your room. Leona won’t tell you what to do but he’ll throw in a suggestion here and there. Of course. Due to the talk Ruggie had with your boyfriend. He doesn’t even consider looking at your stuff the wrong way.

Malleus Draconia (Lilia Vanrouge) Genre: Horror, Angst Warnings: Unhealthy relationships, yandere themes

“Lilia, please don’t. We can talk this out! Can’t we? I don’t wanna be a fae. Please convince Malleus otherwise. I want to stay human. I want to stay me!”

You stared at the joyous fae before you. His maniacal smile never left his lips as he slowly approached your trembling form.

“Oh sweetheart. I would hate to be the bearer of bad news but this was your dearest’s idea. It broke his heart, you know?” Lilia’s voice dropped to an accusatory tone as he clicked his tongue at you. “I told him that loving a human comes with a heavy price. You can only truly give your heart to someone once. I will have you know. The other times will never be as pure as the first.”

Despite your sniffles and cowering form. He continued as if scolding a child.

“Humans have such short lives and so we talked it out. We agreed to tweak some things. Till death do us part is too tragic of a way to end a story, don’t you think? So, we decided to focus on the forever in the happily forever after. Romantic, isn’t it?”

Lilia closed the distance between the two of you. Before revealing a small vial with a pink sparkling liquid dancing within. Gingerly he held the glass to your lips, teasing you with your fate.

“And all it will take is just one gulp,” each word that followed, he tipped the glass ever so slightly. 

Malleus watched the scene unfold before him an unreadable expression painting his face.

“Lilia,” his voice shook the room, filling the empty space with an indescribable pressure.

You were saved! Surely your upper classmen had to be joking, right? This was simply just one of his pranks going too far and Malleus is here to stop the teasing. Yes! That has to be it. Yet why does the draconic fae stare at you with such fascination?

“I thought we agreed that I would give it to them.”

In a fit of laughter, Lilia let your trembling form free. His eyes glowing a deep magenta as delight slowly filled him. The sight of the young couple warming his cold heart.

“Look Malleus, they’re shaking with excitement! I guess we got too carried away there,” the short haired male let out a sigh. “If only we were a bit quicker, right (Y/N)? Then we could have surprised your darling dearest.”

A soft smile crossed Malleus’ lips. “(Y/N), you didn’t have to do that. Though I am touched by the thought,” your boyfriend walked over to you before kneeling before your doll-like stature. “Let this day become a commemoration for the future years to come. I truly do love you from the bottom of my heart (Y/N). Now please, tilt your head back for me love.”

What was once a comforting embrace, now resembled a cage. His cold skin against your own reminded you of a corpse. Yet there was a soft burn coming from beneath. Love? That’s a fool’s wishful thinking.

You felt your scalp being tugged softly, snapping you from your thoughts. Gingerly long slender fingers caressed your cheek as if to remind you everything will be alright. With the bitter liquid sliding down your throat. All you could do was curse the pair from the bottom of your heart. How dare they ruin you like this?

[chibiwritesstuff]

heyya yaaaa~! I just finished reading all of your works and lemme tell you, it’s all so nicely written! keep on going and don’t forget to take breaks when you need it, hm? alright, me stating facts about you and your writing talent aside— may I request lilia, floyd, ruggie and silver? Angst with a happy ending please? You can make it angst due to a misunderstanding or sumn. but oh well of course! that’s only if you don’t mind. Take your time dear, it’s not good to force yourself alright? bye~!

I see you saw the note that even I can’t find anymore that Lilia always gets a free pass on my 3 character limit XD. Thank you so much! I have long ways to be a decent writer but I’m glad you found my works nice. The one with Lilia is actually based on my own experience at work and I was told that’s an anxiety attack so uh... Also, I do kinda have to force myself or I’ll just keep focusing on work and not have time for myself which is writing.

(I swear all characters are treated equally and totally no favoritism... oh who am I kidding? Hail Lilia)

Warning(s): Mentions of an anxiety attack on Lilia’s part.

Now, let’s enter this twisted wonderland~

At first, he thought you just need something for Jade which he doesn’t mind. Everybody needs help once in a while.

But lately you two have pretty much stopped seeing each other.

Anytime he asks the trouble trio, they always respond that you’re with Jade.

Excuse me, if you wanted to break up with him just tell it straight to his face?!

He’s honestly hurt though. He thought you two are hitting it off really well.

Once he confronts you about it, you’re in the kitchen of Monstro Lounge.

“Wait, what are you doing?” He looked so confused and enamored of your look with an apron on.

“Ruggie, I love you and everything but I’m in the middle of a shift right now.” You immediately replied as you see Azul tapping his wristwatch.

“You work here?!” He jerked back in surprise. “I thought you are having a tryst with Jade!”

Cue to you and Azul spit taking (away from the food, of course, you ain't unsanitary) while Floyd burst out laughing and Jade chuckling.

Yeah, turns out you’re the current cook in the lounge to save up some money to buy him a gift for your anniversary.

Psh, he knows that. He’s just testing you… yeah.

Feel free to tease him about it since he used to do it to you anyway.

Okay, surely you just need Vil for a question or two, right?

You keep making excuses to get out of his hair lately and he doesn’t like it at all.

Yet whenever Rook calls for you because Vil asked for it, you’re suddenly available.

His mood swings are worse than a pregnant woman’s so you better explain quickly.

“Floyd! I finally found you.” You greeted him three weeks after you two last have an actual conversation.

“Can’t talk right now, I’m busy. Why don’t you go back to Vil?” He snapped at you as he began walking away.

You merely blinked at his reaction and shrugged. “Okay, you gave me the go signal so don’t you go blaming me for it.”

“That wasn’t permission! Get back here and pay attention to me!”  He pouted and shook you violently. “Why do you always pay attention to Vil? I thought I’m your boyfriend?!”

“Well, my sense of fashion is wack so I thought I’d ask an expert.” You struggled to respond as you tried to hand over a box which made him stop shaking you. “Vil hooked me up to get these for you after being ordered around to do things… Happy anniversary… oh god I feel sick…”

“Eh?” He opened the box to reveal the Tenebres brand of shoes that he’s been wanting. “Shrimpy, thank you!!!”

Yeah, have fun trying to hold that nausea in because this eel ain't ready to let go just yet.

As much as Lilia is a great person to hang out with, he can be quite neglectful on certain things because of having too much fun.

You don’t show it that much but you do get anxiety attacks when you get surprised. While not severe it’s still quite a scary moment.

It doesn’t help that you’re carrying something very valuable and very fragile to Vil when he decided to pop out of nowhere upside down.

“What you got there, (y/n)?” He casually asked.

“Ah!”

A loud crash echoed in the hallway and your face pales up as Vil’s delivery is now on the floor, shattered. Just the sight of it is enough to send your thought spiraling as you can vividly picture Vil yelling at you for being careless and useless you can be. You are aware that your brain is exaggerating things but as your anxiety attack gets more prominent, the harder it is for you to breathe and rationalize which only made you panic. Your ears started ringing that you failed to hear Lilia calling out your name multiple times. You must have blacked out for when you regained your sense of focus and hearing, you can see a concerned Lilia hovering above you.

“Oh seven, my apologies little one.” He replaced the wet cloth on your forehead before continuing. “I should have known or at least notice you have anxiety attacks.”

When you’re feeling better, Lilia personally talked to Vil about the situation and offered to replace the said item.

Much to your surprise, Vil got mad at Lilia for causing your anxiety attack and even used his unique magic on the fae’s apron and favorite ladle.

Yep, the old man is currently banned from cooking. (Diasomnia sent Pomefiore their thanks that day.)

Nonetheless, Lilia is now careful about his random appearances and is now more attentive.

The downside is that he permanently has his dad mode on.

This man trusts you a lot.

He knows you won't force him to do things he doesn’t like and respected the fact that his main priority is to service Malleus. The same goes that you trust him that you love him and he won't force you to do things you don’t like.

So, when he saw you spend way more time with Deuce than him especially during his sword practice, he wasn’t pleased.

He’s rather blunt about it too that he just stops you in the hallway around other students.

“Why are you hanging out with Deuce too much?”

“He’s my friend, Silver. Of course, I’ll hang out with him when you’re busy.” You cocked your head sideways out of confusion.

He frowned, still not like the ache he feels in his chest. “Doesn’t mean you have to do it every time.”

“Hey, I don’t stop you from being with Mr. Draconia every time but I get restrictions? What happened to being fair to each other?”

“It's my duty to be around Lord Malleus, you on the other hand waste your time on someone else’s company.” He defended and straightened his posture unconsciously to assert authority. “If you have free time then watch me practice or something.”

“I did that before and I ended up falling asleep on the hard ground so you told me to do something else instead, remember?” You can't help but be hurt by the contradictions he spouting out right now especially since you two have garnered the attention of almost all the students nearby. “Can you take some time to cool down first before we talk about this again? I don’t want any misunderstandings to happen between us.”

“So you can go back to Deuce’s side already?” Anger slowly seeping into his visage but immediately disappeared with your hurt expression.

“Do you trust me so little…” You whispered not intending for him to hear. “You know what, fine. I’ll go to Deuce until you finally get your head straight.”

Let me tell you now, he feels everything just came crashing down. He never intended for it to cause a big rift between the two of you but at the looks of it, you two needed space.

The entire day this man will try to talk to you again but by some unknown force in the universe, there's always something preventing him to do so.

He’s so lost he can't even take a nap even in the comfort of the forest animals.

Deuce smacked him to his sense quite literally. Like, our delinquent boy just punched the living daylights out of this guy.

Deuce has to explain that you two are pretty much siblings when it comes to closeness and you’re always talking about him all the time.

Be prepared to be serenaded tonight, Silver ain't letting you leave him on a bad note.

Well, more like that’s what Lilia taught him to do since he was young.

[helpidkwhattoput]

OOC Incorrect Quotes time let's go

Under the cut because this is long and i had way too much fun

Jing: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Silver: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

Jing: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Silver: That's why I carry two swords.

Jing: Silver...

Silver: Oh no, 'Silver' in b-flat.

Silver: You're disappointed.

Jing: What is your biggest weakness?

Silver: I can be uncooperative.

Jing: Okay, can you give me an example?

Silver: No.

Jing: So that’s my plan.

Silver: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.

Jing: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.

Silver: It fucking sucks.

Jing: That’s not constructive criticism.

Viola: Is something burning?

Lilia: Just my love for you.

Viola: Lilia, the toaster is on fire.

Jing: Violence isn't the answer.

Silver: You’re right.

Jing: *sighs in relief*

Silver: Violence is the question.

Jing: What?

Silver, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Jing, running after him: NO-

Jing: What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Silver: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.

Jing: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Jing, struggling to keep upright in her 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me

Silver, pointing at her and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

Jing: Silver and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

Silver: Sentences.

Jing: Don't interrupt me.

(My villain arc when-)

Jing: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Silver: I do have a sense of humor you know

Jing: I’ve never heard you laugh before

Silver: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

Silver: Jing, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!

Jing: Well of course I have.

Jing: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Jing: It's boring.

Jing: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

Silver: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

Jing: Here's some advice

Silver: I didn't ask for any

Jing: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

Jing: Fuck.

Silver: We've got to work on your cursing.

Jing: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

Jing: Three words. Say them and I'm yours.

Silver: Three words.

Jing:

(and this's why Viola banned him from the kitchen when they're around)

Jing: Am I in trouble?

Silver: Take a guess.

Jing: No?

Silver: Take another guess.

Viola, talking to Lilia on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?

Lilia: You bet!

Viola: At what temperature?

Lilia: 535.

Viola: That's the clock.

Lilia:

Viola:

Lilia: 536.

Viola: So what’s for dinner?

Lilia, staring at the food he just burned: Regret.

Jing: I made tea.

Silver: I don’t want tea.

Jing: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Silver: Then why are you telling me?

Jing: It is a conversation starter.

Silver: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Jing: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

(Aka Vilia before Lilia got used to amount of kids Viola adopts)

Jing: How many kids do you have?

Viola: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

Viola: You love me, right, Lilia?

Lilia: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

Lilia, pointing: May I sit there?

Viola: That's my lap

Lilia: That doesn't answer my question, Viola.

Jing, pointing: May I sit there?

Silver: That's my lap

Jing: That doesn't answer my question, Silver.

(Decided to do this because of that one Lilia overblot art)

Lilia: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside

Viola:

Viola: Lilia, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...

Lilia: *Sips coffee from bowl*

(First meeting gone wrong maybe?)

Viola: Lilia, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!

Lilia: Well of course I have.

Lilia: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Lilia: It's boring.

Viola: *Accidentally hits Lilia in the face*

Viola: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*

Viola: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

Lilia: What’s wrong with you?!

(Lilia back when he wants violence as a soldier)

Lilia: You saved me. I owe you my life.

Viola: No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.

Viola: Violence isn't the answer.

Lilia: You’re right.

Viola: *sighs in relief*

Lilia: Violence is the question.

Viola: What?

Lilia, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Viola, running after him: NO-

Viola, tending to Lilia's wounds: How would you rate your pain?

Lilia: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

Viola: This is such a bad idea.

Lilia: Then why are you coming along?

Viola: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

(When they look like they died)

Viola: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

Lilia: I wake up at 4:30 AM

Viola:

Viola: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

(Enemies to lovers au maybe)

Viola: What’s up guys? I’m back.

Lilia: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.

Viola: Death is a social construct.

Lilia: So are we flirting right now?

Viola: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU

Lilia: That doesn’t answer my question

Viola: I’m going to take you out

Lilia: great, it’s a date!

Viola: I meant that as a threat.

Lilia: See you at five!

Lilia: *Gets down on one knee*

Viola: Oh my god, it’s finally happening.

Lilia: *Falls over*

Viola: The poison is kicking in.

Viola: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Lilia: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Viola: No! Four to five seconds!

Lilia: Too late!!!

Lilia: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

Viola: What did you do now?

Lilia: A MISTAKE

Viola: Lilia and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

Lilia: Sentences.

Viola: Don't interrupt me.

(I think I saw Lilia as this before but this is too perfect)

Viola: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Lilia, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

Jing: *Stubs her toe* FUCK!

Silver: Mind your language!

Jing: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

Silver:

Jing: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

Lilia: Am I in trouble?

Viola: Take a guess.

Lilia: No?

Viola: Take another guess.

Viola: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Lilia: I think you mean cards.

Viola, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

Viola, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Lilia: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Viola, with the tone of someone who is used to Lilia: Outstanding.

Viola: This is what I’m talking about people

Lilia: I turned out perfectly fine!

Viola: Lilia, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast

Lilia: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

(Add on by me)

Viola: Honey did you forget that I can levitate things with my Magic

Lilia:

Viola:

Viola: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE

Lilia: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially

Viola, desperately, as Lilia bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Lilia: Oh! B positive.

Viola: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Lilia:

Viola: Lilia was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.

Lilia: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.

Viola: Lilia, you ate a chair.

Viola: Where are you going?

Lilia: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there

Viola: This is a mistake

Lilia, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!

Viola: But not today

Lilia, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess

Viola: Hey Lilia can I get a sip of your water?

Lilia: It's not water.

Viola: Vodka, I like your style!

Lilia: It's vinegar.

Viola: Wh-Wha-

Lilia: It's vinegar, COWARD.

Viola: Lilia...

Lilia: Oh no, 'Lilia' in b-flat.

Lilia: You're disappointed.

[rikkadaaaaaaa]

I haven’t seen Lilia or Malleus with the 👁👄👁 face. Can you please provide?

Ofc !!

Warning:cursed

You have been warned.

.

.

Ssc card (super super cursed card)

MALLEUS VERSION 👁👄👁

Malleus : "Y you want tamagochi?"

"Mc : No"

Malleus :

*Music (piece of my world) stops*

-----

Lilia Version 👁👄👁

Mc : "Lilia, you are banned from kitchen"

Lilia :

Lilia : NANIIIIIIIII