#Baekhyun romance

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Can I Stay?

Masterlist

A Baekhyun Story by @soobadnoonecanstopher

Chapter count - 23 + 1 Bonus

Word count - 181,363 (or 650 paperback pages)

Publish date - 06/22/2023

Completion date - 03/21/2024

Summary - What should do you do when your new assistant is much younger than you, much too handsome to be real, and also happens to be the boss’s son? Well first of all, (whoops) you definitely shouldn’t fall in love with him.

Start Reading Here:

Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12,

Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18,

Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, The Letters (Bonus), Part 22 [FINAL]

[idkwhatthisisfuck]

I know you don’t…

Pairing: Baekhyun x OC

Warnings: none

In which OC has inferiority complex and a toxic mindset.

“I know you don’t like expensive things but look what I got you,” Baekhyun mumbles against her skin softly. She looks over her shoulder and squints at the older male as he cranes his neck to fish out something underneath his pillow.

Before she can see the mysterious gift Baekhyun has gotten for her, she catches the mischievous glint in his eyes, just as usual. Like the old times.

And then there was a silver watch. Undoubtedly, from one of those high-end luxury watch brands. Damn, people with money be spending a fortune to invest on something, something like a watch knowing well they could also use digital devices like phones for it nowadays. Is that supposed to be a reminder that no matter how long she’s been lifted up by Baekhyun in terms of living standards, her roots would never change.

“Baek—”

“Shush,” he leans in, sucking softly at her bottom lip. “I know what you’re gonna say. But you’re not working at the diner anymore now, are you? You’re a corporate girl now. There’s nothing wrong with you showing off a little bit. And you’re my girl. My person for me to spend my money on. And you deserve it all. You deserve all the luxury’s in the world. I’m not gonna let those thoughts get to your head, you hear me?”

She wants to laugh. Those thoughts. Baekhyun, you have no idea. The way he said “Those thoughts”— as if he knows she’ll never fucking measure up.

Golden boy Baekhyun saved his low-class wife from going through living hell, working seven days in a week for a minimum wage, living paycheck to paycheck with zero savings for her future. She should be grateful for that. Right?

Baekhyun I want to wait until my car’s paid off. The look on Baekhyun’s face was nothing but comical. These kinds of people… they have enough in their lives to not have gone through how harsh it could go out there being born without privilege.

I mean— I- I could help you with that now. He had said that time.

And here they are.

Tears that probably won’t see the light of the day well up behind her lids. She can’t crumble. Not in front of him. But every time Baekhyun comes up with stuff like this, she feels her ego falling apart. Like a bitch slap that rubs in her face to remind she’s still nothing. No matter how many gold and glitters Baekhyun adorns her with, she will never be more than a person who never fits in. In fact, she dulls the gold and goodness. She looks at the watch sitting still on his palm. And then she looks at Baekhyun, who is watching, who likes to study every little expression her face makes. Baekhyun probably is someone who has the biggest heart she knows in life. Why can’t she learn anything from him? Maybe if she was born privileged, she would be a decent person like him too.

With a trembling hand and a heavy heart, she takes the million-dollar-worth watch out of his hand. “Thank you, Baekhyun. I love it so much.” With that, she plants a soft kiss on his lips.

She tries to force out a smile. Baekhyun beams. In that moment, the things she sees in Baekhyun’s eyes are love, adoration and sincerity. Unlike someone else when they pretend to be happy. Baekhyun’s eyes have always been genuine, endearing and so full of life. Baekhyun never pretends. Baekhyun never half-asses a smile, or a compliment.

She can’t lie the fact that the way his soft eyes keep darting down to her lips is sending her brain and heart to overdrive. She doesn’t dislike being tied down to him. It’s just that…

“Tell me you love me then.”

Her throat closes. Does she?

“I love you, Baekhyun.”

Do I really?

[exosmutfactory]

Wanna Be Yours 001

Originally posted by tipannies

Maybe not all good girls are good, and not all bad boys are bad. It’s all about perspective and experience, for not everything in life is a clear black or white. Sometimes you will find gray, brown, or silver… Possibilities are endless. And Byun Baekhyun is too god damn fine to resist.

◤“Stop smoking, it isn’t attractive.” “Stop swearing, it isn’t either.” “Fuck you.” “When.”◢

Main Masterlist | Bookclub zone | Chapter 1✓

networks — @/superm-net @/bbh-net

pairing — Baekhyun x Monica (OC)

word count — 3.8k

genre — biker! baekhyun, bad boy! baekhyun, enemies to lovers! romance, slight angst, fluff, smut (one chap - eventually)

[ This chapter contains: an introduction 🚲 ]

A/N: Hello! I'm introducing one of my AFF-exclusive, BBH stories to Tumblr! I'm posting this chapter to see if readers on here want to read it 🥰 This story doesn't have a tag list, so let me know if you wanna be tagged for future chapters either in my ask box or the comment section! 🌸 I'll continue writing this when I finish my other story: Only Forever 🌊

Chapter 1

Look around, lovely

I’ve been through many things in my life. From my ex leaving me for a “slim thick” girl who lived three blocks away to my best friend, making it their goal to break my spirit from the inside out. I had to cut ties with my treacherous family. I had to change my name, eye color, and wear a purple wig to flee from another crazy ex to Hawaii. I almost had to file for bankruptcy when my twin sister bought three foreign sports cars in my name.

—I’ve been through a lot, but I never expected to find myself in the middle of this shitstorm.

“Yo, Chen, move your ass!”

“I’m almost there!” This so-called Chen hisses into his phone, tugging me behind him by my arm. He glares back at me when I stumble over a recycling bin. “Shut it.” His grip turns painful when I slow down my pace. He stomps hurriedly down shaded alleyways and dimly lit streets. I'd scoff at his audacity if I wasn’t so busy trying to form a plan to escape and not fall flat on my face in the process.

“Yo bitch.” He throws another nasty look over his shoulder, “keep up, will ya?”

My eyes narrow as I purposely stomp on the back of his foot. “Oops,” I chirp when he yelps, hiding my smirk while he curses and hobbles on one leg. “Guess that’s too close, eh?”

He bares his teeth at me. The smirk quickly falls off my lips when the ground is suddenly approaching my face at an alarming rate.

I brace my hands against the pavement at the last second, but my right arm buckles under my weight, sliding my frantic hands across the rugged surface, scraping against the sidewalk with a painful burn. I groan at the fire hot pain shooting up my forearm.

“Oops,” he mocks, his leather boots stepping into view. He bends down in front of me with a tilt of his head. “Guess that was too soon, huh?” His victory smirk on his curled lips would have been sexy if I didn’t have the urge to punch him in his pretty face.

I keep my eyes on him, slowly bringing myself back to my feet. It takes everything in me to ignore the pulsing pain in my knees and the warm liquid running down my elbow as he stands back to his full height. His unimpressive 5’8 stature seems intimidating while I’m poorly hiding my injured arm behind my back. It doesn't help that he has a tattoo of a snake on his bicep, the green ink peeking out from under the sleeve of his black t-shirt. He’s not tall, but he is buff, and that is enough for me to keep my mouth shut... for now.

He runs his eyes over my quiet defensive stance, his smirk turning even more cruel before he yanks me forward by my injured arm. “If we’re late, that’s your ass.”

I roll my eyes to distract myself from the tears threatening to fall, biting my tongue. My hands and arm throb painfully in sync. That hurt like a bitch and he’s two seconds away from being smacked like one.

After walking a few more empty blocks, the rev of an engine reaches my ears—and it’s not from a car. My heart plummets when the realization sets in and the beaming headlights of shiny black vehicles come into view. Two motorcycles stop a few feet away from us in a deserted parking lot. The riders are wearing black helmets with matching clothes, blending in with the night. Their faces are shaded under the dim light of the moon when they take their helmets off.

Dusk is on the rise, concealing the moon behind thick clouds as the world waits for the sun to peek over the horizon. The darkest hour of the night… Looking around at the buff asshole and two newcomers, I can only hope that I’ll make it to see the sunrise. I swallow my nerves while Chen impatiently drags me over to the others.

The guy on the left is the first one to notice us. He shakes his hair, the brunette strands catching light before he switches off the headlights. He’s tall with beautifully toned skin, whistling when we step off of the sidewalk. “Damn hyung, took you long enough.”

Chen shrugs. “Catching the prize was a bit of a struggle.” He rattles my arm for emphasis, his smirk visible under a flickering streetlight.

“Oh?” The brunette’s eyes trail over me, focusing on my pulsing arm before shifting back to the prick next to me. “Looks a bit like damaged goods, hyung.”

“That wouldn’t be the case if it had acted accordingly.” He shrugs, nonchalantly looking me over.

My eyes and mouth twitch. It is really taking everything in me not to say something.

“Hopefully hyung doesn’t mind,” The other tall guy speaks up, eyeing me warily while I stare at his unnaturally orange hair.

“Byun won’t do shit,” Chen waves him off, pulling me closer to a parked bike three parking spaces away. “He hasn’t before and he won’t start now.”

The orange-top guy starts to reply until a loudly revved engine fills the air, announcing the arrival of more motorcycles entering the deserted parking lot. I glare at the biker driving in front, from his laid back posture alone he must be the leader.

“Baekhyun!” Chen yells into the still night with a cocky grin, laughing gleefully. “So happy for you to finally join us. I feared we’d start without you.”

The leader calmly parks his bike a couple of feet away, pulling off his helmet while the other five bikers join him. I bite my cheek to hold back my gasp when his face is revealed. What I expected was some forty-year-old gang member with a huge tattoo, crooked beard, and salt/pepper hair. Not a twenty-something-year-old with one of the most attractive faces I’ve ever seen in my life.

His light brown hair ruffles in the wind, the salty scent of the sea rolling in. He shakes his bangs out of his eyes, looking at the man next to me with a blank expression on his face. Baekhyun’s eyes slowly follow Chen’s arm down to my own in his tight grasp. His eyes linger on my injured arm, the clench of his jaw and flare of his nostrils has my eyes shooting down to look at it myself.

The sight of blood steadily dripping from my ripped sleeve has me wincing. I bite my lip hard to hold back a pain-filled whimper.

Baekhyun cuts his eyes back to Chen with a murderous glare, “Jongdae.” He hisses venomously.

Chen stiffens, his grip loosening on my arm, “Byun?” He’s caught off guard, the confusion rings loudly in his uncertain voice.

“What the fuck is this?” Baekhyun looks at my arm then at him again, his voice growing louder by the minute. “Why the hell is she bleeding?”

“She wasn’t…” Willing to come? Willing to follow a stranger? Willing to get pulled out of a store for nothing? “Very compliant.”

“And you brought her here anyway?” Baekhyun gives him an incredulous look, his eyes narrowed at the latter’s silence. “What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Do.”

I shift on my feet, highly uncomfortable just witnessing this exchange. The other bikers watching them quietly doesn’t calm my nerves in the slightest. I know one thing for certain—the tension can be cut with a knife, and I’m not about to be in the middle of this hell much longer.

“I was walking with her down the street, and she fell.” Chen chooses to say.

I crack my neck when I whip it around to face him. “Really?” I snap. “You purposely yanked me forward and let go, yet dare say I fucking fell?!”

Chen scowls at me. “Well if you weren’t being such a bi‒” He pales when I sense a dark aura behind me.

I turn around to a furious Baekhyun. His brown eyes blaze brightly in anger amongst the pitch darkness of the night, the wind tousling his hair across his forehead. The urge to take a step back is high until I remember who is right behind me. Baekhyun takes one look at me then turns his fire-filled gaze to the fearful man behind me. “I’ll deal with you later.”

I look down at the sudden hand gently grabbing my uninjured arm, meeting Baekhyun’s eyes before he takes a step back. And for some reason; I follow. He keeps his eyes steady on mine before turning to address the others. “I’m calling it off.” His gaze meets every individual one of theirs. “Any objections?”

No one even so much as moves.

Baekhyun firmly nods, peering down at me with a raised brow. “Come with me?” Even while he asks, I’m already being led over to his bike. He grabs his helmet and pauses, turning to me, the dim street lights reflecting the mysterious glint in his brown eyes. “Have you ridden a motorcycle before?”

I look at the bike then back at him, narrowing my eyes. “Are you planning to kill me with it?”

The corner of his lips twitch up, “that’s a no then. May I?”

Eyeing the helmet in his hands, I nod, quickly muttering, “if I die, I’m suing you,” when he starts to place it on my head.

Baekhyun chuckles. “Don’t worry.” He adjusts the helmet with a teasing little grin, his voice low enough for only me to hear. “You’re in good hands.”

“Uh huh—oof!” I yelp when he suddenly lifts me up and sets me on the back of his vehicle—that seems one hundred times more intimidating now that I’m sitting on it. “I swear, Byun, if I fall‒”

“You won’t.” Baekhyun affirms. He throws his leg over the motorcycle and climbs onto it with grace, throwing one last look back at me before starting the engine. It purrs in a way I’ve never heard before. The low, crispy sound vibrates through my entire body when his deep voice reaches my ears. “Hold on tight.”

When he revs the engine, I wrap my arms tightly around his waist. The fear of death is greater than the pulsing of my bleeding arm. We speed out into the street, the others becoming mere specks of shadowy figures in the distance as we go further down the dirt road.

My eyes stay partially closed until I remember that I’m wearing a helmet, and if anyone has to do that its Baekhyun. Which is fucking scary considering the fact that he is the one driving! Steering this two-wheeled vehicle that tilts side to side depending on the gravitational pull of the earth and the wind.

I flinch when we roll over a bump in the road, gripping the front of Baekhyun’s shirt. I can’t tell if it’s the motorcycle or his chuckles causing the vibrations in his chest when I rest my head on his back. The sun is slowly rising, pale light peeking over the horizon. It bounces off of the calm ocean water in the distance. It’s fascinating, how the ocean and the cloudy sky meet, like a snowglobe full of cascading sparkles.

The blur of buildings comes into focus when we slow down, Baekhyun resting his feet on the ground when we reach a red light. Recognizing the slightly run-down buildings, my heart rate picks up. “Baekhyun? Where are we going?” I ask warily. Instead of replying, he pats my clenched fist in a pacifying manner and takes off once the light switches to green.

Gulping down my nerves, I make sure to take note of every street we go down in case I have to hightail my ass out of wherever we are headed. The sight of small brick houses and wide front porches brings a wave of nostalgia over me—and not in a good way. All I can do is hold onto him and hope I stay in one piece until we reach our destination. The weight of my knife concealed in my left boot gives me little reassurance.

We start to slow down on a street that welcomes us with the largest maple tree that I’ve ever seen, followed by small but surprisingly well-kept homes. It’s pretty for the infamous neighborhood that we are in, and the house we stop in front of in particular is the nicest one.

Baekhyun drives up the driveway and parks, getting off the motorcycle with grace before helping me down as well. I flinch when I try to straighten my injured arm. It hurts worse than it did earlier, burning every time my denim jacket sways in the wind and brushes against it. I keep my arm bent at the elbow while clutching it to my chest.

Baekhyun notices but doesn’t say anything. He walks up to the house while I linger behind, taking in the flower-filled yard. Pretty pink roses and beautifully bloomed dandelions take up most of the land. Growing steadily alongside the driveway and sidewalk, their healthy petals awaiting the sunlight.

“Hey.”

Turning back to Baekhyun, he crosses his arms and leans against the doorframe of the open door. The sun shines down on his caramel-colored coat, black graphic tee shirt, and leather pants. The more I look at him, the more confused I get. How on earth is he in a bike gang? He has no visible tattoos, no piercings. The only things “gangsta” about him are his sharp brown eyes, confident stance, and authoritative aura.

Baekhyun clears his throat, jolting me from my thoughts. He raises a brow with a tilt of his head, the corner of his lips twitching. “Come in.” He disappears into the house before I can give any sort of reply.

Pulling my phone out of my bra, I snap a picture of the street sign and send it to my friend so they know my whereabouts—just in case. I tuck it back under my shirt and take one last look at the quiet neighborhood before entering the house.

The only way I can describe the interior is warm. With light brown walls and darker carpeted floors. The living room alone is full of worn-in couches with pretty throw blankets. When I start to take off my shoes, Baekhyun pops up, shaking his head, “there’s more dirt on this floor than out in the yard.”

He walks off into another part of the house with his heeled boots and loud footsteps. I spot a bright orange crumpled leaf and a patch of dried grass in the center of the room. Heeding his advice, I take a wary glance at the unlocked door before going to look for him. Walking to the other side of the living room, I’m met with a doorway to the kitchen on my left and a hallway to my right. Finding no sign of Baekhyun in the tidy room, I venture down the hall.

“In here,” he calls out just as I pass the first door on the left.

Backtracking a few steps, I look inside the bathroom while he rummages in the cabinet under the sink. My eyes move back to him when he swears.

“I know I left it somewhere,” he mumbles just as his eyes caught sight of something. With a tug, he pulls back to close the doors, standing up with a familiar red box in his hands. “Have a seat,” he beckons me over, gesturing to the closed toilet lid with his chin.

I settle myself on the cold surface, the white porcelain chilling my skin through my jeans. Watching him carefully while he sets the first-aid kit beside the sink and takes out antibacterial wipes. When he reaches for my arm I flinch back.

Baekhyun gives me a look. “May I?”

Sighing deeply and gritting my teeth, I nod with a roll of my eyes, slowly taking off my ripped jacket and dropping it in the bathtub. I look away when he draws nearer with the wipe, clenching my hand into a fist. The sting brings tears to my eyes.

After what feels like hours, Baekhyun gets to work on the gauze, gently wrapping it around my arm and taping it together. I take a few deep breaths as he moves over to the sink, focusing on the sound of running water instead of the irritated skin of my scratched palms.

“You won’t need stitches,” Baekhyun murmurs thoughtfully, his voice breaking the silence, echoing across the tiled walls of the room. He dries his hands on an indigo blue towel hanging from a high bathroom rack attached to the wall. “...Are you okay?”

The hint of concern in his voice is surprising, it prompts my eyes shift over to him. “Yea—Fuck!” I hiss loudly, quickly bending my elbow back to its position. The tender wound throbs painfully in sync with my racing heartbeat.

His brows raise. He crosses his arms, leaning his hip against the counter and giving me another knowing look. I only glare back at him.

Baekhyun sighs tiredly. “I’ll get you an Advil.” He shakes his head, making his way out of the room and venturing further down the hallway. I clutch my arm to my chest, sending a quick text to my friend to come pick me up. Thankfully she’s right around the block, passing through the neighborhood on her way back home from work.

A smile curls on my lips when she sends a picture of the great maple tree at the nearest red light. The bandages crinkle when I stand up, grabbing my jacket and tentatively closing the first-aid kit before heading back towards the front of the house. Heavy footsteps have my head whipping back around to find Baekhyun in the hallway with a box of Advil in his hands. “Hey,” he cracks an awkward smile, his hair slightly disheveled.

I narrow my eyes at him.

The smile slowly falls off his face. He clears his throat, gesturing to the box in his hand. “I got you the Advil.”

“I see.” I don’t take my eyes off of him for a minute, shifting my weight so I can retrieve my knife if the need arises. His body language is off and his intentions are not clear. I make sure to keep distance between us; I’ve been in this situation a million times before. Whatever he is trying to achieve with this small talk, I am not up for sticking around to find out.

“Do you, uh‒” he runs a hand through his hair. “Do you need a ride?”

“No, I called a friend,” I smile tightly.

“Oh.” His hand falls down to his side. He shoves it into his pocket and outstretches the box in his hand towards me. “Here, half the box is left. You probably need them more than‒” his eyes catch mine and he clears his throat again, “me.”

I look him up and down and carefully take the box from his hand, avoiding making any contact. My lips twitch in a mixture of amusement and annoyance. “Thanks.”

Baekhyun nods, shoving both hands in his pockets, the velvet green underside of his coat showing when he parts his lips again. “About what happened earli‒”

The rev of a sports car engine cuts him off. “Hop in, bitch!” my best friend yells, breaking the tranquil atmosphere of this shady neighborhood in the early hours of the morning. “We’re going home!”

I glance at the open door then shoot him a forced, polite smile. “Thanks um… Baekhyun, was it? But there’s my ride. I got to go.”

Baekhyun nods while I make sure I have everything, tucking the box of medicine under my good arm. “See you around,” he speaks up when I’m halfway through the door.

Darting my eyes back to him with my hand on the screen door, I smile my fakest smile, letting it slam shut behind me. “Bye!” With a roll of my eyes, I match down the driveway to my friend’s car and hop in with a passive-aggressive smile.

“What the hell happened to your arm?” she raises a perfectly arched brow.

“A situation you never want to be in while shopping for hairspray, Alison. Now drive.”

Part 1✓ | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 |

A/N: If you would like me to continue posting this story on Tumblr, reblog or comment to let me know! (^-^)

[keehomania]

cr: nyellaa_ (tiktok)

this is THE drama like this is THE ultimate drama. guys moon lovers is such a timeless masterpiece, idk if i regret not watching it when it was popular or if i regret watching it at all. youth of may, 2521, snowdrop, etc have nothing on moon lovers wallah. this is the most heartbreaking show i’ve ever watched and also one of the best. they ease you into the show with the first ten episodes, make you think you’re in for a historical rom-com. loud and wrong! every twist and death was heartbreaking and the ending ruined me because it’s not even a regular, oh she’s dead, type shit. it's like, he thinks she’s dead and he’ll NEVER see her again because it’s the past, but she’s alive and has to spend the rest of her life remembering him and she can never go back because IT’S THE PAST. that’s so painful fuck this show ngl it’s the one drama i’ll never rewatch. hope this HELPS! 💜

[zaynab8]

People write the history of their lives around their happiest moments. But no one ever really knows what will happen on the next page. So they make promises in their lives they can't keep, and laugh like those bright moments will last forever. But life has plenty of darkness hidden behind that radiant happiness. So when all the good things disappeared in an instant, and life became so difficult that I wanted to rip out all the pages, I thought to myself "Okay, so I had some bad things happen to me, but at least I had you." That was the only thing that got me through it.

Queen of Tears, 2024

[chaerrry]

Divulgação presentes de niver. Filhota, lulu 💖

[kpopimagi]

A Flower Under The Rain [Part 14]

Characters: Baekhyun, Kyungsoo and Kang Gyuri (OC) Genre: Angst, Romance Au: Hanahaki!Au  Type: Series  Word count: 8,012

It all began with a cough and then, a subtle sting in her chest. Kang Gyuri cried, knowing that in a matter of months, she would be another figure in the death toll of the most dangerous and cruelest outbreak in human history.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8-1 | Part 8-2 | Part 9 | Part 10-1 | Part 10-2 | Part 11-1 | Part 11-2 | Part 12 | Part 13

Gyuri opened her eyes after what felt like a minute. Her entire body was sore, and the excruciating pain felt like an old memory she was grateful to leave behind her. A joyful holler caught her attention, waking her up, and she found herself lost for a moment. The room had gotten smaller in a way, enclosed by a greenish curtain, and then another happy holler diverted her attention from her surroundings to find someone sitting next to her bed. 

A guy.

A stranger.

The unknown person sat in an office chair with his legs propped up in a very childlike manner, and the most curious detail was that he was barefoot. She could barely make out the features of his face, but a protruding pout behind a very wild pinkish fringe. He was so focused on his phone, where the happy sounds kept popping as he tapped his fingers on the screen that he wasn’t aware of her staring.

When she finally moved, the stranger paused the game and hid the phone to smile at her when he realized he was being watched. He was too handsome, his smile too charming, and his eyes were so intently looking at her that Gyuri wanted to pull the bedsheet over her head and hide.

“Hello.” He said in an overly cute manner, and too taken aback, she barely mumbled the greeting back, making the guy smile wider. “I’m Kai.” 

He introduced himself as if that meant something, and Gyuri wondered if she was dead. She looked around, but there was no one else in the room but the handsome, bronze-skinned stranger and herself.

“Are you a doctor?” She finally asked.

“Sort of,” he said with certain amusement, rocking his chair from left to right. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen all my hyungs so animated. They begged me to come.”

As if something new had occurred to him, he sat down straight and rolled himself closer to the bed until he had his face at the same level as her. Gyuri was transfixed by his childlike curiosity as he observed her.

“I had to meet the woman who has all of their tighty-whities in a twist.” He said, his eyes sparkling in awe.

“Kyungsoo doesn’t wear tighty-whities.” Gyuri replied even before her head registered what she just said.

“You’ve seen him with his clothes off.” Kai added with a playful smirk.

Gyuri felt her entire face heat up, and every bit of her skin crawled in utter mortification. She refused the claim as fast and as vehemently as she could, but the guy seated in front of her burst out laughing, so loud, so high-pitched, and so contagious that Gyuri almost forgot why she was embarrassed in the first place.

“So you’re funny and pretty.” He said, shrinking into his seat as if that admission was too much to handle, “I get why Kyungsoo hyung likes you so much.”

“Jongin, you can’t be here.” Dr. Kim came into the room, interrupting the stranger.

“Kai, hyung, my name is Kai.” He said with an annoyed pout, “How many times am I going to tell you?”

“Just because you’re a brilliant chemist, it doesn’t mean you're a genius in everything else.” Dr. Kim said, grabbing the guy by the shoulders and starting to wheel him away from her bed.

Kai, Jongin, or whoever he was at the time, slouched and pouted in the most dramatic manner while complaining about not revealing who he was, citing "for obvious reasons” but that were not at all obvious.

“I’m so sorry that he’s bothering you, Gyuri.” The doctor apologized.

"I was establishing a rapport with my client." Kai said, grabbing her bed's metal frame and pulling her with him.

The doctor scolded him immediately, and the guy caved in, letting the bed go to stand up and bring up a black case out of somewhere. Without saying much, he opened it, and that finally made the doctor stop with his scolding.

“Kyungsoo hyung is paying me to mix for her,” the guy said with sudden confidence, “that makes her my client.”

“What’s that?” Gyuri asked.

Her question broke their intense staring contest. Giving the doctor an I told you so look, Kai retrieved the chair from his grasp and sat down right back next to her. He showed her the case and revealed an assortment of small, colorful glass vials. He brought up a purple one for her to see.

“A painkiller.” He said, giving the vial to her, “the best one on the market.”

“What’s different from the one nurse Kim is giving me?”

Kai smiled at her, and she felt her cheeks heating up again, this time for a very different reason. The smile on his face wasn’t a smile at all but a smirk, inviting and playful, almost seductive, and Gyuri felt remorseful for falling into it so much.

“Those ones knock you out.” He started, making her come back to the matter at hand: “Mine don’t.”

“That sounds good.” Gyuri wondered out loud.

She realized she had no idea what day it was. She just dozed off, and for all she knew, it could’ve been days since that happened. It had been only seconds, and the idea of being awake and present seemed extremely appealing.

“Wanna try then?” Kai asked, and the smirk on his face was even more alluring than before, if that could even be possible.

Gyuri accepted. She wanted to feel better. She hated the missing days and the lost moments. Smiling back at her, Kai pulled a cart closer to grab a syringe. The action made nurse Kim jump at him almost immediately. And if it was all a joke to him, with a mocking face, Kai put surgical gloves on and grabbed the smallest syringe Gyuri had ever seen to fill it with the purple liquid barely up to the first line. 

“That’s it?” The nurse asked, grabbing the syringe and getting ready to put it into Gyuri’s IV.

“It’s highly addictive,” Kai said with a serious tone, making the nurse halt to look over at the doctor waiting for his order, “and I need to monitor you closely. I’m not sure how the bug will react to it.” 

“I’ve told you before, Jongin,” the doctor intervened, “it’s not a parasite.”

“It feeds off whatever it wants,” Jongin added with an annoyed shrug. "It sounds like a parasite to me, and my name is Kai.”

The argument kept on going, and Gyuri panicked. She never thought about it in that way, and the idea of a living insect moving on her back made a chill run through her entire body. The machines started beeping around her as desperation took over, while everyone around her blurred in movement.

As suddenly as the world distorted, it all went away when she locked eyes with the guy who had now pushed the plunger of painkillers into her IV. Kai was smirking at her as he observed her with his eyes just as dark and alluring. If she had to guess, it was almost as if he was challenging her to look away first, which she did when her cheeks burned in a sudden wave of shyness she had never felt before.

Slowly, as she reminded herself that she was bedridden and sick, Gyuri finally noticed a machine beeping faster and faster as she recalled dark and dangerous eyes. She heard someone tell her to remember how to breathe when all she could feel was her heart hammering in her chest.

“You’re making her hyperventilate.” Doctor Kim scolded Kai while nudging him out of the way.

“I guess it works just fine.” He mumbled, sitting back into the chair with a cocky smile, “That was my basic formula, so all I need is a batch of fresh blood samples, an iced Americano, and in a couple of hours, I’ll have a new custom mix for you.”

The next couple of minutes went by so fast that she was suddenly breathing just fine and alone with Kai once again. He was nice enough to stop his flirtatious quibs as he monitored, just like he said, her reaction to the painkiller. Suddenly, he produced a notebook and a cute bear pen, and he seemed to have lost interest in everything else.

“You’re a drug dealer.” Gyuri said after a while, and the offended look in his eyes amused her.

“No.” He said sternly, “I’m just a chemist who happened to find a very profitable market.”

“Out of sick people.” Gyuri interjected, which seemed to disarm the guy for a second.

“Well, people find relief, and I get paid.” Kai said with a shrug, “Who needs charity?”

Gyuri stifled a laugh. She couldn’t argue with that. She did feel better. Her back was finally numb, and her mind was sharp and clear for the first time in a long time. She even dared herself to move a little, just to make sure, and her mind reeled with possibilities when there wasn’t a pang of paralyzing pain when she did.

She was considering the idea of sitting up and observed the chemist still writing down stuff on his cutesy notebook when a door opened quite abruptly. Gyuri couldn’t see who it was. Her back was to the door, and she wouldn’t care if it wasn’t for the expression on Kai’s face. He barely even moved as he looked up, and his dark eyes stared at whoever came into the room with an intensity that alarmed her.The sound of someone clearing their throat was all it took to instantly calm her down.

She could recognize the timber of that voice anywhere. She had once been a slave to it. While everything about her rejoiced at the sound, her heart, sitting at the very core of her, calmed down, almost to a lull. 

“Is that him?” Kai wondered under his breath, his eyes sweeping up and down from a distance, “Really?”

Despite barely moving from his seat, the chemist gave her a patronizing stare before Gyuri heard that voice shyly greet him, forcing him to look away. Soon after, Baekhyun walked into her sightlines, dressed up in a surgical gown and dragging an IV stand.

“It wasn’t a dream.” She mumbled. “Was it?”

“Which part?” He asked, “That I’m gracing you with my presence?”

Kai scoffed, but Gyuri laughed, possibly for the first time in weeks. She nearly burst out laughing when Baekhyun sheepishly jumped into his bed, struggling to keep his butt covered with the stupid, flimsy hospital gown. He endured her teasing with stoicism, only because it meant her giggles would float around every corner of the sterile room. Even he felt lighter to hear her voice without pain, without restraints, without any regrets, and the next couple of days were quite blissful after that. They spent hours talking, chating about nothing important, as if their hospital beds didn’t exist and the IV drips weren’t even there. 

Kai sauntered into the room every morning with his characteristic alluring flair. He would administer her daily dose of the drug, observe her reaction for a couple of minutes, write stuff on his cutesy notebook, and would throw some snarky remarks to Baekhyun at the end, leaving him completely flabbergasted. As if that was all the chemist wanted, he would disappear for the rest of the day, much to her disappointment. Kyungsoo was nowhere to be seen either. She didn’t dare to ask about him. Her mind was still too cloudy to recall anything that had happened. What she remembered from the fragments that did come to her mind were his weary eyes, the unadulterated emotion in his voice when he pleaded with her to tell the truth, and the look of rage on his face when she refused. He was most likely disappointed at her, and even if everything in her wished to see him again, she kept it all to herself.

Gyuri focused her energy on enjoying her present, where Baekhyun was her roommate and he was there solely for her. The change in her mood was noticeable. She felt stronger, she looked better, and her mind was clear. Having Baekhyun next to her was as liberating as she imagined it would be, but despite all of that, his presence didn't erase the dark shadow looming between them. Neither of them addressed the subject even when their conversations always ended up at the same issue: the reason they were there in the first place.

One day, during the shift change, and taking advantage of a couple of hours of quiet false privacy, Baekhyun rolled to his side and observed her. Gyuri had her eyes closed, but she wasn’t sleeping. He just knew. They had been watching a television show and arguing about who had the best comedic timing that he knew wasn’t possible for her to fall asleep that fast.

“Gyuri…” He called her, and she hummed in response. “Are you still awake?”

She hummed again but kept her eyes closed as a small smile spread across her face. For a second, he considered letting her rest and just watching her sleep in peace, but he had to know.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He whispered.

Baekhyun saw the tiny twitch on her features, and the peaceful smile disappeared. She was still awake; that was clear, but her eyes stayed closed, and he waited for an answer that never came.

It was better to pretend he never asked. Gyuri spent the next couple of days as if nothing of the sort happened, and everything in the villa fell into a somewhat routine. She would start every morning with the early visits from Kai and Nurse Kim to take the daily blood samples. After that, the most embarrassing one, the sanitary duties, and then the doctors would show up for the daily checkup. It was somehow a tedious task that happened every eight hours. She would be stripped down naked, and they would document every change in her body, from the growth of the spikes protruding on her back to the smallest shift of her teeth or the coloring in the bruises on her skin. Nothing on her body would change without them knowing.

Gyuri had been too out of herself to care about it. And as much as she felt better with Kai’s mixes, the clarity of mind came with a price. She was conscious enough to be aware and to feel embarrassed by her daily routine. She had to remind herself that her body wasn’t the same and that the doctors had seen plenty of sick bodies before. She kept telling herself that she was just another body in their research. Nothing else, nothing more.

After all that, her mother would come in to feed her breakfast, which consisted of mushed stews and suspicious chunky drinks. By that time she was too tired already, and after taking a nap, nurse Kim was back to take another batch of samples. Then it was time for the worst part of the day: work out.

Nurse Kim straight up put her through a whole workout session. Keeping her limbs mobile was crucial, even though she could hardly move. She had to push her joints a little, even if she cursed through it all. She knew she would have already become a tree if nurse Kim hadn't been so strict about the exercise repetitions. Even though she ended up being so exhausted that she was barely able to stay awake for the remainder of the day. 

That was her new reality; however, it was a new day, and her daily schedule was already different. The doctors explained the procedure to her and her parents the day before, and she knew the implications of the results. They had scanned her back to the smallest detail, but they needed to know the layers of the structure. How deeply rooted it actually was to her flesh and mapping the organism could answer a lot of the questions, doctor Kim and doctor Zhang still had about the disease.

When the whole team entered the room early that morning, Gyuri was already awake, and they all stopped at the sight. She was waiting for them, seated up in her bed, crouched. She wasn't, but the hump on her back gave the impression that she was ready to leap on them like a beast. It wasn't just the posture that made them hesitate but the look in her eyes.

“Good morning.” She greeted the doctor.

“You’re in a good mood this morning.” Dr. Kim greeted her back, showing her his characteristic kind smile.

“Yeah, today is a good day.”

He hesitated, staring at her, considering and observing her just as much as she held his eyes, in an unspoken conversation.

“May I ask why?” He finally asked, pulling his light pen out.

“It occurred to me that,” Gyuri said as she let the doctor shine the small light into her eyes. “I can change the world.”

The already quiet room went even quieter, and they all looked at her, stunned. Even the doctor seemed taken aback for a moment, and the sudden attention on her made something in her shift back into the old anxious and shy Gyuri. They all saw the fire in her eyes, dimmering down.

“Or maybe not,” she shrugged, aware of every pair of eyes observing her with curiosity, “that can happen too.”

Gyuri added with the lightest tone she could muster, trying to shrug pretensiousness in the comment off. It worked in a way, or so she decided it did, when the doctor gave her a small yet undecipherable smile and everyone around her resumed whatever they were doing.

“But as long as I stay alive,” she said under her breath, loud enough for only doctor Kim to hear her, “there’s always a chance I might, right?”

“Absolutely,” he said, with a kind tone, although the smile he always showed her barely reached his eyes, “and it’s my duty to make sure that everything we’re getting from you doesn’t go to waste. I promise.”

Perhabs it was the seriousness in his voice or the lack of his comforting smile, but Gyuri believed him. She knew she could rely on him, and after taking that leap of faith, she felt a great deal of guilt.

“Where’s Kyungsoo?” She asked, and her voice sounded even softer than she expected.

“He must be somewhere around.” The doctor said, although she could tell he was not telling her all the truth about it. “I’ll tell him to be here when you wake up.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you ready?” He asked.

This time, the kindness in his voice was back to the kind of tone that she trusted and assured her that everything would be alright, and that filled her with a confidence that brought a smile to her face.

“Let’s change the world.”

***

After a hectic week of taking every possible test available on earth, Kyungsoo was released with flying colors, but the steadiness had become unbearable. He wasn't needed for questioning any more and could leave if he wanted. He could go back to Seoul to attempt to keep on with his life, but there was nothing else for him there, so he stayed on the premises, wandering around but always ending up in the monitoring room. 

He spent most of his time there, watching over her, just making sure she was still alive. He held on to the primal relief he felt every single time she made the smallest movement, as small as to move a hand, because it meant she was still there, still fighting.

Just like any other day, Kyungsoo set himself in the room and saw Junmyeon taking her away to the operating room for the new mapping procedure. But now, the stillness was even more intolerable. Suddenly, he didn’t even have her on the monitors to find some peace. All he could do was wait with the unknown.

A couple of hours later, he saw movement on the screen as Jongdae and Yixing wheeled the bed with a heavily sedated Gyuri into her side of the room while Junmyeon talked to her parents. He saw Baekhyun observing the nurse carefully working around her and making sure she was safely and comfortably in her place. It was an innocuous picture in itself if he didn’t know them so well. He looked at different screens from different angles, and in all of them, he could see the frown in Junmyeon’s face. He had seen it so many times before when the doctor found himself in a corner, and he was certain of it when he caught Yixing observing Gyuri in her bed as if he was too dumbfounded to leave.

They found something.

Something bad.

Kyungsoo scrambled out of the small monitoring room, his heart racing at the endless possibilities, and found the doctors leaving the room in a heavy silence. He saw it right. Something was wrong.

“What happened?” He asked,

“I need to interview Baekhyun again.” Junmyeon mumbled.

“What do you expect to find?” The writer asked, expecting the worst when Yixing and Jongdae joined them, seemingly just as dumbstruck as the doctor.

“I don’t know.” The doctor said more to himself, “But there’s something we’re missing.”

“Hyung, why hasn’t it killed her yet?” Jongdae asked, as he ordered stuff in his little supply cart, “What is it waiting for?”

“Jongdae, bring Baekhyun to the main office.” Junmyeon ordered, avoiding the question that sent a chill down the writer’s spine. “We’ll have him look at the timeline. Let’s see how he reacts to it and what he might add.”

As if he had been ordered himself, Kyungsoo moved along with his friends and followed them back to the office. He grabbed a tablet he found nearby, sat down on the makeshift waiting area, and waited as he felt his heart beating in his ears.

Once the cameras were set up between the desks, Jongdae came in, followed by a reluctant Baekhyun, as he looked around, taking in everything in the office. Kyungsoo pretended to be busy on the tablet, although he had grabbed it more like a desperate attempt to keep his heart from beating its way out of his chest.

“We have several questions, Baekhyun.” Junmyeon said, casually sitting in a chair in front of Baekhyun as Yixing also sat nearby, “Introduce yourself.”

“My name is Byun Baekhyun.” He started, his voice steady, “I’m 28 years old, and I’m from Bucheon.”

“What were the circumstances in which you met Gyuri?” Junmyeon asked, writing something down on his clipboard.

“College. We shared some lectures during her first year.”

“What’s your relationship with her?”

“We’re friends.”

“Have you ever wanted to be more than friends?”

“No.“ He said and immediately shook his head, “Yes.” 

The doctor did not react to his indecisiveness, and Baekhyun just stared back at them.

"No,” he said firmly.

“Do you love her?”

“I do.”

“But you don’t reciprocate the affection she has for you?”

“What the hell is this?” Baekhyun shot back, looking around the office, probably put off by the new setting and audience, “Am I some sort of criminal being questioned?”

“We’re just trying to know as much as possible about your situation.” Junmyeon replied, without losing his composure, “We tested your blood, and we couldn’t find any trace of the disease. That being said, where you’re standing might be the key to finding immunity.”

The explanation had the desired effect, and Baekhyun took a deep breath, as if trying to calm himself.

“What was the question again?” He said, his tone easier.

“Do you reciprocate the affection she has for you?”

“Affection, yes.”

“Have you ever wanted to be more than friends with Gyuri?”

“No.” He said, this time without a single trace of hesitation.

“Did you lie when you said you loved her?”

“No.”

“You feel affection for her; you do love her, and yet, you are not in love with her.” Junmyeon asked, and Kyungsoo noticed a glint of excitement in his eyes. “Can you elaborate on that?”

“I love her.” Baekhyun replied, but his voice and even his entire posture were different. “But I don’t think I do it in a romantic way, at least not in the strict sense of the word.”

“Why not?”

Baekhyun squirmed in his seat, uncomfortable. Almost meekly to answer the question, he looked down at his hands as if the admission was extremely embarrassing.

“In a very, very, but very shallow way,” he said, with a noticeable knot in his voice. “She’s just not my type.”

The silence after his answer was as loud as thunder. Kyungsoo couldn’t even get angry at him. He could hold it against him if he did find Gyuri attractive and still decided to crush her hopes. It would be a thousand times easier for him to hate Baekhyun if he were an asshole, which he was not. Just like Gyuri said, he just cared an awful lot about her.

He tried not to look directly at the guy, who clearly wanted to be swallowed by a hole in the ground, but his hands trembled, holding tight to the dead tablet. His efforts failed when he heard Jongdae pull the wobbly, noisy wheels of the enormous board where Junmyeon and Yixing had a timeline of Gyuri’s infection coupled with relevant cases during the outbreak.

As if it were part of an elaborate scheme, Junmyeon and Yixing remained focused on the interview, but eventually, Baekhyun ignored the question, seemingly distracted by something on the board. The doctors looked at each other before Junmyeon pressed him with more questions.

“What is it?” He asked.

“Megumi.” The guy replied, nodding at the picture of a young woman on the board; the recognition in the name made Yixing shift in his seat. “How is she involved in this? Is she sick as well?”

“Do you know her?” Junmyeon asked.

“Well, as much as you can get to know a senior you admire.” He said with a shrug.

“Did you have a crush on her?” The doctor asked, and Baekhyun squirmed in his seat.

“I think so.” He said softly, staring at his hands.

”Did you have the chance to meet her?”

“Of course, it was the highlight of my year.”

Even Kyungsoo looked at the guy as his voice trailed down in a whisper as it dawned on him. Everyone stared at the board, realizing that piece of information might be the missing piece of the entire puzzle. Suddenly the timeline was more relevant than ever.

“Can you tell us about it?” Yixing asked, his tone a lot gentler than Junmyeon’s.

“The Engineering and Computer Science Fair in Shenzhen, China.” Baekhyun started, after he cleared his throat, visibly uncomfortable. “It was during my third year. I was part of the team presenting the applications of a new graphic engine for video games, and Gyuri was assisting our university’s coding team during the programming tournament. It was part of her scholarship program and our first trip together. It was fun.”

“When was it?” Yixing asked, ready to write down the new date.

“Having an accurate date isn’t going to give us any answers.” Junmyeon added, although his attention was on Baekhyun’s reaction.

Kyungsoo got it then. He understood what his friends were doing to gouge more details out of Baekhyun that he even felt bad for the guy and the rather aggressive approach. He could almost say the guy didn’t deserve it.

“But it would help us a great deal." Yixing replied, his tone still kind and gentle, as if begging him to remember.

“Yes, to determine a contagion speed rate because, as it is right now,” Junmyeon mumbled, but his eyes were burying holes in Baekhyun. “It’s quite worrying.”

To Kyungsoo, and most likely to the doctors as well, it felt like forever for Baekhyyn to answer. But he was surprised that neither Yixing nor Junmyeon tried to force a response, given how direct their questions were. They waited, observed him, and analyzed the smallest tick on his face until he finally opened his mouth, but the answer wasn’t what they wanted to hear.

“You’re wrong.” Baekhyun said. 

His voice was trembling just as much as Kyungsoo’s hands did when he came into the office. And the words made it all worse; he had to leave the tablet aside and look at the timeline. They all did. Everyone looked at Baekhyun and then at the timeline on the board, looking for said mistakes. 

Once it was clear Baekhyun wouldn’t say more, the doctors finally moved. They checked the files once again and asked him, but Baekhyun was long gone in his thoughts and despair. He was trying with all his might to go back in time and recall the exact moment he heard her cough for the first time. The longer he kept on thinking, the harder it was to accept it had been that long since she had been sick, and it was a truth he wasn’t willing to accept.

“Baekhyun?” It was Yixing that noticed the way his shoulders dropped. “What did we get wrong?”

“We’re working with what Gyuri and her mother told us.” Junmyeon explained, his patience running thin.

“But it can’t be.” Baekhyun said, seemingly snapping out of a trance, “She’s just prone to colds. She couldn’t be suffering for so long. Not because of me.” 

And with those words, they all saw the tears falling down his cheeks. And as heartbreaking as it was to see the guy breaking down in front of them, they still had worse news to deliver.

“Most people can pinpoint the exact moment the disease sprouted in them.” Junmyeon started the explanation now with a softer tone.

“It’s a particular feeling,” Yixing added, “impossible to miss.”

“But that’s not the same with Gyuri.” Junmyeon kept on saying, “She told us she wasn’t even aware of it until the medical report a few months ago.”

Baekhyun shook his head, most likely already knowing where this explanation was going.

“We suspect she contracted the disease way before this date.” Yixing explained, pointing at a date from the timeline, “We’re talking about someday last year.”

That’s when Baekhyun understood the real burden of guilt. The heavy and crushing weight of his failure. Gyuri had been suffering for almost a year because of him. She was in deep pain because of him. She was going to die because of him. 

From then on, no matter how many questions were thrown at him, the doctors realized Baekhyun wasn’t fit to keep going with the interview, so they let him go, and the office was suddenly filled with deafening silence as everyone, including Kyungsoo, seemed deep in thought with the answers they just got. Junmyeon was the first to move and made a beeline to the writer. 

“Did anything catch your attention?” The doctor asked, sitting next to him.

“Nothing other than he seemed sincere.” Kyungsoo said, as he observed the timeline once again, “Did you really have to go that hard on him?”

Junmyeon stayed silent as if Kyungsoo had not asked him a question. Something in the professional pragmatism of his silence made the writer look at the doctor, and for a moment, he seemed different. The coldness in his eyes, the intense expression of an obsessed stranger and not a long-life friend. Unnerved by the sight, he looked around to find Yixing lost in his thoughts as well. What they found in the surgery and what Baekhyun said somehow had a connection with the timeline.

“Who’s Megumi?” Kyungsoo asked anyone that was present enough to answer.

“The tree girl.” Yixing replied in a whisper, turning to where they were sitting, making him slightly uncomfortable.

“Yixing, could Gyuri be the first?” Junmyeon finally said under his breath.

Everything froze. Everyone stopped whatever they were doing and looked at the doctor.

“Thank you!” Yixing dashed across the office to sit near them with a childish excitement glimmering in his eyes. “I didn’t want to say it out loud in case you might think I was mad.”

“Patient zero?” Jongdae asked, also getting closer. “Can it be possible?”

“If we’re willing to consider that idea as a hypothesis,” Yixing added, “all of her symptoms predate the first victim.”

“Can it be?” Junmyeon mumbled.

Kyungsoo understood just then the obsession behind his eyes.

And everything became a fuzz.

The doctors ignored him as they worked with their new theories when Kyungsoo excused himself from the office, exhausted just by the sheer amount of stress derived from the interview he witnessed. No one seemed to notice his leaving. The new information rang in his head, and he found himself back in his room, halting at the sound of the softest sniff.

Baekhyun was there and embarrassed to get caught crying; he wiped off his tears. Kyungsoo looked away, giving him some grace, considering he had to deal with a work-focused Junmyeon, and that was tough enough already.

“I guess I’m your roommate now.” Baekhyun said, his voice hoarse from crying, “So don’t mind me.”

Kyungsoo wanted to leave somewhere else other than having to get along with the guy, but it was too late to leave now. The latest interview switched something in him. In any other situation, he would’ve left without a hint of remorse, but he felt terrible for the guy. He wouldn’t even dare say he pitied him. The more he knew the guy, the more he realized he quite admired his sense of responsibility and, in a way, sympathized with his pain. That last thought made him squirm, uncomfortable to feel in that way for someone he, in theory, should hate.

“You need to rest.” That was all he managed to say.

Going further into the room, Baekhyun stood up, as if the writer demanded all of his respect, making the both of them move awkwardly around each other. Not knowing what to say exactly, Kyungsoo laid down in his bed and closed his eyes in an even more uncomfortable silence. 

“I won’t leave her alone again.” He heard Baekhyun mumble. “I swear.”

“If that’s the case,” Kyungsoo replied, slightly annoyed that he believed him, “Wash up, get some sleep, and eat something. You have to take care of yourself.”

Baekhyun agreed, and Kyungsoo heard him moving around the room, mumbling left and right about how correct the writer was, and he covered his face, already exhausted from his persistent babbling. However, he missed the noise as soon as the guy disappeared into the shower and gave him a little moment of silence to think. Because thinking was the last thing he wanted to do. 

Thinking suffocated him. 

Thinking made him see a future without Gyuri. 

“Are you asleep?” Baekhyun asked. 

He hadn’t realized the guy was out of the shower already, so he simply opened his eyes to acknowledge his presence. Baekhyun was ruffling his wet hair with a towel and sitting in his bed, looking at him with certain curiosity. As if he wanted to get to know him, and Kyungsoo knew he had to oblige in a way. 

“So…” Baekhyun said, “How did you two meet?”

“Lunch.” He replied, but the guy expected to get more out of that answer and chuckled when he didn’t.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but why does she trust you so much? She isn’t the type to meet new people so easily, let alone make new friends.” Baekhyun kept on, looking at him with genuine interest. “Sometimes I still wonder how we ended up becoming friends in the first place.”

Even though Kyungsoo found the guy annoying, he was also curious as well. Deep down, he wanted to ask everything about their relationship because Gyuri never spoke about the guy in that much detail. Other than caring about her, he knew nothing about the guy, and she was right. Baekhyun cared a lot. But they were so inherently different that their friendship was the most unlikely he’d ever experienced. He wanted to know what he had that was so worth dying for.

“I’m just helping her.” Kyungsoo said.

“Why?”

The writer was fully aware that the truth behind his statement was a lot more complicated than that and that he had been wondering the same ever since the very first time he saw Gyuri. Why did he help her that day? 

Baekhyun waited for a response with undivided attention and a gentle yet intensely curious expression in his eyes. They were both on an equal basis. The guy wanted to know the writer as much as the writer wanted to know the guy.

“How’s your girlfriend?” Kyungsoo asked instead, only aware of his harsh tone until he said it out loud, “The woman you were with back then at the restaurant.”

“Oh, her.” Baekhyun said with a shrug, “I broke up with her because of something ridiculous she said about Gyuri.” He said, his face twisting in a grimace. “Who would’ve thought? She was right after all.”

Kyungsoo didn’t have to ask about what he meant. He was surprised no one else around her seemed to notice. It was blatantly obvious to him that Gyuri was sick, and he wondered if people simply stopped caring about the curse anymore or if Gyuri was just that good at blending herself in the crowd and going unnoticed. Perhaps it was that he was a survivor himself that he could see the signs. Maybe he noticed because he liked her from the very beginning.

“Have you been with her all along then?” Baekhyun interrupted his thoughts.

Kyungsoo nodded, although he wasn’t sure anymore. Cursing under his breath, Baekhyun ruffled his hair again quite violently, and a tired chuckle left his lips. He looked at him straight into his eyes, making Kyungsoo unexpectedly nervous.

“It’s getting quite hard to dislike you, you know.” Baekhyun said.

Kyungsoo stayed quiet, not knowing how to react to that admission and even less how to agree with it because he thought just the same. He could not hate the guy anymore, even if he tried.

“Thank you.” Baekhyun added. “For staying with her.”

There was an awkward pause, and Kyungsoo wished for Baekhyun to stop trying to be nice and strike conversation. It only made it hard for him, but the guy was already babbling about the shampoo in the bathroom. He apologized for taking some of it if it happened to be his and promised to get a new bottle just in case. Kyungsoo ignored him, muting him off so he could try to doze off, but he could still hear him buzzing around until the room was awfully quiet.

“The other night,” Baekhyun said, his tone completely different and void of the lightheartedness from before, “she was wearing your clothes.”

Every bit of that night, every feeling, and every word he shared with Gyuri flooded his memory. He remembered that night as if it were yesterday, and it amazed him how much everything had changed. Kyungsoo opened his eyes to find Baekhyun back in his bed.

“Don’t do this to yourself.” He muttered, considering the sad look in his eyes and worried what it could possibly mean.

“Did you two, you know, sleep together?” He asked.

Kyungsoo nodded. What else could he possibly say? It wasn’t a lie. They did sleep together, although not in the way the guy might think of by the bright red color flaring on his cheeks. 

“You’re not an accountant.” Baekhyun said, changing the subject.

Kyungsoo felt every bit of his instinct focusing on the guy. The look in his eyes, which was far from being curious, considered the writer as if he could see through him.

“Are you him?” He asked.

There was an inflection in the last word that made Kyungsoo go completely still, as if staying frozen would distract the guy from the question. The seriousness in his tone and the determination in his eyes made it clear he had pieced everything together. Kyungsoo remembered Gyuri saying he was extremely clever, even though he loved to play dumb most of the time. So far, he thought she was overly generous with her description of his character, but he was wrong. Baekhyun was good at being an unassuming dumbass when, in reality, he was just waiting for everyone else around him to slip.

“It makes sense.” Baekhyun added, looking around the place.

Kyungsoo sat up, staring at the guy, wondering if he really knew who he was or if he was just bluffing. As playful as Baekhyun could be, his face gave nothing away, and the writer felt a chill run down his spine. He realized why Gyuri was so worried to face him. The guy was perceptive in a way he wasn’t expecting, and all the pity he felt just moments earlier evaporated. 

“How did you beat the curse?” Baekhyun asked, and the writer knew there was no point in denying it. After all, he did figure it out all by himself.

“I don’t know.” Kyungsoo replied.

“That's not enough.” The guy through gritted teeth, his expression finally showing genuine emotion, “An I don’t know, won’t save her.”

“I know that.”

Upset and desperate, Baekhyun stood up. He paced around the room, and when he finally stopped, he tried to look up at the writer but couldn’t even look in his general direction, and his mouth opened and closed several times, as if he wanted to say something.

“Did she ever tell you why?” Baekhyun finally asked, staring at the floor. “Why did she fall for me?”

Kyungsoo understood the hesitation, and despite the recent revelation of his cleverness, he got it. He knew why it was so hard. It wouldn’t be a genuine struggle if Baekhyun was the heartless asshole the outside could paint him to be. The man in front of him was a caring friend to a fault, and Kyungsoo couldn’t blame him for feeling so powerless. He had felt it before.

“So you knew,” Kyungsoo said instead, and even though he didn’t mean to belittle the guy, he saw his body flinch at his words, “You knew she had feelings for you, right?” 

“Sometimes, I had a hunch, but it never made sense.” He explained, with his eyes closing and his voice breaking. “She’s too bright to fall for someone like me. She would never.”

“But she did.” Kyungsoo argued, making the guy get even smaller in his place, “If you knew, why didn’t you tell her anything?”

For a moment, the writer thought he could wait for an answer, but the guy hesitated for far too long and he realized he didn’t need an answer. It didn’t really matter. Him telling Gyuri wouldn’t change a thing. She would still be cursed. When he said he loved her back, it didn’t change anything. She was still dying.

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun said under his breath.

The guy finally looked up and stared at him. And as they squared up at each other, they felt the weight of the situation, and for the first time since they met, they could agree to be in the same dark and hopeless place.

Kyungsoo stormed out of the room, unsure of whether he was upset with the man or with himself, but everything everywhere revolved around Gyuri. The place that was built to be his last home was suddenly full of life in a very grim way. He planned to die here. That’s why he bought the property in the first place. He had hoped for it to be just as dull and as empty as his life felt, but he could hear her laugh in the hallways and smell her scent in the air around him. This place wasn't his anymore. Perhaps it never was. It was hers. And once she was gone, it would never be the same again.

Kyungsoo rubbed his eyes, in need of an escape from his dark thoughts, from Baekhyun and what he meant for his future, from Junmyeon and his false hopes, from Minseok and his incessant questions about his health, and from everything that reminded him of her. But he was never alone. No matter where he went, someone was there to ask him how he was feeling, his thoughts on the research, and what else he had planned to do. And all he thought was her; all he planned for was for her, and all he felt was despair.

The writer went straight to the kitchen. He wanted to cook. He wasn’t even hungry, but he needed the process of it to sedate himself, to focus his mind over something else other than her, but when he arrived, he found her mother there. The woman had obviously been crying for some time, but she jumped up like a spring and went into motherly operational mode as soon as she saw him. 

Kyungsoo did not have the heart to reject her attention, and there was one thing he liked about the woman. She never asked. A character flaw perhaps, but he was grateful that he could find a certain silent understanding in her. It felt to the writer that just like him, Gyuri's mother found some comfort in focusing solely on one task, even if there was no need for it. He had a team of cooks ready to manage the meals for all the guests on the property, but the woman insisted. Kyungsoo almost smiled when he recognized the source of the same stubbornness in Gyuri. 

That’s why she cooked for everyone. Every minute she didn’t spend with her daughter, she spent it chopping something, as if investing her attention in something that could somehow change the situation. Kyungsoo listened to the woman listing all of the dishes she wanted to make and started to wonder if she ever slept.

Moved by the contained emotion in her voice, he offered to assist her prepping, and they ended up finding solace in each other's silent company as they cooked.He had the impression that she found a small measure of joy in teaching him how to prepare her daughter's favorite foods, as though that offered some hope in the face of an ominous and bleak future.

Time went by as the light seeping through the windows changed and a new shift change happened. Jongdae sauntered in, as loud as he always was, excited to get a warm homemade meal. From everyone on the research team to the other guests and family members, the nurse was the one that appreciated it the most and ate everything to the last grain of rice with an unwavering devotion and a satisfied smile on his face.

Jongdae was in the middle of his usual praises to the cook in charge when the high-pitched alarm of the pager he carried with him at all times suddenly started blaring. As if in automatic, the nurse jumped out of the chair to run to Gyuri's room. Kyungsoo and her mother followed him instinctively, and they hadn't even arrived in the room when they heard her cries for help. 

"My eyes!” Gyuri cried over and over again.

By the time they reached the door, Jongdae was already getting all his gear on as another nurse stopped them from getting any closer. Baekhyun stumbled into the hallway as well, clearly shaken up and still half asleep. 

“I can't see! What happens to my eyes?!" They heard Gyuri cry in desperation, "Why can't I see!?"

Everyone froze at the words as Gyuri kept on crying and screaming, and the nurses rushed into the room. The deep determination in Jongdae’s voice broke them all out of the initial shock and left them with a sinking feeling on their stomachs.

"Call everyone in. Everyone! Now!" He ordered before the door closed behind him, and once again, all they could hear were her desperate screams thundering across the hallway.

SORRY! I'm so sorry it took me sooo sooo long to finish this chapter. Truth is, it was a hard chapter to write and I wonder if it will be hard for you readers to digest. Or at least I hope it will be considering how hard I tried to convey the nuance of what everyone is feeling. Everyone is grieving. Anyway, I'm sorry for the delay. Hopefully, the next chapter doesn't take that long to finish. If you're still here: Thank you! It means the world

[cherryeol04]

Might Alpha 2

➻ Pairings: Chanyeol x Reader

➻ Genre: Romance, Wolf Au

➻ Additional: destined mates

➻ Word Count: 1.5K

➻ Warnings: N/A

➻ Author’s notes: This story is cross posted on multiple sites under the same username!

The backlash that came when Baekhyun and Chanyeol denounced their marriage was something that no one expected. They knew their parents would be upset, but the sheer mortification that came from knowing Baekhyun had been with another alpha and never actually slept with Chanyeol was so confusing. The fact that the male was Baekhyun’s destined mate didn't seem to matter to anyone. 

While the elders had stayed silent, the parents argued back and forth on how they could rectify the situation, without bothering to listen to the children whose lives they were purposefully trying to ruin for the simple fact that Baekhyun was a gifted male omega with the ability to bear pups. They didn't care that they were trying to break not one, but two bonds. Bonds from the same family. 

It confused Soohee, because she remembered very clearly that Chanyeol had said the whole union between Baekhyun and himself was because they trusted Chanyeol and it was a great way for her father to get a foot into the counsel and influence decisions and laws however he saw fit.  Chanyeol was going to be the next elder and possibly the next head alpha if he could pass the tests that would challenge his strength, his logic, and his wit. And while she worried about her brother being hurt, she believed the man he was with would never hurt him since they were destined mates. And if her father still wanted that in, if he would just listen to Chanyeol, he would know that they were destined mates. 

Soohee had never told her parents or anyone else what happened that night after her party, nor the weekend and the two days after that she was in heat. They were mates, she knew that and still had trouble processing it, but it was a fact she was more than ready to admit. Yet they hadn't mated during her heat, both agreeing that they wanted to wait. Even if they used protection, there wasn't a guarantee it would work or if they would constantly remember the amount of times they would have to have sex. So Chanyeol did his best to pleasure her and help her through her heat and she was so thankful for it. But they still haven't told anyone. Or rather, they were trying, but no one was actually listening to them. 

“Well since your son has been defiled, we will find a new mate for Chanyeol. A better and loyal omega!” Mr. Park grunted out. 

“What?” Chanyeol asked in shock. 

“Excuse me? My son is very much loyal!”

“Lies. He's been defiled by that Chinese vagrant!” Mr. Park growled. “You and your family are so immoral, Mr. Byun, that I'm surprised you're all even allowed to continue to live in this pack. And if your son acts like this, I can't even begin to imagine how your daughter must be, whoring about and asking for any male to fuck her.”

“That’s enough! You are so vile and disgusting, speaking of a child like that!” Mr. Byun shouted. 

“Child?! Child?! She's of age now isn't She? But has that ever stopped her? You don't think we don't hear rumors?”

“What? Soohee, what is talking about?” Mr. Byun asked, furious by all the words being thrown around. 

“I don't know.” Soohee said. “I don't know of rumors. Dad, it's a lie.” She said. 

“Adults don't lie.” Mr. Park snapped at her and she shrunk back. Lies from an adult. She had no idea where he would ever get such information about her. She had never done anything to try and get guys. She had only ever wanted Chanyeol. And even her closest friends knew that. 

“If she says there are none, then there aren't.” Mr. Byun growled. “My daughter is perfect! Maybe it’s your son that is the issue!” He fired back. Another round of shouting began and Soohee had heard enough. She slipped out of her chair and did her best to sneak out of the meeting hall. She thought she was very successful and made it outside with a sigh. 

“For the love of god. Adults are crazy. I don't want to be an adult.” She whined softly. 

“Tell me about it.” 

Soohee jumped and looked over at her brother as he came to sit next to her. “Oppa.” She said gently. “Are you okay? Dad and Mr. Park are blowing everything out of proportion.” She said. 

“I know.” Baekhyun sighed softly and closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead gently. “Like, why are they like this? The elders always preach about destined mates and not interfering and here they are staying quiet while our parents fight to ruin our lives.” 

Soohee stared at him and sighed softly. She reached over and rubbed his back gently and smiled softly. “It'll be okay.” She said softly. “You have your mate. You should go and run off with him. They can't stop you.”

“And leave you?” Baekhyun asked softly. “Disappoint our family? I couldn't.” He said as he looked at her. 

“So you'd rather risk your bond with your mate?” Soohee asked and cocked her head. “Oppa, you're not a disappointment. And I'll be fine.”

“Because you have your mate now.” Baekhyun said and smiled weakly at her. 

“I….what?”

“Don't play dumb.” Baekhyun laughed softly. “I knew the moment I introduced you to Chanyeol that you two were mates.” He said.

“How?”

“Blue eyes are the sign that an alpha has found their mate and imprinted on them. I saw them that day. I knew and I made him promise me he would never try anything with you until you were old enough.” He said. “I had no idea that this stupid union would be done either.” He said and ran a hand through his hair some before groaning. “I don't know what to do Soohee.”

Soohee frowned as she stared at her brother and was gonna answer when another person joined them. 

“Let's go and start our own pack.” Their heads whipped around quickly and stared at Chanyeol in shock. “what?”

“What do you mean what? How can we start our own pack?” Soohee asked, confused. “That's a big task.”

“Yeah and where would we go?” Baekhyun asked and Chanyeol just shrugged. 

“Does it matter? We’ll just go somewhere. The four of us establish our own pack. We'll gather packless shifters and shifters wanting a new pack and just start over fresh.” He said. 

“Do you...do you think we can do it?” Baekhyun asked. 

“Well with Yixing as another alpha, I'm sure we can manage and grow slowly. It might be hard at first. But won't it be worth it?” Chanyeol asked. “They obviously don't care about our wants and needs. Our destinies. So we need to take our lives into our own hands.” He said. His eyes moved from Baekhyun to Soohee and he smiled. He took her hand and held it gently in his, squeezing it gently. 

“Chanyeol.” Soohee whispered softly and smiled.

“It'll be worth it.” Baekhyun agreed and smiled softly at them. “Come on. Let's go.” He said and stood. Soohee looked back at her brother and nodded. She stood, pulling at Chanyeol’s hand and making him stand. “I'll meet you two at Yixing’s. Don't take too long, okay?” He said. 

They nodded and with quick goodbyes, they parted ways, with Soohee going with Chanyeol because she just needed to be with him. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Soohee asked as she walked towards Chanyeol’s jeep.

“No. But we have to do what we have to do.” Chanyeol said as he unlocked the doors and climbed into the driver's seat. Soohee sighed and got into the jeep, closing the door before turning to face him. 

“Chanyeol, I'm being serious. I'm still a kid. I'm fresh out of high school, just turned 18 and you want to move to some unknown place and start a pack there. It sounds crazy.” She said, “Are you sure this is something you really want?” Her question was directed towards their current decision but there was an undertone of uncertainty about their relationship. Was she really what he wanted?

Chanyeol sighed softly as he slipped the key into the ignition before turning to face her. “Soohee.” He said gently. He scooted over to her and reached out, his fingers stroking her cheeks gently. “I want to be with you, and only you. And if that means we have to go into the future blind, then I will do it. I love you.” He told her and leaned in, pressing their foreheads together gently. “I've loved you for so long and I've waited for so long. Now I have you, I don't ever want to let you go. Please. Stay with me.”

Soohee stared up into his eyes and felt her heart race at how beautiful and gorgeous they were. And probably because of his words, but mostly due to his eyes. “Of course I'll stay with you.” She said gently. “Why wouldn't I when I have been pinning after Mr. Handsome for so long.” She said with a giggle. Chanyeol smiled softly and leaned forward and kissed her softly. It was soft and quick, but she loved it all the same. 

“Then let's go. And we'll start a new life together and be happy together.” Chanyeol said gently with a smile. Soohee nodded and smiled softly as they pulled back and Chanyeol started the jeep. 

“Everything will be okay, right?” she asked. 

“Of course. Trust me.” 

~*~

“Dad, no! Stop it! Let me go!” Soohee shouted as she struggled in the grips of a few of the male wolves her father had dragged with him. She wasn't sure how they knew their plans or how to find them, but they did. It was probably just their keen sense of smell. That was the only possible reason she could think of, of how they found them this far out of the city. 

“I would expect this kind of thing from Baekhyun, but you? Why Soohee? Why are you going to associate yourselves with these rebels?” Mr. Byun asked as he motioned to her brother. His mate and Chanyeol, all of whom were being detained as well. Though it was taking more people to hold Chanyeol back as he was being scolded so loudly by his father. She could hear every nasty word he was calling her and her brother and she just couldn't take anymore. “Soohee! Answer me!” 

“He's my mate!” the words fell from her lips before she could even stop to fully process her train of thought. The announcement seemed to draw the attention of everyone as they all went silent. 

“Excuse me?” Mr. Park asked, eyes wide. 

“Chanyeol is my mate.” She said softly and jerked herself from the slacking grips of the men. “He is mine, and Baekhyun has found his and the rest of you are acting like spoiled little children!”

“Soohee!” 

“No dad! It's true. You all are supposed to be adults, filled with wisdom that's supposed to help guide your children as they become adults and start their own family. And here you both are, two families that don't give a shit about their own children and are just obsessed with whatever power they can have!” She sneered, disgusted. 

“Byun, put a stop to her before I do.” Mr. Park warned, but was greeted with a very angry growled and rough shove as Chanyeol tore himself from the four men holding him back. Their strength together was nowhere near a match for Chanyeol’s strength when he really used it, like he had in this case. 

“You won't touch her.” Chanyeol growled out as he moved to Soohee and pulled her close to him, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist to protect her. “And she's right. Ever since it was announced what my future status would be, all you or anyone else has ever cared about was that. You held me so high up on a pedestal, out of the reach for anyone you deemed unworthy. You never stopped to ask what I wanted or if I've found my mate. Well, dad, I have. And it's not Baekhyun. It was never Baekhyun and it would be selfish and wrong of me to try and keep him from his own mate.”

“Chanyeol.” Mr. Park floundered for words to speak, but he couldn't even form a decent, coherent sentence. 

“We know who we love, who we are meant to be with, and what we're doing is the only way we can be with them. So either you accept this reality or step aside and let us leave.” Everyone was silent for a long while, staring at the two before looking at the two fathers. 

“Soohee...there was an agreement…”

“And it can still be upheld. Just not with Baekhyun, but me instead. You can still have whatever it is you want. And the rest of us can be happy. The last thing I've ever wanted to do is leave you and mom but I can't live without him. I don't want to feel our bond break. It'll kill me.” she said softly. 

“Don't be so dramatic, it won't kill you if…” Mr. Park started but paused. “You haven't marked her, have you?”

Chanyeol stared at his father intently before moving his hand and lifting her shirt slightly to show the mark he had left on her side. “Three weeks ago, when she went into heat,” he said proudly. “She is mine. Forever.” he announced and pulled her closer as he leaned down slightly to nuzzle her head. 

“Dad please.” Baekhyun whispered. “Just let us be happy.”

Mr. Byun looked between his two children and sighed heavily. “We can't fight it now. A bond has been made, I assume for both of them. The elders wouldn’t take too kindly if we destroyed them for selfish reasons.” he sighed. “And it would hurt me to hurt my children, I should have realized that from the beginning.” he said and walked over to Baekhyun as he was finally released. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Baekhyun said and smiled. “There is no denying, he is the one.” he said and looked over at Yixing. Mr. Byun sighed, nodded and looked over, waving his hand in signal for Yixing to be released. The silent alpha moved to Baekhyun and hugged him tightly, nuzzling against his neck. 

“I suppose I have two unions to prepare for now.” Mr. Byun smiled. “Let's get you all home before your mothers have a fit.”

“Oh...yeah.” Mr. Park cleared his throat. “Chanyeol, I'll need you to-”

“Yeah dad. Don't worry. I'll call her down.” Chanyeol laughed. It was funny to see such a composed man cower in fear at the mention of his angry wife. 

~*~

Soohee smiled as she flopped back on her bed, a laugh leaving her as Chanyeol stumbled out of his pants, hopping around to try and kick off the offending garments before finally flinging it across her room. It hit her closed door and he winced before climbing into her bed. “Are you new to taking off pants?” she asked teasingly. 

“Oh shut up.” Chanyeol chuckled as he laid down next to her and stared at her face. “It's not my fault you have me tripping over my feet.” he teased and chuckled as she blushed. “You're so cute. You know that?” he asked as he reached out and stroked her head and cheek lightly. 

“I can't help but to know it. You tell me all the time.” she said gently as she leaned into the touch. Sighing softly, she leaned in and kissed him, her lips brushing teasingly over his lips every time he dipped in to try and deepen the kiss. A soft giggle left her, followed by Chanyeol’s own growl as he nipped at her bottom lip as Soohee pulled completely back. 

“You are such a tease.” Chanyeol groaned and pouted as he stared at her smiling face. “Soohee.” he whined out and Soohee giggled at it. She reached up and poked his nose lightly. 

“What?” she asked with a smirk. 

“I want a kiss.”

“You just had a kiss.”

“I want another.” he said as he slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. 

“Don't be greedy.” she teased and Chanyeol huffed. “Oh, aren't you so cute?” she said and pinched his cheek lightly. 

Chanyeol stared at her with narrowed eyes and huffed again before he leaned in and captured her lips in a deep and passionate kiss. Soohee giggled slightly into the kiss before melting into it, pressing herself against him tightly. Everything just felt so right. She finally had the man of her dreams, she could openly be with him and start working on their future together and that excited her. Her future was with Chanyeol and hopefully with some children as well. 

[iinterludia]

Fanfic do dia #6: Ao conhecer você por rockkbyun

Após Baekhyun sair de um relacionamento difícil, não acreditava que iria conseguir amar de novo, assim como Chanyeol que não tinha mais esperança de se apaixonar. Porém, ao se conhecerem perceberam que poderiam aprender muitas coisas, inclusive como amar novamente.

TÍTULO: Ao conhecer você AUTOR(ES): rockkbyun CATEGORIA: EXO COUPLE: Chanyeol/Baekhyun GÊNERO: Romance, LGBTQIA+, Amizade TAGS: chanbaek, transgênero, autismo, amizade, pcd ONDE LER: Spirit Fanfiction

CENA DESTAQUE:

— Oi — ele disse e Baekhyun não respondeu — Você quer dividir meu sanduíche da subway comigo?

Baekhyun não respondeu novamente, não entendendo nada do que estava acontecendo. Seu rosto ainda estava assustado, perguntando-se há quanto tempo ele estava ali e se assistiu tudo o que havia acontecido. Quase morreu de vergonha, pois estava um caos. O garoto não falou mais nada, porém ofereceu sua mão para que Baekhyun pudesse se levantar.

(Capítulo 1)

MINI REVIEW [ ⚠️Alerta de Spoiler]

Suave, é como podemos descrever a leitura de Ao conhecer você. Sabe aquelas histórias que você lê e sem perceber chegou ao final.

Baekhyun é um homem trans que acaba de sair de um relacionamento tóxico com um filho da mãe, ai gente sinceramente… o livramento foi grande. Quando vocês lerem vão entender do que eu estou falando

Apesar de se posicionar, Baekhyun sofre com o fim do relacionamento. Já Chanyeol chega de mansinho e quando vemos, pá! Estamos todas apaixonadas por esse personagem mais que sincero.

Juntos e devagar, Baek e Chan constroem essa amizade com um quê de mais que amizade. Falo isso porque todos percebem que Chanyeol trata o Byun de maneira diferente. Outro ponto importante para falar nesta review é a rede de apoio dos meninos, que família maravilhosa eles têm e digo mais: tanto Kyungsoo (nessa fic como pai do Baek) e Seri (mãe do Chan) são fortes, corajosos e inspiradores.

É manas, o amor vence demais nessa história cheia de detalhezinhos e coisinhas que te fazem suspirar. Essa é a fanfic do dia, meu calendário editorial de postagens ficou uma bagunça, vou dar um jeito nesse nesse feriado de carnaval.

XOXO, Interludia.

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Can I Stay? (A Baekhyun Story) Part 4.

Pairing: You x Baekhyun

Rating: M

Word Count: 6.8K

Warnings: UNRESOLVED sexual tension (shhhh I promise you will be okay), an unspecified age difference, an English story that uses the word Noona for lack of another word in English that carries the same feeling, if you don’t like this, then don’t read this story.

Author‘s note: remember all those years ago I said I’d write a Baekhyun x Noona fic? This is that fic.

Inspired by the Ray LaMontagne song Can I Stay?

Tag List: @andimoon @his-mochi-cheeks

Links: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Baekhyun was on his way over to your house. You had no way of knowing how far away he actually had gotten before he turned around but you figured you had maybe 20 minutes. Maybe longer.

Did you have enough time for a shower? You felt the grime and the dirt of the day still all over your skin and your favorite way to start the weekend was with a long soak in the tub. Obviously that wasn’t an option right now but you found yourself racing into your bathroom for a shower instead. At least it would be a way to use up the waiting time instead of sitting on a bar stool in your kitchen and staring at the front door until the doorbell rang. It wasn’t like you could get much work done without the blue harddrive anyway.

Your shower broke speed records. You did what you could with the wet hair and quickly contemplated redoing your makeup. How ridiculous of an idea, putting on makeup right now. But to face this man bare faced with nothing? You opted for just a little. And what to wear? You knew you were overthinking this. You had no control over your overthinking and you had no time for it ether.

He was going to, at most, drop off the blue harddrive and then leave, right? Maybe he would come in just to make sure you were actually able to get the task done, since he’d come all the way over maybe he should stay for a while. Had he eaten dinner yet? Of course he wouldn’t have eaten. A million thoughts were racing through your mind and you quickly reached for just something ultra casual but still kind of cute from your closet. Comfy shorts and a soft top. You didn’t need to always look the part of the ultra professional manager, just because your assistant was ringing your doorbell right now, right?

The sound of that bell sent a jolt of nerves through your belly, you swore you even saw a flash of light somewhere, and in your mind flashed your options for answering that door.

Work, work, work, strictly business mode? How dare you keep my precious blue harddrive young man, don't you know what you almost did? No, no. It was kind of your fault too. You always checked for it before leaving the office. Why you didn't check this time? You’d had plenty of opportunities to check before and the fact that he happened to be carrying it with him instead of being left behind at the office was a blessing because instead of being there, you were home. You’d showered and changed and you were comfy and happy and there was no reason at all for you to be upset about Baekhyun coming over.

So did you go the ultra casual route instead? Welcome to my home. Let me give you the tour. Here is my loveseat — maybe you’d like to sit on it with me. It’s perfectly sized for two consenting adults to sit on together. Here is my kitchen, sorry I only have ramen. Would you like to share some with me tonight?

Maybe ultra casual was a bad idea.

You were out of time for your silly scenarios and when you pulled open your front door you caught a view of the top of Baekhyun’s blonde head. He was bent at the waist and lifted both hands with the hard drive lifted on top. It took only a second for your eyes to catch on to the rest of his appearance.

His hair was wet. His suit jacket had dark water stains on it as well and his slacks were also darker at the bottom legs with very obvious wetness.

“Noona, it didn’t get wet. I protected it with my body.” It took another half second for your ears to catch on to what had to be the sound of heavy rain falling outside. Your floor was a bit high and pretty well insulated from the world but it was odd of you not to notice the rain. You’d been so preoccupied with other things.

“Baekhyun, it’s raining? You should have told me, I would come down with an umbrella.”

You were pulling him inside now. He was a little bit drippy. You were careful to grab the hard drive first due to the sheer importance of its safety, but with it carefully set down next to your work laptop you rushed to the bathroom for a towel and handed it to him.

“I parked kind of far away in a secure lot down the street. There was a big truck right in front and they were—” his face had a wince now and as soon as he lifted the towel to his head his eyes seemed to focus on you for a second as he stopped explaining his reasoning for not just parking outside on the street; his reasoning for why he was so very soaked by the rain right now. You pictured him stuffing the precious hardrive deep inside his coat pocket and fighting the elements with it as he ran through the downpour.

His mouth hung open just a little and you caught the moment he must have registered that yes, you were home, and yes, you maybe had just showered, didn’t have on the usual office attire, nor work makeup on, maybe you were wearing something soft and comfy and so what? You were home. This was your home. It was your favorite place to be, why be uncomfortable at home when you spent 10 hours of every day uncomfortable at the office?

Something about his eyes on you though made you second guess the outfit. Maybe a pantsuit would have been more appropriate. Maybe you should have done something other than just comb your hair. The shorts you were wearing were pretty high cut but they were your absolute favorite to sleep in. The shirt was thin but it wasn’t like it was transparent. This was a normal at home outfit, right? Had you lost your mind completely?

“—they were…?” You spoke out loud, drawing out his last words spoken, trying to get him to continue what he was saying and in the process, interrupting his strange silence.

“Who was?” He whispered and his face dipped forward as he wrinkled his eyebrows in complete confusion.

He was gone somewhere else. You opened your lips to speak and then closed them again. Finding no response for him that was safe enough.

He was standing just inside your doorway and after a few seconds you knew you had to move before the motion light turned off. So you moved — pushing a set of house slippers closer toward him with your bare foot, his eyes looked down catching the motion and without saying anything to him you turned and retreated back inside your apartment.

He could come in. You’d made that invitation evident with the house sippers. It wasn’t like you should be expected to say it out loud right? Some things were so very hard to say out loud.

You quietly settled onto your sofa with your laptop on the coffee table and connected the hard drive; waiting for the happy little notification sound to tell you that everything was going to be just fine — all the while watching the entryway out of the corner of your eye.

When you finally did see him, he had moved up just until to the threshold and he’d removed the wet coat. He found a coat hook and hung it there. The resourceful man could manage well enough on his own. You pulled your eyes to the laptop screen and blinked them purposefully and slowly, willing your focus to stay there. You even furrowed your eyebrows in some attempt to get them to stay put. File folders and dates. Revisions, and final versions. A silent grunt from the back of his throat and slim fingertips that pulled at the top button of a white dress shirt; popping it open with what you thought was much more force than was necessary. The slide of a long black necktie out of its knot and then pulled with force out of its collar until the silken fabric whipped free and hung toward the floor. Checking email attachments. Checking email recipients. Double checking email attachments and checking email recipients. Undoing buttons on cuff sleeves and rolling sleeves up, dear god, forearms with defined muscles— triple checking attachments and recipients and attachments and recipients.

He was moving inside now; wearing your pink slippers on his sock covered feet. As he moved just inside the space so he could place a duffel bag carefully down onto the floor, he squatted in front of it and he was digging inside. Raindrops rolled down the sides of the bag and he used the towel to blot up the moisture.

“Noona, would it be weird if I changed? I don't like being wet.” The second he turned toward you to speak, you shot your eyes to your laptop screen with impressive speed.

“No, it wouldn't be weird, why would that be weird? We are no longer at work, you are off the clock. I also hate being w-w…like that. Nothing weird about that — ” You recognized the telltale sounds of panic in your own voice and you stopped the next words from coming out of your mouth with a deep shaking inhale through your open mouth, “—at all.” You breathed out the last words to make your sentence complete and you vowed, swore, begged, and pleaded for yourself to calm down and just be normal for once in your entire goddamned life, please — please. Your face felt like it might be on fire.

You lifted a finger and you pointed toward your bathroom door. Maybe you had something that could be considered a non threatening smile on your face. The door was already open and there was no need to point it out. It was very obviously a bathroom. He had already been walking in that direction.

Baekhyun was watching you from about halfway there. He’d stopped his forward progress the second you started rambling and his eyes were wide and his lips were shut. After what felt like about 10 minutes of staring, but was probably only 10 seconds in reality, his eyes bounced around somewhere above the ceiling above your head and he nodded his head twice with his eyes way up there.

Then he swallowed, inhaled a half breath and he let out a high pitched, almost painful sounding, “Yep…Okay,” with a very definite wince on his face. He turned and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

After at least a minute you heard the click of the door being locked.

Well.

That went…bad.

You closed your eyes and groaned out loud. Resting your head in your hands, you wondered if it really came down to it and you had to vomit, would you just do it in the kitchen trash can, or the kitchen sink and risk clogging the pipes, or maybe you’d run to the balcony and puke over the railing. That might be the best option actually because you could also just hurl your body over the railing too and see which hit the ground first.

Your money was on the vomit, but some distant memory from one of your high school science classes brought the words terminal velocity flashing through your head and before you knew it you had a google tab opened up, reading the FAQ page from some reputable science website.

Your curiosity was satisfied. You stared ahead at the closed bathroom door with a decision to make now.

Would you be normal?

Or would you splatter onto the pavement at the same time as your vomit?

These were the only two options you gave yourself. Because the second option sounded just so very bad, you really had no other choice.

You had to be normal. You lifted yourself onto your legs and made your way into the kitchen. Baekhyun had arrived as your assistant but could your assistant also not be a guest in your home? An assistant guest deserved a beverage. Your fridge had a few options. And when you heard the bathroom door open you called out over your shoulder from somewhere inside the fridge.

“Do you want anything to drink? I have some teas, some water, some juice…” You did not mention the beer that sat in the back of the fridge. He had to drive back home later and you weren’t sure what his tolerance might be like.

“Tea is fine,” his voice came from right beside you in this kitchen and you steadied your face with a pleasant smile for him before you turned to face him.

He was watching you with an equally pleasant smile on his own face. He wore a plain white t-shirt now, some light gray sweatpants, and clean white socks on his feet. He’d abandoned your light pink slippers it seemed. You tried not to linger on him for too long. Of course he looked beautiful in his gym clothes. You allowed your eyes half a second max to look at him. Any longer than that was superfluous and unnecessary.

Your smile was slipping and you strengthened it.

“Green, black, or a citrusy one?” His eyes slipped down the length your face when you spoke again. But he was quick with an inhale and he also matched your smile before he responded.

“Surprise me.” He bit down on his bottom lip and you reached a blind hand into the fridge grabbing randomly.

You came out with the green tea and held it out for him to grab, reaching a second hand for the same for yourself, you quickly made an escape back to the safety of the work. The work would save you, as it often did when you were faced with having to look too closely at Baekhyun.

This time instead of sitting on the sofa, you opted to sit down on the floor in front of your coffee table. The floor had plenty of space for him to also sit beside you without it being on the loveseat, which you right now decided was off limits to the both of you.

“Noona,” Baekhyun said after a while of watching you stare at your screen as you worked harder and better than you’ve ever worked in your entire life.

“Hmm?” You didn’t look over at him when he spoke, but you did stop the typing and you did raise a single eyebrow as a cue that yes, you responded to him and yes you were giving him enough of your attention to say whatever he had wanted to say.

He didn’t speak right away though and eventually the curiosity about his silence grew.

When you found him he was watching your face and his head lifted ever so slightly to have your actual attention.

“You’re different at home.” It was a quiet observation this time, and behind his eyes you could see the smile there. He lifted the bottle of tea and took the smallest sip. He wasn’t looking at you anymore but you wondered what he meant by different.

“Like bad different?”

He swallowed the tea and was looking across the room at a wall of art you had assembled there.

“Nope,” he said cryptically, drawing out the vowel sound in the word and letting his lips pop with the P at the end and he pushed himself off the floor to his feet and made his way across the space to look at each piece you remember carefully hanging up the week you moved in. It was all silly art. Nothing valuable but every single bit of it made you happy whenever you looked at it.

“Different how?” It was probably the clothes. You were way too dressed down and you probably seemed like a different person to him. You couldn’t quite help the slight upset that you felt somehow. Like maybe you should have put on a little bit of makeup, or done something with your hair before he came. Maybe you should have put off the shower altogether. You held in the strange negativity you felt by his comment and held your breath when you saw the inhale he took as he turned away from the brightly colored hand painted horse wearing an eye patch painting he had been looking closely at.

“Different, different,” he said cryptically and you groaned out loud at being baited by his non answer.

Damn him. You heard the giggle in response and he shook his head at you with a tiny pop out of the tip of his tongue. This would not do.

“Just tell me, like different in a bad way or a good way?” you felt yourself being tricked by this but you felt so powerless. He was very good at it and he had seemed to have perfected his skills over the course of working with you.

“It’s not bad,” he said after a while of looking at you and there was a slow and steady sinking of his playful smile as he did it.

“You can have next Tuesday afternoon off if you just tell me,” you said it flippantly and you were almost completely finished with your work. An entire hour before the deadline. You could feel the end nearing. You could almost taste the bubbles of the beer you would sip on and you could already hear the music you would play on your speakers as you settled into the warm comforting pillows and fluffy blankets of your bed.

“The whole afternoon?” His eyes widened and his eyebrows lifted at the promise you apparently had just made to lose your assistant for an entire afternoon. At least you’d picked one of the less busy days to offer.

You casually shrugged and hit send, submitting everything you needed to submit, you saved your work on the cloud database that management all used and you began to close out all of those damned tabs that kept you chained to this work life.

“Okay, well, at work you're super professional and kinda scary and very intimidating,” oh boy he was talking now. Did he just call you scary? You could feel yourself making a face. It wasn’t one of your best. There was a pout involved.

“But here, you’re like,” his confidence seemed to falter and his eyes didn’t look at yours but rather did a little dance off to the side, “d-different.”

“I know you didn’t just use the exact same word I’ve asked you to define three times now, Byun Baekhyun.” You’d had enough and you snapped. It wasn't your finest moment.

You saw him physically flinch and then he started talking fast. In your defense you did feel a little bad when you saw the flinch.

“Different like, soft and cute different. Soft and cute, like a girlfriend would be different. That kind of different, Jesus.” He said all so fast and you could see the tension in his jaw as the words came out. “I mean, but not right now, you were very much exactly the same as you are at work, just now.” His eyes were wide and his finger was pointing as he spoke his last bit. Not that that part mattered because your mind replayed the parts he said before.

You saw sparkly little starbursts around the letters as they danced inside of your head.

Soft and cute.

Like a girlfriend.

“Oh,” was all you could manage to say. A slight flush crept up your cheeks and you focused all of your attention on unplugging cords on your laptop and oh so carefully putting everything in its rightful spot in the bag.

“I’m done,” you said softly without looking into Baekhyun's face. If he had anything further to add to that description of how very different you were at home, he didn’t offer it freely and you also didn’t ask a single follow up question.

You could feel a moment approaching. A kind of do-or-die moment. A speak-now-or-forever-hold-your-peace moment.

It was still raining outside. You could hear the steady drops hitting your patio through the sliding glass door and the nighttime city lights blurred as the falling water pulled the city view into a distorted and warbled mix of bright colors.

“It’s still raining out,” you said softly in his general direction and his eyes pulled up from where a comfortable stare had kept him looking into your eyes. He did not ask anything from you that required an answer. He looked at you and his eyes blinked but he didn’t speak. You could see that his drink was almost finished now, just as your work had been.

When he finally did speak it was after you’d both been watching the other for too long, wondering who would break first. It kind of seemed like his turn now, you’d managed the comment about the rain.

“Noona,” he said from the spot beside the horse.

I should go. I should leave. I have a long drive back home.

It’s getting late and the roads are wet, Baekhyun, you should stay at least for a while longer. You haven’t had any dinner have you? Let’s eat together. Don't go just yet. You only just got here.

“Hmm?” You hummed in response to him and your voice got halfway caught in your throat, making it come out as mostly air.

“Noona, I think—” He stopped speaking. He was looking ahead of himself holding on to the empty bottle of processed sugary green tea and he stood there with his eyes blinking faster now than when he started speaking to you.

And then his smile came. Oh it was bright and it was lovely, that smile that filled up his face, it didn’t reach his eyes entirely because he was shaking his head back and forth with the smile on his lips.

“Nevermind, Noona. I should go,” He said it softly and cheerfully and then he was moving. “Your Assistant has to leave.”

His smile was so bright and whatever he had been about to say to you was snuffed out instantly by the brightness and the forced cheerful way he declared his intent to leave this place; to leave you.

You had to respond in kind. You stood up quickly and you hid away every little bit of evidence of disappointment you might have betrayed and you played along with happiness about his departure. Maybe he really was glad to go. Maybe he was exhausted from the very long day and longed for the peace of his own home.

This was for the best, of course it was.

“Oh, okay.” You said. It came out a little bit like a whisper, but you still had that smile on your face so that meant something.

He was gathering his things and he was leaving. You couldn't blame him. He had done his part and completed the job needed today. He made sure to bring the blue harddrive to you and he saved the day, just like a good assistant did. The best assistant.

Baekhyun left quietly.

When the door closed there was a new silence in your home that you instantly hated. It was thick and it coated you from the top of your head down our shoulders and made you feel heavy. Lightning struck somewhere in the distance and it was loud enough for you to subconsciously begin counting the seconds to see how far away it was.

A few seconds later you heard the boom and you wished you had made him take an umbrella with him.

You wished he had stayed. You wanted him to stay. You wanted him to finish his thought. What was he about to tell you?

‘Noona, I think-‘

You’d give him a whole week off if he could come back and finish that sentence.

Your feet weren’t quite working. That claggy feeling that had taken over your body made your legs sticky and heavy and you were still standing by the door obsessing over those three words you heard repeated again and again in his voice for how long, you weren’t certain about. Through at least a few more thunderclaps though.

Just when you’d worked up the nerve to walk away from the door you heard an impossible sound ring out in your apartment.

It wasn’t thunder, but it hit you with just as much of a shock that you jumped and yelped in surprise from it.

It was the doorbell.

Someone was ringing your doorbell and it took you a few seconds to recover from the shock. You leapt forward and put a hand on the doorknob.

What if some crazy person had just seen Baekhyun leave and was waiting to hack you to bits with an ax?

You were cautious with it. It was close to midnight now and outside there was thunder and lightning, the perfect kind of weather to hide some poor woman’s screams as she was chopped to bits with an ax.

You tiptoed just enough to see through the peep hole and you could clearly make out the familiar blond head of hair and bright waving smiling face of your very own Byun Baekhyun. He held up his hand, displaying a plastic bag from what you assumed was the convenience store downstairs and you turned the handle and pushed it open.

“Noona!” He shouted as soon as the door was open. “Noona, you will not believe the day I have had at work.”

You were absolutely positive that your face looked only like wild with genuine shock and confusion, which he was flat out ignoring it right now.

“Baekhyun, what—” You began as you pulled the door open. He had a forward momentum about him though and you had to step aside to avoid being bumped as he walked right into your house, for the second time tonight, only this time, doing some sort of a bit. He walked with confidence and with purpose as if he had been here many, many times before.

“I just had to come and visit my favorite Noona to tell her all about my insane day,” he swallowed in the middle of his explanation. His eyes had a frantic look to them. “—my insane work day where I work with my manager?” His eyebrows were lifted in your direction expectantly and you watched his face with much of that exact same look of shock and confusion on your face. Only there was a bit more acceptance beginning to grow.

His bright smile did not quit and you found yourself betraying the tiniest hopeless laugh as you merely followed his steps inside your kitchen where he plopped down a six pack of beer and several bags of what looked to be snacks and assorted instant noodles.

Something felt different this time. You didn’t know how in the hell he did it but maybe it was because he was referring to your job and your manager title in the third person now, you really felt so much more at ease watching him walking around your kitchen doing things like putting some water on to boil in the kettle and reaching for chopsticks from your utensil drawers.

“So…” he began after opening two beers and handing one of them to you. He didn’t speak right away but he did lift his beer up and clink it against yours ever so slightly. You found an easy spot to sit and watch whatever this show he was putting on was from the bar stool on the other side of your kitchen counter. You had to admit, your mood was miles away from where it had been before your doorbell rang. The smiles felt natural and came easily to you now. This version of Baekhyun was the best one yet.

“So,” you lifted the beer to your lips and took a sip. “Tell me about your day.” You somehow felt that this was the right line for you and you reached for a bag of chips and ripped it open. This felt like exactly what you needed actually. A little gossip with a friend who thinks of you as his favorite Noona. The strangest excitement was building inside of you as he sighed dramatically and lifted his hands to his face for the sake of the story.

“It all started this morning Noona, I fucked up. I fucked up big time,” your mouth was full of chips and you crunched through the revaluation of this big mistake he had made.

“It can’t have been that bad,” you said through bites, faking ignorance for the sake of this game.

“So you know this big presentation that has been coming up? Like weeks we’ve been working our asses off, my manager harder than anyone? Well right before the presentation I made a huge mistake. Huge. Like world-ending.”

Your mind flashed back to the morning of this very long day. You knew the exact mistake he was talking about but he seemed to be working toward something here so you took another sip of your beer and ate some more chips as a response.

“Can’t have been that bad,” you repeated again. Your acting skills were always a little bit lacking. “What did you even do, it’s not like you did something like…kissed her right before she went on stage, right?”

His hands were covering his open mouth and you heard a dramatic gasp. “How did you know?” He said convincingly and you felt a big laugh escape.

“Wild guess, Baekhyun,” you said through laughter. Never in a million years did you think you would be talking about this with him and actually enjoying yourself. What kind of magician was he?

“So what did she do? What about the presentation”

“She fucking killed it, of course. I knew she would though, she’s incredible. I’m not kidding, she’s like,” his eyes were full and wide and he threw his head back and looked up at the ceiling, “like no one else.”

“So, it wasn’t that bad then, right? Why did you do it?” The fun on the surface game took on a slight feeling of trouble with your next question. You reached for another chip and Baekhyun turned his back on you to grab the screaming tea kettle from the stove.

“Why else does a guy kiss a girl?” You heard him say with his attention down on the boiling water that he was pouring into a single large sized bowl of instant ramen.

You bit down on your bottom lip and you watched the slight wobble in the water as it went into the paper bowl. His grip on the kettle seemed just a little unsteady now.

“Could there be lots of reasons why?” You began as unsteadily as the stream of water poured into the ramen bowl.

“Like maybe you just made a mistake, or didn’t mean to do that, or—”

His eyes looked up into yours with as much disbelief as he could manage and he exhaled a hard breath out of his nose and you pulled your lips closed quickly before you could come up with any more nonsense reasons for that kiss.

You knew with that single look from him, just how full-of-shit he found every single one of your reasons for the kiss. Still your mind had trouble connecting his intentions and the action itself. It was as if you’d been so far into the pit of denial now that you were having trouble finding the footing to crawl your way out of it. Baekhyun was trying to throw you a rope but you missed catching it every single time.

“Well, what did she say about it?”

His hands lifted the ramen and he put it up onto the counter beside you so the noodles could soften and you watched as he grabbed his beer and he walked around the kitchen island to take the bar seat right beside you.

He was very close to you now.

You could feel his arm against your shoulder when he sat down and his brows furrowed as he looked down into the covered bowl that sat between you both.

“She got mad at me after that,” he said softly, aiming his little pout toward the noodles instead of at you. “I don't think it was because I kissed her, but maybe it was. I don't know.” From his chest came a big sigh that absolutely did not feel like part of this whole act. In fact, every single thing he said had just enough of a touch into your eyes that you knew he meant every word he was saying to you now.

“This is why I’ve come to you, my very favorite Noona, for advice.”

He propped an elbow up on the counter and tilted his head, leaning against his hand. His eyes were watching you and he had just the smallest smile on his lips as he did it. His eyes sparkled in your direction and you felt the air around your head take on a static tingle the longer he looked at you like this.

This Baekhyun was so very dangerous simply because he was so disarming. All you wanted was to look into his face and to answer each and every one of his questions. All you wanted was to tell him the truth of it all.

It was terrifying.

“Maybe,” you began cautiously and his eyes blinked at you expectantly as you began to speak, practically rooting for you to go on with their eagerness. You had to bite down on your lip to keep from laughing. How could he have managed to pull this conversation out of you? You were falling for it so easily. You even found yourself wanting to fall for it as easily as you were. You felt bewitched and beguiled and you realized that you might have actually lost this battle a long time ago.

“Maybe?” He urged softly and he broke eye contact to open the lid and check on the noodles.

“Maybe she was mad at how you acted after the kiss?”

This suggestion brought a tilt to his head and he furrowed his eyebrows and searched his memory for a moment.

“How I acted? How did I act? Because I was nervous? Does she only like super confident guys?” You caught a souring of his face for a moment. “Maybe that’s why she liked Chet. All of that undeserved and unearned confidence. Ugh”

“Hey, she never liked Chet. Not like that. Chet was okay to work with, but that’s it.” You lifted your hands to draw a hard imaginary line in the air to emphasize your point.

“And besides, it might not have been about confidence or being nervous, Baekhyun. Maybe she got mad because you immediately switched from calling her something sweet like ‘Noona’ to something cold and sterile and ultra aloof like ‘Miss Manager’ and she thought that maybe you instantly regretted kissing her because you didn’t even mean it and you wished you could take it back and leave and never ever come back.”

Now you had done it. You could feel every cell in your body alive and on full alert from this sudden confession you had somehow been tricked into spewing out all over this countertop and Baekhyun was watching your face very closely for every single word of it.

He stared at you for a long time in silence and there was a slight sinking of his eyelids as he did it. After a while he inhaled a slow and steady breath that must have made his head feel too heavy because he tilted his head a tiny bit to the side and swallowed.

You could feel the time passing through this. You could feel every raindrop that fell on your patio outside. You could count the beats of your heart that echoed inside your ears and he wasn’t speaking at all.

Until he spoke at last.

“Nah, that’s not it.” He said after a deep inhaled breath and you swear to god you felt the earth open up below your feet and swallow you up. Or maybe you just wished it would.

Your eyes opened wide and looked up into the ceiling. You could feel the saliva inside of your mouth refuse to go down even though you swallowed like five times in rapid succession. Finally you couldn't stand to witness any more at all and you closed your eyes up tight and tried to focus on getting your heart rate or your breathing to calm down. It didn’t help much.

It felt horrible and humiliating. You were too close to being overcome. How could he…did he really intend to let you say all of that, admit to all of that and just…laugh at you for it like this? You felt close to an upset. You could feel the heat building behind your eyes and you knew you couldn't do this for very much longer and keep in control of your emotions. You’d already given way too much away.

It was two or three fingertips and that touched over the side of your face that first did it - that brought you out of it. Someone was touching you. Someone was begging you now. You felt the warmth on your face.

Those two fingertips on your cheekbone and you allowed your eyes to open just a little and you turned your focus over to face him. His eyes were on you now and you felt more of his slim fingers slipping along your face until you had turned into him and between the tremble in your lips and the warmth you felt all over your face; it must have felt like a fever with his hand on you like this.

“I’m kidding. I’m kidding. It was a bad joke, baby, I’m sorry,” he was whispering now but he had moved in so close to you that everything he spoke was like headphones sending his whispered words directly into your chest. The new name he called you in that careful cautious whisper of his spread through your chest like wildfire and you were consumed by it. It called to you again and again.

baby

Did he really just—

Did he really call you that with his hand on your face and the warmth of his own forehead leaning against your own and your whole body nearly ready to burst into flames under the heavy weight of his hand on your face?

You felt his other hand now, landing on the other side of your face and there was a pull to look up into his eyes. You had been avoiding them until now.

The pressure of this room made it hard to breathe with him so close to you and with the ghost of that ‘baby’ was still dancing around behind your eyes.

“Noona, I think,” he spoke softer now and your mind sharpened to the words he had told you earlier, the words he tried to say before he left, before he left as your assistant and came back to you just as Baekhyun; as just your Baekhyun. You must be dreaming. This didn’t feel real.

His words, the familiarity of them and desperately you repeated them to yourself after he left, these words once again teased on the tip of his tongue, they pulled your eyes into his and he was watching you from much too closely for you to really be able to focus on anything but the deep brown color of his eyes.

“Noona, I think we like each other.” He was looking into your eyes when he said it and you had no words to refute it. It was true for you and it must also be true for him.

You felt the warmth of his breath that came in short bursts from his parted lips against your face and when you leaned into him. You felt the softness of those pink lips mold into your own when you kissed him.

You felt the deafening silence as every single voice of reason and each and every alarm bell inside of you went still when you kissed him.

You felt the lighting strike hit close enough this time to send a bolt straight through your chest when you kissed him.

[To Be Continued]

Links: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

[teteaul]

Fanfic: vivid - CHANBAEK

SINOPSE: Baekhyun sempre foi um cara popular, que esbanja carisma por onde passa, chamando atenção seja para o bem ou para o mal. Nunca foi um cara seletivo, fosse com amizades ou com homens com quem passava a noite. Assim, quando ganhou fama de vadia da universidade, sequer se importou. Na verdade, Baekhyun já tinha se acostumado a ser visto dessa forma e não esperava nada de diferente. Porém, quando, sem querer, escuta uma conversa do capitão do time de natação, o defendendo de comentários machistas, tudo muda.

TAGS:CHANBAEK! ROMANCE, STRANGER TO LOVE! CROSSDRESS, FLUFFY,

Classificação indicativa: 18

[exosmutfactory]

Only Forever 008

Originally posted by byunvoyage

How long could you wait for the love of your life to decide you are his as well? How many times could you witness all his best moments of winning over agencies and the amount of clothes left overnight from his daily one night stands?

Main Masterlist | Bookclub zone | Chapter 8✓

networks — @/superm-net @/bbh-net

pairing — Baekhyun x You

word count — 3.7k

genre — model! baekhyun, playboy! baekhyun, friends to lovers! romance, angst, fluff, smut (eventually)

[ This chapter contains: a conversation, a night out, and a night in 🌻 ]

⏰💋 Only Forever Tag List: 💋⏰

@to-all-the-stories-i-love @you-n-me-e-e @insta1010 @bellamendoza @bbhflrt @weirdoome @marovekian1 @pearliejoy @soonvivi @jairahxelle @dynqstyna @xuxibelle

Chapter 8

You got me so high

“Let me get this straight.” Shea takes a long sip of her tea, staring you down from across the living room. She sits back and crosses her legs, her intense gaze and her arched brow leaving you feeling chastised even before she says what she is about to say.

“Let’s recap so that I make sure I got everything straight: you went on vacation together, skinny dipped, rubbed each other down under the pretense of ‘needing sunscreen’, came back home, got drunk, kissed him, many times, went on a date, got head, finally talked about everything with him and now you’re freaking out?”

You flush at her words despite your best efforts. Well, when you put it like that… You cough, hastily sipping your own herbal tea to give yourself time to respond. She hit the bull’s eye as always; her words are brief yet her message is effective. Leave it to Shea to get straight to the point; all facts and no bullshit, compiling your problems into a concise and cohesive way that eases up your worries, even if just a little, from how confidently she breeches the issue. “Yep,” you reply after a moment. She’s got everything down and out in the open, after all. What else is there to say?

—a lot, but you can’t even begin to put your feelings into words.

“That’s pretty ass backwards,” May mumbles from your left, followed by the quiet sounds of her munching on food and the crinkle of plastic containers.

“May!” you exclaim at her words, turning to her in surprise. You immediately freeze when you meet her gaze. The look in her gray eyes has you sliding down on the couch as if you could disappear if you tried. The bubbly woman has paused in her quest to sample the newest flavor of donuts from your favorite pastry shop downtown to regard you with an unwavering stare, similar to the woman sitting elegantly across from you both. You know it’s serious when your normally cheerful friend has stopped mid-bite to give you a pensive glance, studying the expressions on your face like an abstract painting hung up in a gallery. Very fitting, considering the fact that you feel very much like a well-preserved piece of organic material being pinned against a wall underneath your best friends’ pointed stares.

—Okay, maybe you are being a little dramatic with that statement. Just a little bit.

…

You rub the back of your neck, resisting the urge to wipe away the bead of sweat lingering on the edge of your eyebrow. Okay, okay, I take it all back. I feel hella intimidated right now.

‘Intimidated’ is the perfect word to sum up how you feel about this entire situation.

“She’s right. It is ass backwards,” Shea sighs, making you snort despite your racing heart. “But you guys talked it out, at least.”

“Yeah…” you trail off, looking at the far wall in the room as if it could give you all the answers to all the questions that you have in your heart yet can’t even decipher in your mind. Your hands curl tightly around the warm cup of tea in your hands, trying to slow your breathing by inhaling the familiar lemon and ginger scent. Citrus and spice. Just like—you stop that train of thought right in its tracks, but it’s already too late. The damage has been done. The memory of messy black hair and soulful brown eyes plays vividly behind your retinas.

Inhale. Exhale. You hold your breath for a moment and sigh deeply. Really? Is this who you are now? You have a lot going on in your life lately between school and work. There always seems to be so much to do in so little time. All the long hours bent over counters and laptops. Your bathroom sink has been added to the mix as well. The bags under your eyes call for a half-hour dedicated to concealing your sleepless nights in front of the mirror. Are you really about to add your social life to your endless list of stress too? I mean it wouldn’t be the first time — but you haven’t had it this bad since high school!

Shea’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts before you can fall into that rabbit hole. Seriously, the last thing you need is to dive into those memories right now. Thank you, next.

“But you still have questions?” Shea states the obvious, reading you like an open book.

Yeah, 7 years of friendship will do that to you. All you can do is nod slowly. You can play cool and nonchalant all you want. You’ve always worn your heart on your sleeve. Even if you mask it behind a dozen layers of steel, one good hit to your feelings and all your walls shatter like fragile glass. If anyone knows that, it’s the two other women in this room. There’s no point in hiding how you feel. “He’s so- I don’t know how to put it… Guarded?”

Shea nods in understanding and May lets out an exaggerated sigh followed by a quietly uttered “men” in a voice full of disdain.

“I can see both sides,” Shea admits, forever the voice of reason in your friend group. “The Fashion Industry is cutthroat. It is in everyone’s best interest to keep their personal lives separated from business.”

“But she is his personal life!” May interjects, emphasizing her point with a wave of her hands.

“I’m his girlfriend, not his entire life, May,” you gently remind her. You rarely jump in when she gets this fired up, but even if you’ve daydreamed about being the center of Baekhyun’s world in your youth, you knew better than to think that in your 20s now. 

“Yes, which is why I can see why he’s cautious about where and how you guys meet up together.” Shea goes to take another sip of her tea but then pauses. “However, there is a difference between trying to keep your relationship private and safe behind closed doors, and trying to keep you held back at arm’s reach in an emotional aspect.” A brief look of irritation passes over her beautiful features, but the expression is gone in a flash.

“That’s what I’ve been thinking,” you mumble, worrying your bottom lip with your teeth.

“Yes, but is that what you have been saying?” Shea pointedly raises her eyebrow, taking a long sip of her tea. Even May takes a ridiculously long time chewing on the sprinkled donut in her hand, her gray eyes piercing into the side of your face.

“...No.” You’ve known Baekhyun since you were kids, but there is still a lot about him you don’t know about — especially in a relationship context. Wait, has Baekhyun ever had a serious girlfriend before? Maybe one, or something close, but you can’t remember her name…

“You have to communicate with him, girl.” Shea sighs.

“Yeah, Baekhyun is amazing, but he isn’t a mind reader,” May points out, her cheeks puffed up with a honey-glazed donut.

“You… have a point.” Of course they do, as usual, but you’ve never been good at having these types of conversations. You’re learning. You’re trying your best but things still manage to fall through the cracks and it never seems like your efforts are enough.

“What is stopping you from communicating with him...? Has he been giving you the cold shoulder?”

Your eyes widen in horror at the dark expressions that flicker over your friends’ faces. “No!” you nearly shout, not wanting them to go there. “I-it’s not that at all.” They have good reasons to make that assumption based on your past, but it isn’t like that now.

“Then what is it?” May tilts her head, peering at you with curiosity.

“What is the issue?” Shea reiterates, her eyebrows furrowed in deep thought.

Again, they do have a point and make a pretty strong argument. But why are you so anxious? It’s just Baekhyun. Baekhyun, who protected you when you couldn’t look out for yourself. Who pushes you to be a better version of yourself every day, not just for everyone around you but for yourself as well. Even when he isn’t around, he is forever on your mind. Living rent fucking free. It frustrates you as much as it comforts you to constantly be thinking about him. He is one of the few people who has stuck by your side for all these years, through the thick and thin… and dammit, the thought of losing him keeps you up at night so often that you might just die a little inside — if you aren’t already.

“You’re scared.” Shea’s strong and crisp voice rings across the silent living room without an ounce of doubt.

“I…” you take a deep breath, running a shaky hand through your hair. “Yeah.” Once you admit it aloud, it feels so much more real. You hold onto the cold cup of tea in your hands for dear life, hugging it to your chest.

The dead silence in the room is crushing until Shea stands up from the couch. “Alright, cancel all your plans.” She’s already on her phone, crossing out the list of errands that she mentioned about completing earlier today. “We’re going out tonight.” 

And that’s how you find yourself at the newest club in town hours later, skipping the mile-long line outside thanks to May and her networking connections.

“Oh?” The happy-go-lucky woman acted surprised when you mentioned the odd look on the bouncer’s face before he hastily let you three walk in. “I may have tapped that,” May admitted in a cheerful tone, hiding her coy smile behind the glass in her hand.

You and Shea locked eyes and hid matching smiles, sipping alcohol-free drinks. That bouncer was quite the looker though…

What can you say? Great minds think alike — you’ve all been friends for almost a decade for a reason.

Let’s make it clear though; you only came out here tonight to let loose and spend quality time with your friends and only your friends. Girl’s night only. After this, you all will most likely go back to Shea’s place and crash on her comfortable couch until the morning. But right now? You indulge in crowd-watching, your eyes zeroed in on the dancefloor.

You lean back on your barstool and cross your legs, observing the suave men and seductive women going full out during a popular pop song. The flashing lights and disco balls make the nightclub look like something you would see in a 70s Motown music video. You’re not surprised that Shea wanted to check this place out. It’s lively with a nostalgic feeling in the air, plus the juice they serve is great and the DJ has played nothing but back-to-back bangers all evening.

You spot May in the middle of the dancefloor, dirty dancing with a tall woman in a little black dress. The stranger’s classic attire contrasts with the neon green dress that your bubbly friend manages to pull off flawlessly. You can hear May’s twinkling laughter from all the way over here in the brief transition between songs.

At least she’s having fun, you smile. The sight reminds you of that one time you told Baekhyun that you don’t dance, which was a half-truth. You have rhythm; you know how to read the room and catch a vibe. But that’s the problem, you get too into it and then the next thing you know some guy’s jealous girlfriend is pouring her drink down your dress because her man decided to glue himself to your backside like a leech — but we digress.

Your smile slowly fades with a deep sigh. There you go again. Like clockwork, once you think of Baekhyun you can’t get him out of your mind. You made sure to text him earlier today to tell him that you would be out with your friends tonight. Doing it made you feel uneasy, but it was necessary, right? Aren’t you supposed to let your significant other know when you are going out to a nightclub in your not-so-freakdum-but-not-completely-modest-either dress with your best girl friends by your side?

You don’t know. You don’t know and hours later you are still worried about it.

It’s not like Baekhyun reacted badly to you telling him. He told you to be safe and have fun, the usual reaction when you told him the same thing in the past — he has a life-long habit of showing up unannounced at your place — but that’s the problem. It was the same as usual. The usual as in how he responded back when you were just friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend.

Does he not care? What if he doesn’t? What if he does? — your endless stream of worried thoughts is relentless tonight.

Honestly, the fact that you keep thinking about it has you upset. It’s girls’ night! You’re supposed to be having fun, yet here you are, sitting alone at the bar, sipping at a drink that is more melted ice than citrus juice while worrying about whether you’ll go home to a screaming match in the morning, which is absurd! Why is your mind so set on comparing Baekhyun to the partners of your past?

Your ex’s face flashes through your mind, a vivid image of his face as he gave you that ultimatum: him or Baekhyun.

Oh brother. Fuck it. You clench your teeth and order a fruity cocktail. You need to be buzzed to get through the rest of the night after that memory pops up. Actually, scratch that — you need to be buzzed and shake off this feeling of dread. So you take your drink, chug it, set the empty glass on the counter, and make your way to the dancefloor to meet your two best friends.

Shea’s red bottom heels and May’s gray eyes reflect the club lights, leading you straight to them through the crowd of sweaty bodies. You smooth down the front of your loose yet form-fitting dress and stride right up to them. They take one look at you and pull you closer with one goal in mind: dance the night away until your makeup smears and you want to kick your heels off.

♡—♡-♡—♡—♡-♡—♡

A few days later you find yourself at Baekhyun’s door. You’ve only seen him once since the day you established your relationship. The summer months are always jam-packed with runway shows and elite events, but as the end of August draws nearer, he gets a few days off before the fall fashion season gets its claws dug into him.

Your baggy t-shirt slips off of your shoulder and you don’t bother readjusting it. It’s no use anyway, the oversized material will just fall down again like it has the other 100 times you’ve fixed it. You smooth down the front of your athletic shorts that sit loosely around your waist yet snug against your hips and thighs. Normally wearing an all-black outfit this time of year would be a death sentence, but with a cold front blowing in from the ocean, the nights have been cooler lately. Pair that with your slip-on running shoes and you are the embodiment of casual — which is ideal, considering the fact that you saw a camera flash on your walk into the apartment building.

You shuffle on your feet, nervously shifting your weight from side to side while having a staring contest with Baekhyun’s front door. The oakwood merely stares back, and if an inanimate object could judge you, you believe that his door would be at the top of the list from the number of times you have come here for one young adult crisis or another. Just remembering the amount of petty stuff you’ve bothered him about at 1 a.m. over the past 2 years has you flushing. God, why? Of all men to fall for, why did it have to be your best friend who knows practically everything about you?

Suddenly, the door opens and Baekhyun regards you with such a knowing look that you find the answer to your question within 15 seconds flat. This man knows you better than you know yourself in so many ways, and the familiarity in that, the comfort of being known for who you are and not what you can be is such a relief on your weary shoulders. You don’t have to make pretenses with him. He knows it all.

As a friend.

It strikes you right in the heart at that moment while you look into his warm brown eyes that reflect the brightly lit hallway lights, shimmers of stars sparkling in those soulful irises that you could spend lifetimes admiring. Baekhyun has accepted you as a friend time and time again. Through thick and thin. For better or for worse. But… will he do the same with you now? As the woman he is committed to?

“Hey.” Baekhyun’s low timbre pulls you from your thoughts. Just a single word from his lips has you filing away your worries to think about later. You take a good look at him as he braces his arm on the wall and leans against the doorframe. He’s wearing a black t-shirt that matches your own, but while yours is oversized, his fits snugly on his broad shoulders and defined biceps, stealing your breath away. Not like you have much breath in the first place when you’re standing in front of him, but still. Between that and the sweatpants resting low on his hips, you have half the mind to turn on your heel and run back home. Home date be dammed.

“Hi,” you utter in a small voice before hastily clearing your throat and standing up a little taller.

“I noticed you standing out here.” Baekhyun leans closer, his brown eyes scanning over you like an X-ray machine.

“Oh,” you reply, as smart as always under his unwavering gaze, “yeah, yeah I was.”

He hums and you think you are scot-free until he opens his mouth again. “Care to elaborate?” he tilts his head, his eyes dancing in amusement while he backs out of the doorway.

You sigh loudly as you step into his apartment. Dammit, you can’t get anything past this man. “I… might have been debating on whether to run away or not,” you admit in a guilty murmur, readjusting the collar of your shirt.

“Why? If I may ask.”

His words make you freeze in the middle of taking off your shoes. Baekhyun doesn’t usually ask if he can ask a question. He just asks. You glance over your shoulder at him, your running shoes still in your hand, and something about his earnest expression and the way his hands are in his pockets makes you lower your guard.

“I’m lost,” you admit quietly, struggling to maintain eye contact. “I know that we established our relationship and what we are to each other but I…” you take a shaky breath, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t know what I’m doing. Please tell me what dating and a relationship means to you because I-I,” your voice cracks as you stand up and look at him with a helpless expression. “I don’t want to mess this up.”

You bite your lip in an attempt to mask your vulnerability, surprised by how open you were just now. Usually, you would brush things off and downplay your stress and worries, not lay out all your cards on the table like this. It makes you feel raw and exposed. A sensation that you hate from all the times you’ve been dismissed in the past. If expressing fragile emotions was a chess game, you would keep your strategy under lock and key. But right here, right now, you’re willing to take that risk. Like your friends told you before, how will Baekhyun ever know what you are thinking if you don’t tell him about it? You just hope that he will take you seriously.

Baekhyun calls your name, his voice no louder than a whisper. He steps closer to you and cups your face in his hand, his brown irises gazing over your features. “You’re overthinking this,” he murmurs, brushing his thumb over the apple of your cheek. “What does dating mean to me?” he tilts his head before kissing your cheek. “Spoiling you, taking you on dates, exploring places we’ve never been to before.”

Your skin tingles and flushes as he brushes his lips over your cheek and kisses the tip of your nose. “What’s a relationship to me?” Baekhyun pulls away slightly to look into your eyes and your breath hitches at the fond expression written all over his handsome features. His lips brush over your temple before he presses a lingering kiss to your forehead, slipping his fingers into your hair as he cradles the back of your head in his hands. “Spending time together, holding you close, and talking with you like this when you get stuck in your head like the little idiot you are.”

“Hey!” you immediately protest and pull away from him, giving him a halfhearted glare.

“Come here.” Baekhyun chuckles and takes your hand, interlocking his fingers with yours. His brown eyes shimmer brightly like midnight stars while he guides you further into his home and to his living room. You gasp at the amount of snacks scattered across the coffee table and one of your favorite movies on the TV, waiting in the streaming service queue. And you gasp again when Baekhyun plops down on the couch and pulls up onto his lap, wrapping his arms around you. His citrus shampoo lingers in his hair, his clothes smell like French vanilla, and the mint on his breath leaves you speechless when he firmly presses his lips to yours.

In that moment, you finally let yourself relax, leaning back against his firm chest while taking a bite of the candy he holds up to your mouth. Baekhyun’s eyes crinkle with one of his rarest sweet smiles and you just live in the moment and block out the rest of the world for a while.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | PRE 7 | Part 7 | Part 7.5(M) | Part 7.75 | Part 8✓ | Part 9 | Part 10 |

A/N:

Hello! I’m up to my chin with schoolwork, but I pulled a few all-nighters to get this chapter done and I’m pretty satisfied with the outcome. This chapter will serve as a bridge between the first 7 chapters and the next 20+ chapters. And yes, there will be multiple parts to chapter 8 (those decimals shall strike again!) I just really needed to add more character and thought behind showing our OC’s thought process because for 3 whole years she even had me confused and I’m like??? Girl me too lmao.

This author’s note probably makes little sense (2am type of brain power right here) but I just want to say thank you for all the support you loves and readers have given this story. Thank you, Infinity team! Part 2 of chapter 8 will have more fluff between our couple, so look forward to that! See you next time~ (^-^)

[ksoology]

so hi disclaimer: this is a live reaction and I can't frame proper sentences to save my life

I knew everything about the premise of this fic beforehand (#perksof havingafanficwriterbestie) but it still didn't stop me from feeling devastated BC WDYM I NEED TO READ ABOUT THE CUTE MOMENTS AFTER KNOWING THAT THEY'VE BROKEN UP FOR COMPLETELY VALID REASONS SCREW REVERSE CHRONOLOGY

*clears throat* anyway let's move on to the screenshot gallery of despair

😭😭😭a few paras into the fic and i'm on the floor clutching my heart bc this felt too real

you have no idea how conflicted I felt reading this especially since the next part is a cutesy moment

one of the first few cracks in their relationship but I love how it was easier for them to patch things up in this part, unlike the future where they have given up 😭😭

and now for the scene (03.05.2020) that should be on it's way to a museum asap. OUGHH I can't screenshot the entire thing but the dialogue?? the light awkwardness?? the blushing, hand-holding, kissing etc etc?? how wonwoo pulls yn away from the rain and closer to him for warmth??? SCREECHING LIKE A PTERODACTYL RN HAHAHAHANDNDMDMDKDKF WHY ARE THEY BREAKING UP NOW NOOAURIFKFMFM

and pretty much all the scenes after this made me wonder if their their breakup was valid like the confession scene?? top notch. the part where y/n chokes on water because wonwoo exists??? top notch AND relatable. the first time they meet?? the cutest thing ever.

The realisation that their relationship which had begun with all these rose-tinted moments fizzles down to a mess because of misunderstandings and lack of communication issues hit me hard 😭😭😭😭😭

us, again || j.ww

“MAYBE NEXT TIME, IT WILL BE US, AGAIN”

PAIRING || Wonwoo x Female Reader

GENRES || Angst, Fluff, Strangers To Lovers AU (?), Reverse Chronology

SUMMARY || If crush at first sight was a thing then you were a fine example of it. How you were heads over heels with a man you had just met was beyond you but you all you knew was Jeon Wonwoo had occupied every bit of your mind and heart. But when you and him finally began dating, little did the two of you expect a your relationships to turn out this way.

Or, in which, you and Wonwoo unfortunately have a happily never after ending.

WARNINGS || none

WORD COUNT || 11.3k

A/N || This was so self indulgent that it almost hurt me to write this fic TT. Based on my interaction with the guy I liked it in college and no we did not end up together i really hate you @wonumatics for instigating me to write this but ngl, it was so so easy to write this and was a huge change for the crazy writers block my other fics have been facing :D. The story is written in a different way, sorry if it's too confusing but i just wanted to try out smth new for this.

TAGLIST || @hanicore @alyssng @hyneyedfiz @weebotakuboy @aaniag @jjeongddol @k-drama-adict @thepoopdokyeomtouched @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hrts4hanniehae @mnstxmnbb @athanasiasakura @doubleshoticedshakenespresso @escoupseu @asasilentreader @isabella29 @mrswonwooo @wonvsmile @nonononranghaee @cheolsboo @hoichi-02 @lanatheawesome @sana-is-ms-rmty @gaslysainz @sea-moon-star @dinossaurz @veriety-is-the-joy-of-life @tinkerbell460 @bluewbwerry @iamawkwardandshy @hoeforcheol @kawennote09 @gyuguys [if you want to be added to my taglist, fill in this form!]

30.09.2024

You stood on a familiar path, the autumn leaves decorating the path just like how it had when you and Wonwoo had walked through it years ago.

Cold wind blew against you but you were so numb with emotions that it didn’t even matter. You took out a photo from your pocket; it was the one you and Wonwoo had taken at the amusement park.

You smiled involuntarily at the memories; even though you had been very scared of the rides, Wonwoo made each ride as rideable as he could.

And you were thankful to him for that.

In fact you were thankful to him for many things. Especially loving you back and giving you his time.

But maybe this lifetime wasn’t meant for the both of you.

“Next time.” You muttered, folding the paper and slipping it back to your pocket. “Maybe next time, it will be us, again.”

30.06.2024

It had been six months since Wonwoo moved out and words couldn’t describe how much you missed him. Even though he was always running in your mind, there were certain times when you missed him even more.

Like now.

You were lying in bed all alone, the morning sun being up for hours. But you were too lazy to wake up, missing the warmth your boyfriend used to give you whenever you snuggled to him or the smell of food as he attempted to cook breakfast for you.

Honestly all you were doing was staring at the ceiling, the feeling of missing Wonwoo almost gnawing at your heart as you glanced at the missed call of his on your phone screen.

The first two months had gone really smoothly. You didn’t mind being woken up early or going to bed late just to talk to him and neither did he. But as the days progressed, you found yourself having to prioritise work or other things before him. And so did he.

Slowly, you two began missing each other’s calls, resorting to texts. 

You both still texted a lot but it wasn’t like talking to him face to face. You missed seeing his face, hearing his voice and the tears pricked your eyes when you realised just how lonely you were feeling.

Or some days you were just too tired to stay awake and fell asleep.

Exactly what had happened yesterday night. And now the guilt along with the longing to be in his arms and bury your face into the crook of his neck to inhale his scent was eating you up.

You took the phone in your hand, wondering whether or not it was the right time to call him.

What if he was sleeping?

But it wouldn’t hurt to give it a shot, right? 

Thinking that, you hit the call button and waited for Wonwoo to pick it up. But even after multiple rings he didn’t pick up, and you sighed before throwing the phone beside you on the bed.

He was probably asleep.

You missed him so much. So, so much. 

You weren’t sure how long you could go about living like this anymore. You had applied to be shifted to the same country as Wonwoo and you were still waiting for the approval. 

But the wait was eating you up.

When was the last time the two of you talked? You couldn’t even remember.

What had gone wrong in the relationship? You weren’t sure. The two of you had promised each other that you won’t be like how you had begun to be whilst living together; missing dates, missing out on talking to each other etc but now it was worse. He was on a whole different continent and you had no way of reaching him even if you wanted to.

You thought of all the time the two of you argued, wondering why you even did that in the first place. Instead the two of you could have made better memories which you could have looked back at now.

And the more you thought of it, the more you realised that most of the arguments were started by you. 

But all because you felt like a burden to him.

It was always you who had to do everything first. You were the first one to reach out to him, The first one to confess. The first one to kiss. The first one to always compliment him. And while you loved his introvertedness you realised with a jolt how that made you exhausted sometimes, being an introvert yourself.

Yet for him you always went out of the way. Trying your best to impress him and shower him with love even in ways you were never that comfortable in.

Shut up!

Why were you having such negative thoughts? Wonwoo loved you. And he always made sure you knew it. So why were you questioning it now?

But no matter how much you tried to shrug off the feeling, you couldn’t stop the pain blossoming in your heart.

Were you both really not meant for each other?

Was that why things had started going down during college itself?

Maybe everyone was right. Wonwoo and you were never meant to be with each other. The two of you might have loved each other, but you just weren’t meant for each other.

No, no, no! Stop these thoughts right now!

You thought of when Wonwoo had come back home three months agp, staying back for fifteen days to visit you, his family and friends.

Back then you had promised him that you would go out with him every single day to make up for all the time you had lost. Had promised the love of your life to give him every second you could.

But you couldn’t.

Right at that time an important project had popped up, nearly rendering you sleepless and breathless. You barely went back home, let alone get time to spend with him.

And before you knew it, it was time for him to leave. You cried so much on the day he left but no amount of tears would bring back the time you had lost and not managed to give him.

Maybe you both weren’t compatible.

Maybe this was your fate. To fall in love with someone who was never meant to be yours in the first place. Someone who deserved better.

Pushing yourself up from your bed, you sighed, making up your mind.

You just couldn’t live like this. Not anymore. 

And you were going to put an end to it.

20.12.2023

“Hey,” You greeted him with a smile as you opened the door, taking in his tired appearance. “Long day?”

“Yeah.” He muttered, stepping into the house. You reached forward to help him shrug off his coat but instead, he pulled you into a hug. 

You found yourself immediately melting into his warmth that encased you, hugging him back equally tight. “What’s wrong?” You asked, gently patting his back.

“What, I can’t hug my girlfriend?” He muttered into your hair, and you found yourself giggling at his actions. “Yeah, you totally can. Lean into me as much as you want, baby.”

After what felt like an eternity Wonwoo pulled away, finally grinning at you. “That felt great.”

You smiled back at him. “Good. Then how about you freshen up while I set up the table? I’m done making dinner.”

“No.” He whispered, suddenly sounding urgent. “We, uh, we need to- we need to talk.”

You look at him, confused as to why he was acting so serious. “About what? What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“I- uh, I-” He stammered. Then lowering his head so that it was resting on your shoulders, he murmured. “I’m getting transferred.”

“What?” You asked, not sure if you heard him correctly. “What was that Woo?”

“I’m being transferred. Abroad.”

You stayed silent for a few seconds, letting his words sink into you. 

Transferred abroad.

Slowly, you pulled him away from you so that you could see his face. Wonwoo averted his eyes down and his grip on you tightened.

“You’re…what?” There was no way this was happening right? There was no way Wonwoo was moving away. A hollow sensation filled the pit of your stomach. How were you going to live without being able to be with him everyday?

“Moving abroad. It’s- it’s a better pay and I thought-”

“Wonwoo.” You said, smiling at him as you took his hands in yours. “Do you want to?”

“What?” He asked, sounding confused now. “Do you want to go abroad?” You repeated your question.

“Yeah, I-” He looked down at your intertwined hands. “I do.” He murmured, barely audible. “I do. It’s a great opportunity. But I don’t want to leave you. I can’t imagine-” he sucked in a breath before continuing, “-living without you.”

“Neither can I.” You muttered. “But, if you’re happy, then I’m happy. If moving out is what you want to do, I will wholeheartedly support you. Even if it makes me sad, it will make me sadder knowing I held you back.”

“So… you aren’t upset at all?” He asked. You smiled at him as sweetly as you could, feeling it wobble a little. “Nope.” You choked a bit. “I won’t miss you at all .”

Wonwoo chuckled, before sniffling and to your shock you saw a tear glide down his cheeks. “I love you so much. I’ll miss you so much.”

“Oh Woo.” You sobbed, you too crying as you gently rubbed away the tears from his cheeks with your thumb. Laughing a little as another sob escaped you, you pulled him into a hug. 

Your hands dug into his back as you cried, letting the tears fall now. He too clutched you tightly, as though you might disappear if you let you go even a bit. 

“Do you think we can do it?” He sniffled, to which you nodded. 

“I know we’ve talked about how slowly everything is starting to feel like a chore now, and it’s no more like it used to be in college but I promise you, I’ll keep in touch. I’ll never ever let you go.” You whispered into his shoulder.

“Me too, love. Me too. I promise too.” He said. “I cannot even imagine breathing without you.”

“At least we won’t have missed birthdays or dates.” You joked, still crying. You felt Wonwoo chuckle, his chest rumbling. “Yeah. I’ll call you to greet you good morning and good night no matter the time or day and I expect you to do the same.”

“Right.” You sighed into his chest. “Should we start making a list right now?” 

17.08.2023

Ding!

You jumped awake at the sound of the notification, searching for your phone in a daze.

9.30 pm.

Groaning, you stretched your hand over your head, trying to get the tiredness out of your system. Looking around with a sigh, you wondered why no one had bothered waking you up. Even though the office was sparsely populated at this time, you had thought some of your friends would have woken you up if they caught you falling asleep.

Unless they all had left before…

The last week had been an extremely busy week, with a new project coming up and Wonwoo’s surprise birthday party planning-

Oh no. Oh no.

Hurriedly, you grabbed back your phone, switching it on to check the date and time again. It couldn’t be today, could it-

You were greeted with at least twenty missed calls from your common friends, Mingyu and Wonwoo.

“Shit, shit, shit.” You muttered, quickly searching up Mingyu’s contact and hitting the call button.

After two rings, he picked it up. 

“Hey, Y/N.” He said, sounding mildly annoyed. And Mingyu rarely got annoyed.

“Oh god, Gyu! I’m so, so sorry! I was so exhausted I fel asleep and completely lost track of time-”

“Well, you could have set an alarm since you knew today was an important day.”

“I know, I know.” You said, already packing your things up as quickly as you could. “It’s totally my fault. Where are you guys? It will take my just fifteen minutes to reach home if I run and then you can bring Wonwoo over-”

“It’s okay, Y/N.” He cut you off. “We went to a bar instead and celebrated, but he wanted to leave early. He’s at Seungcheol’s now and he said would come over to the apartment once he was okay.”

You had been running out of the building by then but you stopped, pausing to swallow at what Mingyu had just told you. “Oh god, so he- so he doesn’t want to see me? I- I should call him and apologise-”

“Oh, he told me to tell you that you shouldn’t call him or text him for a while, not until he’s over this.”

You felt your knees buckle as you covered your face with your free hand to stop the tears from falling out. You felt so torn. And so heartbroken.

You had planned all day and night for this party. You wanted it to be special for him. Wanted it to be something that he would remember for a very long time.

But now even though he would remember it for a very long time, it would be for the wrong reasons.

“Listen Y/N. It’s okay. Work happens and I know it's terrible forgetting someone’s birthday and being forgotten on your birthday but I’m pretty sure you both will be able to work it out.” Mingyu said.

“Yeah.” You sniffled, feeling like the world had just come crashing down. “I’ll let him call me.”

You heard Mingyu cut the call and stayed in the same position for some time, trying to control your emotions. You had been feeling so overwhelmed this week but you had really wanted to give Wonwoo the best birthday party you could. 

But all your efforts had gone down the drain and also your boyfriend was mad at you. 

You couldn’t imagine how Wonwoo felt and that made it worse.

This wasn’t the first time either of you were forgetting a date. Ever since the two of you started working it was like all the free time of your life had been sucked out. Which was why you both had decided to move together in the first place. So that even if it wasn’t possible to go on dates you would at least see each other and be close to one another.

But forgetting his special day was… on a whole different level.

The first rain drop hit your head at the same time you finally shed a tear, unable to hold back anymore. You sobbed heavily as it started raining, feeling the rain wash away your tears even before you felt them.

With a jolt you realised you had left your umbrella back in the office in a hurry to leave, and by that time it was too late. You were already drenched as you got up slowly, feeling the rain hit every bit of your wet skin now.

Sighing once more, you slowly trudged towards your apartment. You remembered how Wonwoo always used to pick you up whenever it rained whether or not you had an umbrella.

Maybe you deserved the rain. 

13.06.2022

“I could get used to this.” Wonwoo muttered, before edging closer to you to peep into your answer. Flushing in the face, you hastily closed the book shut before shooting your boyfriend a glare.

“What?” He asked, sounding hurt.

“Don’t- don’t look at my answers!” You said, looking down in embarrassment. “They’re all wrong probably.”

The truth was, you were terrible at gas propulsion and had asked Wonwoo to do a group study in hopes that you would be able to understand something from him at least. And so far you hadn’t even asked him to show you how to solve even one problem, feeling embarrassed that he would think you’re an idiot if you did.

Which was funny because it was almost three years that the two of you had been dating and yet you still felt embarrassed and shy around him. (You were not sure at this point if it was a good thing or a bad thing.)

“As if. You’re not that bad.” Wonwoo huffed, gently reaching out to grab the book from your hand.

“That’s right. I’m terrible.” You muttered, accepting defeat and letting him open your book. Wonwoo didn’t say anything as he stared at your almost empty page and you were sure he was snickering inside.

Instead, he asked, “Why didn’t you tell me you were not getting these sums?”

“I, uh.” You looked down, feeling your cheeks heat up. Suddenly you felt his finger grip your chin and angle your head up, so that you were forced to look at him. “Look at me, baby.”

You felt your cheeks flush even more.

“Yeah, uh yeah. Sorry.” You muttered, unable to tear away your eyes from his intense yet soft ones. “I, uh, didn’t want to bother you.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m always here to help.” He said, before leaning in to press his lips against yours. Your mouth automatically parted as his breath hit yours, feeling soft lips encase yours. 

“I just don’t want to look stupid in front of you.” You muttered, your lips brushing against his. “Don’t want to burden you.”

“First of all, you’re not stupid. Just because you don’t get a subject doesn’t mean you are stupid. Second of all, you are not a burden to me. You never were and you never will be. So don’t you dare think that again” Wonwoo said, frowning at you. 

You leaned back to look at your boyfriend who was still looking at you slightly angrily, as though you had just insulted him. You felt a smile tug at the corner of your lip.

“I love you so much Wonwoo.” You whispered, taking his hand in yours. Wonwoo’s cheeks turned a dusty pink as he smiled back at you, placing another peck on your lips.

“I love you so much, too. Now come here while I explain these sums to you.” He said, sitting at the spot on the sofa right next to him.

“By the way.” You said, crawling over to him. He wrapped an arm around your back so that the two of you were cuddling, and he placed the book on your lap. “What did you mean by ‘I could get used to this’”?

“Oh I just meant that I could get used to coming over and studying with you.”

“Aren’t you romantic?” You joked, scrunching up your nose in fake disgust. “Are these study sessions replacements of our dates?”

“Hey at least we’re together and I’m not ditching you like the shitty boyfriend I was.”

“You weren’t shitty-” You began before he cut you off.

“No, I was. I could have at least informed you. You were always so understanding if I cancelled it even at the last minute even though you always kept your promises. So I’m determined to make changes now.”

“Wow.” You said, placing a kiss on his cheeks as you melted at his touch even more. He was always so warm and comforting and that always calmed you down. “I’m really beginning to enjoy my final year of college.”

“I have loved college since the very first day when I laid my eyes on you.”

Your cheeks heated up more quickly than you had wanted it to and you smacked him on the face lightly. 

Which he dodged by turning his face at the last minute, kissing your fingers instead.

“Woo!”

“But seriously.” He continued, his voice dropping lower as a serious look masked his face. “I liked you so much but I never knew how to tell you that so I was over the moon when you confessed to me.”

“And I was so sure you would not like me back ever that I was jealous of you and Sohye when I first saw her.”

“Awww.” He cooed, causing you to glare at him. “My baby was jealous?”

“Not that jealous. Don’t get yourself too ahead Mr. Handsome.”

“And wow! You think I’m handsome too?”

You laughed at his antics, wondering for the millionth time how you were so lucky to end up with him.

“It’s okay baby, I think you’re pretty too.” 

18.09.2021

“I waited for an hour!” You snapped at the phone, before inhaling sharply to calm yourself down. You did not want to get mad at Wonwoo but this time, he had taken things too far.

“It’s the third date in a row!” You hissed into the phone as you kicked the door of your shared apartment open, striding in angrily after throwing your shoes towards the shoe rack. “Do you not respect my time?”

“Baby.” You heard Wonwoo inhale too, as though trying not to raise his voice at you. As calm as Wonwoo always was, you always knew when he was angry. And with how dangerously low his voice had dipped right now, you could tell he was fuming at you too. “Try to understand. I’m not doing this on purpose-”

“But you’re not the only one with an internship, Jeon Wonwoo!” You interrupted him, finally losing it all. “I’m doing my internship and managing my outings too. I always put away my time for you Wonwoo. When you ask to go on a date, I always manage to squeeze time.”

“First of all, I rarely ask to go on a date because I know you’re busy. Second of all… well I’m sorry my internship is not as flexible as yours but do you really not care about my internship-”

“You could have called and told me!” You screamed, throwing the phone on to the bed before crashing into it, tired. tears pricked your eyes. “You could have told me Wonwoo. I wouldn’t have been mad. I would have understood. Instead you made me sit there like a fool and all because you completely forgot about me.”

“Baby?” Wonwoo sounded panicked. “Are you- are you crying?”

“No.” You sniffled, aggressively rubbing away your tears. “I’m not.” 

“Shit, sorry baby.” Wonwoo said. “I'm so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you at all. It’s just that this stupid internship just randomly throws in dates to do the work.

“I know.” You muttered, letting the tears fall smoothly now. You felt so hurt. You were mad at him for not even telling you that he wouldn’t be able to make it. The both of you were barely able to meet up with each other even though it was summer break and you had begun to miss him more than you had expected. 

But what hurt more was that Wonwoo never informed you if he was not able to make it to the date, and you felt like a burden to him. Like he was only agreeing to them in the first place because you asked to go on dates.

“My work gets over at 3 pm today.” Wonwoo said softly. You kept quiet, silently asking him to go on as you had no idea what he was trying to suggest. “So if you want I could get some takeout and drop by your apartment by four to watch a movie. How does that sound?”

You sucked in a breath harshly. “Really?” You asked, sounding a bit sceptical. “You mean it?”

“We could rewatch frozen if you want to?” 

“Really?” This time you exclaimed, almost jumping out of the bed in happiness. You felt yourself fall in love with Wonwoo all over again at his efforts to make up for the failed dates.

“Yeah baby. I promise I’ll be there.” He said.

“Well, you even promised that you would come today-”

“Hush. No, I won't repeat that ever again. I’ll never make a promise that I can’t keep from now on. Ever.”

“Promise?” You giggled, already stepping into the shower freshen up.

“Promise.” He said. 

23.11.2020

“So your parents aren’t home?” Wonwoo asked as you carefully balanced the bowl of popcorn in one hand and nachos in the other, eyebrows scrunched in confusion before placing them on the tea table in front of him. Then, sitting down beside him on the sofa you nodded to his question. “Correct. So no funny business, okay? They lectured me for an hour about trust and responsibility before leaving.”

“No funny business, huh?” He muttered, eyes flicking over you lazily, causing your cheeks to heat up like it did every time he did that. He tilted his head and smirked at you, before suddenly grabbing you by your waist and jerking you towards him. You let out a yelp as your back hit his chest but before you could wiggle out of this position, he tightened his grip on you.

“I wonder what funny business they could be talking about. “ He whispered, thumb gently rubbing small circles over your stomach, the thin fabric of your t-shirt letting his warmth seep into your skin. 

“You know what they mean.” You muttered, cheeks flushed in embarrassment as you stared at his arm wrapped around your body. You always loved his arms for some reason. Loved the way his muscles flexed every time he cuddled a kitten, loved the way his veins slightly popped out when he held your hands in his. 

“Oh no. I couldn’t possibly know what they mean, right?” 

“Wonwoo.” You groaned, leaning back a little so that your head was resting against his shoulder. He chuckled in response, pressing a quick kiss on your forehead. “Sorry it’s just…you’re so adorable when you’re so flustered.”

“Says you when you were the one who looked scandalous after Mingyu kissed his girlfriend.”

“That’s because he is only allowed to kiss me.”

You turned back to give him a dry look, but all you got from him was a laugh (much to your delight though). 

“I hate you so much.” You said before looking away, still leaning back so you were sitting comfortably against his chest.

“And I love you so much.” He muttered, his deep voice rumbling behind you. A second passed before his words finally settled in, causing the two of you to freeze. You tensed up in his arms and felt him too still behind you. 

I love you so much. 

Love. He loved you.

And it was like Wonwoo’s words had broken down the dam in your heart because as the river came down crashing, you felt a surge of emotions flow through you, hitting you with a realisation.

You were in love.

You were in love with Jeon Wonwoo. 

Slowly, you turned back to look at him, blinking at him a little as he too stared back at you with a shocked expression.

“I’m- I’m-” He stammered, unable to meet your eyes anymore. You could hear your heart hammering in your ears as you asked softly. “Wonwoo? Did you mean that?”

Slowly, he looked back up at your face, cheeks flushed before giving you a small nod. “Yeah.” he muttered. “I love you.”

You felt your mouth fall open slightly, as you felt your heart skip a beat. “Oh, Woo.” You whispered, gently cupping his face. “I love you too. I love you so much.”

Wonwoo blinked at you for a few seconds before breaking into a shy smile. You too felt your cheeks heat up again, before looking away, unable to maintain eye contact anymore. Your hand slipped off his cheek onto your lap but he immediately reached out to grab it in his, bringing it closer to him so that it was resting on his lap. 

Silence engulfed the two of you like many other times and like all them, it wasn’t uncomfortable. You could still feel your heart hammering loudly at your chest as you tried not squeezing Wonwoo’s hand too tightly out of the little sparks of excitement you were feeling.

After some time, you heard Wonwoo speak. “Well…that was sudden.”

“Yeah.” You giggled, unable to contain yourself anymore. “You would think we just started dating. Who would think it's been almost a year?”

“It doesn’t feel like a year. And I love the fact I still get butterflies in my stomach when I look at you or even think of you.” He whispered. 

You wondered if couples who were ‘comfortable’ with each other still felt this shy still but you pushed away that thought from your head. People still felt butterflies years into their marriage right? Which meant they were still nervous even after all these years.

“Me too.” You whispered back, before snuggling into his body. Wonwoo immediately wrapped his arms around you and you melted into his touch, finally turning your concentration back to the movie.

03.05.2020

“Should we leave?” Wonwoo asked, sliding his fingers into yours as he came and sat down on the empty chair beside you. You tore your attention away from what you were talking with Sohye and her small group of friends towards your new boyfriend.

The party was still going on but as soon as your eyes landed on him everything, including the dazzling lights seemed to dim away despite having spent the majority of the evening with him.

His eyes seemed to be shining behind the glasses as his lips curled into those soft smiles that always had your heart racing at a thousand kilometres per hour. You stared back at him as his lips moved slowly, nearly melting in his beautiful brown eyes, your heart squeezing painfully.

“Earth to Y/N?” Sohye’s voice brought you back to the present, causing you to jerk as you looked at her in surprise just as she let out a laugh. You looked around the group in embarrassment as the other girls too giggled, trying to figure out what they were talking about.

“Oh god Sohye.” Dahyeon giggled, “Why did you stop the love birds?”

“Shut up.” You muttered, breaking eye contact to glare at the girls. You heard Wonwoo chuckle beside you, causing your cheeks to heat up more as you felt his voice rumble in your chest too. 

“We’ll be bidding our goodbyes then.” The chair beside you scraped as Wonwoo got up, causing you to look up at him. He extended his hand to you and you lightly placed your hand over it, not expecting him to grip it tightly and pull you up. You managed to mask your look of surprise with a sudden laughter, waving goodbyes to everyone as you allowed Wonwoo to pull you through the crowd.

Even though it was hot at the party, especially with your heavy makeup and large earrings that you chose to wear, you could still feel the heat of Wonwoo’s palms searing through your skin. You were very conscious of his soft skin against yours, but you decided to ignore it for now as you stumbled through the crowd and finally made your way out.

The cold wind hit you almost immediately and you found yourself gasping in relief, not realising just how suffocating the house had been. It wasn’t like you weren’t enjoying yourself, but too much social interaction had drained out your battery completely.

“Are you okay?” You heard Wonwoo ask and you nodded, unable to meet his eyes for some reason. “Really?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You muttered, turning to face him but looked over his shoulder instead. 

“Hey,” he said, grabbing your wrist that caused you to finally look at him. “Look at me.”

“I am.” You squeaked, and then cleared your throat and spoke normally again, “I am.”

Wonwoo smiled softly at you, causing your knees to go wobbly again. “Now you are. What’s wrong? Did Sohye make you feel uncomfortable? Did one of the girls say something-

“What? Oh no, Woo!” You cut him off in surprise. “No no no. Sohye was amazing! And so were the other girls.”

You hadn’t realised how tense Wonwoo was until right now, as he relaxed his shoulders and let out a breath.

“Thank god. I was worried for a second. Then what’s bothering you?”

You bit your lips, unsure how to go about it. “Well, I kind of hoped- kind of thought we would get to hang out with each other more. It’s the first time we saw each other face to face after I… after we confessed. So yeah, I had hoped to spend more time with you.

“Oh.” Wonwoo looked at you apologetically. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realise- I didn’t think- Oh shit I’m so sorry. I was excited to see you but I thought you wouldn’t want to see me or would want to hang out with the girls.”

You cocked your head to the side in confusion. “Why would I not want to see you?”

He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, unable to meet your eyes now. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I was thinking.

“It's okay.” You said, suddenly feeling slightly uncomfortable. You didn’t want to make things awkward at the very beginning of your relationship itself so you decided to let the topic go instead. Besides, Wonwoo was on the quieter side. Maybe he didn’t know how to communicate it with you.

Just as you were about to step out of your house the first droplet of water hit your shoes, and Wonwoo immediately pulled you back into the veranda where the two of you had been standing. Within two seconds it started pouring, getting you both stuck there.

“Do you want to go in?” You asked Wonwoo, wondering if you both should take shelter back in the house. The rain wasn’t falling on either of you but you wondered if he would rather use this time to talk to his friends than you.

“Are you cold?”

“Um, no.”

“Then I’m okay here. I didn’t spend time with my beautiful girlfriend and now she’s rightfully upset with me.”

Heat rushed up your cheek and you playfully hit his shoulder. “Don’t- don’t throw around that word just like that!”

He grinned at you, stepping closer so that you could feel his body heat radiate off his skin and causing goosebumps to form on your arms due to the cold. “What words?”

You groaned, rolling your eyes at him. “You’ll be the end of me Jeon Wonwoo. Please don’t make me flustered.”

“Aw, but you look so cute doing that!” He pointed out, his words making your stomach jump again. You glared at him.

“You did it again!”

“I’ll do it a thousand times more if it means getting to see you this way.” 

You turned her head away from him so that he couldn’t see you flushing like that when you felt his knuckles brush against yours. You took this opportunity to wrap your hand around his. His palms were still warm and comforting and it made you realise just how cold you were because of the rain. 

He gave your hand a squeeze which caused you to look at him again. Wonwoo smiled at you, turning his head a little to the side as he gazed at you softly. 

“Hi.” He whispered.

“Hi.” You giggled back.

“You look beautiful today. Did I tell you that before?”

“Only seven times before right now.” You laughed.

“Right. That’s because you look gorgeous everyday-”

You were not sure from where the sudden urge or courage came, but hearing him compliment you for the millionth time that day broke something in you and you found yourself leaning up to smash your lips against his. As soon as his lips touched yours you felt sparks go off in your heart, causing you to close your eyes shut and enjoy the tingling sensation you felt all over your body.

But two seconds later, you realised what you were doing and with a gasp you jerked back.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry-”

Your sentence was cut off as Wonwoo captured your mouth in his, enveloping your lips in warmth. Your eyes fluttered close when you felt an arm go around your waist and you clutched his shoulder to steady yourself. 

Your stomach kept somersaulting every time Wonwoo moved against your lips, every single second feeling electrifying. Slowly, you cupped his warm cheeks with your hands, kissing him back with everything you had.

Because you felt like you were in heaven. His searing mouth on yours felt like heaven. Every bit of skin his other hand touched left a shock at its wake and you felt like you were going to combust there and there.

After what felt like an eternity and you were nearly out of breath, you broke apart, gasping for breath. Your cheeks were on fire and you could still feel his breath on your lashes, making you unable to look at him.

“Y/N.” Wonwoo whispered, his voice sounding a bit hoarse.

Slowly, you looked up to meet his eyes. Your knees nearly went weak and you were glad he was holding on to you as soon as your eyes met his soft, dark ones. They were filled with so much emotion that you felt your heart would burst.

He leaned in until your foreheads were touching, and you felt yourself smile at the gesture.

“Hi.” He whispered, his lips brushing against yours slightly.

“Hi.” You whispered back.

27.07.2019

“I ordered your favourite cake.” 

Wonwoo greeted you with a smile as you practically ran into the cafe, breathing very hard as you tried to catch your breath. You smiled back weakly at him before sitting down on the chair opposite to him, fanning yourself lightly, praying that you weren’t sweating too badly.

“Thank you.” You whispered in between breaths and he just smiled more widely at you, the familiar spark shooting up your stomach. “I’m so, so sorry that I’m late. I completely miscalculated how much time it would take me to reach here and the traffic was so bad that-”

“Hey.” He whispered, reaching forward to hold your hand in his. He gave it a gentle squeeze that shut you up completely, looking down at both of your intertwined hands. “Don’t stress about it. I just saw that your favourite flavour was there but it looked like a lot of people were buying it so I wanted to get it before it went out of stock. I’m not upset that you are late. Traffic can be really stressful.”

You stared at him for a second, heart swelling at his sweet gesture before you remembered to respond. “Still, thanks a lot. I just feel bad because I asked us to meet here and then I was super late.”

“Well, in that case.” Wonwoo leaned back and folded his arms, his muscles flexing underneath the cardigan he had worn, easily showing how well built he was. Oh to have those arms wrapped around you- Not now Y/N! “You can let me treat you this time.”

“What? No way! I invited you over!” You complained, getting up to pick you both of your orders before he could. Wonwoo laughed at the way you darted towards the counter with your phone already in your hand, as though afraid that he might pay instead. The sound of his laughter was so endearing that you felt your cheeks heat up, glad that your back was facing him now.

His laughter. You loved hearing him laugh. You loved being able to make him laugh. And you wanted to be one of the reasons he smiled and laughed. 

“Here.” You said, placing his cake and drink in front of him before sitting back on your seat, sipping on your drink nervously as you mulled the question you’ve been dying to ask in your head.

“What's wrong?” Wonwoo asked and you said, “Nothing.” a bit too quickly. 

“Hmmm. What’s wrong? You know you can talk to me about anything right?” He said, reaching out for your hand once again. The look of concern on his face was enough to melt you into a puddle but for the sake of your dignity, you held on, pretending that him rubbing small circles on the back of your hand with his thumb was not doing things to you.

“Yeah. I know.” But how can I talk to you about you?

“It’s just that…” You began, trying to rephrase the question that was the main reason you had asked to see him. “I wanted to ask- I wanted to know if you- if you want to go out with-”

“Wonwoo?” A voice cut you off from behind and you turned to see who it was, eyes meeting with a girl of your age beaming at the two of you- no, at him, brightly. 

You blinked in surprise as you felt the small courage you had managed to build to ask him out break, turning back to look at Wonwoo as his smile widened as recognition dawned on his face.

“Sohye?” Wonwoo asked, standing up to greet her. You too stood up and that’s when she finally noticed you, smiling at you equally gracefully. As you beamed back at her, you felt something move lightly against your lips and with horror you realised you had some cream stuck on to it. 

“Hi.” Sohye greeted you sweetly, as you waved a hi at her, the napkins that you had hurriedly grabbed still in your hand. “I’m Sohye.”

“She’s my neighbour.” Wonwoo explained, still smiling sweetly at her.

Had he ever smiled at you like that?

You winced at your own thoughts when you realised how pathetic you sounded, letting the green eyed monster take control of your thoughts.

“And this is Y/N.” Wonwoo said, pointing at you.

“Ah, so you’re the Y/N?” She asked, eyes widening in amusement as she looked between you and Wonwoo. You laughed at her statement politely, unsure about what she was talking about. What was that supposed to mean? Maybe you shouldn’t have read too much into your friendship and assumed that he might like you in a more than a friend way. Maybe you-

Your eyes fell onto the tote bag she was carrying and you felt your stomach drop. 

Oh.

They were in the same technical club. So she wasn’t just his neighbour, then? This meant that they were really, really close friends. And you knew how hard it was to get into that club so she must have been really brilliant. 

So Sohye was Wonwoo’s pretty and smart neighbour, friend and now even possibly his love interest? Because the way he was looking at her with those soft, smiley eyes, there was no way he saw her as a friend only.

There was no way you stood a chance. 

What were you even thinking? There was no way you ever stood with someone like Wonwoo. Someone as sweet, as nice, as funny (in his own ways, though Seungkwan would disagree), as handsome, as beautiful, as caring and as kind as him. 

“He talks about you all the time.” She added, nudging his chest lightly and your ears perked up. What?

“Hey! You promised!” He gasped, crossing his arms over his chest in faux betrayal. 

Sohye rolled her eyes at him. “Promised what?”

“You know…” He began, before locking eyes with her. The two of them seemed to silently converse about something before she shrugged, patting him gently as though she understood what he was implying at.

Great, now you were feeling like a complete idiot. Apparently he talked about you but one could talk various things about someone all the time, including their bad qualities. So what was it that Wonwoo talked about you to Sohye all the time?

“Fine, fine. I’m sorry. I need to leave now but don’t forget about this Saturday’s party Wonwoo.” At this, he let out a groan and flopped onto his seat, earning a giggle from you because you had never seen him this fed up about something. You saw the corner of his lips quirk up as his eyes flicked to yours, causing your cheeks to flush up like they usually did whenever he looked at you like that. Then turning to you, she winked, before adding. “Oh, you’re invited too. Just that you need to have a date. So make sure you ask someone out, okay? Sometimes, men are just so dense that you need to be the one who…ah, takes the initiative for everything.”

You blinked at her, trying to process what she had just said. Did she mean Wonwoo. No way right? But then-

“She’s nice, isn’t she?” Wonwoo asked as he watched Sohye walk out of the door before turning to look back at you. She gave you a thumbs up and everything sunk in finally. “She’s really-”

“Do you want to go out with me?” You blurted out, with a sudden surge of confidence given by Sohye, and unable to contain the question anymore. Wonwoo froze, staring at you with his mouth open, not even blinking as though he was completely dumbfounded by your question.

Immediately you felt dread fill the pit of your stomach as you almost heard your heart shatter, an ugly, nauseating pain beginning to clutch your throat and chest. Wonwoo blinked at you, opened his mouth once and closed it, and you felt tears stinging at the corner of your eyes. 

It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay! Don’t just cry, okay? 

Your nails dug into your skin, leaving crescent moons on it as you gave him a weak smile, trying your very best not to burst into tears because of how dejected and hurt you felt right now. Why did you listen to Sohye, a complete stranger? 

“Ignore me.” You said, your voice coming out more choked than you had expected it to. You could actually feel yourself choking, the pain almost unbearable and you quickly reached forward to swallow down your drink in an attempt to calm yourself down. 

“Wait!” Wonwoo yelped, jerking forward to grab your hand so suddenly that you almost flinched back in surprise. You looked at him in bewilderment, and he stared back at you, as though equally surprised by his actions.

Both of your eyes flicked to your hands, and then back to each other, before Wonwoo looked away first, his cheeks completely flushed. “Careful.” He muttered, gently taking the mug out of your hand. “It’s hot. You’ll burn yourself if you drink it.”

“Oh.” Was all you could say. He still wasn’t meeting your eyes and you could feel the urge to cry slowly ebbing away. Taking a deep breath to calm yourself down, you said, “Uhm, I’m sorry. The question must have thrown you-”

“I would love to go out with you.”

This time, you froze, blinking at Wonwoo, who was finally looking at you, trying to process what he had just said.

“What?” You asked, and he flushed even more, looking away once again. But this time, he turned to face you almost immediately, a look of determination on his face. “Yeah. I’ll go out with you.”

You felt the tears sting your eyes once again but Wonwoo was faster this time. He practically jumped out of his seat and dragged his chair right next to yours, gently grasping both of your hands in his. 

“Don’t cry, Y/N. It really hurts me when you cry. Especially if it’s because of me.” He whispered softly, causing you to break down more instead.

“I’m not- I’m actually- Oh my god.” Was all you could say before he pulled you into a hug, his strong arms wrapping around your waist as you almost melted into his touch. You buried your face into the crook of his neck and tried to control your sniffling, clutching his sweater with both of your hands as though he might disappear if you let go.

“I won’t let you go.” He whispered, gently rubbing circles on your back. “I promise.” 

14.03.3019

“I really like autumn, you know.” Wonwoo muttered and you looked up, feeling your breath being taken away for the millionth time that day. The cold wind blowing had ruffled his hair slightly but he looked really cute as he stared at the orange foliage overhead, with a small smile on his face. 

“Is that so?” You asked, and he turned back to look at you, giving you a small nod. Smirking at him, you asked again, “Why? Is it because it’s cold and you can have an excuse to stay inside and play games the whole day?”

His eyes crinkled at the corners as his smile widened, chuckling lightly at your joke. “Maybe?” 

You rolled your eyes at him before giving him a light push. “You could have answered it with something more productive like finishing your assignments, you know.”

“Yeah, or like texting you.”

The statement caught you so off guard that you nearly tripped on your own feet, and to make the situation worse, Wonwoo grabbed your arm to stop you from stumbling. 

“Hey, be careful.” He said, slight concern lacing his voice. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” You muttered, unable to meet his eyes as you cursed yourself for being clumsy enough to trip on your own feet. You could feel your cheeks burning from his gaze and you wondered for a second why you were still so awkward and shy around him, despite being friends with him for almost three months.

If you could call your relationship with him as friends, that is.

You had hoped that your crush on him would go away after hanging out with him for a while (he had to have a flaw in him, right?) but if anything it grew more and more with passing time. Wonwoo made it worse by his completely sweet demeanour and mannerism towards you, reducing you to shambles each and every time. No matter how much you tried to compress the fluttering of your heart or the flushing of your cheeks, Wonwoo had to ruin everything by doing something that completely floored you always.

And that was the worst part of it. You had never thought you would like someone as quiet as him, always having liked outgoing guys with good humour. But there was something about Wonwoo’s introvertedness that was really comforting to you. It wasn’t like he always sat silent when next to you, it was just that he knew exactly what to say and when. He was a great listener and always listened to you with such rapt attention that sometimes it even surprised you.

It made you feel…important. Wanted. Loved.

Though most of the time it was you who had to initiate the conversation, you didn’t mind because Wonwoo would always continue with it, never leaving you hanging or ignoring it. 

“Hey.” You heard Wonwoo call you softly, and you finally looked up at him. He took a step close so that your shoulders were brushing, feeling his body warmth seep into you through your touching arms. You felt an urge to throw yourself into his arms but you pushed that thought to the back of your mind. “Are you actually okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” 

“Don’t say that.” Wonwoo was frowning at you, and you panicked, wondering if you had said the wrong thing. “How can I not worry about you? You’re so clumsy. Seriously, what would you do without me?”

Gulping slowly to calm down your racing heart, you felt your cheeks automatically pull into a smile. “Fall onto my face and embarrass myself?”

Wonwoo snorted at your sentence, wrapping an arm around your waist as he began walking again. “Not a chance under my watch. You aren’t Mingyu.”

“Poor Gyu.” You whispered, looking down so he wouldn’t see how much your eyes were gleaming. 

“Poor me, you mean. I’ve given up trying to save his ass every time he trips.”

You laughed as he went on complaining about his best friend, and all the embarrassment that you had been feeling from before was gone as you relaxed into his touch. You loved being with Wonwoo. You really loved spending time with him. Even though there were still traces of awkwardness between the two of you (from your side more than his), you hoped that one day all of that would be gone and he would see you the same way you looked at him.

And then one day, you would finally ask him out. One day. 

05.12.2018

The second time you met Wonwoo, or rather were with Wonwoo, was during a break period, when all your classmates had left the classroom for various purposes but you had decided to stay back and study. 

At first, you didn’t realise he was there too because you thought everyone had left. When you turned back to pull out a notebook from your bag, both of your eyes met from across the classroom and you found yourself immediately turning away, wincing a second later at your action.

Slowly, you turned back and to your relief, he was still looking at you. Trying to not look as flustered as you felt, you gave him a small wave, the quiet whisper of a ‘hi’ almost dying in your throat. 

Wonwoo smiled back at you and waved back, before getting up and walking towards your table.

Oh no. Oh no. Act normal. Act normal.

“Hey.” He said, his deep voice causing your stomach to drop a little. “Uh, did you do the maths homework? The one he gave in the last class?”

“Uhm, maths? You mean, uh, this one?” You asked, pointing at the half done sum in front of you. Crap, what if he wants my help? Why didn’t I do this before at home? Why didn't I think of studying this part beforehand?

“Oh, even you didn’t get it?” He asked, sitting himself down beside you. You could get a hint of his cologne and you swallowed hard, hoping your cheeks weren’t as flushed as you thought it was. “Do you want to solve it together? I think we can get it if we try together.”

“Yeah sure!” You said, a bit too enthusiastically. “I mean, yeah, of course. Let’s do it together.”

The two of you then began to work on the problem, but to your disappointment, you both barely talked. You were able to solve the problem on your own within the second try, and so was Wonwoo because so far the only other thing he had said was “You got it? So did I.”

The classroom once again lapped into silence and you could feel your nerves becoming jittery, because you wanted to say something to him, wanted to strike a conversation with him but you just couldn’t. What if what you said sounded so dumb that he decided not to talk to you ever again? 

Also Wonwoo looked like he had no problem with the quiet atmosphere, though you were feeling more and more awkward with each passing second, once again hyper aware of your actions as you sat next to him.

“So, uh,” You began after clearing your throat, so that you wouldn’t startle him. “Do you have any hobbies?” 

Wonwoo looked up at you from his notebook, blinking at you as though trying to process your question a bit. How does one look this cute just by blinking?

“Yeah, I like gaming.” He said, smiling at you. If he kept smiling at you like that any longer, you were sure you would have difficulty meeting his eyes next. 

“Gaming? That’s cool.” You said with a bigger smile. Internally though, you were screaming. You had next to no idea about gaming, what games were played on laptops or even the types of games out there. So you said the most intelligent (and probably the stupidest) thing you could come up with. “I play mobile games. Sometimes.”

At this, Wonwoo chuckled, a deep sound that was enough to cause your heart to flutter. “Mobile games? That’s cute.”

“Uh, thank you.” You muttered, averting your eyes back to your notebook. “What- What about you? What games do you play?”

“I play a lot of games to be honest. I’ve played Visage, Genshin Impact, League of Legends…yeah I’ve played a lot to be honest.” He said, going back to solving his problems too. 

“Oh, I see…” You said, not even sure what these games were about but you still pretended that you had at least some idea about what he was saying. 

Once again the two of you relapsed into silence, and you were finding it difficult to begin any conversation. It wasn’t that Wonwoo was making things difficult. You had noticed that he was a fairly quiet guy so you supposed he had no problem with this and was in fact comfortable with the silence between the two of you.

Letting out a sigh, you reached out for your water bottle, wanting to calm yourself down from the way Wonwoo was making you feel. 

You must have inhaled while you were drinking because all of a sudden you felt water hit your windpipe, blocking your air passage immediately. You made a choking sound as you spluttered, trying to cough out the water from your windpipe. 

“Y/N!” You heard Wonwoo call your name but it sounded so far away. Your mind was in a state of frenzy as you realised that you couldn’t breathe, you just couldn’t breathe and the water wasn’t coming out-

“Cough it out.” You felt an arm wrap around your front as Wonwoo thumped your back hard, making you cough harder. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Just cough it out.”

You coughed once more and took in a shuddering breath, causing you to cough again as your senses finally returned to you slowly. You were shivering, and your chest hurt as small coughs kept bubbling up in an attempt to regain your normal breath. 

“It’s okay. Just breathe slowly. I’ve got you. Breath, okay?” Wonwoo muttered, rubbing soft circles on your back. Still shivering in his arms, you looked up to see his face. His face was just inches apart and even through your teary eyes, you could see how handsome he was.

Then, you realised with horror how pathetic you must be looking. Your eyes were brimming with tears and you could feel the saliva all over your chin. And to make matters worse, you could feel that your nose had begun to run too. 

“Uh,” you started, slowly pushing yourself away from Wonwoo’s grasp as you hastily searched for a tissue or napkin. 

“Wait here.” Wonwoo said, before running back to his bench and then coming back to you, offering you some tissues he had got. “Here.”

“Thank you.” You muttered, feeling embarrassed as you slowly wiped away the spit on your face. “Thank you for…helping me.”

“Are you feeling okay?” Wonwoo asked, walking over to stand in front of you. You looked down at your lap and nodded, unable to look at him anymore. Of all the times you had to choke on your drink, it had to be in front of him.

“Hey, look at me.” You heard him whisper. You looked up just as he leaned down so that he was at your level now. You felt your breath catch in your throat as he looked at you, an expression of concern on his face. 

“Are you actually feeling okay? Because you are still shivering.” Looking down, you saw your hands clenching the tissue tightly. True to his words, you were still shivering and you took in a deep breath in an attempt to calm yourself down.

“I’m okay. I’ll be okay. I just- I was just caught off guard that’s all.” 

Wonwoo glanced at the clock on the classroom wall before reaching down and picking up your bag. You looked up at him in surprise as he walked over to get his bag, and then stood in front of the class door. 

“What are you- Where are you going?” You asked, standing up. 

Wonwoo looked at you in surprise. “Don’t you want to have lunch? It’s lunch time.”

“Yeah…but my bag? You don’t have to-”

“I don’t.” He said, smiling at you. “I want to.”

You felt your heart explode as you fought back the urge to smile, almost jumping from your bench to catch up with him. Maybe, maybe accidentally choking on your drink wasn’t a bad thing after all.

01.10.2018

“Are we still in the same seminar hall?” You asked, peeping into your friend’s (if she could be called that considering the fact you met her only an hour ago) phone as she searched the timetable up. 

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess. I think we should just walk in and see to be honest. If not, we can ask around.” Yubin said, closing her phone and slipping it into her jeans pocket, before taking a deep breath and pushing open the seminar hall doors. 

The hall was almost crowded and you were glad that you were behind Yubin, so all you had to do was follow her as she tried finding two empty seats. 

Finally, you both sat down on the three empty seats at the end of the third row, glad that you got decent enough seats, if not good, because of how late you both were (it had to be your unfortunate luck that the seminar hall was at one end of the campus and the canteen was at another end). Removing your bag, you lifted it to place it on the empty seat next to you because you were sure no one would take a single empty seat when you heard someone ask, “Is this seat taken?”

You looked up to see who it was and immediately felt the air almost knock out of your lungs. Your cheeks heated up as you blinked at the student standing in front of you, all coherent words thrown out of your head because he was just so, so handsome. 

He looked so good with his square framed glasses, unbuttoned chequered shirt over a casual t-shirt and dark blue jeans. In fact, he looked like any other of the countless averagely dressed college students you had seen on campus so far and yet, he looked so attractive that you were having a hard time formulating a simple sentence. 

“Uh,” You began, staring at him as you tried to rack your brains for an appropriate response. What was the question?

“Nope!” Yubin said, reaching out to grab your bag and place it on your lap. “No one’s sitting here so you can sit if you want to!”

He gave you (the two of you actually but you hoped it was just you) a small smile before sitting down and you slowly turned towards your now grinning friend, frowning slightly as you just tried to process what had just happened.

He was sitting next to you. He was sitting next to you. The guy, who caught your eyes within a few milliseconds of your encounter was actually sitting next to you. 

‘You think he is cute?’ Yubin mouthed to you, to which you could only exhale and look back at the presentation that was about to start in front of you, unable to think clearly still. 

Cute was an understatement for the guy next to you. He was handsome. Ethereal. Beautiful. Someone who made your heart stutter just by looking at them and made you hyper aware of your each and every action, just like now as you carefully slid out your notebook from your bag.

Your cheeks felt like they were still on fire, and you tried to act nonchalant as you cleared your throat and flipped through the pages, trying to find an empty page when your pen fell from your hand.

Brilliant.

Just brilliant. You mentally cursed yourself as you bit your lips. bending down to pick it up but he was much faster than you, the pen already in his hand as he offered it to you. 

“Uh, thank you.” You mumbled, trying to give him a small smile but of course your flushed cheeks had to act up at this moment itself and you were pretty sure you ended up giving him a lopsided one instead.

He just nodded back at you, before turning his attention back to the presentation and so did you, but it was like you could still feel his gaze on you. 

The rest of the session passed in a blur, as you tried your level best to concentrate on what was being explained but it was just so hard doing that when each second seemed to drag on for hours and you were painfully aware of what he was doing and how embarrassing you were acting. 

Finally, after what felt like years, the students started getting up and leaving the auditorium. Your mind was in a whirlwind as he too started packing up his things. Now’s the time, Y/N. It’s now or never. Just ask him-

“I didn’t catch your name!” You squeaked just as he got up, causing him to pause and look at you confused. You immediately cringed at your voice, sinking into your seat a little before clearing your throat and repeating your sentence. “Your name? I didn’t catch it.”

“Oh.” He said, his face softening a little as he pushed his specs back up his nose. Okay, now that was hot. “It’s Wonwoo. Jeon Wonwoo. And you are?”

“Wonwoo…” You muttered, the name rolling off your tongue before you realised he had asked yours. “Oh! Uh, I’m Y/N. L/N Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you Y/N. I hope we can be friends.” Wonwoo smiled at you, almost causing you to forget your second question. 

“Yeah! Yeah, of course! Also, uh, can I have your number? Because, you know, uh-” You stuttered but luckily Wonwoo cut you off.

“Sure.” He said, extending out his hand. As quickly as you could (without dropping anything or appearing clumsy) you handed him your phone and he took it, typing out his number. Oh wow, he has really pretty hands. 

“Here.” He said, handing it over to you. “Give me a missed call okay? So that I can save your number too.”

“Yeah…yeah I will.” You said, giving him another smile. He gave you a small goodbye before walking away, and you continued staring at him until he split out of the door. Even then you were just standing, frozen at your place as you tried processing what had just happened, until Yubin gave you a nudge. 

“Are we going to go for lunch or are you gonna keep dreaming about lover boy?” She joked, causing you to snap out of your reverie. 

“What? He’s not- It’s nothing like that. He’s just cute.” You said defensively, picking up your bag as you followed her out. 

“He’s just cute.” Yubin said, mimicking you and you hissed at her. “Shut up! Someone might hear you!”

“Yeah, and you were definitely not drooling over him.”

“I was not drooling over him!” You gasped.

“Okay sure. Just the next time you both sit together, I’ll make sure I’m not next to you. Actually I’ll make sure no one is next to you both so that you can have your alone time together.”

“Yeah,” You muttered, as you saw Wonwoo walk in front of the two of you, laughing and talking with two other boys. You felt your heart give an odd squeeze when he turned back and your eyes met, smiling at you warmly. “I wonder if it will ever be just us, again.” 

A/N: Please do tell me what you think about this story!! I worked really hard on it and I would love to know everyone’s thoughts on it~ Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

© 𝐆𝐘𝐔-𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

[solarhysm]

DUST OF US - 01

> synopsis: 7 years ago Y/N broke Jungkook’s heart when she decided to end their relationship without an explanation. When they meet again at a friend's wedding, after almost a decade, Jungkook needs answers to move on.

> pairing: Jungkook x reader

> genre: romance, ex to lovers au

> warnings: explicit languages, violence, smut, cheating, nsfw, angst, +18 minors dni !!

> word count: 2.6k

*french writer, i apologize in advance for my awful english!

AGE: 27 years old

“Where are you going?” Baekhyun asks, stretching as you get out of bed and grab all of your clothes. It was late but you hate sleeping in another bed than yours.

“I should go home.” You simply say, pulling on your panties and jeans as the younger man whines, flipping on his back.

“Oh, come on, Y/N, stay the night.” He suggests as you shake your head with an apologetic smile while putting your bra on.

“Hyesun is getting married, tomorrow. I need to get up early,” You explain, but it was an excuse. You don’t want to be more than intimate enough with anyone.

Once fully clothed, you grab your keys and turn to look at the man still laying completely naked in bed. “I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Aight, boss,” He teases making you roll your eyes. “One last kiss?”

“Bye,” You smile closing the door of his room, hearing him laugh before making your way out of his apartment.

Once in your car, you sigh, leaning on your seat as you stare at the ceiling. Eleven pm already, and tomorrow’s list kept growing in your mind.

Your way home was silent, you didn’t even put music on, mentally listing all the tasks to do tomorrow morning. Drive Hyesun to the hairstylist, make sure that the flowers are delivered, get her dress, and a lot more.

The house should already be decorated by now. Hyesun was getting married at her in-law’s house. They have a big yard and suggested to make the reception in there. Since you couldn’t be here to help today, you ended up with the stressful tasks tomorrow. Her friends aren’t yours.

Yes, you still have a small circle of friends in common, but Hyesun was a sunshine and most of all: an extrovert. She met her husband by boldly asking his number at a coffee shop where he was working, five years ago. Something you could never. That’s probably why you’re still single and she’s getting married.

Kicking your shoes off at your front door, you’re greeted by your cat. He was a little terror. Or a demon like Namjoon loves to call him. And you can’t blame your friend. Not only was Trash a black cat with only one ear, the other got cut off. You don’t know how.

He was already like that when you adopted him. He was skinny and really ugly when you first got him. Well... he’s still ugly, but now he’s well-fed, maybe too much, you chuckle as you kneel to scratch the top of his head. But he was also a tiny demon who attacked everyone who dared to visit you.

“Did you miss me?” You coo as the black cat let out a meow husky enough to let you think that he smokes too many cigarettes. He’s not a loud cat, he occasionally meows when he’s hungry or when you come home after a long day.

As you make your way to the kitchen, the fat cat follows you. Opening the fridge, you take out a bottle of water and gives him a treat. Your eyes fall on the dress you’ll wear tomorrow, hanged at the bedroom door.

The wedding theme was midnight sky. So, obviously, your dress is navy blue and long enough to end at your ankles with a slit on the right side. You didn’t choose it, Hyesun did.

Palming your face, you take a sip of your water and walk to your bedroom. You need a shower. You could still smell Baekhyun’s cheap cologne on your skin. And you hate it. Too used to your own scent. Not of any men anymore.

The wedding was beautiful, but you didn’t expect less from your best friend. And she was gorgeous in her wedding dress. She smiles a lot, but you never see her smile that way. And all you could think was that her jaw muscles probably hurt after four hours.

“No, what I want, is a whole butterfly starting from my shoulders to my ribs,” Your friend, Hwan explains to you as she flips to show her bare back. You can’t help but scoff, taking a sip of your wine.

“Why? You want to become a fairy or something?” You ask arching a brow as she turns to face you, frowning.

“Don’t make fun of me,” Hwan pouts, folding her arms under her chest, “I saw it on Pinterest, I totally fell in love with it.”

“A tattoo is for life, you know?” You sigh, finishing your glass before tilting your head to brush your fingers on her back, right where her ribs are. “And this part is sensitive. It’ll hurt like hell.”

Hwan shivers at your touch, and you chuckle. You know her. She wants a tattoo today, a piercing tomorrow and in two weeks she’ll regret both. The red head -a dye she did without a second thought- rolls her eyes.

“And you think I can’t handle the pain?” She asks with an attitude, a tone that makes you pinch her forearm as she squirms and step back. “Are you crazy?”

“You can’t handle the pain, Hwan.” You conclude while she rubs the part that start to turn red.

“You’re the worst tattoo artist I know. I’ll give you a bad review on Google.” She groans as you smirk and stick your tongue’s out at her, making her smile amused by you.

Your eyes scan the room full of guests you don’t know before a huge smile spread on your lips as you notice the man all alone. He was sipping his glass of whisky as he looks at his phone, feigning to be interested but he’s probably scrolling emptily. You know him. He hates when people try to connect with him.

Excusing yourself from Hwan and the other girls, you make your way to your friend, too busy on his phone to see you coming.

“Yoongs,” You call him once you’re a few steps closer to him, he lifts his cat eyes from his screen before offering you a slight smirk and opening his arms as you nestle against his chest. You’re not really touchy, but with Yoongi, it was different.

“Nice dress.” He simply says, his nose in your hair before you pull back to look at him. He looks nice too. His hair is longer, but it suits him.

“You didn’t cut your hair?” You ask as he sighs, rolling a strand between his finger as you keep an arm around his waist.

“Didn’t have the time for it.”, He mumbles taking another sip of his whisky. “I didn’t know you would be here. Since you own a tattoo shop, we don’t see you often anymore.”

“It’s my best friend’s wedding, I couldn’t miss it. She would have dragged my ass back here.” you chuckle making him smile and nod.

“That sounds like Hyesun,” He jokes as you smile.

Yoongi wasn’t that tall, but he was still everyone’s type. Calm, mysterious, and good looking. If only dating was on his plans. That guy will probably stay single his whole life, too focused on his work.

“I was looking for you everywhere!” Hyesun groans grabbing your arm.

“I was here,” You simply reply, raising your shoulders, making Yoongi looks at you both amused. You probably get along because you’re both sarcastic. At least you know that’s something he likes about you.

“Thanks Sherlock, Mystery solved!” She rolls her eyes, before pulling you away from your friend, “Come on, follow me, I want to take pictures with you.”

She quickly waves at Yoongi, blowing a kiss at him as he didn’t move before pushing you away.

“He’s like a good old wine. Every time I see him, he’s getting hotter.” She smirks as you make your way to the photographer.

“Aren’t you married?” You joke making her roll her eyes.

“Married, not blind. As long as I touch with my eyes,” She adds as you shake your head, laughing, joining the girls.

Yoongi leaves his empty glass on the table next to him, an amused smirk on his face. If you stayed longer, he would have been part of an interesting reunion.

“Shit, I almost peed myself. There is a whole queue at the male bathroom,” The younger man groans, coming back next to Yoongi as he takes back his beer. “Hyung?”

The older man turns to his friend and arches a brow to show that he’s listening.

“Hyesun told me that there was a private bathroom upstairs for the closest friends” Yoongi simply mumbles, making Jungkook groans as he ties his hair into a bun.

“And you tell me only now?” the tattooed man sighs as he pulls up his sleeves, the temperature of the room getting hotter. Or maybe it’s him from running here and there.

“You left without a word,” Yoongi shrugs like it was obvious, his eyes still on the group of girls making funny faces at the camera. Jungkook lets out a chuckle.

“Which one?” He asks his friend who simply arches a brow. “I’m sure it’s the red head. You always had a think for girls with weird hair colors.”

Yoongi didn’t say anything. He’s used to the teasing. It’s a loss of energy, Jungkook was competitive and if you say that the sky was blue, he would tell otherwise until you tell him he's right.

Jungkook smiles proudly, turning his attention to the bunch of girls. Hyesun had pretty friends, but he’s not surprised. Until he recognized a face. A face he knows too well, a face he loved deeply once upon a time.

You didn’t change. Well… Your hair is shorter. You never liked your hair short, not after your mother spent your childhood cutting it into a bob.

The bangs too. You hated them. But today, you wore it gracefully. His doe eyes trail the length of it, how it brushes your shoulders when you laugh, how you have to push your bang asides.

He never hated you. Even after you broke his heart. Even after coming home to an empty apartment because you disappeared, or when you blocked his number and changed yours. He never hated you.

“You said she wasn’t here.” He frowns, turning to Yoongi who simply arches a brow.

“She wasn’t supposed to.” Yoongi replies, taking a sip of his new glass.

“I shouldn’t have come.” Jungkook sighs, his brows still in a frown creating a slight wrinkle between them.

“Kookie,” Yoongi turns his gaze to his friend who’s clearly uncomfortable. “You’re back in town. You both have the same friends group. What did you expect? You’ll have to confront her one day or another.”

“Y/N,” Hwan calls you as you were taking another glass of wine, facing her with a small hm? “The guy you talked earlier,”

“Yoongi?”

“Yeah, something like that. Do you know his friend?” She asks as you follow her gaze to the large man next to Yoongi, his back facing you. You liked the tattoos, and the muscular frame. The long hair was clearly a bonus.

“No,” You reply, your eyes trailing on Yoongi’s friend. You’ll definitely ask Yoongi who that is later.

“He’s hot,” Hwan comments as you nod, taking a sip of your wine before spitting everything out. You cough when the mysterious man turns around, laughing with your friend.

And almost immediately, you hide behind the table that separates you. Was this a joke?

“What’s wrong? One of your one-night stands?” Hwan chuckles clearly amused to see you, on your knees, trying to hide under the table. If only you could be sucked up by the floor. It was stupid. It was an old story. It’s been seven years since you dumped him like an old, forgotten sock.

“It’s my ex,” You almost whisper, making Hwan wide her eyes and hide with you like she even met him before.

You never thought that you’ll see him again. He disappeared for Japan right after your breakup for his studies. And you didn’t think about him since then. Well, it’s a lie.

You thought about him the three first years after your split. But, he was just some old memories from the shoebox under your bed. 

Some love letters written by a teenage boy, an empty bottle of perfume and a shirt of his that you didn’t have the heart to throw. But that’s all he was. A shoebox of memories.

“Oh damn,” Hwan murmurs, “How did you get that hot piece of man?” She asks as you roll your eyes.

He wasn’t that hot when you started dating him. He had a chestnut haircut, was too skinny even if he was the sporty type, and huge doe eyes. Now he’s…. a man.

“I think… I need to get out”, You swallow, get up and finish your glass. Walking to the backyard, you catch a bottle on your way.

Thankfully, Hwan didn’t follow you. A few persons were outside, some of them making out, the others too drunk, and probably getting some fresh air like you.

Did Hyesun invite him? Why did he come? He knows that she’s your friend. That you’d be here. Palming your face, you lean back against the wall, taking a sip of your bottle of champagne. Fuck… This is childish. You’re twenty-seven, for God’s sake. Act like an adult.

“Hiding?” You heard on your right, making you almost jump.

And here he was, a few meters away, a bottle of beer in hand. His eyes changed. He grew up.

“Good evening, Jungkook,” You breathe as he offers you a slight smile, his lips mostly forming a line.

“Good evening, Y/N,” He replies, making a few steps closer, “Long time no see.”

“Yeah...”

A silence falls between you before he takes a breath like he wants to calm his nerves too. Were you two nervous around each other?

“How… have you been?” He asks with a soft voice.

“Good. You?”

“Good.”

“Nice.”

You wanted to punch yourself. That conversation was stupid. Back then, you two could debate about everything for hours. Now, you can’t even have a basic conversation.

“I… Didn’t know you were back.” You say, looking at the grass at your feet.

“Yeah… I- I missed Korea.” He raises his shoulders slightly before taking a sip of his beer.

“Oh…Okay.” You scrunch your nose and take a sip of your bottle to not look too much stupid but his lips crease in an amused smile at the bottle in your hand. Neither of you says anything. And it’s weird. “That’s… some cool tattoos,” You add, trying to make the conversation as you point his entire inked sleeve with your chin.

“Yeah?” He chuckles awkwardly. “I always wanted tattoos.”

“I know.” You reply, almost immediately, making him lift his gaze to you as your eyes widen. “You- hm- You thought that Yakuza were cool.” you continue as he nods, his eyes still on you while you look away.

“You remembered.”

You clench your jaw slightly and take another sip of champagne. You hate champagne, but you didn’t read what was written on the bottle when you took it.

“Your father must be proud of you. I heard you had your own tattoo shop.” He says as your gaze soften. Jungkook and your dad were always close, he even called him ‘son’. Your father was in fact, proud of you.

“He is”, was all you could reply, and he nods silently before taking a deep breath.

“Can I… ask you a question? I need to understand something” He frowns a little, turning his head to look at the backyard before finally glancing back at you. He is waiting for you to answer and you simply stare at him. “Why did you leave me, Y/N?”

< previous - MASTERLIST - next >

WATTPAD.

buy me a coffee<3 (every chapters/drabbles are posted as soon as i'm done writing them.)

[haologram]

unforgiven 🏹 b.sk (m)

🏹 synopsis: Seungkwan may have been represented by his considerably heartwarming traits, but he ruined his own fate with his vengeful and prideful behavior. Despite his flawed outlook, he can still see you in every lover — until it's you, again.

🏹 genre: greek god au ; second chance romance au ; angst, fluff, smut ; sort of former enemies/rivals to lovers.

🏹 pairing: athena!boo seungkwan x reincarnated arachne!fem!reader | side pairing: eros!mingyu x psyche!tzuyu (twice) | side characters: zeus!seungcheol ; hades!jeonghan ; hephaestus!wonwoo ; hermes!vernon ; eris!saerom (fromis_9)

🏹 word count: 40.8k (and what about it?)

🏹 rating: 18+. minors please do not interact.

🏹 warnings: human x god dynamics. swearing, alcohol. mentions of infidelity, mentions of envy-fueled death, lowkey murder. seungkwan is a perfectionist, reincarnated reader is good at everything. seungkwan can be very hot and cold, reader is way too flirty and toes the line entirely too much. smut warnings: virgin!seungkwan...surprise! multiple scenes (3 shitty ones!), oral (m. & f. rec), fingering (f. rec), unprotected sex (in this economy?!), so much heavy petting (and casual intimacy), frottage, some begging, a bit of dirty talk, lots of pet names (baby, angel, threadling, brat,etc.), dacryphilia and breeding kink if you squint (and i mean really, really squint), praise kink, biting, nipple play, riding, body worship (including the feet...mostly f.rec), a little bit of humiliation.

🏹 what to listen to: run away - tzuyu ; highway to hell - ac/dc ; back to me - the rose ; cinnamon girl - lana del rey ; she's my religion - pale waves ; i'm your baby tonight - whitney houston ; take me back to eden - sleep token ; faithfully - journey ; ruby - woozi ; cry for love - baekhyun ; spell - seventeen ; sailor song - gigi perez ; tattoos - reneé rapp.

🏹 author's note: thank you to everyone who encouraged me to write this, and this is for the greek god collab hosted by maren and aeris (link here!) for betas and support: @cheolism, @seokgyuu, and @diamonddaze01! thank you to everyone who forced me to get a fucking grip and just WRITE this. after two months of agonizing over it, writing and rewriting scenes (mostly the smut) and crying over boo seungkwan, it's finally here. seungkwan, my beloved little goblin...the brainrot has been far too real and i hope you get all the love in the world, and that this does you justice for the lack of seungkwan fics on this godforsaken app. xoxo. (star divider by @/enchanthings here on tumblr. link here.)

ONE.

It seemed you and Jeonghan were good friends by the way you speak to each other.

"Back so soon?" He calls, unsurprised. You huff, dusting your knees of rubble before looking up to him sitting cross-legged on his throne, flipping through a newspaper and tapping his pen on his chin. "Tsk, tsk."

"I'm just saying, Seungcheol shouldn't make me the best if he doesn't want me to show it off." You scoff, grimacing at the streaks of ash on your legs.

Jeonghan snorts, "Pride is a sin." Shrugging, you slump over the table before him, ignoring the pain in your diaphragm from the very obvious arrow sticking out of it. He gives you a quirk of his brow, folding the newspaper and folding his hands over his lap. He gives you a pointed look, making you groan. "Hannie, we've been through this so many times. Can't you just send me back?" "You know I can't." He smiles, and you throw a piece of gravel at him. Cerberus growls at you, and you stick your tongue out at the three-headed beast. Jeonghan rolls his eyes, pushing off his seat and tucking his hands into his pockets. "Say you're sorry." "But we know I'd be lying." You try and weasel your way out of begging the god for mercy, but he just gives you a wider grin in response.

"Oh, but you're so pretty when you beg." "You're a fucking freak." You mutter, and he just shrugs.

"You can beg or you can rot. I shouldn't even be giving you a choice, but I just like you so much, darling." He teases, flicking at your forehead. You frown, shoving his hand away before lowering to your knees.

"Come on! I promise I won't be a douche anymore." You exclaim, and Jeonghan just laughs.

"You said that the first time we had to do this. And tell me, Y/N, were you a douche again?" "Saerom deserved it!" You hiss, pointing a menacing finger at the god.

He smirks, a thoughtful look glazing his eyes. "Maybe I should just keep you here. You'd be a nice little pet, I think." He looks around, before you shudder.

"Hell no, you'd probably make me clean the floor with my tongue." You grimace, but sigh in defeat. You feel your cheeks burn in subtle humiliation as you adjust your knees on the gravelly terrain, touching your forehead to the hot pebbles and extending your arms out flat.

You hear Jeonghan clear his throat. "Recite the oath I wrote for you." Groaning inwardly, you feel his boot toe your rib. You scowl up at him, but the glowing maroon of his eyes tell you to get on with it. While this little odd game of Jeonghan's fruitless flirting was entertaining, his process definitely took a lot out of the two of you.

Often why Wonwoo reminds you that you should be grateful Jeonghan keeps letting you get away with it, fighting with Seungcheol constantly over you.

"I apologize." You start, and Jeonghan hums.

"What are you apologizing for?" "I apologize for allowing my pride to overcome my senses and cloud my judgment, allowing me to perform in ways I wouldn't otherwise. I see that my ego has grown further than I can control, and I ask that you allow me to prove that I can be better by returning me to the Overworld and allowing me to perform differently. If I am sent back due to my behavior, I will honor the wishes of those who sent me, and perform under your watchful eye." You're sure Jeonghan can practically hear your eyes rolling, but he sighs nonetheless. "Alright, you goblin. Get up, you're forgiven." You do so excitedly, wiping away any gravel stuck to your skin. Jeonghan smiles at you, a tilt to his head before he speaks in a serious tone, his fingers carefully wrapping around the fletching of the arrow. "This is the last time, Y/N."

You quirk a brow at him as he yanks the arrow out, rolling your eyes. You couldn't really feel anything when you were down here with him, much less did you care about the blood dripping down your front. "Right, same time next week?" He shakes his head, and you feel your brow furrow. "I talked to Seungcheol. We agreed that your presence in the Overworld, while entertaining, is fruitless. You're great at what you do, and the reason Seungcheol allows it is because he's hoping you'll eventually use it for the greater good. In your first life, you decided to challenge Seungkwan of all people. Seungkwan, Y/N." "Listen, just because he–"

"No, Y/N. This is the last time. If you're sent back, you're staying here for good." Jeonghan says sternly, and you think you see a glint of disappointment in his eyes. "You're too smart to keep doing this, stop letting your ego get in the way. You're a mortal, and you will always be a mortal." He turns away from you, and you hear the heavy gates of the Underworld open. Cerberus presents himself next to you, ready to guide you back out. You watch as Jeonghan carefully takes his seat again, and you purse your lips. Your hand rests on the open wound in your torso, feeling a bit of resentment fester in your lower belly.

"How are you sending me back this time?" "I think your original form would be good, no? I know you like the crazy hair colors but we should stick to the blueprint. Maybe then you'll behave." He says, shaking his newspaper off and opening it to the crossword. "Seungkwan regrets hurting you, you know." "Yeah, right." You scoff, feeling a pang in your chest as you recall your first time landing in the Underworld. Jeonghan had nearly sprung out of his seat, his long black hair pinned back by deep purple Gladiolus flowers. You were covered in spider's thread, wrapped tightly in the web and littered with leaves and twigs.

You'd challenged Seungkwan to a weaving contest. Your father had been highly praised amongst mortals for his talent in textiles, leading you to follow his legacy – your weaving had garnered the attention of anyone within a hundred-mile radius. This lead to your chest swelling with pride at the compliments you received, and the business you were able to bring your father. But, like Icarus, you'd flown a bit too close to the Sun. You started boasting that not even the wisest and craftiest of gods could rival your talent – even going as far as saying that Seungkwan, the god of wisdom and craft, would fail at creating something even worth his weight in silk.

Once word reached him in Olympus, he agreed to face you. He presented himself in Lydia, quickly guided to the home you shared with your father by looking for your tapestries. The owl on his shoulder blinked at you, a soft chirp from its beak as you carefully lugged out a loom to your backyard, unaware of his presence.

Seungkwan had watched you carefully from his spot behind a few bushes, something Jeonghan had later told you as he unwrapped you from the web you were bound by. You soaked up the sun in your long dress, before carefully stretching your fingers and threading the yarn through the loom. You seemed at ease with the loom, comfortably and confidently weaving the yarn through your nimble fingers.

What Jeonghan didn't tell you? Seungkwan – though turned off by your ego –  was enthralled by you, his attraction only heightened by your beauty. He would've never assumed that you would blatantly boast god-like talent without an ounce of respect. It seemed now that he was wrong, as he watched the way your pride practically seeped out of your fingers as they did what you knew best. He couldn't help but feel a bit of jealousy tangle in his stomach.

Seungkwan waited three nights to return to your home, taking shelter in the forest around your town. He returned peacefully, with a clear mind as he knocked on your door. He heard soft laughter and a gentle reassurance to your aging father as you gracefully opened the door. Your eyes were hidden behind your plump cheeks, full lips spread into a smile as you greeted him.

"Hello." He didn't respond nor introduced himself, only scanning you quietly. His eyes lingered on your lips, before noting your bandaged fingers folded neatly in front of your apricot-colored skirt.

"Can I help you, sir? Are you here on business?" You'd had no idea who was in your presence. Your warm smile almost made him forget who he was.

"You're Y/N, right?"

"That's me, sir. What can I help you with? Oh, we just got a shipment of beautiful violet yarn. It's dyed–"

"I'm Seungkwan. You said you could out-weave anyone."

Your expression changed at that, your smile turning into a smirk as you looked down at your bandaged fingers.

"A god is threatened by me?" Your voice had been teasing, but it only managed to irritate him.

"On the contrary, I quite enjoy your little act. What am I, if not a just and fair opponent?" With that, your gaze hardened slightly, and you extended your hand. He shook it carefully, watching as you walked to the center of your village, your fingers reaching for the cornucopia carefully held by a stone carving of Dionysus. You brought it to your lips, blowing what seemed to be a memorized tune.

Children flooded out of homes, followed by their parents and even some domesticated animals trailed around. Everyone smiled at your presence in the center of the village as you replaced the cornucopia.

"Everyone, I thank you for coming out. It seems we've got a visitor." You'd gestured towards Seungkwan, earning various gasps and even a scream from a young child in the crowd. Murmuring had quickly started, your bandaged hands calling for their attention as you waved them around.

"Seungkwan, the god of wisdom, craft and strategy…has come to accept my challenge." There hadn't been much speaking after that – the villagers quickly moved to watch as your father and a few other people moved looms out for you and Seungkwan. Your fingers quickly threaded the yarn through yours, watching as Seungkwan took his time unraveling it and threading it through. He noted your impatience through the flare of your nostrils.

The villagers watched in awe as the two of you wove like your lives depended on it – though, your art told different stories. The people had heard tales of Seungkwan's relentless discipline, only confirmed as he weaved those tales into each corner of his tapestry – and it caused a bit of anxiety to fester in their stomachs. His tapestry held symbols of peace, his infamous olive branch weaved into every space he could fit it.

Your tapestry told tales of Seungcheol – the god of the sky and his countless romantic escapades. You shunned him, intricately weaving each and every face of his lovers with yarn and creating a bigger battle to be faced by the god himself. You took the thrill and rush of the callout to continue onto the god of music, weaving Jihoon's lyre into the tapestry with tales of his manipulation of mortals with his song, as well as his scorn. You even went as far as involving who would one day become one of your closest friends – the god of the Underworld, Jeonghan.

You wove mercilessly, spilling truths that were unbeknownst to you. You expressed resentment against Jeonghan with your yarn, spewing hatred of his isolation and cruelty towards the damned. You implemented his manipulation of other gods and mortals, his way with words and the imposement of his feelings upon the damned.

You flew too close to the Sun.

Seungkwan watched as you fell frantic with pride, your fingers working almost overtime as you burned through yarn like there was no tomorrow. He was impressed, but his expression hardened at your disrespect of the gods. What could you, a mortal, ever understand about being a god? What could you, a simple village girl who sold tapestries for a living, understand about pressure and having to guide all those to wander to where they need to be? Who were you to judge a god for having multiple lovers – had you ever had one? Who were you to talk down on a god for being cold and isolated, when you were the very same – boasting about your pride, isolating yourself to perfect a craft that would lead you to your demise? Who were you, to complain about the blessed tune of a god, can you do anything other than weave your loud-mouthed opinions?

The damned. That's who you were, if not who you would become.

"That's enough." He'd stopped you just as you reached the end of your yarn, tearing through the tapestry you'd woven before him. Your mouth fell, watching as the god ripped your work to shreds. You, ever so human…said exactly what passed through your head.

"You gods could never imagine someone to be better than you. You, of all gods, could never accept someone that's more capable than you. Someone faster, someone wiser–"

Seungkwan decided your idea of friendly competition had taken a turn for the worse. He simply held the shreds of your work in his hands, and gave you a stern look. "Pride will get you killed, you know." And, it did. However, you didn't exactly know how, and neither did Jeonghan – just that you were wrapped in the web, with spider-like limbs protruding amongst the rubbish tangled in the spindle and your dark hair framing your tear stained face.

It seemed you couldn't get enough of the thrill, though.

You begged Jeonghan to set you free and send you back – but Jeonghan knew of your insults directed at him through your tapestry. He'd clicked his tongue at you, eyeing your clothing. Your skirt was made of only the finest thread, your fingers bleeding through the taped cloth on them. Your hair was tangled and your skin was dull, and you were truly coming to the realization that that was all you were. A human, a mortal. A plaything, if he so desired.

Nothing in comparison to Jeonghan. Nothing in comparison to Seungcheol, Jihoon and, as much as you hated to admit it, Seungkwan.

He'd made you apologize, and he kept you in the Underworld for three days and three nights. By then, Wonwoo had come to fetch you – called by Jeonghan and Seungcheol. You'd met Wonwoo several times, often trading your finest tapestries for anything he'd give you.

He'd made you and your father a special pair of scissors in exchange for a woven satchel and the cloak you'd made of hemp for him, dyed carefully with safflower petals. He wore them as he sauntered into the Underworld, bearing a gift for Jeonghan – a pomegranate, forged from bronze and riddled with garnets of all shapes and sizes. He offered Jeonghan it as a trade-off for you, and the god accepted – not saying anything about you being free to return to the Overworld. But not without a catch, and not without a punishment.

What was the catch? 

You looked nothing like yourself. You were…different. Different slopes in your nose, different curves of your ears and your legs shorter. Your fingers permanently bruised from your past life of weaving and hubris.

And it happened again, and again, and again – until Jeonghan expected you to crash into the graveled ground like a spider falling from the sky. He'd always give you the same look, the same sigh, and the same flirtatious routine. Though, the more he saw you, the more he grew fond of you. He enjoyed humiliating you, watching you squirm under his gaze – but by your eighth visit, he was tired of the act.

Wonwoo was the only one who knew how much you'd been thrust in and out of the Underworld, offering you his spare room. He and his wife had long separated, so you were simply filling the void of a companion for him.

The punishment for your shenanigans? You lost your father, and didn't get to say goodbye.

Wonwoo took care of him, from a distance, while you were routinely jostled through the experience of living and dying, and physical change. Your father was never allowed any information about you, simply being told that you'd disappeared. No one expected him to live on in peace without his only daughter –  and he fell ill with worry and stress – leaving the god of fire to beg Seungcheol to let you return to him for a final goodbye. Seungcheol refused, and your father died after three nights of hard rainfall. 

Your punishment was not the worst there was. You knew that – but it still aches deep within. You challenged anyone and anything, you didn't really care to find a cure for your pain. You fought against anyone who would allow you to – your latest quest proving that you could entice anyone into a fight far quicker than Saerom, the goddess of discord and strife.

She obviously didn't take too kindly to that, sending you back down to the Underworld with a golden arrow in your chest. Leading you to this very conversation with Jeonghan – potentially your last ever conversation with him where he doesn't banish you to the depths of hell with all those who have wronged him.

You sigh, glancing down at your fingers. The same bloodied cloth from all those years ago reappeared on your hands, your bruised fingertips softly throbbing. Your apricot skirt hung carefully on your hips, the bandage top now carefully wrapped around your torso. You felt the weight of your jewelry return to your ears and neck, the singular ruby ring sitting snugly around your right thumb.

"Are you sure? Won't they remember me?" You ask softly, and for once, Jeonghan can see inner turmoil. He shakes his head. "Everyone has either left or died. And, you're always welcome to move around as well. As far as I know…they need a weaver in Olympus."

You look up to see Jeonghan's maroon eyes glint with mischief, his smile wide as Cerberus grunts next to you. Seeing your lips curl gently, he waves his fingers at you. "I'll see you in a few decades, yeah?"

Nodding, you take a deep breath before turning your back on him, seeing the three-headed beast begin to lead the way out. "I'll see you, Jeonghan."

TWO.

Seungkwan was restless.

He promised his life to this. A life of being just, a life of being fair, a life of being a pure and sound god with nothing but the best of intentions for the mortals he helped guide. A life of losing himself, and his own desires, in order to be there for those who truly needed help, those who were truly in need of guidance and a path to follow.

He was there to answer questions and solve problems. He was there to make decisions for everyone who needed him to.

Who answers his questions? Who solves his problems, who makes decisions for him when he is too overwhelmed to think for himself? Nobody. If he doesn't do it, it simply won't get done.

He'd even attempted to take lovers in, trying to kiss and touch his way out of his own stress only to pull away before things got too heated. He couldn't, in good faith, allow himself to submit to just anyone. The mortals were just excited to be with a god, someone who could easily break them, someone who was deemed an esteemed part of their community – he didn't want them to see him like that, not during an intimate affair. He wasn't just a notch on a bedpost; he too, felt things. He'd see hurt flash through their eyes as he casted them away, shame radiating off his shoulders as they gathered their clothing and left his temple.

He felt like something was missing in all of them. He thought about it tirelessly – he felt attracted to them. He felt lust, he felt desire, but nothing got him to the point where he felt it could be quenched. His yearning for someone deeper, someone real, someone deserving of him ate away at his heart.

He sighed, hearing the echo of his shoes against the marble tile of the temple. He'd had a long day, only to be rang with yet another qualm – a mortal who searched for a job was granted access to his temple, and had been sent by Jeonghan and brought to the sacred home by Vernon, Wonwoo, and Cerberus.

Jeonghan said the mortal was good at almost anything and everything, and was looking for a mentor to take her under as she had no remaining family in all of Olympus. Vernon and Cerberus came into view as Seungkwan reached the open doors of the temple, hearing soft laughter rip through the air as Wonwoo appeared as well, but it wasn't from him.

He sees a bandaged hand resting lightly on Wonwoo's shoulder, a hint of an apricot skirt peeking from behind Vernon's leg.

"I've missed you, Wonwoo."

His ears perk at the tone of voice. It's soft, it's melodic, it's teasing. 

He clears his throat, the three-headed beast flaring its nostrils as Seungkwan takes the steps down to the gathered polycule. Wonwoo smiles at him, something mirrored by Vernon as he quickly spins around. Cerberus carefully lowers to the ground, watching Seungkwan's every move as he clears his throat again.

"Gentlemen?" He questions, and Wonwoo steps aside. He sees the long, dark hair he spun into cobwebs so long ago flowing freely down your back once more. The sliver of your honeyed skin peering through the white bandage top you wore, your taped fingers folded in front of the loose apricot skirt you wore that very day.

"Hello." You speak softly, and Seungkwan doesn't reply as your smile reaches your eyes, the same way it had the first day he'd met you. He looks at Vernon, who shrugs. Wonwoo does the same, before holding up his satchel.

"She won't take up much space, and she can help you with anything you need here. Jeonghan said to talk to Seungcheol if you have any issues." Wonwoo seems to speak as though his word is law, making Seungkwan's jaw tick. They knew how meticulous he was – a place for everything and everything in its place. His home was holy to him, his gardens crafted so not even a single blade of grass was out of place. His windows washed morning and night to let the light in perfectly, his meals like clockwork.

He wasn't sure if there was a place for you here.

Seungkwan can't bring himself to say anything to Wonwoo and Vernon, who seem dead set on leaving you here. You carefully open Wonwoo's satchel, holding out a hemp sash. It was dyed a soft olive green, likely from nettle or dandelion leaves.

"For you. They said you like green." He sucks his teeth, taking it gently from your hands and draping it over his forearm. Wonwoo smiles to himself as you move to stand by Seungkwan's side, who shuffles a bit away from you. Seungkwan was never one to shy away from a mortal, he took his job seriously.

"Well." Vernon gives a smirk, one full of mirth as he pats the scaly beast next to him. "It's best we get going, Wonwoo here has got quite the journey back to Lydia." "So you're just going to leave her here?" Seungkwan asks, a bit of a bite in his tone making Wonwoo grin.

"You'll find a job for her, right? She's good at everything, she can even make you tapestries to help decorate. Your place feels like a prison sometimes." Seungkwan scowls at this, the older man reaching to pinch his cheek gently. "We'll see you around, Boo. We'll come check on you every few weeks, try not to rip each other's heads off." The men turn on their heels and saunter off without so much as a second glance or word to either of you. He can feel you practically vibrating as they walk into the distance. He doesn't know if it's nerves or excitement, but he can't bring himself to ask as he notices your body is covered in quite a thick layer of grime. There is black streaks of dirt all over your shoulder, your arms covered in green, likely from dying the sash.

"You need a bath." He states, missing your scowl as he turns, marching back into the temple quickly. You pull your skirt up to scamper after him, your worn leather sandals clicking against the tile. He silently leads the way to a large bathroom, a clawfoot tub in the center surrounded by beautiful herbal soaps and sprigs of lavender and rosemary.

"Have you any other clothing?" He asks, carefully turning the knobs of the tub and receiving a steady flow of water.

He rings his ringed fingers under it as you shake your head. "No, just…this."

You gesture at your dirty clothing, making him click his tongue as he nods. "I'll find something. Feel free to use anything here, and I'll be back."

He can feel your eyes trail after him as he leaves, before hearing the soft thwip of your clothing being pulled off your body, the jingle of your jewelry being pooled together. He hears the splash of the water as you lower yourself into the tub, and a hum as you test the temperature.

He scurries off to his bedroom, throwing open a few of his drawers to see if he has anything he could offer you. You looked exactly the same as before, but he'd sworn that you'd died. He'd wrapped the cobweb so tight, he was sure you would have kicked the bucket at some point.

But, here you were. As if you didn't remember, as if nothing had happened between the two of you that would make you want to hate him. He had to tell you, right? It was the just thing to do, the honest and right thing to do.

He grimaces to himself, yanking a white chiton out of his drawer. It'd been a gift from a former lover, but it'd be your pajamas for the night. He shuffles around for towels, taking the softer ones out of his closet before trekking back out and hearing you hum a soft melody. One that reminded him of Jihoon, his tunes of love and desperate isolation.

When you come back into view, your entire body is submerged below the soapy water. The bandages on your fingers soaked through as your hand dangles over the edge of the tub, your thumb ring a sparkling contrast. Your legs are crossed, one foot in the air as you examine your toes. It was like it was your first time on Earth.

"Here." He drapes the items over the towel rack a few inches away, and you look up at him. Your face was stained as well, a few odd lines likely from streaming tears paving their way through the dirt on your cheeks. You give him a smile.

"Can I ask you for a favor?" You ask gently, and he sighs, folding his hands in front of him before nodding. You sit up, your bare chest peeking over the soap as he looks away. "I can't…my fingers are really messed up."

You hold your hand up, the bandages threatening to peel off before you close your fingers again. "Can you wash my hair?" This is innocent. Even seeing you in the nude, meant nothing to him. He'd done this for dozens of mortals who had worked under him. He knew he was a tough guy to please, his perfectionism often shown in the pricking of his pupils' fingers and their sore joints. He nods.

"As you wish." He moves around as you adjust, dragging a stool from behind the door to the tub and lingering at a shelf in the wall. "Rosemary? Lavender? Thyme?" He gestures at the jars of infused shampoos, and you shrug your shoulders.

"Whatever you'd like is fine." He plucks the rosemary shampoo off the shelf, opting to roll his sleeves up and sliding his rings off before he sits at the stool. He shoves the rings in his pocket, before running his fingers under the running water once more to ensure its warmth.

"Lean back for me." He murmurs, and you tilt your head back, letting the water stream over your hairline and brows. Your eyes flicker open, watching as his hands gently card through the tangled locks, carefully undoing the knots you'd acquired.

It's not long before his dull nails are working the shampoo into your scalp softly, making your shoulders sag in relief. He assumes you'd been gone for a very long time, probably under the watchful eye of Jeonghan and whatever other damned souls were down there. He scratches behind your ears softly, making you shiver and close your eyes as you lean into the touch.

"How long has it been since you've had a bath?" He asks aloud, and you sigh quietly. 

"In this form, or the others?" 

"The others?" He echoes, and you peel an eye open to look at him.

"I remember you, you know." He tries not to let relief show in his face as he nods with an unimpressed look. "I figured as much, otherwise Jeonghan wouldn't have sent you here. Your second chance is my punishment." "My ninth chance." You murmur as he tilts your head back into the running water, the shampoo running off the sides. You close your eyes again, and Seungkwan says nothing as he rakes his fingers through your hair. He gently rubs the dirt off your cheeks before you move away.

"I don't expect you to like me, nor do I expect you to do me any favors beyond this one. I'm only here because Jeonghan said he wouldn't send me back again, so I have to be on my best behavior." You mutter, sitting up before tugging your bandages off with your teeth and flinging the wet cloth onto the floor by your dirty clothes. Seungkwan grimaces, before watching as you grab a bar of soap and run it under the water.

"I can take care of myself. You can go now." You say, the gentle tone gone as you lather the soap off the bar and gently work it into your face. Your fingers are so bruised he worries they hurt. 

He stands, replacing the stool to its rightful spot and moving towards the door, stopping at the threshold. "Your room is down the corridor to the left. You are the only other person in the temple, so you will have to work with me if you want to stay here. I hope that's understood." He doesn't give you a chance to reply before closing the bathroom door behind him, almost slamming it as he walks away. He walks to his kitchen, dragging a tub of beeswax his previous pupil had collected carefully over the course of her time in his temple. She tended to his gardens, before sending her on her way back to her village with a new skill to use for profit.

He can hear you clamber about, but chooses to focus on his task. He's carefully melting the beeswax in a pot, when he hears you walking around the temple. He doesn't move except to gather his ingredients – peppermint oil, calendula infused oil, olive oil. It would help your fingers, and hopefully you wouldn't be so stuck in your ways this time that you end up hurting yourself trying to be the best.

Something he has yet to learn how to stop doing – but if he admits to imperfection, if he admits to flaws, is he a god? You're pacing around the temple and taking everything in, he can practically hear you murmuring to yourself as you wander into the kitchen, nearly bumping into the dining table.You catch yourself, and he continues to watch you out of the corner of his eye as you pick through the fruit in the bowl. You pull an apple, rubbing the skin against his chiton. 

Your teeth sink into the flesh of the fruit, the crunch satisfying to his ears as you inch closer to him. You're peering over his shoulder, when he finally speaks.

"Do you always just make yourself at home?" He asks, and you're so close to him he can practically feel the shrug of your shoulders. 

"This is home, isn't it? I'm here for a while, maybe the rest of my measly, mortal life. Might as well be a nuisance to you, oh wise one"

You're teasing him, provoking him. He knows he shouldn't buy into it, that's what landed you back here in the first place. "Watch it." He snaps, and you giggle behind him.

"Whatever you say." Your words are drawn out as you prance out of the room, a hum from your throat as you do so. He grumbles to himself as he measures out everything perfectly, heating everything just right so it will help your fingers in the best way possible. He should be freaking out. He should be storming the Underworld right now, demanding Jeonghan take you back to whatever hell you were in before he sent you to him. He should be angry that you're in his presence, your ego so hard to swallow even when now you've only been sent back as a way for Seungkwan to right his wrongs. Or so he thinks.

However, just as you are vain and you are prideful, Seungkwan is selfish and Seungkwan is intolerant of your disrespect. It could very well be a challenge not only sent by Jeonghan but by Seungcheol, to prove his worthiness and show that he can be perfect, too.

Not that any of the gods were perfect by any means.

He sighs, carefully pouring the mixture into a tin, where it'll slightly solidify and you'll be able to use it as a salve for your tired hands. And eventually, your tired feet, because you certainly won't have any downtime.

He carefully walks back towards his bedroom, the hot tin in his hand as he does so. Your head of curls is seen ducking into the room, and he tries to hold back his annoyance as he turns into the room as well.

"What are you doing here?" He announces as you throw open his shutters, the moonlight illuminating the room and your frame as you stare out the window at the rolling hills of his backyard. You don't look back at him as you take another bite of your apple, crossing your arms and leaning on the windowsill before responding around your food.

"I told you, this is my home now, too." He doesn't respond, choosing to slide the hot tin onto his vanity before carefully slipping his shirt over his head, the worn wool tossed into a woven basket by the door. You're not looking at him, but he's hoping you'll get the hint and get out as he disappears into his closet. He removes the rest of his attire, grabbing his robe and tying it around himself before exiting the closet to see you now draped across his reading chair, a lit candle in your hand as you skimmed his open books.

"You have books in your room," he calls, and your eyes twinkle with something he can't place as you blow out the candle. He watches as you replace it gently, and push off his chair. 

"Goodnight, wisest one." You blow him a kiss as you skip out of his room, and he feels like he might be stuck in a constant state of déjà vu. He shakes his head, grabbing a towel before heading towards the bathroom. He sees your clothes still gathered on the floor, struggling not to roll his eyes as he drapes his towel over the rack, carefully picking your clothes up and placing them inside a wooden basket by the door. He turns the water on, and is about to take his robe off when he hears you knock at the door.

"Kwannie? Can I call you Kwannie?" You call, and he tongues his cheek in annoyance as he flings open the door. 

"Yes, Y/N? How can I help you?" You shrug, "I don't like my bed. Can I have yours?" He scoffs out a laugh, before seeing you blink up at him owlishly. "You're not being serious." "But I am, Kwannie! I'm a guest, you wouldn't let your guest sleep on that horrible bed, would you? You're a gracious host." Your hands are holding onto the fabric of his robe, your thumbs circling it before his hands are on your wrists, pulling them off him.

"You take what you're given, threadling." His voice is stern, and he's about to close the door when he sees the pout on your lips, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose before sighs. "Fine, take the bed." "Really!?" You squeal, making him shut the door in your face. 

"Don't. Just go to bed."

Seungkwan couldn't stop thinking after that. He quietly slipped into his bedroom after his bath, seeing you sound asleep with his pillow covered in your mess of curls. Your lips were slightly parted, slivers of your teeth illuminated by the moonlight. He took the moment to look closely at your face, a few surface-level scars scattered across your skin. Your eyes were thickly lashed and you had deep bags from lack of rest.

You left the other side of the bed with the covers pulled back, almost inviting him to slide in with you. He eyes it, taking the pillow and tucking it under his arm.

He sat at his desk, watching your even breathing as he slid the pillow against his lower back. He wonders who else you challenged and why they sent you back. He wonders why they gave you so many chances as a mere mortal, and why Seungcheol didn't strike you down the moment your insults gained wind.

"Stop staring at me."

Your voice rang through the room, and Seungkwan just tilted his head.

"No." Your head moves up slightly, and you sigh. "Whatever." You roll onto your side, facing away from the open window. The moonlight now shines on your back and legs, and he notes the way your feet peek out from under the wool blanket. Your toenails are painted in a chipped carmine, and he simply sighs to himself as he crosses his arms over his chest and attempts to get comfortable in the wooden rocking chair.

"You'd be much more comfortable on the bed." You call, and he hums in response. His head rests against the wooden rest, crossing his legs at the ankles as you sit up. "Seungkwan." "Yes, threadling?" His eyes are closed, hands folded in his lap as he responds. He shows no interest in what you could possibly have to say. You're just another chore to him, another mission he must complete to prove himself. He'd be a fool to fall for your charms, or your deceptions. You could flirt all you want, you could challenge him all you want – but he won't give in to you.

Not again.

THREE.

The night had continued without another word from either of you, and you were not in bed when he woke up. He heard the soft running of water and assumed you decided to bathe once more. Seungkwan's back was incredibly sore, but he rose with the sun anyway. He stretched on his patio, before retreating into the kitchen to make breakfast – spotting you tinkering in there already.

You're not wearing what he gave you yesterday – instead, a red, glittering sash from his collection bunched and pinned, tied around your waist like a skirt. It dropped to your mid-thigh, and your chest was covered by a pinned piece of white linen you'd likely found in his closet, something he didn't have use for.

You really knew how to make something out of almost nothing.

You stood in front of his stone oven, holding the wooden peel as a staff and tapping your bare foot against the marble floor. He peers over your shoulder to see a dimpled focaccia with halved cherry tomatoes and coarse salt above the flame. Your eyes are illuminated by the fire baking it, and your shoulders jump when you hear him speak behind you.

"What are you doing?" "Making bread. We should really go to the market, you've run out of fish." You respond, gesturing to the table. He looks over his shoulder, seeing an array of fresh fruit and goat cheese neatly placed on plates from his cupboard. There is a pile of juiced oranges and a few carrot peels in his compost bin, and the juice sits in a pitcher next to the jar of honey.

"I left a salve for you on the vanity. Did you put it on?" He asks, not moving from behind you. You nod, holding up your free hand. Your fingers are freshly bandaged, this time in strips of linen. The salve was carefully spread around your fingertips.

"Why are you being so nice to me? You killed me off eight years ago, what makes now any different?" Your question catches him a bit off guard. His head whips up to look at you, and sees you already staring down at home. The flame in your eyes is just as intense, if not more, than the one in the oven. It's like you resent him.

"I'm not a human. I don't have to admit or explain anything to you, we're not the same." He speaks with confidence, and it only makes your brow furrow deeper.

"You don't have to be human to admit your wrongdoings. You killed me off because I made you look bad, Seungkwan." He scoffs, adjusting his pajama shirt. "I sent you to the Underworld because your ego was absolutely suffocating. I don't understand how anyone within a ten-foot radius wasn't crushed by the sheer weight of your hubris."

"Isn't this my land, too? Isn't this where I can express my feelings and my rights, where I can–" His hand comes up, cutting you off just like he did the day you left.

"You are a human. You can train to be the best, you can try to do whatever you desire in this world. You will never be perfect, therefore you cannot compare where you don't compete." He can tell the words hurt you as your eyes glaze over slowly, but you refuse to back down.

"I may not be perfect, but you're also far from it." You grumble, turning away from him to take the bread out of the oven. "Being a god means nothing. You're just like me, all you've got is something fancy to show for it. Something that proves that there are favorites in this world. Without your so-called wisdom, without your so-called perfect presentation, you'd be just like me." He doesn't speak, feeling a bit of fury pool in his stomach.

You carefully pull the bread out of the oven, sliding it onto the cooling rack you left on the counter. You adjust the wooden peel against the wall, before turning to him with one last slip of your tongue.

"You may be a god. You may be good at what you represent, you may be rich in wealth and you may be handsome. Your fellow gods boast your compassion, but you've shown me none. You are nothing but a frail shadow of a man playing pretend, nothing but someone who lacks what life is truly rich with – love." His eyes scan your face.

"What would you even know about love?" He doesn't like the way you smile at him.

"You'd like to know, wouldn't you? You'd want me to tell you all my secrets, to show you what it's like to be normal and not have to live up to anyone's unrealistic expectations." You're stepping closer, a finger to his chest as you speak. "You'd love to know what the touch of a woman feels like, what it's like to be coddled and kissed and touched until you can't think anymore." You're so close that your lips are brushing the shell of his ear now, and he can feel your lips curl into a smirk as you whisper.

"You want to be forgiven for your sins, but you know if you ever so much as think of telling anyone how much of a screw-up you really are, you'll be seen as less than. Less than your peers, and a disappointment to your elders. You want to be loved, but to be loved is to be known. I don't think you're ready for that."

He feels you brush past him, and his face heats in embarrassment as he hears your feet patter away, and the door of your bedroom shut tightly.

He ignores the tear that slips down his face, letting it drip onto the floor as he scans the array of breakfast once more. He's not hungry. He hates that you've chipped a bit away at his façade, he hates that you're able to read him so easily. It only means he has to try harder to dominate this relationship.

The rest of the day was filled with nothing but silence and tension. 

After your encounter in the kitchen early that morning, it seemed you had no interest in interacting with Seungkwan. He didn't really care, taking the time instead to make the trip to the market. He'd heard you rustling about in your bedroom before he made his leave, and assumed you were trying to make yourself comfortable.

It'd begun raining after he left, making him agitated as he watched vendors put up their tarps in the market. He carefully roamed through the market, picking the best produce amongst the selections. He even stopped by a textile tent and picked out a few fabrics for you, assuming you'd need more clothing. He packed everything and made his way home, parasol over his shoulder as he arrived.

Only to enter the temple and see the oven aflame again, but you are nowhere near it. A loud roll of thunder sounds overhead, and he hears a soft sigh from the gardens. He leaves the items he got on the table, quickly making his way towards the garden doors to see you standing with your hands clasped behind your back, your clothing clinging to your skin as you let the rain drench you.

"You're going to get sick." He calls from the threshold, and you only peer over your shoulder at him. Shrugging, you turn back to look over the flower field he'd carefully curated, and he sees a few sprigs of lavender tucked over your ear. Your hair has been long soaked, sticking to your shoulders and back as he groans inwardly.

"Y/N, come inside."

"No." You turn to face him. "I like the way it feels." "The rain? It's cold and you're wet, your clothes are ruined." He says pointedly, and you shrug once more, looking up at the sky. 

"We were born naked, we will die naked. Who cares?" "You're being existential and it's freaking me out, come inside." He rolls his eyes, and you tilt your head at him. 

"Why don't you come out here? Have you ever danced in the rain?" "I don't dance, Y/N. Now, come on. I won't ask again." You seemingly oblige, slowly strolling back to the limestone and stopping a few feet in front of him. He steps to the side, assuming you'll walk inside. You shake your hand, holding your hand out. "Dance with me." He rubs his temples, a grimace on his face. "Didn't you say Jeonghan told you to be on your best behavior? This doesn't seem like very good behavior." "He said best behavior when you're bossing me around, not when I get to simply exist. It won't kill you to indulge me, aren't you supposed to be warm and welcoming?" You argue, your hand not dropping from where you've extended it.

"I'm supposed to guide you so you don't do something stupid, and you're here so I can ensure that your life can bring you something of fruit. Now, come inside, before I bring you in here myself." He's stern, but he can't help and notice the way your eyes flash as you take a step back.

"You're going to have to catch me, then." You're shrugging dramatically, and Seungkwan groans. 

"Y/N, don't do this." "I like it when you beg." You smirk, taking yet another step back. His jaw ticks and he sees you sprint off the limestone patio and into the flower field. He crosses his arms, letting you get as far as the marigolds before he sighs inwardly, stepping out into the rain and walking towards the field. "Gotta be faster than that, Seungkwan!"

He scowls at your teasing, feeling his stomach churn as he breaks into a jog, watching as you twirl into the zinnias. He doesn't like this, feeling like he's following your lead because you refuse to respect him as a god. He doesn't like the fact that he feels his shoulders less tense at the idea of it, and his mind has only the goal of dragging you inside before you get sick.

"Missed me, missed me!" You call, even making a show of doing a curtsy into the tulips. He's close enough to grab you, but waits. Your back is turned to him when he grabs your arm, pulling you to him. 

"Y/N, this is not a game." He mutters as you let him tug you close, a smile on your lips proving your enjoyment at making him work to catch you.  

"Yet, you played along." You reply coyly, before he rolls his eyes, and you nearly scream as he single-handedly throws you over his shoulder. 

"No more of this. You're going to have a bath and we're going to eat and go to bed. The real work starts tomorrow." You're silent as he walks the two of you back to the temple, feeling your cheeks hot at the placement of his ringed fingers around your thigh. You don't really like Seungkwan, because, well – you resent him for having sent you to the Underworld over friendly competition. But, you're still just a woman, and the feeling of his warm fingers gripping your skin was proof of carnal desire's existence within you.

He sets you down in the threshold, his nimble fingers making quick work of the pins in the makeshift skirt you'd wrapped yourself in earlier that morning. This seemed normal for him, gathering the pins between plump lips as he nearly ripped your top off. You weren't complaining, his knuckles brushing against your skin gently. "Go. Bathe. You'll get sick."

"Seems like an excuse just to see me naked, Seungkwan." "Go." His voice holds a bite before he gathers your hair in his hand, carefully wringing the water out just outside the doorway. A soft push of his damp hand on your shoulder makes you move forward, and you make your way to the hallway, peering over your shoulder to see the god grimacing as he peels his own top off, a low whistle from your lips before you disappear down the hall.

You can hear him groan as he walks around, likely cold from the rain. "Would you like to join me?" You call, and hear a scoff from the kitchen.

He doesn't respond, and you hear the trickle of water into the sink. You assume he's wringing your clothes out, and you shrug as you draw yourself a bath once more. You scour his shampoo jars carefully, this time grabbing the citrus one. The bathroom quickly fills with soft basil and grapefruit notes, and you sink yourself into the warmth of the water.

You don't know how much time has passed when you hear a soft knock at the bathroom door, and Seungkwan clearing his throat before asking if he can come in. You hum in approval, choosing to keep your eyes closed as he opens the door. You wear the soft brush of his robe against the door, and you ignore the disappointment settling in your stomach.

"I got you these at the market. I figured we'd be able to make something of them." He holds up a few pieces of linen, different patterns catching your eyes as you peel them open. You nod excitedly, leaning over the edge of the tub to look closer. "I have pins and sewing needles somewhere around here, we can get some measurements done when you're out." He says pointedly, giving you a quick once over before he holds up a towel and places it on the rack. "Be quick." "Don't you also need a bath?" You ask, leaning your cheek on your palm. 

He gives you a quizzical look. "Did you expect me to take it with you?" "Would that kill you? To be enticed by a human?" Your smile is sly, but he rolls his eyes. 

"Mortals and gods are meant to interact, Y/N." "Have you ever slept with one?" 

His brow furrows, before he scoffs. "Do you always ask such personal questions?" Shrugging, you lean back into the water. "Just wanted to know. I know some humans like sleeping with gods, it makes them feel important or whatever." You roll your eyes, and he just waves you off.

"I've no need to sleep with a mortal. There's a certain insatiability to humans that I simply don't have time for." He states, and you look up at him with squinted eyes. 

"You mean…?"

Sighing, he leans against the doorway of the bathroom. "Once you start messing around with humans like that, you can't stop. It's like…you feed off their mortality. You become addicted to how they feel, how they taste, how…vulnerable, they are." He looks a little disgusted as he says this, but shakes it off as he looks at the linens in his hands. "It would make me an unjust god to involve myself that way. My job isn't to bring you…sexual gratification." "Is that why Seungcheol is the way he is?" You ask, and you don't miss the way Seungkwan's eyes trail the way your legs peek over the soapy water. Shifting, his eyes snap back to yours, "No, Seungcheol is the way he is because he likes attention. He needs it to function." Rolling your eyes, "He's the god of the sky, everyone practically worships him." "Everyone but you, it seems." He says, and you smile at him. 

"Am I supposed to?" "My job is to guide you, but I won't tell you what you should or shouldn't do, you're a mortal. You've got free will." He clicks his tongue, before his fingers toy with the doorknob. "I'll be in my bedroom." "Get pretty while you wait for me." You wink, and he scowls. 

"You're such a brat." The door closes before you can say anything, only a laugh from your chest as you unplug the drain, watching the water slide down. You rinse off with the running water, carefully squeezing your hair of excess as you step out of the tub, gingerly wrapping the towel around yourself and tucking the corner in. 

Opening the door, you carefully walk down the hall to Seungkwan's room, hearing him rustle around before you knock. A muffled come in is heard, and you open the door to see him holding a few pins in his mouth as he drags a step stool to the center of the room. His eyes glance up at you, before he beckons you forward. You walk in, arms crossed over your chest as you watch him get situated.

"What's all this?" You peer at the materials he's laid out, seeing a pair of scissors oddly reminiscent of Wonwoo's style. 

"I can't have you working under me without proper attire. So, we're going to do some measurements, and I'll have this done by morning." "So I'm expected to be nude for the next few hours?" You scoff out a laugh, and he gives you a raised brow. 

"I have a few robes, if that'll make you feel better? It doesn't bother me either way, it's your body." "And you've never been attracted to a mortal?" You tease, causing him to pinch the bridge of his nose before taking a deep breath. 

"You won't let this go, will you?" "You may be a god, but you're also a man. Forgive me for assuming you think with both heads." You say, perching on the edge of the step stool and crossing one leg over the other. The towel bares your thighs, and he shakes his head.

"Not being intimate with mortals doesn't mean I don't feel lust or desire." He rolls his eyes, and you smirk at him. 

"But you won't give into your desires because it shows you're just as human as any of us, right?" He sighs, beckoning you to stand. "On the stool, please. Careful." He holds his hand out for the towel, and you peel it off slowly before handing it to him. He drapes it over the back of his desk chair as you step onto the flat seat of the stool. 

He analyzes you carefully, walking around your nude body with his fingers tapping his lips. "Do you prefer your clothes loose?" "On the bottom, easier access if I want to execute my free will." You use air quotes, and he snorts. 

"All humans are the same, riddled with their own desire." "I'm just a woman, Seungkwan. I have needs, too." You roll your eyes as he holds a piece of linen to your hip, before his other hand trails your back to meet the two corners of fabric together. He pins it carefully, before you speak again.

"So what do you do? When you're overwhelmed with want?" You make a show of your words, jazz hands around him as he drapes fabric in certain ways for a different flow. 

He shakes his head, "Do I have to answer that?" "What are you if not an honest god, Seungkwan?" Your teasing makes his jaw clench, you notice, but you say nothing as he pins the fabric in another spot. He doesn't respond, instead choosing to drape the fabric yet another way for more dimension. A few more folds and pins later, he steps back and looks at his work. "Pretty?" He asks, turning you to face the mirror behind you, his hands on your hips as he watches your reaction change into a timid smile. 

"Yeah, pretty." "Perfect." He nods, unpinning it at the hip so it can stay together as it falls off and he drapes it across the bed carefully. "I'll sew this for you and it can be your outfit for tomorrow! I think you need sleepwear, right?" He taps his chin as he thinks, scanning the remaining fabrics. "I don't mind sleeping like this, actually. I'd rather have more day clothing." You speak as you step off the stool, and he hums in response.

"Are you sure? It can get quite cold in the bedrooms." He says, reaching for a bright yellow piece of linen. He holds it up to your chest, a quizzical look in his eyes as he gazes at you carefully. 

"You can warm me up if I get too cold, can't you?" "What is it with you and these odd little questions, threadling? Are you attracted to me?" He rolls his eyes, not expecting you to shrug your shoulders. 

"I'm human, not blind. I might not like you, but I can appreciate that you're nice to look at." You worry his eyes might get stuck in his head if he keeps rolling them, but he shakes his head as he pins the yellow linen over your shoulder. "Humans, such odd creatures." "Odd is good though." You say into the air, and he smiles as he raises your arm to pin the fabric against your ribs. 

"Odd is good, you're right. It keeps me entertained." "I'm not going to be your jester, if that's what you're alluding to." You warn, and he actually laughs, for the first time since you'd arrived. 

"Nonsense, I'd never put you in that position." "What about others?" His face is closer than it had ever been as he pins the fabric around your neck, and he lets out a hum. "I guess we'll never know, will we?"

You're not satisfied with that answer, but Seungcheol made you good at everything – including luring people into your web of lust and yearning, making them a moth to your flame. Surely, Seungkwan was no different.

"But we could." You murmur, trailing your eyes down the soft curve of his jaw. Sighing, he steps back slightly and you feel his warm breath against your skin as he turns you to face the mirror once more. 

He holds the loose fabric in his fingers, pulling it taut against your torso. "We'd pin this back here. What do you think?" "I think you're avoiding my questions because you're scared of giving in to me." You say pointedly, watching his face in the reflection as he purses his lips. 

"Do you like the draping or not, so we can try something else?" "Yeah, I like it." You roll your eyes, feeling the fabric become loose once more as he lets it go, carefully moving around to unpin you. His fingers linger against your skin, before you're nude in front of the mirror once more. This goes on for a while, different linens being draped across your body in almost an expert manner. Pins are carefully put in and pulled out, and soon his bed is covered in your carefully folded options and set aside to be finished for you. "Here, I'm going to take a quick bath and then we need to eat dinner." He slides a robe over your shoulders, prompting you to slip your arms through the soft silk. 

"So seeing me like this does nothing for you?" You try again, and he just chuckles in disbelief.

"Do you want me to compliment you or something? You realize I've seen plenty of naked bodies in my lifetime, right?" He says, replacing the stool in the corner of the room as you perch on the edge of the bed. 

"Oh, I'm sure this is the norm for you. Just loads of beautiful women throwing themselves at you because they think you have something to offer them." "And yet, they never get anything from me." He nods, not seeing the way your eyes widen. 

"What?" "Exactly what I said. You're not the first human to be in this temple, and you might not be the last. Everyone needs me for one thing or another, and once they've gotten their fill, they think I can offer to fill their carnal desires. I guess they see it as a payment, but it's honestly just a bit insulting." He shrugs, and you hum in response.

"So you've never…slept with a mortal?" You ask, leaning on your hands as he rustles through his closet, conjuring a towel and returning in yet another robe. 

He shakes his head. "I never let it get that far." "But you'll do other things? You'll let them touch you?" You prod, and he shrugs, with a smile. 

"I like the game, not super into the prize. As much of a prize as a mortal can be, I guess. I know they don't really want me for me, so I just play along until they realize I won't be giving them what they want. At least, not fully." "What does that mean, though?" You call as he begins to take his walk down to the bathroom, and he sighs loudly. 

"Why does it matter, angel?"

Your lip twitches at the pet name. You choose not to respond, instead letting the conversation seep into your mind and hopping off the bed, making a beeline for the kitchen. 

Might as well make myself useful, you think.

It doesn't take long to prepare a light dinner. Wine, oiled bread and carefully speared fruit. You're forcing a skewer through lamb chunks when you hear him wander into the kitchen, the top notes of his minty soap slightly overwhelming.

You are just a woman, after all.

"Lamb?" He asks, and you can feel the heat of his body behind you. 

You hold up the skewer, nodding, "I figured it'd be quick and easy. I'd like to get to bed early, you said tomorrow would be my demise." "You're dramatic, that is not what I said." He snorts, moving away from you to get the fire started. The two of you work in unison to get dinner on the flame, opting to sit on the same side of the table and sip your wine as you stare at the fire.

"Do you ever feel lonely?" You ask, resting your wine in the dip of your lap. He shakes his head.

"No. I've heard a lot about that, though. Humans feel like they need someone, or something, to fill a void. I think it's just a feeling of emptiness because they've yet to love themselves and choose to fill the hole with material things, or attempt to patch it with someone else."

He sips his wine as you gawk at him, a scoff from your throat.

"That's not at all what that means, Seungkwan."

His head lolls to the side, a smile on his lips. "Isn't it, though? What do you take it to mean?" Okay, maybe he's right. Maybe.

"It means that you…the human emotion is very complex, you know? It means wanting more, it means being satisfied with yourself but wanting companionship. It means–" "It means humans are greedy." He interrupts, and you almost miss the way he inches a little closer. "It means all you do is take, and take, and take. Humans are slaves to the desires they feel, you don't really need anyone to be happy or fulfilled. It's all a human concept."

Your nose scrunches as you grimace, and he sighs, sliding his cup onto the table. "Humans act like loneliness is…for example, you see the stars." He gestures to the window above the counter, the sky now clear and the moonlight floods into the kitchen.

"Humans want to say that loneliness is the stars in the sky looking wrong. Or, they make up things like speaking to the moon and hoping their lover is somewhere else, looking at that very same moon and doing the same. Humans are experts in yearning, because of that free will you've been granted." He states, and you slide closer to him, your thigh bumping his.

"So you've never yearned for anyone?" You ask, looking slightly down at him as he leans back onto the table. 

He shakes his head, "I've never had anyone be worth enough to pine after. I'm just not the kind of god that needs that fulfillment, like Seungcheol or Wonwoo." "So you don't think any mortal and god love stories could be successful? Or any love stories, in general? Have you got a glacier for a heart?" 

He hums, "I do think it's possible, to love and to be loved. However, let's take Mingyu and Tzuyu, for example. Mingyu fell in love with her after striking himself with one of his own arrows. They've been inseparable since, but that doesn't mean they have a beautiful love story. It started as an honest mistake, and now they've been together for as long as I can remember." "Don't you remember how much Tzuyu fought for him after she betrayed him? How she faced his mother, who wanted her dead, to win him back? You don't think she loves him after all she suffered to earn him, and then Mingyu taking her to Seungcheol to make her into a goddess, moved by her love and dedication for him? You don't think that's far more than just a mistake?" "What, you believe in fate?" He asks lazily, and you scoff. "Yes! I do! I believe they were destined to be together!" You argue, and he smiles. 

"You would believe that, yeah. After all, Tzuyu was a mortal. Maybe you want the same for yourself." Your brows furrow, and you knock his shoulder gently. "I would never want to become a goddess, I'd rather die than fall in love with some god who thinks he's too good for me." "Oh, but isn't that what Mingyu did? Fall in love with a mortal despite being better than her, and bringing her to his world to have her forever?" He raises a brow, and you scowl. 

"Mingyu doesn't think that he's better than Tzuyu, otherwise he would have never asked Seungcheol to turn her into a goddess." Seungkwan sits up, his face now mere inches from yours as he speaks. "She betrayed his trust, after he said he could never see his face. Don't you know why that is?" "Have you ever thought that maybe it was to protect her?!" You tongue your cheek in annoyance, the acknowledgement of knowing maybe you're subtly wrong appearing on your face. He smiles, returning to his original position before sighing.

"You're somewhat right, I guess. But, I get it. I can see why that's a beautiful love story to you, full of forgiveness and dedication for a lover. Even if it did start off wrong, some of the most amazing stories never have very clean beginnings." He nods, before standing to retrieve the now cooked skewers from the fire.

You eat silently, the two of you still staring at the fire as you chew. Seungkwan swipes his napkin across your lip a few times, and you find yourself missing the touch as you clean up. He finishes off his wine, and yours once you offer it, and diligently washes both cups as the cicadas chirp outside the window.

Following behind him as he leads the way, you're hesitant to walk past him to your own bedroom. You'd lied about the bed, it was fine. In fact, you were sure it was better than Seungkwan's. "Something on your mind, angel?" He asks as you stop a few feet from your door, and you can almost hear the smug smirk on his face. You tap your foot, wondering if you should admit to the silly little fear of yours. "Closed mouths don't get fed." He calls again, and you huff, turning on your heel and walking to stand in front of him. "Can I sleep with you tonight?" You mutter, hearing his tongue click and echo around the temple. 

"Why? And it's not that my bed is better than yours, I know that." You scowl, "I don't like sleeping alone. I don't like the dark."

His amused look is hidden by his hand over his mouth, a pout on your own as you cross your arms. "You're such a human." "You're being mean." Mumbling, you push past him and tug the covers off his bed. He watches you silently, your robe sliding off your body and pooling at your feet before you slide into the warm duvet. He bites back a laugh, before stepping into the room and gently closing the door behind him. Walking up to the bed, he picks the robe up and hangs it on the bedpost, before rounding the frame and copying your movements on the opposite side. Your eyes are open, and you watch as he slips in next to you.

"Stay on your side. You can obey that, right?" He says into the air, facing away from you as he pulls the cover over his waist. Your eyes trail his back, shoulders slightly tensed as he gets comfortable. You want to reach out and touch him, but choose to clench your hands under your pillow, before sighing and turning the other way.

"Goodnight, Seungkwan."

"Goodnight, angel."

FOUR.

Somehow, Seungkwan was on the other side of the bed.

You were nestled into his naked torso, your lips pouted against his neck. Your hair was a mess around you, your leg flung over his waist as you slept soundly. He rolls his eyes, wondering how to get out of the position without waking you. It's barely dawn, he likes some time to himself before dealing with the mortals that are honestly the bane of his existence.

He gently wraps his fingers around your knee, moving you off his body with precision. He'd never let any of the other mortals sleep in his bed, much less with him, but he knows it's the guilt from killing you off years ago. Unfortunately, Seungkwan is far too aware of his wrongs. In the past, he'd gotten scolded by several of his peers due to his harsh nature. He and Vernon got drunk over an aged wine a few years after your disappearance and Seungkwan admitted he'd jumped the gun on punishment.

What he didn't know was that Vernon spoke to Seungcheol about it, who then spoke to Jeonghan about it. That's how they came up with sending you back to Seungkwan for your last chance at life, maybe you could right your wrongs with each other. You both struggle with pride and yearn to be perfect, never wanting to admit when you're wrong.

But you were human, you knew you couldn't be perfect. You had a softer heart, not having seen the things Seungkwan had seen or lived the life he'd known. Seungkwan had built his walls up nice and high, and rarely let anyone in to take a peek. You in his bed was something he'd never allow if you were just anyone.

He knows it's also his attraction for you coming to the surface. It didn't take a genius to realize that it was this he'd been looking for in every lover he'd ever tried to have – your witty remarks, your obvious disinterest in him or his skills as a god. You weren't looking at him as some being worth worshiping, but someone who needed to be loved, to be held together and forgiven – despite resenting him.

He knows you can't possibly know how much his past decisions weigh on him, but it is scary to think that you can sense something about him. You know something, something that makes him feel uneasy, and it's what's inside. You know his pain, his truth, his heart.

Sighing, he softly rolls you onto your back, covering your bare frame with the duvet. It's only half true, what he said about your body – he's amazed at every curve and dimple, he wants to run his hands all over you until the end of time. He likes the way your hips swing as you walk, the bounce in your step and how soft your cheeks are. How soft you are.

What kind of god is he if he gives into his desires? If he sinks his teeth into you like a cat catching a mouse, if he lets you teeter him around like a puppet for just a taste of you? What kind of god is he if he lusts after you when he knows getting involved with mortals won't end well for him, especially when he knows the moment you sink your claws into him, he'd be a goner? Not much of a god then, is he? "Don't go." You murmur, eyes still closed and brows scrunched as you touch his wrist. He jolts slightly, but moves to pull away anyway. "I have to. I need to make your clothes." He whispers back, the sun beginning to peek in through the open window. 

Pouting, you pull him closer. "Just a little longer." "The sky's awake, angel. I have to be up." He works your fingers off his wrist, splaying your hand across his pillow. "I'm still in the room, I'm not going anywhere." This seems to be enough for you, as he grabs the robe you wore the night before and shrugs it on. He wipes at his eyes carefully, stretching before he slides off the bed. He tucks the corner of the duvet under the pillow, watching your fingers grasp at the pillowcase.

He moves around quietly, gathering the linens he'd pinned for you the night before. He sits at his desk, opening his drawer to get his glasses out and prepares needle and thread. Glancing up, he sees you pouting still, burying your face into his pillow with a sigh – and feels a twinge in his chest.

Zeroing back in, he quietly sews the linen as the sun rises slowly. You toss and turn, frustrated sounds coming from the direction of his bed enticing him to look over – but he doesn't. It's not until he accidentally pricks his finger with a pin that he notices you've gotten up and are settling on the floor next to his chair. 

"What are you doing, threadling?" He asks, almost as if he doesn't really care what you're doing. 

"Can't sleep." You mutter, reaching your fingers out to touch his ankle as you lay down, wrapping yourself like a burrito in the blanket. He peers down at you, seeing the way your fingers ghost over his skin when he sighs, pushing his chair back carefully.

"Alright, come on. Get up." 

You groan up at him, feeling him move away from your fingertips as you sit up. "What?" He doesn't respond, choosing to walk away from you and sink back into the bed. He huffs a bit, trying to hide the giddy feeling in his stomach as he sees you slowly approach. "Quickly, before I change my mind." You climb onto the bed at that, abandoning the blanket on the floor as you lay next to him, your arm loosely wrapping around his torso as he pulls the duvet over you. "Don't lay on the floor again, okay? Just ask me to come back."

"I did, you left me anyway." You murmur, a sad look etched on your brows before you sigh into his robe. He stops himself from comforting you, his fingers aching to run through your wild hair and biting back his apology. He sits silently, letting you drift back asleep holding his hip.

He doesn't like wasting the day. He knows he should pry himself away, and pull you out of bed too. He just can't bring himself to disturb your peace that way.

He gives in, his fingers gently stroking your hairline, moving stray hairs off your face. You lean into the warmth of his hand as he moves the hair off your neck, thumbing the shell of your ear carefully before clearing his throat.

"We've got a busy day, Y/N. We need to get up."

His fingers graze your neck softly, before his thumb caresses your jaw. You sigh into the air as you open your eyes, looking up at him. "It's so early." "Early bird gets the worm. You've yet to have breakfast and get dressed. Come on." He's speaking softly, his thumb now tracing circles into your soft cheeks. He can't help it, pinching the fat gently before moving away. Thankfully, you don't question his actions, just sluggishly throw the duvet off your body. He holds up the skirt from before, the ruby red material glittering in the light. "This one, yes? And the pink top? Or the white one?" "What is this, dress-up?" You yawn, and Seungkwan frowns. "Be nice, I made this for you." "Sorry, oh wisest one. Dress me like a doll." You stand and stretch your arms up, and he rolls his eyes as he carefully wraps the skirt around you, feeling your hands on his shoulders as he pins it in place. 

"Maybe I'll add a little drawstring so it's more secure, hm?" He's speaking to himself, but you nod anyway. "Arms up." He says, before tugging the soft white shirt over your head, carefully slipping your arms through. "There we go. What do you think? Pretty?" He turns you to face the mirror once more, hands on your hips as you sleepily look at yourself. You nod in silence, and he cards his fingers through your hair gently, pulling it back and pulling a piece of white ribbon out of his pocket. He ties the hair back carefully, the ribbon looped into a bow. "So it won't get in the way. Oh, and I'll get my leathersmith started on some shoes for you sometime this week. You'll just be indoors today, so don't worry about getting hurt."

You're peering at him through the mirror, your hands folded in front of you as you speak. "Why do you ask if I think the outfit is pretty?" He raises a brow, "Why the question?" "You asked if I think I look pretty. Why does it matter? It's just us." You shrug, the flowing material of the skirt flowing smoothly as you turn to face him. "And it's not like you'd tell a mortal she's pretty, would you?" Seungkwan can feel that same guttural guilt he felt earlier slowly begin to slip away. He couldn't figure you out – you could be so sweet, so flirty and pouty, and then you could be this. Defiant, bratty, argumentative.

"Can't I want to know if you feel good in what I'm making for you? Would you rather I make you wear a sack? Or walk around nude for anyone to see you?" He scoffs, seeing you smile inwardly. "Does anyone involve you?" He doesn't respond, shaking his head as he sinks into his closet.

Yeah. Anyone involves him, and probably just him.

The morning was messy.

You and Seungkwan bickered over breakfast, ending with the entire kitchen being covered in flour, spilled milk all over the floor and broken eggs across the counter. He'd pulled a recipe from his collection and said that since this was day one of you officially working under him, you'd have to learn how to cook, clean, tend to the garden, amongst other things. You didn't think a dozen biscuits would make you snap.

He'd watched you carefully the entire time, correcting you every time you were wrong with an almost hawk-like precision. It began to irritate you, so you started to make snide remarks. Something about him looking down on you, something about him not trusting you to make a stupid recipe. He'd given you a hard look and said that measuring was important, prying the wrong measuring spoon out of your hand. It took a bit more of Seungkwan saying that's wrong, wrong measurement…for you to throw an egg at him. You missed just barely, with Seungkwan grimacing as the egg splattered and slid down the wall. You mixed angrily as he watched the egg pool on the floor, before his eyes took in the mess you'd made all over the kitchen – spilling milk from him telling you that you poured too much, flour dusted all over the floor from him telling you to let the dough rest before you molded it.

It resulted in Seungkwan leaving the kitchen to collect himself, before returning to seeing you watching the dough intensely. Your impatience would be the bane of his existence.

Neither of you spoke after the portioned dough went into the oven. Jaws tense, shoulders rigid as you moved around each other to clean up. Or rather, as you cleaned up and he sliced fruit for breakfast.

It seemed that neither of you really wanted to do anything else, either, as you watched Seungkwan tinker around the garden alone. He'd said nothing about needing space, but you figured it was probably what was best – so you dragged the stepstool to his bedroom window and watched as he carefully picked flowers from the garden, your eyes drawn to the decorative patches of daisies. You felt a bit like a prisoner. Nobody had told you whether or not you were allowed to leave, or go beyond the temple. You were sure Seungkwan wouldn't force you to stay here, after all, he'd reminded you quite a bit of your free will. Free will that you can't really act on, because then you'd be invading him. It felt almost like a betrayal, the way your body responded to seeing him again. Like he'd grown more interesting to your brain, something sunken in the back of his gaze that said maybe he liked seeing you, too. It was annoying, how you felt this overwhelming need to be around him, even if you knew you just wanted to bicker and bother and nag him. You wanted him to be sorry, you wanted him to show you he was sorry for what happened between you all those years ago.

Unfortunately, you also know well enough to understand why he did it. Pride, the easiest sin of all, had marked you as its prey. And it's fine. You're fine, you think, because if Seungkwan can sin so can you.

Sighing to yourself, you've seen that the god has vanished from the garden. Your eyes gaze upon the vast garden, searching for him when you hear his light footsteps echoing in the temple. You refuse to look back, hearing him enter the bedroom as you cast your eyes to the windowsill. A butterfly rests carefully, when you hear him clear his throat.

"I'll be going into town. Don't expect me home before nightfall."

You turn quickly, your eyes wide. "Can I go, too? I don't want to be locked away here like some damsel in distress." He shakes his head, "Not tonight. I'm just meeting a friend. You can go wherever you please, but I bought something for you from an old student of mine. I'd like you to be here to receive it." 

He's rolling his sleeves up, and you see now the basket of flowers he'd been gathering placed gingerly on the vanity. "Are the flowers for her?" "Her?" He echoes, and you narrow your eyes. "It's a her, right? The friend you're meeting?"

"Jealousy isn't a good look on you, angel." He taunts, before swiping his hair back carefully. "Again, I'll be back before nightfall. Roam the gardens, meet the few neighbors we have, do as you please. Make sure you eat dinner." In a way, you feel like a neglected housewife.

"You're leaving now?" You don't mean to sound so sad, so small. So…needy.

He looks at you over his shoulder, a raised brow. "You don't want me to?"

You don't say anything, flitting your eyes to the flowers on the vanity. He sighs, walking towards you and reaching for the window shutters. He pulls them closed, "Looks like rain, anyway." "No, go. You can go, don't stay because of me." You rush out, standing quickly. He glances at you carefully, eyes narrowed. "It's Mingyu and Tzuyu, they'll understand." "Please, go. It'll do me some good to be alone with my thoughts for a while." You nearly clasp your hands together in prayer, as if begging him to leave. He's hesitant, eyes scanning your features quickly before nodding. "I'll be home soon, okay?" You nod as he inches back towards the doors, and you pull the shutters back open, letting the setting sunlight back in. He takes the basket of flowers gingerly and you retake your seat on the stool quietly, before calling out to him.

"See you later."

Seungkwan can barely hold himself up as he nears the temple. Mingyu and Tzuyu offered to drop him off after their dinner together, but he refused – insisting he needed some time to think.

Tzuyu had asked about his latest pupil – upon hearing that it was you, she nearly choked on her wine. He simply focused on his mushroom soup, insisting he didn't really care.

Mingyu hadn't bought it, and casually dropped you into conversation every chance he got. He waxed poetic about the way a mortal loves, the way they feel, the way they taste. Everything Seungkwan had been told was like a drug – and something he couldn't bring himself to indulge in any more than he already had – despite it not ever doing much for him. He had even told you so – mortal and god relationships weren't for the faint of heart, for eventually, it'd be the god left standing alone.

So, no. He wouldn't indulge – even if the god of love himself was encouraging it. 

Mingyu and Tzuyu were a special case. It wasn't everyday Seungcheol had something pull at his heartstrings, such as the love between the couple had. A love that proved imperfection could be overlooked, that Mingyu's heart sang for Tzuyu as the birds did every morning.

Seungkwan just blinked and drank his wine, keeping quiet as the trio eventually scoured the market.

He had seen a few things he thought you'd like – many a ball of yarn, skirts that wouldn't fall lower than your mid-thigh woven from dyed silk and sparkled with glued rhinestones. But one thing caught his eye most – a gold necklace with a small emerald pendant. Representing growth and renewal, the emerald mocked him. Representing you returning to the Overworld to change, and choosing to change for the better. He bought it, and shoved it in his pocket as Mingyu and Tzuyu perused new linens for their home.

Seungkwan understood that he could desire you. He could, and that it was perfectly okay to get involved with you. It was perfectly okay to explore your body, to become one with you, to let you into his heart and let you make yourself at home in it. His fear wasn't in the commitment or the fact that it was you, someone he'd hurt so long ago – but the fact that your suspicions of his imperfection would ring with truth. He knew he wasn't perfect, he knew that he had his flaws – but what kind of a god was he to admit that to a mortal? At this point, he considers admitting it to himself to be progress.

Sighing, he grabs the pillar of the temple to steady himself. He'd drunk a bit too much to stand up straight, but he was coherent enough to hear you toss and turn as he entered the sacred home. Your groan was evident, as was the thwip of his bedsheets as he quietly walked down the hall.

He tugs his shirt over his head before opening the door softly, watching as you shoot up in bed with the duvet covering your chest. 

"You're home." You breathe out, and he just nods silently, stumbling into the closet and fumbling around as he peels his clothes off. He hears the clatter of the necklace he bought on the marble tile, before looking down and picking it up. He holds it up to the moonlight, before grabbing his robe and shrugging it on, slipping the jewelry into his pocket. 

He doesn't acknowledge you as he walks to the bathroom, beelining for his toothbrush. He could bathe in the morning – he just wants to lie down next to you and breathe you in.

"How was it?" You call as he trudged back, his hands shoved in his pockets as he slightly swayed from side to side. Shrugging, "Ate. Talked to Mingyu and Tzuyu. Got a little drunk, I'm definitely going to feel it in the morning. Sorry." You smile at him, shaking your head before pulling the duvet back as he reaches the side of the bed. You're sitting with your knees to your chest, and he catches a glimpse of the skirt you were wearing earlier hung across the back of his desk chair. "Do you ever wear clothes to bed?" "Just when you make me." You shrug, and he shakes his head, biting back a smile. "I got you something." You quickly tuck your legs under yourself as you sit up, the duvet falling off your body and the moonlight illuminating your skin. He tears his eyes away, pulling his hand out of his pocket and holding up the necklace. Your hand floats to your chest, having abandoned your own necklace in the bathroom the day you arrived at the temple. It felt too heavy, then. Too synonymous with your first life.

"It represents growth. You're making a choice to grow as a person, and make better decisions. No matter the reason behind it, you're still attempting to make amends and I think that deserves a small reward." Your eyes are wide as you stare at him, his fingers carefully unclasping it and beckoning you closer. He watches as you scoot to the edge of the bed, wary of him as your knees touch his thighs. "I don't bite, you know. Not unless you want me to."

"Haha, very funny." You roll your eyes, and he raises an eyebrow before his hands ghost over your skin. His fingers carefully hold your hair out of the way as he clasps the necklace around your neck, the pendant sitting low on your chest. He fixes it, twisting it so the gem faces out. "I expect you to treasure this." You blink up at him, before wrapping your arms around him and enveloping him in a soft embrace. "Thank you." You whisper, and he feels himself tense up as you squeeze gently. His hands ghost over your back, before slightly shaky fingers touch the warmth of your skin.

"You're welcome, angel. Did you eat dinner like I said?" He asks, not having the courage to pull away from you, not when your warmth feels so…something. You nod against his chest, your cheek pressed against his skin making him feel a little hot.

"It wasn't much, I didn't like being by myself."

"I'm here now, angel. I'll take you with me next time, I promise." He reassures, feeling his stomach feel with giddiness at the thought of spending time with you around his friends. Okay, that involves admitting Mingyu was right – but he doesn't need to touch base on that just yet.

"Oh, your friend dropped by." You make no move to get out of his grasp, his fingers now subconsciously tracing circles into your lower back. "Mmh? Did you like your gift?" He'd asked Chan to source a loom for you. He knew it was something you liked, and probably something that could fill any free time that he managed to have. He knew it'd remind you of your father, too, and he wanted something to give you a sense of belonging.

"I love it. Thank you." You murmur, and he feels your lips press lightly into his chest. Warmth blooms in his cheeks as he pulls away from you, his hands sliding up your body and now resting on your shoulders. "We'll be in the garden tomorrow, so we should get some rest." You nod, laying back onto the bed, inching over to your side (that wasn't really your side, just 'yours' because you refused to sleep in your room.) He hung his robe on the bedpost, and slid under the covers, facing away from you and urging the heat in his body to go away. HIs mind doesn't get to wander much further, though, as your sigh is the last thing he hears before he hears before he feels his eyes heavy with sleep.

He could think about it tomorrow.

FIVE.

Okay. This is normal. This happens to everyone. This happens to everyone.

…He's not everyone.

He's trying to convince himself that your ass pressed against him isn't affecting him in any way, shape or form. He's trying to think of the most disgusting things to make his hardening cock go down so he doesn't wake you so lewdly. He can't even fucking move away from you, because somehow, throughout the night – you managed to get him to spoon you, and now your fingers are interlocked with his over the top of his hand.

He's literally trapped between a rock (hard boner) and a hard place (again…his boner.) He tries not to let his internal panic show as he controls his breathing, carefully trying to pull himself out of your grasp. He feels your grip tighten around his hand, and peers over to see your brows furrowed and lip jutted out in a pout.

"Stay." You murmur, obviously completely oblivious to his predicament.

"I have to get up, angel." He wiggles his fingers under yours, making you sigh discontentedly. "You said you'd stay if I asked." He did. He did say that.

"I know, angel, I know. I'll come back, I promise." He murmurs, and he sees you peel open one of your eyes and gently twist your head to look at him. Your eye scans his face, before you close it and turn back.

"If you want me to help you, I can. It doesn't have to mean anything." He chokes slightly, seeing you snuggle your face further into your pillow.

He wants to. He really, really wants you to touch him, he wants to feel you all over him. He wants to hold you close and feel everything you have to give him, taking everything you want to give him.

He feels your thumb gently stroking his knuckles, the cool metal of your ring startling before you speak softly. "It's just me. I won't hold it against you if you don't want to, or if you do. It's normal." Your reassurance isn't something he expected nor knew he needed. He clears his throat, before the warmth of your hand has moved. You're turning to face him, peering up at him with sleepy eyes. You're so beautiful.

He doesn't realize he's staring at you until he feels your nails gently raking up and down his torso. Your eyes are drinking him in carefully, before they ultimately close again and you nuzzle your nose into his neck without a word. Your fingertips graze the tip of his cock, making his hips jerk involuntarily as a whine rips through him. He hasn't been touched by anyone that isn't himself in years.

And now, it's you. Your hands, your body, you.

"Can I make you feel good? Please?" You press soft kisses into his neck, nipping lightly at his skin. He nods quickly, a muffled yes slipping past his lips as he covers his mouth with his hand. You push him onto his back gently, trailing kisses down his neck and chest as you take his weeping cock in your soft hand. You hold it as your teeth graze at any inch of skin you can reach, before looking up at him.

"I can't kiss you, right?" He can feel his heart ache at the slight…sadness? in your tone, and the way it shows in your eyes as he shakes his head no. "I…" "You what? You're sorry?" You roll your eyes, squeezing his length gently. "Don't be, gorgeous." He doesn't get a chance to respond before your tongue is on him, running carefully along the underside of his cock. He covers his mouth with his hand, a shudder running through his body as you spit in your hand, stroking him slowly and pressing kisses all over his stomach. His free hand grips the duvet, before you slot your fingers in his.

You don't look at him as you take him in your mouth, your tongue licking gently as he groans softly. His fingers squeeze around yours, and you hum to yourself as you sink further down his length, gagging around his tip as his hips buck. A whimper from his throat tears through the air as you stroke what doesn't fit, hollowing your cheeks slightly.

He's holding back noises, the room filling with the wet sound of his cock hitting the back of your throat. Soft huffs of yeah, murmurs of holy f-fuck only spur you on further, feeling his hand untangle from yours to card through your hair and move your head up and down at his leisure. His grip tightens as you swirl your tongue around his tip.

"Oh my…" He whines, and you tease your tongue down the thick vein. "Oh my…what? Oh my God?"

He scoffs at you, but his words fade on his tongue as you sink down on him again. You gag around him, pulling a throaty moan from his bitten lips as he cants into your mouth. "S-Sorry, I can st–" You groan around him, feeling his tip twitch as it touches the back of your throat again. He whimpers, his release spilling into your mouth. It's a little salty as it coats your tongue, but you slide him out with a pop. Your tongue diligently cleans the mess, overstimulating him as he squirms, pushing your head back.

You trail soft kisses up his torso, nipping at his chest before moving up his neck. You peer down at him, eyes locked with his as he blinks up at you. "All better, right?" You say gently, and feel your chest swell with pride, seeing his cheeks tinge pink as he looks away.

Shrugging, you brush his hair out of his eyes, kissing his cheeks lightly. You press a kiss to the tip of his nose, smiling as he scrunches it. Lowering your head, your teeth tug at his earlobe before you speak softly.

"Always an angel, never a god." You murmur, your lips brushing the shell of his ear as you slink off the bed. You stand up straight, stretching your arms over your head with a soft groan.

You don't see his humiliated expression, flipping your hair over your shoulder as you make your way out of the bedroom. You don't see the way he covers himself with the blanket as you turn into the bathroom, or the way he hides his face in his hands and angrily wipes at his eyes.

Always an angel, never a god.

The day went by quietly.

You bathed and made breakfast, and stayed…mostly true to your word. You didn't bring up anything that happened that morning, and Seungkwan didn't say anything about your condescending comment afterwards. He chose to spend his day in the garden, even as the rain started falling.

You watched from the doorway, holding the cloth he'd given you right after breakfast. He'd instructed you to wash the windows around the temple, and you'd done so without a fight. A part of you felt that today wasn't a day to mess with him, but you also figured that what you'd said this morning was enough to knock him off the pedestal he'd put himself on.

You felt a little guilty, but was it not the truth?

What kind of a god is he to fall prey to your temptation? What kind of a god is he to take from you what he's not willing to give, to your knowledge? What kind of god is he, to judge you for being lustful, to judge you for yearning for another's touch, when yours made him come undone?

Not a very good one, that's what. Right?

You watched him as the rain fell, the way his brows furrowed as he continued picking flowers and wrapping herbs with twine. He walked around like the rain did nothing, and you sighed inwardly. You turned on your heel, abandoning the bucket of soapy water and the cloth in lieu of entering the kitchen, rooting around for his kettle. You'd grabbed a towel earlier and draped it over the back of the dining chairs, hoping he'd come in eventually.

He'd want something warm, you think.

You busy yourself with making a warm tea, hearing Seungkwan groan as he slips his wet clothing off at the entrance. You hear the wet plop of the clothing dropping on the floor, and you hear his teeth chatter a bit as you peek your head around the corner.

His chest was blooming with evidence of your teeth on him from earlier. You feel your chest fill with heat as you notice the prominent trail of love bites down to his waist. Your eyes widen as you grab the towel, silently trekking the expanse between you and holding it out to him. He gives you a frown.

"Take it, you'll get sick." You grimace, and he ignores you as he kicks off his shoes, his fingers toying with the buckle of his belt. He pulls it through the loops, tossing it to the side when you huff, shoving the towel into his chest. "You're going to get sick!" "I don't need your help, Y/N." He shoves it back, and you scowl, the words tumbling from your lips before you can stop them.

"You didn't mind my help this morning. Take the fucking towel." His eyes narrow as he chooses to turn away, shoving his pants down his legs and kicking the soaked material out of his way. "I didn't need it then." "You're such a fucking brat, Seungkwan." You throw the towel on the ground as he pushes past you, heading towards the bathroom. You storm back into the kitchen, your brain telling you to dump out the tea.

Unfortunately, you don't quite listen to your brain very often. You pour the tea into a cup, hearing the rain slow down. Looking out the kitchen window, you see it stop entirely. You start to think the rain is symbolic of every time you have a spat with Seungkwan, and you wouldn't put it past Seungcheol to try and Pavlov that idea into your brain.

Grimacing, you stir in a spoonful of honey. The only water you hear now is that of the running faucet in the bathroom, and you felt your chest heavy as you think of Seungkwan.

How his skin felt under your bruised fingers. The way he tasted. Something soft, balanced. How he reacted and how he forced himself to hold back, how his fingers felt as they squeezed your hand for dear life.

You shake your head, biting down hard on your cheek to ground yourself. This was ridiculous. Today was only the fourth day of him…'mentoring' you. It seems that the two of you had forgotten that that was why you were sent here – to 'develop' your skills, to 'embrace' your mortality, to 'find yourself.'

Quite the contrary – it felt an awful lot like you were losing yourself in this. In him, the comfort of his bed, the warmth of his touch and attention. You weren't complaining – truthfully, it'd been a long time since you felt desired, or any sort of desire bubbling within you. There was that one time with Wonwoo six years ago, and that oddball moment with Jeonghan right after your fourth visit to the Underworld. 

This…felt different.

You felt guilty, you felt like you weren't putting your best foot forward. With Jeonghan and Wonwoo, it was something that happened in the heat of the moment. Something that was for the instantaneous satiation of both parties, and you were never one to shy away from a night of fun with anyone – including mortals. You'd had your fair share in just your first life, why would you stop now? Seungkwan…felt like something just out of your reach, as much as you hated to admit it. He felt like something you had to work towards, someone you had to prove yourself to. He held himself in a high regard, with standards that you weren't so sure you met.

But he looked at you with such an intense mix of disdain…and desire. Something that screamed he didn't want to look at you as anything more than yet another pupil, but he couldn't help his eyes from wandering. He could lie to you all he wanted, but you feel different.

Sighing, you leave the tea on the table, clasping your hands behind your back. You walk silently out of the kitchen and down the hallway, passing the bathroom just as Seungkwan opens the door. He gives you a quizzical look but you continue on anyway, making your way to your bedroom.

The place is barren aside from the bed, the lamp, a pair of nightstands and the loom you were given. The floor is colder here than the rest of the temple, and you don't know if that's on purpose or not. You flop onto the bed with a grunt, your head hitting the pillows and you stare at the ceiling.

What is the point of you being here, anyway? You and Seungkwan hardly speak. He's not teaching you anything you don't already know – even if baking a dozen biscuits isn't your strong suit, you can make a decent batch. You know how to pick pretty flowers, you know how to make tea, you can make clothes and you can certainly weave a damn good tapestry.

Why can't you just keep doing that? Why can't you just keep your word to Seungcheol and Jeonghan and stay out of Seungkwan's way? "It's because we don't trust you." You jolt out of the bed, your head just barely missing the edge of the nightstand as you fall off. You feel your shoulder hit the corner of an open drawer, drawing a loud fuck! from your lips.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" You groan from the floor, and Jeonghan just chuckles as he hops through the open window, rounding the bed to kneel beside you. You sit up, rubbing furiously at your shoulder in attempts to soothe the shooting pain. "A little bird told me you were being a bad girl, Y/N." "Oh fuck off, I was not!" Whining, you look at the already bruising skin under your shirt. You scoff, peering up at Jeonghan, who smiles down at you. "So what do you call sleeping with the enemy?" "I did not sleep with him! I merely performed a sexual act for him. God forbid I have a little fun." You scowl, and Jeonghan pinches your cheek gently. "Seungcheol is not happy about it, darling. You know the rules." "The rules were I don't challenge anyone. You never said I couldn't go down on the person holding me hostage." You say pointedly, making Jeonghan snort out a laugh. "I mean, I don't care. I get it, and I think I know you better than anyone when I say you're not interested in Seungkwan for what he can offer you, but what you can discover about him…with him." You slump against the wall, a pout on your lips when you hear a knock on the door. Jeonghan's eyes grow wide as Seungkwan edges the door open, worming his arm through and holding a plate out to you.

"Dinner." "You eat alone here?" He asks, and Seungkwan's head pokes through the crack with eyes so wide, you feared they'd pop out. "Jeonghan? What are you doing here?"

"Just reconnecting with my little troublemaker." He shrugs, pinching your cheek as you frown, shoving his hand away. Seungkwan's eyes show his conflicted feelings, and he simply steps in and slides the plate on the nightstand. "Bring the plate back to the kitchen before sundown." He spins on his heel, and leaves. The door shuts quietly behind him, and Jeonghan gives you a knowing look. You give him a sheepish smile in return, but neither of you make a move for the light dinner on the nightstand.

"You eat alone?" "No. I think…ugh." You bring your knees to your chest, burying your face into them as you groan. "I fucked up, Jeonghan." "Oh, good! The plan is working!" He cheers, before reaching for the plate on the nightstand. "Here, let's split this lovely dinner. I'm a long way from home, you know." You just groan again, and Jeonghan clicks his tongue at you. "That's the whole point of this, darling. You get knocked down a few pegs, and Seungkwan gets loosened up. Granted, neither Cheollie nor I figured you'd go this route but, whatever works." "Cheollie?" You snort, and Jeonghan shrugs. "That's my best friend, and he pays for all my fish. I can call him whatever I want." You shake your head as Jeonghan offers you a piece of bread, and you bite into it as you lean your head back against the wall. "He hates me." You mutter around the bread, and Jeonghan laughs.

"I'd argue the opposite, my dear. I think that the two of you find each other very intriguing. It's almost like two cats sizing each other up before deciding if the other is a threat. In this case, you're a small cat with a huge ego and he's a big cat with…well, a multitude of problems. You are human enough that you know how to relax, but also annoying enough to figure out what buttons to press to rile him up enough to break." "I don't think calling me annoying is helping your case here, Jeonghan." You smack his thigh, and he laughs gently. "I just think the two of you balance each other well. You're so painfully human, and so open about your flaws. Seungkwan has a hard time admitting aloud that he isn't perfect, because this lavish life we live…it weighs on him. Sometimes, I wonder if Cheollie did the right thing." "What do you mean?" You ask, taking a piece of sliced peach off the plate and peeling the skin off. Jeonghan shrugs, and speaks around a chunk of fig.

"Seungkwan is very loved, don't get me wrong. However, Seungkwan is quite literally Seungcheol's biggest headache. He came about after Cheol had yet another affair with someone aside from his ex-wife. Seungkwan cannot fathom being anything like Seungcheol in regards to his adulterous behavior and incessant need for attention, so he isolates his heart." Jeonghan turns to you, eyeing the furrow in your brow as you chew. "You bring it out of him, you know? The ability to feel more than he allows himself to. The range of emotions is much broader with you around, and we feel like it will be good for him." "You know he said he won't kiss me?" You mumble, and Joenghan leans his head on your shoulder, closing his eyes. "I know, darling. It's addicting, the kiss of a mortal. You should know better, your pretty lips are what gets you in trouble." You scoff, but sigh.

"How does he know? Has he…kissed other mortals?" You don't know you're pouting until you feel Jeonghan's thumb on your lip. "Plenty. I think…maybe there is something different about you to him. Maybe it's the guilt." "Or he's in love with me." You roll your eyes, the phrase feeling foreign on your tongue. You'd never been in love before, and to be honest, you didn't care to be. Jeonghan hums next to you, before looking up. "Maybe." There is a moment of silence before you choke out a laugh. "Yeah, right. The guy hates my guts." "He doesn't hate you, darling. He just doesn't understand you, but that's why you're here." Jeonghan shrugs, before pressing a kiss to your temple. "Be a good girl, okay? He's trying his best, just like you are." "I'll try my best, Jeonghan." You sigh, watching as the god stands, and stretches before he steps in front of the window. "And, Y/N?" "Yes, Jeonghan?" Jeonghan smiles, his maroon eyes flashing with a hint of mirth as he swings his legs over the windowsill. "Don't fall too fast." You scoff as he disappears, and look down to pick at the last piece of fruit on the plate. Half a fig.

Sighing, you pick it up and stand, walking towards the door and opening it. You slip into the hall quietly, noting the moonlight lighting the temple nicely. Walking into the kitchen, you see Seungkwan nursing a glass of wine as he sits in front of the oven.

There's yet another dimpled focaccia with halved cherry tomatoes and coarse salt baking before you. The two of you had practically inhaled the first loaf, sneaking bites throughout the last two days. He looks up as he hears you step in, lips pursed before turning back.

You sigh inwardly, shoveling the last fig you picked at into your mouth before leaving the plate in the sink. He says nothing as you slide into the seat next to him, but offers his glass. You take it silently, keeping your gaze forward.

"You don't like skin on peaches?" He asks quietly, and you press your lips into a thin line. "No. My dad always peeled them for me." "Dads…" He nods, and you glance at him. "Yeah. You're…Seungcheol's favorite, right?" "Don't." The wine bottle from behind him is brought to his lips, and you stare at your fingernails. "Don't…what? Isn't he–" "Hardly." Seungkwan mutters, and you don't press further. You know that Seungkwan doesn't resent or dislike Seungcheol, all the gods in this world seemed very close and proved it often. Seungcheol has spoken highly of Seungkwan in all the times you've ever gotten to speak to him, usually in Jeonghan's presence. Typically over a dinner before Jeonghan would send you back with Wonwoo and Cerberus.

Seungkwan sighs beside you, and you resist the urge to reach and touch him. You grip the edge of the bench, forcing yourself to stare at the bread before Seungkwan gets up, taking it out carefully with the wooden peel. He slides it onto the counter, before the fire goes out in front of you.

"It's nightfall. Off to bed." He murmurs, and you nod silently, downing the rest of the wine in the glass he gave you. He takes it, gently placing it into the sink as you stand. "Goodnight, Seungkwan." "You're sleeping in your room tonight?" He asks, eyes expectant. You clear your throat, feeling your cheeks burn as you nod. "Yes. At least, I'll try to." He hums, nodding. "Good luck, threadling. I'll see you in the morning." Pushing past you, you hear him walk briskly down the hallway, his heavy door opening and shutting before you even turn around. You let out a breath you weren't aware you were holding, running your hand through your hair as you spin on your heels, quickly walking down the hallway.

"Fuck." You mutter to yourself as you breeze past his bedroom, hearing him rustle around. You were good at many things and feared almost nothing – but you held this fear near and dear to your heart. You hated being alone, and you were scared of ending up alone forever.

You're as human as they come.

You skirt into your room, quickly closing the door behind you and closing the open shutters of your window. You light the lamp on one of the nightstands, stripping quickly before ripping your duvet off and wrapping yourself in it. Sitting on the bed, you scoot up all the way until you're practically sitting on your pillows, and bring your knees to your chest.

It's time to learn to be alone.

Seungkwan can't sleep.

He's been laying in his bed for what feels like hours, tossing and turning and staring at the ceiling. 

He sighs, knowing that your absence is taking a toll on him. He felt bad about everything that has happened throughout the day, but he can't bring himself to admit that to you. He can't bring himself to say sorry about speaking to you the way he did earlier, or making you eat alone, though it wasn't his intention. He just assumed you'd want to be alone, but his heart sank when he saw the teacup you'd left him, so warm and sweet and everything you were that he couldn't have.

Groaning, he kicks the covers off, grabbing his robe off the bedpost and wrapping it around himself. He slides out of bed, walking to his door and yanks it open, letting it go as he takes the sharp turn down the hall to your bedroom. He can see the glow from the lamp under the door, and he wonders if he should knock.

He decides against it, choosing to open it slowly. He sees you curled up against the wall, your eyes half closed when he clears his throat. You jump, eyes filled with panic when you finally see him. He bites back his laugh as you scowl, walking towards your bed. He kneels on it, tugging the corner of your duvet over your shoulder. 

"How are you holding up here?" He asks, and you frown as you turn away from him, screwing your eyes shut. "I'm fine." "You're sitting on your pillows, angel." He tuts, making you groan. "Go away, Seungkwan." "And to think I was going to ask if you wanted to move to my room." He sighs, and you peel one eye open, looking him up and down. "As if you'd spare me." "Contrary to popular belief, I was going to do so." He says pointedly, and you turn to face him. Your cheek is lined with the rough pattern on the wall, making his heart ache. He felt awful that you were forcing yourself in here, and he clicked his tongue.

"Come on. You're not faring well in here, it seems. It's only just that I spare you this one time." Rolling his eyes, he ignores your small smile. "This one time, he says. What a just and fair god." "Shut up." He stands upright, and he hears you sigh as he turns away. "I'm sorry about earlier, Seungkwan."

He stills, hearing you clear your throat. "I said one thing and did another, that wasn't fair of me. I shouldn't have said anything about what transpired this morning–" "You're a human, Y/N. I'd be foolish to fully trust your word, you know that, right?" He interrupts, and you're silent. He peers over his shoulder, seeing your eyes narrowed as you slip off the bed, keeping the duvet wrapped around you as you shove your way out of the bedroom.

He sighs, putting out your lamp before following suit. You're already in his bedroom by the time he reaches the door, and you're laying on the very edge of the bed. As far as you could be without being on the floor, and as close as you could be to another being so as to not be alone.

He shakes his head, closing the door behind him. Slipping his robe off, he slides into the bed. His stomach is far more at ease having you at arm's length, being able to just barely make out your frame from under your layered duvets.

"Goodnight, Seungkwan." You mutter, and he turns onto his side. "Goodnight, angel."

SIX.

You didn't sleep very well, you weren't going to lie to yourself.

It was like you were on the verge of falling asleep, but it just never happened. You could feel your body more sluggish than you'd felt the past few mornings. However, today, you were once more graced by Seungkwan pressed to your back. The sun wasn't up, the sky gloomy as you turned in his hold. His eyes were closed, but he was so close you could count his eyelashes. You stared at him tiredly, before you heard him speak. "You're staring awfully hard." "I can't sleep." You mutter back, and his eyes remain closed as he nods. "Mmh. Would you like to stay in the bedroom today? It smells like rain."

"You can smell rain?" You ask, and he shrugs. "Some days it's stronger than others, the smell. It's like wet Earth and whatnot." 

You nod, though he can't see you. Sighing, you close your eyes again, hoping you'll fall asleep at the proximity between you two. You weren't going to lie to yourself, he brought you a comfort you couldn't quite place. Like he could judge but he won't, like he could leave, but he won't. 

"Do you need anything to help you sleep? I know humans can be fussy if they don't get enough rest." He murmurs, and you peel open one eye to look at him. His eyes are still closed, as if he's also trying to will himself to sleep. You don't reply, hoping he'll use some stupid godly power to read your mind.

"Y/N, closed mouths don't get fed." He reminds you, and you groan. "Fine, fine. Can you just…hold me?" "Hold you?" He repeats, and you shift next to him. He sighs, before carefully draping his arm over your waist, pulling you closer into him. His fingers are cool against your back, tracing circles into your skin as you nestle into the crook of his neck. "Better?" "Mhm." You hum into his skin, before feeling his lips press to your hairline. It's quick, and so light you almost missed it. "What's that for?" "For yesterday." He mumbles back, before settling again. You brush it off, choosing to relax in his embrace as his breathing slows. He's fallen back asleep, presumably only awoken by your movement.

You must've fallen asleep as well at some point, because a crack of thunder startles you awake. Pressing a hand to your chest, you look up to see Seungkwan staring behind you, seemingly lost in thought as his fingers continue to trace shapes into your back. Your leg is now draped over his hip, and he's holding himself up on his elbow.

"Seungkwan?" His eyes dart down to you, before a look of concern takes over. "Hm? Are you okay?" "Yeah." You nod, and he gives you a curt nod back, before returning to his spacing out. You don't have it in you to tell him you're overheating, so you just settle back in. "Are you okay? What are you looking at?" 

"Nothing. I'm just waiting for you." He shrugs, and you tilt your head at him. "For what?" "You ask a lot of questions, threadling."

"You avoid them a lot."

He raises his brow at your quip, before splaying his fingers across your hip, giving it a soft squeeze. "I didn't want to disturb your rest. If I get up, you'll wake up. Then everything after is a domino effect." You stare up at him, your eyes tracing his features. Round eyes, soft lips. Lips that let painful things slip, only to be soothed by other things tumbling out. Eyes that held truths, that held fire and held want. A wanton yearning to be loved.

"You're staring, angel." "You're pretty." You shrug, and he rolls his eyes, but you don't miss the way his ears tinge pink as he sighs. "Well, you're up. Let's get a move on, the day is full of opportunity."

He looks down at you, eyes narrowing as they fall to your shoulder. You hadn't noticed the bruise that bloomed from your fall yesterday, and he moves your hair out of the way gently. His fingers grazed the welted spot, "What happened here?" "Oh, I fell off the bed when Jeonghan appeared yesterday." You look down at it, his brows furrowed. "Does it hurt?" "I'm sure it will if you press on it." You roll your eyes, and he frowns. "Why didn't you tell me?" "Why would I? You were mean to me yesterday." You scoff, making him return the noise of disdain. "You started it!" "Let's not play the blame game. Clearly one of us should be the one who leads here and you're not doing a very good job of it." Shaking your head, you hear him groan above you. 

"Fine. It wasn't my intention to treat you poorly yesterday, and I will try my best to not have it happen again. Is that what you wanted to hear?" You frown at him, your lip jutted out just slightly. "You can't just say sorry?" Your eyes lock with his for a second, scanning each other. He wants to, you can tell, he wants to apologize. He wants to make it up to you, but pride is a far stronger power than any remorse in the air. His hand gently tucks a stray curl behind your ear, fingers lingering on your cheek.

"Don't pout, it's not a good look on you." He presses his lips to your forehead, before pulling away and throwing the duvet off the both of you. You huff, watching as he slips out of bed and grabs his robe from the bedpost. He pulls it on swiftly, and you roll onto your back stretching your arms over your head before pushing the duvet further off your body. You're sure it's well past noon at this point.

You hear Seungkwan click his tongue, and you look up to see him standing at the window, leaning on the window sill. He's scanning the vast gardens, likely trying to plan for yet another day of rain. You slide out of bed, crossing your arms over your bare chest as you walk over to look with him.

"Wonder what's got Seungcheol in a mood." You murmur, seeing the flooded pond towards the edge of the garden. A frog hops into the flowers, and Seungkwan shrugs. "Sometimes he just likes to make it rain. Anything to get his name in someone's mouth." You snort, and he smiles inwardly.

"If the rain lets up this week, we can go to the market. I need to find out if my leathersmith can make shoes for you, and I don't think Chan brought the yarn for you, did he?" He peers up at you, and you sigh, shaking your head. "I don't mind waiting, though. I can find something else to do." "Like washing the windows that you forgot about yesterday?" He says pointedly, and you scoff out a laugh. "Way to be subtle." He smiles widely, reaching to wrap his arm around your waist and pull you closer. You oblige, allowing him to move you in front of him. "It's pretty, though, isn't it? The rain?" "It's dreary sometimes. I think of it more as a necessary evil." You nod, feeling his chin rest gently on your shoulder. "It brings things to life but it also drowns out any happiness I have for the day. The lack of sunshine makes me depressed." "I heard that, yeah. Something about mortals not faring well during the colder months, because there's no sun." He nods, and you feel his hands wrap around your waist, clasping together over your navel. "I assume it's just that same darkness, right? It's like, desperation." "It just makes me sad. There's a lack of life, in my opinion." You twist to look at him, seeing him close his eyes. "I agree, there's something missing when the days get shorter. I lose a lot of motivation." Your eyes widen at his admission, but you don't get a chance to expand on it before feeling his lips plant a soft kiss on your shoulder. "You should get dressed, we haven't eaten anything yet."

He makes no move to let you go, instead choosing to trail his lips along your skin before reaching the thin gold chain he'd given you a few days earlier. "Seungkwan…" "Mmh?" He tugs at it with his teeth, before nipping at your neck softly. You jolt in his hold, your skin littering with goosebumps at the contact of his teeth. Shivering, you twist further in his hold, feeling his hands move up from where they were clasped. The pads of his fingers ghost over the bottom of your breasts, and you feel your entire face heat as he speaks into your skin. "Face forward."

You huff, but move to look back out the window. Your eyes try to focus on the garden when you feel his thumbs graze your nipples, before his large hands begin palming gently. The cool metal of his jewelry against your hardened nubs makes you shiver, and you squeeze your eyes shut, taking a shaky breath.

"Sensitive here?" He breathes against your skin, pinching your nipples gently as you let out a low, choked whine. His teeth tug at your earlobe, making you jolt before you hear him speak again. "Eyes open, angel." "You're horrible." You mutter, feeling his lips curve against the shell of your ear. "I can stop." "No! Don't, please." Your head hangs a bit, burning in humiliation as a soft chuckle sounds behind you. It seems you don't know how to shut your mouth, because the words tumble out before you can stop them.

"Please touch me." "How can I deny you when you're so polite?" He's mocking you, and you feel the warmth of his right hand leave your chest, ghosting down your torso. "Where, angel? Here?" His hand rests on your stomach, making you shake your head frantically, taking his wrist in your hand and guiding him lower.

"Here." You feel almost embarrassed as you feel him rest his forehead against your shoulder, before his fingers slowly glide over your center, his middle landing a teasing tap to your clit. You jerk slightly, making him laugh behind you before he moves further, dragging his fingertips through your wet folds with ease. You feel frustration grow slightly in your belly as he teases you, before he removes his hand completely.

You scoff, about to complain when you see him hold his hand up to the light. His fingers are slick with your arousal, strings of it connecting his knuckles as he separates them.

"Would you look at that?" His tone is one full of mischief, before he brings his hand closer to your face. "Open." His forefinger taps your lip, and you instinctively stick your tongue out, sliding it between his fingers without a word. Your eyes flutter closed as you taste yourself on his skin, the mix something invigorating, your need to be touched by him only fueled by the heat of his eyes on your face.

"Dirty little thing, aren't you?" He murmurs as you run your tongue over one of his rings, before you kiss the metal. "I'll be whatever you want me to be." He doesn't respond, instead choosing to push you slightly against the windowsill, trailing his lips down your back. You lean forward, anticipation brewing in your belly when you feel him kneel behind you, before feeling his teeth sink lightly into your ass. You can't hold your groan in, or hide the way your hips push back. He lets go of the bitten flesh, opting to lick at the marks with a sigh. "So pretty when you're needy." His lips press to your skin in peppered kisses, before he gently spreads your legs a bit more. You oblige, leaning on your forearms across the windowsill and holding the outside edge. His hands circle your upper thighs, and he squeezes them gently as he presses a kiss to your clit. You sigh, trying not to push against him as his tongue darts out, slowly dragging through your folds. He gathers your arousal messily, pulling soft whines from your throat when he finally wraps his pouty lips around your clit, sucking lightly. Your head hangs low as sounds slip from your mouth, your fingertips turning white from how hard you're gripping the windowsill when he begins to shallowly thrust his tongue into your hole, his hand moving from your thigh to thumb at your clit.

A whimper of profanities jumble from your lips, grinding your hips against his face and hand as your thighs begin to tremble. Your knees buck a bit, Seungkwan's arms reflexively moving to wrap around your waist as he buries his tongue deeper into your cunt. He groans into you, arms tightening around you as your hips continue to push back onto him. He grunts, pushing you away from his tongue entirely.

"You know, you're not very nice." He begins, making you groan. "I'm–" You're cut off by the wet sound of his fingers teasing your entrance carefully. You feel his teeth sink into the flesh of your ass again, your eyes fluttering shut as he slowly slides his fingers inside you, a low groan from your throat as he speaks. 

"You're what? A brat? A pain in my ass? Sorry, for both of those things, maybe?"

You huff at his words, "I'm sorry." He hums into your skin, his eyes trained on the way your gummy walls swallow his fingers with ease, curling them as you squirm. "Sorry for what?"

His fingers brush the spongy spot, making you jolt with a high-pitched moan. "Sorry for what, angel?" He coos, carefully keeping his slow pace as he stands, lips pressed to the skin of your neck and shoulders. 

"E-Everything." You sigh, your forehead pressed against your forearm, clenching around his fingers as he bullies them into you. "Everything, she says. What's this everything, hm?" He kisses your shoulder gently, peering over your shoulder to see your eyes screwed shut. Smiling to himself, he stills his movements, hearing you groan and peel your eyes open. "What are you sorry for?" You breathe out shakily, your tongue darting out to wet your lips as he slowly starts again. "I-I'm sorry for being a brat." "Oh, are you?" He nods, watching your hips push against his hand with a smirk. "Are you sorry for being a pain in my ass, too?" "No." You blurt, shaking your head as he snorts. "At least you're honest." "I keep you on your toes, you can't punish me f-for that." Your voice is no higher than a whisper as he moves his free hand to your face, carefully swiping away the stray hair sticking to your skin. "For the record, I don't hate you." You shake your head, eyes clouded with lust as you peer at him. "You do, though." 

He doesn't reply, opting to move his hand, now rubbing soft circles into your clit. Your legs tremble slightly at the added stimulation, whines from your throat as he begins to speak. "I don't. How could I?" He knows you'll probably forget this later, so why hold back? He presses his lips to your neck, peppering kisses there as he feels your pussy start to clamp around his fingers. 

"How could I, Y/N? I think about you all the time, you know? Fuck, you're so pretty." His teeth nip at the skin, and he feels you struggle to hold yourself up as your orgasm approaches. "Could never hate you, gorgeous. So good for me, right? Just for me." You shudder as the words hit your ears, and Seungkwan takes this as an incentive to keep going. "Wouldn't be the end of the world, would it? My pretty angel, all mine? Hm?" 

Your bitten lips part in a silent sob as you nod, your orgasm coating his fingers as your head hangs low. Seungkwan's eyes close as he presses his lips to your warm skin, unintelligible whispers slipping as he carefully withdraws his hand from between your legs. You remain silent as he slips away, before feeling a warm towel between your thighs.

"Take a bath. I'll make breakfast…or lunch, I guess now." He murmurs, tossing the towel aside and gently pulling your bruised elbows from the windowsill. You nod silently as he plants a soft kiss to your temple, before quietly guiding you to the bathroom. You feel your cheeks flush as his hand brushes your hip, pulling you close when you stumble. "Sorry." You mutter, but he only shakes his head as he pushes the bathroom door open, the sun now shining through the open window as he reaches for the faucet. He turns it on, running his fingers under the water until he deems it warm enough to help you climb into the tub.

"Any particular scent?" He asks as you settle into the cold tub, and you shake your head silently. No words are exchanged as he picks out his scent, the basil leaf in the jar mocking you as he slides it onto the rim of the tub. "Call me if you need anything, alright?" Nodding, you press your lips into a thin line as he carefully swipes your hair out of your eyes. His own are conflicted, but he nods curtly and takes his leave. 

You sigh shakily, your fingers reaching for your tense thighs as you think about his words. He'd come across the past few days as someone who didn't feel the need to prove anything to you – you were a human, someone who was virtually just a speck of dust in his universe.

Your eyes burn lightly, the tears of shame slipping down your cheeks as you groan inwardly. You certainly hadn't expected him to show you any of his feelings that way, but you weren't mad at all. You just felt…a pit of despair settle into your stomach.

Feeling like Seungkwan was out of your reach…that gap should be bridged now, right? He showed you his desire, he spoke about it. So why does he feel so much further away now?

SEVEN.

The next week and a half were the most mind-boggling thing you think you've ever experienced.

The two of you did not speak of the prior events – opting to both drown them out and keep repeating the same mistakes by enticing each other. If he wasn't waking you up with his tongue circling your clit, he was grinding his clothed cock against you in the kitchen and telling you how badly you got on his nerves. If you chose to run your mouth, he'd put it to better use – whether that meant he shoved a piece of bread into it or his cock was up for whatever the stars aligned with that day.

The past two days had been touch-free; the god was bent over his desk as you got ready to leave the temple. He'd promised you a visit to the market for new shoes as well as yarn for your loom, but he was everything but ready. He didn't move as he heard you standing in the doorway of his bedroom, your wine red skirt low on your hips as you leaned on the frame.

"Seungkwan?"

"Mmh?" He hummed, not looking up as he flipped a pen through his fingers. He heard you sigh, walking up to his desk and plucking it from his fingers. "You said we'd leave by noon. It's past that." "I did say that." He nods, reaching for his pen as you hold it out of reach. "Seungkwan."

He sighs, before finally looking up at you. His eyes widen slightly, and you look at him expectantly as he stares in silence. "Are you having a stroke?" "What?" He blinks, before shaking his head. You snort, before setting the pen on the desk. "Are you having a stroke? You've been odd all day."

Has he? He thinks back – bath, breakfast, a bit of time in the garden with you while he tried to teach you how to prune the marigolds…emphasis on tried.

"No. I'm fine. You look…nice. Ready?" He clears his throat, watching as you carefully slip your hair over your shoulder. You look exactly the same as you have since you arrived, but…something feels different. You feel different.

Could explain the absolute heat in his chest when he woke up to your face these past few days. And why he couldn't bear to look at you any longer than a simple conversation, he notes, as his eyes divert back to the philosophy book on his desk.

"Well…come on? I'm hungry and the walk is long." You smile, before turning on your heel. Seungkwan takes a deep breath, before standing and trailing after you. Neither of you stop to gather any bites for the road, but he can't unglue his eyes from the soft swing of your hips. 

Get it together. He shakes it off, opting to look away as you trek down the steps of the temple. "We can get new shoes for you today, I know I said we'd touch base on that." "We did!" You stretch in the afternoon sun, the light hitting your supple skin perfectly. Skin he longs to run his fingers down, sink his teeth into, kiss raw–

"Do you think they'll have yarn like my father's?" You ask, waiting for him to catch up to you. You link your arms once he does, ignoring the way he stiffens slightly as you slip your fingers in his. "I really liked the dyed yarns we'd get from Olympus. Lydia was always very barren for wool and such." He listens to you talk about your father for a while, as he subconsciously guides the two of you through the two-hour walk to the market. Why hasn't he gotten a horse? Why is he making you walk two hours, when you could be rambling about your memories upon a noble steed? He makes it a mental note as the twinkling lights of the market come into view. You stop talking and gasp lightly, your fingers squeezing his as you look over the treetops to the gaggle of tents and life. You smile inwardly, excitedly pulling him closer as you walk quickly. His cheeks burn as you finally reach the entrance of the market, a few bystanders looking at you as your eyes widen.

"Wow. It's beautiful here." You murmur, your eyes scanning the glittering of gold jewelry at the green tent he'd bought your necklace at. He lets you pull him carefully through the sweaty bodies, your eyes wide as you take in all the colors and glitters and the way you instinctively float over to a pair of slender shoulders hunched over a tent of yarns and wool.

The vendor looked up quickly, her smile bright as she saw you scour everything excitedly. You pulled your fingers out of Seungkwan's hand, leaving the god to stand a distance behind you as you ran the pads of your fingers across all the wool she had displayed. There were beautifully dyed yarns – from deep, earthy greens to royal purples, you carefully collected a few as the vendor showed you sample after sample.

"What do you think of this one?" Your voice brought Seungkwan back to Earth, his eyes landing on a soft, ocean blue yarn dyed lightly with indigo. You bounced the material in your palms, rattling off ideas of what you could weave with it when Seungkwan interrupts you.

"Get whatever you want, threadling. I've got it." Seungkwan pats his pouch, thankful he remembered to snag it off the desk before the two of you left the temple. In the glowing twinkle lights of the market, Seungkwan can almost make out a blush on your cheeks as you quickly whip around to look back at the vendor with a shy smile.

It wasn't long before you held a bag full of yarn, Seungkwan silently digging into his pouch for gold coins to give to the vendor. He took the bag gingerly, before you absently looped your arm with his as you bid the vendor a good evening. Your fingertips were cool against his, but he welcomed it as he squeezed them gently.

Seungkwan couldn't help but admire you under the twinkling lights and low sun. Your skin glowed slightly, the bruise on your shoulder from Jeonghan's visit now yellow with time. Your white top wrapped tightly across your chest, worn sandals guiding you through the people who began to gather around the jewelry tents.

His chest feels tight at the idea of falling in love with you under this romanticized perspective.

"Did you ever come here with your father?" Seungkwan asks softly, and you frown slightly, shaking your head. "My father was much too old to make the journey here. Our markets were further south, but it was mostly fish and fruit. I often went alone to gather our weekly rations. My mother…she was good friends with Taeyeon. I'm sure you know her, right? The goddess of harvest?" Seungkwan nods, "I do. She ventures into these parts every so often."

Smiling, you slow down and lean your head on his shoulder as you walk through the dusty market. Your gaze falls upon tasty treats and wide-eyed children holding sugared apples, and you find yourself leading Seungkwan over. "Are you hungry?" "I'm alright. Would you like something?" Seungkwan shifts in your hold, watching the vendor carefully peel an orange off its pith. You nod, pointing at the scrawled menu. "Have you ever had candied orange peel?" "Have you?" He snorts, looking at the jarred delicacy. He watched as your hands ghosted over a custard sitting on a bed of ice, before the vendor stood quickly, orange in hand as she pushed her partner away from the boiling sugar above the fire. "No, but I've also never really had desserts. My father was very strict about sweet things at night." Seungkwan nods as he watches the vendor shakily shove the slices onto a wooden skewer, before carefully coating them in the hot sugar. His fingers squeeze yours as she dips them into a bucket of ice water, the sizzle of the sugar making the water pop over the edge. She holds it up and out to you, a pointed look in her eyes.

"Take it." Seungkwan encourages, and you shyly reach out for it. She gives you a napkin, before mumbling to wait a bit to eat it. Seungkwan offers her money, but she shakes her head. "I haven't seen a pair of lovers in a while, just enjoy it." Seungkwan hates the way his entire body heats at the idea of being your lover, but you're not faring much better – your smile is shy as you nod, letting your hair fall into your eyes as you look away. The tips of your ears are flushed as you ask her for a jar of the candied peels, which she simply shoves into your hand. "On the house. Or on the tent, I guess." You pull Seungkwan away with yet another thank you from your lips, when Seungkwan's eyes catch the leathersmith beginning to set up shop. "Wait, you need new shoes. Let's go this way." You oblige, allowing the god to tug you carefully. The leathersmith was an older man who had his son along as an apprentice, aiming to have the younger man take over the shop once he passed on. Seungkwan had quite the hearty relationship with the older gentleman, but often found a small taste of disdain in his mouth after speaking to his son. He was young and a bit snobby, ungrateful – a few of the traits Seungkwan deemed unattractive.

"Oh, Seungkwan! I haven't seen you in quite a while. How are you? And who is this beautiful young woman? I'm Mr. Kim." The leathersmith took his hat off quickly, offering his hand for you to shake. You did so cheerily, as the older man smiled at you.

"I'm Y/N. I'm a…pupil of Seungkwan's." You say with a bit of hesitance, but Seungkwan's fingers squeeze yours in confirmation. You were, after all…just a pupil. Someone he's not supposed to have feelings for, he reminds himself.

Mr. Kim quickly gestures to his son, who is setting up the machinery. His hands are coated in oil from it, and Seungkwan feels his stomach turn at the idea of his fingers smearing it over your skin when they measure you. He'll have to wash your feet for you when you arrive home–

No? He won't?

"This is my son, you remember him, right? Jisung, say hello." The son glances up with a look of discernment, before Seungkwan notices his eyes land on you. You've begun to nibble onto the candied orange slices, licking your lips of bits of sugar. Seungwan instinctively pulls you closer, before the leathersmith looks at the god as he speaks. "Yes, I do. How're you, Jisung? Taking well after your father, I assume?" The younger man barely acknowledges him, his eyes still on you as you glance around all the leather scraps. There are a few different patterns on the soles of pre-cut shoes, and Seungkwan feels you pull away to run your fingers through the intricate designs. Stars, small waves, dainty paisley. There is a pair with flowers that stop at the arch of the shoe, and you hold it up.

"These?" Your eyes are a little brighter as you hold the candied oranges in your teeth, tracing the pattern with your bruised fingertips. Seungkwan smiles, starting to speak when Jisung cuts him off. "You have to get fitted and come back, we can't just give you pre-made soles." Seungkwan feels his lips tug down as Jisung takes the sole from you, and you nod carefully. "You could be nicer about it, you know. I'm sure your father wouldn't appreciate you treating his prospective clients with this attitude." Mr. Kim's eyes widen as his son scoffs, a quick flush overtaking his cheeks and ears as Jisung tosses the pre-made soles back into the bucket. He clears his throat as you turn away from Jisung with a frown full of disdain, before speaking up. "I assume you are here for shoes, right? What soles did you want?"

You shake your head and shrug. "Whatever you can make for me, I'll take it. I would hate to cause you any trouble, Mr. Kim."

It's clearly a jab at his son, but if he notices, he says nothing. The older gentleman rounds the chair he's had set up and fishes through the bucket for the soles you'd had in your hand. "These, right? They're marigolds." He taps the sole with his knuckle, before patting the chair with his hand.

"Sit, I'll fit them for you. They're pre-made for a reason, emergencies. Your straps are about to fall apart, dear." He grimaces at your sandals, and you feel a soft blush coat your cheeks. "Well, they've been through a lot with me." Seungkwan watches as you carefully take Mr. Kim's hand to sit atop the lifted chair, and as he carefully takes your sandals off. Your feet are slightly swollen from the walk to the market, and he nearly misses the way Jisung takes Mr. Kim's spot in front of you. He spreads his thighs over the edge of the stool, his hand grabbing your ankle out of the stirrup and examining your foot. He grimaces as he runs his fingers over the carmine-covered toenails, carefully tugging on your toes to make your joints pop.

It all felt too intimate for Seungkwan's taste, but he tongues his cheek as Mr. Kim starts digging through his bucket of leather straps.

"Do you want braided straps? I have a few of those, I think they'd suit you." Mr. Kim speaks as Jisung runs a wet sponge down the arch of your foot, making Seungkwan grimace inwardly. Your eyes flutter closed at the cool water dripping along your skin, Jisung's hands carefully massaging the sore arch. You don't respond, so Seungkwan nods in Mr. Kim's direction with a forced smile.

"Feel good?" Jisung's voice breaks through the air, and Seungkwan doesn't like the way his stomach tightens as your nose scrunches, his thumb digging into the heel of your foot. "Feels nice, yeah. We walked the entire way here." "Did you, now?" Jisung glances over his shoulder, and it's as if the shared horse for the father-son duo picks up on his commentary, whinnying behind the tent. Seungkwan frowns, "She asked to." "So you just do whatever she wants?" Jisung asks lowly, and Mr. Kim holds up a matching pair of fishtailed straps. "Aha!" Jisung gives Seungkwan a sour look as he carefully wipes your foot of excess water and dirt, leaving the god to cross his arms over his chest while holding your bag of yarn. You're trying to focus on the candied oranges in your hand, carefully biting at the sweet flesh when Jisung swipes the wet sponge across your other foot, holding it up to his face as he examines your toes. "Walk barefoot a lot?" "Well–" "Pretty girls like you shouldn't be doing that." He tugs at your toes, popping the joints in this foot as well before squeezing gently. "What kind of a god are you, letting her walk around in old shoes? Don't you care?"

Your eyes are wide as he speaks directly to Seungkwan, who only scowls. "Isn't it inappropriate to compliment your clients? Just do what you're here to do, I can take care of her on my own." "Seems like you can't, if she's walking here and wearing old shoes." Jisung barks back, and you shift uncomfortably. Seungkwan can tell you're starting to pick up on his disdain for the younger man, who only digs his fingers into the flesh of your calf. Seungkwan doesn't respond, opting to move over to Mr. Kim, who is hunched over his workbench. He's carefully piercing the leather with a thick needle, his fingers covered in makeshift thimbles as he holds the leather in shaky hands. Seungkwan doesn't let your conversation with Jisung leave his mind as he eavesdrops, Jisung asking you where you're from and if you're single. You just answer with a disinterested tone, something that makes Seungkwan smile inwardly as Mr. Kim holds the shoe up. 

"Think they'll fit?" He asks, needle tucked between his lips as Seungkwan examines it, nodding carefully. "If they're a little big it's fine too, she's on her feet a lot." No you weren't. You hadn't done anything in the temple but lay in his bed with him and prune flowers. He stopped making you step into the kitchen, last week allowing you to simply exist within the temple and the gardens. You enjoyed dipping your feet into the pond, and grabbing the frogs in your palms as they croaked quietly.

There hadn't been a single drop of rain since he had you against the windowsill in his bedroom. Almost as though Seungcheol was listening, and eerily enough, maybe even watching. 

Seungkwan took the time to tend the garden when he wasn't riling you up in whatever form he could. He hated that he was starting to enjoy the way you poked at him, wanting to elicit a reaction out of him, yearning for the way his hands would grip you firmly if he was pushing you against any surface he could manage.

Yet, your lips still have yet to graze in the way you beg for constantly. He'll kiss you anywhere you ask, anywhere you want – but your lips remain untouched, bitten by your own teeth, glossed by your own spit and calling his name out wantonly. 

How he yearns to shut you up that way sometimes.

"How is it, having a new pupil? You haven't had one in a while." Mr. Kim asks as Seungkwan's eyes trailed the way Jisung's hands go up a little too high on your knee. You frown a bit, your lips pursed as you push it down. He apologizes swiftly, a twitch in his lip as you cross your legs at the ankle. You both continue the odd conversation, with Jisung questioning your attire. You answer that Seungkwan made it for you, and isn't it so pretty?

Jisung glances over his shoulder before scoffing out a yeah.

"It's fine. She's very smart and quick witted, and keeps me on my toes." Seungkwan nods, watching you and Jisung out of the corner of his eye. Jisung is now massaging your feet with a salve, likely one from the apothecary two tents down. It smells of eucalyptus, a scent Seungkwan noticed you avoided in the shampoo shelf – the citrus basil disappearing much faster. Your nose scrunched once more as he wrapped your feet in warm towels from a basket, before your eyes met Seungkwan's.

You blink at him, tilting your head towards Jisung before making a face of annoyance. He huffs out a small laugh, earning a smile from you as you return your attention to the younger man in front of you. You ask Jisung if he always does this for his customers, and he snorts in response as he tucks the towel corner under your ankle with a resounding no.

"She's very pretty, Seungkwan." Mr. Kim pipes up from his workbench, and Seungkwan's eyes dart to the older man. He's giving the god a pointed look, watching as Seungkwan shifts silently before letting out a sigh. "I'm not ready, Mr. Kim." "We never are, when the right one comes along." He murmurs, and he looks up to ensure you can't hear him before he proceeds. "What's stopping you? The fact that she's a human?" "Somewhat." He shrugs, opting to leave out the extensive story of your past – how he sent you to the Underworld within hours of meeting you, how you made him feel vulnerable in a way he hated. How you made him feel like putty with your hands, your mouth, your words of praise and reassurance as you trailed your lips anywhere he'd let you. 

He remembers telling you how greedy you were as he nipped at your neck three nights ago, your incessant whining for a kiss on the lips only making him slow the rut of his hips against your clothed core. Your fingers dug into his shoulders, mouthing at his jaw with whimpers from your throat as he palmed at your body beneath him. "So, so greedy. Can never just take what I give you, hm? Always want more."

"What else?" Mr. Kim asks, and Seungkwan rubs his neck lightly, a worried smile on his lips as he admits defeat. "I just know that it won't work. She's a mortal, it won't be good for either of us. One day, she'll be gone and I'll still be left here." "Isn't the purpose of life to find something that fulfills you?" Mr. Kim objects, raising his brows at the god before him. "If she makes you feel happy, and you feel fulfilled making her feel loved, cherished, whatever the case may be – shouldn't that be enough for you to take it and run like the wind? Love is something so fickle, something so hard to find yet so easy to ruin. Don't let your doubts ruin what you and Miss Y/N have. You yearn for her, Seungkwan." "I do not." He scoffs, glancing at you as Jisung removes the now cool towels, your eyes closed as he wipes away the salve that went unabsorbed. Mr. Kim only smiles in response as he hands Seungkwan the shoes, the leather warm against his fingertips. "Just think about it, Seungkwan. It can't do any harm." Except it can, he thinks.

Seungkwan is selfish. He'd always been that way – wanting only the best for himself, opting to choose the better routes, the better classes, the better books. Carefully selecting anyone and everyone he allowed into his hermit-like life, his secretive ways.

He only wanted the best, and he fears that if he doesn't figure himself out soon, you'll be the only best he sees slip through his fingers. He knows that you're good – he knows that your heart is so painfully fragile, wrapped in layers of hurt from losing your father and missing out on the last years of his life. He knows that you're trying so hard to keep up the same facade that he is – that you're stronger than you let on, that you're braver, that you're better.

He's only a god because Seungcheol said so, he's no different than you are.

He figured that a few nights ago, watching you sleep against his chest. Your cheek was squished against his shoulder, your lips glistening with a bit of drool. He wanted to kiss you so deeply then, his fingers carefully carding through your tangled hair and tugging at the necklace he'd given you. You'd stirred slightly, barely opening your eyes to peer up at him. He smiled silently, making you grunt softly before snuggling back into his skin.

It's odd, he realizes. How easily just a taste of you, just one moment of his walls being down, led from angry, bitter words to playful banter and dirty phrases whispered into sweaty skin. How in just a few days, you carefully removed layers from his guarded heart, desperately wanting to earn a spot in it. And…he just let you. He just let you call him pretty, he just let you kiss his worries away. He let you toe the line of the boundaries he'd set in place, your lips just barely hovering over his when he'd let you take the lead, your skirt bunched around your hips as you both relished in the wet sound of your cunt dragging against his bare thighs.

He just let you prove to him, over the course of a few nights, that you desired him…but deeper than anyone ever had. You cared nothing about his presence as a god, in fact, you challenged it – you poked and prodded, you pissed him off with your carefully chosen words and you mended him back together just as quickly. You jerked his emotions around, riling him up by touching him inappropriately for a pupil, but he gave in so fast. He loved it, he loved how you felt against him, he loved you.

And it pains him inside.

"Let me see the shoes." Jisung breaks Seungkwan out of his thoughts, and he reluctantly hands them over to the younger man. Seungkwan fishes in his pouch for money, placing fifteen gold coins in Mr. Kim's change cup. Ten more than the leathersmith often charged, but Seungkwan paid him no mind as he watched Jisung carefully slide the sandals over your feet. 

Too. Intimate.

He carefully wrapped the straps around your ankle, the pads of his fingers lingering before Seungkwan cleared his throat loudly. Your eyes dart to the god, who has a frown on his lips as he offers his hand for you to step off the chair. The sun was slightly lower now, meaning it would be time to start heading home soon. You take Seungkwan's hand gingerly, carefully stepping down as your other hand presses against his chest for extra support.

"How d'you feel, Miss?" Mr. Kim asks as you bounce on your toes, and you seem content as you give him a warm smile and a thumbs up. You seem happy with them, but Seungkwan doesn't miss the way your eyes trail to the worn sandals you'd previously donned. They held history, they'd taken you wherever you'd been and seen everything you had. Seungkwan understands as he gathers them in his hand carefully, holding them out to Mr. Kim. "Can you refresh these? Is that possible?" 

Your eyes grow wide before they're squished by the fat of your cheeks as you smile, now wrapping your arms around Seungkwan's as Mr. Kim nods eagerly. "Return within a fortnight, I'll have them as good as new." Seungkwan nods, before pouring a few more coins into the change cup and bidding his goodbye. Mr. Kim gives him yet another pointed look, before looking at you. His eyes speak volumes – volumes of kiss her, of hold her, of love her.

Seungkwan nods curtly, before spinning on his heel and pulling you away.

"It'll be chilly soon. Would you like to get a blanket for the walk back?" He asks quietly, and you nod eagerly. "Maybe also, something else to eat? The candied orange was good but…I'm not full yet." Seungkwan glances over at you, seeing a bit of sugar crystals gathered at the corners of your lips. He smiles to himself, wiping his thumb against the skin carefully. You look at him as he licks the sugar off the pad of his finger, an amused look in your eyes as you shake your head. "If you wanted some of it, you could've said so." Seungkwan only smiles to himself, holding you close as he pulls you behind a tent. Your eyes scan his face as he carefully moves your hair away from your face. "I'm sure you still have some left, right?" "I finished it. See?" You hold up the empty skewer, your eyes innocently scouring him as he feels his chest warm. He takes it out of your hand, tossing it into a tent's garbage bin. "But you can give me a taste anyhow, can't you?" Your eyes cast confusion until his lips ghost over yours. "Didn't like how he was touching you." He murmurs, just barely touching your skin. "M'sorry." You mumble back, nuzzling your nose against his. 

"Are you?" He asks, pulling away slightly. Your cheeks are ruddy with embarrassment under his hands, his thumbs carefully pinching the fat. Your hands rest on his chest as he carefully takes your jaw in his large hand, the cool metal of his rings against your warm skin making you jolt. "Didn't like it. Only want you to touch me like that." You admit softly, your hands bunching the fabric of his chiton under them. He smiles, "Only me?" "Only you." You nod, and he hums in response. His thumb moves to pull at your plump lower lip, and he sighs as he moves back. "Well, we should start heading back. We can make it back before sundown, and it won't be as chilly." You look disappointed as he pulls back, your hands still holding onto his chiton as he does so. Your lip is jutted out into a pout, "Come on, Seungkwan." He bites back a laugh, opting to act dumb as he turns back to you. "Come on, what, Y/N?" "Kiss me." You frown, tugging his shirt gently until he's lowered enough to touch your nose to his. He lets you pull at him, his hands snaking around your waist. "Hm? Not sure you've earned that, angel." "You're so mean." You pout, your lower lip brushing his. He nips at it quickly, tugging it between his teeth as your eyes shutter closed. "Mean? You think so?"

He doesn't let you reply, pressing his lips against yours gently. He feels you sigh into his mouth, your hands moving up to his neck, arms gingerly wrapping around his broad shoulders. His hands hold your hips, squeezing them softly as he pulls you closer to him. His tongue gently eases into your mouth, tasting the sweet tang of the orange against your teeth. Your fingers curl into the nape of his neck, licking into his mouth with precision, trying to hide your desperation as you claw at him. He pulls away carefully, his tongue swiping across his lips as your eyes open.

"Why'd you stop?" You whine, only prompting him to press one, two, three chaste kisses to your open mouth. "Because we're in public, and if you want more, we have to get home, angel." "You'll give me more?" "I'll give you whatever you want." He nods, his forehead touching yours. "Promise?" Your voice is small, but he smiles, pulling you into his chest. "I promise, angel."

The trip home was full of soft touches and his fingers pinching any skin he could manage. He pressed his lips against yours more than twice on the way there, the thick blanket he'd bought you draped carefully over your shoulders as he held your bag of yarn and candied orange peels. Your hand held a small bag of roasted chickpeas, the only other snack you bothered to pick out after Seungkwan kissed you. You suddenly weren't hungry for food, only the white-hot feeling of his lips against yours. You didn't talk as you walked home tiredly, only looked at the sky and at the straps of your new sandals.

"Let me run you a bath, angel." He offers as the temple comes into view, and you look up hesitantly. "Join me for it."

"Hmm. Maybe." He shrugs, his hand finding its way to the nape of your neck and carefully wrapping around it. It's comforting, the weight of his warmth against your skin as he pulls you closer to him. You allow it, resting your head against his shoulder as the two of you reach the steps of the temple. The wind-down is easy. It's simple, he strips you of your clothing in his bedroom as he kisses you gently, his lips sweet against yours. Soft hums of approval as he felt your hands touch him as much as he'd allow, before guiding you down to the bathroom. He lets you tug off his chiton, his pants following as he holds you flush to him as he runs his fingers under the running water. 

And, he promptly joined you in the tub. Your back was nestled closely against his chest, his fingers wrapped around your hand and lips peppering kisses to your knuckles. Your hair had long been cleaned, his shampoo wafting off you as the warm suds surrounded your naked bodies. This…you'd read about this. Lovers, so close together. Lovers, holding each other dear, cherishing each other, worshiping each other.

Seungkwan's lips against your shoulders tear you from your thoughts, making you twist your head to peer at him. You wonder what's changed between the two of you. You know Seungkwan has kissed other mortals, done things he's done with you with other mortals. Why are you any different? Why is the taste of you any different, anything more than what he's had before?

And most of all, why does it weigh on you? Who cares about the other girls, as long as you get the guy?

You huff inwardly, toying with the suds at the edge of the tub.

"Closed mouths don't get fed, Y/N." His voice rings in your ears, the low rumble startling you slightly. He gives you a pointed look, his eyes sharp as he scans your features. "Sorry. Just thinking." "About?" He questions, his arms moving to wrap around your waist beneath the water. You shake your head lightly, leaning against his clavicle with a sigh. "Just everything and nothing, all at once." He doesn't press the issue. If he senses something is wrong, he says nothing. He instead runs his hands up your torso, pads of his fingers tickling your skin. "I really enjoyed spending time with you, today." He admits softly. You feel your cheeks heat as you look back at him again.

"Really?" "Really. I know we were late, we can go back another time and go as early as you'd like." He nods, and you smile widely as you nod in excitement. He smiles, his thumb moving to stroke your cheeks gently. "Let me take you to bed, yeah? It's late, we have a lot to do tomorrow." "You always say that, then you leave me wrapped in the duvet all morning and hand-feed me breakfast." You roll your eyes, making Seungkwan snort. "I can make life a lot harder, if you'd like." 

"No, don't do that." You feign a pout as you twist in his hold, opting to straddle his lap under the warm water. He looks up at you, his hands resting on your upper thighs. "Tread lightly, angel." "I'm not doing anything." You smile down at him, opting to run your hands through his damp hair. He tongues his cheek. "You're always up to no good." "Just miss you." You murmur, pressing your forehead against his. He hums in response, pressing yet another chaste kiss to the corner of your lips. "Let me take you to bed." He repeats, voice raspier than before. You nod, before planting your lips against his without second thought. He allows it, kissing you back slowly as his arms wrap around your waist. 

"Come on." Once more, the night is smooth. You notice a few clouds gathering in the distance as Seungkwan wraps you carefully in a towel, his hands gently massaging your shoulders as the two of you trek to his bedroom. You hadn't slept in your own since that one night, with Seungkwan guiding you himself so as to not lose you in the dark.

You hated the way your stomach turned as you reached the bedroom and the clouds seemed closer, hoping it meant nothing. Hoping that you'd get to have this soft side of Seungkwan for longer, hoping that Seungcheol's mind games were just his own problems seeping through in the form of rolling thunder and bright lightning.

"Smells like rain." Seungkwan murmured as he dried your hair carefully with another towel, your eyes closed as you inhaled deeply. "It does." Neither of you say anything else as you close the window tightly, placing towels on the ground should the forthcoming rain leak through. You slide under the covers as Seungkwan lights a lamp on his desk, burning slowly before he slides in next to you. He holds you close this time, instead of leaving you at arm's length.

"Goodnight, angel." "Goodnight, Seungkwan."

You try to ignore the clap of thunder in the sky as you snuggle into his chest, your cheek once more squished against his shoulder as he presses a soft kiss to your hairline. His own heart is thundering against his chest, and you can only hope it's because he fears the same thing you do.

Fighting once the night has passed, and the rain continues to pelt the wet Earth – and your blooming relationship alongside it.

EIGHT.

It has been six days since you and Seungkwan have been intimate at all, and there has been endless rain. He hasn't spoken much to you as it is, instead finding his way outside or busying himself in his bedroom – with his door closed. Your cheeks burn in humiliation when he closes the door behind him before bed, leaving you to burn the lamps in your bedroom through all the oil they've got while you curl yourself against the sheets. He doesn't spare you these nights, leaving you to feel your eyes heavy in the mornings, often retreating back during the bright afternoons to nap.

He feels relieved when you're not around.

Your lingering touches earn his hand pushing you away, the confusion in your eyes remaining unanswered as he pushes past you in the mornings. He won't look at you, he won't kiss you, he won't speak unless you speak first. He'll slide breakfast onto your nightstand and disappear for hours once you've awoken, his shoulders hidden behind bushes of flowers and tall trees in his garden. He silently washes the dishes, bakes countless focaccia loaves, pours your wine and runs your bath water.

He didn't join you again. You bit your tongue, hoping maybe it was just some odd rut of his. He seemed lost in thought as he rearranged flowers in clay pots left behind by former pupils as gifts, but you didn't miss the way he stiffened as he heard you behind him.

"Everything okay, Seungkwan?" You questioned softly, a gentle look on your face as you peered over his shoulder. He nods quickly, clearing his throat. "Yes. Lunch is soon, so why don't you spend some time in the bedroom? Or outside? I'll–" "Come outside with me." You suggest, before scanning his posture. "You've seemed really out of it for the last few days. It's starting to worry me." "Don't worry about me. I'm just in my head about things, I've got a lot to do." He lies like a dog, and you frown inwardly before stepping forward to stand next to him. "Come with me, Seungkwan." I miss you, lingers on your tongue, but he sighs frustratedly before his hands find your bare shoulders, turning you quickly and pushing you towards the garden doors. You try not to melt into the heat of his fingers, instead shaking them off quickly as you reach the beginning of the garden. The oak trees lining the garden tower over you, and you frown as the sky turns slightly grey at your presence. The clouds begin to roll in gently, covering the sunlight as you sigh.

"Are you upset with me?" You blurt, turning to face a rather unconfident Seungkwan. His eyes widen as he shakes his head. "Not at all. Come, we can prune the tulips–" "Seungkwan, be honest with me. I don't like this." Your confession makes his eyes dart away from your face, his hands folding in front of him as he loses purpose for them. He doesn't respond, instead tilting his head in the direction of the tulips. You tongue your cheek, before you step closer to him. His breath hitches in his throat, and you don't think you'd ever seen him look this unsteady.

"What is going on?" You murmur, your hands carefully rising to hold his face. He frowns, quickly capturing your wrists as your palms cover his cheeks. "Nothing is going on, Y/N." "Where have you gone?" Your whisper is slightly broken, your eyes full of concern for the equally ruined god in front of you. His eyes tear away from yours, nibbling his lip as you raise onto your tiptoes, moving him to face you. "I thought we were making progress here." "I don't need you to make progress in anything." He says, almost too quickly for you to believe him. Definitely too quickly for you to believe him, "You don't mean that." "I do. I do mean it, Y/N. Whatever was happening here, it can't continue. I know it must've been confusing, trust me–" You frown, cutting him off abruptly. "How can I? How can I trust you, when you've done all of this? You give me everything you've got, expressing nothing short of desire for me. You touch me in ways I haven't been since my first life, even by those I've slept with in the past. You kiss me like it means something and then you abandon me, you make me sleep alone like a dog and you don't speak to me. What twisted game are you playing? Is this the just and fair god you claim to be?"

Your anger bounces right off him, his cheeks flaming red as he sighs. 

"Y/N, this is a dangerous game. It's got nothing to do with you, or how I could or could not feel about you." His hands take yours off his face, holding your wrists tightly as if he needs them to ground him. Your eyes meet as your back hits the oak tree marking the end of the marigolds – you can see him holding back feelings of desire, and you're sure yours scream the same as the words slip from your lips.

"Then kiss me like you mean it." He groans, his grip on your wrists loosening as he pulls away. "You know I can't do that, Y/N. It's not right."

"Why? Because I'm some mortal? Because I'll never satisfy you?" You wrestle your wrists out of his grasp, crossing your arms defiantly across your chest. "Y/N–"

"Why won't you let me show you that you're just like me? Because you want to keep up this façade that you're perfect? Huh? Is that it?" You push his chest lightly, watching as the sky rolls with dark clouds in the distance and water begins to pelt the two of you. "Why won't you let me in?"

"Because." His jaw is tight as he turns away, and you grab his arm so he doesn't walk away from you, his shoulders tensing at your touch. "Because what, Seungkwan? Aren't you always spewing that you're a just and fair god? Aren't you always telling me that it's your job to guide? Well, I need some guidance here! Give me something to follow! Let me help you!" He huffs inwardly, turning back sharply and pulling you to him by your shirt, his other hand pushing your now wet hair out of your face. His eyes trail your face, and he speaks quietly.

"I can't, because you won't be here someday. I'll be left to yearn for you for the rest of my miserable eternity and I can't do that to myself. I could beg and plead with anybody who'll listen to let me have you forever, but I'd be disrupting the natural order of life. I can't kiss you, now or ever again, because you'll suffer. And I think you've had enough suffering for yet another lifetime."

Your brows furrow as you lean in closer to him, feeling his fingers quickly card through your hair and pull you back, your lips just missing his. Your eyes close at the tug, the way you know his rings will snag and you'll like it. 

"You can't tell me when I've had enough." You murmur, and he folds.

His lips slot against yours in a fiery kiss, pushing you against the tree and pulling a whimper from your throat as his teeth nip at your lips. You try to keep up, his hands choosing to roam your body, grabbing at any exposed skin they can before finding the slit of your skirt. His fingers circle your thighs carefully, bearing your weight against the rough trunk of the tree and wrapping your legs around his waist. 

"This is hard for me, too." He pulls away, eyes closed as he rests his forehead against yours. "It doesn't have to be. Just let me in, I can help you." You plead with him, his shaky breath against your lips.

"I can't." His eyes close, his fingers tight around your thighs as your red skirt bunches higher. Your hands reach for his face again, thumbs carefully rubbing his cheeks as his eyes open to stare into yours. "Just trust me, Seungkwan." "It's not right, Y/N." He shakes his head, only for your words to come out with a bite. "You're selfish."

He huffs, nodding. "So what? I am, I am selfish. I can't imagine a fucking life without you tugging on my sleeve, is that what you want to hear? That I'd rather die an honest death than let you help me figure out something I should know on my own? I'm a god, for fuck's sake. I don't need your help, now or ever!"

"Then what the fuck are we doing? Why can't you just mentor me the way you were supposed to, huh? Why did you…" You trail off as you push him away from you, your lips pursed tightly as you fight off tears. Things are happening way too fast – but they started fast, anyway. Impatience usually makes things crumble like sand at your fingertips.

"Just…leave me alone. You don't need me, so I don't need you." You pinch the bridge of your nose, before pushing your wet hair off your face. "Don't walk away from me, we're not done here." His hand shoots out to wrap around your arm, his cool rings digging into your skin as you twist away from him. "Aren't we? You hurt me, Seungkwan. You're actively hurting me, by pushing me away. You don't care about anyone except yourself, because if you did, you would've never kissed me in the first place. You would've told Jeonghan no when he sent me here, you wouldn't have taken me in. You…you're selfish. You're selfish and you're a liar. And I hate that. I hate you!" You spit, angry tears streaming down your cheeks as you turn away from him.

"I'm not like you, Seungkwan. I can't just hide how I feel, not when I wear my heart on my sleeve. You can pretend all you'd like, fake it until you make it, do whatever you please." You mumble to yourself, sniffling deeply before meeting his eyes. Eyes that have glossed over with tears he won't dare let slip, but you only sigh.

"I deserve better than this." Your lip quivers as you push past him, the rain quickly drenching your top. You shiver as you walk away, wrapping your arms around yourself to create your own warmth as you hear a roll of thunder over your head. "I fucking heard you, Seungcheol. I got it." You mutter inwardly, feeling relief as the rain stops pelting your shoulders the moment you duck into the temple.

You silently walk to the bathroom, turning the faucet on for warm water to run out as you strip off your wet clothing. Your fingers fumble with the pins, holding them between your lips as you ease yourself into the filling tub, not bothering to grab for soap. You sigh as the warmth engulfs your limbs, shivering as you sink further.

Who were you kidding, really? You knew things between a god and a mortal weren't made to last. He'd said it, you'd agreed to it, you even admitted you'd rather die than become a goddess to live alongside a god who deems himself better than you. 

But, it doesn't mean you don't know that Seungkwan is far greater than you'd be, potentially ever. He held a power you'd never know anything about, this weight on his shoulders that he admitted himself to. You knew of gods who didn't care for their particular talents, gods who boasted nothing of their importance and gods who simply lacked interest in who or what they represented. You knew of gods who loved endlessly and deeply – Wonwoo and Mingyu. You knew of gods who admitted their wrongdoings – Jeonghan, Woozi, and Vernon.

You knew of gods who willingly did wrong, who willingly admitted it, who still searched and aimed for better – Seungcheol. If the god of the sky could openly spew his own faults, if the god of the sky could do as he pleases without so much as a second thought, why can't Seungkwan? Why can't you be the reason behind his loss of control, why can't he see you as something more than a mortal he's got to hold together? You're not broken, you're not ruined by anything but the way his skin feels against yours, his lips slotted perfectly into yours, him showing you that he wants nothing more but to melt into you and never stop being one.

So why suddenly switch up his act? Why stop kissing you when he's been all over you for longer than he hasn't, why pretend you're not someone he desires to hold near and dear to his heart when you both know that you were slowly, surely, chipping away at him? Because he'd be admitting imperfection.

And god forbid Boo Seungkwan admit he's not perfect.

You felt a sob in your throat, but pushed it down as you thumbed at the necklace he'd given you. Emerald, for growth. Scoffing to yourself, you peel it off, leaving it to dangle from the faucet handle as you turn away from it. The rain has stopped now, the sound of nature being overtaken by a few birds chirping in the trees and the occasional frog croaking beneath the windowsill.

The next three days were quieter than ever. 

You were locked in your bedroom, ignoring any of Seungkwan's attempts to speak to you. You let breakfast go uneaten, only sneaking out of your room when you'd see him hunched over in the garden from your window. You hid yourself away, opting to weave your fingers numb with the new yarn you hadn't used since you brought it home. 

He hadn't been home since last night, either. You didn't question anything, didn't care to. If he'd cared for you to know, he would have told you. After all, he is a just and fair god, is he not?

It's laughable.

All you could do was weave depictions of what you and Seungkwan could have been, or what you were. A large owl wearing an olive branch, a single spider perched carefully on the predator's shoulder. Unassuming, maybe hoping for the best despite expecting the worst from the bird. A twist of the neck, a bite off the head – and you'd be dead. "Would it be a painful death, at hands so soft?" You murmur to yourself, untangling the yarn from your fingers. The ocean blue was your background, the owl beige and brown with eyes of gold, the spider black with a single patch of gold on its chest. Representing what? Growth? A bruise of pain? A change of heart? You roll your shoulders back carefully, the soreness digging deep into your left cuff as you stretch. Sighing, you thread your fingers through the loom once more, your tired eyes drooping as you gingerly pull the yarn through. You felt alone, and yes, lonely alongside it all. You hadn't expected the god to weigh so heavily on you. You reminded yourself he chose that, though – he told you that he didn't need you. He doesn't need you to teach him anything. He doesn't need you at all.

Scoffing to yourself, you hear the creek of the window shutters behind you. You don't look over, only hearing the oh-so-familiar click of Jeonghan's boots on the marble tile. "Y/N." "Tsk, don't remind me that I've been a bad girl this time. Just tell me how I fucked up, yeah?" You respond with practised ease, not bothering to acknowledge him further. Jeonghan sighs, squatting next to your bent form in front of the loom. His fingers ghost over your hunched back, before they touch your skin. His fingertips are nothing like Seungkwan's – ice cold, even a bit callused. You move away.

"You never listen, do you?" He clicks his tongue, and you nibble at your lip without response. Shrugging, you try to act nonchalant when you feel his cold fingers swipe at your cheeks carefully. You look at him with a sigh, earning a pitiful look. "Don't pity me, Jeonghan." "I don't. I think you're an idiot, but I'd never pity you. You don't deserve that." He shrugs, before sighing. "Nice tapestry." "Thanks." You look at your fingers, when Jeonghan's hand moves to rest on your shoulder. "How's the shoulder doing? Still gets painful after you bury yourself in work?" He's referring to your constant whining of shoulder pain from the first time he met you. Something must've happened when you landed, because you'd been groaning about the pain for a few hours until he shoved you in front of a loom and asked you to weave it out – his way of asking you to shut the hell up. You'd woven something for him before he let you leave the Underworld, but like always – lost yourself in the task. You wove beautiful tales of fruit and love, and the tapestry hung proudly behind Jeonghan's throne. You hadn't seen it move since the second time you'd been dropped in.

"It's fine. Haven't had a chance to make myself a salve, Seungkwan won't let me fucking be. He's been gone for a night, though, so I might sneak out if he's not in upon nightfall." You mutter, thrumming your fingertips against the taut yarn. Jeonghan smiles, "Maybe you should let him make you the salve, Y/N. Let him take care of you." "I'd rather die than take his help." You scowl, crossing your arms with a wince of pain. Jeonghan rolls his eyes, resting his forehead against your bicep. "Darling, don't you think you're being too hard on him? You haven't spoken in three days." "He chose that. He basically told me I was just a game to him. How the fuck do you know that, anyway?" You move away from his touch again, only for the god's maroon eyes to swirl something dark. "Are we forgetting I assigned you here? I know everything that happens – every branch that snaps, every frog that croaks, every pretty little moan from that throat of yours. I see it all." "Creep." You stick your tongue out at him, making him stifle a grin. "He talks about you a lot when you're not in earshot. Mostly to himself, but you know." Jeonghan gestures to the air, insinuating he sees all, hears all. Every thought Seungkwan's had of you outside of his own head, Jeonghan knows about.

Meaning Seungcheol also probably knows about it.

You shrug again. "I don't care. He said what he said in front of me, and that negates anything he could've ever said behind my back. He kissed me, Jeonghan." 

"Didn't you beg him to?" He taunts, pinching your thigh playfully. You tongue your cheek, an embarrassed blush coating your skin as you nod. "I did…but I guess I got ahead of myself. No…god would ever fall in love with a mortal. Not the way a mortal would a god." Jeonghan's eyes widen at your words, taking your hands in his quickly. He squeezes them gently, "Don't say that." "Isn't it the truth? No god just falls in love with a mortal, Jeonghan. A god would be a fool to do that, even Mingyu did it by accident. He struck himself with an arrow, that love is nothing but purely coincidental. It's just held together by that, strings of coincidence." You scoff, and Jeonghan's brows furrow incredulously.

"Are you hearing yourself, darling? This isn't you." He shakes head at you, his bangs falling from the crown of Gladiolus flowers he wore religiously. You snort, tucking the stray hair under the petals quickly before sighing. "It's the truth, Jeonghan. Whether I want to believe it or not, whether I felt something for someone like Seungkwan at some point, it's the truth. It's not meant to be, so as soon as you say I can leave this place…I'm going." Your words pierce something within him, you can tell as he frowns deeply. His jaw ticks, as he mutters under his breath. You tilt your head at him, leaning closer, to hear the words spill from his lips. "You're the fool, Y/N." You frown inwardly, as Jeonghan groans in frustration. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. The two of you were on a good path. You were figuring things out, even if it was by exploring each other the way you chose to. You were intimate in ways Seungkwan hasn't been with anyone else before – he kissed you, he was letting you in. What happened?" Jeonghan paces in front of you, his hands clasped behind his back as he looked around. His lip tucked between his teeth as he nibbled lightly, your own voice tearing through the air as if to cut through any building tension.

"He just regrets it. It happens." You shrug, earning a scoff from the god in front of you. "Regrets it? Y/N, the guy was practically falling in love with you! You're smart, you're charming, you're the biggest brat I've ever met! How could he regret you, darling?" I don't know, you want to say. But a part of you doesn't want to know, either. Your eyes sting as you look away, but you close them only as you speak once more. "You're right, either way. I am the fool, Jeonghan, as are you." "Me!? I was trying to help you!" He balks, a look of incredulity in his eyes as a strong wind blows your shutters open. You jump in your seat, the tension in your shoulder making you groan as you dig your fingers into it carefully. "I know, and I appreciate it. It's just a shame it went to waste, I guess. He doesn't need me, and soon, I won't need him."

Jeonghan's jaw is tense as he stands upright, towering over you as you awkwardly adjust yourself on your stool. "Fine." "What?" You glance up at him, your hands now folded in your lap. "You can go. Whenever you're ready, you can leave the temple without another word." Jeonghan's words are anything but comforting, something you weren't used to from him. His eyes are darker than normal as he rubs at his temples, his tongue running over his lip as he sighs. "I expect you to return to Lydia and find Wonwoo. You'll room with him while you get back on your feet. I can get you an escort by tomorrow morning, if you choose to stay the night here. It smells like rain." Your brows raise at the phrase, something Jeonghan doesn't care to acknowledge. "I expect you to be on your best behavior, because we meant what we said, Y/N. No more second chances."

You blink at the god before you, who only shakes his head. "You can never say I didn't try."

Jeonghan ruffles the tendrils of your hair, carding his fingers through it before pressing a chaste kiss to your hairline. He sighs, "Good luck. You know where to find me." He spins on his heel, the soles of his shoes clicking against the marble once more as he treks the room. "Finish that tapestry before you leave. It'd do you well to leave Seungkwan a parting gift."

You don't respond as Jeonghan hops out of the window, pulling the shutters closed as he lands on the ground. 

Was it really that easy? You just get to say you're done? It's never been that easy before. Jeonghan has never let you off the hook so smoothly, much less when it's something that benefits him just as much (if not more) than it benefits you. 

You turn back to the unfinished tapestry, the yarn now tangled at your feet. You bend at the waist to pick it up, feeling your shoulder tense up as you begin undoing the knots. Soon, it's all just strings of blue and beige and brown, and your eyes feel tired as you weave into gloomy sunset.

No rain yet.

"It's certainly a pleasure to see you, Seungkwan." The younger god squirms under Seungcheol's gaze, an uncomfortable feeling settling in his stomach. He rarely visited, and if he did, it was never without good reason. Like you, he too loved to do shit he wasn't supposed to. It often landed him here, whereas most mortals landed with Jeonghan – call it father-son privileges.

"Likewise." He replies curtly, clearing his throat as he lowers himself to the chair one of the angels has brought forth for him. He sits silently, with Seungcheol simply arching his brow at him in curiosity. "What brings you here? Trouble in paradise?" Seungkwan chokes as Seungcheol smiles into his teacup. "What?" "Before there was you, there was me." Seungcheol gestures at their surroundings with his bejeweled hands, setting the teacup down before him. "You've come to ask for redemption." "I have not!" Seungkwan scoffs as the servants place a plate of sliced fruit and warmed bread in front of him, the honey wand still inside his teacup as they slide it down. Seungkwan's ears burn in embarrassment as Seungcheol folds his hands, his eyes holding the same kind of mischief they've always shown. Seungkwan grimaces at the spread of food before him, his stomach churning at the idea of you sneaking out of your bedroom tonight as well, hoping he won't be in the kitchen as you steal bites of focaccia and cheese, pieces of salmon and lamb disappearing from the counter. Pieces he's left out for you, hoping you'll take them. Even if you don't accept the silent apology behind them.

"Being a god weighs on you heavier than I've ever seen before." Seungcheol speaks softly, earning a wistful look from Seungkwan. He doesn't respond, Seungcheol running his hand through his hair as he sighs. "You know I can't do anything for you up here, right?" "I was just hoping you'd give me some peace of mind." Seungkwan's eyes flutter closed, and Seungcheol scoffs out a soft, humorless laugh. "Me? Of all people?" "Believe it or not, I do admire your insane strength sometimes. I'm sure it'd drive me mad to be in charge of everything and everyone. I can barely handle one person." Seungkwan admits quietly, making the older man smile sadly. "I wasn't always like this." "I know." Seungkwan nods, his hand moving to take the honey wand out of his cup. "I think it was you who told me that I can't be good at everything right away. I have to learn my way." "And was I wrong? Have you not become better at things?" Seungcheol's voice holds a tilted tone, strong brows pointing Seungkwan in the direction of what's needed to be said. He sighs, nodding as he brings the teacup to his lips.

"Why does it come so easily to her?" He whispers against the porcelain, and Seungcheol only shakes his head. "What comes easily to her, comes easily to you. Both good and bad, but you both choose to focus on the things you don't have. You're human that way, you know." Seungkwan's brows raise as he looks up at the older god, who stirs a bit of cream into his tea. "I know I'm not a love expert. I've done it all – adultery, multiple wives, reverse harem at one point." Seungcheol clears his throat, cheeks tinging pink as he continues. "But I know a good woman when I see one. Y/N…she gets you. She fakes you out just enough, but never takes it too far. She knocks you down a few pegs, she makes you loosen up." "I do nothing for her." Seungkwan mumbles, holding the warm tea in his hands. It's only a few shades lighter than the first cup of tea you'd ever made for him. Seungcheol hums, "I'd argue that you do a lot for her. You feed her, bathe her, clothe her." "That's my job." The younger god tries to argue, but Seungcheol shakes his head with a smile. "Your job, Seungkwan, is to guide her. You let guilt take you down a path you would've never taken in the first place, but that guilt has begun to melt away into something much deeper. You peel her peaches. You add tomatoes to the focaccia when you hate tomatoes, you pour her wine, you fit her clothes. You hold her close and you've kissed her, Seungkwan. You've let her get further and deeper than anyone ever has."

Seungkwan sits in silence, feeling his eyes sting with tears as he looks away.

"You love her." Seungcheol whispers, making Seungkwan rest his elbows on the table, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes as his shoulders shake lightly. Seungcheol reaches over, running his palm down Seungkwan's back with a gentle sigh. "You have to talk to her, Seungkwan. She figured you out faster than anyone has before. She unwrapped you from the day she got there." Seungkwan wipes at his eyes with frustration, letting a breath slip through his lips as he leans over the plate of food in front of him. He hopes you're eating something by now.

"You have to apologize, and admit your faults. You won't get through this life being so uptight about everything. They know we mess up, mortals are mortal, they're not dumb." Seungcheol rolls his eyes, earning a soft smack from Seungkwan. Wiping the younger's cheek, Seungcheol strokes the side of his head gently. "So you admit, you're looking for redemption?" Seungkwan struggles not to roll his eyes, before reluctantly nodding his head. "We can do that. Shall we?"

Seungkwan follows Seungcheol with his head low, hands clasped behind his back as the two of them make their way down the weaving halls of Seungcheol's paradise. One he'd built brick by brick, with the sweat off his brow and blood of his fingertips – housing over hundreds of gods.

Including Mingyu and his wife, Tzuyu.

Seungcheol knocks on the soft pink door, the gold knob twisting open to reveal a barely dressed Mingyu with hair stuck to his forehead. Seungcheol snorts as he pushes past, seeing Tzuyu sitting at their shared desk with a pile of books draped open in front of her. "No hello?" She calls, and Seungkwan watches as she turns in her seat.

Her outfit of a long gown and glittering sandals screams date night. Mingyu's lack thereof screams night in. A couple's quarrel, Seungkwan can tell, from the tick in her jaw and his sleepy eyes. The flowers from a few weeks ago sit in a jar, still teeming with life despite being brutally murdered by his shears.

"Hello. I've come to deliver something much more interesting than date night." Seungcheol wiggles his brows at the goddess, whose wings twitch with curiosity. "Seungkwan?" "Just trust me." The god of the sky pushes the younger one forward, and Tzuyu's eyes flash something wild as she looks over at her husband, who is now tugging a light beige chiton over his chiseled physique. "I've no reason to trust you, Seungcheol. But…I guess this is better than nothing." "Baby, I already said I was sorry. I'll make it up to you." Mingyu whines as his head gets stuck in the top of his shirt, making Seungkwan roll his eyes as he reaches over to help him. Mingyu's head pops out with a dazed look, before he shakes his head to regain his composure. The goddess before him frowns, but sighs in resignation. "What are we doing?" Seungcheol smiles, grabbing Seungkwan's shoulders and pushing him forward. "Loverboy here needs some guidance."

She quirks a brow in interest, her wings flickering behind her as she stands. The goddess flits around the duo, her manicured hands resting on her chin as her husband sits on her cushioned bench. "What are we guiding, exactly? And take your shoes off!" Seungcheol only smiles as Tzuyu forces Seungkwan to sit down, a worried look in the younger god's eyes as she hums. "This is about that pupil of yours, isn't it? Y/N, the mortal?" He nods silently, picking at his cuticles as Tzuyu gives the other gods a look of mirth. "Young love." She grins, before patting the god's shoulders. "I can fix you." "Don't. I'm fine like this." Seungkwan blurts, making Mingyu's eyes crinkle at the corners. "Yeah?" "Yeah. Can't be perfect all the time, can I?" He shivers as the words slip past his lips, and the surrounding gods only nod in agreement. "Well, let's get started." Tzuyu's voice breaks in once more, and Seungcheol steps back to allow her some more room. Seungkwan's eyes fill slightly with a bit of fear, but they close at Seungcheol's command.

Nothing but warmth can be felt around him, his chest tightening with the thought of you flooding his mind. So this is love.

It's well past nightfall as you massage your shoulder gently, your fingers not going nearly as deep as you need them to but the finished tapestry mocking you in the corner of the room. You groan in frustration, tears gathering in your waterline as you paw at yourself. You didn't manage to leave the room for dinner either, hearing Seungkwan (or…who you assumed to be Seungkwan) stumbling around in the kitchen. Truth be told, you're too much of a wimp to check. 

It didn't matter now, anyway. You'd agreed with yourself to leave the following morning, hoping for no rain. Your tapestry was large and completed, bold blues and soft beige catching the corner of your eye every way you turned. You situated your items into the bag that the yarn vendor gave you, including the blanket Seungkwan had purchased before the walk home. Your clothes were neatly rolled at the bottom, and one singular book of poems tucked under the red glitter sash you'd stolen from the god on your first few days here.

It's an odd feeling, imagining your life continuing without Seungkwan. No one to badger, no one to long for. Wonwoo would be around, but he was more your friend than anything else. Someone who took care of you as you did him, because that's what friends are for.

Jeonghan is just another god who gave you another chance. You've no friends outside the two of them, if you can even consider them to be friends. You don't know why you did it in the first place, but it makes you sick to admit that maybe, for the first time – Seungkwan's words of you not being perfect are starting to seep in deeper.

You hear a soft knock at your door, and you quickly wipe your face of any tears that would give you away as you sit up on your bed. You cross your legs over another, before clearing your throat, "Come in." Seungkwan's tired eyes peer in through the crack of the door, scanning you quickly. "Can we talk?" You don't really want to talk to him. You know that if you do, you might cry. Not that he wasn't good at making you do that anyway, but it's not like he cared. Who knows where they got 'compassionate' from, but you figure that a cruel goodbye is better than no goodbye. Nodding slowly, you watch as he slips into your bedroom, a shaky sigh from his lips as he looks at the silver tin in his hand, paired with wrapping sheets and a towel. His way of apologizing, you noticed, was this. Homemade things that would or could be of use to you, or something you might like. Like the linen he'd gotten you on your second day here with him.

"For your shoulder. It's…it's menthol and peppermint, and a little capsaicin for heat." He opens it, the muted orange salve glistening at you. You shrug, a wince crossing your face as your shoulder ticks with pain. He looks at you, and there's something in his eyes you don't recognize. You didn't really know Seungkwan, you were certain now – but his behavior seemed out of the ordinary.

"Thank you. I'd put it on, but…" You gesture at your clothing, and roll your eyes as your shoulder throbs. "You can just leave–" "I can do it for you, if you'd like." He speaks quickly, fumbling with the lid as you raise a brow at him. You recall the way he barked at you just days before, telling you he'd rather die than ever let a mortal like you help him in a time of need. The fury in his eyes when he said he didn't need you to teach him anything, and his subtle acknowledgement of that meaning he'd be depriving himself of you and your touch, your presence, your love – for the rest of your time on this Earth with him.

You click your tongue, but he rushes to sit on your bed, the wool mattress sinking below him. He adjusts himself to sit behind you, his inner thighs gently pressing against your hips. You don't say anything, simply reach for the pin that holds your top together and take it out, letting the soft cloth slip off your torso.

His hand moves your hair carefully, fingertips brushing your neck as he swoops it over. Your fingers hold it in place as you see the tin appear on his thigh, slender fingers taking a bit. "This'll be cold for a moment." The salve is cool as it touches your skin, the feeling against heat of your pained muscle making you jump. He lets out a muffled sound, his fingers softly working the salve into your skin. "Easy, don't move." He murmurs, feeling the heat of the capsaicin in his fingertips.

He's gentle and focused, and you remain rigid in front of him as thunder rolls ahead. Sighing at the sound, you peer over your injured shoulder. "Almost finished?" His eyes flicker to yours, lips pressed lightly together as he nods. You don't turn back around just yet, watching his face carefully as he continues. His free hand grabs a wrapping sheet, and he presses it firmly to your skin. 

"So it won't get on your clothes." He murmurs, and you nod, before facing out the window again. The clouds are rolling in, and you see a singular lightning bolt light up the sky. You wonder what Seungcheol could be doing now.

He wipes his fingers on a towel, tossing it into the empty dirty clothing basket behind you. Capping the tin, he uses his other hand to move your hair back. He slides the tin onto your night table, before grabbing the pin for your shirt and moving his hands to your front, gathering the fabric in his fingers and pulling it up, his knuckles lightly grazing your bare breasts. You don't react.

Neither does he.

He carefully pins your shirt back into place, adjusting the neck so it's a little loose. He doesn't move, so you speak up. "All done?"

Nothing. You feel his fingers card through your curls gently, tugging slightly. Maybe reminiscing how it felt in his hand when he kissed you in his garden for the first time. It had been just about to rain that day, too…and it did. It poured like a motherfucker. His fingers stop, instead ghosting over the slope of your neck and along the naked skin of your uninjured shoulder. He shifts behind you, and you feel his hand drop from your skin, instead feeling his forehead pressed against your body. His hair tickles, and you sigh.

"What are you doing, Seungkwan?" Your voice is gentle, it's tired. It's confused, as he breathes against you, his arms circling your torso and pulling you closer to him. Your back hits his chest, and you feel his warm lips caress your skin, heat surging your cheeks as he presses them into you. Once, twice, three times.

"I'm sorry."

You tense, his hands clutching the cloth of your shirt for dear life. "What?"

He rests his chin on your shoulder, peering up at you with the most sorrowful eyes you'd ever seen on a man, much less a god. They're glazed with unshed tears. "I'm sorry."

Here he was. The same god who insisted he'd never admit to anything, any wrong doings, especially not to a mortal. The same god who looked down on you for being so irrevocably human, the same god who watched as you did the most mundane things and wondered aloud if you needed to do those things – and insisted they were weird to him.

"You're…sorry." You repeat, and he nods slowly.

"I've been horrible to you. From the beginning, I was cold and I was indifferent and I should've welcomed you with open arms because that is what a just god would do." His voice is shaky, "I don't want to make you feel like…you're not important to me. You're so important to me and I don't want to live a life where I know I can't find my way back to you, where I have to look for you in every person I try to fill the void shaped by you."

You're silent, and he takes it as a sign to keep going.

"I need to wake up in the mornings not knowing where I start and where you end. I need to know you're not gone from my life forever if I ever wake up alone, but somewhere in this place I call home, a place I need you to call home."

A singular tear rolls down his cheek, meeting your shoulder as you keep staring.

"I need you. I'm sorry I haven't been making it seem that way, I'm sorry I lied about it. I'm sorry that I couldn't admit that I was afraid I wouldn't be enough for you. I feared that your prophecies would ring with truth and you'd leave me behind." He confesses this all in nothing higher than a whisper, tears continuing to roll down his face as he presses his cheek to your skin. You feel your chest ache something awful, before looking away. "I told Jeonghan I'd leave for Lydia in the morning. I'm going to be staying with Wonwoo." You lie easily when you're not facing him, but the weight of it all hangs heavy on your shoulders as he peers over you. "You're leaving?" The silence is deafening as you nod your head, moving away slightly from his hold. His hands fall flat against his thighs, fingers squeezing them as though to ground himself. He shifts behind you, a soft apology tumbling from his lips as he moves to climb off your bed – but you place your hand on his knee, instinctively. You sigh, patting it gently as you twist to look at him. "I'd rather a nice goodbye, Seungkwan. I don't want you to be…this. Sad, I assume." "Then don't leave." He whispers, his hands reaching for your waist. He caresses the sliver of skin softly, "Don't leave me here to miss you." "You left me, first." You shake your head, but his hands only grip onto you tighter. "And I want to prove that I deserve you, that I need you to stay. Please, please don't go." "I don't know if I can trust you to do that, Seungkwan. You…I…" You trail off as he nudges you with his nose, his lips just barely brushing the shell of your ear. 

"I know I don't deserve it, I don't deserve a chance to show you that I am deeply, irrevocably in love with you. I am truly just a man at your disposal. Please don't leave me, not now. Not ever." Your cheeks burn as he presses a chaste kiss to the lobe of your ear. His fingertips move to brush the tops of your knees, exposed by the way your skirt bunches around your thighs. You push down a shiver as he palms at your skin. "I can't get you out of my mind. Every waking moment I have is consumed by you, it's killing me inside. I can't sleep without you in my bed, I don't feel full if we're not eating together. I don't feel satisfied." "That only proves that you're a man. Because you're selfish, to the depth of you. You're a selfish, careless man who hurts people who love you." Your voice is thick with tears, an accusatory finger to his chest as you turn to face him fully. He smiles sadly, before nodding as his hand floats to tuck a stray curl behind your ear. 

"I am. I'm so insanely selfish and I only want you. I could go the rest of my life without my wisdom, my wealth, anything I could ever conjure up with all the words I know." He sighs, his knuckles pinching the fat of your cheek gently. You frown, pushing his hand away, only for his fingers to interlace with yours and pull your hand to his chest. "But you? Angel." You huff, your nose burning as you swallow your tears. "You don't get to just apologize and then we move on, Seungkwan. That's not how that works, that's not life." "Isn't it? Should I grovel at your feet? I'll do it. I'll do anything you ask of me, if it means you stay." He holds your hand tightly, rings digging into your skin as he scans your face. "I miss you, Y/N."

You close your eyes, a soft sob escaping your throat as he pulls your face to his chest. "I'm sorry, my angel. I know I've hurt you. I will never forgive myself if I let you out of my life knowing you don't see yourself how I do." You cry softly into the soft material of his chiton, his voice hushed as he rains gentle praises over the crown of your head, his lips pressing kisses gently against it. His fingers tangle in your hair, carefully undoing the knots like the day you arrived, his fingernails scraping at your skin with precision. You feel his thumb pad at your under eye, pushing your face back to press a kiss to your forehead.

"Let me prove myself to you. You can leave, if I'm not enough. I won't stop you, then and only then." His eyes hold hope as they meet yours, a shaky sigh from your lips as you look away. "What if you're not?" "Then I'll suffer. I'll suffer for the rest of eternity and I'll deal with it, I've made this bed. I'll lay in it." He holds your face carefully, before you stand from his hold. His hands fall to your hips, eyes looking up at you expectantly as you nibble on your lip. "What made you change your mind?"

He doesn't respond, only pushing you back slightly to stand before you. His hands squeeze you with anxiety, "Kissing you for the first time made me feel like I was on fire. It took everything in me not to give myself to you entirely that night. I can't lose control like that, it's terrifying." "Show me. Show me how much you care." You murmur, your fingers clutch at his shirt, "Trust me, Seungkwan." His lips are on yours before another word can slip out. It's messy, it's desperate, it screams I missed you. His arms move to embrace you fully, pulling your body to his as one of his hands snakes up to the nape of your neck. Clashes of teeth and tongue as he spins the two of you around, your knees hitting the edge of the bed as he pushes you back onto it. You peer up at him, watching the way his eyes take you in slowly.

"You're so beautiful." He murmurs, sinking to his knees on the floor. You feel his hands wrap around your ankles, and you brace yourself for him to pull you towards him – only to feel his lips pepper chaste kisses to the skin of your foot. You glance down at him, his eyes closed as he trails his lips and tongue up your calf, sinking his teeth into the soft muscle as you jerk. "Hated seeing his hands all over you. I'm still not over that." "That was over a week ago." You remind him with a soft breath, earning a scoff. "Should've never touched you in the first place. I'll fix it." He shrugs, continuing his ministrations down your plush thighs, nipping and licking with precision as your body jolts against him. He rests his cheek against your inner thigh, arms pulling you closer to his face. "Can't believe I went without you for so long. I'm sorry, my angel." He speaks to himself, bunching your skirt at your hips when you sheepishly reach for the corner, untugging it from its tucked place and tossing it over the side of the bed. 

Your thighs are spread before him, your cunt glistening with your arousal as he sighs shakily, inhaling deeply with a chaste kiss to your clit. It's almost torture, how his tongue fluidly glides through your folds like he was made to please you, to devour you in one go and enjoy it so lavishly. His eyes remain closed as he holds your hips to his face, sucking languidly at your clit as you bite back your moans, your hand holding onto his hair. 

"Let me hear you, baby. Wanna hear you." He whines, almost unable to detach himself from your sloppy cunt to speak. It's muffled as you pull on his hair, a moan from his throat vibrating against you making it all the more stimulating for your poor mind. 

"Missed you. Missed you so fucking much, my gorgeous girl." He keeps talking into your skin, lips coated in your slick as he buries his tongue impossibly deeper, rings digging into the supple flesh of your ass as you cant against his mouth, chasing the feeling of the end.

Your legs threaten to snap shut around his head as you sob out his name quietly, his hand finding yours and squeezing it as your orgasm seeps through you, coating his lips and tongue messily. "That's it, angel. Fuck, look at that, hm? So pretty for me. Just for me." "S'too m-much–" You gasp as your hips betray you, chasing after his tongue as he smiles into your skin. "Oh, but there's so much more to love, angel. You'll let me, right? You'll let me show you how much I love you, won't you?" "W-want you inside," You pout as he hovers over you, nimble fingers pulling at the pins holding your top shut. "We'll get there, I promise. I just want to kiss you right now." He pulls at the fabric, the white wrapping sheet stark against your skin as he gently removes the top you've wrapped around yourself.

"Kiss you…bite you…worship you. All for me, my girl. My angel." Seungkwan's voice is hushed against your stomach, his teeth biting at any skin you'll allow. Red marks bloom almost instantly as he whispers sweet nothings, his hands carefully holding you hostage against his warm body. "Seungkwan." You groan impatiently, feeling the rut of his hips between yours, a choked moan from his throat as his lips trail up your chest, tongue darting out to land a teasing lick to your pebbled nipple.

"Seungkwan." You sigh, his hand now pinning your unwrapped arm above your head. His tongue laps at your chest like a man starved, your head now nestled between the pillows. You can't move from his grasp, only squirming beneath him before wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him flush against your core. "Fuck me already." You wrestle your arm out of his grip, interlacing your fingers as his nose brushes yours.

"I'm nervous." He admits quietly, his eyes scouring your face for any chance of laughter. Something to humiliate him with, something to dangle over his head. Your cheeks flush softly, running your fingers through his hair as you pull him down for a kiss. "Let me help you." "Y/N–" "Please. Trust me." Your lips hardly disconnect from his, arms wrapping around his shoulders as you use your weight to flip him onto his back. He sighs as your lips drag down his jaw, eyes fluttering shut as you tug his earlobe through your teeth.

"Always so tense, hm? Just let go." You murmur, feeling his cock brush against your core. You zero in on his skin, carefully tugging his shirt over his head and reconnecting your lips. Your tongue slips through his lips, licking at his own as his hands hold your hips tightly, scared to let you go. You sigh against his lips as your hips begin to rut against him, feeling his jaw slack at the friction. "Don't worry about anything. I've got you, I promise."

He only nods in response, your hand reaching down to palm him through his pants. "Don't tease me, please." He shudders at your touch, his hips bucking into the warmth of your hand as you coo at him. "I won't, gotta get these off."

You tug his pants down quickly, his leaking cock painfully hard in your hand. He whimpers against you, eyes screwed shut as you press your thumb against his tip lightly, a gasp of please falling from his bitten lips. You throw his pants over the edge of the bed, quickly readjusting yourself over his lap as his hands find your thighs.

"Be gentle." He mumbles, tears collecting at the corners of his eyes as he remains vulnerable, your hands stroking his face softly as you kiss his nose. "I'll take good care of you, okay? We've got the rest of our lives." If you feel the jolt in his chest at your words, you say nothing. You only rock against his hard length carefully, slowly sinking down. You stop as his hands squeeze your thighs with vigor, choked whimpers from his throat as you carefully grind into his lap. "Good?" "S-so good, angel. Fuck," A few tears spill from his eyes, your lips quickly kissing them away as you sink further down, the muscled flesh of his thighs flat against your ass. "Want you to see me, Kwannie. Please." You kiss around his face, his eyes peeling open to reveal absolute floodgates of adoration.

"I love you. Please, please don't leave me." He sobs softly, making you smile against his skin. "Shh. Let me show you, yeah?" You carefully begin a rhythm, his cock stretching you just right, dragging perfectly against your gummy walls. Your noises are caught in your throat, mutters of you feel so good, oh my God…from your lips making his fingers grab at your hips tightly. His eyes are glued to your face, the way your lip is caught between your teeth as you try to hold back. Your fingers are digging into his shoulders as you feel his hands move to your breasts, carefully rolling your nipples through the pads of his fingers as you whimper.

"So beautiful." You call softly, entranced at the movement of your hips and the warmth of his hands on you, his own sight lost at the feeling of you so tight and wet and all for him. "Wanted you for so long, angel. Can never get you off my mind." He whines at your quickening movements, your hands holding his against your chest as your soft sounds fill his ears.

"Want you forever." You whisper, clenching around his length at the guttural moan from his lips. He flushes in embarrassment as you lean to speak in his ear, the wet sounds between you only making everything feel heavier. "Want you only, Seungkwan. Forever."

"I'll be better. I promise, angel, I'll be the best man I can." He nods frantically as you clench around him, a shaky moan from your lips as his thumb snakes between your legs, tracing circles onto your clit as your thighs tremble. "Want you all to myself, please. Please let me have you." You nod nervously, your fingers shaking as you sigh, your orgasm building quickly in your lower belly. "I'll give you everything, for you in return. Promise me. Tell me you're mine just as I am yours." "I promise, angel." He ruts his hips up into yours, matching your pace gently as he brings your face lower, your lips brushing barely as he speaks. "For as long as I live, I promise I'll be nothing but yours. My dying days, my worst moments, I'm yours."

Your lips connect messily, the kiss nothing but bumping of teeth as you come undone around him with a low whine, feeling his skin stick to yours. The flutter of your walls is overwhelming him, high-pitched whimpers from his throat, "B-Baby–" "I know, I know. Please, make me yours." You sob against his lips, your hips desperately canting against his as his cries hit your ears, feeling his cock twitch inside you before he finally lets go. He shudders, pulling you impossibly closer in a bruising kiss.

His hand loosely circles your neck as he holds you close, lips moving in sloppy tandem with yours as he lazily thrusts into you through his orgasm. Ignoring your soft cries of overstimulation, only whispering be mine, please against your spit-covered lips as you shake slightly in his arms.

You force yourself away from him on trembling arms, your thighs locking his hips down as he chases after your mouth. You muster a stern look, your eyes examining the vulnerable god before you — with parted splotchy lips and cheeks, teary eyes glazed over with post-orgasm sleepiness. Brows scrunched at the middle, your thumb instinctively reaching to pad out the wrinkle.

“You think way too much.” You mutter, watching his eyes go wide as his mouth begins to open to speak. You place your hand over his lips, sighing before you speak. “You think entirely too much for one person. You’re a selfish brat, you’re carrying way too much on your shoulders. You can’t save everyone, Seungkwan. Who saves you, huh?”

He doesn’t respond, only blinking up at you quietly. You give him a pointed look, making him look at your chest in defeat. His brows raise, before looking back at your eyes. “You do.”

It’s muffled, but earns a tired laugh from you anyway. “You know I can’t, right? I’m not like you.”

He tugs your hand away from his face, voice hoarse as he tries to sit up gently. He only makes it to his elbows, his fingertips brushing your knees innocently. “Goddess or not, the power you have over me is unfathomable.”

“Big words already? Already back in your head, huh?” You teasingly tap his temple, and he huffs embarrassedly. “You drive me fucking crazy, alright? Up the wall insane. Is that good enough?”

You only smile down at him, your hand cupping his face gently as you pinch his cheek. “What am I going to do with you, hm?”

“Love me.” He blurts. “Love me until you can’t anymore. Please, have that mercy upon me.”

“It won’t be easy. This…you and me.” You admit, sighing as your hands splayed across his chest. “You have to give me all of you, not just what you deem fit for my consumption. I’m a mortal, I’m not weak or dazed or whatever you may think of me. I don't care about what you are, god or mortal.”

“I don’t think that of you at all, angel.” He shakes his head quickly, but you just run your hand through his hair to stop him. "We'll get there, okay? I just…I don't know how to do this. The relationship thing, I've spent so long being a pain in Jeonghan's ass."

You earn a snort from him, his fingers tracing light circles into your knee as he shrugs in defeat. "I don't, either. There's a lot of things I don't know how to do, but I'm not worried if I'm learning next to you." He speaks softly, and you roll your eyes. "You're a sap." "You'll stay, right?" His eyes search your face with care, heart picking up its gentle pace in his chest as you smile down at him, pressing your lips to his forehead with a sigh. "Wouldn't dream of leaving."

The two of you jump at the sound of thunder rumbling, your hand flying to your chest as the shutters flew open. Seungkwan steadies you atop him, wincing at the reminder that he'd still sheathed inside you. He doesn't make an effort to move you off, only mumbling. "We're sticky." You snort, "Wanna get stickier?"

EPILOGUE.

Opening his heart to you only opened an unlimited number of doors for Seungkwan.

He noticed more about you — particularly, the way you loved him. Your fingers easily picked the cherry tomatoes off his pieces of focaccia before handing it over, your hands bared the heat of his hot tea as you stirred it. You whispered dirty words in his ears to fluster him, your hands snaking around his body without hesitation. Every surface in your shared home was christened with you in whatever position imaginable, crumbled whines of how much you loved him falling from your lips as he worked tirelessly to please you.

He noticed the way you’d silently take the lead if something became too overwhelming for him, something he’d yet to figure out on his own. You’d take shears from his hands in the garden, you’d put a pretty spring of lavender over his ear at the slightest sound of a discouraged grunt. You’d kiss his temple, his cheek, his nose, lips with such gentle fervor, he’d feel himself melt away.

Much like he is in this moment, seeing you holding a skewer with candied orange slices. Your lips are slightly coated in sugar crystals, your hand growing weak from gripping the thin stick so tightly. He walks over silently, his fingers prying it from your grasp as you stop talking to Mingyu to acknowledge him with a gentle smile.

“I’ve got it.”

He only takes the skewer, rolling his eyes. “I’ve got you. Just let me.”

“This is a beautiful look on you, Seungkwan. So young and in love.” Mingyu’s voice is full of teasing, earning a scowl from the younger god — one that gets pinched away by your fingers on his cheek. “Stop that.”

Seungkwan’s eyes fall to you, your relaxed shoulders surrounded by everyone you’ve only ever heard of — and stories you’ve only told, never known. You’re covered by the tapestry you’d made for him, the large owl on display across your back as a matching blue hood covers your hair carefully. You’d been far too proud of it to only display it in the temple — and you’d been right to do so, you’d only received compliments since, from gods and mortals alike.

Your posture only proved how little everyone's power affected you. You cared nothing of their advantages, their own hubris, nothing – you spoke to everyone the same way. You smiled mischievously, you nibbled on the inside of your cheek when deep in thought. You nodded along to deeper stories of woe and war, and held your wine glass close to your chest when offered more.

Your eyes would look for him in the crowds of gods, looking for the bright green wreath he donned regularly amongst his peers. He'd meet them every so often, a soft look of concern on his face as you simply smiled and turned back to your conversation. You'd find him for comfort, for strength, for someone to hold your drink if your wrist got tired. You stood in front of everyone with a brave smile, but he knew that deep down, you'd be once more leaving everything you'd known life to be – this time, for him. To be by his side, as an eternal being he can love and worship and tend to. A goddess of his very own, one that no one has to understand but him – and he selfishly hopes no one ever does decipher the intricate ways of your heart, the weaves of your fingers and stories of your mind.

So sure, it might not be the best thing ever. It might be an admittance of imperfection, it might be lack of common sense for a god so skilled to fall straight into the sticky web of a lying, deceiving mortal. A mortal who has pushed and pulled him back and forth, a mortal who has shown him pure and unadulterated appreciation despite knowing that their past is one of the rockiest starts to a love story ever possibly written. A mortal who is now knelt before his fellow gods, Seungcheol's hand hovering over your head as he gently allows yet another disturbance of natural order – yet another mortal, who fell for a god, and a god who lost his first fight to love.

"Hey." You murmur, weaving through a few people to reach him. He looks up, eyes wide as you untuck your hair from the cloak. In your hand is the singular crown of marigolds Seungcheol had given you, something that Seungkwan brought forth when you made the trip to see the god of the sky. Seungcheol welcomed you into his home with a warm smile, giving Seungkwan a wink as the two of you left everyone in awe.

"Hey, you." He nods, setting down his glass of wine on the bar. Your candied orange is still in his other hand, and you happily take it back, sinking your teeth into the crumbly sugar. "Drinking all by yourself, handsome?" "You don't have to keep flirting with me, you know. I'm already a mess." He rolls his eyes, but you only coo at the tinge of pink in his ears. "But I do, my love. It keeps our love alive." You gesture methodically to the air around you, making him laugh.

"How are you feeling? I don't know the mortal-to-goddess route." He snakes his arms around your waist, earning a whistle from Mingyu across the room. He childishly sticks his tongue out at him, making you smile. "Mmh. I feel the same, I think. Just a little bit of pressure." "Comes with the job, I fear." He nods, plucking the marigold crown from your fingers. "You need to wear this, pretty." He jostles it gently, blooming the petals further with his fingertips. You bow your head slightly, and he places it carefully atop your hair.

"I love you." He murmurs, tucking a loose strand of your hair over your ear. You only smile in return, pressing a sugary kiss to the side of his lips. "As endlessly as I love you?" "Probably more. I would die without you." He nods quickly, pressing his lips to your cheek. "Can't have that, can we?"

So much for unforgiven.

haologram © 2024 || no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

[baekhyunsbestie]

⠀ ALL MY WORKS ARE NSFW

⠀AND FOR 18+ READERS ONLY

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now, for my ADULT besties, please feel free to continue!!🫡 just make sure to check out the content warnings and summaries first, as there could be potential triggers.

˗ˏˋ and please remember that YOU are in full control of your online experience!! so if you choose to explore my blog, browse through my fics, and click that "keep reading" button, know that it’s totally on you and your choice! ˎˊ˗

but i’m so glad you’re here and i hope you enjoy all the smut!! happy reading and be safe out there, lovies!! ଘ(ᵕ˵ ૩ᵕ)━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

⠀⠀ ⠀⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ series .ᐟ

sparks and vows (ongoing)┊current wc: 18k+

⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. baekhyunx f!reader, romance, wedding!au, angst, fluff, exos and oc’s, pussy whipped!baek, ex-playboy!baek, ceo nepo baby!reader, smut probs every chapter ngl, p in v, oral (both f+m receiving), fingering (f receiving), slight exhibitionism, language, scenes with alcohol +/or smoking, pretty tame tho tbh!!!

ALL MINE! ┊ wc: 8.5k

⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. baekhyun x f!reader. no specified age, but i'd say they're somewhere in their early-to-mid 20’s cus i can only imagine people w/o fully developed frontal lobes behaving this way, respectfully 😭🙂‍↕️ bff's to fwb's to bff's again to strangers to lovers. fluff, angst, and it ain’t a baekhyunsbestie fic if it don’t got some good ol’ nasty smuuuttttt. pet names, praise kink, cheating, unprotected sex, p in v, creampie after creampie after creampie (baekhyun deffo has breeder balls, don’t @ me), overstimulation (both f + m). you both are just two big meanie idiots who are in love with each other.

easy peasy┊wc: 4.6k

⟢ prequel to all mine :') ⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. baekhyun x f!reader. scenes with weed + alcohol, mutual pining, friends to fwb, pet names, lots of swearing. SMUT!!! porn w plot literally, masturbation (both m + f), oral (f!receiving), unprotected sex, praise, p in v. baekhyun is pretty obsessive in this.

hopelessly devoted to you┊current wc: 1.2k

⟢ an ex-husband!baekhyun x ex-wife!reader series ⟢ content: SFW (for now), angst, longing, yearning. divorce. explicit language. pet names. jealous baek.

LOVERBOY┊current wc: 1.5k

⟢ a fratboy!baekhyun x f!reader series ⟢ content: rated E for everybody........for now :)

⠀⠀ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ONE-SHOTS .ᐟ

home┊wc: 4.4k

⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. baekhyunx f!reader, established relationship, pet names, language, baekhyun’s a lil yandere and pussy-whipped (i mean ofc i cant imagine him any other way), a REAL EATER iykwim, v v v intimate, fluffyyyyy. reader and baek take a huge step in their relationship <3

do you like scary movies?┊wc: 5.3k+

⟢ ib: this anon (๑ > ᴗ < ๑) ⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. language, ghostface!baekhyun x f!reader--baekhyun is a psychologist and reader is a bakery owner, no ages specified, but i was thinking mid-late twenties!! they're also next-door neighbors 🙂‍↕️ hehe

the boy is mine ┊wc: 1.9k+

⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. established relationship, language, pet names, unprotected sex, p in v, creampie

god is a woman┊wc: 5.6k

⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. baekhyun x f!reader. you’re a milf, baekhyun’s a dilf, and he calls you “ma” + “mama” :’), married!au, new parents, slice of life, angst + fluff, pet names, body worship, breastfeeding kink, fingering + oral + overstim (f! receiving), unprotected sex, p in v, breeding kink, and a whole lot of baekhyun talking you through it 😮‍💨 phhheeeeewwwww

been away┊wc: 1.3k

⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. facetime sex w/ baekhyun x f!reader. ⟢ BONUS 🤭

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⟢ requested by this lovely anonie <3 :') ty baby! ⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. pediatrician!baekhyun x f!reader. chanyeol x f!reader. baekhyun x f!oc. lovers to strangers to co-parents to lovers again. angst, slow burn, fluffy, then we get reaaaallll smutty ⟡ pet names, praise kink, body worship, unprotected sex, p in v, bulge kink, creampie, slight breeding kink (y'all should know me by now 🤟🏼😣) ⟡

choose┊wc: 22.5k

⟢ an arranged marriage au req’d by this qt anonie <3 :’) ty lovie! ⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. baekhyun x f!reader. baekhyun x f!oc. sehun x f!reader. arranged marriage au. strangers to friends to lovers. the trifecta: angst, fluff, smut ⟡ alcohol consumption, explicit language, jealousy on both sides, solo masturbation (baek), pet names, praise kink, body worship, oral (f!receiving), unprotected sex, p in v, breeding kink, creampie ⟡

CHILL BABY┊wc: 19.3k

⟢ a continuation of this :') switched up on the setting but the plot’s still p much the same hehe <333 ⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. baekhyun x f!reader. jongin x f!reader. mentions of other exos. jealous!baekhyun. corporate!au. enemies to lovers. fake dating. ⟡ fluff & smut ⟡ alcohol consumption, explicit language, pet names, praise kink, body worship, oral (f!receiving), unprotected sex, p in v, creampie ⟡ 

⠀⠀ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ misc .ᐟ

ᡣ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶𐭩 drabbles, thirsts + headcanons can be found here!!!!

TOUCH IT!┊wc: 955

⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. baekhyun and those damn fingers x f!reader

WAKE UP┊wc: 764

⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. f!reader waking baekhyun up w/ her mouth, language, pet names, somnophilia, oral (m receiving)

BACKhyun┊wc: 422

⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. baekhyun and his back 😵‍💫 x f!reader

muse┊wc: 958

⟢ content: no warnings (ikr who am i). suuuuper soft n fluffy! baekhyun is a landscape photographer and f!reader is his muse :')

DROWN┊wc: 2.5k+

⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. baekhyun's lips x f!reader.

raw┊wc: 450

⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. baekhyun x f!reader's "first time" lmfao

boy dad!baekhyun┊wc: 433

⟢ content: no warnings <3 just baekhyun as a boy dad

girl dad!baekhyun:┊wc: 434

⟢ content: no warnings <3 just baekhyun as a girl dad

hair┊wc: 186

⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. baekhyun x f!reader. hair pulling, oral (f!receiving)

picture you┊wc: 1.6k+

⟢ content: SMUT. 18+/MDNI. baekhyun x f!reader. baekhyun calls you when he’s going through his hidden folder on his photos app 🤭

©️ BAEKHYUNSBESTIE