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80s4life · 3 years

Text

Old Habits Die Hard

Word Count: 2,678

Status: Suggested!

Ask: Hiii i hope you are doing well ! I wanted to request a lil oneshot/imagine with eric coulter x reader . Where its like a old flame type deal , the reader is amity born and when they were teens they met and fell in love , but they grew apart since they were in different factions , butttt they both chose dauntless on their ceremony day and met again

@: a lovely anon!

A/N: I absolutely love the amity x dauntless dynamic! It’s so night and day but so full of passion and protection that the opposites crave!

Side-Note: Somehow, I read this differently and made them both come from Amity (I know Eric was a transfer from Eurodite) and I apologize if it wasn’t what you were looking for!

Fandom: Divergent

Relationship: Eric Coulter x Reader

Summary: You thought you knew him, maybe in another life. You thought there was nothing that could tear you apart. But, as years go by and growing ensues, time takes a toll on not only him, but you as well. You thought this was what you wanted, yet now that you’ve come to see him after all this time, the spark just isn’t the same.

Warnings: language, a little angst, sexual thoughts (briefly), FLUFF

Masterlist Divergent Masterlist

Taglist: @snapessecretdiary @tangledcopperstrands

{I do not own this gif, credits go to -> @radioactive-creative-bug}

Silence. Stone cold, stifling, intense silence is what you’re met with after looking up from across the training gym. There he was; you almost wanted to scream. After all this time, he was hidden in the depths of an underground hole. After all the heartbreak and the lies, he stood proud and confident. It left a bad taste in your mouth and an empty feeling in the pit of your stomach. He wasn’t like this. This wasn’t your Eric...

“Whatever happens...” he starts, eyes glazing over the rainbow flow of the ever running lake.

“Whatever happens would be of your volition and what’s right for you,” you state as calmly and empathetic as you could muster, more so trying to soothe yourself.

“Yeah,” he still doesn’t meet your eyes. It hurts. Everything hurts.

“Eric,” you finally look at him, unraveling your arms to delicately place your hands on his cheeks, “If the future has us in our cards, we will be together again. If we aren’t, time will heal us and show us a new way. For now, I want you to know that I love you,” you start to bubble up, the tears, pressure, and fear threatening to break through and wrack your body in sobs.

“I love you, too,” Eric cries, unable to look you in the eyes at all, falling to his knees and placing his head into your gut, tears staining your shirt.

Your facade breaks the moment he hit his knees, urging you to pull him into you further, hands sprawled across his head and hair. You pull him up, wrapping your arms around his armpit and resting your hand on the base of his neck, other hand coming to stay on the back of his head.

He buries his face in the crook of his neck, breathing in your scent that he’s promise to remember for eternity. He locks his arms firmly around your waist, even with the height difference. “I just don’t want this to hurt what we have.”

You knew either way that him leaving would affect everything. He was your brother, the boy next door. The cheeky kid with a side that could brighten your day, and a sensitive side that would keep you calm and give you someone to talk to. No...He was more than that. He was your lover, your best friend, your everything. “Everything that is broken can be fixed,” you look up, a teary smile on your face.

Your positivity doesn’t last long, however, as the last bits of the sunset disappear and darken, you start to feel just as hollow, cold, and dark as the sheets of stars cascade along the sky. Looking down at your hands, you tug at the tiny scrap of metal you’d found years ago in the junkyard. Almost guiltily, you pull it off, and outstretch your hand, palm up with the ring in your hand.

“No. No, please, Y/N/N. Keep it as a memory. A token. Something. Just. Keep. It,” Eric begs, his ring still wrapped coolly around his finger. “I-I just want you to have something to get by, or, to just- I don’t know.”

You simply nod, placing the ring back in its rightful place, nodding to him with a forced smile. As your emotions start to get the best of you, the sudden need to flee hit you hard, not wanting your last memory to be a sad goodbye or a full-faced lie. It already was. Every time he opened his mouth, more and more empty promises were being thrown with no one to catch them and make them a reality. Only he could do that.

A single stray tear falls from your left eye as you look at the 16-year-old-boy. “Goodbye Eric,” you whisper, taking off along the dirt path in which you came, eventually leading through the secret trail within the wheat fields, coming up to the pebbled walkway that leads to the nice cabins, quickly finding yours and running upstairs to your room.

That night, you’d cried until your eyes burned red and no more tears were even able to be forced. It was dark and lonely, finally sharing the room with only yourself; your late-night visitor had no longer snuck his way up the stairs with the secret knock that made your heart race and the inevitable way your body shook with excited jitters.

That morning, as the shy sun peeked through the covers of the tall trees, you awoke with crusty, swollen eyes that just served as a reminder of what was to come today. And, only once you turned your head to check your clock, did the sentiment that couldn’t fit around your fingers sparkle in the orange haze. You wanted to curse at everything that existed, but this was life.

Your mother and sister turned up around the time you’d finally forced yourself to sit up and go through with what you needed to to make the pain swing by faster. Sadly, they helped you up, got you changed, fixed up your eyes the best they could, and sent you on your way with them holding either one of your hands. They knew what you had, they knew what you saw, they knew everything.

Sitting up in the back was the biggest regret, having the best view in the room. Just a little ways down, you could spot his unmistakably blonde locks, his long hair being a nice contrast to the rest of the young and old Amity residents. He never looked at you, never smiled, never fully explained.

All he had done was sit and stare, and the time passed with ease. Due to the hierarchy of the alphabet, he was called rather quickly, still not taking the chance to look up. Not once. Even as he carves a wound into both his hand and your heart, he doesn’t give you the satisfaction of a look, quickly dropping his blood onto the Dauntless coals, bandaging the cut, and walking away to join his new faction...

That was 2 years ago, and as far as you were concerned, you were a woman of free choice and no longer the child Eric Coulter allowed to be swayed whatever direction he preferred, when he preferred it. You knew where you wanted to go, who you wanted to be - you knew everything there was to yourself. You were Dauntless, but not only that, you were going to stay Dauntless for the rest of your life, no matter the price. No matter whether Eric was there or not, if he still loved you or not.

On Choosing Day, you kissed your family goodbye, their wishes dear and supportive of your obvious choice. When your name was called, they smiled. When you finally cut your hand and bid your ado for the rest of your life, you gave them air kisses with an excited giggle. You would see them on Visiting Day.

...

Now, standing over the ledge of a Dauntless building, you want to curse the far different but still very recognizable face that tries to mask his guilt and acknowledgment of your daring presence.

Eric was no longer a lean, skinny-bodied boy with spaghetti arms...No, he was a built mountain of a man that had piercings on his eyebrows and ears that made you question where else he had them hiding. Not to mention the tattoos that decorated almost all of his skin besides his face, which was chiseled to perfection with ice cold, striking blue eyes. He wasn’t cute anymore...He was hot.

It makes you almost self conscious of your very plain appearance, still clad in your loose-fitting orange dress that was topped off with a yellow sweater and comfortable yellow slip-ons. But, as you find you are unable to look away from him and with him doing the same, you don’t feel so plain.

His eyes have been traveling your figure, sizing you up whilst the initiates hop off the ledge blindly. Cool eyes observe your hair, loosely tied with flowers adorning the curls of the braids, a light flower crown topping the peaceful look off. Even if there were plenty of insults that would come with how you appeared in such a ruthless and scary place as Dauntless, Eric couldn’t help but still see the beauty that resided in such simple attire. He couldn’t wait to see you stride so confidently in stark black, a color he knew would match your complexion.

Snapping out of your haze, you avert your gaze from Eric’s, taking a step up onto the ledge, turning around and smirking, your feet lifting off of the smooth concrete.

Dropping down below, you succumb to the feeling of emptiness, your goal now set and unable to be avoided or forgotten. You’re gonna make it. No one will or can stop you. You are free!

///

“You have guts, I’ll give you that,” prides Four, leading you up to the towers after your gracious victory of Capture the Flag, patting you on the back. “You get stronger everyday,” he whispers soothingly, which causes a smile as you take the sling in hand.

“I intend to,” you nod determined, breaking into a grin just as you prepare to zip-line through the compound. “Thank you, Four.”

“No need, I only guide, you do the rest. Now go, you deserve this!”

Giggling, you salute him with a wink, taking off through an endless ride fueled by adrenaline and your mission completing shortly coming to the neat future. Pulling the hand brake as hard as possible, you pull out of the sling, dangle a bit as you pull your weight off, and then drop down, meeting a common frown head on.

“No need to be all pouty-faced, you get to play the game every year,” you joke, walking up the Eric cautiously, and rather clumsily as you tred on thin ice and undiscovered land.

“I’m not angry, just tired,” he grunts.

“Then let me walk you to your room?”

“No, I got this on my own.”

“Please, I insist. I haven’t seen you in years Coulter, and you haven’t spoken to me either. All I ask is to walk you to your room, then you can continue hating me or whatever it is you have against me. Can I just have this, please?”

Sucking in a huge breath, he exhales, “Fine, let’s go before anyone sees me disappearing with an initiate.”

The label makes you wince. You’d think you’d mean just a little bit more to him, at least the history could, right? “Yay!” you smile, swiftly exiting through the double doors behind all of the waiting initiates still watching as the others wing down.

Walking side by side through the dark hallways, the itch to talk to Eric becomes very prominent. Yet, as you peek at him every so often, his closed-offness almost scares you. What happened to him?

Blushing, you don’t realize the words actually leave your mouth when Eric chuckles under his breath. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to say anything.”

“It’s fine,” he gives you a lopsided grin.

Smiling back at him, you look forward again, fiddling with your hands as the question ultimately still remains unanswered.

“I remember that tick, something’s bothering you,” Eric points out, still not looking at you. “What is it?”

“Why did you lie to me?” the question comes out more as a demand, the pain laced in with it’s harsh truth.

“I never lied to you.”

“Yes, Eric, you did. Why would you tell me to hold onto that stupid ring if you were just gonna hand me yours? Why would you treat me as if I was insignificant even with all the history we had? I just don’t know where we shifted so badly,” you start to tear up, hugging yourself as the pain resurfaces, the undeniable love for him still pumping in your bones.

He sighs, a hand combing through his hair, “I didn’t want to do something I’d regret, and I didn’t want you to feel guilty.”

“I’m sorry Eric, but I’m going to need more than simple, cryptic sentences,” you sniff, hiding your face from him.

“I told you to hold onto your ring because I didn’t want you to think about that night - our last night together - and think about the way you would’ve broken our relationship so badly.”

“But, you gave me your ring?”

“I didn’t sleep that night,” he sighs again, looking down at you with worry and care, “And, after I thought about it, I didn’t want to uphold a promise I could’ve broken at any moment, especially when we were apart for so long. I knew you’d seen the ring the morning after, too, and I couldn’t face the broken look I knew would be on your face. I couldn’t look at the puppy dog eyes I’d easily drop everything for. I wanted this, Y/N, but I didn’t want to lose us.”

Shaking lightly, you cry and hide underneath the layer of hair, “Are you happy now?”

“God no!” he yells, stopping in his tracks and grabbing both of your shoulders, forcing you to meet his demanding eyes. Brushing your hair aside, his blue orbs bore into your tear-stained Y/E/C ones, stern look softening. “You don’t get it, do you, Y/N/N?”

“Get what?” you croak, feeling hopeless even as your heart flutters with the acknowledgment of your old nickname.

“I may have wanted to be here, but I’m still miserable...” he smiles, “Nothing is better than being with you,” Eric admits.

Eyes widening, you look up at him, “Wh-What?”

“I still love you, dammit, and I can’t just watch you walk around the rest of your life here without knowing your all mine.”

Crashing his lips on yours, you eagerly return the gesture, placing your hands on his cheeks as he pushes you into the wall shrouded in darkness.You missed this. You missed him. Nothing shines as brightly as he does and life without him is just bland. Tears circling your mouthes, a salty taste adds to your hunger for each other; 2 years was a long time.

Pulling away with a hearty giggle, more tears fall, but they weren’t the bad kind. Reaching into your front pocket, you pull out little metal scraps, looking back up at Eric. “I still have them,” you show him your promise rings.

Eric laughs too, picking up the bigger one, putting it on his finger halfway, “The sizes definitely changed a bit.”

Gasping, “Wait! I have an idea!” you drop on your knees, tugging at your shoe laces on your sneakers. Pulling them out of the loopholes, Eric holds the rings for you to grab, taking each individually to weave the laces through, knotting the two ends to create necklaces.

Eric smiles at your childlike perk, admiring you as you hand him his new charm.

“You don’t have to wear it, we could make it less noticeable or something. Give it a real chain or just leave it in your room. It’s up to you,” you smile, putting your around your neck.

“Nah, this is important, one-of-a-kind-jewelry right here, gotta hold it close,” he jokes, placing his around his neck as well.

Tugging you with an arm around your shoulders, Eric pulls you with him on the continued walk to his room.

“So, does this make us a thing again?” you poke him in the side, wrapping an arm around his waist.

“Of course. I’m not making the same mistake again,” he squeezes you, “You’re mine and I’m never letting you slip away from me again.”

“Sounds like a deal to me.”

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