#BUT onward to my complaining

[discountdyke]

im exhausted and im feeling whiny

[notbecauseofvictories]

more than anything in this world I love wandering through museums and taking pictures of things to research later. like oh, interesting concept, what if I spent an hour reading about that when I am in my pajamas in bed and it can really blow my mind.

[lotrmusical]

Namer of nameless hills and tall mountains green A crown of stars upon his head like gems was seen High peak to deepest vale and all inbetween Undimmed by cloud or shade of night, a splendour fair and keen Light and song, vanquishing the dark and gloom Harp and trumpet, burnish gold the air Precious realm, O Moria, O Khazad-dûm O my people, would that I had found you there!

happy anniversary, watermill lotr! you know how we're always saying that lament for moria deserves to be a full-length song? i have made extra bits to turn it into one!

borrowed from gimli's song of durin in the books to put together an extra verse and pre-chorus, and set them to music. (this audio is an auditory reference for the new bits, stuck together in musescore with the vocal line represented by cello because i am not a singer)

pdf scores (one with multi-instrumental accompaniment and one with guitar reduction) + lyrics are on google drive here!

[coffeeshib]

Hi! I’ve recently visited your page again, after a longer tumblr break and saw your posts about people’s comments on your fics. It made me both sad and angry. Sad because they’ve managed to take away your joy for writing Supercorp and angry that people feel like they can type out any hurtful thought that goes through their head, for a thing that is absolutely free and made with so much passion and care. 😒🤬

For what it’s worth, I always loved the way you write both of them. AND the fact that you don’t ignore Kara’s trauma and struggles. “i’m spilling all my words (but you keep 'em to yourself)” will forever be one of my favorites. Thank you for the hours of joy and fun you have given us! I hope you know that for every entitled commenter there are ten times more people who love your works! 🫵🏻🤘🏻

ahh thank you so much, i appreciate this. i have to say, sc still has me by the neck, i do plan to finish that fic & maybe write some more but it won't be anytime soon. i had hoped that the fandom would calm down with the kara hate after the show ended but i was wrong, it still hasn't changed.

when you've been writing for sc for so long, the frustration builds up, & there have been many times where i felt like i needed to (& did) restrict myself when writing them. it stops being enjoyable when people are constantly calling kara 'stupid' & insult her in many different ways for not being the happy sunshine kara danvers who takes care of lena all the time.

personally i love reading & writing the reverse situation (lena who's being the patient loving one & also the shoulder for kara to lean on) because the show didn't give us enough of that. unfortunately, people don't respond well whenever kara is struggling with her issues & lena isn't the one who's being comforted.

i write what i like & that's what i'm always going to do, but this build up of frustration over the past years & always anticipating kara hate every fic/chapter killed the joy a lot.

i've seen some authors speak about this too & it's genuinely sad to see! people can like & dislike whatever but it's important to note that there are readers out there who don't realize that their personal feelings against kara also affect authors & their love for writing supercorp

[kingofcomedy]

love that my body is rebelling against me and keeps waking up after only sleeping for like 4 hours

[taniushka12]

night springs north star was fucking excellent and i had such a great time playing it it completely makes up for Number one fan 😭

[fionnaskyborn]

pros of learning how to play fighting game:

undergoing a learning experience, trying out something entirely different from anything i have previously played

i get to look at a little guy do cool things on my screen :)

cons of learning how to play fighting game:

i am clumsy as all hell with the inputs

the order in which you press and/or hold buttons to create inputs is less like trying to get a sequence of movements right and more like playing a rhythm game (down then while not letting go of down press forward then let go of down and THEN press an attack button on the other side of the keyboard). i suck at rhythm games. hell world

sometimes, the damn things just... won't register? at all? you do a half circle to forward input and the game says "half circle forward? oh, sorry, that's ensenga :)" or, worse, "too slow, that's a regular heavy slash move :)". brother. why must you do me like this.

the area between the knuckles of my ring and little finger hurts like a motherfucker (though this has hurt in various areas since at least this morning, but i'm willing to bet that practicing quarter and half circle inputs for at least an hour did not make the situation any better)

[slav-every-day]

[britneyshakespeare]

i found my old yo-yo the other day, like my very first yo-yo that i learned how to yo-yo proficiently with. a green duncan butterfly yo-yo i got for christmas in 2006. it still glides like a dream which is a miracle not just bc of its age but i never replaced the string. and after finding it and using it again it just brought me back to how entrancing it is, the rhythmic comfort of the string and the toy going up and down, the regular wrist motion. it's hypnotic. that's also how it feels after awhile of spamming one person with dozens of boops with my laptop mouse.

[airenyah]

maybe i'm about to have a change of plans. maybe i won't be making my mother watch last twilight and only friends this semester break, maybe instead i'll go for a star in my mind rewatch and will also sit her down in front of mafia the series

[darkaac]

Finished ACSyndicate after quite a long time (forgot i had it installed teehee) and it's good!! love zipping across London

[violetsareblue-afterdark]

haha the ai are a little more wild the last few days huh?

[itsalwaysdark]

we had fun tho the whole family hung out and we did some sporclee and chronophoto and then globle me n lamp nd father did globle bc mein mamma went to sleep. yay :]

[highwayprairie]

I want to post but I just have rough sketches 😔

[gaogaigoatgrrl]

i hope that in the wake of predstrogen/predesterone's back-to-back deletion we don't forget about the ongoing building wave of seemingly organic transmisogyny from the userbase leading up to it, some of which may or may not have been the result of terf psyops but all of which certainly wouldn't have been possible without the eager participation of a significant proportion of users, including but probably not limited to:

the entire concept of transandrophobia (if this offends you, think long and hard about why you want so badly for it to be real)

the ongoing backlash against the terms tme and tma (if they offend you, think long and hard about why they might have practical value to trans women and people with similar social positionality)

the ongoing trend of trans women's blogs getting flagged on the flimsiest of pretenses and generally receiving far more scrutiny for "adult content" than anyone else's

the seeming unironic revival of "baeddel" as a slur for outspoken trans women, on the basis of a long-dead clique that, ironically enough, self-applied the long-dead (and tbf, etymologically questionable) slur from the middle ages to reclaim it

the entire "trans women should be fucking trans men instead of complaining about transmisogyny" genre of post

the backlash when tgirls finally started calling out the aforementioned bullshit

the copypasted anons sent to several trans women (many of whom were lesbians) sexually harassing them and threatening corrective rape for calling out the aforementioned bullshit

the backlash when tgirls called the aforementioned bullshit sexual harassment

the expansion of flexible queer label use (which to be clear, i am generally all for) to include "afab trans women", muddying the waters and making transmisogyny harder to articulate

the backlash when tgirls started calling out the aforementioned bullshit

the aita incident in which a trans woman described a cis woman claiming to be a trans woman in a group chat and giving other trans women terrible medical advice based on no actual qualifications or experience, and got a huge backlash for warning them about the aforementioned bullshit despite the stakes of, you know, following terrible medical advice

everything from the sixth point onward happened within the past... week? two weeks? my sense of time is a bit fuzzy. who knows what the rest of this week has in store?

people on this website are so incredibly hostile to trans women even being able to name our own oppression, let alone resist it in any concrete way. and i know it's not just this website. don't you get tired of the crab bucket bullshit? holy fucking shit.

like, i've been lucky, i've overwhelmingly managed to dodge it (probably on account of frankly being a pretty boring and inconsistent poster). this time last year, i was actually bored that i didn't have anons in my inbox to argue with. but i've seen it happen to so many other women now, it's absurd. even if it never hits you personally, you can never shake the awareness that it's happening to so many of the cool girls on here, people you like and whose posts you laugh at and who you look up to. they just kinda seem to drop like flies over time. don't you get tired?

[p0orbaby]

Your Turn to Bear the Burden

summary: one rule for one, and one for another

warnings: a little angsty

a/n: i didn’t exactly stick to the request but it’s close enough !

word count: 1.8k

-

Dinner is sea bass. You have it twice a week because Alexia swears it’s good for the omega-3s, and because she read somewhere that it helps reduce the risk of age related cognitive decline. It’s grilled, seasoned with Maldon sea salt and a drizzle of olive oil from a suspiciously artisanal bottle she brought back from a day trip in Girona. The fish sits on a porcelain plate, beside a scatter of wild rocket (that you suspect isn’t that wild) and a dollop of aioli that she keeps insisting is homemade but always tastes exactly like the jarred one you buy from Mercadona. You don’t complain. You’ve learned not to. Complaining about food in this house would be like complaining about Picasso’s brushstrokes. It’s pointless and makes you look uncultured.

Alexia sits across from you, sleeves rolled to the elbows of her crisp white linen shirt. She’s wearing the Cartier watch you bought her last year, and her hair, damp from her post-training shower, is slicked back with that agonisingly expensive hair product she orders from Paris. Her fork scrapes against her plate in slow, deliberate motions. She eats like someone’s recording her for an advert—perfect posture, elbows off the table, chewing with a rhythm that feels both measured and faintly patronising.

“Eat,” she says, gesturing at your untouched plate. “It’s good for your heart”

“My heart’s fine,” you mutter, stabbing a piece of fish with the fork. It flakes too perfectly, like it’s been carved from soap.

“Your blood pressure says otherwise.” She’s got that look again. The one that makes you feel like she’s your personal physician instead of your wife.

You open your mouth to reply, but then Aina, your six-year-old, decides to detonate the conversational equivalent of an atomic bomb.

“Mami, is the lady at training your girlfriend?”

The question is dropped so casually that, for a moment, you think you’ve misheard. It hangs in the air, heavy and improbable, like a chandelier dangling by a single thread.

Alexia freezes mid-cut of her food, the sharp edge of the knife grazing the plate with a faint squeak that makes you wince. She’s poised in that awkward half-motion, as though still deciding whether to commit to slicing the fish or abandoning the endeavour altogether.

You set your cutlery down with deliberate care. The silver catches the light, refracting it into neat prisms on the table. “I’m sorry,” you say, your voice calm but laced with incredulity. “What?”

“The lady at training,” Aina repeats, savouring her newfound role as household disruptor. She waves a chunk of fish in the air with the authority of a conductor cueing a symphony. “The one with the shiny hair who always laughs at your jokes”

Alexia clears her throat, a sound more purposeful than polite. “Aina, cariño, eat your dinner”

“I am,” Aina replies, affronted, her cheeks puffed with indignation—and probably another piece of food. “But she’s always there. She calls you Ale, too. Like Mamá does”

Your head tilts ever so slightly, your gaze sharpening like the edge of a freshly honed knife. “She calls you Ale?”

“It’s my nickname,” Alexia says, far too quickly. Her knife saws through her sea bass with unnecessary vigour, the motion a little too aggressive for a piece of fish.

“For people who are close,” you murmur, your voice sugared with the faintest trace of menace. Honey over a blade.

“She’s just being friendly,” Alexia mutters, but it’s a hopeless defence. Friendly? Alexia’s version of friendly typically involves curt nods and silences so loaded they could tip over a cargo ship. You’ve seen her reduce overzealous fans to apologetic puddles with nothing more than a well-timed brow lift. This shiny-haired woman must be either extraordinarily resilient or willfully obtuse.

The conversation limps onward—or at least, it pretends to. Aina, blissfully oblivious to the tension, pivots to a monologue about school. There’s a new maths teacher who “smells like raisins,” and the class hamster escaped during art, prompting chaos and a stern lecture from Mrs. Lopez. Alexia seizes this distraction like a lifeline, nodding along with exaggerated interest and lobbing in questions about multiplication tables and papier-mâché volcanoes. But you’re not fooled.

You’re watching her, the cogs in your mind spinning with precision. There’s a tell, you know there is. Something in the way her shoulders stiffen just a fraction too much when Aina says “shiny hair.” The way her hand lingers on her wine glass a moment too long, as if considering the merits of drowning herself in Rioja.

You let it lie for now.

-

Later, when Aina is cocooned in her duvet, her breathing deep and even, you find Alexia in the kitchen. The dishwasher hums faintly as she loads it with the precision of a neurosurgeon mid-surgery. Plates are slotted in at perfect right angles, bowls stacked by diameter like a tidy topographical map, cutlery pointed handle-up because “it’s more hygienic”—a rule she enforces as if it’s in the Geneva Conventions.

You lean against the counter, your stance casual but your tone anything but. “So. The lady with the shiny hair”

Alexia doesn’t look up, focused on positioning a stubborn saucepan. “What about her?”

“Is there something you want to tell me?”

Her exhale is sharp, controlled. She straightens to face you, her expression carefully blank, a masterpiece of denial. “Don’t be ridiculous”

You cross your arms, the picture of patient fury. “I’m not the one making friends at our daughters extra curricular activities”

“She’s not even my friend,” Alexia says, but it’s the wrong thing to say, and she knows it the second it’s out of her mouth. You watch the words hang in the air, a misstep that invites you to pounce. She’s inadvertently handed you the key to a door she didn’t want opened.

“Oh, so she’s just hitting on you,” you say, your tone silky and exact, as if you’re presenting an irrefutable conclusion in court. Your hand cradles the wine glass with a precision that borders on art, its curve mirroring the faint smile playing on your lips.

“Do you hear yourself?” Alexia asks, her voice pitched higher than usual—an octave reserved for complete disbelief.

“Do you hear Aina?” you counter, your words razor-sharp but draped in velvet. “Because she’s clearly picked up on something.”

Alexia exhales, running a hand through her hair in that harried way she does when faced with impossible tactics—like breaking down a parked bus defence or convincing Aina that broccoli isn’t evil. “She’s six. She thinks people are dating if they stand next to each other for more then five minutes”

You raise an eyebrow, arching it with surgical precision. “And yet she’s never accused me of having a girlfriend on my errands”

Alexia hesitates. It’s brief, but you see it—the tiny glitch in her system. Her mouth opens, then closes, her defences recalibrating. She hates this. She thrives on control, on certainty, on organising chaos into perfect diagonal lines, whether it’s her wardrobe or your shared holiday schedules. Being put on the defensive is an alien sensation, and she wears it badly.

“It’s not what you think,” she says finally.

“Great,” you reply, folding your arms. “Because I’m not thinking anything. Yet.”

Alexia exhales through her nose, the kind of exhale that says she’s already tired of this conversation, even though it’s barely started. “She’s a parent of one of the other kids at football. That’s it”

“Right. And the arm-touching?”

“She’s just… tactile”

“Tactile,” you repeat, as if tasting the word for the first time. “Interesting choice of adjective”

Alexia leans forward, her elbows resting on the table—a rare lapse in her usually impeccable posture. “You’re blowing this out of proportion”

“Am I?” You pick up your wine glass and swirl the liquid, not because it needs aerating but because it gives your hands something to do. It’s a Rioja. Medium-bodied. Too warm. “You keep me on a leash so tight I can’t even glance at a waitress without getting a lecture, but shiny hair can play patty-cake with your arm, and I’m the one who’s out of line?”

“She’s not playing patty-cake”

“You’re right. That would require both hands”

“Stop it”

“Why? Is it making you uncomfortable?”

Alexia’s eyes narrow. She doesn’t answer right away, which is unusual for her. She’s usually quick with her rebuttals—sharp, precise, like the lawyer she secretly wishes she’d become. But now, she’s uncharacteristically quiet.

“She’s just being friendly,” Alexia says finally, her voice lower now, almost defensive. “You know how people are”

“No, I don’t. Enlighten me.” You lean forward, resting your chin on your hand. “Because the people I know don’t make a habit of fondling married women during football training”

“Fondling?” Alexia’s eyebrows shoot up. “Now who’s being dramatic?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you say, setting your wine glass down with enough force to make the liquid slosh over the rim. “Would you prefer ‘caressing’? Or maybe ‘groping’? No, wait, I’ve got it—‘inappropriate physical contact.’ How’s that for a euphemism?”

Alexia sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You’re paranoid”

“And you’re a hypocrite”

That lands. You can tell by the way her jaw tightens, the muscles working under her skin like she’s chewing on something bitter. You let the silence stretch out, savouring it like the last bite of dessert. When she finally speaks, her voice is quieter, but no less sharp.

“What do you want me to say?” she asks. “That I’ll tell her to stop? Fine. I’ll tell her to stop. Happy?”

“No.” You shake your head. “Because that’s not the point

“Then what is the point?”

“The point,” you say, your voice rising now, “is that you don’t get to police my every interaction and then brush this off like it’s nothing. You don’t get to play the saint while shiny hair out there auditioning for Handsy Football Mums Gone Wild”

Alexia’s lips press into a thin line. For a moment, you think she might yell, but she doesn’t. She just sits there, staring at you with those infuriatingly steady eyes, like she’s trying to dissect you with her gaze alone.

“She’s not interested in me,” Alexia says eventually, her tone measured, controlled. “She’s just… like that. With everyone”

“Do you actually believe that,” you ask, “or are you just hoping I will?”

She doesn’t answer. And for the first time tonight, you feel like you’ve won—not the argument, necessarily, but something. A crack in her armour, maybe. Or a shift in the balance of power.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Alexia says finally, her voice quieter now. Almost vulnerable.

“Like what?”

“Like you don’t trust me,

You don’t answer right away. Instead, you pick up your wine glass again, taking a long, slow sip. The wine tastes better now. Richer. Fuller. Or maybe that’s just the satisfaction of knowing you’ve rattled her.

“It’s not about trust,” you say eventually, setting the glass back down. “It’s about consistency”

Alexia tilts her head, confused. “Consistency?”

“If you’re going to be the morality police,” you say, your tone light but cutting, “you’d better make sure you’re following your own rules. Otherwise, it’s just embarrassing”

She doesn’t reply. And for the first time all evening, you think maybe—just maybe—she’s out of things to say.