#BUT IT LITERALLT WENT BAD ON THE WAY HERE

[lowkeyrobin]

could you write something for eddievr?? If not it’s totally ok, have a good day!!!

-♊️

yeah sure! I went with this prompt I found from someone I follow so hopefully this is good lol ; thanks for requesting! hope you enjoy 🫶 ; I'm ab to be so honest I have no idea what this is.... don't expect anything good cause I wrote it at peak sleep deprived mess I'm so sorry (I literallt dk what to do w this i???)

EDDIEVR ; why are you here?

summary ; Eddie drops by to try and back your mind out of leaving for work, you leave anyways, and have to go running back to him

warnings ; language, platonic

word count ; 869

masterlist

"Why are you here?" You ask bluntly, arms crossed as you stand in your doorway.

Eddie stands in front of you, a desperate look in his eyes, "To save you from a mistake, Y/n!"

You roll your eyes with a light sigh. "Eddie, I'm moving, and you can't change that! I don't know why you're so obsessed with trying to hold me down here. I'm going places with my life. You need to move on!"

He opens his mouth to speak, but you cut him off.

"For Christ's sake, you're married! Go home to Gabby, please. I'm leaving tomorrow." You step out of his way to showcase the bins and boxes lining your walls.

"It's not about that!" He exclaims. "You're making a mistake, it's gonna be good for a while, but it's gonna come crashing down"

"And you know this how?" You squint, raising an eyebrow. "What, are you a psychic or something?"

He sighs, "I just don't wanna lose you, okay?"

"Holy shit. You came all the way here for that?"

He's silent.

"Y/n, please. I have a bad feeling-"

"Nope, goodbye" You move out of the way to slam the door closed, not wanting to hear another word.

Truth is, you'd gotten in a fight, a random one at that, when you told him you were moving. He was lying about his fear to lose you or whatever he meant by that, you talked online with him and his friends 24/7, it wouldn't be any different if you were a few hundred miles away. You talked more online than in person already. Nothing would've really changed.

But, apparently to him, it would've meant the end of the world.

He was hiding something, you didn't know what. He didn't want you to leave, you didn't know whether to find it sweet or creepy at first.

You decide to call Gabby, considering that's his wife, and you didn't want him around your home anymore. Plus, you had to question her about this.

The first time you dial her number, you're sent to voicemail. Out of your persistence, you call again, to actually be met by her voice.

"Oh my God, hi Y/n! Sorry, I've been baking, had to wash my hands and I couldn't get to the phone" She awkwardly chuckles, "What's up? You alright?"

"Uh, yeah..." You shrug, "Uhm, what's up with Eddie. He's so persistent about trying to get me to not move, but he won't tell me why"

You hear her sigh on the other end of the phone.

"He's worried about the company you work for, they're known for shady things, he's worried that after you make this move, that they're gonna start the shady shit now that you're closer to home base" She explains, "He's embarrassed that he did research on it, I guess. He's been looking for any and every reason for you to stay"

You sigh and nod, remembering she can't see you as you look back down at your phone. "Thanks, Gabby"

"Yeah. Let me know if you need anything, okay?"

"Mhm"

You hang up after giving her a proper goodbye and then flop down on your couch. You look around at all the boxes stacked along your walls, looking like a maze around the place.

You still didn't understand why he was acting this way, as it was just... childish? Maybe it was his way of showing concern for a friend, but it just felt weird.

"Eddie, you're a confusing man"

You sigh as you reach for your TV remote, turning the television on to watch more of a show you've been hooked on.

Surprisingly, Gabby wasn't lying about the shady shit your company was up to. They left you without a job in the middle of a big city and rent due in a few days. Awesome.

You were already on the verge of being evicted because you missed rent last month. The only friends you had anywhere close were Eddie and Gabby.

You decide to give Gabby a ring, hoping to ask if you could crash with them for a while. The stress was eating you inside out and you couldn't handle it, why not flee while you could?

"Hey Gabby!-"

"Y/n?" Eddie asks through the other side of the line, having picked up the phone for his wife, "What's up?"

"I'm getting evicted and I don't know what to do"

"Hm... I think I told you about that, pal"

"Actually, you didn't! Because you made a million excuses not to tell me for some reason"

"Yeah, true. Sorry"

"Anyways, do you at least have room for my cat? I'm not giving them up, they're my cat. I just need somewhere safe for them to be right now"

"Yknow you can stay with us too, right? We have a spare bedroom"

"I don't have money to pay you rent-"

Gabby quickly grabs the phone from Eddie, "You're welcome to stay with us anytime, Y/n. Please, come. I'm bored here without you"

"Hey!" Eddie exclaims jokingly.

"Alright, I'll be there in... five minutes!" You joke, "Okay, bye, thank you, love you, need to go, bye!"

"What the fuck is happening right now"

[foxstens]

grandma sent me food but the soup went bad on the way here and the maccaroni just......... doesn’t taste good. cause she mixed in some weird ingredients again and sometimes it works but most of the time it doesnt

so here i am............. having to throw out tons of food again. and then make other food. I HATE SUMMER

[yagamisdiary]

ALRIGHT here’s just a paragraph of me putting my thoughts on this chap and stuff for next chap since i’ve no where else to put it 💀💀

This was the absolute most CUTEST chapter yet it was just so nostalgic and beautiful, the scene of her imagining jean and her brothers back to them as young boys made me smile and i couldn’t stop it was honestly so beautifully written and i LOVED it

and then Prince Phoenix AHHHH this man bruh so hot so respectful and literal green flag as a man and when he was with the bunny oh my god i loved it idk why but it was like a scene of proving he has good intentions the way he reacted to it and held it ygm? and when they were walking in the rose garden and fucking jean and ambrose coke out of the bush…💀💀 i cant fucking wait to see how jean felt in that scene if you end up putting it in next chap since you said bits of it will be from that week in his pov but i honestly do really like phoenix so far BUT this guy is blind asf i’m sorry… idc what anyone has to say no way this guy couldn’t see she was uncomfortable and sad after the engagement now this isn’t me saying he shouldn’t of proposed IM SAYING he’s blind that he didn’t hug her like i know it’s hard this guy was so happy and blind anyone could of seen through that fake ass smile girl was about to break 😭😭 but i think how he went with the proposal was cute and especially his little speech he understood

and when my girl broke 😭😭 i was so sad man and the way she felt so embarrassed when jean saw her made me break for her even more, felt for that girl fr

WHEN JEAN WAS BANGING ON THE DOOR ANF WHINED AUGHHHH JUST WAITING FOR Y/N TO TOP HIM SO THAT CAN HAPPEN AGAIN.

I’m sorry but i understand it’s hard for mikasa but i hated how she was treating her as a stranger to try distance herself even tho this was a time she needed her best friend the most like oh my god mikasa get your ass back in the game before i get parasite y/n in here to steal your man..

and i’m sorry but why haven’t i seen anyone except for like one talking about the KEY scene of this entire chapter which is probably gonna set up for a new BIG BIG part of the plot??? Levi and Y/n’s fight i called it istg it’s like when she had bad intentions so will her powers? so that’s why i’m scared for her when or if she loses control cause her stubbornness and emotions have been so high these past like two chapters and it’s only gonna get worse 😭 but oh my god that fight scene was so good and i was honestly afraid for levi when he started coughing man i fucking loved how she took her anger out tho it was so cool

OH I NEWTLY FORGOT TJE BEST PART WHAT. My favourite part was the parts of her and jean in his room and how they slept together it was all so cute. how she was naming constellations and he seemed genuinely interested and talking about the future n shit and how he went asleep and she went asleep on him AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AHHHHXHXHXJXJJSJSJS MY HEART AND STOMACH AT THAT SCENE BRUH I SWEAR TO ABSOLJTE FUCKING GOD. And how she’d always go back that week. i don’t care what anyone says.. i know it was so small but the best part of the entire chapter for me was hearing how he’d day at night how she can’t come back but every day he’d ask if she was going to be coming over tonight my heart sunk into my stomach in a good way literallt resting on butterflies it was the best fucking part for me

AND JEAN AT THE END???? man what’s up with this guy and pulling her waist? not complaining tho, this guy definitely loves her waist or some shit tho 😭 it was so cute how he was just behind her speaking and getting closer and then brought her in for a hug from behind like oh my god i fucking loved it now i cant wait for him and phoenix to be in a room alone 🥺🤞

NOW FOR NEXT CHAP

bruhhhh smut smut smut m m mmmmmm i cant wait like i just know he’s gonna be slow n shit and the fact he HAS to be slow since she’s a virgin and let’s be honest this guy probably hasn’t had sex in a long while since he’s been so busy and doesn’t seem to be going out as much so HES gonna be holding on for dear life literally edging himself the entire time and i just KNOW this guy gives the best after care let’s be honest like look at how he hugged her when she heard her parents, untied her corset cause he knew it was bothering her and the way he done it AUGHHHSHDHDJD and how he was hugging her from behind at the end and how he was banging on the door and didn’t care if he got caught and hoe he didn’t want to fight with her and just wanted to be with her and just stay with her like oh my god this guy…

ALSO AMARA FUCK YOU WE’VE BEEN STARVED OF CRUSHING MARCO FOR WEEKS NOW.

Speaking of starving we’ve been starved of Amara’s immaculate smut for a total of FIVE fucking months now… FIVE. AND NOW WE’RE FINALLY GETTING IT????

and prince phoenix.. i know i praised him when i was talking about him but i didn’t wanna include this there since thag was kind of a look back of last chap but i don’t trust him.. i also know amara’s ways from parasite so i don’t trust him if im bring honest.. he’s too good to be true i feel like he knows a thing or two about y/n and her powers or at least his parents do but i think he’s way too good to be true and i don’t think it’s a coincidence he picked y/n and he’s also the like less sus person which i think is sus 💀💀 but idk i could just be looking into it too much but i don’t think so 😇😋🤲

anyways sorry if this was really long 💀 just needed somewhere to put my input on this chap 😍🤲 definitely my favourite so far couldnt stop smiling the whole way through it 😭 love you amara mwah 💗💗💗

OMG I LOVE THIS SO MUCH I LOOOOOVE WHEN GIVE ME LONG DETAILED DETAILS/FEEDBACK ITS MY FAVORITE

i’m gonna respond back to each paragraph so hold on:

the part where yn envisions her brothers as siblings was definitely the hardest part to write for me and even though it’s in the beginning of the chapter, it was the very last scene i wrote because i was struggling so much with it like i wanted it to be perfect

prince phoenix definitely did notice she was sad, in the part where she says he was talking to her as she walking him to the gates but she was zoned out and wasn’t listening, he asks her what’s wrong and tells hers stuff and that’s why he hugs her because he feels bad (it’ll get more into it in this next chapter)

the part where she runs to her room crying was one of my favorite scenes to write, i know this sounds HORRIBLE and u guys are gonna be like “yeah bitch we can tell” but i LOVEEEE writing gut-wrenching, heartbreaking scenes like it’s my fav kind of scene to write and the fact that i got that emotion out of ppl makes me happy in the sense that i got my point across like the point was for the reasons to feel her pain and that’s what happened so YAY ME (sorry y’all)

jean hanging on the door LMFAO i just had to include the veronica scene because first of all HOT, second because i feel like jean is always so nonchalant and pretends he isn’t bothered and that scene is one of the first scenes we really see him worried about her and putting his pride aside fully by begging and pleading her to talk to him which is massive for his character development

with mikasa, i understand both sides like i get why mikasa wants to distance herself because she feels like it’ll hurt less to say goodbye but also like she needs to be there for yn when she really needs her, also mikasa is getting more attached to eren since she knows eren is gonna be here forever and yn won’t, it’s kinda like she accepting she has to move on but you’re right she shouldn’t be cold toward her atleast LMFAO NOT U SAYING PARASITE YN IS GONNA STEAL HER MAN

yesss the levi scene is definitely detrimental to the storyline in so many ways, the readers can kinda see the connection that her powers are controlled by her intentions si since she’s always so kind and caring, her attentions are always good but right now, she’s starting to go through some tough shit and her emotions are everywhere to the point where she can no longer control/hide how she feels which correlates with her powers as well

and YES we do see those couple days from jeans pov in the next chapter so he’s pov on when they’re outside running around, when she’s asleep on him, when she goes over every night, when he finds out yn got proposed to etc he also goes and reads the letters she sent years ago so i’m excited for u guys to read that as well

jean touching her waist has a lot more significance than people realize, he’s known her his entire life and only has touched her hands/arms/shoulders because they never were close like that. now that he’s getting closer to her, he’s able to touch her in more personal spots aka her waist, that’s also why he has a habit of always lifting her chin up too because he couldn’t touch her face like that before either

the SMUTTTT it’s gonna be real good like i’m so hyped for it and i know all these bitches are too LOL it’s been MONTHS since i’ve written smut so i’m really excited to get back into it and i think this one is a tad bit more exciting for me because like you said yn is a virgin so he is gonna have this overwhelming feeling that he has to be gentle while having to hide the fact he wants to fuck her brains out LMFAO

and crushing marco comes out this next chapter don’t worry!! especially since it’s marcos pov and the two are friends, you’re gonna see a lot more of the men interactions (jean even speaks to phoenix too but shhhhh)

“amara’s way from parasite” HELPPPP i really traumatized you guys with that book i swear 💀💀 every comment is like “FORESHADOWING???” or “AMARA WHAT IS THIS”

[alitoowell]

One year—365 days—and still I cannot find the words to do justice to the magnitude of gratitude that I feel, and will forever feel, for the magic that was October 22, 2017.  It’s funny because meeting Taylor was always in my mind as a possibility.  In that people DO meet her, so it’s possible.  But I always viewed it as possible, yet unachievable.  People would meet her, but they wouldn’t be ME.  Simply because the odds were too great of being noticed or picked from a crowd.  So I never planned out how it would go, or where, or what I would say, which left me even more absolutely floored when it happened.  Even a year later my brain cannot quite wrap around the fact that the woman who I’ve looked up to since I was 15, who’s music has been the soundtrack to my life for an entire decade, had me over at her house?  I got to hug her?  Dance with her?  And listen to her entire unreleased album and the stories behind it?  That seems unbelievable.  And it will always seem unbelievable because people. don’t. do. that.  But Taylor does.  My friends have been encouraging me for a whole year straight to type everything out, and I never quite got there.  The task seemed too great, I didn’t know where to start, or what words to choose to capture those memories adequately.  In one of those moments of frustration I realized I actually already had written nearly everything—in the no less than 63 messages I sent to my best friend Shaina less than 24 hours later on October 23, 2017.  Though it’s jumbled and not perfect in any way and contains the misspellings and keyboard smashes and all, here’s my Taylor story, a year later, as told the day after it happened—in message form.

~

I MET TAYLOR SWIFT SHDJEKJDKROF

I CANNOT BELIEVE MY LIFE

I HAVEN’T CRIED YET BUT ITS 4 AM AND I THINK ITS FINALLY HITTINGME

photo of wristband

SHE FUCKING DANCED WITH ME DURING LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO LIKE GRABBED MY HAND AND JAMMED WITH ME AS I WAS SHOUTING THE LYRICS GOODBYEEEEEEE

photo of merch

GOODBYEEEEEEEEE

Shaina: You’re lying

IM NOY IM NOT OH MY FOD OH MY FREAKINF GOD

PARKER THOUGHT I WAS DRUNK OF SOMETHING CUZ I WAS SHOUTING VIA TEXT ASKING IF HE WAS UP HOLT SHIT

Shaina: Ok. Spill. I’m shook.

Okay okay so I’m literally about ready to pass out I haven’t slept well since finding out last week and legit got two hours of afterwards last night, well this morning ahhh

And about to board my flight but I’ll try to type quick

So basically her team DMed me last Tuesday saying they’ve noticed what an amazing fan I am and asked for my information

And people have been making fake TN accounts and sending fake messages to be awful, and I thought it was fake because I never expected to ever be contacted

So I’m like in the gym parking lot thank god I didn’t see it while I was still at work

And I realize it has a blue verified check and that it’s legitimate and the last questions was have you ever met Taylor and I LOSE MY SHIT IM IN HYSTERICS IN THE CAR AND CALL MY MOM AND SHE THINKS I GOT IN AN ACCIDENT

So basically I’m a freaking ass mess because I’m 99% it’s for a secret session since at that point one had happened and we all assumed that there would be more cities, and I was almost positive they would NOT send that message to someone and not follow through and call and tell them SOMETHING

So I can’t sleep I leave my phone on cuz I don’t want to miss a call

It of course doesn’t come til the next day while I’m AT WORK

And they freaking ass knew my twitter and tumblr and asked for all my socials and I now know the people I talked to weren’t asked that so that’s weirddddd

Anyway so sure as hell it’s a ‘very special event’ and it’s all too secret and I can’t tell anyone except a parent for safety

And once I confirm I can get myself to LA she gives some instructions and said final details will be emailed  

And so that was Wednesday and I’m crying at work and their dinner was late lol

And I called my mom and was like this weekend Sunday book flights nowwwww

And then the quick version is for the next two days I was practically puking every day so nervous and the email wasn’t coming and I was like shitttttt

So finally on Friday I straight up call Taylor Nation back and get straight through and say my name and she’s like what’s up?! And she says they’re coming out later that day

And so I flew down Saturday and I rented my very first car and took my first legit solo trip in the name of Taylor freaking swift honestly I’m not surprised

And bless Briana’s fam’s heart they were out of town but let me stay in their guest apartment while they were away with no explanation so that was very nice and less stress for me

And then I had to sit from 3:30 Saturday until 5:15 Sunday in LA by myself unable to tell anyone and it was wilddddddd

Like I was like sweeeeeet I can get caught up in my journal!!!  Noooo I deadass sat there and felt like I was dying and about threw up hourly like how the freaking hell do you just casually chill when you know your damn outlandish never thought it would occur dream is about to happen and not only that but like on a times 100 scale?!?!

So basically I went to her damn house and we hung out by the pool and ate food and the weirdest part is I’ve been unable to eat and have been panicking all week but the second I got to the first check point and to her house even more I was just like chillllll like ayeeeee this is gonna be fun omg I’m so hungry and let’s eat all this food

And so basically it’s a listening session for the new album and we obviously can’t say anything about it or what she said about it besides like probs that it’s AWESOME OUTSTANDING IS GONNA SLAY THE WORLD AND SHES SO LROUD OF IT AND MY BABY DID THAT AND IM REAL PROUD

Okay okay but she like explained each song in-depth and was the cutest cupcake singing along fully jamming to everything and like looking at everyone the entire time and locking eyes as she’s singing ya feel

My flight is about to leave but I will continue later!!!!!

Shaina: This is insane I can’t believe it I’m beyond stoked for you safe travels and talk soon

Okay we not leaving quite yet sooooo I’m missing parts. So we are told we’re gonna go inside and sit down and I book it fast to get a spot on the ground like only two people sitting in front of me and there’s a red plush chair not even 10 feet away that she’ll obviously be sitting in and we’re all like sjedjekkdir

And I was wondering who all I would know there right!?? And was bummed there’s one girl I talk to frequently who loves Shawn Mendes and we know each other cuz she saw my Shawn poster on twitter and she’s from LA but I hadn’t seen her

And then someone pokes me and is like ALIIIIIIII AND ITS HER AND WE FLIP AND SXREAM SO LOUD THE WHOLE ROOM THOUGHT IT WAS TAY AND WAS PISSSSSSED AND SHUSHING US AND SOMEONES LIKE THEY KNOW EACH OTHER!!!!! HAHAHAHA

Shaina: This just keeps getting better and better. How did you keep this a secret?!?!?!?

Shaina: How many people were there

AND SO ANYWAY WE ALL THOUGHT TAYLOR WAS GONNA COME IN FROM THE FRONT AND SIT RIGHT DOWN??? AND ON THE BUS SOMEONE WAS LIKE YOOOOO WHAT IF SINCE TONIGHT IT’S IN LA SHE BRINGS FRIENDS????? AND SO SHE OF COURSE INSTEAD COMES FROM THE BACL AND THE DAMN ROOM EXPLODES AND SHE LOOKS LIKE A DAMN GODWESS AND SHE’S LIKE HIIIIIIIII AND GRINNING AND ALSO COMES IN JACK ANTANOF (SPELLING IDK IM CURRENTLY OFFLINE SO I CANT CHECK), TWO OF THE HAIM GIRLS, AND RUBY ROSE AND THE ROOM IS LIKE SHATTERING

AND SO SINCE SHE IN THE BACK SHE STARTS MAKING HER WAY THROUGHHHHHH US AND IS GRABBING PEOPLE AND PEOPLE ARE STANDING UP AND HUGGING HER AND HOLY CRAP

Okay lololol shoot I just woke up and didn’t realize the rest of this story was notttt in constant caps like I’ve been using all day my bad my bad

And so she’s playing the songs in order off the album and I think it’s okay to say that her and jack are losing their minds because they’ve never gotten to experience our reaction to new stuff they’ve worked on when they’re together, and definitely not together and in person, so she kept being like this is so cool for us you have no idea and he’s in the back confirming lololol

And so anyway she gets to Look What You Made me Do and she’s like soooo how do we want to do this??? Do we want to keep sitting do we want to dance…??? And we’re all like DANCEEEEEE SHDHIEOKRKR and shes like okayyyy we’re dancing and Shaina this is deadass like straight out of a dream.  Actually wait no I couldn’t have imagined this, but she starts and I was anticipating part of this but not the whole thing…

So she obviously doesn’t just have us bopping along and staying and dancing on her own up front… she starts making her way into our basically tiny crowd and we’re so packed together that she’s grabbing people’s hands so she doesn’t fall as she goes. And she’s stopping and dancing with people and stops and stays dancing like staring at one guy and he’s going for it and not afraid and singing the lyrics dramatically right back to her….

And then she makes her way towards and wait for it

GRABS MY DAMN HAND AS SHE’S TRYING TO GET FARTHER INTO THE MIDDLE AND I’M LIKE OKAY OKAY JUST CHILL SHE JUST GRABBED MY HAND NO BIGGIE AND IM LIKE SHES GONNA KEEP WALKING LIKE THAT WAS MY MOMENT RIGBT?!?!

NOOOOOOOOOOO SHE STOPS THERE ONCE SHES BY ME AND IS DANCING WITH THE PEOPLE THAT ARE AROUND HER BUT HER BACK IS TO ME AT THIS POINT BUT IM STILL LIKE HOLY SHIT WHAT IS LIFE AND THEN SHE FREAKING ASS TURNS THE HELL AROUND AND IS DANCING! WITH! ME! LIKE! SHES! LOOKING! AT! ME! AND IM LIKE JAMMING OF COURSE AND SCREAMING THE LYRICS AND I LITERALLT DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN

And then Vanessa (my Shawn buddy) at this point has scooted up to me cuz everyone’s shifted and the people around me are like dude holy shit SHE DANCED WITH YOUUUUU

BYEEEEEEEEEEEE

Okay okay so after the whole album was played she gave us like the lowdown on the meet and greet portion and she passed out the target exclusive magazines for us to see while we waited and talked a bit about the making of them and why and things and she’s really pumped about them and they worked really hard to have them be affordable as possible and cut down the pages and things

And meanwhile like the whole night she’s so close that people would make comments and she’d hear and respond and it was so cute and amazing

Also I don’t think I’ve mentioned her outfit yet???  She’s been looking bomb at all of the other sessions and holy helllll she looked bomb like damnnnnnnnn she had on a black crop top and these high waisted and slightly folded down camouflage pants and these black boots and her hairrrrrrr this era is like natural curls and soooo damn cute

Okay okay so anyway we thought it was a greattttt idea to wait towards the end so we could stay longer and not go first and be done and sent home… yeah well it ended up being a not great idea because we ended up waiting two hours but I’m obviously not complaining one freaking bit

And she’s doing pictures in the other room so we can’t really see much for most of it but every so often we can see people talking to her and taking photos and it’s so cute it’d melt your hearttttttt

And so those of us that have bonded together at this point are like um shoooooot what pose and what the hell do I say to her??????? Like all week to my parents I was like ummmmm soooooo I’ve imagined this happening but like never thought it’d actually happen so unlike some people I had nottttt planned like a monologue of what I’d want her to know if I ever met her???? Like with Vance I was lost too but with my posters it was easier and I’ve seen him recently and yada yada but this is TAYLOR FREAKING SWIFT WHO IVE LOVED WITH MY WHOLE DAMN HEART SINCE I WAS FIFTEEN AND SHIT IM TEARING UP ON THE PLANE WHAT THE HELL DO YOU SAY TO HER WHAT DO YOU WANT HER TO KNOW YOU’VE GOT LIKE TWO MINUTES WITH HER GOOOOO

And so we were all really curious if she’d somehow recognize us because people have been saying that they walk in and she shouted their name! And I’m like idk if that’s gonna happen but might as well see if not just ask if she’s seen anything idk idk???

So okay buckle up for like the greatest time of my entire damn life

So I walk in and hug herrrrrrrrrrrrr

And I wish to god I can remember everything she said but I was focusing so hard on keeping it together and saying my bit that I know for sure what I said and can put together mostly something the general sentiment of what she said if not it exactly. So we’re huggingggg and I say I think hiiiii it’s so nice to finally meet you thank you for having me I’m so excited to be here or something and she’s like awww thank you for coming!! And I’m like I have to know how did we all get picked, was it by you or your team or how did it happen?? And I don’t know what the first part of her answer was but she says so the people from LA have been picked for about a year, and the people from elsewhere (I’m guessing with exceptions) have been picked more recently like within the past few months so like now I know it has nothingggg to do with whatever we’ve been doing online recently…. It’s from at least when she first came back if not before and they realized we were active while she was away….

And so I’m like okay ali say something else so I’m like so I really like making concert posters and the first ones I ever made were for you and shes like aw thank you!! And I’m like I realized other people were making posters and I’d been a RA and I was like hey I can make some really bomb posters tooooo. And so I’m like the fist ones said ‘Taylor someday we’ll meet you even if it’s just in our wildest dreams’ and she grabs me and is like AND NOW WE’RE MAKING IT HAPPEN!!! And so I say after I got the phone call I was in my car listening to Ready For It and started bawling when she sings ‘in my dreams, I know I’m gonna be with you’ cuz I knew it was actually happening and shes like awwwwwww or something you get the idea

And so then I straight up start talking about my dad???

I’m like so my dad loves you and she’s like omg and I’m like no he adoresss youuu and is so sad he couldn’t come and she’s like awww tell him hi!!! And I’m like he loves your Out of the Woods piano Grammy performance and I say how I’d found him listening to it repeatedly and he wanted it on his phone. And she’s like he sounds amazing! And I’m like he is he’s awesome lol and I’m like actually and so him and I went and saw you at F1 last year and of course I’m like and I made signs for there too and so I describe them IN DETAIL like what they said, I realized later I told her I was from Oregon, because I said they were the states and the dotted line and the paper airplane and I think she really liked that??? And as if that all isn’t already insane enough at some point in there I mentioned how this month has been insane and how I’d met Vance Joy and it was my birthday and now this and she said something excitedly about that like ahhh so much excitement or idk something about it. And so she’s like so what pose would you like to do? And I’m like I’ve really been going back and forth between just hugging or doing something sort of funny (low key said that hoping she’d be like girl let’s do both but lololol it’s okay) so she’s like it’s completely up to you!! And I’m like um um okay let’s just hug so she grabs me and we take the freaking photo and ahhhhhhhh

And so Vanessa and I had it planned out and she had me go first and at this point I was like would it be okay if my friend and I got a photo with you together and she’s like of course!! So V comes in and hugs her and we take one photo together and she squeezes us together tight and then I hug her one last time and thank her and say I love you so much (lol I had to throw it in other people forgot it and have been upset) and then I walk out and they hand me my merch bag and are directing me to the bus but I’m like can I wait for my friend and they’re like sure. So she comes out and she’s like SHE KNEW MY NAME SHSJEKOFN and she’s like yelling and I’m like shut up and I grab her and I’m like shhh shhhhh hahahaha and so we walk to the bus and it’s the funniest thing cuz they’re just waiting for it to be full so anytime someone new walks on everyone’s like SPILLLLLLLLL

And then once it was full we went back got our things, exchanged details with people on that bus and took photos and whatnot and turned our phones on to the madness anddddddd so well thats the story of the best damn day of my life

~

Taylor, thank you thank you thank for giving me such incredible memories that I’ve blown up the phones of every person I know, and have talked every person’s ears off that I’ve met during these past 365 days, about how special they are to me.  Thank you for making it happen, thank you for holding my gaze so intently and being so genuine every second I was talking to you, thank you for bringing me some of the best friends I’ve ever had, thank you for being so prominent in the highlights of not only this past year, but this past decade.  I love you forever, babe.  Long, long live October 22, 2017.

[16screamingferalrats]

Pregerant farts

pergernanannanant

Karts marts, mario

He is a duck

Lord it duck duck lord

Fiesta ya

Now for the headlinf entarce he is doin fhe impossinle

Ful loac the in phosifocal ywah

He he is

His name is paul

Enter now

Shir bitch where is he the fick

Shit beinc idk

Godh darkn emma

Vore you to hell in back

Hewo msr Hiddn?

Whos did?

Hiddin!

Im hiddgenns your not me you are

Fool, i ameth the emma! I haveth broughtnyour groceries from thou market once, as well you beith mh professor

Pronc?

Pronc.

Come in younginnn i have very many shotguns

Bam bam

Who is this twink you broughtn along bemmma

Emma: it is my timnk, he is the paul

Paul?

Yes paul.

Hes a comin?

He has a comin, yes.

Amazinf, come in paul twink lets, booze

Brere?

Yes! We have all. But first who ist thour?

Thos r my main bitches pronc

Who ist thou? U are purk

Tiddy: I am not

Hiddnr: you are

My shotguns are amazknf, they are gread, singeth the beginning of the rock

The rock?

The mo, sonfeth the moanne now or i will blam blam you heathens down to dimmsdale dimmadome

Moammma wake way

We singeth dost thou mack you happy pronc?

Yes, we will boozeth together and leave the sad kitty woman with her dying bigch

He is not a bitch he is my good man

He is to die, look at his blue shit

His brain shit?

Absolutely, what is this?

Brain shit, good sir.

Ansolurely bemma, you are hromg

/i dont know where sm the boozsee

Charline: So, husband, you are dead

I am lonely bc you are hot and police and will shoot me, not good

Horny, i am. Kittens

I will bring u kittens

Ted no more kittens cops will shoot me

I will eat his brainfs

U hornh fuck lets fuck on a cop car

Be horny do crimez

Not exactly burt i like ur enerhy ted

Paul, before this, went to a coffe shop and ordered some shit. He was like !!!! Big armm there sree small arm out there and amall arm was all

I will sing

Paul was not hallg, he got his coffee, her big bitch got the blue shits. Charlin g an her bichads cop hoe got ran in a truck stop, got pulled obver for honru. Hornh is bamned this is family friendly. Cops are bad but have hands, lots of hands, jazxx hands, manh hands, will shoot.

Back to bemma in ghe crib, Charline dies

But! I easnt to fuck tonn the cop car

U cannot

I wil! U dont me

Ted will me

I will eat ted

Do not

I will

)he east ted

Charline: shife fuck why

He had goot hand, likes jamcnf.

Charline: does he not live?

Shir, he doesn, fuck wahter sd

I will eat u too

No

I will fuck you on the cop car?

Fine

I lied, ill just eat you

Fair enough.

Charline gets mcwrapped in a nugget

We would kinglu appreciate toue deat thank touz

No my god do not death me, bemma is smol but cannot be comtaine, hou will let big arms bemma

Out

Don not

O god you are completley right but let me sinf the entirly of hamiltom

Procnn hiddnr : hamilton!! Fuck hamilton, feic of shir headdass i am the spirit of thomas jefferson and i will kick his ass

Paul: he is tomas jefferson, he will kcik your ass hamilton

Cop: i am not hamilton

Prom: shut to fuck up sing moannna hamiltom

I know all the lyrics

Because you are hamilton

I am not

You are, sinf moanna

I am moanna,

Says who

Says lin

Sing moana

No

Fine, fuck you bam bam

Paul: shit fuck wow

Charline: yiu will pau but first i am

To sing that one part in phatnom of the popra

Aaaaaaaaaaa

Hiddn: literallt shit the fuck up bam

Paul: o fuc they are dead and have a lot of blue shit, so much blie shit. Who will die off the blue shif nexts

Ben: i will

Paul: thats fair, you have a gag daughter tho

Ben: gays are immortla they have swords

Paul: shit bitch you is right, but we have to protect the straights

Ben: you are a noble twonk

We will ride at midnight

Hiddn: do not go

With that twink y’all death

Bemme: timothy shut the fcul up you trick ass bitch

Alic: guess what im dead

Ben: no ur not ur gay and john mulany powers u

Alex: thats true but im sad

Ben: this is not sad times gay, get out

Cels: no, you lieft me and i fell apart i punched the wlal and cried bam bam bam you left me and i changed a part anf set up all that truthfull shit inside so i built a bomb

Ben: you didnnot thats just bmc

Cled: thats not

Ben: wheres the bomb

Cels: you set it off in my heart, friendship is ober with dad now bombs and gays are mh friends now

Ben: shit i fucked up

Pail: we have to go shes emo

Ben: we cannot

Paul: okay well i have a girlfiend with big arms and no will to live back in oklahama and i need to get back to her bc i know she secretly knows moana and will not gide it for long

Ben: resonable

Hiddn: wmma, guess whost

Emma: whT

Ive been singing this whole fucking time

You were not

True, only on the inside

Okay, so?

I am clearly a homozexual

Okay.

I, i am thomas jefferson

That is untrue you are not tomas jefferson

I am. I will probe it to you

You will not bitch youll ge t the blue gay shit its in the air and tuens the frogs gay

It does not

It reallt doss

Okay shut up you useless futch i will sinf moana

You will not

I will, i am homozesula and must sing moana

Please dont, timothey

Its thimas:

Its not

I will stop your fucking show bitchass

I wll sinf with mh boyfrens

You do not have any boyfriends

Ibigth, i had fove, they were fun

Oh reallt

Yes and id throw pigs around

Thats not reallt

It is, we would through pigs

Ted: i have remateriwalxes

That is: pretty fucking ridiculous

You theough pigs?

Thats fair.

Well, im ted again.

Okay, well you seem pretty interested in my gay musical

Well thats because im not gay

You literallt fucked charline on a cop car

That was one time i mistook her for a twink

You gave her cats

Thats just peak wlw mlm solidarit

True, anyways i was gay once

We know

I theough pigs

We know

I will now summon the souls of my gays

Rise, queens

We rise i am greg

I do theoh pigs

Thats not fuckinf true pigs are large as shit

Okay well were done bein gay so eat out gay blue shit

I will not

Youwill

Fuck you bitchasd

I will get us out,

How

I will sing moana, thomas hates moana

Why

Hamilton is moana

O true, so are you just gonna die again or

Yes i will doe

Okay

Hello emma

Hellow twink

How are you

Not bad my gay teacher almost gave me the blue shit

Not good

No

Lets get the fuck out of here

Okay

Lets take the plane

Delta airline?

Dasani

No not fuckinf dasani thag shits bad

Fuck outra here i aint got no moneh bemma

Okay

Cop: this time i am green and have more guns

Okay

Fuck trans people

I will push you out of this copeted

Do it busdy

Paul pushed the terf armh cop man with lots of hans and he dies

Wow fuck the copters crabsing

Shit fuck their aint not autopilot

Ur the autopilot but your a twink and cant drive

Shit your right

Okah we will crahs

/they crabs

Bemma: shir bfch my leg

Paul: this aint spongebob get up

Emme: i will make out with you

Paul: im not a lesbian

Emma: inwill spir blood as a sacrifice?

Paul: optional

Emma: okay *bloods*

Paul: the sacrifice was not kindly taken but the gods are happy

Okay

I am thor

Okay

You are a lesbian

Okay

I will die for you

You will

Okay lit, have. Agood day

You too paul

The end

[beach-witch]

Why I hate Catra / a talk about Adora’s trauma (SPOILERS)

People are gonna hate me for this but hear me out:

It might be that i think about this show too much because i do reflect my own trauma on Catra and Adora meaning i relate to Adora and i fucking hate Catra, but this is my take on it

Both Catra and Adora were raised with an abusive tutor, Shadow Weaver. I can tell you from experience as my parents did the same that Shadow weaver did to me and my sister it is traumatic even if youre the one that they treat better. but this is the thing: Catra’s trauma was always obvious, you always could tell and she always recognized it. Adora’s trauma wasn’t obvious, she internalized this idea that she had to be perfect at all times and she accepted it as her reality, she never failed at anything because everything seemed so natural for her but when she did she got stressed out because if she wasnt good at everything then shes not worth anything, as shadow weaver told her, she constantly had to prove her worth and couldnt handle dissapointment and rejection. But she didnt even know she had this issue because she had internalized it so much as the normal that she first started realizing it when she escaped the Horde but she never accepted it, at least not yet, in the series we see how she kinda exteriorizes sometimes and she realizes and glimmer and bow do too but she never even had the chance to work on it, and its not that easy to do it either. Talking from experience.

So about that we could say Catra and Adora both had trauma from the Horde, but the show priotizes showing Catra’s trauma, poor Catra all the time because they wanted people to sympathize with her. 

When they separate Catra becomes a toxic person, its normal that shes in a crisis at first with shadow weaver’s pressure and all but  along the series she continues to copy shadow weaver, trying to be manipulative, trying to make everyone including Adora feel like the smallest thing alive. And i know that stands from the trauma Shadow weaver cause it but lets understand this. NO amount of trauma is EVER an excuse for doing bad things. She chose to say that, she chose to do that and she chose to cause the damage she did. 

She hurt Adora SO MUCH along the series. She could’ve chosen to start again with Adora OR to stay in the horde and not be part of the army, but she actively chose again and again to hurt Adora just so she could get her twisted revenge because she didnt know how to deal with her feelings and acted like a fucking child. And you may think poor Catra, she did that because she didnt feel safe, she had no friends, etc. Scorpia was her friend. She tried SO HARD to help her, excused her actions, saved her a lot of times becausee she truly loved her. And what did she get? yelled at, threatened, treated like a servant, constantly being treated in a horrible way by Catra. And when se finally understands Catra’s actions were harmful and nothing could excuse her and finally leaves Catra throws a fucking fit because oh no who am i going to abuse now?

It dissapoints me that the writers didnt pay attention to Adora’s trauma. It sure is fucking traumatic to see your best friend of your whole life torture you and manipulate you. (yes, i said torture. You think all those times she had her trapped actively being electrocuted dont count as torture? maybe you didnt realize it because they dont prioritize how Adora feels, only poor Catra). Adora had so much to deal with, so much responsibility on her, overwhelming life changes out of nowhere. She was willing to sacrifice herself MULTIPLE TIMES without stuttering just for her friends and this is not a good quality of her. Talking from experience here the fact that you dont care what happens to you in order to save everyone else is PAINFUL and horrible. She feels like she isnt worth anything, shes destined to be the protector of everyone, the sacrificed hero, she doesnt get to be happy, she doesnt get to decide and she doesnt get to live. I still remember the sensation in my body from when that happened to me. It was a sick sense of peace, it was so painful and i didnt even get to process it, im just starting to do it now with my therapist. And Adora went through the same. Even when the world was literallt falling apart she tried to save everyone, even Catra. And when it was the moment she was willing to die and happy to do it if that meant the wellbeing of the people she loved. She didnt care about her or her life. And when Angella sacrificed herself instead of her... that leaves a person with so much guilt. Survivor’s guilt. Because she isnt worth someone sacrificing herself for her, she doesnt care about herself or her wellbeing, thats a priviledge she doesnt get to have. And thats trauma. Thats suicidal. Even if shes not actively trying to kill herself she knows that she wont stutter to die for anyone. from sacrificing herself for a greater good. 

And it pains me so much the fact that they made her and the others just forgive Catra for all she did? and made only Catra suffer because of shadow weaver? thats just not ok. It is SO hard to forgive or even hear someone’s name when they caused you SO much pain. when you see their faces, when you listen to their voices, when you see their name somewhere you relive all that they did. All the damage, the pain and the trauma. Its not fun and its not forgivable. Catra doesnt deserve people forgiving her. She deserves to start a new like and make up for whatever she did there, but she doenst get to go around like nothing happened and she doesnt get to be Adora’s girlfriend.