#BUT IT ALSO UNEARTHED SOME STUFF I DIDNT WANT TO BE THINKING ABOUT?? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bananonbinary · 4 years ago

Text

Time for a Salty Meta Post about Martin!

people who’ve followed this blog for a bit know that spending six hours combing through text for some goddamn sources is my specialty, so i compiled every time jon ever talked about martin’s work in season 1. which for the record, he stopped complaining about all the way back in episode 26, where he was angry that martin of all people got hurt.

things jon gets mad at martin for:

not being able to find records that don’t exist

not being able to find someone based only on a first name

the Dog

not wearing trousers in his off-hours

being the one that got caught up in the jane prentiss thing

mag 004 and mag 012 both have jon taking potshots at martin over research that was proven accurate by outside sources

things jon has never once complained about:

martin not understanding the filing system and just putting stuff away at random

martin being clumsy, constantly ruining things, spilling tea everywhere everyday, etc

martin turning in incompetent, poorly-edited, or badly formatted reports

martin not understanding the terminology used, skills expected, etc., and generally being extremely new to the field

please for the love of god stop making martin the silly bumbling idiot who can’t do anything right just because he doesn’t have a formal education. there’s zero evidence for it in the text, and it’s really weird to act like a 4 year degree would outweigh the *10 years* of job experience he has, not just in academia, but in the institute itself by season one. my boy has worked there longer than ANY of the rest of the main cast. screw you guys.

tl;dr: martin is never once shown to be bad at his job, jon pretty much only ever gets mad at him for the really stupid first impression and also not finding stuff that no one else was able to find either. after martin got hurt, jon talks about his research basically the same way he talks about tim’s or sasha’s work.

fucking proof under the cut:

(i didnt include the s1 finale or martin’s statement bc that’s just...two entire episodes of them talking to each other, but there isn’t really any notable Martin Complaints in either of them imo)

I swear, if he’s brought another dog in here, I’m going to peel him.

[pre-launch trailer]

Well, technically three, but I don’t count Martin as he’s unlikely to contribute anything but delays.

[...] Alongside this Tim, Sasha and, yes, I suppose, Martin will be doing some supplementary investigation to see what details may be missing from what we have.

[MAG001 Anglerfish]

Martin couldn’t find any records of Ex Altiora as a title in existent catalogues of esoteric or similar literature, so I assigned Sasha to double-check. Still nothing.

[MAG004 Pageturner]

I had Martin conduct a follow-up interview with Mr. Woodward last week, but it was unenlightening. Apparently there have been no further bags at number 93 and in the intervening years he has largely discounted many of the stranger aspects of his experience. I wasn’t expecting much, as time generally makes people inclined to forget what they would rather not believe, but at least it got Martin out of the Institute for an afternoon, which is always a welcome relief.

[MAG005 Thrown Away]

Martin was unable to find the exact date the original house was built but the earliest records he could find list it as being bought by Walter Fielding in 1891.

[...]

We cannot prove any connection, but Martin unearthed a report on an Agnes Montague, who was found dead in her Sheffield flat on the evening of November 23rd 2006, the same day Mr. Lensik claims to have uprooted the tree.

[MAG008 Burned Out]

According to Martin, who was here when they took this statement, it was at this point in writing that Mr. Herbert announced he needed some sleep before continuing. He was shown to the break room where he went to sleep on the couch. He did not awaken; unfortunately succumbing to the lung cancer right there. Martin says the staff had been aware of how serious Mr. Herbert’s condition was, and had advised him to seek medical aid prior to giving his statement, but were told rather bluntly by the old man that he would not wait another second to state his case. I can’t decide whether this lends more or less credibility to his tale.

[MAG010 Vampire Killer]

“Veepalach” might also be a mishearing of the Polish word “wypalać”, according to Martin, which means to cauterize or brand. Admittedly, if Martin speaks Polish in the same way he “speaks Latin,” then he might be talking nonsense again, but I’ve looked it up and it appears to check out.

[MAG012 First Aid]

I sent Martin to look into this ‘Angela’ character - not that I want him to get chopped up, of course, but someone had to. Apparently, he spent three days looking into every woman named Angela in Bexley over the age of 50. He could not find anyone that matches the admittedly vague description given here, though he informs me that he had some very pleasant chats about jigsaws. Useless ass.

[MAG014 Piecemeal]

Martin declined to help with this investigation as he’s “a bit claustrophobic”

[MAG015 Lost John’s Cave]

There simply aren’t enough details given in this statement to actually investigate, short of Martin confirming that Mr. Vittery did indeed live at the addresses he provided.

[MAG016 Arachnophobia]

Oh, he’s off sick this week. Stomach problems, I think.

Blessed relief if you ask me.

[...]

I asked Martin to try and hunt down Mr. Adekoya himself for a follow-up, but have been informed that he passed away in 2006.

[MAG017 The Boneturner’s Tale]

MARTIN

Well, I need to tell someone what happened, and you can vouch for the soundness of my mind, can’t you?

ARCHIVIST

…

That is beside the point.

[MAG022 Colony]

Martin! Good lord man, if you’re going to be staying in the Archives, at least have the decency to put some trousers on!

[MAG023 Schwartzwald]

Martin found one other thing while combing through police reports for the Hither Green area. About a month after this statement was given, on May 15th, 2015, police were called out to once again investigate the chapel.

[MAG025 Growing Dark]

I know, but it would have to have been Martin, wouldn’t it? I mean, anything goes wrong around here, it always seems to happen to him. Anyway, we’re getting off topic. Why didn’t you report this?

[MAG026 A Distortion]

Martin made contact with the son, Marcus McKenzie, but he declined to talk to us, saying that he’d “already made his statement.”

[MAG027 A Sturdy Lock]

Tim and Martin had a bit more luck investigating Tom Haan, though only really enough to confirm that he seems to have completely vanished following his departure from Aver Meats on the 12th of July.

[MAG030 Killing Floor]

Martin’s research would seem to indicate the place employed a reasonable number of international staff they preferred to keep off the books

[...]

TIM

Ah well, that’s actually what he was asking, huh! Um, apparently Martin, uh, took delivery of a couple of items last week addressed to you. Did he not mention it?

ARCHIVIST

No, he… Oh, yes, actually. I completely forgot. He said he put it in my desk drawer, hold on.

[MAG036 Taken Ill]

#the magnus archives #LISTEN #i am once again asking people to remember that martin has MORE job experience at the institute than literally any other character #(except elias or i guess maybe rosie)#he's the goddamn veteran not the newbie #fan wank /

1K notes · View notes

bigskydreaming · 4 years ago

Note

I’m literally in love with the way you write Dick and Jason’s dynamic

Thanks, glad to hear that! Personal preferences aside, I honestly do think it just opens up SO many more potential stories if you go with the idea that they did have a brotherly relationship before Jason died, just they didnt get together around Bruce because Dick was still hoping Bruce would make the first move in reaching out to him. Rather than just stick with the usual assumption that because it wasn’t seen on the page, they had barely any interactions and both resented each other for various reasons.

But those reasons all trace back to Bruce, and if you look at them as two people who are united by the common experience of being fish out of water, adapting to the same environment after coming from DRAMATICALLY different origins, able to connect over that and understand each other in a way nobody else really can because nobody else has ever really had to straddle two worlds as definitively as Dick and Jason had to in their formative years....

Like, the big sticking point for me in the Dick vs Jason: The Grudge theory was just that....at the end of the day, these are two boys who grew up with very few loved ones to start with, or having had to deal with the loss of those loved ones.....

But one way or another......are these two specific characters really ones that make sense as wanting to reject the possibility of more family?

They’re connected through Bruce, like it or not, that was never going to change even from before they ever met......and the idea that Dick Grayson and Jason Todd would each be content to waste literal YEARS never even TRYING to connect with the person who was probably most like him and who by all accounts was already his brother in most ways just by way of Bruce...not even to see if maybe they COULD actually be brothers? To have family beyond just Bruce and Alfred?

Me @ every fic or headcanon that says Dick had Only Child Syndrome and resented Jason because of that: right because Dick Grayson of all people is anti-family. He’s full up with that one guy whose legal guardianship of him has been expired for a couple years and who he hasn’t spoken to since long before then.....nah, why would he want any more or any other family beyond that?

I mean, I absolutely believe that Dick was upset and hurt that Bruce adopted Jason while he’d never even offered to adopt Dick......but Dick has never been one to pass around blame instead of focusing it on its true point of origin. That’s his and Bruce’s issue. And honestly, there are TONS of reasons for Dick to be upset about that, without making it about Jason at all.

There’s literally no reason for Dick to take it out on Jason ever, if his biggest issue or grievance is that like....it feels like Bruce was just so done with Dick and considered him so out of his life, something like “just added a new kid to the family” didn’t seem like relevant information he should pass on to Dick despite the tenseness between them. When you have to find out from the NEWS that your old family unit just full on up and adopted this kid you’ve never heard of before now without even so much as a phone call.....there’s plenty of cause to feel like this is a message that you’re not really considered part of that family unit anymore, so why would you need to know?

Or like, the fact that Bruce didn’t consider hey I’m thinking of adding another kid to my family that consists of me and the kid I’m so afraid to tell I think of him as a son in case he doesn’t feel the same way, that I’ve sat back and let things get this bad between us and fester.....hey maybe before I issue adoption papers for a second kid, I should think about putting in an equivalent effort at fixing things with my first kid first?

Or why not write Bruce thinking: “Hey if I can’t even fix things with the kid I raised for almost a decade and think of as my own no matter how long its been since I talked to him.....what on Earth makes me think I’m qualified to take on a SECOND child?”

Like....Bruce was the one who held all the power and all the options, Dick had no other option but to go along with whatever Bruce decided Bruce was going to do, and neither did Jason really.....so there’s no real reason in my head that should be a point of contention between them or a reason to resent each other instead of just stressing to them the importance of having significant family ties beyond just Bruce because history clearly showed even at that point that best intentions aside, the man is fallible.

If anything, that should have been common ground!

I think there was like, an initial negative reaction of maybe one night, the first time they met and Dick even though he was prepared for it still had to adjust to the reality of actually seeing this stranger he was irrevocably connected to now by both his names, even if neither was technically his anymore....like to actually SEE him standing there in his old role....that’s gonna hit anybody hard.

But he also would have clearly been able to see that whatever else he may have been, this twelve year old Robin was still a kid, and one who hadn’t had a lot of time to ever be a kid in the first place.....which again, instant camaraderie, because boy could Dick relate.....remember, Dick may have had a happy childhood with his parents before they were murdered but it was also a childhood where he WORKED. He loves being an acrobat, he loved being in the show, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t WORK, that his childhood didn’t consist of training as long and as regularly as any adult acrobat while everyone else his age was running around playing outside and making friends. And after Bruce took Dick in, most of Dick’s free time was spent being Robin, training as Robin, etc?

Which IMO would have made him take one look at this kid in his old costume, literally standing where he had once stood, stepping into his old shoes.....and I think Dick’s real honest reaction once he brushed aside any kneejerk feeling of pain or bitterness the way he brushes aside all the physical pain he feels when out as Nightwing but refuses to let get in the way of him doing what he has to, doing what’s right....

Nah, Dick would have taken one look at this tiny kid full of fire and bravado but also so clearly eager to please, to be praised, to be told he was doing a good job and even without that he was worth something, his life had value, the world was better just because he existed......

And I think Dick’s bitterness about the situation would have crystallized into him resentfully thinking well B’s not exactly the best about dishing out affection or praise so I’m gonna make sure this little Mini-Me standing there in my old colors looking just as young and small as I must have looked then even if I didn’t realize it at the time....I’m gonna make sure I keep him supplied with a steady diet of “Nice Words and Gestures That Kids Should Grow Up Receiving Regularly.”

Dick has always been a firm believer that the best way to make sure something gets done is to do it yourself.

So yeah, I honestly do think that back during those days, Dick and Jason were thick as thieves when their schedules allowed for it, with it being simultaneously painful and unspoken that they had to like....work around Bruce’s presence so Dick could avoid him, but somewhat softened by the challenge and thrill of two brothers scheming to pull one over on the Big Bad Batdad every time the older brother wanted to take the little brother to go somewhere or do something, like, even just to spoil him rotten.

Cuz really....isn’t that a lot more interesting than ‘oh they barely ever even met back then and it wasn’t great, that’s it, the end’? There’s so much you could do with even just that, from them sneaking Jason out for a fun adventure that’s layered with just a hint of poignant angst because of the unspoken why of him needing to sneak out instead of them just saying hey Bruce, we need some bro time, Jason’s hanging with me this weekend? Or you dial up the angst and layer it with lightness or literally anything between those two points on a spectrum.

There’s so much Secret History potential buried back in those years....adventures they had together and never told anyone about, secrets shared between brothers they never shared elsewhere.....maybe Dick opening up to Jason more than he usually likes to, but here felt it might be the only way to get Jason to do the same, with Dick thus offering up some painful tidbit from his past that he never told even Bruce or Alfred for some reason, if he thinks Jason’s upset about something and needs to vent but will just keep insisting he’s fine unless Dick leads by example and goes first.

There’s so much potential for in-jokes that only the two of them know and everyone else is ENDLESSLY curious about, because everyone always forgets that those two have so much history because it was literally kept out of sight, out of mind, so they could keep it free of the friction that was bound to come of adding Bruce to the mix before their father cleared the air with his eldest first.

So its an easy thing to forget about or overlook, especially since it rarely comes up....but everytime it does rear its head via some private joke only they know or a reference to some event back then that everyone else is kept boxed out of having any context for....that’s the kind of stuff that would drive a family of detectives craszy, because they want to know! What’s the joke??

And yet its likely they’d never ask, because as curious as they are to hear about the mysterious missing years of the first two Wayne children, back when there was literally nobody else present to ask for details.....they never can figure out HOW to ask those questions, not when they’re equally aware of the swiftly hidden expressions of pain or bitterness that flash across the two eldests’ faces after each unearthing of some long-buried treasure they shared between them. Unable to ever escape the fact that each of those treasured moments would forever be followed with an inevitable reminder of why there were so few of those moments, in the end.

Why those years ended far earlier than they should have, and why their reunion upon Jason’s return was hindered and complicated by Dick’s obligation to other siblings Jason hurt while dealing with Pit after-effects and the lack of a strong support system while swayed to League sympathies...

And of course, ultimately there’s the reality that after the Adventures of Young Dick and Tiny Jason were cancelled far ahead of schedule, and that several year long intermission....by the time everything else was gotten out of the way, the stars of those earlier adventures were as long gone as the adventures themselves. Dick and Jason were both entirely different people by now.....still containing within each of them enough of who they were back then that those memories are kept carefully protected and hidden away, all the more valuable for how few and sparse they are, and how rarely they’re brought out to look at and enjoy.....

But with those vaults buried deeply enough within who Dick and Jason both are these days, that there’s a lot of blood and loss and pain you have to cut through just to reach that vault. There’s no retrieving anything from it without a cost. A cost worth paying, given that they can’t help themselves from calling back to it every now and then, even though they know the inevitable result is going to be end negative and not end positive. But still high enough to give them pause before actually doing so....holding back sometimes so the toll is doled out sparingly and over time. Getting greedy and trying to bring out/back/up too much too fast is far more daunting than either can afford to pay at the moment.

So that’s how I like to view the two of them and their dynamic back during and because of those early years before Jason’s death. Bittersweet and shaded by nostalgia.....temptation and warning both, in how much they want to revisit it but how much they fear ruining what they’ve managed to cobble together now by bringing the past too much into the light, comparing past and present too clearly and risking that being reminded too strongly of the brothers they were back then, will just make it impossible to ever be content with anything but that bond replicated in full and they’re not sure it can be, are both too afraid too much has happened since then and trying too hard, putting too much pressure on the dynamic they’ve built now could risk shattering the relative fragile bond completely.

Pretty much everything I write with the two of them, unless I specifically state otherwise via context, is generally written through that lens, with me viewing that as the backstory for their dynamic that I’m running with.

73 notes · View notes

vyvesvi · 5 years ago

Text

vyvesvi’s long awaited yesstyle review lmao :-)

ugh the keep reading isn’t working on mobile rip y’all sry

>a few Important things:

i just moved into my dorm yesterday so everything abt the pics and reviews to follow is a hot mess + i misplaced some stuff + didn’t bring it to my dorm bc it didnt work out (so i don’t have pics)

I’m not being sponsored in any way by yesstyle, i just don’t think there are enough black reviewers of yesstyle goods (but what does race have to do with anything, you may ask??? well, ppl come in all shaoes and sizes and the overlap between east asian sizes and body types and black body types is um. well. slim. that being said, i’ll give you some deets on me: i legit have no idea how much i weigh but im generally thin-ish with thicker thighs and a tummy pouch; height: ~169 cm, generally a US size S - M/4 - 6))

bc im not being sponsored, im not providing any (affiliate) links, just product names, sorry if that’s annoying

every yesstyle member (you become a member when you buy stuff) gets a reawrds code that takes a % off of my next order and the order that the code is used for, but I think it’s only like. 2% or smthng. message me and i’ll try to unearth my code if ur interested)

I ordered this stuff in two separate, similarly sized orders and the delivery time went like this (#1: ordered on- 2019-07-05 01:33 AM; split into two packages for some reason, received on like...july 22ndish? for some reason the tracking info isnt showing the delivery info. the 2nd part of this order, which was shipped a day later, arrived on the 19th. #2: ordered on- 2019-07-30 10:04 AM, received on 08/20, wasn’t expecting much bc it was shipped from hong kong during the protests but it was basically the same as the first order)

>the actual review part

i rly didnt wanna make a long post so just click for better quality sry lmao

edit: rip the quality if y’all want better photos @ me lmao

Dreamkura - Short-Sleeve Embroidered T-Shirt, Black - L

4/5- weird shape (really long sleeves for a short sleeved shirt, and really boxy too), and if you compare the placement and size of the patch vs. the one in the picture it’s not 100% accurate. still a cute shirt though so it’s fine

I sized up for an oversized look but I probably didn’t 100% need to

the black one is currently unavailable :/

camikiss - Seamless Under Shorts, Black - One Size

5/5- i wear these shorts too much. im wearing them right now. the ultimate safety shorts

the one size was a Risk but these shorts stretch well. maybe dont get them if you’re an XL and above in US sizes though

Lemongrass - Distressed Denim Shorts, Dark Blue - M

4.5/5- better quality than primark which. wow, did not see that coming

you have to cut the button hole (they seal it to show they they’ve never been worn apparently)

the button kinda like...jingles if you shake them vigorously, but it doesn’t happen when the pants are on, so it’s fine. still funny tho

im bad at wearing ripped shorts but if ur not i highly recommend

INKLEE - Round Buckle Faux Leather Belt - 105CM

5/5- kinda cheap but it does what I want which is hold my pants up lol

i could’ve sized down but that has way more to do with me not knowing my waist size lmao

Gwendolyn - Off-Shoulder Ruffle-Trim Blouse, White - One Size

4/5- i bought this bc it made me think “flyy like a butterfly” and all that jazz

it’s not my normal style but i really like it! it’s VERY sheer though

but I also got white so what did i really expect?

one-size was a risk once again but this shirt is pretty roomy, although it’s also kinda short...like not crop top short, but slightly difficult to tuck in short.

i would buy it again in black so i guess that says something

also i have like. freaky long arms (i can wave my hand over my shoulder with my arm behind my back and my elbow parallel to my torso...that’s such a weird description but uh. just know that my arms are long okay) and it didn’t look too indecent at the top to have the sleeves pulled down to my wrists! it’s a win!)

Moon City - Drop Shoulder Cardigan, Black - One Size

4.7/5- smelled weird when i opened it but I washed it and it’s fine!

one size risk but this one was also roomy af

the sleeves fit!!! god bless!!!

Edise - Couple Matching Elbow-Sleeve Embroidered T-Shirt, Black - L & White L

5/5- The white one was perfect and I love it! I sized like 2 sizes up for it to be a oversized but I would say it’s only abt 1 size oversized, if that makes sense? but I actually like it the way it is so cool lmao

3.7/5- the black one was really badly sewn on, but i reported it and got a new one for free so go me go yesstyle! they didnt give me tracking info *i think* and i wasn’t really waiting for it so it feels like it came fast lol

the moon is kinda a more awkward shape in person i think, but the stormy clouds were high quality and perfect!

i really like the material of the shirt!s it’s thick and soft and smooth? i’ve legit never felt a tshirt like that but im into it

DIYI - Plain High-Waist A-Line Skirt, Black - M

4.7/5- im wearing the outfit pictured right now and *TMI* the sewn in shorts are giving me a very very uncomfortably large wedgie tbh

it fits perfectly otherwise though

i feel like it’s one of the cheapest feeling things that i received, but it’s about forever21 quality but for only $11.45 so i’m 100% fine with it tbh

TREEZIN - Plaid Mini Skirt, Dark Blue - M

4.7/5- it’s very cute and fits perfectly! kinda shirt though and there was like 1 loose thread

the brown in the skirt isn’t super noticeable which i don’t really mind...overall i’d say that they lightened the photos considerably, which effects the color of the skirt

no safety shorts but idrc

pretty thick material

the final stretch thank god

Manicotto - Mock Two-Piece Sleeveless Mini Dress, Check - M

3/5 pretty cheap material. the skirt is true to size, but the top is like two sizes too small (i don’t have that much boob but it was still too much for this poor, poor, top). they come as separate pieces, so i brought the skirt to school with me and left the top at home. im not sure what i would tell someone who wanted to buy this abt sizing, bc of the dramatic discrepancy btwn the sizes.

A’ROCH - 925 Sterling Silver Dinosaur Earring, 1 Pair - S925 Silver - Gold - One Size

4/5, very cute, VERY small (dainty, sure) and good quality! my only complaint is that either it’s not real silver or whatever it is that they used to make them look gold is something that im allergic to. my ears got itchy

A’ROCH - 925 Sterling Silver Ear Cuff1 Pair - Cross - Silver - One Size

4.7/5, definitely 100% silver. i’d love to wear them but with my move i can’t find either pair of the earrings

they only sell them as 2 of the cross cuffs or 2 of the parallel cuffs which is annoying bc they’re pictured together but they’re good enough and cheap enough that i’d buy the parallel ones in a separate order

Euphrasia - Oxford Crossbody Bag, Black - One Size

5/5 one of my best buys hands down

its ugly cute but it’s so useful

it has so much storage space for such a small bag

im in love

Jansi - Set of 3: Heart-Embroidered Socks, Black + White + Blue - One Size

4.5/5 i wanted the dark gray that’s pictured but they edited the hell out of that photo so the blue that i ordered is actually the gray sock pictured

really comfy and cute! esp with the tops of the hearts peeking out over the tops of high top converses??? i love it sm

i have big feet and they fit me, so they’d fit most ppl i think

Ashlee - Cuffed Denim Shorts, Light Blue - M

2/5, a horrible disappointment part 1

maybe i shouldve sized up more but the critch area just fits SO BADLY i left these at home

i would return but im not paying for return shipping to hong kong so i’ll donate them

they’re also cute really badly like they don’t taper in at the waist at all

no human person is shaped like that pls ashlee

they get a 2 bc they are shorts and they sent me the right color

Rosehedge - Pleated Mini Skirt, Black - S

3/5, a horribly disappointment part 2

i shouldve sized up idky i didnt

i can actually fit into them and zip them up and everything but it’s so so short that you can basically see my entire safety short covered butt and it kinda bulges between the top of the tiny sewn in safety shorts and the actual skirt

wow thats a weird sentence sorry but you get it

has thousands of good reviews though, way more than anything on this list so that must count for something right?

3 bc it’s kinda my fault

Regalia - Faux Leather Wallet, Black - One Size

5/5 beautiful lots of storage space but still very compact, would buy again

the “forever young, made in korea” is kinda ugly but what can you do?

Prinsis - Printed Socks, Dinosaur - White - One Size

3.5/5 they’re cute, but the design is so but that you can see halves of it on the front of the sock, which is very ugly

notice how on the site every pic is taken from the side? not a coincidence

they fit fine and are comfy though

>okay that’s it thank god!

>lmk if you have any questions!!!

(@gowon-yyxy)

#ys saga #yesstyle #yes style #yesstyle review #i see there is not a market for this tag #oh well #im not editing this im too tired

6 notes · View notes

fredheads · 6 years ago

Note

does fred still have the journal he kept when he was at the sisters? did he ever show fp after he told him about his time there? i need to know

ooh boy we have a couple options here

i kind of think he left it there? he needed a fresh start and it would have been incriminating as hell if ANYONE ever read that - his family who knew about his addiction could never know he was gay, and his friends who knew he was gay could never know he’d been in rehab. I think he filled the whole journal with cramped, sweaty, shaky, desperate writing - nothing he’d want to look back on and re-read. but it was cathartic as hell to get it all out and leaving it behind was cleansing too. he always meant to pick up journaling in the outside world, but high school gets busy, and it never really happened.

so lets say he tossed it in the sisters of quiet mercy to be recycled. but they at least photocopied the whole thing for his file, if not kept the book. so those words still exist somewhere linked to his name. so its possible that if archie/jughead/fp does enough digging in the nunnery basement they could unearth fred’s old journal and fp could read it. (also... imagine if he had gone through a few sessions of conversion therapy and repressed the memory. the journal would have those details down...)

or maybe he does still have it, in a memory box somewhere with a bunch of old high school stuff. the kind of thing fp would stumble across while they were spring cleaning and smile fondly at. the kind of thing he might crack open... and be confronted with a million versions of his name, with freds desperation and devotion and loneliness from this space of time that fp didnt even know had happened. an uneventful summer he probably forgot about, not knowing that fred was going through this hell all on his own.

but those two are assuming fp comes across it by accident... fred giving him the journal to read means freds being vulnerable with him, trying to come to terms with that part of his life, willing to let fp see the darkest places he was in, giving him everything... being honest finally..... thats emo as hell too especially if its part of their shared recovery process....

i know for a fact that regardless of whether he showed him the journal or not he showed him the picture he kept on his bedside while he was in rehab. the one that was stained and bleached and worn out and creased from handling. the two of them together, young and happy, and told him how that kept him going even through the worst nights. because he’d want fp to know how invaluable he is to him, and how strong he makes him, and always has.

of course all this involves fred straight up confessing to fp that some twenty-five years ago he lied to him about where he was for a summer and that he had a teenage addiction, detox, rehab and recovery process that fp had no idea even happened. which has gotta be a hell of a thing to hear. so maybe he gives him the journal to soften the blow, as a promise that he never stopped thinking about him or regretting the secret.... ooh baby

#wow......#fred andrews #fredsythe

7 notes · View notes

insidiousflame · 7 years ago

Text

It’s been a while since I’ve written on here. I guess cause I never really feel the need to vent about anything. Which i guess, if you think about it, is good? But I find that these are therapeutic for sorting out my thoughts and I kinda feel like my brain is spaghetti atm. lol I’m taking the days as they come. I got casted in Howl-O-Scream at Busch Gardens. All I know is that I’m in the house Unearthed. Chris has gotten my hopes up about playing the character Scarlet who looks absolutely amazing but...one of the years, she wasn’t even in that house anymore. So, I’ll more than likely be playing some quick scare role with no substance. lol.....Well, at least it’s not a regular job. I shoulda found out who i was playing when i got my papers but for some reason the lady didnt write mine down for me which is annoying. Cause I don’t go back till the 24th. So I’m stuck in anticipation of what I’m doing. Moving along, I’m so hype for fall/Halloween season! They already have some halloween stuff out and agh im so excited about it all. They always have the coolest stuff I want to decorate my own home or room. Chris bought a couple things. I truly love Fall. I think my love for Fall and winter is about the same. But I say i love winter more because thats when this southern state actually gets the cold weather I love. I’m still creating music for youtube and doing voice work here and there. Luckily money has come in when it’s most needed. And chris was generous enough to give me the money to afford my face medication. But now, theyve changed their plans. Now instead of getting that bottle that lasts me a few months, they changed it to a smaller one. And the regular one is DOUBLE the price. I’m fucking crushed. It’s the only thing that has helped my acne and now it’s going to cost me even more when i can barely afford it now. I do have a slight hope for a better option though. My blood test results finally came in. I have an underactive thyroid like my mom (thanks mom). Which explains SOOOO MUCH of my issues. Such as my constant lethargy, my hair loss, temperature sensitivity and so much more. And who woulda thunk, its also hormone related which can effect my ACNE. So if I start the medication to help make up for my thyroid issue....maybe...just maybe my terrible acne will clear up too. Relationship wise, theres not much to say. Me and Chris are doing great as ever. I’ve also expressed to him about my lack of interest in magic compared to his and...it did really make him sad. But he’s accepted it. I do find myself very uninterested when it comes to him talking about magic ideas all the time...and watching his magic shows. But, it’s his passion, and I respect and support him with it. So if I could listen to him and give the support i can, its the least I can do. After all, he’s SO supportive and encouraging when it comes to my ‘passions’ n stuff. But I certainly don’t bring it up as constant as he does with magic. lol I can’t help but begin to tune out sometimes. And I do feel bad for that. lol At least he’s actually working on his goals and dreams. Me on the other hand...lol I don’t even know where I’m going with what I’m passionate about. I’ve been trying to ask myself who I want Mocha to be. Who is Mocha Vampire? She’s a girl who loves to sing. She enjoys acting. Annnd every now and then, maybe does a little something different with whatever strikes her interest at the time. My resources are limited and my work is with light effort but enough to make it sound decent enough for my satisfaction. I mean...how could I make myself stand out enough to people that they want to see more and stick around and become my fan? But also, maybe I shouldn’t even worry about that. But again, shouldn’t I aim to make something great of myself? But great at what? Singing? I can’t create my own instrumentals. And I’m not driven and passionate enough to chase acting. I just...don’t have the right resources and opportunities right now to really branch out and be more ‘legit’ i guess. What I do right now can be just seen as a ‘hobby’. There’s this pressure that...I gotta make money from this. I gotta work harder and figure things out in order to get popular and make money. Money to survive. That’s just the life goal right now. I have to figure something out like that. I have to. I dont have a fucking choice because everything is pushing me. But what if I can’t? If I can’t, then I’m a failure. Then I’m in debt to my parents. Then I will not progress in life. I can’t move out of my house or live with my boyfriend or get married like we want to. I won’t be able to do ANYTHING. Whether I like the reality or not, money is the end game here. But I don’t want that to ruin what I love to do either. Who knows, maybe sometime soon I will start feeling better and maybe something will happen to help me change things. 7 months out of work....wow. But yet, things really have fallen into place for me when I’ve needed. I’m going to be in debt for a month, but I was just hired on so I can pay my parents back. It may mean I will literally have no extra money but...it’s keeping me afloat. When will I figure it all out, i wonder? Is youtube what I want to make my career? It hasn’t had the best track record in recent times, but right now, it’s the only option I got. It has allowed me to share myself and my music with the world. All I can do, is keep doing what I enjoy doing. To keep having fun. To keep doing what I can despite my circumstances. I don’t know what else to do. Playing by the rules of this world....just doesn’t seem to be for me.

0 notes

irregodless · 7 years ago

Text

so i just finished virtues last reward and im kinda angry because now life is strange kinda makes sense

DISCLAIMER: so its been like.... what.... two or three years since i even watched someone play it? im going off of what i remember which means POSSIBLY i didnt remember an explanation or didnt pay proper attention to it, so be warned

DISCLAIMERx2 COMBO!!!: this is probably some old ass news but even in the height of its popularity i kinda came into the story late and even then i wasnt crazy about it. it was good. i really enjoyed it. but it was easier for me to kind of passively mock it for having bullshitty trumped up time logic. the reason for this AND FOR MY FIRST DISCLAIMER MOSTLY is because the game doesnt really explain it to you or why anythings happening. which is fair i guess. max isnt really a time travel geek or a scientist and short of having mr “time guardian” come out and exposition dump there wasnt much to do. maybe if warren was our protag he wouldve figured it out but i cant really blame max for NOT. especially since it was reality for her. to us we can examine it objectively and understand the rules governing it as we observe the limitations. i mean for all she knew she couldve gone back in time three times and it be over and she could never do it again ever

for my explanation ill be referencing 999 and its sequel zero escape virtue’s last reward as well as homestuck (because for all intents and purposes it makes intelligent use of time travel and with colloquialisms that make it sort of easier to digest than just abstract names.) naturally some spoilers may apply to all three as well as life is strange (obviously)

if you boil the story of life is strange to its most core element, itll start to make sense. life is strange in its simplest form is this: “max caulfield solves a murder/kidnapping mystery.” everything else that happens is just kind of extra or a direct component to that outcome.

i would often complain about how max could get mr jefferson arrested and save kate with her time travelly powers but not chloe when she couldnt have done anything about those things without her power either. i was under the assumption that her abilities were an anomaly and the universe was trying to fix itself by voiding out her effects on the timeline (ie saving chloe). but in retrospect thats kind of really dumb!! why make a story where the protagonist can travel through time but then have the story ultimately be about the universe trying to make it so that everything was the same as before??? it’s silly!! so heres the thing: it was not about that. it was about max getting the information she needed to ultimately solve the mystery (and save kate i guess. im not sure how contingent her survival was to the timeline being “alpha” but if you want to say God or the Sentient Timespace Universe [”Skaia”] were in control of the outcomes and thus dictating maxs actions mayb u could say They wanted to reward kate for being such a devout follower??? maybe her life or death was ultimately inconsequential to the outcome and it couldve gone on with or without her and max was just a good person and saved her. its hard to tell.)

in homestuck there are doomed timelines. timelines wherein something goes wrong that was NOT preordained by skaia (the self-aware universe, essentially, trying to maintain homeostasis in itself) or that directly cause a paradox. one example is davesprite. an action that causes a doomed timeline is john getting himself killed (with a little help from terezi) which leads to a strand where rose and dave are stranded in their game for months. dave then goes back along the timeline to the point that determined whether or not it became doomed. although incidentally, it was the act of him going back in time to stop john from killing himself that splintered the timeline between doomed and alpha (the right one)

thus the doomed timeline was necessary for the alpha timeline to be sustained. and thereafter it ceased to be. in other doomed timelines it either disappears entirely as with davesprites timeline, or everyone just DIES like in the one where vriska and gamzee collectively get everyone killed. it’s the price u pay for not playing the part the universe wrote for u

so in order for max to go along her story to figure out mr jefferson was.... who he was, she had to slip through doomed timelines. timelines that ultimately purged themselves if they went on too long by the means of the big storm. something similar happens in 999 where a certain character gets sick if the story goes in a direction that would lead to a paradox and cause them to not have existed. and if the timeline becomes too far gone, they vanish entirely. this is basically the role of the storm. its not to eradicate the stuff max had done with her powers because she “shouldnt have had them” but because that timeline shouldnt have BEEN to begin with! max was SUPPOSED to have her powers. whether it was all morphogenetic fieldy sciencey reasoning or if “skaia” gave them to her to solve this case, who knows, but its not really all that important.

i could probably explain some of this more easily by using the name of paradoxes, but i forgot most of the official names for them and my computers being kinda silly so i dont feel like taking the time to look them up srry

anyway

max alters the timeline by stopping chloe from dying. they then go on this great big adventure where chole is the ONLY person who could have possibly helped max unravel the mysteries. which i think is fair to say she was the ONLY person to be capable of it bc of her stepdad and her rebellious attitude!

so the two go on adventures and discover what i figured out within the first five minutes of story: MR JEFFERSONS A HORRIBLE PERSON

and chloe dies a bunch along the way because while shes needed to solve the mystery, shes STILL doomed. its like in final destination. you can run from death and avoid a few attempts on your life for a WHILE, but youre still slated for death and gonna die eventually. im not sure it was the universe trying to clear her out like an antibody so much as it was... she was just more susceptible to danger. it also could have been to make maxs powers stronger. the 999 series puts an emphasis on the psychic-y powers being strengthened and honed through LIFE THREATENING SCENARIOS

now in both 999 and vlr (i havent referenced the latter nearly as much as i thought i would!) the events of the games essentially unfold because certain characters figure out that... well... thats what happens!!! so they recreate the event so that it DOES happen so that they CAN have these abilities. they hone their abilities to see and interact through time so that they can avoid MAJOR DISASTERS and fix them, all the way establishing the very parameters that allow them to do so in the first place!

so small summary:

max gets the power to swap out her consciousness from a certain place on the timeline. she does so to save chloe (as a good person and for sentimental purposes) chloe proves to be the key to discovering the mystery behind the shady shit going down at the school she was still ultimately supposed to die though so she dies a bunch along the way because thats just what she does best by working alone doomed timelines where chloe is the only one who can help unearth the mysteries (and to be fair she deserved to be there too since it DID involve her ex-girlfriend) max finally discovers mr jefferson is basically straight up evil and can go back and use the information from her travels to bring him to justice chloes still supposed 2 die tho so shes either wiped out with the timeline by means of the storm that fucks up everyone elses life or she dies unceremoniously in the bathroom because one way or another: SHE WILL DIE max then uses the information to expose jefferson. its kinda weird but i guess paradoxically makes sense that the alpha timeline dictated that for life to progress properly, max had to just MAGICALLY know it was him. (maybe it meant to import me into the game so i couldve called him out as soon as i saw him. or maybe it was only one option. like kate living or not. max can expose him and save the day OR it can go on and be terrible. but that one doesnt have any justice in it so.....) kate lives and thats important? maybe?

basically it was not about trying to undo maxs “rulebreaking” powers

but it was about ENABLING them to do the job the universe/”skaia” (not that life is strange even.... HAS a skaia, but its easy for terminology) had planned for her. which was to fuck over jefferson HARD

the only problem is that to my memory the game never explains this is whats happening. and so when chloe dies youre like “wow nothing mattered.” but the game was never about saving chloe. it was always only ever about solving a kidnapping/murder mystery

it was ALWAYS about that

chloe was never going to stay alive. ever. the final choice was whether or not to return to the alpha timeline or not stay with her as an act of love and get wiped out along with the timeline

but the game doesnt explain this. or how the time travel powers came about or how they work or what they are AT ALL (from what i remember) so it all just seems convoluted and bullshitty

but in reality there IS something driving it. it only took me playing two other games to actually understand what that was.

which is why im not sure i can actually give the writers credit for it because i dont even know if THEY knew what was up or if they just made it up and it was just convenience i was able to apply meaning to it

the fact they (again as i remember) didnt address it in the game makes it really suspect though! and it makes it hard to support them as having done something intelligent. especially when it ended up with tons of players feeling cheated because it fell in line with popular “the illuion of choice telltale style” game lines. so when the final moment came it confused them because nothing informed them that it was ALWAYS a quest of futility and despite maxs emotions or feelings about it, it was never about saving chloe. she was only a tool to achieve the goal of outting jefferson

which i cant say i totally approve of from a general point of view! especially in light of “bury your gays.” but from a time travel-esque mechanic point of view.... yeah it makes sense....

but it doesnt really leave a good feeling. because max and by proxy the player were always under the misunderstanding they could save chloe when in reality they never could.

and the entire game was just. a quest of futility. (in that regard)

but we didnt know. to make it proper, the game shouldve let us into the secret. even if max didnt know and felt cheated at the end, the audience wouldnt feel the same. itd be dramatic irony. wed feel bad but wed know why it had to happen.

anyway, as the Old Woman says in virtues last reward:

“Death was always inevitable.“

#well im ALMOST DONE #i cant have more than like thirty minutes of dialogue yet but as i was digesting the timeline it hit me

0 notes