#BUT I JUST KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE WOULD FUCK IT UPPPP

[justsomespace]

Why the fuck do I see posts about potential muppet movies where people keep saying “who would you pick as the one human actor? 🥰” IN WHAT MUPPET MOVIE IS THERE ONLY ONE HUMAN?? NONE OF YOU UNCULTURED SHITS HAVE ACTUALLY WATCHED A MUPPET MOVIE THEYRE AN INTEGRATION OF HUMANS AND MUPPETS AND ITS SO CAREFULLY WELL DONE THAT I STILL HAVENT FIGURED OUT THEIR CASTING PROCESS

[hymnoeides]

almost got into a fistfight online today because people were ragging on odysseus and saying he was a hypocrite for being upset that eury killed helios’ cattle when he killed the cyclops’ sheep. HE DIDNT KNOW!!!!!! HE THOUGHT THEY WERE JUST RANDOM SHEEP!!!!!!! EURY KNEW THE CATTLE WERE THE FUCKING SUN GOD’S CATTLE!!!!!!!! Ok im calm again. i’m just a passionate ody lover and bark when people are mean. like dude thats the king of ithaca. 💢💢💢

STAAANDDD UPPPP ANON!!!!🗣️🗣️ SPEAK UR TRUTHS. Sure there are facepalm worthy moments all throughout, but it’s all very much human of them in the end imo.

Especially so in the original Odyssey (which I know it’s different from Epic canon, but I want to yap now that we’re here sorry) Odysseus and Polyphemus’ scene is known by many as a prime example of the violation of xenia not from Odysseus, but Polyphemus. Odysseus and his crew, sure, went into the Cyclops’ home to kill and take some sheep, but they were actually aware that it was someone’s abode. When you show up to someone’s house as a guest, you’re expected to be fed. Maybe they were a bit impatient with taking the sheep? Well they were a hungry bunch🤷 Not to mention the wine Odysseus had and offered Polyphemus? If I recall correctly rn, it was in fact all intentional as a trade. Odysseus and the group willingly stayed in Polyphemus’ cave for him to come back to do the trade instead of just running off with the sheep. They didn’t know Polyphemus was a monster that had no regards for the laws and the doom that would follow.

Even in Epic, Odysseus tried to reconciled what they’ve done with the gift of wine. Polyphemus chose not to take it properly as an exchange and even mocked them with the ‘you’ll be the last to die’. If you really wanted to choose something to fault Odysseus with there, his hubris is right there!!!! Just a man at the end of the day, what can I say. This concept of violating xenia very much comes back with the suitors, their treatment of beggar Odysseus especially, but I’ll spare you the geeking out. Adding on, ik the concept of time is vague in Epic and it definitely was a lot shorter judging Mutiny, but in the og, the crew were literally stranded on the island for a month iirc. They were constantly starving. Hunger can be a strong motivator. I also wouldn’t be surprised if the crew were also lowkey so low on hopes they would ever get home that it was very easy for them to break, but I digress ajsjakaja

[yanderesimp2000]

Yan Adam x Fem reader Chap 3/5 someone else DARES TO FLIRT ON YOU !MINORS STAY AWAY

CHAP 1 https://www.tumblr.com/yanderesimp2000/745338401920860160/extreme-yandere-adam-x-fem-reader-chap-15-start?source=share

CHAP 2 https://www.tumblr.com/yanderesimp2000/745426251094818816/extreme-yandere-adam-x-fem-listener-chap-25?source=share

Tags, Cuddles, kisses,protective, 9 feet size diff , wing snuggles, daiquiri?!, RIBS?!!,horny listener

TWS, Manipulation, Violence (not on you), someone trys to SA you (NOT ADAM), Alcohol, Yanderery, Adam being a incel and misogynist, blow job, and brainwashed reader

btw this takes place in a universe where Adam won the Battle of Hazbin hotel and killed all the main hazbin hotel cast also PLEASE GIVE ME REQUESTS

my english might be bad I'm from Armenia

BTW RUSSIAN AND ARMENIAN TRANSLATIONS COMING SOON

it been about 3 days since your little "illness" stopped affecting you Adams gonna back to work making your lonely he's only here at night so he cant give you the attention you desperately crave "like a little fly to soda" Adam described your attention craving

His mansion he keeps you locked up in is cool to live in it had 5 floors and everything you could want like,pools a huge kitchen and dinner room, multiple living rooms a indoor theater but it's never engough your just counting down the days Adam dosnet have to do first man stuff for 7 whole days strait and you will get all the attention and love you want

as you sat on your bed watching Tv some reality TV show you here someone unlock the front door "what upppp Baby" It was Adam you rushed over to the door and he gave you a hug "ughhhhhhh today was soooo boring sera was being a bitch again something about You cant banish random people to hell because you dislike them like bitch? im fucking Adam I can do whatever I want I'm god first creation and his favorite so you can go eat shit" the way Adam described sera just made you hate her all you could think was is "how could she disrespect him does she know who he is you should be lucky to be in his presence" but you just said "yeah I know seras a bitch I know I know" Adam was happy to hear that at said "well atleast someone understands even lute is on Sera side"

adam groaned before Slumping down and laying down on the couch before saying " hey babe do we still have so raw ribs in the fridge" he said You then said "I'll check" before opening the fridge to see the rack of ribs he brought home one day you then said "yeah do you want me to make them" you said in your soft caring voice adam LED mask lit up and he said " YES YES YES FUCKIN MAKE THEM" Like a ecstatic puppy when you bring out his food

you then start to cook them Adam always thought that It was your job as a women to do the house work and cook and clean for him and you agreed since for some strange reason you could not remember what you life was like before he Married you so you just blindly agreed to everything he said once you were done seasoning the ribs you put them on the slow cooker for 2 hours before laying down on the couch with him like you always do

he started to snuggle you before telling you the same story's he always tell you "did I tell you about that one time this bitch girl that was Lucifer daughter came over and took me to court over the extermination it was sooooooo annoying then we killed them all and it was fuckin great" he said proud of himself "yes babe youve told me" you said Slightly annoyed

Adam then said "ugh this couch is too small were gonna go to the bed" he then picked you up with one hand like he always does and just carried you over the the bed and placed you on it before also laying down on the bed " your my little teddy bear y'know that small helpless... weak you have to rely on me for shelter safety and protection and that's Just the way I like it" he softly and gently cooed "and the world is dangerous their would be sooo many creeps that would try to take advantage of you and take you away from me so you should never try to leave its too dangerous" he said gently but very firm and something about it your mind just agreed with him " he was right you should stay with him" was all your little brain could think as you nuzzled into him

when you nuzzled into him he was surprised but loved it "ohh someones a little love bug today" he teased before starting to kiss you on your forehead his wings starting to wrap around you two creating a soft little fort as you two were snuggling you noticed some knots and dirt on Adams wings which just bothered you so much you started to clean and prune them this surprised Adam but he just giggled a little "sorry my wings are a little dirty but its always nice to know someone can take care of them for me" you walked out of the bed and grabbed the brush to brush his wings like the good little wife you were he giggled and cooed over this you just dropped everything to clean his wings as you were doing that he felt your wings " if only I could take care of myself like you do I'm a fucking mess" a complained "your wings are so sleek and soft they always look like its your first day in heaven and mine are dirty and rugged" he groaned "but hey I have you and your such a good wife you just clean them for me" he laughed

when you were done cleaning his wings he praised you like you were a toddler "wow I look so pretty, what ever would I do without you, Their so sleek and shiny just like yours,how could you do all of this so quickly" this coddling was interrupted by the buzzing of the oven that had the ribs in them " fuck yeah' he yelled before jumping out of bed and running towards the kitchen as you followed behind him to take them out when you took them out Adam just grabbed one of the burning hot ribs and shoved them in his mouth you looked at him shocked but he said " fucking delicious thanks babe" you heard the ribs FUCKING SIZZLE WHEN HE PICKED THEM UP

Besides that concerning discovery the dinner was pretty good he talked to you and seemed to enjoy the ribs a lot making your heart happy he then groaned "welp that was nice time for bed" you weren't tired and said "w-wait" but I was to late he picked you up and walked to the bed and threw you guys down on it " I said it was time for bed" Adam growled ignoring your protests as he feels asleep you were forced to sit their smushed in-between his arm and his chest For another 3 hours before you finally fell asleep against him

3 days later

it was finally the day were Adam got 7 whole days off no doing angel stuff he promised you guys would go do something and now you were he was dressing you up looking thur dresses while he was in his classic robe attire you guys were going to his favorite club for a date and you were so excited 1 because it was your first time out of his mansion in 2 months and 2 he was actually taking you on a date

adam then showed you a nice baby blue dress that fir very tightly on you he then said "yes yes that's the one so everyone will know how fucking smoking hot you are and THEY CANT HAVE YOU because your alllllllllllllllllll mine" the dress was very tight but you said it was okay because he said it looked cute on you so it had to

He then said "okay were both ready so lets go" you two walked out the door and heaven was just a pretty as it always was the huge building all the gold and marble and just everything as you two walking you heard people mumbling "how did Adam pull that girl" "must of bribed her or something" "wow shes hot shit" but you didn't humor them ignoring them and just focusing on Adam as you two walked to the club which he always talked about so you knew it was gonna be a lovely experience

as you two rounded the corner he said "prepare to be blown out of your fucking mind" then you saw it big flashy signs and a bouncer that said "come in sir" when he saw you and adam" when you two walked in you were seated in one of the best seats in the club were he ordered himself a large daiquiri and you a small red wine you guys drank and talked and listened to music as he blabbered his head off about story's that he told you a billion times but you didn't mind at all and you were with him it was all fine

Adam started to get a little drunk and started to get even more touchy and affectionate then he already was "nice t-t-tits bitch" he said words slurred "T-thank you" you said felling flattered but a little insulted at being called a bitch " can I have my rib back" Adam said before erupting in laughter "its okay even though you came from my r-rib your m-much fuckin hotter then in" he teased again before saying "when we get home I'm gonna fuck ya hard yeahhh gonna knock ya up give ya babys make ya all round gonna baby trap ya then you could Neva leave me" he said words slurred you were slightly annoyed by this and said "Adam having babys would be wonderful but I would never leave you, you know that right?" you said trying to reassure him "yeah yeah I fucking know I was just fucking around bitch" Adam said laughing a little before saying " I gotta fuckin piss I'll be right back" before standing up and leaving

you sat their fiddling with you thumbs waiting for adam to return when an angel came up to you he was unattractive in your standards so you didn't bat an eye that was until he said "hey baby you could do sooooo much better then him you know that" you tried to ignore him but he persisted "he treats you like trash right yeahhh I bet he does I would treat you like the queen you are" you get angry and said "fuck off I'm not going out with you or leaving him" the angel looks offended but then says well then I'll just give it a little sample then before punching you to the ground holding you down before trying to touch you private area he didn't even seem to notice Adam walking over to the stall

2 seconds later he was ripped of you and adam had never looked so angry before "YOU DARE TOUCH MY WIFE IN MY CLUB EVEN AFTER SHE SAID NO" he said in-between punches "Scum like you have no place in heaven" he said before snapping his fingers opening a portal to hell "wait no no no no no no please I'm sorry please nooooooooooo" he said before being sucked in before the portal closed Adam was panting looking like a rapid animal everyone in the club was looking at him " lets go babe" he said before grabbing your hand and flying out of the club back home

When you got home Adam said "fucking scum trying to hit on you I'm sorry you had to see that but he deserved it" he said still fuming "it's okay Adam" you said gently trying to calm him down but God he was so hot when he was angry it just brought out his dominate side which you found so hot he then walked over to the couch and sat down to watch his favorite show

this was your chance you thought he always was the one to ask to fornicate so it was your turn but you were to nervous to directly ask him from Adams perspective he was just sitting on the couch watching his favorite TV show when all of a sudden he felt something you... you were sitting on the floor in-between his legs rubbing your face against his soft bulge looking up at his longingly he was surprised and that well you were asking to fuck he giggled and said "that's one way to ask if you can suck my dick" before taking his underwear revealing his 35 cm dick complete erect he then teased "hope ya don't choke" before grabbed you by the hair and putting your mouth against his dick you gladly opened it and started to suck on it purring and playing with the soft tip arousing Adam even more 'good good girl" he said "I hope ya dont chock on it although that would be cute" he said in a low purr you were to preoccupied to listen and you just kept sucking him off rubbing your tongue against the veins bulging through and the gentle tip tickling him he then said "going all the way in" then shoving his whole dick down your throat you were surprised you did not gag maybe heaven does not have a gag reflex you thought while sucking it "that's it baby this is your dessert after all those drinks" he said as the bead of precum went down your throat it was so nice to have all his love and affection and to pleasure him it was just an addicting feeling Adam then blurted out " are you ready for you dessert " before pulling his dick partially out before cumming all onto your tongue letting you taste it "don't you dare spit it out" Adam said firmly as more ropes of cum went into your mouth. by the end your mouth was filled with his sticky salty cum you started to gulp it down as he cleaned himself up he laughed and said "Ya like your dessert because your gonna eat that EVERY DAY" before saying "its getting late lets go to bed

BONUS BC I LOVE YOU

as he was sleeping your played with his bulge it was soft and warm kinda like a pillow he was enjoying it as he blurted out "ugh yess" once and awhile it was just the perfect pillow you finally rested on his bulge using it like a pillow and fell asleep

[snowball-doie]

at about 13, jooha goes through a brief baking phase because he loves the science of it all but since he lives with idols that 'diet', there were always just so many uneaten baked goods in the kitchen and poor joo would get so frustrated and literally be like "you're skinny enough, just eat the buns because they're going to go off and i want to make more"

"you're skinny enough" took me out-- i know for a fact that he's taking the baked goods to the office too. by himself. little 13 year old jooha just pulls up to the company lobby, trying to explain who the fuck he is and why he needs to be let in. "fine, let me call my dad...." so he calls johnny. "can you come down and grab me? the front desk wont let me past security" "why're you here?" "i have food" "for us?" "no" "then... who did you bring food for" (and then he makes some kind of joke along the lines of "wouldnt you like to know, weather boy"). so johnny comes to pick him up from the lobby, and while johnny presses the button to head to the floor with all the practice rooms, jooha goes to a random floor. who does he know there? out of curiosity, johnny quietly joins jooha. "hey, my dad and uncles didn't want these cookies and croissants i made--" yeah, 13 year old jooha makes the best butter and chocolate croissants ok (he's got the recipe on lockdown cuz it's just science at the end of the day)- "can i leave them somewhere for the staff? they're nut free, and the cookies are sugar free. the ones with a single chocolate chip on top are gluten free." like this kid literally pulls up with all these cookies and croissants for people, and johnny's just standing there, thinking to himself, "when did my kid have the time do make all this?" so jooha leaves the pastries for the staff, then he heads upstairs with johnny to visit his other dads before he goes home to do his homework. "adeul, what're you doing here?" doyoung asks excitedly when he sees jooha. "he was dropping food off for the staff," johnny answers. "food? what food?" "cookies and croissants," jooha says. "the ones on the dining room table?" jungwoo asks. "yeah. none of you were eating them, so i gave them away" haechan pouts, "i was gonna have a cookie tonight................" "i'll make more, if you guys promise to stop starving yourselves and just eat one." "is our son allowed to talk to us like that?" "no," taeyong says. but it's jooha. sometimes he gets an attitude like reyna... it's their own fault.

so ONLY UPON REQUEST! will jooha make food for his dads. jaehyun and johnny eat upppp the protein cookies jooha makes-- he figured out how to make really good ones that are stuffed with a fuck ton of protein, less sugar, etc. they're super healthy, so the boys use them instead of protein bars or protein shakes lol. jungwoo, mark, and doyoung like having sweets on occasions, like birthdays or holidays. taeyong, yuta, and haechan are the big snackers, so jooha makes a supply of secret pastries that he hides from the others because he understands that some of them (like jungwoo and jaehyun) will give into their cravings if they know there's scones hiding somewhere in the house, and he respects their choice to not alwaayyysss eat desserts. in the middle of the night, hyuck will get out of bed to go eat a square of jooha's homemade fudge-- how bro just knows how to make deep-south american fudge is baffling to the boys, but it's so good regardless

[juniestar]

I have this guy I met on a set on IG and he’s so angry every day he makes a story post about his personal business and how everyone fucks him over. Which is something I indulge in from time to time here but it’s excessive like yesterday he reposted some pic that was like “study shows having a sister is good for your mental health” and he was all IF THIS IS TRUE IDK WHERE GOD GOT THE PEOPLE HE MADE ME CALL MY SIBLINGS BECAUSE ITS JUST ME AND MY BROTHER AGAINST THESE SNAKES like shut up SHUT UPPPP YOU ARE NEVER HAPPY!!! I had to unfollow a girl I actually don’t even know recently because every single day she would use the Instagram notes feature to talk shit about her GRANDMA and I get it because my grandmas are crazy and I speak minimally to them both but there are only so many GRANDMA CRYING OR SAYING SHE’S GONNA 💀HERSELF - MANIPULATION SHE LOVES MANIPULATING US posts I can stand girl NO ONE KNOWS YOUR GRANDMA WE DON’T GAF!!!!!

[justsomeoneunordinary]

i am getting so tired by all these "oh no poor boys and men" posts i am seeing on my dash - far more about men's issues and oh how much they suffer than i see about women nowadays and that's just sooo....

full fucking offense but women worldwide still earn less than their male co-workers do for the exact same job. in some places it's better than others but it's still a universal problem

women still have to work more to climb the career ladder and get a leader job than their male co-workers do. in some places it's better than others but it's still a universal problem

there are still, now in 2kfucking24, two countries left where women still can't vote

women and girls, especially immigrants, are the majority victims of sex trafficking!!! this is still happening!!!!! sex trafficking hasn't stopped!!!

every. single. woman i know - every single one!!! - has been sexually harassed by a man at least once! it even happened to me and i never thought it'd happen to bc i am someone considered rather unattractive - have even been said so, directly to my face, by men, which is a form of harassment in itself - and i have never heard of a woman who hasn't ever been sexually harassed even once. and hey, isn't it fucking nuts that this is something you just have to expect at a certain point as a woman? that this simply WILL happen one day that a man will come up to you and be a fucking creep or even worse???

women are still being told by men what they should and shouldn't wear. now, this year of 2kfucking24 the women's volleyball team was fucking finally allowed to cover their full body at the olympics instead of wearing their tiny bikinis!! and what happened on social media first things first was creeps talking about how disappointed they are now! because they couldn't leer at the ladies anymore!!

but you come on tumblr and people reblog posts about how oppressive it is for men that they can't show their feelings or they will be called weak and unmanly boohoo :( sure, that fucking sucks. i'm sorry you have such terrible friends, dude, and i really hope you find better ones - but that's not fucking misandry, you're not being oppressed for being a man, you're not being oppressed at all!!! this is people being mean to you, this is bullying at most! but misandry?! shut the fuck upppp

some time ago i saw a post abt how women should stop being afraid of going out in the dark and how it's fucked up to think of every man they meet at night outside to be a rapist. and i get that! i do somewhat agree with that! but a neighbor of my friend's had recently been followed in the evening on her way back home by a bunch of guys til her home, calling her a bitch and saying they'll kill her (she didn't even know them) and they even got into the house complex bc some idiot let them in. they only ran away once she called the police. back in my highschool days it not only happened once but twice that a girl from my school was followed home after her afternoon classes and was raped. recently, in my living area, two women were stalked at night and killed shortly before they managed to arrive home. and that's just what happened in my general area!!!! not to mention what happens in so many places all over the world!!!! and yeah, i don't think being afraid of going out at night now is going to do me any good, but i totally get why some women are afraid!!!! idk, maybe men should just stop creeping on women, rape them and/or kill them? so that women would not have to fear going out at night alone anymore? just a random thought but hey maybe i'm just hysterical :)

but no. let us talk abt "misandry" instead and how oppressed these poor guys are for *check's notes* women sometimes being unreasonable assholes to them

enough!!!

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Not-Magic

A JSE Fanfic

Septics Inverted AU

First IRIS Chapter | Previous

(Heyyyy, what's upppp, it's meeee. Back with another chapter after so long. Seriously. So long. This has been the longest gap between IRIS Inverted chapters yet, I think. Tbh that's because I started writing Many Roads Diverge. A CYOA-style fic takes a LOT of work. But here we are now! Jackie and Frederick continue their investigation into IRIS by visiting other magicians. Meanwhile, Jack is having some trouble. Then Jackie makes a phone call. Enjoy!)

- - - - - - - - - -

Jackie couldn’t sit still for the rest of the car ride. He wanted to jump out and run until he found Chase. One of his best friends had just been basically kidnapped by a shady semi-magical organization, and he was just supposed to stay in the car after that? What the fuck? But Frederick was right, they had a limited window of time to meet up with the rest of the magicians. And Jackie needed more information about this IRIS, information that they could help him with.

The safe house was in Mirygale, which naturally made Jackie nervous. He was still technically a wanted criminal in this city. But he told himself that nobody would see him, as they were just going straight to the house. Not like they were walking around where a crowd of people could see his face. And even if they did, most people probably wouldn’t recognize Jackie, anyway. He’d changed a lot since his arrest and escape.

“Is this it?” Jackie asked as Frederick parked on the side of the road in a residential neighborhood. “Doesn’t look like much.”

“Good, that’s the point.” Frederick turned the car off. “We’re going in that one.” He pointed at a brown brick townhouse, identical to the rest of the brown brick townhouses around it.

“Alright, let’s go then.” The sooner they could talk to the magicians about IRIS, the sooner they could track them down, and the sooner Jackie could beat the shit out of them for taking Chase.

The two of them left the car behind and walked up the steps to the front door. Jackie hung back a bit, allowing Frederick to take the lead. Which he did, knocking on the door. And the door opened almost instantly. “Ah, I was wondering where you two were.”

“Hey, Eve.” Frederick grinned. “Sorry, we got, uh... delayed a bit.”

Jackie leaned around him. “Hi, Yvonne.”

“Hey, Jackie.” Yvonne gave him a nod. She was wearing a casual brown suit—dressed for work, clearly, as that wasn’t her usual style. But her hair was as vibrant as ever, cut short and dyed in blues and purples. “Come on in, Briony’s beside herself.”

Frederick sighed. “I know. Let’s go.”

The interior of the house was pretty normal. The front door led to a short hallway with a staircase for second-floor access. “That’s where we’re keeping all the magical stuff,” Yvonne said to Jackie, gesturing up the staircase. “But Briony and Nick are just in the living room here.”

“And it’s just them? I thought you guys had a whole team?” Jackie asked.

“Not everyone could make it right now,” Yvonne explained. “But the other four will be here later today if you want to hang around.”

“No, that’s fine.” Jackie shook his head.

“We do have a bit of a drive back,” Frederick added. “Let’s just... hurry along.”

Yvonne nodded. “Over here, then.” She walked over to an arch leading into a wide living room. “Hey guys, they’re here.”

Two others were in the living room. A dark-skinned man with his hair pulled back in a ponytail, and a woman with blonde frizzy hair and glasses. He was sitting in the room’s singular armchair while she was pacing back and forth in front of the window. They both wore similar casual suits to Yvonne—the ABIM must’ve had a dress code. That certainly made Jackie feel self-conscious in his favorite hoodie (black with red patches, he’d had it for ages now.) Frederick wasn’t wearing this suit uniform either, but his usual way of dressing was nice enough that he didn’t look too out of place.

“There you are!” The pacing woman whirled around to see them. “I swear, Frederick, you’re never—oh my god!” Her eyes had locked onto Jackie. Specifically, Jackie’s face.

“Briony,” the man said in a warning tone.

Frederick casually took a step closer to Jackie. “Sorry about that,” he said quickly. “We got delayed for a bit, but we did find out something that... well, I don’t know if it will help with the investigation, but it is some new information. Briony, Nick, this is Jackie, I’ve told you about. Jackie, Briony and Nick.”

“Hi.” Jackie forced himself to smile.

“Lovely to meet you,” Nick said, standing up. “So sorry about Briony, she has no social tact.”

“Wh—hey!” Briony said, glaring at him. She turned back to Jackie with a guilty expression. “I’m so sorry about that, I just didn’t expect—I-I didn’t mean any offense. I’ve never seen—I’m so sorry. Truly.”

“It’s fine.” It wasn’t, but Jackie could get over it. His scars and eye-patch usually got stares. He looked at Frederick. “So, I’m guessing you didn’t tell them everything about me.”

“I told them everything important,” Frederick said. “And everything I thought you wouldn’t mind.”

“Hah.” Jackie gave him a small smile. “That’s, uh... yeah. Good.” He leaned a bit closer to him.

“Let’s not waste any time, shall we?” Yvonne said, hurriedly jumping in. “The camera we got is still in the detection box.”

“Right. Time to go take it out.” Nick checked a watch on his wrist. “Head on upstairs, everyone.”

The group left the living room and went up the stairs. And it’s here that the resemblance to a normal house faded away. There were symbols painted on the walls. Runes, drawn in lines, squares, and circles. Jackie vaguely recognized some of them. They were geared towards protection and containment. As they walked past, Briony tapped some of the runes, little zaps of mauve magic leaving her hands and causing the runes to glow the same color. Were these the wards?

“So, Jackie, Frederick said you met while on a case?” Nick asked, trying for some casual conversation.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. There was this guy I knew, he was a magician. A fucking evil one. H-he went all crazy one day and attacked me and my friends. Frederick and Yvonne were on that case, so they showed up to help us.”

“Then you guys stole my car,” Frederick added.

“You got it back eventually,” Jackie said defensively, making Frederick laugh.

“That’s the same guy who burned Frederick’s hand off, right?” Briony asked.

“Well that’s a light way of putting it,” Frederick said. “But yes.”

“That’s... where all this came from.” Jackie gestured at his face. “The magic lingered for a while until Frederick found me and healed me.” He shook his head. “So glad that guy’s in jail now. Hope he rots.”

The group walked into the last room down the hall, a medium-sized room that could’ve been a bedroom in an actual house, but was instead filled with tables that held all sorts of strange objects. Crystal spheres of many colors, mirrors and painting with abstract designs, feathers and bottles and thin wands of wood and metal. In the center of the room was a table with a box the size of a printer. The box was made of a silvery metal. Its surface shifted with faint designs, like sunlight passing through ocean waves.

Briony tapped the side of the silver box. The designs stopped, shifting to form a phrase: OBJECT READY. REMOVE OBJECT. “Right,” she said. “Nick?” Nick nodded and walked over to join her. Each of them put their hands on two corners of the box. They whispered something in unison, their eyes glowing together—Briony’s that same mauve color, Nick’s a brighter yellow-green—and then lifted the top of the box off. They set the lid on the table next to it and Nick reached inside, pulling out... another box. This one was made of a coppery metal instead of silver.

“So, I’m guessing that’s the detection box,” Jackie said, pointing at the big silver box. “What’s that, then? Doesn’t look like a camera.”

Briony smiled a little. “We keep unknown magical items in these. They muffle all magical waves and signals.”

“Here, come look,” Nick said, sitting the box on the table. Jackie hesitated, but when Frederick and Yvonne walked over he did as well.

The top of the box was transparent, like glass. Inside was what looked like an old-fashioned security camera made of white plastic and metal. On the side of the camera was a symbol in black. Like an eye with three pupils. “Hmm. Looks pretty normal,” Jackie said, aware of how unhelpful that was.

“It does, doesn’t it?” Yvonne agreed. “That’s what the detection box is for. Picking up stuff that is abnormal. Now where’re the results?”

“Briony puts the paper actually in the box, remember?” Frederick said.

“I don’t want to lose it!” Briony said defensively, already reaching back into the detection box. After a couple seconds, she pulled out an ordinary piece of printer paper and slapped it down on the table next to the camera. “Here we are.”

On the paper was silvery writing, like someone had used a metallic glitter pen to record the results. Magic signature detected, it said. Combat: none. Divination: none. Soul: none. Necromancy: none. Health: none. Transformation: none. Conjuration: none. Illusory: none. Mental: none. And it kept going like that. Jackie skimmed the list to the bottom, where something was finally different. Light magic object. Black magic object.

“That’s... weird,” Yvonne said.

“There are several things wrong with this,” Frederick agreed. Nick and Briony just looked concerned.

“And what are those several things?” Jackie asked.

“Well, it’s not supposed to list out every branch of magic like this,” Frederick explained. “It’s just supposed to tell you if the object is light magic or black magic, and what branch of magic it is, not all the ones it isn’t. And, of course, it’s supposed to tell you what the object can do.”

“So... the camera short-circuited your magical detection device,” Jackie summed up.

“Pretty much,” Nick agreed.

“Frederick, you didn’t mention this.” Briony pointed at the two phrases at the end. “It’s impossible for a single object to use both light and black magic.”

“What?” Jackie blinked, confused. “But... magicians can use light and black magic, can’t they? I mean, I’m told black magic has side effects, but using it doesn’t somehow close you off from using light magic. It’s like a spectrum, right?”

Frederick gave him a small, proud smile. “It is. But it’s different with objects. Objects can’t choose to use magic, they can only do what the person intended them to. And once you imbue an object with a purpose that leans more to the light or the dark, then any attempts to put the opposite end of the spectrum into the enchantment don’t work. They fizzle out if you’re lucky and literally blow up if you’re not.”

Jackie nodded slowly. “Alright. So that’s super weird for the camera, right?”

“So weird,” Nick muttered.

“What if you put something that’s not magic in the detection box?” Jackie asked. “Like... a regular pen or something.”

Briony shrugs. “Then the detection won’t work. The cycle will cut short if there’s no magical signature. And before you ask, the containment box is built to work with the detection, the detection will go right through it.”

Jackie went quiet for a moment. “What if it emits a different type of signature?”

Frederick tilted his head. “Like what?”

“I dunno. Radiation, or something.”

Yvonne raised an eyebrow. “Why and how would we have something radioactive to put in the detection box?”

“I don’t know! I’m just asking!” Jackie said defensively. “People are stupid and curious, surely someone in the history of magicians has tried to put fucking... plutonium or whatever into the magic box.”

Frederick leaned back against a nearby table. “Are you saying the camera is radioactive?”

“No, I’m just...” Jackie shook his head.

“No, keep going,” Frederick said. “I think I know where you’re going. It’s about the weird magical signature IRIS locations give off, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Jackie nodded, relieved. “What if that’s not really magic? But something else? Not radiation, obviously, otherwise people would know, but... something like it?”

Briony’s eyes lit up. “Something similar to magic that isn’t actually magic? That... that would make sense, actually. It’d be close enough that we can pick it up, but different enough that we couldn’t actually identify it.”

“If we’re opening up the possibility, what if IRIS has just invented a new branch of magic?” Nick asked.

“Well, we’d have to think about what IRIS could do with a new branch of magic,” Yvonne said. “This camera—it’s called a WTCHR camera, remember? And we’ve all read the description and instructions that came in the box.” As she said this, she walked over to a table by the door and picked up a manual, looking just like any other instruction booklet that came with any other electronic product. “Most of it is just a really good camera, but it claims it can identify emotions and whether or not someone’s telling the truth. That’s the odd part, and that could be accomplished with scrying magic or mental magic. IRIS wouldn’t need to invent something new.”

“But what if it’s not magic?” Frederick pointed out. 

“It would definitely explain why your fucking... magic box got error’ed out,” Jackie said.

Nick frowned, doubtful. “We can keep it in mind. Talk about it with the others. In the meantime, what do we do with the camera?”

In unison, they all looked at it. “I guess we just keep it,” Briony said. “Run it through a couple tests, maybe? I’m wondering if there are any other unusual properties it has.”

“What sort of tests?” Jackie asked, intrigued.

“Oh, you know. See how durable it is, see if it retains its weird magic signature after taking parts off, see if we can make it do stuff that it’s not supposed to.” Briony looked excited listing off these ideas.

“But, uh, we don’t need to be here for that,” Yvonne said. “Just the wizards. That’s... sort of their specialty. Learning about magic stuff.”

“Should we leave, then?” Frederick asked.

“Seems a waste to ask you guys to drive all the way out here and then send you right back,” Nick said. “Besides, didn’t you say something about new information, Rick?”

Frederick winced, irritated. “Frederick. Or Fengge.”

“Sorry.”

Frederick gave Jackie a long-suffering look that said this wasn’t the first time Nick had pulled something like that, then looked back at the others. “Yeah. We, uh... do you want to talk about it, Jackie?”

Jackie nodded. He and Frederick had discussed it in the car, and Jackie had agreed the others needed to know. He took a deep breath, preparing himself. “We’re, uh... We were... Part of the reason we were a bit late was because I wanted to go visit a friend of mine while I was already out. But when I got there, I was told that he was... moved somewhere else. Somewhere IRIS has control of.”

The others all instantly sharpened their attention. “You... you mean Chase, right?” Yvonne asked.

“Yeah.” Jackie asked.

“IRIS is kidnapping people?” Nick asked, shocked.

“Well, no, not—I mean, it is basically kidnapping, but...” Jackie paused, conjuring up his pre-prepared vague explanation. “Chase was living in a, uh, facility, of sorts. I-I don’t want to give out too many details if I don’t have to, it’s his business, but basically, it’s a place where it’s not weird to get transferred somewhere else. And they transferred him to IRIS.”

“A government-run facility?” Briony asked.

“...Basically.”

“Those are not good implications,” Nick said darkly.

“We know,” Frederick said. “It means that IRIS is able to freely contact the government and make demands of them. And it means that they want people for something.”

“Your friend... Chase, was it?” Nick asked. Jackie nodded to confirm his name. “Has he had any exposure to magic? Like you have?”

“Yeah, we both knew the same magician,” Jackie said. “Marvin Moore.”

“Moore hurt Chase, but his wounds were tended to immediately,” Frederick added. “There was no time for the magic to fester. But he spent a long time in contact with Moore. It’s possible that some magic traces linger. Very faint traces.”

Yvonne frowned. “I doubt that. It’s been, what, a year since those two had contact? I think the traces would’ve faded by now. Maybe... maybe IRIS grabbed Chase randomly.”

“If they were grabbing random people, they would’ve grabbed someone with no connections,” Jackie said. “Chase has connections. I visit him, his kids sometimes visit him, and people—people know who he is. They’d notice if he vanished. Case in point, I noticed when it happened! No, i-it has to be something else.”

“I suppose IRIS could’ve somehow... heard about Marvin Moore and realized Chase was connected,” Briony said reluctantly. “But that means that they were aware of us before we were aware of them.”

“It would also mean you could be in danger,” Nick said, looking at Jackie.

Frederick straightened. “They wouldn’t go for him. We live together. It’s too dangerous to try and grab him.” There was a hard edge to his voice that Jackie rarely heard but which made his face redden a little.

“Is there something special about Chase?” Yvonne asked. “Besides his location being easier to reach? Because I would argue that it would be quite difficult to get him out of there. Did Chase go through something you didn’t? Magically-related?”

Jackie thought about it. “Um... it’s not magic, but... he was in a coma for a while. About two months.”

Frederick’s eyes widened slightly. “Wait, if I’m remembering right, wasn’t that coma caused by Anti?”

Jackie gritted his teeth. “Yeah. It was.” Fucking bitch... you don’t just put people in comas no matter how much you hate them.

“You know... Anti isn’t magic,” Frederick said slowly. “But he can do things that seem like it.”

Jackie stared at him. “Are you saying... IRIS is like Anti?”

“Um...” Briony raised her hand. “Who’s Anti?”

Jackie sighed, already feeling exhausted at the idea of explaining all this. “Anti is Anti. He’s not human. He’s not a demon. He’s not a spirit. He’s something else. One of a kind.” He paused. “He’s also an asshole, but he’s not like... evil. He doesn’t hurt people.” Or at least, people who don’t deserve it.

“Didn’t you just say he caused your friend’s coma?” Briony asked.

“Long story. The point is Frederick thinks that IRIS’s not-magic could be like what Anti does.”

“Maybe not exactly, but it’s a good starting point,” Frederick said.

“Can you guys contact this... Anti?” Nick asked.

Jackie frowned. “I don’t know... It’s kind of hard to reach something like him. We could try to track down Jack—that’s a friend of his, he’s human. But, uh... don’t know if it would look that good coming from me. Jack and I... have a rough history.”

“Then we’ll do it,” Yvonne said, gesturing at herself and the other magicians. “We have ways of tracking down people.”

“You make it sound menacing when you say it like that, Eve,” Frederick said, a faint smile on his face.

“I... guess you guys can try,” Jackie said slowly. “Even just getting close to Jack will probably cause Anti to react. Jack is... sensitive.” That was a mild way of saying ‘traumatized by being kidnapped multiple times.’ “But I can’t be involved in this. Not until you explain the situation to Anti. We don’t exactly like each other.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll be careful,” Yvonne assured him. 

“Please do be.” Jackie didn’t like the idea of Anti getting involved, but if he could help... Maybe he would recognize the greater evil of IRIS. An organization that secretly takes people couldn’t have good intentions, regardless of what those people had done.

- - - - - - - - - -

Jack pulled the blinds on the window back a little bit, looking down at the street below. It was empty. But he didn’t trust that.

Static fizzled next to his ear. “Are they gone?” Anti asked.

“I don’t see them anymore,” Jack said slowly. “But I don’t think they would’ve just left.” All morning, there’d been a white car parked on the street below. Not unusual in and of itself. But who would park in this tiny side street in between apartment buildings? Combined with IRIS’s repeated phone calls, it made Jack nervous.

Anti’s form fizzled a little bit. “They didn’t,” he reported. “I just checked the building’s security cameras. The car moved to the front. I don’t know if we’re still in range of their equipment, but they’re definitely not going anywhere.” When Jack had pointed out the car to Anti, he confirmed that—as normal as it looked from the outside—it belonged to IRIS. He could sense some of their equipment inside.

Jack shut the blinds. Sam flew over and nuzzled against his face, telling him not to worry. “No, I’m going to worry,” Jack said. “How the fuck am I supposed to not worry about this? People have never shown up at my house! Even the crazier fans haven’t gone that far yet. And even if they had, they’re just one or two people, not a whole fucking organization!”

“Nothing’s going to happen,” Anti said firmly. “I’ll make sure of it.”

Jack sighed, pressing his head against the window. “Do we have to move? I don’t want to move. I don’t want to go on the fucking run again.”

Anti hesitated. “I’m sorry. But... we might... have to.”

“It just... everything was finally working out,” Jack mumbled.

“I’m sorry,” Anti said quietly.

“No, don’t be, it’s not your fault.”

“It really is,” Anti admitted. “IRIS is after me. They’re only going after you to get to me. Maybe... maybe if I leave for a while—”

“No don’t!” Jack said hurriedly. Sam jumped up into the air, bobbing up and down in agreement with him. “I-I don’t—If something happens—B-besides, that’d just mean they win, wouldn’t it?”

Anti blinked. Then grinned. “I guess it would.”

“Y-yeah.” Jack gave him a weak smile. “Uh... I’m going to... try and keep my mind off this. Try and do something to relax. Maybe I have a game that I can... Uh, I-I’ll be in the other room. Tell me if anything happens with them.”

“I will,” Anti promised.

“Great.” Jack smiled again and turned around, heading deeper into the apartment.

Sam stayed where they were, watching him go. {Anti.}

Anti jumped a little. Even though Sam could talk to him, they usually didn’t, so it always surprised him when they decided to. “What is it?”

{You stay here.} Sam flew closer, pressing against his chest and looking up at him, pupil dilated wide. {Bad things might happen.}

Anti looked down at them. “Anything... specific?”

{No. But there’s a bad feeling. You should stay here. Don’t leave.}

“A bad feeling, huh?” Anti nodded slowly. He’d known Sam long enough to trust their feelings. They had an uncanny ability to know what people should and shouldn’t do. “Alright. I won’t leave. And I’ll... be prepared.” His hand glitched, turning into pixels, and he showed Sam the knife he’d conjured. “If you know what I mean.”

{Uh-huh.} Sam backed away, bobbing up and down in a nodding gesture. {Jack be safe.}

“He’ll be safe. I’m ready for anything.”

{Yay!} And with that, Sam bopped against his shoulder, then flew down the hallway after Jack.

Anti watched them go with a faint smile. Then he thought about IRIS again, and the smile faded. If he was stuck in Jack’s apartment, he wouldn’t be able to hack IRIS’s servers, backdoor or not. They were very secure, and he needed to be close by to access them. But... it was a small price to pay to keep Jack safe. And if disaster was averted, he might be able to return to the servers later.

He put the knife away, letting it vanish into pixels, and jumped back into the building’s outside security cameras. The car was still there.

And it would stay there for another hour before finally driving off.

- - - - - - - - - -

Dadalada-dadalada— “Hello?”

“Wait, you’re actually awake?! Isn’t it like five in the morning over there?!”

Schneep glanced out the bedroom window at the early morning sky. “The ringtone woke me up,” he lied.

“Mm-hmm.” Jackie hummed. “So if I FaceTime you, you’ll be in bed.”

“Absolutely.” Schneep hurriedly got up from the desk chair in the corner of his room and sat down on the bed instead.

“Okay, I’ll do it, then.”

“Fine, do it.”

Jackie hung up the call, but a few seconds later Schneep’s phone began ringing again—Dadalada-dadalada—with the Caller ID screen now identifying a video call. Schneep accepted it. Jackie was clearly in a car, as evident by the headrest and seat belt. There was afternoon light coming from the windows. “There you are,” Jackie said. He narrowed his eyes. “If I woke you up, why are you wearing your glasses?”

Shit. “I put them on when you said you would video call,” Schneep said.

“Oh, okay. And you combed your hair, too?”

Schneep hesitated. Then groaned. “God damn it, Jackie, how do you fucking know what my bed hair looks like?”

“We lived together for, like, four years! What do you mean ‘how do I know’? The question is how I wouldn’t. And why are you up at five in the morning?”

“Why are you calling me at five in the morning?”

“I didn’t think you would answer! I was going to leave a message!”

“Text me instead, you dunkoff.”

“Uh, can you two get back on track?” A voice called from off screen on Jackie’s end. “Don’t you have important stuff to talk about?”

“Hello Frederick,” Schneep said, giving a little wave as Jackie turned the phone to show Frederick in the driver’s seat of the car.

“Hi.” Frederick smiled at the screen, not taking his hands off the wheel as he drove.

“What sort of ‘important stuff’ are you two calling about?” Schneep asked.

“Uh, well...” Jackie hesitated, the worry clear on his face. “I went to see Chase today... You know what, I’ll work up to that. Start at the beginning. There’s a sort of investigation going on...”

As Jackie talked, Schneep sat there, eyes growing wider with every sentence. But he stayed quiet until the end. At which point, he immediately started shouting. “What the fuck do they want with Chase?! Chase has not done anything in his l—well, no, he has done quite a lot, but he was already where he should be! And where he wanted to be, I will add. What the fuck! They cannot just—just grab people! Especially not him!”

“Right? Right?!” Jackie cried. “What the fuck are they doing?!”

“Clearly nothing good!” Schneep growled, then took a moment to breathe, calming down. This was not the time to get carried away in anger. He punched the pillow a couple times and then was fine. “Jackie. I believe I have something relevant.”

“Oh?” Jackie asked, already intrigued.

“Anti was here yesterday,” Schneep said. 

“Last night, I was going to bed—”

“At what time?”

“A perfectly reasonable one, please not now.” It was 2 am. “But while I was heading there, the House did its twisty thing and I ended up somewhere else. Anti was speaking with Dark. I was curious why he was here, so I listened in. Your suspicion about Anti and IRIS is right; he has some sort of history with them. And now this organization is going after Jack. Possibly to get to Anti.”

Jackie’s expression hardened. “So they probably did take Chase because of Anti. What, does he still have traces of Anti’s power in his system after the coma?”

“It’s possible,” Frederick added. “I’m not sure how Anti’s power works in comparison to magic.”

“If you and your magicians are looking for Jack, you should keep that in mind,” Schneep continued. “You may have to beat IRIS to him.”

Jackie sighed. “This would’ve been good to know before we left the house.”

“You’re the one who didn’t want to call your friend while we were there,” Frederick said calmly.

“I am, I just—ugh.”

“It’s okay, I’ll call Yvonne about it when we get home.”

“That’ll work. In the meantime,” Jackie turned his attention back to the call. “Schneep, seriously, why are you up at five am?”

Schneep sighed. “Because I still have fucking insomnia.”

“I thought you were going to ask about sleep aids.”

“I am, but it is hard to find ones that work with my other medications.” Schneep glanced at the collection of pill bottles on the nightstand. 

“Oh.” Jackie’s voice was soft. “Well... that sucks. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, I am sure Peter can find something,” Schneep said, referring to his psychiatrist. “He is very good at what he does. I just have to wait until then. Is fine. I do not mind being up so late. I am not the only one awake in the House at night.”

“That sounds a bit ominous,” Jackie muttered.

“No, I find it comforting. Though if any of them tried to actually talk to me during this time, I am sure I would be annoyed the second it happens.”

Jackie laughed. “God, you would, wouldn’t you? Well... do you want me to stay and chat, or do you think that wouldn’t help?”

“In all honesty, it would not help,” Schneep said. “I have to be very awake to keep up with your energy, and this is not the time for that.”

“Alright, I’ll head off, then. Maybe I’ll call you later, when it’s evening here?”

“If you want. Or you could wait until tomorrow, that would be fine, too.”

“I’ll wait, then. See you, Schneep. Frederick, say goodbye to Schneep.”

“Bye, Henrik!” Frederick added.

“Goodbye, you two,” Schneep said, laughing a little.

“Bye!” Jackie waved for the camera. “Sleep well.” And with that, he ended the call. 

Schneep closed out of the video call app on his phone and instead returned to what he’d been doing before Jackie called. He re-opened the phone’s browser. It had a couple different tabs open... all relating to this IRIS organization. Their website, their social medias, any page or article he could find about them.

He’d been curious about them ever since he overheard Anti’s conversation. No, more than curious. If they were really looking for Jack, he wanted to at least know as much as he could. Even if Jack probably wouldn’t appreciate his help. But now it was different. Now IRIS had Chase. He couldn’t just sit by while Jackie and those magicians handled this! God damn it, Chase was his friend, too! Though, there wasn’t much he could do while he was halfway across the world...

Wasn’t IRIS an American company first?

Schneep went back to their website, scrolling around for information. Yes, this lists their “hometown”—the place they were founded—as somewhere called Kronolle, California. Yes, Anti mentioned that, too. With that established, Schneep closed the browser and opened the GPS, searching up the town. Yes, it was there. North of Los Angeles, with the driving time listed as 2-3 hours depending on traffic. That was a long way to go. Especially for someone who couldn’t drive.

...It was late. This wasn’t the time. Schneep sighed and turned off his phone. When it was this late, it was probably better to lie down and close your eyes. That was more restful than sitting up and doing stuff. He got up, closed the window’s blinds, and got ready to change for bed. He’d think more on this in the morning.

Maybe there was something he could do to help Chase even all the way out here.

[maschotch]

I LOVE your takes on jj because as a woman of colour i totally agree. she is very much a white feminist who gets away with breaking protocol all the time. although I don’t believe she is a lesbian at all, she is very much straight. it’s been confirmed her and will will have some sexy scenes in the reboot.

what are your thoughts on what she did to will in 14x15 and how she hid it from him in the next episodes to come?

akdhakdh im glad SOMEONE agrees bc omg no one ever fucking talks ab her specific brand of white feminism. all her girl!boss moments are so targeted and do more to uphold gender stereotypes than anything, and the attitude she has towards people outside the realm of her own experience… oof. she acts like she knows it all but she’s from a teeny town surrounded by people with teeny minds and her worldview reflects that!! her stubborn personality means she refuses to admit she’s wrong or doesn’t know something (and if its clear she doesnt know something, she makes it seem like the other person is a weirdo for knowing it) so she never really grew outta that mindset. very white feminism. she can say “im not racist im not racist” all she wants, but the writers cant seem to break past that very limited view of feminism. its just icky to see :/ and its icky to see so many people obsess over her character without acknowledging any of that

lmaooo yeah in canon she’s very straight. i just like to interpret it as closeted lesbian behavior. the lashing out, settling down with the first man she can, resenting him from the start, etc. and her trying so hard to repress that to maintain the image of the conservative white woman would sorta explain why she hasnt tried to question any of the values she grew up with. if she’s scared, she’s not gonna stand up for herself or for others. it doesnt justify anything she does, it just explains it a little bit more. its slightly less infuriating than her just being racist/ableist for the hell of it

god honestly i try my best to pretend the whole jeid thing never happened lmao. the writers were really grasping at straws considering the way she treats him. and reid being “her first love” oh my godddd shut upppp. and super fucked up of them to leave will out of it entirely?? like itd be one thing if the writers forgot about him or were trying to brush him aside, but he’s literally there w their kids in the hospital hugging spencer. “oh she’d be glad you’re here” “she’d want to see you” like he’s so fuckin understanding and we just have to sit here and watch him get cucked

[transtomboy]

EP 6

there's so much in the trailer than happens in the last eps lmao

how this bitch can't walk in the church but this nigga wandering in damn heaven

Could they not recognize him

I feel if the apocalypse stops, everyone should know who crowley is and should recognize him

maggie and nina kinda unserious

the middle finger, like be serious

people fucking visits vinyl stores shax!

ohhh they got permission

DUMBASS HOLY SHIT

how many times is this bunny looking bitch getting killed?

THEY CAN FUCKING RECOGNIZE HIM

ig not many people are there and ig crowley knows that???

crowley was an archangel ermmm

THESE IDIOTS

the gabriel switch up, porque?

where did that come from?

OMG SHAX

the fucking exposition dumb THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A MYSTERY FOR THEM TO SOLVE WHYY

i don't think angels would be embarrassed by nudity

A HALO?

okay

declared war??????

damn they dropped everything in that trailer

even i didn't realize its sarcasm

uhh okay

NAWWW WHY THEY ADD THAT IN

I DO NOT GAF ABOUT INEFFABLE BEARUCRACY OR WHATEVER TF

CHOP, I DO NOT LIKE THIS SHIP

THEY WANNA BE AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY SO BAD, CHOP!!!!

I just skipped all that shit

LEGIT CHOP, R U SERIOUS

DONT TELL ME THEY KISS BEFORE THEM

if i read a fic, i better not see that ship on the side

CHOPPED

NAW THEY SINGIN N SHIT, GET THEM OUTTA HERE!!!

STFU

Every ship idgaf about is happening but the one i like

girl who is mettaton

NAW get this fanfiction out of my face, why are we doing an intervention???

LIKE BE FR

Went to catholic high school and i legit don't know what tf a metatron is

aziraphale is so unserious rn

oh angel status? oh okay I can see why he would be excited about that

is this nigga crying?

aziraphale R U SERIOUS

DOES HE STILL THINK HEAVEN IS GOOD STILL AFTER S1

NAW BRUH

NO HE DOES NOT, NEIL IM COMING TO UR HOUSE RN

6000 YEARS DOWN THE DRAIN

I HAVE A GUN

Are you ready to die, Aziraphale?

YES UR A TEAM

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS

SECOND IN COMMAND? WHO CARES?

"nothing lasts forever" UR SO DONE MAN

UR DONE

I CAN'T

WOW

MY DEATH WISH

whiny bitch SHUT UPPPP

IDIOT

i get this dry ass kiss cause aziraphale's being a bitch

I CANNOT WIN

NEIL GAIMAN UR SO DONE DUDE

I LOST

WOW

WHAT

this nigga kissing form millenia cause I keep pausing and being upset

NOW THIS NIGGA WANNA CRY FUCK YOU

R U SERIOUS

I FORGIVE YOU? KILLING YOU NOW BITCH

[minkdelovely]

Okay so… I know I’ve popped off about this over the last two days, but being here at the end deserves like… genuine reflection (I say, knowing full well how fucking INSANE my reactions below are).

Um. I am still dealing with all the adrenaline crashing through my body right now, but I will articulate my thoughts as well as I can.

This was GENUINELY one of the best things I’ve ever read. Like ever, in the entirety of my life. It should actually be illegal that it’s not a book you can buy in the store, making it even MORE fucking insane that we just got to read this FOR FREE. FOR FREE???

Just in case you missed that: THIS HEART-WRENCHING WORK OF ART IS JUST OUT HERE FOR FREE.

It’s baffling to me, clearly, and not something I will ever take for granted. So Hazel, please accept the metaphorical flowers that I meekly lay at your feet. It’s so evident how much hard work you put into this, and I hope you’re very proud of the result, because this is going to haunt me for the rest of my life (however much you decide to allow me, cuz I might have a stroke lmao).

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. 💖

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧     ✧     ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

When his hand would come to rest on your upper thigh while seated beside each other in the common areas, you let it linger. What harm was it? Heaven wasn’t fucking watching.

I love a good girl gone bad ❤️‍🔥

The way he was now, you could proselytize until you were blue in the face and he’d still think manic love was true love.

THIS SENTENCE IS FUCKING DELICIOUS

He enjoyed horror movies such as ‘Dracula’, you enjoyed horror movies as well, just newer ones.

STOPPPP DRACULA ANYTHING IS MY FAVORITE AND I REALLY CAN’T BE NORMAL ABOUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM LIKING IT TOO 🫠🫠🫠

Actually, upon closer inspection, Alastor was nothing like you had initially assumed. While he had shown you he was capable of terrifying feats of strength and power, he was also remarkably gentle. Every time you descended the stairs his hand was barely felt as it hovered at your elbow ready to save you.

I AM LITERALLY CRYING MY HEART HURTSSSS 🥲

Or his large hands. There was a safety in the way they rested on your back. Speaking of… Your throat ran dry when he leaned into you, one of those hands sliding across your thigh,  and asked against your ear, “Ready to go?”

I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE

“You know, I was thinking,” he wasn’t looking as he spoke to you, which was odd given how often he stared at you. “If you’re going to be here with me from now on-“ You opened your mouth to argue but he put his hand up, “I’d like to know the things you enjoy doing with your romantic interests.” His smile was almost pure, you could tell he was genuinely asking.

I AM BEING CRUCIFIED

“You have twelve floors.” His hand hit the first floor button, “You can share with me your idea of a quality date. Or I can show everyone,” that clawed hand came to your neck, sliding down the evidence of your pounding heart, “how pretty you scream.”

SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP OH MY LORDDDD 🫠❤️‍🔥

A nibble at your ear, “You know I’ll win, regardless.”

*INCOHERENT NOISES*

“Oh for fucks sake.” Husk looked around, already annoyed, “You coulda just fucking asked for drinks to bring with you. You know cups are portable, right?”

Lmaooo omg thank you for this, I actually really needed some levity

His legs were crossed, but you could remember looking down and seeing them spread open beneath you. Open. Did many people see him like you had? Had his talk about a disinterest in sex actually been a trick to intrigue you? It hadn’t worked, you genuinely didn’t care what his preferences were. If anything it made you less likely to make a pass. Your eyes wandered down his slender neck to his wide shoulders. Less than a week ago your arms were resting there. Further down, you remembered that soft bit of fur at the base of his cock, a small trail from his belly button. 

I… FUCKING LOVE… ALL OF THIS

Oh. I was just thinking about my pussy drowning in Alastor’s cum.

as philosophers do 💅🏻✨

Setting your book down, you tried to walk as straight as a line as you could to him. You took the book from his hands and sat down on his lap, back against his chest, before picking it up again. “What page are we on?”

AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE TRYING TO KILL ME YESTERDAY?? THAT WAS MERCIFUL COMPARED TO THIS OH MY GODDD

The front part of your brain dissolved, you were sure of it. Your decision making abilities were entirely eradicated as his lips pressed into yours. Fuck, maybe even your basic motor skills had been fried, his tongue swiping across your mouth before you just—opened. Your hips ground down into his lap, and you felt his smile widen against your lips.

HSKXJENDISMDKSMDJZEN

You dreamt about home. About red eyes and warmth.

I REALLY NEED TO KNOW WHEN YOU DECLARED WAR ON MY PEACE AND BLOOD PRESSURE HAZEL

You decided against drinking, you knew you always made poor decisions. Like sleeping. 

hehehehehe

It was a great question. Wow he’s really good at this. It almost seemed like he gave a shit. No one had ever asked you about your creation, about your work. It was nice. Even from him. Maybe especially from him.

I could have literally copied this whole fucking conversation… beautiful 🥲✨

He nodded, suppressing another laugh.  “I see. Well, allow me to give you something you inspired, how about that? Not made. Would you say no, my muse?”

how many times would you say you’ve ran me over now? Like 75? I think 75…

You couldn’t remember exactly how it happened, much like many of the moments you surrendered to Alastor. It was so fast and he was so strong, his hands large and confident in how they moved you. Before you knew it you were bent over the sofa’s arm getting fucked so hard your leg was shaking and your stomach nauseous.

76!!!! 🫠🫠🫠

You cried, head empty as he completely left your heat before bottoming out again, “Stop, Alastor. Stop.” A strained moan, hands gripping the wooden sofa arm, “stop, stop, fuuuuck.”

I CAN LITERALLY FEEL MY SOUL DETACHING FROM REALITY JESUS FUCKING CHRIST DUDEEE

When in hell, you supposed. You didn’t even try to argue, accepting his tongue wrapping around yours and exploring your mouth while his dick churned up your insides. Full from top to bottom. Full of Alastor. Safe. Wanted. Needed. 

CAN YOU ACTUALLY STOP KNOWING ABOUT ALL OF MY HOPES AND DESIRES??? THANKS 💖

A scream of ecstasy as both legs shook violently, you finally got your hands free orgasm but to your shock it didn’t stop. As it appeared to wane, it just started mounting again. By the third roll, Alastor came with a push so deep your chest fell over the arm of the sofa. If not for the hands bruising your hips, you would have fallen off entirely.

FUUUCKKK DUDDEEEE OH MY GODDDDDD!!!!!

You were drawn into him, back to his chest again with your body between those long legs. His hands came to your stomach. Alastor massaged deep circles into your abdomen. “Does that help?” His high voice lowered, husky and kind into your ear. You nodded, the pressure relieved the discomfort. 

I AM… SOBBING. AND FUCKING TOUCH STARVED (CLEARLY) 🫠

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. Believe it or not,” probably not, “I’m never trying to hurt you.” Was it terrible you actually did believe him? Yes he was a serial killer, and considered one of the most cruel overlords in recent memory. But he was always gentle when his hands were on you. Flits of memories of him washing your feet came back to you. 

NO BECAUSE IT’S ACTUALLY JUST THE DESIRE TO BE FUCKING CARED FOR AND PROTECTED AND CHERISHED 🫠🫠🫠

“But, It’s just,” you heard him swallow hard, “ah I absolutely hate this,” He whispered it to himself. “I’m just scared you’ll leave before I’ve managed to convince you how much happier I can make you here.”

77 🙃

His arms wrapped around your chest to hug you into him, “You belong wherever I am.” His cheek pressed against yours, “I won’t let you go.” A threat. A threat you leaned into and warmed yourself with. A threat a quiet part of you hoped he kept his word on.

BITCH SAME

What was worse was how you’d talk in bed about your recent reads and what happened the few hours you weren’t with each other. 

OOF INTIMACY

No, you wanted to curl into his stupid fucking lap and listen to him hum his stupid old, forgotten songs. You wanted to dance while Husk groaned and rolled his eyes. You wanted to feel loved. But you weren’t made to want things. And Alastor didn’t love you.

that’ll be 78 and 79

“You seemed bothered.” His thumb wiped where your tears had already dried, “What ever is the problem? Did someone upset you? Some neck I should wring?” You shook your head no. His other hand came to join in  holding your face, those goddamned red eyes melting you to nothing, “Some limbs I should snap?” He took a step toward you and you took two back, hands holding his wrists. Another no. “Or some cheeks I should kiss?”

80. is there even any part left of me to drive over?? again, WHEN DID YOU DECLARE WAR ON ME??

What you wanted was to be reduced so thoroughly to just a physical creature by way of pleasure that your mind disconnected from your brain. Fucked dumb, as people said. Alastor wouldn’t know what that meant but you were confident he’d enjoy sussing out the finer details of the meaning if it meant your full surrender.

SAME

You bit down on his neck, getting you pushed onto the bed in return. “I need overindulgence. I don’t wanna feel anything tonight but you.” You should practice your manners, for heaven's sake. “Please.”

OHHHH GODDDD 🫠

There it was again. That look that turned your bones to jelly and your brain to cotton; that downcast half lidded stare as he towered over you that promised to devour you whole. His hand pulled at his bow tie and loosened his collar, knees on the bed as his legs spread you open at the thighs. “Good girl.”

I WANT TO BE GOOD. I WANT TO BE GOOD. I WANT TO BE GOOD. 🥵🥵🥵

Every gap between your bodies felt like room for doubt. So you filled them with flesh and sighs and moans. 

FUUUUCKKK 🥲

He smelled like sweat and leather, probably from the chairs in the lobby. No one sweats in heaven, this seemed like a mistake now. You’d have to be sure to not wash your clothes after you left hell, or else you’d forget his scent.

YOU’RE BREAKING MY FUCKING HEART HERE

Complete surrender. “Good night kiss.” You had to stretch to meet his lips before settling back into his chest, “okay bore me to sleep with your day, sinner.” He gladly did, you falling asleep yet again to the sound of his slow heartbeat and the rumble of his words.

my brain and heart are so fucking jumbled up right now like… I don’t even know what to fucking say

“Your home is wherever I am.” A pained smile now, something akin to hurt in his eyes that did damage to you too. “Ah. So last night— and people say I’m cruel.”

100!!! FUCKKKK OH MY GODDD I’M CRYING OH MY GODDDD

Alastor began a mocking slow clap. “I’ve been convinced. Happy now? Task complete.”

I love him… so much…

“Because I wanted you. Something something first sight, as I recall the adage goes.” He crossed his arms and looked at his claws, “Perhaps my love happens to be manic by default. I am a murderous overlord, darling.”

I repeat: I love him… so much…

“So, here I am,” he opened his arms, “trusting you to not hurt me any further today. Does that fall into your narrow view of true love?”

I’M SO FUCKING GLAD I’M WORKING FROM HOME TODAY BECAUSE I AM AN ABSOLUTE WRECK

A deep breath, another shift onto your other foot again as you shook the anxiety out of your hands before finally making eye contact with him, “Well, eldritch horror, prove it.” You heard the door lock from across the room. 

I will literally never hear or react normally to a door locking the same way ever again

You decided heaven could wait. It took about two days before they seemed to notice you hadn’t entered the portal, which closed on its own some time between Alastor pushing you onto the floor and you begging him for more. Luckily St. Peter wasn’t privy to your escapades.

MMM BEGGING 🫠🫠🫠

“Heeeey giiiirl. I got a message from heaven asking what’s the hold up, worried you were incapacitated.”

this was the splash of cold water I needed, thank you Luci 💖

Alastor turned the page and hummed a reply, “Finders Keepers.”

THAT’S ALSO WHAT THEY’RE GONNA PUT ON MY DEATH CERTIFICATE

⟢Alastor x Cupid FemReader Tasked with making a demon believe in true love or you can’t return to heaven, things immediately go off the rails when you hurt yourself and Alastor catches one of your most troubling arrows; Mania

˚₊ · »-♡→ Week 1 and Week 2 ˚₊ · »-♡→Week 3 and Week 4 smut💦 ˚₊ · »-♡→Week 5, Week 6, Week 7, and Prologue smut💦

Alastor demands you tell him what you’d consider a nice date, which makes a surprisingly lovely time in the library. Dancing leads to… not dancing and a minor rearranging of your guts. And finally, you try to shame Alastor out of Mania and Alastor finds himself having to explain, well, Alastor.

「warnings/promises: Smut, guts➡️rearranged, kinda dub➡️con cuz Alastor still doesn’t listen, but funnily enough neither do you?, lots of interrupting each other, Luci’s hat, you’re down so fucking bad lmao」

🎶 minors DNI 🎵

Angel was live blogging everything you said when you recounted what happened to you after returning to the hotel.

“Wait there’s a character limit, I gotta make a new post.” He was wiping actual tears from his eyes, “Fuck this is funny.”

“Hmmph,” Alastor offered a small noise from his end of the sofa. Neither of you had mentioned or even referenced the sex. There was a strange feeling between you that it didn’t happen so it didn’t need a discussion. But also that it had absolutely happened, as Alastor’s hands found renewed vigor in their search for you when in public and private and your body seemed to respond in kind. You’d still occasionally move his hand off of you, but there was a pulse of electricity every time. When his hand would come to rest on your upper thigh while seated beside each other in the common areas, you let it linger. What harm was it? Heaven wasn’t fucking watching.

Everything aside, the sex had done nothing to dispel his interest. Perhaps you’d only made it worse, for both of you. 

By midweek you found the sling useless, happily tossing it aside and beginning gentle stretches. That was more progress than you'd made in your main task. 

Every morning you woke up beside Alastor, every day you had him in your orbit, every night you fell asleep feet from him.

Had Mania not taken him he would be a prime candidate for showing the virtue of true love. He was already fucking there, a captive audience. But that wasn’t how it worked. Cupid-induced manic love could never be true. Nothing you created was true, really. But atleast with Eros or Agape you could still have added the notion of  true love to the mix. His heart would still be receptive and open to the idea. The way he was now, you could proselytize until you were blue in the face and he’d still think manic love was true love. 

An unintended consequence of living with Alastor was discovering you both had quite a bit in common, as much as that information irked you. He enjoyed horror movies such as ‘Dracula’, you enjoyed horror movies as well, just newer ones. Ones in color. He could cook quite well, something you enjoyed to do. And his taste in music was actually lovely. You had assumed he listened to screams on a 7 hour loop.

Actually, upon closer inspection, Alastor was nothing like you had initially assumed. While he had shown you he was capable of terrifying feats of strength and power, he was also remarkably gentle. Every time you descended the stairs his hand was barely felt as it hovered at your elbow ready to save you. 

Early in the week you fell asleep watching the group play a board game, somehow redemption related, and awoke with his coat laid over your body. When you thanked him, he just smiled and continued enjoying watching Niffty hide the play money.

You were finding yourself more and more wishing the arrow had never fallen. If you’d just met him as you fell, perhaps you would be staring into that portal home. There were definitely worse options around. Even his imposing height had begun to…not bother you, perhaps was the best way to say it.

Or his large hands. There was a safety in the way they rested on your back. Speaking of…

Your throat ran dry when he leaned into you, one of those hands sliding across your thigh,  and asked against your ear, “Ready to go?”

He had to have seen you licking your lips to unstick your teeth. With a nod, he stood and offered a hand to you. 

You both were already out of the elevator and walking to your room when he slowed, coming to stop just in front of you. 

His room, fucking hell. 

“You know, I was thinking,” he wasn’t looking as he spoke to you, which was odd given how often he stared at you. “If you’re going to be here with me from now on-“

You opened your mouth to argue but he put his hand up, “I’d like to know the things you enjoy doing with your romantic interests.” His smile was almost pure, you could tell he was genuinely asking.

“Well I don’t have any so, why would you care?”

“No things you enjoy?”

“No romantic interests.”

His head lolled to the side, “Sometimes I think you say things just to bother me.”

You did.

“I do.”

You thought if you kept being rude maybe you could keep him at an arm’s length. Not get too attached. You’d been kind to people you didn’t like before and eventually you started to like them. This was that. But opposite.

He stared down at you, taking a step closer. You took one back. That smile shifted from pure to sinister, his eyes half lidded. You could almost see the thoughts playing on his face.

“Alastor-,” your back hit the elevator doors. The pounding of your heart when he brought his face to yours drowned out the sounds of the button being pressed. When the doors opened you fell backward with a yelp, but a strong arm caught you by the waist.

“You have twelve floors.” His hand hit the first floor button, “You can share with me your idea of a quality date. Or I can show everyone,” that clawed hand came to your neck, sliding down the evidence of your pounding heart, “how pretty you scream.”

As soon as the doors closed you were pressed against the elevator wall, right leg pulled up and around his waist. “You wouldn’t dare.” You had meant it to sound strong but instead it was half whispered with a shaky voice.

He popped a button off your blouse, “Maybe!” Warm mouth now on your neck, his tongue ran over your pulse, “I wonder if everyone is still in the lobby.”

Over his shoulder you watched the numbers counting down. The hand that cut off the button slid down to your bottoms, slipping under the waistband.

On the 3rd floor the elevator stopped. When the doors opened a demon you didn’t recognize was standing there, eyes wide and mouth open. He didn’t make a move to enter, Alastor looking over his shoulder and sharing what you could only assume was a death glare. The flickering lights were a giveaway to his anger.

His fingers dipped down and cupped your sex, hot palm pressing into your folds. 

The doors closed again and you watched the second floor light up. A finger bent and pressed into you.

A nibble at your ear, “You know I’ll win, regardless.”

He was right. Which was the smaller defeat? Humiliation or just telling the bastard your idea of a nice time?

“Books. Drinks.” You squeaked, the first floor lamp now aglow. His hand pulled away just as the doors opened. 

Expecting him to gloat you were surprised he just hit the 10th floor button. The library. 

He opened the door for you. The library’s main area had two reading chairs bookending a long antique sofa. You took the chair furthest from the door, hearing the door lock.

With a snap, the entire bar with Husk included seemed to fall three inches out of thin air.

“Oh for fucks sake.” Husk looked around, already annoyed, “You coulda just fucking asked for drinks to bring with you. You know cups are portable, right?”

It was nice, actually. Husk poured, you both read. There was an unnecessary fireplace crackling behind you. Cozy. And it got cozier and warmer the more you drank. Your shields softened as the glasses emptied. 

Your book was good, but as you felt the alcohol hit you were reminded of the last time you’d gotten a little past tipsy. Sneakily, but not at all, your eyes wandered over to Alastor.

His legs were crossed, but you could remember looking down and seeing them spread open beneath you. Open. Did many people see him like you had? Had his talk about a disinterest in sex actually been a trick to intrigue you? It hadn’t worked, you genuinely didn’t care what his preferences were. If anything it made you less likely to make a pass.

Your eyes wandered down his slender neck to his wide shoulders. Less than a week ago your arms were resting there. Further down, you remembered that soft bit of fur at the base of his cock, a small trail from his belly button. 

Husk watched your face turn pink, “You good?” Your head whipped around, looking confused. “You’re getting red.”

Oh. I was just thinking about my pussy drowning in Alastor’s cum.

No, obviously not!

Alastor’s eyes left his book and found yours. They were so red; his eyes, not your cheeks. No one in heaven had such wicked an appearance. When you didn’t reply, busy staring back at Alastor, Husk groaned, “Aah fuck.”

“What are you reading?” You asked, clearly able to see the book title from where you sat. 

Alastor held it up, “Oliver Twist.”

“Never read it.”

You had read it.

Setting your book down, you tried to walk as straight as a line as you could to him. You took the book from his hands and sat down on his lap, back against his chest, before picking it up again. “What page are we on?”

“You can leave, Husker.” Alastor didn’t even look at Husk when he said it, eyes still on your face.

When the door closed and Alastor could lock it with a snap, he uncrossed his legs. “Would you like to start over dear? From the beginning.”

Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

“Can we?” You leaned your head onto his shoulder. When had he become so comfortable…?

“We can.” The book was set aside, his left hand pulling your chin up, “I think we skipped a few chapters before.”

You opened your mouth, “I don’t like kissing.” 

“You will.” 

The front part of your brain dissolved, you were sure of it. Your decision making abilities were entirely eradicated as his lips pressed into yours. Fuck, maybe even your basic motor skills had been fried, his tongue swiping across your mouth before you just—opened. Your hips ground down into his lap, and you felt his smile widen against your lips.

“Stop smiling. I just like warm bodies.” You reached for the book and opened it to the first page, “and you’re so fucking warm.”

He began to read, but between the rumble of his chest, his voice in your ear, and the heat of his body, you fell asleep.

No matter. Alastor just hummed. With a summoning of his shadow you both sank into your shared bed, where he continued reading with you against his chest.

You dreamt about home. About red eyes and warmth.

Was it so bad, being in hell? Sure you had a fucking deer demon as guard dog but it seemed his mania was … not so terrible. Honestly he seemed relatively normal now. He would wander off for significant lengths of time, even leaving in the mornings while you were still lazing about. A kiss to your hand was the indicator he would be popping off somewhere.

Alastor still wouldn’t let Lucifer alone with you, but otherwise everything was okay. You’d even come to enjoy certain aspects of his possessiveness. That ever present hand, for example. Even when it wasn’t on you, you could still almost feel it. It had become second nature now.

The week was actually peaceful. Your pain was entirely gone, you could move about freely. Despite that Alastor still would press up behind you and offer to help dress you. An offer you declined, but every time he asked you paused longer and longer before saying no.

Alastor was happy to find you in the library toward the end of the week, you having wandered off when he was called away. He summoned a confused but pissed off Husk again, who was midway through making someone else’s drink. He set it aside, pouring Alastor his whiskey. You decided against drinking, you knew you always made poor decisions. Like sleeping. 

Delighted by the impressive collection you found a non-fiction and settled into the same large chair.

“Reading is a virtue.” He said to himself yet out-loud, taking a seat and setting the radio on from across the room. Etta James. ‘Somethings got a hold of me.’

“A little past your time, isn’t it?” You smiled, you liked songs about love. Not because of who you were, you just liked the idea of someone so enamored they have to make art.

He laughed, “Nosey little bird, have you been asking about me?”

Well shit. You had forgotten to play dumb. The past couple weeks you had casually inquired about Alastor from the other staff members. A modest collection of facts to help you better understand the man. A quick recovery. “Know your enemy!” 

He cackled, “Sun Tzu! What does Cupid need ‘The Art of War’ for?!”

What, did he expect you to only read romance novels and Roman mythos? “You can’t make a shadow without light. In fact,” you put the book down, “The Greeks thought Cupid was a child of War and Beauty.”

Okay well, Greek mythos is a little different than their Roman counterpart’s. So. There.

Alastor watched you leaning over the arm of the chair, no sign of pain as you did so. Your injury must have mended well. “Do you have parents?” He asked, genuinely wondering how your kind were created. 

“No, we're just… made. And then sent off on assignments.”

“You must be terribly busy, just one person for all of earth.” If Alastor could pull some limbs and find out more from anyone but you, he would, but unfortunately no one but Vaggie would know anything about you and he had a feeling her time in heaven was never spent thinking about love. 

“Oh, actually not so much! When I’m with humans I can travel around without worrying about the concept of time at all. But it takes a toll.” Or so you were told. There were never two Cupids at one time so you couldn’t really ask your predecessors. Alastor’s brows rose, unsure how exactly a Cupid could be taxed if they didn’t feel pain and couldn’t be hurt. “Every trip to Earth weakens us. Until our bodies just, I guess, give out.” A smile crept across your face, unsure what expression you were supposed to be making.

“Is it just Earth? Or,” he lowered the radio volume with just a glance, “Every time you leave heaven?” It would take a great effort to not notice the weight suddenly blanketing the library. Silence was heavy with what he was really asking you. Would remaining here kill you?

It was a great question. Wow he’s really good at this. It almost seemed like he gave a shit. No one had ever asked you about your creation, about your work. It was nice. Even from him. Maybe especially from him.

You had never been to hell, so you couldn’t be sure, but, “I think it’s a human-world time-thing. But I guess we’ll find out!” Another misplaced smile before you awkwardly leaned back and picked up the book.

While you hadn’t noticed the slip up you had made, Alastor had. “I suppose we will.” 

You would find out, because you wouldn’t be returning to heaven. He was glad you, even if unconsciously, understood that. And perhaps you could live forever if you never returned to earth.

When the song ended, you offered one of your own. 

Alastor was pleasantly surprised to hear you request Nat King Cole’s ‘It’s almost like being in love’.

Standing, he offered you his hand for a dance. “Ugh I hate this cheesy shit.” You said it but stood anyway, putting your hands in his.

Alastor laughed, swaying side to side, “Not a fan of romance? Has Cupid never been in love?”

Those were two seperate things. How could you explain? “Drug dealers number one rule. Never get high off your own supply. That would be—.”

Lonely. Pathetic.

“A bad idea.” His cheek rested on your head. It was a shockingly tender act. “Can you understand? Why would I want something I made. What’s special about that?” 

“And what of true love? It isn’t made by you, yes?” Asked into your hair.

“Yeah but when will I ever find the time to make a connection worthwhile. Winners and Angels are gluttons for choice, I am obviously built for a fun time not a long time.” Which you were…fine with. Yeah. I mean, what choice did you have? “And I don’t want to force it…so…” you trailed off. The rest didn’t matter.

He nodded, suppressing another laugh.  “I see. Well, allow me to give you something you inspired, how about that? Not made. Would you say no, my muse?”

Inspired? Like a song? “Ha, what have I inspired in you, heathen.”

Alastor stopped dancing, his hand pulling your face up for a kiss which took you by surprise.

“Seriousl-,” Husk mercifully disappeared in a flash of neon green.

You couldn’t remember exactly how it happened, much like many of the moments you surrendered to Alastor. It was so fast and he was so strong, his hands large and confident in how they moved you. Before you knew it you were bent over the sofa’s arm getting fucked so hard your leg was shaking and your stomach nauseous.

This was much better than songs or art or whatever you inspired in others. You were gasping with every breath, the action somehow heightening the sensations. The little huffs and groans your body was pulling from him had your heart racing.

His cock was smashing your womb into your guts, the entire organ suddenly feeling like a new pleasure spot. Every jolt to your cervix made a novel kind of bliss pool in your stomach. 

You cried, head empty as he completely left your heat before bottoming out again, “Stop, Alastor. Stop.” A strained moan, hands gripping the wooden sofa arm, “stop, stop, fuuuuck.”

He was pulling out too far and too fast, hitting back too hard and too deep. Your cunt felt swollen around him, your entrance so soft and wet he didn’t need precision to sink back in.

“Does it hurt?” He said quickly on the down beat of his thrust.

“Nngh no.”

“Theeen, no.”

Alastor pulled you up by your chin, back bending as he titled your mouth to his. Despite your mouth hanging open with your tongue out as salacious as you’d ever been,  you told him, “I really don’t kiss during sex.” 

The look in his downcast eyes sent a shiver along your spine, a power there you couldn’t push against, “You do now, my dear.”

When in hell, you supposed. You didn’t even try to argue, accepting his tongue wrapping around yours and exploring your mouth while his dick churned up your insides. Full from top to bottom. Full of Alastor. Safe. Wanted. Needed. 

You pulled away when there was an overwhelming bone-deep sensation spilling through your hips and down your thighs. The muscles felt weak there, and you had an urge to runaway from it but Alastor held you still. 

A scream of ecstasy as both legs shook violently, you finally got your hands free orgasm but to your shock it didn’t stop. As it appeared to wane, it just started mounting again. By the third roll, Alastor came with a push so deep your chest fell over the arm of the sofa. If not for the hands bruising your hips, you would have fallen off entirely.

The ache in your stomach began immediately, you’d have thought someone had been punching you in the gut. Well, more literally than they had been. When you groaned and complained to Alastor about what he had done, he pulled you up by your waist.

You were drawn into him, back to his chest again with your body between those long legs. His hands came to your stomach. Alastor massaged deep circles into your abdomen. 

“Does that help?” His high voice lowered, husky and kind into your ear. You nodded, the pressure relieved the discomfort. 

You wondered if he was used to taller demons than your shorter heavenly form, or perhaps he wasn’t used to anyone at all. Maybe sinners had more room than you did. 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. Believe it or not,” probably not, “I’m never trying to hurt you.”

Was it terrible you actually did believe him? Yes he was a serial killer, and considered one of the most cruel overlords in recent memory. But he was always gentle when his hands were on you. Flits of memories of him washing your feet came back to you. 

“I know perhaps,” his hands kept moving, your back already stuck to his with well earned sweat, “I have at times been easily incensed.”

You nodded quickly.

“But, It’s just,” you heard him swallow hard, “ah I absolutely hate this,” He whispered it to himself. “I’m just scared you’ll leave before I’ve managed to convince you how much happier I can make you here.”

It’s not that it was funny, necessarily, but the very idea hell could be happier than Heaven was laughable. It was Heaven. It was made to be happy.  It existed purely to please. 

The smile faded from your face. Well, for the winners. It was made to please the winners. It wasn’t made for you, but you still got much enjoyment. You had…sex. Great sex. Not held aloft in a radio tower great, but…You always came. Everyone did. Wasn’t that the point of it?

Wasn’t that the point?

What was the point?

 A warm and lonely bed is better than an empty one alone. So.

Well, your bed was always warm and never lonely in hell now that you’d been “moved”.

You had… Hobbies. You liked swimming. 

Okay well the hotel had a pool. And yes, if you weren’t running off to earth on command you’d have more energy for hobbies.

What were you thinking about this for again?

You gathered the scraps of your relevant thoughts, “Happiness isn’t being confined to a hotel, Alastor.”

“As soon as you show me you won’t leave me, I won’t care where you go. As long as you’re safe.” One of his hands left your stomach to stroke your cheek, “I’m just waiting for you to realize what I already know.”

If Alastor were to ease his grip on you, could you enjoy yourself? Well, more than you did. But it was more than that, you had to admit you hated the idea of losing, of just running away. “I don’t like giving up.” 

His laugh was quiet but it rocked you as his chest moved. “Darling they threw you to hell and told you you’re not allowed to leave unless you do homework. Giving up what? Being a servant to heaven?”

If he had said it a couple weeks prior, you would have left the room indignant. But now, settled against his hot skin and being so softly touched, it sounded like tough love.

“I don’t belong here though.” You were talking to yourself. So many excuses.

His arms wrapped around your chest to hug you into him, “You belong wherever I am.” His cheek pressed against yours, “I won’t let you go.”

A threat. A threat you leaned into and warmed yourself with. A threat a quiet part of you hoped he kept his word on.

You were getting too comfortable. Every morning you woke up to Alastor curled into your body, holding you tightly to him and you found yourself smiling before your consciousness clicked on. At some point in the last week he grabbed your chin and kissed you good night and suddenly every time he left your side you allowed a kiss to your cheek before he parted. What was worse was how you’d talk in bed about your recent reads and what happened the few hours you weren’t with each other. 

The thing that made you realize you were getting honestly too deep was when you went to go to bed early and actually took the elevator past your floor, walked all the way to his station and told him good night. You’d made it to his chair and were leaning down for your kiss when your face fell flat. 

He asked what was wrong but you shook your head. A poorly faked smile offered to him.

You sat in your bed. His bed. Your bed?

You sat in bed and wondered how to press forward. Two months, nearly, you’d been in hell. At this rate surely heaven had made a replacement. If you could make it back quickly you could still keep your place.

A decision was made, you’d never confronted Alastor head on. You had misunderstood his illusion of you. But maybe if you just forced it into his thick skull he’d been controlled and puppeted by an arrow, not his free will, he would abandon it to save his pride. 

Knees to your chest, why were you crying again? Did you want to go home?

No, you wanted to curl into his stupid fucking lap and listen to him hum his stupid old, forgotten songs. You wanted to dance while Husk groaned and rolled his eyes. You wanted to feel loved.

But you weren’t made to want things. And Alastor didn’t love you.

Okay, one more night to enjoy yourself before you pissed him off so much he kicked you out of his bed. Or took such a turn into obsession he never let you leave the room again, allowing you to shirk responsibility for not returning to heaven.

When you turned the handle there was resistance, the door pushing in. 

“Alastor? Done already?” He’d seemed busy earlier.

He closed the door and locked it. Oh. A blush. The sound of a locking door had come to mean certain things to you.

“You seemed bothered.” His thumb wiped where your tears had already dried, “What ever is the problem? Did someone upset you? Some neck I should wring?” You shook your head no. His other hand came to join in  holding your face, those goddamned red eyes melting you to nothing, “Some limbs I should snap?” He took a step toward you and you took two back, hands holding his wrists. Another no. “Or some cheeks I should kiss?”

Stop crying.

An eager nod. “Don’t cry, my love.” Soft lips catching your tears, thin fingers wiping them away. He kept walking forward and you kept walking back until your legs hit the bed. 

One more night, just in case. In case he forfeits the mania.

You kissed his neck, startling him. “Rare form. Did you need some more intimate attention, darling?” You tried to avoid initiating, never knowing what he wanted or when, never wanting to enjoy his touch too much. “I could indulge you.”

What you wanted was to be reduced so thoroughly to just a physical creature by way of pleasure that your mind disconnected from your brain. Fucked dumb, as people said. Alastor wouldn’t know what that meant but you were confident he’d enjoy sussing out the finer details of the meaning if it meant your full surrender.

You bit down on his neck, getting you pushed onto the bed in return. “I need overindulgence. I don’t wanna feel anything tonight but you.” You should practice your manners, for heaven's sake. “Please.”

There it was again. That look that turned your bones to jelly and your brain to cotton; that downcast half lidded stare as he towered over you that promised to devour you whole. His hand pulled at his bow tie and loosened his collar, knees on the bed as his legs spread you open at the thighs.

 “Good girl.”

No punishment or inspiration, just that mental numbness that turned off all your worries. We’re you making stupid faces? We’re your sounds embarrassing? Didn’t matter. You didn’t care. You clung to his body like you’d fall apart without his skin on yours. Because you would, in some fashion. 

Every gap between your bodies felt like room for doubt. So you filled them with flesh and sighs and moans. 

With his height difference you were smothered by him when in traditional heaven-approved missionary, but you liked lying on top. Your head only made it to his chest when your hips were positioned above his cock. You could go slack and let him move you on and off himself. You had been lying when you said you preferred to not move or make noise, but you’d learned he got harder and more feral when you let him manipulate your body any way he pleased. 

He smelled like sweat and leather, probably from the chairs in the lobby. No one sweats in heaven, this seemed like a mistake now. You’d have to be sure to not wash your clothes after you left hell, or else you’d forget his scent.

After finishing, he was surprised to find you still clinging to his torso, arms under his armpits and hooked onto his shoulders. He offered to pull out and let you lie down but you just held on tighter in response. He glanced around the room, soft light and softer music on the radio. Your quiver and bow rested against the armoire, practically dusty. He asked if you were alright, a hand coming to your back with large claws gently scratching.

“Yeah I will be.” you lifted your head, waiting.

Both of his eyebrows rose, unsure what you were waiting on.

Complete surrender. “Good night kiss.” You had to stretch to meet his lips before settling back into his chest, “okay bore me to sleep with your day, sinner.” He gladly did, you falling asleep yet again to the sound of his slow heartbeat and the rumble of his words.

You awoke nauseous, already knowing your day was going to fucking suck and it’d be your own fault. The idea of approaching Alastor and initiating the conversation felt impossible, your feet became stone when you thought of it.

The coward’s option. Wait for time alone and then pace the library until he came to find you.

After an hour or so he did, smile brightening as he entered. “Should I summon the bar?”

You shook your head no, struggling to speak. He sat in his chair, book still on the small side table.

Heart pounding, you considered doing this another day or week or maybe year but knew you’d already lost so much time. “Alastor, I need to talk to you about my task.”

He snapped the book shut, eyes not leaving his hands. “Oh?”

“I need to leave the hotel or at least need serious time alone with someone. I need to change someone’s heart on true love. I can’t go home—,” you were cut off, Alastor standing quickly.

“Home?”

“Alastor.” You stood your ground even as his spine stretched and antlers widened.

“Your home is wherever I am.” A pained smile now, something akin to hurt in his eyes that did damage to you too. “Ah. So last night— and people say I’m cruel.”

“I’m not supposed to be here!”

A snap, his anger and desperation eclipsing his pain, “Why don’t you ever listen-,”

Your turn to cut him off, “Because you’re under a spell! You act so fucking tough like you’re in control all the time. But you’re not! It’s just the effect of the arrow.”

He laughed, but you kept going, “Don’t act like you’re sooo strong you can fight the effects of my shot. You don’t fucking love me. Not really, not naturally. It was an accident. You’re just— it’s been made by me. I don’t want it. I want something real and true.”

“My feelings are true, just let me speak. I can make you understand if you’d just listen to me.” Pupils like pins, teeth somehow sharper.

“Alastor you can’t have true love. Nothing triggered by my arrows can ever be true.”

Another ring of laughter, “Tell me then how your true love is different than mine, Oh Wise Cupid.”

You huffed, “Don’t talk down to me, radio demon. True love means caring deeply for someone else that occupies your heart and mind-,” he opened his mouth, looking around the room for where you found the audacity but you snapped twice to get his attention back, “not just that! You put them first without fear because if they truly love you they would never take advantage of that. It’s trusting them with the most fragile parts of yourself. It's a best friend. Someone who makes you feel like a better version of you, makes you want to always be improving yourself.”

Alastor was still smug, staring at you from his unnervingly demonic height, “Lovely! Last question, expert, is true love ever one sided?”

You thought for a beat, “It can be.”

He hummed, body swiftly resuming his smaller but, again, still too tall scale, antlers remaining fierce as his sinister smile dropped to just a small upward turn of his lips. “I see. You’ve truly enlightened me. I believe you.” The sarcasm wasn’t lost on you.

You rolled your eyes and licked your lips to go off when a portal opened beside you.

Heaven was just beyond the shining circle.

You looked from Alastor to the circular doorway, taking small steps towards it. Your hand pressed through, confusion wiping your own smugness off your face.

Alastor began a mocking slow clap. “I’ve been convinced. Happy now? Task complete.”

“But- the love Mania causes…It clouds the mind, you can’t even process the idea of true love properly.” You searched the floor for some clarity.

His hands stopped, eyebrows meeting his bangs as a laugh that started typically but quickly morphed into maniacal filled the room. You just kept pushing your hand in and out of the portal. Alastor finally quieted, antlers fully drawn back into little prongs. He stared at you. A shiver as his smile reached his ears. That look again. You took a deep breath, ready to be eaten.

“Your little arrow didn’t pierce me, you glorious fool. It literally fell into my pocket. I was never under the effects of your magic. I said that many times.” He straightened out his suit jacket,  “Very plainly, might I add. You just never listened to me. So sure you knew better than I did.”

You sputtered, too many thoughts trying to express themselves, “Why did you act like that then?!”

“Because I wanted you. Something something first sight, as I recall the adage goes.” He crossed his arms and looked at his claws, “Perhaps my love happens to be manic by default. I am a murderous overlord, darling.”

All the energy left your body, shoulders relaxing. “Oh.” 

“So, here I am,” he opened his arms, “trusting you to not hurt me any further today. Does that fall into your narrow view of true love?”

A good question. You shifted your weight onto your other foot, looking back at heaven. You could see the shining gates.

He sighed and brought his arms down, “I can’t promise how long I’ll let you stand there and look at anything other than me.”

A warning.

A deep breath, another shift onto your other foot again as you shook the anxiety out of your hands before finally making eye contact with him, “Well, eldritch horror, prove it.”

You heard the door lock from across the room. 

You decided heaven could wait. It took about two days before they seemed to notice you hadn’t entered the portal, which closed on its own some time between Alastor pushing you onto the floor and you begging him for more. Luckily St. Peter wasn’t privy to your escapades.

It was a fact Sera was aware you had completed your task, because a knock came to the library door on that second day after you did so. Entering without waiting for a reply, which was brave, Lucifer and his hat popped into the room.

“Heeeey giiiirl. I got a message from heaven asking what’s the hold up, worried you were incapacitated.”

From your seat in Alastor’s lap you lowered your book, “How nice of them to suddenly care about my well-being.” You brought the book back up, “Little late.”

He nodded, “Uh huh, uh huh. Yeah I can understand that. Sooo,” his fingers tapped the door, “What should I reply with?”

Alastor turned the page and hummed a reply, “Finders Keepers.”

ᡣ𐭩ˋ°•*⁀➷ masterlist

∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @wettiny-in-smutland , @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog , @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum ,

@ivebeenthearchersstuffn, @rubyninja1 , @simphornies , @alleystore , @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @ive-no-idea-what-to-call-this , @fizzled-phoenix , @fjorjestertealeaf , @phobophobular , @surusurusuru , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo , @simplyonehellofanotaku , @xixflower , @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 , @watereddownmilk , @raynerrold , @crazii-saber-wolf , @valkyrie-expeditions , @bontensbabygirl , @sillyb0nez , @oo0lady-mad0oo , @jazzmasternot , @pseudobun , @fraugwinska✨, @alitaar , @straows , @alastorssimp , @angelicwillows , @b-o-n-e-daddy , @one-and-only-tay , @asleeponelmstreet , @tremendoushearttaco , @mutifandomkid , @sapphirecaelis , @itzzzkiramylove  @saccharine-nectarine , @viannasthings , @looking1016 , @ultimate-duck-king-lucifer , @blakeaha , @astraechos , @reath-solia ,

🏹Alastor stalkers: @celestial-vomit , @amurtan

@faeoffaith , sailorsmouth , @jeannyjaykaydeh , @jyoongim , @cosmic-lavender , @saturn-alone , @lustylita , @radio-darling , @kaylopolis , @dickmastersworld , @leviskittywh0re

@asianfrustration13 @alittletiredcry @sirens-and-moonflowers @alastorssimp

@sugurubabe , @zzzykiek , @phamtasic

[pondering-gales-left-orb]

First of all once it all set in that everything before the battle and the battle itself was sorta the intro/ tutorial i had to go lie down on my bed to process it omg

Phenomenal chefs kiss amazing perfect we need to force all games to do that not just a cut scene intro but go all in like that

Also this style of world where it feels open world but its not ? Genius we need to bring that for many reasons one of them being sparing my computer processing and ram specifically lol also the first time my team got "ambushed" while traveling from one town to the other *GHASPPPPP*

Now about the companions and the dialogue bro the first time morrigsn and Alistair spoke while we were walking i had to stop because I though this was a thing with newish games only but i was wrong and i fucking love it

Side note leliana and Alistair really need to get of morrigans back about religion lmao my girl is so patient personally i would have punched leliana the second time she pushed cause girl i love you but shut upppp

Love them regardless lmao

Also i love and live for Alistair getting more sarcastic the more he gets to know leyyli his banter is Superior to anything i've experienced lmao truly as i got called out before the Alistair to Gale/gale to Alistair pipe line its alive well and real lmao

Im guessing there is a Morrigan to Astarion pipe line somewhere there but yeah its extremely funny to travel around with Morrigan cause i'd say somthing like "sorry you can't find you little brother lady" and i'd get a -10 approval from Morrigan but then i joke with her about her mother right after and shes like "hmph fine" +9 approval lol

Im only on my second village rn (the one with the castle spewing undead people out) and i've already experienced so much holly shit i absolutely adore this game i should have never let the discorse intimidate me into not playing for years holly shit

OH ALSO I FORGOT BUT I ABOUT ALMOST DIED WHEN ALISTAIR'S UNCLE FLIRTED WITH ME DBDNDNDMDKDJDJSB

[vraska-theunseen]

purveying media abojt trans people keeps fucking me upppp rereading nevada even though i've already read it bc i want to refresh my brain on it before i go to a book club about it on thursday and its just so many real sentiments i haven't read like any books that are so truthful and specific about being trans and about emotions and real to how i feel about living maria says she needs to figure out "what i need to do to exist like a three dimensional person who cares about her body and her mind and her life and her friends" and i am so. ohhhh i can talk about going on t or getting top surgery be like i should do this but i cannot even ever imagine myself taking actionable steps to figure it out idont know how to give a fuck about my life and living it i am not going to get a summer job because it's been three weeks and i haven't done anything because i was so tired and i didn't want to and so i'm not gonna get any welding experience and next year i have to do so much work for school wake up early and go in early all the time i scheduled a class for 8am on a different campus i don't know if i'm going to get a single because they changed the way room assignments are done and if i have to room with someone or live on orange i'll kill myself and i have to go to school and exist in that stupid place where i don't feel like a person because being trans is something i would have to bring up in every conversation i have with anyone ever constantly if i wanted anyone to know my pronouns and they are not going to remember or use them anyway and evelyn is not going to be there so it's going to be no one no one to hang out with who makes me feel like a person and i am going to dieeeeee

[polyghostfacehours]

Ooooo SO! Gimmie a NSFW and a SFW one about Sidney!

NSFW maybe something about oral and the SFW one about her ideal date maybe? Give it upppp.

YES. I seldom get to talk about Sid, but I have so many thoughts on our queen Im excited to share!

I POPPED OFF ON THESE BTW lol. Did what you wanted and more~

General Sidney Headcanons:

SFW:

Her ideal date is going to watch a nighttime outdoor stage play, eating good food, basking in the glow of the strung up lights, and holding her loved one against her

I tend to hc her as Asexual Biromantic or Pan with Female Pref.

The first one is my go to, but the second is what I have in mind if I write smut with her.

Sidney and Tatum go way back. They met in elementary school, 3rd grade, and their meeting consisted of Tatum pushing some girl bullying Sidney off the slide and getting suspended for it. They've been best friends ever since.

Fucking with the timeline a little, But Sid's favorite Powerpuff Girl as a kid was always Blossom.

Despite this, her favorite Ice Cream truck flavor was always the Bubbles one lol.

Sid doesn't like Horror movies OR Romantic Comedies. But she'd watch them anyway for Billy or Tatum if they wanted to.

Her favorite movie genre is actual Musicals. Modern Sidney would've loved 2012's Les Mis

She loves theater. Through and through. And absolute theater kid.

She actually met Billy in 8th grade Theater class. Most kids in Woodsboro were of the sporty type, and Billy waited last minute to turn in his elective sheet, so he got stuck with Drama class.

They were friends for a couple of years at first. It wasn't until near the end of sophomore year they got together.

She was in love with Tatum, but never knew how to express it. Her asexuality added confusion to the issue. All she knows is that that one time Tatum kissed her in 9th grade, before either of them dated Billy and Stu, that she wanted to taste Tatum's Orange Crush lip gloss for the rest of her life.

She'd die with this secret, but deep down, a part of her jumped on using her mom's death as an excuse to stop Billy's sexual advances.

Sidney hates dresses. Not because she's not feminine, but she just hates the thought of feeling vulnerable.

She's well aware of Randy's crush on her, but she acts oblivious on purpose bc she doesn't feel the same way, and she isn't sure how to deal with the issue without compromising their friendship.

She gets annoyed by Stu's callousness, but she never like, disliked him that much. He was just a casual friend, the least close to her, and she actually did find some of his jokes funny.

One really good memory she has with Stu was during a Sit In theater screening picnic with him, Tatum, Randy, and Casey (Stu was with her at the time). She had gone to grab some slushies. Some asshole bumped into her and she spilled them all over herself. Stu saw it happen while getting some hot dogs, and not only offered to let her change into his shirt temporarily, he drove her all the way to the nearest Wal Mart to get her some clean clothes, and even paid for them. He joked around with her the whole time, trying to make her feel better. It was a rare, but appreciated moment of camaraderie between the two.

She sees Dewey as her own brother.

She genuinely loved Derek. Unlike Billy, he never ever pressured her into sex, and straight up told her that if she never wanted to have sex again he'd still be with her. When he died, it was like Billy's betrayal and Tatum's death all over again. Pure heartbreak.

Sidney was willfully blind to Maureen's promiscuity. She saw how much it hurt her dad, and she'd overhear people talk bad about her mother, but in her mind Maureen was just a genuinely loving, kind, amazing woman. She and Sid were very close, and she couldnt handle the thought of her mom being a "slut".

Sidney wanted to be on Broadway one day. She ended up becoming an author.

Her and Gale have the strangest relationship. They've known each other for so many decades now, yet never became super close or anything, yet would still fucking die for each other. It's strange and neither woman knows how to describe their friendship/ The best way to describe it would probably be Frenemies

Sidney never, ever truly got over Tatum. She thinks about her on most nights, all these many years later. Whenever she sees another young, bubbly blond she can't help but let a soft smile spread along her face as heat gather behind her eyes. When she looks in these young women's eyes, she sees Tatum and everything she could've been.

Her feelings on Billy are extremely complicated. She thinks back on their relationship a lot. And in her middle age finally realized that, yeah, there was a clear turning point. In the first half year of the relationship, she was on Cloud 9. Billy's smile reached his eyes. She didn't mind getting hot and heavy with him (she's not sex-repulsed or anything). He seemed less of the "Perfect Boyfriend" and more real. Let himself show his flaws. It wasn't until where she believes the turning point happen that Billy became too perfect, too understanding, too "in love" with her. Sidney now sees how fake he became.

She always thought Mrs. Loomis was weird. She never mentioned anything about it to Billy, because she knew he loved her a lot, but every time she came over to Billy's house, she felt uncomfortable with Mrs. Loomis' smothering.

She loved her food though. She can't look at Italian American cuisine the same again anymore :/

Honestly could see Sidney identifying as Non-Binary if it wasn't the 90's.

NSFW:

So Ace!Sid isn't sex-repulsed, but she doesn't ever crave it or feel sexual attraction to people. HOWEVER, Pan!Sid is an oral QUEEN.

She prefers eating pussy, but she sucks a mean dick too tbh.

She loves the taste of pussy juices. The tang, the slight changes in taste depending on diet...it's addictive to her.

She actually doesn't like the taste of male cum much, but its not the worst thing in the world for her.

She's imagines how Tatum tastes a lot. She never got around to it by the time of the events of the movie, and Tatum's premature death prevented her ever doing so.

During the beginning of her and Billy's relationship, it really was hot and heavy as he said. They never had sex, but oral was a constant thing for both, and whenever parents weren't home or upstairs Billy usually ended up fingering her (and trying to take it further, especially near the end of their relationship)

Lmao She had a wet dream about Randy once and was like: :/

Sidney prefers giving than receiving. It's the romantic aspect of pleasuring someone you like that gets to her.

Sidney doesn't do one night stands. She's not demi like Billy is, but she definitely doesnt feel comfortable jumping into sex with someone, no matter how romantically or sexually attracted she is to them.

[kireimarkeu]

Day 1 ◑; l.mk

+repost!

summary; what its like to have mark lee as your college boyfriend for a whole month :3

5k words

+Day 1, Monday, 6:00 AM

You let out a whine when you hear the alarm ring from Mark's phone. You hit his chest repeatedly, eyes still closed, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. 

"Switch it off~" you whine, cuddling closer to his chest, pulling his arm around you to cover your ears from the blaring sound. 

Mark opened his eyes but soon squinted at the bright light. He rubbed his eyes harshly, leaning up a little to turn off the noisy sound. 

He looked down at you, a lazy smile plastered on his lips. Quickly, Mark leaned down to press his lips against your forehead. 

"I'll go shower first, I’ll wake you up when I’m done, okay?" 

You didn't reply, instead, you turn around to continue sleeping, hugging the pillows this time. Mark couldn't help but laugh at how cute you were. Shaking his head, he removed the arm that you were holding and got up to get ready for the first day of the final year in college. 

Almost an hour later, you were seated down on the chair, facing the mirror as you applied make up on your face.  

Once Mark saw you place the mascara back in place, "done?"

You nodded at your boyfriend and grabbed your bag that was laying on the bed.  

"Let's go," you mouthed, reaching out to hold Mark's hand. 

You thanked god every day that college was only walking distance from your place. You didn't need to wake up too early and you won't be too late if you overslept. 

 +Day 2, Tuesday, 12:59 PM

You stared at your lecturer, your cheeks resting against your palm. You gave up on taking down notes– you had the whole lecture recorded anyways. 

Finally, after 2 hours of non-stop accounting, the lecturer dismissed the class. 

You fished out your phone after packing all your things quickly. 

You: babe

You: are you done?

Usually, your boyfriend would reply to you instantly, but this time, he was taking some time. You pouted a little but continued to leave class. 

Once you walked through the door, you saw Mark leaning against the locker, waiting for you. When he finally saw you, a grin spread across his lips. 

"Mark!" you squealed, running up to your cute boyfriend, wrapping your arms around his torso, mark squeezed you against his chest.

"Hi, babe," he leaned down to press his lips on your cold cheeks. Mark reached to grab your hand in his, he was surprised at how cold your hand were. "Your hands are so cold!" he gasped, his hands rubbing over yours to warm yours up.

"I just got out of an air-conditioned room, dummy," you giggled. You tugged at his hand, "Lets goooo~" you whined, "I’m hungry."

Mark and you met a little more than a year ago through mutual friends. The first time both of you met, you barely noticed Mark. He was so quiet. Too quiet. 

But Mark noticed you ever since you walked through the cafe's door. He was usually a noisy guy– someone who enjoyed laughing and smiling at everything. But once he saw you, he didn't want to embarrass himself and opted to be silent the whole night.

You were so pretty. So kind, and so carefree. He liked you. The next day, he forced Jaehyun to give him your number. 

Ever since then, both of you instantly clicked and he finally asked you to be his girlfriend– something he's so thankful for. He wouldn't know what he would be doing without you. 

Ever since, 5 months ago, Mark has never failed to always meet you before lunch. It wasn't always, though. The both of you were taking different courses, hence both your timetable are different. But there were times where both of you would have lunch at the same time.

Luckily, this year, both of you have 3 lunch breaks together out of 5 days.

"What do you feel like eating?" Mark asks you, scanning the noisy room. 

It was 1 PM, so there weren't so many people in the canteen. It was usually only at noon then, both of you would have trouble trying to find seats.

You hummed, "Chinese?" 

 +Day 3, Wednesday, 5:08 PM

A grin formed on your lips when you saw Mark waiting for you after your last class. 

Running up to him, “Hiiiii~ Mark,” you giggled. 

Mark simply chuckled at you, his hands going up to your hair to pat your head softly.

“Did you wait long?” you asked as the both of you started walking home. 

He shook his head no. “Ah right!” Mark exclaimed as you looked at him with raised eyebrows. He suddenly pulled a black hair tie from his wrist, “you forgot to take this from me after lunch,” he told you, passing you your hair tie.

“Oh,” you grabbed your hair tie from him, thanking him by pressing your lips on his cheek. 

 +Day 4, Thursday, 8:34 AM

"Mark, I swear to god, it's only 4 days in–" you stop in your tracks to shut the door before turning around to face your boyfriend, "and I’m late." 

It was that day. The day where Mark started class late that day but you started at 8 but ended when his class started. 

Mark would occasionally wake up early just to send you to class. It was the least he could do for his favourite person.

Mark chuckled at how you were struggling to carry your bag. He reached out to grab your bag from you, and swing it over his shoulders as you mumbled out an incoherent 'thank you'.

"Well, thank god, you have me," Mark joked, as he started walking, you following soon after. You laughed at his words, but soon choked on the bread you were munching on. Mark patted your back, "Jeez, eat slowly, girl." 

You let out a loud cough then cleared your throat. "Fourth day in, and I almost died."

+Day 7, Friday, 3:07 PM 

“IT’S FRIDAY, BABY!” you yelled out with all your might, eyes closed, both arms stretched out.

Mark laughed at you but quickly covered your mouth with his hand, still giggling at you. “Stop! You’re embarrassing the both of us!” he laughed, grabbing your hand to drag you from the annoyed stares people were giving you. 

+Day 6, Saturday, 10:05 AM

You woke up at 10 am, no blaring sounds of the alarm clock. A small satisfied small formed on your lips. You turned in Mark's arms, hand going up to his warm cheek. 

"Markkk~" you murmured. "wake up..." 

Your boyfriend let out a soft whine, shifting with you in his arms. A huff left your lips when he squeezed you tighter in his arms and pulled you upon his chest. 

"Ah, Mark! Come on, wake upppp you poopoo head~" you squeezed his cheek softly. "We can't waste the day!!"

Mark whined and pulled away from you, turning away from you to lie on the other side, facing the window. You huffed, getting up to a sitting position, squeezing mark’s squishy arm, tugging on it multiple times. 

“Baaabe~ 5 more minutes, okay?” the cute boy mumbled into his pillow, pulling his arm away from your hold. 

You squint your eyes at your boyfriend. Letting out a long exhale, you got out of bed to make breakfast for the both of you. “I’m making breakfast so meet me in the kitchen in 15, okay?” you told mark, who simply hummed at your words. 

Honestly, you weren’t a very good cook, but for the sake of survival, you could make a simple toast and eggs. You quickly made toast and cook the eggs, then filling the table with Nutella, butter and strawberry jam. 

20 minutes later, Mark came in the kitchen with tousled hair, round gold glasses perched on his nose, eyes barely open and his pants hanging low on his hips. 

“Hi,” he mumbled, yawning quickly after.

Your right hand was holding a plate filled with toasts, while your left was holding a plate of scrambled eggs. You look up at your boyfriend, smiling at him, you quickly pressed your lips to his jaw before going to the small table to place your food. 

“Come, Mark! Breakfast’s ready.”

+Day 7, Sunday, 9:58 PM

Mark and you could be different at times. Mark was the hardworking type. He would finish whatever homework his lecturer gave, he would go through his notes that he had written down during lecture and would usually spend his Sunday studying. 

Meanwhile, you preferred not to do any homework because you think it was the biggest waste of time. It’s one day before the weekday, why would you study when you will be studying the following day anyway?

“Hey, Mark?” you called from the couch you were sitting on. 

Mark hummed, however, his eyes were glued onto his messy notes. 

“Will you follow me go get ice cream?” you asked your boyfriend, a glint of hope in your eyes because you could predict his answer whenever you ask a simple question. 

“I’m busy, sweet,” you mouthed the exact time when he said those words. You rolled your eyes. 

“But, Mark, I’m seriously craving for ice cream right now,” you whined with a pout. 

When he didn’t reply, you got down from the couch to sit next to the boy, wrapping your arms around his torso and resting your cheek on his shoulder. 

“Please, Mark~~”

The reason you were so clingy was because Mark didn’t spare you a glance the whole day, which upsets you a little because you forgot how he was like every Sunday.

“we’ll go after I’m done with this, okay baby?” he whispered, pressing his lips near your ear, still not looking at you. 

Let’s just say you’re not getting your ice cream today.

+Day 8, Monday, 7:15 AM 

“I am going to fucking kill myself,” you mumbled to yourself as you put on mascara. 

Mark could only chuckle at you from the bed. 

+Day 9, Tuesday, 7:04 PM

Mark and you were lying on your shared bed, holding hands in the middle of the bed as Mark talked about his day.  You laughed when he told a funny story that happened in class earlier

It was moments like this where you realise you loved Mark the most. Simply talking about things that happened throughout the day. 

“What happened today, babe?” Mark asked after he finished telling you everything he wanted to tell you. 

“Well, we have a project to do,” you sighed, “something I forgot we had in college,” you said sarcastically with a roll of your eyes.

“Group project?” 

“Mhm,” you hummed, “I’m partnered with Jaemin. It’s a duo project.”

“I see.” 

Silence suddenly filled the air. Comfortable silence. Both of you appreciating each other’s presence. 

“Do you wanna know something?” he asked you, turning his head to look at you. 

“What?”

“A girl confessed to me today.”

Your heartbeat started to pick up. 

“Who?” you asked.

You had thoughts that Mark would leave you for someone else before. Maybe not Mark, but you leaving him for someone else and that scared you a lot. You loved Mark with your whole heart and you have never thought of him being with someone that isn’t you. 

“You don’t know her,” he mumbled, “she’s from my class.”

You felt him squeeze your hand.

You pursed your lips, “What did she say?”

“She told me she liked me.”

You pulled your hand away from your boyfriend’s hold and turned to face him, “And what did you tell her?”

“I had a girlfriend and I wasn’t interested,” he explained with wide eyes. 

+Day 10, Wednesday, 3:38 PM 

You: hi b

You: I’m coming back late tody! 

You: don’t wait for me 

Mark Pee: okok

Mark Pee: where are you going?

You: jaemin’s place ): for project

Mark Pee: okk

Mark Pee: do you want me to fetch you from his place?

You: yes, please! 

You: I’ll text you when I’m done! Love u

+Day 11, Thursday, 11:02 AM 

“Ah, fuck!” you cursed, biting your lips in annoyance. You turned to look at your boyfriend, “Mark, I’m not getting lunch today.” 

He raised his eyebrows in confusion at you. The both of you were already queuing up for food, and now you’re not eating?

“I forgot to bring my money today,” you explained with a pout.

When you got home from Jaemin’s place yesterday, you immediately passed out after taking a cold shower. You forgot to grab some cash from your piggy bank today, where you usually kept some cash.

Mark quickly fished out his wallet and pulled out a 5 dollar bill and handed it to you. 

You pushed his hand away, “Mark, it’s fine.”

He shook his head, “its fine, you’re hungry, right?”

You tip-toed to press your lips against his cheek, “I owe you frozen yoghurt after school.”

+Day 12, Friday, 2:34 PM

Marker: where r u?

You: oh shit I forgot to tell you

You: I’m with jae again!! 

You: for the project

Marker: oh 

Marker: why didn’t you tell me earlier haha

You: sorry ):

You: were you waiting for me?

Marker: yeah haha but it’s okay, I’m going home now

You: oh, sorry Markie ): I’ll come back early to make it up to you okay?

Marker: I’ll wait for you (: 

+Day 13, Saturday, 11:18 AM

Mark continued to ignore you, despite the way you were hanging around him, trying to hold his hand to stop him from moving around, but it didn’t work. 

Yesterday when you had come home really late, despite the promise you made with Mark. When Jaemin and you finished the project yesterday, Jaemin had asked you to stay a little longer at his place to Mario Kart. Forgetting that you had promise Mark just a few hours ago, you stayed at his place until almost midnight and never told Mark. 

He was furious when you came back home. 

Once you walked through the door with a grin on your face, Mark quickly lashed out at you. 

“What happened to coming home early, y/n?” Mark asked angrily, hands crossed against his chest.

Mark only called you by your name when he was being completely serious. 

“It’s almost midnight and you’re only coming back home now?” he questioned you again with his hands placed on his hips this time. You could only keep quiet and keep your head down. “Do you know how dangerous it is for a girl to go home alone at this timing?”

You bit your lips, looking down at your feet, “I didn’t walk home alone… Jaemin sent me…”

Mark could feel his heart shatter when you spoke his name. It hurt him.

“Right,” he mumbled, turning around to go back to bed. 

You followed your boyfriend to your shared room, putting your bag on the chair, quickly changing to his clothes then slipping next to Mark who had his back face you. 

You wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing your front against his back. “Mark.” You kissed his bare shoulder, “Are you mad?”

You let out a sigh when he ignored you, “I love you.” You whispered, pressing a long kiss on his shoulder then another on his neck. “I really do.”

When you woke up this morning, you were shocked to see your boyfriend giving you the silent treatment. 

You sent him a pout when he sat down on the couch without uttering a single word. You waddled up to your boyfriend, quickly sitting on what’s yours— his lap. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you brought your face closer to his, noticing his flushed cheeks.

“Are you still angry at me?” you asked him, you leaned closer, nose touching, “hm?” this time you quickly pressed your lips on his, “are you?”

Mark parted his lips, hands going up to hold your hips, “don’t tease.”

+Day 14, Sunday, 8:07 AM

“Who’s that?” Mark groan at the non-stop vibrations of your phone. 

You turned around in Mark’s arms, grabbing your phone to see who was texting you this morning. 

“It’s Jaemin,” you replied, voice still hoarse. “He wants to meet me to finish up the project.”

“No,” Mark immediately replied, pulling you back into his chest, chin resting on the top of your head. “You can meet him tomorrow, I wanna spend time with my baby.”

You closed your eyes as you smile against Mark’s chest, “I like that.”

+Day 15, Monday, 7.39 AM

“Babe!” Mark whispered harshly, shaking you by your arm, “wake up!”

You turned around, pushing his hand away, “I don’t have class today.”

Mark raised his eyebrows, confused, “you don’t?”

You shook your head, opening your eyes a little, hands going up to hold Mark’s cheeks against your hand, “I don’t. My lecturer cancelled class today.”

He sent you a sweet smile, “Okay. Go back to sleep, babe.”

Mark leaned down to kiss your head quickly before standing up to leave, but you reached out to hold his wrist, stopping him from leaving you. 

“What time do you end class today?” 

“4 pm.” 

***

When Mark walked down the steps, he was surprised to see you waiting for him outside of school, sitting on the bench with a pout on your lips, waiting for your boyfriend. 

Mark speed up his pace to go to you.

“Babe!” he called, “what are you doing here?” a huge grin plastered on his face. 

“You’re always waiting for me, so I decided to do the same!” you told your boyfriend. 

Mark cooed at you, placing his water bottle under his armpits as he reached out to squish your cheeks between his fingers, “you’re so cute y/n.”

You let out a whine, pulling away from his harsh grip, “let’s go.”

Before you could walk away, Mark holds you back by gripping your hand. You raised your eyebrows at your boyfriend.

“I’m craving for ice cream,” he told you cheekily.

+Day 16, Tuesday, 4:35 PM

You dip your spoon into the mango flavoured ice-cream, bringing it into your mouth, savouring the sweet taste. 

“Mark, it’s your third time we’ve eaten ice cream after class this week. Are you not tired of it?” you asked the boy who was sitting opposite of you. 

“Nope,” he shook his head with a small smile as he looked up at you, “never with my favourite girl.”

Blushing, you scoop some ice cream into your spoon and forcefully pushed it between Mark’s lips as his eyes glistened with happiness.

+Day 17, Wednesday, 11:18 AM

Mark had his laptop perched on his lap, his round glasses sitting on his nose while his eyes were trained on the computer. 

Meanwhile, you were sitting on the floor, laptop on your right while papers filled the coffee table. Your hair was tied into a messy bun—a very ugly messy bun. You scratched your hair in frustration and let out a long exhausted sigh. 

Mark had his eyes on you for a while now, he noticed how frustrated you were. And there were times where things like this happen—where you get too stressed over school and would overthink. 

“You okay there, babe?” Mark asked quietly, leaning a little towards you. He hesitated on placing his hand on your shoulder—he opted not to. 

You turn around to look at your boyfriend, tears brimming your eyes, nose rosy. You quickly shook your head no. 

“Oh, honey.”

Mark quickly put his laptop away and took a seat next to you, immediately pulling you into his arms. Once you snuggled against his neck, tears started pouring out of your eyes. Mark wasn’t very good at comforting and you knew that.

He simply patted your back softly, placing soft kisses on your hair repeatedly. 

Once you pulled away from his neck with a sniffle, Mark smiled at you, “better?”

You nodded, rubbing your nose, you looked up at him with a teary gaze, “can you help me with this?” 

Despite both of you learning different things in school, that didn’t stop both of you from helping each other.

“Of course, angel.”

And Mark explained to you what you didn’t understand. It took you some time to understand him, but Mark was always patient with you. 

Once you finally got it, he pressed a kiss on your temple, “you’re so smart, babe.”

+Day 18, Thursday, 4:34 PM

You waited for Mark outside of school, excited to tell him about how well you did for your presentation earlier. But Mark hasn’t come out after an hour.

The both of you were supposed to end at the same time today, but why isn’t he coming?

You fished out your phone to send your boyfriend a text, 

You: helo where are you ):

You: im waiting for you outside 

Unfortunately for you, he didn’t reply. To make things worse, it started raining heavily from where you were. Luckily you were waiting for him under a shelter.

With a sigh, you decided to scroll through Instagram while waiting for your boyfriend. Your eyes widened in curiosity when you noticed Mark had posted something on his Insta Story. Curious, you clicked on his profile to see a video of a girl sitting in front of him in a café. 

You were pissed. Mark could’ve told you that he would be out with someone else that day—but he didn’t. 

You thought of replying to his story but you didn’t, wanting to be the mature one in the relationship. 

Just as you were about to leave, you heard someone call your name. Turning around, your eyes widened and a smile appeared on your lips when you noticed Jaemin running towards you. 

“What are you doing here?” Jaemin asked you, “do you have an umbrella?”

You shook your head while jutting your lips out.

“Come. I’ll send you home,” he told you with a sweet smile. You opened your mouth, ready to reject his offer, but before you could, Jaemin had already held your hand, pulling you under the umbrella with him.

On the way home, Jaemin and you couldn’t stop laughing at each other’s jokes. The both of you were so bright on a gloomy day. Jaemin suggested the both of you stayed indoors for a while, which you agreed to. 

Both of you stayed in a café that Jaemin had suggested. Both of you spent hours in the café laughing at jokes and trying different cakes. 

When you reached home with Jaemin, you were ready to put your key in the hole, the door was opened by Mark. An angry Mark. 

“What are you doing here?” Mark asked Jaemin with a sharp glare, pulling you towards his side. 

“Ah, Mark, Jaemin sent me home because it was raining,” you explained, looking up at Mark.

Mark turned to you angrily, “why didn’t you—”

“Anyways, Jaemin, thank you for sending me home. I owe you one,” you quickly hugged Jaemin. 

Jaemin chuckled, “anything for you, y/n.”

+Day 19, Friday, 12:48 PM

“Are you really going to fucking act this way?” you asked Mark angrily, hands placed on your hips. 

Mark rolled his eyes as he walked away from you, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You followed him, annoyed at how he was avoiding you, “stop walking around when I’m talking to you!” 

He stopped in his tracks and faced you, frustration spread all across his face. 

“Why are you acting this way, Mark?” you asked him again, “you act like this every time I hang out with Jaemin.”

Mark took a deep breath, looking at anything but you, “maybe I don’t like you hanging out with Jaemin.”

You scoffed at your boyfriend’s words, “you know, yesterday wouldn’t have happened if you told me you were going out with someone.”

He kept quiet this time, he wasn’t sure what to say. Mark looked at you before walking away from you again. 

“Fine! Just leave like at times like this! Just like you always do!” you yelled out at him, “so childish,” you mumbled under your breath. 

+Day 20, Saturday, 8:56 PM

“Fucking Mark Lee,” you cursed, “always being childish over something small,” you rambled on, throwing the pan in the sink loudly, “why is he even my fucking boyfriend? Why did I even accept him?”

When you woke up today, Mark was gone. You didn’t think much about it, but when Mark wasn’t home after 3 pm, you started getting annoyed. You woke up at 8 am today, meaning he had left even before you had woken up. 

The moment you checked his Insta Story, he had left to hang out with the same girl 2 days ago. 

“Did he think I would get jealous over that dumb girl?” you scoffed, scrubbing the dishes roughly, “he thought wrong.”

At first, you didn’t think much about it, but after a few hours, you started stalking the girl’s account and constantly checked if Mark had uploaded anything on his Insta Story. 

“I hate Mark. He’s so good at making me feel like shit.”

Just as you said that, you heard the front door slam. You took a deep breath before approaching Mark. 

You went up to him, stopping him with your small figure, “Where were you?” you asked. 

“What are you? My mom?” he rolled his eyes. “I was with someone.”

Mark walked past you but you stopped him again as he let out an annoyed sigh. 

“Who?”

He turned around in exasperation, “Naeun.”

You crossed your arms, “since when did you both get close, huh?” you asked. 

“Since she told me she liked me.”

+Day 21, Sunday, 10:09 PM

Today, Mark didn’t go out. You didn’t either. 

You couldn’t stop thinking about what Mark had said yesterday. So mark went out with someone who had feelings for him.

Does she know Mark has a girlfriend? Will Mark like her back? Will Mark leave you? Has Mark fallen out of love?

You broke out of a daze when you felt something nudge your hand. You looked up at Mark who was looking down at you. 

“Huh?” you asked, stunned. 

He nodded his chin towards the bowl he was holding, “Eat,” he told you. You raised your eyebrows at him. He looked away, clearing his throat, “you haven’t eaten anything the whole day.”

You looked down at the bowl. Mark had made fried rice with a messy egg laid on top. A small smile spread across your lips.

He still cares. 

You gripped the bowl in your hand, “thank you.”

+Day 22, Monday, 7:37 PM

“Hey,” Mark nudged your shoulder, “do you want anything?” 

“What are you getting?” you asked, however, your eyes were fixed on your laptop as your lips bit on the string of your—Mark’s hoodie. 

“Western.”

You frown, shaking your head, “No, I’m good.”

“Kay.” 

*** 

The smell of fish & chips hit your nose, as you immediately looked up to see where the smell was coming from. Your eyes landed on Mark who had his plate of food sited on his lap. 

You lick your lips at the sight and smell of the delicious food. Mark squint his eyes mischievously at you. 

“Mark,” you called, “can I have some?” you asked, looking up at your boyfriend with a glint of hope in your eyes. 

Your boyfriend didn’t hesitate to cut up a piece and dip it in the sauce and feed you. You looked up at your boyfriend with a cute smile while munching on the delicious food as you went back to focus on your work. 

20 minutes later, instead of Mark eating, he was feeding you instead. 

“I thought you didn’t want any,” Mark grumbled while placing the fork between your lips. 

You looked up at Mark playfully, sending him a cheeky smile, “it’s really good.”

“Really?” Mark feigned confusion, “I never tried it,” he said plainly with a straight face. 

You pursed your lips and grabbed the cutleries from his hold, cutting a piece of the fish and bringing up to his lips. Mark's hands went up to your wrist to help you feed him as he ate with gusto. 

“Good?”

+Day 23, Tuesday, 5:17 PM

“Babe, I’m gonna meet Naeun, are you going to be okay?” Mark asked you, taking off his top, searching for a clean shirt. 

You bit your lip. Naeun was the reason both of you had a big fight the other day. Why is Mark still going out with her? Furthermore, she had a crush on your boyfriend, you were afraid if she would steal your man away from you. 

Mark jumped on the bed as he leaned towards you, “you okay?”

You looked down at him and sent him a fake smile. “I’m fine. What time are you coming back?” you asked softly, looking at away from Mark and directing your attention to your phone.

Mark suddenly grabbed your hands, pressing a kiss against it, as you looked at him in shock. “Baby,” he said, “if you don’t like me hanging out with Naeun, you can tell me,” he told you. 

You kept quiet. 

“Do you like me going out with Naeun?” he asked once more. 

Both of you have never gotten jealous before, and you didn’t want to break that. 

You shook your head, “you can go out with her,” you told him with a nod, your attention going back to your phone. 

Whatever you said was the opposite of what you were feeling. You didn’t want Mark to go out with her at all. You didn’t like the idea of someone else going out with your person. 

Mark sighed, “Don’t lie to me.”

You finally put your phone down and faced your boyfriend, “fine.” You sighed, “I don’t like the both of you going out together.”

“Why not?” he questioned, holding back a smile. 

You wanted to roll your eyes. He was doing this on purpose. 

“I…I don’t want you to fall out of love with me,” you whispered, “I don’t want to see you leave me and love someone else.”

Mark sent you a sweet smile, “you don’t have to worry because that will never happen.” 

+Day 24, Wednesday, 1:55 PM

“Done?” Mark questions, you nodded. “Let’s go.”

He passed you your bag, while he grabs his own. “I’ll send you to class.” 

You raised your eyebrows at his words, “isn’t your class at the other end of the building?”

Both of you shared your timetable with each other at the start of the year, and you knew where his class were at. 

“It’s okay,” he sent you a sweet smile, “I’ll make it in time.”

+Day 25, Thursday, 11:08 AM

“Hi, Mark,” Naeun waved at Mark sending him a flirty smile while tucking her hair behind her ear. “Who is this?” she asked, looking at you. 

You wanted to roll your eyes at the glare she was sending you. 

“She’s my girlfriend. I told you about her,” Mark stated, his arms wrapping around your waist protectively. 

“Ah,” Naeun gasped softly. “well, um, I was thinking if you want to go out today? I got an extra ticket for—” 

Mark frowned, “I can’t, I’m hanging out with my girl today. Sorry, Naeun!” 

Right after saying that, both you and Mark walked away, with you giggling next to him. 

+Day 26, Friday, 10:00 AM

You: Markie!!!!!

Markie Pooh: what do you want bitch ass

You: rude!!

You: I need to borrow your sweater ;;

Markie Pooh: ): why

Markie Pooh: it’s my fav sweater babey ):

You: its so cold in this room ):

You: I’m literally freezing rn

Markie Pooh: argh fine

Markie Pooh: you’re so spoiled wtf

Markie Pooh: what room r u in bby

[howdoyousleep3]

I feel like daddy Steve likes to bite, like he love to give his baby bucky little nibbles. even when they're just sitting & snuggling on the couch and obviously especially when in bed. I also think baby stevie likes to give little bites at daddy James 👀 bite his chest, nip at his fingers ahhajhsjaka god K please tell us about our daddies and babies marking each other upppp

Sweet christ almighty I adore this! All the yes!

Steve is such a handsy Daddy. He’s the kind of Daddy that wants his hands on his baby at all times: hand on the thigh at dinner, hand on the lower back at a gala, brushing Bucky’s hair back from his forehead at brunch, holding hands as they walk through a bookstore, lips hot on Bucky’s neck at a stoplight. He wants to consume Bucky in the best way possible at every waking moment of every day and he wants everyone to know that Bucky is his!

He can be so playful too, grabby and wrestle-y and not above tossing Bucky over his shoulder or wrapping two arms around Bucky’s waist and lifting. These two sides have no choice but to crossover right?? Nips to Bucky’s chin when Steve’s had too many beers while out with friends at a bar, long languid sucks on the skin of Bucky’s neck while they snuggle and spoon on the couch, a suck on Buck’s ear as he cooks dinner in the kitchen.

If marks are left behind, they’re left behind—Steve can’t be blamed.

He’s damn purposeful in bed though, oof. Asks Bucky where he wants Daddy’s marks, where he wants people to know Daddy’s been and no one else ever will. The inside of his thighs? His ass cheek? The underside of his jaw?

“You better let your Daddy know before he just marks you up all over…”

And Stevie Baby!! Such a biter, oh my goodness, such a puppy. He just gets so carried away sometimes and it honestly isn’t his fault, he swears. He can’t help but whine when Daddy pulls away and he wants more, can’t help the reaction to nip at his bottom lip and drag him back in. A quick tug on Steve’s hair reels him in some though, has him whining and running his tongue along the stinging skin of James’ lip.

God, can you imagine how feisty he’s feeling one day when Daddy’s goes to rub at his ear to calm him down, voice low and patient, and he turns and nips at James’ finger instead. There’s no way they wouldn’t stare at each other before laughing at the hilarity of the situation. 

Steve most definitely is someone who is always nipping and sucking and biting at his Daddy. He’s like Daddy Steve—he wants people to know his Daddy has a baby, has a boy. Marking his Daddy up before he leaves for work in the morning, biting at James’ neck and chest with a growl when they angry-fuck, nibbling at Daddy’s jaw when he pouts—it is so Stevie Baby.

Mark the babies and daddies up! I know I would. Thank you, nonnie! Lub you!

[zenyye]

listen, i really want long hair Mark nooooow I mean it goes with the fact that he plays guitar IDK IDK man I just? SM long hair is a rite of passage at this point, bonus points if you've had really short hair too because that's a flex. Speaking of SM, * sigh * I can barely handle the rapid comebacks in Kpop ...this NCT hollywood thing is aging me already Imma cry bro I can't keep up??? Unless they just like recruit Pretty Much lmaoo only five people ya know (that I already know the names of)? Now, I trust SM's creative team, they can make anything work but me and my house? We may have to become more passsive than we already are in the stanning department. I already know NCT Tokyo about to have some bops though ,that's what's up. WayV set the precedent.

Also, I went to Twitter to look for the Jaemin sees a white person and walks right out tweets and it's just so funny to imagine??? Ma boi be so fed up sometimes so this fits too well. I know he'd be civil though, as long as the people in NCT hollywood can sing. Idk how SM is gonna ensure the squeaky Kpop image star thing with Americans but okay. All the best to the team! And you're funny. Yo this ask is reading like a penpal ting lmaoo.

-Penpal long hair mark enthusiast..anon

i specifically want THAT long hair on mark so bad i would fight lee sooman himself

you know the tokyo unit and wayv are gonna be a power sibling relationship fs there's literally no doubt in my mind that nct tokyo is gonna fuck shit upppp i can't wait to see more of taro and yuta they both fit so many themes its gonna be so good omg (still manifesting wayv comeback ohmmmmm ommmmmmmm p l e a s e)

nct hollywood is a sleep paralysis nightmare that we are for some reason seeing enacted? the only white person i'll even slightly tolerate in there is hrvy and it would take some convincing for me and jaemin both 😭idk what sm is thinking when 70% of their idols are scared of white people. jisung literally just discovered we exist don't scare him more

THANK U FOR THINKING IM FUNNY ANONIE ILL KEEP GOING JUST FOR U