#BUT HES FIXED NOW ALL IS GOOD SORRY
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realizing ive been using. text format to upload some of my stuff instead of actually labeling them as photos. uhhh whoops.
SO reposting this one just in case. Very Good Sprite redraw friends. enjoy.
#lol sorry for resposting but I WOKE UP AT 5AM AND MY BRAIN WENT “WAIT IM STUPID”#BUT HES FIXED NOW ALL IS GOOD SORRY#my art#pizza tower#pizza tower fake peppino#you will look at my sons a second time and you will LIKE HIM (if you want. im not forcing you.)#love yous~
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Portrait of a vampire
Photo of a werewolf (who doesn't trust cameras)
As a treat I like to paint my characters realistically from time to time... so I can see them...
Webcomic
#to be clear I do NOT think my art is like photorealistic#it's just extremely funny to read his expression as like. apprehension towards the camera#please imagine with me. play in this space with me#I know canonically he has been on camera but we're playing pretend...#anyways they are both extremely good looking I love them both so dearly........#time and time again#ttawebcomic#adam and steve#adam#steve#portrait#illustration#digital illustration#I figured out what was bothering me about adam's portrait#so now that I fixed it I'll go ahead and post them together#I NEVER KNOW WHAT TO SAY in my captions sorry#I also dont know what to tag things as...#but I DO know how to talk about all kinds of shit in the tags!!!#so I do that!#wahoo yippee#also it is SO hard to make them match in more detailed styles#cause steve comes with way more detail (scars hair rougher skin more angles) than adam does...#so he always looks more detailed. ANNOYING!!!!!!#oh I just remembered something else I want to draw. I will write it down now so I dont forget
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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I really hope that Spider gets to visit Neteyam, gets to see his little brother and play in the memories of the good times. the times before their bond faded. before Neteyam pulled away and became crushed beneath the wait of his parents and clans expectations.
maybe Spider is war-torn and grizzled, while his best memories of Neteyam keep him young and naive of the horrors of the world. maybe when he gets to hold his brother again, his hands calloused and skin scarred, while Neteyam's are tiny and soft.
they can play tag and hide and seek and go fishing. they could just be kids. Spider can escape war for mere moments to just. be at peace. and he'd hug him so tight the kids squeaking "I can't breath, stop!" giggling up a storm. and Neteyam doesn't question why his brother is so much bigger than he remembers, cause he makes a much comfier napping spot.
and maybe Spider gets to see his brother's face, older, but not so tired and worn. his eyes have a younger spark in them, his smile is less weighed down and tight at the corners. his shoulders stronger and held high, no longer bearing too heavy a burden. he can hug this brother freely and tell him he loves him and call him 'brother' without agonizing tension and distance. a chasm in his chest filling in slightly.
knowing his brother is free and happy in Eywa brings him peace.
#never shutting up about this#ever#I'm so sorry#their dynamic is just. so insane to me.#doomed brothers. so doomed one died and they didn't even know if they were brothers anymore (they always would be)#they both knew they were brothers. but questioned one another#Spider thought 'teyam didn't want to he his brother. Neteyam thought Spider had every right to hate him for the distance he put between them#neither knew how to fix it. cause they were young and dumb snd foolishly thought they had all the time in the world.#but one day they will meet again. and Spider will savor the hugs he can get. and tease. and play. and be a good big brother.#and Neteyam. no longer trying to maintain an image or his parents pride. can just accept it freely.#this is my canon now. cause James gave us microscopic crumbs on these two. so I actually took over for him.#writing their canon is my government appointed job now. trust.#avatar 2#avatar the way of water#spider socorro#miles spider socorro#miles socorro#avatar#avatar spider#spider avatar#neteyam sully#neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan#neteyam
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you'd think a timeloop of mouthwashing would go so hard but unfortunately i think to remain true to the source material. the crew member stuck in the time loop WOULD have to be jimmy
#opposite of a 'fix it' fic#'i didn't think it was possible for things to get worse but you keep proving me wrong' fic#mouthwashing#sorry i have a lot of thoughts about this#i think so much of curly's character is tied up in like. you knew something was wrong and you didn't act and now you can't.#like it's not a coincidence to me when the printout for the asteroid warning comes out. you had a heads up about the asteroid#you had a heads up about this man. and you didn't act and now you can't.#so I don't think a timeloop would work for him. it WOULD fix him but it would not fix his character. iykwim#anya and swansea would get too much done. all you need is one time where you have access to the scanner to get the gun#and you can just start killing jimmy. and they would. good for them#i would feel too bad to do that to daisuke. im not sure what he would learn other than exactly what swansea points out#abt learning and coming out worse#unfortunately mr bob the builder wannabe WOULD think he should be in a timeloop and it would match his character /neg
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putting a tiny pink bow in Viktor's hair. He is mine. I have married him. he cannot be hurt anymore.
#sorry but not sorry actually ://////#litterally everyone is fucking him over rn fuck all of you hes mine someone needs to take good fucking care of him for GODS sake#a third of his content now is damsel in distress for jayce#and another third just straight up erases all his distinctive features to make him into the most average looking man in existence#that includes riot splash art i cant believe they reused hweis icon and just drew over it#i am so excited for season 2 to blow over so we're just back to chilling between people who actually respect his fucking character im going#INSANE#i just saw another “”“”fixed“”“”“ edit for his teeth im gonna kill someone#BEGONE#viktor arcane#arcane#mine#rant
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Happy birthday Viktor! Ignore Jayce over there, he's cut out bc this isn't about him/j
#For those interested the cake flavor is tres leches with blackberry jam. Because I had it once in a birthday and it was rlly good#It's already December 29th here so might as well idc anymore I'll post now or else I'll spend the rest of the day fixing and refining detai#Over and over and over and it'll never be done. Because ughhhh I'm not that happy with the result tbh#I always feel like the final is a lot more stiff than the sketch. Like damn I took away all the whimsy and life in it smh#Also it wasn't the idea but Vik ended up looking like he wants Jayce bad. Idk what to do about that? but what's done's done good for them i#viktor arcane#i drew something#arcane fanart#Arcane#Arcane season one#I guess#viktor arcane fanart#not tagging jayce bc this isn't about him/j#Fun fact today is also my sister's birthday but that can wait. It's barely 1am Viktor comes first#Anyways I've recently been trying some new things with my rendering. I quite like this style! It's so fun#But yea I'll probably try to make more Viktor and Jayce art to bury this one bc I feel like I didn't do them justice here#Also sorry if I get the right and left mixed up in the description in alt for the record I genuinely am that dumb#alt text#described#image description in alt
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OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.
#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter.#he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point.#and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!!#hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do!#the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into-#one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT.#but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb.#I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time.#and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances.#and doesn’t want to hear any excuse.#but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment.#NOW. CHAPTER 17.#UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN#Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC.#IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!!#BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’#WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM.#(NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.)#and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through.#despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up.#like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him.#that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying.#just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner.#IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD.#and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore.#he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had.#and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT.#<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but.#eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind.#I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags
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>> I'M THINKING MIKU MIKU OO-EE-OO <?>
#the batman 2022#edward nashton#hatsune miku#vocaloid#fanart#digital illustration#do you guys remember when it was a big ol trend on twt to draw miku as a movie character or whatever#i did this back then but never posted it#ive been doing Badly but its mostly bc i have a tomcat in my apartment lol#my cat has had tummy issues for a good long while and nothing seems to fix it so the vet gave us the go-ahead to neuter him anyways#im fairly certain its all just stress now and man no one talks about how hard it is to keep a poor hormonal tomcat relaxed#and we have the advantage that he's fully indoors and we dont have any other cats#its been terrible anyways¡¡#so yeah ive halted drawing for that reason#its been raining like crazy too#should i just offer drawings for money¿¿ i can scrunch up like an hour a day on my bf's pc i think#i wanna buy rain pants so badly#i'll do a price sheet i think#buy drawings from me so i can buy rain pants and vegetables#im going thru it im sorry#have a nice day (':#i hope you have a better day than me at least haha
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The knife shakes. The air throbs with the blood.
"God, help me."
A Rope In Hand
#carlisle cullen#carlesme#twilight fanfiction#twilight fanart#my Rope Carlisle#do not look at him too hard you will see his weird gerbil mouth#truly idk how he managed to have such a swollen cheek but im past the point of being willing to fix it#this is my baby mannn#he is a cutie i cant lie#and ofc he must be accompanied by a scene from Rope that you wont get for a good while from now#im sorry i keep doing this#whilst not updating#i am also writing Chapter 12#writing is just a lot more brain intensive than drawing and my teacher training is wiping it all out of me#there is a non bloodied version of this too#should yall want to see him without crazy lighting or blood#he looked less gerbilly before i added the blood#idk what that says about him or gerbils#ugh#Carlisle is so slutty for looking like this#esme is minding her business and the hotty with the merc and the kids is looking at her LIKE THIS#i would not recover#also dont look too hard at the lighting Story and I had to debate which direction it was coming from lol
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hi fam !!
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#mikey welsh#ahhh omg :( i just fumbled so bad socially#and i just need to like. never speak again i feel.#and i’m trying to comfort myself because like. my friend started talking badly about me#and said i only use her to vent which makes me sad because i didn’t think that was true and i try to do sm for her#i made physics study guides for her ; compliment her when she posts ; and post her on my story a lot and always wave to her and talk to her#and i dunno. it makes me sad to think that but i can’t help it; you know? i just need to be alone sometimes and not speak to anyone#and it isn’t like i don’t wanna be her friend ; of course i do but like. it just hurts my heart she doesn’t wanna be my friend anymore#and it hurts my heart so bad and i dunno what im meant to do. and yesterday i had a party#and i said a bad joke in front of the wrong people and i just. accidentally embarrassed one of my good friends and i feel so bad#and everyone js went quiet and it’s just. i feel awful and need to be like. beheaded.#and i try to comfort myself like oh it’s okay. today is a new day. but today i feel even worse about it and there’s nothing i can do#to fix this; like on one hand THERES NOTHING I CAN DO TO FIX MY BLUNDER!!! but on the other hand; there’s nothing i can do and i have left#my imprint in their minds and it’s so bad. i wish i was like. dead or something; yk? like not even weezer can make me feel better and it#sucks so badly . i wish i could just not think anymore and ignore everything in my life. i just hate myself so badly right now ; and i can’t#even be sure that i’m gonna be better cuz i just lack so much social awareness. i wish#i was more socially aware . i just hate when i get too comfortable. i wish i awkwardly sat in the corner and#didn’t speak to anybody the entire night to spare myself from any awkwardness. i hate parties!! i shouldn’t have gone :(#SORRY FOR THR BENT POST I JS NEEDED TO TELL SOMEONE AND LIKE. GET KT OHT YK?#it’s just so. ahhh i hate everything sm rn :( but liek me and the friend joke like that all the time and idk. im just. :( i feel terrible#and i’ve apologized and he said it was okay but embarrassing cuz some ppl looked at him for his reaction#and i dunno. i just feel awful and need to just. focus solely on academics until my brain is fried and i can’t function or something !
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The thing that sucks about knowing the context for a popular ship redraw meme or incorrect quote is watching people be so so incorrect about it and just having to sit there, gripping your thigh, reminding yourself of your values
My personal problem is the quote from "Everything Everywhere All At Once": "In another life I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you"
Because every day EVERY DAY even with ships I love, I watch people use it as a "Oh my god isn't it so tragic that these two characters are forced to suffer the horrors or to be ripped apart when in their heart of hearts they want to be living domestically and doing laundry and taxes?"
And I have to sit there and think "No no you don't get it! That line wasn't the tragedy of the characters not having a better life where they can just be together. It's a different kind of tragedy! The main character didn't like her normal Chinese immigrant life of running a laundromat and dealing with taxes and her family in the USA. Once she learned about all of these different worlds, she began to feel even more like her current life was one that she didn't want. In fact, this life where the guy said that popular line was one where she chose not to go to the USA with him to build a life and love together and became a famous actress instead. She has been thinking about how her husband truly held her down and stifled her life. How if she hadn’t chosen him she wouldn't have had to deal with him and her life would be better and more exciting. And so she's talking to this alternate version of her husband who never became her husband, and she starts making a case for why this is the best outcome. After all, who would want to live in a laundromat and do taxes when she can be a movie star and have anyone she wants? And this is when he tells her that that life that she rejects, that she feels is lowly and one that no one would want, is something that he wants. He doesn't care that she's a famous actress now, he would have loved to just live a simple life with her, even if it was hard and taxing. And this moment in the movie is so so many things (things I'm not even doing justice to here), but it is also a major moment that highlights the disparity in these two characters (even if one isn't her og husband) and their desires.
The main character feels trapped in her life and that she never lived up to her potential. Her husband truly would want to be with her simply because of the bits where it isn't exciting. Even if they're poor and suffer hardship and do things considered simple and lowly, he would still like that life with her.
So yes every time I see this meme my brain screams "get out of here with your blorbos in an au who tragically can't live normally and domestically. Bring in your blorbos who love(d) each other and are messy and are on the verge of divorce and want different things in life, who have to make a choice in what to do about it. Give me your "person who feels trapped in this small life and wanted bigger and better things who lowkey resents the other who is just supporting them" x "person who understands this life isn't always easy or glamorous but is glad that they get to do it every day with this person, who would choose a life of love with them no matter what"
#i just be ramblin#god that movie is so good#after that scene?#in one of the timelines the mc let's go and starts smashing shit before signing the divorce papers. and her (now ex) husband begs for her to#be let off easy and claims that this only happened because he sprung divorce on her. so she sits outside and smokes with the lady with the#irs who went through the same thing#there's a universe where her and the irs lady just live happily and intimately and simply out of love. and happen to have hot dog fingers#in her original universe she goes back to the appointment with her family and the irs lady to fix their taxes. she stays with her current#life but she understands her husband and her daughter much better now#She gets to live out all feelings of anger and anguish and catharsis and potential choices for this situation in different universes#and while this version of her chooses to stay with the life she has now‚ she is still never punished in the universe where she chooses to#divorce her husband and change her life#The story doesn't present a sole solution to the dissonance between her and her husband's wants out of life#She just is able to learn things about herself from this journey and improve as a person due to her experiences with different versions of#her husband and daughter#the narrative gives her all the tools and lessons she needs to make her choices and recognizes that there is no sole good choice#except perhaps the idea that we have to choose to be kind to people in this world#anyways sorry for going off about this#this movie is amazing and makes me feel things and it gets me when people misrepresent such a painful line from that movie as being about#the tragedy of not being able to have a simple life with the one you love
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Part 2: I hope you are sorry
#(💽🩷) *.✧ — M3gabyte#not as good as the vermelho one i did with mega BUT#lore relevant at least ☝️#where do I start....#oh yes#Vermelho#Vermelho hai hai hello how are you (dead)#one day I was with nero messing around and just thought#what if and only what if Vermelho was Glitchy's brother too?#but due to his code being poorly made and you now. that glitch of him losing no matter how strong he is#M3ga was created to eliminate errors and glithces so it only made the things worse#still#M3ga can't bring him back because... that's already lost and M3ga isn't the best at it's work either so#rip glitchy's brotha#you would've loved this place (lie)#sorry my mind is around the place ERMMMM#i just wanted to finish this already and went straight to the point#i would have loved to make more pages of them ighting but I'M DEAD#anyways#I think one of the worst things that could happend to M3ga is the fact that Glitchy this time is stopping it but seriously#even if it doesn't seem like it. M3ga looks up to Glitchy. at least a little since it's the closest person it has at the moment#maybe that's one of the reasons why his words hurt even when they shouldn't#also idk if I even mentioned this before but M3ga is constantly tryint to fix Glitchy's home. trying to be useful for once#because that's literally what it was was made for#and him just saying “leave it just like that” is like taking away every little effort M3ga once did#yeah I hate them a lot /lh#should I even... add the tag...#(🪶) *.✧ — Vermelho#yeah why not#IF I FORGET SOMETHING I'LL PROBABLY MAKE ANOTHER POST. MY MIND IS JUST THINKING ABOUT MANY THINGS ALL AT ONCE
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vent in tags sorry
cw: mention of loss
#adding a long note to the beginning so no one sees the actual vent in the case that they don’t want to which is absolutely okay#okay that’s probably good#i feel like a failure today.#my car wouldn’t start on friday and i haven’t had a moment to actually call a mechanic until today#called early in the morning and he said he’d call me back with a time#i’ve reached out multiple times since then and have heard NOTHING#if i don’t get it fixed today i’ll have to take my partners car instead#and when i asked them if that would possibly be okay#they started off on a rant about how they were planning to do all this shit tomorrow morning and now can’t if they don’t have their car#but genuinely. how tf was i supposed to know about their plans?? why did they have to say it all like this is completely my fault???#i’m sorry that i’m still in a not so good mental place right now and might forget to do things in a more timely manner#i’ve had two grandparents pass away in the span of a few WEEKS. give me a little grace.#i give them the same understanding every day when they’re having a rough time#so why can’t they offer me the same thing?#i know they’re just stressed and tired and busy but FUCK SO AM I#i’m just. over it. i want to go to sleep.#and by sleep i mean literal sleep i’m not insinuating anything darker i promise#i may be in a rough spot mentally but it is not that kind of rough <3 i’m safe#just. very tired. and in need of support.#i feel like i’m always giving and rarely getting support in this relationship.#and now i’m just feeling like a burden and an inconvenience for even needing the extra support in the first place#the urge to run away and start my life over is strong holy shit
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getting the mitch marner sads is the worst feeling in the world btw
#like sorry but my head is saying Bad things. BAD THINGS !!!!!!!!! THINGS I DONT APPROVE OF NOR WOULD EVER WANT IN A MILLION YRS#he deserves better than real life and the ominous trajectory that refuses to leave my mind#i believe in him. watching any of ur favorites go through a stretch where theyre not#~living up to their potential~ is such nightmare fuel like all of last season w auston was hell on earth#n i was just waiting it out til both he and mitch were healthy again#and now theres htis. and its not even like ----. ANyway anyway.#i refuse to believe or give into that. it just makes me sad that so many ppl fucking want it lol#that so many ppl think it would Fix™ smth like. hes some kind of problem. like youre evil bro#i desperately need him happy#things are so much less fun#also despite hot starts for others. this season does not feel like we're doing our best on the whole or even that good tbhglksdj which#another point toward my we-go-as-mitch-goes analysis#we're sitll winning the stanley cup tho. i believe
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Hello! I am here to ask about your Dior headcanons re: the political cohesion of Doriath. 👀
Oh man, I didn't expect anyone to actually take me up on that!
(Okay so I got partway into writing this and then realized I should probably note up front that I tend to stick to the Silm (& LOTR/the Hobbit where applicable, but they... aren't, here) as the most authoritative version of canon, and I can get into why and where the nuances/exceptions are there (I do say tend to stick, it's not hard and fast!), but that's mostly a side note here: the point is simply that I don't really factor other drafts or the poetic Leithian into my take on Doriath, Thingol, Dior, etc, just what we're told in the actual Silm. I also read the Silm as an in-universe history text compiled by in-universe scholars, who, being people, are going to have their own biases and blind spots, even when they're doing their best to be accurate!)
So, this is a two-part thing: #1, there's the political cohesion of Doriath before & at the time of Thingol's death, which i talked about in the tags of the post that prompted this ask but is kind of necessary as context for the Dior part to make sense, and #2, there's the actual Dior headcanons. Both of these parts are very long because I've never really seen anyone else suggest any of this stuff and I want to explain where I'm coming from thoroughly enough that it actually makes sense to people who aren't me, but the TL;DRs:
TL;DR 1: I think Doriath was probably a hot mess politically after Thingol died, with tensions between various groups of Sindar and Laiquendi in the leadup to Thingol's death & Melian's departure, and more political tensions afterwards between those who wanted Beren & Lúthien to come be the new rulers, and those who thought they should stay gone, with someone still in Doriath taking over.
TL;DR 2: I think Dior became Eluchil, potentially at the request of some portion of the Iathrim, hoping to help prevent Doriath from devolving into civil war, and saw dealing with the Silmaril-Fëanorioni situation as a lower priority than stabilizing Doriath's internal political situation until it was too late.
1. The political cohesion (or rather, lack thereof) in Doriath prior to Thingol's death
So, okay, the thing about Doriath is that we don't actually have any real idea of like... how much the Iathrim liked being the Iathrim? We're never told about any intra-Iathrim conflict, but a) the Silm was probably compiled mostly by surviving Gondolindrim or their descendants, so they wouldn't know about anything liike that unless surviving Iathrim told them, and after the Second Kinslaying I don't imagine many Iathrim would've been eager to talk about how things had actually been tense/messy/etc when they could remember everything as having been perfect until it was ruined by the Fëanorionrim, and doubly so after the Third Kinslaying, so why would anything like that make it into the Silm?
and b) what we do know about Doriath is that it wasn't really Doriath as we know it until Morgoth came back to Middle-earth, and everything went to hell.
At the start of the first age, you suddenly get Doriath (the fenced land!) being the one protected area of a continent that used to be totally free and open. How many Sindar actually didn't particularly care for Thingol's style of leadership, or simply preferred to live nomadic lives, going basically wherever they pleased, until suddenly that wasn't safe anymore, and you were only guaranteed survival if you were close enough to Menegroth to be within the Girdle when it went up? ditto how many Laiquendi had no interest in swearing loyalty to Thingol right after their own king had just been killed, but again, made it to safety and stayed there over taking their chances on their own in the outside world? (None of this is meant as any insult to Thingol himself, by the way; he can have been a good king who did his best for his people and still rubbed some of his new subjects-by-necessity the wrong way, through no fault of his own or theirs.)
I think it's entirely possible that there were always potential political tensions under the surface in Doriath that just... never got written about, because they never boiled over into actual political conflict, and so it was never the sort of tension that had any bearing on the historical record.
Except then Beren & Lúthien happen to the world, and a few years later the Narn, and in the blink of an eye suddenly the only king Doriath has ever had is dead, and the only queen Doriath has ever had is gone and the Girdle with her—and more than that, the only rulers the Sindar had ever had for three thousand years before Doriath existed.
And where a few years earlier I think the Iathrim would probably have turned pretty universally to Lúthien, now she's abandoned them for her human husband—and while she's my favorite character in the entire legendarium hands-down and I don't blame her, I think that's another place there might have actually been some very mixed feelings among the Iathrim that nobody wanted to admit to later because how could anyone have been upset with Lúthien—and on top of her abandoning them for him, I think it's extremely probable most of Doriath did not actually get over their xenophobia about humans in general or Beren in specific when Thingol did (we know for sure at least some of Doriath didn't, cf. Saeros insulting Túrin's mother & sister to his face), but again, who's going to admit to having had a grudge against the holy couple of Middle-earth after the fact, you know?
Conversely, there could've been a sizeable faction of Sindar who had been totally loyal to Thingol until everything happened with Beren & Lúthien, but who found his actions towards them and/or Finrod to be where they drew the line, and while (unlike B&L themselves) that faction stayed in Doriath, there could've been a new, additional tension on that front.
Finally, for all we know there were multiple factions within the Laiquendi of Doriath, with political tensions stretching back to before their king died, rooted in who-even-knows!
2. Dior
All of that, of course, sets up a very, very messy political situation for Dior to walk into.
The Doriath stuff is arguably more speculation than actual headcanon, but here's where the unambiguous headcanons come in: I don't think "Dior Eluchil set himself to raise anew the glory of the kingdom of Doriath." Obviously that's how it got written down, but bluntly, I can't see Beren and Lúthien having a kid that stupid or, like, power-hungry and arrogant?
What I can see is a situation where the messenger that brought word of Thingol's death and Melian's departure asked Beren & Lúthien to come take over as the new king and queen, we promise we're not mad about you leaving and we won't be xenophobic to your husband anymore we swear it's fine now pretty please, Beren & Lúthien said no, and the messenger either asked Dior as a second choice, or said "okay fine none of that was actually true but Doriath is falling apart and we need a leader ASAP and there's about eight different contenders* (mostly kinsmen of Thingol or Laiquendi) being backed by various factions and it's going to devolve into civil war any minute so if you care at all—" and Dior said "would I do?"
(* Ask me about my Galadriel headcanon)
I don't think Dior necessarily wanted to be king of Doriath, and I don't think he saw the throne as his birthright or anything like that; I don't think anyone involved, from Thingol to Lúthien to Dior himself, ever considered the possibility of Thingol dying and needing an heir! I think it's possible he was asked, or at most that he offered, and either way, I think he saw becoming king as taking on a responsibility for the sake of others.
(Which, like, "well here's a potentially impossible task that I'm going to take up even though probably no one thinks I'm actually capable of it, but it's my duty to help others as best I can" sure does sound to me like an attitude one might develop when raised by Lúthien "I kicked Sauron's ass cast a sleep spell on Morgoth and persuaded the Valar to find a loophole in the fabric of reality" Tinuviel and Beren "I stayed by my father's side as an outlaw to give my mother time to lead the rest of our people away hopefully to safety knowing I would never see her or any of them again (and then spent several years being a giant thorn in Morgoth's side for good measure)" Barahirion, where "apparently my grandpa I may or may not have ever met died, guess that makes me the king of a place i may or may not have ever been" does... not.)
I also think he either took on the epithet Eluchil, or was given it by whichever factions of the Iathrim accepted him as king, when he actually became king. Obviously he's going to be referred to as Dior Eluchil even before that in retrospect because that's how he's thought of later, but that doesn't mean it was actually a name he always had, you know?
The final thing is, I think if Dior essentially walked into a political situation five seconds from devolving into civil war, it makes his inaction regarding the Silmaril prior to the Second Kinslaying make more sense: the Fëanorioni have been sitting around doing nothing about the Silmaril in Doriath / with Beren & Lúthien this whole time, the letter saying "hey that's our Silmaril give it back now" is probably just a formality, and Dior's only been ruling for a couple years, there's still plenty of people dubious about whether he should be king at all, he might well be subject to at least some of whatever xenophobia remains about humans in Doriath, and in general all the work he's done on stabilizing the kingdom will absolutely come undone again if he screws up; he's trying to keep a kingdom from falling apart, the Silmaril thing can wait.
Of course, it wasn't a formality, and it couldn't wait, but why would Dior have known that?
#shrikeseams#replies#doriath#the silmarillion#dior eluchil#lotr#lotr meta#i guess?#character: dior#jesus christ this is so much longer than i meant it to be i'm so sorry#also my lunch break was supposed to end twenty minutes ago WHOOPS please forgive any typos i have no time to fix#also there wasn't a good place to stick this in#but i also think everyone in doriath probably has PTSD about thingol's death#(many of them may also have had PTSD already esp the laiquendi or those of the sindar who had to return to menegroth in a hurry#when the first waves of orcs showed up#but anyone who didn't already almost definitely does by the time dior gets there#because holy shit our king is dead the girdle is gone none of us are safe now and he was murdered before the girdle even fell#so have we even been as safe as we thought all this time or were the last couple centuries a lie?)#but yeah those are my dior headcanons!! idk if that picture of doriath or dior in particular are to anyone's taste but mine#but if nothing else i like the idea of dior getting to be... an actual person? and someone i can see having been raised by beren & lúthien#and he doesn't really get to be either of those in the silm and i rarely see him in fanworks getting fleshed out like other characters do#and i think that's kind of a shame#you know?#also yes i am completely ignoring that dior's name theoretically means ''successor'' bc like. why would they name him that#that is from an early draft and there is no way to know if ''dior'' would even have stayed his name#if tolkien had gotten around to updating all the names in B&L/CoH etc into modern Sindarin#never mind if it would have meant anything remotely similar#this is mostly a first-draft post written in one sitting in the space of 45 minutes partially while late for work#i have Definitely left many points out and i am sorry if anyone has questions about things i probably have answers / can elaborate further?
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